#buttered popcorn jellybeans are gross

[slafkovskys]

that video of joe made me think of joe x loela where she’s with the tavares kids one day and they try to prank joe with some candy (like bean boozled or something) and he’s clearly grossed out but trying to be polite (which she finds so endearing) but she can’t help but giggle with the kids. he’d be like “oh you think this is funny” and something about his town makes her giggles stop and bite her lip

jace giggles as loela slips him the jelly bean in his small hand. he beams up at her with a wide grin, whispering a, “thanks lala!” before scampering off to locate his target. axton follows after his brother with his blanket trailing behind, joining along in the shouts of, “joe!”

loela quickly seals the box and grabs her drink, popping her head into the livingroom just in time to see jace hand joseph the jellybean. the older man man keeps a loose arm around rae who was about to retire for the night anyway as he accepts the single piece of candy, “thanks dude.”

jace was too young to have mastered the poker face so the second that joseph puts the candy in his mouth, he’s running away in a fit of giggles to hide behind loela’s legs. it’s only then does joseph realize that she’s been lurking, but it was too late. based off the way that his face shifts to a sour expression, loela guess that he got a rotten egg flavored jelly bean instead of buttered popcorn.

she tries to muffle her laughter with her hand as he grabs his drink, sending a pained smile to the boys before downing his water in one go. he situates rae before narrowing his eyes, “you think that this is funny, loe?”

and maybe it’s the way that his tone has become raspy from the attempts to clear his throat, or the way that he was looking at her obviously expecting an answer, but she wasn’t laughing anymore. no, instead she’s shifting her feet and biting the inside of her cheek as she suddenly feels very hot. joe’s look of annoyance quickly turns into one of knowing as he gauges her reaction to his words.

it’s at that moment loela makes a decision, her boyfriend wasn’t allowed to plus one when the tavares’ have a date night anymore. she would rather tackle three children by herself than have her boyfriend turn her on (and know it!) while she’s working.

#joseph woll #joexloe

[phantom-does-a-thing]

"here try this buttered popcorn jellybean its SOOOO good and DOESNT taste like popcorn at all you should try it here try it its so good" AND THEN IT WAS AWFUL AND BAD AND HORRIBLE AND GROSS AND YUCKY AND DISGUSTING

#I think my mom has broken taste buds #bc that was the nastiest jellybean ever #it tasted like evil kettle corn #rambling #phever dreams with phantom

[eternaljunkyard]

hey does anyone want. my buttered popcorn and toasted marshmallow jellybeans because. gross

#junkyard rambles

[yourspuddeldybuddeldy]

my sister got an easter basket and gave me her jellybeans and i ate a solid amount before i actually got to one i didn't like. black licorice. gross, i don't like black licorice but whatever i'll power through and eat it anyway. i've got the bad aftertaste of it now, so i grab another jellybean to mask the flavor. this was a mistake. at first it's just bad, but the flavor of the new jellybean grants my request to get rid of the lingering black licorice aura with too much furvor, and has turned the tables on me in a situation comparable to the granted wish of a sly genie. it coats my mouth, and i can feel it invading my nose as well, despite only having had the chance to chew it twice. i begin coughing against my will, my body recognising it as an aggressive attack before my mind can, and quickly deciding to purge all traces of it. i rush to the kitchen to spit it out either into a trash can or the sink, whichever i encounter first. vaguely, beyond a thick curtain of revulsion, i'm able to suss out some semblence of flavor besides 'biological attack'. muffled whispers of buttered popcorn. how? how can something as delicious as buttered popcorn be butchered and twisted so viscerally to be this far beyond recognition? i may never eat a jellybean again, traumatized from this event as deeply as i have been. i've had soap flavored, even rotten milk flavored jellybeans, but somehow the memory of those doesn't hold a candle to this monstrosity. at least they were in a joke package that gave some semblence of forewarning. but this... to be blindsided to viciously, lulled into a false sense of security and comfort by the orange easter egg they resided in, a verifiable trojan horse for its dastardly scheme against my tastebuds... it's barbaric. heed my warning, learn from my mistakes. be wary of jellybeans that come with no flavor labels.

#literally traumatizing #i put them away and now they're sitting on a table in their little capsule #i haven't eaten another one and at this point i think i'll give them back #i can't subject myself to trying another one #it was a whole double whammy situation #it would've been funny except i still tasted it for like 15 minutes after the fact

[raziroo]

Cotton Candy

Pairing: Lotor x gn!reader

Genre: Fluff

Warnings: Saying "Shit" twice

Word count: 2,076 (yay) (also, I edited this, I still need to update the word count)

Author’s Note: I'm crap at writing dialogues, and this is my first time writing for a gay couple. I'm so sorry if it seems forced or unnatural or shitty. Don't be afraid to call me out.

Story Moodboard!

It’s with a grunt of effort that I manage to lift the carton containing the cotton-candy-maker.

‘Here, dad,’ I say as my dad takes the box from my hands. ‘That’s all?’

‘Yep, that’s all of it. We’ll conquer this carnival with our delicious cotton candy,’ I nod, doing jazz hands while saying the last part. Dad chuckles. I grin.

‘Hey, Honey!’ I turn back, squinting to spot where my other dad is in the crowd of bustling people. Where, where…? Yep, there he is – in his embarrassingly brilliant sunshine yellow and bottle green striped shirt and hot pink trousers, a sharp contrast to his natural bright red hair. Don’t say that it can’t look that bright; you’ll never know just how blindingly bright bottle green can really be until you see the shirt my dad’s wearing. And trust me, he usually dresses in simpler tones; such bland tones that you’d be surprised to know he was capable of wearing colourful hues as well. It’s only that he’s very passionate about his job, and so whenever we set up a booth in fetes such as the current one, he never misses to match the shop logo.

‘Hul-lo, father dearest, how seems to go your day?’

‘Oh, quite lovely, if I do say so.’

‘Well, that’s simply charming –’

‘Alright, enough,’ my other, not redhead dad snaps with an exasperated sort of smile on his visage. You see, my not redhead, a.k.a. brown-haired dad happens to be British. And that means that me and dad would rather paint our teeth blue than to not tease him. ‘You both need to shut it and start helping me with the decorations, now. You know I’m trash at all that.’

‘Aw, now don’t get discouraged,’ I say, patting dad on the back. ‘After all, not everyone can be as blessed as me, can they?’

‘Hey, why don’t you go look around for a bit? You’ve been helping out since before I have.’

‘Yeah, he’s right, pet. You should.’

I huff, rubbing my palms on the fabric of my jeans. ‘You guys sure? I’m not tired, if that’s what you’re worried about.’

‘We’re not worried, we’re just saying you should also get a look, you know? There’s a lot of surprising booths this time around. I mean, there are aliens participating too, so…’

‘Hmm,’ I play with my bottom lip a little, then, ‘yeah, okay. I’ll be back in like, an hour? Forty five minutes? Sound okay?’

‘Sounds great.’

‘Bye, then.’ And with that, I turn on the heels of my Converse, wandering about the pretty stalls and eager children and kissy couples and aliens with curious features.

It really feels bizarre, just how astonishingly fast mankind has accepted the existence of aliens. It seems simultaneously ages and just a day before when conspiracy theorists raged all around the world, presenting baseless theories and concepts as to why and how the three-man squad on the Kerberos mission disappeared. Then came the Galra, bringing along with them global terror – because alien life, intelligent alien life existed and humanity remained oblivious all these millennia, and now they were actually attacking us. It could’ve been, perhaps even was, in some other dimension, the end of Earth. But then a defender appeared; Voltron appeared in all its glory, bringing along with it proof that however much these purple aliens claim that humans are scum of the universe, humans were, in the grand scheme of things, the ones that saved the universe too.

It feels even more puzzling to actually be on a first-name basis with the leader of Voltron; that’s right, I’m personally acquainted with Keith Kogane. It was around six months after him leaving the Garrison did I come across him. He’d been loitering around the neighbourhood, had ended up in a fistfight with some other kids, and along with that a split lip and bruised cheek. I’d been watching. When the fight ended, I (somehow) persuaded him to come along so that I could at the very least provide him with a band-aid.

Long story short, we’d bonded over how our moms were no-shows and how dads were the best and we became surprisingly close friends; the only difference was that after the death of his old man, he lived alone. I’d been adopted by my two current fathers. I told him about how when they’d initially adopted me, I was excruciatingly shy. I wouldn’t even come out of my room except meals. It was only when I came to know that they knew how to make candy floss had I timidly approached them if I could have some, because previously I’d always been grossed out at the thought of having to eat that. I’d overheard this group of kids saying that cotton candy was actually just dyed granny hair, so that’s where that came from.

I love cotton candy now. So much so, that even at the age of twenty-six, I will pout if someone takes some of mine without my permission. As if I’d ever allow them to.

Speaking of Keith, I haven’t seen him in years. We lost all contact when he turned eighteen, and then he went off into space, and even when he came back, I didn’t get a chance to meet him. I bear no ill will, though. He must have formed some close relationships. Our past friendship is comparatively much more trivial.

I spot a booth selling grilled corn. I instantly head there.

As I’m about join the crowd of humans and aliens who also want corn, a familiar call of my name leads me to pull a three sixty.

Lo and behold. Keith Kogane.

Despite him having obviously grown a lot, the face was still the same. I’m sure that, if he gets a split lip and bruise on his cheek right now, he won’t look all that different.

There’s a questioning hesitance on his features; he’s probably wondering if he’s got the right person. My pleasantly surprised smile and raised eyebrows assure him. As I step away from the grilled corn stall, I notice a motley crowd behind him; some are purple, some are holding Voltron plushies, and some look way too curious to be in a carnival. The introduction is going to be fun.

‘Keith! You're gonna live a hundred years - I was just thinking about you. But anyways, it’s – it’s great to see you,’ I say with a little giggle. ‘Though I am kind of surprised you actually approached me. The sixteen-year-old you would never.’

He smiles awkwardly in return. ‘Y – yeah… I, just… oh God, this is – I’m sorry,’ he says, his inner turmoil evident.

‘It’s all good. I know you’re shit at small talk, so… like, introduce me? Maybe?’

He nods rapidly, brows furrowed. ‘Yeah, um,’ he turns to the people behind him, telling them my name, how we met, the whole affair. I give them a wave. Most of them greet me back.

‘And, this is Shiro and Curtis,’ he points to the tall, white-haired yet young man, holding hands with a tanner guy, ‘Lance, Pidge and Hunk,’ he points to a lanky, bright-smiled guy, a buffer, kind-seeming person, and a short chestnut-haired woman who, despite wearing baggy jeans and a baggier tee, looks somehow better dressed than me. ‘Then that’s Allura, Coran, and Romelle, they’re Alteans,’ a woman with enchanting beauty and a regal aura surrounding her, a redhead who’s significantly older than the rest with an impressive moustache, and a youthful appearing girl with a big grin, ‘and Lotor, he’s Galran. The Galran Emperor, in fact.’ Lotor is a tall, lilac-skinned man with aristocratic features who shares the same cheek markings as the Alteans. Oh, and he’s unfairly gorgeous, his hair a luscious mane of white which I just know will be soft. It’s hard not to stare. You remember how I said Allura looked like royalty? Yeah, the way this man carries himself, he has the aura and visage of a God. Even in a white tee-shirt and jeans he looks way better than should be legal.

I rip my eyes away.

‘So…are Noah and Oliver here too? I’d love to see them. I mean, I never did get to thank them to permit a possible criminal to sleep in their house.’

I laugh. ‘Never mind that, but we actually sit up a stall here. I could, you know, maybe even get you guys something to eat.’

‘Free? Please don’t.’

‘It’s nothing, really, just… I don’t know, accept it as a small thank you present for not letting the planet go to shit.’

A bit of thinking. Even after a nod from Shiro, it was Lance who said yes. Good ol’ Keith.

When we reach the stall, my British dad is the only one we find there. He looks up, about to say something to me, when he notices Keith.

‘Dad. You remember Keith?’

‘Your possible criminal friend who turned out to be the saviour of the universe Keith?’

‘That Keith. He wanted to see you.’

‘Oh? Well then,’ he dusts his hands, stands up, and greets Keith. Both of them engage in a conversation.

‘You guys wanna try something?’

‘What do you got?’ asks Pidge.

‘What do we got? Um, we got chocolates, candy, marshmallows, jellybeans, tortilla chips, ice cream, popcorn – butter, cheese, caramel, peri peri – Lays, like, a lot of Lays, and the good old cotton candy. What d’you want?’

So, after providing the humans with two Cream n’ Onion Lays, a pack of tortilla chips, a double scoop of butterscotch and chocolate, a small tub of popcorn, and three cotton candy sticks, I turned to the aliens.

‘I’m assuming you guys aren’t familiar with a lot of this stuff, so you could either pick whatever looks to be good, ask your friends, or I could recommend something. What’ll it be?’

Romelle was the one who asked, ‘What’s ice cream like?’

‘It’s sweet. It’s cold. And it’s like… heaven in mouth.’

‘Ooh. I want an ice cream. The… pink one?’

‘That’s strawberry. You can eat it in a cone, or in a cup.

‘What’s the difference?’

‘Well, the cup you can’t eat. The cone is like a crispy biscuit,’ judging by her face, she didn’t know what biscuit was. ‘I’ll just give you a cone. It’s all on the house, so no worries if you don’t like it.’

I watched eagerly as she licked the ice cream. An unreadable look crossed her face. Then – ‘This is almost as good as Hunk’s cookies!’

‘Really?’ Coran asked, twirling his moustache. ‘Well, then…’ he squinted to read the names of the various flavours. ‘I would like “cookies and cream”. Yes.’ A cone of cookies n’ cream was served.

‘Allura?’

‘Do you have something that isn’t sweet?’ That was a plot twist. I’d have taken her as someone who appreciated sweeter foods.

‘We do. You want spicy?’

‘…Sure.’ Peri Peri popcorn was given and enjoyed.

And last… ‘Lotor. What would you like to have?’

It takes me a lot of will to not laugh at Lotor’s way too analytical expression. ‘What would you recommend?’

‘Me?’

‘Yes.’

‘Out of all this stuff, candy floss is my favourite.’

‘Candy floss… the item that looks simultaneously like a cloud and an old woman’s hair?’

‘Yeah.’

‘I would like a helping of candy floss, then.’

As I hand Lotor a stick of cotton candy, I wait with anticipation for his reaction.

‘How am I supposed to eat this?’

It takes me a moment to process that. ‘Uh, you just… pinch a little of the stuff in between your fingers, then eat it. Or you could just, um, go in directly, which I’m thinking isn’t really your style.’

He narrows his eyes, but follows my instructions nonetheless. Only a second after putting the stuff in his mouth, Lotor purrs.

Everyone around him, being me, Coran and Romelle (Allura’s off telling Lance how great Earth food is), looks with wide eyes and raised eyebrows. Lotor appears as if he’s just died inside. The berry-shaded blush on his face is adorable, though.

'I didn't, like, poison you or something, right?'

'No. It's that... I would never in my lifetimes have expected something so tooth-rottingly sweet to be this delicious.'

'So you're okay?'

‘Yes. In fact, I quite like… this cotton candy.’

I grin.

#lotor x reader #prince lotor #vld #voltron legendary defender #raziroo #cotton candy #keith kogane #takashi shirogane #shiro #pidge gunderson #katie holt #lance mcclain #hunk garrett #galra #altea #romelle #coran #honerva #zarkon #haggar #lotor in a t shirt tho #huff puff

[hodgman]

Get over to @judgejohnhodgman to see evidence from #JJHO 486. Most of it is not disgusting, but sorry @dkirkmccoy, buttered popcorn jellybeans are gross. This week @put.this.on and I rule on dogs in kayaks, sports vs. games, mask sharing, and more. Plus, never forget: ZELDA IS THE BOY cc @arieldoom. bit.ly/JJHO486 is what you type to get it all. https://www.instagram.com/p/CFzvlLJFAuC/?igshid=1sz07k51hunvt

#jjho

[rkrusee]

How is your summer going?

I cannot believe the kids are returning to school in about 2.5 weeks.

Since the last time I wrote, we have enjoyed some summer fun. How about you?

  My brother Greg and sister-in-law Connie treated us to her company picnic at Six Flags Discovery Kingdom in Vallejo aka Marine World Africa USA. It had been probably 35 years since I went there. We enjoyed the rollercoaters, BBQ and dolphin show.

  We stayed overnight in the neighboring town Fairfield and went to the Jelly Belly Factory.  We had wanted to check it out for years.

Have ever heard of their Bean Boozled? Well, my son purchased one their boxes. You think you are eating something nice like butter flavored popcorn jellybean, but it something yucky like dirty socks. So, he and his sister are trying the various flavors in the backseat of our car during the ride home. They give their dad the nastiest flavors and he doesn’t even flinch. Randy looks at me while I am driving and says, “Your turn Hon.” Before I can say,”No way!” he shoves a black jellybean in my mouth. To my chagrin, it turns out to be skunk smell. Gross! We all had a big laugh…

We rode a diesel train from Roaring Camp Railroad in Felton to Santa Cruz Boardwalk and back.

We hiked Mount Hermon trails.

We swam at Mount t Hermon and Mission Springs pools.

    We enjoyed a delicious breakfast at Pancake Ridge.

We roasted some marshmallows for smores while participating in zumba and fieldhouse activities.

    We attended Church on the Beach in Capitola and hung out at the ocean relaxing. Randy and I enjoyed yummy mochas while the kids ate hot pizza.

  All in all, we’ve had a blast.

Feel free to share your summer fun with us.

Blessings, Rebecca

Summer Fun How is your summer going? I cannot believe the kids are returning to school in about 2.5 weeks.

#church #fun #summer

[haxxy]

wait are buttered popcorn jellybeans an actual thing that people eat? I thought they were just one of those flavors they put in those things that are like 'haha one flavor is normal one flavor is gross' things as one of the gross flavors.

No, oh my god. I’ve done beanboozled and one of the “good” flavors actually was buttered popcorn, I think? (with the alt being like... idk, moldy cheese or smth) 

But yeah there are people who fucking eat them + enjoy them out there

#bifurcationgimmick

[gingerwhimsy-blog]

Eating white jellybeans is so stressful. Like, are you gonna be coconut? Piña colada? Or fucKING BUTTERED POPCORN?

#whimsy rambles #buttered popcorn jellybeans are gross #white jellybeans #jellybeans