☆ random obey me headcanons part 2!
asmodeus, levi and barbatos ♡
part one (lucifer, mammon and simeon)
part three (beelzebub, belphegor, solomon)
part four (satan and diavolo)
cw: some small nsfw on asmo's part :p
small note: thank you so much for the likes and reblogs! i never expected such a large majority of people to enjoy my content so it's very dear to me. once again, thank you!
☆ asmodeus:
- kinda bad at cooking. his way of slicing and dicing vegetables is very mediocre if not clumsy looking. there are days where his cooking is acceptable and days where it's to seasoned or too bland (always convinces himself its good tho and posts it on his devilgram)
- though he's kinda bad at cooking, his baking skills are okay! his favorite pastry to make are cookies because he can design them the most.
- "ofcourse mc! you'll always be the first one to try my desserts! unless you want to taste something else?~ ♡"
- he has a collection of sanrios, hironos and sonny angels in his room. ESPECIALLY sonny angels. crazy thing is he always gets them for free from his fans and its always the limited edition ones
- he really enjoys watching old movies from the human world especially the romcoms. mean girls, notting hill, pitch perfect. he will pester you to rewatch it with him even though you guys have seen it multiple times already.
- he keeps a small jewelry box in his room but instead of jewelry its full of pics of you and him and the gifts you give him. theres some pics in there where the other brothers were cut or crossed out so it'll be just you and him lmfao
- he is a yandere and i stand by this. it's not as obvious but if he's really into you he'll constantly mark you with his scent and the stuff he wears. he'll leave a hickey or a bite mark if you're lucky ;)
- the type of guy to only bring a purse to school. if you ask for a pencil the bitch is gonna open his bag and say "oopsie! i only brought my makeup pouch and mirror today. sorry babe!"
- has his own private concert in showers every goddamn day
- he'll either fangirl with you about celebrities or he'll get extremely jealous because you're simping for someone else.
☆ levi:
- sometimes his ass crack will be on display when he's sitting down on the floor
- wears booty shorts religiously. sometimes he'll casually just walk out his room wearing a hoodie and booty shorts with prints on it
- has a tumblr account where he posts a bunch of hc, drabbles and other shit and until now no one knows its him
- had an amino and discord phase where he always roleplayed with other people. till this day it haunts him at night
- he livestreams twice a week on twitch and has been scolded by lucifer on stream once. there was also a time where mammon barged in his room half naked and suddenly all the views went up 10x
- trolls on roblox like it's a 9 to 5 job
- every once in a while he'll stay in lucifers room while lucifer is doing paperwork. he'll just lay down on his bed, watch and play games and even fall asleep
- makes his own persona in every fandom he gets into and writes very detailed backstories (dw levi, same)
- only reads "x reader" fics for obvious reasons
- went insane because human world games and animes are better than the ones in devildom. dont get me started about aot. (his favorite is levi ackerman obvi)
☆ barbatos:
- wishes he could get piercings but since he's the demon prince's butler he obviously can't
- started tweakin when you said some humans keep rats and bugs as pets. like he stopped polishing some plates and looked at you like you just dog shitted diavolo's name
- really enjoys your spotify playlist filled with metalhead and grunge songs. he really likes slipknot
- likes to order those cute, fancy tea sets when he has the time. when you gifted him tea leaves and a limited edition teapot set his love for you sky rocketed.
- gets annoyed when solomon manspreads
- has a really good voice when he sings. he used to sing diavolo lullabies when his father would get angry at him
- scrolls through levi and mammon's post for educational purposes cuz he wants to learn slangs just incase diavolo asks him what a specific word means
- "barbatos, what does 'runnin from da opps' mean?"
- "my lord, 'runnin from da opps' is a slang made by the new generation. it means fleeing from your haters."
- loves to tailor and iron his bed sheets so he can have a peaceful rest after a long day of non stop errands.
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This Week In BL - I’m pleased with what’s airing, but conflicted about what’s ended & getting started
Aug 2023 Wk 1
Being a highly subjective assessment of one tiny corner of the interwebs. Organized by which ones (in each category) I’m enjoying most.
Ongoing Series - Thai
Laws of Attraction (Sat iQIYI) 4 of 8 - Omg the way the bodyguard (handler?) looks at the rich kid. Gah. I see why @heretherebedork loves these 2. But I really hate him (not the handler, the kid). Fun fight scene. I love lawyer babygirl SO MUCH. HE WILL BE MY 2023 FAV CHARACTER. I’M CALLING IT. This ep, Srs? You’re killing me. Suits! Pussycat bows! And then... The Public Claiming!!!!! One of my favorite tropes! And openly flirting? Boys. I’m getting spoiled. Wait… is that…? NO SINGING. Ah well, Thai BL giveth and Thai BL taketh away.
Hidden Agenda that isn’t hidden (Sun GMMTV YouTube) ep 4 of 10 - I like the script for this. It feels like the conversations they have are very honest to a uni experience. It’s comfortable and breezy. I did not expect the kiss. Bit early in the arc. There is either going to be a lot of backend drama, or a long domestic honeymoon period. (Bet you can guess which one I vote for.)
Low Frequency (Sat iQIYI) ep 5 of 8 - It’s moving along in a Ghost Host kinda way (minus the killer chemistry). I’m not mad about it, I don’t think I'll remember it tho.
Be Mine Super Star (Mon Viki) ep 5 of 12 - My ambivalent relationship with this drama continues. Cohabitation trope. Punn is basically a huge puppy trying to spoil/cuddle/fuck his pretty kitty prince. It is what it is. Meanwhile, I just want more of Big Daddy & the Hot Doc. (Also the name of my burlesque show.) Why does Kevin have more chemistry with Ashi in a 1 min long scene than Punn has had… ever? Is this nascent bad boy effect or nascent 2nd lead syndrome I’m feeling? (Meanwhile Ben! Hi! Long time no see!)
Be My Favorite (Fri YouTube) ep 11 of 12 - Whatever. Trash(ish) watch here.
Dinosaur Love (Sun iQIYI) ep 6 of 8 eps - Aw pretty baby is unhappy his bf got injured. But also very blushing maiden. This is profoundly NOT GOOD.
Wedding Plan (Weds YT & iQIYI) ep 3 of 7 - I have decided that Lom’s theme song is BigBang’s Monster. Listen. You’ll see what I mean. Also BigBang = also very problematic but banging. What I’m saying is, I wanna punch Lom so bad, I went slightly bonkers. Water sports are addressed. A trash watch is happening!
Ongoing Series - Not Thai
Jun & Jun (Korea Thurs Viki) 3 of 8 - How DARE they make me love this show so much? I feel personally attacked. The smell thing! Gah. The way they automatically go informal in private. The flirting. The language. The suits, the EVERYTHING. It’s embarrassing how much I rewatch the final bits of each ep.
Stay By My Side (Taiwan Fri Gaga) 6 of 10 eps - I adore this ridiculous show. (I just realized that the actor playing Jiang Chi played Ray’s evil 2-timing bf in About Youth). Baby boy is quite clueless. Sweet dreams tho. I love them both so much. The washing his jersey scene was so fucking cute. Couple’s numbers, couple’s keychains, bridal towel, kisses. Thank you Taiwan for NOT activating blushing maiden. However, confident gay/confused bisexual is a go. And we got us some justifiable angst. Sigh. I’m so happy.
Sing My Crush AKA Follow The Wind (Korea Weds iQIYI) 1-2 of 8 eps - supposed to have released in the first half of 2022 this is a adaption of Myung’s webtoon, from the director of My Sweet Dear, and Love Tractor’s production house, basically Korea does About Youth. It’s sweet (the singing bits are easy to skip) and very much a story of young first love but less stiff than KBL’s usual high school fare (kinda Taiwan feeling). I like it but that very imprecision in production makes me concerned for an HEA, especially with such a low MDL rating.
Tokyo in April is... AKA Shigatsu no Tokyo wa (Japan Fri Gaga) ep 8fin - Rough final episode, but it does end happily. Fortunately, I had some warning for my personal triggers, but this is Japan and they did go dark. Full review below.
Minato's Laundromat Season 2 AKA Minato Shouji Coin Laundry Season 2 (Japan Thu Gaga) 5 of 12 eps - Shin is so cute and proud and boldly out. I love him. Movement in the relationship with both couples, even if it’s movement into arguments and misunderstanding. I suppose we got 12 eps they need to do... something.
Stay Still (Hong Kong Tues YouTube) 1 of 5 eps - It’s confusing. And… not good? Some flashbacks some present day?
It’s airing but ...
Stay With Me ... NO I WILL NOT! And you can’t make me.
Review: Tokyo in April is... AKA Shigatsu no Tokyo wa
I had to chew on this for a while but here’s where I ended up.
Two young men with a shared tragic past reunite and fall in love all over again, but the past will not stop hunting them. Based on a manga, this office set reunion romance is GREAT… damn it. It’s Japan in full on soft focus which means it gets emo, abusive, and chewy. These two characters are giving parts of their souls away in a desperate attempt to shape themselves to the expectations they have of each other.
Japan gave us the Bed Friends that Thailand could never even imagine. But here’s the thing: I don’t enjoy my BL this heavy and cutting. I know that for The 8th Sense crowd this is peak BL and I can’t argue with the fact that the romantic devotion, domesticity, script, and acting IS all on point. It’s just not my personal preference for that point to be so damn sharp. I appreciate that this being 2023 I have the luxury of consistent quality (especially from Japan) and thus the ability to say…
I acknowledge that this SHOULD get a 9/10 but I can’t emotionally go higher than 8/10
RECOMMENDED BUT KNOW WHAT KIND OF BL THIS IS AND TRIGGER WARNINGS LIKE CRAZY
Japan = sticking to its lanes like their BL is on rails.
Next Week Looks Like This:
Starting:
8/11 Love Class Season 2 (Korea Fri Viki) 10 eps
8/12 My Personal Weatherman AKA Taikan Yoho (Japan Sat Gaga) 8 eps
Still Coming August 2023
8/19 Love in Translation (Thai Sat One31) ? eps - Two strangers start working in a cafe together.
8/19 I Feel You Linger in the Air (Thai Sat Gaga) 12 eps - The time travel historical romance many of us have been waiting for.
8/20 My Universe series (Thai Sun iQIYI) 24 episodes - This is sampler pack BL, 12 pairs, each pair gets 2 eps, not sure on the order they’ll drop. Known couples include EarthBank from Destiny Seeker and KaownahTurbo from Love Stage!!!, mostly fresh faces otherwise. Jane to direct several.
8/22 Kisseki: Dear to Me formerly known as Miracle (Taiwan Tues ????) 13 eps - From screenwriter Lin Pei Yu (We Best Love, H3: Trapped) features a student doctor forced to take care of a gangster. I love the premise and like the writer, Viki or Gaga will get this one.
8/24 Man Suang (Thailand movie, domestic cinema release) - historical drama about Thai burlesque with KP’s MileApo. Tong is in this one too?
8/? Why R U? (Korean remake) is supposed to be out this month, filming started in sept 22. I find everything about this hilarious. I mean if Korea remakes it, we lose all the sexy and then... would we have a story at all? No we would not. Not even for six short eps. It’d be like one of those mesh shopping bags.
Oh yeah, Only Friends is coming.
2023 forthcoming BL master post (see comments, some are inaccurate, NOT KEPT UPDATED)
THIS WEEK’S BEST MOMENTS
Hidden Agenda. I love them.
Public claiming with the waist grab maneuver! A true hero.
But I think we can all agree that THIS is the hero all love triangles deserve. (both Laws)
(Last week)
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Riff + "I don't really know how to dance..." || "It's never too late to learn" ?? x
I rewatched WSS today and ngl it feels good to return to writing Riff
Still accepting blurb requests! - Open to new characters!!
Fluff 5 - " I don't really know how to dance..." || "It's never too late to learn"
"You know, normally people actually... you know dance at a dance, girly girl."
Y/N smiled shyly at her friend. Riff had come over to where she had huddled herself into the corner of the gym, hoping to let the eyes of her peers pass over her. She should've known Riff wouldn't be able to do that, considering it was he who had spent the better part of the last few weeks trying to convince her to take a night off of work to attend the dance.
"I'm just having a drink," Y/N lifted the cup of punch to emphasise her point. Something fluttered in her chest at the slight eye roll it garnered from Riff, who folded his arms and leaned against the wall beside her.
"Well I'm sure by now you're nice and hydrated and ready to take the dance floor by storm, right doll?" He teased, eyebrows raising.
Y/N chuckled, forcing herself to look away from his eyes, determined not to get caught out staring. It was just... it was rare to see Riff in a state of such - for lack of a better term - cleanliness. Y/N was used to seeing her friend covered in paint or dust from his scuffles with both his fellow Jets and the Sharks.
And the jacket he was wearing this evening didn't have a single hole ripped into it. A shocking feat, if you were to ask Y/N.
Basically, what she was trying to say was that Riff cleaned up well. And Y/N wasn't really sure how to respond to that.
"I don't have a partner," Y/N denied, pretending to find something particularly interesting about the wood patterning of the gym floor, tracing the lines with the toe of her shoe. Anything to avoid the disbelieving look Riff was directing towards her.
"That's a load of horseshit," Riff finally burst out with a scoff. Y/N risked a glance at his blue eyes just in time to watch him roll them yet again. "I'm right here, girly girl. Aren't I?"
And... yes. Y/N supposed Riff was right there. For almost a month now she and her childhood friend had been skirting the borders between friendship and... something more. Stemming from a night of too much stolen beer, where they had ended up stealing away from the Jets - not overly secretively, if their whoops and hollers were anything to go by at the time - and Riff had pressed her up against a wall in an alleyway and-
Well... Y/N could feel the heat crawling up her neck at the memory and she suppressed a shiver.
Since then, things had changed between them. Riff would walk her home from work more often, he'd pull her onto his lap when they were talking, he'd wind an arm around her waist if he thought she was getting a little too comfortable with any of the other Jets.
A couple more stolen kisses here and there, too. But Riff hadn't said anything. Hadn't done anything to indicate that he actually wanted something more than... the casual-more-than-friendship thing that they had going on.
At least, that had been true up until he had started harassing her about coming to the dance. And if the intense look he was giving her was anything to go by, Y/N was getting the feeling that had been Riff trying to make it.. something official.
Though, Y/N had apparently taken too long to formulate a response to Riff's blatant invite. Because the leader was clearing his throat, pushing himself more upright and it was he avoiding her eyes now. Y/N could have sworn she saw a dusting of pink across his cheeks.
"Or - I mean I'm sure any of the Jets would dance with you if you asked. No need to have one partner."
Riff went as though to move away, but Y/N reached out to catch her fingers in his sleeve before he could get too far.
"I didn't mean it like that," she whispered. Riff cocked his head to the side, questioning. "I do want to dance with you, Jet Boy. I promise. It's just... I don't really know how to dance?" She offered, forcing herself to meet Riff's eyes.
A slow smirk made its way across his face, his eyes crinkling at the edges as he showed his amusement. And then Riff plucked the cup out of her hand, placing it on a nearby table and presenting Y/N with his hand in a dramatic flourish that had Y/N grinning.
"It's never too late to learn, girly girl."
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Hannibal rewatch and Baldur's Gate 3 ramblings
I recently re-watched the first season of Hannibal after almost 8 years and since I’m now deep into another fandom (BG3) I analyzed some of the themes of the show and how parts of it could tie in with the story of the game, particularly when it comes to the Dark Urge.
I’m also doing a review because why the hell not. I divided the text into sections for convenience, so if you want to read only the review or are exclusively interested in my speculating ramblings on BG3 you can easily do that.
It’s a long one so let’s start.
REVIEW
THIS REVIEW IS NOT SPOILER FREE AND WILL GO INTO GREAT DETAILS ABOUT THE TWISTS AND PLOT POINTS OF THE SHOW.
If you didn’t watch it and you like thriller/crime/horror please do yourself a favor and watch this show now!
I’ll start by saying season one, to me, is almost perfection. It’s 13 very well crafted and acted episodes and almost none feel like filler (almost but we’ll get to it). The crime of the week structure is integrated with the horizontal themes of the season seamlessly and the story avoids exploring too many parallel plots, making the theming very cohesive.
I remember watching this show for the first time and finishing season 1 in about 2 to 3 days, but I’d never think the same would’ve happened a second time. The first 5 episodes had me in a clutch from the start. Every character is fleshed out and extremely well written, the acting is impeccable, the writing is phenomenal and the visual, even when getting symbolic, never seem gratuitous or nonsensical in their use of analogies and dream-like visions.
The photography is also phenomenal, with great use of contrast that makes the image and scene clear even though it's set in the dark or at night.
If I had to rate the season I think I’d definitely give it a 9/10, and the 9 is only because of two small things that I figured I’d get out of the way first:
(I must remember whoever is reading this that these are my opinions, they don’t mean to offend anyone else differing opinion. You’ll see what I mean in a second.)
Alana Bloom x Will Graham is forced, comes out of nowhere, and makes Will act out of character most of the times.
I’m not getting into ship-fighting, this is not about shipping, I like Hannigram but I have no dog in this fight so this is totally not about it. Episode 8 is great, it has one of the best kills in the whole season and Will deteriorating stability makes for great lines and visuals, other than a lot of tension since he can no longer be predictable and ends up disrupting Hannibal plans.
And though I could attribute the way he acts towards Alana as something he does because of this deteriorating mental state, it doesn’t really feel like it. He seems very present during those scenes and acts weirdly romantic for the reclusive stray-collector, whose primary hobby is fishing and who’s been plagued by visions of death in the past episodes.
I would have rather see them to grow more of a non-romantric connection that may or may not have become romantic in later seasons. It all seems a bit rushed imo.
I also know they are setting up the Alana x Will x Hannibal. Which I’ll be honest I don’t remember liking the first time I watched it...but we’ll see.
2. Episodes 9 and 11 slow the show and kind of drag the pace.
Episodes 9. The totem of bodies is a very striking and memorable visual, but the crime in itself is very bland and the killer only gets a 5 minute scene towards the end which is anticlimactic and kinda too much tell with too little show. It’s honestly a shame because the murders in the previous episodes were very well crafted and paced. This one, not so much. I understand the need to connect the themes of “legacy” and “family” with Abigail’s actions but I feel like there could have been better ways to do that in previous episodes.
Episodes 11. I loved the whole Chesapeake Ripper fake-out, but I’ll be honest I don’t think I needed a whole other episode of Abel Gideon’s story. Didn’t really care for the plot of this and the pace was a little too slow. Good things about this episode are the ending with Hannibal at his most manipulative, and the fact that it starts Chilton’s comedic chain of misfortunes– which cracked me up the first time I watched the show because come on!! this guy is awful and can’t catch a break, you love to see it.
Now that the “bad” is out of the way let’s talk about the good, which is honestly everything else.
Episode 1
Banger of a pilot. Everything for the rest of the show is set up in only 42 minutes if you can believe that. Characters are fleshed out, themes are placed, conflicts are started. By the end of the episode all you want is MORE. I have very little else to say other than the pacing of this one should honestly be studied, a lot of modern series would need the lesson imo.
Episode 2
Interesting case with a lot of great scenes that reinforce the characters and their relationships. You get a first glance at how campy? the show can be, which is honestly something I love, I’m kinda tired of the “realistic to the point of boredom” trend I’ve been seeing lately. Freddie Lounds is properly introduced as the disrupting force she is and we get a jumpscare that made me curse. Sorry, did I forget to mention I’m watching Hannibal and I cannot stand horror? Lmao
Episode 3
LOVE this episode, the way this show makes you feel powerless as you watch the events unfold knowing full well what is happening and who is responsible...amazing! I love Abigail’s character and the very innocent and pristine way she is portrayed when you know later on the truth will come out is chilling.
Episode 4
I remember how grim I found this episode the first time and the feeling returned the second time around. Hated the killer with every fiber of my being and the fact that she kinda looks like Catherine Tate made me die a little. Also the scene of Hannibal making himself a family through gaslighting and creative use of drugs and lies was amazing.
Episode 5
I loved this crime and the way the episode paces the killings. The angel symbology was great, I’m a sucker for catholic and religious themes tied into vicious crimes. The series also introduces Bella, Jack’s wife, which I’ll be honest I don’t remember having a good ending...I don't remember exactly how, but I know I will cry.
Episode 6
Favorite episode by far, the tension in the flashback scene is palpable and when you see Miriam looking at the sketch with the silhouette of Hannibal pacing towards her in the background AAAHGGG- RUN Miriam OMG! This is the episode where you realize how absolutely scary Hannibal’s physicality can be. Mads Mikkelsen is 1,83 (5ft 11) but he feels like a giant in those scenes, like you can do shit about it.
Episode 7
The episode’s case is a botched transplant one and it’s just okay, nothing too spectacular, but the way this series makes me hungry should be concerning, since I just watched Hannibal kill and butcher people who slightly wronged him to make a feast out of them. I’m sorry, whoever is directing the shooting of the food is doing a good job, okay?
Episode 8
My second favorite episode yay! I love this kill because it’s so over the top. Also the visual of a person played like a cello is haunting just as much as the sound they decided to give it. “He had to open you up to get a decent sound out of you.” okay Will go off?!?! A bit sad they took this murder from Hannibal since I believe it was his in the books, but the end fight was worth it (though when Tobias started swinging his impromptu cello string weapon I did cackle because omfg calm down)
Episode 9
See section above
Episode 10
I shat myself watching this episode with all the horror vibes I’m dying please, I’m watching this through my fingers like a baby. I did love this episode though, and the final twist of Hannibal going to such lengths to be sure he leaves NO ONE behind is terrifying. Dr. Sutcliffe even agreed with him and didn’t show signs of wanting to betray or rat him out, and yet in the big scheme Hannibal still found it better to kill him. Scary stuff.
Episode 11
See section above
Episode 12-13
Putting these together because they are the finale and are closely linked to each other. There is no real “crime of the week”, though Georgia Madchen dies at the start of episode 12 and Abigail...dies at the start of episode 13. Will continuously declining psyche is very well portrayed, you really feel powerless with him as his brain keeps betraying him over and over at the worse possible times. Also Hannibal fake-empathy is so uncomfortable to me...knowing the lengths he’d go to manipulate the situation after seeing all the “behind the scenes” is chilling. All in all it’s a good finale though it really doesn’t feel like one. By the end Will managed to see Hannibal’s true colors, but I don’t think he’ll fully understand what he’s fighting against until he actually sees Hannibal in action, so it does feel inconclusive in a way. We do get Hannibal funny naked fursona is all its glory though so, big happy for me!
Now let’s get in my current fixation and tie in some of the themes of Hannibal with Baldur’s Gate 3. YAY!
BALDUR’S GATE 3 – Dark Urges, Bad Dreams and Worse Influences
Let’s get something out of the way first.
The Dark Urge is a very flexible and versatile character which is mostly – if not completely– shaped by the player. We get to decide if they refuse the Urge, with the bittersweet realization they still took all those lives and will have to deal with that guilt. OR we could make them machines of slaughter and death, embracing their father’s plan for them to be the killer they were made to become.
There are other variations of this and from what I’ve seen many Durges have very different characteristics depending on how the player interpreted and played the game.
This to say, all of the following dissertations on BG3 and the themes of Hannibal are my personal view of MY Durge or the way I see the character in general, which is extremely personal and could crash with someone else’s interpretation or headcanon. Keep that in mind while reading, if you see me using absolutes or if I forget an “imo” at the end of a sentence, remember this is ALL In my opinion, none of this is to be considered as a general and all-encompassing statement for every Durge out there.
That said, you’ll be surprised to know in my interpretation the Dark Urge isn’t Hannibal, what’s funny is that the Dark Urge isn’t Will either.
Durge is both characters at the same time, and depending where they are in their journey, this may change.
In the case of Will, towards the end of the series you get a more “start of the game” Durge. The memory loss, the confusing thoughts, the haunting dreams and then this weird hellish creature (Sceleritas Fel) guiding them. By this point Durge is still a victim of their circumstances, they can’t really grasp who or what they are and their mind is in complete shambles.
I can see a Resist!Durge in this scenario, someone completely horrified by their actions starting to question who they are, what they did, and if they can ever change. This point in the game isn’t spelled out as much, the narrator often refers to it but the real extent of psychological damage a Resist!Durge must face is left completely to the player’s interpretation, that’s why I think Will is such a great starting point to understand and visualize the character of Durge from a distant POV.
With Hannibal you get a more pre-tadpole pre-Orin-meddling Durge. Someone who knows what they’re doing and how to get what they want. I personally never saw my own Durge as this calculating, something in the feral way the Urge gets to the character in game made Hannibal a tad too composed to fully be an inspiration for Durge, but I’ve also seen other people Durges as cool and collected killers, and the comparison in that case works really well.
Another interesting characteristic of Hannibal we can see in Durge is the twisted way he thinks in relation to others. Hannibal calls himself Will’s friend, and I believe he’s genuine in his affection since the way he helps Will is in done in earnest.
This helping though, it’s monstrous in all sense. Hannibal lies, literally gaslights Will, meddles with his head and denies him medical help. He manipulates him into killing, only to watch what unfolds simply because he needs someone who understands him. By dragging Will deeper into his world and making him a killer, Hannibal cultivates what he perceives as Will’s true nature and potential, making the man a suitable friend for himself.
It speaks to Hannibal narcissism that he would consider helping someone as making them more like him. But then again that’s also why Hannibal is so drawn towards Will, because he thinks differently and he IS different from him. He doesn’t have the same amount of interest or even respect for someone like Tobias, who’s probably the most Hannibal-like killer we get to see in season 1.
He needs the challenge, he needs to feel in control. And ultimately, though not in an usual sense, Hannibal needs a friend. He is lonely.
This works a lot for Durge in the sense that they may or may not corrupt people around them. As a player we get the choice and power to influence how companions act and react, and this kind of duality of “I like them, I want to help them” and “I want to make them like me” is a good motivation to give a Durge who may, for example, ascent Astarion, or turn Shadowheart more towards Shar, or give Gale a power complex (more so than he already has) ect.
BONUS! And then came Durgetash
In episode 1 Hannibal visits Will and brings him breakfast. While they chat in a honestly beautifully lit scene, this exchange happens.
Hannibal: You know, Will, I think Uncle Jack sees you as a fragile little teacup. The finest china, used only for special guests.
Will: How do you see me?
Hannibal: The mongoose I want under the house when the snakes slither by.
Did I mention I love Durgetash? Did I mention I go completely feral over unhealthy dynamics and specifically this kind of dynamic?
“The mongoose I want under the house when the snakes slither by.” is an amazing line for Gortash because I do believe the reason he wanted Durge to side with him was that Durge was extremely good at being undetected, and even more so skilled at killing the right target at the right time.
I love the idea of Gortash using Durge as a shield/weapon, and Durge using Gortash to economically sustain and socially shield Bhaal’s cult. I love to think their relationship was born because they were useful to each other and that in this completely selfish ecosystem they somehow found company.
Because I’m sure Durge pushed back. I’m sure they realized they were being used and didn’t like it one bit, and Gortash kept Durge around even though they may pose a threat, for the same reason Hannibal keeps running circles around Will. Gortash needs a challenge. Being head of Bane’s cult means that other than his God, no one else is above him, and I think a man who’s been fighting his whole life to gain control would feel a bit lost when this control is automatically given to him without a fight.
In the same way I think Durge would yearn for something more, something different than what they’re stuck with, which is a dying cult forced to hide beneath the city, and a jealous and over-zealous sister who I’m sure tries to kill them once a week. I think they would get pulled in by the promises Gortash would make. To rule together, above ground, for once not having to hide, getting back the power Durge feels like belongs to them.
The similarities I found between these characters are way more than these but I think I’ll have to make a part 2 of this once I’m done re-watching season 2. I’m aware the series has been out for a while and I’m sure people already made way more interesting and in-depth analysis. I still hope you liked my little morning ramble that turned in a full on essay on the subject.
Thank you for reading!
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Why hello! I don’t see why we can’t keep the Top 5 trend alive in the new year so…
From one chronic rewatcher to another, what are your top 5 most rewatched scenes?
Sorry this took so long, @wen-kexing-apologist! I'm just now getting back to posting a bit more regularly after the holidays got me totally off track, and this question brought up a lot of Thoughts so I've been chipping away at it for weeks.
So, um, this is the best question ever. Except it’s the meanest question ever, because I'm terrible at choosing between things like this.
I am a massive rewatcher, whether you’re talking about whole series, episodes, or scenes. Scenes especially. Why watch an entire thing when you can go right for the best part/s and watch them over and over? This is also one of the reasons I have way too many gifs saved on my phone.
I thought about coming up with a list that was based more on what would make a good post, and/or what would make me look less uncool, than what I actually rewatch the most. But I couldn't bring myself to do it. I wanted to be honest instead. So at the risk of seeming even more like an Utsukare obsessive and overall one-trick pony, I'm going to talk about the five scenes I think I've actually rewatched the most, even though four of them are from my perennial obsession.
The four Utsukushii Kare scenes are in the order they occur in the series, not from most rewatched to least. Then I'll talk about a fifth scene from another series that I've been pretty vocal about appreciating, and I'll mention some runners-up.
“who do you like, him or me?”
If gif posts are any indication—gifs are the smallest increment of rewatching, after all—some of my favorite scenes to rewatch aren’t that popular with other rewatchers. This one gets gif’ed, sure, as you can see. But it's not as popular a choice for this kind of treatment as a lot of other Utsukare scenes.
There are a few reasons this one is a favorite of mine. One is that I tend to like some jealousy in my romance. I have my theories about why it’s so appealing to me specifically, but I’m not entirely sure how to explain it. I also love a good aggressive shirt-grab. (Utsukare certainly delivers these regularly.) But the main reason I keep coming back to this moment is that in just a few sentences, a bunch of character development happens. Well, I guess it would be more correct to call it character revelation. This is the first time we really see this side of Kiyoi, and in that respect, it foreshadows the big perspective shift that’s just around the corner. The viewer picks up a lot of hints that Kiyoi has feelings for Hira prior to this point (even if Hira remains stubbornly oblivious to them). We’ve even seen Kiyoi kiss Hira already (even if he did push him to the ground a split second later). But this is the first time we see such direct evidence of the strength of his feelings for Hira. Kiyoi is so unguarded for this brief moment. The mask slips and what’s underneath is total desperation.
Hira, of course, misses the real meaning of what Kiyoi is saying despite how obvious it is. Which means it's also the viewers’ first indication of how intensely Hira clings to his favored view of reality in the face of evidence to the contrary.
"sorry I like you"
This is another scene where so much is happening in a short span, all because Kiyoi got desperate enough to talk about all of the unspoken bullshit between him and Hira. As usual, Hira doesn’t get it. But he might be starting to.
This scene is pretty rough watching in some ways. When this episode first aired and it ended with this scene followed by each of them on their own and feeling terrible, I was a bit of a mess. It was silly of me to worry. There were plenty of favorable signs in the preview for the finale. I knew the novels had a happy ending. But it was just so sad and so real that it got to me anyway. But I also enjoyed it, because for an obsessive analyzer like myself, seeing these important relationship dynamics finally come to the surface in such concentrated form was fascinating. It was also a relief to see things out in the open.
Both leads turn in such great performances here. Yagi Yusei really steps up. It’s even more impressive given his relative lack of acting experience. His performance is so raw and affecting. If he had been less vulnerable, Kiyoi’s point about how contradictory Hira’s actions and statements are could seem like a kind of “gotcha” moment designed to win an argument--like he was pointing out that Hira was hypocritical in a bid to score points. Instead, Yagi shows viewers how deeply being caught in this double bind with Hira has hurt Kiyoi.
Hagiwara Riku, in contrast, portrays Hira as so confused that he’s basically dissociated. Hira has a really strong tendency to see the world in whatever way suits him, regardless of the truth. Kiyoi’s words force Hira to set his usual narrative aside and see how much clinging to it is hurting the person he claims to love, and it throws him off to such an extent that he seems to be experiencing a form of psychomotor slowing. He looks like he’s moving through molasses. He can’t form sentences, or at times, even words. His normally expressive eyes seem like they’ve shrunk to half their normal size. He’s really come unmoored, and it shows. The more I think about Hagiwara’s work in this scene the more impressed I am by the insight and physical control he had to bring to bear in order for it to work.
Of course, if I watched this scene on its own habitually, this level of blorbo distress might take a toll on my mental health. Which is why I usually follow it up with…
"I'm not going to kiss you for a while"
I’m busting out the bullet points for this one because otherwise it might take me all day.
This scene works on so many levels!
Well, the main ones are:
Relationship progress! Character growth!
The whole kiss fakeout thing is hot
Hira gets some payback and frankly, he deserves it
The other highlights for me are:
Even after repeated viewings and knowing very well what happened in the story, I still feel kind of relieved to see that Kiyoi came back, especially right after rewatching the scene prior to this one.
When Kiyoi asks Hira why he thinks he came home and he says, “to punch me?" he does it in the most weirdly cute way.
Kiyoi’s absolutely lethal snotty face/voice when he response to the possibility of punching Hira with “maybe” is so perfect that it's hard not to think that Hira might have a point about this whole King deal.
Hira apologizes and it’s actually sincere and not just some knee-jerk bullshit.
The way Hira closes his eyes and waits for Kiyoi to smack him is a rare case of him actually letting go and putting himself in Kiyoi’s hands instead of his usual topping-from-the-bottom thing.
More about the kiss fakeout:
Hagiwara does a great job of telegraphing Hira’s expectant response. In scenes where two characters are going to kiss but get interrupted, it's not uncommon to see a kind of hesitation or other subtle signal that the actor knows the kiss isn't going to happen. But there's none of that here. Hagiwara even does this sort of gulp/swallow thing like he thinks the kiss is going to start any moment.
When the kiss doesn't materialize, he nails an absolutely pitifiul sad puppy expression.
Kiyoi’s vulnerable voice and facial expression when he explains about the kissing boundary thing is so sincere and cute. Could he be any more different from season 1 episode 1 Kiyoi?
I’ve written about how the no-kissing-until-Hira-takes-Kiyoi-seriously policy might seem like a controlling move or an inappropriate ultimatum to some viewers but it actually better resembles what Harriet Lerner calls a “bottom line,” resulting in a boundary that is not only justifiable but downright healthy…or almost healthy, at least. It's a bit on the extreme side, and the fakeout part remains a little mean. But they're understandable given what Hira has put Kiyoi through.
Here's my s2e4 writeup that includes that discussion:
“sorry, Kiyoi”
So, I’ve already written quite a bit about this scene. In one instance, I wrote a propaganda blurb when it was in bl brackets’s kiss bracket.
Here's the original blurb I wrote for @bl-bracket when I nominated the scene, as used in the post where people voted:
Hira and Kiyoi Final Kiss: "It’s an important plot point (because Kiyoi has said he won’t kiss Hira until he stops putting him on a pedestal and now Hira is making progress on that front, and because Hira hasn’t initiated physical stuff in the past, and initiating is itself a way of treating Kiyoi more like an equal). It’s also just a really well-acted and effectively shot kiss, and as a result it communicates so much about the characters and shows a side of their relationship not portrayed elsewhere in the show. And of course, it’s super hot. That includes the kind of weird but suggestive details that are typical of the show, like Hira passing candy/candy spit to Kiyoi through the kiss and then switching into this really distinct sexy voice that makes it sound almost as if he’s changing personalities."
And here's an additional, longer propaganda post I wrote to lobby for votes:
One of the points I tried to make in that post about why this scene is special was that it really does represent a leap forward in how both leads portrayed intimacy in this series. Prior to this scene, viewers had seen a dead fish kiss on graduation day, a more intense makeout situation in the season 1 finale that was shot so impressionistically that it was often hard to tell exactly what the actors were doing, and some interrupted kisses earlier in season 2. And then this happened. Here's a quote from what I wrote previously:
Personally, despite being a fan of both actors and thinking they did amazing work on the series, until I saw this scene I really didn't know if they had it in them, if they could actually pull off something that felt real. But they brought it. They're not holding back. As opposed to more stylized kisses you see in BLs and other romance dramas sometimes, I found it very naturalistic, like the way a couple of real kids in their early 20s would kiss.
So, yeah. I thought it showed real growth on the part of the actors as individuals and as a pairing/team.
This scene also caused me to dig deeper, with the help of some very knowledgeable mutuals, into what “persistent” and “cute” mean in a sexual context in Japan. My main post about that is below.
Noticing Hagiwara's use of Hira's "persistent voice" also helped me to notice something else when I checked out his other work, and that is that he often uses his voice in very different ways in different roles. I recently watched a drama he did before Utsukare and I was struck by this all over again. Again, it shows a really impressive degree of control.
And now, for our one non-Utsukare scene in the top 5:
"I'm trying to seduce you"
I also wrote a nomination blurb about this scene for the kiss bracket. (If you're seeing a pattern here, well, yeah, it's a pattern.) The original voting post here but I'll go ahead and quote it in its entirety since it's pretty short.
This kiss is ridiculously hot and is a culmination of so much that’s been simmering beneath the surface for the entire show up to that point. Togawa has been pining so hard for Nozue for so long that when Nozue gives him a glimmer of hope and then tries to leave, everything he’s been bottling up comes surging out. Kimura Tatsunari exudes a level of desperate lustfulness in this scene that’s as intense as anything I’ve seen in any genre. We’re all familiar with the idea that people look at a person’s mouth when they want to kiss them, but Togawa looks at Nozue’s mouth like he dreams about it every night and sees it every time he closes his eyes. No wonder he feels a need to stick his thumb in there. Takeda Kouhei also communicates so much in this scene. Nozue is shocked and confused but he can’t help but respond to Togawa’s kisses. You can see the gears turning—and refusing to turn—as he tries to make sense of what’s happening—and keeps kissing Togawa back even though he still can’t process it. Togawa’s declaration, “I’ve been trying to seduce you, with everything I have,” is the cherry on top.
There's another bit of subtle physical communication here that I find interesting, and I think you might too, @wen-kexing-apologist. Just recently I've been thinking about the meaning, in kissing scenes, of what for lack of a better term I'll call the head-bonk. By this I mean the thing where one person puts their forehead against the other person's, often with at least a tiny bit of an impact that renders it a bonk rather than, like, just touching them together. Togawa kisses Nozue once, then a second time, and then goes in for a third that Nozue avoids by sinking toward the floor. The third kiss doesn't happen, but when Togawa starts to initiate it he does an absolutely sublime head-bonk. I'm still figuring out what I think about the head-bonk thing. All I know is that, from my vantage point, that little move on Kimura's part practically screams "I've been holding this back for five goddamn years and I can't wait one more second to kiss this person."
Runners-up and honorable mentions:
Semantic Error:
Their first kiss in the restaurant after Jae Young calls Sang Woo "hyung" - I have watched this so much that if I had been asked for my top 6 this would have been #6.
Jae Young demonstrating the features of the "free trial"
Minato’s Laundromat (season 1, of course):
Shin freaking out about Minato being alone with Hanabusa
The washing machine kabedon
The “smelling the sheets” scene
Kiseki (I just watched this for the first time a week or so ago and I have already done so much scene-rewatching it's ridiculous):
That incredibly angsty sex scene with Ai Di and a drunk Chen Yi, you know the one
Chen Yi's confession to a physically restrained Ai Di
The scene at Ai Di's bar where Chen Yi puts him in a double kabedon
Ai Di and Chen Yi's conversation after Ai Di gets out of prison, where he says he fucked Chen Yi "just for fun" and offers to let him do stuff to him as "revenge"
Ai Di trying to scare Chen Yi by stroking his chest and asking him if he wants to "play" and then getting weirded out when Chen Yi asks, "What if I say yes?"
Jheruei and Zongyi's first real kiss and subsequent A+ lap-sitting moment
And as a bonus, here's my most-rewatched non-QL moment:
There's a scene I'm obsessed with in Something in the Rain where Jun Hui comes to Jin A's home and sees her ex-boyfriend there with her and her parents, lobbying to get back together and manhandling her, and he reacts exactly the way you'd expect as someone to who's in love with Jin A. It is tattooed on my brain. If I ever learn to make gifs I am gif'ing the fuck out of that scene.
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Late top 5 ask because I just thought of it: 5 shows that you are always down to rewatch
What a great question that is also such a mean and incredibly evil thing to ask me, wen-kexing-apologist, Chronic Rewatcher lmfao
So fun fact I have seen KinnPorsche 14 times, Our Flag Means Death 11 times, The Old Guard 11 times, Heartstopper 11 times, The Eclipse probably 6 times, Bad Buddy and ITSAY 4 times, etc, etc, etc. And those are counting all the times I have watched a show all the way through. This is not counting the number of times I have actively gone back to watch specific episodes or specific scenes.
See the problem is sometimes I hyperfixate and then I just have to watch it until it is out of my system, sometimes an OST pops in to my head and then I get the urge to watch the show again, and sometimes I agree to edit the transcripts for the backlog of @the-conversation-pod and @bengiyo and @shortpplfedup start talking about a show and I'm like "ahhh good times! I should rewatch that!"
So you can imagine the stress I am under. I'll have to do this by category
Show I Am Constantly Rewatching: Bed Friend
gif by @perths
I know what you may be thinking, and yes you are correct I am in this rewatch for Uea's emotional journey. Uea is my sweet summer child, I love him, I have adopted him in to my family, his happiness is my happiness and I love love love watching him go from a quiet, reserved, unhappy character who keeps getting put in unfair situations through no fault of his own in to this confident, vibrant, happy person who is on his way towards healing. Often times it can be hard for me to pick A Favorite thing; a favorite character, a favorite scene because there are so. many. good. ones. But I am constantly, and I mean constantly rewatching the scene in Episode 8 where Uea tells King about his past. I have lost count of how many times I've seen it, no even kidding I watched that scene before I went to bed just last week. I will always always be down to watch that show because I love seeing how far my boy is able to grow with just a little bit of love, care, and therapy.
Show I Would Rewatch for an Instant Mood Boost: If It's With You
gif by @jimmysea
I have a difficult time understanding/feeling emotion in my body unless I abstract it in to fiction. So when I experience strong emotions it is typically when something super happy or super tragic happens on screen, in a book, during my D&D game, etc. One of my absolute favorite things is when something makes me so happy that my body is no longer able to contain it and I have to do the Neurodivergent Hand Flappies(TM). I think I spent 80% of this show grinning so hard it hurt my face and doing the Neurodivergent Hand Flappies because it just...they made me so happy. Amane is so sweet, and he deserves happiness, and he is getting his happiness and he's just full of sunshine and I already rewatched this show like immediately after it finished. This show joins my This Could Fix Me list.
Show I Would Be Down to Rewatch for Emotional Catharsis: Eternal Yesterday
gif by @duckflyfly
I have not rewatched this show...yet. But I want to, and I know that I will eventually. I can only imagine that it is sadder and more evil the second time around. I cried soooo hard over this show. But it is beautiful, and it is healing, and the pain is a good type of aching pain that comes with coming to terms with grief. With acknowledging grief. With finding where the beauty and peace lie within death and memory, and the way its claws dig in to you and leave you changed forever. Ghosts can be warm, and this show makes me warm despite it all.
Show I Would Be Down to Rewatch for Content: I Told Sunset About You/I Promised You the Moon
gif by @thii-nii
I think I am in @shortpplfedup's camp about how you find new things to think about every time you watch this show. I actually desperately, desperately own I Promised You the Moon several rewatches because I have seen ITSAY four times at this point and IPYTM once. I am currently rewatching IPYTM with a friend who is seeing it for the first time, so that should help. But the first time I watched this show I was unable to function to notice anything, and it wasn't until the third time I'd watched ITSAY when I was rewatching it to prepare for the podcast panel, that I finally was able to form any level of coherent analytical thought to it. So I would rewatch this at any point just to see what more I could pull out of it.
Show I Would Be Down to Rewatch But Haven't Yet: 180 Degree Longitude Passes Through Us
gif by @dingyuxi
Bold, based on how intense of a reaction I had to this show, I know. But this was one of my favorites, I never wrote anything about it because I was too busy having a literal mental breakdown over it, one that was so bad I almost had to bail on the entire show with like...20 minutes left of it, and I originally nixed my plan to show it to a friend. BUT I have watched the specific scene that did me in (and only that scene) and it went over fine once I knew to expect it so I do want to watch the whole thing again. I have a friend who I have been forcing to watch BL shows I liked and I watch them with her, and this is on the list. However, I am currently running her through I Promised You The Moon and What Did You Eat Yesterday? Season 2 so this show is still quite a ways out from a rewatch because I am not a total monster and want to give her some modicum of emotional break between those two shows and 180 Degree.
Bonus:
Show I Would Never Rewatch: Enchante
I hate this show truly an unreasonable amount. I hate Theo so much oh my fucking god. I refuse to watch this again and I'm mad that I finished it.
ASK ME MY TOP 5 OF ANYTHING BL
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Some Personal Favorite BL Moments of 2023
this is inspired by @lurkingshan's post, thank you for that 😊
Best Show
be my favorite, hands down. this show hooked me right from the very beginning, and each week it kept outdoing itself. the kindest, most compassionate storytelling mixed with some absolutely amazing character journeys and a strong message at its heart, bmf will stay with me forever (and not only because i managed to snatch one of the utterly gorgeous box sets for my collection). 12/10 puffball music boxes
Best Scene
alan and wen pre- and post-breakup at the start of episode 5 of moonlight chicken. i've rewatched these nine minutes more times than i can count. both first and mix do some incredible acting here, and it's such an utter joy to watch. 5/5 crying firsts sliding down a wall
The Scene That Came For My Life The Most
look, i've talked about only friends episode 6 [4/4] before. you all already know that i desire mew carnally for what he did with that audio tape. i have also rewatched this scene an embarrassing amount of times. 96/69 illicit sex tapes
Most Rewatchable Show and Best Main Couple
this one goes to a boss and a babe. i have already rewatched this show twice this year, and i love it more on every single rewatch. i regularly lose my mind about how much i love this silly little show and start waxing poetic about how much this love story means to me, how much i adore gun and cher's weirdness, their communication, their commitment, their gentleness, their mutual respect, the way they help each other and heal each other, the way they make each other feel safe and loved, which my friends from the bl besties server can attest to. maybe one day, i'll put all of my ramblings into a coherent format, but for now please trust that this show is absolutely wonderful and extremely special to me. 1000/10 gaymer friends sleepovers
Best Premise (That Was Utterly Ruined By The Show)
i've got to say dangerous romance, although step by step comes in at a close second. after the second episode of dr, i was out here writing hundreds of words worth of meta, and then... well, then the show became what it unfortunately is, now. i still want to see the show that i was promised (a thriller about two poor brothers who get into hot water because of money issues and end up having to turn to crime to survive, all while the younger brother slowly falls in love with the biggest bully at school, and over the course of the show the bully needs to learn to become a better person and help sailom overcome the trust issues he should have had from growing up constantly threatened and sometimes physically abused by members of the mafia.) -20/10 stupid fucking windmills for ruining something that could have been amazing
Best Side Couple
tiwpor, you will always be famous to me. my school president itself might just have given us crumbs, but i licked those tiny crumbs right off the floor with delight, and when our skyy 2 made it canon, i lost my entire mind. i could not have asked for more. 2/2 couples t-shirts
Best Date
yang and phumjai on their practice date in episode 4 of love in translation was probably the sweetest thing that happened on any bl in 2023. in the later episodes, they had many more beautiful moments together as well as some incredibly amazing physical intimacy (plus, in the extended iqiyi cut, one hell of a foreplay scene), but their sweet date before they had even confessed their feelings has stayed with me. 11/10 slices of pandan
Best Beach Scene(s)
never let me go wins this one. no other show was as devoted to showing off their beautiful beach locations as nlmg this year. watching this show made me yearn for the sea. 1/1 tattoo of your boyfriend's name
Best Rooftop Scene
despite the stiff competition in the form of bmf and cherry magic thailand, last twilight has this one in the bag. the pain, the pining, the heartbreak, the complicated feelings, the desperate kiss... they even lampshaded this trope in the dialogue. stellar scene. 12/10 sunflowers
Best Sensuality
we've had a lot of high heat bls this year, some of them still ongoing, and since billy infamously said "a lot and deeply", i feel like the next episode of the sign might just blow all of our minds. i'm not awarding a best sex scene here so i won't have to eat my words in a few days—however, i feel confident in saying that when it comes to raw sensuality, no one is going to beat ray and sand in only friends this year, no matter how hard the characters on pit babe, playboyy and the sign might be trying. truly, nobody embodies sensual attraction like first and khaotung do. 69/10 sausages that represent blowjobs
Best Minor Character That Stole The Show
gotta agree with the masses here and say nawin laws of attraction. what a guy. every day i miss him. ∞/10 unhinged ex boyfriends
Best Viewing Experience
this is not bl, but it might as well be: midnight museum still feels like a fever dream, i have no idea what the plot even was, i understood maybe 10% of what was happening at any given moment, and i've never had more fun watching anything. this truly is the show of all time. 5/3 roles played by gun atthaphan
Wildest GMMTV Moment
also not a bl, but the piploy pissing in the car scene as an act of revenge in wednesday club would go down in history, if, you know, people had actually watched this show. what can i even say. 3/3 gratuitous pissing scenes
Most Anticipated Show Of 2024
i just had to find a way to mention my golden blood in this post. i am yearning for this show with an intensity i cannot describe. i literally need to see joss bridal carrying gawin as much as possible, it is on the baseline of my hierarchy of needs. no matter whether this turns out to be trashy fun, high camp, an actually serious show, or all three, i win. gmmtv could not have given me anything better to look forward to next year 💖
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With both Danhausen and Ethan Page recently announcing they're openly booking indie shows because they want the opportunity to wrestle, can we please have a conversation about how few people on AEW's roster get to actually do things and what a crying shame it is for everyone involved??
More under the cut so I don't clog the dash
At least when they used to run Dark/Dark Elevation and upload them to youtube it meant fans could see their favourites wrestle even if they weren't getting Dynamite time, some people were Dark staples and it gave wrestlers a great space to develop and show their skill as well as being a way for fans to form attachments to people on the roster not getting as much TV screentime
It's so disheartening talking to non-AEW wrestling fans who are curious about the company and telling them about your favourite wrestlers, then having to give match recommendations from the indies to check out because most of the talent on the roster is lucky if they get more than 5 matches a year on AEW (especially if you're after more than squashes and huge multi-person matches where they're spacefillers for the people who are the Actual Focus)
Not everyone can be the top talent, I get that. AEW just seems to use mostly the same people regardless of if they're the A-list or bottom of the card, which means the rare opportunities we get to see other people means those wrestlers have to try and win over the audience every time because they get forgotten and have no opportunity to build momentum or fan support, let alone tell any kind of story. It's sad watching someone from the roster finally get some TV time again only for most fans to go "who are they" about someone who's been with the company for ages
It also means that when injuries happen and multiple fan favourites who were getting more screentime aren't able to wrestle, there's less people who can step up and fill that void because fans aren't able to easily form a connection with the majority of the roster because you have to actively make an effort to seek them out. I watch everything AEW put out, and still there's people on the roster I barely know. For people who watch everything televised they're still missing out because of online only clips that never get shown to the majority of the AEW audience, there's so many great promos that make me really excited about a particular wrestler that most people never get to see in action. Anyone who is only tuning in to one show a week has no hope of connecting with the wider roster
When I got into AEW, I decided to start watching the live stuff as it aired and simultaneously rewatch everything AEW put out from the beginning until I'd caught up, but realistically most people don't have the time to do that. Unfortunately, doing this is the only way I've seen most of the roster do anything! It sucks as a fan to wait for a card announcement knowing your favourites aren't gonna be on it because they never are, and it sucks just as much for the wrestlers. Becoming All Elite should be an incredible opportunity to reach a wider audience, to show people what you can do and it's a shame for the fans and the roster that for most people that isn't happening. It's damaging the company and it sucks the enthusiasm out of your fanbase and your wrestlers
I miss Dark/Dark Elevation. I want to see everyone get an opportunity to make me love them, make me hate them, impress me with what makes them unique. AEW right now is at a point where if you dislike certain people/factions and aren't interested in watching those specific matches/promos, if they're some of the people getting major screentime you might as well not bother with half the shows because they're going to be there constantly. I say this as someone who has very few things in AEW that for me personally have go away heat, but look at the reaction to when we have to endure yet another 10 minute Callis promo... All I see is "free X wrestler from this storyline" or "this could've been a women's match." I'm sure there must be people out there who love it, but I don't personally know anyone who actually enjoys it, which is one of the major downsides of giving a huge platform to specific people with slots on Dynamite and Collision, while making everyone else fight for scraps. Seeing people you love constantly getting passed over in favour of the same people every time makes people bitter, and not just the audience at home. Fans deserve better and so do the wrestlers
I will say as an aside, thank you RJ City for doing SO much heavy lifting with Hey! EW to allow wrestlers a chance to showcase their personality and give fans a chance to connect with people who maybe aren't getting the opportunity to reach an audience on AEW programming. Every single episode of that show makes me have a more positive opinion of the wrestler featured than I had going in and someone I didn't care about has won me over on more than one occasion, I sincerely hope it continues so we can eventually see the entire roster on there
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Power to you with regards to wanting to finish with Gravity Falls first. I passed over so many pieces of media just so I'd be READY for when Hazbin dropped the season. When I hyperfixate, it's almost never a choice, I just get thrown around with no will of my own. And it happens fast. Sounds like you're kinda the same way, so ride that wave while you're on it, and hopefully we'll see you on the other side!
I'm exactly the same. I got into Hazbin because I was working to finish the draft of a 500k word Invader Zim fic during nanowrimo, went "oh I need a break, maybe I'll watch that one episode pilot my mutuals keep mentioning just to unwind," and next thing i know I'm writing a 30k romantic tragedy between a serial killer and a goofy snake, reading multiple scholarly books on the history of radio broadcasting, and filling my bookmarks with links to sites on medieval demonology and the history of New Orleans.
It's always like that! I got hooked on Godzilla from one movie I saw on a whim because a mutual was asking a bunch of pals to see it, and now I have strong opinions on the characterization of a three-headed space dragon. My current Gravity Falls hyperfixation came because whenever The Sims 4 updates and all the current mods break, I go back to a mod-free backup file where I'm building the Mystery Shack and rewatch a bunch of episodes to get references of the shack—and somehow, after 4-5 times of doing that and losing interest again within a week, in March my brain suddenly went "you know what, this time I think we're gonna make Gravity Falls our entire personality for, oh... at least the next year."
I'm taking no chances now! Outside Gravity Falls almost all of my current media consumption is nonfiction because I never hyperfixate on nonfiction. I'm putting off watching Hazbin and listening to The Magnus Protocol. When I am reading/watching fiction, it's as research on topics/genres relevant to the fic. What this means is I've read Flatland and watched almost all of the 80's Care Bears series. (Care Bears was very nearly a bad decision. I started developing emphatic headcanons about No Heart and Mr Beastly's backstories. We had a close call. It's okay, I'm past it, luckily tumblr has a nigh-on nonexistent Care Bears fandom.)
Adulthood is figuring out how your ADHD functions by trial and error and corralling it into doing what you want by setting up clever traps and blockades to steer it.
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Season 3 Rewatch Drabbles: 3x11 Going Home
Summary: A series of 100-500 word drabbles to accompany my rewatch of season 3 of Once Upon a Time. There will be a drabble–either a deleted scene, a “fix it” fic or a character musing for each episode of the season. Focus will be on Emma, Henry, the Charmings and Killian–with an emphasis on Captain Swan’s epic love story.
Word Count: 670
Other Chapters: (1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (7) (8) (9) (10) (11) (13) (14) (15) (16) (17) (18) (19)
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
She’d had the dream again just before her alarm went off. The details were fuzzy and indistinct and she could never quite remember what happened when she woke, but it always ended the same way. She and Henry were in her car. She looked in the rear view mirror, and she saw this group of people standing there. One of the women had her hands raised, and there was green and purple smoke enveloping all of them. She didn’t know why, but Emma always felt an intense sadness at this point in the dream.
And then it was all gone–the people, the smoke, the sadness. It was just her and her kid cruising down the road on a bright sunny day.
There was probably some deep underlying meaning in it all–or so she’d think if she went in for all that dream interpretation crap.
Anyway, she had the dream pretty frequently, probably about once a month, although for a few weeks there at the beginning of the year she’d had it nearly every other night.
Emma shook her head slightly and went back to her task at hand, stirring the eggs, flipping the pancakes, thinking about her day ahead. It was Saturday so she and the kid were having their normal weekend big breakfast. After that, she needed to get to work. She was so close to catching her latest skip. If she was lucky, she’d nab him tonight and still have time to make it to her date with Walsh.
She couldn’t help but feel like there was something missing when it came to her relationship with Walsh. Oh she loved him and all, but he was just…comfortable. Somehow she felt like there should be more in a relationship, more passion, more desire, just…more, but hey. Walsh was a good guy; he got along great with her kid, and they just kind of meshed.
Better a kind of boring relationship than an exciting one where the guy left you holding the bag for his crime and you ended up going to prison for it.
She had just handed the cinnamon to Henry and sat down to dig into her breakfast when the knocking started–and her heart started pounding in time with the knocking. Sometimes in life there were moments where you get a sixth sense, where you just know something momentous is going to happen.
Brushing aside her fancy, Emma went to the door and opened it to see him. She didn’t know who this strange man dressed like a pirate was, but she knew him. It made no sense, but she was pretty sure he was one of the people in the dream she was always having.
He was spouting nonsense about her family needing her and how he knew she didn’t remember but he could make her.
And then he swooped in and kissed her, and God help her, for a split second her knees almost gave out at the rightness of it, the relief, the feelings, the joy.
But then reality set back in, and she did what she should have done the moment he took a step toward her–she kneed him in the family jewels and slammed the door in his face.
Her brow furrowed as she licked her lips, still tasting of him, and the unsettling feelings continued.
“Who was that?” Henry asked, going back to his pancakes.
It was enough to snap her out of it once and for all.
“No idea,” she said, ambling back toward the table. “Someone must have left the door open downstairs. Come on; let’s eat.”
Notes:–How could I not write my drabble on this scene? I am fairly certain I literally screamed when I watched this episode live and saw who it was on the other side of the door. This was the moment I was 100% certain that Captain Swan was endgame and it was glorious. Given that this was the mid-season finale, I considered this scene my very first Christmas present of the year.
NEXT CHAPTER->
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How did YOU get into 911ls rachel? 👀
if you could write one episode of season 5, what would it include? (back atcha)
what is your favorite cuisine and one food in that cuisine you hate; and what is your LEAST favorite cuisine and one food in that cuisine you LOVE
what's your favorite pastime/hobby outside of fandom? (back atcha)
what is your favorite season 👀 is it... winter... *shot*
more photos of cats please! 🥰
How did YOU get into 911ls rachel? 👀
okay so i started with OG 911, i watched from the very beginning when season one aired until season 5 and just became uninteresting (season 5 was... bad...) but rewatched spring 2023 because my sister wanted to watch it. and enjoyed it much more that time around. and then over the summer i was sick and couldnt leave my house for a week so i decided to watch lone star AND MY LIFE WAS FOREVER ALTERED. (i realize im a very late fan pls forgive me)
i was hesitant to watch lone star because some people in the OG 911 fandom are very mean towards this show and it's fans. (i've distanced myself from those people. i adore this show and have met the loveliest people on here because of this show.)
if you could write one episode of season 5, what would it include?
okay this is gonna be all over the place. marjan has a comphet realization and does some self discovery and we get some sapphic rep from her. not saying they have to make her have a girlfriend, but just some realization and being an openly queer, muslim, female firefighter in texas would be EVERYTHING to me.
nancy backstory. i've written a little about my thoughts on her backstory and want to write more. but i say she comes from a rich, influential family, but they're distant to her and put alot of pressure on her growing up and her sister is the only one she stays in contact with.
for tarlos. let them fuck nasty. (okay i realize we can't have that on network television).
realistics. carlos gets injured on the job or while trying to solve gabriel's murder and we get him in a coma in a hospital bed and tk is anxious and crying by his bedside (WE DESERVE IT. CARLOS HAS BEEN IN THAT SPOT TWICE. IT'S TK'S TURN)
what is your favorite cuisine and one food in that cuisine you hate; and what is your LEAST favorite cuisine and one food in that cuisine you LOVE
okay, so fair warning. white woman, who grew up in a small town, and still lives in that small town. and my mom was a terrible cook. im slowly trying to immerse myself in foods from other cultures now that im an adult. but there is not an option for restaurants of anything other than americanized chinese and theres no ethnic grocery options here either, so i try my best. and i feel like finding recipes is so hard. i never know what to look for as a beginner.
i really don't know if this counts as a cuisine, but my aunt always cooked Pennsylvania Dutch foods (which is kind of a derivative of german so that i guess?) but my least favorite of that would be scrapple or pickled beet eggs. both are 🤢
since that probably doesn't count, italian. i love chicken/eggplant parm or lemon risotto (im probably offending so many italians rn)
i can't say i have a least favorite cuisine? i'll say the one i've least delved into. i hope this doesn't upset you, but .... indian ... I KNOW IM SORRY. I REALLY WANT TO TRY MORE THO I NEED TO FIND SOME BEGINNER RECIPES TO TRY AND HOPE I CAN FIND THE INGREDIENTS HERE. but i do loveeeee chicken tikka masala and garlic naan. like the most basic answer. im so so sorry tessa. :(
what's your favorite pastime/hobby outside of fandom?
i love music and everything about it. i go with my sister to live events quite a bit. we love concerts but also going to sporting events. mostly football and baseball!
what is your favorite season 👀 is it... winter... *shot*
hahahah. fall! i miss real fall, like when i was younger. now it just goes from being super hot to cold. not much fall anymore. :( as much as i hate living in a rural area, its beautiful here in the fall <3
more photos of cats please! 🥰
okay it’s mostly pepper because she’s attached at my hip and puffy is more independent lol
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This Week In BL - Korea is coming after your office romance crown, Japan
March 2023 Wk 3
Being a highly subjective assessment of one tiny corner of the interwebs. Organized by which ones (in each category) I’m enjoying most.
Ongoing Series - Thai
Bed Friend (Sat YT, GaGa & iQIYI uncut) ep 6 of 10 - (sorry, yes I knew they extended it to 10, and I don’t think it’s a good sign) I thought the kink moment was kinda cute, and it illustrates the best thing about f-buddy relationships, license to play and explore. Also language play! (You know phi/nong is also for pets, right?) Poor Uea never gets to keep a grain of happiness very long - so now he’s pushing it away and self isolating. Sigh, I do hope there is happiness for a few eps at the end of all this trauma.
Future (Thai Sun YouTube & Gaga) ep 1 of 5 - Based on a y-novel by Faddest (En of Love) about an engineering student and a dentist. Expect this one to stay soft, it’s from the 21 Day Theory people. I LOVE it. Bad sound and wooden acting but this is a classic old school Thai pulp. Older shy (but delightfully manipulative) sweetie dentist Ana with crush on younger sappy sunshine jock engineering student, Fuse. Very much a puppy/cat pairing. I admit, knowing all the various characters’ back stories means everything makes more sense. The friends’ conversations make me laugh a lot, but this is a very talkie show, with not awesome subs, so certainly not for everyone. I’ve already rewatched the first ep 3x.
Pastsenger (Thai Weds Gaga) 3 of 12 eps - I enjoy that its the tsundere uke developing feelings first. Unusual approach. I also like that fake dating is being deployed to protect the girl from a stalker. It’s silly but I’m starting to like this show more.
A Boss and a Babe (Fri YouTube) ep 4 of 12 - Honestly, the boss character isn’t really that tsundere. He’s basically a big old softy. Also baby boy very jelly. I would be too. Ex is v hot. But we keep being told things about these 2 characters but not shown said things on screen. Like the writers think they are telling one story but what we are watching is completely different. It’s... odd.
Tin Tam Jai (Tues Gaga & iQIYI) ep 4 of 12 - Aw, P’Park has an emotional support uke. OMG they brought the flirty faen fatal crumb back! YES. I love him.
The Promise (Thai Weds YT) ep 4 of 10 - Good advice about secrets. It better come out and it better be a good reason... like witness protection. I am starting to get annoyed and feel manipulated the more they drag it out. But from the preview it seems like next week brings the PAIN. I have never been more ready.
Chains of Heart (Sat iQIYI) ep 6 of 10 - Will I ever understand this show? I hate that such good acting and chemistry is squandered on such an incomprehensible script. Is the “Korean doctor thread” a set up for Lue actually being Din (dead lover) with a new face? Because I suspected that at the beginning but if that’s the big twist in this narrative it’s a super clumsy twist. I hope they don’t. I’d rather it’s that Din turned himself into Ken - creepy, but less predictable.
Ongoing Series - Not Thai
Our Dating Sim (Korea Thurs Viki) eps 5-6 of 8 - Miracles of miracles: The kissing is even good in this one! Aw, baby wants to be courted. The redial phone call flirt had me flappy-handing and cackling. How are they THIS cute? It hurts my heart, two nerds in love. Also being linguistically outed at work is my new favorite trope ever. I rewatched these 2 eps an embarrassing number of times. (Warning, it looks like we got us a classic 1yr Kdrama separation coming down the line. PLEASE subvert this trope ODS. PLEASE.)
All the Liquors (Korea Thurs Gaga & Viki) eps 7-8 fin - I guess I just don’t get over-dramatic angst about silly things. The premise of this show seems to be overreaction to some stuff, under-reaction (more typical KBL) to everything else. So not allergic but an alcoholic grandma who drank herself to death? Cute confession and kiss. They are so shy and sweet with each other. For a Korean drama this had a great ending which elevated it a lot over the many other KBLs of this type (Tasty, Sweet, Ocean, etc..)
Final thoughts: A pretty classic foodie set KBL that managed to distinguish itself from others in this category by having a particularly satisfying final episode centered around found family. Sunshine sweetie soju rep gets involved with a shy introverted chef who doesn’t drink. Has a somewhat uneven plot, but If you are looking for a restaurant BL with Korea’s signature softness, then this is a great option. FYI I may identify with our baby party boy hedonist more than any other BL lead ever presented. 8/10
I present actual footage of P’ABL whispering in your shell-like about what you should watch next...
Unintentional Love Story (Korea Thurs iQIYI) 3-4 of 10 - (here’s how I am getting it) ALL THE TROPES these 2 eps. Cohabitation! Pretty house! Flirting. Ooo evil agent ex? White towel sponge bath doesn’t get deployed by Korea very often. Other thoughts: Why does the ceramicist’s car look like a hearse? How is Gongchan SO CUTE? Boyfriends-to-be eating together is great. So many self-worth issues in this one no wonder @heretherebedork loves it. (This is an unexpectedly long series, too. 10 eps and each one is over 30 min. That’s crazy for a KBL = Light on Me territory.)
A Shoulder to Cry On (Korea Tues Viki & Gaga) eps 3-4 of 7 - this sort of emotional and mental manipulation (from narrative and characters) meets bully romance isn’t my thing. (And should be left up to Japan if it must exist at all IMHO.) Ultra cringe, humiliation, and emotional torture for everyone! (What is this, fan fic?) Result: therapy is needed for everyone, including me, who continues to have trust issues with this show.
Jack o’Frost (Japan Fri GaGa) ep 6 fin - delayed until next week
It’s Airing But ...
Love Syndrome (Thai Sat WeTV) stopped at ep 2 of 12 - I’m just not into any aspect of it (except Lee Long Shi and I can watch him in Tin Tem Jai) - saving to binge if the end is solid.
Blue Sky Complex (Japan ???) 5 eps for VR - adaptation of Kei Ichikawa's manga started Feb 27 on 360 Channel (SHOCHIKUch) a VR distribution service. Will inter-fans ever get to see this, and if it’s filmed for VR will it adapt without being overly dark and fuzzy? I have questions. But as usual, you do you Japan and we will wait (im)patiently to see if you remember the rest of the world exists. This is my preferred kind of live action yaoi, so fingers crossed.
Boyband (Thai) ep 2 of 10 - Stopped airing on YouTube, and only available in Thailand & Japan. Not sure if they’re working a distribution deal or just fucking with us.
Cafe In Love (Thai ???) 10 eps on Ch3+ - Thai pulp, about trying to save a coffee shop. FairyGodBLer came through for me, but I’m collecting to binge just in case. It’s my new policy with the grey stuff.
Destiny Seeker (Tues WeTV Thailand) 10 eps - it’s not on any WeTV I can get ahold of. Bad Buddy the pulp rebirth meets Japanese handsome host club action. Same as above.
Make a Wish (Thai Weds ?) from WaGa Creative staring Fluke Natouch (OhmFluke UWMA etc...) & Judo (The Miracle Of Teddy Bear) in a medical-fantasy. It seems to be a light-hearted romance with a comedic flair. About a doctor who sees ghosts and a deity who resides in a Bodhi tree that earns merits whenever he fulfills a wish based on a y-novel by Sammon (Manner of Death, Triage). Too hard to find.
In other news
I finished watching Why You... Y Me (hold over from last year). It’s basically Puppy Honey + a band + excessive fujoshi, so NOT my jam, but the main BL side is nicely handled love triangle, if that’s your thing. There is a tiny gem of a story (buried in amongst the rest of this nonsense) about friendship, support, love, and owning your identity. But BL is very much the secondary plot here and the main plot is AWFUL so I can’t give it more than 5/10. Still it’s all on YT if you wanna give it a try.
I also finished The End Of The World, With You AKA Bokura no Micro na Shuumatsu. (Speaking of Japan psychologically bullying us.) Conclusion? It’s not BL (no BL tropes used, a sub-genre is defined by its tropes, BL is a sub-genre of gay romance). It’s a quirky road trip found family gay drama/romance. It’s fine if you like this kinda artsy tortured character thing. I don’t. But it’s well done high heat from Japan so... 6/10 I guess?
Next Week Looks Like This:
The Eighth Sense starts weds Viki, I’m thinking this is KBL doing JBL style again, so no promises on an HEA for this one. It’s giving me. His (the series) feels. But it could be more in the Blueming vein. Remains to be seen.
Full list of upcoming in March 2023 is here.
2023 forthcoming BL master post. (see comments, some are inaccurate, NOT KEPT UPDATED)
This Week’s Adventure in Captions
Actually, Fuse said meeha which is usually translated as wifey (there are other slang words for bottom). Fuse is trying to establish a sexual and romantic dynamic where he plays “the male role” and he is doing this with Ana for several reasons: 1. Ana made the first move. 2 Ana is older.
This is definitely one of those were the captions are OK but old-fashioned, it helps to know the common used terms and parlance. They are ALSO never saying boyfriend, they are always saying faen (gender neutral).
THIS WEEK’S BEST MOMENT
I really liked this phrasing (Boss & Babe).
Double date!
The cuteness, it burns us. How is Gongchan a 2nd gen idol, nearly 30, and still the ultimate macknae? Inquiring minds would like his immortality pill, please and thank you. (Unintentional Love Story)
Another gay cactus baby! (Why did tumblr lose its mind over this? Here’s the BL meme primer)
I love it when a show calls out it’s own tropes.
I also love it when a show accurately reviews itself.
All from Our Dating Sim.
(last week)
Current Kpop earworm? Okay so Ireah on Peak Time did a bitty cover of Bad Love by Hynn and now I’m obsessed with it. I like her original a lot but I really want him to drop a full cover of it someday.
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my 911 fics ranked by how much fun i had writing them
i have written 10 fics for 911 now (and i started writing my first one about a year ago!) so i thought it would be fun to look back on my experience writing each of them. If you want to do something similar with your experiences writing fics please tag me I’d love to see!
1. maybe love won’t let you down
Buck tells Eddie he’s in love with him. Eddie pines.
or, five times eddie watches buck leave, and the one time he goes after him
my first 911 fic ever. i was high on buddie fumes and rewatching 911 episodes everyday. 11/10 fic writing experience.
2. my heart’s a secret (tell me you’ll keep it)
Buck tells Chimney a secret. This proves to be a mistake.
went from concept to publishing this fic in under 24 hours. was briefly possessed by the spirit of howard “chimney” han. 10/10
3. making love to the flashes
Buck gets his picture taken. Eddie loses his mind.
wrote this purely on silly vibes and horny banter. this fic reinvigorated my love for writing fic. one point deduction because i thought it would be like 6k tops and it ended up being 11k 💀. 9/10
4. at every table i’ll save you a seat
Buck and Eddie are best friends. Why is that so difficult for everyone to understand?
Or, five times someone tells Buck he’s in love with Eddie and the one time he tells Eddie
outlined this fic in like 2 hours and had such a blast writing it. it is still one of my favorites for reasons i can’t explain. points off because i had to write a call. 8/10
5. honey hold my hand, you like making me wait for it
Buck and Eddie spend a week on opposite shifts and then have very sappy sex about it
wrote the first half in a feverish flurry then got intimidated by writing Actual Smut and had to take a two month break. very fun overall but points off for having to figure out how to describe orgasms. 7/10
6. on my knees i think clearer
Eddie makes an unexpected confession during sex
wrote this one right after the 5b finale and i had fun with it! but it’s too short for me to have gotten all that invested. 7/10
7. all i know since yesterday
Eddie flirts. Buck worries.
parts of this were a blast to write. parts of it felt difficult to pull off. overall i would say it was a fun writing experience, but not the best. 6/10
8. with a bird at your door
Eddie starts spending all his time with Buck. Which would be fine if it weren't for the fact that Buck is in love with him.
i have no memory of writing this and i literally forgot about it until i discovered it in my fic folder like 3 months later. ??/10
9. things you don’t say reach me somehow anyway
Eddie tells the family he chose how much they mean to him. All of them except one.
this fic tried to murder me. half of it poured out of me in a joyful jumble and half of it was like an uphill climb. 4/10
10. i’ve got the feeling you’re the right thing after all
Buck tells Eddie about his decision. Eddie has some feelings about it.
at no point while writing this fic was i 100% happy with it. points because there is some dialogue i really like and this fic taught me why i don’t often write spec fic. 3/10
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I've followed you for a while (for gallavich actually but your buddie fics convinced me to finally watch 911!) and we've always been of the same mind about the likelihood of buddie happening in canon. But after Buck fell asleep on Eddie's couch and now all of 6x13, I now feel like it's inevitable that the show IS actually going to make it explicitly romantic. How're you feeling about canon buddie these days?
ahh hey bud!!! i'm honoured i was able to convince you to watch the show lmao 🥰
okay i'm gonna try and organise my thoughts bc my brain has been going in a lot of different directions these past few weeks. so. i don't think i'll ever be able to confidently say buddie canon is happening until we get a very deliberate Moment with either buck or eddie where it's clear something has changed for one of them.
by that, i mean i need another 'just make sure you're following your heart, not christopher's' eddie-face-journey-esque moment where eddie looks at buck or buck looks at eddie and we know (and by we, i mean the whooooole general audience, not just the fandom) they're looking at each other differently
and it's not that i think everything that's happening right now isn't deliberate, it's more just that it's not quite confirmation in the overt sense for me???? particularly as far as them being attracted to each other etc. (i know they love each other, i know they're a family but are there feelings, y'know)
however
there has been a lot happening in the past two episodes that's been making me go 👀👀👀
firstly. the couch. that fucking couch metaphor has me by the thROAT and has done since 6x01. and genuinely i cannot explain the narrative of 6x12 as anything other than proof that eddie is the couch. like. i have an english degree. i legitimately analyse texts for a living and there is no other way to interpret this whole thing other than the idea that the couch that buck has been quietly searching for all season (which is repeatedly conflated with a romantic partner and happiness), is eddie.
buck wants to pick the right couch. margaret chooses for him but it's Not Right. buck goes to eddie's and falls asleep on his couch in seconds before opening up to him and effectively highlighting to us that his safe space is at eddie's house. it's just???????????
(also the fact that oliver said the other couch will be gone by the end of the season my mind is sPINNING)
next. the buckley-diaz family of it all in 6x13. i've said a few times this week that this ep felt like a speedrun season 3 (i'm also currently rewatching s3 which i think is why it's on my brain). as in, we have buddie and chris paired off while the other couples have their own plot. we did have that quite a bit in s4 and 5, don't get me wrong, but it was rarely something that wasn't tied to an overarching plot like the shooting and eddie's subsequent breakdown. whereas these were fun scenes just because. so we had the season 3 dynamic back but there was so much more weight to it because of all that's changed since then.
there are plenty of posts about it but their family unit was emphasised A Lot in 6x13. both in the scene with chris' homework and the baking for chris' class scene. like it's heavily established in this ep that whether it's at buck's place or eddie's, the three of them spend their days together. and not in an organised, 'let's have a movie night' kind of way. as in, they exist in the same space together the way any couple and their child would and that's so!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
also the baking for christopher's class scene literally dO NOT get me started i can't believe they did that askjdfhsa
on a smaller scale, buck and eddie's dynamic had a very Particular energy about it in the poker scene. i don't necessarily wanna say flirty bc i legit haven't rewatched since i first saw it tuesday morning when i was barely awake but there was a sort of tension there that i'm very interested in tbh bc i don't think we've seen that in a long time??? also i'm soooo suspicious of captain mehta's re-emergence and how arbitrary the whole poker thing was in the first place @ 911 i have questions!!!!
finally. i can't quite articulate this yet. but something about the episode titles is making me very askdhfs
mixed feelings. performance anxiety. lost and found. love is in the air. it's just. like, yes every episode title has multiple meanings but also every episode title has a level of suggestiveness that has me paying attention. lost and found bc of the tsunami connotations and chris asking buck in his dream if he can help him find his dad. and love is in the air bc it's giving me buck actually vibes and we all know i fully believe buck actually is where buck's story post-abby really begins and i will clutch at every romcom coded metaphor this show throws at me askjdh
TL;DR at this point i think we're going somewhere. like, i feel as though we're on the precipice of something and all it would take is one tiny moment to fully tip us over the edge. if and when that moment comes, i can't say for sure but gOD i'd love it if it did ✨
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Top Nine TV Shows tag game
Was invited to do this by @lovesickfolly I'm going to do it with cdramas, bc that's what I'm into lately, but if anyone wants to do this, you can do it with any kind of show.
My top nine cdramas, in no particular order...
Before I begin, I should probably point out that I'm more "plot" over "ship." I like ships, but usually as a means to showing character depth; they're not the thing I tend to focus on the most.
What these nine have in common is:
good plot and writing - not just the plot, but the storytelling
3D characters who are also likeable
hooked my attention - my mind didn't wander while watching, AND I wanted to watch more than one episode in a row
memorable
I'm going to include another indicator, too. If it "got" me good enough to make me make fanart: 🎨lol I mean, I'm SLOW. If I was willing to dedicate days/weeks to make a drawing out of it, that's SOMETHING. lmao
1 - Word of Honor🎨
Martial arts adventures (+ a steampunk sect), BL.
This was the first cdrama I watched, and I loved it and it still has a special place in my heart. I rewatched along later with @ginsoakedgirl80 and it was as enjoyable to watch the 2nd time as it was the 1st.
Awesome story and characters, beautiful scenery. And it gave me my first two favorite drama actors.😆*cough* My fav characters were, in order: Ye Baiyi and the Scorpion King. My fav actors, the same two, but reversed; I like comedians, OK? XD
Just a word of advice to anyone planning to try this: I don't know why the opening scenes character-dump on you; most of those people aren't even that important. Just learn Prince Jin and Zhou Zishu (a few others will show up later, but you can learn them then), and then start learning names only once Zhou Zishu becomes a homeless drunk man.
2 - The Taoism Grandmaster (technically, I have a drawing WIP, but it'll probably stay a WIP)
If the Triwizard Tournament from Harry Potter and a Final Fantasy video game had a child in ancient China, you'd get this, complete with items shop before boss battles (the store ox is so cute!).
No but look, this is like my gremlin child. I'm not a fast watcher, but this is the only one which I binged so many episodes in a row, that it made me lose track of time, and before I knew it, it was past 2am on a weeknight and I had work the next day. I may have made it to 4am one of those nights; I don't remember. After it happened twice, I had to set an alarm. Have also watched twice+
Yes, the CG is bad, the costumes were cheap sometimes, and the plants did not pretend to not be plastic, but I love the story. It's well written and has so many details and ways things tie together. And THE CHARACTERS! They're all lovable dorks AND I LOVE THEM!
3 - The Legendary Life of Queen Lau🎨
Romcom.
AAAAAAAAA!! I love comedy and this was GREAT in that sense! Really had me laughing out loud every episode! This is one to watch more for the funny and ingenious situations than for plot, but it was SO enjoyable, I'd even watch them do slice of life. So cute, so fun, love it love it love it!!🥰 Another one that I rewatch whenever I need something uplifting and cute. Also, one of my two favorite OSTs. So uplifting and danceable!
Alright, those are my top 3. The ones I'm sentimental for. The stuff I squee over. But I have 16 starred on my list as excellent / recommendable, so let's have six more.
4 - Song of Youth
Case-solving; mini-cases and the one overarching one.
I loved the format of one case per couple of episodes, so it was broken up into smaller chunks. Super interesting and creative - each case was solved in an unconventional way, which was fun and engaging. All the actresses did a fantastic job. The jewelry, props, lighting, etc. were absolutely beautiful.
5 - The Blood of Youth🎨
Martial arts adventures with a group of friends.
Story: 💯Characters: 💯 Fights: 💯 Visuals: 💯OST: 💯
Xiao Se as the tired babysitter I love him! Wuxin! OMG Wuxin as the sassy fake monk who monologues before every fight and people just let him. I love him! (Wuxin spinoff, please! and I love his theme song!) The whole cast is gorgeous and acted wonderfully, so no sacrificing talent for looks; these people had both in spades. The supporting cast, too. OMG Baily Dongjun and the thunder guy!😍 It had funny moments. Mr. Sikong! The fights were SO creative... how many ways can you design a martial arts fight?? Way more than I thought! No two were similar; it was amazing, the creativity.
As an artist, I really enjoyed the cinematography... the scenery, lighting!! composition, all absolutely gorgeous. Those shots of Xiao Se with soft backlighting? Chef's kiss. And, as a photographer, I know they're not as easy to achieve as it looks. Alright, this one got 2 paragraphs already; need to move on, but watch if you haven't. It's on YouTube.
6 - Till the End of the Moon
Doomed love fantasy; watch them struggle against themselves and their destiny.
THIS IS SO GOOD!! The story is great, excellent plot and pacing. Characters are 3D and always surprising. Gorgeous costumes (Tantai Jin's especially! And the clam clan makeup!), sets, and special effects. THE SOUNDTRACK IS EMBEDDED IN MY BRAIN IT'S SO GOOD (🎶favs: "Use my Body as a Shield" or whatever it's called, I keep seeing different translated titles for it; "Reborn" instrumental; and "Holding on to a Thought" instrumental).
7 - The Blue Whisper
Fantasy romance and adventure. Merman. Animal-spirit people. Angst, treason, and undying hope.
Gosh this drama is so beautiful. This, Till the End of the Moon, and Blood of Youth are up there as the top 3 visuals in dramas I've completed (there are others that have stunned me visually, but haven't been able to watch in full). Excellent story, too. It's a tearjerker, but it's SO GOOD!
8 - My Uncanny Destiny
Romcom. "Would you still love me if I was a worm?"
Lots of fun. Very enjoyable and bingeable.
9 - Guardian, the one with Bai Yu and Zhu Yi Long
Modern urban superpowers type of thing, which is a genre I like, and the story is so good! By Priest, the same author for the Word of Honor novel. Never a dull moment. Tearjerker warning, but so good. Excellent theme song, too, btw. (I don't have any screencaps that aren't a spoiler, so that's what this is XD)
I ran out of slots, but I'll list the other seven in my Excellent and Recommendable list. Order is just as I watched them:
The Untamed
Legend of Fei
A Female Student Arrives at the Imperial College
Be Reborn (modern, heist/police)
The Romance of Tiger and Rose
A Familiar Stranger (mini-drama; watch the movie version)
Reset (modern, action, investigation)
PS: I've been here one month, and have done two tag games and they both had the number "9" in them; is this a tumblr thing?
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This isn’t that interesting a story, but I’m rewatching Prison Break and I guess feeling nostalgic and sentimental, so I thought I’d post about how I first encountered the show.
I was on my way to or from (I can’t really remember) soccer practice and my teammate and her mom were talking about this show they loved called Prison Break. They had watched the first season and were excited for the second season to start. I was 12, almost 13, and I guess something about what they said piqued my interest so I decided to tune into the season 2 premiere. I was instantly hooked. I begged my parents to take me to Blockbuster to rent the first season. I remember having an assignment to finish before the start of 7th grade and having to balance that with my binge watching.
It was 2006, so when I say I binged what I really mean is that I had my dad take me to Blockbuster after every 4 episodes to get the next disc. It was excruciating when my parents wouldn’t budge on spending another $5 on a rental but in the one or two weeks before 7th grade I finished the first season.
It’s the first television show I ever loved and it’ll always be so special to me. Watching it now, close to 20 years later is wild. I’ve seen it countless times, but I’m always reminded of the anticipation I felt on Mondays throughout middle school. It was a pretty unbearable time in my life, but Prison Break was the one bright spot during the week.
It was also the first thing that brought me to the internet. I met so many people on YouTube and various forums I no longer remember, it was such a bright spot in my life.
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