Can't think right, too tongue-tied, It must be love | GOJO SATORU
5+1. 5 times Gojo Satoru's confessed to you through his cryptic love language and one time you've had enough.
note: fluff. crack. idiots in love. not proofread cuz im bz w commz. it's gender-neutral. based on experience cuz i like projecting myself into my writing. (if my clients r seeing this, im so sorry i just have to get this off my head or else i will explode) listen to the playlist for immersive reading (its actually part of the story! but its optional if yall prefer silent environments and prefer to listen later hehe)
story playlist:
01: Gee by Girls Generation
"Hey, check your dms."
He nudges you with his elbow—quite rudely if one might add but you've learned to deal with Satoru's little quirks after years of torment. Who wouldn't if you were subjected to concealed torture under the guise of tumultuous hiiiiiiii's, heyyyyyyyy's, and the occasional heavy ass arm around your neck that he keeps leaning on with his fucking weight because he claims, and you quote, "we're besties."
He's annoying and yes, you've since learned to desensitize yourself with his entire existence completely.
However, there are still times when he's managed to surprise you despite all the years of experience you've worked hard and traumatized (exaggeration, yes, but it's Gojo?) yourself for.
"Did you just send me Gee by Girls Generation?"
He looks up from his phone, the circular sunglasses drooping down with the raise of his eyebrows. He glances at you before looking back down again to his phone.
"Yeah?" He replies as if you shouldn't be asking him in the first place. You blink at him in confusion. "Reminds me of you."
"What?" You furrow your eyebrows. "Gee .... Reminds you of me?"
"Yeah," He responds with no hesitance. Somehow, this makes you squint your eyes at him.
"Are you trying to get something out of this?"
"No?" He raises his eyebrow before chuckling, raising his hand to gently bump his knuckles against your forehead. You flinch back at the sudden gesture.
He tilts his head with a smile. "Listen to it on the way home."
There's a pause of silence as you look at him with wide eyes, the phone screen dimming down with every second you leave it untouched. He then purses his lips, shrugs, and slips his airpods in before waving and wandering off to Geto who had just come out with Shoko from the convenience store with a bag of ice cream.
You furrow your eyebrows in confusion as the two erupt into laughter—Gojo swinging his arm around Geto in the process. You see Shoko turn towards you, an unlit cigarette stick hanging from her lips.
"Y/N!" She calls before nudging her head over. You sigh as the two walk on ahead, too immersed in their conversation to wait for the two of you. You walk over to Shoko as she waits for you with her hands tucked within the pockets of her sweatpants.
Shoko gives you a once-over as you take another peek at your phone. This is just him fucking with me probably. Surely.
"What's with you?" She asks with a drawl of her voice. She adjusts the cigarette with a roll of her lips.
You pocket your phone with a quiet sigh, eyes boring into the back of Satoru's head. "Nothing. Let's go."
02: Super Shy by New Jeans
The next time it happens is when your phone is connected to the Bluetooth speaker in the common area. It was a peaceful morning really, lounging in the kitchen bar, and drinking your coffee while listening to Laufey surely was one way to pass the time.
There weren't any missions for the second years and so you had the place all to the four of you.
You take another sip, eyes drowsily blinking as Bewitched by Laufey plays beautifully in the surround sound speakers that the school funded at the awful behest of Gojo Satoru. (Of course, he gets his way around the administration because they have no choice) It has its use despite how it was taken but past is past and you just want to snuggle yourself deeper in your oversized hoodie, the feeling of a fresh shower, a cup of coffee, and music.
Just as you took another sip of your drink, you heard padding of footsteps descending the stairs from the boys' side of the dormitory.
You turn your head to see the new addition to your peaceful morning only to let out a sigh at the sight of Gojo Satoru yawning, scratching his stomach, then finally turning towards you with a slight surprise—all in that order.
"Y/N," He greets, voice riddled with sleep as he waddles over to you, encasing you with his arms around your shoulders and head against your neck. "'m so sleepy."
"Satoru," You take a sip of your coffee, unbothered by the weight on your back as he almost completely nestles his weight on your body. "You're early."
He has half a mind to take notice of the soft tunes coming out of the speakers as he digs his face into your neck. You stay unbothered to his sudden need for physical intimacy as you place down your coffee to grab your phone.
He raises his head from your neck, chin on your shoulder as he notices your prolonged silence—presumably, distracted by something else. Turns out, he was right as he watched you rack through your playlist for a song to change to.
Taking the opportunity, he snatches your phone swiftly and pressing the search button to play something else entirely.
"Hey!" You complain as you grab his wrist when he tries to dodge your attempts to get your phone back. You force it down to your range of vision as he begins to search for whatever song he wants to play for the morning. "Please don't—"
"Too late," He grins, pressing Super Shy by New Jeans. Soon enough the playful beats of the song surround the area and he's back to his usual giggly and energetic self. He hugs you close and tight, shifting your body back and forth to the beat.
It's too early in the morning and you don't have the energy in you to stop this assault.
"Can you stop?" You whine as he gathers you tightly in his arms, cheeks mushed together, your arms pressed against your chest, and his face buried against your hair.
"Why?" He drawls out the last syllable with an annoyingly cute tilt of his voice. You want to body slam him to the floor. "This song reminds me of you though!"
There he is again.
You're not too sure if you should question it when he's holding this much energy in the morning. He tries to sway your body back and forth to the song and you could almost feel your stomach empty its contents when Geto finally comes to your rescue.
"Satoru!" Geto's voice reaches the kitchen with ease as he stops by the entrance and shakes his head. "Get off Y/N before they die, would you?"
"Fine," Satoru lets go of you reluctantly before trudging over to Geto who comforts him with the promise of making him breakfast. You send a thankful glance to Geto who gives you a sympathetic nod.
You let out a sigh. Your coffee has gone cold and another song from New Jeans' album plays on the speakers
You suppose interrogating Gojo can wait.
03: Love Lee by AKMU
Your eyes glance up from your phone to glare at the winter wonderland-haired boy sitting on one of the chairs to the far right of the classroom. He balances himself on its hind legs with his feet perched up on the table as he continues to type on his phone.
Few seconds later another ding alerts you of a notification.
There's a huff of laughter from his side of the room, presumably from your conversation. You let out a sigh, tucking your left hand in your pocket to cup around for your poor tangled earphones.
"Did he send you another song?" Shoko peers from your shoulder at the open conversation tab of you and Satoru's messages. You grumble in response as you pull the offensive knotted wires from your pocket.
The brunette heaves a sigh as she plops down to the seat next to yours. There's about an hour left before Professor Yaga bursts through those doors and disrupts your moment of reprieve. It's better to just make most of your time now.
You press on the link, leading you to your Spotify app as the song pops up on the player.
"Love Lee?" You say loudly enough for Satoru to hear amidst his conversation with Geto. "Really?"
"You say that as if AKMU isn't godly," Satoru retorts with a raise of his eyebrow. Suguru chuckles beside him, coughing into his hand as if to hide his laughter.
"This is the last time, Satoru." You comment as you slip one earphone to your ear. The blue eyed boy rolls his eyes.
"Is it so bad to send you songs that remind me of you?"
"I said, last time."
He raises his left hand and mimics talking in a mocking demeanor with a close and open of his fingers and thumb. You glare at him shortly.
You press play and the song hums a soft melody with its lowered volume within the speakers of your earphones. Shoko glances at you and then Gojo before shifting her body towards your armrest and resting her arms on it with her chin perched on top.
"He's not gonna stop is he?" Shoko asks with a soft smile on her lips. You glance down at her, hand coming up to brush a stray hair away from her face.
"He's just being Gojo," You retort with a sigh. You twirl a strand of her hair within your fingers. "He'll get bored soon enough."
Shoko stifles a giggle from her lips causing you to raise an eyebrow.
"Sure," She says with a roll of her eyes. You don't like her tone.
"Why'd you say it like that?"
"Like what?"
"Like you don't believe me." You frown deeply. Shoko glances down at your phone and then at you.
"You said he sent you D.O the other day."
"And?" You raise your eyebrow at her in confusion. You're not sure what to make of what she's saying but the steady gaze of Shoko's eyes on you somewhat makes you nervous.
"Rose," She adds as if she's trying to prove something already obvious. "Rose by D.O. Then he sent you Love Lee today."
"Yeah, I know?" You sound out the last syllable with a careful tone. Shoko eyes you once more before shaking her head.
"You're hopeless." She grumbles, opening the window to her side and lighting a cigarette. You furrow your eyebrows at her sudden frustration.
"What the hell does that mean?"
04: Only by Lee Hi
"It's good, I promise you!" Gojo flashes you with his cerulean blue eyes that seem to get shinier by the second. You feel uneasy under his stare as he tilts his umbrella to shield you further from the rain.
The two of you are walking to the Samgyupsal place that Shoko suggested eating out at. It had been a while since the four of you gathered in one place— You and Ieri often paired out in reconnaissance missions while the other two were sent to more physical curse-related operations. It wasn't exactly easy to find the right time to catch up but with luck on your side, the four of you coincidentally ended missions on the same week. Currently, You and Gojo have woken up late from an afternoon nap and decided to go there together. The other two had already left a few minutes earlier.
Bad news, it had rained on the way there. Good news, your umbrella was with you.
Since the walking Burj Khalifa had a taller physique and a longer arm, you gave him the role of keeping the both of you dry from the rain.
Your only problem right now though is that Satoru's doing his thing again.
"I thought I told you that last time is the last time?" You shoot him a stern look as he tries his best to give you his mimic of puppy eyes. Well, as much as he can with that sunglasses of his.
"But this one's really good though?" He pouts. "If you like Laufey, you'll like this one. C'mon, please?"
He pulls out one of his AirPods from his right ear before holding out to you. You give him a defeated look as he grins at you cheerfully.
You put it on with reluctance as he pulls out his phone to scroll through his long-ass playlist. You could only get a glimpse of it with how he used the scroll bar you couldn't even see with the amount of songs he's jam-packed in that collection of his. You ought to teach him the importance of sectioning his music, you suppose.
He then finally lets out a noise of victory when he's found the song he's looking for. Soon enough, piano instrumentals begin to play and the mood suddenly shifts to a mellow vibe.
Your chest huffs with recognition as Lee Hi's voice fills your ear with carefully woven melodies and detailed harmonies.
"Only?" You turn to him with a soft smile playing on your lips. He glances down at you with a smile as you both walk to the beat of the song.
"See?" He says. You look up at him with the subtle sway of your head to the addictive flow of the tune. "You like it."
"Of course, I do," You retort with a scoff. "It's Lee Hi."
"Yeah, yeah," He rolls his eyes before licking his lips as he turns to face the street once more. "I meant this. You're starting to like it, I can see it on your face."
You halt your footsteps, causing him to stumble as he tries to shield your body causing a few of the droplets to splash the side of his arm. He stares at you with wide eyes, awaiting your response.
"No I don't."
"You do."
"I don't."
"You do, though?"
"Nope."
"Okay, you don't." He peers at you with raised eyebrows as if he's waiting for you to say something else entirely. You furrow your eyebrows at him.
"You don't get to reverse psychology me, Satoru."
"Not even once?" He raises his pointer finger with a pout of his lip causing you to slap his hand away.
"No!" You put your foot down on this conversation because you know if you don't, Satoru's just going to start to defy until he's going to get what he wants. "Point is, I don't and you can't keep sending me songs for whatever reason."
"I literally sent you them because it reminds me of you."
"You sent me Sour Grapes in the midst of shitting."
"Okay?" He shrugs his shoulders high as if that shouldn't be enough to convict him of murder or something. "That was one time! I told you after that it reminded me of you though?"
"Yeah, like I would want someone to tell me that when they werejust having explosive diarrhea in the dormitory toilets."
"You're kinda mean sometimes you know that?" He huffs as his shoulders droop. In this lighting, he looks like a puppy ripped off its precious treats. You prevent a smile from blooming on your lips.
"It's my charm," You wink at him. He flushes under your watch. At the embarrassed flush on his face, you let out a few chuckles—admiring the way the redness of his cheeks spread to his ears.
"And, cut!"
Your moment gets cut off by a loud clap mimicking a clapperboard. You both turn toward the culprit as Shoko stands with her hands outstretched in front of her and clasped against one another.
"That was a wonderful shot. I'm sure you'll get Couple of the Year at the KBS Drama Awards." Shoko smiles as she tucks her hands in her coat. Your face flushes and soon enough you duck out of the safety of the umbrella with hands outstretched to grab at Shoko. The girl squeals as you chase her inside.
Satoru on the other hand doesn't come in for a minute and a half.
05: Signal by TWICE
"You're keeping a playlist?"
Geto chimes in as he rests his chin on your shoulder. It's the weekend, the day is free, and there's nothing to worry about so you and Geto are in the comforts of the common room in your shared dormitory, playing about 5 rounds of Valorant since 12 in the afternoon.
You glance at Geto who peers into the list of songs. They're mostly Korean pop (He's that obsessed okay) ranging from Girls' Generation to AKMU to TWICE then a couple of NCT, SEVENTEEN, and even Mamamoo. He reprimands you to not lose them buried and laid to waste in your messages because he says, 'I sent them so that means they're carefully thought of and that also means you have to remember them because I said so!'
You responded with a smack under the head and an array of curses you jumbled together in an attempt to scare him off.
It didn't work.
"He just sent me Signal by Twice." You groan as you add yet another song to the lengthy playlist that you only just curated a few days ago. Your eyes take a short glance up at the computer screen with the waiting time on standby as your match queued up in competitive.
Geto pulls away from your shoulder and gives you a raise of an eyebrow.
"Okay, I'm just going to be real with you because all of this is physically making my bones hurt and I'm not even in my twenties," Suguru heaves a sigh. "You've got to be that fucking dense if you don't get that at all."
Suguru looks at you as if you've just murdered his precious 2-year-old Chinchilla named Tiana. You stare back at him with the same intensity.
"You and Shoko have been saying the most cryptic shit—Should I have assumed something?" You retort with a furrow of your eyebrows.
"Should you not have?" Geto doesn't want to be the one to relay whatever Satoru's thought process is but this just has to be one of the most blatant shit he could come up of. He thinks the problem is the fact that it's you.
(To be fair, Gojo's never serious about anything unless it's curses, sweets, or the photocard album collection he has of Huh Yunjin piling on his shelves.)
You throw your hands up in the air and make a series of wild gestures that Geto would’ve laughed at if it weren't for that vein almost popping out of your head.
"Damn, my bad if I didn't get the memo?" You claim with sarcasm, your shoulders are raised and your hands are too busy making circular motions and random movements just to make a point. Damn, Suguru's really trying not to laugh. "Should I have broken down every single writing process, thought, idea and symbolical allusions that these songs went through or something?"
"That's too much of an exaggeration but not technically," Suguru responds with a smile. "It's really just common sense."
A ding from your phone cuts off your conversation causing both of you to peer down at the screen of your phone perched on your knee.
You conversation with Gojo opens and a realization comes next.
You press on the link and immediately takes you to your Spotify. Your breath hitches.
"He sent me Must be Love," You blink slowly before glancing up at Suguru. "He sent me Laufey."
The two of you look at each other before your hand pulls up the live lyrics from below. Soon enough, you confirm your thoughts. Suguru purses his lips as he peers down at the song playing. He scrunches his nose. Oh my Lord, he's cringe.
Suguru repeats your words with a sigh. "He sent you Laufey."
+1 : Must be Love by Laufey
Finding Gojo was a piece of cake (No it's not).
The boy's always wandering about and Principal Yaga's complaints about his absences always left the three of you grappling at whatever possible evidence that might lead you to grabbing the collar of his shirt and dragging him back home.
It was a problem, sure, but it didn't take long with careful observation that Gojo always visits one or two sweet shops regularly when he's craving a cavity or his frequent quiet spots around campus that no one seems to even consider because everyone just assumes that the almighty six eyes user will not subject himself to the cramped and dusty space just to stream and vote on Mnet.
This time, it was easy—too easy that he's actually just in his room because it only took him one glance from Shoko staring into his soul as he tried to sneak out again for him to go back into his room with his tail tucked between his legs.
So yes, you think it's a piece of cake (It's not).
"Do you like me?"
You barged into his room, and marched up to the foot of his bed as he screamed like a little girl with you glaring down at him. He pulls his covers up to cover him even though he's fully clothed. It would be funny if you weren't fuming right now.
"What the fuck?! Privacy?!"
"Yeah, whatever," You roll your eyes before shoving him your phone with the playlist on screen. "Do you like me? Answer the question."
Satoru looks at you with wide eyes and disheveled hair as he peers down at your phone then back at you.
"Can this wait? I still have to watch another episode of Leniverse—"
"Wait, my ass," You snarl as you push him back flat on his bed causing him to squeak before climbing in and encasing him with your leg on each side of his hip and your arms beside his head. You peer down at his terrified eyes but flushed cheeks with a determined look on your face. "Did you hear me complain about you playing me Super Shy the other day? Or fucking Signal?"
"What's wrong with New Jeans?"
"Nothing's wrong with them, it's you who's fucking weird," Your fingers grip the sheets as your breath falters. "Sending me songs as if I'd get that shit."
"... I did say it reminded me of you ..."
"No shit, Sherlock? you think I'd waste the time to assume things?" You deadpanned. Your cheeks flush as you look down at him with pursed lips. "Say it."
His eyes glance at the expanse of your face, admiring your soft little imperfections before raising his hand to move the hair blocking the light from your face. There's a moment of silence before he smiles at you.
"Hey," He starts off light and cups your cheek. "Look, I'm just gonna make this simple for you. You've got two choices—"
There's a certain familiarity with the way he's trying to normally recite the words. You furrow your eyebrows at him. "Are you ... Are you reciting Mina's intro?"
Gojo flashes you an uneasy grin before closing his eyes as he hits his head back against the pillow in frustration. "I didn't expect to confess today. Give me a break."
"So you resorted to that?"
"You didn't exactly give me a chance did you?!" He complains, tone raising defensively. "Acting like you own the fucking room— Which you don't by the way! I'd have you know that my family funded this dormitory so technically I own it. You can't barge in like that! What if I was naked? Or masturbating? Or worse, looking at my Mark Lee pc collection?!"
"I'm not sure as to what the basis is when it comes to ranking those things from least to worst but—"
"Ah Ah Ah!" He sticks his palm against your mouth causing you to be cut off from your response. He continues off on a tangent. "I'm not done! You also so blatantly mounted me at my most vulnerable moment and didn't even let me speak when you tried to interrogate me about my feelings. What if I suddenly just kissed you if I succumbed to my raging hormones!?"
You stare, deadpan as he continues to ramble off.
"After all the work I did," He whines. "The songs! The careful deliberation—"
You tug off his hand with a harsh pull. "There was no careful deliberation with sending those songs because you just fucking sent them for no reason at all!"
"What do you mean?! They all have one thing in common! I told you it reminded me of you!" He argues back. You're both shouting and arguing at each other whilst still in that damned position and you both could care less with it when this is happening.
"You weren't exactly specific, were you?! How the hell am I to even perceive that when I don't know what I'm looking for?!"
"It's right in your face, Y/N!" Gojo exclaims. "All of them are about love. All of them are about liking someone. I can't stress it enough that I basically just sent them to you in different fucking fonts."
You gape at him from your position above as his face completely submerges in a sea of red.
"My bad for being so fucking cheesy! Don't give me that look because Suguru told me he cringed to oblivion when he heard Love Lee. My mental capacity is at an all-time low right now so my shitty ass K-POP playlist will have to do." He delivers one last chance to defend his dignity before letting out a defeated sigh. "So yes, I do like you. Happy?"
There's a pause of silence as you look down at him with a steady gaze. You were already aware of it the moment this idiot delved into your side of music. Sure, you had half a mind to at least understand why he was doing it in the first place but Gojo was skilled in being Gojo. In being himself.
Serious in certain things but not all. Arrogant, selfishly unselfish, and just outright an asshole in a good way. You're not really sure how to assume things when there weren't any reassurance that you could in the first place.
He was too good in being a friend and now as he peers up at you through his beautiful white lashes with the nervous flush on his cheeks, you're suddenly sure about something else.
"If you're not going to say something, can I please just watch Leniverse and wallow in miser—"
"Shut up, Satoru," You whisper as you lean down on your elbows and press your lips into his. He lets out a shaky gasp at the feeling of your lips against his. He responds with ease, encasing you in his arms as he pulls you down to completely rest your weight on top of him. Your hands make way to cup his cheeks as you kiss him deeper with a tilt of your head. He follows your lead quietly before softly pulling away at the slight loss of breath.
You two look at each other with a certain daze in your eyes from the kiss, gaze darting back and forth from your eyes to your lips. He licks his lips (your eyes carefully following the motion).
"You're an idiot, y'know that?" You cut the silence off with a tender smile on your lips as you rest your chin on his chest. "You could've just told me you liked me like y'know, a normal human being?"
Satoru rolls his eyes with a grin. "I'm not exactly normal, am I?"
You nod with careful consideration. "You have a point."
There's a pause of comfortable silence as the two of you gaze at each others eyes before Satoru feels for his phone under the covers. You watch him as you lay your head on his chest, watching as he pulls up his playlist and begins to play the last song he sent you.
Laufey's vocals soon echo in his room and the soft sounds of the guitar accompaniment creates a mellow vibe between the two of you.
"Thank you," You whisper, reaching up to place a chast kiss on his lips. He smiles at the peck of your lips. "I did love it. If it's not obvious enough, I do like you too."
Gojo chuckles with glee as he pulls you to rest beside him in his arms.
"Okay, enough of that. Let's make out now." He pulls you close with a pucker of his lips. You angle your head back away from his assault with a laugh pouring from your lips.
"Stop it!"
"Fuck wait, gotta set the mood—"
"What are you— Why the fuck are you playing White Tee—?! Get off Satoru or I will body slam you into wet concrete. I swear to God—"
"What if?"
"You're sick in the head."
"Thanks, I call it love."
a/n: I was gojo in this and i often sent my ex random ass songs with no context at all and she'd always be like ? HAHA we're just friends now and I still send her stuff and now she knows to put it in a playlist whenever I do it <3 neways hope yall enjoyed this. first time writing Gojo! so mb if it was a lil ooc, had to just get it off my chest and project through his character. teehee. also the playlist serves as actual part of the story! yall can imagine its gojo who curated it for u hehe. have a great week ahead yall!
update: someone sent me who i'd think gojo's ult group is,,, if it isnt obvious from the fic its lesserafim 🫶🫶 he's an avid huh yunjin pc collector but he also listens to other groups like girls' generation, IU, and a sprinkle of nct bc noise core is somehow so like him 😁☝️‼️
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Hey, thanks for the reply! Also sorry for using comments instead of reblogging, I own only a blog with goofy fancomics and I don't want to mix plot discussions into it. I hope you don't mind. If you want, you can cite this whole reply in another post, but I'm ok with anything.
When it comes to narrator reliability, I go for "reliable unless proven otherwise" approach. I agree here, that picking Obito's statements was not the best way to prove things because he had been proved to talk nonsense before. On the other hand, with how few glimpses of Madara's PoV we have, they are consistent with Hashirama's tale except for VoTE fight where Madara intentionally tricked Hashirama about his goals and the outcome. So I'm going to consider Hashi mostly reliable, also because his account is the last one we get, so if Kishimoto planned it to be false, not showing Madara's contradicting PoV (or at least hinting at it, which we don't get either) would be plain bad writing (still doesn't give 100% certainty, but I'd take this over the "God of the gaps" approach).
Even if we don't consider the info on Izuna's dying words true, Hashirama says that Madara had claimed that Izuna had been killed by Senju (also states it as a reason for not being able to trust Senju enough to make a truce), and Madara later confirms that Izuna had been in fact killed by Tobirama (the "Tobirama pin cushion" scene in War Arc). Also, we were never given an explanation for Uchihas turning their backs on Madara other than
prolonging the war
Madara allegedly stealing Izuna's eyes.
Both these things trace back to Izuna's death. One can try to give other reasons, but this would be entering headcanon territory at this point, so something that the reader wants to be true rather than something that the reader has actually been given.
As for Tobirama, he plays a way bigger role in his and Madara's paranoia than Madara, and his prejudice is largely ungrounded (however understandable because of his own traumas), but here are some things Madara did that could rile him up:
refusing truce for so long, stemming from Izuna's death (according to Hashirama)
pulling off the whole "it's either me or him" stuff twice (first one is when Tobirama calls Madara a lunatic, so this had started before the founding of Konoha): this also fits thematically with Izuna's death, because having no living brothers left would have put Hashirama and Madara in the same spot
attempting to nuke Konoha with Kurama (even if we assume that Madara didn't want to do it, he intentionally made this impression to lure out Hashirama, so Tobirama can't be blamed for believing it) which had been partially caused by Uchihas rejecting Madara which had been caused by… etc.
Tobirama explicitly says that his persecution of Uchihas was to avoid the rise of another Madara, but this is Tobirama we are speaking of, so take this with a grain of salt. Also, through grooming Obito, Madara played a significant indirect role in Uchiha massacre, but I wouldn't necessarily consider it intentional on his side (we can't tell to what extent Obito was guided by "Madara's will").
So in the end, his actions do bear characteristics of a self-fulfilling prophecy, although I admit that it's debatable how much Uchiha opression could have been avoided without Madara fueling every bad stereotype, because the prejudice didn't start with him. No Obito and no Kurama attack could have at least remove a convenient pretext for the massacre from the story, but it's absolutely possible that Konoha elders would have found another one.
I'm not saying all of this to prove that Madara wouldn't have pursued IT with Izuna alive (in fact, it would be interesting to see BZ sway Madara without killing Izuna). My point is that there are too many factors that more or less directly trace back to Izuna's death to confidently state the opposite.
entirely fair! and don't worry, plenty of people prefer commenting for various reasons; no offense taken
honestly, i tend to be more or less the same, although i actually think hashirama's story was probably pretty solid; he doesn't try at all to make claims for the stuff he wasn't there for. he doesn't even say "madara was definitely standing outside the window" he says "tobirama looked out the window and i found a leaf that looked like the one madara looked at the village through"
having said that, from what i remember, at some point kishimoto did end up pressed for time, and that seriously affected the quality of his work (and... let's be honest, the war arc was never naruto's best writing. the war arc wishes it had what the wave arc had)
i think the reason we never heard hashirama's take on why madara's clan distanced itself from him is bc hashirama can't really,,,, comprehend that? like madara explicitly says "no one in my family likes me :(" and hashirama goes "i don't believe that" like he has any way of knowing XD
personally, i'm fairly certain that tobirama killed izuna, and i have no reason to think otherwise (i guess it's possible that black zetsu personally snuck an infection into his wound somehow just to make sure he kicked it and madara got his eyes, but like you said that'd just be headcanon territory, and also it kinda doesn't matter since neither madara nor hashirama would have any way of knowing that, so neither would we)
frankly i personally like the idea that tobirama was just scared shitless of madara, but it's also possible that he held a grudge over the whole "kill u or ur bro" thing. probably not the other stuff tbh, since tobirama never seemed all that invested in the idea of a village before it was founded (probably just. didn't think it could happen), and madara trying to nuke the village didn't happen until after he'd left, so while it may have affected tobirama's relationship with the other uchiha, it didn't really affect his relationship with madara.
obito's role in the massacre was,,,, really badly handled tbh. and also part of why i suspect that the original concept of "tobi" (from a meta perspective) was meant to be madara's ghost possessing obito's mostly dead corpse. madara had a reason to resent the uchiha clan (although i don't think the character we meet in the war arc would've done that, even if the character we met after tobi's "reveal" might have), but obito never really got one. there were fan theories, but not a lot of solid canon evidence. it might've happened, since both obito and madara were justifying everything they did with "well they'll all be fine when the infinite tsukuyomi kicks in, so whatever"
if you keep izuna alive and don't remove black zetsu from the equation, then it's less of a "would madara still do this" question and more of a "how long until black zetsu manages to cause izuna's death and lead madara to do this" question. zetsu needed madara to get the eternal mangekyou sharingan, after all. if it was possible to do that while keeping izuna alive then that'd certainly be interesting, but it's not something zetsu would particularly care to pursue, especially when izuna dying makes it much more likely that madara will take his eyes. but black zetsu is black zetsu, so i'm sure it could figure something out.
if you take out black zetsu entirely, then it's hard to say if madara would've come up with the eye of the moon plan on his own, but i do still think he would've seen the village as a failure and left in the end. like you said, it's hard to say for sure, though.
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