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#c!dream ff
kenjo-arts · 1 year
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Himst
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dr3amofagame · 7 months
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The Birdhouse give their feelings on selfcest, more at eleven:
@kenjo-arts @theminecraftbox @cgogs
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bamjammy · 2 years
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My favorite part of the lore stream was when Wilbur Soot showed up and he and Quackity started making out!!!1!1!1!!!1
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nefkyo · 1 year
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Restless
a short fic about c!Dream's revival during the DSMP S1 Finale from c!Punz's point of view.
Characters: c!Dream, c!Punz, c!Tommy, c!Tubbo
Tags: implied death, necromancy (of course), blood, mania?, hurt-comfort (c!punz style)
The chants gave him a massive headache at first. When they tested the rites on each other, his head hurt for days like he was hangover - "Maybe this is what 'drunk on power' means", he thought without remorse. Though it wasn't just the adrenaline that made them keep trying until they'd get easier, roll faster on the tongue. It was the prospect of defying Death.
He didn't have a lot of time to do it. Tubbo and Tommy were already coming down the steps, the blonde up first with his shield drawn and his suspicions met. But he was ready, yes, he knew he'd have to perform the ritual without his corpse present. He grabbed his notes from his desk, read the runes, muttered the chant under his breath with precision. The runes may seem complicated to other people, but Dream had found the way to read them and even taught him how to translate them to English. He traced the pattern with his hands and concentrated. His muscles tensed to the point of pain.
Come on. Come on. You've done this a thousand times.
A dark flash. A strange rumble beneath his feet and a thunder of pure magic. The air went cold and then warm again as a pair of bloodied hands, then a head, then a full person crawled out of the portal that was there and gone again in a second. And just like that, he was back.
The moment his eyes were open, he gave chase. Tubbo and Tommy screamed in horror as they ran back up the steps and into the light again. They're cussing and shouting over eachother while Dream's beyond furious pace quickens, until he's almost grabbed one of them, yes, he's almost got his fingers locked around Tubbo's boot-- before he leaps out and kicks him in the face in the process, the entrance of the vault is blocked off with cobble.
The screams start to dissipate, the young ram barely noticing what he's just done. "Dream?" Punz calls from below the steps. No answer, just horrible sounds. Bate knuckles on stone. Blood. He isn't just angry. He's manic, frantic. They mustn't have noticed how he was staggering up the stairs, how his knees were almost touching the steps rather than push him forward. He's tired. He's confused.
And he doesn't hear him call his name over and over while he's on his knees, trying to dig his raw, bloody fingernails into the cobble. "Dream! Dream, hold on, stop!". He thinks for a moment about grabbing the emergency supplies before going back up, but even a second wasted sounds horrifying right now. He catches up to him, he sees the gash on his back, his arms stained in old and new crimson. Almost tentatively, then more gently, he has to put a hand on his shoulder. Dream almost jumps, hitting his head on the rocks. "It's me!" Punz says.
Dream looks at him, but without focus. "Punz-- Do you have a pickaxe? Quick, give me your pickaxe!" he scrambles together as he stands to his feet, and Punz is immediately fixed on the wounds he won't acknowledge. "Dream, take a minute--" "No, no, they'll get away, the pickaxe--" "Dream, they won't get far! They're out of breath and hurt!" Punz exclaims, then more softly adds "You're hurt."
The funny thing about revival is that it won't fully heal the person if it's done too quickly. The less funny part is that the person doesn't realize they're still wounded.
Dream looks down at his stomach, then at his hands. He stares a lot at his hands. "You've scared them enough, Dream. Take a breather." He murmurs, turning Dream's palms to inspect how he - yep, he did it again - almost crushed the bones in his hands to punch the barrier. Dream inhales with a tremble and Punz already knows to wrap an arm around him. His legs shake with no restrain, he looks so much smaller than he is. He mumbles apologies and gratitude in the crook of his neck and Punz just squeezes him lightly without a word while accompanying him to sit halfway on the blackstone steps.
Punz finally opens one of the Emergency Chests at the entrance of the vault, filled with milk, golden apples and all kinds of potions. "You're dizzy, aren't you?" Punz says with echo, remembering the motion sickness as a side effect. "A little", Dream lies. He helps him bring the glass of milk to his lips and sip calmly, scrutinizing the airflow in his chest until it evens out. But he also hears him too well when he spits "They got me. I know it was part of the plan, but they just... They fucking got me." Punz just nods and gives him the apple. "They're probably headed towards Tommy's house. They don't have anywhere - or anyone else - to go to." he adds before his partner bites into the apple and chews too quickly. He beings to walk up the steps, pickaxe in hand. "Remember to drink the Regen potion slowly." he reminds him. Dream sighs in response, which Punz likes to interpret as a 'thank you honey'.
The cobble barrier falls apart to let fresh air grace their faces. Dream's brushes pebbles off his mended armor, while Punz reaches his hand out to him. Climbing out they don't say anything, but they're thinking the same thing. They've been doing that more often, though they'll never find out they're doing it at all.
They won't get far. Let's go.
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falconfeather23435 · 2 years
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My friend, repeating a quote: “There’s two things that solve every problem: money & explosives! …I’ve got an idea!”
Me: “…that’s something canon Wilbur would say.”
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noxtivagus · 1 year
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ff & gbf 🥹🫶🏼
#🌙.rambles#MAKING ME EXISTENTIAL AGAIN 😭#what does it mean to be human??#hflkdasfjdslkf the blue sky..#what do you dream of? what is your reality?#loveless. god i love the lines so much#gbf lyrics like ain soph aur & existence & morning light hymnus#ffxiv specifically w shb!!!! 'to the edge'.. one of my fav songs fr :c#n then shadowbringers too like the song n then insanity n insatiable n invincible#i can't ramble enough i#i love fiction so much fr help#lyrics of all these songs n hdfasjdfdskfjdsklfj AGHHH I JUST LOVE THEM SO MUCH I HAVE NO WORDS#'what makes the sky blue?' :<<#'i still don't understand this world'#n then 'why' lyrics & ffxiii's 'eternal love' n#this is what i mean when i say i really don't#i don't know it's just a bit lonely with my mind like this?#of other world.. i do long to belong in this one too but perhaps i'm really not meant for it#'what kind of dreams did you dream? would you tell me / maybe i'll make them come true?'#i love. gbf so much. n ff too n hdjfalksdfjd#i love my reality too in a sense that w the ppl in it i wldn't trade this world away but#hermes kin; tell me tell me i'm not the only one who knows this loneliness? tell me you understand me tell me you really do#but. yk it's lonely bcs being distant from reality is when i feel the most free n i don't know what to do w that feeling#sigh thinking of it n i always need some sort of stimulation bcs wnvr i'm bored or not rlly using my mind i get. rather depressed#is it selfish of me to want a better reality for myself? to.. fly even higher? or am i already too close to the sun but blind to realize?#usually i wouldn't mind destroying myself but it's not the same as before bcs now i've become more connected w reality n#i don't want to lose this i don't want to mess up but.. oh no i did it again 🥹 but i'm fine#it hurts i have a lot of pain but remembering. my life. n myself. n love in general just comforts me a lot. i'll be fine somehow. as always#🌙.vents
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luxibox19 · 2 years
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Someone on twt just said that “c!dream might not be evil!” In the next season thingy of dsmp
And I-
No, dream will always be evil. As much as I love him and his silly little plans, he is an absolute monster
Also, I will riot if he becomes “a good guy”
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archiverstappen · 6 months
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the cat sitter (part 12) ✧ max verstappen
max verstappen x fem! reader
previous part | masterlist | next part
loosely inspired by the story on how max lost his cat
[max’s messages]
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- lando
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maxverstappen1
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liked by yourusername and 2.729.716 others
maxverstappen1 Took a short but much-needed break🙌🍀
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yourusername ?!??! DELETE RIGHT NOW
yourusername you’ve ruined my ‘calm and collected’ image for the world 💔
↳ username boo, i love you but you’re not fooling anybody😩
↳ maxverstappen1 ^^^^
christianhorner I’m looking forward to seeing you cry when Max is on the podium 😂
↳ yourusername with all due respect, sir horner. that will be the last time i cry at a race🙏🏼
↳ hannahschmitzf1 It’s okay Y/N, I got your back
bffusername wth is she doing in the 2nd pic😭
↳ maxverstappen1 Impersonating Bowser
bffusername thank you for making my best friend’s dream come true, you got my approval✅
↳ maxverstappen1 🙏🏼
username shut up and kiss already you guys
landonorris oH?!??!?? okay now I understand @/yourusername
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redbullracing CAN’T WAIT TO CRY TOGETHER🥹🫶🏼
↳ yourusername ADMIN PLEASE STOP EXPOSING ME🧎‍♀️
danielricciardo I’ve raised you well🥹
danielricciardo It only feels like yesterday when you called me and said that a crazy cat lady kidnapped your cat. Look how far we’ve come🥹
username i just love how this is the first non-related f1 post that we got after a long time from max
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_ author’s note: we’re back😎
taglist: @flwr-stella @reidsworld @myloverjk-blog @debss-319 @hiraethrhapsody @electrobutterfly @love4lando @lunnnix @allenajade-ite @jjsprobablywrong @whoreks @soleilgrec @oscarwildingsworld @christianpulisic10 @thievin-stealing @glitterf1 @elliegrey2803 @trouble-sistar @escapism-writer @cornerofacry @hollie911 @weasleyswizarding-wheezes @ad-astra-again @canyon-lwt @thecubanator2 @lifesuckslife @leclercloml @sunny44 @nmw-am @sachaa-ff @multilovebot @glow-ish @moneygramhaas @whitefireproofs @icarus-nex @iloveyou3000morgan @ccallistata @copper-boom @fictionalcharacterslut @celesteblack08 @maxiel-jpg @slytherheign @lunyyx @series-books-food @coffeehurricanes @shrimpyshrimp @somanyfandomsbruh @justcallmeelli @laneyspaulding19 @ironmaiden1313
pictures (c) to pinterest
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z3ny44 · 7 months
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Spoilers for Fionna and Cake Finale Double Episode Post
-Alright, episode 9 started of with a scare! That nightmare really seemed real for a second, and Marshall looked like Shoko when she fell into the radioactive river....
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Thank god it was a dream honestly, but the main even of this episode... The Lich begging for Golb to acknowledge his achievements, his success in ending all life on his reality, only to be denied of any form of gratification and to be stripped of his own reason and turned into a tetris block...
I really liked this bit, I think Fionna and Cake had the best moments of Lich alongside his speech in the Citadel episode. His expression, his posture, his rage alongside his struggle... How can a character so inherently impossible to kill, be absolutely finished by no more than a look from the one whom he called his scholar.
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Also Simon kicked him that's funny,, poor Jerry
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And Now, from the 1000+ years Ooo, we get to see Shermy and Beth again! They are vandalizing Gibbon's kingdom, that, in case you don't remember or don't know, he's the son of Charlie (Jake's daughter that played Card Wars)
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I really like 1000+ years Ooo. In a way its cozy but at the same time uncanny cuz you really don't know anyone... (I mean Marcy and PB are canonically alive but still they only appear in the Come Along with Me Intro) I wish it was a miniseries itself!!! Simon got TP'd to Shermy's head and still is trying to find a crown. They went to the library which is now ruled by the paper guys, and a robot in a turtle shell? uh,,, okay?
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And yeah basically the Scarab is back cuz Ellis P freed them,,, bruh.
-LAST EPISODE FFS PAWN SWAN IS CANON WOOO
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Okay but in all seriousness, the episode continued F&C dealing with the Scarab, and they just threw him all the guys that he imprisoned, which shows us what we already had a feeling since he caught Kheirosiphon: the Scarab just caught outlaw, independently if they are good or bad, most of these guys are reformed and have started a new life... he's just so shitty... like, look at these little Big guy :')
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Anyways, to get done with the F&C story, basically Prismo tp's the Peppermint tank, alongside with Jay, little Destiny and BABY FINN!! WHICH IS HUGE?! Finn is going to grow up in Fionna's universe, and if the series continues, we might even see a normal world grew up Finn (with grew up I mean like 15, lol) ALSO WE SEE TIFFANY
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Simon's side on the other hand,,, jeez I feel like I was synced with Simon in a way that I never really acknowledged Betty's sacrifice... She really did put everything on the side to be with Simon, and for his happiness.... not that it went by unnoticed, but it bugs me to think... what if they did it differently? What if he went on the trip with Betty... I mean to be fair we have the answer... he dies to vampires a couple years after, but how was the time he spent with Betty? What did they change? How did they change and grew even if it did not last forever....
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and if you think that this was the part that hit the hardest... buddy..
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Yeah,,, I think Betty isn't even there anymore, this was a goodbye... It wasn't explained but I think it was implied that she is gone... That Golb is back to his normal form... i don't know if this will have repercussions in the future? Maybe reform Lich and fuse with him?! I'm just throwing random ideas at this point.
-Final Opinion: This series was amazing, I'm always happy to have more Adventure Time content, it being my main artistic inspiration makes it so much more fantastic to see new characters, places and stories. It was definitely the best mini series so far. The funniest, the most interesting, and the prettiest visually. The epilogue was so heartwarming, Fionna being able to talk with Simon via sms, he's having therapy with Minerva, and PRISMO! Prismo now has the Scarab with him in the Time Room, they are going to make stories together hehe.
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(also there was a frame in which prismo's head was flipped? idk if it was an error wtf)
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ctinalk · 1 month
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Season two isn’t (fully) real, it’s a peaceful, fragile existence
The more I rewatch the show and read different theories, the more convinced I get that S2 is some sort of elaborate dream sequence or a distraction or memory alteration attempt (Neil’s chaotic angsty ineffable husbands fanfic?). But not all of it.
(This gets kind of rambly so if you want my true hook, scroll down to the Michael Sheen Staged gif.)
Let me make this perfectly clear on the outset: I don’t think all of it is a dream, and I certainly don’t think the final 15/kiss is or is going to be discounted (and not only because there would be literal riots in the street, because there absolutely would be, but also I’m putting trust in Neil and the team wholeheartedly). I think that could actually be the domino that brings them out of it. I read somewhere recently something along the lines of “something loved can never be truly forgotten” and I think that fits my theory perfectly. I’m also making no claims (yet) as to what I think is real and what I think is “enhanced”.
Also I apparently am either too far deep or cannot work the tumblr search function with any modicum of usefulness, so please link me to the posts I’m alluding to if you think it’s the right one. I will edit them in and sincerely apologize to the brilliant minds that exist outside the confines of the search function.
Now, On with the show:
You can be in charge of the biscuits
Maggie and Nina: Look, I get that recasts happen, they change the actor playing the character because of scheduling conflicts, etc. But to cast the actor/actress that is immediately recognizable from a prior interaction (whether with the characters or the audience) is not something you see. FFS Maggie DIED in S1, and Nina was pivotal (maybe too strong a word, but enough to be memorable surely) to the storyline. It’s like someone said “Hey, they’ll work, bring em in, no I don’t care that they were in S1. It’ll be a test of how well our facade is working. If they (A&C) notice, then the gig is up and we’ll know it.”
Also why in the world is the owner of a coffee shop offering Eccles cakes to calm down, when camomile tea is right there? (Resists the urge to go off on a tangent on how Eccles cakes were used to celebrate the “Eccles wakes” at the feast of St. Mary (yes that Mary) and how that ties into the second coming plot.) Do Eccles cakes count as biscuits? Ugh another thought for another day I suppose.
It has come to my attention during writing that Shax is the same actress as Madame Tracy. I have less of an affront to this knowledge since I’m 2 months deep and countless rewatches in and only just noticed. But I’m going to pop it in this header anyway. Are you really trying to tell me that a show that apparently has demon entrances happening precisely on the 6s really didn’t think these choices out very deliberately? (Edit 3: https://www.tumblr.com/noneorother/735823422626709504/the-secret-timeline-inside-of-good-omens-season-2 JFC why can I never find the blogs when I want to insert them? It was a breakdown about how all of the demon entrances happen at a 00:00 that ends in a 6.)
Yours very faithfully, Maggie
Text to mail disconnect: There’s been a theory pop up (at the time one writing this at least (edit 2: https://www.tumblr.com/azariah-z-fell/743434274903048192/it-is-extra-weird-because-it-is-on-the-record) that Maggie actually texted Aziraphale her request to talk, and it was magically translated into a physical form, and the spelling error (that so many people are shouting DEMON at) was just an autocorrect typo. But, surely Maggie would know he doesn’t text if she knew him for several years at least. We’ve never seen either of our boys text, only call. Seems like someone doesn’t know how phones work, but wanted to get the message received? See also: currency, below.
You ever think, what’s the point?
Numerous people have pointed out the same obvious background people. There are theories about the guy in the Hawaiian shirt being the second coming or something similar. I wonder if it’s some sort of play on a badly executed attempt to make Wickber Street seem “normal” in an alternate reality, an elaborate distraction, but they have to keep using the same character models because their imagination is just slightly better than Shadwells’ (Oh gfdi how did I miss Mrs. sandwich right there). I’m not saying we haven’t done a “oh oops silly me I forgot something” but that isn’t usually done in the middle of a sidewalk. When Aziraphale is initially talking to Jim with the blanket, there’s a guy just chugging his arms outside the window, not walking. Another one in E3 when Shax show up outside the shop, a guy in an orange sweatshirt passes in the background, then passes again, and not close enough in time/area to just be the continuation of the walk. Especially in the early episodes, there are veritable conveyer belts of people, straight lines, no trying to pass, etc. I’m trying to look at the background in S1 and while there are still tons of people, the background is… livelier. People passing, shoving past, actually going places.
“I’m looking at the statue of Gabriel.” “Oh, good job?”
Aziraphale basically learns fuck-all when he makes the trip to Edinburgh. Granted, I do believe most of that was to make the Bentley “our car”, but so many things are out of character. The no drink, the over-the-top “investigation” (as awkward as he is, Aziraphale knows how to act more normally than that with humans), the background on the drive up there…
All the others were taken (random collective thoughts)
Somehow ALL the businesses on the street are different from Season 1?
A normal person would have moved out of the rain instead of just lolling there letting raid splatter their glasses, yeah? (As a person with glasses I can confirm).
“We have all the hosts of hell searching for him” cue Crowley looking around like then why the fuck are there still demons around me?
The cross disappearing from the Gabriel statue between shots.
“I’m a bit out of miracles” and “that’s not how miracles work” from the guy who got written up for too many frivolous miracles.
I have here a sixpence and a farthing There’s always money in the banana stand
The lack of (accurate?) paid transactions seems like whoever is pulling the strings has no concept of earthly money and how it’s supposed to work, just that it exists. Crowley and Aziraphale talk bluntly about poverty and know that money is needed and used in current society (“Give her the money, Angel”, Rome, Globe Theatre, 1941 magic shop, etc.). Could be a “let’s not get lost in the trivialities” thing but it does strike me as odd. Caveat: Aziraphale forgiving the rent doesn’t quite fit, but cost of the record is obscenely low.
But this does give me hope about the 3rd 1941 flashback, because they were using money accurately there, which hopefully means the flashbacks and memories aren’t being altered, just “present day”.
We’re real people
One of the overarching themes in Season 2 (and S1 now I think of it) is “stop interfering in the lives of other people”. Maggie and Nina, Job, Elspeth, the entire dance party, Warlock, the book of prophecy. It would be a shame if someone were to make sure I failed to be messing about in their own lives.
I had brothers, you don’t scare me
Something happened just before Maggie told them to “Come in here and say that to my face.” Another demonic turn potential here, but also kind of like someone’s saying “FFS get on with the plot”.
The book of love has music in it
This post https://www.tumblr.com/noneorother/731977308306636800/all-the-music-you-didnt-hear-the-good-omens (finally, one I can find!) popped up, and there’s another one that purports to have noticed that there’s music lines missing from the opening sequence (edit 1: Found it!: https://www.tumblr.com/dadesu/726651737165938688/anyone-noticed-the-missing-half-bar-in-good-omens ). Possibly Clueing us in that there’s something that’s missing elsewhere (I mean obviously, that’s the whole point of this season, is it not?).
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So where do we go from here?
As much as I’d love to say “Alright so the kiss breaks the spell whoever was put over them because of ✨the power of love✨, the ruse will be revealed, and they’re not talking because they don’t have to”
I don’t know, my thoughts are just the overarching patterns I’ve noticed over many, many rewatches and probably reading a few too many magic trick theories and/or fanfics. I don’t intentionally make my theory posts open-ended, but in the end that’s the fun of it. Nothing has to be mutually exclusive (yes I’m referencing my “Is Crowley already the new Supreme Archangel” post, I think I’m allowed that much). I’m happy to be proven wrong, and probably will be.
Lots of things are wrong right now
But I will leave you with one parting thought: Crowley knows. He knows there’s furniture missing. (That’s why he keeps just tossing things everywhere, because he know it doesn’t matter.)
And he. Does not. Care. For it.
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How many theories that I myself hate can I dig into?
I’m a demon, I lied:
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kenjo-arts · 1 year
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c!Dream and ff!Dream but kitty cat
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misfitwashere · 6 months
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If You Don't Know Medicare Advantage Is a Scam, You're Not Paying Attention
We’re on the edge of the open enrollment period for Medicare, and the Advantage scammers will be carpet-bombing America with advertisements over the next few months. Don't be fooled about what it is—and who is profiting.
Thom Hartmann
Oct 07, 2023
Common Dreams
President George W. Bush and Republicans (and a handful of on-the-take Democrats) in Congress created the Medicare Advantage scam in 2003 as a way of routing hundreds of billions of taxpayer dollars into the pockets of for-profit insurance companies.
Those companies, and their executives, then recycle some of that profit back into politicians’ pockets via the Citizens United legalized bribery loophole created by five corrupt Republicans on the Supreme Court.
Just the overcharges happening right now in that scam are costing Americans over $140 billion a year: more than the entire budget for the Medicare Part B or Part D programs. These ripoffs — that our federal government seems to have no interest in stopping — are draining the Medicare trust fund while ensnaring gullible seniors in private insurance programs where they’re often denied life-saving care.
Real Medicare pays bills when they’re presented. Medicare Advantage insurance companies, on the other hand, get a fixed dollar amount every year for each of the people enrolled in their programs, regardless of how much they spent on each customer.
As a result, Medicare Advantage programs make the greatest profits for their CEOs and shareholders when they actively refuse to pay for care, something that happens frequently. It’s a safe bet that nearly 100 percent of the people who sign up for Advantage programs don’t know this and don’t have any idea how badly screwed they could be if they get seriously ill.
Not only that, when people do figure out they’ve been duped and try to get back on real Medicare, the same insurance companies often punish them by refusing to write Medigap plans (that fill in the 20% hole in real Medicare). They can’t do that when you first sign up when you turn 65, but if you “leave” real Medicare for privatized Medicare Advantage, it can be damn hard to get back on it.
The doctors’ group Physicians for a National Health Program (PNHP) just published a shocking report on the extent of the Medicare Advantage ripoffs — both to individual customers and to Medicare itself — that every American should know about.
The report, titled Our Payments, Their Profits, opens with this shocking exposé:
“By our estimate, and based on 2022 spending, Medicare Advantage overcharges taxpayers by a minimum of 22% or $88 billion per year, and potentially by up to 35% or $140 billion. By comparison, Part B premiums in 2022 totaled approximately $131 billion, and overall federal spending on Part D drug benefits cost approximately $126 billion. Either of these — or other crucial aspects of Medicare and Medicaid — could be funded entirely by eliminating overcharges in the Medicare Advantage program. “Medicare Advantage, also known as MA or Medicare Part C, is a privately administered insurance program that uses a capitated payment structure, as opposed to the fee-for-service (FFS) structure of Traditional Medicare or TM. Instead of paying directly for the health care of beneficiaries, the federal government gives a lump sum of money to a third party (generally a commercial insurer) to ‘manage’ patient care.”
With real Medicare and a Medigap plan, you talk with your physician or hospital and decide on your treatment, they bill Medicare, and you never see or hear about the bill. There is nobody between you and your physician or hospital and Medicare only goes after the payment they’ve made if they sniff out a fraud.
With Medicare Advantage, on the other hand, your insurance company gets a lump-sum payment from Medicare every year and keeps the difference between what they get and what they pay out. They then insert themselves between you and your doctor or hospital to avoid paying for whatever they can.
Whatever you decide on regarding treatment, many Advantage insurance company will regularly second-guess and do everything they can to intimidate you into paying yourself out-of-pocket. Often, they simply refuse payment and wait for you to file a complaint against them; for people seriously ill the cumbersome “appeals” process is often more than they can handle.
As a result, hospitals and doctor groups across the nation are beginning to refuse to take Medicare Advantage patients. California-based Scripps Health, for example, cares for around 30,000 people on Medicare Advantage and recently notified all of them that Scripps will no longer offer medical services to them unless they pay out-of-pocket or revert back to real Medicare.
They made this decision because over $75 million worth of services and procedures their physicians had recommended to their patients were turned down by Medicare Advantage insurance companies. In many cases, Scripps had already provided the care and is now stuck with the bills that the Advantage companies refuse to pay.
Scripps CEO Chris Van Gorder told MedPage Today:
“We are a patient care organization and not a patient denial organization and, in many ways, the model of managed care has always been about denying or delaying care – at least economically. That is why denials, [prior] authorizations and administrative processes have become a very big issue for physicians and hospitals...”
Similarly, the Mayo Clinic has warned its customers in Florida and Arizona that they won’t accept Medicare Advantage any more, either. Increasing numbers of physician groups and hospitals are simply over being ripped off by Advantage insurance companies.
Not only is the Medicare Advantage scam a screw job for healthcare providers and people who are on the programs and are unfortunate enough to get sick, it’s also preventing Americans from getting expanded benefits from real Medicare.
As the PNHP report notes, for real Medicare to provide comprehensive vision, dental, and hearing benefits to all Medicare recipients would cost the system around $84 billion a year, according to the Congressional Budget Office.
Instead, though, the Medicare system is burdened with at least that amount of money in over-payments to Medicare Advantage providers — over-payments that have no health benefit whatsoever and merely inflate the companies’ profits.
A hundred billion dollars in excess profits can be put to a lot of uses, and the health insurance industry is quite good at it. The former CEO of UnitedHealth, “Dollar” Bill McGuire, for example, made off with over $1.5 billion dollars for his efforts.
And, because five corrupt Republicans on the Supreme Court legalized political bribery with their Citizens United decision, some of these companies allocate millions every year (a mere drop in the bucket) to pay off loyal members of Congress and to dangle high-paying future jobs to high-level employees of CMS who have the power to keep the gravy train going and thwart prosecutions.
As PNHP noted:
“Medicare Advantage is just another example of the endless greed of the insurance industry poisoning American health care, siphoning money from vulnerable patients while delaying and denying necessary and often life-saving treatment. While there is obvious reason to fix these issues in MA and to expand Traditional Medicare for the sake of all beneficiaries, the deep structural problems with our health care system will only be fixed when we achieve improved Medicare for All.”
We’re on the edge of the open enrollment period for Medicare, and the Advantage scammers will be carpet-bombing America with advertisements over the next few months. Representatives Pocan, Khanna, and Schakowsky have introduced the “Save Medicare Act” that would ban Advantage companies from using the word Medicare in their advertising.
They made a video about it that’s well worth sharing with friends and family:
youtube
As Schakowsky, Khanna, and Pocan note, “Only Medicare is Medicare.” Don’t be fooled by the Medicare Advantage scam.
And now that you know, pass it on and save somebody else’s health!
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march2nd · 4 months
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STORM IS BREWING
FORGET ME (not) m.list next
chapter I - storm is brewing
please note that I do not follow canon in this one , basically i have read the hunger games series a long time ago, and i can't read it again bc reading finnick's death scene pains me (that's why I am writing this ff, to give him a deserved happy ending). also english is not my first language!
tw: canon typical violence, mentions of psychological distress, allusions to prostitution , reader is still a minor in this chapter!
word count: 1762
You think that all the odds are now against you. With your sister Diana missing since yesterday you are not feeling confident anymore. Maybe you were too harsh, maybe she is being too stubborn. You two were never too close, with your conflicting personalities. Even though Diana was the older one you could not fathom how did she manage to live her unrealistic dreams of freedom. Deep down you know her doings could only bring doom for your family. In your eyes she is too detached from the realisty and in her eyes you are too pragmatic.
Right now you are getting ready for the reaping. You have to keep reminding yourself that the chances of being chosen are extremely low. You personally know people who's name has been put more than forty times. This gives you hope because someone has ten more chances of being pulled over you. You know that you would have not survived in that area, you are not a born killer. When your father was alive he took you and Diana to train from time to time. He was a wise man, as he thought that those are skills that you could need at any time. Unfortunately for you, it was a few year ago when he was more often at home than not and you did not pay much attention to it as you considered that stupid at that time, as your names were not even once put on the list. You can make a fire and recognize most of the plants that are growing in your district. Your father even managed to smuggle an encyclopedia containing pictures of other, less common ones. Even thought the book is yellow from old age and some pages are missing it is still your favorite thing. Elena once took it and after briefly skimming through memorized all the plants and its names. It deeply amazes you, how her brain works.
During the illegal training with your father Diana turned out to be very skilled in terms of combat. You would fight with her using toy knifes that you would both create from wood. You enjoyed the creating part more than the actual fight. In your life you had never won with Diana. Your father said you had to train until you win with your own sister. It used to deeply upset you and created an unnecessary rivalry until you found a way to trick her once. You were sick of tired of always loosing. Your sister at that age was a lot taller than you and had some muscle definition as she wasn't stuffing herself with candy as you did. You came to your usual spot with a wire in hand and wired the area around you. You memorized when the wire was, even thought the ground was covered in leaves and was nearly impossible to spot it. When it came to your usual fight instead of giving it your all at first you thrusted in the air few times, missing her on purpose. You could see it in her eyes, the fire rising as she realized that another victory was ahead of her. You opened your [e/c] eyes wide, faking being surprised. You turned on your feet and started running, hoping just over the wire. Your sister missed that, as she was sprinting to you, wanting to have it over already. That's when she tripped and fell. You felt bad for a millisecond until you sat on her back and held the knife over her exposed neck as a sign of having the upper hand. "Now I win" you said, not trying to hide your growing smile. Finally. You looked at your father for approval and could see a shine in his eyes in a moment. He gave you a knowing look. You felt so happy, being validated by your own father as he was usually frowning at you, giving you dissatisfied looks. On the other hand, Diana was furious. She accused you of being a dirty little cheater 'it is a knife fight, its point is not to create the most barbaric looking trap ever' she commented. As a consequence she wasn't talking to you for some days after, but after that when she realized that you two didn't have to wake up early anymore to train she seemed grateful and your relationship went back to normal. That meant occasional bickering and some fights but nothing major. It all changed after the death of your father. She and Stella got so much closer and you started to take more care and pay more attention to Elena. You used to envy their relationship, as they were like best friend in your eyes. And Elena, could never understand you just like you couldn't understand her and her episodes. What didn't help was the fact that she was still a little kid when you were in the middle of puberty. Now Stella seems to not be found of Diana, and is orbiting closer to you and mom. You pitty your second sister as she seems to be so bitter inside and burn every bridge she has. You wish she was different or at least more accepting.
As you are getting ready Stella comes to your and Elena's room. She is holding a small parcel. "For you," she unpacks it in front of you, "I figured you would like to look pretty for your first real reaping."She smiles, but it does not reach her eyes. It is in fact, a beautiful dress. It is bright orange, reaching your knees, with puff sleeves. It will make you look like a princess but at the same time not because of the color that is not that far away from red - color associated with blood. All the new clothes you got right now are from your sisters, that outgrew them already. Most of the clothes were sold at the market, bringing joy for whoever got them. Unfortunately for Stella, she kept some of her dresses to look more appealing for richer men.
"I will save you," you think while making your lips into thin line. "You don't like it?" Stella questions you with disappointment in her eyes. "No, I just thought I would never look as beautiful as you in that dress." You lie as not to upset her. She thinks you are speaking nonsense and reassures you that you have only turned seventeen recently and that you shouldn't compare yourself with a grown woman. She is telling the truth, but as for now you don't care. For now you are not an object of desire and don't have to consider the same line of job as she does. This brings relief to you.
You dress yourself as Stella styles your hair. You notice her nails are colored a nice color that matches her [e/c] eyes. You tell her that and she blushes. You realize she does not want to share the nail polish with you or anyone. She bought it for her own saved money, from the job she hates, to make herself feel more beautiful. You understand it but you are sure that if you were her you would share it with your sisters. It is the small things that matter. After some time you look at herself in the mirror. Stella remarks that you look just like her when she was younger. It might be true as you look at yourself - your hair, now braided exposes your face that you normally hide under all the hair you let loose. She playfully pinches your cheeks. "Not so chubby anymore, huh?" she says with a hint of sadness in her voice. After everything you couldn't allow to buy your beloved sweets anymore. This is not just a symbol of change in appearance but also fall in status. "When you grow up you will be the most beautiful girl here," she says and kisses your forehead. Your sister is extremely nice to you, but there is something that you both know. Beauty can be considered a curse around here, as it endangers women to certain line of work.
However, if you manage to secure your dream job in the Capital everything will change, you won't stop by just helping women in your family, but if you are able to other young girls who are forced to make a choice how to earn for living. You smile and hug your sister. You wish you could do the same with Diana and Elena, but Diana is nowhere to be found and Elena hates when anybody touches her.
You and your family of four go to the central square. District 3 is one of the most populated districts. As a result there are a lot of children and teenagers who are eligible for the reaping. Your mother stays in the back with Elena who is disinterested seems to be counting the cobblestones. Knowing her, she is trying to estimate how many stones were used in building this place and how long did it take to polish everything off. There is also a privileged group far in the back which you used to be a part of that does not take part in it at all. They are just there to watch who is being chosen to die a miserable death. Stella walks with you to get your blood taken and then to your sector with other seventeen year olds. She reminds you to take deep breaths. Other teenagers look at you like the odd one out, having to be accompanied by an older sister, but truth be told you are shaking and nothing you say to calm yourself down helps. The short propaganda film starts playing and you bring yourself to focus on what's before you.
In Districts like yours, where there are much more people than in the outer ones instead of using paper cards for dramatic effect they use the computer to chose, as the bowls containing the names would have to be comically big. The machine starts as the escort clicks the button. The names that are chosen are only known to her eyes.
You hear your last name being called. "[L/n]?" She makes a pause "[L/n]?" You think that it is impossible, Elena's name is not there even once and Diana and Stella are both over eighteen already. You feel like fainting. It is you, you are the tribute from District 3.
NOTES:
devil works hard but i work harder, 2 chapters in one day!
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captainnightflare · 6 months
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People Watching (Hermione Granger x Reader FF)
So this is my first official fanfic that I’ve put off for a long time. I’ve been wanting to practice more in writing and see how it goes 🫠
I do have a wattpad for this story as well so if anyone is interested it’s under the same name as the one listed above. I’m currently in the middle of writing the second chapter 😅 so let’s hope I don’t take too long writing that one.
Anyways I hope you all enjoy ♥️✨🥲
Chapter 1
Y/n had head over heels fallen for Hermione Granger. Who won’t? The girl was charming, brillant, and just an overall dream of a girl to have. That’s all she is to Y/n. A dream, very far from reach.
That didn’t stop her from daydreaming of the brunette all through potions class though. “Y/n!” Snape snapped at the girl.
“Huh?” Blinking, the young woman was pulled from her cloud nine when she heard the snickers of her peers, daring to glance around her eyes immediately were drawn to the girl that caused said daydreams.
She was giving her a slight point look, signaling her to the text they were currently on.
Love potions.
“Y-yes sir?”
The potions master was giving this class a special visit due to everyone’s advancements on the course. Even in their last year, the graduating class had an overwhelming amount of students wanting to increase their knowledge of the subject. Of course Hermione Granger would be one of them, and of course Y/n followed the girl’s lead.
“Tell me girl, what is the main ingredient found in all love potions?” Snape asked.
“Pearl Dust sir.” She replied.
The y/h/c could have swore she saw the dark haired teacher smile at her. It gave her the chills.
“Correct Ms. Y/l/n, I expect nothing short from someone of Ravenclaw. Now if the rest of you would please turn..”
Signing the y/h/c turned back to her textbook, tuning the rest of her class out as she used her pencil to tap a beat out. This damn song has been stuck in her head. It started slow and silent to not draw the attention of anyone around her.
Before long she was softly singing,
“I end up all alone but I still keep hoping.” A smile began to spread.
“I wanna feel all that love and emotion. Be that attached to the person I’m holding. Someday, I’ll be falling without caution. But for now, I’m only people watching.”
The beat and her voice came to an end as the bell rang. Grabbing her stuff Y/n made her way out the door into the busy halls. Ignorant of the soft brown eyes following her out.
Y/n made her way to the Ravenclaw dorms still humming that song, looking around to be sure no one would be she started to sing again,
“I’m only looking just to live through you vicariously.
I’ve never been in love, not seriously.” Mimicking the hit of drums the young woman made her way up to the entrance of the chambers.
“I had a dream about a house behind a picket fence.
Next one I choose to trust, I hope I use some common sense.”
“So that was the song you were tuning to in Potions.”
The sudden elegance of Hermione’s voice nearly sent Y/n straight into the wall. “Jesus, Hermione! When the hell did you get here? You damn near gave me a heart attack.” The girl had her hand over said racing heart.
“I apparated, how else would I catch up to you?” The curly haired girl replied with a teasing tone.
“Well.. you have a point.” The flush covering the girl’s cheeks was almost radiating. God, she did not expect Hermione to hear her sing.
The small silence over took the girls as the Ravenclaw student went to open the chamber. Finally feeling the heat from her face fade.
“You have a lovely voice Y/n.” The young brunette whispered.
And with that she nearly trips into the wall again, only to catch herself with her hands right before her face hits. “Y/n?!” Hermione rushes to the girl gently pulling her arm up and away from the stone wall.
“S-sorry!” Y/n stutters out as her face continues to turn a darker shade of red, a small laugh escaping her. “I’m sorry, I’m not used to hearing people compliment me like that.”
“Well you should get used to it, like I said you have a lovely voice. If you decide to use it more, expect more compliments like that Y/n.”
“Heh, you’re insane Granger.” The flush settled down to light blush as the girl was finally able to open the chamber. “I’m guessing from your sudden appearance you’re wanting to study together again?”
That cocky smirk was the y/h/c answer as she was pulled by Hermione through the common towards her dorm. “You ask as though we haven’t been doing this since second year.”
“Hey! First year you didn’t even want to study together because you enjoyed your precious alone time.”
“Yes well, that was my teenage angst trying to push you out before you got bored of me and left me to my studies alone.”
“You’re a mad woman if you think I’ll leave you alone anywhere Granger.” Y/n laughed as she ran up the stairs, completely missing the adoring blush coating her crush’s face.
“Dolt..” Hermione muttered softly before rushing after the girl.
“Ughh… Mione! My brain is going to explode.”
Sighing, the girl closed her book and looked toward Y/n who was spawned on the floor surrounded by books. “I completely doubt your brain will explode from the knowledge you just consumed.”
“You don’t know that.. There’s no studies proving that wrong.”
“There’s also no studies proving that right.” A small giggle slipped from the brunette as picked another book up before beginning to read again.
The y/e/c witch let out a huff before focusing herself back on her work. It wasn’t really working as she let her pencil begin to tap a familiar beat on her book. One that didn’t go unnoticed by a brown eyed witch, trying to subtly as possible see if the y/h/c witch will start singing.
To her credit she did begin to hum to the beat, small and soft mutters of the song coming through her voice.
“That wasn’t funny but she laughed so hard, she almost cried.
They’re counting months they’ve been together, almost 49.
She’s making fun of how she acted ‘round the holidays.
She wears a ring but they tell people they’re not engaged.”
Hermione’s eyes sparkled as her friend’s voice grew with each passing lyric. The beat of her pencil became more pronounced.
“They met in class for metaphysical philosophy
She tells her friends, ‘I like her 'cause she's so much smarter than me’
They're having talks about their futures until 4:00 a.m.
And I'm happy for them.”
Y/n’s voice began to grow with emotion as she let herself be lost in the song.
“But I wanna feel all that love and emotion
Be that attached to the person I'm holding
Someday, I'll be falling without caution
But for now, I'm only people watching”
The soft beat of the y/h/c pencil slowed as she let the tune fade with her voice. Finally taking a breath she felt a smile grow on her face. Turning her complete attention to her work. Failing to notice the curly haired Gryffindor stand from her bed, quietly approaching her.
‘I love you’, thought Hermione. ‘God, I love you Y/n’. The brunette carefully crouched down to meet the Ravenclaw’s gaze.
Said girl noticed her presence as she looked up. She gave the Gryffindor a crooked smile, “Hello Granger.”
Hermione smiled back, “Hello Y/l/n.”
The two held their loving gaze for what seemed like hours before Hermione slid her hand under Y/n’s chin, tilting her head higher. The tension was rising as their eyes connected with one another. The y/e/c and brown eyes drifted to each other’s lips. Y/n slowly swallowed as she felt heat rise to her face, “H-Hermione..?”
A small hum was given to the girl’s question as she felt her brown haired friend’s lips hover over her own as her breath hitched. “Y/n.”
‘This can’t be real. Hermione’s gonna–’
“Y/n.” That sweet angelic voice pulled her gaze back to her crush’s eyes.
“Hermione–”
“Y/n, wake up.”
“What?” Confusion set on the girl’s face. Her vision was blurring the beautiful face in front of her.
“Y/n wake up, it’s getting late.”
“What are you talking about?”
“Y/N!”
The sudden jolt of her slumber sent the y/h/c girl down to the floor with her papers. Groaning, as she laid on the cold floor. It was a dream. One sweet torturous dream.
“Jeez you were in some deep sleep weren’t you?” Asked Hermione.
“You have no idea.” The Ravenclaw muttered as she pushed herself off the floor, dusting off her uniform pants. She looked up to see her friend had packed her books and papers in her bag, ready to walk to her dorm. “You’re heading out?”
Sighing, the girl swung the bag over her shoulder adjusting it a bit from the weight, “I am. It’s getting closer to dinner time and you know how the boys are when I don’t show on time.”
A small chuckle escaped Y/n, “Oh I know, they worry for you. It’s sweet.”
The groan of protest came out of the burnett’s mouth, “It’s annoying. I am more than capable of protecting myself.”
“Trust me, you don’t have to tell me that Granger. I’ve seen first hand how hard of a right punch you can throw. Specifically at Malfoy.”
The beginning of a blush spread across Hermione’s face, “I really wish you would forget that.”
Smirking, the Ravenclaw girl made a show of putting up her hands in a boxer’s position. “And forget the day the genius Hermione Granger put Malfoy in his place? Absolutely not.” Laughing as she saw her friend hurry towards the door.
“Okay! Bye Y/n!” Said friend was about to reach towards the door when another hand appeared and opened it for her. Looking up and seeing a giggling Y/n. “Oh come on Granger, you know I gotta walk you.”
“Fine, but you have to carry my bag for me then.”
“Gladly.”
The two students made their way towards the Gryffindor dorms. Chatting about their day and studies.
“Honestly ‘Mione, you should slow down and enjoy our last year in Hogwarts. Have some fun, hell even go to a party with those hyper boys of yours.” Y/n teased as they turned the corner.
“Please, I doubt I’m missing anything. Besides, I could say the same to you. I never see you attend any gatherings or parties.” The girl pointed out as she turned towards her friend.
The y/h/c girl had at least the decency to look embarrassed before throwing her hand behind her head and turning away from her crush. A nervous tick the Gryffindor had picked up their third year.
“Well you never want to go to those, I don’t want to go without you.” The Ravenclaw muttered. Totally missing the blush now decorating said crush’s face.
“I-I didn’t realize..” Hermione whispered.
“It’s no big deal. Really. I just wanted you to have a bit of fun, you know, to make some memories with me.” Y/n carefully replied.
It wasn’t untrue. The girl did want Hermione to have fun, but there was also a selfish part of her that wanted to share some firsts with Hermione. First New Year's kiss which was quickly thrown out the window by Viktor. First dance, also Viktor. First kiss in the rain, Ron was able to score that. There wasn’t not many romantic gestures the y/h/c could do now for the girl that wasn’t already upstaged by her ex-boyfriends.
Sighing, the girl adjusted her friend's bag over her shoulder and both continued to walk in silence. ‘I’ve never really been in love, not seriously at least.’ Y/n thought. Sure she has had her fair share of girlfriends over her years in Hogwarts. But every time she looked into their eyes she couldn’t help but remember the chocolate brown eyes she looked for in the crowds of the hall. Every time they went to her Quidditch games she wished it was Hermione’s voice cheering her on.
The atmosphere had a heavy weight to it. Both girls were lost in their thoughts. Hermione not realizing until now that Y/n has been wanting to experience these sorts of things with her. Wanting to send some quality time together outside their classes and studies. The young witch bit her lower lip as she glanced at the y/e/c girl. ‘She never asked, she wanted me to want it for myself. She wanted both of us to have fun.’
Both girls came to stop at the dorm’s entrance, ‘Maybe I can change that.’ Hermione thought.
“Y/n–”
The loud opening of the Gryffindor’s common room entrance interrupted the curly haired brunette as a figure appeared.
“Oh Y/n, Hermione, what are you two doing out here?” Ginny asked.
“Oh uh, I was just walking Hermione to her dorm, we just got done studying.” Y/n replied as she handed the girl back her bookbag.
If you want to call Y/n falling asleep for the last hour of their studying as just done.
“Well I’ll leave you to it then. Also Y/n are you still going to perform at the festival?” The redhead asked.
“If you and the rest of the group are going to help me perform then definitely.” A small smile graced the y/h/c girl’s face.
Confused by their conversation Hermione asked, “Festival? What festival?”
Before Y/n had a chance to explain Ginny butted in, “Oh Y/n didn’t tell you? A bunch of Seniors are going to be hosting a small festival. It’s this weekend, a bunch of us are going to perform an act or song.”
“O-oh I didn’t realize..” The brunette replied softly.
“I was going to tell you later tonight at dinner, I wasn’t sure if you wanted to come and see us perform.” Y/n said, her hands coming back behind her head as she glanced down and playing with the imaginary rocks on the floor with her shoe. ‘I wasn’t sure if you wanted to come see me perform.’ She selfishly thought.
“I would love to.”
Snapping her head towards the young genius Y/n saw her staring straight into her own eyes. “What?” Both her and Ginny asked. It seems as though even their redheaded friend was taken aback by the witch’s reply.
“I’d like to see you– I mean both of you perform.”
“Really?” Y/n asked with a hint of excitement laced in her voice. Was Hermione really going to go see her?
“Of course, I would have said yes if you asked me you know.”
“R-right! I mean I was planning on asking you tonight but–”
“Don’t worry about it. I guess I’m seeing you this weekend then?”
“Yes! Yes, of course you will. Uh there’s no real dress code. Casual ya know? There’s going to be some vendors and games set up. Performances will start around 7 pm, we’re the finishing act so it'll be a while before you see us.” Y/n rambled on, she was clearly ecstatic from the news of Hermione going.
Which clearly did not go unnoticed by a certain redhead, she and the girls from the Gryffindor, Ravenclaw, Slytherin, and Hufflepuff had a betting wager going on for when these two got together.
“I’ll be there.” Hermione smiled.
Y/n couldn’t hold herself back as she flung herself towards her crush. “Brilliant! I promise ‘Mione you won’t regret it!” She exclaimed.
A small dust of red settled on the girl’s cheeks as she hugged Y/n back. “I doubt I will with you handling it.”
Chuckling the y/h/c pulled back to stare briefly at her friend before letting her go and turning back towards the lunch hall. “Ginny will fill you in on the details Granger. We’ll make sure you get a front row seat to our song.”
“Wait, you're all singing?”
“Ha! She wishes, nope Y/n is going to be the only one singing and playing the drums.” Ginny teases.
“Wait! Y/n you can play the drums?” Obviously hearing her sing earlier the brunette wasn’t too surprised by that bit of information.
A snicker came from the y/h/c, “I gotta keep you on your toes Granger, don’t be surprised when I keep a few tricks and secrets up my sleeve.” With one wink the girl sprinted towards the lunch hall.
The blush seemed to have spread to the girl’s ears as Hermione could do nothing more but admire the retreating form of her friend. ‘I’m so screwed.’ She thought.
Giggling from a certain Weasley snapped her out of her trance making the girl glare. “Not one word Ginny.”
“I didn’t say anything.” Holding her hands up in defense the redheaded witch let the girl pass her as she made her way towards her dorm.
Well, this weekend was certainly something Hermione was looking forward to.
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falconfeather23435 · 1 year
Text
hi, Liar by The Arcadian Wild is a c!Wilbur coded song & that is all I have to say, goodnight
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noxtivagus · 1 year
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good morning!!!! i had a pretty cool dream ehe
#🌙.rambles#it's a bit dark again tho so.#tw death#my dreams r usually dark fr 😭😭 ngl i'm still a bit. shaken after that one dream i had when i napped tho :<#that was a bit dark in a too personal way i was crying in my dream n i ended up crying sometime irl too#OK BUT! i find it so funny my dreams r so dark usually#oh just. random thought first but i've probably become a lot more comfortable n free w myself again n. fiction yeah bcs#i've been distant from reality but it's alright. this is fine.#seems i can't have both at the same time :^) so much for balance but i don't want to lose myself again so i'm fine with this#i'm fine with letting some stuff falling apart (lie) i was crying abt that but AGHH FUCK NVM#i don't think i slept very well ffs i really didn't mean to ramble again like this but#it's just like how i wrote it two years ago n that's why. that's why i'm rlly such a loss as to what to do bcs two years ago was a very#hfdkflsjdflk time for me :c#it's v important n special bcs of my youth in a good way w video games n stories n writing but then.. simultaneously one of my worst years#it's always rather balanced#that said reading that story i wrote reminded me i'm the type to. oh man i'm quite the hypocrite huh#idc how cringe or embarrassing that thing i wrote was it. it really touches me still w how.. yeah the 'reader'. who's basically#a self-insert ngl but i posted it on tumblr once so YKYK#denying n hiding what they rlly desire. convincing themselves that others r satisfied that others r content; they have what they want alrdy#n so it was fine to hide in the shadows regarding. some things. as to not ruin reality with some faraway dreams that they were#undeserving of. unreachable.. like the moon like the stars. in a cold night; undeserving of warmth#longing in general. always secret. maybe that's why freedom means so much to me#nyways yeah. that feeling of 'this is enough' n more than i could ever have hoped for n#to not. fuck things up they wld hide in a way. too hesitant too afraid to reach out#i think i've known that feeling well for most of my life but just in different ways. i'm glad at least i could identify it now#for the longest time i've been meaning to rewrite that story now that i'm older to see how it wld improve but maybe i'm still afraid of the#extent of how it'll force me to really see the extent of what. nah bcs i do know deep down but when it comes to expressing it?#rather funny i probably seem like a very open n honest person w how much i share but that's just bcs there's a lot of things i'm already#comfortable w within myself?? idk how to phrase but Yeah. i hate lying or not being authentic in any way but i can't deny i'm both used to#it & good at it. but. sob i end up rambling so much in tumblr tags it's just like a diary or smth atp >.>
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