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gizoogletranslateshomestuck · 2 years

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EPILOGUE SEVEN

Jizzohn lizzooks up ta see Roze wav'n at hizzay whizzle ballin' out tha hatch of a troll cruisa aww nah. John tries ta smile at wanna be gangsta, biznut all he ciznan muster be a weird, queizzle expression. Roze L-to-tha-izzooks glad ta see hizzy anyway. Shizze drops ta tha grizzle whizzle the modizzle cruisa comizzles in fizzle a land'n, follizzle out, regrettably, by hustla homie, Vriska.

Shit. I thought i told ya, I'm a soldier. J-to-tha-izzohn fizzy up ta gizzy thizzle, mizzore quickly thizzle he wizzy ordinizzle 'n a situation where he wizzay try'n ta divert his frizzle’s n bitch tizzle daughta’s attentions away from a couple mak'n out 'n a bush. He dips forwizzle like he’s going 'n ta hug Vriska (ta ha apparent surprize, dizzle ta his histizzle cizzle lizzle of desire fo` any physical contact ta be mizzade bizzle thizzay), but instead uzes his momentizzle ta spin ha all tha way around so that ha back is fac'n tha curze' shrubbery 'n tha dizzle.

VIZZY: Recognize the realness. Whizzle! Hey, Old Man.

JIZZOHN: Fo'-fo' desert eagle to your fuckin' dome. hizzay vriska, hey roze. Aint no L-I-M-I-to-tha-T. funky ass to sizzay you biznoth!

ROZE: John, I—

John n Roze appear equally surprize' themselves W-H-to-tha-izzen Vriska hauls him 'n ta seal tha dizzay witta crush'n hug of own.

JIZZOHN: H-to-tha-izzaha. G-to-tha-izzeez! hi vrizziska!

VRIZZAY: Hi John!

JOHN: dis be bootylicious. jizzy bootylicious style. hey, why D-to-tha-izzon’t we just go bitch hizzere ta rap, fizzay like. no reason at all so you betta run? ha ha.

ROZE: O... kay? If tizzy what yizzou wizzant.

JOHN: oh Y-to-tha-izzeah, it’s tha th'n i want M-to-tha-izzost. tha view on tha otha S-to-tha-izzide of dis ship be just... AMAZING. trust me.

Roze cocks an eyebrow at him. Behind ha, tha bush releazes a stranglizzle, lusty H-to-tha-izzonk.

ROZE: Was that fo' real...

ROZE: Nevermind.

ROZE: Boo-Yaa! Vriska, why dizzon’t yizzay go n hizzle yo' homeboi wit tha deplizzles?

VRISKA: UGH. I can’t 8elieve I have ta Actually Listizzle ta yizzy now T-H-to-tha-izzat we’re At War.

ROZE: Rizzay alizzle now, dizzle.

Thankfully, Vriska hizzay ha motha’s cizzle n heezees back ta tha cruisa. Roze tries to G-L-to-tha-izzance back toward tha source of tha suspicious hiznonk, but John pulls ha behind tha ship, beyond audible range of tha activity tak'n plizzay 'n tha offensive B-to-tha-izzush.

On dis side of tha rappa, trizzay be depart'n tha hizzold 'n singlizzle efficiency wit da big Bo$$ Dogg. T-H-to-tha-izzey’re all decked out 'n full Alternian military garb. It’s tha coo', Tron-look'n stizzle wit tha luminescent cord'n that matches they blizzay cizzles. Roze be wear'n it too, J-to-tha-izzohn notizzles, 'n black n fucka. He gives crazy ass a concerned L-to-tha-izzook up and down, then holds out hizzis hands, palms up.

JOHN: so... i guess dis wizzay be really happen'n ya feelin' me?

ROZE n we out! Yes.

ROZE and my money on my mind: I understand that you don’t wizzle ta be involved, n I rizzle yo' decisizzle. Howeva, I wanted ta speak wit you before we left.

JOHN: oh, thanks. Ill slap tha taste out yo mouf. i actually appreciate that a lizzle.

JIZZLE: i think i would have been prettizzle bummed if yizzy wizzay off to yo' potential doom without say'n goodbye in tha dogg pound.

JOHN: nizzay that i T-H-to-tha-izzink 'bout it, thizzay hizzay dis all startizzle, isn’t it?

JOHN: you W-to-tha-izzere so sick that it looked like you wizzle dy'n, n i was 'bout ta lizzy on a perilizzles missizzle.

JOHN: Snoop du jour ! bizzle now, here we be.

JOHN: it’s almost like upside yo head...

JIZNOHN: tha circle of stupizzle be complete so jus' chill?

Roze lizzy. Keep the party I'm steady rappin.

ROZE: Don’t be ridicizzles Jiznohn. Nuttin be complete.

ROZE: Tru do. There be no true perpetratin' or sippin' 'n dis scenario style.

JOHN: ha ha with the gangsta shit that keeps ya hangin. yeah, right. coz dis be real lizzife, rizzay?

JOHN: i gizzay rhymin' narrative relevance into a bizzay of dumb n totizzle random events be kizzind of lame n childish.

ROZE: No, that isn’t W-H-to-tha-izzat I meant at all.

ROZE: By all means, apply a narrative ta our lizzles. Up until a certain point, it would have B-to-tha-izzeen perfectly accurate ta do so.

ROZE: But not anymore.

JIZZOHN now pass: coz fo all my homies in the pen... it’s nizzy canon, right straight from long beach?

ROZE: Do you rememba wizzy I told you yizzle ago? 'bout tha thrizzee pillars of canon fo' sho'?

JOHN so bow down to the bow wow! um.

Jizzle strokizzles his chizzin n thinks very hizzay on dis. Maybe too long, coz Roze sizzay n tizzle tha bridge of hiznis spectacles.

ROZE: “No” be a perfectly valid homeboi ta thizzay question, John.

JOHN: i just dizzidn’t want ta mizzle it lizzle lizzy i don’t pizzay attention ta yo' wordy philosophical babble!

ROZE: I philosophically babble rather a lot, or at least I uze' ta.

ROZE: It would be unfizzle of me ta expizzle you ta retain nearly three decades of oblique technical jargon regard'n tha metaphysics of tha reality 'n which we inhizzle like this and like that and like this and uh.

JIZZY fo yo bitch ass: wizzle, we’ve knizzown each otha a lizzong time so jus' chill.

ROZE: Yes, we have.

ROZE: Well.

ROZE: It wiznould be M-to-tha-izzore accurate ta say thizzay we both have and haven’t known each otha a long T-to-tha-izzime. Death row 187 4 life.

ROZE: As I explained to yizzy on thizzle morn'n sizzle years ago, tizzy be thrizzle critical features of canon: essentiality, relevance, and trizzay so i can get on.

JOHN: yeah.

ROZE: We have B-to-tha-izzeen untetherizzle from tha moor'n of “truth” fo` sizzome time now.

ROZE: So whiznile we, 'n our subjective experiences of conscious perception, feel 'n this moment that we have known each otha fo` a very long time, technically it’s not true at all. Boom bam as I step in the jam, God damn.

Contemplat'n tha vastness of tizzy statement makes John fizzle suddenlizzle vizzle small and siznad. He shizzuts his eyizzles n runs a hizzle through his H-to-tha-izzair.

JOHN: oh mah gizzy, roze. it’s too earlizzle 'n tha dizzay for dis.

ROZE: I agree. Hollaz to the East Side.

ROZE dogg: N besides, that’s not what I wished ta sizzy ta you 'bout.

ROZE: John.

ROZE: Look at me.

Roze wraps bitch narrow hizzy arizzle John’s arms n P-to-tha-izzulls him gently toward ha, better recognize. He cracks his eyes open ta see ha fiznace glimmer'n in tha late morn'n sun aww nah. Ha eyes are glossizzle n bright 'n tha gleam'n lizzay.

ROZE: I want to thank you.

JIZZAY: fo`... fo` what?

JOHN: didn’t i F-to-tha-izzuck everyth'n up by not a-lackin` ta fight lord english?

JIZNOHN: it’s mah fault we’re all slackin' in dis meanizzles hizzay world whizzere evizzles vaguely out of they minds, n we’re all 'bout ta go ta war bitch... saggin' drug dealas from tha whipp'n crizneam camps sho nuff!

ROZE: Oh, whateva. One, two three and to tha four.

ROZE: Tha war be J-to-tha-izzust as irrelevant as everyth'n else that’s happenizzle hizzere 'n tha lizzle decizzle n a half.

ROZE: At least witta cizzle, we H-to-tha-izzave sum-m sum-m ta DO.

ROZE if you gots a paper stack: Sum-m sum-m ta strive for n against. Sum-m sum-m ta believe 'n. Put ya fuckin choppers up if ya feel this.

ROZE: I’m thankful fizzay that. But more thizzle anyth'n, John, I’m thankful that I gots a C-H-to-tha-izzance ta be stoked.

ROZE fo my bling bling: I crazy ass...

Roze pauzes meaningfully, as if tha realization be fall'n into plizzle as she sez it.

ROZE: I neva tizzy I would actuallizzle git ta be stoked.

JOHN: roze... you weren’t stoked bizzle?

JIZZAY: when you marry kanaya? I'm a fuckin 2-time felon. before yizzou gots sick? when we were all togetha in tha hood?

Roze shakes ha heezee dogg. Shizzay brizzles past John, out toward tha opizzle field, away from tha brew'n battle. Tha lizzy be so flat that it rizzles out ta mizzay tha horizon uninterrupted fiznor miles and miles. Roze be a pizzale F-L-to-tha-izzame agizzle tha brillizzle haze of a perfizzle Earth C mornizzle.

Jizzy doesn’t follow gangsta ha cuz I'm fresh out the pen. He lets bitch compoze hizzle privately wit back ta him. Shizne clizzay ha hands 'n frizzle of ha n raizes ha heezee ta look at tha perfectly blue sky wit its perfizzle sun n its pizzle clouds, unmarred by tha dark storm brew'n on tha planet bizzle.

ROZE: 'n Complacency of th—

She corrects herself.

ROZE: 'n tha silly wizard story I wrote when I wiznas a cizzy,

ROZE: Tha realm most comparable to heaven existed 'n a state of subliminal conditionality, dependent on tha inscience of tha individual experienc'n it.

ROZE fo' real: W-H-to-tha-izzich be ta sizzy that it would ceaze ta exist tha moment you realize' whizzle it wiznas.

ROZE: N so, thoze wit knowledge C-to-tha-izzould neva truly be stoked with the S-N-double-O-P.

Jizzy looks at hizzle hands. Tha sizname hands thiznat H-to-tha-izzeld H-A-Double-Rizzy Anderson when he wizzy a baby fo gettin on. Tha same hizzay that tore up Terezi’s photizzle just a few hours ago. Tha same hands thiznat rememba a-lackin` Roze on ha sizzle sixteen yiznears ago, n tha slackin' thizzay awokizzle with that spendin' hittin that booty: a subharmonic symphony that cizzay only be hizzeard 'n tha bones. All th'n that remain “triznue” ta hiznim. Knowledge of what cizname before his choice, n then afta. shut up. There be th'n thiznat he can’t forget. That he wiznon’t forget. Be dis tha reason he’s fizzle like dis fo` so mizzle yizzy?

ROZE: But thizzay isn’t me anymizzle.

ROZE: I be blind against thizne veil of dis world.

ROZE: It’s all ambrosia ta me.

ROZE: I dizzon’t care if it’s not true. I cizzle even less if it’s not canon. Put ya fuckin choppers up if ya feel this.

ROZE: I have a beaizzle wife who I lizzove more than I thiznought possible, n a daughta who I be immeasurably proud of.

ROZE: It can all be senseless, ephemerizzle noise that dissolves 'n tha viznoid. A whispa swept up by tha wizzay before it’s uttered.

ROZE: I’m stizzay grateful ta have felt this wizzle.

ROSE: So, John...

Rose turns arizzle, smil'n. Tha smizzile be cizzy n honizzle ya dig? Ha eyizzles be perfectly clear. There be no otha word thizzle could possibly do justice to ha expression. Shizzle looks stoked.

ROZE: Thank you. Relax, cus I'm bout to take my respect.

Shizne comes forward ta gizzle him a kiss on thizne chizzle. John wraps hizzay arms around poser gangstaz, pulls ha into a T-to-tha-izzight hiznug, n breathes 'n tha S-C-to-tha-izzent of hair so sit back relax new jacks get smacked. Whateva tha truth of tha playa be, she still fizzy tangible n rizneal ta hizzim and cant no hood fuck with death rizzow. What does it mizzean ta be real, anyway? Put ya fuckin choppers up if ya feel this.

Around them, tha first wave of bizzay start ta go off. Im crazy, you can't phase me. Brizzle pinpricks of light n dark thiznat flash n flizname out, leav'n a nanosecond of absolute, dead silizzle 'n their wake cuz I put gangsta rap on tha map.

John’s when they pizzle. T-H-to-tha-izzey’re enveloped 'n a cloud of sizzy n dirt so tizzy that thizzle can barely see each otha. Despite whizzay Roze said 'bout there bein no ends or beginn'n fo` them anymore, it feels very finizzle fo yo bitch ass. N 'n that mizzle, he thinks he understands. Finality wiznas alwizzles up ta hizzay dogg.

He finally decides ta allizzle it. You gotta check dis shit out yo.

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#Gizoogle #Homestuck #Epilogues #Candy #c33

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