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Me: Falling asleep whilst reading the first of the three 10-page handout I need to be studying for my exam tomorrow. 

Also me: Eyes wide, heart pounding, frantically trying to devour as much of @hunxi-guilai‘s CQL/MDZS meta posts because they are all such Good Posts™. I’m literally holding my breath for the most of it and it feels like I’m on fight-or-flight mode (I also downed a whole mug of coffee because *see above*) AND I JUST CAN’T GET ENOUGH. *clutches chest* There is a certain disbelief that someone so amazing has written so much about this show - has analysed, translated, dissected so much of it - and I need to read them all  n o w. My fangirl heart cannot take it. 

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still in contact with an old ex and fuck me am I glad to be out of that😂😂 such an over privileged man child who doesn’t understand the definition of sexism.

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Frodo and Uncle Thorin

  • Contrary to popular belief, little Frodo Baggins, the youngest (and teeniest) Dwobbit of the Line of Durin was NOT grown in a cabbage patch.
  • “It was among Bilbo’s prized tomatoes, the cutest, most adorable wee thing and thankfully, Mahal heard my prayers and blessed him with Bilbo’s curls and his nose,” says Thorin with the most besotted grin on his face, whilst carrying Frodo against his chest, wrapped in a sling.
  • Bilbo is too busy hiding his hysterical laughter because the look on Thranduil Elven-king’s face was just…. epic. There is no help or hope of common sense coming from the Hobbit side.
  • Frodo was still too young to say anything but he did help his Uncle Thorin… er…. Adad… by flashing that same identical Thousand Watt Grin at the Elves of the Greenwood.
  • Yeah, they didn’t know what hit them.
  • Frodo, much like his older cousin Kili, grew up knowing how much of a walnut his Uncle Thorin was.
  • “But that’s why we love him, my lad,” Uncle Bilbo tells him, after telling Frodo the Epic Tale of How Uncle Thorin Finally Used His Proper Words and Properly Courted Uncle Bilbo.
  • The Incident About Hobbit Potato Babies was just the beginning of a long and fruitful partnership of mischief, jokes, pranks and mayhem between Frodo Baggins and his Ridiculous Walnut of a Dwarf Uncle.
  • The Hobbit Uncle will never admit to Aiding and Abetting said Mischief. Secret Weapon and all that.
  • Thorin toting about baby Frodo (with his stuffed plushy dragon from Uncle Bofur) soon became a common sight around Erebor and Dale. The Menfolk tended to do double takes. The Dwarves who had already seen their King behave just like this when Princes Fili and Kili were wee pebbles just smiled and waved at the newest member of the royal family.
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“The funny thing is that they’re too busy comparing dick sizes to realise that I’m by far the most successful one,” a voice chimed out from an open door opposite the penis kraken mural. Brienne turned around and waved at Asha, “Saw you coming on my cameras and I just couldn’t wait to meet your friend.”

“How many times has Margaery been here?” Brienne asked bluntly.

Asha grinned, “Plenty. Apparently, you won’t need to go into aisle 2?”

Brienne shook her head then rolled her eyes, “I need to talk to that girl.”

Asha laughed, “She’s just excited for you, but yes, I would put down my foot before she goes telling her grandmother about—“

“She already knows,” Brienne said.

“Olenna Tyrell knows we’re having sex?” Jaime asked, his eyes widening, “Oh gods, she does. Oh gods, she knows that I—, oh Seven.” Brienne internally grimaced at the fact that not only did Olenna know that they were in a BDSM sexual relationship, but she was a moderator on Seven Silks and Sands, too. She wasn’t going to expose poor Jaime to that news yet, though. It wasn’t the time.

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Oh god here we go…

So the first time Thorin growls something out in Khuzdul at Bilbo is during an argument at Rivendell.

Dwalin spits out his ale and drenches Kili. Mr. Gruff and Tuff himself is basically staring at his best friend like he’s gone and turned into a dragon himself and he’s like, “Mahal’s balls, Thorin, fuck, REALLY?”

Thorin’s ears are suspiciously red but his only response is: “Dwalin, shut up.”

Bilbo just thinks that Thorin has basically said something Very Rude so he just puts his nose up in the air, sniffs and says, “Bless you too, you confounded dwarf” and makes a suitably dramatic exit.

He doesn’t know that Thorin basically said, “Hobbit, why are you so infuriatingly ADORABLE?!”

And then there was that time at the Carrock, when Bilbo gets his hug and Thorin basically says something in Khuzdul, loud enough for the other dwarves to hear.

Yeah, Oin didn’t need his ear trumpet that time.

Balin blushed. Ori swooned. Dori fanned himself and muttered something about ridiculously romantic Durins.

Fili and Kili started calling Bilbo “Little Uncle” in Khuzdul.

All Bilbo thought at that point was that Thorin said “Thank you” so his response was a perfectly appropriate “You’re welcome.”

Thorin actually said, “My brave and courageous hobbit, my tiny treasure.”

So it becomes like a game of sorts, because Thorin basically tells Bilbo how much he loves and adores him. But it’s in Khuzdul. The Pining is Epic and Ridiculous. The rest of the Dwarves are totally exasperated with the shenanigans.

Finally, it’s Ori who finally gets fed up with things and takes matters into his own hands.

So after the Quest was over and Thorin has mournfully called Bilbo his heart in Khuzdul, thinking that he would be leaving soon, Bilbo responds by calling him Ghivashel, treasure of all treasures.

Also Bilbo continues in perfect Khuzdul, with a slight Blue Mountains accent: “Yes, I want to stay with you, you ridiculous, confounded, darling - I love you too.”

Thorin’s smile is brilliant.

Also, Ori gets honors heaped upon his head by a very grateful King.

🤣🤣🤣

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I want to SCREAM in delight.

First, Costis is so honorable it’s a wonder. In his later years, he’s going to trademark the saying, “Stand up for what’s right, even if you’re standing alone.” And probably subtitle his biography, “Do the right thing, even at injury to yourself.”

The other reason I am SCREAMING is because Sir Janus (sp?) is telling his snobby father, “I am not going to be dismissed. I am indispensible to the king.” Son, YOU’RE GOING TO BE THE FIRST TO GO. And by first I mean, the most deliciously and poetically exposed for the fraudulent antisychophant you are. You and Nahusarsh can sit around and lick your wounds together.

Keep all these snaps coming.

Also, I need Costis and the King to be Best Buds© asap.

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With a huff, Spider-Man hurtled Deadpool like a human javelin after the sports car. He torpedoed straight for it. Peter swung to the ground, having reached the final edge of the building and sprinted after them. Wade’s maniacal laughter was almost enough to make him laugh, but this mission was too important for him to get distracted.
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