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robhorninginternalexile · 1 year

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resurrection of the author

As ChatGPT and the like are embedded into various software packages and “productivity suites,” it may be deployed as a kind of on-demand textuality, providing on the erstwhile blank page a plausible version of the expected thing suited to (and conditioned by) a particular situation that can be distilled into an efficacious prompt.

In other words, ready confirmation that there really is “nothing outside the text,” that there is always a ready-at-hand textual equivalent for whatever scenarios crop up in the course of ordinary business. AI models make the textuality we always already swim in more directly manipulatable; it offers a means to inspect the code, so to speak, to render explicit the underlying banalities that characterize the ordinary understanding of a particular condition or situation or task. Rather than having to mystically draw from that ambient field of platitudes when we have some mundane writing task to perform, AI models can just disgorge them as required. (Won’t this mean that more tasks will pivot to video and demand visual evidence of human presence and performance?)

AI models aspire to be operable models of the discursive field of language that poststructuralist theorists used to argue that we all exist within — that subjectivity emerges from language use, rather than language merely being something that a pre-constituted and centered subject puts to use. I think something similar might be claimed for our imminent use of generative AI as a means of expedited expression, that it will seem like a tool that we use to express ourselves, but in practice it will be a means by which we articulate ourselves as subjects. If that becomes the case — if AI becomes an augmented way of wielding language, with all its biases and connections and associations condensed into an immediately accessible and seemingly navigable terrain — Its capabilities will become the contours of our subjectivity.

In a 1969 talk, “What Is an Author?” Foucault examines the variable relation between a text and its writer, and the historical nature of the bias that overrates the significance of the “author function” (itself “a complex operation whose purpose is to construct the rational entity we cali an author”) over other factors determining a text’s existence and implications. We need the idea of an author, Foucault suggests, to be able to construe a text as bearing “creativity” or ‘inspiration” or “profundity” or “unity” — or to allow us preoccupy ourselves with matters of authentication (”Who really wrote this?”).

“We can easily imagine a culture where discourse would circulate without any need for an author,” Foucault claims. “Discourses, whatever their status, form, or value, and regardless of our manner of handling them, would unfold in a pervasive anonymity.” With AI threatening to marginalize or radically redefine “authorship” in ways far more direct and pervasive than the ones Foucault was confronting in 1969, this seems more possible than ever. Foucault’s demand for different sorts of questions seems accordingly even more pertinent:

suspicions arise concerning the absolute nature and creative role of the subject. But the subject should not be entirely abandoned. It should be reconsidered, not to restore the theme of an originating subject, but to seize its functions, its intervention in discourse, and its system of dependencies. We should suspend the epical questions: how does a free subject penetrate the density of things and endow them with meaning; how does it accomplish its design by animating the rules of discourse from within?

Rather, we should ask: under what conditions and through what forms can an entity like the subject appear in the order of discourse; what position does it occupy; what functions does it exhibit; and what rules does it follow in each type of discourse?

In the revised version of the talk, Foucault suggests that the idea of an “author” has become “a certain functional principle by which, in our culture, one limits, excludes, and chooses; in short by which one impedes the free circulation, the free manipulation, the free composition, decomposition, and recomposition of fiction ... the ideological figure by which one marks the manner in which we fear the proliferation of meaning.” Generative AI (though not “free”) is intended to exponentially expand the circulation, manipulation, composition, decomposition of texts. It will intensify our need for an “author” to impede that proliferation. Regardless of how texts are produced, their authors will likely become even more occulted figures.

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luxurybeautyreviews · 27 days

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#Contouring #Highlighting #Products

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charmyposh-blog · 1 month

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Check out this listing I just added to my Poshmark closet: Skechers Sandals.

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jayhorsestar · 6 months

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calib. LAX, am aware we talked to 'dove since forever w heart of meaningful results, not just irony, satire, jokes. she always needed reassurance. flirting to 'dove, even when married, is talking to 'dove. NOW, LAX, suburbs, or houses, just like HH or even Malmo, ladies since 18 of age, become hunted, almost like LAW told DO Security Ltd 2004 to screen in field legal entities, companies HQs or sub-units, and request they revealing a window stamp of the legally contracted Protector. art.4 of Law 333 RO, before 2013, before the E.U. 2008-2009, told all legal entities across RO must had negotiated a security services contract, subscription so to put, at certain minimum monthly fee (price of contract), for fast task force intervention over real event. DRAFT indeed onto Hotmail public MSN Outlook, OneDrive, since forever (2008, and before). NOT MUCH more ethical than that LAW, life at LAX must had been risky if ladies in the house would not attend certain xx appointments, exchanges, trading, upon reaching 18 of age. regardless of career to take, regardless of studies to make (attend to). definitely one could had always said NO. probably one could had even desperately tried reaching the Police. NO. unless you aim at ending up in Fresno, Ca. still Cali, no doubt. so am aware 'pau might not be the saint white innocent lady my eyes and heart would look and beat into a marriage, calm sea, and blessed on pulling winds and sunshine. just like when referring to 'dove, when referring to 'pau affairs, i would seek common grounds, not jokes and irony and satire. could had been construed to interpretation, but not in the 1st place. shades go fine, contour should come out for shape, not shade. mebbe Stella felt i needed write that, mebbe Elsa felt that too, mebbe Lorena thought that. only Taylor proven a deeper connoisseur, and sent out highly regarded Singapore pics. Tower28Beauty told some GIFs, those lips and gloss, relaying to 'now u c whom i had generally dealt w and thus readin of u i might kiss ur chick when in ur sleep, end of quote. short lips onto your skin, am heading to bed, i love you. m

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dawnettsemporium · 8 months

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CALI SPORT LARGE PULLOVER 1/2 ZIP TOGGLED WAISTBAND CUFFS COLLAR BLACK #SW-J0040.

EXTREMELY, LIGHTLY PRE-OWNED. LABELS ARE NOT SHOWING ANY THINNING.

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LABELING STICKERS ARE REFLECTIVE.

PULLOVER WITH A PPARTIAL ZIP FOR EASE OF USE.

FORM FITTING CUFFS.

CURVED BASELINE TO KEEP THAT LOOK OF FEMININITY.

COLLAR.

SIDE PANELS TO OFFER MORE CONTOUR.

#DAWNETTSEMPORIUM, #BEAUTIFULMERMAIDQUEEN, #SHAUNALYNNSFOOD

#beautifulmermaidqueen #dawnettsemporium #shaunalynnsfood

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isitfashionism · 2 years

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LOTD #127 | THE WEIRDO.

Eyeliner - GOKWOL - Milena liner Eyes Bags, Nose Blush & Cheek Contour - Skoll - Sveltana Curse Earrings - DAE - Cross Chain Humen Earring Set w/ Mouth Chain Choker - ATD - VVS Cuban Chain NoseRing - ATD - Cali Hoop Septum Shirt - toksik - Loner Shirt Undershirt - NOCHE - Cross Crop White Skirt - DIET - "SOPHI" Skirt Thong - NOCHE - Alan Thon Stockings - NOCHE - Sheer stockings Bracelets - [Dope+Mercy] - Pearl Bracelets Glasses - [RAIR] - Sloane Glasses Boots - Semller - Thumper Boots Floating Stones - .: Nosferatum :. - Arcane Floating Stones

#SECONDLIFE #SLAVI #SECONDLIFEWORLD #SECONDLIFEFASHION #SECONDLIFEBLOG #SECONDLIFEBLOGGER #SECONDLIFEPHOTO #SECONDLIFEPHOTOGRAPHY #HALLOWEEN2022

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wishfuldreamzzz · 2 years

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Check out this listing I just added to my Poshmark closet: Womens Skinny Jeans High Rise Size 8 29 Cali Blue Vintage Stretch Denim New.

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emptypan · 3 years

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📸: mylowbuyyear

#cali contour #beauty #face palette #palette #contour #blush #blusher #highlighter #bronzer #makeup #cosmetics #define

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soluniversal · 2 years

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Gel Modelador Reductor Body Contour HND Corps Lignea | Envío Gratis

🧖🏻‍♀️ Corps Lignea Body Contour, mas conocida como la Lipo Manual, trae 4 pasos para tonificar y reducir medidas con productos de alta tecnología y performance, específicos para el cuerpo. 4️⃣ REDUCIR MEDIDAS:Por último, aplica el Gel Modelador para quemar grasas localizadas.Reparte uniformemente sobre la región con movimientos circulares para activar la eliminación de toxinas. Actúa produciendo…

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#beneficios de corps lignea #body contour crema para masaje #body contour gel modelador corporal modo de uso #body contour gel modelador para que sirve #colombia #compras online colombia #corps gel corporal reductor cryoactive 500g hnd / hinode #corps lignea #corps lignea body contour gel modelador corporal #corps lignea body contour gel modelador corporal como usar #corps lignea donde comprar #corps lignea precio #Crema para Masaje Body Contour HND Corps Lignea #crema para masaje corporal corps #crema para masajes corps lignea cali #crema para masajes corps lignea colombia #crema para masajes corps lignea precio #crema para masajes hinode beneficios #exfoliante hnd beneficios #gel corps cali #gel corps colombia #gel corps lignea #gel corps medellin #gel corps original #gel corps para que sirve #gel corps precio colombia #gel modelador corporal hnd 500g #Gel Modelador Reductor Body Contour HND Corps Lignea #gel reductor corps beneficios #gel reductor corps como se usa

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ladypurpz · 6 years

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BraPpppPppp 🏍 My Inspiration Was Supercross

#supercross #sandiego #downtown #makeup #green #Glitter #katvondbeauty #Highlighter #anastasia #anastasiabrows #cali #mua #snap #Contour

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jiminrings · 2 years

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Hello, it's me. Again. Let's get this bread!

Contour:

Jordana Sculpt N' Go Creamy Contour Stick

Kiko Milani Sculpting Touch Creamy Stick Contour

Catrice Prime and Fine Professional Contouring Palette

Smashbox Cali Contour Face Palette (I'd say it works for fair to medium complexion)

*or you could just get a concealer that's a few shades darker than your normal shade lol

Bronzer:

Marc Jacobs O!mega Bronze in Tan-Tastic (do they still sell this??)

Nars Sunkissed Bronzing Cream (shade 'Laguna')

Hourglass Ambient Lighting Bronzer (I FORGOT TO INCLUDE THE HOURGLASS AMBIENT LIGHTING BLUSH IN THE BLUSHER CATEGORY)

Tarte Amazonian Clay Matte Waterproof Bronzer (shade 'Park Ave Princess')

Charlotte Tilbury Filmstar Bronze and Glow Contour Duo (I know, I know. It says 'contour', but imo the shade is too warm for contouring)

Physicians Formula Butter Bronzer (cult fave)

Mascara:

L'oreal Lash Paradise Waterproof (holy grail. This was the first mascara I discovered that legit holds my curl)

Etude House Lash Perm Curl-Fix Mascara (you better prepare some heavy duty oil-based makeup remover because hooo boy this thing is clingier than yours truly)

Maybelline The Falsies Lash Lift Waterproof Mascara

*side note: I have straight Asian lashes, okay. They're decent in length and they're pretty thick, but they're as straight as a pogo stick.

Chanel Le Volume (ehh it was okay. Gave me volume, but that's it. Didn't curl at all)

Kevyn Aucoin The Volume Mascara (this is a tubing mascara, easy removal. Pretty much the same with Chanel, gave me volume but no curl)

Marc Jacobs Velvet Noir (smudged on me, didn't hold my curl)

It Cosmetics Superhero (meh)

Glossier Lash Slick (meh)

Benefit Roller Lash (meh)

Lancome Hypnose (meh)

Essence Volume Stylist 18 Hr Lash Extension Mascara (meh)

Colourpop BFF Mascara (meh)

Tarte SEA Surfer Curl Volumizing Mascara (meh)

On my wishlist: Lancôme Lash Idôle Lash-Lifting & Volumizing Mascara, Lancôme Monsieur Big Waterproof Mascara, Innisfree Skinny Microcara, Neogen Extra Volume Curl Metal Mascara

Eyeshadow:

Urban Decay Naked Palettes

Milani Gilded Palettes

Nyx Ultimate Shadow Palettes

Natasha Denona (costs you an arm, a leg and a kidney BUT they're so good)

Chanel Les 4 Ombres Multi-Effect Quadra Eyeshadow (I have the shade '318 Blurry Green'. Don't get me wrong. It's nice, it's pretty, but is it worth it? There's also no matte shadows in it)

Colourpop Palettes (good formulations, comparable to high-end ones)

Eyeliner:

Sephora 12 Hour Contour Pencil Eyeliner Waterproof (holy grail)

Marc Jacobs Highliner Gel Eye Crayon

Stila Stay All Day Waterproof Liquid Eye Liner (holy grail)

L'oreal Infallible Lacquer Eyeliner (creamy, glides on smoothly, doesn't smudge on me)

Nyx Epic Ink Liner Waterproof (on my wishlist!)

Brow:

Diorshow Brow Styler Ultra-Fine Precision Brow Pencil

Milani Precision Brow Pencil

Nyx Micro Brow Pencil

Anastasia Brow Definer

Anastasia Dipbrow Pomade

Anastasia Brow Gel

Nyx The Brow Glue (when they say it's glue? It's GLUE. Though it doesn't dry stiff or crunchy)

Glossier Boy Brow

Benefit 24-Hr Brow Setter

Benefit Precisely My Brow

Lip Pencil:

Pat McGrath Labs PermaGel Ultra Lip Pencil (shade 'Done Undone'. Holy grail)

Make Up For Ever Artist Color Pencil

MAC Lip Pencil

Charlotte Tilbury Lip Cheat Lip Liner ('Pillow Talk'. Need I say more?)

Revlon Colorstay Longwear Lip Liner

Maybelline Color Sensational Shaping Lip Liner

Rimmel Lasting Finish 1000 Kisses Lip Liner

Lip Gloss:

Dior Addict Lip Maximizer Plumping Gloss (holy grail)

Fenty Gloss Bomb Universal Lip Luminizer (holy grail)

Milani Keep It Full Nourishing Lip Plumper (holy grail)

Tower 28 ShineOn Jelly Lip Gloss

Pat McGrath Labs LUST: Lip Gloss (holy grail)

Chanel Rouge Coco Gloss ('712 Melted Honey' is where it's at)

Essence Shine Shine Shine Lipgloss

Nyx Butter Lip Gloss

Lipstick:

H&M Lipstick (so underrated! It's so creamy and pigmented, comparable to high-end lipsticks. My fave is in the shade 'In a Nutshell')

Charlotte Tilbury Matte Revolution Lipstick

Charlotte Tilbury K.I.S.S.I.N.G Lipstick

Maybelline Color Sensational Creamy Mattes

L'oreal Color Riche

Tom Ford Lip Color Lipstick (listen... They're nice and all, but it's gonna cost you your first born soooo 🤷🏻‍♀️)

Pat McGrath MatteTrance Lipstick

Tarte SEA Color Splash Lipstick

Chanel Rouge Coco Flash (shade '54 Boy'. I always go back to this. Yes, I should probably branch out and try other shades but I'm a creature of habit, okay? Sue me 💅🏻)

Liquid Lip/Lip Tint:

Dior Lip Tattoo (shade '351 Natural Nude')

Etude House Fixing Tint

Innisfree Vivid Creamy Tint

Nars Air Matte Liquid Lipstick

Armani Lip Maestro

Maybelline Superstay Matte Ink

Smashbox Always On Matte Liquid Lipstick

Sephora Cream Lip Stain

L'oreal Infallible Pro-Matte Liquid Lipstick

Huda Beauty Liquid Matte Lipstick

Fenty Stunna Lip Paint

*honestly, K-beauty has tons of great liquid lipsticks/lip tints! They have too many imo 😂

Did I miss anything?

HIT AFTER HIT YOU ATE THANK U SO MUCH MISS V <33 YOU DIDN’T MISS ANYTHING AT ALL!!!! IM GOING TO SLEEP HAPPY TONIGHT ILYSM VERONA 10/10 will update u as soon as i buy any of the things you’ve mentioned <33

#answered

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charmyposh-blog · 4 months

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Check out this listing I just added to my Poshmark closet: Skechers Men's Foamies: Cali Surf Lined Shoes.

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obx-snippets · 4 years

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Chapter 2 ∫ ≈ Ocean’s Siren at the Kegger ≈

Summary: Reina goes to her first kegger in the obx and it’s a lot more than she bargained for.

Warning: Cursing, panic attack, mentions of aquaphobia, drowning. S L O W B U R N

Word count: 3.2k

Pairing: JJ Maybank x female!oc

Masterlist

a/n: thank you to those who are showing interest in the series so far! Hope you stick around till the end!

After long-wearing hours of searching for a suitable outfit, Reina gave herself a pep-talk in the mirror as she sat on the floor, staring deep within herself. If it weren't for Mina and Chris being at work so late, they would diagnose her to be clinically insane.

"It's a party, quit being a pussy."

"It's near water, why the hell would you even go?"

"I mean....you were invited, so it's sort of rude if you don't."

"I don't even drink anymore, so I could bring my own Gatorade."

"Why would you say 'yeah, I know where the boneyard is.' Fucking dumbass, you just moved here yesterday."

"Where are my pills?"

The setting sun was seated on an orange and pink horizon that it claimed as its throne. The breeze carried the ocean's salty scent in the air, tousling Reina's hair that she fought to keep tucked behind her ear. Her flip flops slapped against the hard cement, moving her bike by her side, not yet having the courage to step in the sand as she walked alongside the beach. She could hear the faint sound of pounding music, and as she neared the supposed kegger, the hollering a cheering of teens became clear as day. The lights of burning torches danced across her brown as she stopped just at the beach's edge, her toes only inches from the golden sand. A familiar sensation bloomed in her stomach like a flower that was hidden from the sun for too long. Excitement? Thrill?

A feeling that she hasn't experienced since that night. There was a smaller crowd of teens surrounding a small area of a particular part of the beach, and Reina had to squint her eyes to make out John B holding up a blonde boy by his ankles as he performed the infamous game, the keg stand. Pride tugged at her heart, knowing her past self would have stood up to the challenge of lasting longer. But she stayed put, hugging her body over the soft material of her white oversized sweater that covered a portion of her blue tennis skirt.

Her jaw instantly clenched, and eyes screwed shut upon hearing the water so close. The waves were mocking, tormenting enough to make her breathing ragged and uneven.

A gleeful cheer brought Reina to open her eyes to see John B patting his blonde friend on the back after he successfully lasted thirty seconds on the keg stand. Cheap beer dripped down his contoured chin, his laugh traveling to where Reina stood. She guessed he was one of the other boys in John B's van but wasn't sure what his name was.

Was he Pope or JJ?

His cerulean eyes shimmered under the torch lights, his toothy grin surprisingly contagious. Reina hadn't even noticed she was smiling until a pair of blue eyes latched onto hers, heat quickly radiating up her ivory cheeks. Her lips parted as if to say something but realized how far he was and quickly closed her mouth. It seemed the blonde surfer discerned what she attempted and opted to pass her a nod before stalking away with his arm draped over John B's shoulder.

Reina couldn't comprehend what she felt once she made eye contact with the boy. His ocean eyes. His handsome, chiseled features. That toothy smile that spread to her own lips. That gray muscle tee that made her mind wander. Her bottom lip was tucked between her teeth as she watched Kiara punch another boy on the arm for tossing his red solo cup on the sand.

The one who ordered the sprite.

John B was leaning forward as he sat on a fallen tree trunk, his finger prodding the blonde's side before gesturing toward a gorgeous blonde girl dancing provocatively in a small crowd. It seemed like she was the bait for the night, but Reina wasn't impressed.

"Hot, isn't he?"

Reina let a yelp slip her lip as she jolted away from the smirking girl standing next to her. She was casually drinking her beer; her dyed hair pulled up into a bun with bobby pins holding back stray hairs. She had seen her at the Wreck along with the other rowdy teenagers that occupied too much of her time for just a couple of drinks.

"W-what?" Reina cleared her throat, playing dumb as she wrung her hands to let her sweater's sleeves cover her hands.

The girl glanced at her from the corner of her dark hazel eyes as she gave her a pointed look. "The one you were ogling is JJ." she stated, pointing one of her fingers that held her red solo cup toward the blonde who was currently staying still so Kiara could pluck something out of his eye. "The sweetheart who ordered the sprite is Pope, and you met the rest--oh, and I'm Harlow. Westwick."

Harlow held out a hand, and Reina glanced down at her black painted fingers before shaking it gently.

“Reina Lynch.”

Harlow made a face, “Reina. I like it.”

Reina was surprised when she felt a smile pull at the corner of her mouth. She looked back up at Harlow, a kind expression of her own on her face.

“Thanks,” she replied.

Harlow took a large gulp of her drink, blinking wildly when some of it splashed into her eye, “So,” she started, clearing her throat, “how long you been in the OBX?”

Reina let out a sigh, carding her hand through her hair before tugging her sleeve back over her hand, “not long,” she answered, “definitely still adjusting.”

Harlow nodded her head, shivering from a gust of wind before brushing some of her baby hairs from her eyes, “Yeah, it takes a while,” Harlow laughed, “where are you from?“

“Cali.”

Harlow gaped quickly with a laugh, “Oooh! California, I like it. That’s totally rad, dude.”

Reina let out a laugh, a real laugh. “Nobody talks like that in California, you know?”

Harlow’s pink lips parted, ready to reply to her when the song switched, causing a gasp to slip from her mouth, “I love this song!” she exclaimed, turning in small circles to find a place to set her cup down, “dance with me!”

Reina clammed up immediately, the smile slipping from her face as her eyes darted to the crowd of drunk dancing teenagers. “Oh, no, I-“

“Come on!” Harlow cried over the blaring music and shouting, her dainty hand wrapping around her wrist, “please! nobody else likes to dance to this song with me!”

Reina pondered for a moment, letting Harlow shake her limp arm, chewing on her bottom lip. Worry pooled her eyes, wondering how it would feel to jump back into the party life so soon. She hasn't had a drink, so as long she steered clear of any and all alcohol consumption, one dance didn't seem like the worst thing. Besides, her blue Gatorade was tucked safely on her bike, where she had parked it by a palm tree.

“Okay,” Reina sighed, itching a random spot on her neck before she touched her regrettable scars and coiled her hand away, a smile touching her lips once she met Harlow's eyes, “one dance.”

She didn't seem like it at first, but Harlow Westwick was a firecracker who's adrenaline had boosted to a hundred by the time she started dancing. Reina couldn't help but laugh anytime the girl poorly busted a dance move that, in her opinion, was killer. Instead of trying to mirror anyone else's movent, Reina gradually let her body sway to the heavy pumping music, her eye getting lost in the darkness and focusing on the song's base. Soon enough, the two had been dancing for an hour, disregarding Reina's 'one dance' policy.

Reina followed the tipsy girl around the boneyard, not bothering to tell her to ease up on the drinking as she didn't see it as her place to tell her what to do. She had caught Kira glancing toward her and passed her a small smile before quickly grabbing Harlow's waist when she nearly fell face-first on the sand. Too occupied with keeping Harlow upright as she marched down the beach, Reina overlooked JJ, John B, and Pope staring at her from where they sat around a bomb fire.

“So,” JJ started, downing the last of his beer, “what do we think of the new girl?”

John B casted his eyes over to Reina, who was dancing with their friend, more trying to hold her up than anything, “She seems cool,” he replied with a shrug.

Pope nodded along, his eyes still on Reina and Harlow down the beach, “She sounded nice, and she’s currently babysitting Harlow, so seems like she could hang.”

JJ tapped his ring clad finger against his plastic cup, his eyes dancing side to side, “Think I could bag her?”

His question sent the other two boys into a groan, Pope rolling his head back and John B tossing a nearby empty solo cup at him,

“Jesus, man! Do you think about anything other than sleeping with girls?”

JJ looked up, pondering, “Weed,” he answered, “spend a lot of time thinking about weed.”

“Yeah, we know,” Pope said, rolling his eyes.

“She could be gay,” John B suggested.

“What makes you think she’s gay?” JJ asked, face scrunched in confusion.

“What makes you think she’s straight?” Pope rebutted.

“Touché, Pope,” JJ tipped his empty cup at him, “touché.”

The wind was nipping at Reina's skin once the music suddenly died down. She had been following Harlow for so long that she just realized how different the sand felt under her sandals. The ground was a bit more firm but squishy at the same time, unlike the dry sand she had been wondering just hours prior. Reina stopped dead in her tracks when the sound of waves broke her from her trance. She inhaled sharply, her smile dropping, and her eyes widening in mild horror. The smell of salt became like a toxin in her lungs, and she stumbled back, her hands balling into a fist. If she knew Harlow would lead her this close to the water, she wouldn't have taken up the offer to dance. The dark sky made the water look like a raging god, calling her to step into its deadly grasp.

Despite the influx of cold wind, Reina found herself sweating under her sweater as she created more distance between herself and the ocean. A flash of a flowy green dress came across her eye when she saw Harlow drunken figure dancing toward the water. Her heart nearly jumped out of her chest, seeing her tread dangerously closer to the shallow part of the ocean. The girl couldn't even keep herself balanced on the sand, and the waves would devour her immediately if she got any closer.

"Um, Harlow," Reina's tone was scarcely over a shout, not wanting to scare the girl. "could we maybe head back to the party?"

Harlow flimsily whipped her body around, her pale cheeks flushed with heat as a grin played on her lips. "There's not a pool at the party, Reina!" Harlow stated, her hand's failing to properly set on her hips as they kept slipping off.

"This isn't a fucking pool, it's the ocean. Now could you please--Harlow!

The giggling mess of a teenager took another tantalizing step into the water until she was knee-deep. The waves roughly slapped onto the back of her legs, her body bucking forward, bringing Reina to gasp. Any person with sense would have marched to Harlow and dragged her away from the water to prevent her from drowning. But Reina stayed glued in place, watching the tipsy teen splash water about. Maybe if she called her enough times, Harlow would listen.

Reina bounced on one of her legs, her pleading eyes desperately trying to spot one of her friends in the crowd that seems small considering how far they had traveled. Another loud splash brought Reina to look back at Harlow. Water must have got in her eyes, and she was brutally rubbing her knuckles over her eyelids to cease the burning. Reina's heart stopped upon seeing a wave hurtling toward Harlow, but as her words got stuck in her throat, the water slammed into her back, her body lurching forward face-first into the icy sea.

"Harlow!" Reina cried, taking a hesitant step forward. Her ears keened in on the waves, her eyes adjusting to the darkness to try and spot Harlow but nothing. She prayed that her head would appear above the waves, smiling and breathing. But nothing again. It's as if the ocean had eaten her alive and didn't think twice to bother apologizing.

Reina's breathing became uneven once she realized Harlow wasn't resurfacing as long as she stood there doing nothing. "Fuck me.." she huffed and shook her head.

Without a second thought, Reina was dashing forward down the small hill that led to the water, kicking off her sandals. Her mind was so hellbent on saving Harlow that she didn't focus on how the water felt on her torso, how it tugged on her figure to swim deeper. She knew if she let her mind find out that she was indeed in the ocean, she would surely drown, and both girls would be lost at sea.

Reina's hair was now wet as she was forced to dive under and let the salt burn her vision as he tried to make out Harlow's silhouette in the darkness. She kicked around, her hands roaming the area until she felt her hand swipe across a clothing material. She instantly heaved the girl's body up until Harlow's face was above water. She was completely unresponsive, and a sting of guilt tugged at her chest. If she hadn't hesitated, Harlow would still be breathing.

She pulled Harlow to the shore with all her strength, letting her body lay on the wet sand. Reina brushed her damp hair from her face and tucked it behind her ears to better examine the girl. "Harlow," Reina called to her urgently, cupping her face in her hand to try and shake her awake.

She had never performed CPR, but this was a life or death situation. Reina pressed both hands on Harlow's chest and began pumping up to thirty. Reina gripped her jaw and plugged her nose to pry her mouth open and started breathing air into her lungs. She repeated the action a couple of times, and just when she lost hope, Harlow's body began jerking violently until she was coughing up water to the side along with some of the cheap beer that she let screw with her mind.

Reina's heartbeat eased as she let out a sigh of relief and sat back on her heels, looking up and letting her eyes flutter shut. Harlow wiped her mouth with the back of her hand before sitting up, her eyes wide with her mouth agape as she stared ahead at the ocean that nearly killed her. Silence loomed over the two girls, both trying to process what had just happened. The only sound was their heaving breathing, the taunting ocean, and the party that was likely to go on until the sun rose.

"We shared our first kiss," Harlow giggled after fleeting silence, resulting in Reina snapping her neck toward the girl.

"W-what?" she muttered, her face reddening as confusion pulled at her brows.

Harlow was beaming, and the wink she sent to Reina made her squirm in place as she stared at the girl stunned.

"Harlow!"

Both girls looked back to see Kiara, JJ, John B, and Pope rushing toward them.

“Holy shit!” Pope examined the girl's soaked state and shivering bodies, “what happened?”

“Had a near-death experience, P man,” Harlow answered as her feet wiggled in the sand, “but God herself over here saved me.”

“Are you seriously cracking jokes right now?” Kie shouted, her features stitched into an angry frown, “you almost died!”

"That's an exaggeration," Harlow quipped with a quirked brow. With shaky hands, Reina helped Harlow to her feet. She looked among the girl’s group of friends, averting her eyes from the ocean beside them.

"I had to perform CPR," Reina mumbled quietly to her statement. But it seemed Kiara and Pope caught on as they're eyes bulged from their sockets.

“Dude, for real, are you okay?” JJ asked, his eyes bouncing between Harlow and Reina.

“Uh, yeah, I guess,” Harlow sputtered with a shrug as she held her body to find warmth, “never almost drowned before, so I don’t know how I’m supposed to feel.”

“What is wrong with you? You could have died! You can’t just go out into the ocean drunk as shit!” Kie lectured.

“Yeah, Kie, I get it, alright!”

The two girls' voices started to rise as they argued, John B and Pope hurried to step between them, trying to mediate. Reina stood a few steps away from them, biting through the skin of her lip until her mouth filled with the taste of iron. Without knowing what she was doing, her feet started to move her away from the group, unaware JJ had his eyes on her the entire time.

________________________________≈Ω≈___________________________________

Reina's hands were trembling as she unlocked the door to her house, her face blank when she entered the cold living room. The driveway was vacant of any cars, meaning she was completely alone. Alone with her thoughts.

Her worst enemy.

When she took another step across the cold wood floorboard, she nearly slipped. A gasp sounded through her lungs, and her mind found an opening. A door that had been locked for so long that she never dared be this close. But with her soaked hair making a puddle on her feet and her wet sweater weighing her down, the tears that began streaming down her cheeks were inevitable.

Reina tossed the keys toward a wooden table near the door and fled to her bedroom. She had to use the wall as support as she pressed her hand against her chest, trying to even out her breathing. But it was too ragged, and she felt like collapsing. Though her room was large in width, she could feel the walls closing in on her. Like her nightmares had finally cornered her.

A sob racked her throat, and she began to tear off her skirt along with her underwear. She didn't want to feel anything related to tonight's events. She regretted going at all.

Reina finally stripped out of everything until she was bare. Her legs gave under her, and she fell to her knees and shuffled back until her spine made contact with her bed. If ripping her wet hair out was an option, she would do it immediately. From the air conditioning blowing down on her, she knew a stuffy nose was guaranteed, but she didn't want to feel anything.

With her jaw wobbling uncontrollably and her body shaking, she held her legs close to her chest and rocked back and forth.

You're not in the water anymore.

Reina threw her head back, scraping the side of her neck along the pattern of her scars. The tune of the windchime seemed so distant, but yet it was enough.

"I'm sorry," she sobbed.

Her heart steadied, the warm tears continuing to flow like a blanket trying to comfort her.

"I'm sorry, dad."

@pogueszn @mdlyncline @bricksatanakinswindow @ponyboys-sunsets @kaitieskidmore1 @casper17 @moonshinerbynight @cordeliascrown @acvross-the-universe

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