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#call me naive but still hoping it's a fake/joke
steddiealltheway · 11 months
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@steddie-week day 1: hunger / pining / Somebody to Love by Queen
"I'm going to murder Steve if he tries to flirt hopelessly with another girl when he likes Eddie," Robin says with a groan.
"Keep your hands still," Nancy gently reminds Robin as she paints another black layer on her nails. "Does Steve know that he likes Eddie?" Nancy asks with a laugh.
Robin resists the urge to use her hands to speak. "No! But even you have seen the pining. I thought he was going to have a meltdown when he saw Gareth jokingly flirt with Eddie."
Nancy blows on Robin's nails before frowning and scraping off some polish that got on her fingers. "Maybe Gareth is in love with Eddie," Nancy jokes.
Robin laughs. "He's been asking me if you're single for months now."
"If only he knew..." Nancy says with a wide smile before laying a kiss on her girlfriend's hand. "But hey, I'm dealing with Eddie who is hopelessly trying to get over his crush on Steve. He would be willing to be set up with anyone, I swear."
Robin throws her hands up. "That's it!"
"Robin your nails-"
"We set them up on a blind date. Steve has been trying to get me to find someone for him forever now, and Eddie wants the same thing from you! It can be operation... Find Them Somebody to Love."
"You just got that from my Queen tape."
"But it's a great plan!" Robin says with a victorious smile. She holds out her hand to shake on it.
Nancy rolls her eyes and shakes Robin's hand. "If this works, I'll repaint your nails."
Robin's brow furrows. "What do you mean..." she trails off as she looks at them.
"There's some in your hair," Nancy says with a wince.
Robin starts to scrape the paint off. "You call Eddie while I get this off."
Nancy watches her struggle for a moment before handing her some nail polish remover. "I hope this works for our sake."
-:-:-:-:-:-
To say Steve is surprised when Robin excitedly calls him to set him up with someone is an understatement. He may be a bit clueless and naive, but he knows when she's up to something. But maybe she's excited and thinks it's just a really good match, but he thinks that's just the hopeless romantic in him talking.
He also thinks it's strange that the date is at a burger joint that Eddie really likes, but maybe Eddie helped Robin with the date? He really hopes not but doesn't know why. He also knows that maybe the burger joint is a coincidence and the Eddie thought is just because Steve can't stop thinking about him.
It's weird. He's never really had a friend like him before, but he thinks it's part of the trauma bonding that makes Steve feel so intensely about him. But it's different from Robin it's... he doesn't know.
But he doesn't have much time to think about it as he parks outside the food joint. Time to lay on the Harrington charm.
As he walks in he notices only one table that has one person at it. The girl is facing away from Steve in a booth, her long dark curly hair being the only thing visible. She's definitely Steve's type.
As Steve approaches the table he runs a hand through his hair and tries not to think about how she has hair like Eddie's. As he turns to the girl with his most charming smile, it quickly turns into a real smile. "Eddie?" Steve asks.
Eddie's head snaps up and multiple emotions cross over his face as he takes in Steve. "Steve? What are you doing here?"
"Blind date, and you?"
Eddie replies, "Same here, man. Nancy set me up."
Steve tries to ignore the way his heart seems to break. He gives Eddie a smile but it's too tight and entirely fake. "Robin set me up, but hey, that's great, Munson." Steve goes as far as patting Eddie on the back which makes him internally cringe. What's happening?
Eddie slowly glances at Steve's arm and gives it a confused look as his hand still stays on his back. "Right, sorry," Steve apologizes and feels entirely not like himself. Why is he so damn nervous? "But hey, what if I waited here with you until our dates come and we can keep each other company?"
It looks like Eddie wants to say no, but Steve is already sliding into the booth. Eddies just continues to stare at Steve as if he's the last person he wants to see at the moment. Steve ignores those signs and continues talking, "So a blind date? I didn't know you were looking for someone."
Eddie huffs and looks down at the table. "I'm not really looking for someone, I'm just trying to get over someone."
Steve feels that familiar pang in his chest. "Someone I know?"
"Like you wouldn't believe," Eddie mutters. Steve just nods because he has no idea what that means. Eddie continues, "I didn't want to like this guy, but it just kind of happened. And they're incredible and way out of my league, so here I am. But they're somehow just always around..." Eddie trails off staring at Steve.
He almost feels like Eddie is trying to hint at something, but he isn't sure what. "I've been there. It took me a while to get over Nance, but eventually with time it happened. But hey, I don't know how someone could be out of your league, man. I mean you're really uh... well," Steve takes a moment to really look at Eddie and he weirdly feels his cheeks heat up, "You've got really nice eyes, and hair of course, and nice... lips."
Eddie squirms a bit in his seat and glances away. "You don't have to take pity on me, Harrington."
"I'm not!" Steve insists a little louder than he intends to. He lowers his voice and repeats, "I'm not. I'm just stating the facts. You're a really attractive guy. Plus, you're really smart and creative, and you can play the guitar well which I'm sure other guys dig, and you're also uhh really funny and kind-"
"Please stop, there's only so many words of affirmation I can receive in a day before I combust," Eddie jokes but there's a light flush on his face.
Steve holds his hands up and says, "I'm just saying you're a catch. Anyone who doesn't see that isn't good enough for you anyways."
Eddie narrows his eyes at Steve for a moment then glances over his shoulder. "So, uh, doesn't look like our dates are here yet."
Steve glances around and notices no one is sitting alone and no one else has walked in. Weird.
A waiter walks their way and takes their drink orders and gives them a few more minutes to look over the menu. As soon as he's out of earshot, Steve asks Eddie, "Do you think it's rude to put in an order when they're not here?"
Eddie glances around and his eyes settle on the wall. Steve looks over and notices the clock. "If they're not here in the next ten minutes which is fifteen minutes after the date start time, then we can order," Eddie states.
Steve smiles but suddenly his stomach makes an obnoxious growling noise. Eddie's eyes widen. "We can make that five minutes if you'll last that long."
"I can last ten minutes it's alright," Steve replies.
Two minutes later, Steve is already giving in, "Okay, what if we just ordered when the waiter comes back?"
Eddie smiles at him for the first time that evening. "You're weak, Harrington," he jokes.
"Hey, I was strong enough to lug your body around."
"If only I was conscious for that."
Before Steve can think of a response their lovely waiter interrupts them and asks for their order. Steve ends up ordering the same thing as Eddie which has Eddie scoffing, "I thought you thought my taste in food was bad."
"If putting strawberry jelly on a turkey sandwich is your idea of food, then I stand by what I said."
"I'm going to make you try it one day," Eddie says with a wide smile.
Steve leans forwards. "Is that a threat?"
"If you want it to be," Eddie says with a wink.
Steve laughs and has the sudden thought that he really doesn't want his or Eddie's dates to show up. He just wants Eddie to himself.
What?
"What, are you traumatized by the thought of it or something?" Eddie asks after Steve has gone silent.
Steve looks up and really takes in Eddie again. You're a catch. Anyone who doesn't see that isn't good enough for you anyways.
Oh shit.
Steve glances towards the door and outside and doesn't see any cars approaching. He looks back to Eddie and says, "If our dates don't show up in the next five minutes, what if we agreed to be each other's date."
Eddie looks at him for a moment with narrowed eyes. "As in... we're just like... hanging out or...?"
Steve takes a deep breath and says, "A real date."
Eddie's eyes widen and he looks around. "The kids didn't put you up to this, did they?"
"No, Eddie, I- I would really like to go on a real date with you."
Eddie stares at him again then asks, "You swear that this isn't a joke?"
"On Dustin's mother," Steve jokes then holds out his pinky.
"You know how much a pinky promise means to me."
"I know, it's a promise that can never be broken," Steve says.
Eddie hesitates then wraps his pinky around Steve's. "I hope our dates don't show up then," Eddie says with a big smile.
"Me neither," Steve agrees.
-:-:-:-:-:-
"I can't believe it's working!" Robin excitedly shouts from the passenger seat of Nancy's car.
"Me either," Nancy agrees as she watches Eddie rant while flailing his hands and Steve laughs. After a moment, Steve rests his hand over one of Eddie's and gives it a squeeze. Eddie flushes enough that Robin and Nancy can notice from the slight distance.
"Do you think they're going to kill us when they see us?" Robin asks.
Nancy scoffs, "No, they'll probably be over the moon thanking us. I'm just surprised that they agreed to go along with the date without thinking we were pranking them or something."
"Maybe the dinguses just finally sucked it up and admitted they liked each other when they figured out the plan," Robin says with a shrug as she watches the two get up. "And it looks like it's our time to leave."
Nancy shakes her head and looks at Robin. "Wouldn't that draw more attention to us though? We should just let them go first while they're so absorbed in each other's company."
"That's a good ide-" Robin stops as she looks back at the pair. "They've spotted us. Shit."
"Like I said, they're probably going to thank us," Nancy says, praying she's right. She rolls down the window as they approach.
Steve waves with a big smile. "Hey! We thought it was you, but we just wanted to let you know that your dates for us stood us up, but that's okay. Great really because Eddie and I decided you know..."
"I finally confessed that I've been pining after him," Eddie says nearly bouncing up and down.
Steve turns to look at him. "Wait, the person you said was out of your league, that was me you were talking about me earlier?"
"Steve, I thought you realized that after I told you I've had a crush on you for years now."
"Oh. Hey, I'm not out of your league at all, if anything you're out of my..." Steve trails off and seems to realize Robin and Nancy are still there, "Well, we're going to make up for lost time, but it was good seeing you. Thank you for attempting to set us up!"
Eddie and Steve wave as they leave, laughing about something moments later.
"Oh my god, did they just...."
"Holy shit, do they really think..."
Robin and Nancy look at each other and nod. "Dingues," they agree.
They look back as Steve and Eddie seem to argue about what car to take back and Robin sighs, "They'll eventually realize, right?"
"I doubt it," Nancy says.
Steve and Eddie walk towards their own cars seeming to realize that they don't have to drive together. "Gosh, they were made for each other."
It's years down the line when Steve and Eddie are telling the story of their first date when Nancy and Robin finally get fed up and tell the truth, but Steve and Eddie still don't believe them. Once a dingus, always a dingus.
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callmerainman · 1 month
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Accidentally In Love | sinner!Adam x fem!sinner!Reader
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PART 1 | PART 2
plot. You and Adam became friends with benefits. The lines of your situationship are blurred. Even more so when you and the First Man get closer and closer. What will it take you to understand that you and Adam are falling in love?
word count. 3.8k
tags. enemies to lovers, sinner!Adam, friends with benefits, sexual content, p in v sex, Adam Has a Heart, falling in love, Reader has wings, Reader is Lucifer's Royal Guard.
TW! this chapter contains an explicit sexual scene, MINORS DNI
taglist. @kaces-mind @call-me-nyxx @serendipitous-fernweh @plutodestr0yedme @luvvnightingalee
a/n. here it is, final chapter! Thank you for reading this silly little fic, I'll for sure write more about Adam soon! Hope you enjoyed it <3
"and now I go and spoil it all by saying somethin' stupid like I love you"
It’s karaoke night for you and Adam. Yeah, karaoke night. At first it started off as a joke. One time, after an usual afternoon of strenuous intercourse, you and Adam found yourselves singing “Out on the Tiles” by Led Zeppelin. You had decided to put on some music in shuffle to try to muffle up your obscene sounds that both of you understood you couldn’t contain. Next thing you knew you and Adam were performing an improvised gig on the already ruined bed of your room.
“I’m so glad I’m living and gonna tell the world I am” you sang out of your lungs, holding an imaginary mic.
You pointed towards Adam, prompting him to finish the lyrics. Smiling, Adam clenched his hand in a fist to pretend to be on the mic too. He leaned backwards, throwing his head back.
“I got me a fine woman and she says that I’m her man” he sang back, enthusiastically.
This singing shenanigans would happen so often that you decided to set your own karaoke night on Fridays. You and Adam stole a karaoke machine from a bar and installed it in his room. And now he’s holding you by the shoulders, vigorously shaking you in a playful manner as you can’t stop laughing.
“Feels like you’re dying, you’re dying” he sings with all the air he could gather.
You bend in half, this time a real mic in your hand “Youuuuuuu, your sex is on fire”.
Adam mimics a guitar riff with an high pitched voice as you sing along to Kings of Leon.
“Consuuuuuumed, with what’s to transpire!” Adam goes, crouching onwards himself.
Something definitely changed between you and Adam. You still don’t know what it is but it’s pacifying you.
The other patrons at the Hotel noticed, even though a bit later. Your relationship was so obviously sexual that none of them really stopped to think if there was more. Until signs started to show.
One time, all of you were watching a movie downstairs. You had forced Adam to participate even if he didn’t want to and was suggesting to have another karaoke night instead. But in the end, you both plopped down on the couch next to each other with everyone and got comfortable in front of a romantic comedy Charlie put on. At first, you and Adam tried to keep your facade of annoyance. You and him were so dense, you didn’t think the others knew that you two were fucking, so you had to pretend to still hate each other. But, as the movie progressed, you and Adam lost your purpose of showing a fake resentment. You glanced down and noticed the tip of your fingers resting really close to Adam’s. His fingers, weirdly enough, were moving in a jerking motion, stroking the fabric of the couch back and forth, as if he was nervous. You moved your fingers closer. With unusual uncertainty from his part, Adam slid his fingers even closer to yours, making them touch. And you and Adam held hands. You decided not to mention it, staring at the TV with your face on fire and his cheeks colored in a red hue. Your hands stayed intertwined the whole movie, and when it ended you separated quickly, again naively thinking that nobody noticed. But, during the movie, Angel had definitely noticed. The spider demon let out one of the loudest gasps in his life as he covered his mouth with four hands. When you and Adam went upstairs later, everyone was still hanging out in the common room. And Angel raised his shoulders and arms.
“Are y’all blind or did you see what I saw?” he asked, almost irritated.
“What?” Cherri asked while mindlessly scrolling on her phone.
“Like, (Y/N) and Adam holding hands?!” he exclaimed, his arms dramatically falling flat on his sides.
“They’ve been fucking like two horny rabbits for months and this is where you draw the line?” Husk questions, raising a red eyebrow.
“Fucking is one thing, holding hands while watching a romantic movie is another!” Angel protest.
Cherri chuckles “It’s obvious by the amount of sex they have that there’s more”.
“Obvious?” Angel questions “Uhhh, hello?? Hate sex is a thing!”.
And that wasn’t the one and only time. Seems so obvious to everyone now, except to you two. It’s in the way you and Adam snuggle during movies, or when you’re cooking and he hugs you from behind, resting his chin in the space between your horns. It’s in the fact that you don’t call each other names anymore unless you’re having sex. Or when you fly around the city together pulling pranks on people, and sing your hearts out during karaoke. Now it’s not only in the way you two wildly wrestle under the sheets. It’s in the goofy way you try to sweep it under the carpet.
“Uh, we’re going upstairs uh to…FIGHT! Definitely not to have sex! Because we hate SEX!” Adam stopped “No wait, I love sex, I mean-“
“We’d HATE to have sex with each other!” you say, trying to back him up.
“Exactly, not with such a stupid cunt!”
“Hey, too much” you whisper, elbowing his side.
“Oh shit I’m so sorry babe”
And everybody looked at you the most unconvinced, inexpressive poker face. But Charlie, underneath, felt that it was heartwarming. Even if Adam whispered in your ear a “can’t wait to fuck your brains out” when displaying apparent affection, she knew that something was going on and it was nothing but beautiful. This is the purpose of the Hazbin Hotel, after all.
Honestly you have no idea what you and Adam are right now. First, you were just a Royal Guard who had to surveil the First Man on Earth, the Exterminator. Then you became his friend with benefits. Now sex is still here, but maybe you’re more friends than anything? Or more. Nothing was defined. You never set boundaries. You had your fair chances of getting intimate with other people, but it felt so wrong so you never went for sex. Adam felt the same. When Cherri brought everyone to the club to have a night out, he had his opportunities to have sex with other girls. But he just didn’t feel like it was right. Especially not if you were in the club with him.
“You can do what you like, you know?” you suggested him in his ear one of those times, in a space between the bar counter and the dance floor. But Adam just shook his head.
“Nah, don’t really feel like it. I mean, yeah that bitch with the black top was all over me but she’s not my type”
He tried to play it cool, not looking at you in the eyes. But in reality, Adam was just checking around to see if your friends were looking. And when he made sure that they were out of sight, he cupped your face in his hands and kissed you deeply. It was unexpected coming from him, sure, but you let yourself melt in his kisses as music bumped in your ears. Something was happening.
“Here you are” you say.
Your hair is flowing, moved by the slow but firm flapping of your wings. You’re suspended meters and meters high, just in front of the Hazbin Hotel sign. Adam is sitting on the “Z”, holding his golden guitar in his hands. He looks kinda annoyed.
“I was just practicing guitar” he says.
“And I’m still a Royal Guard on duty”
“If your duty is going at it with the one guy you were supposed to surveil, then you’re already doing a great job”
You roll your eyes and scoff “Funny, very funny Adam”.
“Alright, you can hear me play something” he gives in.
“As long as it’s not Wonderwall”
“The fuck no, I fuckin’ hate the Oasis!”
So, with another flap of your wings, you gracefully land next to him. You expect Adam to go wild with one of his exaggerated, over-the-top and ego-boosting guitar solos. But instead, Adam quietly starts a finger picking, quite tune. It’s not a specific rock song, just a chill, peaceful chord progression. Adam starts humming a tune, eyes closed. You press your elbows against your knees and rest your cheek in the open palm of your hand, looking at the view. Pentagram City is a mess, for sure. But with Adam’s unusually calm vocalizing, and his presence, it feels like home. You peek a look at Adam. He’s still keeping his eyes closed, it’s the first time you see him so calm, and not his loud, immature self. He’s beautiful. You realize that your face is hot. And you can’t see it but your pupils are dangerously dilated. You press your lips together, and you feel your heart pounding in your chest. Oh you know what’s happening. Maybe you should make it stop. You try to take a deep breath. You’re so in love with Adam.
Adam is lost in his own thoughts and music. He was so comfortable in your presence as he strummed that he almost forgot you were there. He opens his eyes, he just wants to take a quick look at you before closing them again. He realizes that he’s done for the moment he sees how you’re looking at him. With shining eyes, dilated pupils, a fond smile on your face. He doesn’t really realize what it means for you, neither do you. But now his heart is beating at unprecedented speed. Shit, shit, shit. It’s not the first time it happens with you. One time, he felt this way when he woke up before you and saw you sleeping naked next to him, cuddled in his arms. The other was when you held hands for the first time during movie time with the other guests. But this time he’s feeling it on a whole other level. You’re so beautiful. And you’re standing by him listening to his tunes despite the man he is. The one who did so much harm but it’s trying to get better. Adam doesn’t know if he actually has gained any redeeming qualities, but one thing he’s sure about is that at least with you he is a better man. He thinks back on when you two used to argue non stop, resenting each other’s presence. It looks like a far, distant reality that never happened, if anything it’s at least a joke. Adam is so in love with you.
Sex still represents the majority of your relationship with Adam. Unlike your feelings, it never changed. Always so loud, fun, satisfying for sure, and unhinged. You and Adam could unleash your personalities at best under the sheets, and that was the best part of it. But this time, something is out of place. Not in a bad way, at all.
Adam is on top of you, placed between your spread legs. His wings are wide open, covering your naked bodies and encapsulating them in a small space reserved to only you two. His thrust are firm, but also slow and sensual, which wasn’t really his style. He’s holding your face with both hands, as he’s mesmerized by your deep moans of pleasure. You cling onto him with nails and legs, holding him as if he was about so slip away. You open your eyes, and catch him staring. He would usually say something sarcastic, like asking the fuck are you looking at. But instead, he looks lost in a profound state of blissful hypnosis, his pupils dilated and mouth slightly parted. Then, Adam plunges forward, still sliding in and out of you with slick sounds. Your breathing becomes even more irregular, hips jerking under his body as waves of pleasure hit you. You tug at Adam’s hair in the spot between his horns. With one hand, Adam firmly holds your hip, while the other has its fingers entangled in your hair, lightly pulling them.
“A-Adam…please I’m so close” you stutter. You would never beg usually, but this time it’s hard not to do so.
What surprises you is the way Adam responds. He would have usually bragged about you begging for him to make you reach your climax, reminding you how much of a whore you are for him. And you would have protested by flipping the roles and making him a mess under your body. But Adam just sinks his face in your neck, whispering.
“I know baby, I know. I got you” he says, interrupted by a moan “Fuck you’re doing so good I swear”.
His movements in you become more erratic, sloppier, and his breath hotter against your ear. The fingers plunged in your hair start stroking your scalp, you try to suffocate your moans of pleasure in his shoulder. You come first around his shaft, whispering quietly his name until you come down from your high. Adam climaxes second, emitting a low, strangled moan in your neck as his wings twitch. You take some time to realize how good it was, your chests rising and lowering with every breath, holding each other. It’s when your mind clears that you realize how atypical of a sexual encounter that was for you and Adam. It was…sweet? Really intimate and not in the physical meaning of the word? Adam never praised you in bed, and you never spoke to him so gently asking to make you finish. And the way he looked at you was absurd, to say at best. With a cherry colored hue on his cheeks, and a light in his eyes you rarely saw in him.
“Ah shit that was great” Adam chuckles, collapsing next to you.
The pride in his face says it all, maybe you were wrong before. You mentally shrug.
“Yeah” you roll on your side, facing him “but I’m so hungry right now”.
Adam sighs, looking up at the ceiling “When I was in Heaven, there was this place that delivered the best fucking ice cream your taste buds could ever graze. A mountain of it. Great for after sex I swear. I miss it”.
Adam takes the opportunity to talk about Heaven more. He’s clearly being nostalgic. He misses it. And while you like hearing him waffling about all the crazy concert he performed, the best restaurants, theme parks and clubs in Heaven, you can’t help but frown. A small smile still lingers on your face, but you ask yourself if Adam really belongs in here. A part of you says of course yes, the other is unsure.
“You know” you say, scooting closer to him “I’ve never really asked myself about how life in Heaven would be. But it really sounds like a beautiful place”.
Adam nods, twisting on his side to face you “Oh fuck yeah it was, I wish I could…”
He interrupts himself as he meets your face, pressed against the pillow. A small, comprehensive smile is gently placed on it, and your eyes are stuck in his own with a visible shine.
Oh no don’t look at me like that.
Adam’s grin disappears, he looks away and tries to play it cool as always, glancing around the room. He clears his throat.
“Yeah I mean, Heaven was great but under a certain perspective…” he trails off.
You wait for him to finish, and he can’t escape your eyes. He finally reciprocates again, getting lost into them.
“Hell is not half-bad, for some reasons” he says.
Adam doesn’t realize it, but now he’s smiling too. His eyebrows are arched upwards in adoration as he ponders on every inch of you. Your now relaxed expression, your glimmering eyes, your naked body covered in white sheets, your head slightly plunged in the pillow. Suddenly, Adam’s smile fades. His eyes go wide, and his heart skips a beat. A wave of realization hits him.
“Holy shit (Y/N) I’m so in love with you”.
Both of you jump in surprise, moving away from each other as the mattress bounces under your bodies. You clench the sheets, and you feel your heart pounding. Where did that come from?!
“What?!” you exclaim.
“WHAT?!” Adam yelps back, incredulous of his own words.
He didn’t mean to say it out loud, he didn’t even mean to say it in his mind actually. You can feel his own panic on your skin, as every inch of your body figuratively catches fire. You don’t know what to say. Adam sits up, covering his face with a hand in embarrassment.
“Fuck! I’m so sorry I ruined everything!” he exclaims, voice panicky.
“Ruined what?”
Oh no. It takes you a second to realize what you said. Adam’s hand files down from his face and looks at you. And you see something you thought you would never witness on Adam’s face. Pain. Adam is hurt. His mouth is slightly open, his breath suspended, his eyebrows knitted. You used to call him many names when you two argued. An asshole, a dirtbag, a dickhead, an irresponsible, immature jerk. But Adam never batted an eye. It’s the first time you see an unmistakable, terrible flash of pain in his face. You feel horrible. You sit up, your mouth open and about to say something. It’s hard to gather the right words after saying something so wrong. You extend a hand towards him, but Adam leans back, away from your touch.
“Adam fuck that’s not what I…” you say, voice shaky.
Adam shuffles away from you again, his face full of regret, embarrassment and clearly pain. He shakes his head, proceeding to get out of bed. He starts looking frantically for his clothes, putting them on as quick as he can. No words come out your mouth, your mind too confused and full of things to process. In just a matter of seconds, Adam is already dressed.
“I-I’m sorry, I gotta go” he stutters, looking at you for a split second.
“Adam, wait! I’m sorry I didn’t mean to sa-!”
You don’t have time to finish what you have to say. Adam had already opened the window of your room, and in the blink of an eye he flew away. Shit, shit, shit! Why did you even say that? That came out so wrong. But you couldn’t help it, you were so taken aback by his sudden confession. You mentally punch yourself in the face. Physically, you limit yourself to drag a hand down your face and groan loudly in your palm. You try to give yourself some time to think, you don’t want to hurt Adam even more. You spend some minutes with your face smothered in your pillow, suffocating sounds of pure frustration. After you gathered your thoughts together, you finally get up from the bed. You put your clothes back on, and head towards the still open window. With a strong flap of your wings, you sprint upwards. As you thought, Adam is sitting on the Hotel sign. He looks pissed. His lips are tightly pressed together and his eyebrows are knitted at the corners. He notices you but doesn’t look up.
“Adam, c’mon…” you say, as kindly as you can.
You keep floating in front of him, the wind generated by your wings making Adam’s hair slightly flow. He doesn’t look at you, he’s just staring at his own knees. For a solid minute you two don’t say anything. Silence has never been a thing between you and Adam, but you respect his wish. Suddenly, Adam breaks it.
“It’s not like you have to pity me” he mumbles.
“I’m not pitying you”
“Um yeah? I just ran off like a pissy school girl and here you are looking at me like a lost child”
“Adam-“
“You know how much time has passed since I last said those words?”
You don’t say anything. Adam finally looks up at you, his eyes a mess of emotions.
“Centuries” he says, spiteful of himself.
Your eyebrows arch upwards in surprise, your forehead corrugated. Your stomach burns, as you can finally feel every emotion Adam tried to hide under sarcasm for so long.
“Centuries?” you ask.
“Yeah, and I know I’ve been literally fucking around for a lot of time so it’s actually my fault, but I can’t say that I don’t mean it once I say it”
“Adam, my question was genuine”.
His mind stops in his tracks. You look weirdly calm. A bit unsure, of course, this is your first very serious conversation. But you’re still collected and he envies you.
“I really wanted to ask you what did you think you ruined. Because I’ll admit it, and I don’t wanna hurt you even more, but I don’t know what goes on in your head. We have all this sex, but also some care, but we also bicker. It’s confusing. I don’t even know if monogamy is your thing. But you showed me care. Sometimes, you still are a bit of a jerk let’s be honest. But I felt care too”.
Your stomach is twirling around, but you can’t stop your flow of consciousness. You wanna know what Adam means, what the First Man wants from a sinner he swore to hate not so long ago. Adam strokes his hair with a hand. His blush intensifies.
“I myself don’t really know what we are. If you know please fuckin’ tell me. What I know is that I feel something, love if that’s what we wanna call it. I mean, look at you! You sing along to rock songs with me, you know how to fight and look so badass while doing it, and you’re hot as fuck too! But if you don’t feel the sa-“
In a sudden movement, you zip towards Adam and grab him by his robe to push him on your lips. He lets out a muffled sound of surprise, but quickly closes his eyes to reciprocate the kiss. It’s calm, sweet, your lips and tongue are moving in tandem in such a tender yet passionate manner. It’s full of care, whatever it is. When you pull away, you look at each other in slight embarrassment. But you push it back immediately.
“I would have never thought I’d say it to you, but I do love you, Adam. Even if you’re still not perfect at all, you’re still a dickhead let’s admit it, I feel something for you. And I don’t expect you to suddenly become a better person just for the sake of being with me, but right now I’m sure I love you like this”.
You had blurted it all out in a single breath, still close to Adam’s face after your kiss. And finally, he smiles. Not with his usual teasing, shit eating grin. He smiles genuinely.
“I still don’t know if I’ll be a redeemable man, or if I want to become one. But at least with you I feel a bit of a better man”.
You smile back at Adam. He looks like a whole other person compared to how he was when you met. He still is his old self. But you came to love him. You and Adam lean forward, capturing yourselves in another deep, thoughtful kiss. Your wings meet, grazing each other as they close around you two. After a while of getting lost in your affection, you separate and playfully smirk.
“C’mon you whiny baby, why don’t we go downstairs to join everyone for movie night?” you suggest.
Adam groans and rolls his eyes “Us being a thing doesn’t mean that I have to participate in every fuckin’ activity of this Hotel”
“Uhh, yeah it does? I’m still in charge of forcing you to join. Now get your lazy ass off of there and let’s go”
“Okay, finee but can we have sex again after?”
“Of course we can”
“Hell yeah”
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sor-vette · 2 years
Text
"I just think they're neat" fic rec list (p.1)
Breaching the quiet and reaching out to the authors of some of my favourite stories. The talent you all have? Insane. This community? Elite. If you ever feel like the silence is too loud in here, know that I'm screaming louder. You're doing awesome job, writers, I applaud your work :)
An abbreviated moodboard of the emotions I felt while reading through these
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Namjoon
Namjoon x Tell Mama by @pinkcherrybombs
No summary but this is the best smut by far. Am I biased? yes. Still I have enough logic left in my skull to realize a masterclass sensuality when I see one
The Passport by @alpacaparkaseok
You embark on a memorable journey in an attempt to return Kim Namjoon’s passport. What lengths will you go to in order to return his passport on time?
Butter by @alpacaparkaseok
They made ARMY sit through an hour of melting butter. Now we return the favor.
Out of the Woods by @angelicyoongie
Yoongi
Golden Hour by @alpacaparkaseok
In which Yoongi is the boy you’ve friend-zoned for years and you finally realize that he’s all you want.
Memoir of a Fake Girlfriend by @alpacaparkaseok
“I need to ask a favor…” “Nope. No way. I am not pretending to be your girlfriend again.” “Oh, c’mon!”
Desolate by @angelicyoongie
Beloved by @bang-tan-bitches
Court was just a game of politics after all. And you intended to win.
Purgatory by @deepdarkdelights
The Good Part by @introlxv
Min Yoongi knew you liked him just as much as he liked you. so why not skip all the chit-chat and get straight to the good part?
A Heart Loved by @btsrunmylife
I've linked only Yoongi one, but please read the rest of the Comfort Drabble series, it's a *chef's kiss*
Call me Naive by @btsrunmylife
Yoongi’s intentions really weren’t to drive you away. His curiosity merely got the best of him. But now…he’s woven an intricate mess he can’t get out of. And he can’t help but wonder, will this be the thing that finally pushes you over the edge?
Guardian by @letspurpletogether
You have never meddled with hybrid affairs, not until the night you find a stray panther hybrid hiding behind some trash containers. 
Jin
The Other Side by @alpacaparkaseok
How to survive a soulmate encounter: first, get into separate rooms. Second, call 911 if there are no soulmate assistant present. Should be fairly easy, right?
Hoseok
Wake Me Up by @introlxv
Hoseok decides to treat himself after a long day of work.
Jimin
Esse Tuus by @lavienjin
You’ve been plagued by dreams of your boss ever since you started working for him to the point where you’re unable to “play” with anybody else. Frustration and possible lack of sleep has you feeling lethargic, to a point where you find yourself falling asleep at work, but little do you know that someone is behind it all.
Scream for Me by @lunaandhertrashheap
It’s your last Halloween Carnival as a senior in college and as is tradition, you and your friends get drunk and dressed up just to go to the Fun-House Maze. But all week you’ve been receiving unsettling phone calls from an unknown number, commenting on your outfit, your bitchy friends, and your cliche quarterback boyfriend. Determined not to be scared into another night in, you go out with your friends anyway. But when you somehow get separated from the group, that feeling of unease morphs into fear; especially when you discover you’ve walked right into his trap.
Jungkook
If I could lie by @alpacaparkaseok
“I’ll feel much better if you let me walk you home.”
I'll Love You Until You Love Yourself by @jiminiesfavouritecolourisblue
OT7 x reader (poly + not poly)
Oh My Lucifer by @pinkcherrybombs
In hopes of achieving a high mark in your final exam you’re willing to give up anything, including your soul. However when your drunken joke of a ritual suddenly comes true, how do you even begin to explain your logic to the seven demon lords seated in front of you
The Spooked + The Pact by @alpacaparkaseok
You + all 7 members of BTS visiting a haunted house. What could go wrong? So, so much.
How to Sell Sunshine by @alpacaparkaseok
“I’ve always wanted to be the villain.”
Restitution by @cloudteawrites
When an estranged uncle leaves you his massive fortune you wonder if the universe is playing a joke on you. when that fortune comes with seven hybrids, you know for sure that it is.
Abundance by @angelicyoongie
Lovesick by @angelicyoongie
Office CEO's (drabbles) by @jiminiesfavouritecolourisblue
Return of the Empress by @you-are-my-joy
After one fateful night, you find yourself transmigrated into your favorite novel as the Empress that shares the same name as you. As a bookworm, most would think you’d be happy, but how could you be happy when the Empress you’ve become is expected to be killed in three months. The only thing on your mind now is to learn how to survive.
Enchanted to Meet You by @ditttiii
No one ever told you that you had a soulmate or—soulmates for that matter. humans don’t have soulmates but shapeshifters do. what are you supposed to do when the seven members of the worlds biggest boy band turn out to be your soulmates—only for you to realise that they aren’t even human.
Home Calls the Heart by @anonnie-in-wonderland
Twenty-year old L/N Y/N realizes she might be, okay, is a little bit of a social pariah. But there’s not much she can really do about it. Until a dreary winter day, when a determined, persistent dog hybrid named Taehyung shows up and declares that he’s interested in adopting her for himself and the rest of his lonely pack.
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true-blue-sonic · 3 months
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I think a lot of people have a hard time grasping Silver's character because he doesn't fit into an easy to describe archetype. I still see people say that he doesn't have a personality outside of comics because his character chemistry and personality type outside of his optimism and determination/mission focus just isn't apparent.
I'd say his personality type is brash, sarcastic and direct but you'll almost never find those qualities listed in official descriptions.
For me, Silver's character is kind of... a juxtaposition between various traits to combine in a very specific way. Overall, I would argue Silver has two main "cores" of his character. You have one that contains his more naive and kind nature, that shows appreciation for minor details like blue skies and people smiling, that values others' happiness dearly, gives him his hopeful and optimistic attitude, and that makes him go back to the past each and every time to ensure his future is safe. And you have his hotheaded, brash, and rude side, that is competitive and impatient, that puts himself as being 100% in the right all the time and everyone who does not agree with him as obstacles to be overcome. And indeed, both of those "cores" can be seen as individual archtypes (e.g. the wide-eyed idealist versus the battle-hardened gruff world-saver), but they're still also both a part of Silver. Sonic '06 is kind of more the first, I would say, Rivals leans wayyyyy more into the second, and I think my own favourite interpretation of Silver is when he's both. Tremendously kind-hearted and willing to give everything for the world, shrewd and always correct in the end, but short-sighted and impatient in the process. And I would say there's also a potential third "core", that contains his more sarcastic side and calmer but battle-loving nature when there are no emergencies happening, like Colours DS.
As for him not having a personality outside the comics... Oof😅 I know people like to joke about how the Rivals games are the games wherein everyone just fights each other all the time over nothing, but there's so much personality for Silver there! He realises that "Eggman" is actually Nega solely because "Eggman's" mannerisms and speech are too similar to Nega's, alongside a slip of "Eggman's" tongue about the future. He all but baby-talks the Chao, and remembers that they live in packs, making him figure there's more than the one he just found. He gets noticeably crass with Knuckles when Knux calls him crazy. He goes out of his way to warn Shadow about "Eggman" potentially not being real, and he ends Rivals 1 with marvelling about Sonic and Shadow being brave. He very directly tells Espio that of course he expects Espio to believe his (honestly entirely unbelievable) story. And so on and so forth: these are just the examples I remember without even looking up the games themselves. In other words: he is shrewd and notices small details, he likes cute things like the Chao, he gets personally offended when someone insults him/his mission, he's very blunt and direct, and he's got a softer and more introspective side to him that he can share with others. And what about Generations, wherein he says that a rematch with Sonic will be fun? Blood knight! Or his suspicion about whether Sonic is the real Sonic or a fake trying to swindle him out of the Chaos Emerald? Being wary is also personality aspect, I would say. Him shooting Infinite's boasting about there being no hope down immediately by outright stating Infinite is lying also shows he's got a hopeful attitude and firm beliefs he doesn't waver from easily. So no, the idea that he "doesn't have a personality" outside of the comics is just outright false to me.
Overall, I think Silver's personality is difficult to get down because it clashes with itself somewhat: it contains traits that perhaps are difficult to really combine, yet they did for Silver and it works (for me lol). But indeed, it's not an easy archtype that can be summed up in just one or two words. That is actually most of the game!Sonic characters, I would say: almost all of them have a lot more underneath the surface than you would say at first glance. But I do wonder if we'll ever get a shift in the perception on Silver that focuses on both "cores" again, instead of only picking a few traits at best and running with those.
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calekinnieplus · 8 months
Text
It is time to sleep and also time to recount what I've read today. I have read quite a bit today as well. 6 ½ hours. Not bad, right? Heh. I've reached chapter 673 and my reading app says I've read 48% of the novel. Very encouraging! ...or not. I won't be able to finish it this month, it seems. Pity. Either way, it's recap time!
The best news first! Sequence 5!! Our boy is a Nimblewright Master! He's a powerhouse! After all that hard work, we see results! He's on the threshold of demigod, oh wow. It's actually insane. And the corresponding abilities are also terrifying. On the surface they're scary, but used by our sharp, experienced Klein, I can't help but feel pity for his enemies.
Next, what also intrigued me was the appearance of Queen Mystic, Bernadette! Really didn't expect her to have had a hand in Gehrman Sparrow's fake identity. And all the other stuff was also surprising. Like, in no way would I have connected new Tarot Club member, The Hermit, Admiral of Stars Cattleya's teacher and mentor with the only other transmigrator Emperor Roselle's daughter, Bernadette. It just seems to be a part of two different stories. And she figured out who Hero Bandit Dark Emperor was, too! She's quite smart. I like her
The third thing I wanted to talk about was the whole night and dream world that happened in the... Sonia Sea, I believe? I can't remember the actual name. Where the mermaids are. Anyway, that whole thing is so... mysterious and historical, to some extent, my gut says we might return here later. Like, the similarities between this "world" and the Forsaken Land of the Gods make me raise an eyebrow, ya know?
But honestly, idk if it's because I'm unfamiliar with Chinese novels or if that's just the way LOTM is, but my predictions don't really seem to work 8 out of 10 times lol. It's great, it keeps me on my toes lmao
Fourth thing! Derrick’s exploration into Afternoon Town! We actually learned about another King of Angels and some snippets that could be clues to the downfall of the Kingdom of Silver. Like, initially when we got into it, I was more impatient to get back to Klein’s storyline, but then shit went down, and I got completely sucked in lmao. Like?? I commend Derrick’s bravery and knowledge to deal with that situation properly. The fact that he's also not as naive as before is also very enjoyable for me. It doesn't make my heart wince in discomfort when I realize he made a decision that could have horrible consequences later. It's not his fault. His circumstances are shitty, yet he's still a ray of sunshine. But! I gotta say, I'm so proud of the fact that he's learning from his mistakes. He's so lovely. I hope the City of Silver will get out of their miserable situation.
Moving on, I gotta talk a lil bit about unlucky Anderson! Honestly, the fact that he survived his ordeal would make him the luckiest of his crew, I suppose. His personality is so funny tho lmao. Whenever Klein’s Gehrman persona is paired up with a chatty person, I am thoroughly entertained hehe. The dynamic is just hilarious! Also, I gotta admit, at first I was as sus of Anderson as Klein was lol. He really had to start off the interaction with a joke that could be horribly misunderstood, huh? Poor guy lmao
Hmmm what else... oh yeah! Frank Lee! Funnily enough, right before his introduction, I saw a post about him and something about milk, with comments being like "I can never look at milk the same way again" and I was so confused. Until the milk scene. BAHAHAH he's so INSANE, what a madlad. And they call GEHRMAN crazy. Like, if it was just some crazy thoughts, sure. A lot of people have crazy thoughts. But that crazy f*cker is actively experimenting, on a boat in the middle of the sea, with his crewmembers as... test subjects to some degree?? I did Not expect him to be like That, LMAO
Well. A lot of unexpected things happen in this novel, I noticed.
And uhhhh yeah, this seems like most of what I wanted to chat about.
Side note, I was scrolling on tiktok and stumbled on a slideshow with the last scene from volume 1, the one where after Klein... "woke up" (revived), he automatically headed to Daffodil Street - home. But unable to go back there, he went and bought a ticket to Backlund. While waiting, he was struck with the need to see his siblings one last time, realizing that's the reason he took a ticket for such a late time. And there he went, stealing a glance at the people he cares about. Seeing them grieve him. After watching on helplessly, he got an idea. The siblings saw a clown running towards them, with colorful face paint. He had a Chrysanthemum, which represented happiness. All they saw... was a happy smile, an exaggerated smile, a ridiculous smile...
AH MAN, I BAWLED LIKE A BABY AGAIN WHEN I WAS READING IT EARLIER TODAY. LIKE, GIVE ME A BREAK, MAN T^T
Yeah. *cough* until next time!
Praise the Fool!
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destinyc1020 · 2 years
Note
I feel like it’s really funny when people don’t believe these weekend sightings. We know it’s more than likely not lies anymore at this point lol when they have legit been together every weekend in either city as predicted and are spending as much time as they can together making this work. This whole relationship level they are at is completely different animal. Especially after Zendaya’s birthday post and how they been moving for so long now, it’s a serious deal. It bugs me so much when I still see the ‘hope they last or blah blah’ juvenile comments like nahhh ya’ll gotta be young or naive to not see the massive shifts at play here. Nothing really seems impossible or like out of the realm of possibility anymore for them. From what Luca just said in an interview too, Z finishes in Boston this week or next week (?) so I’d guess shes sticking around New York for a bit longer (her bodyguard posted that he left with bags packed so he gone already) OR perhaps she’s going to get things sorted & organized before the move over to Europe for a few months. And at this point I think it’s a given Tom will fly back to LDN in Sept when TCR wraps and then -> straight to her eventually. The sightings are gonna be all over the place come fall and end of year. Tom’s probably so looking forward to taking the time off too after doing a tough role and just chilling/being a crew member/background extra on DP2 LOL. I joke I joke but…probs true. That boy will just golf, sleep and spend time with his wifey I’m calling it now.
Yea I agree Anon. 💯 At this point, whether one particular sighting is real or fake (these recent ones seem legit to me) doesn't even matter anymore, because if they didn't see each other one weekend, we KNOW they're gonna see each other on another weekend lol 😆 😆
Like, I honestly don't know what some fans think at this point. "Oooo if they haven't seen each other in 5 weeks that means they've broken up!" 🙄🙄
No, silly.... It just means that they're busy right now and have already planned their next time to meet and see each other lol.
I keep saying that THEY know their schedules better than we do. So, what may look crazy to us, makes perfect sense for THEM. 😏
And like you said, someone would have to almost be a FOOL not to see the major shift in the relationship during this Tomdaya 2.0 era that we're in now. Tomdaya 2.0 is in a whole different ballgame from Tomdaya 1.0. They are in their "grown" era. The signs are so glaringly obvious that things are getting really serious for them in their relationship. We almost don't even NEED sightings anymore because we already know that they're dating, duh lol 😂
Back in the Tomdaya 1.0 era, the sightings were a HUGE deal because it was just one more "hint" and piece of the puzzle for us to confirm what we already knew, which was that they were secretly dating each other for years.
Now days, we almost don't even need sightings anymore (although we love them lol 🥰) because we don't have to prove anything anymore. We already know they're dating lol. 😅
Sightings are just the icing on an already well-made, beautiful and tasty cake. 🎂 🥰
So yea, idk what their schedules are going to allow with regards to the fall, but what I do know is that they are going to definitely try to make time for each other with their busy schedules, like they HAVE been doing for almost over a year now. 😃👍🏾😊
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ladyviserra · 2 years
Text
Red Wedding | Robb Stark
Pairing: Robb Stark x Female!Reader
Summary: Robb Stark attends his uncle's wedding, unknowingly spending his last living moments, surrounded by enemies with fake smiles and evil intentions.
Warnings: death, murder, mentions of blood, Red wedding by itself, throat slitting...
A/n: Wanted to write something tragic and had this on my mind so here you go.
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The two of you were yourselves newly married. Robb was a great husband. Something many ladies could only dream of. A gentle and kind soul. He was raised well by Lord and Lady Stark. You hoped one day you could be the same parent as his parents were.
Your house is a smaller Northern house. Your cousin lost his life fighting for Robb, the same almost happened to your brother and father. It made you angry at the war and the Young Wolf for letting so many lives die.
But it all changed when you met. He wasn't selfish as you imagined, just a polite boy who didn't want this war either. You fell in love, finding comfort in one another. It was nice to have someone to make you feel better in such a cruel time.
Despite being promised to a Frey girl, he married you. Of course, you rejected him at first, he made a promise which shouldn't be broken. It wouldn't be honourable of him. But still, you spoke your vows, promising to love each other till the end of your days.
" Not all of my promises were kept, but the ones I promised you will be. I swear it. " He whispered to you, kissing your neck, keeping you warm.
You couldn't know if he would keep it, we never know such things. You could only hope his words matched his actions.
Walder Frey proposed to another marriage, this time with his daughter and Edmure Tully, Robb's uncle. You didn't trust the old man, hearing a lot of stories about the Freys being disloyal and not so quick to forgive.
Robb however succeeded to stop your worry. He was a good man, but a naive and too forgiving one.
On the day of the wedding, you felt sick. You throw up a few times. Lady Catelyn herself asked you to not attend the wedding, so you wouldn't feel even worse. You gladly agreed to stay in your tent, not wanting to meet Walder Frey again. He was a creepy old man who commented on your appearance and laughed your and Robb's marriage off.
It made you even sicker to think all of his wives had to live with him. Tough luck. It made Robb an even better man in your eyes, joking he might become the same once when he is older.
" Rest. " He kissed your lightly hot forehead.
" When I am back, I will make sure to not leave your side. " Your husband left with his mother to attend the wedding.
It would take long you thought. You had a wedding of your own and remembered very clearly how long the night was. How long does it take for you and Robb to be alone? People were dancing and singing and laughing, a joyful time.
Imagining the same for this wedding, you hoped Robb would come back early, as it took too long for you. Hearing the music playing loudly, thinking of his happy face.
You just wanted your husband in your arms. To be able to hug him and kiss him. Not catching any sleep without him.
The music quieted down, boring you with silence. You called for Grey Wind, finding it strange to not see him anywhere close to you.
Maybe he is with Robb. But they wouldn't put a direwolf in the middle of such an event. It's a big animal after all.
A commotion replaces the previous silence. Sounds of running and rushing, with slow groans. You stood from your bed, grabbing a cloak, pulling it over yourself.
Carefully walking to the outside, you are stopped by one of the knights.
" M'Lady, you have to come with me. " He takes your hand pulling at it.
" What is the meaning of this? What's happening? " Confusion tapes your face. The knight was almost shaking, nervousness was seen in his movements.
" The Freys betrayed us. They killed so many already...We have to get you out of here. "
" What about Robb? Is he safe? " You instantly panicked. Thinking of the worst.
" Please, my Lady we have to go. " He urged you, making sure no one saw him.
" I am not going anywhere until you tell me where is my husband. " You coughed out, looking seriously at him.
" I am afraid, his Grace is...was killed. " By your expression, he knew he shouldn't have told you. Your mouth felt dry, your chest was hurting, your eyes watering.
" What? " You asked still in disbelief.
" He is dead. " Your hands covered your face, starting to sobbed unstoppably. Knees unable to stay strong anymore, like they cracked as you fell to the floor that never felt colder.
" We have to go. They will get to us. " You wanted to tell him to run for his own life because you didn't have it in you. The man looked back and forth noticing some sons of Walder Frey turning to your tent.
" My Lady they will kill us too. " Scared face of his pleaded to you, but without any response. The only sound coming from you were of sobbing. Hearing the man choked you looked up at him witnessing a gruesome scene.
The man's throat was slit from behind, opening a big wound on his neck, making his body leap and fall to the ground. Making eye contact with the killer, seeing one of many Walder Frey's great-grandsons holding a knife in his hand, his father tapping his back, pointing a finger at you to kill next.
In any other situation, you would have run or fought back. Where though? To who? For who? The one you loved was dead, there is nobody for you.
The killer was approaching you while you didn't move from the spot you fell to.
" Is that her? " He asked, waiting for someone to answer him.
" Who else? It's their tent. " Another Frey spoke. The killer smirked at you before stabbing the knife into your chest. Pain overcame your body, but not as hard as hearing of your husband's death.
You looked one more time at him as he pulled a knife through you, stab after stab. The pain was the only thing you could feel. With closed eyes, you drifted away.
If he married a Frey girl he would be still alive. If you were supposed to die, you were supposed to die together. You were supposed to live. The Gods were cruel when they let this bloody wedding take many lives that had a lot before their end.
In the end, darkness consumes you, feeling numb no movement being made, no more hearing, seeing...
The pain disappeared just like yours and every life taken during the event later known as The Red Wedding.
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dothwrites · 3 years
Note
13 and 20
13. and 20.--Detective AU and Teacher AU
---
Castiel represses a sigh as he stands up straight. His spine pops as he subtly stretches out the kinks in his aching body.
He'd thought that he was a reasonably fit man, but bending over and scrubbing at filthy floors and tables every day is playing hell with his lower back.
The bell rings, and Castiel curses under his breath as he moves back against the wall. Less than thirty seconds later, all of the doors near him burst open and a flood of teenagers courses into the hallway.
Castiel's had a lot of unpleasant assignments in his life, but going undercover at Carver Edlund High School is among the worst. He thought that he'd seen some of the worst that humanity had to offer: murderers who cared nothing for the pain of their victims, kidnappers who plunged families into turmoil for years, robbers who were willing to kill just in order to get a few quick bucks. But upon seeing the horror show of the cafeteria after a group of freshmen finished lunch, Castiel has to start reevaluating his list of atrocities.
The tardy bell rings, and Castiel sighs as he steps out in the hall. He rolls his eyes at the debris that the students have left behind and grabs his push broom to start clearing it away.
Going undercover at Carver Edlund wasn't Castiel's first choice of assignments, but with several students ending up in the hospital due to drug overdoses, something drastic had to be done. Castiel's job is simple: gather as much intelligence as he can about where the drugs are coming from. If possible, he's to find the dealer and shut the whole production down.
In theory, it's a good assignment. Success here would mean a potential commendation, maybe a promotion if the operation is big enough. But the reality of the situation is much different. Castiel's been masquerading as a member of the maintenance team for a little over a week, and he's no closer to finding the source of the drugs than he was when he started.
His captain had ultimately decided to send him in as a member of the janitorial staff for access reasons: as a janitor, he has keys to every door. Not even lockers are safe from him. There's no place in the school off-limits to him. Unfortunately, it also means that his opportunities for questioning potential suspects are limited: no high school student wants to have long conversations with the janitor. He's reduced to sweeping around gaggles of kids, hoping that they'll just so happen to let something slip.
His plan hasn't worked. So far, he's learned about the latest TikTok challenge, who's rumored to have slept with who, and who on the football team is getting suspended, but drugs? Either these kids are savvier than he gives them credit for, or they don't know anything.
"Oh, sorry, 'scue me... Oh. Hi, Steve."
It takes Castiel just a second too long to respond to the name. Part of that is because he's still not used to answering to his cover name, and part of that is because he's still not sure how to act around Dean Smith.
He braces himself before he turns around, but that still doesn't prepare him for the sight of Dean Smith leaning against the wall. Looking at him is like looking into the sun, if the sun was in a dingy hallway with flickering florescent lights and questionable stains on the floor. Even with those inauspicious surroundings, however, Dean Smith, with his sandy hair, vibrant eyes, freckles, and bright, crooked grin, stands out.
"Hello, Dean." Castiel allows the hint of a smile to cross his face. He'd called Dean 'Mr. Smith' exactly once before Dean had put a stop to it.
"Oh, no," he said, grimacing in distaste, "I get enough of that from the kids. Just Dean, man." Castiel hadn't argued, and the slightly stuffy Mr. Smith became Dean.
"Another beautiful day cleaning up the debris of the world?" Dean gestures towards the small pile of dirt and dust that Castiel has managed to collect.
"It's a dirty job, but someone's got to do it," Castiel answers.
No doubt his superiors would be screaming if they could see him right now. Zachariah, his Captain, would sneer, You're there to catch drug dealers, Novak, not to play nice with pretty boy teachers, but Zachariah isn't here right now. Plus, it's not like Castiel's making any headway on the drug dealers, so he might as well indulge his crush with a guy who's miles out of his league.
Dean is the kind of good-looking that gets noticed by modeling companies in the line at the cafe. Castiel has found himself wondering, more than once, what a guy like him is doing substitute teaching. It's obvious that Dean is smart, and he doesn't doubt that he could have a job doing whatever he wanted. Still, Dean's being a substitute teacher works out well for him, so he doesn't complain. Not if it means that he can be just a little closer to him.
Maybe if Castiel wasn't undercover and wearing an unflattering jumpsuit with the name 'Steve' stitched across the front pocket. Maybe if he were dressed in his customary suit and had a badge and gun to flash around. Maybe, maybe, maybe.
"Don't talk to me about dirty jobs," Dean says, his voice entirely too low and insinuating for the circumstances. Heat blooms underneath Castiel's collar.
"Well, I'm not sure what else to talk to you about," he confesses. He resents the broom handle in his hands.
Dean shrugs. His smile is still carefree, but there's something else in his eyes when he says, "What about any books that you've read lately? TV shows that you've watched?" His eyes flash to Castiel's, and his tongue flirts with his lower lip as he asks, "Restaurants that you'd like to go to?"
Castiel's heart stutters. For a second, it sounded like... But that can't be right. Dean can't be inviting him out. Guys like Castiel don't go out with guys like Dean. That's just the way the world works. Maybe if he was Detective Castiel Novak, but now when he's Janitor Steve.
He takes a second too long to answer. By the time that he's managed to figure out that Dean is serious, Dean's expression has shuttered. He flashes a painfully fake smile at Castiel. "Hey, man, don't worry about it. I'll catch you later, okay?"
He's turning to go, and fear grabs at Castiel. He knows that if he lets Dean walk away, then everything will change between them. No more jokes, no more stolen conversations in the hallways. They'll become nothing more than vague, uneasy colleagues, at least until Castiel's assignment ends and he disappears forever from Dean's life.
The indignity of his assignment and the frustration of his ineptitude rises in Castiel, and bursts out of him in a quick call. "Dean!"
Dean turns around. Hope flickers in his eyes before he hides it. "Yeah?" he asks. The carefully blank tone in his voice is like a knife twisting in Castiel's chest.
"I like Italian food," Castiel answers. He offers a hesitant smile towards Dean, hoping against hope that Dean will accept his overture.
After a second, Dean's smile spreads slowly across his face, as bright as the sunrise. "Yeah," he says, nodding slowly, "yeah, I think we could do that."
---
Dean's heart dances in his chest as he walks away from Steve.
He did it. After weeks of ogling and tentatively flirting, he finally asked out the hot janitor.
Steve is a lot more than a pair of pretty blue eyes and a five o'clock shadow that makes Dean's lip yearn for stubble burn, though. (Though Steve does fill out a jumpsuit better than anyone Dean's ever seen. One day, he was lifting a desk onto the dolly so that it could be moved, and Dean thought his eyes were about to pop out of his skull. Between the thick thighs attempting to pop the seams on his pants, and the biceps rippling, Dean hadn't known where to look.) Steve has a wicked sense of humor, an innate sense of kindness, and he's caught every single one of Dean's literary references (the pop culture ones, not so much. Seriously, who's never seen Indiana Jones?). There's more to Steve than meets the eye, and Dean's itching to peel back the dozens of layers.
He ignores the tiny voice in the back of his head (which sounds like an alarming mix of Sam and Bobby) saying Don't get too involved. This is a temporary thing. Dean frowns and tries to tell the voice to shut the fuck up.
He's only here for as long as it takes him to figure out who's bringing drugs into the school. At the first viable lead, he'll be yanked out, and Dean Smith, substitute teacher, will die, to be replaced by Agent Dean Winchester of the DEA.
Because of the environment, there are multiple law enforcement agencies working on this case. There's state police, the DEA, and maybe even a few FBI agents sniffing around. It's naive to believe that there aren't other agents working in the school, but he hasn't come across any yet that he knows of. He's not entirely sure; he lets Bobby deal with all of the inter-agency bullshit. He has his mission and his cover, and Bobby, as his handler, can navigate every other pitfall.
Beyond small talk and leading conversations, Dean hasn't tried to get close with anyone. Every smiling face could conceal an undercover agent or a dealer. With suspicion everywhere, it's best not to succumb to temptation.
Which makes his attraction to Steve all the more intriguing.
Just thinking of the other man sets off a series of fireworks in the pit of Dean's belly.
This is probably a terrible idea, doomed to failure, but Dean is going to enjoy the ride while it lasts.
Whistling, he goes back to the classroom and prepares for his next class.
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emf005 · 3 years
Text
I'm Trying
Here is my weekly post! I hope you guys enjoy, this is a personal fave of mine. Please let me know what you think of it! I love to get feedback!
Marauders Era
Sirius Black x Fem! Reader, Remus x Twin sister! Reader. Marauders x Reader
Warnings: Swearing, mini make out sesh, sort of self harm, fear
You stole a piece of chocolate from your stash. You always had a secret stash in case you brother, Remus, ever ran out before the full moon. But you also had a bit of a sweet tooth yourself. Well, you could call it more than that actually. See, while your brother was a full werewolf, you were about half, but he didn’t know that. If he knew that he would actually lose it. The only person who knew was Lily, and she had found out by accident.
So, while your brother would always turn into a werewolf on full moons, you only sometimes did. You also got mood swings to the max. But no one ever questioned it because they assumed it was just girl stuff. And the four boys you hung out with, no matter how close you were, didn’t really want to strike up a conversation about that. Ever.
You see, your turning started your second year at Hogwarts. You woke in the forbidden Forest feeling like you had been hit with a ten ton bus. You put two and two together and started to ask Lily’s friend, Severus, if he could brew you a potion in secret. So I guess you could say two people knew. But it wasn’t like Severus would tell on you. You were always nicer to him than your friends were and he seemed to appreciate that. So, he always made you a potion while slughorn made Remus his.
James often asked why you never joined them. While your brother couldn;t become an animagus, you could for some odd reason. You turned into a small black and white ferret, while your brother couldn;t change at all. You felt bad, it was your fault he was like this, and despite his countless times he had told you it wasn’t your fault you both knew it was. But everytime James would ask Remus would answer for you.
“I don;t want her out there. I’m her brother. It's my job to protect her. I wouldn;t be able to live with myself if I accidentally did something to her.” You always clenched your jaw at his response. He still saw you as a little kid, despite being his twin. You couldn’t stand it!
You never thought anyone noticed these secret feelings you held against your brother. Oh how you were wrong. Sirius Black always noticed when Remus would say something to upset you. And he was always the one there for you. See, despite his liking for it, he had caught feelings for you. He thought he could trample them by asking out every girl in the school, but that only seemed to make his want for you grow. But he never said anything. You were his best friend’s twin sister. It was just wrong, no matter how strongly he felt for you.
The full moon was coming up again soon, and you ran down the hall to see your brother and friends waiting for you. Remus looking in his bag frantically.
“Hey, guys!” You smiled with fake cheer. You felt awful today, but you couldn;t let anyone see that. They might grow suspicious of your secret. “What's wrong, Rem?”
“He didn’t restock his backpack again with chocolate.” Peter squeaked. Remus threw him a dirty glance before rooting through his bag again. You internally groaned. You always had a stash in your bag, and you really needed it today. But, you were his sister. Sacrifices must be made. You slung your bag around and grabbed your whole stash and filled his bag with it. You even let him finish the one you had been munching on, much to your disappointment.
“Thank you, Y/N/N,” he said, stuffing the chocolate bar in his mouth. You just smiled at him and put your head down and clutched your messenger bag harder. White knuckling the strap. God, you wanted to rip the chocolate out of his mouth and just eat it. But no. You were a fucking good sister. And a fucking good sister you would stay.
Classes were a pain all day, especially with the smell of chocolate enveloping you every time Remus would open a new package. You had broken four quills by lunch and they were all joking about it.
You all headed out of your final class and down to the great hall, like you normally did. BUt Remus seemed to be in an even worse mode. You were glad he had the chocolate, he might’ve actually murdered someone. You, on the other hand, were so close to murder, but you had to keep that damn smile on and your shirt pulled up high onto your shoulder tightly, despite the heat. That's where Greyback had gotten you. Just a nip on the shoulder before remus thought it was a good idea to attempt to hit him with a chair. Key word, attempt.
Remus was on the end of the line bsides you. Some slytherin accidently knocked into him and he let out a growl as he kept walking and talking to the Huffelpuff. Here we go.
“You got a problem?” He whipped around, staring at the boy clad in green robes. The boy looked at him confused. You recognize him. Your year, Jacob Jemesky. One of the cutest boys in your year. I mean, his eyes alone were perfect enough.
“I’m sorry?” He asked. You put a hand on Remus’s shoulder.
“Rem,” but he shook you off and walked up to the boy.
“I said, you got a problem, Snake?”Your eyes widened and you became red faced. You walked over to him and pulled him away from the Slytherin, shoving him to SIrius and James who held him back and tried to get hima away from the situation.
“I am so sorry about that, Jacob, right?” You nodded a smile on his lips.
“Yeah. And no worries. Your, Y/N, right?” You blushed slightly.
“Yeah. Its nice to finally meet you. We’ve shared a few classes I think.” He nodded before his eyes flashing back to your brother.
“Is he alright? I really didn’t mean to-”
“He’s fine. Trust me. He just gets moody from here and there. I think its like a twin thing between me and him, knowing when one is going to have a bad day and all.” He nodded.
“Well, I have to get going, but I’ll see you around, Y/N.” He waved and started to leave.
“See you around!” You waved back. Your smile dropped as soon as he turned the corner. You took a few deep breaths and walked over to your brother who was still trying to get out of James and Siris’ grips. “You two can let go now.” The boys did as you said but were ready to grab him at any second.
“What the hell was that for, Y/N?” He shouted at you, making your back straighten, ready to take it all. He just had to yell at someone sometimes, and the majority of the time it was you.
“He didn’t do it on purpose, Rem. You know that. You just need to calm down for a second, ok?”
“Calm down? I am calm!” James went to say something but you just shook your head at him. You weren’t going to let them take any of this heat.
“Rem, you're really not. Please just-”
“Don;t tell me what to do, Y/N! I am sick of you trying to constantly manage every little thing that I do. You can’t even begin to understand what I go through! You have no right to tell me to calm down. Or to tell me what I am and what I’m not. You know why? Because I am a fucking werewolf becuase of you,” every bit of air was sucked out of the empty corridor. Luckily empty. But he didn’t stop there. “I took that bite for you! We both know it was your fault! You were too naive to even think for a second that it wasn;t smart to go outside that early in the morning when the moon was still out! It was all yoru fucking fault! So don;t tell me what to do, or how to feel or any of that, because this is all happening because of you!”
You stood frozen as his breath calmed. You had tears slipping down your cheeks which was a strange sight for everyone in your friend group. Yo never cried. But hearing Remus admit that it was your fault, you couldn’t handle it anymore. The dam just broke. You swallowed, trying to get the lump in your throat away.
“Are you better, Remus?” He just stared at you, his eyes turning from rage to fear as he heard what he had said and how you referred to him as Remus and not Rem or bro or some stupid nickname you had given him. You smiled sadly and wiped a tear away. “I’m glad. I’m glad that finally admitting the truth makes you feel better.” You turned and started to walk down the hall only to stop and look over your shoulder. “You know. I just have to say this because I have for a while now. I have always tried my best to be there for you. Always tried to be patient. Always tried to take care of you when you wouldn’t let me do more. And also, I’m not the bloody moron who hit Fenrir Greyback with a chair and didn’t have the arm strength for it and ended up falling out a window!” You spit at him before walking down the hallway, tears streaming down your face at this point.
Remus opened his mouth to call after you, but he saw Sirius bolting after you instead. He had fucked up majorly. He knew it. James took him by the shoulder and directed him towards the Great Hall. James being the only one who knew of Sirius’ crush on you and knowing that Sirius would be able to calm you down better than any of them. And if he couldn’t, then Remus had just gotten himself into a deep deep deep hole.
You sat in the small alcove you had found your first year. It was in a secluded part of the courtyard, only your lily and Sirius knew about it. Which sucked because they knew exactly where to look for you.
Your head was in your knees and silent tears continued to pour down your face and on your knees. You didn’t know what to do. Didn’t know how to feel. You just didn’t know.
“Y/N?” You looked up to see Sirius standing by the entrance of the alcove. He had pushed aside the vines that hid you from view and was watching you, waiting to see what you would do. You sat up quickly and brushed the tears aside, smiling at him.
“Hey, Sirius,” your voice cracked and you cringed. He gave you a small pitiful smile and made you move over so he was sitting next to you. “Is he ok?”
“He will be,” you sighed and rubbed your hands over your face.
“I shouldn’t have stormed off. Or said any of that,” Sirius frowned.
“You know Moony is my best friend, but he started that argument.”
“Yeah but with the full moon coming up… he’s just on edge, and I know that. And he was right, I just didn’t expect him to say it like that. I over reacted.”
“You were just helping out a Slytherin, who you obviously like,” he hit your shoulder and you laughed, you felt your shirt fall down a bit off your shoulder but didn;t go to move it.
“I just find him attractive. That was the first time I've talked to him.” Sirius smiled through his pain and laughed with you. His eyes fell to your shoulder for a moment and he froze.
“Y/N/N, what happened?” He questioned looking at the small mark that the werewolf had left all those years ago. Your eyes widened and you quickly pulled your sleeve back up and cleared your throat standing.
“No-nothing. Um… I-I have to-to… uh.. To go. I’ll-I’ll see you, Sirius. Thank you,” you scurried out of alcove and dashed through the halls. You knew you couldn’t avoid him for long. I mean, the four of them had the marauders map, they would find you anywhere you went. You walked into the Great Hall, thankful to see Lily sitting by James. “Lily!” She looked over at you and her smile fell when she saw the state you were in. She excused herself and came running up to you, leading you out the Hall and to your room.
“Are you ok? James told me the blow out-”
“Sirius saw the scar,” you interrupted her. She froze.
“Does he know?” You shook your head.
“No. But I know he’s going to question me as soon as I’m alone. I just didn't want that to happen.”
“Not yet, you mean.”
“Ever.” She sighed, but didn’t push the subject. She was adamant that you should tell the boys about your… condition. You were adamant that you keep it to yourself, forever.. The fights between you and your twin would get worse, and you couldn’t let that happen.
Sirius walked into the Great Hall, scanning the Gryffindor table for you, he came up empty. He sat down, but kept searching the hall and glancing at the doors every now and then.
“What wrong, Mate?” James asked, taking a bite of his sandwich. Even Remus was eating, slowly, but eating.
“Nothing,” he mumbled and took a banana from the table. If you acted like that around him when he saw that scar, he could only imagine you didn’t want anyone else knowing about it. “Do you have the map?” James nodded and handed over the map from his pocket.
Quickly, Sirius unfolded it and searched for your name. You were in the girls dormitory with Lily. His leg started to bounce while he considered going after you. He could always ask Lily if he could have a second with you. He just wanted to make sure you were alright. You seemed really upset when you stormed out.
Had you always worn long sleeves of some sort?
He handed the map back to James before standing up and heading towards the Gryffindor dorms. Maybe he could lure you out with some chocolate. He knew you were addicted to the stuff, practically eating it for breakfast, lunch and dinner, but you always gave your stash to your brother. Some days he wished you wouldn’t. Just because he noticed how you would stiffen at the smell of it, or when you heard a wrapper from your stash being un-did. He knew Remus needed it, but it seemed like you sometimes needed it just as much as he did.
He bumped into LIly in the common room, he opened his mouth but she held up a hand to silence him.
“Listen, I know you want to check on her. But she isn’t in the best state right now. Especially if you are going to be questioning her about what you saw.”
“I just want to make sure she’s alright. I won’t question her about it.” Lily bit her lip and thought about it for a moment before shaking her head. You had given the last of your chocolate stash to Remus the other day and were in desperate need. But she didn’t want to leave you alone with Sirius in the dorm. He knew how to get into the girl’s dormitory, no shock there, but seldom did it. And normally only did it to bug the hell out of you.
“I’m sorry. It really isn’t the best decision. I have to run out and get her more chocolate from the kitchens, the house elves keep a stash for her down there. Please, don’t go in.”
“I can grab some from Remus’ stash,” he offered. But she shook her head.
“Where do you think the rest of her stash went?” Lily smiled and left. Sirius sat down on one of the couches, his leg bouncing aggressively again. He knew he shouldn’t go into your dorm room. He really shouldn’t. But, the thing is, that only made him want to more.
“Lily?” He heard your voice and looked up and saw you on the staircase, looking worse for wear. Your eyes met his and you froze, visibly freezing.
“Hey,” he scrambled to his feet, but didn’t move towards you.
“H-Hey,” you stuttered, your eyes still locked on him.
“I-uh,” he cleared his throat awkwardly. Why wasn;t he good at being sincere like this? “I came to check on you. See if you were alright.” You eyed him cautiously.
“Uh. Yeah. I-I’m fine.I-uh-well, I can’t exactly explain-” He shook his head.
“You don’t have to.”
“Yeah, but I should. It was rude. And I still haven’t apologized to Rem,” you sighed and sat down on the stair, putting your head in your hands again. He slowly walked over and sat next to you, not talking. He just put his arm around your shoulders. You turned your head into him and he rested his chin on your head.
“You ok?” You let out a breathy laugh. And shook your head.
“Not really.”You heard the clock chime and knew Lily had gone to class and purposefully left you with Sirius, knowing of your… fondness... of him. Damn, you really needed chocolate. “Don’t you have to get to class?” He chuckled.
“When have I ever been on time?” You laughed, knowing how true his statement was. Only when he walked with you was he ever early or on time. Unless it was for transfigurations. He would stand outside the door until class was five minutes in before walking in dramatically, interrupting the entire class, and taking a seat next to you. Mcgonagall would huff in annoyance, but you knew she didn’t hate it. You also knew she knew what he didn everyday and never made any course of action to change it.
“Good point. But we are supposed to have transfiguration now. Don't you think Mcgonagall will miss you?”
“I bet she wouldn’t know what to do without me.”
Meanwhile in transfiguration:
“Ok, Black will be walking through the doors in three, two, one,” Mcgonagall kept talking but looked at the doors and waited for them to bang open with Sirius. Nothing happened. She began to sweat. “Where is he? What is he getting himself into? Did he die? Did someone else accidentally die and he is hiding the body?”
Back to the common room:
“Besides, I think you need a friend right now.” You smiled and nodded. “And chocolate.”
“Did I just get compared to chocolate?” He joked.
“You should be honored. I think very highly of chocolate. In my opinion it's better than christmas.” He laughed.
“Really?”
“Yeah. Christmas comes once a year, chocolate is a year long thing.” he laughed again, and you smiled, proud that you could make him laugh like that. Then your smile faded as you thought if his girlfriend made him laugh like that.
It's not like you would ever date him. You might have a crush on him, but you not only had to keep your secret a secret, but he was also your twin brother’s friend. You couldn’t do that.
“We better get to class.” you lifted your self off him, both of you immediately missing the other person’s body heat. “Mcgongall probably thinks you killed someone.” he gave you a small smile as you ran up to your room to grab your bag. He grabbed his from the couch where he had set it. He slung it over his shoulder and you came running down the stairs, skipping the last four. “Ready?” You asked, your normal smile on your face. He smirked.
“Talking to me for a few minutes put that smile on your face?” He teased as you made your way out of the portal.
“No, I found a few bars of chocolate under my bed.” You said happily, pulling two bars out of your pocket. He rolled his eyes as you opened one and handed it to him. He stared at it for a moment before taking it.
“You don’t want it?”
“I might’ve found four and ate two while coming down the stairs.” He laughed and took a bite of his. You unwrapped yours and started eating away at it. You two made your way into Mcgonagall’s class, Sirius banging the door open.
“Minnie! Did you miss me?” He shouted. You shook your head and laughed as Mcgonagall just stared daggers at him. The class erupted into laughter, but stifled it at one glare from the professor.
“Mr. Black. How kind of you to join us. Same goes for you as well, Miss. Lupin,” her gaze was less harsh on you, but you still blushed and put your head down. You two slid into your seats and began to take notes. Luckily it had been a review day. And Sirius was a master at transfigurations, so he would help you after class since it, ironically, wasn’t your best subject(And by that I mean you were still a crazy master, just not your best class).
You two spent the lesson showing the other students up as you easily changed everything and answered questions correctly. Lily was even struggling a bit at the rate you and Sirius were commenting. Of course, yours were more sincere than Sirius’ sarcastic answers (that were always correct in some sense) but you two still ruled the lesson.
You all left the lesson, you headed down to the dungeons for potions with Remus and James while Peter, Sirius and Lily went to divinations. It was a tense silence, you walking ahead of the boys with your head down and your books pressed against your chest. James joined you in front which you were grateful for, but you knew he was trying to get you to talk to Remus. You just needed a little while, and you told him as much. He just nodded and continued walking with you to potions. You sat towards the back of the class and left Remus and James to sit in your usual spots. Someone sat besides you and you were about to ask them to move when you noticed it was Jacob.
“Hey!” You smiled kindly at the slytherin sitting beside you.
“Hi. I forgot we shared this class. You don’t mind if I?” You shook your head.
“No, of course not.” He smiled.
“You're normally sitting next to Lupin and Potter, right?”
“Yeah. Remus is my twin and we kind of just got the same group of friends. Surprising, right?" You chuckled and he chuckled with you. Slughorn began to teach and the two of you went to work on the assignment together. It wasn't a hard potion today. At least for you it wasn’t. Potions was your best class, although Slughorn was a terrible teacher. Well, it actually wasn't your best subject. That was defense against the dark arts. Potions was a close second.
"Alright class, for your next assignment you will be working with the person at your table for. You will be brewing and writing on a potion I will randomly select for each of you," you looked over at Jacob with a smile.
"Looks like we're partners," you beamed. He smiled back excitedly.
"Looks like it, Lupin. I'll start cleaning up, why don't you go up and get our assignment?" He suggested. You nodded and headed to the front, meeting James on the way.
"You and Jacob?"
"Yeah. He's pretty good at it, so whatever potion we get should be a piece of cake." You smiled up at him. He only offered you a small one in return, making you falter in confusion.
What was that about?
He went back to his table with your brother and you walked up to Slughorn.
"Ah, miss. Lupin! I was surprised to see you not with your brother."
"We had a bit of a disagreement earlier. I'm Jacobs' partner. What potion would you like us to complete?" He looked at you for a moment before his face lit up with an idea.
"How about amortentia? Yes, that would suit you two nicely,” he declared. You rolled your eyes. That was the cheesiest potion he could have given you.
“Sounds great, professor! I’ll tell Jacob and we’ll get to work on it right away,” you turned and sulked back to your table. He noticed the look on your face.
“What did he give us?”
“Amortentia.” Jacob rolled his eyes.
“Honestly? How many times has he given that out to students, can’t he be the least bit more creative?” You chuckled and grabbed your bag from the back of your chair and clung it over your shoulder before gathering your notebook.
“I completely agree. So, how about we meet in the library tomorrow to start on the paper and divy up the work?”
“Sounds good to me!” He smiled as you two walked out of the classroom, chatting a bit more as you left. You were so caught up in your conversation with Jacob you missed a black haired boy waiting for the three of you. He was leaning up against the wall, as he normally did, with his hands in his pockets and his bag by his one foot. The sight of you walking out with Jacob made him freeze and just stop breathing all together.
James and Remus followed the two of you out a few seconds later, not paying any attention to what was going on with you as you laughed at something he had said. You were just standing in the middle of the hallway. What was that about?
“Sirius!” He snapped out of his trance when James’ voice cut through the air.
“Mmh?” He looked at Remus and James, who both had a worried look on their faces.
“You ok? You zoned out for about four minutes straight.”
“Yeah, I’m fine. What’s your sister doing hanging out with that Slytherin you told to piss off earlier?” Remus whipped around and stared at you as you laughed again, his eyes narrowing dangerously at the Slytherin boy. He was the reason you two were fighting in the first place. That was a lie and Remus knew it, but that didn’t mean he had to admit it.
”She’s partnered with him for the project,” James clarified, causing both Sirius and Remus to look at him.
“He sat beside her,” Remus practically growled, tossing another glance as you waved goodbye to him and he did the same.
“What did you expect when she didn’t want to sit by us? He obviously took a liking to her earlier in the hall.”
“Why didn’t she sit by you?” Sirius asked. “You two didn’t make up yet?” Remus grumbled something that no one could hear, but they didn’t really care. You started walking over, ignoring your brother’s presence all together.
“Hey, Sirius. Hey James. Ready to head to dinner?” It was quiet for a few seconds, Remus just staring at you.
“Yeah,” James finally broke the silence. “Lets-uh-let's get to dinner. Quickly.” He took you by your shoulder and started to rush you to the dining hall.
Nothing improved over the week. The full moon was coming closer, making both you and Remus even more on edge. The two of you had attempted to make up, but that just resulted in another, bigger, blow out. James and Peter had to hold Remus back as Sirius and Lily had to hold you back. Both of you were about to pumble each other. You finally threw a very nasty statement at him before storming up to your common room. In your defense he deserved it.
You started to distance yourself from all the Marauders, even Lily in some ways as you focused on your studies. You met Jacob in the library every day to work on your potion’s assignment, which seemed to get Sirius and Remus both in a twist, though one was better at hiding it than the other. That was when the third blow up happened. The day of the full moon.
“I can’t believe you are hanging around that Slytherin.” Remus spit out to you as you were all sitting in the common room before lunch. It was Saturday and none of you felt much like going outside since you would be out all night.
“Excuse me?” You asked with raised eyebrows, putting the book you were studying out of down.
“You heard me.”
“I did, and since when have you cared? Not like you've been in my life much,” you spat. He clenched his jaw and stared at you, all of your friends ready to jump in case you got into another fight.
“Since it's a blasted Sytherin.”
“That's not even a fair judgment. Have you ever even talked to him?”
“Why would I? A pretty boy pure blood who comes from a rich family?” he scoffed. “Sounds like a fun time.” You bristled.
“You just described Sirius!” You yelled. You turned to Sirius. “No offense, of course,” he held up his hands.
“You called me pretty, I’m happy.” You rolled your eyes at him, not helping the butterflies in your stomach when he said that.
“Yeah, but he isn’t a Slytherin!”
“You're condemning all Slytherins to being evil now?”
“Aren’t they?” you were both on your feet now, causing everyone else to join you.
“No you ignoramus! And if you could see two inches past your fucking nose, then you would know that!”
“Name one person other than your precious boyfriend!”
“Slughorn!”
“Bet you can;t do it again.” He challenged. You sneered.
“Snape!” He laughed.
“Really? Him? You decide that he is not evil? Have you seen him?”
“Have you looked in the mirror much? You aren’t the model yourself!” He sneered.
“How about you?”
“What about me?:”
“You look as bad as I do, dare I say worse! And your chocolate consumption has become twenty times it normally is! Now you are hanging around a Slytherin and constantly fighting with me!”
“Me-” you laughed harshly and dramatically. Making it sound almost hysterical and mad. “Your the one who picks the fucking fight everytime!”
“Becuase you make stupid descions!”
“Like hitting a beast in the back with a chair from the top of a two story house?”
“Y/N,” Lily warned from beside you.
“To only save your arse from becoming what I am!”
“Yeah, well, bang up job, Remus Lupin! A for effort I suppose!”
“And what is that supposed to mean?”
“Silencio!” Lily yelled, pointing her wand at you. You yelled a string of curses at her and your brother before storming out of the common area. She shot Remus a glare, something that didn’t happen often.
“You know, she’s going to Hogsmead with him next weekend. I suggest you get your act together before then and actually support something your sister is doing before you remove her from your life completely,” she hissed and chased after you. All the boys were frozen from, not only Lily’s scolding, but the fact that you were going to Hogsmead with him. Sirius felt ill and just stood in place, frozen.
“Great,” James mumbled. “They’re both broken now. At least we are ok, Peter,” He looked over to where Peter had been standing. Now the boy was passed out on the ground. James sighed and shook his head. “Never mind.”
Lily found you in your normal spot, silently crying to yourself. She removed the spell and your sobs were so loud she almost silenced you again. She sat down besides you, but you made no move to put your head on her shoulder like you normally did.
She knew you didn’t want to talk to her right now. She knew it was Sirius that you wanted to speak to, but you had just announced that you were going to Hogsmead with Jacob. Sirius was trying to get over that fact.
“We should probably go meet Sev,” she murmured in your ear. “The potion will make you feel better.” You just shook your head and tried to catch your breath.
“I-I’m fine. I just… I just need a minute.”
“You are going to hate me for saying this, but you need to make up with your brother and tell Sirius how you feel. You made it seem like you and Jacob were going on a date when you know that's not what's happening.” She scolded. You nodded your head, not being able to catch your breath from how hot you were, especially with all the clothes you had on.
“Can-can you help me get the jacket off? Please?” She nodded and started to pull at the sleeve, revealing an arm full of scars. You pulled the other sleeve off, prevailing a second arm full of scars. Your breathing slowed and you were finally able to catch your breath.
You quickly wiped the tears from your eyes.
“I didn’t let anything slip. They-they don;t know anything, right?”
“I almost let you. But that wasn’t the right way to do it.” You nodded gratefully, tracing some of the scars on your arm. You were more on edge today, but, for once, you don;t think chocolate would help. But that was only because of Remus’ comment earlier.
“We should probably get your potion from Sev. I have a feeling tonight's going to be one of your… worse… ones.” You nodded, feeling it too. This wasn;t just going to be an irritating night, this was going to be a full on transformation.
“I’ll have to tie myself down in the Room of Requirement tonight,” you nodded, agreeing.
“I don’t see why you tie yourself down. You take the potion.”
“What if it doesn’t work one night? You are going to have a second werewolf around and on the grounds. It's better if I just tie myself up and be prepared.” She sighed, knowing you wouldn’t see reason in this.
“Will you at least let me be in there with you?”
“Merlin, Lily! No! Are you mad?”
“Remus at least has-”
“And Remus is a normal werewolf. I am not. Something could go wrong at any moment and I am not letting anyone get remotely close to me. You know that!”
“I’m just saying-”
“No!” her eyes widened as you snapped at her. “It's not happening, so stop asking,” you stood up and walked out of the alcove in a huff, leaving her slightly stunned, your jacket sitting where you had once occupied. She thought about going after you and giving it back, but maybe this was what you needed. Someone else to know your secret.
You realized too late that you had forgotten your jacket and turned around to get it when you heard Sirius.
“Y/N! Wait a minute!” You froze before bolting in the direction towards the alcove you knew your jacket would be in. “Y/N!” He called after you again, his voice getting closer. You pushed yourself to run faster, only making you trip over your feet in the process and tumble to the ground with a cry. You were so close to your jacket. But Sirius caught up and froze when he saw your arms. His mouth opened and closed quickly.
You grabbed him and shoved him into an empty classroom, locking the door behind you and turning back to him. He was still staring at your arms and you sighed in frustration, letting a long string of profanities fall from your lips and you paced the room, pulling the skin from your lips, trying to figure out what to do.
You could obliviate him. Of course, that wasn’t the best course of action. You really didn’t want to obliviate your best friend. While you were thinking he came back to his senses.
“Y/N?”
“Mh?” You hummed, still thinking about what to do. He grabbed you and turned you towards him.
“Y/N.”
“Yeah?” His eyes scanned your arms.
“What happened?” You bit your lip and continued to pull it apart with your teeth. WHat could you tell him? “Y/N?”
“You're gonna kill me,” you mumbled and closed your eyes moving away from him and running your hand over your face.
“I-I won’t. Just-”
“I can’t, Sirius. I can’t tell you.” You looked back towards him with nothing but sorrow in your eyes. “I’m sorry. I just can’t tell you.” Then the pieces fit together. Your mood swings during the full moons, you always carrying chocolate and your ears always perking when you heard the wrapper. The way you “just knew” when someone was close by or something was headed your way.
“Please don’t tell me-”
“Please don’t worry about it,” you begged.
“I am staring at your scared arms. How am I not supposed to worry about it?” He raised his voice. It wasn’t a yell, but it still made you flinch. He noticed and lowered his voice again. “Y/N, I need you to tell me the truth here,” you looked down and he walked closer to you. Careful steps. Very careful steps. “That night Remus got turned into a werewolf, did he-” you nodded. Tears welling in your eyes. “But you can transform into an animagus.” You swallowed the lump in your throat.
“I’m not a full one. I get testy around the full moon, but don’t always turn. And I carry the chocolate for Remus, mostly.” He shook his head.
“Why didn’t you ever say anything?”
“Because Remus has it ten times worse than me. Please don’t tell him,” you begged.
“Don’t tell him? How am I supposed to not tell him?”
“By keeping your mouth shut?” You attempted the joke, but he just shook his head at you. “Please. I am begging you, Sirius. I really need to meet Sev and I need my jacket an-”
“Snape?” You looked away and bit your lip. “Why do you…”
“He’s the best one at potions in our year. He was the only one who can, well, you know.”
“That's why you protected him when Remus said that stuff about Slytherins.”
“He’s helped me out since second year. And with all the turmoil happening between me and everyone, tonights going to be bad. I really need to get the potion off him. Like now. Please, I will tell you everything later, just please let me go and please don’t tell Remus.” His leg bounced as he stared at you from the table he sat down at. He shrugged off his own jacket and threw it over your shoulders.
“Get your potion. I expect everything to be explained tomorrow and I will not tell your brother, yet.” You smiled and hugged him, throwing your arms around his neck.
“Thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you.” You mumbled into his neck as he hugged you back.
“Yeah yeah. Just be careful, ok?” he set you firmly on the ground again. “Promise me.” You nodded and slid your hands through the arm holes of his jacket. It was far too big for you, but you didn’t really care. First off because it was hiding your scars. Second off, you had Sirius Black’s jacket on, and that may or may not have made your heart beat out of your chest. And then if you add the way he was looking at you on top of that, you were dead.
“I promise. Thank you, Sirius. You are a life saviour.” You left the room and he stood staring at that door, cursing himself and needed to find Lily, pronto.
“Evans!” He yelled into the great hall where the red head was sitting. She looked over at him with an eye roll, but then noticed his serious expression. Which was, ironically, something he rarely had on his face. She stood up and scurried over to him and he pulled her out of the great hall. “You knew, didn;t you? About Y/N.” She shrugged, guilty.
“She made me swear to secrecy. Do you know where she went? She got mad at me and stomped off without her jacket. I’m assuming you-”
“Saw her hundreds of scars? Yes.”
“She showed you all of them” She creased her eyebrows and his eyes narrowed.
“All? Where is all?” Lily swallowed.
“Everywhere?” His eyes flickered down the hall, almost as if he were looking for you.
“Why does she have more than Remus?”
“Her body heals differently and she didn’t have the ointment he gets from the hospital wing, despite my persistent begging for her to get it.”
“Does her boyfriend know about this?”
“Her what?”
“Jacob. The Slytherin.”
“Sirius, they aren’t dating.”
“But he’s taking her to Hogsmead.”
“To help him pick out a gift for his little sister’s birthday. I said that in the heat of the moment. She was pissed at Remus. Please, don’t make her feel worse about keeping this a secret. And no, she just met him a week ago. She’s known Remus since she was born and you since everywhere in between.” Sirius looked down the hall again before back at Lily.
“Is there anything I can do?”
“Do not tell Remus until after the full moon tonight. They are both on edge and it's not going to be a pretty fight.��� Sirius nodded, recalling how badly he had wanted to yell at her for not telling them about this.
“Anything else?”
“Go easy on her. It had to of taken a lot of guts not to obliviate you on the spot.” Sirius nodded, knowing she had contemplated it for a split second.
“Yeah, ok. I can do that.”
“Thank you, Sirius. You're a good friend.” He scoffed.
“Tell that to Mooney when he’s beating the daylights out of me.” Lily put a hand on his shoulder before disappearing back into the Great Hall. “He’s gonna kill me for this,” Sirius mumbled before following her into the hall.
You had just finished tying the ropes onto your arms. They were charmed so no matter what tugged at them they would hold you in place until the full moon was over. You had tied them extra tight tonight for precaution. Lily walked in with her arms full of chocolate and some other food for before and after the full moon.
“Do you have to tie them so tight?”
“Yes,” You grunted as you pulled one more time to triple check if they were tight enough.
“Sirius pulled me aside today,” she hummed slightly and took a seat in front of you on the floor. You glanced at his jacket.
“Speaking of,” you said before she could say anything. “Can you return his jacket? I don’t want it to get ruined or anything and I didn’t see him before I came here.”
“You didn;t see him because you didn’t want to. You can’t avoid him or telling our friends about this.”
“Yeah, but I can put it off for as long as possible.” She shook her head at you.
“You are unbelievable.”
“Yep. Can you pass some chocolate over please.” She started to grab it but you changed your mind. “Actually, just hand me the grapes.” She paused and looked up at you.
“Is this about what Remus said?” You looked away from her. “Y/N/N. Is this about what Remus said?”
“Yeah, I guess.”
“He didn’t mean-”
“Yeah he did. My brother may be a lot of things, but a liar isn’t one of them. Especially during a full moon.”
“Well, I’m sure he didn’t mean it the way it came out.”
“I’m pretty sure he did.” She just shook her head and handed you the chocolate which you reluctantly (not really) took and began to devour.
“You should get out of here, Lily. It’ll be starting in a little.”
“You took the potion?” You nodded and gestured to an empty vile a few feet away from you. She picked it up and gathered Sirius’s coat. “Are you sure you’ll be ok?”
“Yeah, I’ll be fine. Thanks again, Lily. I’ll see you tomorrow.”
“Alright, I’ll see you tomorrow, Y/N.” And then she left, leaving you to munch on chocolate in the deafening silence. Counting the seconds until it would begin.
Lily stepped through the doors and back into the hallway, she looked at Sirius who was leaning against the wall with his hands in his pockets.
“I’m going to murder Remus later,” she grumbled and walked down the hall. Sirius jogged after her.
“Why?”
“Here’s your jacket. You know that comment he made about her eating a lot of chocolate?” Sirius took his jacket back and nodded. “She took it to heart and doesn’t want to eat it any more. Well, as much as she normally does. And it makes her feel as close to as hundred percent as she can get around this time.” Sirius frowned. “You know, she cares so much about Remus, and I really don’t think he gets that,” Lily shook her head.
“I think you may be right,” Sirius mumbled and looked back down the hallway the two of them had just come from.
You woke on the floor in the Room. The floor was ice cold and your clothes were in shreds and were hanging onto your body loosely. You were bleeding here and there and sat back, rubbing the back of your neck you groan. You could see the sun was rising from the window the room always provided you.
You glanced at the pile of chocolate and went to get it before you untied yourself but stopped. No. You didn’t need anything right now. You’d be fine.
You undid the rope on your arms and legs. You held your wrists carefully, they were bruised and splattered with dry blood from you tugging at them and flinched every time you ran your hand over an open cut.
Shaking yourself, you stood up and grabbed a fresh set of clothes and your “Journal”. After every full moon you would write down what you remembered, just to get it out of your head. You never talked about it, like your brother did. He really didn;t have to, but you knew that he always needed to get it out to. So instead of making his friends hear it since they were already there with him, he told you.
You quickly rinsed the blood off yourself to the best of your ability until you could take a shower, and tossed on a pair of oversized sweatpants and a tank top with a jacket. The room had provided you with a couch, which you gratefully took with a book, your journal, and some of the non-chocolate food Lily had brought with her yesterday. It would be a while until you would be mentaly fine enough to leave.
Remus was in the medical wing sleeping, three of the four boys asleep in the uncomfortable chairs that surrounded his bed, as usual. Madame Pomfrey had been up and had been ready to tend to Remus’ wounds as usual and had left him and the boys to sleep. James and Peter found it easy to slip into sleep for the rest of the morning, but Sirius found it harder than normal, and he knew it was because of you.
After his ninth attempt to fall asleep he rose and left the room, a silent nod to the healer sitting at her cabinet and writing something, before he left through the doors and quickly made his way to the Room of Requirement.
No one was up yet, he didn’t even know if you were. But he knew no one should have to go through that alone, which you obviously had been doing since second year. It just didn’t sit right with him. He stopped at the wall leading to the Room of Requirement and waited for doors to form. Which they did. He opened the door quietly and stepped in to see you on the couch you looked up, expecting Lily.
“Sirius?”
“Hey.”
“How’d you know where I was?”
“Lily.”
“Right. Well, shouldn’t you be asleep in the hospital wing then?”
“Couldn’t sleep,” He shrugged and sat on the couch you were occupying. “Studying?” You shrugged and moved some of your notes, still not emotionally or mentaly stable enough to deal with people. But because it was him, and your emotions were still in a knot of confusion, you let him stay.
Did your heart always beat this fast when he was this close?
“Did you get your jacket back?” You picked up a piece of chocolate. “Chocolate?” He grabbed the bar and opened it.
“Yeah, Lily gave it back to me yesterday. I was a little disappointed not to see you before the full moon.” You shrugged and ate a strawberry, eyeing Sirius’s chocolate with want, but resisted opening your own.
“I took the potion and rushed in here to get ready,” you motioned to the ropes on the ground; you hadn’t had the energy to clean it up yet.
“Ropes?” His gaze flickered between you, the ropes and your hands, which you were playing with nervously. “You… tie yourself down?” He looked almost horrified.
“Yeah,” you looked at the wall. “Precautions. I don’t take them lightly.” He didn’t know what to say to that. He knew Remus was cautions about this but tying yourself up like that while you went through the agony of transforming?
“Let me see your hands,” he reached out to you, but the motion only made you bring them into yourself. You got shit from Lily when she saw them, you didn’t need that twice. “Y/N, please.” You swallowed and handed them to him. His leg started to bounce at the new, red marks on your wrists.
“It-it's really fine.” you tried to pull them back, but he didn’t let you. He didn’t look up at you and you waited for him to start yelling. Lily always did.
“How bad does it hurt?” You were shocked by the amount of kindness in his voice. You swallowed.
“Uh-not terribly. I mean, my wrists are kind of used to getting torn up like this, so I mean…” You bit your lip and tried to peel the layers off. “I mean, I guess it kind of stings. ANd my back kind aches, but uh… its.. Uh.. fine.”
“Why don’t you go to the hospital wing?”
“Because you guys and Remus are there. If I showed up every full moon when you were all there, it would be a bit suspicious, don’t ya think?”
“Yes, but you’re injured.” You shrugged sadly.
“I've had worse than a few rope burns. I mean, you’ve seen my arms.”
“And Lily said that's not even close to the end of your scars,” you flinched slightly. Which was he talking about? Mentaly or physically?
You knew this wasn;t the moment to be exactly thinking it, but damn when he wanted to he could literally be so gentle and it made you want to burst.
“Yeah. Before the potion and figuring out the rope charm it was pretty bumpy. I mean, it's still not exactly smooth sailing, but- I’m rambling now,” you shook your head and pulled your hands away from him, tucking your hands into your sleeves.
“Have you eaten any chocolate yet?” He asked, rising and making his way to the pile on the floor.
“I haven’t really felt like it,” you shrugged, not even attempting to make the lie seem real. He rolled his eyes and started rifling through the bars.
“Liar.” He grabbed one and tossed it to you. “Here. Eat this, you’ll feel better.”
“I’m fine, Sirius. Really.” You poked at the bar a few times, contemplating taking it. “You look exhausted though. You were out with my brother all night, you should get some sleep.”
“So should you.” You rolled your eyes and looked back down at the potions book in your hands.
“I have to study for this potions assignment with Jacob. I’ve been too distracted with this past full moon.”
“Yes I can see how turning into a werewolf would be distracting,” he scoffed and took the book from your hands.
“Sirius,” you whined.
“What potion did you even get?” His face fell a bit when he noticed the love potion on the page. The majority of the students who did this potion together ended up together.
“It's easy, but a lot of information,” you sighed and grabbed the book back. “I mean, not easy easy. But its,” you shook your head. “Never mind. Forget it,” you sighed and ran your hands over your face.
“Who do you think you're gonna smell?” He asked, leaning back casually, even though he hated himself for asking.
“Probably no none. And the person I hope I smell, well I doubt they'd even consider me,” you rolled your eyes. “I’ll probably smell chocolate and lavender. Or something like that.” But in your head you weren;t thinking about chocolate and lavender. Ok, that was a lie. You were thinking about chocolate, it was right in front of you and your sensitive sense of smell was amplifying it. But you were really expecting to smell was the boy sitting next to you. And you knew you wouldn’t mix his scent with anyone else's.
“Heh. They’d be crazy not to, love.” You blushed but buried your head into your book further. He looked over at you and bounced his leg a few more times.
“You should probably get back to Rem. I’ll probably follow you a bit later to check in on him and give him some chocolate.” He frowned.
“Shouldn;t you be eating all this?”
“I only normally eat a few pieces and give the rest to him. He has it worse than me.” You shrugged. “He deserves it more.”
“And aren’t you supposed to be mad at him?” You shrugged again.
“How my full moons go are based on my emotions. It's better to make up with him. Make everything go back to normal, like it normally does when we get into an argument.”
“Ok, but it wasn;t fair the way he treated you. I know he was on edge, but-”
“Sirius, it's fine. Really. We were both just on edge. And it was fair. I mean, not the Slytherin comments, but the rest of it was.”
“Will you at least eat something before you go? Or get some sleep?”
“I slept plenty after my transformation and I ate lots.”
“Chocolate,” He said exasperatedly. “Eat some chocolate.” You took the bar of chocolate he had given you and took a bite out of it.
“Never thought someone would have to make me eat chocolate.”
“Never thought I’d have to make you,” you frowned, thinking back to your twin's comment.
“What do you mean?”
“I mean, you would just eat it without even thinking. Ever since Remus made that comment-”
“Rightfully said,” you hummed cutting him off. He sighed and took your book again, kneeling in front of you.
“Why do you care so much about what he says? Especially when he’s not himself?”
“Because I need to make him feel happier. He’s like this because of me. Because of my mistake to want to see the stars he’s in pain.”
“And so are you. Why do you keep torturing yourself?”
“I’m not. I just… I don’t know. God I’m such a mess afterwards,” you groaned, tears pricking your eyes.
“Yeah, well, that's expected,” he smirked and it made you give hima laugh-sob in reply. “Here,” he urged, handing you the half finished chocolate bar. You took a desperate few bites out of it and let the tears fall. He wiped them away quickly and let his hand fall on your knee. “Better?” you nodded and wiped your face to rid it of any chocolate.
“Yeah, sor-”
“Don’t apologize. You should sleep. You look absolutely horrid,” you laughed pitifully and nodded, finally admitting to your exhaustion.
“Yeah, ok. You might be right.”
“Might be? I’m always right.” You laughed again and went to stand up.
“Yeah yeah. Alright. You're always right. I’ll sleep after I make sure Remus is alright.” You promised.
He wanted to argue but knew he wouldn’t win.
“Alright. Come on. Then I’m taking you straight to the dorm room.”
“I have to clean up first. Go ahead, I’ll follow.” He shook his head.
“I’ll come back later and do it.”
“Sirius-”
“No arguing. Come on,” he dragged you out of the room. You visited your brother who was still asleep. James and Peter were up and waiting for Remus to wake up. Once you saw him Sirius dragged you out and to your dorm room forcing you to go to sleep or he would make you eat chocolate until you turned into it. You gladly fell into a dreamless sleep, unknowing of him wrapping your wrists since you were such a heavy sleeper.
You woke up on Monday when Lily shook you awake for class. You could tell she felt bad about it, but you assured her it was fine. You noticed your hands were wrapped and wondered who had done it. That's when you noticed your stomach growling. Quickly you got dressed and shoved chocolate into your bag for Remus and ran down to the Great Hall where everyone already was. You took your usual seat in between Remus and Sirius.
“Hey!” You said cheerfully and grabbed some food and put it on your plate. “Rem, could you pass me the chocolate chip muffins please?” He did so as if nothing was wrong and even bumped your shoulder with his. Sirius just watched, not understanding how your three huge fights could so easily turn back to this. All your classes went as usual, even lunch went well.
Then it was time for potions. You walked in with James and Remus but had to make your way to Jacob instead of sitting with them. You had decided it would be fair to split the research and then have him write the essay while you made the potion.
“Hey Jacob!” You smiled brightly at the Slytherin.
“Hello, Y/N. You have your half of the research?” You nodded and handed him your papers. Excellent. Should we get started then?”
“Sounds good to me! Who do you think you’ll smell?” He glanced over at a hufflepuff with bright red hair across the room.
“I hope I know who.” You smiled. “You?” You blushed.
“I wish. I mean, I have an idea, but they’ll never like me back, especially now.” He shook his head.
“You're super cool, Y/N/N. They’d be insane not to.”
“Thanks, Jacob. Let's get to it then?”
“Lets!” For the rest of class the two of you worked, quietly chatting occasionally as you finished the project together. You heard an explosion and glanced up and Remus and James who were just staring at their cauldron. James obviously being the one who added the wrong ingredient. You snorted and went back to your own potion mixing it together carefully, the brew being the perfect shade of pink. He sat up in his seat and looked at you wide eyed. “It's finished?”
You smiled. “You smell it already? It still has a few hours of brewing.” He nodded. He looked over to the hufflepuff boy.
“Yeah. I can smell it. You?” You swallowed and took a whiff.
Gasoline, smoke, cinnamon apples and chocolate. God that was it. That was him.
“Yeah,” you sighed. “Yeah I smell it.” Slughorn came over and looked into the cauldron.
“My my, looks like you two are finished already! Is your essay finished as well?” You looked over at Jacob who wrote a few more things down and handed it to Slughorn who skimmed it, seeming to be happy with it. “Splendid splendid. Well done you two. You can be finished for today. As a matter of fact, everyone is dismissed if you feel like you are finished. We will be continuing this tomorrow and then they will be due the next day.” The class erupted into chatter and the Hufflepuff boy came over, Jacob held his breath as he stopped in front of him smelling the air. He looked over at him, lust blown eyes.
He bit his lip and sauntered out of the room with a swing to his hips, glancing back at him before leaving the door. You chuckled as he just stared, gawking.
“Go get him, Lover boy!” He grinned at you and ran out of the room after the Hufflepuff. You cleaned up as the room emptied. You told Remus and James to go on without you to lunch. You would be there for a few minutes.
You continued to clean up the station, not bothering to stop smelling your potion, the scent put you at ease. It always did. And you really needed to be at ease right then.
You walked back over to your workbench to see Sirius entering the room.
“Hey, Sirius!” You smiled and he smiled back before stopping, smelling the air. He looked at the potion, swallowed and then back at you. You frowned and went back to cleaning up, making sure not to look at him. But you couldn’t help but wonder who he was smelling. It was clearly not you.
He began to help you clean up and the air was suddenly tense between you. And you just couldn’t take it anymore.
“So, who do you smell?” You asked, jumping onto the work table and cocking your head at him. He shrugged. “Come on, I want to know. As your best friend, I have a right to know.” He hummed in response and inclined his head.
“Just like how I had a right to know your secret?” You looked away.
“I said I was sorry. I just, I was scared if it got out that Remus would find out. I just didn’t want Remus to know that he got turned and I got turned. I would have much rather it been me and only me rather than the both of us.”
“I would've rather it be neither of you,” you smiled up at him.
“Yeah, same. So who do you smell?”
“Why don;t you tell me?” he countered and you chewed your lip. “Come on, just tell me,” he got closer to you, smiling as he glanced up at him. You have no idea where the rush of courage came from. But it came.
“You,” you shrugged, he went wide eyed and stepped back, coughing.
“M-me?” You shrugged, playing it off.
“You,” he smirked at you, composing himself again.
“And what exactly do I smell like?” He asked, placing a hand on either side of your body. You thought about it for a moment, but you knew. Even without him right in front of you and the potion right beside you, you knew.
“Gasoline and smoke from that motorcycle you always work on, Cinnamon and apples because though you’d never admit it they are your favorite, and chocolate because you're always around me or Rem.” he stared at you. You narrowed your eyes at him. “Who do you smell?” It took him a moment to find his voice, and each second he took you waited in agony. What if you just confessed to your best friend and he didn’t like you back. But he smiled after a moment.
“You,” he replied simply, making your eyes go wide. You had been hoping, but it was actually the last thing you had expected to hear.
“An-and what exactly do I smell like?”
“Lavender, from that motorizer you always wear before you go to sleep, chocolate because you practically survive on the stuff- which is adorable-, and ink because you are constantly spilling it all over the place,” as he spoke his voice had gotten lower and lower, and with his voice his gaze also dropped. It dropped all the way down to your lips which you were playing with.
“Wo-wow,” you stuttered out, not knowing how to react. WHat do you do? You were panicking. And before you could say anything or do anything, his lips were on yours and he was standing in between your legs. His mouth was warm on yours and you wrapped your arms around his neck bringing him closer as he brought his hands to your hips to bring you closer. But then a familiar thought rang through your head.
You don’t deserve this…
“Sirius, wait,” you pulled away and he leaned away from you, his hands still on your hips, he looked at you curiously.
“What's wrong?”
“I-I don’t deserve this. I-I can’t put you through this.” He scrunched his eyebrows together.
“What do you mean?” You buried your head in your hands and shook your head. Headache was approaching and you needed your chocolate. After the full moon was never as bad as before, but that didn’t mean you didn’t have your share of problems.
Sirius seemed to sense your need for chocolate because he dove into your bag and pulled out a piece, unwrapping it for you. He handed it to you and you took it gratefully.
“Can you explain what you meant?”
“You deserve better than me. I mean. You're you. And who am I? I’m a weirdo screw up who got her brother bitten by a werewolf.”
“No,” he pulled your face back up to his and looked at you. “You are perfect. I have had a crush on you since second year. And I’ll be damned if I let your insecurities get in the way of me taking care of you.”
“But-”
He shoved the chocolate back into your mouth, shaking his head.
“Do you like me?” you nodded as you chewed the chocolate. He smiled and pecked your lips, your mouth still full of chocolate. “That's all that matters to me. I think we have a few things to tell your brother now though,” you frowned and nodded sadly. You didn’t want to, you really didn’t. He kissed you again and you brought him in closer. You still felt guilty, and you knew you always would. You couldn’t change that. But you could try for him. You could be the best for him. Because the boy standing in front of you, wiping excess chocolate from his own mouth, he was everything you had ever wanted.
And you would be everything he ever wanted in return.
200 notes · View notes
channiebbang · 3 years
Text
just listen, trust me.
synopsis: a misunderstanding drives jaemin away from the only person that he should've trusted. when reality slaps him in the face he feels miserable and tries to win his love back. or something of the sort lol
characters: Jaemin, Main Character, Jeno, and a bit of Haechan, Renjun, Chenle, Mark and Jisung.
pairing: boyfriend!jaemin x f.maincharacter
genre: angst angst angst and fluff
word count: 7k (fucking hell it's THAT long?) sorry lmao
warnings: none
author’s note: this took way too long to finish jfvamejgf but i really couldn't come up with a good enough ending. or more like i couldn't write down what i wanted to write lol but i finally finished it heheh i hope you like it and it satisfies the wait i made you go through lol 💛💛
the many things people told him echoed in his head. the dimmed lights of his studio room and the slow, low beat of the music not doing much to brighten up his mood.
she's being too friendly with that one friend of yours, don't you think?
he's warming up too much to her.
watch out, you wouldn't want someone to whisk her away from you, she is a bit naive, she could be affected too easily.
and it would all have fallen to deaf ears, because he was never one to let anyone talk about his personal life, only if one of his closest friends hadn't said something.
"jaem," jeno's voice made jaemin turn to his friend. jeno looked around to their other friends before figuring out they wouldn't let what he was going to say out of the circle.
"yeah," jaemin smiled at jeno, remnants of his laugher from what renjun was saying. jeno cleared his throat still unsure how to approach the topic.
as soon as the news reached his ears he had searched for his friend. he was unsure of the news but he figured jaemin could always ask y/n and they would solve things if it were to be lies. what jeno didn't know at the time was all the other stuff jaemin had heard.
"listen," jeno started, tongue darting out to wet his dry lips, "i.. people are saying some stuff and i-," he cleared his throat again, in nervousness, "i thought i should let you know. i don't think they are true at all! but... one can never be too sure, right?" he asked, voice unsure as his eyes darted to meet jaemin's. the latter's brows furrowed in confusion, wondering what the hell jeno was talking about and he was just about to ask when he continued.
"in case it's wrong then you guys can always just clear it out but i heard this from someone close and thought i would let you know either ways," jeno's hand scratched his neck in nervousness.
"just fucking say it, oh my god," chenle huffed, impatient with the suspense the older was building up.
"i swear to god, if you say something like a joke," haechan warned, mark snorting.
"i'm serious, just," jeno groaned, wondering why he had to be the one to break the news.
"just tell me, jeno," jaemin smiled and jeno felt the already heavy load on his shoulder get 20 kgs heavier. he took a deep breath. all in one go, he thought, just like a band aid.
"y/n is cheating on you."
and jaemin's world fell apart.
everyone could have been wrong but jeno? could jeno be wrong too?
silence. total silence followed as jaemin's smile fell and his eyes stared ahead to jeno but not really.
he thought about y/n, thought if he could picture her doing anything like than and the answer came right away, even before he finished his thought. no. just no. she could never. but they always said it's the people you least expect it from. but y/n? she could never... right?
"what the fuck are you talking about?" it was mark who had spoken, the defensive tone evident in voice as he did nothing to mask it and jeno looked away from jaemin's eyes to the eldest.
"y/n could never, she's not like that," renjun chuckled drily, in disbelief.
"jeno, are you sure about this?" haechan raised a hand in front of him to assess the grave situation.
"that's what i said. i heard this from someone who's reliable, i can't say who, though."
jaemin cleared his throat catching everyone's attention. he gulped the lump in his throat before he looked around the group.
"i'll handle this, don't worry."
that was all he said but even if he sounded calm and collected, his eyes said a different story, and his clenched jaw showed a different side of the coin. and as much as they wanted to believe he would handle it with care with y/n, they saw the storm coming even before he did. because jaemin's eyes were on fire, he was aflame. and that uncertainty he had before had just been consumed with jeno's confirmation. jaemin's tipping point was reached. as he turned to walk away a hand grasped his arm.
"jaemin," it was jisung, jaemin waited for him to go on.
"she would never do that." was all he said.
the ding of his phone's notification brought him back from the memory. he reached out to his phone deciding this could no longer be avoided. he was determined enough. with these thoughts running in his head he dialed y/n's number and pressed the phone to his ear.
"hello? jaem?" she answered, and he sighed because how could she sound so angelic, and how was he supposed to confront her when he felt his heart tighten just by her voice. he sucked up the weakness he felt for her when she called out his name again.
"hey, where are you?" he asked softly, but no matter how much he tried to conceal it, the coldness in his voice seeped through.
"i'm at the cafe near my apartment with kyunhae," she giggled and at the mention of the name jaemin saw red. what the fuck was she doing with him?
"when will you be done? i need to talk to you," he deadpanned, voice colder than y/n had ever heard and she felt at alert right away. why was he talking like that?
"jaem?" wonder laced her voice as she silently asked what was up but jaemin said nothing.
"it's urgent," he specified and y/n had asked him to pick her up right away, sensing something was wrong. and jaemin was left confused to stare at his phone again.
how long are you gonna pretend you care about me? why are you doing me this dirty? why are you faking caring about me?
with those thoughts he had gotten up, whisked his jacket from behind his bedroom door and out of the house he was.
as he drove through the streets he tried to think again, he tried to figure out again if she could really have cheated on him. he was desperate for it to be a lie but then again, jeno had confirmed it, hadn't he?
could the girl that held him so tightly when they slept, cheat on him? could the girl he grew to love so much do this to him? how could she even think about it when she cried during children's movies, had ice cream cravings out of nowhere, cried in his arms, clinging to him when he had almost fainted from low blood pressure, helped him stand back on his feet whenever he was sick, babying him through the whole process. how could she cheat on him when she kissed him so softly, as if he was the most precious thing she had, when she held him so close as he murmured sweet nothings in her ears, when she looked at him with so much love when he smiled, when right as he laughed he would look over at her and she would be staring at him. her excuse? she loved seeing him happy. how could the same person that confessed her love for him in between shallow breaths, gasps and whines as he made her feel good be the same person to cheat. how could she make him feel so loved and so important if it was all fake.
it took him a total of twenty minutes to reach the cafe. he parked the car outside as he texted y/n he was out front. he waited for her leaned against the side of his car.
the door to the entrance to the cafe opened and y/n walked out first, face turned behind her as she laughed with kyunhae. jaemin's hands balled into fists as he watched the interaction, the anger swam in his veins as he watched y/n collide her fist against his in a fist bump before calling out a text me later.
y/n turned out front to jaemin and the way her eyes seemed to genuinely spark up in bright stars as soon she saw him had his heart clenching in pain. how long have you been mastering this act? how can you look this genuine?
"hi, handsome," she gushed as she pressed her chest to his, arms wrapping around his neck as she pressed a soft kiss to his jaw. jaemin gulped, eyes trained to her relaxed expression, eyes closed and a soft smile on her lips as she hugged him standing on her tippy toes. his arms shoot out out of habit as they went to wrap around her waist before his hands hovered over her frame. he couldn't do it. he couldn't pretend everything was okay.
as y/n didn't feel jaemin hug her back she pulled away slowly, her eyes looking up at him as her arms slowly fell away from him.
"jaem?" she softly called him and his eyes met hers, cold as ever. her hand raised to rest on his cheek in affection but before she could touch his skin, his fingers wrapped around her wrist and stopped her in her tracks. y/n's brows furrowed in confusion.
"let's go," he simply said as he stepped away and opened the passenger seat door for her, y/n looked at him for a few seconds more as he looked to the side and waited for her to get in, so she did.
the silence was eating y/n alive as she fidgeted with her fingers, suspecting something was wrong. she raked her brain, wondering if she did or said anything wrong but it all came empty.
"jaem?" she tentatively called for him. jaemin waited for a few seconds before he hummed in acknowledgement, but even that small sound seemed cold, colder than he had ever been.
"is something wrong?" she softly asked, hand reaching out to grasp his and intertwining their fingers before resting it on her lap. but as soon as the back of his hand rested against her jeans clad thigh he shook off her hand to grasp the wheel again.
she sat frozen, eyes trained where their hands were, her hand still in her lap the same way he had shook it off. what did i do so bad? she wondered.
"i'm driving," came his excuse but she knew something else was up. he had never rejected her touch like this.
"if something is wrong please tell me, i'll help you," she shook off the hurt before turning to him and sending a small smile, eyes pleading, but jaemin stared ahead, silent.
a few minutes later jaemin parked the car in his apartment building garage before swiftly getting out and waiting for y/n. it took her a few seconds before she was out too. they made their way to the elevators. the elevator came, they got in, and it went up to jaemin and his friend's apartment floor. all in silence.
jaemin walked in first, leaving the door open for y/n. as she closed the door behind her she made eye contact with jisung. the boy smiled warmly at the girl and stepped towards her.
"oh! didn't know you were coming over, want some?" he raised the hot pot of ramen, seemingly on the way to his room, and y/n smiled shaking her head as she took her shoes off.
"i ate, but thank you," she smiled warmly and jisung threw her a thumbs up before walking to his room and closing the door.
y/n walked into the apartment looking around for which way jaemin went before her eyes fell on his seated figure in the living room. everyone seemed to be in their own rooms apart from mark, who stood in the kitchen.
"hey," he waved, a warm smile on his lips before his eyes shifted jaemin and his smile dimmed a bit, y/n waved back.
she shuffled towards jaemin, still confused as to what happened.
"jaemin?" she called for him, his head snapped her way before he slowly stood up.
"do you have anything to tell me?" he asked and y/n thought hard and careful if she had forgotten anything but came up with nothing so she timidly shook her head, hands picking at the border of her tshirt. the one that belonged to jaemin.
"did i forget anything?" she murmured, head low as she felt guilty for forgetting something that affected him so much.
"you have nothing to tell me?" he repeated, a scoff following and y/n looked back up at him, her brows furrowed.
"okay, let me ask you this," he said, hands resting on his hips as he looked up at the ceiling. mark watched, debating whether he should leave or not, but then choosing against it, someone had to try and do damage control.
"what is kyunhae to you?" at the new question y/n's brows furrowed even more.
"jaem what are you reaching at?" she asked, confusion eating her alive. jaemin's eyes sent daggers her way and she realized that she never wanted to have that gaze on her ever again.
"answer my question; what. is. kyunhae. to. you?" he asked again, emphasizing his words. the agitation clear in his voice as he ran a hand through his hair. mark stepped into the living room area.
"jaemin, chill," he tried to calm the younger and prevent him from saying anything he would regret later. this wasn't how he thought jaemin would handle things.
"why can't she just answer?!" jaemin exclaimed. the more she delayed her answer the more anger rose in him. her lips quivered seeing a jaemin she had never seen. he had never talked to her like that, with so much hartred.
"he's just a friend! that's all! why are you asking me that!" she answered, her voice a notch higher as she felt attacked. the way he talked to her made her feel defensive. she had never felt attacked by him and she was scared, she didn't know what happened, why he was acting like that. but no matter how naive she was she wasn't stupid.
she heard what people said about her, she knew things reached jaemin's ears in the past and she had done everything in her power to show him he was the only person she loved, only person she cared about. that he was her everything, her all. she had gifted him with a matching promise ring, to reassure him that she was his, always will be. she had told him not to listen to anyone, only her. she loved him, she really did. that's why she always told him when she would be out with kyunhae, she wanted him to know that whenever he needed it she will drop him and come running to jaemin. because jaemin was her priority. she had told him about meeting him today too but jaemin had forgotten it seems.
"then why the fuck do i hear different things?" he all but screamed and y/n stood frozen on her spot, scared. he had never raised his voice at her, much less in the process of accusing her of anything.
"i swear jaem," her voice came out in a trembled whisper as jaemin breathed heavily, "none of it is true, i swear," she pleaded, her eyes stinging in desperation. she needed him to believe her.
"you're lying," he shook his head, an empty chuckle leaving his lips as he threw his head back in disbelief and anger, "you've been lying for who knows how long," he muttered and y/n's brows furrowed, offended.
"i have never lied to you," she breathed out, before she remembered mark standing nearby. she took two quick steps towards him, taking a hold of his hand softly, "jaem, let's talk about it in your room, okay? let's solve this," she pleaded as she softly pulled his hand but jaemin snatched his arm away from her.
"no," he shook his head, "we're gonna do it here, so you can't lie to me anymore," his voice rose as he pointed around him and y/n's eyes blurred in frustration and hurt. how could he be like this.
"jaem what has gotten into you?" she asked, voice a tremble as the first tears threatened to spill, "please, i don't want to lose you, let's calm down and talk about this," she pleaded again.
"if you didn't want to lose me you should've thought about it before you cheated on me!"
y/n felt her heart break at his words, she felt like he had pushed her off of a building, she felt like the ground was snatched from under her feet and she was left falling into the void. the emotion swam in her expression.
"what's going on?"
mark's head snapped towards renjun and haechan's figures as they stepped out of their rooms and into the living room, eyes widened in alarm shifting from y/n to jaemin and then to mark.
mark shook his head. the three looked at y/n, her emotions set on her face and they knew right away they had the whole situation wrong. jaemin had it wrong.
she didn't look alarmed, caught in the act or guilty, she looked down right betrayed, hurt, and deceived.
"i did nothing of the sort, jaemin," her voice came out offended, disbelief swimming in her tone.
"jaem," haechan walked in front of his friend, partially blocking y/n's view, "that's enough, calm down," he muttered lowly, only jaemin hearing him. jaemin shook his head as he pushed haechan away softly.
"no, i need to know why," he insisted, "why would you do that to me? why not just tell me?" he asked again.
"i didn't do anything! i understand you heard it somewhere but hell, jaemin, at least ask me before you assume the worst!" she exclaimed her arms raising and dropping by her sides.
"and you're still fucking lying to me!" he raised his voice again in exasperation.
"i have no reason to lie to you! why are you saying all this to me? how could i ever do that to you, jaem?" her voice grew quiet at the end, just the thought of his implications finally sending the tears tumbling down her cheeks. jaemin scoffed.
"exactly, how could you do that to me?! all i ever did was treat you with care, i always put you first!" he countered again, the vein in his neck popping.
"jaem, you're not listening to me, please, just listen to me," she pleaded a sob escaping her lips as she stepped closer t him, her hands grasping his cheeks in desperation for him to look at her eyes, to believe her, "i love you, i would never ever do anything like that, please trust me, let them all be, just trust me."
but jaemin took a hold of her hands and let them fall in between them.
"what if it's someone close to me that told me," he scoffed stepping away.
"jaemin don't," renjun interfered, standing in front of y/n, blocking her completely from jaemin's eyes.
"just go home y/n," jaemin shook his head as his fingers ran trough his hair and he turned away.
"yah, you're exaggerating," mark called him out and jaemin threw him a glance.
"then why bring me here? why do this in front of everyone when you could've done that when you met me, why this whole thing?" she asked quietly. she didn't know what she felt, she didn't know who this person in front of her even was.
she understood jaemin, she really did. hearing so many things from so many people must've played with his head, she understood it. but fucking hell she wished he had talked to her about it, about all of it. she wished he didn't lash out on her, she wished he had just remembered who she was and how much she loved him. she was a person too, wasn't she? she could get hurt too, right?
when jaemin didn't answer she hurriedly turned around, making her way to the door. she fleetingly saw the youngest two silently standing in front of their door at the commotion but she paid no mind to that. all she wanted was to go away. y/n felt so lost, so betrayed; why didn't he believe her? why didn't he just ask her?
"y/n wait-" haechan tried to call back the girl but she was already out of the door, quickly walking to the elevator and pressing repeatedly on the button.
"fucking hell jaem, is this how you planned to handle it? really?" renjun scolded the black haired guy. jaemin sat on the couch, head in his hands and eyes brimming with tears. suspiciously all their phones dinged one after the other. chenle and jisung looking at each other in confusion as they were the only ones to notice.
mark ran out of the apartment slowly coming to a stop in beside of y/n. she kept her head down, tears dripping on the floor from the tip of her nose as she sniffled.
"y/n," mark took a hold of her elbow, "wait for a second, you can't leave alone. it's late, I'll take you home, hmm?" he tried to persuade her softly, careful not to be too loud. but she shook her head.
"thank you, but i need to be alone," she whispered, her shoulder shaking as she took in a harsh breath. mark's eyes softened.
"let me call you an uber, at least?" he offered again, hand caressing her hair in affection but she shook her head again.
"I'll be okay," she muttered as the doors to the elevator dinged and opened. y/n took a step forward before coming to a stop when another pair of shoes came into her view, she stepped aside muttering a sorry.
"oh, y/n..?" jeno's voice was surprised, his phone held on his hand and his eyes wide. he looked at mark, who held the most disappointed look on his face, brows furrowed. jeno looked back at y/n in confusion.
she looked up at his voice and the sight of her wet cheeks, red nose and swollen eyes sent an alarm to jeno. his eyes widened as he stammered.
"fuck, y/n, I'm so sorry- i didn't know-" jeno was at a loss of words as realization dawned on y/n and she smiled bitterly.
"it's okay," she simply said as she walked into the elevator and waited for the doors to close.
-
jaemin looked up as mark and jeno walked into the apartment, just at the same time as jisung and chenle stumbled out of their rooms, phone grasping in their hands.
"hyung, you gotta see this," chenle shoved his phone into jaemin's face. the latter took in a deep breath, taking the phone from the younger.
"jaem," jeno muttered, eyes remorseful, "i'm so sorry," he solemnly muttered out, and jaemin furrowed his brows in confusion before looking at the screen of chenle's phone.
under the instagram picture, written in bold letters, the words "SHE SAID YES" and the small line underneath "thank you y/n for helping me make it even more memorable" were mocking him. and as jaemin ran his fingers through his hair for the nth time that evening and gripped his roots in a vice like grip, his eyes scanned the picture. the picture of kyunhee and who he assumed was his fiancé now. jaemin felt like the biggest idiot in the planet.
-
so as y/n helped kyunhee with the preparations of his engagement party with the biggest smile she could muster up, the happiness she painted on didn't quite reach her eyes. jaemin had tried again and again to contact her but y/n made it a point to ignore all his texts and all his calls, only using her phone when extremely needed.
she helped her dear friend through the whole process, never missing a beat to tell him and the lucky girl how proud she was of them both.
kyunhee felt guilty taking her help, so much so that y/n had screamed at him to not give her the pity look. she had explained that she needed the distraction and after much thought he let her handle whatever she wanted.
he told himself if he ever came face to face with jaemin he would've made him taste his fist, but he knew they would resolve their misunderstanding. of course they would, they loved each other infinitly after all.
y/n was surprised when two days after the break up her mother came knocking on her door. at first she had thought jaemin had called her and as soon as she was about to send her mother away, the older woman had told, "i knew something wasn't right, i could feel it." and so y/n had her dearest mother at her apartment, making sure she got the energy she needed and she ate well.
jaemin on the other hand was lost. completely lost. he beat himself up for how he had talked to y/n, he scolded himself for not having talked it out. he regretted not listening to her when she was asking for him to listen.
he tried calling her a thousand times. he tried texting her from the boys' phones and every time he would let a dry laugh out when she would reply "tell jaem i don't want to speak." he knew his girl knew him too well and he felt worse every time because how did he let go of her? what an idiot.
so it was with a heavy heart and jaw clenched in embarrassment that jaemin was standing in front of a building, waiting for the one he misunderstood. truth be told, he was nervous, for what he still didn't know but he had a hunch.
"jaemin," a voice pulled him out of his thoughts and jaemin turned to his right to come face to face with a poker face kyunhee. he cleared his voice, holding out his hand for a handshake.
"hey, i hope i didn't mess up your schedule, i can only imagine how busy you are," jaemin smiled a tight lipped smile. kyunhee stared at him for a second before deciding to be cooperative for y/n's sake. he grasped jaemin's hand and gave it a firm shake before letting go.
"you technically did," he sighed, jaemin's brows furrowed, a confused sound leaving his lips, "mess up my schedule. i had an appointment i had to cancel," kyunhee said, arms crossing over his chest. jaemin blinked for a few seconds before muttering a soft sorry in embarrassment. silence fell upon the two guys. kyunhee's eyes stayed put on jaemin's wavering ones. he could practically see the wheels turning in the black haired guy.
"what the hell are you guys doing?" kyunhee sighed then. jaemin's eyes snapped on him, eyes wide in alarm.
"i-i'm very sorry for misunderstanding your intentions. i really am," jaemin blabbed, kyunhee rolled his eyes.
"why are you apologizing to me when the person you should apologize to is somewhere else?" kyunhee asked as a matter of fact.
"she doesn't want to talk to me," jaemin whispered, eyes looking away and jaw clenching. kyunhee scoffed catching jaemin's attention again.
"yeah no shit she doesn't," the newly engaged one spat out and jaemin let out a humorless snicker, head nodding.
"you acted like a total dick to her, i don't even know how she hasn't blocked you yet," kyunhee shot again and jaemin listened, for he knew he deserved it. the former's eyes softened for a second at jaemin's obvious miserable eyes, before hardening again.
"oi, dickhead," he called jaemin, foot kicking at his shin, jaemin ducked to hold his shin out of instinct, eyes snapping up in despair.
"oi! what was that for?" he called.
"i won't tell you to go to her place and beg for forgiveness, because quite frankly, that's not going to work," kyunhee deadpanned and jaemin nodded, hanging to his every word.
"give her time, jaemin, she's hurt," he continued.
jaemin stared at the floor at his feet as he thought. guilt enveloping him in its arms as usual these days. he took a deep breath again and looked up at his girlfriend's friend, he offered a small smile.
"thank you, really," jaemin muttered, genuine gratefulness in his voice, "for holding her up, i know it should've been me but i'm glad she has a friend like you, i'm really sorry again."
"it's okay, don't worry about it. just think about what kind of pose you need to hold when you're begging on your knees for her forgiveness," kyunhee bit back in a lighter tone, feeling weird about all the formality. jaemin snorted the real smile in a while, grateful kyunhee got rid of the heavy serious air around them.
"congratulations on your engagement, by the way," jaemin clapped the side of kyunhee's arm and the latter thanked him, before a thought hit him and his eyes squinted as he looked at jaemin.
"uhhh why are you looking at me like that?" the black haired one asked, an unsure tone to his voice.
"you know what? why don't you..."
-
"the place looks so pretty!" y/n turned to her mother with a proud smile as the older woman looked around the engagement party venue with sparkling eyes, "you did a great job, love," she turned to y/n and lovingly caressed her face.
"thank you, mom," y/n giggled, her hand grasping her mom's as they made their way through the crowd.
the venue was decorated in hues of white and lilacs, the stage at the front of it was decorated with fresh flowers and thin branches giving it a very fresh look.
her eyes lit up when she saw her dear friend and his fiancé in the distance.
"let's go say hi to kyunhee," she told her mother as they made their way towards the couple.
-
it was thirty minutes later, when y/n was enjoying her time with a few friends and their families that the murmurs started.
at first y/n didn't pay any attention to it because who cares if a handsome guy was at the party, she was already taken. well. not anymore, but that didn't change the fact that her heart lay where jaemin was.
so imagine her surprise when she turned around to look around the place and her eyes fell on none other than the handsome guy everyone was talking about. na jaemin.
as soon as their eyes met y/n's head snapped towards kyunhee a few meters away, talking to another guest, and the piece of shit had the audacity to smile at her and throw a wink before returning his eyes to the guest.
jaemin slowly came to a stop beside her, back as straight as a wooden plank, shoulders tense. he threw a tight lipped smile around the few people surrounding him as he greeted them.
"jaemin dear?" y/n's mother's eyes sparked up in adoration and y/n smiled softly at the scene as her mom engulfed a chuckling jaemin in her arms, hands grasping his face softly as she gushed over him.
"how long it has been, love, how are you?" she asked and jaemin chuckled before patting her back and stood back up straight to look at her.
"too long, sorry i couldn't come to say hi sooner, i was stuck with all the assignments i pushed back," he apologized, ever the gentleman and y/n's eyes stung a bit as she blinked.
"ahh you study so well, but don't neglect your health," she smiled again as she hugged him tighter and jaemin nodded hugging her back. what he didn't expect was the words the older woman whispered in his ear as she pulled away.
"make things right, love, fight for each other," and she gave him the most loving smile as she said something about enjoying the evening and walked to a group of ladies.
jaemin's eyes fell on y/n and she looked away as jaemin stepped up beside her as she pulled away from the small group, saying something about getting a glass of prosecco.
she threw him a side glance as she stopped at the table.
"why are you following me," at the sound of her voice jaemin let out a breath he didn't know he was holding. his hand twitched to hold hers.
"i wanted some prosecco," he muttered and a small smile pulled at his lips when she blushed in embarrassment before nodding and moving away with the glass in her hand, jaemin doing the same. the two stood at the side in silence.
"y/n," jaemin called after a while and y/n hummed, her eyes trained to the live band, "i'm very sorry," he whispered. y/n stopped in the middle of taking a sip before detaching the glass from her lips.
"i don't want to talk about it, jaem," she muttered before taking the sip, finishing the content in the flute all in one go. jaemin's hand rested against the back of her waist in reflex.
"slow, you're gonna get dizzy," he muttered and y/n could hear the worry in his tone, and she hated it because how could he sound like that after all he had said.
there were a few things that put jaemin's worry at rest. that assured him that y/n was still is girl. he felt a small smile tug at his lips when she called him by his nickname, when she didn't push away his hand on her waist, his chest puffed out, and when she nodded at his words of worry he felt himself relax a bit.
"you're beautiful," he muttered loud enough for only y/n to hear as he took a sip of his prosecco, eyes set on her as she turned around with narrowed eyes, only to blush like crazy when her eyes met his. jaemin's eyes held an intimacy she couldn't hold right now. he let out a deep chuckle when her chest and neck set up in flames.
they stood there side by side as they watched the many couples dancing. jaemin's eyes would settle on her every few seconds, so much so that she could feel it every time.
"what are you two doing?" y/n's mother's voice made the couple's head snap to the side. y/n made sure a soft smile settled on her lips as her mother's friends followed her.
"who's this, y/n?" one of them asked, curious eyes settled onto jaemin, the latter giving a polite smile and a bow as he muttered his hellos. before y/n could answer, her mother chimed in.
"oh! this is jaemin, i told you about him! he's my daughter's boyfriend, such a gem, let me tell you. sweetest boy i ever met," she gushed, and y/n's panic stricken eyes met jaemin's smiling ones. her eyes narrowed at his pleased look.
"oh my, he's so gorgeous! you're absolutely stunning, dear!" one of the women smiled as she caressed his cheek and jaemin chuckled, muttering a thank you.
"well, what are you two doing here? go for a dance!" y/n's mother ushered as she pushed them to the clearing, where other couples were dancing.
y/n made to protest and push back but her words got swallowed up by the encouraging giggling of the older women as they stumbled upon the floor.
y/n looked at jaemin as he settled his prosecco flute on the tray of a passing waiter.
a few minutes later the two found themselves slowly swaying to the music. one of y/n's hands in jaemin's as his other hand rested against the middle of her back. his thumb brushed slowly in a comforting manner, so much so that y/n found herself stopping from leaning her head on his shoulder out of instict.
jaemin's eyes stayed on her features as hers looked anywhere but him. his heart hurt that she didn't want to even look at him, but he also understood. he had hurt her deeply, after all.
"y/n," he called, voice loud enough only for her to hear. she hummed in acknowledgment, "look at me," he tapped his thumb against her back and she reluctantly looked up at him.
"i'm sorry," he squeezed her hand, and she remained silent. she didn't know what to say. what do you say to sorry when you can't say it's okay? do you ignore it? do you say i heard you? do you just nod? what do you do?
people say sorry and expect everything to be fine, they say sorry when they know the answer is going to be it's okay. but, to y/n it wasn't okay, it couldn't be okay. she didn't know if it would be anytime soon or anything. all she knew was that she was hurt, extremely hurt. so she couldn't say it's okay.
she loved jaemin tremendously. so much so it was scary. she loved him so much her chest hurt sometimes, her lungs felt like giving out and her heart felt like squeezing the life out of it. it was painful how much she actually loved him. she felt like crying if she didn't ignore how much she actually loved him.
not because it was unhealthy, but because she knew she would give it all up for him. she couldn't dwell too much on the love she harbored for him, she just had to live with the knowledge that she loved him a lot. she knew if she tried to think about how much she loved him she would cry so much it would worry him. and she didn't know how she could ever explain that.
because how do you explain to someone you love them so much you want to cry because your heart hurts, it hurts so much because even your heart is too small to contain that much love. because you love everything about them, all of it. and you know how cheesy it is when people list out all the reasons why they love someone but your love is different; you can't pin point what exactly you love, you can't pin point what makes you happy about them, and you can't bring yourself to just find one physical attribute you love about them because that would be a lie, because that's not why you love them, and you can't say personality because as much as that's the closest thing as to why you love them, it's not quite there yet.
you just love them. the essence of what and who they are, with all their flaws and imperfections and all things perfect, it's just them entirely. it's their ability to smile when they're hurting, it's the way they make mistakes and they learn, the way they just are. and you can't explain it so you just accept it that when someone asks why you love them you'll just have to say a measly i love everything about them, and as cute as that sounds it's so basic and so underwhelming to what you actually feel but that's all that you're able to say.
so y/n stared at jaemin's eyes and her eyes stung and moistened up because she could feel her heart hurting, because she let herself actually feel how much she loved him. yes, he hurt her. yes, she was in pain. but the pain she felt from loving him was so much greater and so much more overwhelming.
jaemin was quick to softly push his hand on her back and encourage her to rest her head on his shoulder, knowing how much she hated crying in public. she gladly took the support, resting her forehead on his shoulder. he hushed her as his lips pressed against her hair.
"you hurt me," she said, and jaemin rested her hand clasped in his on his other shoulder, fingers squeezing hers, arm tightening around her back.
"i know, i'm so sorry, really, i'm so sorry, princess," he muttered, lips pressed to her hair.
"i felt like i lost everything," she started, voice trembling as she forced herself to not cry, "everything we build up, everything we went through, i felt like i lost all of it. i tried to care so much for you, i tried to show you how much i loved so hard, but i-" her voice choked, "-i felt like i lost it all, and you wouldn't even listen to me. i was so alone, i felt so alone," she continued, and jaemin's eyes stung as he listened to her, because that was all she needed; for him to listen to her.
he brought her hands behind his neck as he grasped her face in his hands and pulled her back to look her in the eyes. he sent her a soft smile as his thumbs caressed her cheeks.
"i'm so sorry i made you feel like that. i'm an absolute asshole,-" "yes you are," he chuckled as she interrupted him, "i will make it up to you. i swear, i will, please accept my apologies."
his lips downturned as she shook her head before his brows furrowed in confusion when she rested her head back on his shoulder and crossed her fingers at the back of his neck.
"make it up to me and maybe i will," she spoke softly and jaemin smiled fondly as he rest one arm around her waist and the other rose up to caress her head lovingly, and y/n's eyes closed at the action, a smile pulling at her lips.
"deal," he chuckled, before he smiled teasingly, "i'm surprised you didn't cry, you crybaby," he teased and she mutter a fuck you.
"why would i cry," she scoffed and jaemin laughed at her words.
after a beat of silence, "i read somewhere if you clench your butthole right when you're about to cry it stops the waterworks, guess it works."
and jaemin laughed loudly as she shook in his arms from her own laughter.
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donutloverxo · 3 years
Text
Yes captain
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Note - this is part three of corrupting a good boy but it's mostly porn so can be read as a standalone as well. Sorry about all the jealousy stuff its just what the muse calls for sometimes. Comments/reblogs are really really appreciated🙏🙏 Dividers by @whimsicalrogers.
Summary - You ask Steve to keep it on while doing it 👀👀
Warnings - 18+ only explicit sexual content, uniform kink, captain kink, daddy kink, roleplaying, jealousy, insecure reader.
Pairing - CEO!Steve x reader
Word count - 4.5k
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“Ooo,” you yelped, trying to run away from his firm grip across your hips.
It only made him hold onto you tighter, his nails digging into the flesh of your hips. “There’s no where to run, babygirl,” he chuckled at your misery, delivering another harsh slap to your naked bottom.
You shrieked in pain as your flesh burned in agonising, but delicious pleasure. As if you’d ever want to actually run. “I’m sorry, daddy.” Since you were allowed to call him daddy now, which seemed to always make him forgive you, but you added your princess voice just to be safe and not make it any harder on yourself.
“You should’ve thought of that before you decided to make fun of my team, but you had to be a dumb baby and run your mouth,” he scolded you, slapping you twice before slipping a hand between your legs, the squelching noises of him gathering your slick on his fingers made your ears burn.
You had gotten too bored of him watching the game and not paying attention to you so you might’ve said some mean things about his team, but the jokes on him since your diabolical plan seemed to have worked.
You had gotten too lost in slight tinge of pain in the roots of your hair, that he was pulling, and his fingers teasing your core, you yelped forward when he slapped your pussy, gasping as you throbbed for more of it.
“Honey,” Steve shook your arm causing you to jolt awake.
You had a habit of talking or mumbling nonsense in your sleep and since he was a light sleeper it usually woke him up. He found your incoherent rambles and the little faces you made in your sleep cute, they were particularly intense tonight for some reason, and while he loved you with all his heart he was not about to let you talk nonsense about the Yankees.
“What? Where?” you sat up, rubbing the soft sheen of sweat on your forehead with the back of your hand.
“You were talking in your sleep, sweetheart,” Steve said, rubbing his hand up and down your back, “Come here.” He circled a hand around your waist, pulling you down and back against his chest, kissing the back of your head, “What were you dreaming about, hm?”
“Um...” you blinked, “How much of it did you hear?”
“You think your so clever, don’t you,” he teased, pinching the side of your hip as you giggled.
“Yes, I’m very smart.”
You shut your eyes, ready to go back to dreamland and to your daddy, who was just a version of Steve who liked being called daddy. Which was something Steve would never be into. Not that you’d ever admit to having such a shameful kink.
But you felt Steve grind his excitement against your ass, “You wanna go back to sleep, or...?” he asked, biting the shell of your ear before snaking a hand up your cami to grope your breast.
“You woke me up with such debauch intention?!” you gasped in fake incredulity. Deciding to indulge him and that any time spent with normal real Steve was much better than being with dream daddy Steve.
***
You fixed his tie, tightening it just a bit around his neck. His golden hair was smoothed back, your eyes caught a glimpse of his rosy pink lips. So pouty and perfect. You could spend hours just looking at them, his smile was what truly made you fall for him. But you pulled away when he tried to steal a kiss from you.
“Gloss,” you argued, puckering your lips. Instantly feeling guilty as his pink ones pouted, giving you his sweet puppy eyes.
“Come on, doll, just one kiss? Don’t you wanna wish me luck?” He bent to capture your lips but you moved your head away at the last second, making him groan as his nose bumped against your cheek.
“I spent over two hours getting ready for this!” you huffed, smoothening a hand over your puffy tulle dress, finally having a chance to wear it out in public.
“Did you just smudge my blush?” Gasping, as you looked into the mirror, picking up your rouge and patting it on again.
You loved the dress Steve had gotten you for Christmas, it was so pretty and princess and you felt like Cinderella wearing it.
But it was too... girl-ish, Steve had insisted that you wear it. So he could show off his beautiful new wife.
Tonight though, you had to look like a woman.
A strong woman.
Who is not to be fucked around with. And not someone who is vulnerable and weak.
Because you knew she was going to be there.
“You always look gorgeous,” he mumbled, looking in the mirror and patting his hair to make sure it was in place.
You had convinced him to grow it out. Having more courage to express yourself since the Christmas gift mishap a couple of months ago.
Tucking a loose golden strange behind his ear, you wondered how someone as breathtakingly as beautiful as him could be yours.
But as beautiful as Steve was, he could also be naive. He wanted to see the best in people, which often didn’t let him see what was right in front of him.
How his ex Peggy had been trying to cause problems between you two from day one.
At first she had welcomed you with open arms, with a treacherous smile her red lips had told you that she wanted to be best friends with you. Taking you to the MET museum, of which she was a board member, asking your help in organising a couple of galas and the fundraisers. Shopping with you to make you more presentable to be a CEO’s wife
You were prepared to be wary of her. The fact that Steve was still good friends with his ex, who he had dated for more than five years, didn’t exactly sit well with you, you knew you’d face some troubles there, but then you met her and spent time with her you knew that you did had nothing to worry about.
That was until she, and Steve’s mother, had tried to get you to sign a pre-nup before you both got married.
While Sarah was always nice, you could always sense a tinge of hostility, your intuition told you how she preferred Peggy over you and would much rather have her as Steve’s wife.
With a heavy heart you had told Steve you couldn’t do it. That there was no point in getting married if you would end up divorced eventually. You were ready to cut your losses then, to pack your bags and go home, preparing for the worst. But he understood and said that he wouldn’t be marrying you if he didn’t trust you.
You were glad to have worked out everything, but decided to play nice with ‘Judas', whom you learned had infamously betrayed Jesus from a mass you attended with Steve and Sarah, and pretend that you didn’t know anything about her betrayal.
You shook your head, there was no point in letting her ruin your night, or dictate what you wore. The dress was what you liked and who you were, there was no reason for you to pretend to be like her. Steve liked you because you were nothing like her,
....probably.
You looked over to Steve, tugging his pants up and securing them, you had never once thought you’d be someone who’d have a thing for men in uniforms, they were simply doing their jobs, what the fuck was sexy about uniforms anyway, but that was until you saw your Steve in his...
He really could pull off any color, even something as boring as army green, his chest and built looked almost too broad. Numerous medals adorning his chest. He certainly looked the part of a soldier.
He kissed your temple when he caught you staring at him and you only hoped he couldn’t decipher what was going on in that horny brain of yours.
Steve rarely ever talked about his days in the army. If he did it was about the friends he made and the good times he shared with them. And how army whipped him in shape, made him the man he was.
He had been honorably discharged a couple of years ago, all his army friends only ever spoke highly of him--which wasn’t really surprising.
***
“Hello, darling,” she smiled to you in her classy British accent, kissing your cheek before hugging you, “How have you been? Haven’t seen you since new years!”
“I’m good and you look amazing.”
Which wasn’t a complete lie, she did look elegant in her uniform, a lot similar to Steve’s but her coat had flares at the end which gave it a more feminine feel than that of Steve’s.
“So do you,” she beamed, “Oh, you have a little something,” she gestured to the corner of your mouth before wiping some white frosting from your cupcake off with her thumb as you tried to keep your face from cringing.
So far the strong woman act wasn’t coming along so well...
“So...how is married life?”
Wouldn’t you like to know. “It’s very good. You know Steve, he’s just amazing. I’m lucky to have him.”
“Oh, I did heard about your little goof with your erotica from Natalie, and the gift slip up!” she laughed, hooking her arm around yours, she walked with you towards your husband. “And here I was thinking you are a good girl,” she winked.
“I... guess I’m not...”
“I must say though, unfortunately for you I don’t think Steve would like any of that. He’s always been so traditional,” she rolled her eyes, “He has an old soul.”
Yes, you knew that. You knew that he was traditional and an old soul. Of course You did, he was your husband. Why she felt the need to point out the obvious was beyond you. “Well, you know people can be unpredictable,” you countered.
“Yes, well you’re free to explore of course, I just didn’t want you to get your feelings hurt,” she put a hand over yours.
“Peggy,” Steve greeted her.
“Oh don’t mind us. We’re just gossiping about you,” she smirked.
“Really?” he looked over at you with a quizzical face, “All good things I hope.”
“I don’t have anything bad to say about you,” you said giving Peggy a side eye, “Can we dance? Please?”
It didn’t take a lot of convincing because he loved dancing. After a couple of dances it was time for him to give his speech.
Seeing your husband up on the stage, hearing everyone talk about his accomplishments made your heart swell in pride. You really couldn’t believe you were married to someone like him.
You suppose that you understood where Sarah was coming from. It would make sense for someone like Steve to fall for and marry a classy worldly lady like Peggy. There really wasn’t much you could offer him.
***
“Steve,” you huffed, trying to yank on the zipper for like the tenth time, while you loved the dress you needed to get out of it and breathe for a while.
“Yes, doll?” he called for you, entering your closet, smiling at your struggling form. “How can I help?”
“You can get me out of this thing!” you said, turning your back to him.
You were really feeling yourself tonight, you had gotten a facial and a manipedi, a blowout, spending hours on getting ready for battle. You thought you looked good and fierce. But then you took off your makeup and your extensions and were reminded of how Peggy was much more effortlessly beautiful than you. She had often been dubbed as a ‘natural beauty’.
“Y/N?”
“Hm?”
“Is something bothering you?” he asked as he unzipped you.
“No. Will you let me change now?” you turned around, to politely ask him to leave.
“You’ve changed in front of me before.”
“Yes, well I can’t right now.”
“Why not?” he frowned.
“Because...” You couldn’t stop your eyes from turning misty, “I’m ugly...”
“What? Who told you that?” His face instantly flushed with anger as he held onto your forearms, and when you didn’t push him away he pulled you in closer to his chest.
“No one needs to. I know it because I’m not blind,” you confessed, the cool metal of his medal digging into your cheek.
“Then maybe we need to get your eye sight checked. Because you’re the prettiest girl in this whole world. I’ll fight anyone who says otherwise.” He stroked your hair, placing a soft kiss on the top of your head.
“You’ll have to fight the whole world then.”
“If it comes to that then I will.”
You couldn’t help but smile at how protective he was. Propping your chin up on his chest you blinked at him. “Why didn’t you marry Peggy? She’s so much more beautiful.” Your heart was heavy with so many emotions, usually you wouldn’t give in and ask something so dangerous--a question you weren’t sure you wanted the answer to.
Judging by the frown on his face, you were afraid that you had upset him, but then it softened as his pale baby blues twinkled at you, “Why would you say that, doll? Peggy is beautiful, but I’ve never loved anyone the way I love you. I could never even dream of marrying anyone else.”
“I’m sorry,” you sighed. “I know I shouldn’t be comparing myself to others.”
“You really shouldn’t. They don’t measure up to you anyway,” he teased.
“It’s just...” you gulped, not being able to hold his gaze you played with the olive green buttons on his coat, “I heard at the party from Tony, that she will be working with you from now on. Do you think that’s a good idea?”
“You don’t trust me?” his voice cracked.
You whipped your head up, frantically shaking your head from side to side, “No no of course I do! I’m just saying it’s a risky game. To be around her so much... what if old feelings resurface?”
Your heart almost broke as he let go of you, putting some distance between you both, “You know all I ever ask for is that you trust me... and love me. I don’t think it’s a lot.”
You scoffed, “Yeah well, I don’t think me asking you not to work with your ex is a lot. No woman would be okay with her husband spending that much time with her ex.”
He pinched the bridge of his nose, “Why can’t I get through to you?”
“Maybe try speaking at a fourth grade level. Then I’ll understand. Since I don’t have a masters in literature from Sorbonne,” you rolled your eyes. Maybe he was intimidated by how smart Peggy is and decided to go for someone younger and dumber.
“I’ve never... been in love with Peggy or anyone but you really,” he told you, his broad shoulders hunching as he let out a sigh, “Not the way I’m in love with you. We were always more like friends than... lovers.”
“Is that better or worse?” you wondered out loud. Isn’t it important for husband and wife to be friends as well? Was that supposed to be a compliment?
“It’s much better. We would go months without seeing each other, and I didn’t miss her. Like I miss you when I’m at work. I can’t wait to get away and come home to you. Peggy is amazing, and I’ll always have a special place for her in my heart, but I would never even think about cheating on you.
But... I understand where you’re coming from. Maybe I would react the same way if you were to work with an ex. So I can just tell her that she’ll have to work with Nat, or someone else.”
“No,” you blurted.
Absolutely not.
Because A - You really did trust Steve not to stray. He wasn’t that type of man. And B - That would be admitting defeat. Admitting to her that you are afraid of her.
“I do trust you, Steve. I think... I just need to work on myself. If we don’t have trust then we don’t have anything right?”
“I trust you too, honey,” he kissed your forehead. “Just talk to me about this stuff okay? You can’t keep it bottled up.” You nodded as he worked on loosening his tie.
“Um... is that uncomfortable?” you asked, watching him pop open the first button of his shirt.
“The uniform? A little. It’s been a while since I put it on.”
“I’m surprised you didn’t wear it at our wedding.” You smiled. Maybe it was a good thing that he didn’t. While he looked so handsome in the black tux he had worn, the uniform would’ve made him irresistible. You would’ve spent the whole evening swooning over him.
“It didn’t feel right, I just wanted to be myself. Uh... doll,” he quirked a brow as he caught you staring at his crotch, “Hey,” he snapped his fingers, “My eyes are up here.”
“Yes, um, of course,” you whipped your head up as soon as you heard him, since you were too busy trying to make out the outline of his johnson, “And what beautiful eyes you have!”
“Tell me something. What is your obsession with this uniform?”
“I don’t know what you mean.” You decided to feign ignorance.
“Really? You’ve been staring at me all night. Do you not like it? Do you like it? Sometimes I think I don’t understand women at all.”
You probably would’ve appreciated his suit even more so if you hadn’t spent so much time festering in your jealousy. “I think... it’s... kinda hot,” you sighed dreamily as he blushed a crimson red. “You’re like this big strong Captain, and I’m like this small woman, like a damsel in distress type of thing.”
“Oh.” Was the only thing that he said. He never believed you would be into something like that, not from all the feminist rants you tend to go on.
“Oh god. You think I’m a weirdo, don’t you?” You put your hands over your face to hide it from him.
“No no, hey, don’t be like that,” he cooed, pulling your hands away so he could look at your pretty face, “I can be your... big, strong Captain. And you can be my damsel in distress.”
“Huh?”
“Yeah. So... how would it work? Do I save you from a burning building or something?”
“No, sweetie. You’re thinking of a fireman.”
“Oh, right,” he blushed, scratching the back of his neck, “We can do the fireman thing if you like. I can... be a fireman.”
“Steve, we don’t have to do anything.”
“I know. But I want to. Come on! Give me something to work with.”
“Okay,” you cleared your throat. “How about... you keep the suit on?”
“On for how long?” he tilted his head like a cute confused puppy, looking down at his suit, “Oh! You mean on while we’re...”
“Yes. And I could, I don’t know, thank you for serving my country.”
“Yeah. I mean medals and all are nice, but I want a special kind of thanks from you, doll.”
“Ooo,” you felt up his biceps through his coat and shirt, he really was strong. “Do you have anything specific in mind?” you asked, batting your lashes.
“Um... yes.... You get on your knees, miss... I mean ma’am, shit,” he cursed as he awkwardly stumbled over his words. “What do I call you? Are you my wife in this scenario?”
“You can just call me doll, captain. I’ll be whatever you want me to be,” you smiled, cheekily pressing your lips to his in a quick peck but he held onto your waist before you could pull away. Sliping his tongue inside your mouth.
“Alright then, doll. Show me how grateful you are,” he puffed his chest out, so he could appear a bit more dominant.
You only giggled, taking your dress off because there was no way you could kneel in so much tulle.
Standing before him in just a strapless bra and a nude thong, you were vulnerable, but not scared anymore. He was your captain, he’d never ridicule you.
“I’m already feeling appreciated,” he said as he ogled you.
You dropped down to your knees, unbuckling him with some help from him, “It’s so big,” you gasped when you looked at his length, pretending to be seeing it for the first time. Although, you were still always surprised with the sheer monstrosity of it.
“We’ll make it fit, doll. Don’t you worry your pretty little head about that,” he smiled, tapping on your mouth, “Open,” he commanded.
You’re a natural, captain. You took a deep breath before opening wide. You’d been having sex regularly for the past three months or so, he had gone down on you more times than you could count, you felt as if he could live between your legs if he could. But he had never once asked you to return the favor, you didn’t have it in you to be the first one to bring it up either.
Licking your lips, you tasted someone of the preejaculate leaking out of his tip before wrapping your mouth around his head, moaning at the salty taste and the essence of him.
“That’s... ugh,” he groaned, “That’s good. Keep going,” he spurred you on, a hand on the back of your head giving you the slightest bit of push.
You took as much of him as you could, stopping halfway through when he hit the back of your throat, you pumped the rest of his length with your palm, holding onto his thick thigh for support, you bobbed your head, increasing your pace when he started moaning loudly.
Rubbing your thighs together to relive some pressure, your throbbing core desperate for some attention and friction, you knew your panties were ruined.
You had read your fair share of cosmos, and the many sex tips they offered, you knew they’d come in handy someday. You swore you remembered reading something about balls... to suck them? Bite them?
You fondled his balls, feeling him tightening in your palm, you were ready to swallow all of you. That was the only proper way of saying thank you.
“Wait,” he growled, pulling you off of him.
You looked up at him, wiping your mouth with the back of your hand, “Did I do something wrong?”
“No, doll,” he heaved, “But I gotta come in your pussy.”
Your jaw dropped, to hear the golden boy using such filthy language. “Whatever you say, captain,” you rasped.
Gasping when he yanked you up, pulling you over his shoulder and carrying you to the bed before throwing you down on the mattress.
Although Steve had always been dominant in bed, it was somewhat lowkey and subtle, he was never rough with you, he treated you as if you were made of glass, right now he was treating you as if you were literally a ragdoll.
“Take off your panties,” he ordered you.
You followed quickly, desperate to have him inside you asap, rolling your thing down your thighs and then getting rid of your bra before he even had to ask. You looked at him through your lashes, waiting patiently for his next command.
He hesitated for a moment before saying, “Now touch yourself.” It had always been a wet dream of his to watch you, instruct you as you got yourself off. Since your intention was to please him... he might as well make most of it.
You blinked at him before nodding, “Yes, captain.”
Fondling your breast you pinched your nipple, pulling on it before hissing exaggeratedly, smirking when you saw his hand twitch to touch you.
“What do I do?” you looked up at him with big doe eyes.
He shook his head, circling a hand around your wrist he shoved two of your fingers inside your mouth, “Suck,” he told you. “You like having your mouth stuffed, don’t you?” he asked as you noisily suckled on his fingers.
You shamelessly nodded, hoping that you’d get more opportunities to suck his cock from now on, he pulled your fingers out, bringing them down between your legs, pushing them into your willing channel. His own thumb rubbing on your clit working you up even moreso.
You threw your head back as you felt your climax approaching. “So close... captain.”
But he pulled your hand away from your pussy, tutting at your disobedience, “I didn’t tell you you could come.” He shook your head, giving you a minute to catch your breath before pushing two of his, much larger fingers inside you, “Gotta get you ready, doll. Since you’re so small.”
“Oh! It’s too much...” you moaned, holding onto the bedding.
“How're you gonna take my dick then, doll,” you watched as he licked your slick off of his fingers, “You taste like heaven, honey.”
“Thank you, captain.”
He unbuttoned his coat, he would be much freer without it and fuck you properly like you deserved.
You rolled your eyes when he folded his coat setting down on the floor, when you were literally lying naked before him with your legs spread wide, waiting as his tie and pants followed, “Really?” you scoffed.
“Can’t have them getting dirty, doll.” He knelt on the bed, now only in his shirt, spreading your legs a bit further so he could make room for himself, nudging your intimate lips apart with his length before slowing sinking into you.
He stayed like that for a bit, inside your heat, it felt as if he would explode then and there but he had to savor the moment. To have such a pretty girl wrapped around him.
Hovering over you he placed his elbows on sides of your head so he wouldn’t put too much of his weight on you, and so he could look at your as he fucked you.
He moved his hips against yours, rocking slow and steady, “You like that, doll?”
“Yes,” you nodded as he pulled on your hair to bare your neck to him. Biting your neck to mark you as his, “Do it harder, please, captain.”
“Harder?” he spoke against your neck, pinning both your hands above your head as he started rigorously pounding into you. “That hard enough?”
You were too fucked out to give a coherent answer, or to do anything but nod pathetically and take whatever he gave you.
“Ima come...” you clenched around him as your orgasm washed over you, rendering you immobile and weightless.
He thrusted into you a couple of times before filling you up to the brim - just as he had promised.
“Thank you, doll. That was really nice,” he smiled, laying beside you and pulling you closer to him, he kissed your forehead.
“Thank you, captain. You sure know how to treat a lady right...”
“Maybe we can do this more often,” he suggested as you nodded in reply.
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Shout out to my friend lizzygal (you can find her on ao3) who gave me the idea of Steve folding his uniform. It was too hilarious to leave out! Thanks for reading.
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I’m On Fire [Chapter 1]
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Summary: With her sister’s wedding fast approaching and her Mom hounding her about finding a date, Y/N makes a terrible decision that lands her and her least favorite genius in a confusing situation.
A/N:  This is the first part in a series, I’ve written the first few chapters already so I’m hoping to update pretty regularly! I hope you guys enjoy, and any feedback is always appreciated! ❤️
Pairing: Spencer Reid x Fem Reader
Category: Fake Dating, Enemies to Lovers, (Eventual) Smut, Fluff, Angst, it’s a Slow Burn Baby
Warnings: None really for this chapter, cursing? Mean-ish Spencer
Word Count: 6.5k
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Series Masterlist
Masterlist 
I wasn’t at the BAU long before it started to feel like home. The team became my family, pure and simple.
Having been recruited by Hotch at only 22 I'd sort of fallen into the roll of the little sister to the team without really meaning to. It's not that I was naive, or particularly sheltered even. I know I'm good at my job, and I'd want to be, given how my life's revolved around it almost entirely. But the team seemed to adopt a protective mindset over me right off the bat.
When I first joined the FBI everything was terrifying. I worked so hard for my PhD, trying to get into the unit, but there's almost nothing that can actually prepare you for the real thing. Being out in action in the field, working the cases out in real time. Sometimes they had a smooth, easy conclusion followed by loud obnoxious drinks together. Then there were the others, the ones that kept me up for days after and felt as though they owned little pieces of my heart still.
It was JJ that helped the most on those horrible flights back on the jet. Noticing my anxious ticks and uneasy disposition after that first case that had ended badly. JJ had been through it all before, taking too many cases home with her. Seeing her son's little faces in the kids that we couldn't help. If I was the baby of the team JJ was the big sister, looking out for everyone.
Morgan on the other hand was the outrageously cool older brother, the one you just wanted to be. Early on he'd helped my weak self with the ruthless fitness regimen the FBI required, he offered to pull some strings and get the test written off. But I couldn't accept that, there was something in me that just wanted to impress Morgan, and honestly still does. Like somehow if he thought you were cool, then it became true. So I passed the exam, but getting up a flight of stairs was near impossible for a week after.
Emily was probably the fun aunt. The one that would sneak you booze at the family gathering, or take you to your first concert. Emily was actually the one who'd found me, digging around colleges for potential recruits she'd had me picked out for a while I later found out. Insisting that Hotch give me a shot. It was reassuring to know I had someone who would stick up for me from day one.
I was an tech analyst, among other things, sort of a counterpart for Garcia in the field. So it was no surprise to anyone when the two of us hit it off as though we'd known each other forever. We weren't the same by any means though. Penelope was bold, and bright, and confident beyond measure, where I've typically felt like more of a blend into the background type. I've always thought of myself that way, despite my achievements. I'd also always believed I was fairly inoffensive, no one I'd met had ever had a huge problem with me, 'till I got to the BAU that is.
Every rose has its thorn I suppose.
That thorn in my side was Dr. Spencer Reid.
It wasn't that Dr. Reid was a bad agent, or even a bad person. I hadn't actually met him before that first day in the conference room, but I'd known who he was for a long time. Before I came along he'd held the mantle of 'youngest ever recruit' in the unit, while I was studying I'd read any of his work I could get my hands on because of that fact.
I figured it must've been some sort of hazing when he looked me up and down that first day I was introduced, and then proceeded to blank me entirely for a full week. Up until I'd wrapped my first case.
The whole team went straight from the jet to the bar. Proceeding to get far too drunk. Spencer joined, which the rest of the team found unusual, and I probably should've taken as a sign of things to come.
That case went well, and everyone was in high spirits but Reid had a sour disposition, at least it seemed that way every time he looked at me. After a few too many drinks I went outside in an attempt to sober up in the cold air, unfortunately Reid must've snuck outside not long before.
"Ugh" was all he said when he first caught my silhouette approaching him. The night was unusually cold so it had been deserted outside the bar that evening. I wasn't really sure why it made me nervous to be alone with him like this, the two of us leaning back against the same small area of brick wall, looking out at the cold night.
"Nice to see you too doctor" was all I could muster, I was drunk enough that I let my sarcastic tone leap out, "you can relax, I'm just trying to get some fresh air, it's too stuffy in there, and loud. I'm not here to talk to you or anything."
"Well aren't you a sensitive thing" he responds in kind, at that point I wasn't really sure if it was a coincidence or if he'd been genuinely avoiding me, but things were starting to clear up.
"I'm sensitive, that's a fun take on things" I joke, taking a long sip of cold water from my glass.
"And what's that supposed to mean, newbie?" his emphasis on the last word all but confirms my suspicions.
"Fuck man, what's your problem with me? Is it because I'm new, or because I beat your stupid record?" I quip. hoping that at the very least it might coax him out of his shell. Dr. Spencer Reid getting angry at me could honestly be better than the nothing I'd been experiencing from him until now.
"What stupid record?" he sounds genuinely confused
"I'm the youngest BAU recruit now?" I didn't know why else he could be so sour. He'd never met me before last week, and since he'd ignored me that first day I'd done all I could not to step on his toes. So if he had a reason to hate me this much, it wasn't something I'd done on purpose.
He takes a few moments to respond, raising his eyebrows and considering the information. He chuckles. He fucking chuckles.
"That's funny." he says, his voice leveling out, "I didn't peg you as funny newbie" that word sets something off in me again. Something about it is dismissive, or belittling. Before I could fight back he starts to move, maneuvering around me and heading back inside. A little too tipsy to think of anything constructive to say, I just mutter "Fuck you Spencer."
He swings open the door, as he walks inside he just says "See you Monday, Newbie" without even looking at me.
And that was only the beginning.
----
"You know I'm just trying to make sure you get enough rest sweetheart. There's no need to get so defensive!" it was far too early in the morning to be dealing with this call. Since joining the BAU a few years ago this was a standard call from my Mom. Equal parts well meaning and over-bearing, and generally asking far too many questions.
"I'm not getting defensive Mom, I get plenty of rest, my job is just very important to me and you know that." I knew she was right to be at least a little worried, this job was consuming, and in all honesty I wasn't sure how people like JJ were married and still here. It seemed like an impossible feat.
"Fine sweetie, how are your co-workers doing then? How's Penelope? Give her my love" she loved Penelope, I think she thought that Penelope tethered me to the normal world, and in a way she was right. She kept me sane, and fun, and made me eat pizza and do face masks once a week at least. Even when I didn't think I wanted to.
"Pen's great Mom, everyone's good. Well, the usual ones get on my nerves, but I'm fine." As I say it I glance across at Dr. Reid, the only person who's also in as early as I am most days. I'm not sure if he can hear me but he's tapping his pen so loud on his desk that it takes all of my energy not to walk across the bullpen and stab him with it.
"Y'know what Mom, I'm actually just after getting to work and it's a busy day so can I call you back later?" I chance, getting her off the phone is always an ordeal.
"Fine, fine, I'll let you go. But wait one last thing!"
I knew what was coming. It was always coming.
"Are you seeing anyone, Margot's been wondering too, just thought I'd check in?"
Pinching the bridge of my nose and trying not to scream down the line, I just sigh out the frustration instead.
"No Mom, believe it or not, I've made no progress on that front since you asked me all of 3 days ago."
"See you are being defensive!" she snaps
"I gotta go, bye Mom. Love you!" I say, hanging up quickly before dropping my head down into my arms on my desk, resting like that for a few moments in silence.
Hearing Garica chuckle behind my ear I perk up and spin around. She's holding a small paper cup of coffee and hands it to me. I look at it confused, "Sorry about the paper, I couldn't find your mug in the cabinet" she apologizes, looking over at Dr. Reid and rolling her eyes. Now I know he can hear me from his seat, he takes that moment to sip from my mug and place it gently back on his desk.
It hadn't taken long for him to start toying with me. It was always stupid childish things. Things I couldn't get genuinely annoyed at, that would give him far too much satisfaction, knowing he was getting to me in any real way. This was one trick he liked to play if he got into the office before me, he'd take my mug and make his coffee in it, just to spite me I guess.
"Why does he even do that, it's so stale" she said, just a little louder than normal to make sure he could hear. Garcia and Reid were still good friends and team-mates but she liked to stand up for me when she could. He liked to avoid me as much as possible so he'd usually go to Garcia before me if he needed help with something. Even when the two of us were out in the field together. Which was obnoxious but it was just another thing I'd gotten used to over time. And as long as it didn’t interfere with the case I just forced myself to let it go.
"I know it's such low grade bullying isn't it?" I shot back with a chuckle.
"So I'll take it that was Mommy dearest" Penelope gestures to my phone. She knew my Mom, and she knew about her general overbearing energy. I let out a groan thinking about the call again, and the calls that were to come.
"Isn't it always Mommy dearest?" I joke
"So she's still on your ass about the wedding then?" I'm sure Penelope was almost as sick of hearing about it as I was,
"Margot's getting married in like 4 months now, and every time Mom calls there’s just some new hometown loser she wants to set me up with Pen. It's fucking exhausting" I take a sip of the coffee she made me, savoring the bitter taste. She sits down on my desk for a moment, leaning in.
"Honey, did you ever think that if you got out there and found someone, she wouldn't be on your ass at all?" I don't want to think about that, about how she's completely right. All I can do is let out another small groan and lean back down onto my desk.
"Too early Pen" I say, it's muffled by the desk but she gets the message. Hopping up and heading to her own office as some more people start to arrive for the morning.
Leaving me alone to make a start on my paperwork that had built up throughout the week. Fridays were usually slow like this, giving me a little too much time to think. I couldn't shake the thought that my Mom and Penelope were actually right. Maybe I was a bit too invested in the job, and maybe that was a pretty big factor in why my last relationship imploded but I wasn't about to admit that to anyone.
----
After that the day crawls by, thankfully no cases pop up so the weekend might actually be free. Trying to make sure I clear up all of my paperwork takes a little longer than I'd hoped and leaves me alone in the bullpen. It seems like everyone's gone home by the time I've packed up and I'm ready to leave. Which wasn't as out of the ordinary as I'd like it to be really. Everyone else seemed to have somewhere to be on a Friday night.
Waiting for the elevator to arrive my phone started to ring, I could see my Mom's caller ID on the screen. If I just let it go I know she'll call back later, may as well get it out of the way. I take a deep breath in anticipation before I answer.
"Hey what's up?" I answer, stepping inside the elevator as the doors ping open.
"Hi sweetie, I've got good news! Do you remember David? That lovely boy, he helped out your Father that summer in high school?" I know what's coming and rub my temple, trying to stifle the headache I know is coming. As I answer a hand slides between the elevator doors, popping them open again.
Dr. Fucking Reid walks in, and he looks about as happy to see me as I am to see him. I make eye contact and look away just as fast, willing him away with my mind. "Yes Mom, I remember him, why are you telling me this?" I already know the answer but I'm fed up, she still sounds excited when she responds.
"Well you won't believe it! I ran into him at the market this morning and I thought you'd like it if I passed on your phone number to him, maybe for the weddi-" it took all I had not to shout into the receiver, and maybe I would've had the elevator been empty.
"Mom! Jesus!" I have to reign myself in, but I have a bad idea, "You know what, I'm actually sorted. I've got a date lined up now" I'm not sure why I said it with no real plan in place. She sounds even more excited than I've ever heard her.
"Oh my, that's amazing sweetie! That was fast, I can't believe you found one since this morning, it's someone from work so?" she assumes, and I'm just not thinking fast enough to correct her.
"Mmhmm, yeah" I'll figure out the logistics later I rationalize.
"Oh! Is it that boy you're always on about, the one who teases you?" she asks, and her voice is full of joy, and it makes me feel horrible that I'm lying already, and that I'm going to let her down.
"Yup, that's the one, look Mom I gotta go, I'll talk to you later! Night" I blurt out so fast it has to be obvious I'm nervous.
I can hear a stifled chuckle behind me. Fuck. How loud is my phone speaker. Could he hear that. Surely not. But this elevator was completely silent. The doors open and I have to stop myself from running to my car at top speed. Instead I walk out just a little faster than normal, turning around to shoot him a small wave goodbye. And he's got this devious smirk on his face that makes my stomach turn.
Sitting into my car I pull out my phone to text Garcia immediately.
I'm on my way to yours right now. It's urgent.
——
Traffic's light so it takes maybe 10 minutes before I arrive at Garcia's place. My mind's racing and my body takes me there on autopilot. Why did I say any of that, why did I even answer the damn phone. Why did I wave goodbye to Spencer, I never usually did that. Maybe that's why he had that look on his face. Maybe he was just thinking of something funny that happened earlier and it had nothing to do with me at all. That was something he'd do to mess with me for sure.
How was I going to walk this back with my Mom, she was just gonna have more questions that I couldn't answer. Fuck.
Garcia buzzed me up and her door was open for me by the time I got up the stairs. This little purple apartment had become my second home. It was where I spent most of my evenings off, laughing on the same sofa I was collapsing face first into right now. Garcia nestles in beside me and runs her hand over my hair, "Hey sweet pea, what's happening? I don't want to sound too concerned but you're not giving me much to go off? Are you dying, is there drama? You're going to have to tell me what's so urgent before I burst a blood vessel?"
I let out a muffled, "is drahmuh" into the pillow, Garcia shakes my shoulders.
"Sit up babe, damn!" I have to heave myself out of the pillows, sitting upright on the sofa beside her, clutching one of the pillows in my arms.
"It's drama" I repeat,
"Well, out with it then, you know I'll take all the drama I can get! Spill, spill" she rushes me along. I'm already apprehensive, Reid's her coworker too, but if anyone would understand why this was such an issue it was gonna be her.
"Okay, I'm after doing something stupid and I think I really need your advice" I cringe already, thinking back to the elevator, throwing out my words faster, I continue the story, mostly trying to get it over with, "my Mom called again when I was on the way out tonight and she was trying to set me up with this guy, and Reid was there, and I got all flustered, and I told her I had a date already" I throw my head down into the pillow again.
"Wait why was Reid there?" she looks like she's trying to fit puzzle pieces together and she's getting nowhere, "And what's the drama?"
"Shit Garcia, it was in the elevator and it was all quiet, and maybe he heard the call, maybe he didn't but he had this fuckin' look on his stupid face" I can't shake the smug little smirk, it's burned inside my eyelids. Garcia's face falls in what looks like disappointment.
"Ugh Y/N! That's nothing chill out, why does it matter if he heard your call? I know you guys are all weird but none of that is any of his business anyway!" she shoo's her hand in the air, dismissing the whole situation.
"No Garcia, it is his business now" I have to close my eyes when I say it, I can't look at her "I told my Mom that he was my date, well, I didn't say his name or anything, she assumed it was someone from work and so I just agreed, and then she suggested that it was him and then I fucking panicked Pen, I fucked up so bad. What do I do?"
I finally opened my eyes to look up at Garcia. She was sitting in pure silence, pursing her lips in what seemed like contemplation. The puzzle pieces finally slotting together. It's as though a light bulb goes off behind her eyes and she bursts out in fits of laughter. Doubling over on herself before finally taking a few breaths to calm herself down. I'm honestly not sure why she finds the whole thing so funny, she know's how needlessly annoying he's made my life, she's seen it first hand and heard me talk about it over and over again in this very apartment over pizza.
"Garcia, this is not fucking funny! This is serious!" I try to calm her down, I need advice not whatever this is.
"I'm so sorry Y/N, I love you dearly. But this isn't funny, this is hilarious. It's like you're Sandra Bullock in some mid-90's rom com. I love it" I don't love it, in fact I hate it. I nearly snap at her but pull myself back.
"Pen, come on, help me out. What do I do with this, how do I fix it?" I plead.
She stops laughing and pulls out her phone, "Okay, I'm sorry. I'm going to order us a pizza, and we're gonna sort this thing out together, sound good?" I just nod and collapse back into the sofa. I think I feel better now that I've gotten it out in the open.
----
Penelope makes us tea while we wait for the pizza, she keeps lemon & ginger in her cabinet for me, just like I keep mint for her. The warm mug and the steam calm me down. After a few minutes alone to think about it I start to figure it out a little better. I figure I can just lie to my Mom for a while, it might suck but I can pretend for a bit and then make up some excuse as to why he can't come closer to the time. Then I can just bring Garcia instead and everyone's happy. I'm about to float my plan to her there's a knock on her door. I was so caught up that I hadn't really noticed quite how starving I'd gotten. Leaping up of the sofa to grab the door.
I swing it open but it's not the pizza guy. Somehow it's the opposite of the pizza guy, my worst nightmare is on the other side of the door. He must notice my eyes blow completely wide. "Y/N!" he says, more of a statement than a question really, like he's telling himself that he's actually seeing me in the doorway. I'm not as gentle.
"What the fuck are you doing here Reid?!" I can't even disguise my anger. He seems a little flustered, like he's got absolutely no idea how to proceed.
"Um, uh, is Garcia here? I can, um, I can just come back later?" he swallows hard and shakes his head, before I can agree and tell him to get lost Penelope races to the door, pulling it wide open.
"Nope, that won't be necessary Doctor! Come on in, you're right on time sweetheart" she waves him in and he walks past me, his demeanor changing almost instantly. He's smug, like he's won whatever battle this was. And I hate it. Though he's still as confused as me despite the newfound attitude. Reid sits down on the sofa, right where I had been sitting. I bite my tongue and sit on the opposite end.
"Are you okay Garcia?" he asks with a genuine concern, "What's going on, what was the emergency?". He's not stupid, he knows she's not in danger now that he's here. But he wants answers. I don't know that I've ever seen him this confrontational with anyone, well anyone but me. The entire time I’m staring her down as she sits in the armchair opposite the two of us. My keys are in my pocket and my car's right outside. I could just jump up and make a break for it. Escape.
"You know what Doc, you won't believe it but I'm not actually the one with the emergency" she takes a beat, and I'm starting to think that I might understand why people murder other people after all these years, "Y/N has something urgent she needs to talk to you about" she's silent for another moment, and she almost looks giddy, "Actually Spencer, you might already know a little something about the matter already, now that I think about it" she smirks, and it's pure joy.
My keys are in my hand ready to bolt when the doorbell chimes again. "Oh, that'll actually be the pizza this time, if you two will excuse me" she hops up out of the armchair and races to the door, leaving the two of us alone in a horrible silence. The tension is almost too much, I want to speak but I really have no idea what to say, or how to even start saying it. But he starts.
"Y/N what's going on, I feel like I'm out of the loop here? What am I missing?" he asks, and there's something uncharacteristically genuine about the way he says it, but he can't turn to look at me as he speaks. I almost want to let my guard down and just have a conversation but I can’t force myself to do it. "Shut up Reid." is all I mutter, folding my arms across my chest.
He turns sharply on the sofa to face me. "Hey Y/N. Believe it or not I'm about as happy as you with whatever kind of Parent Trap situation Garcia's got going on here. But from what I'm picking up on you've got a problem and I'm supposed to be able to help with it. So do you want to tell me what's going on or not? I can just go?" I can see that there's an anger bubbling right below the surface, threatening to burst. I know I shouldn't but I let him stew in silence for a little too long and he jumps up off the sofa.
"Y'know what, typical" he mutters, rolling his eyes as he says it, "this is all about you." he throws his bag over his shoulders and begins to walk towards the door. Something in me just snaps.
"All about me?! Are you fucking kidding? I've been tip-toeing around you for years, ever since I joined this damn unit!" I shout as Garcia comes back into the room, pizza box and plates in her hands.
"So, who's hungry?" Garcia asks, trying to break the tension, or pretending there's no tension at all. Reid shakes his head in disbelief and rubs his temple before he speaks again, "Actually I was just gonna head out" he gestures to the door, "I'm clearly not wanted here so I'm gonna leave you guys to it." Spencer makes a move to leave but Garcia grabs the strap of his shoulder bag, yanking him back ever so slightly before he really has the chance to escape.
"You are going absolutely nowhere kid" She points back to the sofa, "get back there" she glances to me, staring with far too much intensity. "You too, sit." Her voice is more stern than I've ever heard it, even while we were on a case. I can't help but obey her command and I sit back down on the sofa in silence. Followed by Reid, clearly processing the same uneasy feeling of a serious Penelope.
She sits opposite the two of us again. "Y/N, Spencer, I love the two of you with all of my heart, albeit separately, and I would die for either one of you. But you've got to chill the hell out!" she says it like she's had it bottled up forever. The tension that releases from her as she says it looks euphoric.
She opens up the pizza box and lays it on the coffee table and takes out a slice for herself. Taking a bite she leaves the two of us in stunned silence. Once she finishes the mouthful she turns to me specifically, "Y/N you tell him, or I will." dead serious. And the feeling in my belly is like I've just fallen down an elevator shaft.
My stomach is in knots as I turn to Spencer on the sofa next to me. His face is puzzled and I think I might be able to make out pure terror in his expression. I don't know that I've ever been looked at like this before and my stomach screws up tighter. I have to take a deep breath and I can't believe I'm about to say it. "Fuck it" I have to take another breath almost immediately so I just have to force the rest out, "I don't know if you heard the call I was on while we were in the elevator earlier?" I look up to gauge his reaction and I can see his face relax, and worse than that, one corner of his mouth lifts into a sort of smile. It's a look of pure smug satisfaction and I think I might scream. I have to close my eyes because I really don't think I can look at that face as I say the next part.
"My sister is getting married in a few months and my Mom's been on my ass to find a date for the wedding and she keeps trying to set me up with these losers, so I fucking panicked, and I told her you were my date." by the time the sentence is out my eyes have screwed up so tight it feels like I have to pry them open.
He sits in silence for too long. Thinking, maybe?
"So I'm the boy who teases you then?" he grins. So he did hear. And he did laugh. He looks far too self satisfied. Now he knows he's right. He knows I've talked to my Mom about him, that he's gotten in my head. I can tell from his smile that he's savoring the moment. Mostly because I can't slap the smug smile off his face I drop my head into my hands. In an effort to disappear I guess.
"So," he says, taking a moment, "is that all you wanted to say then?" he asks, lighthearted and obnoxious, back to his usual self. I snap back to reality, shooting my head back up.
"What do you mean is that all?" I throw back genuinely shocked,
"Is that all you had to say Y/N? Can I go now? It's a long bus ride home y'know" he smirks but makes no effort to move. He can't possibly be making me do this.
"Well no, obviously!" I stutter, "I mean, are you, will you, uh?" I can't bring myself to say it out loud. He leans in on the sofa looking directly at me, refusing to break eye contact.
"Did you have something you wanted to ask me Y/N?" I just want to smack that fucking look off his face,
"Fuck you Spencer Reid" I almost whisper under my breath, but Garcia snaps me back to reality.
"Hey!" she looks at me, stern again, "Ask him." it's not a question, or a suggestion, it's a command.
"Fine okay" I scrunch my eyes up again, "Will you come to my sisters wedding with me as my fake boyfriend?" I curl up into myself as I say it, I can almost feel the bile rising up from my stomach. Like I'm having a biological reaction to the whole thing.
Reid crosses his arms and sinks back on the sofa, like he's performing the act of thinking. He's considering my offer to make me squirm.
When he finally speaks he says "Well I would Y/N, but I really fail to see what's in it for me" he's after getting cocky now.
Garcia pipes up, excited, "Oh, Oh! I know! I have an idea!" she interjects, "Spencer remember how a while ago, back after your apartment flooded you were all all worried about your antique books and prints and stuff?" he nods, "Well Y/N could digitize the collection for you as a back up? I know you're a technophobe? C'mon Y/N, you know you could do that no sweat, and it would take you a lifetime alone Spencer?" I really don't want to admit it but she's right. Even I knew Reid was adverse to any technology that wasn't vital, but it was your specialty. And maybe that was a good trade off, a job like that would be near impossible for him to pull off without help. I take a glance over at Reid and he seems to have had the same train of thought as me. He lets out an exaggerated sigh and relaxes his posture.
"Fine, I guess that's a fair trade. I'm in." he resigns and I almost can't believe it. I'm barely processing the whole conversation as he sticks his hand out to me, I'm confused for a second before I grab it and shake it firmly. Condemning myself to whatever's about to happen. And it's not the time to be thinking about it but maybe this is the first time Spencer and I have ever touched? But I shove that thought away.
Garcia's positively beaming and she's not even trying to hide it. "Now it's like you're both in a Sandra Bullock movie, oh, but you're Hugh Grant maybe?" she points to Reid.
"Don't push it" I shoot in her direction, taking a slice of pizza, now that my anxiety stomach has sort of passed.
Once the pizza's been eaten in near completely awkward silence Spencer stands up off the sofa. His unsure demeanor has returned and he looks nervous. "I actually should get going this time" he says but Garcia pipes up to protest,
"No, it's not even late!"
"It takes me a while to get back home, thank you though Pen. For... this?" he gestures to the whole living room, "Night" he waves. He's almost made it to the door before I stand up out of my seat. I'm not really sure what comes over me, maybe it's gratitude, maybe it's guilt, or maybe I'm just exhausted.
"Wait Spencer. Let me give you a ride home?" I ask and it's like it's not even me saying it .
"Thanks, but I think I can make it home just fine" he dismisses, and there’s an antagonizing tone in his voice that snaps me right back to our usual rapport.
"I'm trying to do a nice thing here, fuck! Just let me do something nice!" I snap, and he throws his arms up in surrender.
"Fine alright, if it'll make you feel better"
"Fuck you Reid" I mutter under my breath and I sort of hope that he does hear me really. If he's gonna be hostile about this I can be too. I give Garcia a hug goodbye but I'm going to scold her for this whole thing later.
----
I lead the way outside and climb into my car, Spencer hops into the passenger seat and it feels as strange as always to be alone with him. Especially because it's not an accident, and it's not in work. Maybe this was a horrible idea. He seems like he's unwilling to break the silence, so I just get it over with.
"Where the hell do you live man? I'm gonna need directions." I say, as deadpan as I can muster, which probably isn't all that intimidating.
"Sorry, yeah, so you're gonna want to turn on the ignition" he teases. I definitely wasn't intimidating enough.
"Don't push it" I say, turning to give him a cruel stare, he just reacts with a smirk, that same one from the elevator earlier.
"Oh, I'm pushing it?" he asks, feigning disbelief
"I'll kick you out of this damn car" is all I can think to say. He barely responds, he just lets out a soft chuckle. I want to ask 'what's so funny' but he speaks before I can get the words out.
"I can't believe you talk to your Mom about me" he continues to laugh. That's enough.
"You know what Reid, of course I have! I work with actual murderers on a daily basis and somehow you've been the only real source of friction in my life since I joined the BAU!" He stops giggling a little, but not entirely, he looks like he's making an effort to contain himself.
"I'm sorry. I guess I just never knew I got to you like that" he still finds the whole thing amusing, but I sure as hell don't.
"Directions, now" I demand, looking straight out the front windshield.
"Fine, keep going straight on this road for a while and I'll tell you when to turn" he says, finally playing nice.
The two of us drive silently for most of the journey, the radio playing softly in the background. Eventually we arrive outside his building, and it's nicer than I thought it would be. But I have no idea what I was really basing that on. For some reason it hadn't occurred to me that Dr. Reid lived in an actual home, I had pictured him sleeping upside down in a cave maybe, or in a cryogenic chamber with all the other life-like genius robots.
"So," he says, breaking the silence, "When is this wedding?"
"4 months from now, in and around" I respond, matter of factly. Spencer nods, taking it in.
"Alright, so I've got 4 months, in and around, to learn enough to convincingly pass as your loving boyfriend. Doesn't sound so difficult." he jokes, his tone harsh and sarcastic.
"Look Spencer, I know this is insane and honestly kind of stupid. But in all seriousness, you can back out right now if you're not on board with whatever this is. I'm telling you this is the last exit ramp." I try to say it with sincerity, giving him a genuine out if he's not comfortable with the weird set-up that Penelope pulled on us both. He thinks on it for a moment and shakes his head.
"So how are we gonna do this?" he asks, and I really thought he was going to back out. So I don't have an actual answer.
"Well, I uh, I haven't really given a plan much thought. How about I come over and start working on some of the stuff you want digitized like Garcia mentioned and I can use the time to give you the footnotes on my life?" I suggest, at least that would make it easier to knock things out all at once. Rather than having to spend even more of my free time with Reid than necessary. He looks content with the improvised plan.
"Alright, sounds good." he undoes his seatbelt and opens the door to hop out of the car before turning back to me, "Are you coming inside or what?"
— —
Next Chapter
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inkmemes · 3 years
Text
ryan  ross  lyric sentence  starters ↪  taken  from  various  songs  he’s  written,  lyrics  he’s  sung,  &  poetry  he’s  penned.  trigger  warnings  for  mentions  of  sex,  cheating,  drugs.  alter  as  you  see  fit  ♡
“so close …”
“i am composing a burlesque.”
“i'm all alone in an afterglow.”
“but we haven’t even met yet.”
“this war ain't gonna fix itself.”
“you can’t be lonely.”
“you're gonna have to dig your way out.”
“she was nowhere to be seen.”
“some people never change.”
“i know i broke your heart. mine is broken too.”
“i'm carving pumpkins.”
“i'm afraid that i may have faked it.”
“though you tried to cut me down it wasn’t deep enough.”
“this may call for a proper introduction.”
“i know it’s mad.”
“all the lights are on, but no one's home.”
“a year ago, i was dreaming of where i am now.”
“charm your way out.”
“we're all too small to talk to god.”
“you’re invited.”
“it's not so pleasant.”
“if you're going, then go.”
“i was suspicious and naive.”
“we're still so young, desperate for attention.”
“things have changed for me, and that's okay.”
“that's the spirit.”
“watch your mouth.”
“it started with a simple kiss.”
“don't you move.”
“what a wonderful caricature of intimacy.”
“we'll never go hungry.”
“praying for love in a lap dance and paying in naivety.”
“i lie in silence and feel like a fool.”
“grab your hat and fetch a camera.”
“your eyes are the size of the moon.”
“it's time for us to take a chance.”
“you should take this heart of mine.”
“how did i get here in the right from wrong?”
“i know it just doesn't feel like a night out.”
“it just made her more interesting.”
“she didn't even see me.”
“do you know what i mean?”
“i'm wrecking this evening already, and loving every minute of it.”
“i sure do make an easy target.”
“someone i love loves someone else.”
“don't bother waiting up.”
“don’t you go down.”
“you vanished when you'd gotten what you came here for.”
“would it be alright if we just sat and talked for a little while?”
"when did he get all confident?"
“you know it will always just be me.”
“i feel the same.”
“all my forgotten poems are a joke.”
“she'd wanna kiss you all the time.”
“i want a big celebration.”
“i'll ignore my heart and lie to the truth.”
“film the world before it happens.”
“that's just ridiculously odd.”
“it grows like fancy flowers.”
“he tried to save the calendar business.”
“i wonder if this was physical or if it could have been in my head.”
“i wouldn't be caught dead in this place.”
“you're pulling the trigger all wrong.”
“i saw you, i met you, i loved you.”
“so let me set you free.”
“i'm aware that you're scared of my heart, but it's here.”
“northern downpour sends its love.”
“you better put that pen to paper.”
“if you're gonna preach, for god sakes, preach with conviction.”
“haven't you heard that i'm the new cancer?”
“i know i broke your heart.”
“i am something velveteen.”
“we're locked inside.”
“just don't put your teeth on me.”
“when i’m good, i’m the baddest.”
“i’m up, looking for you now.”
“you can call me tonight.”
“it sure as hell ain't normal.”
“haven't you people ever heard of closing the goddamn door?!”
“we sure are in for a show tonight.”
“can't take the kid from the fight.”
“she's got me twisted in love.”
“i could've waited for the train to come.”
“you could love me if i knew how to lie.”
“if it were me, i'd write another song.”
“i fell from the heavens as a fetish.”
“i am renewed.”
“i hope that i've still got your help.”
“take a look at what you got me into.”
“we should feed our jewelry to the sea.”
“who could ask for any more?”
“i'm pouring out my heart for paper.”
“i need to leave you but i never will.”
“i forgot how to call you.”
“just stay where i can see you.”
“it's the greatest thing that's yet to have happened.”
“i’m doing my best.”
“she didn't choose this role.”
“life is not a fairytale.”
“our loneliness will keep us warm.”
“i don't mind taking a photograph.”
“you're gonna bend until it breaks.”
“maybe something in my blood could lift my spirits up.”
“i am out of my mind.”
“imagine knowing me.”
“i hope it's where i belong.”
“is it still me that makes you sweat?”
“your speech is slurred enough that you just might swallow your tongue.”
“i must be lucky to have you be the one who loves me.”
“but who could love me?”
“you clicked your heels and wished for me.”
“give me your attention.”
“you set the house on fire.”
"man, it feels good to feel this way."
“i've got more wit, a better kiss, a hotter touch, a better fuck then any boy you'll ever meet.”
“if the clouds were singing a song, i'd sing along. wouldn't you, too?”
“i know i've been wrong.”
“kissed a girl in the lobby ‘cause she asked so politely.”
“i can't get out by myself.”
“true love like ours is worth so much more than a diamond ring.”
“it never made her happy, 'cause she couldn't ever have me.”
“i do drunk dialing minus the alcohol.”
“i hope to god he was worth it.”
“he looked like he was barely hanging on.”
“why do i find myself outside at your window in the night?”
“i'd put a statue of myself upon the shelf.”
“they spill unfound from a pretty mouth.”
“ i'm going to need you to keep time.”
“you better back your shit up.”
“i think i owe it to you to try to be every hallucination you see in me.”
“you do this all the time."
“you're not what he's thinking of when he's with the other girl.”
things have changed for me.”
“this was no accident.”
“it's much better to face these kinds of things with a sense of poise and rationality.”
“just sit back and relax.”
“i, for one, won't stand for this.”
“we play by donner party rules at all times.”
“the glitter is gone.”
“boys will be boys.”
“you're all that's left for me.”
“my mind is all mixed up.”
“who knew that love was a dangerous drug?”
“'she couldn't ever have me.”
“isn't this exactly where you'd like me?”
“we can play normal for a few days.”
“i ground my teeth and you bite your tongue.”
“in case i lost my train of thought where was it that we last left off?”
“it seems i’m someone i've never met.”
“i think i made you up.”
“it never gave a damn about me.”
“perhaps, i was born with curiosity, the likes of those of old crows.”
“i'm cold, i'm hungry, but i'm bored.”
“i don't want no gifts.”
“the monster mash is playing.”
“do you really even live here?”
“this kind of thing always happens.”
“you were right. i was wrong, like i always am.”
“i missed your skin when you were east.”
“i feel as if i’m a figurine.”
“every night is the same.”
“ i'm sure i didn't ruin her.”
“i could have sworn we danced slow before.”
“i'm seated and sweating to a dance song on the club's pa.”
“it's nice to think that you are always wanted.”
“am i who you think about in bed?”
“you'll never know until you're there.”
“come on, this is screaming ‘photo op’.”
“you and i will always be ‘the dream’.”
“any practiced catholic would cross themselves upon entering.”
“it was a scream when we were young and dumb.”
“i know i should've never left.”
“who can i believe?”
“she always had her fangs at my jugular vein.”
“and a few more of your least favorite things.”
“in matters of opinion, love has gone insane.”
“if i go to hell will you come with me or just leave?”
“in the house of mirrors, ain't nothing keep you safe.”
“you know that you feel it too.”
“now we're making some progress.”
“god damn, i’d hate to see what i’d do under the influence.”
“i’m only reflecting your perfections.”
“just a first kiss to face the new year.”
“we’ll sit in silence.”
“you're a regular decorated emergency.”
“euphoria is a risk on the floor.”
“she could never win me.”
“love is all i'm really after.”
“have some composure,.”
“this was a therapeutic chain of events.”
“on the hotel floor, drinking warm champagne.”
“we need to talk.”
“every word gets you a step closer to hell.”
“let me help you please.”
“i never said i missed her when everybody kissed her.”
“now i know it's just a matter of time until i make her come.”
“if the world were ending, would you kiss me or just leave me?”
“forgive me if i’m not quite ready to give them to you.”
“i want to know what everyone knows.”
“you told me not to fear the dark.”
“the weather is impeccable.”
“i don't love you, i'm just passing the time.”
“i can't help but to hear an exchanging of words.”
“love is established philosophy.”
“but it might’ve been the calm that comes before the storm.”
“let's sing it like you mean it.”
“there's a devil in the corner.”
“there’s never anything good on tv.”
“everything goes according to plan.”
“i ran from love like it was laced.”
“i guess we're back to us.”
“we can't help ourselves.”
“i remember fuckin' in the falling rain.”
“i wasn't born to be a skeleton.”
“i couldn't quit her.”
“everything's gone missing.”
“we must reinvent love.”
“i know it's sad that i never gave a damn about the weather.”
“what do i know?”
"the best part about you was me."
“check the pocket of my leather jacket.”
“i am truly made of one million glowing constellations.”
“i mean, technically our marriage is saved.”
“she's a dangerous place.”
“even the truth is wrong sometimes.”
“was it god who chokes in these situations?”
“i feel like something on strings.”
“she couldn't ever catch me.”
“i try not to think about it and you.”
“i know it's just a matter of time.”
“i can't prove this makes any sense, but i sure hope that it does.”
“you know you should take it a day at a time.”
“i never said i’d leave the city.”
“it's the greatest thing you'd ever imagine.”
“i might have lost control.”
“i'm in a rut but still adored.”
“i'll keep my distance.”
“i need to take a vacation.”
“it's almost halloween.”
“is it a fairy tale?”
“well, this calls for a toast, so pour the champagne.”
“you can't stand it.”
“i'm exactly where you'd like me, you know.”
“we were always thick as thieves, you and me.”
“maybe i will, maybe i won’t.”
“all i want to do is dig a hole with you.”
“stop stalling.”
“it truly is enough to be alive and be in love.”
“i can't believe my eyes.”
“if i were to die tonight, would you cry, or deny my place in your life?”
“you are at the top of my lungs.”
“things do like to build up and fall apart at the same time for me.”
“why can't we just be friends?"
“i never know where the evening goes.”
“i want to go where everyone feels the same.”
“i fell in love again.”
“all i do is lie.”
“they asked for it.”
“was it all a dream?”
“all your wishes, they will sink like stones.”
“i wandered through the sunshine.”
“living even one minute without you is a moment i'd rather not have to live to see.”
“i want to go where everyone goes.”
“i think that i have had enough.”
“asked to be her husband; she already had one in prison.”
“true love is scarce.”
“somehow it still came undone.”
“things are shaping up to be pretty odd.”
“is ‘young’ a word for ‘dumb’; a word for ‘fun’?”
“said i'd let you keep it forever.”
“i never said i’d leave this town.”
“guess i'm going to a party.”
“damn, this is rough.”
“someone should have told her that pretty ain't a job.”
“something changed along the way.”
“i can't convince myself that you were good for more than cheap thrills.”
“now i’m the only one to blame.”
“let's not get selfish.”
“i hardly knew a thing about you.”
“give your feet a chance, they'll do all the thinking.”
“make a name for yourself.”
“it's useless searching in the cupboards.”
“i won't cut my beard and i won't change my hair.”
“it’s just the end of the world.”
“back to the room where it all began.”
“what was it that you put into my guts?”
“what a shame.”
“we'll leave the past out to pasture.”
“i know the world’s a broken bone, but melt your headaches, call it home.”
“everybody knows it but you.”
“it looks like the end of history as we know.”
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Arthur in Sins of the father...
Fyi, prepare for grammatical errors because beta reading just isnt my thing..by that i mean im lazy but yknow
I have to say, this is probably one of my favourite episodes ever. Not only is it actually well written, its focused on Arthur and how much he misses his mother and Bradley did an incredible job in this episode. 
I like how Arthur centric it is. Most episodes do end up revolving around Merlin (well no shit sherlock the show is called merlin) but having this episode focus on Arthurs struggles is a nice change and gives us a better view into his character as well as gives us a glimpse of what Arthur would be like without his fathers brainwashing.
What this episode highlights more than anything is how much Arthur wants to meet his mother. All his life he has been told to obey his father and not trust sorcerers and then the moment a sorceress mentions that she knew his mother Arthur goes against both of those things just to meet her. It doesnt matter what lengths he has to go to, he still does everything he can for that one conversation and i think that shows just how much he wants that maternal figure in his life, even if its for a few seconds. In all honesty, i would say he’s pretty desperate by this point. His father never mentions his mother or anything about her so so he cant even paint a picture of her in his brain which just makes him want to meet her more. In those moments when hes going after Morgause, we kind of see a different side of him, because for once in his life he has a chance to learn something about his mother. And you just cant blame him for being so desperate at this point. We dont see much of this, but Arthur grew up without that love every other child experiences, not even from his own father. Someone in his position cant spare time for feelings, and that key ideology that his father drilled into his head remained there from childhood onwards. Having this one chance to know something about the person his mother was, isnt something he could let himself miss.
Another thing he is bound to be feeling is guilt. The first instance is being the cause of his mothers death. Before he found out about the magic thing, it wouldve been so easy to jump to the conclusion that his birth caused is mothers death as she died in childbirth (or as he was told). But after he was told that he was born of magic, i think that while part of him blamed his father for not reading the fine print on the contract (i dont know who came up with that joke, it for sure wasnt me), he still blamed himself because the creation of his life is what took his mothers life away. Not only that, but at the end of the episode when Merlin told him that the illusion was fake, its clear enough that he feels guilty for almost killing his damn father, trusting a sorceress in the first place and also disobeying  his father. 
And back onto the whole thing about Arthur being desperate, he trusted a random woman (and i repeat, a sorceress) about knowing his mother. Not only that but he fully believed the illusion. Idk this just makes me so sad because he had that little spark of hope, not only about meeting his mother but also believing that not all sorcerers are evil. He didnt question these things, he went straight into them, which to me just again shows how desperate and hopeful he was at that point. 
Obviously all of that was completely crushed when he attempted to murder his father and then merlin told him that it was all a lie butttt lets backtrack a little. 
What i love about this episode more than anything is that is shows us that Arthur isnt completely brainwashed (using that word again because synonyms requre effort) by his father, he doesnt hang on every word that is told to him by Uther and all it takes to convince him that his father is wrong is one illusion.Him fighting with Uther and, even for that short period of time, believing that magic isnt evil, gives us an insight into the person he is. Hes not a bad person. He may be naive and ignorant because of the way he was brought up but  if he was educated properly as a child then he wouldnt agree with his father so much. The question everyone always asks is what would happen if merlin hadnt stepped in? i think its fair to say that Arthur wouldnt hate magic so much and maybe the whole golden age of albion would actually happen, but arthur would be miserable. i think thats the main thing that pushed merlin to lie again, because by that point in the series its obvious that he doesnt fight for magic, he fights for arthur. Like yeah arthur saying that magic is evil at the end of the episode does clerly crush merlin but i dont think he would be able to live with Arthur being so miserable and guilt ridden over killing his father. Either way, this is about arthur and not merlin (though ill probably write a paragraph on that sooner or later) so let me pose you the final question (that i will also answer because im here to spread my unwanted opinions).
Is this entire episode pointless for arthurs character development  or not. 
when i first asked myself this question, the obvious answer was yes, because arthur went full circle. from hating sorcery to still hating it in the end. But what i later considered is that even if he went full circle, there was a journey he had to endure. If anything, he hates sorcery even more now simply because he first hand witnessed a sorceress “lie” to him for her own gain and to try to destroy the kingdom. All those things his father taught him about sorcery are essentially happening, and the fact that he was lied to about a sensitive subject like his mother, would just make the situation worse for him.
The thing about arthur and sorcery, is that he is never actually able to find his own stance on it. People manipulate him back and forth, whether thats Uther, agravane, morgana, morgause, random magical enemies of camelot who think starting war and conflict will make arthur hate sorcery less, everyone manipulates him and drags him into different directions. He never makes that opinion himself. Idrk, this isnt even relevant but im on a roll of pointing out sad things so whoohooo
So what is my point? If this hadn't happened, maybe Arthur would have an easier time making his own judgement and stance on magic, but of course its bbc merlin and we cant have happy endings.
Welp hope you enjoyed this rollercoaster of emotions, have a lovely evening ..or day?
Either way. As always. I blame uther
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sweetchup · 3 years
Text
💌Acting Naive (?)💌
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Type: Shalnark x reader
Prompt: 14—Love potion + 7—Innocent/Corruption Kink
Author Note: Ah! @pastelbear12 I hope you like your request! I made sure it was really good for you! Especially as a fellow writer and Shalnark stan! Enjoy💕💕💕!!
(Valentine’s Day Masterlist)
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Blue, Pink, Purple, Green, Blue…
…Round, cylinder, was that a square?
You just couldn’t fathom all the potions this clan of witches had hidden in their basement. Hell, You bet your boss, Chrollo, didn’t even realize there was this much when he sent you guys out to steal them.
“Hey (y/n). How many do you exactly think there are?” Phinks questions, gobsmacked at the amount just as much as you are.  
“I don’t know…” You mumble out, looking around the room, “Honestly, Phinks… I’m not even sure how we are going to transport them out of here…”
“Wel—“ “Oh wow! That’s a lot more than expected.”
You flinch as a familiar happy go lucky voice is heard by the doorway. You thought the boss put him on another mission.
“Oh hey Shal!” Phinks shouts out, just as surprised as you were, “What are you doing here?”
“The boss wanted me to come join you guys since I finished gathering information for him early.” Shalnark explains, walking up to you two. However, even as Shalnark begins to chat with Phinks, you could still feel his eyes flicker to your figure ever so often.
It wasn’t that you hated Shalnark, you just… particularly didn’t like him. Mostly due to the fact, he didn’t give you the best impression when you showed up as a replacement number 4.
According to him, he didn’t understand why you should be the replacement member. You were “cute” and “naive”, not the best fit to replace the former number 4. He also thought your ability wouldn’t work well with the members you were designated to work with.
Honestly, You could have understood where he was coming from, all Shalnark wanted was to make sure the Troupe succeeded. But, you also believed he didn’t have to say all this in front of the whole group with you in the room. It embarrassed you so much, you nearly stormed out of there.
Naturally, of course, this event created a rift between you two. A general dislikeness to the other person.
“(Y/n),” Phinks suddenly calls out, catching your attention, “What did you think of the plan?”
“What plan?” You questioned. Slightly scowling as you see Shalnark’s lip slightly twitch up a little as Phink responds with a sigh. Cheeky Bastard…
“The plan is that I’m going to go grab Fei’s group to come help us. But, In the meantime, You and Shalnark can start taking count of the potions.” Phinks explains, already putting on his pharaoh helmet to get ready to leave.
“Wait. Wouldn’t it make more sense to grab Machi’s group? Feitan’s group is a traveling distance of 3 days away while Machi’s is only 1 day away.” You question out, thinking it was a logical conclusion. However, you were only met with Shalnark letting out a small chuckle. Almost as if what you said was a hilarious joke to him, “What’s so funny?”
“Well, I find it so funny that you are practically rushing to try to get the mission over with. What’s with that? Do you have some sort of date you have to get to for Valentine’s Day?” You slightly flinch as Shalnark happy expression turns much darker; mockingly in a way, “That’s pretty irresponsible of you. You do realize troupe activities come first? Oh wait… You likely don’t care because—“
“Shal,” Phinks barks out, stopping his friend from finishing his sentence. As Phinks comes closer to stand in front of you, you now notice Shalnark has gotten much closer to you than before, “Fighting or attacking troupe members isn’t allowed. You should know this.”
“What are you talking about? I wasn’t going to,” Shalnark responds with a lighthearted pout. However, you see a ever so slight twitch in his fingers that contradicts his previous statement. It seemed that he was practically just itching at the chance to stab you with his antenna.
Woah, that’s new….
Shalnark has never before given a hint that he hated you that much. Sure, he messed with your missions or denied helping you sometimes but even that was never enough that could possibly hurt or kill you.
However, that seemed to be the least of your worries right now. With Phinks being here, you could at least avoid Shalnark insults or possible attempts to attack you, especially since Phinks can step in to interfere as an older member as well. But if Phinks is still set with trying to leave to go grab Feitan’s group then… you are in big trouble.
“Hey Phinks. How about I just go grab Feitan’s group?” You ask cautiously as you interrupt their conversation (Well, more like bickering). About to explain your reasoning when Phinks cuts you off.
“No, neither of you two are going anywhere. This little feud between you two has escalated way too much. We are going to solve this problem right here and now.” Phinks grumbles out, sending a slight glare Shalnark's way to tell him not to even try to rebut. “Also Meaning, you two are going to allow each other to talk in order to solve this.”
After Phinks stops speaking, a thick silence settles over the room. Neither of you attempted to start to talk to the either and it seemed, from your perspective, that Shalnark wasn’t happy about being forced to participate in this bonding event at all. Well technically you shouldn’t judge as you weren’t happy about this either but, at the very least, you were willing to participate if it solved this petty problem of you two.
“Well…,” You started, breaking the thick silence, “I first wanna know what I did to get you to dislike me so much.”
You watch as Shalnark rolls his eyes in slight annoyance. He wasn’t planning on answering you but a hard swift slap to the back by Phinks makes him think twice about that decision.
“It’s that fake act you do.” Shalnark grumbles out, winching slightly as Phinks puts his hand up again, “I-I mean I don’t like how you act towards us.”
“Pardon?” You let out, accidently. Quite confused at what he was referring to. You’ve never acted a certain way specifically towards Shalnark or any of the members in that matter.
“Don’t act stupid—“ “Shal…” Phinks warns out, cutting Shalnark off. However instead of backing off like before, Shalnark continues.
“You know it. The one where you act all ‘I’m miss innocent and cute, I don’t know things~’. That stupid ass one.”
However instead of understanding what he was saying, you get even more confused. You will admit you can be a little naive at times but you’ve never acted or played into it.
“I still don’t get it. I don’t specifically act—“
“There it is! That.” Shalnark shouts out suddenly as he points his finger accusingly at you, taking a step forward also. “You just titled your head to the side slightly as if you were some confused puppy!”
You can’t help but feel heat suddenly bloom up to your face. You hadn’t even realized you did that sort of thing. God, you must have looked like a fool, an idiot—
“And there’s another one! You just tried to hide your face behind your hands.” Shalnark exclaims again, pulling your hands down and away from your face.
“H-hey. I-I don’t get why all this matt— Oof.”
Suddenly, as you take a step back to keep some space between you and Shalnark, You don’t realize how close you are to the shelves and hit your back hard against one. It creaks for a second and you think nothing of the sound. Well, nothing of it until something hard shatters on top of your head, dosing you in some sort of strange sticky liquid.
“Shit.” Phinks curse out, both his and Shalnark’s eyes blown out wide as they look at you. “(Y/n) are you okay?”
“Y-yeah. Just my head hurts a little…” You mumble out, pulling your hand away from your head to see it was covered in a little bit of blood. Uh oh…, that wasn’t good. That could only mean the potion got absorb into your bloodstream…
“Welp…, it seems like she’s going to die.” Shalnark says matter of factly, making you snap your head up to look at him. However, instead of yelling at him, your words suddenly felt stuck and clogged up in your throat. Ever so slowly as if a fog came over you, your mind starts to grow fuzzy, unable to make you think clearly. What was going on? Was the potion only now taking effect?
However, unaware of your current predicament, Phinks had started bickering with Shalnark. Angry at not only his bitterness towards you but also his unwillingness to help you out just as a fellow teammate.
“Shal, Dude. Her thing isn’t an act. The boss has been over this. She acts this way even towards Kortopi, who, I’m sure you can understand, wouldn’t benefit her in any way.”
“Well, she might be still trying to get on his good side so she—“
Phinks cuts Shalnark off by grabbing him by the collar. Pulling his friend so they were face to face, Phinks speaks again. This time in an extremely serious tone that tells Shalnark there isn’t going to be any more of these ‘if’s’ or ‘buts’ from out of him.
“Shal. Just stop. If she had the choice to attack or use one of us, she would have done it by now. Chrollo has allowed her to guard him alone more times than I can count, just to see if your suspicions were correct. And, in all those times, she didn’t show the slightest bit of desire to get information out of him or attempt to try to fight him. So, Cut. It. Out. This is not only hindering our mission no— Shit.“
Phinks suddenly let go of Shalnark to grab you, who from the corner of his vision was wobbling slightly.
“(Y/n). Sit down.” Phinks mumbles out as he helps you to the ground. As he crouches down to look at you, he can’t help but grow even more worried. You didn’t look good, at all.
So bad, he knew they needed to race to go find Shizuku right at that very moment. And it didn’t reassure him any better that he was the fastest one out of you three at the moment.
“Shal.” Phinks calls out, making Shalnark snap his head to him, “We need to go grab Shizuku from Machi’s group now and since I’m the fastest I need to go. Don’t give (y/n) a hard time and you better try to help.”
Without attempting to hear Shalnark’s response or possible rebuttal, Phinks has already raced out the door. Leaving Shalnark alone to try and take care of you. Something he honestly has never imagined doing.
“S-Shal…” You suddenly stutter out, breaking the man’s attention from staring at the door. Shit, you seriously didn’t look good.
“Yeah?” He questions, still apprehensive to try and help you as he crouched down. Shalnark can’t help but feel a shiver go up his spine as you looked up at him. A hand hiding the front of your mouth told him you were embarrassed. A thing he’s seen you do many times before when you weren’t sick.
Perhaps,... Phinks was correct and the cute things you do aren’t actually an act. You would have definitely dropped it by now with the horrible condition you were in.
“C-can…Can you kiss me?” You suddenly beg out, nearly making Shalnark have to do a double take.
“What…?” Shalnark lets out, unable to stop his surprise at what you were saying—suggesting—for him to do. Have you gone fucking insane?
“P-please.” You mumble out, your words slightly slurred and incoherent as you move yourself, “I’ll do anything.”
Shalnark goes to speak again to quickly deny your request but suddenly feels himself choke on his own words. Slowly, He had to put a hand up to his mouth to check his jaw hadn’t dropped and he hadn’t started drooling. Especially with the position you had moved to because, Holy shit…
With your arms stretched out forward, hands slightly opening and closing to urge him to come near, it looked like you were innocently begging him for a hug. Well, it would have been considered innocent if your legs weren’t opened up as well. With you wearing just a skirt, it gave him a clear view of your underwear that was already dripping in your arousal.
Oh, all the things he was imagining to do to you right now…
“S-see. I’ll do anything you want. I just need you close to me-e.” You beg out, seeing how Shalnark’s gaze was trained on your lower half. Your pleas clearly worked on Shalnark as he can feel himself starting to harden more in his pants. “I-I love you. I need you. Please—“
You can’t help but let out a little gasp as you are suddenly tugged forward by your ankles. The cold feeling of the cement basement ground leaks through your sweaty skin and clothes as you fall backwards, making you also unconsciously arch your back closer to Shalnark.
However, your attention towards the uncomfortable cold stinging the ground produced is short-lived as you feel one of Shalnark’s hands push your underwear away. You let out a small whine as Shalnark rubs your clit, the intense pleasure shooting like fireworks throughout your whole body. It was so much for you, almost painful in a way, making you quickly wiggle away from his touch.
“What’s wrong?” Shalnark mumbles out, his words hardly heard as he presses small wet kisses to the sensitive skin of your neck. Trying to hold himself back from completely and utterly wrecking you once he sees how you were helplessly trying to escape from him. Why did he hate your cuteness again?
“I-I’ve never been touched there,” You answer back, making Shalnark’s hand freeze in his ministrations, “Too much-h.”
“Have you ever been touched…?” Shalnark finally asks out after a long pause.
“N-no. Never.” You whine out, gasping as Shalnark snaps your soaked panties back into place. Using the back of his knuckles to rub the fabric against your sensitive folds, only to drag them down and off your ankles seconds later. You are confused as to why he doesn’t choose to throw them to the side until you hear a zipper being undone, “Shal…”
You can’t help but cross and rub your thighs together as you look down to the thing that was between his legs. It sounded childish but you couldn’t help but wonder how that was even supposed to fit inside you.
“(Y/n)... Come here...” Your attention snaps away from your thighs to Shalnark at his sudden call. Oh, so that's what he was using them for…
You gulp as you slowly crawl over to Shalnark, your eyes trained on his hand that was smothering the wetness of your panties onto his dick. As you sat in front of him, you can’t help but shakily reach one of your hands out. As your hand touches the warm flesh, you feel it twitch under your touch. You hesitate for a second before enveloping your hand around it. Unconsciously gulping as you realized you were unable to wrap your hand fully around the shaft due to how thick it was.
“G-good.” Shalnark moans out, his body slightly shaking as he attempts to keep his cool as you add your second hand. Fuck, Your hands were unimaginably soft, driving him insane as they worked their way around his length. And the pure fact you clearly had no idea what you were doing and was clumsy trying to give him pleasure, for some odd reason, turned him on even more.
Damn, you were so cute and innocent. Naive to the point you didn’t understand what he could possibly do to you at a moment's notice. How much he could easily just slip inside of you and turn you into his whiny little thing. Slobbering and drugged up on the pleasure he would continuously induce upon you. Making you beg for his every touch and word until your throat hurts. Begging for him to pump his load in you, to be his pretty little obedient toy.
“Fuck.” Shalnark murmurs out, catching you off guard as he pulls your hand off his length by your wrist. You let out a small whine in rebuttal, wanting to touch him more, until you see that ever so slight lustful haze over his eyes.
Happily you allowed the blonde man to move you around so you were positioned on your hands and knees; your back arched and butt stuck up in the air just for him to see. Honestly if he wasn’t craving to be inside you right now, he would have definitely taken a picture. The sight would have made a perfect new background for his home screen.
As he lines himself up at your entrance, he hears your breath suddenly hitch. Testing to see how you do, he slowly slips only the head of his length in. Woah. Instantly a shiver goes up his spine as he feels your walls squeeze and unsqueeze around his tip, your body struggling to accommodate the sudden intrusion.
He really wanted to go slow. After all, he truly felt bad for how he had been treating you before all this. But once you tilted your head to the side to look up at him with those doe-like eyes of yours, it was as if all his patience had suddenly snapped.
“Shal!” You yell out, your hands balled into fist as you had nothing to hold onto, to possibly ground yourself.
“It will feel g-good. I promise.” Shalnark mumbles out incoherently. Lost in pleasure as he continues to piston in and out of you. His top half eventually draping over yours as he attempts to get even deeper inside you; pressing small encouraging kisses to the back of your shoulder blades as you continued to take every inch of him.
Eventually, Shalnark was right. It was as if things suddenly clicked and everything felt just oh so good. You thought you were in heaven with the amount of pleasure you felt rushing through your body. Even though the man inducing these feelings upon you could hardly be considered a heavenly being. Then again, with what you have done, you weren't much better than him.
“Ah! R-Right there. Please, Please, please!” You cry out, feeling an even intenser flash of pleasure come upon you as he hits a specific spot. “S-Shal!”
It only took a couple more hits to that pleasurable spot to push you over the edge. Turning you into a dazed and drooling mess as you couldn’t stop yourself from whining out how good Shalnark made you feel and how you loved him ever so much.
“S-shit.” Shalnark groans out, his arms wrapping tightly around your waist as he suddenly feels a hot flash of pleasure come over him as well. His hips methodically grinding against your hole as he works his way through his high. Slightly overstimulating you in a way as his ever so warm white ropes of his cum start to fill you up. You never thought you would enjoy such a primal feeling of being filled up by someone’s cum. Honestly, you could have cummed again from just that alone.
As you feel Shalnark lean his forehead against your back to catch his breath, you slowly feel your mind becoming clearer. As if a strange fog has been lifted off of your senses. However, you honestly wished it stayed as everything that has happened while under that strange potion has suddenly come crashing down on you.
You didn’t know what to do, what to think. Actually, would anyone know what to do if they suddenly realized they had sex on Valentine’s Day with a teammate that hated their guts and couldn’t even stand being in the same room before now?
Then again you should have known that, even in a situation like this, Shalnark doesn’t exactly fall into the category of the average person.
“H-hey!” You choke out in surprise as you feel Shalnark suddenly lift one of your legs over his shoulder, forcing you to lay on your side as he starts to move his hips again. His dick already hardening back up to where it was before.
You wanted to rebut. Wanted to tell him to calm down and to talk this whole strange situation out. But, then again, why would you?
With him already plowing into you deeper than before, mixing and pushing his cum deeper inside you and creating this dangerous cocktail of pleasure. How could you possibly tell him to stop when you wanted to continue?
Especially when he had just referred to you as his good little girl.
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dreamescapeswriting · 3 years
Text
Stranger Danger ~ KTH [Request]
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WORD COUNT: 3.7K
PAIRING: Taehyung x Fem!Reader
GENRE: This takes place in 2013/2016 when the boys debuted and then three years later, just so no one is confused, strangers to lovers, online friends, cute, fluffy, 
A/N: I hope this is okay for you, I sort of left it like this so that you could come up with your own extension of it <3 
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Taehyung clicked through the in-game chat as he waited for the game to finish, he'd just died and was waiting to see if his team would still win without him. He'd been playing in the same lobby as someone with the name 'XxChickXx' for the last few hours and they were one of the best players on his time. They'd been a good teammate instead of just looking out for themselves, they helped Taehyung out as well and he was trying to find a way to contact them outside of the game so they could play together again, 
Tae: @XxChickXx game tomorrow? 
The small message was blinking on your screen as it notified you that someone mentioned you, you smiled softly before typing out a reply to the name you'd seen. 
XxChickXx: Sure! But add me on steam first? You attached the same name as your Gamertag and smiled to yourself as a friend request came through at the bottom of the screen as quickly as you sent the message. You exited out of the game then went onto steam ready to message whoever this 'Tae person was. He'd been playing great, one of the best players you'd had the pleasure of playing alongside with.
XxChickXx: Never had someone play so nicely before, most people are selfish & rude! Nice to meet you, I'm Y/n. 
Taehyung smiled brightly as the message came through to his screen, he checked the time. He had some time to talk to you before he had to go to practice so he began replying to you. Smiling brightly as he thought about making a new friend, he'd only met a couple online before and then he had the boys he was practising with but that was it really. He'd always been too shy to communicate with anyone else properly.
Tae: Most people are the worst, I'm Tae...Obviously, lovely to meet you XD
You laughed softly as you saw the message and then you began typing out to him again wanting to talk to him more before you headed out for your shift at the local cafe. There was an exciting feeling in your chest as you got the message from him, it was just something simple but it still had your heart racing.
XxChickXx: Tae? Short for anything? Or a nickname...I've never had one before, don't really like going by 'chick' that much. 
Taehyung chuckled to himself checking the time once again as he got up from the desk, installing the app onto his phone so he could keep texting you while he was on his walk to practice. The front door to the small apartment opened and Jimin walked over to the fridge, placing the small container of Kimchi and rice cakes inside. His grandmother was always making sure Taehyung was well taken care of since he'd moved out of his family home. Jimin always let himself into the apartment since he had the spare key for "emergencies" but who cares.
"What's got you smiling so much?" Jimin questioned as he walked up to his best friend, Taehyung physically jumped up. Almost dropping his phone onto the floor as Jimin scared him, he groaned as he began straightening out his clothes again.
"Nothing! Let yourself in why don't you?" His voice was seeping with sarcasm as he stuffed his phone into his pocket as he went to grab his keys to the apartment before they left for practice. Namjoon would have their heads on sticks if they were late again that week, they'd already been late five times.
"I always do, I brought rice cakes from Grandma," Jimin mumbled as they began heading out of the door together but Taehyung wasn't paying attention, his head was back in his phone as he made his way out of the apartment. He never wanted to stop talking to you and he'd barely even begun to get to know you, he could already tell there was a friendship blossoming between you. 
Tae: Maybe I can come up with one for you, favourite colours, fruit, food, place, and clothing item? 
A small frown appeared on your face as you stared at the message, what did any of those have to do with giving you a nickname? You smirked before typing out a response to him, getting a little flirty but it was all fun and games. It wasn't as if you knew one another or would ever actually meet so you just went for it. 
XxChickXx: Trying to find out where to take me for our first date Tae? ;) 
Tae: ...Maybe...You'll find out sooner or later, answer the questions 
Giggling to yourself you stepped into the elevator of your apartment building to see a couple together, both of them holding hands as they waited for you to step in. You brushed down the light pink diner dress you were wearing and took your phone out from the front pocket, this was going to be the only thing helping you get through the shift at the diner. 
XxChickXx: Hmm, you'll have to give me a second to think about it...What about yours though? 
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The text messages continued to exchange between you both for six months, you'd grown closer with time with exchanging messages. Learning lots about one another, coming up with some cute nicknames as well as gaming whenever you were both free. There was one thing you never did though, you would never video call or voice call since you were too anxious for that and Taehyung was far too shy. Neither of you minded though, you would text non-stop as often as you could with one another. Morning, noon and night. During your shifts, you would sneak a look at your phone while you hid it in your apron and Taehyung would check his phone whenever he got a break from dancing in the practice room. Jimin giving him nothing but small jokes and banter whenever he could and tonight was no different. Taehyung had been dying to get on his phone throughout the practice but Namjoon had taken it from him, placing it into the drawer so he couldn't be distracted by it.
"All I'm saying is you live your life on that phone and you don't even know what this girl looks like." You heard someone say as you served a table in your section, you finished pouring the coffee before making your way over. Smiling at the two boys in front of you who had taken some seats in your section, 
"Welcome, I'll be your server. Is there anything I can start you off with?" You questioned, looking at the blonde boy who flashed a pearly white smile at you and the brown curly-haired boy who was shyly smiling at you. Jimin glanced at your nametag and smiled showing off to Taehyung how easy it was to talk to someone outside of a phone screen.
"Hi Caroline, I'll take a coffee to start with and I think my friend needs a reality check." You laughed softly not wanting to get involved in their conversations and how he'd used the fake name on your tag. You'd left yours at home and instead of telling your boss you'd forgotten part of your uniform, you switched the tag for someone else's who wasn't there. Jimin smiled at you, trying to get you into the conversation some more. Customers would do it a lot whenever you would serve a table. Most people would stop talking but there were a select few customers who enjoyed bringing others into their conversations. 
"We don't serve that, can I interest him in something else?" You turned to the shy one who was now avoiding your gaze but nodded, looking over the drink options. 
"I'll just take some sparkling water," You hummed at him before leaving and going to get their drinks, smiling softly as you left their table. It would give them enough time to look over the food menu while you checked your phone to see if there was anything from Tae, he'd messaged saying he would reply slower than usual. That his job was making it harder for his replies to come through.
Tae: Finally out from work. Heading for something to eat and then home...Game later? You smiled at the small message on the screen, you hadn't been gaming for a while together so it would be nice to get home and do that after a long shift. Quickly writing out a response to him you glanced at your boss who was staring at you, hands on her hip but you ignored her quickly hitting send.
XxChickXx: Got an hour shift left, I'll message you as soon as I'm online. 
Walking back over to the table you set their drinks down and began taking their food order, while they were ordering you couldn't help but feel as though you knew one of them. The shy one just reminded you so much of Taehyung despite never having met him or heard his voice. There was a feeling in your chest as the shy one spoke to you or looked up at you, it made your heart leap. Just like whenever you got a message from Taehyung over the app. 
"I think she likes you," Jimin whispered to Taehyung as you walked over to the counter, helping a customer as they dropped their food all over the floor. 
"I'm not interested-" Not true, he'd been checking you out while you and Jimin weren't looking. Trying to ignore the thumping in his chest whenever you would smile at him or the tight feeling he would get in his chest whenever you would look into his eyes for longer than ten seconds at a time.
"No, because you're only interested in Y/n...How do you even know she's real? She could be some creep on the internet, ever thought of that? You never call or facetime...It's weird." Jimin mumbled as he took a huge gulp of his coffee, he was going to need it to get through the night. He was helping out at the shop with his grandma that afternoon/night to make up for going to practice today when he was supposed to have a shift.
"I know she's real, why would they keep up a fake profile for the last six months if she wasn't real?" Jimin rolled his eyes at how naive his friend was being, the internet was full of strangers with weird intentions so who knew what this Y/n person was after. Maybe she knew Taehyung was trying to make it in the industry and this was why she'd tried to contact him. But no one knew about that. No one was allowed to know they were working on debuting unless they were involved in the industry. 
"Just be careful...With our lives, we don't know who we'll be able to trust...Don't tell her who you are, don't give her personal information-"
"Jimin, I'm not an idiot," Taehyung grumbled as he got up from the table, paying for the food and drinks while leaving a big tip for the waitress that had been helping them out, glancing over at you as you began laughing softly to someone. He looked down at his phone as he walked out, messaging Y/n to let her know he was on his way back to his apartment and would be on soon. 
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There was always one last game and one last text but nothing had prepared you for losing contact with Tae. The messages had slowly begun to stop three years ago until the point neither of you could talk. You'd gotten busy with work and studies and Taehyung had debuted so he never had time to check his phone or game anymore. He hated it but he never once forgot about you. There was never a day that went by when he didn't think about what you could be doing now. 
"It's been three years and you still haven't stopped thinking about her...Why don't you try to contact her?" Namjoon questioned as he walked into Taehyung's dorm room. He'd noticed how glum Taehyung looked lately and decided to find out what was going on with his band member and friend. Of course, he knew of you. Jimin eventually told Namjoon what was going on with Taehyung during practices, he thought he had the right to know since he was the leader of the group. 
"I don't even know if they still-" Just as Taehyung was about to mention about you playing games anymore you logged onto the steam account. Sending a small notification tone to come through his computer speakers, 
"Oh." Taehyung began to blush as he saw your name still hadn't changed over the years, he stared at the screen for a couple of seconds. Debating messaging you or just inviting you to a random game, he didn't know if you would hate him for never replying to you again. 
June 13th 2013: 
XxChickXx: Hey...Game later? 
June 16th 2013:
XxChickXx: Game...? 
July 26th 2013: 
XxChickXx: Hope you're okay if I did something to piss you off I'm sorry. 
An invitation came through on the screen making you jump up as you looked over at the screen, you'd just moved into a new apartment building and it was the first time setting up your gaming PC in a couple of months. You'd never had the time before, between moving into the new apartment building and your job you'd not had the time but this week you had some time off. Choosing to get back into old habits. 
Tae Invited You To A Game. The message made you frown, three years after your last message to him he just randomly invited you to a game. No message to explain where he'd been. Not even a small emoticon to tell him if the invite was meant for you or not. 
XxChickXx: You okay? I haven't heard from you in a while... 
Taehyung smiled softly as he stared at the message, setting up the game as he waited for you to join in. Your character appeared next to his and he smiled, it had been so long since he'd done this it felt good to be relaxing again. 
Tae: I've been busy...A lot. Life is weird now...I'm sorry 
XxChickXx: Don't be, just glad to know you're not dead or something XD
He chuckled to himself and shook his head before looking over his shoulder, Namjoon was no longer in the room so he was going to do something he never thought he would be able to do. But being who he was was giving him a confidence boost, 
Tae: I'll explain it all...Maybe over a facetime call? Or I could meet him for something to eat? 
The thought of finally meeting up with him was both scary and exciting to you, you'd always been warned about stranger danger and never meeting up with someone you didn't know but, meeting Tae had been something you'd always wanted to do. You wanted to get to know him. 
XxChickXx: You're not just some creep right...Meet me at Daisy's Diner, booth six.
A public setting was better for you to meet him, it would be a lot easier to meet him somewhere public. The diner where you worked was perfect since everyone you knew would be there, watching out for you in case it was some creep or you were stood u.
Tae: I can be there in ten.
Stepping into the elevator you looked up to see the shy boy from your diner all those years ago, you looked back down at the floor not wanting to make it seem as though you were staring at him. He was dressed in a black leather jacket, some brown shorts with a hat and glasses on. 
Taehyung glanced at you before going back to his phone waiting for time to pass. He'd seen you around since you worked in the diner he and Jimin always frequented, you weren't in your uniform though. This time you were dressed in some black skinny jeans, a white blouse and you had a warm looking jacket on. He glanced down at himself, hiding his face from you as he pulled the hat down properly on his face. He didn't want the paparazzi to find him, they could be anywhere at any moment but that didn't stop him from wanting to go out. Nothing was going to stop him from finally getting to meet Y/N for the first time. 
The whole walk over Taehyung had been behind you, frowning whenever you didn't turn off somewhere and continued in the same direction, he didn't want it to seem as though he was following you when he wasn't. Then when you walked into the diner he thought maybe you'd started a shift but then if you had, you would surely be in your uniform. That was when you turned into a booth, the same one he'd arranged to meet Y/n in and it made him chuckle deeply at the thought of it all. After all these years he'd seen you many times, talked to you a lot without even knowing it. Talking to you, exchanging polite conversations even after all the years of not talking to "XxChickXx" he'd still been talking to you.
"Is this seat taken?" You slowly looked up at the shy boy, not wanting to hurt his feelings, this was the most he'd ever spoken to you without his friend there. 
"W-Well I'm waiting for -" Before you could say you were waiting for a friend he decided to cut you off politely,
"Tae? I'm assuming you're Y/n...XxChickXX?" You saw the blush spread across his face as he questioned you to make sure his intuition was right about you.
"Tae?! It's been you this whole time?!" You laughed loudly gaining the attention of a few people but he chuckled, sliding into the booth and sitting across from you so he could talk to you properly.
"I could say the same, I can't believe I never put it together. I know you had the same name but...I just figured it was a coincidence." He chuckled as he remembered seeing your name on your nametag before but it could always be a coincidence. The world was full of them. 
"Well, it's nice to finally meet you after all this time...I'm sorry for the radio silence." He whispered as he looked at you, wondering if he should tell you or not about his lifestyle, you knew they were singers since Jimin regularly told you about their jobs.
"So singing is why you've been so busy?" You questioned, turning to your boss and ordering your favourite along with Taehyung's since you knew it by heart. 
"Yeah, I never knew you moved into my apartment building though." He chuckled thinking back to living above you, the world was really trying to make you guys see that it was meant to be sooner or later. 
"I only moved in a few months ago, after all these years we've been so close." You laughed softly shaking your head as you thought about it. 
"Tell me about your singing? I want to hear everything in detail. Especially since we haven't spoken much in a while." He smiled, getting comfortable in the seat as he looked into your eyes wondering where to start with it all. 
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Your head was hanging low as you walked into the back entrance of your apartment building, Taehyung doing the same as you walked side by side laughing together about something he was telling you about Jimin. The whole night you'd spent together catching up and telling one another about your lives. It was late, later than Taehyung was supposed to be out since he was getting non-stop calls from Namjoon to tell him he wanted him back at the apartment since it was currently 1 am and they wanted to know what he was doing out so late.
"Jimin had a crush on you at one point, wouldn't stop going into the diner for hot chocolates." You laughed remembering Jimin coming into the diner about seven times a day just to buy the same drink from you whenever you were on a shift. 
"Is he over that? No offence to Jimin but he's not my type and I...I kind of like someone else." You whispered as he opened the door to the apartment building for you, looking around he lead you over to some of the seating they had in the main lobby. His heart sinking at the thought of you liking someone, someone that wasn't him. He knew he should be happy for you, after three years he couldn't expect you to like him...Or even still want to be friends with him. 
"You like someone?" He questioned trying to ignore the way his voice cracked just like his heart, felt as though it was doing when he had no real reason to feel this way.
"Yeah, I had a crush on him a while ago...It's growing more after finally meeting him." You whispered as you looked up into his eyes, hoping that he would get the obvious inkling that it was him you were referring to but by the sunken look on his face he hadn't gotten the hint.
"You." You whispered as you heard the elevator ding to let you know someone was coming, you glanced up and saw it was someone around Taehyung's age so you acted fast. Leaning close to Taehyung and placed a soft kiss on his cheek. 
"Call me when you're out of trouble." You teased him, kissing his cheek again before jumping into the elevator right as the boy got out. Watching you as you waved at a blushing Taehyung who couldn't wait to get back to his dorm room and call you. Ask you out on a real date...Right after he got out of the scolding session he could feel coming from Namjoon who was storming over to him with a look of both disappointment and happiness on his face. Namjoon was never able to stay long at him for long so he knew he could get out of this soon and be able to call you.
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Tagline: @lyoongx​ @mitzwinchester​ @fan-ati--c​ @kneel-begyourpardon​ @rjsmochii​ @taestannie​ @bisexualmess007​ @sw33tnight​ @innersooya​ @sweeneyblue1​
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