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be-ready-when-i-say-go · 1 year

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Backdoor Deal With The Devil--Part 3: Wreckening

Calum meets Eve in a bar. And it would be a normal story. However, Eve’s more than he bargained for, and so, the story’s never so simple.

Black!OC.

CW: Mentions of death--no graphic depictions. Overall series contains: Christian religious themes, mentions of death, and smut (18+ only).

Word Count: 24K+

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 4 (Coming Soon)

Enjoy my masterlist

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Calum gets it. When Eve steps in through the door eyes still glowing purple and the small trail of smoke behind her, he’s reminded of all that he had. He’s reminded that he did turn out like the rest. Is this what all the other lovers thought? When they’re older, hips achy and joints stiff, did all the lovers before him wish that they’d chosen something else? Do they wish they’d chosen her? He's second guessing all his choices, bringing her back to a point that she’s used to only having to come to only once at the end, when death is calling. Call it selfish, Calum doesn’t care. It’s Eve and it’s almost all he needs. Calum sighs, eyes slipping closer when her knuckles caress his cheek.

“What’s your secret?” Eve teases. He hasn’t aged much at all in a quick glance. Sure there’s more wrinkles and a bit more gray, but it’s still Calum.

“Oh,” Calum laughs, “my ex-wife said it was coconut oil, sunscreen, and minding my own business. But I’m not sure how right she was about the last one.”

“Sounds like a smart woman.” Sounds like me, she wants to say, but keeps it buried in her gut. The words are tight. They feel like bricks on her chest. But Eve drops her hand and takes in the room. Two boys, one girl and they wear echoes of Calum’s face. Eve doesn’t usually meet the children. But Eve usually doesn’t come back until the very end. She’s mindful more now than she was before what she is here for. Calum told her his kids would be there. He told her that he wanted to introduce them.

Eve hadn’t understood the gravity of the request until now, until she was staring back at the echoes of Calum’s face and seeing their mother in their faces too. Their mother. Eve exhales on the thought. They were children, but they’d already had a mother. Even if they did want to get to know her better, even if they liked her, Eve would be the other woman. Maybe she’d be given the title step mother graciously--but in a sense of later. Maybe they’d like her enough to entertain the thought. But they would always have had a mother. It would never be Eve.

“Kiri, Cailean, and Māra,” Calum starts introducing each of his children. “My little rascals,” he teases, throwing his arm over Kiri’s shoulder. He’s the eldest and has just barely surpassed Calum in height while Cailean is nearly 6 inches taller. Māra holds Eve’s gaze steady. The two--Eve and Māra--are roughly the same height.

Where Calum expects Eve to speak first, Māra beats her to it. “Nakahi.” It falls in a whisper.

Calum steps up. Māra’s not one to mince her word, having two older brothers means she’s had to not be so coy in order to get a word in edgewise. But the last thing Calum wants is animosity between them. But even if Māra isn’t happy about this kind of introduction the last thing she should be doing is this. Eve holds up her arm to pause him, the tips of her fingers hitting him in his sternum.

“I am,” Eve answers. If the eyes didn’t give it away the tongue would. If not the tongue, all Eve would have to do to prove herself as the snake would just to get close. But she doesn’t shy away from it now.

Eve’s easy acceptance of the insult stuns Māra. Why would Eve so easily tolerate it? Why would she agree? Just as quickly as the shock lands, it dissipates. Whatever Eve’s reasons are, they would not break Māra's resolve. “I don’t know why he’s asked you here. But we don’t need a mother.”

“I could never be your mother,” Eve returns. “I will never be your mother. I don’t want to replace her. I’m not going to do that.”

“Bullshit,” she hisses. “Why else would you show up? Hm? You want something.”

Eve only bows her head, hand dropping back to her side. Eve did want something--she wanted peace. She wanted her slice of heaven back. She’d always come back when Calum called her. But just because she would want that didn’t mean others would have to like it. “I’m sorry, Māra.” She turns her attention to Calum’s sons and gives a small smile. “Nice meeting you two. Your father’s twins.”

Cailean grins. “Much more spry than him though.”

Calum levels an unamused look that sends Cailean into a fit of laughter. He knows his father. It’s more annoyance that Calum is trying to convey than severe discipline. Eve’s laughter is soft at the moment. There’s still clear tension beneath the moment of levity. Eve gives her condolences for their late mother, before turning for the door. It’s not that Eve thinks it was a mistake to come. She knew the second Calum told her that his wife had died a few months back and that he wanted to try again with her; they'd be fighting the same battle before their divorce.

“You’re the reason she couldn’t look at me.”

The room freezes but only for a terse and long moment. Calum turns to Māra’s voice. Her chest is heaving but her chin looks unsteady. “Your mother loved you, Mar,” Calum pleads.

Calum needs her to know that. Even if he did do this, even if he asked about the name, knowing the reason behind it all, he never once wanted Māra to feel responsible for any of this. It was selfish. Calum wanted something of Eve after they split. It was less of a mutual choice and more a matter of timing. Calum had crept into his forties faster than he’d realized. The band had slowed down. He adored his time with Eve, but the truth is that their relationship was turning heads. Eve hadn’t, quite literally, aged a day since the start. People were starting to notice, starting to ask questions. Time had ruined them, much like Eve had predicted it would. And then it happened. Wedding bands sat on the dining room table. Eve asked such a simple question but it tipped the scales, “How much longer do you think you can fight fate?”

Māra’s name was all Calum trying to cope with his choices. Māra ducks the outreach of Calum’s touch.

From the stuttered apologies of Calum’s mouth, a clear voice rings out--Eve. “Your mother loves you. Present tense.” Eve’s steps are silent as she closes the distance, but the steps are swift. Eve gets in close. She’s not close enough to invade personal boundaries. But Māra can feel a bit of the heat wafting off Eve’s robes. The purple gaze swirls and for a moment Māra swears she sees her mother’s face in the ocean of purple and brown. “She will never stop loving you. Hate me, a lot of people do. But your mother could never stop loving you. You are not the burden of your mother’s foolishness. You are not responsible for what she did and did not do. You are not responsible for your father’s recklessness--naming you after the other woman, how stupid. But you are still and will always be your mother’s daughter. She will always love you.”

Calum ducks his head at the reprimand. He didn’t think Kelsie would actually agree, and when she had, he was elated. But he hadn’t thought about the consequences. He hadn’t realized what it would actually mean to Māra or to Kelsie.

“You-what?” Māra balks. She takes a half step back, trying to read Eve’s face--the furrowed brow, the hard set scowl. Eve looks nothing like what Māra expected her to look like. Eve looks nothing like Māra wanted Eve to look like. Māra wanted a nasty woman who always looked like she was sneering. But Eve’s face is soft--approachable in a way that Māra has to fight not to give into and just beyond that is clearly a woman who cares, deeply by the flare of her voice, like she’s angry Māra could ever think a thing like that.

“Did you expect me to be flattered that I’ve doomed you, Māra? It’s a good thing I’m only the Devil and not more. You weren’t supposed to get caught in these crosshairs. I can’t undo it. You can, of course if you want. But I’m not bringing you into this. I refuse. You are not the actions of your parents. You are not cursed. Only one of us needs to be and the last time I checked, I’m still fulfilling the position. Leave it to me. All of it.” Eve’s quirked eyebrow says everything that she does not. I am not an enemy. Do not confuse my confession and acceptance of responsibility for weakness. Leave it all with me, I am begging you, but do not take it out on your mother or your father.

Eve is nothing like Māra expected or wanted Eve to be. It would make it so much easier. Māra assumed Eve would take the chance to come slithering back in, play pretend in a family she’d only doomed from the start. But Eve is doing just the opposite.

Māra casts her look to the floor under the heat of Eve’s gaze. “It hurts.”

“It’s going to. It’s only been seven months since you lost her. It’s going to still hurt. And you’re going to be angry. But be angry at me. The thing about having this existence is that we are flawed. We make mistakes. You are not other people’s mistakes. You will make plenty of your own, but do not carry the burden of someone else’s.”

It feels so easy to tell Māra that and it feels so ironic--how Eve had literally become Lucifer’s mistake. But as the years slipped by and continued on, Eve started to consider the idea that maybe Lucifer’s death was her fault. She’d prayed for it. Maybe all she had been doing the entire time was becoming who she was supposed to be. Her identity--even in all the years Eve has lived--would always plague her. It would always perplex her. She would always have to wrestle with it. Good thing there is beauty in becoming. Eve’s journey never stopped.

Eve continues on, “You can be more than what they imagined for you. You can be more with anyone’s imagination for you. Doesn’t that sound so much better than being a shadow?” Eve’s smile is sad. Māra wonders how much of this is actually for her and how much is for Eve. Māra can only stare; she can only try and watch again for another glimpse of her mother’s face in Eve’s eyes. It never comes.

Eve is there, a tender but warm touch on Māra’s wrist and then Eve is gone. Her steps take her to the door and then out of it and the door clicks shut. Calum sighs and follows behind Māra as she heads for the stairs up to her room no doubt. “Māra, please, will you talk to me?”

Māra keeps on. Her father’s pleas are ringing in her ears, but her wrist tingles. Eve’s touch felt electric and she can’t get Eve’s speech out of her head. Doesn’t that sound so much better than being a shadow? What else would Māra even be if not a shadow? Her mother hadn’t been confident enough to push back on her name. Her father's been too in love with someone else to give her something of her own. Māra would always be a shadow. But the thing, the person, the entity that was supposed to be blocking her was stepping aside. Eve was telling Māra to be so much more than her.

Calum stops short just fast enough to avoid his nose being smacked into a bloody pulp by the strength of Māra’s slam. The lock clicks and he drops his head into the hollow wood. “Māra, please, I’m sorry,” Calum croaks. The tears are clearer now as they flood his vision. He’s not sure when the tears started but they fall freely now.

Calum only gives himself a few moments at Māra’s door before pushing off it. “I’ll be here when you’re ready to talk,” he calls out softly.

No response.

When Calum returns downstairs, Kiri and Cailean are settled onto the living room couch. Calum looks over to the table with the spread of food he’d prepared. “Eat however much you want, it doesn't matter. Make sure Māra eats too please when she comes down.”

Kiri nods at the instruction. “You hungry, Pops?”

Calum inhales hard, trying to keep more tears at bay. “I’m good, son. Thanks. Leave whatever’s left when you three are done. I’ll-I’ll clean it up, alright?”

“So, where are you headed?” Cailean asks, noticing the shuffle of Calum’s body near the hallway. “I mean--Eve, uh, made quite the scene. I-I sort of like her.”

“You just think she’s hot,” Kiri retorts. “But she could’ve been our mom, so gross.”

“Good thing she’s not. And if you’re saying that I think she’s hot, it means you think she was too.”

Kiri shoves his younger brother’s shoulders before grabbing a throw pillow to follow the shove with a blow. “Shut up.”

Calum lets the rough housing bring the levity it always does. But he’s also aware of his role as their father. “Alright, alright,” he calls out and the tussle, mostly a battle of the couch throws, settles swiftly. “Eat, please. That way you’ll be too tired to cause trouble.”

The boys laugh for a moment before pushing up. Cailean heads up the steps and Calum’s sure it’s to coax Māra out of her room. This is not what he expected when he asked Eve to stop by. But if Calum’s learned anything about life is that it never cooperates. The stairs carry the echoes of two sets of feets. Māra pointedly doesn’t look at Calum. There’s no fighting it. There’s nothing he can say to her to make it better and until she’s ready, he’d just be wasting time.

“I swear to Christ Cai, I will murder you,” Māra huffs and Calum watches as the two wrestle for the spoon in the macaroni and cheese. Cailean gives up easily and lets her get her scoops served first.

“Gotta make you work for it,” he returns.

Calum can only watch as they settle at their respective spots at the table. Kiri nods for Calum to take his seat too and Calum sighs. He wants to talk to Eve, ask her what the hell happened and what he should do. But his kids matter more than anything else. They’ve lost a mother; they shouldn’t lose him too. Calum fixes his plate, and settles down to complete the unit. His kids won’t lose him. As much as it hurts, to put Eve on the back burner again, to know that in the grand scheme of things she’d always understand because she’d have to, Calum knows that the consequence of not putting his children first would be a worser fate.

He goes to the table. Though he doesn’t actually eat until much later in the night, after they’ve all gone up to their rooms, Calum sits with his children like a father should.

The guest bedroom sheets are just as Calum left them from the morning, tucked and a little rumpled. It doesn’t matter since his mother’s no longer filling the space anymore. She left two weeks ago, after staying two months to help him as he tried to find some sort of grounding in this new phase of his life. For a moment, as Calum settles under the cover, he wonders if he’s just using Eve to fill the void he’s not ready to confront. But is it a crime? He’s always had someone for the better half of his life. Being alone is terrifying.

The night should go like all the others. Calum doesn’t sleep--not for long anyway. Instead, he lays of the night staring up at the ceiling. His eyes will get heavy somewhere around 1 in the morning and then they’ll crack open around 5 am, if he’s lucky of course. He’ll then lay again, watching more of the ceiling not change and then finally push up to get breakfast going and ensure all the kids who need to be at school in the morning are at school.

His sleep isn’t fitfull anymore, thankfully. He doesn’t dream of the crash anymore, seven months later. So when Calum shuts his eyes and floats into nothingness, he thinks tonight will be like all the rest of his nights lately. But behind the nothingness is red, a hint of blue too, but mostly red and some yellow. A muted coloring that is until a siren cuts in. And amongst the road--glass, blood, and metal is Kelsie.

Calum’s just behind the yellow tape. He wants to break the barrier, but he can’t. It won’t budge. That damned tape. “Kelsie, hold on!” he shouts.

None of the firefighters and first responders really seem to care. They walk around Kelsie and her flipped car. But they don’t move towards it. “Help her! Please!” Calum hollers. “My wife needs help!”

The barrier pushes back. Calum claws desperately at it. He thinks he might be able to get a leg up and if he can, he can get over. But the barrier pushes and pushes him back. It scrapes against the asphalt, right into his gut and he can’t get over it.

In the light, as his hands stretch out but get no real purchase to bring himself closer to Kelsie, his gold band glints. The red and yellow lights bounce off the band and it feels like hot iron. The flesh around the band stings. It creeps up his palm, dancing a fire line to his elbow. Calum hisses out at the sting and when the sharpness suprasses his elbow, a full on yell escapes his throat.

Calum forces the sheets off himself, a gasp filling his lungs with air that he hadn’t realized he’d lost. The room is dark around him. There’s a faint hum above him and he knows it’s Kiri’s room. The boy ran a fan at all times, even in winter. The house is as silent as it usually is at night. As Calum sits up, palm pushing into the mattress, he catches how damn the sheets are. He checks the chest of the t-shirt and sure enough he’s sweat through the cotton of it.

Calum swings his feet to the floor. The hardwood is cool under his toes, but what rocks him more are the tears slipping from his eyes. Calum covers his face with his palms and lets himself cry. He probably needed it anyway. No one would help her. He knows that’s not actually the case. The cops told him that paramedics spent several minutes performing CPR on Kelsie at the crash site. They wanted to get her breathing again before moving her on, but time was of the essence too. They tried the whole damn ambulance ride to resuscitate, but she was declared dead on arrival at the hospital.

Everyone tried to help her.

And yet, Calum still can’t shake the grip of grief. He should’ve told her he’d go. He should’ve just taken the cross city trip. He should’ve embraced the fucking traffic.

And it’s not Calum’s fault. But having someone to blame made more sense of the accident. Someone would have to be at fault. It didn’t feel right to blame the previous accident that had caused the pile up. Calum’s not sure why he can’t blame it. It never felt right. His sob rings back to Calum and he tries hard to swallow back down the sound. Calum wants to be past this stuff. He wants to be past the nightmares. Calum spends most of his waking time feeling like he can get through. He can get through his days most of the time. Calum can get through.

Yet now, it feels like it’s all crumbling.

Calum throws his head back, inhaling hard. The tears haven’t slowed, but he’s not choking on sobs anymore. It’s an improvement. He inhales once, deeply through his nose. It falls from his lips shaky. But he inhales again. “You couldn’t have saved her,” Calum tells himself.

But I wish I could’ve. I wish I could’ve been the one dead and not her.

Calum knows what it means when those thoughts slip in. It’s the fatigue. He doesn’t want to actually die. He just wants to end his suffering. He reaches forward, hand slapping down into the bedside table. The tap of his fingers causes his phone to light up and he gets a solid grip on the device before pulling it closer to him.

He enters his code and finds his text messages.

Eve’s thread is right near the top. I can be there. It’s all she said when Calum asked her to come by, even when he mentioned the kids being there. She hadn’t said anything since she left. No text. No call. Calum had intended to apologize one more time about Māra’s outburst, but then he had to be the dad. He sat down with his kids for dinner and he had to do the things sole surviving parents do even when they want to give in because they can’t give in. Or least, Calum wouldn’t give in.

His fingers hover over her name. Maybe he could call her. Eve would always understand. But he can’t bring himself to call her. It’s not her duty for this. Not that Eve would call him weak, but he hates the feeling that he’d reach out to her in such a state. All choices with her he wanted to make when his head was clear. They had too much history. Eve was too understanding. She was too resigned to her own fate as the other woman that she’d let herself become a punching bag.

But Calum clings, even as he clicks away from her name and thread to Ashton’s, Calum clings to the smile she gave him when he opened the door. She smiled at him like the sun had just dawned after days of clouds. He could use that smile to get him through the night.

“Hey, man, what’s up?” Ashton’s voice is thick, clearly he too had been asleep.

“Shit, I’m sorry,” Calum returns, realizing now he hadn’t texted Ashton before calling.

“No, no, you can call whenever. How’d it go with Eve?”

“Didn’t,” Calum sighs.

“Did she not show? I thought--”

“Timing’s just not right,” Calum returns. It’s easier this way in the lie, but the truth follows soon after. “Mar sort of snapped. Eve left and I’ve got nightmares coming back out of the blue.”

“A triple threat of a day,” Ashton laughs.

“Something like that,” Calum exhales.

“Talk to me. Cry it out. Whatever you need, mate. I’m here.”

Calum does--his mouth opens again and the words fall like they’ve been backed up in a dam and Ashton just puts a crack in the wall.

**********

Kiri and Cailean announce their departure for the last of the summer party a month and some change after the failed attempt to meet Eve. Calum’d asked Eve to give them more time and she, thankfully, understood. Now, at the door of the house Calum’s with his own practiced speech, which used to be his and his wife’s. “Stick to an alcohol of one type, text you if we’re going to be staying the night, check that the condoms aren’t expired,” Cailean and Kiri echoes.

“Bless our mother for always cringing at the last part,” Cailean tacts on.

Calum pats each of them on the shoulder. “You carry the tradition well.”

“Let’s hope we don’t run into the devil ourselves,” Cailean teases. His fascination with Eve hasn’t exactly waned in the time, but Calum takes the jokes in stride.

Calum knows they’re harmless, but still he has to give Cailean a run for his words. “She’ll smite you,” Calum laughs, knocking gently at the snapback on Cailean’s head. He wears it backward at any and every turn. It is a miracle that any formal events in the last two years haven’t been a battle. Calum watches the two boys, three years apart, slip through the front door. Their laughter echoes behind the closed door.

The drawers from the kitchen rattle as they open and close. Calum pads over and peeks his head to see Māra fixing a bowl of ice cream. “Do you want some?” she asks, back turned to Calum.

“I’m okay, sweetpea. Thanks for asking.”

“Of course,” she returns.

It's an improvement. She’d gone nearly a week and a half where she only spoke to Calum when he initiated her. He’d tried to take it in stride and held together his peace and sanity thinking of what Kelsie had to remind him of all the time, She’s slow to crack. Just keep a steady presence. And boy had Kelsie been right about Māra more than ever before.

“Still good for back to school shopping tomorrow?” Calum asks.

“Sounds good. These boots I want just went on sale.”

“The white platform ones?”

She nods, turning now with the bowl to her chest. “With the pink hearts.”

“Are they in the cart already?” Calum leans into the wall, keeping a soft smile on his face.

“Maybe,” Māra sings out.

“Use my card when you check out.”

“It’s 109 with shipping,” Māra states, grinning wide for a moment. She’s waiting. The boots were originally 170 and she prayed that she could find a coupon to get them under 100 so that Calum would be more reasonable about the compromise. While the boots had a major slash in price, shipping still pushed her over the threshold.

“You better wear them. Every single day,” Calum laughs, nodding over his shoulder.

“Dad,” she reprimands

“At least once a week.”

“Fair.” With the first spoonful consumed, Māra leaves herself pressed into the counter. “I shouldn’t have said that stuff to Eve. It wasn’t fair.”

“Do you feel cursed?” Calum asks in return. He could tell her she’s right. He could tell her that she was out of line, but she already knows that. The more important thing right now is the why. Why did Māra feel the need to say that in the first place? Could Calum keep her from feeling that way again in the future?

Māra shrugs. In and of itself, the action is an answer. “I feel like Mom loved me. She didn’t treat me any different. But she knew, didn’t she? About Eve?”

Calum tries to not make his children responsible for his own emotions. They’re not free therapy but they were watchful kids. They noticed even if Calum didn’t want them too. “Your mom did know about Eve.” A neutral response. It answers Māra’s question but doesn’t shift blame or responsibility.

“Why? Why’d you do it?”

“Eve wasn’t wrong when she called me reckless. I thought I was clever with the reasons I told her mother. But your mother was more clever than I.”

Māra hums around a second spoonful of her ice cream. The silence hangs between them. Calum can feel it pressing against his shoulders. But he can’t press Māra. The words bashes against his teeth and then his lips are parting before he really realizes. “You’re not just what I thought I could hang onto of Eve. You’re my daughter. Who makes fashion choices that give me heart attacks and who can tussle with the boys and not be afraid of a scratch. You’re brilliant in maths and science. You’re going to find the cure for some rare disease, kid. I know you will. You are more than a name.”

“Cancer--I’m going to find the cure for cancer,” Māra corrects.

“You’re going to find the cure for cancer,” Calum reiterates.

Her spoon clinks against the side of the bowl, ringing in their ears long after the sounds disappeared from the air. “What-What happened to Eve? Like when she told me to let her be the only cursed one and that it sounded so much better to be more than a shadow--did something happen? To her?”

Calum exhales. He could answer that. But he shouldn’t. It’s not his story to tell. Calum pushes off the wall and puts the container of ice cream back into the freezer before leaning into the counter next to Māra. “If you want, you can ask her yourself. But I can’t answer that for her. It’s her story to tell.”

“Yeah, let’s just summon the devil right quick,” Māra snorts, holding her bowl out--a small gesture to see if Calum was sure about the lack of ice cream on his part.

Calum gently nudges her shoulder, “We can. I have her number.”

The text is easy to send--Māra wants a chat when you’re free. Let me know. The waiting is the hard part. Māra clings to his arm, peering at the phone every few seconds to see the reply come in. She’d huff about Calum for specifying it was her desire to speak with Eve, but she lets go of all the annoyance when Calum’s phone shakes.

I’ll be there in half an hour, baring Death has no more surprise plans.

“Who’s Death?” Māra asks.

“A long standing friend,” Calum laughs.

“Like the Grim Reaper?” Calum nods at the question. Māra continues on, “What the hell did you get yourself into, Dad? You’re just in the midst of all these darn supernatural beings. Were you in love with Death too?”

Playfully, Calum gets Māra into a headlock before kissing her forehead. “I had a wild youth.”

“Apparently.” She tugs herself free from Calum’s hold and huffs when her hair stands up straight from the friction of his t-shirt. Calum’s quick to smooth down the curls. Māra picks up her bowl again. The bottom portion of the bowl is a sugary milk that she can slurp up with just a quick tilt while the rest remains solid. The minutes feel like they’re crawling. Eventually Calum leads both of them to the kitchen table, settling in next to each other.

“She’ll be here. Or let us know if she’s going to be late,” Calum reassures when he notices Māra’s glance back to his phone. “Besides, it still gives you time to complete that purchase.”

“Shoes! You’re right!” Māra scurries up to her room to grab her laptop. Calum finds his wallet and they meet back at the dining room table. He’s wary of the platform shoes, but Māra begs and pleads that she’ll be okay, so he slides her the card to complete the purchase. She’s swift with typing in the numbers and his name. They’re not too high of a heel and they are thick so they should provide more stability--something Calum had learned from Kelsie in their shopping escapades.

Her laptop dings two minutes later. “Ordered. Thanks, Dad.”

“You’re welcome, Mar.”

A clink of the spoon hitting the bowl echoes throughout the room. “If you loved Eve so much, why did you marry Mom?”

“I love your mother.” It’s easy to say that. Because he does love Kelsie. He also loves Eve. Calum never attempted to qualify it or quantify the love he has for Kelsie. Inevitably, it would always be an unfair comparison when put up against the level he has for Eve. They were both types of love and they were both different. “It’s not a switch--love. And when you get older than you are now, it’ll make more sense. But sometimes we can’t be together forever with who we love. Things happen. People want different things.”

“Love sounds awful, ya know?”

“I used to think the same thing, kid.” Calum confesses. They stare out of the windows that make up the walls of the side of the house. It’s a cloudy night--thanks to some earlier storm so there’s a bit of a haze to the night. “Then I met Eve.”

It should be easy. However, Eve’s hands shake for just a moment before she knocks. The fog helps her for the moment though she wished the porch light didn’t feel so much like a spotlight. Calum would surely be angry with her. She’d call him reckless and his dead wife foolish. Certainly those remarks wouldn’t be overlooked. She doesn’t regret them--just wishes she’d handled it all a bit more delicately. She’d told Māra to hate her, let her be the cursed one like she already was. Enough damage, Eve was previously certain that she’d hear very little again.

The door opens and Calum smiles at her. “Hi, Eve.”

Her heart races just a little. The grays are sprinkled throughout the black and he still looks good--lived in due to his age, but still handsome as ever. “Hi, Calum,” she breathes in return.

“C’mon. Come in.” He opens the door wider and Eve steps up and into the house.

Māra’s gaze is locked in and Eve gives a small wave. She can only hope the jeans and peasant blouse don’t feel overly dramatic as she follows behind Calum. He’d given her no hint as to what the conversation would be about and Eve could not read minds even if she could manipulate dreams.

“Hi, Māra,” Eve states the closer she gets. “A little birdie told me you wanted to chat?”

Māra nods. “If such a bird is approximately 6’1 in height.”

Eve takes a once over of Calum’s stature. “I’d give him six feet even. He’s getting older; gravity kicks in.”

Calum scoffs at the jab but still offers a drink. Eve politely declines and settles opposite of Māra at the table. “I like your nails,” Māra offers, noticing the points at the end of Eve’s fingers painted a deep green.

“Thank you. I like your hair.”

“Thanks.” Then there is only silence. Calum hovers in the kitchen paused in his work to pour water though no one wanted it. Eve wants to press figure out what exactly has brought this meeting on but Māra is only a child. It takes time.

“Dad says you and him go way back? And that you know The Grim Reaper or something?”

Eve lets a small smile across her lips. “He and I do go way back. And I do know Death. We’re colleagues if you could ever imagine such a thing.”

“He stole you for a week once,” Calum retorts, setting two glasses down onto the table. “Nearly gave me a heart attack.”

“I apologized for that.”

“You did,” Calum concedes, returning back to the kitchen for his own glass.

“You’re such a softie,” Māra huffs. “Key, Cai, and I can never get away with just an apology.”

“You’re not supposed to,” Calum returns. “It’s in the parental handbook. You get to see a copy once you become a parent.”

Eve only watches, a soft exhale of laughter falling from her. This is what she wanted for Calum. It would never be with her. Maybe it’s her own selfishness. Maybe it truly is love. In all the centuries Eve has lived she has never once been able to settle on which one it actually is. But it’s a heartwarming scene and Calum settles to Māra’s right and teases her. Perhaps it only matters in retrospect that it has a label. Eve had plenty of time to ponder all the things of the past.

“Anyways, Dad won’t tell me what happened to you. Like what you meant about not being a shadow. I don’t know. I’m angry sometimes because I know about who I was named after and it feels like my fault? Maybe?”

Calum squeezes an arm around Māra’s shoulder. “It’s not your fault, sweetpea. It’s mine. You can always change it.”

Māra only nods but she looks at Eve. Maybe the name wouldn’t be so bad if Māra knew more. But it would all be a sign from the universe. It is a big maybe. Though the possibility is never zero. There’s just Māra’s gut—the voice that says there is something more to know before passing any last judgements.

Eve nods, gaze falling down to her fingers. “I apologize for my comments last week. Reckless and foolish were harsh words to use about your mother and father.”

“I mean kind of right though,” Māra laughs, elbowing her father. Calum concedes with only a shrug.

Easier than anticipated but Eve still wanted to right her wrongs. The apology is still sincere and Eve can only hope it’s received as such. “Still, there were kinder words to use.”

“Tell me.” The words fall softly and though it sounds like it should be a demand the lilt in Māra’s voice makes it sound so much more like a question.

“What do you want to know?” Eve questions in return.

“Everything.”

“Do you know who I am?” The word what lingers just behind the word who but Eve doesn’t utter it. She is not a thing--a long time coming, the revelation. Eve is a being--mystical and supernatural, but still a being. She is not a thing.

“Yes.”

“You know what I do?”

Māra gives a shrug. “Vaguely. Keep the pits of Hell wide open. Flames. Bad people--like I said vaguely.”

“When I caused the death of my late husband, Lucifer, I was left to take over his mantle. I was not always the Devil. I was a Saint. I fell because I was married to Lucifer when he fell. I hated it. I hated Lucifer. I wanted nothing more than to go back into the Kingdom. But years passed. Hatred turned into anger. Praying for divorce or separation turned into praying for death. Prayers receive answers, I found out. Lucifer was killed because of my prayers. I became the Devil and as if immortality is not enough, every lover I have is mortal. They’ll pass on and I will see them through to the other side and they will get a story of completion. I get the same story over and over again. A new love, mourning death, a new love, and death yet again.”

“So my dad?” The question doesn’t quite get finished but Eve nods at it. “Oh. But he’s not dead? So…where does my mom fit into this?”

It’s a sad smile--through and through-- Eve’s smile is sad and wobbly as her chin shivers. “Perhaps I have gotten too comfortable with my fate. I can’t bear children. I expect all my lovers to want that--most have. Those who haven’t cared for children aren’t prepared to handle them growing and aging while I’m stuck here, like this.” Eve gives a dismissive wave over herself.

“Did you want to leave?” Māra turns to Calum for the question. From what she could gather, he’d known all about this. And he still left.

“Sweetpea,” Calum starts. It’s all he says but everything he needs to say is in the nickname: You don’t need to worry about that. That’s not your battle. It’s mine. That’s my choice.

“No. I know it’s really not my business why you made those choices and I know that you never want us to feel like we’re responsible for them. But please, this one time, just answer me straight. Did you want to leave Eve?”

“I love Eve and I love Kelsie and I have always loved them both--in similar and in different ways. I knew I wanted kids. I knew that with my job Eve’s immortality would cause problems. I knew I had to make a choice.” Calum knows he’s dodging the question. He tried not to think about his own desires for a long time. He tried not to think about all the other options he could’ve had. Stepping behind the music scenes, going into some sort of semi retirement, hiding too if necessary. He’d briefly considered going with Eve--if she could somehow bring him to Hell. But there was something in his gut that never vocalized the thought. Maybe it’s because Eve’s always seemed content with letting Calum always be human.

“Bullshit.”

Eve snorts at Māra’s retort and looks to Calum for his reaction. She is sure that there’s two ways he’ll respond.

“Māra,” Calum returns firmly. “You may not like what I’m saying but--”

“No,” Māra interrupts. “No, Dad. I’m calling you out. We all have choices to make. We always do. You chose to bring Eve back into your life right now. You chose to introduce us. You had a reason for it.”

As much as Calum was proud of how he’d reared his children, he wishes in this moment he hadn’t done such a stellar job as right now. He sighs. “Just know you asked. I never wanted to leave Eve. But if I didn’t, if we didn’t leave the relationship when we had, I wouldn’t have Kiri, or Cailean, or you. I wouldn’t have met Kelsie. I wouldn’t know what it means to love in such soul crushing ways for my children and my late wife. Kelsie and I loved unselfishly. Because we had to. We had Kiri so early on it wasn’t about us all the time though we had our time. Then it was Cailean. Then you. We loved each other the way I want all three of you to love with a partner.”

Eve can see the tears in Māra’s eyes--the way her eyes flicker over his face, like she doesn’t understand. Though she wants to save Calum, she’s worried about crossing a line. She is not replacing nor could she ever replace Kelsie. She’d told Māra that’s not what she would ever do. So Eve flicks her gaze around and spots a napkin tray on the table. She grabs a couple and gingerly puts them into Māra’s palm.

“I love Eve selfishly,” Calum returns. “In the ways like when you’re young and you see something you just have to have or you think you’re going to die and the world’s going to end. It’s not bad, not all the time. It’s a love that can mature, can grow and really shape into something beautiful. I want it all. And even in my old age, I forget I can’t. I couldn’t then--it’s why we divorced when we did. It’s why I made sure to give everything I could to Kelsie and you three. Because I knew, I knew I couldn’t have it all. But it doesn’t mean I didn’t want it.”

“Might as well call desire a poison,” Eve states.

“It doesn’t have to be,” Calum corrects, looking up at Eve through his lashes. “Desire does not have to be fatal.”

“When you are me, it is.”

He scoffs. Eve would always be Eve--she’d always carry the curse like a badge. But he knows what’s inside of her. He knows how to make her cry with laughter. He knows how to make her feel as close to human as she can get. “The martyr act got old thirty odd years ago, Eve.”

It’s not quite a scold, but Eve knows the tone. It’s firm and comes from deeper in Calum’s chest than normal. She only nods at his steady gaze. Calum turns back to Māra. In the back of his mind he’s chanting a prayer--that she gets it, that she’ll let this go. “We all grieve in different ways,” Calum starts, staring down at his daughter. Her eyes are glassy. “I’m sorry to rush this, to act like you’re still not learning how to deal with the loss of your mother.”

“What-what if I want what you and Eve have? Had? I don’t know. But something that consumes.”

Calum sighs, eyes shutting at the sentence. “Sweetpea, no. This isn’t to prove anything to you.”

“No, you said you want me to have a love like you and Mom’s. But Mom’s--you love her. I know you did. Or do. Anyone with firing brain cells can see that. You were at PTA meetings with her. You corralled us when she was sick so she could get some sleep. You’d call ahead to restaurants to make sure her allergy wouldn’t be a problem. You love Mom. It’s clear. But what if I don’t want mundane love?”

“It comes with a price. What you want is not easy,” Calum answers. The response falls without hesitation off his tongue.

“Eve, you have to let me in,” Calum returns. He’s gripping the side of the kitchen counter, trying to keep his voice from rising. Yelling does not solve problems. Yelling only creates a shouting match--and boy, are they good at those.

“I am. I am letting you in.”

“Where’s Duke?”

“With the dog sitter--I had to go.”

“Go where?”

“You know where.”

Calum’s fingers curl around and he’s quick to fix his fist back to an open palm. “No, I don’t. I don’t know where you had to go. Because the dog sitter didn’t say that in their text.”

“I left a note,” Eve counters.

Calum snatches the note off the counter. “Cal--Had business to attend to. Texted the dog sitter and Duke’s with her. I may be gone for a while. Love you.”

Eve stands cooly at the entrance of the kitchen. She’d left a note. She’d gotten Duke to the sitter’s house like they agreed when she had to leave for business and wouldn’t be back quickly.

“That’s the note you left?” Calum questions tossing the single sheet of paper back onto the counter. “How am I supposed to know where you’ve gone?”

“You know where I’m going.”

“You’re always gone. Always,” Calum returns. He was used to him having to leave. He was supposed to leave. It was a part of his job.

“Calum, I have to leave to conduct my business.” Eve bites back the retort that he knows she has to leave. It’s not going to make the situation any better. She takes a step closer--not daring to touch Calum, but to let him know that she is here now.

“Why? Why do you have to leave? Stay here with me. Give up your title. Stay here with me, please.” Calum hates how quickly the facade crumbles. He wanted to be pissed. He wanted to have a screaming match with her to prove to both of them that as much as they were supposed to be destined for each other it was already just a thin veil of toxicity. Calum had seen and been a part of his fair share of toxic relationships. He was over them. Sometimes he wished either it was a bad dream he’d wake up from or Eve really was playing games with his heart. But he can’t do that. The truth of the matter is that he loves her too damn much to want to be consistently at odds with her.

“I’m sorry I leave all the time.”

Calum steps out to the side, out of Eve’s path. “Say you’re going to stay with me. I know you can give it up. Don’t you want to be with me?”

“I do want to be with you.” Eve’s heart thunders in her chest. He’s going to ask it--the one question no one else had dared ask because she never really let them ask. “What can I do to show to you that I want to be with you?”

“You can give it up--stop playing in His game.”

“Is-is there something else?” Eve questions. She nearly pleads that he demands her to do anything else.

A new fire lights behind Calum’s gaze and where sadness had rained on the initial flare of anger her question lights a new spark. He closes the distance and though he’s breathing is heavy, his hold on her face is gentle. His eyes flicker over her face, taking in the color of her eyes, the moles scattered about her face. A gorgeous sight, Calum knows all too well. But there’s something new to be unearthed. He watches her blinks and the lower lip wobbles. There--there it is. “You don’t know who you are without it, do you?”

Eve shakes her head in his grasp. The tears prickle behind her eye. Her stomach turns a bit with disgust. “No, I don’t. I’ve been like this for so long. I barely remember the before.”

“Let me show you. I don’t know who you were before, but I know you right now. Let me show who you can be if you just give it up.”

It’s all so simple to him. Eve knows it’s not. She can give it up. But the second she does, she’s on a ticking time bomb. She won’t have long. And even if she did beg and plead, her renouncement of her faith all those years ago would surely be used against her. But she wants to give it to Calum--everything he’s desired. But she can’t give it all to him.

“Please, Calum.”

It is a full sentence. And he only sighs and drops his hands from her cheeks. She’s not going to give it up. He wanted her to, but she didn’t. He nods. “Can-can we just take a time out?” Calum asks. He’s not done with this conversation yet. But he can feel his own throat closing up--too many emotions squeezing at his chest.

“Yeah, yeah,” Eve nods, wiping her cheeks. He’ll go to the music room. She’ll go to the garden. It’s where they always go.

As Eve watches Calum shuffling towards the back of the house, her chest aches. He hadn’t gotten what she’d asked. She wanted him to show her who she is. Perhaps, it is for the better that he doesn't. But she wishes, as she settles onto the bench in the middle of her hostas, that Calum heard what she was asking for in between the lines, to please show her who she really is.

Perhaps, she’d never be good at letting him in in ways he’d recognize.

Calum wishes he could pour his memories into Māra’s brain. He can’t. All he has are his actions and his words. “You can have a much easier life,” he pleads. The rest of the sentence doesn’t fall, but it bashes against his teeth, if you just listened to me for once.

Māra gives a nod, knowing the look in her father’s eyes--the one where he looks like he’s worried and it bleeds into every ounce of his face. It makes her stomach hurt because she knows it’s from such a genuine place. The moment hangs between the three of them like a curtain billowing in a breeze. They can all see the fluttering but do nothing to stop it. So there it hangs and hangs, and hangs.

“What about you?” Māra asks. Eve just barely recognizes the question is for her before Māra continues on, “Did you want Dad to leave? Do you want him back?”

“Thorough, I see,” Eve grins before exhaling deeply. “I wanted the story I always knew; I wanted the comfort of what is inevitable. I filed the notion for divorce after bringing it up to your father. It was easier to let something go if I was cutting the rope. But as selfish as I was, I-I know the frustrations I caused. I want him to be happy. And I want to only hurt him twice. I’ve gotten my first strike. I hope this is my last time.”

“Eve?” Calum questions, reaching across the table. She slides her hands down into her lap. “No-you don’t. No.” Calum remarks. It’s the same thing she did when she asked about the divorce. “You don’t get to leave me and expect me to just be okay with it. Not again. You can’t keep making choices for me. You won’t. I told you you can’t keep playing the martyr.”

“Is it playing if no one is pretending?”

“I should’ve popped popcorn instead of having ice cream,” Māra whispers.

It’s the sound of her voice that brings Calum back to earth. “I’m not a child,” he adds softly to Eve. “Let’s talk about it--together-- anyone decides anything.”

It’s not supposed to go like this. It’s not. Eve’s not supposed to get a shot like this. It never happens. She has her lovers for a few fleeting years and then they want more. They leave her. She lets them. They call her on death beds. She comes--if any of them called, she came. Which is why she is here. Because Calum called her. He asked her to come here. But she’s not supposed to get another stretch with him. It would never work.

It’s on the tip of her tongue. It’s burning into the enamel of her teeth, You’re getting older. I am standing still. Eve only nods, hands still in her lap. “Okay.” There are very moments of peace. But Eve’s simple response--the one word--brings a stillness to the room yet again. She drifts her gaze to Māra, who quickly looks away. “You should definitely pop some popcorn,” Eve teases.

Māra snorts at the jab. “That was supposed to be an inside thought.”

“Whoops,” Eve laughs. “Is-is there anything else you want to know, Māra?”

So enveloped in the exchange of her father and Eve, Māra hadn’t thought to contemplate further. She is curious about what Eve does exactly and she’s curious if Eve really means all the things she said, but so far, Eve felt honest. Māra obviously only had her father to back up anything Eve had said. But her gut is settled--Eve is an honest woman, blunt sometimes but always honest.

Māra shakes her head. “Not right now. But thank you. For coming here and answering the questions I did have. If-if I have more, is it okay for me to get your number from Dad?”

Eve nods. “If you want me to answer anything else, please get my number from him. Or better yet,” Eve pauses and she spies a pen clearly left on the table from some other task and grabs a napkin from the holder. She scribbles down the ten digits. “I may be slow to answer sometimes. I’m not always…within service, you could say. But I will see it--the call or the text eventually. Texts are better for me, but do whatever you prefer.”

Māra takes the napkin with a nod. “Thank you. I’ll let you know it’s me when I text or call.” She goes to go exit, halfway turned to the table, but she thanks Eve one last time for coming by and with one over the shoulder glance to Calum--to which he gives a nod--Māra picks up her laptop and moves back to stairs. She takes them two at a time to the top and it’s quiet in the kitchen until her door closes.

“We spent how many years together? And you still want to act like I’m unable to fathom the consequences of my actions,” Calum states with a little bit of vile in his tone. He pushes up from the table and rinses the bowl Māra left behind so it doesn’t get sticky. As he pauses at the sink, Calum exhales. “And we’re doing it--again. Going around the same wheel.”

Eve’s slow as she pushes up from the table. Her steps are soft on the hardwood floor. Where she’d previously held back, Eve slips one hand onto Calum’s side. He’s a little softer than she remembers, of course. They were in the height of his youth. Of course as the years trail on, the weight’s settled more and more. But Eve likes it--she likes how his flesh molds around her hold. “You weren’t. I wasn’t expecting you to call when you did. I had you pegged like the others. You’d grieve your wife, the mother of your children, until the end and only then when you were scared that you’d be leaving this earth next you’d have one of your children call out for me.”

Calum nearly whimpers at Eve’s touch. Her touch had always been so sure and confident. She’d always touched him like she dared him to question it and Calum never did. He couldn’t bring himself to. “It’s lonely. After we agreed to end things, I had to learn how to be alone. I-call me stupid or reckless, I don’t want to be alone again. I only get one life and goddamn, I’m not about to spend it regretting something.”

Eve presses into his flesh. It’s an action to beckon Calum to face her. But he doesn’t. He clutches the edges of the counter. So Eve slides her second arm up and over his waist, her fingers thread on his stomach. “I’m sorry,” she whispers into his clothed back.

Her voice makes his spine shiver and Calum drops his head on his neck. Her kiss is warm on his spine and Calum’s throat is tight. He’s missed this--missed someone touching him so gently. He’s missed having someone.

He’s missed Eve.

“We can work something out,” Calum whispers. His eyes sting with the tears finally free to shed. “The kids--it’s going to take a minute I know. But I need you for me.” Calum pushes up and Eve gives him space to face her. She wipes at the tears on his cheeks. He holds her waist--and God, she’s still the same in his arms.

“Do you remember when--oh, it’s been years now-- but you asked me to give this all up?” Calum nods at Eve’s question. “And you figured out the truth--I don’t know who I am if I’m not the Devil. But you begged--you begged me to show me who I was beneath it all. That ring a bell?”

Calum remembers it clearly. “Sounds like us. And you essentially shot down the idea.”

Eve shakes her head. “No. I was telling you to show me who I am. But I didn’t have the right words. I didn’t know how to say it. I was agreeing with you--something I’m sure is a shock.”

Calum’s laughter rumbles through his chest. The lines on his face are a little deeper as he smiles with the action. “You were reluctant to admit that sometimes.”

“I still don’t know what I’m really meant to do outside of this mantle. But I know I don’t want to give it up. I like this, I’ve learned. It’s shitty work sometimes--dealing with some of the nastiest folks on this planet. But I walk Earth a lot more now than before. I can help them before it’s too late. I get to make a change and I’m everything He’s said to despise. I like knitting. Can you believe that? Me, knitting,” Eve laughs at the confession.

“Please tell me you’re knitting more than socks,” Calum teases.

“Maybe I am,” Eve retorts.

“What else are you doing then? Are you still raising hell for poor folks in bars with your feminine wiles?”

Eve chuckles, but shakes her head. “No, not right now.” In the future, she’d have to start over with someone new. She’d have to put herself in just the right spot to be spotted again. She’d spend months on the hunt, but she doesn’t have to do that right now. “See--that’s the problem.”

“What is?” Calum tucks some of her hair behind her ear. Only on the right side though. She liked leaving the left out. His fingers are soft as they trail down the skin of her jaw. “What’s the problem?”

It’s so easy to give in. When Calum’s holding her close and she can smell the scent of his fading cologne and detergent, Eve’s weak. He’s her achilles heel. Eve’s glad only the two of them know that. She’s glad for the moment she can melt away and drop her head to his chest. Calum cradles the back of her head, the black strands, slipping easily through his fingers. He rests his cheek on the top of her head. God, even her shampoo is the same, Calum realizes.

“The problem is that I-I don’t know how to do this, being me outside of the mantle all the time. Will you help me?”

The question makes the air in Calum’s throat catch--he had not expected Eve to give in so easily after she’d just stated that she was willing and wanted to leave. He cranks his head up and hers back to get a solid look at her. “Please tell me you mean that.”

It only takes three words for Calum’s chest to spasm in relief. “I mean it.”

*************************

They don’t meet outside of Calum’s house or property initially. At first, it’s in the dead of the night when Calum’s sure the kids are all asleep or they are all out when Eve comes over. It starts innocently at first--a conjuring of a list with all the things Eve thought she might like but hadn’t really given herself enough space to try--needle punching, skydiving, brewing beer. It’s a silly list. Calum laughs as he fixes them tea or something heavier for the night as Eve considers the youth she never had. She contemplates comics and boardgames.

But the touches linger longer. It gets easier to flirt like they used to. The goodbye kisses turn into greeting kisses. The greeting kisses turn into just because kisses. The act of falling in love a second time feels faster and slower than the first time. But they’re okay with it. It lands them all here, Eve standing at the coffee pot. She liked having a cup of something warm in her hands—a grounding sensation though it might seem counterintuitive. Calum holds her from behind, pressing gentle kisses over her neck. She giggles at the sensation of the beard he’s let grow in scratch the skin of her neck.

“I’m going to spill this creamer if you don’t quit it,” Eve returns through her laughter.

“I won’t tell Cailean.” The voice startles both Eve and Calum. Calum pulls away, reacting as if fire sparked suddenly around Eve and Eve’s grip slips on the small cup of creamer. It lands on the tile floor of the kitchen with a wet thud. “He’d be crushed,” Kiri smiles. He leans into the arch of the doorway.

“It’s not--” Calum starts.

Kiri shakes his head interrupting his father’s explanation. “It surely looks like it and I hate to intrude, but I’d like a cup if it’s not decaf.”

“Sure,” Eve nods. “Yeah.” She spins back to the pot and takes the mug she’d just poured for herself and offers it up. “Clearly, I haven’t added anything yet to it. It’s all over the floor. How many creamers?”

“None,” Kiri returns, stepping in to take the extended mug. “Sorry again.”

“No worries,” Eve states and starts to clean up the creamer she dropped. It’s a miracle that it was only the small travel cups Calum had and not a whole bottle. Kiri grins at his father as he exits. Calum huffs and gently swats at his arm. The two share a quick tuft of laughter and Calum starts to help Eve.

“I got it,” she returns. “Save your knees.”

“I know I’m sixty, but God, I’m not that old.”

“Could’ve fooled me.”

The pair work in relative silence but Eve feels the shiver crawling up her back. Her head pops up just as a roll of thunder sounds overhead. It’s a sound Calum knows all too well. He gets the handful of the paper town he had in his hand into the trash, which were drying the wet spot Eve made to keep the floor from getting sticky, before standing. Eve’s up not too soon after him. Calum takes her forearm into his grip. His thumb strokes her skin. “Be safe, okay?”

“I will be.”

“Text me when you’re done, back on this side, please.”

Eve nods. “I will.” She wants to let Calum have this tender moment, but she’s aware that Cailean and Māra could also be awake. She also doesn’t want to wait too long and have another crack of thunder to startle them. She stretches up, capturing Calum’s lip in a gentle kiss, and then she’s rushing from the kitchen, out the front door. The door closes softly. Calum straightens out the rest of the kitchen and knows he has to retire soon lest he be in for a reckoning in the morning.

In the morning, a text is already waiting for Calum 2:31 AM--Safe, but this one is nasty. Will be gone for a few days.

I understand. Take care of yourself out there. Calum lets the text send and does his best not to wait for a response. Whether she left immediately or whether she wanted for a response can’t stop Calum from the things he has to do. He’s got breakfast to get sorted. Cailean and Māra both need rides to school. Kiri’s in his first year of community college and can get to and from the house and classes with the second car. Cailean’s working on his license, but the responsibility was still Calum’s to shoulder for now. Even if the nights are filled with Eve and his ghost of his youth, the days are still filled with fatherhood.

It shocks Calum that he’s not shocked when three days later his phone shakes again and it’s Eve. Calum had anticipated the days would worry him sick, but instead all he did was hope for her safety in the stillness. Perhaps his worry is overshadowed by the ever marching sadness of his own. Three days to come and he would’ve been celebrating yet another wedding anniversary. Kelsie would no doubt want to try some new cookie recipe. It would fail because Calum would be too distracted. Kelsie would laugh. They would be happy. Calum’s own goal is just to make it through each day. That’s all he needed to do.

He only wanted to know when she came back she’d bug him undoubtedly about something else to knit or do. It could offer distraction. It would remind Calum that there is still love for him. His flame with Eve was comfortable but the years and love with Kelsie are not easily let go either. Besides, Eve’s absence is not a sign of anything other than duty. Eve didn’t know the dates and she couldn’t neglect her job either. Eve’s absence is just as filling as her presence. Calum wants her close, but can let her go. Just as he wants when she is on his side, he wants when she is not, but there’s less selfish desire.

Back. Let me know when you’re free. Please.

Calum goes to start his reply that he’ll be free in the afternoon, but before his fingers can hit the first keys, Māra and Cailean start a shouting match. Calum slips his phone into his back pocket and slides out from the kitchen. “Whoa, do I need to referee here?” he offers, noticing between them the last bites of their breakfast. Both of them have a grip on the ends of the banana. He’s left out one banana, some cut up strawberries mixed in with blueberries and an orange. Cailean almost always goes for the banana whereas Māra tends to go orange.

“I had it first,” Māra barks over to Cailean.

Calum, noticing the glint on his boy’s face, steps in closer, one hand resting on Cailean’s shoulder. Though he’s always respectful, and will do what is necessary to help, he’s quick when he’s angry to make quips that he knows are hurtful. “Son, please don’t. There’s a whole bunch in the kitchen.”

Cailean lets go of the fruit but doesn’t tear his gaze away from Māra. “Stop meddling,” he hisses in return.

Calum raises a brow. What had Māra been meddling in? “Māra,” Calum offers sternly. It’s a silent command to explain herself and she knows it.

Māra sighs. “You like her, you idiot. I’m just trying to help.”

Cailean huffs, arms tossed up into the air. “You--Just stay out of it! Please.”

“But I’m right, aren’t I?” Māra presses on.

“Just because you are doesn’t mean you should get involved. Yvette--she’s untouchable to me, alright? The last thing she needs is my little sister--a freshman to my juniority-- approaching her. We have a week and half left of this project and you’ve just made the whole thing awkward. And to add to that, she’s already talking to Leonard. They’ve been talking since the summer.”

Calum knows Leonard--a kid Cailean has been friends with since they met on the playground at the seesaws. He remembers the smile on Cailean’s face when he made a friend on the second day of class that wasn’t his brother. The two of them could do damage. Cailean joked around, but always had brakes. Leonard did not. Once Calum got a call from the skate shop in the shopping center just a mile up the road about Cailean and Leonard sitting in the back office. The thing is that Cailean wouldn’t snitch on Leonard in the moment but when they got off with a stern warning thanks to Cailean’s sincere apology for the package of socks, Cailean folded in the car. He told Calum that he’d been trying to talk Leonard out of lifting the skate socks. And their argument had gotten them caught in the first place. It caused a rift but the boys recovered fast. Leonard is all gas. Cailean has the brakes.

Even though Māra wouldn’t have that information, she would know how close Cailean and Leonard are. Talking to the girl your best friend likes that you like too would be a definite no. “Oh,” she states.

“Yeah, yeah, exactly that.”

“I thought--”

“I know what you thought, Mar. Sometimes you don’t know everything. They call it pining for a reason.”

Māra holds out the banana. “I’m sorry Cailean. I shouldn’t have gotten involved, not without talking to you first. Do you want me to talk to Leonard?”

Cailean’s eyes widen so much that they nearly take over his forehead. If it weren’t for the true terror in his face, it might be funny. “No. Absolutely not. I’ll do the damage control.”

Māra only nods. Her third apology is softer than the first two and Cailean waves for her to keep the fruit. He settles on the orange instead and as quickly as the explosion occurred, the debris settles and clears. Calum retreats, going back to the last of the dishes he had while he prepped breakfast then gets them off to school. Calum heads straight over to the studio after he sees off, intending to finalize the last few takes he’d left from the day before.

By the time he thinks to check his phone again, noon has crept into 1 PM and he realizes his response to Eve had never been drafted, let alone sent. Calum pushes away from the turkey sub on the table. He hadn’t even meant to leave her without a response for so long. The rest of the guys watch him as he goes. Ashton reaches over and wraps the sandwich backup in case he’s gone for longer than a moment.

Calum holds the phone to his ear, listening to the ringing and ringing. There’s some static but as he steps outside into the bright day the sound clears up. He prays he hasn’t missed her totally. Though Eve had gotten good at communicating about when she had to go even if it’s back to back, there were a few times when she hadn’t been able to shoot off that quick text. Right on the fifth ring, when Calum’s set to hang up the call and respond with a text, the line connects.

“Eve speaking.” Her voice cracks just a little on the phrase.

“Eve? It’s me, Calum. I say this with love you should like shit.”

“Hey. Yeah, it was a particularly rough one.”

The truth about rough ones is that they happen all the time. Eve’s used to rough ones. But this one feels different than the others. She’d gotten there with Death, right at the start. Normally, a lot of what she did was after the fact. Death had already carried them to her or to Heaven. They’d already made some peace with their fate. But Death had gotten the call right as they were supposed to be wrapping up. So Eve went too--it made sense. She would go with Death. They’d handle whomever they needed and Eve would carry on with her life, like she’s always done.

But cradling a child--attempting to soothe them as their parents teetered on the edge between clinging to life and falling into death was not something Eve had been prepared for. She’s seen vile humans, pissed that their actions had consequences. She’s had to take parents who thought their actions to their children wouldn’t warrant a visit and condemnation to her. She’d handled a lot of evil-pure and simple evil. But she hadn’t quite had to hold a child in years, not like this. Eve hadn’t had to soothe a baby--months old--fearful of its new fate, not understanding what had gone on.

And all Eve had were lies. All she could tell him was that he was okay. He wasn’t hurt anymore. He had nothing to cry about. His parents would love him forever. He was okay. All Eve could tell him were lies. She felt her only saving grace was that he’d never fully understand. He’d never understand that they were lies. He’d find a new normal. He’d have his parents when it was their time, but in the interim he’d have something free of pain. He’d adapt.

But how does a child comprehend that? A silver lining that will only ever take time and his time, a baby months old, has run out.

“I-” Eve’s voice breaks again.

“Where are you? I can get you,” Calum offers. His chest constricts. It is not good. Whatever it is is definitely not good.

“I’m actually at the back of your studio. When you called, I, uh, realized where you were.” Eve doesn’t dare say that she went looking. She searched for Calum in the hopes he’d answer her text soon and found him initially with his kids. So she waited. She watched him come to the studio. Her fingers ached from how tightly she held her phone, a silent prayer and begging that he just looked at his phone for longer than a second, that he went back to their text messages and saw she was asking for him. She didn’t want to push. Her heart ached for him though. She wanted nothing more than comfort and from Calum alone. But she wouldn't intrude.

Calum pushes off the wall. He slips the phone onto his shoulder and jogs back into the building. “Stay where you are. Are you in the alley?”

“Yes.” It crackles as Eve answers and Calum jogs past the kitchen. The shout of his name doesn’t stop him as he works down the hallway. He passes the elevators, side doors, and windows. Calum continues on, listening to the sniffle of Eve through the receiver. Eve’s never quite sounded like this. She managed to keep those things separate. She somehow managed to see horrors on a daily basis and never quite let it fully seep through. Until now.

Now something is cracking in Eve and she can’t stop it. Calum’s heart beats in his chest, he can feel it against his ribs. He’s not sure if he’s running to stop the dam from bursting or if he’s going to be cleaning up the waters seeping through. But he realizes as the gray doors fill out in front of him, it doesn’t matter which one he gets. He’s going to be there no matter what. Calum slams his palms into the silver handle, the harsh click echoes through the speakers and as the doors swing open, Eve fills out in front of him.

He manages just barely to get his phone down from his shoulder and into his back pocket. Her eyes are a twinge red. Her cheeks are mostly clear, but it’s clear fresh tears are on her lower lash line.

“Can I just have a hug?” Eve asks.

Calum pulls her into the building, arms wrapping around her. Her face presses into his chest and she inhales, so deeply it lifts Calum’s arms with the action. “Hey, I’m here. It’s alright. It’s okay.”

There it is again--the same lie she had to tell. The sob falls from her chest, muffled by the firmness of his chest and the t-shirt.

Everything Calum can think to do, a soothing hand along her spine, kisses to the crown of her head, a gentle hum and reassurances, don’t fully cut through the tears. Eve doesn’t shake. It’s not a crumble. It doesn’t seem like she’s trying to stop it. It’s like she only needs a reason to let it out, to let it go. So Eve stands, voice cracking as everything she’d been biting back breaks free, and she clings to Calum, but she never crumbles.

“C’mon, Eve, just breathe for me.” After a few minutes of the wails turning into hiccups, Calum knows he’s got to get Eve to regulate her breathing. If not, she’ll start dry heaving and though he’s dealt with his fair share of vomit, he does not want to have to deal with it. He inhales deeply through his nose and lets it all out through his mouth. He inhales once more to blow it all out and on the third breath, Eve joins in. He continues with the inhales and exhales until the grip Eve has on his shirt loosens.

“I-I’m sorry,” she whispers.

“You don’t have to be sorry,” Calum returns. He presses his cheek to the top of her head. The thump of his own heart still feels rapid—like he can’t quite come down from the edge he’d pulled Eve from. So he squeezes, letting her own deep inhales brush against his chest. Perhaps that too will remind him that they’re both okay now.

“I-Admittedly, I did sort of follow you. I kept hoping you’d see my text again.”

The confession is only a whisper but Calum hears it, a quick snort leaving his nose. “You should’ve just called, babe.”

“You seemed busy.”

It’s not the time to remark that this is the same behavior they went around in circles on last time. Instead, Calum gently urges her head back. Her cheeks are tear stained. Her eyes are swollen and red. “Being busy and taking a few minutes to answer a call are not mutually exclusive. When you tell me you need me, I can help. If you don’t, I won’t know for certain.”

“I’m doing it again. I know. I just—call it a self fulfilling prophecy. I’m used to being able to handle this kind of stuff.”

Calum strokes a thumb along the apple of her left cheek. “Do you want to talk about it?”

“He-,” her chin wobbles in Calum’s palm. Eve inhales and it steadies her a bit. “He was just a baby. 4 maybe 5 months old. I held him. He cried. But of course he did. Car accident. He wanted his parents but they weren’t...” The silence says what Eve doesn’t. Calum nods that he understands. The baby’s parents weren’t dead yet. He couldn’t have them in the way that he might’ve wanted.

Eve continues on at the confirmation.“Not then anyway. And he wouldn’t come with me but I was the only one with hands free so I held him. Nothing I did soothed him. And I lied to him. I lied to a little baby because what do you tell them? When they are watching but can’t understand what do you tell them?”

Calum blinks. Part of him assumed that with time she’d gotten used to this. But the more he listens the more he thinks no one with one iota of feeling could ever get used to children being involved. Adults were one thing—fully formed beings with abilities hopefully to understand right from wrong. But children—babies especially—were different. They didn’t know. They couldn’t. They were still learning. “And you don’t normally interfere at that point do you?”

Eve shakes her head. “No. Either they come to me or if they’re being stubborn I’ll get them but in the midst when fates are hanging on by threads, no.”

Calum can only think of pulling her in. He seals another kiss to the top of her head. “I’m sorry you went through that. You did what you thought was best and I think that’s brave in and of itself.”

Eve inhales deeply. Her nostrils are filled with a scent distinctly Calum--his detergent which she’s pretty sure is the Gain he’s used for years, the faint catch of nicotine, and his cologne. The mixture invades her nose, clinging to the inches inside her nostrils. “Sorry,” Eve mutters again into his chest. “For not just texting you again.”

“Next time, you’ll get it next time,” Calum offers. It’s not dismissive. He means it like a promise, like there will be a next time. Like he wants there to be a next time. He cradles the back of her head, fingers threading ever so slightly between the strands. “What are you doing for the rest of the day?”

“I-When do you have to get back to your kids?”

Calum laughs, mostly an exhale through his nose. His lips find the crown of her head above before he coaxes her gently out from his chest. Her face is still red and a little puffy. One hand finds her cheek and Calum strokes his thumb over the warm flesh. “You don’t have to be polite, Eve. What are you doing for the rest of the day?”

“I--” The stern lift of Calum’s brow freezes Eve. “Nothing that I know of, of course.”

“The guys and I are mostly just writing. Though I think one piece might need another tracking. Would you want to stay with me? The kids all have things they’re doing. Māra’s got a sleepover and she’s getting a ride with them. Insisted on packing her bag last night to take to school today. Cailean’s got a standing date with some friends on Friday nights. He’ll be back later. Kiri’s almost always out. I think he only uses the house to eat, shit, and shower.”

“Can I stay just until you head home?” Eve whispers.

“You can stay with me for as long as you need.”

“Thank you.”

“Of course. Are you hungry?”

Eve shakes her head as much as she can with Calum’s palms still pressed into her cheek. “No, no I’m not hungry.”

Calum nods. “Okay. C’mon. Let’s get some cold water on your cheeks; that okay?” He only gets a nod but when he grips Eve’s hand, she squeezes back. He leads them back to the bathrooms--a gender neutral option right next to the women’s. Calum doesn’t miss the swift movement from the corner of his vision. No doubt it’s the guys. He hadn’t really discussed with them how much he had been in contact with Even. They’d surely learn it today though.

Inside the bathroom, Calum turns the cold water on before grabbing a couple handful of paper towels. They’re thin and will undoubtedly soak all the way through, but they’ll have to do. Calum is quick, the water touches and not even a full two seconds later, he pulls the paper out. Eve stands, hovering a few inches behind him. Her irises are purple in her reflection when Calum gazes up, as they’ve always been. But it’s in the reflection that Calum realizes for once the tiredness in that glaze of her eyes.

“Come,” he offers quietly. He nods, into the mirror, like he wants Eve to meet him their in the reflection.

She knows differently and approaches slowly from behind. Calum turns to meet her and she slots up against the sink. The paper towel drips onto her shirt--thankfully it’s black. Calum’s gentle as he can as he dabs her cheeks. “You did the right thing,” Calum whispers. “It’s the same thing I would’ve done.”

“Doesn’t mean it feels right.”

Calum smiles, one side of his cheeks lifting first. “No, sometimes the right thing feels wrong. What else were you going to do? Tell the poor baby he’s dead. He’s never going to see his parents again.”

“I would’ve been telling the truth.”

Calum tsks. “Rule one of the parenting rule book: you get to tell white lies.”

“At least one of us knows the rules.”

“Telling the truth all the time isn't easy. They’re not built for the truth all the time. Being an adult, regardless of parenthood or not, means we have to try and make this cruel world make the most sense for them. We have to figure out how to break it down for them. How do you explain cruelty to a child? How do you tell a child that just because something bad happens doesn’t mean there isn’t something good in it? Perhaps, the one thing being a parent has taught me is that some life lessons are shitty and there’s no easy way to learn them. He’s a baby. He wasn’t ready for that life lesson yet. But he got dealt that hand and you did the best you could for him. That’s the thing I need you to see. You did the best you could by that sweet baby because you saw him in the middle of a life lesson much too cruel for him.”

Calum wants to say more. It burns the tip of his tongue that she would make a great mother. Even if she couldn’t physically bear children, she already had a natural instinct. But Eve isn’t ready for that. Calum’s never sure when she will be. But most definitely not right now. Calum tosses the soggy paper towels into the trash and then gingerly dabs fresh paper towels on her flesh to dry away the cool water.

Eve’s nails trail over his wrist as he takes hold of her chin and turns her head to the left. “You don’t…” she offers softly. Calum would regardless. He would do it anyway--that’s the beauty and tragedy of it all. They’d always do it for each other.

“I am,” Calum returns. It’s two words, but it carries with it the belly of their entire relationship.

It only takes one of them to call for the other and they’d answer. The call wouldn’t even have to be fully uttered either before feet would hit ground.

The walk back to the kitchen is short from the bathroom and Eve walks behind Calum the entire way. The boys rush to settle back into their seats, the feet of the seats scrape against the tile of the floor as they rush to settle. “You lot are not subtle,” Calum reprimands.

“We just--you ran out of here. Thought it might’ve been the kids or something,” Ashton returns.

Eve waves from behind Calum’s shoulder, one hand still in his grip. “Not quite his kids.” Eve’s not sure what she expected. Perhaps she was bracing for the side eyes. Maybe she was even anticipating them to shout at her for breaking Calum’s heart thirty years ago. But none of that happens. It’s uneasy--they look at her, then to Calum, and then amongst themselves attempting to decode what is truly happening in front of them. But no one is openly hostile. They stand, or sit, in a hanging inbetween.

“If I didn’t know better, I would’ve said you made a deal with the devil, Eve,” Ashton teases. His laughter is light. “No way it’s been some thirty years or something like it.”

“Could say the same for you,” she laughs. Leave it to Ashton--a comedian even when it might get him in trouble. But Eve’s grateful for the breaking of the ice. Michael offers up his seat for her to take so she’s next to Calum and she declines with a shake of her head. “Thank you though.”

The decline is clearly not enough because Calum guides her to his previous spot. His offering is silent, but firm. He pulls the chair out and his eyes say it all. Eve settles into the chair, turning a question over to the guys about what they’ve been up to since they last spoke.

“Same old same old,” Luke laughs. “You’d think we'd have something more exciting to say but I’m sure you’re the one that has more exciting stories.”

Eve shakes her head. She can feel the waiver of her own smile. “I fear sometimes it might be too exciting.” A bottle of water settles down in front of her, Calum’s tattooed hands sliding out of her vision by the time she catches the movement. “Thanks,” she returns softly to him.

“Of course,” Calum returns, hands sliding now to her shoulders. He squeezes and she settles back into the chair a little bit more. “Besides, Luke’s too ashamed to talk about the bike he bought. Wife is still pissed about that one, buddy.”

“You bought a motorcycle?” Eve questions before taking down a large sip of water.

“Call it a mid-life crisis,” Luke huffs.

“More like a three-fourths life crisis,” Michael jokes. “Half our lives were like ten odd years ago.”

“Ouch,” Luke laughs, hand rubbing at his chest right over his heart. “You’re a killer.”

Eve asks about their children: Micheal’s only, Luke’s twins, and Ashton’s five. All of the men wear pride on their faces as they talk--from robotics club to theater, all of them are figuring out their lives to which their fathers could never be more proud. The remainder of their lunch passes in a comfortable sway of silence and occasional quips. Eve tries to offer Calum back his seat so he can finish his food. He declines, taking the sandwich and standing up against the window behind the table.

The studio has a couch, computer chairs and other seating arrangements sprawled across the spacious entry. The booth is a bit tinier, but the room squeezes in a comfort that reminds Eve of the way Calum’s old house used to feel. The warm browns and oranges sooth the still buzzing electricity in Eve’s veins. She perches herself into the couch, right up against the right arm and Calum settles next to her. His arm drapes over her shoulder. A squeeze, his palm pressed into her bicep. Eve goes, following the directive without much thought as she leans into Calum’s side, head not quite resting into his shoulder. Calum’s laughing at something Michael said but he coaxes her, a hand sliding to her neck and jaw to finish the movement and have her relax fully into him. Eve settles her head onto his shoulder. Her nose brushes at his throat when she looks up. Like Calum can feel the gaze he glances down.

“I’ve got you,” he whispers. “It’s alright.” It’s alright to trust me again. It’s alright that I trust you again. It’s alright that you needed me. It’s alright when I need you. Calum doesn’t say any of this. He feels like he doesn’t need to when Eve turns just a little. Her knees draw up, arms wrapping around his torso. He needs Eve to need him and want him too. And she did--she had to in order to so desperately wish for him to check his phone.

She can lean into him. But she must also speak. Clearly and directly. No half finished sentences, no silent pleading. Eve had lifetimes to build the habit and Calum’s only hope is that she won’t need his whole lifetime to break it.

As evening gives its first warning of its descent, the guys disband for the day. The songs are in a place where they too can rest for a night. In all their years, they’ve learned the art of rest. Rest, too, is a powerful tool with creation. At the doors for the studio, Calum and Eve stand hand in hand a few feet shy of the piercing reality. She’d only asked for the day before he left. Would she want more?

“Would you like to come over for dinner?” Calum asks.

Eve swallows at the question. She really doesn’t want to intrude, but she doesn’t want to let go either. “Yes, as long as you’re sure I won’t be in the way.”

“You won’t. You won’t be in the way,” Calum assures.

“Yes,” Eve returns, “I’d like to come over for dinner.”

The house is silent when they arrive. The lack of cars in the driveway should’ve given it away, but when Eve steps in over the threshold there is a buzzing quietness. She’s more prepared to deal with his kids, questions, and even stares. But there is nothing though Calum’s voice is enough to cut through the silence. “Today was going to be a simple pasta bake. Is that good? I could order us something. But I don’t want the onions and peppers to go to waste, if I’m honest.”

“Pasta is fine,” Eve answers. “Would-would you like help?”

Calum turns, spotting Eve leaning into the archway between the dining room and the kitchen. He grins. “Absolutely I would love help.”

They are relatively quiet as they work. Calum directs on what he needs assistance with and Eve speaks only to affirm the instruction, or to warn Calum when she’s behind him. They don’t need too many words in this setting and when she gets the onion chopped fully she slides them in the other veggies being sauteed. Though Eve doesn’t know everything in this kitchen, she still remembers their system. Eve starts washing the dishes. Calum slips each piece ready to be washed next to her. She double checks nothing is burning while he goes to grab something from the pantry.

The heat of the oven swells between them. Calum slips the glass dish into the oven and Eve’s working on the last of the spatulas and pans to wash. They can feel, beneath the hot waft, the heat of each other too. An underlying pulse that Calum wishes to quicken. He slips behind Eve, hands settling on her waist. “You okay?”

She nods. “I think so. Just drained now mostly. Thank you. I haven’t said that and I should. Thank you.”

“You don’t have to thank me,” Calum returns, placing a kiss on her cheek.

“But I do.”

“In case you forgot, we are literally destined for each other.”

“So it’s destiny now?” Eve asks, letting the water go from the sink. The last of the dishes are now cleaned. Well until they eat. But those are dishes for another time. They are for worrying later about.

“You’re the only one that still calls it a curse,” Calum answers. “Is it fucked up how it has to happen? Absolutely. But I don’t think loving someone is a bad thing. I don’t ever regret you, Eve.”

She spins now. Calum’s eyes aren’t sad. They’re dark brown like they’ve always been and Eve swears she could fall through the velvety gaze. “I most certainly don’t regret you.”

“It’s sort of impossible to regret me,” Calum teases. It earns him a scoff and a light slap on his chest. He holds her hand there, both palms wrapped around her single. “I mean it more seriously though. I was angry when you wanted to divorce, but I also knew it would come. You wanted me to have a full life and as ready as I was to give it all up, I’m glad you did push. I still think it should’ve been more of a discussion.”

“Ah, okay, yes, it should’ve been,” Eve concedes.

“Curses should have more dread in them, don’t you think?”

Eve watches the way Calum inches in, hands taking her waist more solidly in their grips. “Calum,” she offers softly. Not quite a warning, but something like a plea. Here? Now? she is asking.

He relents, kissing her forehead and dropping his hands from her waist. “It’s just a question. But I would like an answer. Whenever you’re ready.”

Though Calum moves to the dining room, Eve stays at the sink. His fingers curl around the box--cigarettes--and his lighter. Eve’s voice shakes just a little on the first, “I think curses have dread. And I think curses also have a little bit of pleasure in them too. I just need more time to rediscover that pleasure. Like perhaps after sleep.”

Calum grins around the butt of his cigarette at the last part of her statement. He hadn’t thought she’d lost her physical attraction to him, but it is still a nice boost to confidence to hear it verbally. “You don’t need sleep last time I checked.”

“But you do. I need a little bit more time to shake through the jitters.” Eve pushes from the counter now, closing the distance between them. She plucks the nicotine filled paper from between his lips. “And you always said you’d quit when you had kids.”

“I’m a social smoker,” Calum returns. “Never around the kids and never by myself.”

“What sadness is your smoking buddy now?”

Calum shakes his head, eyes falling to the floor. He catches the green on Eve’s toes--a shimmery polish that looks like it has some sort of metallic reflection. He shouldn’t. Eve had needed him, not that he couldn’t voice his own needs but he didn’t want to unload on her when she was already dealing with her own things. He could call one of the guys. They’d always be happy to listen to him. Which is what he’d intended to do before Eve spotted it--the true reason for his insistence.

“Kelsie, isn’t it?” Eve deduces.

“I see those horns are still sharp,” Calum returns. He’s not paying attention, trying to steady his own breath. But he can reach rustling. Something gently brushes against his lips and he brings his gaze back into focus. The butt of a cigarette dangles in front of him. He continues up. Eve stands next to him, a cigarette between her lips too.

“Can’t have you smoking alone.”

“What happened to: it’s bad for me? It’s going to kill me?”

“Everyone dies. Something takes us out of the world eventually.”

“Not you.”

Eve snorts, before pulling her own cigarette free from her lips. “I was created. I can be destroyed too. I have loved too and I have been devastated by love too.” She brings back the cigarette she’d offered to Calum. “Take the smoke.”

The pair carry on down the hallway towards the backdoor. Calum leads the way and Eve follows behind, taking in the sights of all the kids in their picture day best. She pauses at a family vacation photo. Calum and Kelsie stand in the back. Māra’s tucked into Calum’s grasp--possibly five or so in the photo. Kiri and Cailean stand in front, grinning hard. She’s never seen the house they’re in front of. But she likes, as she imagines, that it might be his mother’s place they’re visiting. Kelsie’s laughing in the photo, grinning up at Calum. Calum’s smiling down at her too in return. It’s clear the photo was captured when they weren’t ready for it. Their skin looks sun kissed, a setting sun giving the photo a pink and red twinged hue.

“My mom took that photo,” Calum offers. He’d held the door open for Eve, and was momentarily shocked when she wasn’t directly behind him. “We’d been at the beach all day. Kiri and Cailean were sunburned terrible, but they were more than happy with themselves for catching a few waves.”

“Did you teach them?”

“Luke actually. I taught all of them how to swim. Sort of a combined family and band retreat.”

“Did Māra join in?” Eve asks, turning her attention away from the picture to Calum.

He nods, a small smile lifting his cheeks. “She caught one within her third try. Boys took nearly half an hour because they kept rough housing.”

“Life father, like sons.”

“Oh, I’m not that bad,” Calum laughs. “Not anymore at least.”

The question burns Eve’s tongue and she glances back up to the photo. She and Kelsie are distinct opposites--Eve’s dark skin and dark hair are starkly different from Kelsie’s paler skin. And Eve is by no means trying to compare the two of them. They were two vastly different people. “Did Kelsie take convincing?”

“Only took all three kids begging. But she got out there.” Calum catches the faint sound of Kelsie’s laughter in his memory.

“No, no,” Kelsie laughs. “I am not built for surfing.” She likes being tucked up on the shore. Her and Joy have been laughing amongst themselves, keeping the food safe in the coolers. Kelsie’s rather enjoyed rating all her children’s attempts--always higher than a 7, even on the harshest fails because they’re just so proud of themselves. Swimming, paddling, perhaps even snorkeling could intrigue her, but she is not a surfer.

“Please, Mom,” Kiri begs. “Dad will protect you! He always does.”

Calum stands behind Kiri, hands on the shoulder of his wetsuit. “Only if you really want to, Kels. You know that. But I’ll be right there.” It’d been a few years since Calum had really gotten on a board, but surfing was a skill akin to riding a bike. The second you got back onto it, everything came rushing back. Sure there were some mistakes, but it was still a skill that could resurface in time.

“Mom, please!” Cailean insists, panting a bit after sucking down several large gulps of his water. “It’s so much fun!”

“Mommy, please,” Māra chimes in from Joy’s lap. She’d retired there after her half an hour on the board.

Calum only watches Kelsie. She worries her bottom lip between her teeth. Her uncertainty is clear and when she looks up to Calum, he sees everything she’s asking. “I’ll be right there,” he assures. “I can’t promise you won’t fall, but I can promise I’ll help you up.”

“You better help me back up,” she laughs, but extends her hand out.

Calum helps her up, using the hand he has on her wrist to tug her flush against his body. “Are you sure?”

“Yeah, the kids did it. It can’t be that bad.”

“You don’t have to,” he whispers against her lips. “Not in the slightest.”

“At least one attempt,” Kelise whispers back before capturing his lips in a true kiss. “At least once.”

Calum blinks. The hallway opens back up to his vision. Eve stands, watching him. There’s no judgment in her gaze, just an openness for him to share what he wants, feel what he needs to feel. Calum turns, back resting into the wall of the hallway. “I don’t even sleep in our bedroom anymore. Can’t,” he confesses.

“How long?” Eve asks.

“Since she died, really. Māra used to sleep on her side. Even now, sometimes when I come in from the guest bedroom to get clothes or something, Māra’s sitting on Kelsie’s side. Just doesn’t feel the same.”

“It won’t,” Eve states. “It won’t feel the same.”

Calum knew that--when he decided he wouldn’t move even though he wanted to, and when he asked for Eve to come over all those months ago, he knew it wouldn’t be the same. Perhaps it is selfish. It is selfish to wish that Eve could fill the void Kelsie had left. It is selfish to think either woman held the same place in his heart. But just because he knew it was selfish, doesn’t mean that common sense would override desperation. That’s what it is in his bones and the bags of his eyes. Calum is fucking desperate. He wants something to make him feel normal. But there is nothing normal about his life now. Not a single damn thing.

“Yeah,” Calum agrees. His throat is tight and his voice is thick as he speaks. “Yeah, I’m realizing that now.”

Eve takes his hand. It’s not to push him, not to force him to make any particular movement. In fact, she leans against the wall next to Calum and squeezes his palm. “It’s not an easy lesson,” Eve whispers.

“Sounds like you’re speaking from experience.”

“Perhaps, it’s happened once or twice in my lifetime. But only once or twice.”

They both know the truth. They both know that more than once Eve’s faced what she’s grown to learn as normal or familiar changes on its face. They don’t need to say it. There’s no need. They both know, so much so that when Eve does finally give Calum’s hand a squeeze and his arm a tug, he follows. Calum follows Eve out to the backyard. They settle on his porch, sharing the same flicker of the lighter for their cigarettes.

Eve gets one inhale pressed into her lungs before she speaks. “These things will kill you, you know.”

“Something gets us eventually,” Calum returns.

***************************

Calum’s not sure what he expects when he lifts his head. The sheet is cold under his arm. When he fell asleep, he’d wrapped around Eve’s torso, clung to her like children do to baby blankets. But now there’s nothing in the bed besides the sheets and the pillow he’d grabbed at some point in his slumber. Eve had every right to leave if she needed to. There were no promises made. She hadn’t vowed anything to Calum. But he realizes now, with the sun streaking in from the blinds, he wishes she had.

The door creaks open and Calum turns, arms holding him up as he gets onto his back. Eve. She fills out in front of him the hem of his white t-shirt barely covering her to the tops of her thighs. It doesn’t help her the shorts she’s acquired somewhere in the time between them retiring to the guestroom from the mindless TV watching after their smoke and Calum waking also don’t cover more than a few inches of her thighs either. Calum makes out, even behind his bleary vision, something long in her hands. Calum pushes up even further, back pressing into the pillows. Eve settles next to his knees, getting the tray table over his lap.

“Scrambled, medium hard, right?” she asks. Not that she’d forget. She could never forget, but the question makes it better. She’s giving Calum room to grow, for things to have changed since she was last with him.

He nods. “Yeah, yeah that’s right.” Pancakes, eggs, waffles, bacon, and hashbrowns are spread out in front of him. She always went a little overboard on food when she cooked it. It used to annoy Calum. It’s less annoying than it was a feeling that no matter how many times Calum said to Eve she didn’t have to make a feast, she wouldn’t listen.

But now, as he has the tray more clearly in his focus, he spots two forks and two knives. Eve scoots the waffles closer to her before pushing the pancakes, bacon, and eggs towards Calum. It’s easy, Calum realizes, to assume nothing has changed. Especially since he’s been so long without Eve. His memory has them frozen in place, thirty years ago. Nothing could change for him about her, until they became a present reality. This is the evidence. Both their lives had continued since their last meeting. They’d both evolved.

“I’d asked how you slept,” Calum jokes, picking up the mug of coffee for a sip. “But something tells me you didn’t get a wink.”

“How’d you sleep?” Eve asks.

If Calum’s honest, it’s the best sleep he’s gotten in a year. Not that he had a reason to not be honest with Eve. But the confession feels much too deep for where they are. “Good,” Calum returns. “Really good.”

Their silence is comfortable as they take bites of food. Stolen glances, for Calum, over the rim of his glasses and for Eve, from between her lashes, lead to soft giggles into coffee and orange juice. They don’t need to say more, and yet if they really wanted to, they could. When they finish, Calum being the one to lag behind Eve, Eve collects the tray without a word. Calum follows behind her back up to the kitchen.

“Let me wash the dishes,” Calum commands. He tries to reach out for the tray as he walks side by side Eve now out of the hallway.

“I’ve got it,” Eve returns, pausing them just outside of the dining room. “Relax.”

“Thanks for breakfast.” Calum’s not sure why he’s not expecting Cailean’s voice to hit his eardrums. Him and his friends only really ever hung out during the evening and he was home most nights by eleven. He’d text if he was staying over or running late. As far as Calum knows, his phone is free of any of those texts. But still, the sound of his son’s voice does make Calum panic a little. His first reaction is to shield Eve, but then as the seconds pass and Eve slips out from behind Calum’s body, his brain finally processes what Cailean said.

“You’re welcome, Cailean.”

“Oh, I cleaned up what was left of the dishes too, by the way,” he continues on, reaching for the tray in her hands.

“Oh, I can clean these,” Eve smiles. “Thanks so much for the other dishes.”

Cailean nods, hands ducking back to his sides. “I mean, it’s the least I could do. I thought about what you said too. On the face of it, honesty is best. But Leonard and I--it’s not something I’d want to risk.”

Eve nods. “Perfectly reasonable given how long you two have been friends from what you said. Has Yvette said anything about what Māra told her?”

“I think everyone’s in the whole pretend like nothing happened and wait for things to just pass over play.”

Calum’s unsure of what transpired while he was still asleep. But he has to assume that at some point between Eve slipping out of the room and now, she and Cailean have talked. Calum was going to ask about what had transpired the day before. But now he’s unsure if he needs to. Though, part of him is glad. His kids do seem to be getting along with Eve--at least for Cailean and Kiri. Māra is a work in progress. He didn’t have to worry, too much anymore, about the fear of Eve and them being at odds. Perhaps, it is easier. All of his kids are older. Perhaps, their initial introduction though it had gone south proved useful. Eve had made it clear that she could never replace Kelsie and her goal wasn’t to somehow fill a void. No one would be able to do that. She was just Eve.

“Sounds like you want to pretend it never happened too,” Eve returns now to Cailean.

Calum settles at the head of the dining table, nodding over to Kiri as he settles. “Wild Friday night?” Calum teases.

“Seems like your Friday night was wilder than anything I could’ve gotten into,” he snorts, still shoveling down a forkful of eggs. Calum lets the retort go without rebuttal. There’s nothing he can say that will prove otherwise to Kiri. Not that Calum needs to prove anything on the face of it.

“I don’t want to start something if it’s not really a big deal,” Cailean concludes. He’s started moving the dishes that are dry into the cabinets to give Eve more space on the drying rack for what’s left.

The shake of Eve’s head tells Calum she’s debating. There are things she probably wants to say but worries that if she does, they’ll come out wrong. “I think,” Eve starts, turning the water off after rinsing out the coffee mug, “that you know Leonard better than anyone else in here. If he’s not raising an issue, then maybe it’s not one. But it might still prove useful to clear the air with Yvette. You said you two were working on a project. She’s also important here.”

Cailean sighs, stacking the silverware back into the correct slots of the drawers. “Yeah, but that’s just awkward too, right?”

Eve shrugs. “The whole thing is awkward, Cailean. Wouldn’t you agree?”

He laughs humorlessly. “Yeah, I would agree that Māra surely knows how to make a bad situation worse.”

“Oh, Māra’s young. She’s learning where the lines are. I’m sure Kiri’s got stories of you meddling in his business.”

“Yeah two weeks ago at the 18 plus bar,” Kiri cuts in. Cailean gets the last of the knives up and flips his brother off. “I told you those girls were there together.”

“You were the one that spotted them. If you had just kept quiet, I wouldn’t have had any need to approach.”

“The point being,” Eve interjects over Kiri’s not quite fully formed utterance and Cailean’s primed rebuttal. “You, Cailean, have done similar things to your siblings. Māra’s intentions were pure, even if her actions were misplaced.”

“Talk about misplaced,” Cailean mutters.

“Alright, Cai,” Calum interjects. He understands the annoyance, but the thing he doesn’t want is for Cailean to keep harping on the same point. Either he was actually going to accept Māra’s apology and move on to make it better for himself or he’s not. But Calum won’t stand for him being inconsistent. “She apologized. And even offered to fix the mistake.”

“You’re right, you’re right, Pops,” Cailean sighs. “Okay, I’ll talk to Yvette to let her know that she doesn’t have to worry or anything. Thanks, Eve.”

“Anytime,” she returns.

The scrap of Kiri’s chair causes Calum to turn his head to the sound. He collects his plate and utensils, carrying them back into the kitchen. “Thanks for breakfast, Eve.”

“You’re welcome, Kiri.” He hovers for a moment, sliding the plate onto the counter. “Your mind wouldn’t have changed even if I asked to wash my own dishes wouldn’t it?” The sigh Eve releases almost sounds like she might be really thinking about it. It would’ve been the third time one of them asked to take over the duty. But the answer comes when Eve slips his plate into the sudsy water. “Don’t think so. Maybe next time.”

“I tried,” Kiri laughs. “Pops, I’m going to be in the garage for a bit. I’m almost finished with the paint on the shelves.”

“Shelves?”

Kiri shakes his head at the question. “Have you not been in the garage the last few days? A friend wanted help building some shelves. You said we could use the garage.”

Calum works through his memory. He remembers when Kiri asked if they had power tools, which Calum does remember showing Kiri where they were. “I-,” Calum laughs. “It’s gone. But okay, thanks for the heads up.”

“Uh oh, Pops. Memory problems, don’t tell me you’re getting old,” Kiri laughs.

“You keep living long enough you’ll be in my spot sooner than you think. Do you need a hand with anything?”

“No, don’t think so. If I do, I’ll holler.”

“Sounds good.”

Cailean continues putting the clean dishes away as he dries them, though he doesn’t need to put them all away. He does so anyway, even extending a second offer to Eve if she needs help with anything else. Much like his first, Eve politely declines as she dries her hands from the dishes. The kitchen is silent. Not even Eve’s feet make a sound as she makes her way over to the kitchen table.

“Need me to stick around?” she asks quietly. Her nails drag just lightly through Calum’s hair, scratching ever so slightly at his scalp with the action. Last night and yesterday was a lot for both of them. She’s not sure if Calum’s in the mood for extended company or not. Eve would rather be clear on where his needs stand than assuming anything else.

Calum reaches out, one arm slipping around her waist. He urges her around to settle onto his thigh and she goes without a fight, perching on his lap. “I need to stop by the florist and cemetery if you’d be okay with joining.”

“You do realize you are asking me to visit your late wife with you, right? Wouldn’t that be scandalous?” Eve can’t bite back the tiny smile on her lips.

“Asking my current girlfriend, who also happens to be my ex-wife, to go with me to my dead wife's grave isn’t something I hadn’t fully thought would ever happen, so you know--scandalous or not, I’m asking. Will you join me? The boys will probably want to join too. They usually go with me. Just as a warning.”

“Is-is that why Māra’s out with friends?”

Calum nods, “We’ll see if she makes it through today. Sometimes, she can. Sometimes, she can’t.”

Māra always takes it the hardest and Calum never forces her to do anything that she’s not ready to do. Though it was only their wedding anniversary, it was a tradition that Calum and Kelsie tried to include the kids in the festivities to some extent. They always made time for themselves, but as their family expanded, asking a babysitter to care for three kids at the same time started to feel more and more like a chore and worry. It helps too that the boys were happy to watch the kids when needed. But it would be a venture for later.

“She’ll come around, find her way through,” Eve offers. It’s mostly in an effort to console Calum. He’d raised great kids, alongside Kelsie. Eve wants him to be proud, but it’s also not her place to downplay and belittle grief.

“She will. I still think she’s processing a lot,” Calum states. Without much thought, he drops his head into Eve’s chest, ear pressing right against her heart. The rhythm is almost normal. It beats slower than a human heart, he realizes. But he only seems to catch the slight difference because he keeps trying to time the thump he’s grown accustomed to, to Eve’s and her’s always seems to lag just slightly behind his time.

“How did she ever find out about me?” Eve means it harmlessly, a question more to ask what is Māra truly processing besides the death of her mother.

“I-I don’t know how she figured out what you are. She’d asked all the time why she was named after gardens. Kelsie would tell Mar, some variation that gardens being a place where pretty things grow and that Kelsie thought it would be beautiful to name her only daughter after a place where beauty grows from the inside. I don’t know. Mar’s always been curious. She loves getting to the root of something. I’d tell her that I wanted her to carry a piece of her culture with her. Perhaps it satisfied her. Maybe all it did was make her question why we both had different answers.”

“It’s reasonable to have different reasons for a name,” Eve interjects.

“Yeah, because we’re adults. We have reasoning. And it’s also rich, because it’s us. Of course, I can’t tell her because I wanted a piece of an old lover. I can’t tell my child the real reason because what if she thinks she’s somehow different. But it seems like maybe it didn’t matter in the long run.”

“It might,” Eve returns, pushing back some of Calum’s hair to plant a kiss to his hairline.

“I guess we never really know for sure. But, to get back to your question. About six months after Kelsie died, I finally got around to sorting through her things. The kids wanted some stuff; I kept some stuff. The whole house sort of got turned upside down and we’re digging out boxes that Kels and I haven’t touched in years, right? They want to help, so I let them and I think--I’m not certain though--I think she might’ve gotten into one of my old boxes. I packed up some old journals and photos. Some pictures of us were in the box and a journal. I kept the journal because of some of the stuff I wrote about. I didn’t want just anyone getting hands on it.”

“What kind of photos?” Eve asks.

“Our wedding day photos,” Calum admits softly. “So I had to come clean.”

“Calum,” Eve sighs. “Of all the things to keep.”

“Oh, sue me.”

“You’re lucky it’s not a sueable offense. It’s not a giant leap,” Eve notes. “Eve, the garden. Before she started piecing things together, were you ever going to tell her?”

That’s the question. It’s not Eve asking if Calum was going to tell his children, it’s Eve asking if Calum was ever to call back for Eve. Calum knew Eve would ask it eventually. It’s a reasonable question to ask. But Calum’s terrified of the answer. He exhales, pushing his head up. Eve’s gaze is pointed directly at him. His arms are settling around her hips, fingers threading to keep her close. Eve could break the grip if she wanted. Calum shakes his head before a soft, “No,” leaves his lips.

Eve’s not shocked at the answer, but she is a little taken aback by the firmness in Calum’s voice. “Why?”

“Because I wasn’t going to call you. If Kelsie hadn’t died when she did, I had come to terms with my decision. We were going to have those seven years. We were going to cherish them for what they were and I was going to remain loyal to Kelsie. She and I were going to have decades. And if she died when we got older, much older, I was going to see after my kids, but I wasn’t going to have anyone find you. They would’ve discovered you after I died maybe. Or when they put me up in a home, but I wasn’t going to drag you back through such pain.”

Calum exhales. His throat threatens to close and the sting spreads through his chest. The exhale allows him a moment to collect himself before continuing, “Then she died in that accident. I wasn’t prepared to lose Kelsie so early. I didn’t know what else to do. And the only thing that felt right was reaching out to you. I couldn’t make heads or tails of much of anything in my personal life. I had enough sense to be there for my kids, because that’s my job as their dad. But to think I would spend the next thirty years without anyone. God, I couldn’t imagine it. I didn’t want to imagine that kind of life.”

Eve takes her thumb to wipe the tears that have slipped down Calum’s cheek. She doesn’t think Calum notices the tears that have slipped. Or if he has, he’s not made any movement to clear the tears. “So you called me,” she deduces.

“So I called you,” Calum states.

“Because I’ll always answer.”

“It’s selfish, really. The thing I said I didn’t want to cause you I have roped you right into.”

“Sometimes you’re allowed to be selfish, Calum. But you see now why I still call it a curse. Do I love the good parts? Yes. Do I adore every second I get with you? Yes, of course. But it comes with pain. It is still a curse at the end of the day.”

Calum can only nod. The lump in his throat he’d been trying to swallow back down is too thick now. The inhale is shaky and when the words die in the space between his tongue and chest, Calum just nods. A resignation that he’d fulfilled the prophecy just as intended. Even if he wanted to let what he and Eve stay in the past, reality would never let him have that. He is a pawn in a game he could never win.

There’s nothing for Eve to say. Sure, in a wider stance, Calum’s fate was sealed long before he was born. But even in the macrocosm, individual choices have to be made. Calum could have named Māra something else. He could’ve gotten rid of the photos earlier. He could’ve done so many things differently. Yet, he hadn’t. All of his choices that he did make after learning the truth behind Eve were still his responsibility. Though, the truth didn’t make it easier to accept. He is here now. His head cradled into Eve’s hands, pressed to her sternum. Calum is here now. This is the bed he’d have to lie in now.

The late morning fades into the early afternoon and just as Calum thinks that maybe Māra will get through the rest of the day smoothly, his phone rings. Eve sees it first, from the couch, as the screen lights up before the ringtone sounds. When she reads Māra’s name on the screen, she picks it up and scurries down to the bathroom door. Her knock is gentle. But the rush of water from the sink cuts out and she knocks again.

Calum peels open the door, brows furrowed together when he spots Eve at the door. “There’s like five bathrooms--”

“It’s Māra,” Eve returns, answering the call before it goes to voicemail and holds it up to Calum’s ear.

“Dad?”

Calum takes the phone out of Eve’s hand, still keeping it up to his ear. “Yeah, sweetpea. It’s me. What’s up? Boy trouble?” He wishes it’s just boy trouble. Calum guesses it’s probably not. But he can still hold out hope.

Māra’s laughter is soft. “No, not boy trouble. Yet,” she adds after a pause.

“Gonna give your old man a heart attack, don’t say that.”

“Dad, it’s okay to still miss her, right? It’s okay to still ache, right?”

Calum inhales at the crack in Māra’s voice. His eyes blur for a moment with threatening tears, but they don’t fall. “Yeah, Mar, it’s okay to still miss your mother. It’s okay to still ache. Do you want me to come get you?”

“No, no, I just--Jasmine and her mom. Sometimes it just hurts. That’s all. You can’t fix it. I can’t fix it. It just hurts.”

“Sometimes it does,” Calum agrees. “And it’s okay that it does hurt.”

A shaky exhale crackles through the receiver. “She’d understand. That I still want to hang out with my friends. I still--I still have life.”

“She would. If between the two of us, only one would understand that it would be your mom. Kels always understood that. You sure you don’t want me to get you?”

“Yeah, Dad, I’m sure. Could-Could I visit her tomorrow? I know you’re probably going today.”

“Of course, sweetpea. Tomorrow’s fine.”

Another sniffle cracks through the line. “Can you just stay on the line with me? Tell me what’s happening over there?”

“Yeah, of course. It’s sort of boring over here,” Calum starts, pushing away from the bathroom door. He debates for a moment if he should mention Eve and then decides against it. It’s not lying. But there’s no reason for Calum to mention her specifically. Instead Calum chats about how the house is shockingly quiet between Kiri’s work on the shelves and Cailean upstairs. Calum’s sure to take it slow as he talks, knowing that the longer he takes, the more time Māra has to calm herself down.

The call only goes for another few minutes before Māra feels calm enough to get off the phone. Calum lets her go when she says she’s ready, but he clutches the phone between his hands for a moment. The corner of the device presses into his forehead as he drops his gaze to the floor. The couch shifts next to him. It’s a soft touch, right on his knee. But Calum’s never been more relieved to have someone at his side than in this moment. None of this is easy. Raising kids, dealing with death--not a single one of those are easy. But Calum’s sorely reminded just how much having someone else helps. Even if Eve can’t fix everything, her presence is still a comfort.

Calum’s grateful for the presence even when Eve sits in the backseat of the car. Kiri sits up front, Cailean behind the passenger seat and Eve behind Calum. Calum’s grateful for Eve when she watches them pick up the bouquet--peace lilies, violets, white roses, white daisies, and blue irises. Calum’s grateful. It is as plain and simple as that. And he’s even more grateful when he takes the step back from Kelsie’s headstone and Eve’s right there in the corner of his eye. The boys are mostly quiet, soft ‘I love you’s falling from their lips.

Eve doesn’t dare encroach. She keeps her distance, hands behind her back. But she’s there--all the same. That’s all that matters. She’s here because Calum asked her to be here. She’d always be there if Calum asked.

“Were you there?” Kiri turns, spotting Eve behind them. She stands, arms behind her back at attention. “When Mom died, were you there?”

“No,” Eve returns. Her tone is even without being condescending. It’s a fact. Eve was not there when Kelsie died. She hardly ever is for anyone’s death—save for the escapades Death drags her on.

“Did you know about us? Before Dad mentioned us?”

“In a way, yes.” The confusion is clear and Eve continues on, “Your mother called for me. Most dead people don’t get many requests. There’s no one phone call rule in Heaven. You’ll be happy to know your mother was decidedly going to Heaven. I didn’t know she’d died until after it happened. She was on her way to the otherside when she asked for me. By name. And I answer the calls when they come. It’s my job. ”

“Mom asked for you?” Cailean questions, turning now to Eve.

“Your mother asked for me.”

“What-what did she say?” Kiri takes a step forward. “What did she want?”

In all the time Eve had spent with Kiri he’d always been level headed. He had a no-nonsense air to him. While Eve wouldn’t call it a blase attitude, she would say that Kiri was cautious. But his face opens now in desperation and Eve sees the child he probably was. Trusting and wide eyed--Kiri probably took everything in with open arms and palm, letting razors cut if they fell and being kissed with giddy rain. He knew the world could and would hurt him, but he let it do so anyway. Much like was happening now. Eve’s answers—if she gives them fully—will only serve to cut Kiri’s faith just a little bit more. And yet, he is asking for it.

“She wanted her children safe.” It’s easy enough to round down the sentiments because truth be told, it was more complicated than that. The promise Eve can keep is that she won’t make it harder for them.

“Did she ask you to take care of us?” Kiri probes.

Eve shakes her head. “No. I would do a poor job at that. You don’t make promises to dead people you can’t keep.”

“Then what! What did she say, Eve?” The emotion catches in Kiri’s throat, and where his voice has grown in volume, it dies off in a choke on his pleas. “Please, what did she say?”

“Tell me, Kiri. Do you think knowing this will change anything about the way your mother lived, or loved? Is this knowledge going to give you peace?”

“I-I want it to,” Kiri confesses. He stands a head taller than Eve, but he’s never looked smaller.

“Can I let you in on a secret?” Eve captures his hands, bringing him a step closer to her body. There’s still a foot or so between them. But Kiri’s body hunches in and his shoulders shake. He nods to Eve’s question nevertheless. “Her dying thoughts were of you, and Cailean, and Māra, and Calum. She only wanted you all taken care of. I would be a poor substitute and messenger to her legacy and wishes. She loves you, Kiri. Isn’t that wonderful?”

“You keep doing that. Using present tense. She’s dead.”

Eve’s smile is tiny. She squeezes at Kiri’s hands to get him to look at her. When she does, she tilts her head just a little. “What do you think she asked me to do?”

“Fuck,” Kiri laughs--wet and thick with tears, but it’s still a laugh. His mother would never want him for a second to think just because she was dead that it would stop her hopes and dreams. Just because his mother is dead does not mean that her love ceased too. “Of course. Of course she did.”

Eve knows that later Calum will ask her what really happened. He too will be curious. Eve’s grateful, though, that in the moment as they spend just a few more minutes at the grave that Calum keeps whatever questions he has swallowed down. The question burns. Eve can see it right behind Calum’s gaze when he looks back in the rearview mirror. With a brief locked gaze, Eve can only hope she’s conveyed to Calum to wait. They return to Calum’s house and the boys immediately head for the stairs. But Calum and Eve both linger not quite at the front door but they have not pushed deeper into the house.

When Calum is sure the doors upstairs have been closed, he spins. “You never mentioned Kelsie talking to you before,” he hisses. His volume is low but the anger is clear. He’s not sure if it’s fear or sadness that’s winning out more on the emotion. But something hurts in his chest. Why would Eve not mention that to Calum of all people?

“She knew about me,” Eve returns. “She asked for me by name and told me that she wants her children cared for. She wants you cared for because she knows if you have me you can be there for your children. But she knew about me though. You can be pissed at me. But tell me: how did she know?”

“I didn’t hide you,” Calum returns. “I never hid what we had.”

“Are you accusing me of hiding something?”

“Why didn’t you mention it before?” Calum knows better than to answer that outright. Eve had her reasons for keeping their conversation quiet. But it still hurts. All Calum had imagined for a year now was what Kelsie’s last thoughts were. Calum had wished for a moment there that it had been him instead of Kelsie. He had started to offer to the store instead of Kelsie, but her job was closer than his. He’d have to cross the entire city just to get there whereas Kelsie was only a few minutes out.

“I only wanted to come into your life when you were ready. Besides, you’re not a hard man to keep tabs on when necessary. There was no reason to come to your door before you were ready.”

“She was my wife! You think I didn’t imagine night after night what she was thinking. I would do anything to change places with her. Eve, I buried her. My kids, the kids I had with her, watched their mother lowered into fucking dirt. Why didn’t you tell me she asked for you? Why?”

“I-” Eve blinks, watching the furrow between Calum’s brow. This is not the reaction she anticipated. But truly on the face of things, it could have gone a number of ways. “I’m sorry, Calum.”

“Why was she thinking of me?” His voice cracks on the question and Eve watches the first tear bubble in his lash line. “Why would she be focused on me when our kids need her?”

“Because she loves you,” Eve returns. That is a fact. Eve knew that.

“He’s always loved you, you know,” Kelsie says. Her eyes hurt from the light in front of her. But Eve’s body blocks some of it and it hurts a little less to take in the other woman’s appearance. Dark clothes and hair, though the ends look recently dyed a warm ginger. She’s never been super insecure, but standing in front of Eve, Kelsie feels a little out of place. How had Calum loved both of them? Eve exudes a confidence that Kelsie feels like she could never reach.

“He’ll always love you,” Eve returns. She doesn’t say what she’s really thinking: that Calum’s bond to her is forged in youth, lust, and design. Not that it is any less real. It is real, and it would always be different.

“Just--can you promise me something?” Kelsie asks. She’s unsure if she should ask. It was more than enough that when Kelsie asked for Eve that she actually showed up. When Calum talked of Eve, what she was, and their time together, Kelsie thought the claims of her being the Devil incarnate were just something to say for the effect. Eve wasn’t actually the Devil, but to Calum she was.

However, Kelsie had asked, upon spotting God and Death at her side, if she were dead. When they confirmed she was, when they confirmed she was going to the other side, Kelsie asked if she’d run into Eve. They were adamant Kelsie wouldn’t. And then it happened: I want to talk to Eve. Now, Kelsie is here. She’d asked for it. Wouldn’t it be stupid not to ask after all this?

“What is it? I won’t promise if I don’t know what I’m getting into,” Eve answers. “It’s not anything to do with you,” Eve tacks on. “Hazards of the job, and all.”

“I love him, I love Calum so much. And I always knew even before he told me. But I always knew someone had come before me. His first true love and it never ends well. But I love him. Do you think--oh, I don’t think I should be asking anymore.”

“Ask me,” Eve commands. It’s gentle, her hands take in Kelsie’s.

How could the touch feel so real even though she’s dead? Kelsie wonders. When her gaze lifts to Eve’s, the purple swirling with a bit of gold and the pupil tin the shape of snake’s, Kelsie can’t help but feel sucked in. Kelsie has to answer. She must. “Take care of him. Calum’s got to be there for the kids. He’s all they have left now. But he’s going to lose it for a while there. He’ll need to grieve, of course. But please--go back to him. When the time is right or when you can. Just please go back to him. He still loves you.” The two women can only stare at each other. A silent exchange of recognition and Eve nods. “And please, don’t let my kids forget that I love them. Present tense. I always will.”

Another few seconds drop between them--silent again. Eve gives another nod before she speaks. “I promise.”

It’s Calum’s voice that brings Eve back to the present around her. It’s his trembling voice that makes Eve’s chest ache. “You-you’re just saying that,” Calum retorts. “You’re--you don’t mean it.”

“She told me.”

Three words, but they make Calum shake his head. He spins from her, walking over to the dining table. Calum had told Kelsie. He told her about Eve a year and a half into their relationship. It was eating him alive not to. But there’s no way Kelsie would ask for Eve. There was no way her last thoughts were of him. Eve stays near the door, watching Calum pace. He peers up at her every few seconds, to confirm she’s still there. Eve never moves though. She’s always in the same spot when Calum looks up.

“Show me,” Calum finally returns. Eve could take him in his sleep to the memory. It would prove to him that it was real.

“Tonight?” Eve questions.

Calum nods. “Tonight.”

“You’re sure you’ll be able to fall asleep?”

“I’m sure.”

“I’ll get you tonight then. Would you like me to leave in the meantime?”

Calum’s not sure what he wants. But he doesn’t like that Eve would just leave. Sure he’s angry--it’s the fear talking mostly, but that doesn’t mean he wants Eve to go. Unless she wants to go. “You’ll come back, though, right? Before we meet in the dream, you’ll come back here for the night?”

“I don’t have to go. I-should we call a timeout?”

Calum exhales. No one’s asked him for a time out in decades. Kelsie and he almost always managed not to ruffle too many feathers. Sure they had their disagreements. Sure a couple got ugly. But they never needed the phrase. They had a look. Kelsie would always look up with a heavy exhale, chin wobbling. It was always her tell that things were getting too heated. Calum nods, at Eve’s question. “There's, uh, there’s no garden though. Just the backyard.”

“I’m sure you still have a music office,” Eve grins.

He gives an exhaled tuft of laughter. “Yeah. There’s, well, there’s Kelsie’s craft room next door too. But you’ve-you’ve always enjoyed the outdoors.”

Eve nods towards the back of the house. “I’ll be outside, okay? When you’re ready.”

“Okay.” It’s all he needs to say before Eve moves from near the front door to the back. The door is soft as it shuts and Calum watches from the start of the hallways as Eve perches on one of the lounge chairs. She just sits for a second, right on the edge before pushing back into the incline.

It shouldn’t shock Calum. When he cracks open the back door, and Eve’s hardly moved from the spot she settled in, he shouldn’t be shocked. But part of him wondered if she’d run off. His answer stares back at him when she opens one eye.

“You hungry?” Calum asks. He holds out the plate, a soup bowl on it with salad and some breadsticks too. The plate is quite crowded, but Calum was more focused on finishing the dinner than with how it looked on the plate.

Eve takes it from his hands. “Thank you.”

“Care for company?”

“I’d like yours,” Eve smiles. “But I know you’re a stickler about having dinner with the kids.”

“I ate with them already. I hope you don’t mind.”

Eve shakes her head, lifting the bowl from the plate in her lap. “I don’t.”

Calum settles at the feet of her chair and Eve folds her legs up under herself. “I’m sorry for raising my voice earlier,” he starts. The spoon is a soft clink in the bow as Eve feeds herself one spoonful. He knows she doesn’t need the food, but he’s grateful that she takes the olive branch.

“I’m sorry for not telling you sooner. I wasn’t sure if I should, if I’m honest.”

Calum reaches out, hand falling to her knee. He brushes his thumb over the denim covered joint. “If I were in your shoes, I probably wouldn’t have been sure either.” A bit of a breeze creeps in through the bushes and Calum takes in only the thin t-shirt covering Eve’s body. “Are you col-” he pauses at the question. “Probably not.”

“Are you cold?”

Calum shakes his head. “I’ll be okay until you finish.”

“Should I still show you?”

He’d debated this as he stood over the simmering pot. He knew he shouldn’t. Eve wouldn’t have a reason to lie over something like this. But he couldn’t shake the thought that he could get to see Kelsie one more time. Perhaps if he could see her not dead, if he could see her not patched up from the cuts and scrapes, he could let her go. That’s the hard part. The last moments he has of Kelsie is her after the thing that took her life. He was always seeing her, behind his eyes, in the after accident state. Maybe he could let her go once he realized that it was just her physical body. Kelsie’s spirit would still be intact. She’d always be the woman he married, caring to a fault and tender.

“Please,” he sighs.

Eve nods, stretching to place her plate and bowl on the table next to her. She settles back into the incline, arms opening up. “C’mon, she’s waiting,” Eve states. She hopes this doesn’t set Calum back. But she’s not in the business of second guessing Calum anymore. If he said he wanted it then he’d have to accept the consequences alongside it.

Calum doesn’t waste another second before crawling up between her legs and presses his back into her chest. Eve holds him tight, both arms squeezing around him. Sleep will take a minute, maybe two. But when it does come, so will Kelsie.

I love him, I love Calum so much. And I always knew even before he told me. But I always knew someone had come before me. His first true love and it never ends well. But I love him.

Present tense.

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lovesosweeet · 5 months

Text

better left unsaid // cth

chapter twenty

in which orion has leukemia, and calum doesn’t know.

calum hood x fem!oc

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june 7, 2016 london, england orion

Somehow, my roommates chose not to join me in London to see 5SOS again. We’d had so much fun at the Madrid show, but after Calum extended the invite to visit the band again, they all declined the offer. I didn’t like the thought of not seeing Cal at least once or twice more, so I booked my flight as soon as I could, choosing the cheapest option possible. It meant spending the night on the floor at the airport so I could catch the earliest flight today and still take the metro before it shut down at 2, but that also meant I landed pretty early on in the day.

Calum and I will have the whole day together. Well, the whole day aside from their soundcheck and other band obligations. I’ll be here with them tomorrow, too, but Calum said they’d have press for most of the day, so I’ll get to explore alone, and then after tomorrow’s show I’m tagging along to Brighton before flying back to Spain.

He’d offered to send a car to pick me up at the airport, but I declined. He tried to fight back and insist, but I felt like it was incredibly unnecessary. I can handle myself. So, once I made my way through customs, I followed the signs to the underground station and hopped on the next train that goes toward the direction of the hotel Calum said they’re staying at.

While I ride the tube, I text him.

To: calum 5sos

hi! on my way to you now. probably like 20 min!

I told him that I would be here early, so I’m hoping he’s awake.

The train is packed with commuters, so I feel extra cautious of being pickpocketed. My valuables are in my crossbody that I have in front of me, but my backpack is stuffed with clothes and makeup. I grip my phone as tightly as I can.

Calum texts me back quickly.

From: calum 5sos

hi pretty! I’m ready to go whenever you get here. can’t wait to see ya!

Suddenly I feel nervous to see him. I did my makeup on the plane and used a ton of overpriced dry shampoo I’d bought at the airport, but now I’m wondering if I look pretty enough to be hanging out with an internationally famous musician.

It’s also funny because it’s only been a few days since I last saw him, and yet, here I am, excited to see him. I’m borderline missing him, which feels wild considering I’ve only known him for about a week. I do my best to push away those kinds of feelings — this is just fun. We’re just having fun together. I’ll probably see him this trip, maybe try to see him one other time, and that’ll probably be it. I’m sure he’s got other girls who’d like to see him, and they’re only in Europe for a month and a half or so.

The rest of the ride to my final station seems to creep by slowly, my nerves just building while I stand awkwardly on the train, clutching my phone and the metal pole that’s keeping me steady.

When we get to the station, I quickly exit the train with an onslaught of other passengers. Most of them are dressed in business clothes, on their way to work. I’m wearing jean shorts and a cropped t-shirt with a linen button down on top, making me feel like I stand out. I’m casual, and I feel quite American in my outfit. My San Diego Padres baseball hat really adds to my American-ness, and I suddenly feel like I should’ve possibly rethought my outfit choice.

My hands are sweaty as I ride the escalator up to the exit. I route my way to Calum’s hotel, trying to at least know which direction to start walking in when I get to the street. Those efforts prove to be unnecessary because when I get to the street, I see Calum waiting for me.

He’s wearing his standard black pants and a pair of black Vans with a black and white striped t-shirt. He’s somewhat disguised with a pair of Raybans covering his eyes, but his height makes the grinning boy stick out to me as soon as I step off the escalator. He raises his hand in a wave when he sees me, instantly starting to walk towards me.

“Orion!” He calls out. As soon as he’s a few steps from me, Calum opens his arms wide so he can wrap me into a tight hug.

I’m somewhat stunned, truthfully, but try to hide it. I hug him back instantly, feeling safer in his grasp. He doesn’t hold onto me for too long, but I’m not sure if it’s because I step back after a few seconds in his arms or if he lets me go.

“No security?” I ask when there’s a foot or so of space between us. I look around, trying to see if there’s a guard hiding a few people away or something, but still don’t see anyone.

Calum shakes his head and smiles. “Nah, convinced Matt to let us free roam today. A trial run.”

I nod. “Got it, I’m on my best behavior.”

He laughs, throwing an arm over my shoulders. “Let’s go drop off your bag at the hotel, and we can get breakfast?” He asks as if it’s a question, even though it’s technically a sentence. “If you’re hungry, I mean.”

“I’m hungry,” I tell him. I feel his shoulders relax. “And I love breakfast.”

“I know you do,” Calum says.

He knows I love breakfast? Had I told him that? Maybe when I was drunk I mentioned it. I do tend to rant about things when I’m drunk.

“Sorry, didn’t mean that to sound creepy,” he then blurts. “I looked at like… your entire Instagram account like a creep, so maybe it should’ve sounded creepy. Sorry, now I’m showing you all my cards, I just—”

I cut him off with laughter. I’m flattered that he had scrolled through my feed. I was shocked to get the follow request, but I accepted it, assuming he’d just follow me and not ever interact with me. I figured it was a nicety. He probably follows every girl he hooks up with as some weird way to document them.

“It’s fine, I looked through yours too.” I did. I saw mostly what I expected. A bunch of stage photos, pictures with his bandmates, a few pictures with his family mixed in. I felt like I got a glimspe into who he is, beyond what I’d learnt during our day and a half together in Madrid.

“I’m flattered,” he says, chuckling.

“I mean it’s not every day I meet someone who knows Harry Styles,” I tell him. “Naturally I needed to see how close of friends you guys are.”

Calum scoffs. He turns me suddenly, onto a new street. I don’t question it and just try to keep up with his long legged pace. “I thought you weren’t a 1D fan?”

I laugh, but it comes out more as a giggle, which for some reason feels embarrassing. “I’m not, but you can’t deny that the man is dreamy.”

Calum laughs, but I’m not sure if it’s at my comment or at my awkward giggle. “I get it, you’re just pretending to like me so you can meet him.”

I’m so wrapped up in my conversation with Calum that I don’t even realize that we’re walking into an alley behind a hotel now. The only reason I realize it is because I can hear the echoes of a crowd from the other side of the building, chanting “5SOS” — it’s 7 in the morning, which is far too early for that in my opinion.

The security guard, Gus is his name, is the same one who had been in Madrid. He smiles when he sees me, or maybe when he sees Calum, or maybe it’s the combination of us. Either way, he waves his hand hello.

“Hi, Gus!” I call, offering him a smile.

“Good morning, Orion.” He remembers my name?

I look at Calum with a surprised look and find him already smiling at me. God, I like him. I smile back and mumble a quiet thank you when he opens the door to the hotel for me. We walk to the service elevator, Cal leading the way, and he presses the button for the seventh floor.

“For the record, I don’t need to meet Harry Styles. I’ve already met the coolest bassist that’s come out of Australia this decade.”

Calum rolls his eyes, feigning annoyance. “Just this decade?”

I throw my head back with a laugh. “I don’t know enough about bassists, and especially not Australian ones, so I didn’t want to oversell you.”

His annoyance evaporates and then he’s giggling with me. The doors open to the floor, Cal holding his arm out so they don’t close on me, and then he grabs onto my hand to pull me to his room. Once the door is unlocked, he opens it for me and lets me walk in ahead of him.

“I’m probably the coolest bassist to come out of Aus in the past century,” he announces, flicking the lights on. “And the hottest.”

I purse my lips. I’d agree, but I can’t inflate his ego. He’s already here, claiming to be the hottest and coolest bassist of the century. “You can keep telling yourself that, bud.” I’m also trying to avoid appearing completely smitten with him, even though I am.

He laughs again. “See, I like how you knock me down.”

I drop my backpack onto the armchair in the corner of the room, next to his open suitcase, messily piled with clothes and a few packs of cigarettes and then I hold my hand out to him. “I’ll pull you back up, too.”

“My dream girl.”

I do my best to ignore the sudden flutter in my chest, settling on smiling cheesily at him.

It’s just a fling, I tell myself. I need to keep my expectations low.

“You said there’d be breakfast?” I ask.

Calum’s expression turns unreadable, but his eyes are still kind and sparkling, so I don’t worry about it. “With me, there will always be breakfast.”

My dream boy, I think.

–

After a few hours of roaming London with Calum, I’ve fallen in love with the city. Despite it being a massive city, something about it all feels quaint… in a dirty, gloomy, stinky kind of way. My only request is that we go on the Eye, which he manages to get us on for free by taking a selfie with the girl at the ticket counter.

He and I also take a selfie with the view at the top. It’s our first picture together, and it might end up being the only photo of us together. I decide it’s a sweet memento to hold onto of this brief study abroad adventure. I haven’t told my moms yet that I’ve decided to take a weekend trip to London to visit a boy, but maybe someday I’ll show them this photo and they can understand why I made the choice to get on a plane to see his show.

We’re making our way to the venue now, the O2. He’s trying to be chill about it, but I can tell Calum is both stoked and incredibly nervous. I think it’s their first time headlining, but I’m not completely sure, and Cal seems too out of it to answer if I did ask. We’re on a train — I have no idea how he managed to convince Matt that he can take a train to the venue without a security guard, but again, not going to ask. He’s drumming his hands on his thighs in a pattern nervously, looking straight ahead of him at the blurry view outside the window.

I grab his left hand in both of mine, steadying it. He stops his tapping and whispers a quiet ‘sorry’ to me. In response, I just squeeze his hand tightly.

When I look away from his face, I face forward at the blurry view too. The train stops at a station, and I look down at the people sitting in front of me, which I quickly regret. A girl is sitting directly across from us wearing a 5 Seconds of Summer t-shirt and wide, shocked eyes while she stares at us.

My eyes mirror hers then, wide and nervous. I let go of Calum’s hand quickly and stand up, moving to his other side and holding onto a metal pole instead of holding his hand. Calum looks startled when he stares up at me.

“Are you okay?” He asks, his forehead wrinkling with concern.

I nod, clearing my throat. “Yeah, yeah, fine. Just…” I sigh, trailing off. “There’s a fan, across from you,” I whisper to him as quietly as I can. I feel incredibly self-conscious now, and I don’t want Calum to be so clearly seen with me. I know he’s said — a few times now — that he doesn’t mind being seen with me, but I don’t know how true that can really be. Female fan bases are incredibly powerful and a wonderful thing, but they’re not exactly known for being welcoming or kind to the women seen with their favorite men.

His eyes flit to behind me, up to me, and back behind me. He looks back up at me again. “Just a sec.”

Calum then stands up, walking the handful of steps over to the fan. I don’t watch, but I’m sure she’s peeing her pants. “Hi, I’m Calum,” I hear him say.

I think he sits down next to her, but I’m too scared to look.

“I know,” she squeaks out.

“Do you want to take a picture?”

“If you don’t mind, I don’t want to bother you.”

“Nah, of course you’re not bothering me,” he says in his normal kind voice. “Here, want me to take it?”

They’re quiet for a moment, taking their pictures, I’m guessing.

The intercom then announces that we’ve gotten to our destination. I turn around then, both Calum and his fan standing up as well. Calum grins at me and holds out his hand for me to take. Instead of taking it, I clasp mine together and just start walking off the train. I just try to avoid the gaze of the fan and walk quickly, following the signs for the exit.

When I make it to the street, I turn around, finding Calum struggling to catch up to me. He looks confused.

“What was that?” He asks. He’s laughing slightly, but his eyebrow is still quirked.

“Sorry, I just…” I don’t know how to finish my sentence. I feel my forehead wrinkle with anxiety. I don’t know how to explain it to him.

His eyes soften and his expression returns to a slightly more neutral one. I think he’s willing to drop it, so I take my chance and run with it.

“Which way are we going? I don’t want you to be late.”

Calum nods, pulling his phone out to check the directions. “This way,” he says, and we start walking.

As we walk, I look around at the crowd around us. There is a sea of people wearing flannels, black clothes, and 5 Seconds of Summer merch. They all seem too busy with whatever they’re doing, and I don’t see any eyes on Calum, so I take advantage of our chance to camouflage him. I take my hat off and stop, stand in front of him, and put my hat on his head. I grab his sunglasses from where he has them hanging on his shirt and hold them in front of his face.

He chuckles, putting on the glasses.

“No one will ever know it’s you. You’re unrecognizable.”

“Am I allowed to hold your hand in incognito mode?”

I’ve let him hold my hand all day, and he’s kissed me in public, so I don’t know that I should really be so weird about it now. It’s just the eyes boring into me at such a close proximity. I feel watched and judged, and I haven’t even done anything wrong.

“Maybe another time,” I say quietly. I feel guilty. I want him to hold my hand, but I don’t want an army of haters to follow me around for holding a guy’s hand for a few minutes.

We walk in silence, and I’m acutely aware to the presence of Calum’s hand on the small of my back while he guides me to the unmarked side of the building where I assume Matt said to meet him. We pass a handful of security guards, which Calum takes off his sunglasses for so they can see his face. They all just nod as we walk by.

As soon as we’re out of the view of the crowds of fans, I grab Calum’s hand again.

“It just feels very… smothering,” I say while we walk. “To have all of those eyes on me for just existing in your presence.”

“I’m sorry,” Calum says. “You don’t have to do anything you want to do, and that applies to far more than just holding hands.”

I squeeze his hand gently. “I know. I just don’t want you to get any negative backlash for holding some random girl’s hand.”

Calum squeezes my hand back. “I think I can handle it.” He gives me a jokingly cocky smile.

We walk into the back door of the arena, which, as we walked around it, is absolutely massive. So many people will be here tonight, and I get to be backstage? It’s somewhat unbelievable.

As soon as we’re inside, I can hear the hoots and hollers of the rest of Calum’s band. I got to meet them for a bit back in Madrid. They’re all very nice, but very loud and rowdy. Which, to be fair, makes sense considering they’re all roughly 20 years old and famous and somewhat rich. They can kind of do whatever they want.

“Has anyone seen Calum?” I hear one of them ask from some distance away. I don’t know their voices well enough to know which one it was and I don’t know exactly where they are. I’m just following Calum’s lead.

“He’s with that girl, Orion, today, remember?” Another one says.

“Oh! Right,” the first one replies. “She’s—“

They stop talking as Calum and I enter the room, and I am glad I don’t get to know how that sentence is going to end. I don’t think I want to know.

“Orion!” The blonde one, Luke, calls out when he sees us. “You made it!”

I smile at him and he’s running over to me, wrapping me into a tight hug. “Hi, nice to see you again.” I’m still tethered to Calum with my hand in his. I’d let his hand go but he’s got a tight grip on mine.

“Pssh, no need to sound so formal,” Luke says, letting me go.

“It is nice to see you again!” I argue.

Michael and Ashton also come over to give me hugs.

“Did you guys have fun today? Cal told us all about his plans,” Ashton says, looking back and forth between Calum and me.

I nod, smiling up at Cal. “Yeah, it was great.”

“It’s a miracle you guys are back on time. Calum is known for getting lost,” Michael tells me and laughs while Calum turns slightly pink.

Luke throws an arm around Calum’s neck, yanking him towards him. “Y’know how people have ‘Find My iPhone’? We need ‘Find My Calum.’”

“Well, if he’s with me I promise to get him where he needs to be on time.”

“I knew I liked you,” Matt dryly says from across the room. It’s probably the nicest thing the man has ever said because all of the guys look awestruck from the comment.

“C’mon, let’s sit down. We’ve got some time before soundcheck.” Calum pulls me toward the black sectional in the corner of the room. He flops onto it, kicking his feet up on the coffee table littered with empty beer bottles, Red Bull cans, solo cups, and a half empty bottle of vodka.

I don’t flop onto the couch, but I do sit next to him, letting him wrap an arm around me so I’m pressed into his side. It’s nice to be this close to him.

“Do you guys want a drink? We’ve got beer here but there’s other stuff they can grab for us if you want it.” Ashton calls out to us while bending over a cooler.

“I’ll do a beer!” I yell over to him and he nods, reaching into the cooler.

“Same, thanks, Ash!”

Luke jumps over the back of the couch to join us, but he’s so lanky that he ends up knocking over some of the bottles and cups on the table with the flailing of his limbs flying through the area. What looks like mystery liquid pools on the floor, some combination of beer, vodka, Red Bull, and some mysterious blue liquid.

“Seriously, Luke?!” Ashton yells. He’s laughing, holding three bottles of Stella Artois in his hands. He gives two to Calum, who hands one to me.

“This is what happens when you let me take four shots of vodka and shotgun a Red Bull at 2 in the afternoon!”

Jesus, I think. I know they’re used to partying and Luke isn’t exactly a small person, but still. Luke is off the couch again, walking around the room. He returns with a large handful of paper towels to clean up his mess. While Luke mops up the traces of beer and Red Bull from the table and the floor, Michael and Ashton join us on the couch, still snickering about Luke’s clumsiness.

I set my beer on the table and decide to help prevent anything else of the sort from happening again, so I start stacking up the solo cups and grab as many cans and bottles as I can hold. I meet Luke at the trash can to drop them in after his soaked paper towels, and he gives me a puzzled look.

“What are you doing?” Luke asks with a chuckle.

“I just thought it would prevent future spills,” I defend myself, going back to the couch to collect the rest, but Calum followed my lead and grabbed what was left.

“It wasn’t your mess to clean, but thank you,” Luke says and he gives me a bright, genuine smile.

When we sit back on the couch, Luke manages to put his feet up on the coffee table without spilling things, and we can all relax for a minute. Calum’s arm is back around me, and I take a few sips from my beer. All of the boys, aside from Cal, are tapping around on their phones. I try to decide if I want to talk to them or just whisper to Calum, which sounds kind of awkward, so I clear my throat.

“What did you guys do today?” I ask.

They all look up at their phones and at each other, surprise written on their faces.

“Not much, really,” Ash says, shrugging. “Got lunch at a place near where we used to live, reliving the glory days.”

“You guys used to live here?” They’re from Australia and they’ve toured a lot in the last few years. When did they live in London? Calum hadn’t mentioned it at all.

“Yeah, not for too long. Before the One Direction era.” Ashton smiles, amused by my surprised expression.

They had to have been babies then but still moved all the way to London for their careers. I can’t imagine my family being OK with shipping me across the world at that age, but I guess it must just be a testament to just how special and talented the four of them are. They were born for this life. Their parents must have known it.

“Anywhere else you’ve lived besides Australia, London, and LA?” I ask. I direct the question at Calum, even though he’s not the one saying anything.

“Cal almost moved to Brazil,” Ashton answers, making Calum shoot him a glare.

I raise my eyebrows. “Brazil?”

Calum flushes pink and avoids my gaze. “Yeah, but it didn’t happen.”

“Well, we moved to London because he didn’t move to Brazil, basically,” Ashton clarifies.

“What the hell was in Brazil?” I ask through slight laughter.

“Football,” Calum replies, the moniker supposedly enough information to explain the whole thing.

“Man, you really don’t know anything about us, do you?” Michael asks. He looks incredibly amused and he’s giggling after his question.

“Oi, Mike, be nice,” Ashton scolds while whacking Michael’s head softly.

“Soccer was in Brazil?” I ask Calum, trying to understand the bigger picture.

“Yeah, I went for some training,” he says. “Was supposed to go back, but decided I’d rather be in a band with these losers instead of playing footy.”

I look around the room at the rest of them, trying to see if any of them care to clarify. He was going to move to Brazil for soccer… like, to play professionally? I go to ask another question, but then a loud group of people walk in, demanding all of our attention.

They all look vaguely familiar, probably because I’ve seen pictures of at least a few of them on Calum’s Instagram. Cal’s bandmates all stand up and greet the crowd, embracing them, making a lot of noise, but Calum stays seated right next to me.

“Do you need to go say hi to them?” I ask. When I look at him, I find he’s staring at me.

“No, I was with most of them last night,” he shrugs.

I nod, glancing quickly back over at the people. The other three boys are totally swallowed by the mass of their friends. I look back to Cal and he’s inched his face closer to mine.

“I was supposed to go pro,” he says quietly. “With soccer, I mean. My parents were pissed when I told them I wanted to do this instead.”

“I’m sure they’re happy with the decision now.”

He grins, leaning a few inches forward so he can kiss me. It’s swift and short, but it’s still as sweet as can be. “Are you always like this?”

I furrow my brow. “Like what?”

“Always making the person you’re talking to feel like the most important person in the room.”

Then it’s my turn to blush. My cheeks get hot and I look away from Calum nervously. I try to always include people and ask questions, but I know sometimes it doesn’t come off well and it seems like I’m being annoying. It’s a relief that Calum thinks positively of my conversational habits.

“I like learning about you,” I confess. “And the rest of them. You’re all fun.”

Calum nods and then kisses me again. “Learning about you might just be my new favorite thing.”

My heart soars and I have to look away. If I look into his eyes, I’ll be a goner. I’ll be totally obsessed with this guy. He’s saying and doing all of the right things to get me to like him, and I have to protect myself. This is just temporary, while they’re touring Europe.

“Who are all those people?” I ask him, looking down at my lap.

He sighs. “It’s a mix of some of our music friends from LA, a few people we knew when we lived here, uh… oh, Mike’s girlfriend, Crystal. She’s the one with purple hair. There’s a girl Luke’s dating here, too.” Calum leans closer, so his mouth is by my ear. “But none of us like her,” he whispers.

I laugh slightly, but since I don’t know the girl I don’t want to base my opinions on just what Calum has said. “Which one is she?”

Cal laughs somewhat bitterly. “Don’t worry, you’ll know.”

I look over at the group of people and try to find Crystal and this other girl. Crystal I spot easily since, like Calum had mentioned, she has purple hair. She’s tall and pretty, with a sweet smile and light eyes, talking to Michael and another couple of guys. One I recognize as one of the members of the opening act. Then I look to Luke and find a tall girl with dark hair draped over him while he talks to a few of the other people. Got it. That’s the one that’s dating him. She’s not looking at any of the people huddled with, just clinging to Luke and standing there.

When I look back to Crystal to try to get a better look at her, she’s looking at me. Michael is saying something to her, and when she notices me looking her way, she smiles and waves. I smile and wave back awkwardly. Crystal then turns to Michael, puts a hand on his arm, and says something to him quickly before she walks over to the couch, sitting a few feet away from Cal and me and still smiling.

“Hi! I’m Crystal,” she says.

“Oh, hi! I’m Orion.”

Crystal smiles. “Oh, I know. This one won’t stop blabbing on about you and that club. What was it called again?” She directs the question to Calum, who looks embarrassed by her comment.

“Space Monkey,” I say for him. “My roommate’s girlfriend is a bartender there.”

She nods. “Such a weird name. Sorry, I would’ve said hi at the Madrid show, but wasn’t sure if it would have been overwhelming.”

I look to Calum, who hadn’t mentioned that there were other guests at the Madrid show. We only hung out with the band itself and my roommates. After the show, Calum and I went back to his hotel and my roommates went out with the band. None of them really remembered much the next morning, but they did say they had a fun time.

Crystal seems to know what I’m thinking and explains everything for Calum. “We hung out in the VIP viewing area that night, and when we went out after, I did get to meet your roommates. They were all so sweet, but we were all pretty wasted, so not sure if they remember it.”

“Sorry, I should’ve mentioned you could hang in the VIP section,” Calum apologizes. “I figured you’d prefer the pit.”

I laugh nervously. “Yeah, I do prefer the pit, but just feel bad if we kept you guys out of the backstage area that evening.”

Crystal shakes her head. “No, you were totally fine! We just went out for dinner before the show.”

I just nod. I didn’t realize they all had such a large entourage.

“I’m glad we get to meet you this time,” Crystal adds, still smiling very kindly at me. “Is this your first time to London?”

Calum has his arm around me and is lightly tracing shapes into my side and I’m at ease with his presence. Crystal isn’t scary or anything, but she seems eons cooler than I’ll ever be and she’s far prettier than I am. She also just seems to have it all together. I’m trying to make a good first impression.

“It is,” I answer. “I love it. Yours?”

She shakes her head. “No, I’ve been a few times, but I love it too. Anyway, I didn’t mean to interrupt you guys, just wanted to pop over and say hi. Come find me during soundcheck if you want someone to hang out with.”

I smile at her graciously. “Thank you, I probably will.”

Crystal gets up then and walks back over to Michael, who greets her by wrapping an arm around her waist while they pick up their conversation with their friends. The whole lot of them seem to mesh together like they’ve spent a lot of time with each other. It’s just crazy because there are so many of them.

“Wait, doesn’t your sister live in London?” I ask suddenly, realizing Calum’s sister doesn’t seem to be in the crowd. I look back at him and he giggles.

“She does, but she’s in LA right now.”

I sigh with relief. Meeting all these random people is a lot, but meeting Calum’s sister would be even more intense. She’s family. She’s not someone you introduce to a girl you met at a nightclub a few days prior that you hooked up with and invited to another show.

“What’s she like?” I ask. Calum smiles at the question, a light appearing in his brown eyes.

“She’s amazing. An incredible songwriter and singer. She’s kind, and she’s like a big sister to all of us, really. She’s my best friend. I’d do anything for her.”

“What’s her name?”

“Mali-Koa, but we just call her Mali.”

I look down at his arm, the name familiar because of the tattoo there. I trace the outline of the bird. “Like your tattoo.”

He nods. “Yes, like my tattoo,” he says. “Do you have siblings?”

I grin, instantly seizing my chance to show him pictures of my brother and getting my phone out. “I have a little brother. He’s four. His name is Eridanus, but we just call him Eri. He’s the sweetest boy ever.”

I pass Calum my phone with the album of photos with Eri and me lighting up the screen. He scrolls through, stopping at the one where Eri smeared brownie batter on my face and we both were laughing uncontrollably.

“You guys are cute,” Cal comments, handing my phone back.

“Boys, stage in 5!” Matt appears out of nowhere and disrupts the entire room’s conversations.

There’s a collective groan and Calum downs most of his beer quickly before he kisses my cheek, saying he’s gotta use the bathroom and will see me after soundcheck.

“You’ll be okay back here, right? You can also come watch, but it’s usually pretty boring. Or I can give you some cash if you want to go grab a coffee nearby or something?”

“I’ll be fine,” I tell him. He gives me a grin before he runs off.

I decide to take Crystal up on her offer and make my way over to her. She lights up as I approach her, her smile widening.

“Can I hang out with you for a bit?” I ask.

“Of course,” she says. “Here, I’ll introduce you to everyone.”

Crystal guides me through the group like I’m a show pony. I try to remember everyone’s names but it’s a total lost cause. Everyone is pretty nice, but some are more interested in meeting me than others. I don’t blame them — I’m sure there’s a fairly consistent rotation of people coming through this group in my shoes. It might not be worth trying to really connect with girls like me.

After I’ve met everyone, she shows me where the bathroom is and where I can get food if I’m hungry. Then, we head to the side of the stage so we can watch soundcheck. She takes me to Calum’s side of the stage instead of Michael’s, saying she sees it almost every night, so missing it this once isn’t that big of a deal. He looks surprised, but pleasantly, when he notices us, waving at me. I give him a thumbs up.

The soundcheck lasts for about an hour, and they play a few songs that they didn’t play at the Madrid show. I’ve tried to study their discography over the past few days, but I haven’t been able to learn everything yet, so I don’t know which songs are which. When I get a glimpse of Crystal’s face while we watch, she looks so proud.

“How long have you guys been together?” I ask her as we walk back to the dressing room.

Crystal laughs. “We’ve been friends for a while, but officially together for about 6 months.”

“So you’re used to… all this? By now?”

She laughs again and shakes her head. “I don’t think it’s something you ever get used to.”

I’m opening my second bottle of beer when the boys come backstage again, Calum coming straight to me. Crystal winks at me when he approaches and ducks away to catch up with Michael. I spin around to face Calum.

“You don’t have to come straight to me, you know,” I tell him. He’s taking a few gulps of his own fresh beer.

“You’re my guest,” he defends. “I’m not just gonna leave you hanging.”

I roll my eyes. “I can fend for myself.”

Calum laughs quietly. “Trust me, I know you can.”

I raise an eyebrow at him and take a swig of my beer. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Hmm, I don’t know, maybe that you moved to a country you’ve never been to alone? You navigated two international airports alone and the transit systems? Hell, Matt likes you. That’s something.”

“It’s not that hard. You just follow signs.”

Now Calum rolls his eyes. “Let me talk you up, please.”

I bite my tongue, holding back on making a snarky comment. Instead, I do my best to smile at him somewhat sweetly. “Fine.”

He kisses me again then and when he pulls back he grabs my hand in his, pulling me away from the mass of people and out the door. Once outside, he turns us around a corner so we’re away from the bodyguards and crew. As soon as we’re out of everyone’s sight, he grabs my hips and gently pushes me against the cinder block wall with his beer bottle pressed against my side.

Calum grazes his lips against mine, hovering without making full contact. I take matters into my own hands and wrap my arms around his neck to pull him down and kiss him, but my beer bottle, slick with condensation, slips out of my hand and crashes onto the pavement, shattering.

“Shit!”

Calum falls into a fit of laughter, stepping back to assess the mess I’ve just made. “What is it with you and spilling drinks?!”

read next chapter

a/n: not that i need to justify it but flashback chapters serve as some relief for all the weight of everything going on and also i want people to LOVE orion and cal together. that's the bigger goal ofc.

#5sos #5 seconds of summer #calum hood #luke hemmings #ashton irwin #fanfiction #michael clifford #fanfic #5sosfam #imagine #calum x oc #calum x ofc #calum hood fanfic #calum hood imagine

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blenderhemmings · 5 months

Text

sneaking around (calum hood)

calum hood x non binary!oc (they/them)

summary: sneaking around and fucking their tour photographer was NOT part of calums plan, but maybe its just what he needs

word count: 3524

warnings/rating: explicit (18+ minors do not interact), hooking up, awkward sexual situations, enthusiastic consent, OC is their tour photographer, calum had a slut era, whoops he got caught, insta love? maybe? idk, at least from calums pov, OC is demiromantic but also a slut, the OC is non-binary AFAB, a good amount of cock, sub!Calum, but hes actually a switch in this universe, dom!OC

notes: this oc was created by my friend and i for a large and queer fanfic universe we've been building for OVER a year. some quick visual pointers of the OC: theyre 6'2, have split dyed black-blue hair, a lot of tattoos, and dress in a lot of gothic-punk black outfits (platforms are a must).

this fic is cross posted to my AO3

It was their last meeting before the tour and Calum was fidgety to say the least. He couldn’t keep his eyes off the tall, dark haired, and heavily tattooed person sat across the table from him. His knee bounced as people kept talking, waiting anxiously for the person to be introduced to them.

“And this is Archer. They’ll be your photographer on this tour. We’re sorry the other photographer had to cancel on us last minute, but Archer is a wonderful photographer.” Their tour manager said, motioning towards the now named person. Calums eyes lit up, a smile spreading across his face as he leaned across the table to shake their hand.

“Archie works just as well.” They said, a soft smile slipping across their face, shaking hands with Ashton and then Calum. “I actually prefer that. I’m excited to meet the four of you, and I’m so sorry it’s last minute.”

Calum kept a laser focus on Archie, watching their every move as they talked with the rest of the band and crew. He was transfixed on their movements, unsure of what lured him in. Was it the fact he’d really never met anyone as tall as him? Could it be the split dye hair, their soft facial features, or even the large amount of tattoos littering their body? He’d never know, but he knew that he wanted to shake their hand again, just as an excuse to hold it.

He was confused by his feelings. This was someone he just met, he shouldn’t feel this way. He was used to the casual hook up in LA. Using Tinder and Bumble to meet anyone looking for something casual. Fuck buddies, one night stands, and month long flings were his best friend. He’d never wanted to settle down, but he was always looking for a good fuck. It didn’t matter who it was, as long as he was getting that sexual fix.

Once the tour began, Calum started to notice that Archie was a distraction. He’d fumble during soundcheck, watching them walk around the venue to find vantage points. He’d miss a note here and there or trip over his own feet when he saw them in the photo pit. His reaction was worse the closer Archie got to him, quietly hyperventilating and struggling to keep his composure.

They were about four shows deep when Archie pulled Calum aside, “Hey, Cal, question. When we get back to the hotel, can you come to my room? I need your help picking photos of you for the show recap post.” They smiled, leaning back in the chair a bit, scrolling through the photos, picking the ones to set aside and show Calum later that night. “We don’t have time here, so just meet me in my room, yeah?”

Calum nodded, fingers tugging at the hem of his shirt, trying to hide the anxious look on his face. “I- uh, yeah, I can do that. You’re in room 687, right?” “678, actually. Don’t go knocking for a stranger. I don’t think that’s one of our rooms.” They laughed, closing their laptop and shoving it in their backpack, zipping it up and checking through their camera bag one last time, accounting for all their equipment. Archie got up and patted Calum’s arm, walking out of the room. He was lost in thought and left in the unknown until he’d be meeting up with Archie later that night.

He didn’t go to their room right away. Calum found himself lingering in Michaels room, fighting with himself about getting up to go see the photos. “Dude, why is hanging out with Archie eating you alive? It’s literally to ask you about some photos, relax.” Michael grabbed Calum's shoulders from behind, squeezing him a little, “Unless somebody has a little crush or something.”

“Why do you think I have a crush on them? I barely know them and I don’t want to like anybody like that either. I’m fine being single for now. You know fucking around is what I do best.” Calum sighed, feeling Michaels hand on his shoulder, squeezing it slightly. “Not every interaction I have with people like this is because I like them.”

“Yeah, but you’ve never acted this way with anyone else.” Calum went red with Michael’s words. He wasn’t wrong, but Calum was scared for him to be right.

“I- Shut up! It’s just photos, I’m just going to help Archie pick out some photos, I’ll be back.” Calum sighed, getting up from the chair in Michael’s room, and heading towards Archie’s. Maybe Michael was right, he had the slightest crush, but it was nothing worth acting upon. They only met a month ago and he barely knew anything about Archie. All he knew was that they were the in-house photographer for a venue in their hometown, had at least 50 tattoos, and they both used the same blue hair dye.

His knock was weak, but Archie heard it. There was shuffling on the other side of the door, and then their voice. “Didn’t I give you a keycard?” Calum panicked, digging through his wallet, only for it not to be there. All he had was his own keycard, bank cards, tour laminate, and a bit of cash.

“Uh… I forgot it? I came from Michael’s room. Let me in, please?” Calum asked, flipping through his cards again, checking that he didn’t miss it. Archie laughed, unlocking the door and opening it for Calum. “T-thanks. So… Those photos?”

“Right, the photos.” Archie was antsy, bouncing back and forth on their feet before sitting on the edge of the bed. Calum understood the emotion though, he couldn’t imagine being placed into a new environment, forced to get the band's best angles and post their work for millions to see. “Those… they're… let me grab my laptop.”

They dug around in their bag for the hard drive and their laptop, pulling both out to go through the photos with him. “Why… why just me? Don’t you have to ask the others too?”

“I have the most photos of you, so it’d be easier to get it out the way now. I have time with them tomorrow. I need good photos of you, yanno?” Calum nodded at Archie’s words, sitting on the edge of the bed, watching the photos appear on the screen before him. Archie had a good eye and Calum was glad management was able to get them to be their photographer. “Are there any you see right away that you want for sure or any you want deleted?”

Calum shook his head, watching Archie scroll through the hundreds of photos, many looked like they were taken in bursts.

“Can I have some of these?” He pointed to the black and white photos on the screen.

“Yeah, those are already edited. There was a bright blue light behind you and it was hard to save it, so I made it black and white.” Calum nodded as if he knew anything about photo editing. “I messed with the white balance and exposure to try to take away from how bright the light is, but black and white saved it.”

Archie closed their laptop, placing it on the nightstand, hands folding in their lap, swallowing the lump in their throat. “Uh… this is… this is poorly timed, but can I kiss you?” Calum went cold, goosebumps forming on his arms, eyes wide. It’s like the world froze as his chest went heavy. “God, that’s a dumb question. We barely know each other, let's just get back to the photos.”

Calum shook his head, leaning into Archie, one hand on their thigh, the other unsure where to sit. “That’s not a dumb question, you’re just scared.” Calum leaned in further, pressing his forehead against theirs and then his lips to theirs as well.

He’d kissed hundreds of people in the last few months, but nothing was as good as this. Nobody ever tasted as sweet as Archies vanilla-orange chapstick or smelled as good as their cologne. The kiss progressed quickly, Archie knocking Calum down onto the bed, taking full control.

“C-can I?” Calum nodded, feeling a cold hand slip under his shirt, going towards his chest and then back down to the hem to pull it away from his skin. “I- Uh… My shirt’s gonna… it’s gonna stay on. Is that okay?” Calum nodded again. He didn’t care how clothed Archie stayed, he just wanted their lips and whatever else they were willing to give him.

Shortly after, shoes, socks, and pants made their way to the floor, leaving Calum almost bare, and Archie their shirt and boxers. “Fucking Christ, do something, would you?” Calum whined, feeling Archie’s cold hand press against his skin again, this time on his stomach, creeping towards the waistband of his boxers.

“Be polite and use your words, would you?” Archie teased, fingers going under Calums waistband, snapping it against his skin before tugging it away from his skin, making him yelp. “And be quiet, nobody needs to hear us.” Calum was exposed at this point, Archie straddling him to keep him in place on the bed, one hand resting firmly on his pelvis, the other resting on the mattress. “Quiet, Calum.”

Calum nodded, nothing but a squeak escaping his lips. “Y-yes, please- fuck, please stop teasing me and do something.” The noise got louder as their hand wrapped around the base of his cock, free hand going for his mouth to quiet him down. His instinct was to bite, but not hard. It was just enough to keep himself quiet. A smile crept across Archie’s lips, breathing heavily from making out just moments prior.

“There you go, Cal, just like that. Nice and quiet.” Archie laughed a little, twisting their hand around Calum’s cock, making him yelp and whimper into their hand again. Once Calum had control of his volume, Archie pulled their hand from his lips, only shushing him if he got loud again, which proved to be easy with them on top.

“I want more… please.” Calum whined, feeling Archie’s hand move along his cock. “I want to fuck you, please, Archie.” And everything stopped for a second. Calum was terrified he said the wrong thing, scared that Archie was three seconds away from kicking him out of their hotel room, but they weren’t. “Please, that’s all I want.”

It took Archie a minute to process what Calum said, swallowing the lump of anxiety in their throat. It had been a while for Archie, so it felt new again. “All you want, yeah? How about we make a deal. You get to fuck me, but I get control. Or is that too uncomfortable for you?” Calum shook his head quickly, he would take anything at that point. He wanted to touch Archie in ways he’s never touched anybody else. He felt an instant and true connection that never appeared with anyone else.

But a sudden silence fell over Calum. Sure, he’d had plenty of flings and one night stands with trans people before, but he didn’t want to fuck this one up. It almost felt invasive to ask Archie how to fuck them. Would they have a preference? What if they didn’t want the same thing as him?

“Earth to Calum? I’m not making you uncomfortable, am I? We’ll only do this if you want this.” Archie asked, hand waving in front of his face a little. “You’re not lost in thought, are you?” Calum shook his head a little, he was, but he didn’t want to admit it. “Is it about how you’ll fuck me? I promise that’s a normal thought. We’ve never done this before, I promise it’s okay.”

Archie smiled softly, hand resting on Calums stomach, rubbing their thumb gently over his skin. “I don’t really have a preference, but I know one will be easier than the other.” He nodded, hands moving from the mattress to their hips, body tense as a wave of awkwardness hit him. He felt like it was such a dumb question, even though he needed to ask it. “I promise nothing you’re asking is dumb, Calum. You’re making sure I’m comfortable, and I appreciate that. This could be a one time thing, or it could be something more, and you don’t want to hurt me.”

They pushed their weight against Calum again, pushing him further up the bed, head closer to the headboard, hands going to his wrists to pin him down. “O-Okay.” His voice was shaky, but he was sure this is what he wanted. “I want this, I really do.” Calum’s brain was almost on autopilot at this point, hands going to their hips, resting on the elastic of their boxers. “Can I?”

“Of course, I’ve been waiting for you to do that from the second you walked into the room.” Both of them chuckled, Archie lifting away from Calum to kick off their underwear, the laughter turning a bit uneasy as their boxers caught around their ankle. “Fuck, that wasn’t hot.” “I don’t care. You’re naked how I want and need, that’s hot enough.” Calums hand went for Archie’s crotch, stopping himself to ask, “Can I… Can I touch you?” The room went silent again, Calum terrified he’d crossed yet another boundary. “I just wan-” Archie grabbed his hand, guiding it further down their body and to their crotch.

“Stop asking questions and thinking you’re overstepping. I’d tell you otherwise. Now, please touch me. I want this just as bad as you, Calum.” He whined, feeling the wet warmth against his fingers as Archie let go of his hand. He lapped his fingers around, dragging them up and down before curling in softly. Archie let out a soft moan, immediately collapsing onto his chest, almost knocking the wind out of Calum. Their head rested on his shoulder, mouthing at the skin, “Fuck, please. More of that. Just like that, please, Cal.”

As Calum continued, he pushed Archie's head up to kiss them, letting them moan against his lips, a knot of warmth forming in his stomach. He couldn’t pull away just yet, but he was sensitive and he needed Archie’s touch once again. “Fuck,” he groaned against their lips, forehead pressing against theirs, two fingers curled inside of them, “I want you.” He whined, sliding his fingers out, a small look of concern taking over his face, unsure what to do with his damp fingers.

Archie grabbed at his wrist, bringing his hand up between them, lips to his fingers to suck them clean. “There, that’s all it took.” they smiled, licking the stringy substance from their lips, “I have no condoms, just so you know.” “O-oh. Nor do I. Do… Do we stop here?” Calum’s voice was weak, but Archie shook their head at his words, hand moving to hold his jaw, forcing him to look back in their direction.

“Unless you want to, absolutely not. You didn’t just make out with me and finger me for nothing. We only stop if you want to stop.” Calum whined at the grip to his jaw, shaking his head that he wanted to continue. “That’s what I thought, baby. If it eases your mind, I’ve been on birth control for years and with a decent amount of people who could… yanno, but it’s never happened, so I don’t think we have to worry.”

“Y-Yeah. Fuck, I want you, Archie.” Calum whined, letting them resituate themself on top of his body, knees resting on each side of his torso. “You’re sure, right?”

“I wouldn’t be half naked, literally inches from letting your cock in me, if I didn’t want this, Calum.” Archie laughed a little, one hand grabbing at Calum’s cock under them, guiding it and letting themself slowly sink down. “God- Fuck, Cal.” They gasped, knees giving out a little as they let him go deeper.

It wasn’t just Archie who whined, Calum did too. The touch to his cock and the feeling of Archie sinking down felt so good. His hands reached for their waist, grabbing tight, a loud and long hiss leaving his lips. “You feel— fuck!”

Archie let out a deep moan, hands resting on Calum’s chest, digging their fingers in ever so slightly. “That’s it, baby. Rock your hips just like that. Let me do the hard work.” As Calum moved with them, he whimpered at the sensation on his chest. “Just like that, baby. Feels good, doesn’t it?” They rocked slowly at first, hips digging into his, only picking up the pace once they settled and Calum was ready.

He yelped as Archie bounced, feeling their knees against his waist, panting heavily. He’d had his fair share of sexual partners, so being on the bottom was nothing new, but this level of control was. “Go on baby, tell me how this feels. Does it feel good, sweetheart?”

Calum nodded, panting, head thrown back into the pillows as he spoke, “Feels good. You feel good, Arch. Fuck- feels so good.” He was a disaster at that point. His skin was warm, cheeks flushed, forehead sticky with sweat. His lips were parted, leaning up towards Archie, “K-Kiss me, please.” He begged, feeling their sweaty forehead press to his.

Their lips connected momentarily, noses brushing against each other as the kiss got passionate. “You wanna cum, baby? Wanna feel so much better?” He nodded again, feeling the heat building up in his body once again, heart racing. “Let me take care of you then, don’t move.”

Archie worked quickly, nails digging into his chest again, picking up the pace. Their lips touched as they both moaned, Calum struggling hard. “Fuckfuckfuck” He whined, pressing his head into their chest, fingers pressed against their shirt, nails digging into their hips, “G-Gonna cum, fuck, fu-”

Calum choked on his words as his vision blurred, his minimal thrusts turning sloppy, hips meeting Archies at a painfully slow pace. Their orgasm wasn’t far behind, all it took was a few more thrusts and they were moaning into his neck, blush crawling up their neck and into their cheeks.

The silence quickly turned into soft giggles, Archie’s full weight on Calum, foreheads pressed together, refusing to move from the position they were in. Cum dripped out of Archie and onto the base of Calum’s cock. “Holy shit,” Archie gasped, hands moving back to his chest once again. “God, you felt so good.”

His giggle faded, turning into a soft chuckle instead, head resting in the crook of Archie’s neck, whining at any slight movement, as if it would send him into another orgasm. “S-so did you. Fuck… Can we do that again sometime?”

“So long as we don’t get caught sneaking around.” Archie let out a soft moan, pulling off Calum’s cock, whining at the emptiness and cold feeling on the inside of their legs. They grabbed the pile of clothes and shoes on the floor, separating them out, handing Calum his clothes. “It’s the last thing we want.”

His head was in the clouds, but he understood what Archie meant, “Y-yeah. You’re right. Text me after your shower? I still want those photos. Can I have a towel or something. I don’t wanna get my clothes messy.” “Oh, yeah. Sorry, I forgot about that.” They walked off for a minute, grabbing a small hand towel from the sink and handing it to Calum to wipe himself down. He threw the towel to the side, slipping on his boxers, followed by his pants, zipping them up and putting on his shirt afterwards.

“Th- Is this what’ll happen every time you want to show me photos?” “Maybe, maybe not. Just go take your own shower and I’ll text you, okay? I enjoyed this. It felt nice. I want more of it.” Archie motioned their hands to the bed, then Calum, then themself.

Calum nodded, brushing his hands down his shirt to straighten it out, turning to the full length mirror to fix his hair. “I do too, Archie. I should… I should go before someone catches me.”

“If anything, we were looking at photos. There was a lot… so it makes sense it took a while.” They smiled, walking towards the bathroom as he walked towards the door to the hall. “Photos, with a side of sex and making out.” He nodded again, listening for anyone walking past so he wouldn’t get caught.

The door clicked shut behind him and he scurried down the hall to his room, head turning like an owl in every direction to make sure nobody saw. Every shadow and rustle of sheets behind doors scared him, thinking it was someone who heard the whole thing.

“You look like a deer in fuckin’ headlights, mate.” Michael laughed, tapping Calum on the shoulder as he unlocked his door.

“You bastard!” Calum yelped, dropping his phone and wallet. “I thought you’d be asleep already.”

“It’s only 2am… You’re lucky if I’m asleep by three. So… How did looking at those photos go?”

Calum's brain stopped. He couldn’t lie to his best friend, but he had to, he was not getting caught sneaking around.

#5sos #5 seconds of summer #5sos fanfic #5ssos smut #5sos blurb #5sos imagine #calum hood #calum hood fanfic #calum hood smut #calum hood blurb #calum hood imagine #queer!sos #lgbtq 5sos

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mayve-hems · 4 years

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jet black heart is underrated

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hoochieforcalum · 4 years

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Above the City | c.t.h.

this sounds random but can you do a ceo!Cal and you’re his assistant (plus sized) & he finds out maybe you’re a Virgin bc of a convo they guys you spark up (even though you’re shy) and steamy shirt starts happening in his office 🥵

so, this was originally supposed to be apart of my plus size blurb weekend, but I loved this concept so much that I decided to make an entire OC fic based off of it -aliencal

ceo!calum x oc elle (she is plus sized!)

warnings: smut,,maybe some angst,,typos for sure

word count: 6k+

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“It’s going to be another long day Liz.” Elle sighed into her phone as she turned the corner. Her heels clicked against the concrete sidewalk as she strutted her way to the coffee shop. She could feel the cotton material of her plaid pencil skirt flapping against her knee, causing her to grow slightly irritated at the feeling. She knew that the skirt hardly fit her thick size, but considering she hadn’t the time to do her laundry this week, the skirt was the only thing she could find that made her look remotely business-like.

She heard Liz sigh over the phone, “Again? This guy has got you working all hours. Doesn’t he let you sleep?” Elle could feel a smile taking over her lips as she yanked open the door to the coffee shop. The sound of fresh coffee beans grinding together in the machine was echoing throughout the small, hole-in-the-wall shop, blocking out the indie music that was playing softly over the stereo for a small moment before silencing. Elle’s eyes quickly did a scan over of the shop, surveying the lack of customers and quickly coming to the conclusion that the shop was in it’s post-afternoon rush phase. Her analysis was only proven right when she saw the way the barista, who looked to be in high school or a freshman in college, lazily threw the dirty rag into the sink with a heavy sigh.

“Besides the weekend and my breaks, no. But you have to cut him some slack Liz. Christian groups are not letting up.” Elle said as she approached the counter where a young man stood waiting with a pen in his hand. She pulled the phone away from her ear, easily telling the boy the two usual's before lifting the phone back up. She could hear Liz groan.

“And? Why does he need you to help him sort out their hate letters?”

“It’s not just hate letters,” Elle said, throwing a five dollar bill into the jar as a tip before grabbing the cup of large black coffee and walking over to where they had the condiments laid out. She grabbed a french vanilla cream cup and began to add in the mixture. “There is also something going on at one of the branch facilities out East. And I’m his personal assistant Liz. I kind of have to help him with whatever he needs help with, so matter what I think or feel.”

“I know that miss attitude, but sleepless nights for paperwork? Yeah, I’m glad I didn’t join the corporate world.”

A cross between a scoff and a laugh left Elle’s throat, “Well not everyone decides to enter marine biology,” Elle noticed the same male placing the lid on her drink. “Hey, I gotta go okay? Save me something.” Elle quickly pressed the bright red button before grabbing the paper cup from the barista with a soft smile used as a silent thank you. She watched the guy - who looked to be roughly as old as an undergrad - give her a quick wink before wishing her a good day, but not without adding in a very uncomfortable gaze of her body. Elle felt her insides swarm with unease as she walked out the door, knowing fully well that the guy was staring at her backside as she walked. She gave herself a moment before shrugging off the feeling and walking back to her company.

Well, it wasn’t her company per say, but after being behind the scenes for roughly five months now, she felt like it was. But then again, that was the perk of being an intern to Calum Hood.

And Elle technically went above an intern. She was his personal assistant, which meant that she was with him everyday from 8AM to 11PM or until he would dismiss her. Calum was the CEO of Koa Healthcare Clinics, a moderately sized healthcare company that primarily focused on women’s health and reproductive rights, as well as regular treatments and screening for common colds or any other type of infection, virus, or health imperfection. Elle had been keen on getting into the medical world since she was a young girl, and once she heard that there was an opening with a man who had connections to every major hospital all across the United States, she jumped at the opportunity to become his personal assistant. She nearly cried when she found out she was selected, and from that night until the day Elle started as the personal assistant to Calum Hood, she dreamed of the job being filled with meeting top healthcare progressives and interesting new technologies that would advance the system or even see some new laws that he was trying to lobby for.

Instead, Elle got coffee runs, sore feet from walking back and forth between his office, the supply room, and the coffee shop; late nights with take-out and pure silence as she sorted through paperwork for new patients and whatnot while he did his thing; angry men in meetings who talked nothing of healthcare, but rather extension of new clinics; ink on her hands when the printer went askew; cold morning coffee which meant she’d have to brew a new pot; calls from Calum’s partners and meeting setups; setting up appointments for Calum that included dental and dinner plans; misogynistic and sexist coworkers that brag about their achievements in bed during every break and what “slut” they took out the night before; and hate from conservatives and Christian organizations claiming that she’d go to hell for even being associated with a company like Koa Healthcare Clinics.

She got the opposite of what she had dreamed of. Yet, the position paid well, and Elle was in her second year of medical school and needed the money to pay for her education. Alongside, Calum Hood was not the worst person to look at - or be near for that fact.

Elle would describe him as easy on the eyes. The man had a jaw structure that was unmatched, puffy cheeks that only accented and compliment his jaw structure, deep brown eyes that held more color to them when they were lit up in the sun, dark brown hair that softly curled upwards, tattoos on his hands and his left arm that were only shown when his sleeves were rolled up, big, plump lips that looked so soft, and a fit body type that nearly made all the female employees swoon - even Elle, but she wasn’t going to make it known to him. And yet, even though Elle had been, at first, thrown by how good-looking he was, she was even more thrown at the fact that Calum had never taken any of his anger out on her.

He never made Elle do anything in spite of his anger from his daily duties as a CEO, and he never screamed at her when he was upset or frustrated. Instead, his voice was always soft when he spoke to her. He always thanked her for everything she did, paid for every coffee and every take-out meal, made sure that his driver got her home safe before he went home, and always addressed her with respect and never looked down on her. And it shocked her.

She could hear Calum’s angry voice as she stepped into his large office. As per usual with any modernized, big corporate office, he had an entire glass wall that looked out over the city of Los Angeles - she could even see the Santa Monica Pier when it was lit up. His desk was a dark mahogany shade, making his space grey accents stand out. His laptop was open and she saw the way he was angrily staring at his screen as the person on the other end was talking. She quietly set the cup of black coffee down on his desk, but even he caught the movement of her arm and she watched as his eyes quickly snapped up and met hers. He mouthed her a quick appreciative ‘thank you’ before looking back to his screen and paying full attention to the heated conversation that he was having with whoever. Elle turned on her heels and walked over to the plush couch that was the same mahogany color as his desk. The stack of papers regarding new patients was still there from earlier before she had to run to the coffee shop. She let out a soft sigh under her breath and started to sort through them again. Koa Healthcare Clinics was always receiving new patients every day due to how in-expensive the treatment and plans are, but judging by this stack of paperwork, and the way Calum let out an aggravated sigh as he hung up the phone and the sound of the printer started, Elle knew she was going to be here until midnight - at least.

But that’s what typically happened anyways. So at this point, Elle was used to going home late and waking up early the next day to repeat the same cycle.

By the time Elle heard her phone buzz, she noticed that it was nearing 11 p.m., and she promptly set down the paperwork and picked up her phone. She noticed that Liz had texted her, informing Elle that Noah was staying the night and telling her that her leftovers were on a plate in the kitchen, and as Elle picked up her phone to respond, she heard Calum clear his throat.

She felt her insides freeze at how dominant the sound was, and she quickly typed a response.

“Sorry,” Elle mumbled, “It’s just uh, my roommate.” She instantly set her phone back down, and it was then that she registered the feeling of Calum’s stare seeping into her skin. She shifted in her seat and began to flip through the pages of clinic income-reports, quickly removing the cap of the yellow highlighter to figure out which clinic had poor income, but even she knew how shaky her hand was.

And Calum noticed it too.

He had spent the past five months trying to figure Elle out. She was unlike his past personal assistants. The majority of them were always talkative, and were trying to pry into Calum’s lifestyle too much because they were not okay with just sitting in silence during late night hours at the office, and Calum always knew that a majority of the personal assistants that he’s had always tried to get into his pants or at least felt some attraction toward him.

But Elle? Elle straight up confused him.

She rarely said more than a full sentence to him. And that sentence only pertained to the work that they were both doing. Sometimes she’d ask him a question if she noticed how stressed out or upset he was, and sometimes she’d comment on how hateful some people can be in their letters, but Calum would immediately notice how shy she’d be afterwards. He’d notice the way she’d curl back into herself as if to try and pretend that it didn’t happen or that she wasn’t even there in the room. It dawned on Calum that he truly knew nothing about Elle besides her work ethic, and for some reason, deep down inside of him: it bothered him.

Calum would usually know the basics about his personal assistants beyond what their resumes would say. He’d know their favorite color, music, food, coffee - but that one was always a must as he was always drinking it and insisted that his assistants get something for themselves - and other basics like city or dream place. But when it came to Elle, Calum only knew what kind of coffee she liked.

It also bothered Calum because of how much he had taken a liking to Elle due to her nature; almost too much of a liking which only scared yet intrigued him. He had to secretly admit that she was much more beautiful than any other woman that he had laid eyes on. Her hips were the fullest figure that nearly made Calum’s mouth water when he saw her for the first time. Her stomach was round and full but it never bothered her in the way that it would most people. She wasn’t shy about wearing pencil skirts that hugged her figure or shy of her fat rolls whenever she sat - at least not from Calum’s perspective. Her eyes were a dazzling green color that reminded Calum of rolling green hills or of healthy spring green foliage. Her eyelashes were long, so long that she hardly needed to wear mascara so Calum was always so confused as to why she did. Her cheeks were dusted with freckles that were lighter than her dark brown hair, and everytime she smiled, Calum felt his heart speed up at the sight of her dimples. Her lips were almost as puffy as Calum’s own, and he became scared of himself when he spent an entire hour daydreaming of wanting to kiss her.

And he’s been harboring his feelings for three months out of the five that Elle has been here.

It baffled Calum - to say the least. Elle was someone he wanted to know, and he wanted to figure out if she liked him as much as he liked her, because even Calum could see the way her cheeks would become red with blush whenever Calum stood too close to her or the way she would blush whenever she said more than that sentence to him.

“You can take it if you need too.” Calum said softly, watching Elle’s eyebrows furrow at his words as she continued to highlight various clinics - ones that Calum would eventually have to phone and scream at the supervisor for.

“No,” Elle dismissed quickly and flipped the page. “It wasn’t anything important.”

Calum observed her for a moment. Her hair was pulled back into a twisted bun due to the large, black claw hair clip that held it up, and her bottom lip was pulled between her teeth as she continued to do her work. But even Calum could see the blush on her cheeks. He wondered why she never complained about the late night shifts or how much paperwork he threw at her. His past assistants always did to some extent, but not Elle.

“You know,” Calum started, pushing himself out of his chair. “If you ever need to take a break or step out to take care of things with your roommate, you can.” He watched as Elle let out a soft sigh and shook her head.

“Really, it’s fine.” Elle excused, giving Calum a soft smile before looking back down at the paperwork in her lap.

“I’m serious though,” He sat beside Elle on the couch, causing her to immediately freeze up due to his closeness. “I work you way too much. It’s okay to take a break you know.”

Elle was thrown by his sudden, small-talk nature. She easily slid the cap back onto the highlighter before setting it down on her lap.

“Taking breaks doesn’t get the job done.” Elle said softly, swallowing the hard lump in her throat as she turned to look at Calum. She watched as his lips parted softly, a quick intake of breath following shortly after.

“But, constantly working may mean that the work,” Calum said, his voice faltering as he reached his hand forward to take the stapled packet off of Elle’s lap. He watched as her cheeks flared up in a soft blush while he felt his hand brush against her thigh, the material of the pencil skirt separating his skin from hers. “Is not the best work.”

The packet of clinic incomes was gently placed on the coffee table by Calum’s hand. Elle watched him, her own confusion setting into her bones as she tried to figure out what he was doing. He wasn’t usually like this.

“But, doesn’t sitting here talking also take away time to get work done? With all do respect Mr. Hood, why are you over here?”

Calum tried to stifle his laughter at the adorable, yet confused look on her face, “First of all, it’s Calum. And second, I just think you need a break. Come on,” he said and repositioned himself so that his body was facing Elle. “What is your roommate like?”

Elle shrugged at her boss and pursed her lips together as she tried to think of an answer, “She’s like any other roommate.”

“You know that’s not what I meant.”

“She’s loud.”

“And?”

“Bold.”

“And?”

“Pays half the rent.”

“And?”

Elle could feel her frustrations starting to light her skin ablaze, “And she’s going into marine biology because she hates the corporate world. Mr. Hood, this is pointless. Why are you really over here?”

“Is it such a bad thing to want to get to know you?” Calum asked, but even after Elle had just snapped at him, Calum was still able to keep his voice calm and tender. She hadn’t upset him at all; she never does.

Elle scoffed, “No, but we both have work to do.”

“Meaning what?” Calum pushed. He could see how under her skin he was getting, and while that had not been his original intention, he was finding it extra adorable that her cheeks were getting redder due to the blush that kept appearing.

Elle sighed once more, “It’s late, and I am tired. Can you please just let me finish these assignments? Plus you never have wanted to get to know me so why start now?” The two of them stared at each other for what felt like minutes. Calum could feel himself growing enchanted by the way her green eyes never left his brown ones. Her cheeks, tinted with blush as always, looked so soft from the lighting that his office provided. He decided to take his chance, and he slowly reached out his hand to caress her mildly-warm cheek. His thumb dusted over the freckles that resided there before he spoke.

“Because I’m enchanted with you.” His words were a whisper that got lost in the air between them as Elle took them in. She felt her stomach drop, her heart speed up, and all she could do about it was focus on the way that Calum’s thumb ran gently over her bottom lip, his eyes following his own movements as she was trying to register what was happening. Enchanted with her? Impossible. Elle was always the last pick for every male she came across - maybe besides Noah - and no one had ever shown her much interest due to her body shape. She used to hate it, but after realizing that she didn’t need a man to make her happy, Elle eventually let it go. But hearing someone say that they were, at the very least, enchanted with her made her insides grow soft and her heart skip a beat. Although she was able to understand that there is more to her than looks, it was still nice to hear that someone had actually liked her. Maybe it’s a low moment for her for thinking like that, but Elle wasn’t going to dwell on it for too long.

Especially when she felt Calum’s soft lips press against hers.

His pressure was gentle but firm as he moved his lips against hers, deepening the kiss and swiping his tongue against her bottom lip. Elle could feel her body shock back to life as her brain registered who was kissing her. She instantly pulled away from him, the sound of her heartbeat drumming in her ears as she stared at him. Her lips craved his again and even though she knew it was wrong, she wanted to kiss him again, and she could even feel the tiniest bit of ache pooling in her body as she quickly thought about his lips kissing her skin.

“I’m sorry,” Calum said quietly, his hand still on her cheek. “I shouldn’t have done that.” Elle let out a sigh and took her bottom lip between her teeth as she tried to sort out her thoughts. On one hand, this was her boss and this would be completely unprofessional. But on the other, she felt something during the brief kiss that woke her up and made her want more of him and to be with him. She casted her eyes downward toward his lap, wanting to desperately crawl onto it and just kiss him, but she stopped herself when her mind instantly reminded her of her weight.

“Elle?” Her eyes snapped up again to meet Calum’s brown ones that noticeably seemed darker, and when she saw how puffy the quick kiss made his lips, she sighed once more and smiled.

To hell with her weight, and to hell with him being her boss.

Her lips crashed onto Calum’s as she quickly crawled into his lap, letting out soft giggles as she kissed him. Calum felt his heart swoon at the sound of her laughter, but quickly could feel heat rush to his tip when he felt her thick thighs around his body; the way that her soft lips were kissing him with such passion sent him into a frenzy.

God, the amount of times he’s dreamed of having her on top of him.

He became more aggressive with his kisses as she started to get playful - nipping at his bottom lip and laughing when their teeth clashed together - and Calum decided to take measures into his own hands. He slid his hands down her curvaceous and plump body in a sensual way that made Elle moan. Without a second thought and without hesitation, Calum squeezed her backside and slid his tongue into her mouth when she gasped at the feeling. They both fought each other for dominance before Calum finally had enough, pulling away and scooping Elle up into his arms.

“What happened to “we have a lot of work” hm?” He teased as he carried Elle over to his desk, his hands on her backside as she wrapped her arms around his neck to hold herself up.

“You are my work.” Elle replied with a smile.

Calum groaned and removed one of his hands to push the stack of papers off his desk. He gently sat Elle down and cupped her warm cheeks in his hands.

“That was sexy.”

“Really?” Elle asked and used her legs to bring Calum closer to her. “Because I don’t think that made any sense.” The two of them laughed as they kissed again, their lips turned upward in smiles as their teeth clashed together. Each kiss turned more intense than the last, causing heat to pool into Elle’s underwear as Calum’s erection only grew due to the sounds of her soft moans. It got worse for him when she moaned loudly after he found the sweet spot on her neck, the sound nearly causing Calum to moan himself. He started to unbutton her blouse when she stopped him.

“There’s something I have to tell you before you continue,” she said, placing her hands on Calum’s chest to essentially push him away from her. Both of them were out of breath. “I’m a virgin Calum.” Elle expected him to pull away from her and dismiss her, opting to just ignore what happened and allow her to go back to her work - or home. Instead, she smiled softly when Calum pressed a kiss to her forehead.

“If you don’t want me to-”

“Woah okay, let’s not get crazy. I never said I didn’t want you to.”

“So you want me to?”

Elle bit her lip as she looked into Calum’s lust-ridden eyes, “I wouldn’t be on your desk with wet panties if I didn’t.”

Calum scoffed and allowed a smile to form on his lips at her words. He narrowed his eyes at her and hooked his hands around the back of her kneecaps. He pulled her to him with little force and felt the material of the skirt cause resistance.

“Let me do something about that then.”

It all was a blur to Elle. She was lost in her senses as Calum sensually loved on her. They were both so desperate for one another that she had lost herself in the pleasure that came with every tender touch and every feathery kiss that made her feel like she was being worshipped as if she were a Greek goddess. Her blouse was off in record time and her bra was soon to follow, and while Elle couldn’t get enough of his kisses, Calum couldn't get enough of her. Her body was a temple to him. Her rolls, curves, stretchmarks, and body dimples made him go weak at the knees and the sight of the hickies growing on her soft skin, along with the sounds of her moans and whimpers, made blush rush to his tip like never before. Calum could feel himself aching for her, and once his fingers made quick work of the pencil skirt, he wasted no time dropping to his knees. He groaned at the sight of the wet patch where her opening was, and he gently pulled back the cotton material to reveal her dripping core to his hungry eyes. He held himself back at just completely diving in, but the urge only grew when he caught sight of the tiny mound of black hair that rested above her clit. He moaned loudly and brought two of his fingers up to her core, collecting her arousal on his index finger before bringing it back up and putting it into his mouth. Elle sighed at the sight.

“I promise I’m going to make you feel good, my beautiful girl.” Her heart fluttered at his words, her core only growing more wet when she watched him reach up and begin to unbutton his shirt. She was in a daze as she stared at the way the city lights bounced off his caramel skin in all the right ways, the tattoos on his chest immediately sending her hot body into overdrive. She watched as Calum stepped forward in between her legs, reaching forward and grabbing her hands that were previously clutching the edges of his desk. He brought them up to his chest and placed them on his own pecs, proceeding to guide her soft hands down his chest. The amount of sexual tension and want increased in the both of them, Calum savoring the way her nails scratched against his skin and Elle savoring the way her chest and abdomen felt underneath her hands. She watched as Calum dropped back to his knees, causing her hands to slide back up to his body and tangle into his hair as she waited for him to do something. He started sucking at the skin on her thighs, leaving hickies as he made his way towards her center. He continued to tease her, kissing her plump, pussy lips before hungrily attaching his mouth to her core.

Elle was in complete bliss as Calum made slow and sensual work of his tongue. Her body was humming in pleasure as she focused on his tongue, moans leaving her lips as Calum lapped at her dripping core which such measured and rhythmic licks that it made her see stars. The vibrations from his own moans only sent her spiraling into a deep pool of pleasure, and she soon felt the knot of pressure form in her stomach. She tightly clutched his hair and started to grind herself onto his tongue, a moan ripping from both hers and Calum’s throats as she did so. She felt so close to her high and Calum could’ve sworn he had a mini orgasm from the taste and sound of her alone.

“Fuck.” She moaned out and licked her dry lips, her thighs beginning to shake as the pressure only built. She let out a loud whimper as the knot came undone and her thighs shook violently against Calum’s head as her juices flowed out onto his chin. Calum moaned against her clit as he helped her ride out her first orgasm, the feeling of her thighs shaking causing pride to course through his veins as her body jerked from the pleasure that was taking over her body. Calum could feel the pre-cum dripping from his tip as he watched her body finally come to a stop and her thighs slow down to eventually stop shaking. He reluctantly pulled away from her core and stood back up, smiling softly when he saw the smile on her lips and the way her cheeks were overcome with blush for what seemed like the hundredth time that night. Her eyes were closed and her breathing was heavy, signaling to Calum that she was still coming down from her high.

He leaned over her and kissed her forehead, “Come back to me.” His voice was a whisper as she looked down at Elle, noticing the mini-freckles that dusted her eyelids. He pressed a kiss gently to her eyelid before doing the same to the other one; his heart melting when he saw her bright green eyes looking up at him after she opened them slowly.

“Wow,” she giggled and brought his lips to hers. “You really know how to eat.”

Calum let out a booming laugh as he kissed her again and pulled away, reaching into his bottom desktop drawer for the bottle of lube and a condom.

“Yeah well,” Calum sighed as he squirted the lube into his hand before rubbing the liquid onto her core, making sure to put extra around her hole to prepare her for him. “I have been kind of hungry and you naturally are a meal, so excuse me for feasting.” Elle rolled her eyes at him and his playful nature, the nerves of her first time completely gone as she felt so relaxed around Calum. A tiny laugh still managed to escape from her lips the more she thought about his words, but when she saw the size of Calum as he rolled the condom onto his member, she let out a breath of astonishment.

“Still want this?”

“Duh,” she said without a second thought, causing Calum to smile at her sass. Elle groaned and covered her face with her hands and she felt her body flush with embarrassment. “I mean ‘yes’.” Calum chuckled softly and leaned forward again, removing her hands from her face and biting his lip.

“Duh.” He whispered jokingly, but Elle was still able to hear how soft his voice was even when she had made a fool of herself. He kissed her nose before pulling away and using one hand to position himself at her entrance. He ran his tip up and down her folds to collect her arousal before looking up at her once more for clarification. Elle gave him a swift nod, and he gently guided himself into her. She could feel every inch of him stretch her out, causing a stifled moan - practically a squeak - to leave her throat as the pain set in. The lube had made it slightly bearable, but she could still feel the way her core was on fire due to the sudden stretch of Calum’s cock. Calum watched with concerned eyes as Elle’s eyes were tightly shut and her face was contorted in pain as he kept pushing in before pulling out again. Another squeak left her lips as he pushed back in again, but he could tell that it was much more painful due to the way she death-gripped the sides of his desk. Calum tried to help alleviate her pain by grabbing her waist and pulling her off the desk slightly, and once he bottomed out, he waited until he could move.

And once he could, there was no stopping him.

Calum was sure to keep in mind that she wasn’t used to any of this, but the way that her pussy clenched around him sent him into complete excitement. She felt so perfect wrapped around him that he just couldn’t hold back, but judging by the sound of her moans and the way her nails were dragging down his back as he fucked her at a pace that was moderately fast, Calum knew that she was enjoying this as much as he was. He couldn’t get enough of her; the feeling of her skin against him drove him wild and her tight, wet pussy clenching around him made him delirious. Moans were falling from both of their lips as the desk started to scrape against the floor and Calum could start to feel the sweat form on his body. He buried himself deep into her pussy as he chased his high, reaching down to rub Elle’s clit to make sure that she’d reach her own.

“Cal-” Her words were cut off by a loud moan, and Calum let out a deep groan at the way her walls clenched around him as she came. He still fucked her as she juices flowed around his cock, the feeling of her walls and her warm cum around him mixed with her soft skin rubbing against her already-hot skin and her moans echoing around the room caused Calum to come completely undone above her. His load shot into the condom with such force that he saw stars and lost himself in her body as he rode out his high; nothing but heavy breathing replacing his moans once all was said and done. Calum pulled his head out of Elle’s neck to look at her, but when their gazes made contact with one another, Calum could tell that there was something wrong. Elle had a far off look in her eyes as she stared at Calum, and he knew that she was not present.

“Elle?” He asked, pushing himself up onto his palms to hold himself over her. She blinked twice, and then she suddenly started shaking her head.

“What happened?” Calum asked again, now standing back up and slowly pulling out her to prevent her from getting hurt. Elle only shook her head and sat up, pushing herself off his desk and starting to search for her clothes. It’s almost like reality had caught up with her, and her mind had suddenly reminded her of who she just slept with.

“I have to go.” She whispered and she slipped on her skirt and picked up her blouse. Calum watched in complete confusion, slowly putting on his boxers as he watched Elle scramble around for her clothing. He couldn’t even comprehend her sudden switch in moods, but he knew that she was in great pain due to the ways her face would scrunch up if she stepped a certain way.

“You shouldn’t be on your feet.” Calum said as he tried to stop her from buttoning her blouse. Elle shrugged off his touch and walked over to the couch to retrieve her shoes and her personal items.

“Elle, just wait a minute.” She could tell his voice was desperate, but her mind was screaming at her to leave. She knew that she had messed things up royally with what she had just done, and her flight or fight responses were kicking in. Calum was so baffled, but his own mind was screaming at him to get her to stay. But she wasn’t listening to him. She just kept shaking her head as if she was trying to shake off what just happened.

“Did I hurt you?”

“No,” Elle said and threw on her coat. “I shouldn’t have done that. You’re my boss. I shouldn’t have slept with you.” Her hand made quick work of the silver door knob. Calum watched as she slipped out into the lobby of the secretary, his mind racing at the sudden change in her mood. Of course he knew that they shouldn’t have done that, but he still felt an attraction towards her that he didn’t feel with anyone else - regardless if she was his assistant or not. He swiftly moved to the door and stepped out into the same lobby that she was just in. But before he could say anything, he watched as the elevator doors at the end of the hall closed shut, Elle on the other side of them.

--------

The lights in Elle’s apartment were dim when she lazily swung open the door after unlocking it. It was late, nearly around one in the morning, and Elle was confused to find the kitchen light on. The tears that she had cried on the way home were well dried up on her cheeks; the Uber driver being nice enough to not ask or say anything to her as she cried. The full weight of what she had done had hit her like a semi truck, and Elle could feel the shame deep into her bones as she spent every minute from the office to her apartment thinking about how she slept with her boss. She lost her virginity to someone who could easily control every move she did, meaning that Elle was now at the mercy of Calum come Monday. She dragged her body into the kitchen to find Noah, Liz’s boyfriend, grabbing a glass of water.

“Hey you! How was work?” He asked, his voice cheery and sweet like it always was. Elle immediately thought about the night’s events, and she could feel herself grow ashamed and regretful again.

“Long,” she croaked out, sucking in a deep breath to herself from crying again. “Really long.”

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hopefully y’all like this!!

taglist:

@bloodmoonashton @cals-wildflower @cashtonasff5sos @fatallovesonghood @foreverlovingbands @fckngbored @generationsparkles @hoodschick @katcontreras @keithseabrook27 @morguleth @myloverboyash @saphseoul @thesubtweeter @thomashoodetta @wantcalback @wastedheartcth @wildflower-cth @who-do-you-love-5sos @wtf-no-idk @wokeupinjapanisabop

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ukulelecal · 4 years

Text

Lingerie

In which Calum meets Frankie for the first time.

Pairing: Calum Hood x OC

Warnings: a very vague mention to smut?

A/N: so this is from the AU that me and maja @rosegoldquintis have going!! here is a post where i kinda explained it (check that out as ashton’s girl is sort of introduced in this!), and here is a blurb that maja wrote about cal and frankie!! this isn’t super long, about 1.7k, but i hope you guys enjoy!!! also, frankie’s face claim is devon carlson :)

The last thing Calum expected was a call from Ashton just as he was settling onto the couch for an afternoon of binging watching true crime documentaries and cuddling with Duke. He loved his best friend to death, but he was certainly looking forward to relaxing after a long week of work.

“Hey, Ash,” he grumbled as he picked up the phone, his voice still thick with sleep considering he had decided to sleep in until noon. “What’s up?”

“You busy?” Ashton asked. “And busy doesn’t mean you plan to do nothing all day.”

Calum huffed. He knew Calum all too well.

“Guess I’m not busy, then.”

“Great. Because Ophelia’s birthday is coming up and I still have one more thing I want to get her, but I don’t feel like going by myself,” he explained. Calum sighed, his body sinking further into the couch. Duke looked at him expectantly, and Calum reached over to pat his head.

“You need my help or something, mate?” He joked, giving his dog more pets as he jumped into his lap. “Are you clueless on what to buy your girlfriend?”

“Fuck off,” Ashton laughed. “I know what I’m getting, I just don’t want to go alone.”

“I mean-”

“I’ll buy lunch if you come,” he interjected before Calum could make up an excuse.

Never one to turn down free food, Calum decided that the lineup of documentaries could wait until night time.

“Fine. Lunch first, then we shop.”

“Sounds like a plan. I’ll pick you up in twenty minutes.”

Calum hung up the phone and glanced apologetically at Duke, who was still staring at him as if he was waiting for something.

“Sorry, bud. Ashton’s making me leave the house and put pants on on my day off. Can you believe that?”

Duke barked, and Calum chuckled as he gently lifted him off his lap and set him on the floor.

“I know. Crazy.”

With that, he headed upstairs to actually put clothes on and make himself presentable, and it wasn’t long before he got a text from Ashton announcing that he was there.

After lunch at a local deli, the two headed to the mall, and Ashton seemed to know exactly where he wanted to go. Calum nearly rolled his eyes as he led him into the store.

“Really? Lingerie?”

“It’s what she asked for!” Ashton argued. That was a lie; truth was, he had ripped her nicest set when he was a little too excited to take it off her, and he felt kind of bad about it, so he decided to get her a new one. But, she never directly asked for it.

The music was soft and mellow as they walked inside, the lighting dim, but bright enough to be able to see. It definitely had the vibe of a lingerie store, if the oodles of lacy underwear didn’t give it away already. Calum had never been in there; the store was on the newer side, and he had been single for a while, so he didn’t have anyone to be buying lingerie for.

Calum aimlessly followed Ashton around the store as he browsed, carefully inspecting his options. His eyebrows were furrowed in concentration while he ran his fingers across the material and checked the prices and sizes. He wanted nothing but the best for Ophelia, and he wasn’t going to settle for anything less.

“How about this one?”

Ashton held up a jet black set for Calum to see, who gave him a pointed look.

“I’m not picking out lingerie for your girl, man,” he stated blankly. Ashton groaned and rolled his eyes.

“I’m just asking if you like it. Do you think it’s nice?”

Calum shrugged. All the sets looked “nice” to him.

“I guess.”

Ashton stared at it for another moment before hanging it back on the rack, grumbling something under his breath about coming back to it. Calum sighed; he knew this was going to be a long shopping trip.

A few minutes later, Ashton held up another, this one a dark wine color.

“This one?”

“I don’t know about her, but I think you’d look pretty sexy in that one, Ash,” Calum teased, a grin spreading across his face. The glare on Ashton’s face only made him laugh, and he dejectedly put the set back.

Calum could have sworn that Ashton looked at every single thing in the store, and he was starting to get bored. Just as he was about to announce that he would wait at the food court, a voice caught their attention.

“Is there anything I can help you two with?”

Calum didn’t miss the way his own heart skipped a beat when his eyes landed on the woman standing in front of them. Her smile was warm and friendly, and she daintily tucked a piece of brown hair behind her ear. She was gorgeous, no doubt, but she also gave off such a kind, refreshing aura among the dark, seductive vibe of the store. A breath of fresh air, Calum thought to himself.

He couldn’t peel his eyes away.

“I’m just looking for some lingerie to get my girlfriend for her birthday,” Ashton said, reminding Calum that she had asked a question. “There’s just so many options.”

The woman giggled, and Calum’s knees nearly buckled.

“Yeah, it can get overwhelming trying to pick unless you know exactly what you want, but I can try to make it a little easier. What color do you think she would like?” The woman stepped closer to Ashton to help him, Calum’s eyes subtly following.

“I think she looks good in any color,” Ashton chuckled, shaking his head. “But her favorite color is red.”

“I’ll give you a bit of advice. Don’t only think about what you think she’ll look good in. Try to think about what you think she’ll feel good in. What will make her feel confident, you know? Confidence is much sexier than lingerie.”

Calum couldn’t help the grin that tugged at his lips. She seemed so sweet and genuine, and he found himself wanting to get to know her better. She was endearing, her smile and soft demeanor drawing Calum in, and he got a whiff of her flowery perfume when she was close.

After she left Ashton to decide between a couple sets, she turned to Calum, and he had to act like he hadn’t been staring.

“How about you? Need any help?” She offered, her smile never leaving her face. He let his own take over his features naturally as he shook his head.

“No, I’m not here to get anything.” He cocked his head towards Ashton. “I was promised lunch if I came with him.”

She giggled again, and Calum found himself chuckling as well. It was contagious, and Calum found that adorable.

“Well, I always say free food is a good reason to go anywhere.” She fixed her hair again, pastel pink nails a contrast against her dark hair. “My name's Frankie. Let me know if you guys need anything, okay?”

“Okay. Thanks, Frankie.”

He liked the way her name rolled off his tongue.

He watched her walk away, but it was short lived as Ashton tapped him on the shoulder.

“I can’t decide, so I’ll just get her both. I’m gonna go pay.”

Calum followed him to the register, and another smile found its way to his face when he saw Frankie was behind the counter.

“Couldn’t pick?” She asked sweetly as Ashton handed her the two sets. He shook his head.

“No, I’m sure she’ll love both, so she can have both.” There was also a good chance that he would rip one again so it was good to have another, but he didn’t say that.

Frankie’s eyes trailed up to meet Calum’s as she rang up the lingerie, and he shot her a sweet smile. A slight blush creeped onto her pale cheeks as she looked back down at the register, a sheepish grin on her pink lips.

Calum’s heart fluttered just looking at her.

She carefully folded the lingerie and placed it in a bag that she handed over to Ashton after he paid.

“Have a great day,” she mumbled. She glanced at Ashton only for a moment before her gaze averted to Calum. He nodded his head, and both men returned the sentiment before they started to head to the door. Calum could feel eyes on him as he walked, and he knew exactly who it was.

Just as they were about to leave, Calum stopped himself short. He couldn’t leave quite yet.

“Hang on one second, Ash,” he grumbled, turning around and heading back towards the register to Frankie.

“Hi,” he greeted, leaning one arm against the counter.

“Hey,” she returned sweetly, raising an eyebrow expectantly at him. She knew he’d come back, and she had been hoping he would. He was beyond hot, and his deep voice made her melt in her spot.

“Would you like to get coffee with me sometime?” He offered, knowing he couldn’t let this chance slip away. She nodded quickly before reaching around to grab one of the store’s business cards from the front of the register and scribbling something on it. He found her phone number written on the back when she handed it to him.

“I would love to…” she trailed off, and he got the idea.

“Calum.”

“Calum,” she repeated, her eyes meeting his. “Text me, yeah?”

“Of course.” He slipped the card safely into the pocket of his jeans. “I’ll see you later, Frankie.”

He met a smirking Ashton back at the door, and the two of them started to make their way back to the car.

“Hitting on the lingerie girl, huh, Cal?” Ashton teased, nudging his shoulder. Calum grinned and playfully shook his head.

“You met Ophelia while she was working at the bookstore, Ash, you’re not one to talk.”

“Guess not. But, hey, good for you! You’ve been single for the longest time. It’s good that you’re getting back out there.”

Calum hadn’t had much interest in love or dating when his last relationship ended, but Frankie seemed different. She stood out. She was the complete opposite of him, with her pastel colors and gentle manner, but that was a part of what drew Calum to her. She was the bit of light he needed in his life, and he was excited to see where they would go.

#5 seconds of summer #5sos #calum hood #5 seconds of summer blurb #5 seconds of summer imagine #5 seconds of summer smut #5 seconds of summer au #5sos blurb #5sos imagine #5sos smut #5sos au #calum hood blurb #calum hood imagine #calum hood au #calum hood smut #michael clifford #ashton irwin #luke hemmings #genny writes

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makeupbychio · 4 years

Text

Lost & Found // Chapter 2.

Pairing: Calum Hood x Latina OC Character (Rosie Rivera)

Summary of the chapter: After Calum made things a little bit weird, all of them did a trip to a magical place to get to know each other.

Words: 9.2k.

Warnings: swearing, mentions of alcohol maybe(?).

Song: Lost & Found.

a/n: hi babies, I hope you like this chapter, is soft a f. I’m going to create a playlist for this serie and also a moodboard. Feedback is more than welcome, love y’all, stay safe and take care. Italic and bold means song lyrics.

[Prologue], [Chapter 1]

Why do we all fall down with innocence still on the ground? No, oh-oh-oh Why do we all fall down and apart on the lost and found? (Hm)

9:30 am

Rosie woke up before her alarm because the urge to pee was bigger after all the ice cream she ate the night before, when she came back, her best friend Cami was still sleeping so deep as always like not even an earthquake could bother her sleep, Rosie envies that from her. She was leaning against her window always looking for the sun in her pjs and a messy bun when she started checking her phone looking if there’s something new in her mails but it’s empty, ‘maybe next week’ she says to herself remembering that it was saturday so maybe that’s the reason why she hasn’t heard news from this person, yet. She was looking at the sun with her eyes close at the relaxing feeling of the heat in her face when Ashton texted her. He told her about how excited was Michael about this that they were up since early thanks to him and that Luke almost punched him in the face.

She replied to Ashton letting him know that please don’t be so rude to Michael and that she understood his mood.

She went downstairs to put the boiler on to make breakfast and she wasn’t surprised to see her grandfather in the dining room, Mario, already drinking his mate and reading the newspaper with his glasses in the middle of his nose reading the sports section.

The sun was behind him making him look so peaceful and Rosie felt so grateful to have the best grandfather she could ask since she never meets her other grandfather because he died when her dad was her age. She got close to him and greeted him with a kiss in his temple.

Mario melted at his granddaughter’s presence because since day one she has been his partner in crime and he would do anything for her. When her dad was away because of his work, Mario was there next to Rosie when she missed her dad or when her dad couldn’t make it to tons of father’s day, birthdays, holidays, things at kindergarten or school that Mario was there like her number one fan with the biggest ovation at every event, even those days when Rosie was a child and she was in emergency because a heavy cold at 3 am, Mario made all the way to the hospital with her favorite toy and a book to colour to make her feel better. Rosie’s mom said he shouldn’t spoil her that much. But he doesn’t care, till present day when Rosie has a dance competition or a show he’s always in the crowd or backstage for bigs and smalls shows.

In spanish he says after taking a sip of his mate drink, “morning hija, how are you? Cami stayed the night here?”

“I’m fine and yes, ice cream alert. Matty broke up with her” she said while preparing her typical contundent oatmeal with another things.

“What an- ” Mario said without cursing but she understood.

“Exactly” and the boiler informed that the water was ready so she prepared her tea. “Do you want a refill?” she asked pointing at his mate.

“No hija, thanks” so she sit down next to him in the dining table.

“So how did our team did yesterday?” referring to their favorite chilean soccer team that it’s like a family tradition because Mario and her dad played in that team in their youth.

“They won last night! They’re recovering but don’t talk about that” Mario looked at her freezing the changing of the newspaper’s page. “Are Cami and you going to go out with Ashton and his band?” he looked at her so excited.

“Oh yes, Ashton already texted me and told me that all of them are awake because one of his bandmates is so excited” Rosie said eating her breakfast.

“Are you talking about Calum?” Mario said looking her with her glasses down his nose while he continued changing the page of the paper.

“No! Another bandmate, why are you looking at me like that?” trying to hide her face behind her tea cup.

“Oh don’t worry, just old mans things ya’ know. So it would be a good idea if you go and wake up Cami because we all know that takes time” he said changing the topic of their conversation.

Rosie finished her breakfast and leaves the dining table asking permission to her grandpa and he let her know that he was going to keep reading the paper if she needed something.

Once back at her room Cami still sleeping all messy around the bed. Rosie looked up the ceiling praying to the universe because what it’s coming she knows that it is always a show.

“Morning sleeping beauty, it is time to get up” Rosie said softly while Cami just groaned at her covering her body with the blankets.

‘Okay, as always you’re not giving me another option’ she thought. So she got closer to the bed and started moving Cami’s shoulders, peace was never an option when it comes to wake up her best friend.

“Cami a tremor! An earthquake! Come on!” without getting an answer back she was jumping in her own bed like when she was a child.

Cami threw her a pillow that almost makes Rosie fall who decided to take a shower instead.

When Rosie was done with her shower, thank God her best friend was with a coffee cup in her hand and checking her phone.

“Good morning Cami, how are you?” Rosie asked wrapped in a towel around her body noticing Cami’s swollen eyes and she knows that her best friend fall asleep crying till tiredness was bigger than her broken heart.

“I could be better, ya’ know. Matty didn’t even text me during the night” Cami said disappointed standing next to the window.

“I know honey but hey keep ya’ head up because today we’re going to have fun and forget about Matty okay? he doesn’t deserves you. Rosie said standing next to Cami.

“You know what, we could go to ‘Cerebro’, ya’ know that always make us feel better and we need it since we have been busy with studies” Cami said.

“How did I not come up with that idea before? of course that always works!” Rosie said hugging her friend.

Before leaving her house, Rosie and Cami said goodbye to Mario and he told them to have fun and take care of each other. They walked to Cami’s house that it’s 10 minutes away walking and it could be less if it wasn’t for the steep slope.

Once there, Cami was taking the things she is going to need when her dad entered the room “Hi my little princess, Mario called me yesterday and told me about today even when I would like to hear it from you... Hi Rosie” Rosie said hi to Gabriel, Cami’s dad, the only one that was at Cami’s home because the rest was already outside busy.

Cami apologized to him and told him all about Matty’s thing so he understood and said to himself to talk with his daughter about this later because he knew that she is late as always and because he wanted another moment to bring this topic.

“If you girls want you can take my car because Mario told me about four friends of you in this trip. But, Rosie is going to drive” he said handing the keys to Rosie.

Gabriel explained that he wants Rosie to drive not because his daughter was a danger behind the wheel or maybe yes but he knew that his daughter was thinking about everything but driving to their destination.

11 am

Ashton said to their friends to move from the hotel reception’s couch when Rosie texted him that they were outside the hotel waiting for them.

Michael ran outside to the hotel’s parking lot without even knowing how the girls or the car looked like.

Ashton found Rosie and Cami leaning on the car’s door. “Woah Rosie since when you have a huge family?” pointing to the car with three rows.

Before she answered him, they greeted the guys with a hug and a kiss on the cheek and introducing themselves.

“I think you should go by walking, who is with me?” she answered to Ashton when he was the last one that Rosie greeted and with her question everyone raised their hands. And Rosie looked at Ashton with a victory look when the rest laughed at him. But Cami explained that the car it is that big because she has three siblings and Ashton thanked her because there was no way he could knew that.

The girls ask them if they mind to go and change their outfits because the place where they were going has lakes, piers, trees, mountain, cabins, etc so they would fry their asses wearing leather and latex with that day’s weather.

The boys agreed on going upstairs to change except Michael that was already in comfy casual clothes with pair of shorts, a grey tank top and a black cap turned back, Michael really prepared for this and let the girls know that he warned them in the morning and says “ya’ know, boys” to the girls. They laughed and he took his things to put it in the trunk and he also brought his acoustic guitar and told them that it was necessary for the day or if he got inspired for new music.

While in the other side the boys were in the elevator back to their rooms to change and Ashton said to Calum that he should stop acting so weird around Rosie it wasn’t a big deal what happened yesterday but Calum wasn’t feeling like that, not yet. Luke agreed with Ashton and said that it only depends on him if he wanted or not to let that behind.

Luke changed to black leggins, a black tank top with a open denim shirt. Ashton changed to a pair of black shorts, a black with white line shirt and a black cap. And Calum changed to black sweatpants, a green olive shirt and a cap.

Back to the rest waiting in the car Michael now understood his best friend’s comment about this girl when she took off her sunglasses and looking at her in an objective way. Michael asked politely to them if he could go in the passenger seat and Cami agreed that it was no problem with that. So Cami suggested Michael to have his guitar with him in his seat for the road.

When the boys were back in their new outfits and with sunglasses, Cami told them to get into the car. Cami were in the second row of the car with Ashton and Calum and Luke in the third row.

Rosie started driving out the parking lot, Ashton immediately asking, with crossed hands and looking giant next to Cami just like the rest of the boys in the way their legs barely fitted in the car space, why Rosie’s driving if it is Cami’s car and Cami answers that it’s a long story but she had a bad night so Rosie is more aware of the road.

Michael’s music starts playing while Rosie was already out the city leaving behind all the big buildings. Now the road is full of trees and plots with animals and grass.

All of them except for Rosie were enjoying of the fresh air and serenity looking what they had out the window, she was singing to Michael’s playlist so focused on the road.

After a couple of minutes when they entered a narrower road compared to the city lanes. Now they were going up because of the mountain range’s height and other geomorphological characteristics so the road wasn’t flat like the city.

All of them were having a mini karaoke with Michael’s playlist when he had to know where Rosie got her ‘Star Wars’ black crop top that she was wearing and asking her if she would like to be his best friend. Rosie laughed at his cuteness. And his bandmates let out a tired sigh because they know what this means.

“Here we go again” Ashton said letting his head back teasing Michael about his obsession with that saga.

That crop top exposed her noticeable abdomen due to her daily intense dance trainings. She was wearing red sweatpants that gives her that dancer vibe. Also she feels comfortable in that pair because she doesn’t feel secure with shorts or exposing too much her thighs even when she’s a dancer but the size of her thighs sometimes makes her uncomfortable or sometimes she doesn’t care at all when she’s feeling herself.

Her dark brown hair is long and super straight. Calum noticed that that day she was wearing less makeup compared to last night. But both looks he doesn’t change his mind and thought the same from last night ‘god is a woman’ and he said to himself to stop with that even when it’s a fact for him. Now he feels curious about this girl that looked so confident being a dancer but noticing that has a lot of facets.

His thoughts were interrupted by the same girl he was looking. She was discussing with Michael about the last Star Wars movie and he felt that he was going to explode to finally find a friend to talk about his ‘nerd’ things.

“She made me watch all the saga before we went to watch the last one to the cinema” Cami said from her seat “but even when I’m not a fan of that kind of movies, I enjoyed it and I’m in love with Finn”

“Michael did the same with the ones that hadn’t watch the saga” Luke mentioned from the back. And Michael fired back that it was like the only thing that he achieved because they never want to play a card game he has.

“That’s not true Mike! Sometimes I play online with you” Calum said offended faking a sad pout to his friend. Calum thought that now he’s part of the nerd club too but he doesn’t care.

“Well Michael, now I have a game for us, it’s not about cards sorry but let’s play it while there is a while to arrive” Cami said, who was wearing a simple and large grey dress that covers her legs and it wasn’t a tight dress is just that the fabric is attracted to her body. She was with her faux locs, sunglasses, wearing sandals and more makeup than Rosie.

Cami started to explain the game ‘mini entrevistas’, it’s a thing she does to meet people or to know the other’s opinion. The boys gave her a confused look. It consists that everybody ask something to one in particular and this one should answer which option prefers.

“For example, Ashton, Michael Jackson or Elvis? You got it?” she said looking at the boys that were paying attention to her. “The idea is that everyone get a question by the rest” and Ashton clapped his hands pretending that he was getting ready for the game.

The first questions are simple like ‘winter or summer?’, ‘pizza or tacos?’, ‘hen or egg first?’, questions about music, movies and other stuff till Cami asked “would you rather get rid off your life sex or food?” and Luke decided to move on on the game because of the controversial question he was like “sex, no, food, no, definitely sex, no, I don’t know” that made everyone laugh at the different opinions so Michael decided to take his guitar that was near him to start playing classic hits and the rest would recognize them and start singing.

12:15 pm

Rosie entered a dirt road and turned left and now everyone can see several cabins with plenty distance between each one. A huge lake as the front yard of each cabin that is shared and in the middle a dock to enjoy and it’s surrounded by several mini boats like kayaks that are tied to a wooden dock.

The boys were surprised by the beauty of the place and how peaceful it is. The clarity of the water, how they felt tiny for being surrounded by huge mountains.

Rosie parked the car outside the cabin that belongs to Cami’s family. While everyone was in the trunk taking the backpacks, Ashton said “Definitely in maybe thirty years it wouldn’t bother me to live here” he was hypnotized by the lake and the view, but Luke grabbed him to go into the cabin telling him to hurry up because he was starving.

It’s a very comfortable and rustic cabin that inside it has the necessary. It’s built of cement in the inside and of wood in the outside.

When Cami opened the door and left her things in a big room that is near the entrance she explained to the rest that that room was for her and Rosie and as she has a big family the rest of the rooms are passing the kitchen and there they chose their rooms.

12:30 pm

The boys suggested having lunch due to Michael made them have breakfast so early. So the deal was a tour the center, then have lunch and then come back to the cabin.

While they were walking they take pictures and keep talking to continue knowing each other. The trees around the road are so tall that they give shade so the heat isn’t so overwhelming.

Calum was taking pictures, staying behind the group so Rosie went to look for him so he can see her from the front and without planning his gaze landed on the girl’s figure the way she has curves very defined and her abdomen that is noticeable but subtle. He thought to himself how many training sessions she had to have that body and then realized that he should start exercising on monday.

Calum joked about complaining that nobody is stopping for a picture with a cocky tone and Rosie laughed and answered him with a The Simpsons reference. If they were going to be friends, he had to get used to references of movies, music, tv shows, memes, etc.

“Let’s continue walking we don’t want to lose the rest” she took him by his arm after he took a couple of more pictures.

Michael was in the front of the walk taking silly photos with and of the rest and Cami says to him to handle the phone to her because photography is one of her hobbies.

“So, why you’re studying psychology?” Michael asked her when she told him what she studies while Calum and Rosie were behind. She told them that she forgot to bring her film camera.

“There you are!” Luke said receiving Rosie and Calum back with the group. “Let’s take a pic” and Cami started the photoshoot by freezing the moment with the huge trees around them, the wind moving everyone’s hair with a large dirt road behind.

So Rosie posed with Ashton with her on his back like piggyback ride and then they swiped after a not that long discussion. Then Michael with Rosie just him pointing at her crop top with his tongue out, then Calum carried Luke like a baby with Michael in the back with a jealous look which surprises the girls how strong he was by how easy he lifted Luke. Then Michael asked for his phone back so Cami could appear too and she found a flower on the sides of the road and put on Luke’s hair and posed with him with a flower within her locs too. Michael started to just taking the pictures without any warning to the rest so they were more spontaneous. Calum and Ashton posed with Cami as ‘Cami’s angels’ instead of ‘Charlie’s angels’ a joke that Ashton thought about it. Then Calum hugged the girls, one of them on each arm of him around their collar bones height, Rosie’s back was press to Calum’s ribs. And the last one Calum offered to take a selfie so everyone was in the picture.

They get close to Michael’s phone to check the photos and they laughed about it and asked him to send them to have them as good memories. Michael said the he’s going to post a couple of them and Calum thought about the same or just have them in his phone’s gallery because he knows that any picture he posts with new people brings comments.

When they went all over the center of the tiny town watching artisan’s works, listening to street musicians which ones the boys paid more attention to them and noticing the passion and clap when they finished and leave money to support them.

After more pictures with the uniques mini streets of the place and with the valleys full of harvests behind them then Cami walked them to a restaurant with something in particular.

“Ehmm Cami I think that the restaurant was assaulted” Michael said pointing at the restaurant without windows and doors.

But she explained that that’s the idea of the place, it’s looks like a restaurant was placed inside a giant rock. When they entered it makes sense because everything was made of stone but somehow it was comfortable.

“That’s fucking sick” Calum said looking at the place and sitting with the group.

The girls and Ashton helped the boys to order because it’s just typical chilean food even when the menu comes translated but they wanted to choose wisely.

“You just tasted chilean food last night and you already feel chilean” Calum said leaning forward to where Ashton were that he can’t see because he was far from him in the other side of the table that has an ‘U’ form.

“You’re jealous because you don’t have chilean relatives” Ashton lifted his hand as far he can to his friend to annoy him. “Besides at least I go outside and don’t stay in the hotel like you guys” he finished his point and the food arrived.

Luke took the bread and spread the red sauce that the waitress left in the table with their order. The next thing his face was red and he started drinking his water desperately. He was coughing now and Rosie helping him realizing that he took the spiciest one. After all, he understood that the sauce called ‘pebre’ has chili pepper to the extreme. Ashton teased him that is not even the spiciest sauce that he was overreacting with his cough and Luke gave him a look and said that it was real cough.

When they finished their meals Michael for the first time of the day was in silence staring off into space and Rosie waved her hand in front of him and Luke moved his friend till he answered that he was processing how good this tastes.

When each one paid the bill, they left the particular restaurant and a couple of steps away Rosie mentioned if they would like to do a tour to a vineyard that the owner, Will is a friend of her grandfather because as you can tell he has a lot of acquaintances.

“I don’t know about you guys but who I am to refuse to this wine show” Ashtons said pointing at himself.

When they entered the place an old man with a beret that makes him look sophisticated met Rosie and Cami as they introduced the boys behind them.

“How is Mario?” Will asked Rosie and she answered that he was fine and also updated him about the bar that he should go with his wife to have a drink and dance.

“For sure that I’m going to visit the bar and also your grandfather because the last domino game he won but I discover his trick that always beat me” Will told her and she was not surprised because even when Mario denies it she knows his trick too and how much he loves this game and enjoys playing it with his friends at the bar. She was thinking that maybe that is the reason why Mario hired the band of the bar because they called exact like the game.

Will doesn’t speak english so the girls translated while he was explaining this activity, his business and that the country has one of the best wines of the world and also showing the hanging vines. Next to it there is a yurt where you can taste and then buy wine if you want.

Then they confirmed how the old man was right about the wine on this country.

Will’s vineyard is very famous even when you look at the owner and his business so humble but the wine is one of the most valued in the market so that’s why during the year people visit the place and enjoy a good wine. Michael was walking around the room looking at the pictures hanging on the wall that Will does a collage of famous people that had visited the place and also pictures of no famous people.

“No way! Are you fucking kidding me?” Michael said taking Rosie’s arm in surprise to get closer to see what he was looking at almost making her drop her glass. “Rihanna was here?!” and Rosie translated to Will why Michael screamed at the picture that the singer appears with Will and his wife.

“Tell him that he’s right that she also bought lots of bottles for her home and jet” Will said at Rosie.

“Can’t believe we’re stepping on the same floor Rihanna did once” Calum said getting closer to his friend to look at the rest of the pictures on the wall. And the rest did the same from their chairs in the bar that is in the room and Will behind it serving the wine as a bartender.

The boys kept collecting memories of this trip and place not like the previous pictures in the road that were silly because of the presence of an adult even when Will is also part of Rosie’s family. They took pictures of the wine, the room, the pictures hanging in the wall, the vines, the landscape, etc.

Calum asked Luke to pose next to the vines because he is almost the same height as these things, even when Luke thought it was stupid he posed anyways with one eye close because of the sun hitting his face and with a smile that he gave up at his friend petition and the rest laughed at this and Calum joked about it while he took the pictures with his phone.

Then Calum asked the girls to pose next to the vines like the opposite thing that happens with Luke. Then they exchanged numbers with the girls except for Ashton that already had them, to send the pictures from the different phones.

Ashton was posting a picture on Instagram with the view of the vineyard and tagging his location with the caption ‘best wine ever, life is great.’.

They thanked Will for the tour and the wine and said goodbye to him, now they’ were going back to the cabin. Cami told Rosie and Ashton to go to the minimarket to buy some things for the night and for the next morning. And the rest of the boys walked with Cami to the cabin.

Once in the minimarket Rosie and Ashton looked for water, things for breakfast, alcohol for the night, and things if they get hungry after the club. They were queuing waiting to pay and Ashton asked her to give him the bottles of water because they are heavy.

“So, chilean relatives?” she commented about what Ashton said before during lunch.

“Oh yeah, about that, I’m sorry if it bothered you because I know that-” he said but she interrupted him because it doesn’t bother her at all, she mentioned that it’s so sweet from him to consider Mario in that way.

“I know that I don’t have any blood ratio with him but he knowing that he helped my mom and me during a bad moment it’s why I consider him that much compared to other people blood relative ya’ know” he said without looking at her with a tone of pain.

Rosie didn’t know if she should ask what happened but she didn’t want to bother him so she would understand if he didn’t want to talk about it.

“Ouch, that sounds like a hint to people that did no good to your family” she said looking up at his serious face and clenched jaw.

A moment of silence while Ashton is thinking in the right words to say next.

“Maybe, let’s say that I thought that in that moment it was just me and my mom ya’ know?” he said finally looking down at her and she understood what he meant to say and nodded. “Those were difficult moments and what Mario told me yesterday it came to my mind a lot of things. And I realize that is crazy how you get help by people you don’t know or don’t expect their help at all and the ones that you have a relation they don’t help you” he admitted.

“Got it. Well I know that we barely know each other but anything you need or if you want to talk I’m letting you know that I’m always going to be available and also Mario, and my family and my home like Mario already told you” she said stroking his arms while he kept holding the bottles of water.

To be honest, Ashton doesn’t know how to deal with affection sometimes and real care from others. He is so used to his family and the boys that sometimes he felt scared or distrust for what happened to him in the past but he knew that she was being honest. Therefore he smiled and thanked her.

Meanwhile in the cabin the rest were just resting in the living room. Luke was checking his phone and saw the stories that Ashton posted so he started following the girls.

Rosie and Ashton were walking back to the cabin when Rosie’s phone rang with a notification and it was Luke who tagged her in a post and with difficulty she took her phone because she was carrying the water. Luke posted the pictures of the girls with the vines and him with the vines with the caption ‘reality vs expectation’. And he put in his stories the one with Cami and the flowers in their hair. Rosie laughed showing the post to Ashton who laughed too. She thought it was an email instead of Instagram.

“I’m going to kill Luke but that is a good one” she said. The rest also posted and tagged her. Michael posted pictures of him in the vineyard, the groupal selfie that Cal took, and the picture with Rosie with the caption ‘today is a good day, I stepped on the same place that Rihanna were once and also tasted the same wine, also I found my new best friends they’re cooler than me. ps. finally someone to talk about star wars’. And the one he looks jealous at Luke being carried by Calum in his stories then posting another story with his face zoomed. Calum posted the one with the girls and the Cami’s angels one with the caption ‘🇨🇱🍷💙’. The group selfie he took and the videos he filmed of the musicians playing in the small town they listened earlier he uploaded them in his stories. Rosie concluded that Calum was the one of the group that says the less compared to his bandmates.

“The water is here!” Ashton said opening the door suddenly and leaving the things in the kitchen and in the fridge.

Ashton took glasses for everyone. Then he sat down in a chair and comment about the pictures his friends posted and he already posted one last night when he played in the bar with the band tagging his location and a grateful caption, but now he posted the picture with Rosie and the one when she carried him, the one with Cal and Cami as ‘Cami’s angels’ with the caption ‘cami’s angels at your service… you can’t hang with us jk these days had been amazing with beautiful people and fam’.

Everyone was drinking water and the girls were posting too even when with them it’s different because it wasn’t normal or a daily thing to suddenly post something with famous people because they barely have like 700 or 800 followers on social media unlike the guys that have millions of followers. Cami posted the picture with Luke and the flowers, Cami’s angels and the one with her best friend in the vines with the caption ‘choose your fighter...the perks of being a wallflower or Cami’s angels or my soulmate’. Michael realized that they didn’t get a picture together the same with Luke and Rosie. Finally, Rosie posted the one with Ashton, with Michael and with Calum and Cami and she didn’t know what to put in the caption, maybe just emojis, like Calum. But Cami whispered to her something she didn’t understand ‘Chile vs Australia but friendly’.

“That shit is hilarious” Ashton exploded in laugh in the chair “give me a high five” lifting his hand to Cami and Rosie asked for an explanation and Ashton told her the story when Calum cursed on Twitter when Chile won against Australia in the world cup and Rosie opened her mouth because she couldn’t believe and teased Calum about it. Michael allowed them to make fun of that whenever they want.

Calum changed his position in the sofa and also the topic by asking Cami to tell them about her long story.

Cami studies psychology, has two sisters and a brother, she’s the older one. Her dad’s chilean and her mom’s dominican. She loves photography, writing and her big family including Rosie’s family.

She summed up her break up story and the boys were ready to throw hands to this idiot. Ashton apologized to her because during the morning he teased her because yesterday Rosie told him that Cami was on a date and probably she was busy when she didn’t answer her phone.

“Amazing Ashton now you’re joining a club for screwing up” Calum looked at him and Ashton thought to fire back because he fucked up things yesterday but he decided to stay silent.

“Don’t get me wrong but I don’t know what his definition of ‘gaining weight is’ such a troglodyte” Michael pointed sitting next to her giving her a hug.

“Oh that it’s so sweet but it’s true, the last few months I have gained weight because in school my lil brother is being bullied and of course it has affected me watching him and can’t do nothing because his teacher told us that she’s going to do something” she was surprised for being so honest but it felt good to talk about it.

“He ain’t worth your time girl, he ain’t worth you” Calum said with his finger giving his advice and puckering his lips.

“Woah, Rosie told me the same yesterday” Cami said. And Luke offered to bring his dog, Petunia to scare the bully kids and also her ex, so Calum offered Duke too even when his dog it’s smaller but it could work too. And Michael didn’t waste the chance to make fun of Luke’s dog.

“And what about you Rosie? Calum told me yesterday you are studying dance” Michael said and Calum threw him a glance like ‘why it couldn’t be Ashton instead of me?’

She told them that she had left just three semesters to finish the career and that it could be less than that depending of some things. Her parents are both chilean and she’s an only child and has a dog that she adopted and like Cami, she’s single.

She also summed up the story that her boyfriend broke up with her because he said that he couldn’t handle anymore having the relationship with her if she’s going to be a dancer, he thought that there was no future for them because she already went to other countries to dance and if they were going to be a family he would like that she were an architect instead of an artist. Cami looked at her thinking that she is the only person who knows the full story.

“He really thought he was indispensable and what about that family thing” Ashton said confused. And Rosie agreed with him because she didn’t thought about a family with him.

“It doesn’t matter, because realized months later that he’s a mommy’s boy because it was because his mother didn’t like the idea of me being a dancer because he asked me to be together again” she added.

“Yeah that’s weird because if you were already dancing and he was with you, it doesn’t make sense because in that case he should broke up with you at the first year of your dance studies” Calum said confused too like if he was calculating something. Calum was the most confused one like he didn’t know which ex was more idiot but he didn’t add anything and just repeat the same what he said to Cami.

Rosie went outside to pick a call when her phone rang, Cami jumped and looked at how her friend left the cabin stopping her conversation with the guys.

Calum asked Cami if everything is okay by the way of her reaction, Cami said that it was nothing so they continued knowing each other. After twenty minutes anxiety kicked Calum from nowhere so he craved for a cigarette and went outside to smoke.

Ashton took Calum’s place in the couch. “I hope they found each other outside so they could talk” he said looking to the front window.

“About?...” Cami asked him not following him. Ashton opened wide his eyes like if it was an obvious thing.

“You guys really don’t know how weird and also confused was when Calum said that in the bar” he said raising his arms behind the borders of the sofa. His bandmates just looked at him and Ashton defended his point “Guys I know, I know who is Calum and I know that I’m not saying this to be cupid. I’m just saying this so that could be left in the past or like if never happened because I never thought Calum would react like that”.

Michael frowned his lips and thinking about what his friend said that deeply he would like things be different with his best friend. “Ya know, not related to this but at some point I hope Calum changes his motto of ‘love sucks’ or ‘love is a scam’ but well…”

Focus and your dreams turn to reality So, tell me, how am I ever gonna find love in you? If I do not even know what I want from you

Cami felt that this topic was fragile so she joked that right now she agreed with Calum.

Meanwhile, when Calum finished his cigarette he came back to the front side and took a look at the dock where he distinguished Rosie sitting at the border of it swinging her legs but moving her arms randomly when he was closer so it almost hit him.

“Shit! Calum you scared me, did I hit you?” she said scared taking off her earbuds and stopping the music.

He let her know that it wasn’t his intention to scare her and that she didn’t hit him. He kneeled down to take away her hand from her heart that was beating so fast. He sat down next to her and looked at the beautiful lake in front of them. “I thought you were just enjoying the view ya know so I wanted to make sure you were okay”.

She relaxed at that and also at the way he said and meant it, so pure. “Sorry I got lost in the music with my eyes closed practicing a choreo I have to show this monday for a class”.

She looked down at the difference of their heights, that her legs were swinging not enough to touch the clear water, the opposite was for Calum that his feet were under water even when he leaned back supporting his body with his forearms. From there, he saw her back and hair moving with the wind and she went for the same position as him and while she was adjusting herself he asked her about what kind of dance she has to present for this class.

“Do you really want to know?” she asked surprised and Calum frowned his features because why not? he didn’t have the chance to meet a dancer everyday. She laughed at how extra he is and he bit his lip casually at that statement looking in another direction not arguing that because it is true and also it worked to appreciate her dimples before she hid them by covering with her arm when she laughs. He made a mental note that he already hated that from her for hiding her smile. She was telling him about the dance that it was a jazz choreo with a lot of songs involved that tried to explain a story.

“That movie is amazing and it has a varied soundtrack, so you choose that because jazz is your favorite or because it is a jazz class?” he asked.

“Oh don’t get me wrong, I love jazz and almost every kind of dance but urban dance it’s my passion for sure... it’s for jazz class this monday, then tuesday I have to present too for dance history and wednesday tango and urban dance” she answered explaining her next week’s evaluations and told him that people never ask her that because when they know she’s a dancer they conclude that it’s just ballet. She explained to Calum the urban dance, hip hop, groove, funk, locking, popping, fusions like jazz-funk, afro, dancehall, vogue, pop also, etc and how in the present all the inspiration it’s out there looking at choreos so fluid but at the same time urban.

Calum loves listening people talking with passion about things like he does with music but he knows that she is in another level and he can tell by the way her eyes shines when she is talking. He was thinking to tease her that here she was the extra one and not him but he prefered to continue listening to her.

After a couple of minutes when the conversation about dance and then about music that she asked Calum it’s getting to introduce another thing to talk, Calum took the opportunity to apologize for what he said last night.

“Don’t worry, to be honest it was something original that I’ve never been told before but trust me don’t worry” she said.

They were laying their backs in the wooden dock looking up at the sky with their hands in their stomachs continue talking about what they do.

“I’m sure that it happened to you too, ya know, when people don’t care about art” she said referring to her dance and to his music career. And he nodded and told her the stories of the beginning when nobody had faith on his band.

When Cami stood up from the couch and adjusted her locs, what she was looking from the window she could tell that things are not weird between those two anymore, so she let the guys know.

“Trust me, I can’t do it and if I tried I would fall into the lake” Calum said after a long time quiet next to Rosie just breathing the pure air and feeling the breeze strong enough to move his curls and their clothes, he stood up and Rosie did the same and the height difference is notorious, even more when they were this close that Rosie placed her hands on Calum’s forearms for support and apologizing for that. Calum had his curls were now all over his forehead and he blew them to come back to their place which made her laugh.

“This is totally out of my sober comfort zone but I’m always down for challenges” he said a little bit nervous because he is aware about his moves.

“I’m not going to forget that I have to teach you how to play bass” he said. They asked each other if they know how to dance or play bass and made a deal.

She added that he needs to ‘mover y soltar el esqueleto’, and he laughed how she said it with attitude and moving her hips gracily.

“Ya’ know what they said about dancers so you can thank me later” she winked at him but he frowned his eyebrows because he had no clue what people said about dancers and Rosie laughed that he didn't know about it so she left him with doubt.

His last excuse was that maybe she should not teach him how to dance because he is too tall so maybe that affects but she gave him a glare like ‘stop’. “Yeah I’m going to do it so I have a reason to see you again, I mean, you and Cami again. I don’t know when but deal is a deal” he said and she closed the deal saying that it was a honor to do business with him.

Calum wasn't the only who felt that he and his bandmates needed a day like this, good people, a beautiful place, no media, no drama and to be honest not the things you found when you are an artist, like paps, alcohol, pills, drugs, groupies, etc. Just being him a normal person and even when last night he thought that this trip was a childish idea but it was necessary.

Cami appeared out of nowhere with the guys to join them in the dock and Michael mentioned to the guys that they all lose the bet because Calum wasn't lost in the woods.

“We were ya’ know just talking, well at the beginning I was dancing and…” Rosie said when her best friend interrupted her.

“They called you?!” Cami got closer excited and Rosie laughed and nodded. Then Cami stood in a piece of wood to gain height and imitate like in the ceremonies to catch attention with a false glass and fork.

“Tonight we are going to forget about failed relationships like mine and also to celebrate that Rosie now knows where she is going to do the exchange for a trimester” she hugged her friend and the boys joined the group hug while they congratulate her and ask her for more details.

That is why Rosie was in the dock for so long before Calum came. Carol, her academic director called her giving the news and confirming the city. She was and still, to be honest, a mess, when she finished the call the anxiety kicked but at the same time she was beyond thankful and started to think about the things that this exchange to England it is going to bring.

Ashton had a brilliant idea to celebrate this big new and from nowhere Michael threw Luke into the water and he said laughing “Oh it wasn’t Luke you were talking about?” acting like he had no idea and then Rosie was pointing at Calum “Don’t you even dare Calum” and he challenged her “What if I dare?” raising his eyebrows and a teasing smile and before she could answer he lifted her from her legs and laid a hand below her butt, again the question is how he can lifts people that easily, he got closer to the dock’s edge and Rosie begged him to at least leave her phone and earphones so he left the things in the ground and when he throws her into the water in the middle of the action Luke yelled at her “his shirt!” and in less than a second she pulled him from where Luke told her. Ashton threw Cami and then he ran after Michael till he succeed.

I heard that good things don't last a while Please don't be the one to leave first They say we're way too young to get the job done Are we really too young to be havin' so much fun? 'Cause I'm not quite sure right now I don't really understand how I am ever really gonna be in love with you 'Cause I never even thought you would want me too I am gone now

The sunset was there with them while splashing water like kids and Ashton looked that from above and thought that despite the childish scene it was good to stop acting like an adult or famous and forgot for a moment of all the pressure and other things because they are in their twenties.

Luke was the first to get out the water by himself since Ashton didn’t want to help him because he knew what was going to happen if. Ashton ran to the cabin so Luke helped the rest to get out the water. Back in the cabin everyone took a shower except for Ashton who obviously wasn’t wet and had a winner face and everyone was calling him a boomer raising the middle finger and Ashton called them “childish”.

After the shower everyone was getting ready in their rooms for the night in ‘Cerebro’, while Ashton was alone in the living room he cooked something for everyone so their stomachs will not be empty for the alcohol. Everyone thanked him sitting in dining table while he disappeared for a shower and asked them to leave him a plate.

Back in the room Cami and Rosie talked about the London thing, how excited Cami was for her and let her know that everything is going to be alright. She asked her if she called her family and she did but the first to know the big new was Calum, she told him in the dock when they were sitting there. “I think this is the first time that Cami or Mario are the first person to tell something” she said adjusting her hair and looking at Calum with a smile while she swung her legs in the air nervously for the situation looking down her feet and Calum supporting his arms in the dock’s edge, he looked at her with a proud smile that made him look so cute with his eyes crinkled and told her something similar like Cami and added that she can trust him and that his sister lives there so he knows it is a good city. Cami faked being surprisedly hurt “You didn’t tell me first?” and Rosie sighed and rolled her eyes making fun of her friend. They got ready, Rosie chose the dress her friend packed secretly, it is a tight baby blue mini dress with really thin straps and it has small sparkly details plus a denim jacket so she could put her belongings and a pair of black vans. And Cami chose a sleeveless black romper and black heels. The applied makeup and Rosie helped her friend with her locs.

In another hand the boys also did justice with their looks. They all were wearing black leggins and their jewelry and just Michael was wearing a really cool pair of sneakers and the rest boots. Calum wore a black plain shirt and on top an open yellow shirt, Ashton with a slightly unbuttoned blue shirt, Michael with a baggy white shirt and a black cap and Luke with a green olive unbuttoned shirt too and asked Rosie if she can applies him that eyeshadow she was wearing and after that they were ready to go.

They went there by walking because ‘Cerebro’ is located in a street of the city center. The weather was perfect, less heat than the rest of the day and you can hear the crickets joining other peaceful sounds of the nature, it was so relaxing before the storm that the club is going to bring.

Getting closer you can hear the music vibrating in the ground. The girls greeted the guard that knows them very well and didn’t need to ask in which list their names were.

Once inside, the girls feel at home since the parties moved to this place but before when they were in high school the parties were at Cami’s cabin when her parents were away and no one knew that the cabin was full of people till one day, the graduation day, the chaos was too much that the neighbors called the police. On another hand, the boys were amazed by the place even when it is just a dance club but the energy was immediately contagious with the people dancing losing themselves in the music. The girls greeted some friends that were waiting for them, Dominique, Kevin and Gigi.

Dominique, is a Rosie’s friend, they met in a the previous Rosie college but Dominique studies botanist. She is tall, has tanned skin, short hair with a dyed streak and the color changes every month, it is like her signature. She's bisexual. She wears glasses. Even when she isn't a good dancer she doesn’t care, she is always down to spend time with her friends and have fun. She is the only one of this trio who speaks english.

Kevin, is friend of both girls but mostly Rosie because they are best friends since primary school. He is tall like the guys because all of his life he’s been practicing athletics. He has tanned skin, big brown eyes, he has a buzz cut, he has lots of moles on his face. He is studying engineering and is the most carefree and cool person you could met and is also a nerd and he doesn’t deny it when Rosie jokes about his love for chess and video games.

Gigi, is friend of both girls since primary school too. She is thin, has long red dyed hair and small eyes and her eyes look even smaller because she barely wears her glasses. She is the most versatile person you could met. She is a tattoo artist, she studies architecture, she likes to dance, hairstyling, and last but not least she is the dj of the club so she is not there with the group, yet. Told you, most versatile person you could met.

They greeted the boys, Dominique commented Rosie that Michael is prettier in person. They walked to the other side of the room while the girls told the boys more about the club about the different three floors it has, a couple of people recognized the boys.

The principal floor is set with blue lights and the music is varied, Gigi is in charge of it so she likes to play from reggaeton, always putting first latin urban music, to today’s hits including the slow ones in the charts. The bar is next to the door they entered, the dj set is on a lift high level platform so you have to climb the stairs to reach the dj, this platform has a panoramic view and every floor has this platform so the dance floor has more space in the room.

The basement is set with neon lights related to the tech music so the clothes could be reflected.

The second floor is set with green and yellow lights because the dj plays afro, dancehall and caribbean music. It is the most aired floor so people sometimes go to smoke or take a breath from dancing.

When everyone drank the first tequila shot of the night, the night started to bring crazy memories.

I'm in love with the thought of you

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cakesunflower · 5 years

Text

Moiety [Bodyguard!Calum] One Shot

Moiety--One of two equal parts.

Summary: Princess Rhea doesn’t want a bodyguard, but when Calum Hood shows up to be her personal security detail, she doesn’t have much of a choice. Especially in matters of the heart.

this....is legit 19k+ words of,,,,,stuff. it’s princess!oc x bodyguard!calum. this is lowkey inspired by Princess Eleanor and Jasper Frost from the tv show The Royals. if you know, you know. hope y’all enjoy. happy reading, folks!

She hadn’t been back for even a week and she already felt as though her freedom was being taken from her. Rhea supposed she shouldn’t be too surprised; she was fortunate enough that her parents let her go off to America by herself in the first place without much, if any, security. But upon returning to Agron, it was difficult for Rhea to even step off of palace grounds without being flanked by guards, making it difficult for her to even visit old friends without a car full of middle aged security guards.

Within just two days of her return, Rhea managed to sneak out of the palace without being detected. She felt like she was a teenager again, rather than a twenty-two year old woman, using the secret passageways and tunnels under her home she had memorized to go to a party or a pub, wanting nothing more than to spend time with friends she had missed while being away for her studies in the United States.

Much to her chagrin, she had only been at the party for about two hours when the royal security guards entered with a powerful wave, looking for the princess who had managed to escape without detection and was the reason of the king’s frustrated mood. Rhea wasn’t one who got embarrassed, having grown up with the confidence of a princess, not at all hindered by the hesitant and frightened looks the partygoers were sending her way as she glared at the head guard. Mr. Barrow was throwing her an exasperated look of her own as she walked past him, knowing the guards would follow her.

“You’re not a child anymore, your Highness,” Mr. Barrow sighed once they got into the car, with Rhea crossing her arms over her chest and pressing herself against the door, mimicking the very petulant child Mr. Barrow was telling her she wasn’t. “Surely now you can understand why it’s important for you to have constant protection.”

“Protection from what?” Rhea demanded with a huff of her own, throwing him a helpless look as the car began moving. “I was perfectly fine in America for four years. If something were to happen, wouldn’t it have by now?”

Mr. Barrow pursed his lips. “Your identity was a strictly kept secret when you were being flown overseas. Besides, Agron is a small country, nonexistent to many, but that does not mean the royal family is not valuable. The King and Queen want you to be safe, your Highness. It was a wonder they didn’t send a portion of our army to watch over you in America.”

Rhea rolled her blue eyes. “That’s a bit dramatic.” Though, she knew entirely, that it wasn’t. Even now that she’s graduated and returned home, Rhea often finds herself in disbelief that her parents let her go so far by herself in the first place. They were always protective, always kept an eye on her and her older brother, Roland. It had taken a lot of begging from Rhea, and some persuasive help from her brother, to finally get their parents to agree.

And, if Rhea was being completely honest, she felt as though she understood why she was being flanked by guards now too. She’d been away for four years, only returning for Christmas, and each time her parents found it difficult to send her back, often suggesting for her to finish her studies in Agron. Now that she was back, it seemed as though they were catching up on keeping her safe in ways they couldn’t when she’d been gone. And while she found herself annoyed because of it, Rhea knew it was because she’d grown used to the independence she had in America. Honestly, she was grateful her parents let her go in the first place; grateful that they respected her desires of getting the best education she could and let her be something more than just the Princess of Agron.

Still, sending practically the entire royal security team after her was a bit overbearing.

A week following her return, Rhea was called to her father’s study after breakfast, smiling at the few maids cleaning the grand living room as she walked through it, following after her dad’s advisor, Mr. Gladwell. “Did he say what this is about?” Rhea asked the older man.

He let out a short, knowing chuckle. “Best if his Majesty explains it himself,” Mr. Gladwell responded, opening the doors to the study and stepping aside to let Rhea walk in.

The first person she noticed was her father, of course, sitting behind the large oak desk decorated with his computer, paperwork, books, trinkets and all sorts of things he could place there. Then she noticed two figures in front of his desk, their backs to her, but Rhea instantly recognized Mr. Burrow as the one on the left. Her eyebrows furrowed in confusion at the one on the right, dressed in the usual black suit that all palace guards wore, taller than Mr. Burrow with broad shoulders and black hair that was seemingly slicked back. His hands were also held behind his back, Rhea’s eyes catching sight of some silver decorating his fingers, and she raised her eyebrows in intrigue as she walked further into the room and towards the desk.

Her father caught sight of her. “Oh, Rhea, come here, love.” He held his arm out to her, signaling for her to come stand by his side, as she walked around the stranger and towards her dad, though she was unable to not look at the unknown man in the room.

And when she did, oh, fuck.

The guy was gorgeous—there was no other way to describe him. He looked clean cut with slicked hair and a sharp jaw, and crisp in his suit and tie, the jacket accentuating his broad shoulders, hugging him nicely. A stoic, serious expression had made home on his handsome face, dark brown eyes focused under thick brows and full lips flat and expressionless. Rhea wasn’t oblivious to the air of confidence and attentiveness surrounding him, looking like he could punch out a guy and not even blink while doing it. Definitely an intimidating aura to him that Rhea didn’t sense in the other security guards—if that’s what he was.

“Rhea, this is Calum Hood,” her father introduced, gesturing to the man who couldn’t be a couple of years older than her. Rhea’s eyes met his at the introduction, feeling a hitch in her throat as her blue clashed with his dark brown. “Mr. Barrow says he’s the best on the palace security team, so we’ve assigned him to be your detail.”

Rhea damn near choked on her breath. What? They were going to assign him—this distractingly handsome, stupidly gorgeous man—to be her personal detail? Was her father punishing her?

“I know you haven’t been a fan of the many guards surrounding you every time you step out—” Her father was speaking again, but Rhea was having trouble focusing because her mind was reeling. She would much rather a middle aged man being her detail than Calum; how was she expected to breathe if someone like him was by her side all the damn time? “—So I’d been talking to Mr. Barrow to see who the best man would be to keep my best girl safe, and this young man is more than qualified for the job. Wouldn’t you say so, Mr. Hood?”

She couldn’t really form words, wasn’t entirely sure what to say. Rhea felt ridiculous, really, for being speechless at this news, for being so utterly taken aback at the sight of her new bodyguard. Honestly—she was sure her father was playing some sort of cruel joke on her.

And then he spoke up, in response to her father’s question with a deep and raspy voice enough to entice goosebumps, and Rhea’s eyes were on Calum’s face as he returned her gaze, expression unreadable as he gave her a single accepting nod. “It’s my pleasure to serve you, your Highness.”

Oh, yes. Rhea most definitely felt her stomach clench tightly at his words.

*****

It took Rhea a day to accept that she had a new, hot security detail. Truthfully, she spent the entire day inside the palace in her room, which meant she didn’t need to be around Calum. While she appreciated her father’s decision to give her just one qualified detail over an entire fucking force—why did he have to choose one who looked like that? Rhea sounded desperate and pleading in her own head but, man, he was gorgeous.

The following night, Rhea actually had to leave the palace. It was one of her good friend’s birthday and, unsurprisingly, everyone wanted to go to a club to celebrate, which Rhea was more than ready to do so, now that she knew she wouldn’t be ambushed by guards every which way. But it wasn’t until she was walking down the palace steps, clad in a black spaghetti strapped jumpsuit that showed off the skin on her back and the valley of her breasts due to the deep V-cut, that she stupidly remembered about the man who would be accompanying her.

For all her royalty and princess-like grace, Rhea almost tripped on the steps when she caught sight of Calum, standing in front of the backseat door of the limo, hands held together in front of him. He was in the standard suit, of course, polished shoes and silver rings glinting under the palace lights, watching her walk down with an intense gaze that sent shivers down her spine. His posture was straight and attentive, expression frustratingly stoic as she finally reached the car.

“Good evenin’, your Highness,” Calum greeted evenly, fighting the urge to let his gaze wander any lower than her eyes, despite feeling the desire to do so. It wasn’t professional, wasn’t something he could let happen, or even think about. He was here to protect the princess, not let his mind delve into inappropriate thoughts at the mere sight of her. No matter how gorgeous she was with hair that was almost black and bright blue eyes that could rival an ocean.

Rhea offered a friendly smile, oblivious to Calum that she was resisting her own wandering eyes. “Calum,” she returned, waiting as he reached behind him to open the door for the car.

Calum shut the door once she slid in, letting out a breath and walking around the car, undoing the button on his jacket as he got in on the other side, shutting the door and settling against the leather as the driver began heading off palace grounds. It was silent in the car, both of them sitting on either end of the seat by the doors, a kind of light tension in the air neither was sure where it was emitting from, but neither oblivious to how the car held a pleasant mixed scent of her perfume and his cologne.

Rhea tried to busy herself for a few moments, scrolling through her social media—being a princess wasn’t going to stop her from tweeting or posting on Instagram—but ultimately grew bored as she locked her phone and put it on her lap. She stared at the device for a couple of seconds before chancing a glance to her right. Calum was staring out the tinted window, earpiece in, sharp jaw set and right arm propped on the windowsill of the car.

It wasn’t awkward, just. . . Silent. Rhea knew what awkwardness felt like, and this wasn’t it; this seemed like Calum was purposefully avoiding looking her way, vehemently staring out the window. She raised her eyebrows, curious, before deciding to break the silence. “So, bodyguard,” her smooth voice broke the silence, instantly catching Calum’s attention as he looked her way, the subtlest lift in his eyebrows. Rhea shifted, crossing one leg over her knee, leaning in his direction ever so slightly. “Tell me about yourself.” She smiled charmingly. “I like to get to know the lives of men who’re working to protect mine.”

Calum eyed her, fighting the tightness in his throat. He knew the princess was pretty; had seen pictures and videos of her before they’d ever met. But actually being in her presence, in her royal state of grace, looking stunning and sexy in clothing no princess years ago would ever be allowed to wear, Calum found himself near speechless at the sight of Princess Rhea. Her bright eyes stood out against her sun kissed skin, long black hair yet another stark contrast—she was fucking ethereal. Nothing less than what anyone would expect of a princess.

“There’s not much know about me,” he found himself responded, voice gruff as his fingers tapped against the windowsill. “Served in Agron’s army since I was eighteen, was discharged at twenty-one, and since was offered a job at the palace’s security team by Mr. Barrow.”

Rhea quirked an eyebrow. “Honorable or dishonorable?”

Calum’s jaw clenched, eyes narrowing ever so slightly—he couldn’t full on scowl at the princess—while controlling his hard tone as he responded, “Honorable.”

She easily picked up on the bite in his tone, not expecting him to not be offended at her question. “Just making sure,” she breezily assured. Calum looked straight ahead then, the muscle in his jaw jumping, and Rhea didn’t want him to be annoyed with her just yet. “What, that’s it? I didn’t ask for your resume, bodyguard. Tell me something more.”

He raised his eyebrows, though a frown was on his lips, as he retorted, “’M here to be your bodyguard, your Highness, not your friend. Your inquiries aren’t going to get you anywhere.”

His words had Rhea gaping at him in surprise, eyebrows shooting up and lips parting in disbelief and, truthfully, a bit of offense. All she was trying to do was get to know him, so he wasn’t just some stranger following her around everywhere, to bring herself a level of comfort that he was someone she knew and could count on. Her old detail, back when she was a teenager, was a man in his mid-thirties named Quentin Jennings, and he had been like an uncle to her. Kind, caring, and not at all stoic as the younger man sitting next to her. Definitely not as cold.

For a moment, Rhea wished she could have Mr. Jennings back.

Rhea clenched her jaw, her expression forming into one of an affronted glare, leaning back against the door with her arms crossed over her chest. It wasn’t even her princess pride that was wounded—it was basic human feelings of being so blatantly brushed aside. Her tone was just as cold as Calum’s as she snapped briskly, “Forgive me for wanting to find a place of trust with the very man who carries my life in his hands.”

She turned to face the window. The club couldn’t arrive fast enough.

*****

Calum knew, from the second Rhea snapped at him, that he, to some extent, hurt the princess’s feelings. The worst part was that he didn’t even think about it—the words had just slipped from his mouth before he could stop them, verbally rejecting her obvious extension of friendship and trust when that’s the very thing a bodyguard should have established with their charge. Because he knew, from experience and from what he was told, that if you pissed off your charge, chances are they would try and make your job that much harder.

Princess Rhea seemed adamant on doing just that.

The club they were currently in was one of the most popular, exclusive ones, which was unsurprising. There were three levels, the ground floor being the dance floor and bar, while the second and third were lounge areas with couches and seats—though the second level had another bar of its own . The lighting was dim, flashes of blues, reds, purples and yellows blinding as they flickered with the beat of the deafening music. Calum stayed with the princess to the best of his abilities, managing to stick close to her as she bounced from friend to friend, going back and forth from the bar to the dance floor as he stood an appropriate distance away, never letting his eyes wander from her.

He stood with his arms crossed over his chest, aware that he stood out shockingly, yet not caring the slightest bit. His tall stature demanded attention, which he didn’t return, as people walked around him even in their drunken stumble to avoid bumping into the imposing, serious faced man.

But it wasn’t until a group of people walked directly past him, obstructing his view, and Calum was quick to move when he realized that. Unfortunately, he didn’t expect the princess to be as slippery, clenching his teeth tightly as she disappeared from his view amidst the dancing crowd of bodies.

“Fuck’s sake,” Calum muttered darkly, walking ahead and right into the crowd, uncaring of the bodies he bumped into or were moving against him to the rhythm of the music. His sharp, observant eyes looked around, the bass of the music pounding in his ears, as he looked every which way for where she could’ve gone.

He was not about to lose the princess in a club because of her spiteful actions, knowing full well she’d realized she was obstructed from her view and decided to take off. Hands clenched into fists, Calum could feel his nails digging into his palms, lifting his gaze to see if he could catch sight of her.

There.

She was a blur of a figure, but Calum was able to get a glimpse of her disappearing up to the second floor, and he immediately took off. His strides were quick and purposeful, using his hands to push aside people in his way, ignoring the few grunts of annoyance they threw back in response that were drowned by the music. Calum went upstairs, two steps at a time, before reaching the second level and looking around.

There were still people dancing around, drinking, but most were lounging on the available seating. Calum narrowed his eyes in search of her, feeling the aggravation heat up his blood. She was being childish, running from him like that, knowing he was only around for her protection. Calum didn’t have patience for that. She may be her Royal Highness, but that didn’t give her the right to evade something for her own good and act like a petulant child just because her feelings were hurt.

He found her easily, sitting on one of the plush couches with her profile to him, laughing at whatever the hell the people around her were saying as she sipped from a glass. Unable to help himself or loosen the tightness of his jaw, Calum stalked over, walking right behind the couch. Bracing his hands on top of it, he leaned down, lips dangerous close to the ears of someone he probably wasn’t even worthy of whispering to, feeling her tense up at his presence as he ignored the few looks being sent their way.

“I’ll ask you not to do that again, Princess. For your own safety.”

His voice was low, silent over the thundering music, yet calm and controlled, and Rhea heard him loud and clear, his warm breath pleasantly fanning against her skin, enough to create goosebumps. She could feel some of her friends’ eyes on them, most of the girls intrigued by the new hot bodyguard, but Rhea kept her lips pursed and gaze on her nearly finished margarita. Her stomach churned at the way he spoke—almost threatening, a manner of speaking that no other security guard dared talk to her in.

And even though this was their first time with him actually detailing her, Rhea could already tell Calum Hood was definitely not like the other guards she’s been around.

Still, she wasn’t going to let him rattle her. So she stood up while finishing off her drink, turning around to face Calum, who now stood straight behind the couch with his dark eyes on her blue. He looked wonderful with the colors of the club splashing across his skin, jaw once again set and eyes screaming no-nonsense stoicism.

Rhea leaned towards him, the couch separating them, and raised her eyebrows. “You’re my bodyguard, not my babysitter,” she spoke pointedly, not missing the way his eyebrows twitched into a frown. “You do not tell me what to do.”

Not bothering to wait for a response or reaction, Rhea turned and began walking, heading straight towards the bar located on this floor. Of course, Calum’s eyes followed her every move, not even acknowledging the eyes of her friends he could feel on him, watching as she settled on a stool and easily flagged down the bartender. Her status granted her whatever she wanted within seconds.

The bar wasn’t too far from where he stood, could see her perfectly. She sat sideways on the stool, flashing her brilliant smile at the bartender once her margarita was in her hand, one leg cross over the other as she sipped elegantly through the thin black straw. There were people all around her, her presence attraction attention wherever she went, and Calum shifted a bit closer around the couch in case his view got obstructed. He watched her surroundings, watched the people approaching her and talking to her and making her laugh.

He ignored the twist he felt in his chest at the sight of her smile, marking it up as just another pretty face. And he just watched.

They were at the club for hours and though she tried, Rhea couldn’t escape from Calum’s gaze a second time. The more alcohol she downed, the more focused Calum got, as if he hadn’t already been before. He stayed close by, an ever present shadow that he knew was beginning to bother Rhea by how many times she tried to duck away from him. But he always caught up with her.

It was around three in the morning when her friends were deciding to call it a night, drunkenly hugging one another before departing. When the last of her friends left, Calum took a step closer towards the princess. “Come on, your Highness, we should get goin’ as well.”

“Hold on,” Rhea drawled, holding one finger up while her other hand wrapped around a glass. “After this one,” she added before beginning to sip it.

Calum pursed his lips, buttoning his suit jacket as he raised a dubious, tired eyebrow. He wasn’t too sleepy, but the continuous music had been pounding in his head and he wanted to get the princess back to the palace so he could greet his mattress. “Haven’t you had enough to drink?”

Rhea frowned, head bowing drunkenly as she glanced at him. Just by the sluggish expressions on her face Calum could tell she was drunk, along with how many drinks he’d seen her consume throughout the night. The princess was definitely going to be hungover in the morning. “Didn’t I tell you to stop telling me what to do?” she shot back, scoffing before going back to sipping her drink.

Calum rolled his eyes, standing a few stools away from her against the bar, leaning on his left elbow to face her as he flagged down the bartender. “Just doin’ my job,” he told her flatly before asking for a glass of whiskey. He knew his tolerance, knew a glass wouldn’t have any hindering effects on him.

The club was a bit more peaceful now since it was closing soon. There were people still lingering about, waiting for friends or just really waiting for the place to close before they could leave. He heard Rhea snort. “Which is what? Protect me from getting drunk?” She raised her glass at him, smiling sweetly. “Too late for that, bodyguard.”

Fortunately, they finished their drinks soon enough, and Calum stood up from his stool just as Rhea stood up from hers, and he quickly faced her when she let out a noticeable, startled gasp before stumbling towards Calum.

He frowned, one hand automatically wrapping around her waist as she nearly drunkenly tripped on her heels, her hand bracing herself against the bar. “What?” Calum asked, looking down at her in alarm. His alertness only increased when he saw the incredulous, disgusted expression on her face, eyes wide and startled under furrowing eyebrows and lips parted while tilted into a frown. “What happened?”

Rhea let out a sharp breath, straightening herself as she blinked, trying to get her hazy thoughts together before turning her head towards Calum. He ducked her head towards her, ear right by her mouth as he heard her shakily whisper, “That guy just—just fucking groped me.”

Calum pulled his head away from her, shooting her an incredulous, pissed off look of his own as Rhea pursed her lips, and through her drunken haze Calum could see the discomfort and disgust marring her features. Her words ignited a fire in his veins, fueled by his blood, as his eyes darted to the man that had been sitting on the stool on the other side of Rhea, innocently sipping on his beer.

Withdrawing his arm from around Rhea, Calum’s jaw tightened as he stepped up to the guy, blood pumping. “Oi!” Calum sounded, voice rough and loud, causing the guy to actually jump, even startling the bartender. The guy paled at the sight of Calum’s narrow eyed, tight scowl, trying to scramble to his feet but Calum’s hand shot out, ring clad fingers gripping the older man’s jaw roughly as he pulled him to his feet. “You got a problem keepin’ your hands to yourself?”

Rhea watched, stunned and frozen in place, clutching her bag to her as the scene unfolded. She felt her skin crawl at the thought and feel of being touched without her consent, heart pounding as she watched Calum so easily hold the guy in place just with his hand. There was a look of fear in the guy’s eyes, and while she couldn’t see Calum’s face, except for the tense rigidness of his back and shoulders, she figured he probably looked terrifying.

“I’m—I’m sorry, lad. Didn’t know she was your girl,” the guy stammered back, eyes wide and pleading to be let go.

Rhea noticed him wince, realized it was because Calum tightened the grip of his fingers against his jaw, flinching herself slightly. “She’s not my girl—she’s the fuckin’ princess, you twat,” Calum growled out. If possible, the guy’s eyes widened even more, the terror on his face intensifying at the revelation of who he touched inappropriately, his eyes briefly flickering over to where Rhea stood. He clamped her lips together, hoping to let a glare wash over her face, as her teeth pressed together. Calum roughly pulled the guy’s gaze back to him. “Hey, don’t look at her,” he snapped, voice gruff and low and dangerous. “You don’t fuckin’ touch a woman unless she wants you to, right? And you most certainly don’t touch the fuckin’ princess unless you want your fingers broken.”

“It won’t happen again,” the guy stammered out in broken breaths, looking and sounding frightened beyond belief. He was staring, wide eyed, at Calum, paralyzed by the bodyguard’s severe gaze and unable to look away. “I-I’m sorry.”

Calum’s movements were swift, his hand going from the guy’s jaw to the back of his neck, moving the stranger in front of his body and forcing him into a bowing position with his grip on him. They were now facing Rhea, Calum standing behind him, looking completely at ease despite the aggravation radiating off of him, and Rhea watched, with slightly widened eyes, as Calum told the guy, “I’m not the one you should be apologizing to.”

The man tried raising his head, but Calum’s grip kept him bowed. “I’m—I sincerely apologize, your Highness,” he stuttered, his gaze on her heel clad feet, unable to look any further because of his position. “Please forgive me.”

Rhea was a bit stunned at the situation; she’d seen some bodyguards have to deal with rowdy people, seen them pull guns on those who had something against her or her family. She’d been gone for four years; there’d been times back in America when she was hit on or touched when she’d go out with friends, but there were no bodyguards to come to her defense instantly. The scene in front of her was both shocking and, in a way, relieving.

She refused to think about how fucking hot Calum looked, handling this gross man in front of her.

She didn’t want to give this guy another second of her attention, instead looking at Calum, meeting his gaze as she crossed her arms over her chest and asked in a tone she hoped was steady, “I’d like to get home now.”

Calum gave her a nod, shooting one last scowl at the man before roughly pushing him away. He stumbled, nearly crashing into a couch, and neither of them spared him another look as Calum guided Rhea down the stairs and towards the exit. They were silent, even through the small crowd of paparazzi that had formed outside, flashing their cameras at Rhea. She used one hand to shield her eyes, surprised she wasn’t tripping on her feet, her drunk suddenly making her feel sluggish and lazy.

She felt Calum’s hand on the small of her back, felt his touch burn her skin through her clothing, and she swallowed through her dry throat as he used his other arm to keep people at bay as they reached the car and he got her inside quickly. Just the brief encounter with the camera flashes had Rhea squeezing her eyes shut, hoping to fight off the headache she knew was coming, especially in relation to how much she drank. Was it possible for her not to even feel drunk, though, despite how much she drank, because of what just occurred inside the club?

All she could think of was Calum and the way he handled that man.

Rhea leaned her head against the headrest, staring up at the ceiling of the car as the driver pulled away from the club, letting out a breath. She then rolled her head to the right, looking at Calum, taking in the curve of his jaw and the fullness of his lips and the long sweep of his eyelashes. “Thank you,” she finally said, her small voice breaking the quiet of the car.

Calum looked at her, brown eyes meeting blue, and Rhea wasn’t sure if she was imagining it but she saw the subtlest shift in his expression, his features softening just a bit. “Like I said—just doin’ my job,” he told her, his voice a lot less intense than it was before. He then gave a nod. “But you’re welcome.”

She found herself offering him a smile, despite her previous annoyance with him throughout the night, despite her immature attempts of trying to hide from him. He had rubbed her the wrong way, come off as kind of as an authoritative jerk, but he definitely stepped up when she needed him to. Maybe he wasn’t so bad. Maybe she could trust him.

*****

“I’m surprised you haven’t jumped him yet.”

Rhea let out a scoff, shooting her friend Mercedes an affronted yet amused look. “I’ve got more self-control than that, Mer.”

Mercedes raised her eyebrows, green eyes sparkling mischievously. “Do you?” she countered with a smirk.

The princess pursed her lips, though they quirked up in a smile as she kept in the laugh threatening to escape, hiding it in the champaign she was sipping on. Her eyes wandered towards the subject of their conversation, stationed by one of the entryways in his usual pose of straight back and hands in front of him, another bodyguard standing with him at the entrance. His watchful eyes observed the banquet hall, full of guests for the Queen, Rhea’s mother’s, birthday. A grand affair, the palace full of people, bringing out the entire royal security team for the celebration.

Calum looked handsome, as usual, and Rhea couldn’t help but consider Mercedes’s words. It’s been over a month since he’d been assigned to her and Rhea wasn’t going to lie—she was surprised herself that she’s lasted so long. Every time she caught sight of him, every time he was in her presence, Rhea could feel her stomach tighten and flutter and heart pick up its pace. It wasn’t just his looks, though; it was him. The air that surrounded him—confident, strong, authoritative, not at all someone who's bad side one would want to get on.

Things between the two of them weren’t all that different since that night at the club. He was still stoic, focused on work, and the two of them sometimes clawed at each other’s throats because he wasn’t the conversation type and Rhea still wanted to know more about him. She wasn’t used to not getting what she wanted. Definitely a princess privilege, one she often took advantage of—one Calum didn’t feed into.

His eyes would wander over to her more than they should, keeping his jaw clenched every time he heard her laugh, his grip on his own hands tightening as she posed for pictures with friends and family, looked away when her eyes would find his. He’d take a breath, lift his chin, and keep his usual blank expression as he made sure everything was going smoothly. But her eyes—he always found himself wanting to give into them.

Calum was sure Rhea knew exactly what she was doing, every time those blue eyes landed on him, watching him with a seemingly innocent expression with clear undertones of unspoken intentions. She looked at him the way he looked at her when no one was looking, sinful thoughts swirling in his mind that no bodyguard should have for his charge—much less a royal.

“The princess is leaving the banquet hall,” Mr. Barrow’s voice came in through the earpiece, and Calum’s eyes immediately went to where he had seen her last. She wasn’t there, but Calum caught sight of her heading towards the other entranceway and, as though she felt his gaze, Rhea’s eyes met his. And despite the distance between them, upon their eyes locking, Calum saw the smirk curling at her lips. “Hood, keep your eye on her.”

Keeping track of the royals during palace events was always an intense duty, just as much as it was when they were out and about. It was a big home, with many people, and while the security measures on palace grounds were intense, nothing was perfect, so the guards in charge of specific royals rarely ever left their sides.

Rhea’s smirk widened when she saw Calum say something into the mouthpiece before clicking the button off and making his way towards her, and she continued walking. Calum followed after her, exiting the buzzing banquet hall and stepping out into the long, quieter corridors of the palace. She was about twenty feet ahead of him and he could easily catch up, but kept at his pace, allowing himself a brief moment to admire the sway of her hips and the way the navy blue satin dress clung to her body, the slit sensually showing off her left leg.

They were in the wing of the house where her bedroom was located, one that Calum never really entered. He always waited outside or in the doorway, never stepping through the threshold because Calum had this paranoid belief if he did, he wouldn’t want to fucking leave.

When she reached her door and opened it, Calum commented, “Party’s the other way, Princess.”

Rhea looked at him, a subtle raise in her brows, one hand on the doorknob, her charming smile once again on her red lips. “Real party’s in here, bodyguard.”

His pace slowed down at her words, picking up on the unapologetically suggestive tone of her voice, and Rhea smiled sweetly before entering the room, and Calum let out a sharp breath as he flickered his gaze to the ceiling. Over a month into this job and the princess was not making things any easier for him. Harder, if anything. In every sense of the word.

The amount of times he yearned to touch her in more ways than just a guiding hand on her back burned his veins, forcing himself to ignore those feelings and focus on the damn job.

He didn’t go into the room, instead opting to stand by the door with his back to the wall and arms crossed over his chest. His jaw clenched, trying not to think of the woman on the other side of the door, how fine she looked in that expensive dress and how pretty her red lips looked. A princess in every sense of the word.

The door opened and from his peripheral Calum saw Rhea poke her head out, long hair swaying as she tilted her head at him. “Not even going to keep me company, bodyguard?” she hummed innocently

Calum kept his gaze on the gold trimmed wall opposite of him. “Not my job.”

Rhea let out a breathy laugh, not at all turned away by his brisk response like she normally was. Honestly, maybe she was some kind of masochist, but Calum’s indifference only egged her on, only made her attracted to him even more. Made her want to loosen up the firm, broody man. “You work for me, remember?” she reminded, lips curling when she saw the muscle in his jaw jump. She pointed to herself. “Princess say—” She then pointed at him, smiling. “Bodyguard do.”

This time he looked at her, eyes narrowing at demand in her sugar coated tone, feeling his muscles tense. She had the habit of pointing out their positions, how she was, technically, his boss as a member of the royal family. Calum knew it was because she liked riling him up, tried to get some kind of reaction out of him, and he never gave in. he continued doing his job, sticking to accompanying her when she went out with friends at night and did her princess duties of visiting the charities and shelters she enjoyed giving her time to.

In the past month, he’s seen her drink the night away and watched her hold and love on sick babies and animals in pet shelters, and it stirred something in his chest each time. There were two sides of the princess, both equally as intriguing, and Calum found himself in awe of her. She was. . . Something.

He followed her into the room, reaching behind him to shut the double doors, watching as Rhea sat on the edge of her bed and took a drag out of her dab pen. Calum had come to learn the princess preferred that over proper joints, giving up on those after she bought the pen in her sophomore year of university.

Calum’s eyes were on her, feet moving without much thought as he watched her lean back on the bed, bracing herself with her left hand, one leg crossing over the other as the slit exposed smooth skin Calum felt his fingers itching to touch. She looked ravenous, hair falling down her back and showing off her neck and collarbones, pretty lips wrapped around the end of the pen before she let out a curl of smoke after holding it in for a bit.

He stopped in front of her, looking down at her seated figure, as she held the pen out to him. “’M on duty.”

Rhea let out an airy scoff with a roll of her eyes, still holding the pen up. “Every security personnel is on duty. A hit or two isn’t going to bring on the end of the world, Calum.”

He preferred when she called him bodyguard. The sound of his name falling past her lips in her voice had too much of a reaction emitting from him, more than one would deem normal. His dark eyes were on her, watching the encouraging smile on her face as she wiggled the pen around enticingly, and Calum was put in a battle of wills. He had built a tolerance to weed, having smoked his fair share enough that it took him more than a few hits to get high, but doing so on the job was grounds for getting fired.

Sure, he knew he wouldn’t get too, or at all, high but it would still be a pretty big risk. If any of the other guards, especially Mr. Barrow, even suspected he wasn’t at all sober then he could be in some serious shit. The smart, rational thing to do would be to reject Rhea’s offer and seat himself on the couch as she indulged herself. It was the logical, safer choice.

But he’d rejected Rhea and the feelings she effortlessly invoked in him for a month too long. And the way she looked, stunning and smiling and looking like the opposite of a logical and safe choice, Calum felt himself giving in.

Rhea grinned when he took the pen from her, holding it between ring clad fingers and watching as his cheeks hollowed slightly, showing off his jaw and cheekbones as he took the drag. “Lookin’ to get me fired, Princess?” he breathed out a moment later, still looking down at her, still not moving away.

“You won’t get fired,” she told him with a roll of her eyes, taking the pen from him. Her smile was alluring, inviting. “Won’t let it happen. A princess’s promise.”

Calum snorted, the smallest of smirks on his lips as she brought the pen between her lips once more. The sarcasm was clear in his voice as he said, “I’m honored.”

“You should be,” Rhea scoffed. The room, while the size of a small apartment, was slowly starting to hold the faint scent of weed, particularly where the two of them were. “I don’t make those just for anyone—especially not for rude, moody bodyguards.”

He quirked an eyebrow. “Rude?”

Rhea shot him a disbelieving look. “Yes, rude. Every time I try to make conversation with you about you, you blow me off. And you’re a dick about it.”

Calum wanted to laugh in amusement. He was well aware of the princess’s desires of wanting to get to know him, and he was careful on not indulging her. At first it was because he wanted to keep things professional—just a charge and her bodyguard. In his mind, it would keep things the way they were supposed to be between them, wouldn’t bring anything to a personal level, but as Calum thought about it, he figured that was already out the window with just how the two of them looked at each other. There was nothing professional about that.

“Alright,” he finally sighed, plucking the little gadget from her fingers and taking a hit. He was a few in and, as expected, didn’t feel much. “What do you want to know?”

Her eyebrows shot up, surprised that he was giving in, eyes lighting up in delight that he was finally willing to open up in anyway. Eyes giving him a once over, Rhea not for the first time took in the broad shoulders and crisp shirt and the slicked back hair and, wow, he looked good. But she forced herself to focus, eyes dropping to his ring decorated hands, before something clicked and she nodded to them. “Those tattoos. What do they mean?”

She’d seen them, obviously, three letters inked on both of his hands that she always wondered what they stood for. Calum raised his eyebrows, not entirely expecting that, as he glanced down at his hands, as if realizing he had tattoos on them. “They’re initials,” he answered after a moment. “My mum and dad’s.”

His answer had Rhea’s heart melting, her expression softening because that was fucking adorable. The big bad bodyguard had his parents’ initials tattooed on him? That revelation was unexpected and kind of just made her attracted to him all the more. Rhea took a breath, straightening her back as she leaned back a bit and kept her over adoring reaction at bay and instead mused, “Family man. That’s really sweet.”

Calum gave a one shouldered shrug, gaze dropping to the exposed skin of her leg, an action that didn’t go unnoticed by her. Just like she didn’t not notice the way he watched her throughout the night. “’M a sweet guy, believe it or not.”

That made Rhea let out a laugh, slowly feeling the buzz of her high creep in. “I don’t believe it, no offense,” she responded. There was a warmth that was spreading through her, and Rhea wasn’t sure if it was because of the high or because of the man in front of her, but she didn’t question it. She stood up, her eyes never leaving his dark ones, her heels giving her a bit of height but still not enough to be eye level with the handsome man. But she took a step towards him, the distance between them limited, as he stayed in place and kept her gaze. Rhea leaned towards him, her hand coming up to play and grasp at his tie, giving it the slightest tug. Calum’s jaw clenched, especially when her voice dropped to an enticing murmur. “Because sweet guys don’t look at princesses the way you look at me.”

She felt smug satisfaction course through her veins when she noticed the way his throat worked at her words, seeing the small crack in his usual stoicism. He kept his lips pursed, full and looking so ready to be kissed. Rhea would be lying if she said their proximity wasn’t having an effect on her, just like she’d be lying if she said every time he touched her just for the simple matter of guiding her through a crowd didn’t burn her skin.

Calum lifted his chin, Rhea mirroring the movement with a lip parted smirk, her hand still gripping his tie. “Don’t make it sound like you don’t enjoy it.”

Her grin widened, heart thumping. “I’d enjoy it even more if you forgot the idea of look and don’t touch.”

She’d been pushing him for the past month, but had never been this obvious about what she wanted—him. He could feel his pants tightening with every word she uttered, with every inch of distance she closed, with the alluring look in her eyes that could probably start and end wars. She was taking control of the power she had over him he had tried to keep out of her reach, power he tried to keep himself from giving into. But, fuck, not anymore.

His left hand shot up and grasped the back of her head, tilting it back to get her to keep eye contact, hearing the small gasp that escaped her at the action. There was a fire burning in the pit of Calum’s stomach at the sight of the excitement and desire lighting up her eyes, not even sparing a second as his lips came down on hers.

There was nothing slow about them; not in Rhea’s reaction in kissing him back or the way both of their grips tightened on the other—in how Rhea used his tie to keep him close and his grip on her head tightened as his tongue met hers in urgent, needy strokes. Her body felt like it was on fire from just his kiss, and Calum could feel every drop of blood in his veins as every sense of his was heightened by the princess’s touch.

Calum threw caution in the wind, pushing away the fact that this was the princess, that he most definitely shouldn’t be doing this. But her touch was enticing, her kiss intoxicating, and Calum groaned into her mouth as he felt her untuck his button down from his pants and deftly begin to undo the buttons.

Their movements were quick, urgent, as she slid the jacket and shirt off his shoulders in one go, right after undoing his tie and tossing it to the floor while also ridding of the gun sling—that she was more careful of disposing. But before she could even reach for his pants, Calum broke their elongated kiss and used his grip on her hips to push her onto the bed. For a moment, he allowed himself to admire her kiss swollen lips, which were a bit smudged in red lipstick that he knew was probably decorating his mouth too, and he couldn’t help but think how fucking delicious she looked, staring up at him with wide, eager eyes that took in the tattoos decorating his skin. Her eyes flickered over them all and Calum knew eventually he’d be expected to answer questions about them, and he found himself ready to give her the answers.

But for now, he dropped to his knees as she remained laying, only propped up by one elbow, gasping when his hands found her hips and he roughly pulled her to the edge of the bed. Calum’s right hand trailed up her leg, exposed thanks to the slit on her dress, fingers feathering over her skin until he reached the waistband of her underwear, hidden just underneath the dress.

Calum wished there was time to admire her, to worship every inch of her royal skin, but there was a party going on in the palace and people were sure to miss the presence of their princess. And as much as he wanted her to be just his princess for as long as possible, he knew he didn’t have that luxury tonight, knew she’d have to go back out soon.

So he practically tore her underwear off, smirking at the protesting yelp that passed her lips as well as the lace panty that matched her dress. Calum shushed her, ignoring the narrowing of her blue eyes, as he pulled up her dress, and Rhea was quick to sit up just enough to expertly undo the zipper before pulling it over her head, dropping it on the bed as Calum admired the sight of her in the navy blue bra that left little to the imagination. His breath hitched, cock twitching in the confines of his pants, as she took off that, too, showing off breasts he yearned to get his mouth on, but he’d give into that another time.

Time was limited, but he still demanded just a little taste.

Arms wrapping around her thighs, Calum pulled the princess all the way towards him before delving his tongue to her waiting entrance, no foreplay for the foreplay. He would love to take it slow, to indulge in every second and in her for as long as possible, but they couldn’t tonight.

Rhea gasped at the sensation of his warm tongue giving attention to her core, head tilting back as her hands found home in his hair. Her fingers tangled in the soft strands, tugging at them, earning a groan of approval from the bodyguard, the sounds he was making vibrating throughout Rhea’s body. His right arm went across her hips, keeping her still as his tongue sinfully slid between her folds, her taste making him dizzy and the feel of his tongue between her walls driving her absolutely mad, along with his left hand trailing up and ring clad fingers gripping her breast, fingers teasing the perky nipple.

Her breath was picking up, sensual, appreciative whimpers escaping the princess that only egged Calum on, thumb flexing to rub on her clit to send even more waves of pleasures through her writhing body. He felt her fingers push back his hair, took the opportunity to flicker his gaze up and lock his eyes with hers just as he took her clit between his lips, a smirk curling when Rhea let out the most gorgeous sound and squeezed her eyes shut while throwing her head back, completely at his mercy as her hips ground against his mouth, desperately wanting more.

She was about to fall off the edge, knew her high was about to reach its peak, and Calum gave her clit one last kiss before completely pulling away, denying her the release she was so fucking close to. Rhea’s chest fell with the heavy breath she released, face flushed a pretty pink as she found the energy to lift her head to glare at him. “What the fu—”

He shut her up with his lips on hers, and she returned the eager kiss as he worked his pants off blindly, pulling out a condom from his wallet, their bare chests pressed together. The relief he felt to rid his cock from its confines wouldn’t be matched until it was buried in her, he knew, and as he rolled the condom on Calum mumbled gruffly against Rhea’s lips, “Want you to cum around me, Princess.”

Rhea’s arms looped under his, nails digging into his shoulders right when he sank into her. The room was filled with the sounds they made and the scent of weed, and Rhea was sure Calum could give her a better high than any drug as she felt him fill up every inch of her, gasping against his mouth as his lips dragged against hers. Calum right hand placed itself against the mattress next to her head, keeping himself up, his other arm folded between them as his ring clad fingers found her throat as he began fucking into her, the bite of his rings something Rhea didn’t know she needed but hoped would leave some kind of marks. Maybe he should’ve taken her from behind, rough and fast, but he wanted to see her face; wanted to watch every pleasurable expression her features made and watch the sounds escape from her pretty lips.

Each drag of his cock, each ridge she could feel against her walls, had Rhea gasping for breath as Calum’s teeth took her lower lip hostage, hips slamming into hers as the sound of skin slapping against skin joined the room, the sounds she was making only edging him on more. She looked dizzy with desire, eyes closing and eyebrows arching at every thrust and movement she felt inside.

“Feel so good around me, Princess,” Calum rasped, reveling in the way her nails dug into his skin, hoping she’d leaven crescent shapes in her wake. He dragged his lips up her jaw, never relenting in his thrusts, drunk on how snug she felt around him. His lips sucked a spot on her neck, apparently being the exact area that had her letting out a moan of approval, the feel of his lips and teeth and scruff against her skin inviting. “Fit for a fuckin’ king.”

Rhea’s hand went to the back of his head, once again tangling her fingers in his hair, legs around his waist as he pounded into her. She could feel her orgasm building quickly, especially from being denied before, her heart thundering and skin alight on a fire she didn’t want to put out. “All for you,” she gasped out, nails dragging across his scalp while the others dug into his shoulder. “Oh, fuck, Calum, ’m close.”

“Me too, doll,” he groaned, feeling the tight knot ready to release, pressing his forehead against hers as he said, “Let go for me, yeah? Let go, princess.”

She saw stars behind her eyes, holding Calum close as she felt her body give into him and everything he was evoking in her, and his moans joined hers as he sounded them against her when he felt her release, himself following soon after with stuttering hips and a deep groan that sent shivers down Rhea’s heated body. Calum closed his eyes, burying his face in the crook of her neck, inhaling her sweet scent as he rode out his high, overwhelmed with a tight chest as his stubble sensually scratched her skin and her arms remained wrapped around him.

Fuck the party. She wanted to stay like this for as long as they could.

*****

Waking up to the sound of a belt buckling, Rhea blinked open her eyes, only to close them briefly as she stretched with a soft whine and turn onto her other side, eyes opening to catch sight of Calum standing by the bed, in his pants and unbuttoned shirt. His eyes met hers as he finished fixing the belt, a small smile quirking at the corners of his lips. Even with her just waking up, she was still the prettiest sight he could ever be lucky enough to witness.

“What time is it?” she hummed sleepily, the room still a bit dark, telling her the sun hadn’t risen all the way yet.

“Nearly five,” Calum answered, voice thick and heavy from just waking up. His hair was still in a bed head mess, curly atop his head—a style Rhea had voiced her appreciation on a number of times. She groaned at the early hour, burying her face in his pillow, adoring how it smelt like him. “I’ve got to meet with Barrow before the start of the day.”

Rhea huffed, pressing the blanket to her bare chest as she sat up, bringing it up to her neck because it was chilly in her room. Calum’s body had provided optimal warmth throughout the night and she yearned for him to join her back on the bed. “Can’t stay for just a few more minutes?”

“Sorry, princess,” he responded regretfully, and, God, him calling her by her title shouldn’t sound as hot as it did. Buttoning the rest of his shirt up, he leaned down and pressed a kiss to her pouting lips, smirking lazily when he pulled away and she tried to follow his lips with closed eyes. “Duty calls.”

The pout returned to her lips, shoulders dropping as she looked up at him with those pretty blue eyes. “Your duty is to look after me.”

Calum chuckled fondly, tucking his shirt in before reaching for his tie on the floor. “Only when you’re vulnerable and need the protection.”

“I’m naked in my bed. That’s pretty vulnerable, isn’t it?”

He rolled his eyes, though the grin remained on his face as he picked up his gun sling before pulling out the weapon from the bedside drawer, holstering it and pulling on his suit jacket. Calum then grasped Rhea’s chin with his fingers, tipping her face up as he dipped down to kiss her once more. “Go back to sleep, angel. I’ll see you in a few hours, yeah?”

She smiled, soft and beautiful and breathtaking. “I look forward to it.”

He was gone a few minutes later after putting on his socks and shoes and fixing his hair as best he could. But Rhea couldn’t fall back asleep, instead laying in the center of her bed as she stared up at the ceiling, biting down on her lower lip to keep herself from grinning too widely.

It was a constant feeling now, one of flutters in her stomach and her heart racing and skin warming and cheeks hurting from smiling, when it came to Calum. Over two weeks ago did they first sleep together at the night of her mother’s birthday, and now him sleeping in her bed wasn’t unusual. After that night, things had drastically changed between them for the better.

For one, Calum was more open to her. That night, after the party was over, he snuck back into her room once again, the two of them immediately falling into her bed together, though that time they had taken their time. Pleasured each other leisurely, passionately, like they couldn’t before. And then they laid in bed, and Rhea asked about one of his tattoos, and he explained the meaning behind it. And then she fell asleep with his arm around her and woke up the next morning with him still in her bed, and she felt an overwhelming surge of something for him.

Of course, their discretions didn’t stop there. They found many places in the palace to steal kisses and orgasms, ranging from the wine cellar to the palace library. They were either quick and rough or slow and passionate, and Rhea thoroughly enjoyed both endeavors. At the same time, Rhea got to know Calum more; he talked about his family, his friends, his life. She got to know mundane details about him as well as memories he held dear, and she divulged into her own childhood as he asked more about her, too.

And they fell. Quick and fast and dizzyingly so, but neither were upset about. Neither fought it. It felt good. It felt right. Never had she felt such a connection, a balance, with anyone else, and never had anyone looked at her or made her feel alive like Calum did.

Every time he kissed her, held her, looked at her—Rhea knew he felt the same way.

It wasn’t until noon did Rhea see Calum again, when she was exiting the palace’s doors and heading down the steps to her waiting car so they could make a trip to a soup kitchen. Unlike when they first met, Calum flashed her a charming, boyish grin as she descended the steps, and Rhea admired that his initial stoicism and blank expressions were gone, for the most part. He was still ever focused on his duties, especially when they weren’t in the safe grounds of the palace, but ever since they got together, he made it a point to offer her a gorgeous smile, a bit of a reminder to both of them that he wasn’t just her bodyguard anymore.

“Afternoon, princess,” Calum greeted smoothly once she reached him. “Have a good night’s sleep?”

Rhea smirked at the amusement lighting up his brown eyes. “You know I did.”

He chuckled, smile turning cocky as he reached behind him to open the door. Just as Rhea was about to get in, however, a voice halted her movements. “Forgive me, your Highness.” She paused, left hand on top of the door, as she looked over to see Mr. Barrow coming down the steps, another security personnel following behind him. Both Calum and Rhea looked at the head of security in question as he continued, “But I’m afraid I’m going to have to ask Mr. Hood to stay back. There’s some important matters I must discuss with him.”

Rhea frowned, not liking or used to leaving the palace without Calum at her side. While initially she hadn’t been a fan of his presence, now Rhea looked forward to it every time she had to go somewhere. For a time, she got to be alone with him. “Can’t it wait until we get back?”

Mr. Barrow shot her an apologetic look. “I’m afraid not,” he responded before gesturing to the bodyguard next to him. “Mr. Irwin will accompany you for today.”

Rhea looked at the other man, familiar in face and name, who shot her a polite, professional smile that hinted at dimples. Then her gaze shifted to her usual detail, who was frowning at the change, the muscle in his jaw ever so subtly jumping. She wondered what he was thinking, wanted to ask if he was okay, but there was no time. She couldn’t be late, and as much as she wanted Calum to go with her, Rhea hoped whatever Mr. Barrow needed to talk to him about would be resolved quickly so whenever her next outing was, her favorite bodyguard would be at her side.

“Alright,” Rhea sighed, knowing there wasn’t much she could do about it if it was important. She offered Calum a small smile when he looked at her, catching the look in his dark eyes that told her he didn’t want to let her go without him. He had told her once that he found himself genuinely being worried for her safety, wanting to protect her from any potential threat that may be directed her way, and Rhea had felt her heart open up to him in a way it hadn’t for anyone. It made everything feel fast, like they were rushing, but she couldn’t bring herself to care. Not when it felt so perfect. “See you later, bodyguard.”

He offered a nod, giving the smallest of smiles as she got in the car and Ashton walked around to get in the other side. Rhea watched as Calum shut the door behind her, the car pulling away too soon as she sat against the seat, frowning at her lap. She glanced at Ashton, asking him, “Do you happen to know what Barrow wants to talk to Calum about?”

Ashton looked at her before an apologetic expression flashed across his face. “No, your Highness, I don’t. But I’m sure it’s nothing to worry about.”

Except, for the life of her, that’s all Rhea did. They arrived to the soup kitchen and while she walked and talked with the director, all Rhea could think of was Calum. There was a moment where she wondered if what Mr. Barrow had to talk to Calum was about the two of them, that if somehow Mr. Barrow found out. But there wasn’t some rule that Calum couldn’t be with Rhea; sure, it was frowned upon, given his job and her title, but it wasn’t law. The prince and princess were free to be with whoever they wanted, their parents not ones for marrying their children off to the next available suitor. Calum had made a comment, their first night together, about being fired for being with her. But Rhea highly doubted that would happen. Calum shouldn’t be punished for being with her, and if it came to it, she refused to let it happen.

Maybe she was being paranoid. Hopefully.

But it wasn’t until she arrived back to the palace, a few hours later, and received a text from Calum to meet him in the tunnels under the palace. Her heels clicked against the cement floor, squinting slightly against the dim light until she caught sight of his figure leaning against the wall, a familiar glow of the end of a cigarette as he took a drag of it.

“Hey,” she greeted with a smile, coming to a stop in front of him. But then her smile diminished at the sight of his expression, saw the way his jaw remained tight as he blew out a cloud of smoke, head tilted back and throat working a bit. His expression was blank, and Rhea didn’t like seeing that face on him unless they were in public and he was completely focused on his duties. “Calum,” she frowned, taking a step towards him. “What’s wrong?”

“Barrow knows.” Rhea blinked, surprised by his words despite her own suspicions earlier. Calum straightened his head, the sole of his right foot propped against the wall, cigarette between his finger. “And while I’m not relieved of my duties to the palace, I am relieved of my duties as your personal detail. Some bullshit about conflict of interest.”

That made her let out a sharp, incredulous breath, eyes widened under drawn together eyebrows as indignation flooded her veins. While she could be glad that Calum wasn’t completely fired, Rhea found her cheeks flooding with aggrieved warmth that he would no longer be her bodyguard, that she’d be assigned someone else when the only person she wanted guiding her through crowds and pushing away rowdy people was the man in front of her. She knew, when she first came back home from America she wanted her freedom that came with no bodyguards, and it was hard to believe that was only a month or so ago because now she only wanted a certain bodyguard around her at all times. Times fucking changed fast.

“Conflict of interest?” Rhea repeated disbelievingly, looking bewildered. “If anything, us being together gives you the same interests as just being my bodyguard.” She was pissed, not ready to accept the change Mr. Barrow so gracefully threw at them. With a shake of her head, Rhea said, “I’ll go talk to him right now.”

“Don’t, princess,” Calum sighed, dropping the nub of his cigarette and snuffing it out with his shoe, pushing himself off the wall and standing at his full towering height. “He was mindful enough to keep it to himself and not inform the king. And I know beheading is a thing of the past but I truly think your father would make an exception for me if he knew the truth.”

Rhea didn’t like what she was hearing. She took a step back, frowning, and crossed her arms over her chest as she shrugged challengingly. “So, what? You’re okay with Barrow assigning another detail to me?”

He shot her a look, hard and pointed. “Of course not—”

She cut off his growl. “Then why won’t you let me fight this? You know I’ve got the power to set things right.”

Calum clenched his jaw, getting frustrated in consequence to Rhea’s own rising temper. “If the King were to find out—”

Her anger was reaching its peak. “So fucking what?” Rhea exclaimed, glaring at him in impatient question as her voice echoed in the empty tunnels. “He’s not gonna bloody execute you for being with me, Calum. It won’t be a big deal.”

Calum didn’t get why she didn’t get it, clenching his hands into fists at his side. “Yes, it will,” he insisted through clenched teeth, gruff voice a near growl. “I fuckin’ doubt the King would approve of his only daughter fucking some bodyguard.”

His words silenced Rhea, and he saw the flash of hurt that swept across her face, making him immediately regret what he said. He saw her press her lips together, saw the fierceness in her glare melt away into disappointment, which was so much worse, as her throat worked to keep whatever emotions she was feeling at bay. Oh, shit, he fucked up. He knew he did right in that moment.

“So what is it, Calum?” she asked then, the anger in her voice being replaced by a tentative quiet, eyeing him with a kind of sadness in her blue eyes that made his heart hurt. “Are you afraid of what my father—whose own mother was nothing but a barmaid before she became queen—would think of you, or that what we have is nothing but some meaningless fucking that wasn’t worth defending?”

Calum’s chest deflated, though the tightness remained because this was going down the wrong road so fast, so uncontrollably, and he had no idea how to stop it. Not with how Rhea was looking at him, like it was too late for him to put on the brakes. Like they were accepting their fate to crash. And he felt like shit, felt his throat drying and stomach twisting painfully because he knew his words hurt her and gave her the impression that he didn’t care enough, but that wasn’t the fucking case. He was just—

Confused? Afraid? He didn’t fucking know. Everything happened so quick, he never gave himself a moment to think about it all, only how much he liked Rhea. How much he adored her smile and laugh and the conversations they had and her touch and just everything about her. So why was he making things so difficult?

When he didn’t answer, Rhea let out a final breath as she looked away from him, blinking as she willed back the sudden tears burning her eyes. She wouldn’t cry, not in front of him, despite the stinging pain taking over her body as she wondered if this was a bitter end to something beautiful before it could even properly start.

“Right, well,” she cleared her throat after sniffling, and Calum’s heart broke at the shake in her voice, knowing he was the cause of it. He wanted to reach out and hold her, kiss her and tell her he was sorry, but Rhea was already taking steps away from him, and he feared that he already put an end to things. Fucking fuck, he was an idiot. Her blue eyes briefly met his brown ones, and he saw the hurt and disappointment, a million times worse than seeing anger. “Enjoy your new duties, Calum.”

And then she left, leaving him feeling just as empty as these dark tunnels.

Calum threw his head back, eyes shutting as he felt the pain of the bricks against his cranium, uncaring because he deserved it, jaw clenching tight enough to crack his teeth. How ironically cruel was it that he broke the heart he was meant to protect?

*****

He was her bodyguard for over a month, they’d been together for a little over two weeks, separated for nearly three, and it shouldn’t feel as agonizing as it did. But it fucking did. And Rhea just wanted it to stop. This kind of pain shouldn’t accompany the loss of something that didn’t even last that long, yet Rhea felt as though her heart was being crushed and lungs were losing air. Because she knew that while she and Calum hadn’t been together long, it had been good. In that short amount of time, things had changed between them; she saw him smile more, they got to know each other more, and he so quickly made his way into her heart.

And now with him being given ground security duty, she only ever saw him if she ventured out to the palace gardens.

She wasn’t sure what excuse Mr. Barrow had given her parents about her change of security—her new detail was Ashton, who she liked enough because he was personable—but it seemed to quell them. Something about using Calum’s skills of surveillance and assuring them Ashton also excelled at what he did to promote that their daughter was safe in his company. Rhea wanted to call Mr. Barrow on his bullshit, berate him for interfering in her life and the man she wanted. But Calum hadn’t let her fight this either, so was it truly worth it?

Rhea thought it was. It was disheartening that Calum didn’t.

Keeping her gaze ahead, Rhea was fighting her willpower tooth and nail to keep herself from shifting her stare just a few inches to her left, where Calum stood, the closest they’ve been in weeks. But it was an all hands on deck situation, with the royal family in the less privileged part of their city, where there lived more opposers than supporters of the monarchy. But it seemed as though those loyal to the crown had shown up mostly, cheers and love being thrown all around towards Rhea and her family the moment they arrived.

The crown had donated much of its time and funds to open up a new shelter for those without homes, just a first step in the direction of making this side of town a bit better. There were more plans to open up schools and orphanages around as well, wanting to help get people off the streets as much as they could, and Rhea knew there were many that were grateful. But since this part of town wasn’t the most agreeable and the entire family was out to commemorate the opening of the shelter, almost the entirety of the royal security team was out with them, which meant Calum was there, too. Specifically, standing just five feet to her left.

He stood with that ever present hard look on his face, utterly unapproachable and intimidating with broad shoulders squared and hands in front of him, intently watching the crowd gathered for the family standing in front of the newly built shelter. Rhea’s father was saying something, thanking the people and the country for the support, talking about how important it was to help their fellow people. She couldn’t entirely focus, not with Calum right there.

She wondered if he missed her the way she missed him, or if she was just being ridiculous for the intense feelings that struck her out of nowhere. Honestly, how had she fallen for him so fast? That was a first, and of course her heart was broken before anything could fully come from it.

Rhea was pulled out of her thoughts when the crowd started clapping and her parents and brother shifted to face the building, and Rhea blinked and followed suit when she realized it was time for her father to cut the ribbon. She moved robotically, mirroring their movements as they stepped over to the ribbon as the photographers for TV, magazines and newspapers kept their cameras on them.

The next few moments were a blur. Her father cut the ribbon with the appointed director of the shelter while Rhea watched along with her mother and brother, clapping and painting on that charming princess smile to hide the fact that she wasn’t at all mentally present during this occasion as they posed for the pictures. People were cheering, photographs were being taken, and soon enough the family was supposed to move to go inside the building.

But then everything went to hell.

“Burn down with the monarchy!”

Rhea heard the words and she heard the shot that ran following them, the sound of thunder cracking without the rawness of a storm, freezing her heart and blood and shaking her to her very core. The sounds of people screaming in panic didn’t even register in Rhea’s mind following the ear-splitting bang because she was on the ground, the air knocking out of her lungs as the concrete came in contact with her back, her eyes squeezing shut in anxious terror as she felt the weight of something—someone—cover her body.

The pounding of her heart took over the sound of everyone yelling, panicking, throat dry in nerves and stomach twisting in nauseous fear. Rhea didn’t dare open her eyes, wasn’t ready to see any aftermath of the gunshot that sounded through the air, was paralyzed in fear of the thought of it hitting her parents or brother because while she was numb in dread, she knew she hadn’t been hit. But that didn’t mean her body wasn’t shaking over what just happened, that she wasn’t in a state of shock and terror and disbelief that someone just shot a gun at her and her family.

“You’re okay.” Rhea felt herself still at the sound of the familiar voice, body freezing and breath hitching at the low rasp that was whispering reassuringly in her ear over the commotion of their surroundings. “You’re alright, princess. Look at me, angel—you’re okay.”

Rhea’s breathing was heavy, her mind screaming at her not to open her eyes in fear of seeing someone hurt, but Calum’s voice was soothing, familiar, and encouraging. So she swallowed the thick lump in her throat, slowly blinked her eyes open and turned her head from the position of her cheek against the ground, her fearful blue eyes meeting a pair of warm, reassuring brown ones.

It made sense that her nose was intoxicated by his familiar scent as Calum’s body was covering hers, having been the one who protectively tackled her to the ground as soon as the shooter yelled out. He was hovering above her, their heavy breaths mingling, working to calm down both of their racing hearts, and Rhea felt a flood of relief calm her down at the sight of him—at the prospect of him protecting her. Their noses were touching, both frozen in the shock of events, and Rhea’s hands were moving at their own accord as her right one shakily reached up and cupped his cheek, as if she was in a state of disbelief that he was right there. His dark eyes were wide as he stared at her, relief that she was okay but a fiery worry that was raging within the irises. He saved her.

Her other hand went to grip his right bicep, only for him to flinch ever so slightly as her hand came in contact with the wet, warm fabric of his suit jacket. She frowned, eyes widening when her hand pulled back, only to be stained with a red that had her heart dropping to the pit of her stomach.

“Oh, my God,” Rhea panicked, gaze going from her shaking, red hand to Calum’s face, and she knew he could see the terror once again take over her features, could hear it in her unsteady, frightened voice. “Oh, God, you’re hurt. You—you got shot.”

He could feel the warm blood trickling down his skin under the material of his suit jacket and shirt, but it wasn’t bad. It stung, but it wasn’t head numbingly painful, which told him the injury wasn’t serious. “’S just a flesh wound, princess. Don’t wo—”

“Hood!” Mr. Barrow’s voice shouted over the still rowdy, alarmed crowd. “We need to get the family out of here! Move!”

Before either of them could comprehend what was happening, Calum was being pulled off of Rhea as she was being helped to her feet, and she felt her own panic set in as she was being pulled away from him at the hands of two security guards she didn’t give a second glance to. “No, wait!” she yelled, their hands on her elbows as she tried to pull from their grip, her unnerved gaze going back to Calum, who was being forced to go handle the crowd with the other guards. “No, he’s hurt—let me fucking go!”

She knew she was freaking out, knew her security team was doing what was in her best interest, but her hand was stained with Calum’s blood over a shot that would’ve hit her if it hadn’t been for him and she did not want to fucking leave him. Rhea vaguely remembered him saying it was just a flesh wound, but he was bleeding, and she wouldn’t settle until a doctor or two looked at him. Her panic from someone trying to hurt her and her family had melted when she distantly heard Barrow shouting at a man to hold still, assuming they caught the offender, and was replaced with incessant worry over Calum.

Her thrashing got her nowhere at the hands of the burly security guards, her heart pounding and throat beginning to grow raw from her screams of demands to being let go, which they dutifully ignored until they put her in the back of the car where the rest of her family was before the driver set off.

They drove away from the crowd, the car a tense silence interrupted only by Rhea’s heavy breathing, mind on Calum and if he was okay and how he protected her from a fucking bullet. She didn’t care that it was his job—the last thing she would ever ask for is anyone to jump in front of a gun for her, royalty be fucking damned.

“Rhea,” her mother gasped, drawing her absent attention towards her as she reached forward from where she sat, her hand anxiously grabbing Rhea’s hand. “Why—there’s blood—who’s is this? Are you hurt?”

She heard Roland curse at the sight of her red hand, her father’s expression crumbling into worry as her mother’s eyes began tearing, and Rhea slowly shook her head. “No,” she whispered, throat raw and chest heavy from what the fuck just happened. “No, it’s not—I’m not hurt. This—it’s Calum’s.” Her voice broke. Fuck, she knew he was probably okay, if they were sending him out to the crowd, if he was standing on his own two feet. But his blood was on her hands and they hadn’t spoken for nearly a month and things have gotten so fucking serious, so fucking fast. “I—He said it’s a flesh wound but he jumped in front of me and got hit.”

Rhea was numb. She desperately needed him to feel again.

*****

The second Rhea heard Calum was in the palace infirmary, she was running down the halls, dodging the maids and advisors and anyone else lingering as she ran like her damn life depended on it. Only an hour, maybe two, had passed since the incident in front of the shelter, but it could’ve lasted a lifetime in Rhea’s mind, desperate and impatient to see Calum, to check if he was okay. Her family most definitely noticed her jitters, her nerves and panic, but didn’t question her yet, not in the state she was in.

It was strange; she wasn’t shaken up about the fact that someone tried to shoot at her and family like she was over the fact that Calum actually did get shot, regardless if it was a flesh wound or whatever.

Part of being in the monarchy, it seemed.

She didn’t care that it was his job, or that he’s probably been shot at before since he was in the army, that this wasn’t new to him. But someone she cared about, despite their recent troubles, being hurt because of her? Rhea was shaken.

Entering the infirmary, she immediately caught sight of Calum sitting on the edge of the bed, wearing just his pants and shoes as the palace doctor, Dr. Heralds, finished wrapping Calum’s right bicep with a white bandage. Dr. Heralds was the one to see Rhea, since Calum’s bare back was to her, muscles rigid and shoulder square, as she tentatively approached them.

“Princess Rhea,” Dr. Heralds greeted, a hint of surprise in his tone at the sight of her. She saw Calum’s head turn slightly, looking at her over his left shoulder as she made her way over. “Come to see one of our heros of the day?”

Before Rhea could say anything, coming to stand by the foot of the bed, Calum spoke up in a modest yet raspy tone, “Irwin was the one who tackled the shooter, doc.”

“Yes, but you’re the one that took a bullet for our princess.” Dr. Heralds finished the wrapping. “Come back every week so I can check for infections, but these antibiotics I’ve given should prevent them already.” Calum nodded, eyeing the bottle of pills on the bedside, as Dr. Heralds gathered the materials. He glanced at Rhea, who still stood by the bed, lips pursed and gaze on Calum, before awkwardly saying, “I’ll leave you two to it.”

“Thank you, Dr. Heralds,” Calum sounded appreciatively.

“You’re welcome,” Dr. Heralds responded before offering the princess a smile. “Your Highness.”

Rhea looked at him to offer a small smile of her own before the doctor left the room, and she swallowed before slowly making her way to where he had stood in front of Calum. He sat, chest and arms in display, right bicep wrapped in a bandage as she eyed it warily, worriedly. Calum caught her stare, unable to detect what kind of tension was hovering in the room, as he said, “I told you, it’s just a graze. Nothin’ to worry about.”

Her gaze flickered to meet his, a dull ache and heaviness in her chest as her expression remained worried with a hint of disbelief. “You still got shot.” Rhea let out a short humorless laugh with a shake of her head. “How is that not something to worry about?”

Calum’s brown eyes were on hers, and Rhea suddenly detected a hint of sadness in them, the kind that made her breath hitch and heart hurt, especially when his lips pulled into a small, self-deprecating smile. “’M not someone worth bein’ worried over, princess. Not when I gave up on us before even giving us a shot because I was a coward.”

Rhea’s heart jumped to her throat, lips parting to take in a breath at his words as her eyebrows raised slightly in surprise. Her heart, like it usually did around Calum, was beginning to pick up its pace. “You took a bullet for me. That’s not something a coward would do,” she said, unsure of what else to say, too overwhelmed to think of much despite going weeks thinking of words to say to Calum, to convince him to give them a chance despite not being one to beg or ask for anything. But for him, she was willing, if it meant them being happy. Because she knew they would be, together. If only they hadn’t been stubborn.

Calum cracked a smile, boyish and handsome. “Had to prove I liked you some way, didn’t I?”

She couldn’t help the incredulous laugh that escaped her, feeling a bit of relief at the lighthearted humor he provided as she pulled her lower lip into her mouth and shook her head. “A bit fucking extreme, don’t you think?” she retorted with a raise of her eyebrows.

He laughed, breathy and throaty and Rhea adored the sight of his smile, warming her heart and melting away her anxieties and worries caused by today’s events. Without letting herself think too much, she stepped forward, placing herself in the spot between his legs as her hands came up to cup his cheeks. Calum’s smile faltered slightly, his scruff tickling her palms, brown eyes clashing with intense blue as she stared down at him.

“Don’t do that again,” she said, her voice quiet and pleading, taking in his familiar pine scent that she missed over the weeks. Calum could see the worry back in her eyes, eyebrows drawn together as her thumbs lightly stroked his cheeks. “You fucking scared me.”

“I’m sorry,” he murmured, their foreheads pressing together as she felt his uninjured left arm wrap around her waist. Their chests were tight with emotions, stemming from what happened in front of the shelter as well as the weeks they’ve been apart, wanting nothing more than to be together. “For everything. I like you too much, angel, to be a coward and get in my own way. ’M not letting that happen again.”

Rhea felt her heart lift giddily in relief, her muscles relaxing at his words that she’s been wanting to hear for weeks. But most of all, she was just glad that he was okay, that he was here in all his stupidly handsome, bodyguard glory. “Better not,” she smiled before slanting her lips over his in a kiss both of them had been desperate for.

Neither of them knew how long they stayed like that, lips pressed together in craved kisses as his arm held her close and her hands stayed on his face, tongues meeting leisurely and pleasurably as they savored one another. Their bodies relaxed in the other’s touch, relief flooding them and calming them down from the storm brewing within them the day things had gone to shit. But it was okay. They were good now, and they were glad for it.

“Pardon me for interrupting.”

Rhea instantly pulled away at the sound of her father’s voice, eyes widening as her hands dropped from Calum’s face and his arm let go of her, the princess taking a step back as she caught sight of her father. The king approached the bed, concealing the look of amusement he was feeling having caught the two, especially at the look of alarm that crossed over the very bodyguard’s face the king knew to be hard faced and stoic. This was quite a chance.

“I was just coming by to make sure one of our saviors was doing well,” the king continued casually, coming to stand next to Rhea as he shot her a knowing look with raised eyebrows. “But it seems as though my daughter has beaten me to it.”

Rhea looked at Calum, who for the life of him couldn’t wipe off the stunned expression from his face, both of them knowing that the king had most definitely caught them making out. Rhea knew Calum was internally panicking, knowing full well this was something he had been worried about from day one, and she desperately hoped none of his fears would come true in this moment. She herself wasn’t exactly sure what they should expect from her father, but she’d be lying if she wasn’t just the slightest bit worried.

“You took a bullet for my daughter, Mr. Hood,” her father spoke up, his expression and tone becoming serious as he briefly eyed Calum’s bandaged arm. “I am grateful and in your debt for that.”

Calum somehow managed to find his tongue—Rhea would be lying if she wasn’t kind of amused at the badass bodyguard’s alarm, but she kept that to herself. “I was just doing my job, your Majesty.”

“Yes, well, you gave Rhea quite a fright, and for the life of me I couldn’t figure out why she was in hysterics. That is, until I walked in here.” Rhea’s face flushed at her dad’s words, could see Calum’s gaze dropping as his skin probably lit itself on fire as well. Oh God, here it comes. Rhea wasn’t sure if she was going to like what her father was going to say. “My daughter cares a great deal for you, Mr. Hood. I thank you for choosing to serve the crown and protect my daughter. I will tell Mr. Barrow to reinstate you as Rhea’s personal detail—it’s fair, don’t you think?”

Rhea’s eyes widened, turning her head to look up at her dad, feeling the grin lift the corner of her lips as she asked, “Really? You don’t—it’s alright with you?”

“Of course,” the king chuckled, looking at her in confusion before grinning. “Why wouldn’t it be? Who you choose to be with is up to you, sweetheart. Mr. Hood is a good man whose judgement doesn’t seem to get clouded. As your bodyguard as well as being the man in your life, I think he’d be the perfect detail, don’t you?”

Rhea was about to burst in excitement and relief, face flushed with her chest light and airy and every bit of tension leaving her body. Honestly, she had doubted that her father was going to tell her she couldn’t be with Calum, but she knew it was something he had worried about. So hearing him actually say he was fine with it, that he supported it, brought a kind of relief Rhea didn’t know she needed. And when she looked at Calum, saw the look of disbelief and solace take over his face, she knew that his worries had been quelled.

So when her father left with a shake of Calum’s hand and the dark haired tattooed man offering a, “Thank you, your Majesty”, Rhea grinned as she stepped back in front of Calum, a kind of happiness taking over her that was reminiscent to what she’d felt during those sole two weeks they’d been together. She raised her eyebrows, giddy. “Guess no beheading for you, huh?”

Calum let out a deep, breathy scoff of a laugh as he shook his head at what just happened, running his fingers through his hair before reaching his arm out for her. “Shut up, princess,” he said, before silencing her laugh with another much needed kiss.

*****

“So, Princess Rhea.” She tried not to roll her eyes at the sound of the familiar voice, looking away from her friends and at Prince Dion of a neighboring country. “Am I correct to assume you’ve attended the ball by yourself?”

“No, you’re not,” she responded, a practiced sweet smile on her face despite the edge in her tone. Honestly, Rhea didn’t have time for Dion’s shit; she never liked him, always thought of him as arrogant and self centered in the ugly kind of way, and hated whenever they had balls at the palace and he attended them. “My boyfriend is on duty.”

Dion’s eyebrows furrowed. “Duty?” With a purse of her lips, Rhea pointed over to where Calum stood by one of the entryways of the ballroom, stoic and focused as usual, looking irrevocably handsome. Rhea couldn’t wait to have him in her bed. Dion looked back at Rhea after catching sight of Calum, a disapproving expression on his face. “The bodyguard? Really?” Rhea’s eyes narrowed at his affronted tone. “I just assumed that was you going through some sort of breakdown before you remembered that royals are your best bet.”

Rhea blinked as her friends let out irritated, annoyed protests, looking away as an incredulous, humored laugh escaped her. Honestly, whatever Dion had to say didn’t affect her in any way, but what he just said was so damn ridiculous that she was unsure if she’d even heard him right, if he was being genuinely serious. Some people were just so. . . Stupid. “No, it’s just me having the best sex of my life with the man I love,” she responded, sweet and true and unapologetic.

Her girl friends giggled and her guy friends let out cheering approvals, and Rhea just shrugged with a smile at Dion’s startled expression. She and Calum have been together for almost six months now, and she wasn’t going to let some privileged, stuck up prince of another country make it sound like what she had with Calum was any less than what she could have with a prince. Her and Calum? A hundred times better, without a doubt.

The night continued and Dion didn’t bother Rhea again, much to her relief, and she found herself enjoying the rest of the ball, dancing with friends and chattering with the guests that attended. It went on for hours, and Rhea wasn’t returning to her room until it was nearly three in the morning—though that was because after every guest left, Rhea and some of her friends went to the gardens to talk and hang out for a bit, her parents retired to go to sleep while her brother was out of the country.

“So what was goin’ on earlier?” Calum questioned as they walked down the empty halls of the palace, arms looped together as they went. “When your friends were shouting at that blonde guy?”

Rhea thought for a moment, wondering what he could be talking about, before remembering Dion and how she told him how better Calum was in one simple sentence. The thought of that brought a smile to her lips, a giggle bubbling past her as Calum glanced down at her with an amused expression. But before she could answer him, they walked past a room that no one ever really went into, the room just there as a kind of memorabilia rather than something to go into, though it was cleaned as often as the other rooms in the palace.

With knowledge of what was inside, Rhea bit her lip before changing their direction, pulling Calum along as she headed towards the door and pushed it open, pulling Calum inside before shutting it and turning on the lights. It was a grand room, with sleek floors and windows high up on the ceilings and deep red curtains, gold trimmings on the wall similar to the rest of the palace. But the center piece of the room was the chair up front on a small stage, tall and red and gold and meant for a king—a genuine, authentic throne that all of the kings before Rhea’s grandfather sat on. Now it was just a piece for viewing, a memorabilia for the times before. Rhea often came in here as a child, she and her brother taking turns to sit on the chair and pretend to be king and queen. She hadn’t been back in here in a while.

“What are we doin’ in here?” Calum questioned with a quirk of his brows, letting Rhea grab his hand and tug him forward, crossing the room as her emerald colored gown flowed around her as they went. The heels of her strappy pumps clicked against the floor, as they approached the stage, walking up the few steps.

Ignoring Calum’s question, Rhea stopped right in front of the chair before turning to face him, the heels giving her only a bit of height so she was in eyeline with his chin. He was just too tall. “My friends were laughing at Dion’s expense,” she told him, answering his question from before as her fingers undid the single button on his jacket before her hands slid up his torso and chest, loving the feel of his body under the material of the shirt. Rhea smiled, mischief lighting up her eyes, as she continued triumphantly, “Because he said some shit about you and I put him in his place.”

Calum wasn’t one who cared much for what other people thought, so he didn’t look too bothered that some prince of another country was saying something about him. It hardly mattered to him, but the look in Rhea’s eyes had him intrigued. “Yeah?” he mused, hand reaching up so his fingers could tuck back a lock of her black hair behind her ear, his head tilting ever so slightly as he admired her pretty face. “What’d he say?”

Rhea rolled her blue eyes. “Not important,” she dismissed before turning them until Calum felt the back of his legs against the grand chair. There was a coy smile on her face, like she had a plan of some sort, and Calum felt his heart pick up and nerves stand up in excitement, the mere look on her face enough to tighten his pants. She was smiling sweetly, innocently. “What’s important is that I assured him that my bodyguard boyfriend is better than some royal dick I’d be bored of in two seconds.”

At that, Calum let out a loud laugh, head thrown back as the pretty sound of his raspy, wide grinned laugh echoed throughout the grand, empty room. Rhea mirrored his smile, the sight of his warming her heart as those cute crinkles appeared at the corners of his eyes. “So,” Rhea continued through her own giggles as Calum’s laughter also began dying down, her hands on his chest before giving him a push. Calum quieted down as he collapsed in the chair, hands gripping the gold armrests as he peered up at her with raised eyebrows. She stood, smiling prettily with her hands behind her back, looking far too innocent in comparison to the look in her eyes. “We’re in here so I can thank you for keeping this princess completely satisfied.”

Calum’s throat worked. “Rhea—”

He was cut off, not by Rhea’s words, but by the sight of her dress falling right off her figure. Her hands, which had been behind her back, had expertly undone the zipper and soon the spaghetti straps fell and the green dress was nothing but a puddle around her feet, leaving her standing in nothing but a black, strappy and lace lingerie set that knocked every ounce of air right out of Calum’s lungs.

She heard his breath hitch in his throat, a smug smirk on her lips as she stepped out of the dress, the room cold yet his gaze burning her up, and easily straddled his lap. Calum leaned back against the plush, velvet chair, eyes burning with the kind of desire that was reserved only for her, jaw clenching and hands automatically going to Rhea’s hips as she dipped her head and connected her lips with his. Calum groaned into her mouth as Rhea slipped her tongue against his, reveling in the way his fingers dug into her skin and felt the cold metal of his rings against her as she kissed him.

Her hands went between them, deftly undoing his shirt just to be able to touch his warm skin before dropping to the buckle of his belt and she expertly undid it, their lips still locked as she slid the belt off and heard it clatter to the ground before she began undoing the button and zipper of his jeans. She kissed him for a few more moments, heated and eager, his taste committed to memory, before disconnecting their lips and expertly sliding off his lap, taking his pants and boxers off without little to no trouble.

Rhea was on her knees on the floor, right between his legs, leaning forward as her hands rested on his thighs so she could press another lingering kiss to his soft lips, feeling his left hand cup her cheek. “You don’t have t’do this, doll,” Calum murmured against her lips, letting out a breath at the feel of her nails dragging against the tops of his thighs.

“Yes, I do,” she breathed, not one to give him the chance of talking you out of this.

Not that he needed to be told twice. “Alright, then,” Calum rasped, his hand going from her cheek to the back of her head, fingers tangling through the strands as he let himself lean back against the seat. “’M all yours, princess.”

His hold through her was trying to guide Rhea right to where he wanted that pretty mouth of hers, but Calum loved to tease her, so why not return the favor? She heard him let out a sigh as she began pressing kisses to his thighs, much like he did to her, along with the added sensation of her nails dragging across his skin. Calum’s free hand remained on the armrest, gripping it tightly, his fingers in her hair tightening when her kisses finally found where he needed them to be.

Rhea started with using her tongue to trace a vein along his cock, feeling Calum tense under her touch with a soft, shaky exhale, only to let out a deep, sinful moan when Rhea finally took his cock into her mouth and gave a worshipping suck. His head is tilted back, pretty neck Rhea loved marking up in view, but his gaze was on her as he watched her take as much of him into her mouth as she could, one hand working what she couldn’t fit into her mouth while the other rolled his balls just the way she knew he liked.

Calum was in fucking heaven.

He could feel his heart racing, skin firing up at the sight of Rhea on her knees in front of him, soft hair tangled between his fingers as her mouth worked him over just how he liked. “Fuck,” his hoarse voice sounded, feeling her bob her head along his shaft, her mouth warm and inviting and brilliant. “So pretty with my cock in your mouth, angel. So fucking good to me.”

When Rhea hummed against him, the vibrations of the sound emitting another appreciative groan from Calum, he was sure he was done for in that moment. He watched her with parted lips and shaky breaths, her eyes flickering up to meet his clouded with lust and adoration, and it wasn’t long until he could feel his orgasm building, the woman in front of him capable of pulling him apart in a matter of moments.

And she did as Calum felt the familiar ache of needing to let go, grip on the armrest and her hair tightening even more so, and she didn’t relent. Not until he was spilling into her with a guttural groan of satisfaction and she was drinking him for all his worth. Rhea took everything he had to give, feeling him run down her throat as she savored his familiar taste, pulling herself away from him and looking up at him with smug eyes and a charming smile.

He looked so pretty against the chair, breathing heavy as his collarbone tattoos peaked out from underneath his shirt, necklaces glinting against the light of the room. Calum’s cheeks were flushed, lips parted, and he looked so handsome that Rhea got up and returned to straddling his lap, her lips finding his once more in a kiss he instantly returned. She felt his hands run up her sides, fingers dancing across her skin until he cupped her cheeks, kissing her with bruising intensity she felt her stomach excitedly churn for.

“Fuckin’ amazin’, angel, that’s what you are,” Calum growled against her lips, licking into her mouth and tasting himself on her.

Rhea giggled lightly against his lips, her clothed center grinding down on him and reveling in the groan he released. “Wasn’t even done yet,” she murmured, nipping at his lip. “Done already?”

She would be the death of him, he was sure. “Fuck, no.”

Calum recognized the kind of underwear she had on, seen her wear the type before, and as he kissed her his hands were to her hips and untied the bows on either side, pulling apart the flimsy material with ease and dropping it somewhere on the ground. He could feel how wet she was already, yet both let out accompanying moans of pleasure as he dragged a finger up her slit before slipping it into her entrance, Rhea’s breath stuttering when he added a second finger in.

He works her open for a few moments, thumb brushing against her clit ever so often, and before he can completely bring her to her orgasm, Rhea shifts as her hand reaches to grasp the base of his cock. Having had conversations before, both taking the precautionary measures needed, Rhea doesn’t waste a moment before aligning his tip with her entrance before sinking down on him.

Her action was followed by a deep moan emitting from Calum’s throat, a sound Rhea would never get tired of, while she her lips parted in a breathless gasp once he was buried to the hilt and her hands grasped his shoulders. She gave herself a moment to adjust, never needing anything more than just a moment, and with Calum’s hands on her hips, she began moving, setting a rhythm that worked perfectly for both of them.

Calum once again leaned his head back on the chair, gaze on Rhea as if she was an angel sent from fucking heaven, riding him and sending waves of pleasure burning throughout his body. “Take me so well, baby,” he couldn’t help but praise raspily, admiring the breathless moans escaping her and the flush of her skin, wondering how the fuck he got so lucky with someone as stunning as her. “Like a fuckin’ queen.”

A breathless smile quirked at Rhea’s lips, and as she kept up her rhythm, building up his orgasm once more even when he was still fresh from the one before, Calum reached his hand down and let his thumb find her clit. Rhea let out a sweet, savoring sound as he began rubbing it, other hand squeezing her hip, bringing her close to her own orgasm as the large, empty room was filled with the sounds of their heavy breaths and appreciative groans, no doubt accompanying the smell of sex that would fill the room.

It wasn’t long until Calum’s second orgasm was ripping through him, unsurprising with how fucking good Rhea felt around him, riding him, loving on him the way she was. And he felt explosive, heart pounding and grip on her tightening as he spilled inside her for the second time, and the sensation of him filling her up had Rhea’s own release following soon after.

She relaxed against him as Calum leaned back against the chair, her forehead against his neck as his arms remained around her, their breaths heavy and bodies satisfied, minds blissed as they slowly came down from their highs. Calum tilted his head back, staring up at the high ceilings of the room, lips quirking upwards as he felt Rhea press her own lovingly against his skin. His arms were looped around her as he breathed, “I really fuckin’ love you.”

It wasn’t the first time they said it to each other, but it always felt as exciting and thrilling and wonderful as it had when they first did—which was during a lazy morning in her bed when breakfast had been brought to her room and they were sharing stacks of pancakes. Nothing special was going on, until Calum was spilling the words and meaning them with all his heart, and Rhea nearly spilled the syrup on the bed in response before repeating them right back. Breakfast had long been forgotten after that.

She giggled airily, hand reaching up in between them to play with his necklace. “You’re only saying that ’cause I rode you,” she teased, earning a pinch from him. Rhea’s laughter intensified, nipping at his neck before returning, “I love you, too.”

And, God, she did, with every fiber of her being. Just like she was sure during the very first two weeks they were together—it felt good and right with Calum. Even now, six months later, and her feelings only intensified tenfold. He was her bodyguard, her boyfriend, and, quite honestly, she was sure he was the love of her fucking life.

Shifting her head, Rhea rested her cheek against the end of his shoulder so she could look up at his perfect profile; strong jaw, kissable cheeks and lips, lashes to be jealous of and a nose she adored. Feeling her gaze, Calum turned his head towards her, looking down at her with a raise of his brows and a smirk curling at his lips. “What?”

Rhea smiled. “Blame all the oxytocin and endorphins for this extremely fucking cheesy thing I’m about to say.” His eyebrows arched higher, curious, and Rhea’s face flushed as her finger twirled around one of his necklaces. But then she grinned, teasing yet honest, delivering her line filled with cheesiness and love that it was almost sickening, “You may not be a prince, but you’re definitely my king, baby.”

Calum’s heart warmed and fucking flew right out of his chest, because while her words were definitely as cheesy as she said, they were also delivered with a sincere honesty that made him fall in love with the gorgeous princess all over again. She was smiling sweetly, adoringly, and not for the first time did Calum thank every god—the entire damn universe, really—for letting him push aside his stupidity and let himself fall in love with this perfect fucking woman, who loved him whether or not he was a royal, and had no qualms in showing or expressing it to him or anyone else.

He kissed her, soft and sweet and slow, pouring every ounce of love he held into the kiss, into her. She may have found her king in him, but Calum was pretty sure she was born to be his queen.

tags: @crownedbyluke @angelbbycal @caelumhood @heavenlyhemminqs @roselukes @captain-what-is-going-on @slimthicccal @kinglycalum @fucking5sos @wrappedaroundcal @calumhampton @irwinkitten @cals-babylons @astroashtonio @softforcal @meetashthere @glitterprincelu @cosmixcalum @gigglyirwin @hoodcentral @old-zeppelin-shirt @romanticalumhood @biwriting @ohhmuke @ghostofch @valentinelrh @youngblood2019 @hotmessmichael @paqueretteash @5secondssofssummer @bitchinbabylon @ghstofcalum @dxmncalum @letsfxckindance @therainydays4 @bbteamlove @helplesshood @calistheloml @babyloncalm @inlovehoodx @calumsmermaid @calteahood @cliffordcntrl @soulmatecashton @babygirlcashton @mysteriouslycali @invisiblexcth @sublimehood @rosecoloredash @calumh-excess @egyptiangoldhood @5saucewho @softboycal @hearts-to-the-sky @biggestslutforcalum @empathycth @thebodaciouscth @poppedpins @nostalgia-luke @cathartichaoss @calistheloml @cal-pal-cuddles @calumthoodsyonce @akacalciumhood @visualm3nte @calumhoodless @2k17muke @asht0ns-world @5sos-stan4lyfe @codycasperky2 @complete-trash-101 @invisiblexcth @calumspeachy

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rosecolouredash · 5 years

Text

Duality ; Rival Hockey!Cashton

Pairing: Captain!Ashton x fem!OC x Captain!Calum

Summary: A tale of two captains and their childhood love.

Warnings: Ash being a grade A jerk™️ like serious big cocky flirt energy, Calum being a soft smoosh, me being an indecisive bitch.

Notes: When new tattoos fuel your creativity, you have to take advantage of it — which I did. Thanks to everyone who continuously loves on my lil hockey!au. I love YOU.

For as long as Liza Morales has known them, there was constant conflict between the two hockey captains — a war of emotions that diverged off of the ice they competed on. It was something deeper than the cheap shots to the boards and the harsh chirps they exchanged when meeting one another at the face-off circle. After all, their fight over athletic awards and hockey championship titles meant nothing compared to their fight over a childhood love.

Ashton Irwin, the captain of the Vipers, was alluring and cunning like the creature that represented his team. Whether it was during practice or an official game, he was always out for blood — a true believer in “no pain, no gain.” If he made an absurd play on the ice, as long as it benefited his team, he’d do it.

His school still fawned over him for it.

Calum Hood, on the other hand, was all dark stares and pouty lips as the leader of the neighbouring university hockey team — the Knights. He was naturally fair and encouraging on the ice but his brooding attitude deemed him as unapproachable and standoffish by most of the student body.

The former could flirt with an unsuspecting spectator at one of his games even after just coming out of a scuffle with a rival player — his knuckles bloodied and not a single hair out of place while the latter could strike complete and utter fear, without meaning to, in a teammate with a single narrowed glance.

They were two sides of the same coin.

Charming smiles and profound scowls.

Conspicuous behaviours and deep insecurity.

Bright eyes and dark curls and somehow, Liza found them vying for her love.

—

The three childhood friends lived next door to each other in the same cul-de-sac. Liza was closer in age to Calum so they shared many of the same classes growing up. Ashton, who was a couple of years older, took the advanced classes at their local school.

Even as children, the two boys bickered often.

Ashton reveled in antagonizing Calum, especially when it came to hockey. Ashton was a known prodigy at the sport and he was sure to remind Calum of that every chance that he could. The juvenile banter fueled the younger boy’s want to excel and surpass his friend and rival with pure finesse and raw skill in the rink.

There were days when, as the three would hang out together, that Ashton would feel particularly petty. He’d slink his arm around the black-haired beauty, drawing her body against his. He’d tut his tongue at Calum, complaining that he never got to hang out with Liza alone — that Calum took up too much of her precious time.

“You see each other in class all day but what about me?” Ashton would ask with a small pout, his tone at the borderline of joking and being dead serious.

As the coiffed brunet pulled her from the Hood’s front porch to his own, Liza missed the burning glare directed at the older boy and the wicked glint in Ashton’s eyes as he thanked Calum for his hospitality. At the time, the young teen still had the decency to stay tight-lipped; at the respect for his senior.

In the end, the dark-haired boy had the last laugh since Liza had decided to study medicine at Calum’s university rather than Ashton’s. What was worse, at least in the Viper captain’s eyes, was that she was also part of the enemy team — as the student physician — which meant she and Calum spent more time together, nowadays.

Sometimes, in intimate and close quarters.

—

Liza wasn’t blind to their advances. How Ashton’s flirty smiles always softened whenever they were directed at her. Or how at games at his university, he’d use his sharp tongue, that usually quipped at Calum and the Knights she stood behind, to compliment her with devilishly sweet words.

Calum too, made his feelings obvious through gentle conversations shared in the halls of their university — in-between seminars — and the way he seemed to keep the girl tucked by his side, his hand pressed at the small of her back, during crowded victory parties.

Liza’s mind often wandered to her two captain friends. There was no point in denying her attraction to both. They had so much history.

Childhood sleepovers where she was the last to fall asleep; her mind racing about the future. Even at a tender young age, she knew what she wanted in life and Ashton and Calum would listen to her rambles with expressions of complete endearment.

Pinky promises were made during those nights; claiming that they’d be together forever.

If only she knew of the war that would wage between the two boys over her affection.

Liza was so certain about many aspects of her life and for the first time: she was indecisive.

She doubted that she could ever choose between Ashton and Calum and so, she focused on what she could control. Liza put all of her energy in her studies and on being the Knights hockey team’s glorified healer — much to both the boys’ dismay.

They too, tried to busy themselves on honing their own skills as athletes. Frustrations caused by the matter were taken out on each other when they met on the ice.

Until one day, it wasn’t enough.

—

Liza received a text message from Calum, requesting her immediate presence at the university’s training rink. Fearing it was injury-related, she rushed over. Luckily, her classes were finished for the day.

She expected to find a crowd of rowdy Knights when in reality, Liza was only met by one — the captain and he was on the ice with the Snake King, himself.

Though they were older, they were still childish which was clear when Liza realized that the two boys thought that duking it out in a one-on-one hockey game could settle things.

If only wading through emotions was that simple.

They were clad in their respective uniforms — the letter “C” ever present on their chests.

Calum was calm; wrapped in black and silver. His every move was calculated.

From each glide of his skate to the flick of his wrist — hockey stick pointed at the Viper’s net. The dark-haired boy had the resolve but Ashton, clad in bright red, was simply the better athlete. The older captain was always two steps ahead and it made Calum furious.

It was easy to see that they wore their hearts on the sleeve of their hockey jerseys.

Liza watched, after making her way to the home team’s bench, as they etched into the ice. Their skates were heavy with every powerful stride they took on the frozen surface.

Since the rink was empty, safe for the three childhood friends, the boys’ conversation rang clear in Liza’s ears.

When he stole the puck, Ashton chirped, “you may as well give up now, Cal.”

As Calum skated after him, Ashton continued, “you’re a good player but that doesn’t mean you’d be a good boyfriend.”

Guiding his hockey stick, Calum tipped the puck out of Ashton’s possession. He sent the captain of the Vipers a mischievous grin as he pivoted away. “What do you know?”

They went back and forth for a while.

The frown on Liza’s face deepening with each quip they spat at each other. There was a time when she believed her boys could get along. She was sure they could be the best of friends — if only they tried.

The intensity of the match continued to grow as the boys physically crashed into one another. Liza was ready for one or the other to shatter on impact. It was one particular hit to the board — Calum to Ashton — that she was reminded how tough they could be. The older of the two kept his composure, even after being slammed hard. Without skipping a beat, Ashton continued to goad on the Knight who was beginning to lose his form on the ice.

It was with one final puck to Calum’s net that Ashton watched with a triumphant smirk as the captain of the Knights gripped at his hockey stick with such force that it snapped in half.

They had decided at the start: first to five would win their little match.

The score was 5-4, in favour of Ashton.

The Viper removed his helmet, his cocky demeanor now serious. “How many times will you have to lose to me, Calum?”

From where she stood at the bench, Liza could see the twitch of Calum’s upper lip — his expression darkening.

Calum fists were still clenched and his broken stick was long forgotten on the ice. He didn’t bother to reply and skated straight for the exit; never once sparing a glance towards Liza, as he passed the bench in shame.

Her heart broke to see Calum so dejected.

To Ashton’s surprise, Liza chased after the younger captain, almost slipping on the ice in doing so because of improper footwear.

She could hear Ashton’s desperate protests as they echoed from the rink but she didn’t stop.

—

Liza was halfway down the hall that led to the locker rooms when she caught up to Calum. She looked to the side to find his helmet lying on the cement floor, its visor cracked; most likely from being thrown away in frustration.

“Cal?”

He turned to face her, his grimace prominent. If Liza hadn’t grown up with the boy, she would have flinched at his expression.

Calum was still in his skates so he was a couple of inches taller than usual. He looked down at his childhood love.

She couldn’t read him. “What is it?”

Words were never his strong suit, whether he had to communicate or receive them. Knowing this, Liza reached out to embrace him — the only form of comfort that she could really offer at the moment. Almost immediately, he latched onto her frame. His face buried into the crook of her neck.

“I’ll—” he began.

His breath ghosted her skin.

“I’ll be better,” he finished, voice filled with determination.

Liza pulled back slightly, “but Calum, you’re great as you are.”

She’s seen his growth as a demure defenseman into a confident captain.

“You’ve worked so hard and you continue to work so hard—for yourself, for the team. It’s what I love about you.”

Love. Was it contradictory to offer such affection when she harboured the same feelings for his rival?

At that comment, his expression became contemplative. Calum’s gaze was suddenly fixated on her and only her. Her warm eyes. Her round cheeks. Her thin lips.

“Calum?”

His gloved hands moved to cup her face.

“I’m sorry.”

His apology was the last thing spoken before he dipped his head and Calum’s lips met hers. Though the contact was rushed, the action itself was gentle. A gratifying sigh escaped the two.

Aside from kisses to the cheek and her forehead exchanged with both, this was Liza’s first real kiss. Not even Ashton had made the move. Though he was self-assured that he’d know when the time was right.

But now he was too late.

The Viper captain watched as they broke apart — eyes wide. His pompous facade shattered in an instant as he made his way down the hall towards the two.

Glaring vengefully at Calum, he hissed out while giving the younger boy a shove. “How dare you?”

Ashton with his composure lost was a true force to be reckoned with. She recognized his state immediately and so Liza placed herself in-between the two boys. “Ash, please.”

With pleading eyes, she continued, “that’s enough.”

“So you’re just going to let him kiss you?” Ashton questioned in heartache. “Are you choosing him?”

Calum instinctively moved to her side, ready to defend her, if necessary. Liza shook her head at the older boy, “I haven’t chosen anybody.”

She then let out an exasperated sigh, “and it’s unfair of you to expect me to choose between you two.”

The boys would never intentionally force her to pick. They had too much respect and adoration for Liza to do so but maybe they had not thought their plan through.

Now visibly frustrated, Liza positioned herself so that she could address both captains at the same time, “or allow a stupid little hockey game to decide for me.”

The boys were left speechless and too surprised to stop her from walking away.

—

That was the first time they had directly confronted their odd circumstances of emotions. Liza had avoided the two boys since; even going as far as asking the head coach of the Knights if she could step down from her position as the team’s student physician for the time being. Coach Sveinson let her go, almost reluctantly but she reassured him that she just had some things to work through — he could only wish her the best.

It was sometime after that the three childhood friends would face their feelings, head on, once more.

Liza sat at the desk in her bedroom — notes and multi-coloured pens scattered across the wooden surface. She was home alone and deep into studying for exams when she noticed movement outside of her window. Curious, she looked through the glass to find Ashton and Calum having a conversation in front of her house.

When they reached the Morales’ front door, Ashton made the gesture to knock but Liza appeared at the entrance before he had the chance.

She let them in.

They stood in the foyer, in silence. Surprisingly, it was Calum who was the first to speak.

“We came to apologize,” he started, the sentiment written on his face. “What we did—it wasn’t fair to you and we’re sorry.”

Liza kept her stance with arms crossed. She didn’t know what to say so Ashton took the opportunity to continue.

“We really do love you, Liz—” her breath hitched at the pure honesty in Ashton’s voice. “—and love makes you do ridiculous things.”

She gave her boys a small smile. “I have to admit. What’s going on between us—it’s complicated, isn’t it?”

Even the two rival captains could agree on that.

“Yeah but, if it makes you want to avoid us than it’s not worth it.”

Calum let out a breath, “the boys miss you.”

Liza admitted she missed the Knights hockey team too.

“As do we.” Ashton gestured to himself and Calum. Her heart swelled at that since she most definitely missed her boys.

Liza Morales wasn’t sure what would happen now but it was a start and that’s all she really could hope for.

Tagged: @irwinkitten @calpops @rosecoloredash @lilbabycalum @gorgeouslygrace @rainingcalum @cashton-dolan @lockthisheartinchains @americanhorrorstudies @lovableah

BONUS: Her study notes were hard to recall at this point. Liza’s mind was in a blissful haze.

When they said they had a way of making it up to her she hadn’t expected this.

Ashton opened her bedroom window — the temperature in her room too high. When he looked back, he found Calum kneeling at the front of her bed — the tattoo of a dagger glaring back at him on his rival’s arm.

Ashton rejoined Liza on the mattress, placing himself behind her as she reached back to grip at his biceps. Her left hand caressed his snake tattoo.

“Hey Cal,” he started. Calum lifted his head from between her legs.

“First to get her to five, wins?”

Liza almost choked on air.

“You’re on.”

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staytruetonorthch · 4 years

Text

Perfect Ch. 1

A/N: I’m super anxious but here is my first official post. It’s just a single chapter around 4.5k. I plan on this being a pretty detailed, long-form story so if you like it, hang in there. I promise it’ll speed up once we get past exposition. I’m also highly aware of the switches from past/present tense, but I’m too tired to fix it and I’ve been so hesitant to post it’s either a now or never. I hope you guys enjoy <3

Football!Calum x Dancer!OC

-----

"Don't make me come over there!" It may have looked like I was yelling into the racks of clothing and shoes in my closet, and to be honest, I might as well be.

"You worry too much, Celley." I can hear the smile on my best friend, Brynn's face from my bed in the other room.

"I do, but only because you don't give a fuck, B and I know those boys don't," I said, counting each person out on my fingers. "That's four people in, and not a single fuck is being given. Someone's got to, or nothing would get done."

"You've got a point. The delivery was a little aggressive, but I'm moved nonetheless," Ash spoke up through Brynn's phone.

"I'm cleaning as we speak, Cel. It's gonna be fine," Luke chimed in from the boys' side of the phone.

"I can hear you lads playing FIFA," I said with an exasperated sigh.

We have a party planned at the boy's house tonight. A party I only had five hours to prepare, but that's the beauty of university, right? Spontaneity. All precautions to the wind. Everything that I never could be in high school and am still afraid to do today after a whole month of coursework. Don't ask me what I think might happen. Spontaneous combustion? Instantaneous death? A party that no one has fun at because I didn't have time to make an updated playlist or look up the actual rules for any drinking games?

"Brynn, are you ready to go?" I ask, peeking my head out of my closet to look at her sprawled out across my bed. I can hardly see her underneath the excessive number of decorative pillows and thick white down cover.

"I just got so comfortable. I was actually contemplating taking a nap."

"Please," I plead, batting my lashes over large dewy eyes. It’s a trick I picked up after so many lyrical dances over the years. Direct eye contact with these watery eyes always left judges speechless.

"Ugh… fine, but I'm getting wasted tonight and sleeping in this wonderful bed. Have your asses in gear by the time we get there," she said, hanging up on the boys and throwing pillows haphazardly across the floor. I cringed at every one as it landed in the thick white carpet. I don't bother telling her that I hadn't expected the night to end any other way. I pull myself back into the closet, eyeing my options once more. I could either go with a red gingham top, or I could tie my white vogue tee shirt in the front for a more casual look. Both require a bra sadly.

"The red is trying too hard," Brynn said, leaning against the doorframe. "You can't pull out picnic bitch chic at a party."

"I guess you're right." I pull the tee over my head careful to avoid touching the thin white fabric to my made-up face. Once I had a knot secured at the base of my rib cage, I fluffed my hair as if it could get any bigger and smoothed out my denim skirt. "Shoe's and I'm good. What about you?" I said eyeing her in the reflection of my full-length mirror. She wore a white hoodie underneath black overalls and black high-top converse. Splitting her hair in half, she tied it up into multicolored space buns on top of her head. Brynn is the kind of girl who could put on mascara and chapstick five minutes before she left, and she’s effortlessly beautiful. Her freckles do most of the work across her nose and cheeks, making her insanely adorable.

"Done. Let's hit the road, Jack," she said, walking towards the door to my studio flat. I quickly replace the pillows back on the bed and turned off all the lights before joining her. She grabbed the keys to my Jeep, knowing I’m too preoccupied to drive us.

"Are we stopping at the store on the way or coming back out?"

"Stopping on the way. We just need paper towels, red cups, more ping pong balls because Mikey lost three of the last four, and snacks. I also found this recipe for a cool looking pink drink, but the boys are all stocked on beer."

"I almost hate the fact that I can't use my fake here. I spent good money and almost got arrested for something that's legal here." I smile, scrolling through my checklist one more time to make sure I didn't forget anything.

"Well that's your fault for not doing a simple google search before you came to uni in Aus."

"I'm just saying, in America, I would be a plug." She turned wide out into the street, speeding past every car. She has a bit of a lead foot.

"That one's lost on me, love." I try to keep up with her American slang, but I wasn't able to watch a lot of American shows or anything growing up, so I'm a little behind to put it gently.

She said she has a southern accent, but I can't tell any difference. Everything she says just sounds brutal to me. Shit slams, anything can pop off apparently, and a lot of good things burn. At least that's what I gather when she uses 'fire' and 'flames' as adjectives.

I met Brynn at new student orientation. She seemed to be the only other one unamused by the school's welcoming parade meant to encourage school spirit, so as soon as our parents left, we left campus to explore the surrounding area locating the nearest shops and eating places. She was unlike any friend I had ever made swearing and speaking in riddles. I went to an all-girls catholic school filled to the brim with carbon copies of perfect people. We were second to none in both academics and clubs, which my parents loved, and Brynn was the absolute antithesis of that. She was a self- proclaimed 'thick' queen who was a pleasant deviance to the bird thin girls I was usually surrounded by. Her hair couldn't choose a color after multiple self- dye jobs. Even her mixed Mexican and Jamaican heritage were new to me. She said what she wanted and smiled wide at everything. I'm just happy she saw something in me to stick around even if it was the fact that I kidnapped her on the first day, keeping her from someone better.

I grab the frame of the car as she whips into the car park stopping short of a disgruntled gentleman in the crosswalk. She cursed loudly, causing my face to heat up. I contemplate jumping out of the car seeing as how the doors to the Jeep are safely kept in my garage. It’ll be a quick getaway, but I may need to make sure she makes it into a spot that isn't already occupied with this lovely gentlemen's car.

We soon found a spot and made quick work of the shopping, splitting the list I organized by section right down the middle. We’re back on the road in no time, heading closer to the edge of campus where the boys lived.

Ashton was actually the first person to befriend Brynn. They met at a summer fellowship program that put them in parts of Australia that don't have service for a hundred miles. They have that rugged woodsman thing in common. It kept them in touch through their final year in high school before she 'coincidentally' got accepted into the same university as him an entire ocean's length away. They were equally as smiley; she was just a little more… brash at times which is hard to believe. She didn't want to admit that she was nervous when he invited her to the house, he shared with two of his best mates, so I didn't mention anything when she asked me along. As the male version of Brynn, I immediately got on with Ashton. Mikey was chirpy and so sweet despite his punk persona. His other mate Luke was quiet only offering his very corny, yet intriguing commentary. He seems to be the closest thing I have to the friends I'm used to at home despite his lip ring. We formed a group of sorts meeting up in the library to study during the week and finding anything else but coursework to do on the weekends.

Our first kickback was just a barbeque featuring the five of us until Ash invited a few friends he made throughout the week with his open and boyish charm. Brynn had a few of her own, and Mikey wanted to join in on the fun, so he found a few friends to join. Luke and I were just fine meeting people as they were brought to us. Before we knew it, there was a group chat of about fifteen of us with more and more ideas of who to invite to the weekend shenanigans.

The boys had felt the pressure of expectation early this morning before Michael was a functioning human being. He shooed everyone off with a 'ya sure' before hanging up and going back to sleep. Brynn called me with our invite not only to attend the party but to host it at about 5:00 and of course, I freaked out. I plan everything, including some of the most successful events of my college career, if I do say so myself, so I took the praise for last week's party in stride. The difference is, I didn't spend my week planning out this event down to the second hand, so anything can happen. I wouldn't feel all the way like expelling my insides if it hadn't been confirmed that the first-year football players were going to be in attendance after today's match.

This confirmation came directly to Ash from another one of his mates from college, Calum Hood. Not only the best first year but the best player on the whole bloody team. He's also the hottest. The first time I saw him, he was leaving the classroom I was walking into. He opened the door just as I turned the handle, pushing me backward and almost to the floor.

"My fault, mate," he said distractedly, zipping his bag and flipping it over his shoulder. He was obviously sponsored by Nike dressed top to bottom in their slate grey gear, the school's emblem attached to every piece. The only thing I could tell wasn't sponsored was the gray beanie he had pulled down over his ears covering his hair. When he finally looked up a smirk graced his pink lips.

"You alright, doll?"

I couldn't tell if my reaction showed on my face because I didn't expect him to be so adorable with the brute force, he opened the door with. I just nodded my head taking deep breaths, trying to keep my face still. His tan skin was smooth and warm, complimenting the heat in his eyes that was slowly melting my resolve.

"Right. Well you're late, so you might want to…" he trailed off, nodding over his shoulder into the classroom.

"Right," I replied, hoping my hair was doing that cool thing it does when the wind pushes it back. It's either doing that, or the curls are fighting themselves on top of my head. It's so thick I can never really tell without a mirror, but let's be honest. My hair tells me what it wants to do, I rarely have any say in the matter. Instead of walking out of the door, he extended his arm, acting as a human door frame for me to walk under. When I turned my head to look again, he was gone.

I showed up a little earlier to class the next day to see if I could catch him again. Then I was late again and right on time before I decided to be outside the room before his class even ended. He was still nowhere to be found. I had practiced redeeming myself with a smile or maybe even words. Anything but how cringe-worthy I had been the first time, but to no avail. I didn't see him again until the boys dragged us to the first football game.

I don't mind sports at all. I grew up going to my older brother's rugby matches, so I'm not entirely clueless. Brynn, on the other hand, sat unmoving and quiet for the first time in our friendship. I think she concerned Ashton the most, as he asked her if she was ok every time the ball stopped moving.

"Someone tell me why I chose the guitar over football again," Luke said, pulling his hands down his face. "I was just as good as him, but now he's got fans and his face on posters."

"If that was true, I'm sure you'd be out there, dude," Mikey said, patting his shoulder. Michael wasn't interested in playing sports unless it was FIFA on the Xbox, but he was supportive nonetheless. Luke wrapped an arm around me, pulling me closer, so he could point out the center forward dribbling through two defenders.

"That's my best mate, or at least he was before he got club offers," he said, taking a swig of his beer.

"I'm surprised he even came to university. He could've just gone pro," Ash said before he cursed the refs loudly. The boy Luke had been pointing out was quick with powerful legs and defined arms. His jaw was clenched, making it sharp enough to cut through glass. Thick curly hair was pushed out of his face with a thin gauzy headband, a gold streak shone prominently in the surrounding darkness of his curls. As he made quick work of the remaining defender, there was only himself and the goalkeeper who looked menacing. Making a sharp left jab, he caused the goalie's weight to shift, giving him the perfect opportunity to use his nondominant foot for a goal.

I jumped out of the way as the boys leaped up, hugging each other, and spilling beer. The entire crowd erupted in shouts, holding on to one another as if the world depended on it.

"CALUM! CALUM! CALUM!" the entire stadium roared. He smirked up at the crowd with a small wave. I gasped, grabbing onto Brynn's arm in surprise.

"Calum?" I asked incredulously. Oh boy what did I miss out on being dumbstruck? Not only is he incredibly attractive, but he's a football king? My parents would love him, I would literally win my family if I could've snagged him, but I'm stupid. So incredibly stupid.

This is why tonight is so stressful and important. If I can not only get a football player, but the best football player here and he looks that good, I can get my parents off my back. My mum went to university solely to get a husband, which she found in my dad. She worked as a primary school teacher until he could support them at his father's law firm, and before you know it, he was running the place. They pop out a few kids, dad runs for Parliament, and the rest is unfortunately history. Mum loved teaching, but she loved being a mum more. She just raised the 'perfect children' she liked to say to anyone who would listen. My too perfect to be true brother Cleo and her wannabe prima ballerina Celeste, me. So tonight, I have to look perfect, and everything has to be perfect, but I don't have time to bustle around and host. This party has to go on autopilot, so I can set my focus on Calum.

"It could be worse, Celley," Brynn shrugged as she set the grocery bags down on the counter of the boys' home. She's right, it could be. I didn't expect it to be this clean actually, but there were no discarded clothes in sight, no pizza boxes on the counters, and no beer cans all over the place. At first glance the place looks fine, I just have to get the dishes out of the sink and out of sight, so they're not broken. A quick vacuum run and the place would work out just fine. I relaxed a little letting my shoulders pull forward.

"Thank you, Lukey," I said, starting the water in the sink. I knew he was the only person who really did any cleaning around here. As much as they were all messy, he couldn't live in filth for too long.

"No problem," he replied sitting on the island watching me work.

"Hey, I picked up my own stuff," Michael complained looking through the bags we brought in pulling out various things.

"You picked up the underwear that your mum wrote your name in and sat back down." Ash always laughs when he chastises, never letting you know if he’s serious or not.

"Exactly. I picked up MY stuff. You guys never listen to me." He shook his head, disapprovingly.

"Thank you too, Mikey, but start throwing those balls around this kitchen, and I will cut yours off as a replacement," I said sweetly. His eyes went wide as he set the ping pong balls back in the bag he got them out of.

"So, what's the vibe going to be tonight?" Brynn asked, putting chips in bowls and swatting the boys’ hands away.

"Well I accidentally invited like twenty people this morning."

"And those people invited people," Ash added.

"And word got around so looks like we've got ourselves a rager," Luke said, rubbing his hands together with a devilish grin. "You've got to admit, we're becoming the best party house for first years."

"Calm down. We're just the only first-years who don't live in dorms where you can't party," Ashton said, punching Luke in the arm. Not many groups of friends stay together long enough or get into the same university for their parents to go in thirds on the house. It worked out to be less expensive than staying in dorms.

"We've got the fucking football team coming, Ash, I think we're doing pretty well." I listened to their banter silently as I cleaned and set things exactly where I had imagined them. The first guest started to arrive a few hours later after I had time to add a few extra touches and have my first glass of the wine Brynn and I had hidden in the fridge. Neither of us is too keen on liquor or beer.

Boys are scattered around the living room, passing around joints and playing FIFA. Girls talk around them, mingling on the patio. There’s a very competitive game of beer pong going on in the dining room that somehow consists of all four corners of the table instead of teams on halves. I was content for the first few hours refilling bowls and dancing with friends I had made at past parties. I even had time to play wingman for Michael and a blue-haired girl in the corner, but soon I got anxious. It was reaching the first hour of the new day. I found myself sitting on the floor between Luke's long legs watching him play Super Smash and stealing hits of the joint he had held between his fingers. I gave up on being cute at about two, smoking enough for my eyes to be as red as Luke's, and my shoes had long been discarded in one of the boy's rooms. I didn't know, nor did I care who's it was.

There were just about the maximum amount of people possible crammed into this small house, and I didn't bother saying excuse me as I got up to make my way to the bathroom. At one point there were so many people taller than me I felt I was walking through a forest. I tried slipping past one particularly muscular redhead boy caging a giggling blonde against the wall. I did my best to slip behind him, but he decided it was the perfect time to do the douche stretch and flex hitting me with the red cup in his hand. The pink sticky drink that was delicious if I do say so myself covered me from neck to foot. My skin went hot, and I'm pretty sure the blonde's giggles were going to cause me to evaporate the liquid from my skin with embarrassment alone. Where was my snarky American friend when I needed her to tongue-lash someone?

"I'm sorry, love," the boy said, failing to conceal his laughter. I tried to avoid his face at all costs burning a hole through his chest with my eyes. The school's emblem was stitched into his slate grey shirt, but I couldn't quite remember where I had seen this exact shirt before. I didn't have time to worry about it with my shirt becoming more see-through by the second and my head spinning in circles.

"Just let me by please," I said. Redhead stepped closer to the girl who was giving me a snarky look over his shoulder. "Stay in your lane, honey," I said, trying out one of Brynn's colloquialisms on my own tongue. My glare was enough to split the crowd like the red sea as I stormed past. Just as I reached the bathroom and twisted the handle, it swung open forcefully, revealing a disheveled brunette with smeared makeup and haunting blue eyes.

"What the fuck happened to you?" she said with an amused smile playing at the corner of her lips.

"I could ask you the same thing," I said, pushing my hair out of my face. "Are you finished in there, so I can get cleaned up or?" She just smirked sauntering out with a wink. I shook my head, entering the bathroom and shutting the door behind me. I looked in the mirror at my hair that was slowly but surely frizzing out, and my shirt may as well have been a window into my soul for how see-through it was. My mascara was smudged in the corners of my eyes and my lips had lost their shine ages ago.

"Are you alright?" I was startled by a voice coming from the toilet.

"Oh my goodness, I didn't know anyone was in here," I said, covering my eyes. "I thought that girl was the only one and she left and--"

"It's fine. I'm not doing anything but looking at my phone." I peeked through the cracks of my fingers to see a boy was sat on the toilet cover searching diligently through his phone. I scanned him from head to toe. Black Vans, faded black skinny jeans, a cut-up muscle shirt that was barely attached at his hips, exposing his defined torso and arms. His warm skin, his dark hair with a single gold streak running up the front. I gulped, hoping I would take my own advice and just spontaneously combust.

"I'm gonna just go," I said quietly, reaching for the door behind me. I had forgotten how quick he was on the field because he scared me shitless when his hand captured my shoulder stopping me from leaving.

"No, I'll go," he said quickly. "I don't think I'm going to find what I'm looking for anyways. Unless… do you happen to know whose party this is?"

"It's my mate's house actually," I said, quirking an eyebrow in confusion. He should know. He invited himself and the whole team this morning.

"So you know all the lads? Michael, Ashton…"

"And Luke," I finished for him.

"I've been trying to reach Ashton and I just barely caught Mikey before he went down to the beach with some girl. He let me in, but there's so much going on I never made it past the kitchen. Do you know where Luke is?"

"Uh… couch." I pushed my hair out of my face taking a deep breath. I may as well just give up at this point. I'm in no position to charm anyone, and I can see the remnants of that girl's lip gloss on his lips. It was kind of cute on his pink pout, but I shook my head to clear the thought. He's not looking at me like that, and he probably never will.

I turned the faucet on testing the temp before grabbing a washcloth from the cupboard and washing the stickiness from my neck and exposed stomach. I expected him to leave, but he just sat back on the toilet cover, fiddling with his thumbs. He looked forlorn, his eyes longing.

"You ok?" I asked undoing the tie at the front of my shirt and attempting to wring it out to no avail. I glanced at the sad boy in the mirror and shrugged before pulling the wet material over my head and rinsing it out underneath the water. It's not like anything was left to the imagination with it on.

"Have you ever heard Luke say anything about me?" he asked quietly.

"Kinda," I tilted my head slightly as if it would help me think harder. "He did say you used to be his best mate when we went to one of your matches."

"He did?" he asked, perking up like a puppy.

"Yeah, watches every match. About loses his mind with pride every time you score, which you do quite often, good on you," I said, fixated with the faint pink water swirling around the drain. Maybe it wouldn't be a lost cause to put this in the wash. I'm so high and sleepy it probably won't make it tonight. "Well, I'm gonna go. If you work it up in you to go see Lu, tell him I've gone back to my flat. I'm sure he'd be thrilled to see you."

"I'll do that," he said, standing up assuredly. "I'm Calum, by the way."

"I gathered that," I said with a small grin. "I'm Celeste." When I opened the door, I didn't imagine how bad it might look with me leaving sans shirt, with the school's football star following close behind me. I decided to start caring in the morning when I had Brynn to complain to. I'm a person who knows how to quit while they're ahead. My perfect night shouldn't be able to get any worse, and I'm not going to give the universe the time to try.

#5sos fanfic #5sos #Calum Hood #calum hood fanfiction #Calum Hood fanfic #Luke Hemmings #michael clifford #Ashton Irwin #First fic #Perfect Ch. 1 #five seconds of summer #football!Calum

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be-ready-when-i-say-go · 1 year

Text

Backdoor Deal With the Devil: Part 4: Awakening

Calum meets Eve in a bar. And it would be a normal story. However, Eve’s more than he bargained for, and so, the story’s never so simple.

Black!OC.

CW: 18+ content (Smut); descriptions of Overall series contains: Christian religious themes, mentions of death, and smut (18+ only).

Word Count: 24K+

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3

Enjoy my masterlist

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Eve leans against the door of her storage unit. The keys are clipped to her belt loop for the moment, providing a soft clicking sound with her movement. She’d gotten the unit after she and Calum divorced. Well, she moved units after the divorce. The place she was using before was hiking the rates up every three months and she kept paying it because she could feasibly do so. It irked her nerves how much they were going up though. When she and Calum divorced, Eve packed up her belongings and moved units. Now this place has oddly become a second home for her. She can transport between realms easily out here, considering this place is on the outskirts of the city. She was far enough out that if a tuft of smoke here or there cropped up, it didn’t matter to the folks around. Eve does have other options and she knows this. But she prefers solitude.

Now, an out of the way storage unit which freezes in the night is Eve’s homebase. When she’s not with Calum or his kids, she’s here. It’s secure enough and Eve’s not really worried about her own safety too much. She did her work when everyone else was asleep and then managed to use a gym to shower as needed. When Calum called for her, asked her to come and meet his family, she thought it would be short term. Perhaps, he was calling just for some sort of resolve. She worried that maybe he’d gotten sick in addition to Kelsie’s death. But that guess had been wrong. So far, she’d been Earth side consistently for about five months in total. This feels like she’s pushing into something distinctly not short term. She was now needing to consider if she should consider other alternative options to her belongings. Eve didn’t feel like investing in a place to rent. By the time she went through the whole ordeal, she might need to give it all up. She wasn’t going to assume she could move in with Calum. Nor was she going to be the one to ask either.

And right as she slid down the door on her unit, preparing for her nightly shift in Hell, mostly patrols and checking in on happenings since her last descent, her phone buzzed. What are you doing tonight?

It’s from Calum and Eve tries to bite back her grin as her fingers work over the keyboard. Normal duties that I know of. Did something happen?

She waits, fingers brushing over her keys. The thread sits idle for a beat longer and then Calum’s name pops up on her screen. Eve answers the call without hesitation. “Nothing happened,” he laughs. “Why do you think something’s always happened?”

“I worry,” Eve returns. It’s a simple answer and it’s the truth. Eve does worry. She worries it’s one of the kids. She worries it’s Calum. She worries that even though she keeps thinking her time with Calum will be brief yet again and so far it was proving otherwise she would be right to worry in the end. Why stop worrying now?

“Well, let me be the first to tell you, there’s no reason to worry. I ask because I’d like to take you out tonight on a date. I know it’s very last minute. But can Hell wait one night?”

“My job comes with no guarantees,” Eve laughs, resting her head into the cool metal she’s leaning into. “But I can meet you at your place in, say, an hour. What are the festivities?”

“I can pick you up,” Calum offers.

Eve snorts. “Calum, all my stuff is in a storage unit almost an hour of the city driving.”

“A storage unit?” The disbelief that paints Calum’s voice is thick. “Why so far?”

“Discretion. Can’t travel between realms with smoke all the time at the place in the middle of a shopping center, can I?” Peace is what Eve doesn’t say. She had a place she could use. It was in the city. Less discretion for sure, but mostly notably it was severely less peaceful.

“You had an apartment before though.”

“Those are expensive. I’ve done a lot of odd jobs in my time and have more money than I know what to do with, but it doesn’t mean I have to spend it unnecessarily.”

“Where do you shower? Brush your teeth? Charge your phone?”

“Lately, your place.” Calum snorts at the tease and Eve continues on, “When I’m not with you, there’s a gym up the road here.”

“Is-is that working for you? You’re safe right?”

Eve takes in buzzing lights and the echoing hallways of the building around her. She only has clothes, some photos, and her lockbox stashed away. Most of her long standing money from her previous jobs and decades were spread across three different banking branches under various aliases. She could keep turning the assets over to herself every few decades as the granddaughter or daughter of whomever supposedly oversaw the estate previously. It wasn’t hard, though it did take some creativity and perfect timing.

The only time Eve felt unsafe was when the guy who was escorting her to the unit on the first day she showed up kept checking out her tits. But a perfectly placed foot to trip him up and a bloody nose as Eve hissed above him easily rectified the behavior. He hides in the office when Eve comes in to pay for her unit in cash.

“I’m safe,” Eve finally answers. “So, a date? What is the occasion?”

“Nothing major. There’s a sushi place about twenty minutes from me.”

“Sushi sounds nice.”

“There’s an ice-cream shop next door too. If you want to go there as well. Feel free to pack a bag of what you need and then you can get ready here instead of going to the gym to use their bathroom.”

Eve turns, back fully resting against the metal door. “Are you flirting with me, sir?”

“Oh, love, I have been flirting with you for ages now. What took you so long to notice?” A gag comes from the background and Eve laughs at the sound of Māra’s voice begging to be spared. “Grow up!” Calum giggles, clearly speaking to Māra. “I don’t gag when you talk boys.”

“I’d never stoop so low as to actually flirt with a guy in front of my own father,” Māra huffs. “That is where we differ.”

“And which one of us decided to snuggle up next to dear old Dad while he was on the phone, hmm?”

“What?” Māra questions. “I needed snuggles.”

“Everything alright?” Calum’s voice dips. Eve hears how much sincerity is weaved into each word. It's a concern that drives the pause in her and Calum’s conservation so Māra can be tended to and Eve stays silent. She does almost want to offer that Calum can call her back if he needs and that they can raincheck the date.

“Stupid stuff at school. We can talk later too.”

“Eve, let me call you back. Or we can talk when you show up,” Calum adds the last part and it’s soft. Perhaps, he’s worried Eve will default to stepping aside.

“How much do you want that dinner date?” Eve asks.

“How much do you want it?” Calum returns. He’d always want time with her. But Eve knows juggling his responsibilities as a parent were now more pressing than anything else.

“I can come over. Let Māra know I said hi and that if she needs me, I’m good at avoiding cops.”

Calum laughs. “No, you’re good at egging them on. But I’ll see you when you get here. I think the boys are downstairs. They can let you in.”

“See you then,” Eve whispers and then gives her goodbyes. She slides the door back up, grabbing her gym bag, which is usually always ready to go. Eve digs out a spare pair of jeans and another top--something nicer than her normal. A black bustier top with mesh sleeves. Once she’s satisfied with the clothes for the outing, she double checks for all her necessities. It’s only been a few minutes but as she zips up the bag, she wonders if their outing will make press circuits.

It’ll have been thirty years since the last time they were spotted out in public by paparazzi. Maybe given the years things would’ve died down for the band. They hadn’t toured in a while from what Eve had gathered--it’d been at least ten years since the last one. Instead they were all focusing on their families. Their last album had only been released two years ago. But their public presence seems to have died down. A lot of them had garnered a lot of respect in producing--Michael and Calum diving in a lot on that front. Ashton worked to collaborate with a lot of artists. Luke worked on some solo music between band albums. It seemed that the band had its front, but all the members still had space to be something greater than the summation too.

Eve can’t shake the feeling in the pit of her stomach. If someone does spot them, is this going to open a bigger can of worms? Is this going to undo them?

But there’s something under the worry. As Eve slings the bag over her shoulder and steps back out of her unit, she’s happy. Even if the storm of comments comes their way, at least she has Calum. Eve slides the door to her unit close and locks it back up before walking towards the back doors. She sets off towards the fields and when she gets about twenty yards out, she lets herself go, feels the pull at her bones and she doesn’t fight it until she’s at the bottom of the street to Calum’s house.

It’s up on a hill and if it weren’t for all Eve’s years of training and her incessant desire to protect herself by any means necessary, she is sure the hill would kill her. It flattens out nicely near the top, but the incline is a gradual pain. It only really hits how high up his place is once the top is reached. There’s a burn in Eve’s thighs that she’s used to as she raps on the front door. “Coming!” she catches on the other side of the door.

The front door opens to reveal Kiri. “Hey, Eve,” he grins, stepping aside to let her in.

“Hi, Kiri. How are you? Calculus still giving you trouble?”

Kiri snorts. “Semester ends in two weeks and I for one cannot wait to burn the textbook. But it’s going. How are you?”

“Good,” Eve nods. “I can supply kindling if needed,” she teases.

“Could we try banishing it?”

“We can try,” Eve laughs. Kiri offers her a drink but Eve politely declines. “I think Dad’s in the guestroom. Or his room now it seems.”

“Hi Eve!” Cailean pokes his head out from the dining area, hand raising in a wave.

“Hi Cailean. How are you?” Eve shuffles a little deeper into the house, approaching Cailean from behind. She’s careful not to startle him, thankful her keys are still clicking on her belt loop.

“Crushing it,” he grins. “You? Oh, a spendin’ the night bag? What has dear old Dad convinced you of this time?”

It only takes a quirk of her brow and a blank bored expression for Cailean to apologize. As well as he’d been raised, he always had the jokester streak in him. It had earned him quite a few of Eve’s famous stares. Where his father and his mother both had a pursed lip and stare, Eve’s whole face fell. It caused the rise of her brow to stand out more and pushed her lips into a pout. Cailean didn’t really want to see what would be earned after such a warning if he didn’t backtrack. So the apologies always come immediately.

“If I didn’t know any better I’d say you were gunning for trouble,” Eve returns, peering down at the human anatomy book in front of Cailean.

“Would you believe me if I said you're one of the first people I could make those jokes too without fear of immediate death?” Cailean laughs, capping his highlighter.

“I mean, I could be tempted.”

He shakes his head with a grin. “I don’t think I need to tempt that fate. But I’m just--I’m glad to see Dad getting back out there. It’s certainly been a strange time since Mom died so suddenly. I think mostly I just didn’t want him to get so focused on us he forgot about himself.”

Eve doesn’t want to state the obvious. Calum had reached out to her with only a few months shy of the year mark. There hadn’t been enough time for Calum to lose himself. But she imagines given just how involved Calum is with his kids the fear Cailean has is that the involvement becomes suffocation.

“I’ll do my best to keep him out of you all’s hair,” Eve grins, resting a bit into the wall behind her. It’s the wall that separates part of the kitchen from the dining area. Behind her head and to the left she knows there’s a photo of Kelsie and the kids from a Christmas party just three years prior. Eve wonders briefly if they still have the sweaters from the photo.

“You’re doing a perfect job and letting him still be our dad and also keeping him from driving us crazy,” Cailean snorts.

“You still haven’t said if anything is on your birthday list,” Eve counters. Cailean’s birthday would be approaching two weeks and some change after Christmas. Calum already had the gift Cailean had been eying already for Christmas but was still stumped about his birthday. She’d been asked by Calum to see if she could get anything more specific about him. But she is curious too. Now that her presence was more normal, she didn’t want to just be seen as Calum’s new old partner. Eve respects the family unit that comes with Calum. She respects who the children are as individuals too. “I mean, you’re driving now. You can’t tell me you don’t want anything.”

Cailean shakes his head. “Still a bit shy of a legal first tattoo so, guess we’ll have to wait.”

“Tattoo is easy. Can do that in my sleep. In the meantime, no shiny new rims? Cool leather jacket?” Cailean’s car was by no means fancy. It was a 10 year old Honda. Still new enough that it only had about 89,000 miles on it when it was bought but still old enough that it didn’t cost Calum an arm and a leg to get it.

“If I’m honest, Eve, I don’t really care for that stuff. Just want time with my family, I guess.”

“Kelsie and Calum have raised you too well.” Eve pushes off the wall, one hand gently brushing over Cailean’s shoulder. “Pick a restaurant. Wherever you want. My treat.”

“Oh, Eve, I can’t,” he starts, scooting now so he’s facing her from the seated position he’s in in the chair. The head shake no is insistent.

“None of that. Pick a restaurant. Wherever you want to go. It’s my treat. My birthday gift to you.”

“Does this mean you’ll come?” Cailean asks.

Eve tilts her head a little, trying to assess what the gaze means, if she actually heard something like hope in the question. “Do you want me to join?”

“I thought you were the Devil, not a vampire who needed permission all the time. Yes, I’d like you to come.”

It’s a jab Eve should’ve seen coming, but still Cailean’s quip makes her snort, choking just a little on the laugh. “I never want to assume,” she returns, catching her breath. “But by god, you do sound like Calum’s twin.”

“Apparently, Kelsie and I have raised them too well,” Calum states. He stands right at the edge of the living room that feeds into the dining area. He folds his arms across his chest and Eve makes a point not to look below his eyes. Undoubtedly, Calum’s wearing a white t-shirt and jeans. Even if he wore a shirt over the undershirt or just wore the undershirt, it would pull tight across his chest and the last thing Eve needed was the sight of Calum’s chest and biceps burned into her retinas in front of his children. He hadn’t let the workouts go. Though it is clear where age made him soft ever so slightly around his stomach, the gym kept his chest and arms in great shape.

“Consider it a compliment,” Eve returns, crossing the room to stand in front of Calum.

Calum takes Eve in for a moment. Her usual uniform of jeans and t-shirt were replaced with leggings and a looser blouse. It’s clear she was ready to head back down when he called. But he tries not to stare too long at the V in the shirt, the way her cleavage presses up into the cotton of the shirt. “Consider it taken as one. Did you still need to get ready before we head out? Or have my sons cornered you for good?”

Eves shakes her head with a grin. “I am never cornered. I’ll be ready in fifteen.” The kiss is soft that they share, chaste in how lightly their lips touch. Eve slips down the hallway to the guestroom, knocking before she peers her head inside. Where she might’ve anticipated Māra to still be stretched across the bed, the room is empty.

Just as Eve’s stepping out from the quick shower, she can hear the click and drag of hangers from the closet. Calum, she assumes. It’s not much effort to get into the jeans but she does crack open the bathroom door, head peering out to the sight of Calum slipping his arms into a navy blue button up. “Cal, can you help me with the zipper?”

He freezes for a moment. Not because he’s upset. But because Eve had not called him anything other than his full name since she returned. “What did you call me?” He grins, turning to face her.

“If you’re not going to behave, I will leave.”

He crosses the distance to her, slipping his last arm through the sleeve. “It’s just good to hear from you. Missed it.”

It’s only a whisper from Calum’s lips. But Eve hears it. Calum takes her hips into his hands and turns her around. Eve goes, one hand still holding the bustier to her body. “I hope you haven’t missed much,” Eve returns. The mirror above the sink reflects all of her face and just part of Calum’s profile. But she watches him in the mirror. The zipper catches and drags upwards, securing the top to her body.

“It’s taken me slowing down each day to really know what I’ve missed. You’re among the list of things and people.”

“Oh, I’m no people,” Eve laughs.

“But you’ve still been missed.” Calum kisses her temple, hands slipping over her bare shoulders and then around her neck. His arms follow the extended path of her chest and shoulder. Eve falls back into his chest. He traces the line of her face, down to her jaw, in kisses.

“My tits too,” she snorts, referring to his earlier gaze.

“You wore the V-neck,” Calum laughs. “You expect me not to look at your tits when they’re begging for attention.”

“They are most certainly not begging for anything!”

“I certainly beg to differ.” Calum presses another kiss to her cheek before pulling himself up to his full height. Calum guides Eve deeper into the bathroom, and turns so they’re both facing the mirror. “Anything else you need help with?”

“No, I think I’m okay. Just need to get shoes on.”

“Avoiding lipstick and mascara is probably a good idea.” The words come from deep in Calum’s chest and Eve watches his gaze drop from the mirror to her in front of him.

“There you go again, misbehaving,” Eve reprimands, but pushes her hips back just a little into Calum’s crotch. It doesn’t shock her when she realizes he’s half hard. “But I’ve decided not to invest in too much makeup, in all honesty. Need the bags under my eyes to keep up with you.”

Calum snorts, fingers teasing at the exposed sides underneath Eve’s top. She pushes deeper into the arch. Not quite bent over the counter, but holding her weight up by her arms into it. “Yeah, what are you doing with an old fart like me anyway?”

“What can I say? I like them older.”

Calum finds the front of Eve’s chest, palms flat against the press of the bustier against her breasts and hauls her up. Her back flush into his chest. She drops her head to the side a little and Calum leans in, lips brushing ever so gently at the skin of her jaw. “Yeah, I’m the one robbing the cradle here. But you’re the one misbehaving now,” he whispers.

Eve shrugs, tracing the veins in Calum’s hands with the tips of her nails. “Sue me.”

Calum’s laughter is soft, an exhale mostly from his nose. His lips paint another kiss to her skin. “While you may not need food to survive, I, for one, am hungry. But I won’t forget your behavior, kitten.”

“Let’s go before you starve,” Eve returns, turning to kiss Calum’s cheek too. She does specifically let the new nickname which has never come up between them before go. Maybe it would grow on her. Maybe it’s an honest mistake and Eve’s not about to make it more awkward. “First, do you want help with that?” she questions, hand slipping up between their bodies to cup Calum’s erection.

“No, because you help me with that we will never make it to dinner.”

Eve concedes, but not without a slight squeeze and then peels herself out of Claum’s hold. Calum shakes his head at the taunt, but flicks off the light. Originally thinking of buttoning the shirt up, he opts to leave it fully undone but tucks his undershirt into the tops of his jeans. Eve follows behind Calum back to the front of the house. One of his hands is wrapped around hers, the other grabs the keys from the rack near the front door.

“Oh, that’s cute!” The words are accompanied by a soft tap on Eve’s arm.

Eve turns to Māra’s compliment and smiles. “Thank you.”

“Where’d you get it?”

“Oh, it’s been years since I bought it, I think. But I think there’s a place in the mall that has something similar. I noticed it when I went to get new boots.”

“Dad would have a heart attack.”

“You’re fourteen. Of course I would have a heart attack,” Calum interjects.

“My birthday is in three months. You let me buy the platforms!”

“Mar, those were shoes. The soles are as thick as my waist. Shoes and tops are different battles.” Calum’s stare is pointed. It’s as if he’s begging Māra to disagree with him.

Māra sighs, passing a gaze to Eve. “See what I mean.”

Eve’s not sure if she should side with Calum or try to win with Māra. Because while the top isn’t at all scandalous, it does expose all of Eve’s shoulders, the upper part of her back, and it has cut-out on the sides. It covers the important bites, but it might be a bit much for someone young. “There’s also other cute stuff at the store,” Eve settles on. “The sort of things that won’t give your dad a heart attack. Do you like blazers? They had a cute red one, studded collar, sleeveless. Full length,” Eve tacks on, looking up to Calum. He squeezes her hands in thanks.

“This weekend, we could go? Only if you want of course.” Eve offers to Māra.

Māra looks over to Calum. “Can I?”

“If I’m not there, I need pictures. We are not doing any surprises,” he counters.

“I mean at that point, just come,” Māra laughs.

“Well, I,” Calum starts. It would be one of the first times that Māra had initiated more than a conversation with Eve. It would be a full on excursion. It would give them time to bond. He doesn’t want to intrude on that.

Eve squeezes his hand, effectively cutting him off. “If Kiri or Cailean have to call me because they had to give you CPR, I don’t think I could take it. Just come.”

Calum nods. “Saturday? Your teeth cleaning is on Friday, tomorrow” he states to Māra.

“You’re the one driving me,” Māra laughs.

Calum sighs. “No, I mean I’m not sure if going tomorrow is a good idea because you get grumpy after the dentist.” Māra hadn’t loved the dentist since she had to get a filling back in elementary. She complained about the ache in her jaw for a week and has since made it a personal mission to never have another cavity again. If Māra’s given anything other than a nearly perfect visit, she pouts. Even still. Calum had to learn all the tricks to keep her happy--that do not include offering her anything sugar related.

Māra bats her eyelashes up at Calum. “Shopping could make me less grumpy. I think it would lift my spirits, actually. Clean bill of health for my teeth and then a little treat.”

Eve snorts. “Tomorrow is okay with me--potential for grumpiness and all.”

“Tomorrow,” he agrees, kissing Māra’s forehead. “Don’t kill your brothers while I’m gone, okay?”

“No promises,” Māra giggles.

“Remember where we keep the lye?” Calum teases. Māra nods with a thumbs up. Calum calls out to Kiri and Cailean over his shoulder to keep an eye out. It’s only outside in the slight breeze of the air that Calum turns to Eve. “Should we get a jacket for you?”

“I’m okay,” Eve laughs, but Calum’s shrugging out of his leather jacket and draping it over her shoulders. “Now you’re going to be cold.”

“Nurse me back to health when I get sick, yeah?”

“Happily,” Eve grins, taking his hand again.

“I’m sorry about calling you kitten earlier. It’s-it's a habit, I guess.” A habit he built with Kelsie. Not one he had with Eve. He’d noticed the mistake as soon as he let the pet name slip. But Eve hadn’t reacted poorly. Calum just needs to clear the air.

Eve accepts the apology, the words dying on her throat that he doesn’t have to apologize. Calum would apologize. He always would. Perhaps sometimes the biggest grace Eve could give Calum was accepting the apology even if she never needed it. Calum did. That’s the thing that matters.

The drive to the restaurant is relatively short, light conversation about Calum’s day at work. Calum makes doubly sure that Eve’s okay with the storage unit system she currently has. Though he’s more than sure she is capable of looking out for herself, he doesn’t love the idea that she’s not at least inside the city, close to a densely populated area. Eve manages to convince Calum to let things remain as they are for the moment, but the conversation naturally would be revisited.

They get seated relatively quickly in the restaurant and Calum ensures to pull out Eve’s seat and she settles, shrugging out of the jacket draped over her shoulders. Out of habit, she glances down at the menu, though Eve’s already sure what she would order to appease the setting. As the waters are filled, Calum reaches over to take Eve’s hand. “You sure you’re okay with me crashing the shopping date on tomorrow?” Calum asks, thumb stroking over the top of her hand.

Eve nods. “You just want to keep your little girl safe and I think it would be good for me to know the limits. For clothing. Clearly I’m not a good judge.”

“I try to give her some slack, you know. Soon she’ll be buying her own clothes without Dad’s approval and I just want her to be responsible.”

“Yeah, eventually, she’ll be sneaking bags inside of bags,” Eve teases.

“Do not give her any ideas, please.” Calum squeezes at her hand. “Thank you. For understanding. You did great, you know?”

“What-what do you mean?”

“With the blazer. I must admit I was prepared to be outnumbered. But when you offered an alternative I was pleasantly surprised.”

“I can’t overstep your rules, Calum.”

“I know it matters to you that you aren’t overstepping. But still—I really appreciate you offering an alternative. You saw how much it mattered to Māra and you saw what mattered to me. Your negotiation skills are quite sharp.”

Eve tries to keep the blush at bag. Her reaction only felt right. It only felt like the right thing to do. She didn’t think it was that spectacular. But her cheeks warm at the tenderness in Calum’s gaze. “Thank you.”

“No, thank you.”

The conversation lulls just a little, but it feels normal. There’s no need to force conversation. Eve takes in the slight deflation of Calum’s cheeks. Where in his youth his cheeks had been full and rosy, as he’s aged they’ve fallen just a little. It’s nothing extremely noticeable in a fast glance. But Eve knows Calum who is thirty years younger. She catches the way age has graced his features.

“You’re staring,” Calum teases, looking up to her from beneath his lashes.

“You’re handsome,” Eve returns with ease.

The sentiment shouldn’t make Calum blush, but it does. The heat spread across his face. He’s sure his cheeks, if one could get close enough, are tinted just a little with the rush. Not red, but possibly a really faint pink and Calum laughs. “You sure do know how to make a man blush.”

“I know a lot of other things too.”

“Smooth,” Calum returns. “Criminal, because we are in public, and I was told I needed to behave.”

“I didn’t set any rules and expectations for myself. It’s a shame, really. Don’t you think?”

The taunting is cut short by their need to order. Calum orders for the both of them. It’s as the teases return that Calum finds himself reminded that this part is easy. The dating, talking about each other’s day, filling each other in on the happens since their last deep conversation is all easy. He is allowed to find comfort in the ease of their laughter. For the first time since he’d called Eve to come back into his life, Calum feels like this might’ve been the right choice all along.

Back in the breeze of the night, they walk side by side, hand in hand. The evening is calm as it can be. There’s still the sounds of sirens, the honk of someone’s car in the distance. But it feels a bit easier to be out in public with Eve. Partially it’s because Calum knows there’s very few paps that still feel the need to follow his every move anymore. Not that there were many paps for a long stretch there, but their first run at a relationship was notably marked by photographers awaiting the perfect snap. Now his band and fame is an old flame. Which means as he directs the both of them to the ice cream place a few stores down, he doesn’t think long about if someone will recognize either him or Eve.

“For someone so busy, you’re still finding time to keep your hair dyed,” Calum comments, taking in the emerald green ends. “I don’t think you got to green the last time.”

“I go through phases,” Eve returns, spoon digging at the sides of her bowl to get more sprinkles on her spoon.

“Any color you want next?”

“Maybe blue again? Not sure. Depending on how this strips when I remove it, it might be mint green or yellow next.”

Calum nods, working the cherry from the stem with his tongue. “Used to say I would dye my gray hairs,” he offers.

Eve catches there might be more behind the sentiment so she quirks her brow. “I don’t see any dye.”

“Never got around to it. Think I should start?”

“No,” she returns swiftly. “I don’t think you should.”

Calum laughs around the cherry he’s working down. When he’s mouth is free of the mashed fruit, he continues on, “Why’s that?”

Eve offers a tiny shrug. “Like I said, you’re handsome. Why would you need to hide getting older?”

“I mean, men aren’t told to care that much about their looks. But it’s not easy. I really thought I’d get out of California when I had kids. Town’s not good for ‘em. Everyone’s obsessed with the way they look. It’s not hard to start thinking maybe you need to care too.”

“A place like this can easily breed insecurities,” Eve agrees. Her spoon scrapes up the last dregs of her sundae. “It doesn’t seem like the town won out, though?”

Calum’s natural reaction is to laugh it off, but Eve’s eyes are narrowed in and assessing. He runs a hand through the hair, the curls wrapping around themselves before sitting back in the chair. “It’s hard with kids. They come first a lot of the times. Whatever’s going on with me just sort of defaults to not important enough. You notice it though. When the pants fit a little too tight or the hole you used to wear a belt on goes up by one or two, you notice. I used to think I’ll get to it. When things settle down, I’ll get back to where I was. I still go to the gym 4 times a week. I’m not sitting on my ass all day long. My knees would protest me if I did. But it hit me, ten years ago now, I think, there’s no going back. The body I had at eighteen, twenty, hell even thirty is long gone. I won’t ever be him again.”

Calum pauses, glancing out of the window they’re sitting next to. In the reflection due to the lights inside and lack of lights outside, Calum watches as Eve shuffles in closer, leaning onto the table. He doesn’t give into her silent invitation. “The pants just have to go at some point. They start taking up too much closet space. Sure the slight graying in the stubble or in my hair doesn’t really strike me initially. I’m too busy worried about the gut to worry about the hair. But then, I’m at the beach and there’s this guy older than me still cut and I think that’s the first moment where it sort of click for me. I really wasn’t going to get that body back and spending my time wishing for it doesn’t actually do anything about it. But what makes that man feel like he has to look like he’s still twenty five. I wasn’t even that cut at twenty five. I was toned. But then I look at what my body has always been and it becomes this thing. It’s always in the back of my mind. I’ve never had the washboard abs and I keep seeing everyone around me with them. These guys are half my age and I still want to win the body image race. I’m not going to. But I want to.”

Calum shakes his head for a moment, eyes finally drifting up to Eve’s. “This probably makes no sense.”

She shakes her head. “No, no, you can tell me. You can keep going.”

“It’s boring. Really. In the end I’m here. This is the only body I’m going to get so hating it feels like a waste of the very limited time I do have.”

“So no hair dye?”

Calum grins, head shaking again with a no. “Again, I could spend my time in a salon getting it dyed or I could get the grocery shopping done. I’m going to get the grocery shopping done. Easy choice. I could work out 5 times a week or I could have an extra hour in my day for a nap, or errands, or seeing my friends, or going on a date with you. I think I’m going to take that extra hour back in my day. I break it all down to choice: I could choose to keep spending time loathing and wallowing in self pity or I can do literally anything else on my to-do list. I try to eat healthy. I keep active. And I want to enjoy my life.”

“Damn, here I was thinking the only enjoyment in life was wallowing in self-pity,” Eve reclines back into her seat too now, fingers spinning her empty bowl around in circles.

“Yeah, I’ll be the first to tell you there’s a lot more to be doing.”

“Like eating ice cream,” Eve offers. She gestures to Calum’s own cup that’s not quite finished.

“Absolutely like eating ice cream.” Calum reaches back out for his cup and pulls it up to his chest.

“It’s a problem I’d kill to have.” Eve says the sentence mostly to herself given the audience of the teen couples in the ice cream shop. A couple groups look like friends enjoying the cold sugary treat. But Eve keeps the confession quiet enough that she can almost watch the words fall from her lips into the empty cup beneath her as she sits up more in the seat. Though she’d learned that her predicament was not changing long ago, it doesn’t mean that she didn’t occasionally want something else.

“Guess we will always want what we can’t have,” Calum answers though there was no real question. Eve will always want to age and never have it. Calum will want to stay young and can’t have it. The two of them will always desire each other eternally and Calum is merely mortal.

“Are you sure you don’t want to call desire a poison?”

“I mean, I wouldn’t call this desire one.”

Eve watches. Calum’s working down the scoop from his spoon. Is he referring to the desire between the two of them? Is he referring to the ice cream? Most often Eve could always read behind the words that Calum was giving. But given the way he’s hungrily scoping down the sugary treat, Eve’s not sure where Calum’s word lay. “Me or the ice cream?” she questions.

“Why not both?” Calum clarifies. “Why box me in?”

“I’d never do such a thing. But it was important to clarify.” She doesn’t bite back the smile. “Want another?”

Calum shakes his head. “What I want isn’t on the menu.”

Eve sighs at the taste of chocolate still sitting on Calum’s tongue when he laps into her mouth. The metal of the car presses into the bare skin of Eve’s back and the coldness cuts through the haze that’s descending. Though her fingers are digging at Calum’s waist, tugging him closer into her body and her hips widening to accept him, the cold metal keeps Eve grounded. They’re still in public. There’s a line that shouldn’t be crossed. But Eve wants nothing more than to crawl into Calum’s chest and never leave. The warmth of his touch sears her skin and she’s nearly forgotten how much her body was made for him.

Calum’s moan is swallowed down by the wet smacking of Eve’s lips against his. His muscles ache with how much he’s demanding himself to keep his hands in appropriate places. But it’s tempting. He could so easily take one of her hips into his palms. He remembers how snug he can hold her flesh and it barely leaves a mark. He could take her ass into his hands, hoist her up onto his waist, rut up into her and she’d sigh. It all comes back exactly what Eve likes. Calum doesn’t do anything if that; he behaves. Calum moves one hand and only one to cup Eve’s neck. His fingers splay over her pulse point and he can find the erratic thump of her veins against his fingers.

When he squeezes, just slightly, Eve drops her head back causing her lips to pull away from his. Calum grins against her mouth, hovering but never quite sealing around hers. Eve grins too, slipping her hands to press into the cut of Calum’s own hips, still above his jeans but dangerous enough that Calum knows what she’s hinting at. “Ah, there she is,” Calum teases. “Now, see if you had a place of your own, this next part would be much less complicated.”

Eve says nothing. Her throat is still cupped in Calum’s hold. Calum realizes now she has nothing to say because she’s digging into his chest pocket. His keys click as she brandishes them. “Trust me?”

Of course, Eve has connections. If Calum was ever to need something, Eve could somehow always get her hands on it. He’d stopped asking questions on how she managed to have such an ability but there is a certain level of trust he has to have with her. “I do,” Calum answers.

Eve unlocks the car, free hand finding the door handle. As it clicks open and Eve steps forward, Calum lets his hands on her fall. “Sit back and relax,” she commands, holding the door open for Calum.

He leans over the door to plant another kiss to her lips. As he slides into the passenger seat, Eve closes the door for him. She’s quick to jog around the front of the car. Her descent into the seat is a bit more graceful than Calum’s. She adjusts the seat up closer to the steering wheel with a chuckle. “God, I know you’re taller than me but how do you manage to sit so far back from the wheel?” Eve teases.

“Not everyone has to drive up on the steering wheel like they’re driving Miss Daisy.” Foot on the brake, Eve pushes to start the ignition. Her hand comes up to swat at Calum’s arm but he captures it before it fully connects. His lips leave a trail of kisses before he place the limb near the gear shift. A sign for her to continue.

The streets are smooth and Calum’s just barely keeping up the turns. He’s focused more on the way Eve seems to sit with ease. His legs continue to bounce the longer the drive goes. What if he’s not what Eve remembers him as? He had aged. Still in good shape, but he was not in the same shape that he had been half his life ago. His knees sometimes bother him. Many years of punk jumps will inevitably catch up on the body. Sure Calum had confessed in the ice cream shop that he was worried about his appearance. Yes, Calum still wants Eve sexually. But it’s hitting him as they wind through the streets that it might leave her dissatisfied.

The car pulls to a stop, a hanging red light in front of them. The touch is light on his cheek and Calum turns into it. Eve’s thumb strokes his flesh slowly. “Don’t get lost up there,” she whispers.

“I’m okay,” Calum states. He wants to believe it too. He needs to believe that he’s okay.

“It’s okay if you’re not. But I need you to stay down here with me, okay?” Eve’s smile is sweet.

Calum nods, throat seizing up on him just a little but he has enough air to respond, “Okay.”

The light turns green and Eve drops her hand to his knee before taking off. In another block, they pull into a parking lot of a hotel. Calum snorts, upon seeing the building. “There were cheaper motels much closer to my house.”

“Let me spoil you,” Eve sighs. They climb out of the car together. Eve waits at the back of the car, hand extended out. Calum takes it with ease. Eve’s strides are long enough to keep up with Calum’s. “Now, follow my lead. And don’t under any circumstances think that you should reach for your wallet at any point during the check in.”

“Eve I’m not going to let you--”

“Don’t,” she interrupts. “Lean a bit more into me, okay?” Eve slides her arm around his waist dropping the hold on her hand. Calum rests a tiny bit more of his weight into Eve’s frame. The door slides open and the lobby is incredibly cold. The rush of hair cuts through the two shirts Calum is wearing. Eve opted to drop his jacket off in the car between them finishing their food and going into the shop. Calum hadn’t even thought to grab it on the way out of the car. He realizes just how cold it is when Eve rubs her palm over her back. His fingers are digging into her shoulders.

“Welcome to The Rosewood,” the girl at the front desk greets. “Do you two have a reservation already?”

“My husband and I have been driving through the night. He got tired driving and now so am I. Would you happen to have a room available? I am terribly sorry for the inconvenience,” Eve starts.

Calum’s grateful for the tiny bit of Eve’s warmth seeping into his clothes. He gives a tiny grin when the girl looks up at him and he realizes now--something else swirls in her irises. Like the purple swirls in Eve’s.

“Your husband?” the girl repeats, slower and with something like surprise coloring the words. Calum can’t tell if she was expecting something to happen in the exchanged glances; had he given himself away as not one of them?

“Second chances,” Eve returns, tightening her hold on his waist just a little.

Did this girl already know about Calum? He’d never seen her before, not that he remembers at least. The joke Kiri made about Calum’s memory resurfaces. But now, Calum is sure after noticing the red swirling in her eyes that he’d remember that. He remembered Eve.

The girl taps at her keyboard, mouse clicking several times before she turns to a machine--two keycards in her hand. Calum’s been at plenty of hotels to know that they should’ve asked how many beds, what size. But none of that was discussed. There’s no conversation about the per night charge. As the keys one at a time hover over the machine, it beeps to let the attendant know the cards have been magnetized and properly keyed for the right room.

The girl smiles as she slides over both keys. “11th floor. 1125.”

Eve takes the cards from the counter. “Thank you.”

“Should we adjust the heat in the room for your guest?”

Eve nods. “Just a little.”

“Consider it done. Enjoy your stay, my liege.”

Eve’s quick on her heel to guide Calum towards the elevators. But he glances back, noticing the girl speaking into a walkie. Enjoy your stay, my liege. The words echo around in Calum’s brain, so much so he doesn’t even catch the ding of the elevator. He walks in because Eve pulls him through.

“What is this place?” Calum questions as the doors close. “Do you own this place?”

“It’s a hotel,” Eve replies. “Which services all people and some creatures as needed.”

“So she is?” He doesn’t really finish the question: So, she is a demon too?

Eve nods. “Yes, she is. There’s covers all over the world. I opened them because I can’t answer every single call. I can’t keep tabs single handedly. But there are plenty of calls that are just not worth it. It’s all legitimate. You don’t need to worry about getting caught up, though.”

“But they know me?”

“They do. And they know you and your family are off limits. I have very little time for servers who think it’s fun to use humans as play things. They create problems. I vet rigorously and it only takes one offense with me. I have rules for a reason.”

Calum hears everything else that she doesn’t say. “Because you need people you trust when you’re with me.”

“Exactly. I don’t want to be worried no work is getting done. I don’t want to be worried that there’s trouble when I’m with you.” The elevator lurches to a stop and the doors slide open.

Calum follows behind Eve this time. So Eve has hotel fronts--which are legitimate hotels. Calum assumes so because Eve says so and because as she starts down the hallway someone else draped in a robe shuffles down past them--ice bucket in hand. They smile as Calum and Eve pass, hardly interrupting the tune they’re whistling. No strange color swirls in their eyes. Not that Calum thinks anyone would just go out and about with that aspect constantly visible.

“Why don’t you stay here?”

“It’s not like I need a place to sleep.”

“But you’d have an actual room and bed here. Your stuff would be safer.”

Eve pauses at their door. 1125 stared back at Calum. It reminds him briefly of how close his and Cailean’s birthdays are. “Are you concerned about my things or are you concerned about me?”

“You,” Calum returns, turning her by her hips. “I am always concerned about you.”

“I’m safe, Calum.”

“But you would be safer here.”

“I can think of one other place I’m safer,” Eve whispers, pushing slightly up on her tiptoes.

“Where’s that?” Calum whispers back. The door clicks open and Eve grins as she steps into the room backwards. It only takes one crook of her finger for Calum to follow. Whatever concerns had about her safety are overridden by desire.

The room is warm--thankfully so. They only flicker on the bedside lamp. And Calum’s not really sure who turned it on. The only thing he can focus on is the way Eve tastes. He listens for every sigh she releases. He zeroes in on the way she clings to him. It makes his toes curl to still be desired. Calum’s overshirt is the first to go. Eve runs her fingers over his biceps, eyes focusing in on the ink. Some of it she’s always known was there. Other items are new. Her nails scratch lightly at the black ink. “You with me?” Calum whispers into her jaw.

“Yes,” Eve exhales, chasing his lips down again.

The kiss is broken by Calum’s one word response, “Good.”

Calum’s breath leaves him as Eve peels herself out of the top. She stands next to the edge of the bed, arms peeling out of the mesh sleeves. The top falls almost quietly onto the carpeted floor and Calum’s mouth salivates at the sight of her breasts. He grips her hips and tug. Eve laughs as she falls into him, catching herself by holding onto his shoulder. The warmth of his tongue over her nipples causes her to moan. She loves it. Loves the way that Calum whispers into his skin, So beautiful. So fucking beautiful. She’s not sure if Calum wants the words to mean something more, but she doesn’t have the brain to ask as he holds her tight.

Her pants slide down next and Eve stands bare.

“Oh my god,” Calum laughs, dragging a hand down over his face. “I think I’ve died and gone to heaven.”

“Hmm, almost,” Eve asks. She straddles his hips, fingers teasing at the pulled up hem of his undershirt. “Can I take this off you?”

It’s the question he knew was coming. He would have to eventually, right? That was the expectation for him. He would have to take his shirt off.

“You don’t have to say yes,” Eve continues on when Calum’s eyes fall from her face. “We can stop here.”

Calum ties his arms around her waist, forearms griped into the hand of the other at her back. “I don’t want to stop here,” he starts. The rest of the words die on his tongue for a moment. “I don’t have the body I did all those years ago, okay?”

“You don’t have the body you did all those years ago,” Eve returns. “Can I let you in on a secret?”

Calum nods, eyes falling back to her face. “Of course.”

“I don’t expect you to. I don’t want you to. I want where Calum is now--thirty years later, three kids later, a whole life span later. I want you for where you are now. Can I have that? Where you are now?”

Calum kisses her--there are no words in his throat to convey the relief that floods his body. He can do that. It’s where he is now and that’s all she wants. Calum can do that. He parts the kiss and sheds the undershirt. He feels more vulnerable her now, under the watchful gaze that Eve levels him with. But she smiles. “Lay back for me.”

Her hands are on his shoulders and Calum gives into the non-existence pressure, letting himself fall back into the mattress. Eve bends forward just a little, arms holding her weight up above Calum. “You’re handsome you know? So fucking handsome,” she adds before pressing a kiss to Calum’s clavicle. She traces down to his peck, then kisses the other side. Her kisses continue all across the expanse of his chest. She even goes so far as to tease one of his nipples.

Calum grunts at the sensation, but the warmth of her mouth makes him feel like he’s going to float away. He loves it. “Thank you,” he exhales each time Eve breathes her praise into his skin.

She kisses over his stomach. Calum tries to retract whenever she takes a bite, laughing just a little at the antic. “You should’ve eaten more at the restaurant if you were this hungry,” Calum laughs.

“Oh you’re more delicious.”

Calum is softer in her hold. But she adores the way when she presses in and it’s still firm, but still soft too. It reminds her that Calum’s lived an entire life. One that he deserved to have. He deserves to be happy. He deserves to be fulfilled in his life, in all the ways that he wanted. Eve can feel her own arousal leaking from her as she takes in the sight of Calum beneath her. Calum’s hands run lazily over her thighs.

“Your jeans are going to be ruined,” Eve warns.

Calum traces the line of her stomach down and reaches between her legs. Her slick drips down on his fingers. “It’s a good thing they can be washed.”

Eve tries to keep her composure. But Calum teases her clit with the tips of his fingers, slow circles and it punches her gut. She clenches around nothing knowing what will come next. Calum watches the way her breathing picks up, becomes heavier and quicker above him. He continues on, small small circles. “Please,” she whispers.

“Please what, love?”

Eve takes his wrist and moves his hand back a little. His fingers now just below her opening. “Are you really going to make me beg?”

Calum pushes up to one elbow. He traces her opening and her grip loosens. “Maybe.”

“Calum,” she exhales. “Please.”

Calum brings one finger up and when it slides in easily, he thinks twice and then removes it, before slipping two digits inside. Eve falls forward just a little, a yelp scratching over her throat. Her hips grind down before she can stop herself. Calum relaxes back down into the mattress grinning at Eve sighs. He takes her left hip into his free hand, guiding her back up.

She tastes heavenly. Calum hums around the two digits in his mouth. Though he can see the disappointment on her face, Eve doesn’t utter anything. She just watches Calum, pupils blown almost fully. “Come here,” Calum huffs out, pulling at her knees. Eve goes, crawling on her hands and knees up Calum’s body.

He pulls her down onto his mouth, arms hooking around her legs to hold her in place. The first swipe of his tongue earns him a content hum. Like Eve’s been waiting desperately for this and Calum realizes the only thing he cares about right now is that sound. Swipe after swipe, Calum works her so she sighs and moans above him.

Eve cards her fingers through his hair, legs tensing a little beneath her. The orgasm is fast approaching. It starts deep from the pit of her stomach, spreading like fire throughout her chest and limbs. The work of Calum’s tongue has her hanging between her earthly surroundings and pure ecstasy. She feels the steady march of her release shaking her core and she can only find it within herself to grind down on Calum’s face. “Shit,” she whispers. “Cal. I’m--”

The words die. She can’t get them out, not with how deep her orgasm comes from her gut. Her jaw goes slack and though a scream should fall from her lips, she is silent. Her grip tightens in Calum’s hair and he knows. Her spasms are erratic and her legs are quivering. Calum knows she’s coming undone and a little bit of pride sparks in his chest. He’s still got it. He can still make Eve buckle like this. For the moment by doubts are quieted.

Though Eve’s still blinking back to the surface from her own post orgasm haze, she shimmies back down Calum’s body, placing kisses as she goes. She gets one hand onto the buckle of his belt and then pauses. “May I?”

It only takes a nod. Eve’s work is quick as she undoes the buckle. Her fingers are deft on the button and zipper. Eve works his pants down, underwear in her grasp too, and Calum exhales when she kisses his shaft. Her laughter is soft before she continues on, disrobing him completely. Calum’s trying to keep himself grounded. But Eve’s touch keeps taking him away. Her lips are soft around his length. She holds his hips down with her palms and Calum’s sure his whole lead is going to float off.

Not that Calum thinks he wants his head back back if it does fall off his shoulders. He wants nothing back if Eve took it. And God, is she taking everything as she grasps the base of his cock with one hand and her lips wrapping around the rest. There’s no hesitation as she takes him down her throat. Even behind the dark of his closed eyelids, Calum feels everything. If this is what it means to be a goner, Calum never wants to be found.

“One sec-” Calum huffs, the strong tug of Eve’s hand at his length cutting off his words. Now, he’s laying between her legs, a slow shift from the blow job she’d started to the top of the bed. They both know where they are headed and Eve is the more impatient one of the two of them currently. She pouts when Calum breaks the kiss. “One second,” he whispers, pulling away from Eve.

She lets her arms fall from around his neck and watches as he shuffles back to the edge of the bed, moving from between her legs which they’d been in for what feels like hours. There’s something more wildly intimate about sharing breaths and reverent kisses than engaging in anything else. There’s something more intimate just being close to someone that Calum hadn’t had in a long time he wants to experience the most. Sex is great, but when Eve kisses at his neck gently and when she laughs Calum feels like he’s never lost anything. He feels a little bit more complete. Calum finds his pants again, rooting into the front pocket.

“What are you looking for?”

Calum holds up the tiny foil packet, brows furrowing as he looks back at Eve. He’d gotten a vasectomy after Māra’s birth, about a year later he’d figured. But Calum is nothing if not cautious. Nothing was fully preventative and though he loves his kids he is well past the diaper phases with all of them. He has zero desire to return to that. Eve grins, her laughter shaking her shoulders. They hold each other’s gaze for one moment, then two. Calum’s gaze breaks first, brows shooting up on his face. His own amusement paints his face. “You--that’s right!”

“Unless you feel more comfortable with a condom, of course. I haven’t had any other partners in a while.”

“Like what—what’s a while for you? six months?” Calum guesses. “You don’t have to spare my feelings, you know?”

“Like try a year and a half, maybe two,” Eve laughs.

“Babe,” Calum coos. “A year and a half?”

“It didn’t kill me. Don’t pity me.”

Calum settles back onto the bed, motioning for her to come to him. Eve slides over and sits next to him, legs tucked under herself. “It’s not pity, Eve. The condom--it's a habit. And I never expected you to be out here celibate forever. It’s just--a year and a half? What were you waiting on?”

“You.”

“If that’s just a line, it’s a damn good one.”

Eve tips Calum’s chin up and her grip tightens on the bone. “It is not, nor will it ever be a line.” Calum knows that look ne tone. Every word is serious. Every syllable is truth. “Now bring you and your condom over here, please.”

“With pleasure,” Calum exhales.

Calum thinks for a moment he’s not going to make it long. He hadn’t lost all his stamina, but Eve pulses around him in a way that makes him worried about how long it’s been since the last time he was with someone that he’s going to come embarrassingly quick. There wouldn’t be any judgment, but the fear prickles up just a little for Calum as his hips snap against hers. He’s able to quiet it mostly he zeros in on Eve. He gets to watch her face contort and he gets to listen to every praise all because of him. And that’s all because of him. He’s making Eve feel that good.

Any fear he might’ve had is almost instantly squashed by the way Eve clings to him. How can he be worried about anything else when she’s begging for him? How can he doubt anything when Eve’s babbling beneath him? It’s incoherent and Calum knows it’s all because of him. There’s no higher higher than listening to Eve beg on his cock.

Except for when Eve can see the slight falter and if it’s because of how close he is or because of the exertion catching up, Eve doesn’t question it. She just gets a tighter grip on Calum, plants one foot down onto the mattress and pushes up. Calum holds onto her waist and lets her take him down. “Let me,” she whispers into his ear. “Let me do the hard work now.”

Calum can only nod. The prickle of fear comes back and he nearly curses his body for getting older. He can’t fully form the thought because Eve pushes back up from his chest and sinks back down onto his length in one fluid motion. Calum can only see stars. Perhaps, this is the higher high. Eve’s bounce is intoxicating, a deliciously methodical pace that doesn't feel overwhelming though the pressure is slowly and steadily building in Calum’s gut. He hears her laughs and it doesn’t feel malicious. “Look at you,” she coos. “Tell me, how does it feel?”

Calum’s mouth gapes, he wants to say it feels so good. But the words catch as she gives a particularly firm push back down. “So fucking good,” he squeaks out, taking her hips into his hands.

“Bet it does,” Eve exhales. Her breathing is coming out more labored, bordering on a pant, but she doesn’t relent.

Calum’s tells are still the same, Eve notices. His nose scrunches up first and then his fingers dig into the meat of her thighs. He’s getting closer. “Fuck,” he grunts. “Just like that, Eve. Please.”

“Have no plans otherwise,” she laughs.

His jaw falls slack and his orgasm rips through. All he can get is a groan, maybe it borders a scream, as his body convulses. Eve follows behind him, taking one of her hands which has been bracing her up on Calum’s chest to her clit. Her orgasm hits fast and hard. An actual scream leaves Eve’s lips. It’s Calum’s name and he swears the sound might be the end of him. It sounds so heavenly to hear something so visceral.

By the time Calum and Eve return to the house, the downstairs is empty. It’s a good thing because Calum’s black jeans clearly spot the stain of Eve’s arousal. Not a conversation he is looking to have if he can avoid it. Calum can hear the kids upstairs--Cailean is laughing as Māra’s voice falls down the stairs. “Get out!” she screeches.

“It’s past your bedtime, kiddo. Gotta see you off since Dad’s out.”

“No, you just want to be an ass,” Māra huffs. “Get out, Cai.”

“For the love of all things holy, the two of you need to quit it,” Kiri’s voice finally enters the mix. Calum and Eve use the spat as cover to get to the guest room downstairs. Calum closes the door softly behind them. They’re quick to shower--specifically together-- and change out of the date clothes.

“I’m going to make sure no one is actually dead, then I’ll be right back,” Calum details, kissing Eve’s forehead from where it pokes out beneath the sheets. The squabble sounds rectified, but he wants to make sure it was nothing serious.

“Need back up?”

“Don’t think so, but if I do, you’ll know.”

Calum carries himself up the steps. He can see Kiri’s door is cracked at the end of the hallway, the light bleeds into the hallway. As he reaches the top of the stairs, he catches the light underneath the doors from Cailean’s room and Māra’s room. He knocks on Kiri’s door first, bypassing the younger two for the moment.

“Yeah?” Kiri calls, spinning in his chair. He spots Calum and then smiles. “Hey, Pops. How was the date?”

“Good--enjoyed some ice cream as a nice touch.”

Kiri laughs, pointing at his own neck to let Calum know of the visible bruises. “Looks like really good ice cream.”

“Hey, hey, you’ve come back from a party or two in worse wear.”

Kiri nods, knowing of his own escapades. He holds up his hands as surrender. “No grandkids. No doctor trips, like my old man taught me.”

“Are you still seeing her? You haven’t mentioned Bryanna in a while.”

Kiri shakes his head. Calum’s not sure if he’s imagining the shift, but Kiri looks away as he speaks, “No. She, uh, she and I didn’t work out.”

Calum can tell there’s more to the story than just what Kiri gives. But Kiri isn’t the type to be fully outright. He cracks, but Calum knows he can’t outright ask what’s wrong. He just needs to crack open the door. Then Kiri will do the rest. “You know where to find me if you want to talk about it.”

“Yeah, though I think I will have to text you before I think of going downstairs. Don’t need to hear anything either.”

Calum laughs, pressing into the door molding. It presses a little into the nail marks that he noticed his shower earlier. But it’s not a bad pain. “The last thing I want to do is scar my kids so don’t worry. Anything I need to know about with those two? Besides the argument I heard when I walked in the door.”

Kiri shakes his head, pushing up from his chair. He’s the same height as Calum when they’re next to each other. But Kiri looked so much like Calum’s own mother that it shocks Calum how much he does see Kelsie in his face too. It’s the sharp eyes that he got from Kelsie that Calum sees the most. Everything else is Calum. “Nah, it was just loud--what you heard. Nothing serious.”

Calum nods at the return. Though this feels like a moment where he might be able to walk away, Calum stays. All Calum has to do is crack open the door. Kiri will take the inch. Kiri finally speaks again for a few moments of silence. “Are-are you happy with Eve, Pops?”

Calum exhales. He hadn’t expected Kiri to worry so much about him, nor did Calum think this would be the door Kiri would open. “Kiri, I know you care. But that’s not your job.”

“It’s not. I know. I just--are you happy with Eve?”

“I’m--I like being with Eve. I’m not happy because of her. I am happier around her though. There’s, uh, there’s a lot that I still have to deal with surrounding Kelsie’s death. I don’t think I’ll ever be over it. Yeah, I’m happy where Eve and I are. I like spending time with her. But that does not mean I’ve forgotten your mother.”

“No, no, it’s not that. I know you haven’t forgotten Mom. I’m asking because you seem happier when she’s around. Even if you two did have that small spat.”

“You-you heard that?” Calum rubs a hand over his stubbly chin. Not one of his proudest moments. “I’m sorry, son.”

“I’ve heard you and mom fight too. It’s nothing new. I asked because I wanted to say that I’m glad you’re happy, you know? We worried. I’d hear you sometimes at night when Mom first passed. And I knew I couldn’t do anything, you now. I was crying too. But, it’s just, it’s insane to think that a year ago we were all thinking we’d never get through it. And now, we-we are. We’re getting through it.”

“It’s all time, Ki. It’s all time.”

Kiri nods. It was all time. In more time they’d be even further along too. Though, Kiri’s current predicament seemed like time would never give him what he wanted. “Brynna and I didn’t work out because I refused sex a couple of times.”

There is it--the mile Kiri would take if Calum gave an inch. Calum crosses the threshold into Kiri’s room, closing the door softly behind him. His heart pounds in his chest. Was this going to turn into a story of Kiri giving in just to appease someone? Was it going to turn out much worse? For a moment, Calum’s vision shakes, but he inhales deeply and settles in the desk chair Kiri had originally vacated while Kiri settles onto the bed. “Are you okay, Kiri?”

“Yeah, yeah, I’m okay now. And I didn’t do anything I didn’t want to do. But I don’t know. It all still sort of feels weird I guess.”

“Weird how?”

“I-The first time it happened we’d been drinking.” It’s not lost on Calum just how young Kiri is. Yes, it’s underage. But the thing that Calum is more focused on is that if Kiri’s going to make those choices he knows the consequences. He prefers if he’s honest that Kiri drinks at home. But he knows it won’t happen. Kelsie didn’t like the drinking at all and the first time he turned up home drunk Calum had been the one to get him to his room and leave water for him in the morning. Kelsie, much like Calum, understood the kids would make choices they didn’t always love, but they never wanted to make their kids feel bad for choices. Sometimes natural consequences were enough.

Kiri finally works the lump down in his throat to continue on. “I wasn’t drunk. But I wasn’t sober. Brynna was worse than me so when she initiated it, I sort of squashed it. Played up I was drunker than I was and when I told her we probably shouldn’t, she seemed a little hurt at first. But the party continued on and it was just a struggle to get her back to her dorm room. But she passed out the second she got into her bed. It never seemed to come back up again.”

Calum nods, to let Kiri know he’s still listening. “Take your time,” he offers soft watching Kiri blink away some tears.

“But the second time, she and I were here. Studying. And I know not a lot of studying was happening. We were getting a little handsy. Kissing was fine, but I just didn’t want sex. Nothing against her. But I’d been on edge after getting my second exam back in Calculus, that D.”

Calum offers another nod. He remembers how Kiri had stomped into the house and gone directly to his room. It took until dinner for Kiri to be calm enough to express his struggles with the course. They sat down that night to figure out how to book Kiri a tutor through the university. But they got it and now he’s getting by with a B-. It may just barely be a B minus, but it’s better than the D+ he’d been at.

“I don’t know. Like it was a distraction, I guess when Brynna first approached me. And I sort of gave in because I wanted to at first. But when I’d back out of the gate and go back to work, she’d kiss at my neck again a few minutes later. After the second time of me sort of softly rejecting her, she tried a third time and I just had to flat out tell her I didn’t want more right then. She got offended. She accused me of cheating. I tried to tell her that I wasn’t cheating. And I swear I wasn’t Pops. Then she said that me rejecting her made her feel unwanted and like she wasn’t attractive. And I don’t know. Everything I said was wrong. If I tried to tell her I did find her attractive, then she’d ask why I didn’t want sex. And I just didn’t, you know? I just didn’t want it right then. But it all got out of hand. She started screaming at me. I--it got to the point where I told her I’d take her back to campus but I wasn’t going to be screamed at and accused of things that weren’t true. I wanted to talk it out and I offered to like give her some space so we could talk it through. But it never de-escalated.”

Calum can see the tears falling and he reaches out, a hand on Kiri’s knee. It’s not the story he thought he’d get--part of Calum is relieved to hear that his worst nightmare was not recognized. But it’s not easy. It never is. “Look at me, Kiri.”

Kiri sniffles hard before he brings his head up to look his father in his face. “I don’t know what I did wrong. It sucks.”

“It does suck. I’m sure you know I can’t tell you what you did right or wrong. I wasn’t there. But I can tell you that you offering to talk about it after Brynna calmed down is a better move than I could’ve given at your age.”

“She eventually ordered a ride back to school even though I offered to drive her. She did text me that she got back safely after I asked her too. But when I tried to text her the next day to see if she was in an okay spot to talk, she just told me that she wanted her ring back.”

“Did she ever talk to you?”

Kiri shakes his head no. “Thanks,” he returns when Calum hands him a few tissues from the box he keeps on his desk.

“It’s okay to refuse sex when you don’t want it. I know it might fly in the face of everything you might’ve seen in movies, or heard from your friends. But you can say no. People have to respect it when you make that decision. If they don’t, that’s a them problem. You let her know you didn’t want it. It’s really up to her to respect that decision. If she can’t, then the only thing I want you to worry about is keeping yourself safe, you hear me?”

Kiri nods. “I mean, it’s not like I’m a woman, you know.” It’s easy to hear what Kiri’s is implying. He won’t have the same experience as Māra.

Calum scoots to the edge of the chair, taking Kiri by the back of his neck. They’re foreheads press together. Calum can feel his own tears more now, as they slip down his cheeks. “You may not feel threatened in the same way women do. But it’s still important that you are safe. Your safety is still important.”

Kiri nods, as much as he can, given Calum’s grip. “I know, Dad.”

“I’m glad you stood your ground. I’m so fucking glad she just left and nothing else worse happened. I’m sorry she yelled. I’m sorry she accused you of that shit. But I need you to remember: your job is always to come back safe to me. You got that?”

“Yeah.” Even as the affirmative leaves Kiri’s mouth, his chest feels a little lighter. It doesn’t feel like so much is pressing at his shoulders and neck. He is safe. It does suck what Brynna did and never let Kiri really explain further. Given that she didn’t look at him anymore in classes, he wouldn’t ever get the chance to explain anymore.

“Come here,” Calum whispers, moving to embrace Kiri in a tight hug. “You’re safe,” he chants. It’s more for Calum than it is for Kiri. Kiri is safe. He’d stood his ground. Brynna had left. “You’re safe.”

When Kiri’s hold loosen, Calum lets him go. Kiri confirms that he’s okay and slowly, Calum steps out of the room, closing the door behind him.

Eve’s right at the top of the stairs, eyes quietly assessing the redness in Calum’s eyes. His cheeks are wet and he’s sniffling. His chest heaves and she knows something has happened. But she doesn’t say anything before ducking into the bathroom next to Kiri’s room to grab toilet paper. Thankfully she knows it’s a bathroom due to the open door. She hands the wad over to Calum, one hand rubbing at his back. “Came up because I got worried. You okay?”

Calum tucks his head into her neck. He inhales the scent of her body wash. It’s hard for the panic to fully settle when he’s counting how long to hold his breath before he exhales. Eve just holds Calum in silence, keeping her palm a steady slip over his back. When his breathing regulates enough, Calum pulls away. “Sorry.”

“No, no need to be sorry. Do you need anything?”

Calum clears his throat, hands settling now on her hips. “Just need a minute. Still need to check on Cai and Mar.”

Eve gives another nod, eyes assessing Calum’s face. So it’s something with Kiri. Eve doesn’t press. She only nods when Calum glances up at the ceiling. He gives another slightly more steady exhale before taking a step away. “Are my eyes red?”

“Just-just a little. Are there eye drops up here?” Eve turns a little, eyeing the bathroom she’d exited.

“Master bathroom does, I know. But it’s alright if they’re not super red.”

Eve shakes her head, turning back to Calum. “No, they’re not super red. Could pass for tiredness.”

“It’s all I need.” Calum squeezes at her hips and Eve slips a step back, as if she’d planned to go to the stairs again, but once Calum knocks and pokes his head into Māra’s, Eve tries to assess where the master bedroom might be so she can get to the connecting bathroom. The doors all look the same. She could guess but then if she’s wrong it’s obvious.

“Love you,” Calum returns as he shuts the door. He continues on to Cai’s room, knocking before he catches the affirmative call from behind the door to poke his head inside. Eve settles that maybe she won’t have enough time to find the master bedroom before he’s done. So she waits, near the stairs to hopefully avoid being detected. Though she knows if any of the kids open their door, she will be spotted.

“Alright, kid, let’s behave, yeah?”

“Yeah, yeah, I can do that. Love you,” Cailean laughs, his voice carrying from behind the door.

“Love you too.”

Eve takes a couple steps closer as Calum closes the door. Once it’s fully shut, she fully crosses the way to him. Calum slips his arm around her shoulders as she presses into his side. “Want to talk about it?” she asks, threading his fingers through hers.

Calum just nods for the stairs and they take them, rounding the corner to the back hallway and only stop once they’re in the bedroom. Calum tries to keep it brief in his retelling. He knows he maybe shouldn’t be even telling Kiri’s business. But he can still feel the shaking of his hands. Calum can still feel the initial anger coursing through his veins. The thing Calum feels most of all though is a sting in his chest. He wishes he could’ve been there more for his son. The truth is Calum didn’t know before now.

Kiri never said anything until now. He spent so much time on the campus that it was hard to get Kiri for longer than he wanted to be around. Had Calum failed Kiri by not being more firm on making it home for family dinners more often? Had this been festering for as long as it had--which had been weeks, maybe two months now. Kiri came home angry about the second exam about halfway through the semester. In another four or so weeks, the semester would be ending. It wasn’t Calum’s fault for what happened but were there signs Calum had missed?

Eve brings his head into her chest. “Hey, hey, I know that look. Baby, you didn’t know. Kiri’s growing up. He’s not going to tell you everything all the time. He’s going to take some things and do whatever he can to handle it on his own. You and Kelsie raised him to be a competent young man. He can handle a lot. More than you’ve seen him handle probably. When he can’t handle it, that’s when he comes to you. When he’s stumped, he knows you’re there.”

Calum nods, because it’s true. That’s the whole point of children growing up. Kelsie and Calum wanted their kids to get to this point. But it doesn’t make it hurt any less. “He used to come to us about everything. When he struggled with tying his shoes, he used to ask me to help. When he needed help with homework, he’d come to me.”

“He was supposed to go to you for those things,” Eve returns. “And he still does. He still comes to you. He did it tonight.” She’s not sure if these words are comforting or if she’s adding more fuel to the fire. “He still comes to you for help. It just looks different now.”

It does look different now. It will look different in another nineteen years too. Calum tightens the hold on Eve’s t-shirt. He knows she’s got plenty of business to attend to. She’d mentioned it earlier before they left for dinner. “Will you stay until I fall asleep?” Calum asks softly.

“Yes.”

“Will you be here when I wake up?” It feels silly to ask. Eve might not be able to promise that. But Calum needs reassurance. He’s afraid if he wakes and she’s not here, he’s going to unravel.

“Yes,” Eve returns again. “Yes, I will be here when you wake up.” Those words make it so much easier to contemplate sleep for Calum.

Calum catches the beeping of his alarm and he sighs. There will be little light when he cracks open his eyes. It won’t rise for another hour and a half. Something closes softly, even though Calum’s alarm is going, when the sound cuts down for a moment he catches the close. “Eve?” he asks quietly in the dark.

“It’s me.” Her voice floats back over the wail of the alarm.

Calum pushes up and turns the noise off. The bed dips a little behind him. He switches on the bedside lamp. There is the soft yellow haze as he turns, Eve fills out in front of him. Her horns--which Calum can’t help but recall the night her halo crumbled to reveal the horns-- are still protruding but clearly being retracted and hidden away. Calum strokes her jaw. “You don’t have to hide here.”

Eve closes the distance to press a kiss to his lips. “I like to keep up appearances,” she states against her lips. “You still okay for shopping today?”

“Dad’s gotta do what dad’s have to do,” Calum nods.

“Want me to handle breakfast then? Is today a workout day?”

“It is. But you don’t have to, Eve.”

The nails are sharp against his jaw, but Eve’s touch is gentle. “Give me one thing on your plate today.” It is not a plea. It is a command.

“Breakfast,” Calum concedes. “If you don’t mind.”

“Give me the rundown, boss.” As Calum pushes out of the bed, grabbing his workout clothes he talks through all the normal things he fixes for breakfast. Eve nods, peeling herself out the robes and slipping into one of Calum’s t-shirts. She leaves the leggings on. Her shoes have been toed off already.

“Cailean’s going to wake first. He showers and then does god know what in his room. Kiri wakes second. He’s a night showerer. So he’ll probably get downstairs first and be the first one of the door. Māra wakes last, takes the longest to get ready. But she’ll be down stairs before 7:25 to scarf down her oatmeal. Cailean’s driving Māra and himself to school now with his license so even if I’m not back, which I will be, but should I not, they’ll still get to school on time.”

Eve nods. “Oatmeal, banana, and orange for Cailean and Mar. Kiri will take whatever. What about you?”

“What do you mean?”

“What do you have?”

Calum grins. “I eat a little bit of oatmeal and usually some yogurt.”

“Won’t do,” Eve insists.

“I have survived on it this far.” Calum kisses her forehead after tying up his running shoes. Eve walks with him to the front door, after Calum gets something quick down before his workout.

At the crack of the door, Eve tugs Calum back by his waistband. He gives into the tug and she stretches to kiss him. The horizon is still dark, but it’s got a blue underhue that lets them all know dawn is coming. “Have a good run,” she wishes.

She has a little bit of time. It’s just barely five. Though she knows for her plan she can’t wait too long. So when the minutes tick over to about 5:45 she pushes from the bed. Her phone buzzes. Eve answers the call, listening to the rough breathing crackling through the phone. “Finished.”

Eve rattles off a set of coordinates to the voice on the other end of the phone. “Confirm the amount,” she commands after a minute of silence.

“550.”

“Wait for my call for the other half, waiting to confirm cleanliness.”

“Understood,” the voice heaves out. The phone call ends. Eve places her phone back onto the counter, giving the eggs one last flip.

“Morning,” Kiri says. His voice is a little hoarse but his smile seems mostly genuine as he takes in Eve’s appearance in the kitchen.

“Morning.” Eve sets a plate down at the bar counter. “That’s for you.”

Eggs and toast stare back up at Kiri. Then another bowl settles down--a melody of strawberries, blueberries and what looks like sliced mango. The glass clinks against the coaster--orange juice he realizes. “Thanks, Eve. You-I could’ve gotten all this.”

The front door cracks open, Calum’s voice floats up gently from the front. “Eve?”

“Kitchen,” she calls out. Then to Kiri, she adds, “I was fixing myself something and heard you upstairs.” An easy life.

“Thank you,” he returns. There is a plate which holds a similar assortment so it looks true enough. When Calum rounds the corner into the kitchen, he pats Kiri on the shoulder. The two men give a nod to each other before Calum carries on and kisses Eve’s forehead. She lifts the other plate and hands it over to Calum.

“Good run?”

He nods. Though he’s sure the sweat is clearly still dripping down his face. “Thank you,” he motions with the plate up and then settles down next to Kiri. His bowl of fruit and orange comes next and Kiri frowns a little. There are dishes that are in the sink. Perhaps Eve really did already eat.

“Of course, babe.” Eve turns back to the stove, pulling down the packets of oatmeal. The floors above them croak. By the time Calum finishes the dishes that are in the sink after his own breakfast, Cailean’s surfacing downstairs.

“Good morning,” he states. Not with a lot of usual Cailean bravado. Eve starts to deduce that he may not be a morning person like Kiri, but has had to adjust because he’s taken up driving him and Māra to school. Calum slips out of the kitchen to take his own shower.

“Burning the midnight oil?” Eve teases, setting a bowl of oatmeal and a banana on the placemat.

“My brain is not awake enough to even understand what that means,” Cailean returns. “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome, Cailean.”

He’s quiet as he eats and Eve tries to listen for Māra. She can’t quite separate out Calum’s shower from what might be running upstairs. So she glances at the clock on the oven. 7:10. Probably a good time to start Māra’s breakfast. Eve does worry for a moment that she might finish it too quickly so she slows everything down just a little. Calum returns to the kitchen and Cailean’s still there, backpack at his feet but there’s no Māra. He spins with a sigh and just as his mouth opens, Mar comes down the steps.

“Saved by the bell,” Calum grins. “Sleep good?”

She nods. “Sorry, sorry. I couldn’t decide on what shoes to wear since we are going shopping early. Didn’t want anything that would make my feet hurt.”

“Mar, I keep telling you that you need more cushion in your shoes because of your flat feet.”

“But those aren’t cute,” she protests, giving him a hug.

“You’ll get it when you’re older,” he laughs, kissing the top of her head. She scurries into the kitchen, knowing she’s only got a few minutes to spare.

“Good morning, Māra,” Eve states. Calum goes back to the sink, realizing more dishes have piled up.

“Hi, Eve. Thanks for breakfast.”

“Of course.”

It’s strange as the house falls silent. Kiri left while Calum was taking his shower, but he did say his goodbyes to the house before his departure. Cailean and Māra have long left. The dishes are done. Calum stops Eve on her way back to the room. She falls into his chest with ease. “Thank you for helping today, baby.”

“Of course, Cal. I’m happy to help. What time is Māra’s dentist appointment?”

“1:30. I’m picking her up during her lunch time, 12:45.”

“When are you leaving the studio then?”

Calum shakes his head. “Not going today. Will be going in a little tomorrow, four hours max.”

“So what are you planning to do for the next 4 hours?”

“You tell me,” Calum whispers into her neck.

Eve giggles at the scratch of his stubble. “Something tells me you have plenty of ideas.”

Speak of the devil. Calum waits for a moment longer and then another message pops up. It’s a screenshot of a text conversation and he taps on it, bringing this glasses down from the top of his head. He’d forgone his contacts as he was running low on time. As much as he didn’t want to leave the bed with Eve, she’d forced him up so he could get Māra on time and be on time to the appointment. Māra made it through another dental appointment with a clean bill of health and now he sits outside of the dressing rooms at the place Eve mentioned yesterday. She and Māra have been rummaging through racks for a solid twenty minutes and Calum opted to linger back as to not intrude too much.

After he approved her try on stack--a few of them just barely passing Calum’s initial check--Eve and Māra scurried to the fitting rooms. Eve agreed to be the first line of defense, knowing that she might be able to talk Māra down from any ledges before having to face Calum. Now Calum is here, pulling his glasses down to read the screenshots better that Kiri sent to him. At the top he can see Brynna’s name. The last text exchange was brief.

Kiri asked if she got back to the dorms safely. Brynna replied with a short, yes. When Kiri asked the next day--this text more clearly dated for September 15th to the current start of December, can we talk soon? i’d like to understand what made you so mad about me saying no, he received only two sentences: i’d like my ring back. meet before calculus.

But the latest message is from Brynna. Calum can tell from the date and it being in a gray bubble. sorry about the way i acted. you didn’t deserve that. There’s no real explanation about why Brynna acted the way she did. But perhaps the apology would be what Kiri needed to move on. Calum taps into the box to reply.

How do you feel about the apology? he asks.

i guess i’m relieved. at least she apologized? don’t know really.

Calum sighs as his fingers work over the keys. Is it because you still want to know why?

yeah, like, she apologized and i appreciate that. but it still doesn’t tell me why she freaked.

Calum taps the corner of the device to his forehead. He’s not sure what to say. Kiri would never really know why. It appears as if Brynna had enough change of heart to apologize for her actions, but not even to reveal what it was that made her so insecure about Kiri’s refusals. This is one of those hard lessons, Calum’s realizing, that he was telling Eve about. Kiri was going to have to learn to accept the fact that he would never know why. He’d only heal and be able to move on once he accepted that sometimes shitty things happen to good people. Sometimes they reason is never known.

“Thoughts?”

Calum snaps his his head up, taking in the sight of Māra in the red studded sleeves blazer that Eve mentioned earlier. It’s longer than he imagined it to be, but it fits well. “I like it,” he smiles. “Goes well with those earrings you just got.”

“Yeah, the black leather tassel ones. I see the vision,” Māra smiles. “Okay, next top,” she commands and Eve starts to step away but notices the falter of Calum’s smile.

“You okay?”

“Later, if that’s okay. It’s about what I told you last night. With Kiri.”

Eve nods. “Of course. Later. You need anything though in the meantime?”

“No, I’m good. Now you should go, Mar’s not going to wait too long.”

Eve grins. “We had to axe a few tops before the blazer. I’m crossing my fingers the sweaters are a hit.”

“May God be with you,” he laughs and Eve signs the cross before heading back.

Calum stares down at the messages with Kiri. I’m sorry she didn’t explain, son. Do you want to talk more when you get home?

yeah, i’d appreciate it, pops. thx.

Anytime, Kiri.

Māra proudly displays off a knitted turtleneck in yellow with a black and white gingham pattern on the front, jeans with barbed wire design up the entire body of them, and a black dress with ferns printed onto the design. Calum approves of all of them. The dress is full length to counterbalance his concerns about the spaghetti straps. Eve and Māra both defend that she can wear a long sleeve shirt under the dress to keep it more appropriate for winter and more modest. Māra is a fan of layering, as Calum notices. So he accepts the dress into his arms before they head to the register. Before he can get his cards out, though, Eve slips the bills to the cashier.

“I had it,” Calum laughs.

“Think of this as me pre-warning you about the grocery bill this week. Perhaps better to save the cash for that”

Calum can only grin. “What damage’s been done now?”

“Eggs,” Eve laughs. “So many eggs.” She takes the change back and Māra slips in to take the bag with a brilliant smile up to the cashier. Calum and Māra head back up to the foodcourt, considering Māra hadn’t gotten her lunch and was much too eager to the mall to think about food. Once Eve seems them to a table, she kisses Calum on the cheek. “Going to make a quick run to a store while you two eat.”

“Oh, where?” Māra questions.

“It’s just the Vitamin Shoppe,” Eve counters. “Bit boring, so I figured you two wouldn’t want to waste the time.”

Calum nods at the comment. “Be safe,” he whispers up to Eve.

“I always am.” He watches her though. Eve would have no reason for the vitamin store. However, she doesn’t turn to round the corner to make to the shop. She continues straight on behind Māra into one of the lingerie stores. Calum quickly looks back down to his tray. Oh, he knows the vitamins are code for. In all honesty, lingerie that was lace and delicate didn’t hold a candle much to the plain looking stuff. He’s garnered respect for simple and chic rather than the buckles and zippers.

But he won’t complain in the least about what Eve gets. He will not complain in the slightest. He works down a forkful of the coleslaw he ordered as his side before slipping his phone out from his jacket pocket. He swipes until he finds the text message thread with Eve. Lingerie is a hell of a vitamin.

It sits for about two minutes before Eve responds. Well, you know what the say. A chain and a whip a day keeps the doctor way.

Calum snorts at the joke and then puts his phone back. Māra and he finish up just as Eve slips out from the store. The bag is a sleek black with the logo written across it in gold. Māra definitely notices it is not the name of the vitamin store, but she only grins as she looks up to Eve. Māra is thankful though. There is at least enough decency not to call it out between them. Māra’s phone is a constant clack from the back seat as Calum and Eve share the front. The charms swing and click with the bumps and as she swipes away.

“I passed that English quiz, Dad,” Māra offers between the songs on the radio.

“That’s awesome, sweetpea. Seems like the extra ten times a day study is paying off.”

“Yeah, I’m not a fan of the fact that I have to add extra time in English. But you were right in the end. Just need to slow down when I’m annotating to really get it.”

Eve’s content from the passenger seat. When the conversation dies, the radio takes over and after a while, Māra will cut in with something else. Usually directed at Calum, but it’s okay. That’s her father and she would never want to cut in on that. They pull up to the house and Eve surveys to see if Kiri’s car is in the driveway. When it’s not, she relaxes a little. She can finally get more details. Māra grabs her bag from the backseat and as they all climb out she takes Eve’s hand gently. “I don’t think I said thank you earlier for coming today and for paying. I really appreciate your kindness, Eve.”

“You’re welcome, Māra. I’m honored you wanted to shopping with me and trusted me enough with it.”

They smile at each other and something like an agreement or understanding feels like it’s blossomed. “Off to my books,” Māra offers. It almost feels like a question, like she’s double checking it’s okay to leave the conversation.

Eve nods. “Happy studying.” She watches Māra stride all the way into the house. She realizes Māra has a key to the house too. Which of course makes sense.

Calum slides up next to Eve, her bag in his hand. “Can I take a peak?”

Eve laughs. “No, you can’t. But nice try.”

“Had to ask.”

Eve keeps calm enough that when they stride into the house she doesn’t feel the need to immediately ask about Kiri. She drops her bag off into the room and then joins Calum in the living room. He offers his side as a cuddle--feet already kicked up on the cushions. Eve finds all too easy to slide between Calum’s legs and rest her head on his chest. He runs his fingers into her hair, rubbing at her scalp.

“So I told you about Kiri and his stuff, right?”

Eve nods at Calum’s question. “Yes.”

“The girl texted him today. Apologized but didn’t really provide context for why she freaked. He and I are going to talk more when he gets home.”

“Did he say how he’s holding up?”

Calum gives a shrug. “He said he’s a little relieved that she apologized. But it’s eating him alive that he can’t get a straight answer. And I-I don’t know what to tell him. Feels like one of those shitty hard lessons that as a parent I feel like I should be able to soften, but in reality I can’t. It’s just a lesson that’s going to fucking hurt.”

“Wise man told me that we can only do our best when children are faced with those kind of lessons.”

“Yeah, he’s right. Damn bastard,” Calum snickers.

Eve looks up, cheek smushed still against Calum’s body. “You always manage to find the right words when you need, Calum. And even if they’re not perfect, I think the more important thing is that Kiri knows you’re there for him.”

“Thank you,” Calum returns, fingers stilling in her hair. “For always being willing to listen.”

“It’s the least I can do, Calum.”

The two lay on the sofa long enough in silence that Calum slips away into sleep. Eve senses how deep his breathing is before the snores start up. She smiles and waits for another ten minutes before she slowly pulls herself from Calum’s hold. He stirs just a little, head turning now to face the couch cushions, but he doesn’t wake. Eve takes her phone from the coffee table.

She goes back to her calls and taps on the number from this morning. The line connects and more heavy breathing, fills the line. Eve is as quiet as she can be as she rattles off the coordinates carrying herself into the hall bathroom. “Confirm the amount,” she commands for the second time today.

“550,” the voice heaves back. A bit of a growl curls up the last few syllables.

“Make scarce. Do not contact me again about this mission. ”

“Understood, my liege.”

Eve slips her phone back into her pocket and flushes the toilet though she didn’t use it. She runs the sink for about a minute, running her hands under the water. She shakes her hand free of the excess water before going for a paper towel. When she steps back out of the bathroom. Calum’s still curled up on the couch. Māra’s laugh comes from above Eve. Out here, no one will know about what Eve’s done.

She prays, though, as she settles back down on the couch, resting Calum’s feet into her lap that the apology is enough for Kiri. Eve couldn’t get more. She didn’t need to press to know that she wouldn’t get it. But maybe there’s a little good in the bad. For Kiri’s sake--Eve hopes it’s the truth.

***************************

I need some help and I can’t go to Dad. Are you free? Māra stares down at the text. Her cursor blinks, and blinks, and blinks. It’s all true. She does need advice. And she doesn’t feel comfortable enough to go to her Dad about it because she’d been the one to tell him not to ask Eve on her behalf. So here Māra is. But there’s something that feels a little bit like betrayal. She could so easily go to her mother before about these kinds of things. Her aunt was in a whole other country and most definitely wouldn’t see the text for a couple days. No doubt her aunt probably wouldn’t be able to make the trip on such short notice. And truth be told, Māra wants it to be Eve that goes with her. She pictures it now walking into the dance with Eve has her escort. The entire room would fall silent but Māra wouldn’t feel so left out. She wouldn’t need to feel pity and no one would need to pity her just because her mom had died. Because Māra would have Eve there to ward off any pity. Eve would make Māra feel safer than just with Calum alone.

Anyone else that Māra might ask might give her too much sympathy too. Sure it might be an honor that Māra trust them enough to ask to accompany her. But even that thought makes Māra’s stomach churn. She needs someone without the sympathetic gaze to help her with this. So the only other person Māra can think of is Eve. No doubt Eve may not see this text for a few days either. Eve seemed to disappear almost without warning. She’d be there at the house one day and then a few hours later, gone. Dad always said she had duties to see too. He never looked worried so it made Māra feel more confident that it wasn’t anything major. But it did happen a lot. What would happened if Māra asked and duties came up day of? Who would Māra turn to then? But it’s not helpful to think of such scenarios.

Eve did say that whenever Māra needed her, she could ask. Text--specifically. Eve said to text because she was more likely to see that and than a missed call. Eve can only say no to the request. But a yes would mean so much more.

“Oh, screw it. Just hit send,” Māra reprimands herself verbally.

The text lifts, the bar loading, and then settles. The green box stares back at Mara, I need some advice and I can’t go to Dad for help. Are you free?

Her phone swoons. I’m downstairs, and will be up in two minutes.

Oh, hi, welcome. Didn’t know you had finished up with your stuff.

Quick one--they’re a rarity.

Māra snorts at the addition of the smiley face. But she is glad that the response is pretty immediate. Another minutes goes by and the rumble up the stairs doesn’t sound like one person. Māra listens at her door, ear pressed to it to catch who else might be coming up the stairs. She assumes one of them is Eve. Cailean was already in his room, or so she thinks given he was a few minutes ago. There’s no telling where he might’ve migrated too. Kiri’s on Christmas break and had planned a trip to New Mexico for the the last week after the holidays right before classes resumed.

“I-I wanted to talk to you about something.”

Her dad--that’s who the second person is and though they’re keeping their volume down there’s no other noise to completely drown them out.

“About what?”

“It’s important but if Māra’s asking for you, it can wait.”

Māra continues to press into the closed door for Eve’s response. There’s something like a whisper and this time Māra can’t catch all of what is said. But the silence that follows stretches for a while. Maybe it’s more whispers. Māra strains and strains to listen, only she catches nothing. The stretch of silence is broken by a knock on the door. Māra jumps, a tiny screech leaving her as she backs away from the door. The door handle turns and before the door cracks fully open, Eve’s voice floats through wood. “You okay, Māra? Can I come in?”

“I’m okay,” Māra returns, one hand still clutching her chest. She should’ve backed away from the door the moment it went silent for longer than a second or two.

The door cracks open slightly and Eve slips in, before turning back to the hallway. “I’ll be downstairs once you two are done.”

Eve says nothing as she shuts the door close, though she does nod at Calum’s statement. Eve watches Māra settle onto the edge of her bed. Where Eve and Kira and even Cailean were on good terms, the three of them being able to jump in and out of conversations easily, Eve and Māra were still doing a dance. Māra was nice to Eve. When Eve was over, Māra offered the spot next to her on the couch or if she was getting a snack she’d asked if Eve wanted something. They had the one shopping trip they went one. It’s was fun. Eve was cool and always managed to uphold the rules that even Māra knew she couldn’t bend without making it seem like a big idea. She’d offer something like, Maybe we try to find something longer than this or I think the top needs a bit more coverage. What do you think? Māra always knew it was a no, but at least it was more a conversation.

But since then, Māra and Eve were still assessing boundaries. Māra would default to Calum if she needed anything. The exception being when Calum needed a root canal and Eve stepped in to drive him to and from the appointment. Then, when Calum had gone to try and sleep off some of the lidocaine, Māra leaned into Eve a bit more asking Eve if she could help Māra with assembling the last of her poster board for her science fair project.

Eve is happy to help, but she makes a rule to never force any interaction. She’ll ask or try to initiate but she never forces. This feels decidedly different. Māra wants Eve’s help with something before going to Calum.

“How was it?” Māra ask, tossing her phone up for a moment and then catching it. The keychain attached to her phone grips clacks in the air before clashing against the case as Māra catches it. “Should I call it work? How was work?”

“You can call it work. It is a job, basically. And it was fine. Nothing to report home about.”

“This--would we be home?”

“If you’re okay with it.”

Māra snorts just a little. “If Dad is literally following you around like a lost puppy is any indication, I think it’s safe to say, you can call this home.”

Eve leans into the door. “It does matter to me what you think too. You’ve built this place with your Dad and your Mom. I don’t get an automatic claim to anything just because Calum’s a lost puppy.”

Māra cringes a little hearing back her own words. “You can’t tell him I said that though. He’ll kill me.”

“Consider the secret safe.”

Māra can’t bring herself to get to the point, the reason why she’d asked Eve for help in the first place. It felt ridiculous to ask her something like that and the two of them really didn’t have much of a relationship besides a mutual understanding. Perhaps, before asking for something, Māra can get to know Eve more. Outside of the blunt and honest woman that she’d always presented. “What--what is it like? What you do?” she asks.

“Oh, well, it’s not fun. We don’t party that’s for sure. It’s necessary, I guess, is the best way to describe it.”

“Plain English, Eve. Please.”

Eve snorts, pushing off the front door a little and then wanders to the doors in front of the closet. She takes in the poster on the door, a band that Eve’s never heard of but keeps a mental note of should they surface up in town in the near future, before facing Māra. “It’s shit. Dealing with assholes who want to complain they don’t belong in Hell. Or you get the people proud to be there and they’re really the worst.”

“Sounds like high school--the worst,” Māra teases.

“Worse than high school,” Eve laughs.

“No way. High school’s awful.”

“Why? What happened?” Eve asks.

“It’s drama--pointless really. That’s what makes it so awful. None of it matters who’s screwing who or who’s dating who. But everytime I blink someone’s up in arms because of who their boyfriend is texting.”

“Tell me about it, if you want of course.” Eve doesn’t want to probe if Māra’s not going to give up more.

“It started really when Robyn started dating Morgan. Morgan’s always been a bit more…free-spirited. Let’s say.”

Eve nods that she understands and then slowly approaches the bed to settle down next to Māra. Māra goes on a five minute rant about Morgan’s reputation preceding her--a sophomore at the school. Eve learns that Robyn, who is a freshman like Māra, had known Morgan through a mutual friend that was outside of the group that Robyn and Māra are in. Due to Morgan’s reputation, the entire friend group told Robyn to spend more time getting to know Morgan before deciding to date her. It’s sound advice, but not advice that any fourteen year old would listen to in the end. Robyn has a late birthday, Māra explains. Where the rest of the friend group was turning fifteen, Robyn was still behind them. Which leads to Robyn hearing rumors about Morgan. Morgan vehemently denies kissing anyone else since Robyn and Morgan went official but the seeds of doubt had been planted.

Eve does her best to keep up, especially when it comes to a potential plan to see of Morgan would cheat. Eve wants to interject that maybe setting someone up isn’t the best way to go about finding out the truth, but refrains as Māra’s retelling continues. “The set up is stupid. Because even if something were to happen, it really wouldn’t be fair to Morgan. She’d be in there with other girls and who’s to say that one of them wouldn’t force herself on Morgan. It’s--can I swear in front of you?”

Eve nods. “Who am I going to tell?”

“My dad for starters.”

Eve withholds the obvious. Māra has sworn in front of her father before. This moment is about bonding more deeply. So Eve returns with, “What he doesn’t know won’t hurt him.”

Māra grins at the statement. “I like you. Anyways, it would be really fucked up to send Morgan in there with no one else. I told everyone to drop that idea and really, we have to take Morgan at her word. If she said she didn’t, then I believe she didn’t.”

“Do you believe the rumors about her reputation? It doesn’t sound like you do.”

Māra shrugs. “I mean, do I believe that Morgan’s willing to kiss and make out with a few people? Yeah, I do. She’s sweet but she knows what she wants and really isn’t afraid to go after it, you know? I don’t think that makes her a bad person.”

“So, why tell Robyn to take it slow?”

“I’ve spent only the last seven years with Robyn. I know her. She’ll go guts deep into something without considering the consequences. She’s also a bit of a romantic. And I get it, romance is nice. But she gets lost in it, you know? I didn’t want her to get hurt. Morgan is nice and I don’t think she’d cheat on Robyn. But Robyn’s a little gullible and she won’t think twice before believing something.”

“So you didn’t want Robyn to get hurt by jumping in too fast with Morgan because rumors would surface? Instead you wanted Robyn to like Morgan for who Morgan is and to be able to withstand the rumors?”

Māra points at Eve, a single white painted nail excitedly jutted out at Eve. “Exactly that! If Robyn had spent more time getting to know Morgan before, when rumors re-surfaced Robyn would know better.”

“You’re a good friend, you know?”

Heat rises on Māra’s face. She just tries her best to be a good person. It doesn’t always help that she’s quick to slice with her words. But she tries. “Thanks.”

“So, what did you need help with? Are you trying to console Robyn now?”

“Oh,” Māra got so caught up in relaying the drama to Eve she nearly forgot what she’d asked Eve up to the room for. She pauses at the edge of her bed a few inches from Eve. Māra picks lint that doesn’t exist off the comforter. “Robyn’s heart is broken, or so she says. I think once she talks with Morgan later it’ll be fine.”

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to rush you. I was quite invested in Robyn and Morgan. You can-you can continue.” Eve keeps still as Māra settles down.

Māra falls back into the mattress with a bounce. “Robyn hasn’t texted me back yet so I’m not sure what’s going on anymore. Well, for right now at least.”

“Keep me updated?” Eve asks. She wants to tap on Māra’s knee but she freezes instead and waits.

“You do that a lot,” Māra counters.

“Do what?”

“Just stay still. Like you’re afraid sudden movement is going to make you explode or something go bang. You’re still a lot.”

“The truth is I’m afraid a lot. More so now than ever,” Eve answers.

“Afraid?” Māra questions. What would the devil have to fear? Shouldn’t Eve fear nothing.

Eve shakes her head. “Not things I’d want you to worry about. I keep still because I try to remind myself there’s still time. But it’s time I’m most afraid of. It’s ironic don’t you think?”

“I think everyone is afraid of time,” Māra returns.

“What makes you scared of time?” Eve asks.

“Forgetting my mother. Growing older, getting married all without her. Then I’m scared of not knowing what I should be doing with my life anyway.”

“She--”

“Mom loves me. I know. Present tense. But she’s still not here, you know? She can love me and still not be here. Because she’s dead.”

Eve nods. “You’re right.”

This is the time to ask, really. If Māra’s going to ask Eve, it’s right now. She pushes up to sit on the bed, tucking her legs around herself. Would Eve think Māra is strange for such a request? But it’s something Māra needs to do now. She needs this, everyone else be damn. “There’s a dance,” Māra starts. “In two weeks. You know how there are father-daughter dances. This is an etiquette dance, a debutante ball really. It’s a big deal. I-I wasn’t going to go originally. But I think I do. For Mom, you know. She and I went every year.”

“I think she’d like you too.”

“Could you ask her?” Māra laughs after she asks. “I know she’s not with you. But I’d like to go. And I’d like to know if you’d come with us?”

“Us?” Eve questions.

“Dad is going to go, obviously. But it’s not the same with just him. There’s a mother-daughter dance and while Dad would fill in in a heartbeat, I’d like to not stand out so much, you know? I’d like you to be there too.”

Calum had mentioned the dance briefly to Eve. He’d been frantically trying to find a pocket square to match her dress color. He found one eventually, but it took four different suit stores to find it across L.A. Eve gently reaches for Māra’s knee, giving it a squeeze. “I’d love to accompany you.”

Māra grins, taking Eve’s hand into her own. “Thanks. And can I ask one more thing?”

“Of course.”

“I need help. There’s a dress from Mom I want to repurpose and rework. But I don’t know anything about sewing.”

Eve laughs. “I can help. I’ve learned a thing or two about sewing. Show me the dress and what you want.”

“There’s a sewing machine and stuff in Mom’s old craft room. I don’t think Dad’s got rid of anything in there yet,” Māra states, pushing herself off the bed. She opens one of the closet doors and yanks down a white dress. The more Eve takes it in, the more she realizes it might’ve been a wedding dress. “It’s Mom’s reception dress. Dad’s got the wedding dress I think. Said I couldn’t have it just yet to mutilate it.”

The spaghetti strap dress with a full length skirt and lace detailing isn’t much to work with, but Māra details how she wants to shorten it just a little to make it midi length and if she could maybe add illusion back, but a second set of sleeves that hang lower on her shoulder. It’ll still be a classy silhouette but it’s bring the look from wedding formal just to formal.

Māra leads the charge from her room downstairs. Eve follows, gown in her arms. The back is low when Māra tries it on, and it’s a little too big in some areas so Eve knows she’s got to take the bust and waist in too. It’s a lot of work to do in just two weeks. But a plus is that Eve doesn’t need to sleep. As Eve finds the tape measure and a notebook to take the measurements in, she does her best not to think about the presence she can feel pressing into the back of her. Dead people do not haunt her like they did Death, but Eve still knows when someone’s spirit lingers. Kelsie is in every corner of the room. Eve prays her presence does not feel like an intrusion.

“Where did you learn to sew?” Māra asks. “Dad said you were a dance instructor when you two first met.”

“I was,” Eve returns, pinning the spot on how much length she needs to take off. “I was a seamstress before that. And before that I was a lawyer.”

“A lawyer?”

“Decades ago. Before any of you, Calum included, were born.”

“Are they like front jobs?”

“In a way, yes. They keep me Earth side for legitimate reasons when I need them. I could easily just lie and manipulate my way through but it makes things less normal. When I first encounter people they don’t know who I am. I have to have a reason to stick around.”

“Other than love?”

“Other than love,” Eve agrees.

“What’s your cover story now? So I know how to answer that at the dance,” Māra covers.

“Don’t have one now. Didn’t think I’d need one for at least about thirty years. Calum’s getting up there, but he still has a good stretch in him. If it helps, you can tell them I’m retired.”

“You won’t look it.” Māra doesn’t mean it maliciously. It’s just the truth. Eve hardly looks like she’s pushed out of her twenties. And while she knew her father and Eve had years of history, the rest of the world would see a woman forty years her dad’s junior appearance wise. Māra worries for a brief moment that someone might say something. How would Eve react? Hell, how would Māra react?

“I’ll never look old enough.”

Māra hums at the response. It’s true. Eve looked the same as she did in the photographs Māra had discovered back when her mother first died. The moment Eve walked in through the door it was like Eve had been plucked out of the thirty year old photograph and preserved just now for the moment. There’s no way Eve wasn’t mystical.

“I’m sorry for calling you a snake,” Māra returns to the still air.

Eve’s busy now pinning and pinching the extra fabric around Māra’s waist to get it to sit right. “You weren’t technically wrong.”

The flick of Eve’s tongue makes Māra laugh just a little. It’s nice to see Eve being comfortable around them. Though it was definitely strange the first few times she’d shown up hiding away her features. She still does, Māra notices. Most of the time Eve presents her brown eyes and normal tongue. But there’s been the occasional fright where she’s had to set off from their place and in the rush, they’ve seen the purple irises and forked tongue.

“Still, I’m sorry.”

Eve nods, hands hovering over the bust. “Apology accepted. Now I do have to work in the bust area. You okay with me continuing with you still in the dress or do you just want to pass along your bra size and I’ll work with that.”

“I’m okay for you to keep pinning,” Māra returns, staring straight at the wall. She does glance over to Eve who nods in her gaze.

“Thank you. So, what color should I wear, Māra? I’d hate to clash.”

“Dad’s wearing black. I think you should wear what you want, really.”

“You sure? What if I showed up wearing bright red?” Eve snorts. “That would be a sight.”

“It would look nice.”

“If I’m honest, I don’t own much outside of gray and black.”

“Well, besides your wedding dress.”

Eve’s laughter is all through her nose. She’d worn a white fit and flare dress, lace floral details in the bodice that gave way to a satin skirt and a matching white cape. It felt right when Eve wore it for the wedding, but it’d been waiting since then for use. After a few decades, she’d slip it into someone’s donation bin and let it take on a new life like she did with the others. But now, the idea swirls at the base of Eve’s skull before flittering over her lips in an fleeting exhale, “Perhaps I should dye it black now.”

“I’ll help,” Māra grins.

“I’ll give a good trim too. It’s too long now I think.”

“Definitely,” Māra nods. “You think you can do all that in just two weeks though?”

Eve brings the mirror from the corner close to Māra. “I don’t sleep. What do you think? Good length and fit?”

The dress does fit it a bit tighter without it being scandalous. The length hits about four or five inches from her ankles. Though Māra knows the technical rules, she was one of the older girls helping to bring in the latest round of girls into the debutante and then also use this as her last hurrah before she aged out completely out. But the color and length are close enough that Māra’s willing to risk it. Without the excess fabric, Māra can wear her heels without issue and if they kick her out for an extra few inches, then they just kick her out. “I look hot.”

The two women laugh and Eve takes it as a good sign. She notes how much she needs to take up and in for each section and then lets Mara dress back in her normal clothes. “Give me a week and then you can try it on again to see if it fits right.”

Māra nods and then steps in closer to the older woman. She slips her arms around Eve’s waist in a hug. “Thanks, Eve.”

Though for a moment Eve freezes, she lets herself relax enough to hug Māra back. It’s not strange. Eve hoped this moment would come. It’s the fear again. Eve doesn’t want to fuck it all up with Māra. But if the hug is any indication, perhaps she’d been doing better than she realized. “You’re welcome, sweetheart.”

“Are you serious about the wedding dress? I think it would be worth hemming and dying it.”

“I’d need help getting the length right,” Eve offers, letting Māra pull back out of her hold just a little. The young girl grins up at Eve and Eve knows. “But I think I know the perfect assistant.”

“I don’t think we should show Dad--your dress I mean. It should be a secret. It would kill him, but worth it in the end.”

“I like secrets,” Eve laughs. “When you try on your dress, I’ll bring mine so we can discuss what to do.”

Eve was still holding the secret about Kiri. And as much as Eve didn’t want to keep that from Calum, she knew what she did was wrong. She’d meddled. She’s gotten involved and even in the end, it still hadn’t helped much. He and Calum talked later that same day. When Calum came back that night to the room, before Eve left to handle business, she could clearly see the distress etched into his face. Kiri walked with a bit of a slump for a few days. Eve knows natural consequences occur for every decision. If the chips fell down on her about it, she could withstand it.

Māra’s laugh brings Eve back to the present. “Sounds perfect. Thanks again for agreeing to this. The dress and attending, it means a lot.”

Eve tightens her hold briefly back around Māra wanting nothing more than to savor the moment. “Of course, Māra.”

Eve slips out of the room to let Māra change back with some privacy and when she’s out in the hallway, Calum’s leaning against the wall. His arms are folded over his chest. “Is Māra still in there?” he asks.

Eve nods. His look is stern and she knows. This moment here are the chips falling. This was the important thing he wanted to talk to her about. A few weeks later and her choices caught up with her. “Yes, she is,” Eve answers.

“Did she ask you to join us for the dance?”

“She did. I accepted.”

“Thank you,” Calum returns with a nod. “She’s been nervous to ask.” His tone is even, but his jaw is set hard. Eve’s best bet is just to answer whatever questions that Calum has. This is not the time for her to joke. When it came to his children, Calum is not the type to take anything severely lightly. Eve knows she’s going to have to come clean instantly.

The door behind Eve creaks. The sound alone breaks both Calum and Eve out of their stare down. Eve steps away from the door, turning to grin at Māra. “One week,” Eve reminds her.

“It’s a date. Don’t forget the other stuff,” Māra returns to Eve.

“I wouldn’t dare forget it.”

Māra slips away, a grin painting her face. Eve and Calum both wait for her to fully exit the hallway before they slip into the room wordlessly together. Eve’s already gotten into the habit of keeping any quarrels the two of them have away from the kids if they can.

“What did you do?” Calum asks. He’s past the moment of patience and formalities. The thought that Eve might’ve been potentially involved scratched at his brain a couple days after Kiri got the text. But then it faded as they prepared for the holidays. It had to fade away because between coordinating his mother’s arrival into town, getting all the presents wrapped, and helping Kiri get his trip to New Mexico finalized, there was no time for the half crocked idea to fester. But now his mother’s gone, Kiri’s texted him that he’s safely arrived in New Mexico with his friends. Now, there’s plenty of time to think.

Calum’s gut knows though. As he thought about the timing of it all and the way Kiri described Brynna--her apology just didn’t add up. Before Eve’s lip curl, Calum’s next sentence is already falling from his throat. “That girl was never going to say anything. Then the day after I mentioned it to you, she came back with an apology. I couldn’t worry about it before. Too much was happening. But now, I've been thinking and I need to know. What did you do?”

“I had someone speak with her,” Eve returns. It’s as simple as that. There’s no beating around the bush. Eve just answers the question. She did. She only had someone speak with her--in her dreams. There would be no way to prove anything. What would Brynna say? She was met with her literal demons in her dreams and had a change of heart. What would it sound like? Just a girl who might’ve seen the errors of her way.

But not to Calum--clearly.

Calum knows better though. Even if it’s a shock that Eve’s not playing some joke or using a riddle, there’s still something underneath her words. “Speak with her or scare the shit of her. I know you, Eve. You don’t play fair or nice.”

“They sound the same to me.”

Calum huffs, pacing the length of the room. There’s the old Eve. Or maybe the truth is Eve would always be who she was. There was nothing new or old about it. It is just Eve. Calum spins approaching Eve. She stands so still and sometimes Calum worries when she freezes like this she’s preparing for something awful. She never flinches away though. Calum’s always cognizant to give her a couple feet in these kinds of situations. For a moment, his heart pangs in his chest that she’s prepared for something, someone to hit her. But then he thinks about Kiri and his brain clicks back onto the track he needed it on.

“Why did you do it?” Calum questions. Intent didn’t always negate the effect. Eve’s intention wouldn’t undo the fact that she’d interfered. Her intentions wouldn’t undo the fact that it opened a wound for Kiri that had potentially been scabbing over. But her intentions would settle Calum’s nerves. He’d know more about what Eve was hoping to accomplish.

“I thought it would help give Kiri closure.”

“Did it seem like it worked?”

“Not in the slightest,” Eve returns. It’s honest. Calum catches the blinks. Eve’s trying to keep her emotions at bay. He can’t tell if it’s anger, or tears from remorse. But something about the way things worked out seems to be striking a cord in Eve.

“Do you regret it? Whatever you did.” He won’t ever know and maybe it’s for the best that he doesn’t know. Then he doesn’t have to worry about almost spilling it to Kiri.

“I regret that it hurt Kiri further. I don’t know if I feel remorse for thinking it would work.”

Another truly honest Eve sentiment. Always sorry for the damage, not always sorry for the attempt. Calum doesn’t fault her. He’d briefly considered trying to find this girl himself, having words with her or her parents maybe. But it’s not his life that must be lived. It’s Kiri’s life. Anything they did would impact him. Calum gets it. And now Eve’s learned the hard way.

“We cannot tell Kiri about this. He cannot find out you meddled.”

“I’ll take it to my grave,” Eve promises. Whatever her grave looks like, whatever it means for Eve to take something into her death.

Calum exhales. She is good at keeping secrets. She never looked like she was hiding something. But the timing of it all was just too suspicious for Calum. He takes her hands into his, but Eve gently slips them back to her side. Calum doesn’t fight her. “Please don’t meddle in my kids' lives anymore, okay? Please don’t do it again. I won’t ask again. So if you promise it right now, it is for the rest of their natural lives. Understood? I don’t care if they’re 82. Please do not meddle in their lives.”

“Understood,” Eve whispers. “I really am sorry it hurt Kiri more. I never intended for that.” Her voice cracks a little and Calum sees it. How much Eve hadn’t meant to make things worse. Sometimes natural consequences are the best teacher.

“You wanted to help,” Calum concedes. “But talk to me first. When it comes to my children, please talk to me first before you do anything. Unless it’s something to save them. You can be so literal sometimes and I have to cover my ass.”

Eve snorts at the jab and uses the back of her hands to wipe at her cheeks. “I will.”

Calum opens his arms, the question of a hug lingering in the gap. Eve steps into his chest. He imagined this conversation to be more like pulling teeth. Eve would make a joke or give some sort of riddle response to be sarcastic. He’d tried to remind himself Eve was who she was, and her tactics weren’t always the most conventional. But Eve stripped down her walls. She’d been honest without too much sarcasm. “They sound the same to me,” he snorts in a taunt. “Smartass.”

“Don’t ask questions you don’t really want the answer to with me.”

“You used to not answer. I used to have to ask and call you out for being a stubborn ass in order to get an answer.”

“Now when you do ask, you get truth. Ain’t it unpleasant.”

Calum inhales, nose filling with the scent of Eve’s shampoo. “It’s growth for you. Even if it’s a pain in my ass.”

“That’s my job.”

“You weren’t ever going to say anything, were you?”

“I know you wouldn’t be a fan of my methods,” Eve returns.

“You were right.” Calum pulls back, taking her face into his palms. “Did you mean it, when you promised about staying out of their lives like this?”

“I meant it when I promised, Calum.” Eve knows Calum needs the reassurance so she’s happy to supply. “Swear it on with my life. Let the Big Guy strike my dead.”

Both of them are silent--waiting. Nothing comes. No hiss of pain from Eve. No flash of lightning. Calum exhales. “Okay, okay. No more meddling for you.”

Eve nods. “No more meddling in your kids’ lives.” Calum can’t help the laugh. Of course Eve would be quite specific about the term of her promise. But he wouldn’t expect anything else.

**********************

Calum’s knocked, figuratively but also a little literally, on his ass when he calls up the stairs to get Eve and Māra to descend and both of them are already standing at the top of the stairs. Eve gives Māra’s curls one more quick swipe through with her fingers. But he’s more taken aback by the tight black dress Eve’s in. The see-through cape on her shoulders shows off how tight the skirt of the dress is. It stops about three inches or so from her ankles. But it hides very little of her figure. Not that Calum ever thinks Eve needs to hide. He’s just gotten so used to her looser clothes. Still flattering, but not as tight. There’s something like lace he thinks in the details of the dress, but he can’t quite tell from this distance. Calum has to tear his gaze away lest he have another situation to deal with at the ball in and of itself.

He clears his throat, head dropping to handle the sight he just took in of Eve’s brown skin in the black dress, how the material hugs her curves. His fingertips tingle just a little with the arousal.

“Calum, if you shout once more for us, you and I will have a problem,” Eve returns with a grin. “We needed to be done by 7:30 to make it on time. What time is it again?”

Calum glances down at his watch. “Seven thirty on the dot.”

“Exactly,” she faces him now from the top of the steps.

He catches the lace flowers now on the front of the dress. The cape around her shoulder has flowers too. He’d know that dress anywhere. He’d know it in a heartbeat. Her wedding dress. It’s not as long or flowy as it was when she wore it originally. But there it is with new life in front of his eyes. Calum knows his mouth is agape but he can hear the giggles. “I-sorry,” he starts.

“I think you’ll catch flies, Dad, with your mouth hanging like that.”

Calum brings his gaze over to Māra dawned in Kelsie’s reworked reception dress. There’s a second set of sleeves that have been added, and some of the length taken up. But Māra’s covered to her neck is lace. He can tell by the applique lace detailing that sits higher than the original neckline. But she still looks gorgeous. She looks so grown up, much more than he’s used to seeing.

“I think the two of you have officially sent me to an early grave,” Calum breathes out. He clutches his chest as he ascends the stairs. When he gets to the top he gently twirls Māra to a full view. “You look beautiful, sweetpea.”

“Thanks, Dad. Do you think we did Mom’s dress justice?”

Calum nods. His throat seized for a moment. The tears are going to fall. He’s not going to be able to stop it either. “Hands down, sweetpea. There is no doubt in my mind that Kelsie would be so incredibly proud to see you in her dress.”

“Dadm if you cry I’m going to cry,” Māra starts. Her voice wavers too. “And then I’m going to ruin my makeup.”

Calum exhales and it’s shaky. “I think you need to prepare for your mascara to run.”

He tries to do what he can to snuck back his tears. But he can’t. The tears slip down Calum’s cheeks and Māra’s tears are falling too. Eve hands them both tissues before they embrace each other. Calum wasn’t sure why Māra had snatched the dress when she did. He assumed it was maybe a desire to keep some part of Kelsie alive. So he never asked her directly. But now that he’s watching Māra come into her own and see how deeply she wants to honor her mother in the process, it overwhelms Calum.

They embrace for a long while, even Calum knows it’s too long. But he doesn’t care. When they separate, he checks over Māra’s face. “Oh, no mascara that ran,” he reports. “A good sign.”

“Waterproof, sweetheart. It’s not going anywhere,” Eve laughs when Māra looks back to Eve.

“You knew?” Māra asks.

“Sure did. Was married to your father for seven years. I know he cries at everything,” Eve laughs.

“He does, doesn't he?”

Once Eve is able to patch up Māra’s makeup, they descend down the steps. Eve does snap some candids but Māra’s insistent that they get any other photos while at the ball itself. It’s not a far trek to the truck once downstairs, but Eve helps with Māra’s dress and gets her safely inside. Calum starts to help Eve but he pushes back on the passenger door. “Your wedding dress?” Calum questions. He still can’t believe he’s seeing it again. Even like this. He can’t fathom that he’d be lucky enough to see it twice in his lifetime.

It doesn’t sound like a bad question. There’s no malice. He just sounds breathless at the prospect. “Too much?” Eve questions.

Calum shakes his head. “No, no. I’m just floored. It looks fucking incredible. You look, God. I don’t have the words for how amazing you look.”

Eve grins kissing at Calum’s freshly shaven cheek. “Thank you. Mar’s idea.”

“I’m raising a genius,” he laughs, cracking open the passenger door.

Eve climbs in easily and he catches sight now of the clear heels she’s dawning, rhinestones scattered over the pointed toes. It shows off the dark blue toenail polish. As much as Calum loves this outfit on Eve, he daydreams on the drive over peeling her out of it. He can keep the daydreams in check the second he arrives at the avenue because Calum realizes that he is wildly out of place here. Kelsie was usually the one that handled this stuff. She took Māra to the classes, and balls. He always had emotional support on lock to reassure Māra that she always looked brilliant in her dress, but it was Kelsie’s role to partake of this world. She understood the rules. Calum definitely did not.

He’s not sure if Eve knows better than him. Calum probably should’ve asked if she did. Part of it was an assumption. Eve would have to know more than he did. He was banking on it and now as he’s walking arm in arm with Māra, he glances over to Eve to see if he’s alone in his floundering. Eve looks regal, walking every so slightly ahead of them to get the door. There’s nothing on her face that makes him think she’s totally lost. Either it was a good sign or it was a massive fuck up. Time would surely reveal which one it is.

At the entrance there is a line of girls and their mothers. They crowd seemingly first at the desk to check in and then at the photographers line at the opposite end of the entryway. Māra reaches for Eve’s elbow and at the contact, Eve extends it without question. Calum catches the way Eve squeezes Māra’s hand just a little as they approach. It’s easy enough to check in--name, number of guests to confirm, and then she’s given the table she’ll be seated at rattled off by a father who looks just as haggard as Calum is sure to feel at the end of all this.

“Photos first, if that’s okay. While we still look put together.”

Neither Eve nor Calum object to Māra’s question. They continue on and join the line of people waiting for their turn with the photographer. The line is shortening, which is a good thing. Perhaps the few minutes they got sidetracked at home served them well in the long run. “Do you want photos with just your Dad?” Eve asks once they settled into the line.

Calum hears what she’s really asking: Do you want photos without me? He doesn’t fault the question. If the tables were turned, he’d be asking the same.

Māra shakes her head. “I’d like a group shot of all three of us. Then one with just dad and then one with just you.”

“Sounds good,” Eve smiles. She can feel the quiver in her own lip as Māra holds a little tighter to her.

“Oh my god, Māra!” A younger girl squeals as she steps out of the auditorium. She approaches as fast as she can in her heels. Eve and Calum take a step back as the two girls embrace.

“Hi, Vee,” Māra laughs, embracing the girl tightly.

“You look AH-MAZING. Seriously--where did you get the dress??

“It’s-it’s my mom’s old dress. Redesigned it a little. Love the eye makeup by the way. Eve,” Māra pauses and turns to look at Eve. “Eve helped me with the dress. She literally did everything.”

Eve’s wave is tiny, but her head nod is more noticeable. “Hi, Vee.”

“Oh, you’re Eve. You’re, like, hot,” Vee laughs. “Love the black and cape moment.”

“Th-thanks.” Eve’s not sure what she’s supposed to say in response. She’s not sure if it’s code for Eve looks two decades younger than the other mother’s here or if it’s just a compliment.

The two girls fall into an easy cadence with promises to find each other inside. They’re sitting a table way from each other which doesn’t seem to worry them at all. Perhaps all the adults already understand that the children are going to rearrange their seats to be closer together unless otherwise needed.

They move up the line as another mother and daughter exit the space in front of the backdrop. Eve stays a little behind Māra and Calum when they move, but Māra reaches back. There’s something in her gaze that Eve catches. Maybe it’s just how Māra widens her eyes just a little and then settles when she realizes Eve hasn’t gone far.

“Force of habit,” Eve whispers and then slips in next to Māra.

“Just didn’t want you to disappear on me.”

Eve shakes her head. “No, I won’t disappear on you.”

The line continues to move swiftly and before they realize, it’s Māra who steps up. She settles into the middle, Eve on her left and Calum on her left. “Three poses?” The photographer asks.

“Four,” Māra corrects. “Group, two duos, one single.”

“Sounds good. Group first. Squeeze in tight,” she directs waving Calum to slide in a bit more. “Perfect. Big smiles, in one, two, three.”

The light flashes from above and Eve prays she didn’t blink. Calum gets a photo with Māra first, then he steps back to allow Eve to step into frame. Māra smiles as Eve closes the three foot gap she created to make sure she wasn’t in frame. “Okay?” Eve asks.

Māra nods. “Yeah.”

“Specific pose?”

Māra laughs. “Eve just stand here, it’s okay.”

“I have to make sure,” Eve giggles before she rests a hand gingerly around Māra’s waist. They both turn back to the photographer, who counts them down again. It’s another flash and then Eve shuffles over to Calum while Māra gets her solo pose.

“A set of 5x7 digital prints will be available at the next meeting,” the photographer states. There’s no wait for confirmation. Just waving on the next set of people. Māra leads the both of them back into the auditorium. The dance floor has been clearly marked by the DJ booth and a seat of tables. It’s rectangular and empty, but that doesn’t seem to stop the girls from gathering all around their tables.

The air feels stuffy in here, but they continue on, finding the table marked with an 18. The entire time Eve walks next to Māra she spies the heads that turn. There it is--the gossip. There is a chance that it’s just a surprise about Māra given the loss of her mother. But when a mother looks away quickly after catching eyes with Eve, Eve knows that just behind that shock with Māra is the whispers about her appearance. But Eve continues on because Māra asked her to be here and Eve would not back out of it just because of some looks.

Their table is empty but it’s clear where others may be joining them. Māra just gets her phone from Calum before someone else calls out her name. Māra spins and spots Vee and two other girls walking behind her. They hike up their dresses as they walk around the chairs. “Someone got caught trying to spike the punch,” Vee laughs before she’s even closed the distance.

“What?” Māra returns. “There’s like parents literally everywhere.”

“Maybe it was a parent,” a shorter girl theorizes. “I think I might need a drink to survive this thing.”

Calum and Eve smile to themselves before they settle down at the table. The girls huddle together, voices harmonizing at moments with their laughter. “Maybe we should’ve snuck some flasks inside,” Calum jokes.

“Can you keep up?” Eve returns.

“I’m not that old.”

“You-you can go mingle,” Eve returns. She’s the one out of place.

Calum grimaces a little. “This was Kelsie’s scene. I’m not even sure anyone would remember me.”

“Oh, it’s so good to see you, Māra. I’m glad you came out tonight.”

Calum and Eve turn to the exclamation to see a mother whose approached the group. Calum leans in, whispering into Eve’s ear. “Barbara-- the the last I heard of her, she’s the debutante’s Queen Bee. No one really likes her. Her daughter hasn’t made an appearance yet. Her family’s got money in this I think. Or founded this. I can’t remember exactly.”

Calum squeezes Eve’s hand and she turns back to face Calum. He reaches for the empty glass in front of his place setting. “Can you spot the peach ball of tulle coming in from the left?”

Eve slowly glances up from her place card to take in the dancefloor and spots the hurried steps and a blur of pink from her right. Eve doesn’t move her head, just lets her eyes drift as far as they can before turning them to center. “Moving like lightning?” Eve questions

“Barbara’s right hand--Julie. They’re more often enemies than friends from what Kelsie told me. But they plan the ball together each year.”

“Hmm,” Eve returns, mouth turning down into almost a frown before bouncing back into a neutral line. “Maybe Julie’s the one who snuck in the booze.”

“If I had to guess, it might’ve been Patrick. He’s Barbara’s husband. He doesn’t do anything but show up under the guise of protection and then drinks himself into a slumber an hour into the festivities.”

Eve grins looking up to Calum. His gaze has settled behind her, no double keeping tabs on Māra. “For someone who said this wasn’t their scene. You seem to know a lot.”

“Oh,” Calum laughs. “I love the drama. My favorite part of these things were picking Kelsie and Māra up and hearing all the gossip. Last year, someone didn’t keep their daughter’s dress on theme and was nearly refused at the door.”

“So parents don’t have a dress code?”

Calum looks back to Eve. “I don’t think technically they do. The kids who attend do”

“I assume if Barbara’s got anything to say it might be very frowned upon to dress in dark colors.”

“Eve, you look amazing.” He wonders if Eve’s bringing this up because she’s worried. She wouldn’t have known and he didn’t really have a full mind to double check either. With everything else, he didn’t think it would matter what Eve wore.

Eve shakes her head, turning back. Barbara’s passed on, approaching another group of girls who have huddled together. She passes by their time. “Nice to see you again, Calum. Thanks for bringing Māra back again this year,” she smiles and then continues right now. There’s not even a smile and nod in Eve’s direction.

Eve raises her brows as the blatant dismissal of her presence. Calum takes Eve’s hand into his. The hold tightens and Eve knows what Calum is begging her: let it go. Please let it go. “I smell a rat,” Eve hisses.

“Baby, please,” Calum starts. Eve smells something else too. She smells trouble in the water. Eve hopes Barbara enjoys the flattering now. Eve will not be ignored. As petty as it is, she wouldn’t stand for such blatant disrespect. Barbara continues on to make some rounds and then lands at the table with finger foods and drinks. Eve squeezes at Calum’s hand, and then pushes up from the table.

“Punch?” she asks Calum. Eve doesn’t really wait for a response before heading towards the table with the finger foods and the drinks. This could all fall apart if Calum gets up and follows her. Maybe it should all fall apart. But Eve continues on towards the table. “Lovely event,” Eve returns, grabbing two cups.

Barbara turns, smiling as she does. “Thank you. I put blood, sweat, and tears each year to make this a lovely event for the girls.”

“Oh, so it’s all you?” Eve questions. The first cup fills and she sets it down before grabbing the second.

“Yes, yes, a lot of hard work.”

“I hope it continues to pay off each year for you.”

“You-you have to be new around here.” Barbara narrows her gaze just a little. It looks like she might be trying to assess who Eve might be here with, but Eve knows differently. She’s a scrutinizing gaze rooted a little in displeasure. Eve is a beacon in the sea of white and pinks in black. She is clearly disturbing the status quo.

“Māra, Calum’s daughter. She asked me to be her escort.”

“Oh,” Barbara’s face falls into the perfect picture of sympathy. “Oh, it’s quite sad. Isn’t it? I’m glad she has you though--family is so important in these times. It’s nice when families can rally together. And excuse me, for being rude and prying. It’s just, well,” Barbara gives a tiny grimace decorated around a smile as if that alone will excuse what she’s about to ask. “Māra’s only mentioned having one aunt before. So I mean imagine my confusion when you show up.”

Eve sets the ladle back into the bowl. “Oh, silly me. Māra only has the one aunt on her dad’s side. His sister is a sweetheart but couldn’t make the flight from the UK in time. Excited to see what the rest of the night brings from such excellent ball planning,” Eve returns, plastering a smile on her face. She picks up the drinks and gives a tiny wave from her free fingers before turning back in the direction of the table. Once Eve is six feet or so from the drink table, she drips the fake smile, “Fake bitch.”

Calum’s eyes are zeroed in as she approaches. Māra’s returned to their table and Eve sets a drink down in front of them. “See you met Mrs. Dunkins,” Māra smirks.

“She’s a big personality,” Eve returns.

“Do I need to be worried?” Calum asks.

“Oh, I just introduced myself since she left so fast from our table. Good first impressions,” Eve smiles.

“Your fake smile is good,” Māra giggles into her cup of punch. “You left that table like you could’ve murked her. Thanks for the punch.”

“You’re welcome, Māra.” Eve doesn’t say that she wanted to give Barbara more than just a heart attack. But perhaps the revelation she’d dropped would be enough. A few moments later someone taps at the microphone. The order of the night is read off--a fully catered meal will come after a few speeches. An intermission will be briefly held which will bleed into some dancing. Dancing will be free for everyone first and then the mother-daughter dance will come halfway through. It feels like a full night.

And it would quicker to go if not for the fact that almost every mother in the place stops at their table. It’s so good to see you marries in with Oh, I love that you’re here. Going to dance with Dad? and that collides in with If you want me to dance with you, Māra during the mother-daughter dance just let me know. You know where to find me. The sentiments are all meant to be pure but each person pours it one after another it starts to feel like cement. It’s sealing up Māra’s throat. By the time she gets her chicken and rice with asparagus on the side, she thinks she might choke just at the sight of the food.

How will Māra survive with every pitiful stare pinned to her? Can this much sympathy kill a person? Māra smiles at every passing comment because what is she supposed to say? Is she supposed to tell them she’s starting to regret her choice? Is Māra supposed to just nod and give them platitudes like they are giving her? It feels much too transactional. Māra’s starting to second guess how to be human herself. Māra excuses herself to the bathroom, lifting the skirt of her dress just a little to give her a longer stride. She falls into the doors and the brightlight of the hall.

She finds the bathroom and falls into the sink. Her reflection is watery. Tears. Those are tears. “You’re okay,” she whispers to herself. “You’re okay. They’re just being nice.”

Māra wishes they weren’t being nice. She wishes they’d ignore her. She wishes she could disappear. How did Eve do it? How did she handle the stares? Māra waves in front of a paper towel dispenser and gets a wad before carefully dabbing the rough materials under her eyes. She can do it. Eve does it. Eve keeps her head high when she walked into that room. When Eve approached Mrs. Dunkins, she never dropped her head. Her mother always knew just how to avoid the feathers that could be so easily ruffled. Eve ruffled them. What would Māra do? Would Māra be able to placate the rest of evening? Would she cause a scene?

“You’re not Eve. You’re not your mother,” Māra exhales. She’s neither one of those women. But those are all the women she knows to replicate.

Eve keeps her eyes on the doors. Māra’s plate is covered, still waiting for her even though the rest of them have been taken to the kitchen. Eve insisted on keeping it just in case Māra still wanted more. The music is rattling around them, lights low. But Eve keeps her eyes trained on the doors for Māra to come back through them.

“Do you think she’s okay?” Eve asks.

“I-I don’t know. But I’m getting nervous too,” he admits.

“Don’t let them take her plate,” Eve directs to Calum. “I’ll find her.”

The high lights hurt for just a moment and then Eve adjusts her pupils and the amount of pain reduces rapidly. Eve can see where they checked in, the photo station. And then just to the right of the photo’s backdrop and across from the check in tables are the bathroom. Eve carries herself to the doors. The entrance feeds to a corner and when Eve rounds it, she spots Māra leaning against the sinks. Her sniffles echo off the tiles.

“Mar?” Eve states quietly.

“I’m okay,” Māra returns. “I just--they kept asking me about that stupid fucking dance. It’s one dance. My mother’s dead. But I don’t, I don’t need all the sympathy. It’s too much.”

Eve’s heels click as crosses to Māra. She’s gentle as she takes hold of Māra’s elbow. “Sweetheart, fuck them. Fuck every single one of them. If you want to dance, if you don��t want to dance, fuck ‘em.”

“Mom would’ve said they were just being nice.”

“And Kelsie would’ve been right. And I would’ve been right too. They are being nice. But fuck them because they don’t know what it feels like to have that much attention. They’re trying to show they care. But fuck them because they’re also expressing that kind sentiment to prove how nice they are and how much they do care. None of them called you. None of them dried your tears. Your dad did. You dried your own tears. But not them. Sure, they want to be nice. But also fuck them and niceties too sometimes.”

“That’s not very nice.”

“I’m not,” Eve answers to the question underneath. “So fuck me too.”

Māra snorts. Eve takes Māra’s hand now. “I-I can’t leave without trying.”

“I won’t leave your side,” Eve promises.

Māra’s grip is tight around Eve’s palm. “You won’t let go?”

“Wouldn’t dream of it.”

Eve is careful to clean what she can of Māra’s tears and they return to the auditorium hand in hand. The lights have lifted just a little. Where it’s clear the bodies have been swaying freely they slow. “Mothers, find your daughters. We have two minutes till dance time,” the DJ calls out.

The entire room shifts. Daughters turning from the groups. Mother’s pushing out of their chairs. Eve squeezes as Māra’s hand and they continue on towards the dancefloor. She prays--to God himself--that he does interrupt this moment. She’d ignore it. This would be a first but she would do it for Māra. They breach the dance floor, the first mother-daughter duo to break the seal. Eve looks to Māra and when Māra looks back, she nods. “You’re okay,” Eve whispers.

“Thirty seconds to dance,” the DJ calls back out.

The entire floor floods at the warning. Māra spins to face Eve. They didn’t practice this. Māra and her mother would practice every year before the dance. But not her and Eve. Eve doesn’t seem to hesitate like Māra does. She steps in closer. Māra’s not sure where to put her hands. She always held her mother’s waist, slip her head onto her mother’s shoulder. Could she do the same with Eve? They start initially with a bit of distance. Arms looped around shoulders, they take it slow. It’s awkward. As Māra thinks too much about where her feet are and what this might look like to the outside, she feels hot under the lights.

Māra, taking in the sight of how deep the pocket around them, trips a little. Eve’s there, arms sliding around her waist to keep her upright. Her body is warm and firm. Māra ducks her head into Eve’s shoulder for a moment. “Everyone’s staring,” she whispers, letting herself follow Eve’s lead now.

Eve keeps Māra close, letting their arms readjust to the new hold. Māra allows herself to slide in a little closer. It’s not bad, here, feeling as if Māra might be able to hide away in the safety of Eve’s catch.

“Do I seem like the type people really want to make mad?” Eve whispers back after a beat of silence.

Māra snorts. There’s the response she was waiting for. When she looks out, chin resting on Eve’s shoulder, Māra can see how there are a lot of stares. But maybe they don’t really matter. Maybe Eve was right. Fuck them. Māra had asked Eve here because she knew Eve wouldn’t care about the stares. Eve would be able to weather the storm.

Eve’s voice is soft as she continues on over the violins. Her chest and throat rumble as she speaks to Māra. “Haven’t you noticed every dress in here is white, cream, blush, ivory, or pink. I am sticking out like a store thumb in black. Let me be your shield. If we’re no longer enemies, let me protect you.”

“You-you can’t protect me. Not when this ends and I go to the meetings. They’ll still talk.”

“Then I’ll come with you, yeah? If they want to talk they’ll have to say it to my face. I think the whole lot of these women are all talk and no bite.” Eve pauses in the sway, but the two of them are still tightly embraced. Would Māra let Eve protect her? Would Māra trust Eve enough? “Aren’t your feet killing you by now in those shoes?”

Mara’s not sure where Eve’s going with the whole question. But something tells Māra she had better be honest with the answer. So she nods. “Yes.”

“Mine too.” Eve pulls away for a moment, before slipping the shoes from her feet. She whistles and it immediately catches Calum’s attention. It undoubtedly catches the attention of everyone else in the vicinity. Calum stands and she waves the shoe before he catches on, hands coming up to catch them. The other stares continue--Māra sees them, stares back at those who are staring for a moment. Mothers and daughters around them all watch Eve spiral her heels--one at a time--across the dance floor to Calum waiting at their table. It’s not a deep throw, but it’s not a toss either.

He catches them. One after another with ease. Calum doesn’t take a seat though. Eve turns to Mara. “Would you like to get rid of your shoes?”

Māra takes a look around. Let me be your shield. Is this Eve taking the hit? She was the youngest looking by several decades, the most eccentric by a mile even with Māra breaking the length requirement, and now Eve was making an utter fool of herself. But Māra nods and Eve kneels, hiking her dress up as she goes. Her hands are warm on Māra’s ankle but the strap loosen on one shoe and Māra balances on Eve’s shoulder while Eve takes the shoe from underneath her feet. The dance floor is rougher than she anticipated. Her other strap loosen too and when Eve stands, she sends Māra’s heel in a spiral down to Calum too.

“Don’t you hate having to dance to this music too? I find it rather boring,” Eve huffs. “I mean, this artist has been dead a hundred years at least. There’s got to be something more hip to dance to.”

Māra snorts at Eve’s use of hip. Sure Mar could handle phrases like modern, up to date, but not hip. Hip is trying too hard to be cool. “Eve, I believe it’s meant to be traditional. But I do agree, rather boring,” Māra giggles.

“I swear they gave me a fourth a chicken breast on my plate on purpose too,” Eve continues on. If Māra’s afraid of being the fool, of looking out of place, Eve will make sure she’s never looked more normal. “Was it the cook trying to tell me I’m fat? Maybe it’s Barbara being cheap.” It’s a low jab, but it does the job.

Māra’s laughter shakes her shoulders and she pulls herself into Eve. “Thank you,” she whispers in the hug.

Eve’s warmth radiates as she hugs back. “Anytime, Māra.”

“Let’s-let’s get out of here. I think I’d rather get a quarter pounder with extra cheese than deal with this. It’s not the same with mom, and you’re great. But I think it’s okay to let it go.”

Māra finds herself rooting into Eve’s touch even when the older woman tilts her chin back. “Your mother would be proud that you tried to come even without her. I told you I’d be a poor replacement for your mother. But what I should’ve said is that I’m a poor replacement because there is no replacing your mother. She is and will always be your mother. She will always be the one to handle debutantes like a true queen. She will always be the person who taught you how to do your makeup. I’m more like the drunk aunt. I can cause quite the scene but it is never filled with grace.”

“Maybe I just need a drunk aunt, then.”

“Maybe you do. Can I be that?”

Māra nods. Her eyes are misty but she so appreciates that Eve is not looking to replace her mother. She’d said it at this point almost a year ago when they were first introduced. But it just always felt like Eve was supposed to slot into that role. Who would Māra be without her mother or a mother figure? Maybe she would just be Māra. But right now, there’s nothing that will fit the hole her mother left behind. Eve was a square peg and Māra was trying to slot her into a round hole.

“Yeah, can you just be my drunk aunt who gets me out of this place and to a Macca’s?” Māra had grown fond of that particular Australian slang and used it no matter which crowd she was with.

Eve’s grin makes the skin around her eyes crinkle. “It would be my honor.” Eve slips an arm around Mara’s shoulder and walks her to the edge of the dancefloor, around the deserted tables to where Calum’s seated.

He stands as they approach, noticing the way Māra’s chin wobbles. “Sweetpea,” he coos, taking her into his chest.

“We need a Macca’s stat,” Eve relays, slipping back into her heels and grabbing Mar’s from the floor. “We don’t have time for shoes.”

“No time for shoes?” he snickers. They had plenty of time to get shoes on, but he doesn’t debate Eve.

“No time,” Māra agrees, but she moves over to Eve.

Eve slips the cape off her shoulders and hands it alongside Mara’s shoes to Calum before turning so her back faces Mar. “Hop on,” she directs, squatting down just a little. Mar gives a test push Eve’s shoulder and Eve holds steady. Then Māra leaps. Eve hooks her arms behind her knee caps, the dress not seeming to be an issue for either one of them. Calum watches Eve carry Māra on her back for a few steps and then realizes they’re leaving right now. He ensures he has his keys and wallet still in his suit jacket pocket alongside all their phones in his pants pocket. Both Eve and Māra had forgone purses and while it was a lot to juggle. He’s grateful his pockets are deep on his pants. Calum half jogs to catch up. Eve doesn’t so much as waver as she passes through the auditorium’s double doors.

Calum gets ahead and holds the building door open as well. “I still think we had plenty of time for shoes,” he returns.

He knows he’s poking the bull maybe a little. But his heart is going wild in his chest. Eve’s grinning as she carries Māra with ease and Māra, who originally looked five seconds from tears, smiles too. He’s not sure what happened on that dancefloor. He was watching them one minute, then catching heels the next. He thought maybe it was all good and settled back down. Now, the two of them are here: Māra being carried on Eve’s back.

Māra laughs as she bobs just a little. “But this is ten times more fun. Also, I had no clue Eve was this strong. Like she’s not even shaking carrying me.”

“No, Eve is pretty strong. Doesn’t look it, but she is.” He unlocks the car doors as they approach and helps Mara get into the car without her bare feet touching the parking lot. She accepts her shoes and Eve’s cape as well. Calum knows all too well the drill and fishes out her phone too. It clacks with all the charms attached, but at least he never has to worry if he got his phone mixed up with hers.

“Thanks, Dad.”

“Of course, sweetpea. Watch the cape,” he says gently. Mar makes sure to get all of Eve’s cape into the truck and then guides the door closed.

“What happened? Why are we leaving?” Calum questions, pausing yet again tonight on Eve’s door to open it.

“I gave her a scapegoat,” Eve answers. “Every mother in that building is either fake or spineless. It starts with Barbara and the entire crop is spoiled because of her. She ignores me. Then makes a comment about not knowing Māra had another aunt. She gets suffocated by sympathy and then when we dance everyone is staring. I gave Māra what she needed. If she thinks they were going to gossip just because of how I looked or how I dressed, then they will surely have a field day tomorrow or next week or next meeting to talk about me. But if there’s anything I could do for your daughter, it is going to be that I could protect her. They can talk all they want about me now, but they surely won’t have anything to say about her.”

“You-you took the hit,” Calum concludes. He wondered why Eve started to throw shoes, but again, he was going to question it. Was it proper etiquette? No, even Calum knows that, but he’ll be damned if he tries to undermine Eve.

“I’d do it again.”

He noticed the looks too. He didn’t want to say anything in the event that Māra didn’t notice them. But she had. Because of course she would notice them. They were hard to miss as everyone’s head turned in their direction time after time. It was starting to get predictable. Perhaps a fake good impression and tossed heels are the best outcome for a situation that might’ve been doomed from the start.

But Eve had done something Calum couldn’t do. He couldn’t make everyone else in that room understand. He couldn’t make everyone else in that room stop looking. But Eve--Eve knows that when you can’t beat them, you join them. She made herself a shield so when the sword hit, it hit her. Not Māra. Of course, Māra wouldn’t be completely spared. But she’d always been protected as much as she could have been. It is not perfect. They could’ve made a quiet exit. They could’ve slipped away. The rumors would circle how Māra left during the mother-daughter dance--how sad about her grief still. But the story would be much livelier now. Māra would’ve attempted the challenge head on. They don’t need perfection when they have earnesty.

Calum takes Eve’s cheeks between his palms. Eve’s lips purse together just a little with the pressure. “I love you,” he whispers. “Thank you for looking out for Māra. Thank you for being there when I couldn’t. Thank you for doing the things I can't do sometimes.” Like causing a scene on purpose. Like calling Barbara out for what she is. Like giving Māra the space to take something head on, fail, but still have fun.

Eve wraps her fingers around Calum’s wrists, and squeezes. “I love you. I do it with honor. Always.”

The kiss is short--in all relative time, they’re lips are not together longer than a few seconds. But the window’s motor whirs and the glass slides down. “I love love,” Māra teases, leaning her head out of the window.

Eve is the first one to break in the kiss. Her laughter shakes her and she turns ever so slightly to look at Māra. “Are we talking too long?”

“No, no, now that I’m out of the dance. I don’t really care. But I do want that quarter pounder.”

Calum laughs next. It was Māra’s way of saying at least some time tonight. He presses two more kisses to Eve’s cheek and then pulls away to open the passenger side door for Eve. “Okay, Macca’s. Got it. We’re going. I’m clearly way too distracted for Mar’s taste.”

Māra holds the greasy brown bag securely in her lap, rustling through the items stacked inside. “Three fries. Two burgers. One ten piece nugget with barbecue sauce,�� she calls out.

“I have one sweet seat, one coke, one bottle of water,” Eve rattles off. Satisfied none of their items are missing, Calum nods and then sets off back for the house.

The night is thick, but the crinkle of the bag in Māra’s hand as she walks up the front steps is enough to cut through it. It feels a little less suffocating for Māra now. The balls would be too full of her mother. Everyone there would still be comparing something that had been lost and never gained again. Pointless for them to circle around because Māra’s not there anymore. She’s not sure where she is, but she knows where she is not. Māra is not the same girl to go to balls with her mother anymore. Māra might be the girl to dress in fancy clothes and get burgers. She might be the girl to call up Eve just to complain. She night the girl who still misses her mother but can let the miss wash over and ride through, but not consume.

The trio of them don’t make it further than the couch. Eve does make a run to the linen closet to grab some towels for Calum and Māra. The last thing she wants for them is to get ketchup on their white clothes. But she makes quick work to come back to the couch in the end. Māra pats the cushion next to her and Eve holds out a towel before settling down.

There are few words as they work down their respective meals until Māra sucks down another sip of her coke. “Hey, Eve?”

“Yes, Māra?” Eve returns, polishing off the last of her nuggets.

“What’s your workout regime? I wanna be buff too.”

“It starts when you piss off God.”

#calum hood #calum hood fanfic #calum hood fic #calum hood imagine #calum hood series #calum hood x black!oc #5sos #5sos fanfic #5sos fic #5sos imagine #5 seconds of summer imagine #5 seconds of summer fanfic #5 seconds of summer fic #5 seconds of summer blurb #calum hood blurb #h writes

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lovesosweeet · 6 months

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better left unsaid // cth

chapter eleven

in which orion has leukemia, and calum doesn’t know.

calum hood x fem!oc

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july 31st, 2018 los angeles, california calum

Saying goodbye has never been my strong suit. I wish it would've gotten easier over time — with as many goodbyes as we've had to give, it should be easier. It's not.

I guess it's gotten easier with people who mean less. Friends, distant family. It's fine if we don't see each other too often, because the time we do spend together ends up feeling more valuable. I don't mind the few times we see each other each year having more weight than they used to, but with Orion, it's so, so different.

She's my absolute best friend. She's my unconditional, unwavering biggest fan. She's my voice of reason. She makes the good days even better and the bad days a bit less bad.

I had a life without Orion, before we met, but I never want to live a life without her again.

From the moment we woke up yesterday until now, both of us have been a lot more somber. We cling to each other as much as we can, needing to be as close as physics will allow. The only times we are apart are when one of us uses the bathroom.

I tossed and turned all night, my mind racing with thoughts. Why didn't I try harder to convince her to come with us? How often will we actually be able to talk? Between her classes, work-study, LSAT prep, press interviews, soundchecks, performances, traveling, sleeping, and time zones, how often will our lives line up?

I love touring. I really do, but I love Orion more than anything else in this entire world. I would do anything for her as soon as she asked.

I try to remind myself we’ll be back in time for the holidays and for O’s birthday, so while we’re missing time together, we aren’t missing any important days. Orion already has a Friendsgiving planned and I’m sure she’s got Secret Santa in the works too. I try to just think about the good parts of traveling and all of the fun things we’ll get to do when I get back. Emelia and I have already been trying to plan a trip for her and O to come join us on tour for their fall break, but we’ll see if that actually ends up being possible.

We’re not flying out until 3:00 this afternoon and don’t need to leave for the airport until 12:00, but I wake up at 6:00. I don’t wake Orion up until 8:30, but I spend my two and a half hours of silence in bed, holding her as close to me as I can without squeezing her so hard that she’d wake up. She looks so peaceful like this, her hair loosely cascading around her face, her skin makeup free, and her eyes closed, making it even more apparent that she has long, thick lashes. This is the last time I’ll wake up like this for a few months. I sneak a selfie of us, hoping to use it to remember how it feels to sleep next to O while we’re a million miles away.

To wake her up, I just start peppering kisses all over her face. First, her forehead. Then, her eyelids. Each cheek. Her jaw. Her temple. I wait for her eyes to sleepily blink open before I press my final kiss to her lips.

"Mornin', baby."

She smiles, sleepily gazing up at me. "Morning."

I could get lost in her eyes forever.

"Wanna get pastries and coffee?"

Her smile grows into a grin. "Yes, please."

—

After a morning of flaky croissants, weird lattes, and a long walk around the neighborhood, Orion and I took our last shower together for a while. We stood under the steamy stream of hot water, just holding each other in silence. I'm going to miss those moments.

Following the shower, I dress in an all black sweatsuit and slides. Orion pulls on the shirt I wore yesterday — "it smells like you" she explained — and a pair of sweat shorts, slipping her Birkenstocks on. We cuddle with Duke on the couch while we wait for the van that Matt sent to pick us up. I make sure to pet Duke a ton and give him a few treats so that his last interaction with me is a happy one.

The call that the driver is here comes far too quickly, and we buzz him up to let him get my bags. I don't make him carry all of them. He gets my two larger checked bags, and I grab my duffel bag, and Orion carries my backpack. I probably overpacked, but things seem to mysteriously disappear whenever we're on the road.

"Are you going on vacation?" Ron asks when we're clambering through the lobby with all my luggage.

"Cal's going on tour," Orion explains. Her sad expression hurts something in my chest.

Ron smiles. "Oh, wonderful! That's so exciting. Calum, I hope to hear about your journey when you return. Best of luck!"

I smile graciously and nod. "Sure thing, thanks Ron. Keep an eye on this one for me, will you?" I motion to Orion, who glares in response, and Ron agrees to make sure she's safe.

We throw my bags into the trunk of the black van, the driver opening the sliding door for Orion and me. I let her get in first, of course, and then climb in after her, closing the door behind me. We sit as close to each other as we can in the backseat, my arm wrapped around Orion's small frame, her head on my chest, my other hand intertwined with her hands while she traces over my tattooed initials.

She's already crying, and I have to look away so I don't follow suit.

The drive is silent; the driver doesn't even play a shitty top 40 station. All we listen to is the GPS navigation.

Our driver takes us to a special entrance at LAX where we don't have to mix with the public, and as we pull up, I see Michael and Crystal getting their things out of the van that brought them.

"Hey guys!" Michael cheers.

Of course, they're happy. They're not spending this tour apart and are going to get to travel the world together. They're looking forward to this whole thing, meanwhile I'm dreading it.

Okay, I suppose dreading it isn't quite how I'd describe it. I'm excited to tour and see fans all over the world and perform the music we just released. I am dreading being apart from the girl I love most.

Orion doesn't say anything, she just waves to him.

When Michael catches onto our mood, he frowns and runs over to us, wrapping us into a hug. "Don't be sad, guys! This tour isn't that long. We'll be back before you know it, O."

She sniffles and nods, pulling back from Michael. "I'm gonna miss you guys." Her teary eyes catch Mike's gaze and then I see something in him shift before he hugs her again. Orion keeps her hand in mine while she hugs him back.

"You're gonna make me cry too! It's gonna be fine, OK? We all love you and will miss you just as much as you miss us."

Once Orion manages to regain some of her composure, we head inside. Our bags have already disappeared, except for our backpacks and Crystal's tote bag. When we get in, Matt, Ashton, Luke, Sierra, and most of our crew are already in there, milling about.

"Great, you're here," Matt says while he walks up to us. "Let's go ahead and start going through security."

Again, we're in some separate part of LAX that the public doesn't have access to, but we do still have to go through TSA like everyone else, it's just a separate, far smaller one.

Unspokenly, everyone lets Orion and me go first so we can have as much time on the other side as we can together.

Once we've gone through security and have our shoes back on, I pull Orion off to a secluded corner and just hug her as tight as I can. I can feel her tears soaking my sweatshirt, and I try to console her by smoothing my hand over the back of her head. Her small hands clutch at the back of my sweatshirt, balling the material into her fists.

It takes a lot of effort for me not to cry.

Why is saying goodbye so hard?

I don't know how long we're standing there for. I'm just trying to be here with Orion for as long as I can.

"Boys, time to board," Matt calls.

Fuck. It's time.

"Say your goodbyes," he adds.

Even though he says boys, he's not talking to Mike or Ash or Luke. Crystal and Sierra are coming with us, and Kay is at the hospital with her grandma, and the rest of our crew wasn't allowed to bring guests into the airport at all. He's just talking to me.

Orion squeezes me closer to her as hard as she can, and I just keep smoothing her hair. It's so soft.

I take a few deep breaths, preparing to speak without my voice cracking. "I'll see you when I get back. I love you."

She sniffles, and I feel her back shake while she cries. It breaks my heart to be the cause of this pain. She doesn't deserve it. "I love you," she manages to say.

I pull back so I can look at her. Her face is red and puffy, tears shiny on her cheeks, and yet, she's still so beautiful. I could look at her forever. "You're the prettiest girl I've ever seen, even when you're crying," I tell her, meaning every single word. I wipe away her tears with my thumb.

She scrunches up her face and blushes, looking so cute while she does. Everything about her is just... perfect.

"Flattery isn't getting you anywhere today, babe," she starts. I pretend like she's wounded me. "I love you. Go, board. I'll be cheering you on every night."

Instead of replying, I lean down and kiss her again. How can I not kiss her every day? I lived a life without Orion before, and I never want to do that again. I want to kiss her every day for the rest of my life. I want to make her laugh every day. I want to love her every day. God, I can't imagine not loving this girl. How can anyone not fall in love with her?

"I love you so much. I'll call you when we land, okay?" I kiss her nose. We're going to Japan first, so it'll be quite a long travel time. I don't want her waiting around trying to time the call correctly, so I'll just plan on calling her the moment our wheels touch down in Tokyo.

"Did I mention I love you?" I ask. That makes her grin, and my heart hurts a little less.

"No, I don't think so," she teases.

"I did!" I pout.

Orion gently pushes my chest. "Go."

I sigh, nodding. "I'm gonna miss—"

I'm cut off when a hand grabs my shoulder and I feel a body behind me. "Cal, mate, we've really gotta go." It's Ashton. I hang my head and nod.

"It's not easy to say goodbye to the love of your life, dude!" I defend myself.

Ashton grins, but his eyes are sad, too. He must be thinking about how Kay isn't joining us yet, either. He gets how hard it is to leave. "She also literally just told you to go!"

"I'm gonna miss you too, babe," Orion chimes in. She kisses me again and then she steps several feet away from me, too quickly for me to try to catch her and pull her back. "Go!" She laughs.

I know she doesn't mean it negatively; she's just trying to let me do my job and what I love, but it hurts somewhat that she's telling me to go. I can't explain it. I sigh.

"Okay, fine, I'll go," I decide sadly.

Orion blows me a kiss as I walk backward toward the door, and I numbly leave, trying my hardest not to cry. Once I'm through the door, I let a few tears fall. I realize then that no one else has gotten the chance to say goodbye to Orion, so I'm the only one getting on the plane from our group.

The crew, Michael, Luke, Crystal, and Sierra join me soon, each offering me sympathetic glances.

"We're gonna have fun, mate," Michael says, throwing an arm around my shoulder. "Orion's a strong girl, she'll be fine without you."

I just nod, not saying anything.

I take my seat on the plane, watching the rest of our crew clamber past me. I wonder what's taking Ashton so long to board. I know he and Orion are close, but it's odd considering now we're just waiting for Ashton and Matt. I quickly send a text to Orion while we wait.

To: my love + stars i love love love you. i wish you could come with us, maybe next tour? you say the word and i'll fly you out wherever and whenever you want. i miss you already. xxx

When Ashton finally boards, his eyes are red and he's wiping away tears, too. He sits next to me, sniffling quietly.

"I'm gonna miss her," he admits.

I smile sadly. "Yeah, me too."

From: my love + stars i'll miss you far more i promise. love you the literal most ever. go take on the world.

“She loves you so much, man,” Ashton mutters.

I’m not sure where that came from, but I know emotions are at a high. “I love her so much.”

He nods. “I know.”

Once everyone is on the plane, they shut the door and we start taxiing. Ash gets out his headphones, signaling to me that we aren’t going to be talking on this flight, at least not now. I get mine out too, send Orion a few heart emojis, text my family that we’ve boarded our first flight of the tour, and then put it into airplane mode.

I check the time. It’s 2:32. Underneath the numbers, I stare at the picture of Orion and me from the other day when we got ice cream. She looks so pure, and happy, and the sun reflected in her eyes in a way that made them almost look lit up. I can’t wait to be back and see them in person again.

God, this is going to be a long tour.