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camilacabellofanfiction · 1 year

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TEN MORE MINUTES

Chapter 2

Beck's POV

"What the fuck is this?" I softly exclaimed, taking in the view of Studio 2. I was in shock really, someone really did a number on this place. The table was covered in small bits of trash and potato chip bags, the rug looked like it went outside and played in Shrek's swamp, and the ashtray definitely has black & milds in it judging by the smell of the room. I shut the door and checked the time. I still had a few minutes to salvage this and get a better room before Camila gets here. There is no way I am letting her go near that room.

I begin my short trip back to the office with a small laugh. "I'm glad I got here first," I thought to myself. Rounding the corner I am immediately met with the sight of Camila. Before I could form a thought, I could hear her voice, "Beck!" Her pace quickened towards me. Camila is one of those few people whose energy will consume the room. Instantly I could feel the effect and found myself growing more excited for the work day. "How are you, Camil-," I was abruptly cut off by her body slamming into mine as she wrapped me into a tight hug. I felt myself sink into her embrace and I can't help but take a deep breath, finding more comfort in the soft smell of her perfume. The brunette then peeled herself off of me and adjusted her purse back into place. With excited eyes she responded, "Beck, I am so glad to be back! Today is going to be so much fun! But lead the way and we can catch up." Her smile was truly infectious, I began to open my mouth but was cut off again. "So tell me, how are you? What's new, what's been going on in your world?" I chuckled and pointed at the office just behind her. "Well Camila, I don't really have any updates for you," I trailed off and guided her small frame to turn towards the office. "But, we have a situation in Studio 2 so I need to get us into a different suite before we shoot the shit." Camila laughed and tilted her head back, her brown eyes noticeably scanning the upper portion of my body. Instinctively, I averted my eyes over to the office door. I looked back to the brunette next to me and her eyes were still trained on my own. "What was that?" I thought. Abandoning that thought, I opened my mouth to speak. "So, okay, just give me a few minutes. We should be able to get into another room with no problem, cool?" She nodded softly back to me. I couldn't help but stare back at her for a second too long. Finally I break free of her gaze and turn the door handle.

I stepped into the office and the door closed softly behind me. The young woman at the desk turned her eyes to me expectantly. "What do you need, Miss Adler?" Her voice was soft and held a helpful tone. I didn't bother to sit, I figure this won't take long to smooth out. "Right, so Studio 2 is a total mess. I'm hoping that Miss Cabello and I could get another suite for todays session. Also I imagine you probably want to tack on a fee to whoever had that room last." The young woman looked at me, then back to her computer screen. Her hand guided the mouse and clicked a few times, the room was otherwise silent. After a few moments she took in a swift breath and trained her attention back to me. "I see. So yes, we can get your party into another suite. It seems like the issue here is that a cleaning crew has not been scheduled to Studio 2." She clicked the mouse a few more times and turned back once more. "Okay, Miss Adler. Looks like we can get you into Studio 6 and the availability is open for the rest of the day. You can find it in the wing opposite to the previous suite. Is there anything else I can help you with today?" She questioned, smiling slightly and adjusted her posture to face me directly. I returned her smile, "No, thank you though. That is all I needed Ma'am!" She looked pleased and nodded gently. I turned and quickly exited the room.

"Okay! We are all set!" I cheerfully exclaimed. Camila quickly turned to me and offered a satisfied smile. "Alright so we are going to be down here somewhere," I gestured down the adjacent hallway and Camila followed my lead. Her voice emanated from behind me, "So what was wrong with the other one you had?" I chuckled at her question. "Well," I started with an exhausted tone. I was about to continue my explanation when I noticed we had reached our destination. "Oh shit, here we go. This is us." Both of us now trained our eyes to the plaque reading 'Studio 6.' I turned the handle and glanced into the studio. "Okay, this one will do," stating my satisfaction for the room. I ushered the brunette into the room and followed suite, heading straight for the workstation. "But anyways, when I went into the other studio, it was completely trashed. Like disgusting." The room was filled with Camila's laughter. "What? What was wrong with it?" She quipped, still chuckling as she waited for a fuller description. "So basically, there was garbage all over the lounge. It smelled like an ashtray, and the poor rug needs a baptism performed on it." We shared a moment of laughter at my description.

I plopped my frame into the rolling chair, immediately feeling eager to work. Like a captain at the helm of a ship. Fully in control, the course ahead at my mercy. "I love this job," I thought to myself and let out a content sigh.

I looked over to Camila, also making herself comfortable on the couch in the back of the room. She returned my gaze and asked, "So, what has been going on in Beck's world?" Her tone was neutral and she leaned back into her seat. I turned my eyes to the floor and thought for a few moments.

"Well, not too much. I explored the city a bit, you know L.A. is something new to me." I chucked. She nodded with a small smile, waiting for me to continue. "It's kind of funny, you really can buy anything here. The shopping is on another level, but besides that, I've just been holed up in the hotel working and hanging out by the pool. I know, I should probably do some sight seeing but that's just not my thing," I shrugged, showing my lack of interest. "What about you? What have you been up to lately?" I questioned the brunette. She adjusted herself, sitting forward a bit. Her voice was soft as she spoke, "Besides working, I got to see some old friends. I was telling a few people a while ago that I would be back in the city for the album so I try to get together with some friends as long as I can fit it around the schedule." Camila chuckled. "It can be challenging though, everyone is so busy working on some project or they are tied up with their own jobs." I nodded in the affirmative and agreed, "Yeah, the people here live fast and die hard, huh?" We laughed at my observation. "Oh for sure! They say New York is the city that never sleeps but L.A. is the city that never stops working!" I could feel myself grow more comfortable as we laughed and joked about nothing important. The brunette offered me a sincere expression, "But you really should get out and meet people, Beck! If you'd like, I could take you out to meet with some friends. It would be fun! Have some drinks, talk, and let loose." I pondered over her offer. "This could be a good thing. I could do some networking," I thought to myself. I smirked and met her gaze once more, "Thanks for the offer. I would like that, Camila." She looked satisfied with my answer, then suddenly her face lit up. "Oh my God!" She exclaimed. My confusion was painted across my face now. "You can meet Taylor! You will love her! She will love you!" Her excitement was boundless. The Latina was practically bouncing out of her seat, her arms outstretched from her body conveying her confidence in the matter. I couldn't help but laugh. Camila really is the life of every space she inhabits. "Taylor Swift?" I half questioned and half exclaimed. The brunette nodded back to me excitedly. "That sounds great! I'd love to meet her! Just let me know the time and the place. Also what to wear because I want to kill the first impression." She was amused, the sound of our laughter went on, then was replaced by a soft sigh from the young woman. "Sure thing, Beck."

I realized we were all caught up now. It was probably time to get some work done. "So, let's get to it then!" I spun in my chair a few times. I could hear Camila stand from the couch and she made her way over to the workstation I was now setting up for our session. "I still want to learn how to do what you do," She spoke with a tone of wonder. I chuckled shortly. "You could do it, for sure. You certainly have the ear and a touch for detail," I assured her. She looked to me, I assume for encouragement. I faced her, looking up slightly as she was bent at the waist, resting her hands on the mixing console. "Really, it's easier than you think. A lot of this stuff looks crazy but it is just a tool. Think of it like an instrument. So, here's an example. Go ahead and push these all the way down," I pointed to the gain controls. She followed my instructions and asked for the next step, "Okay, what next?" She was very focused on the board now. "Alright so you just turned down all of our gain levels. So no sound is feeding out of the system."

I pushed my chair back and stood up, motioning for her to sit. With a couple of excited steps that might as well have been a happy dance, the brunette seated herself and bit at her lip. Her smile was contagious, I couldn't help but be happy for her in this moment. It reminds me of my first time, only that I was more eager to impress and almost paralyzed by the fear of failure.

"Alright, so the ball is the mouse. It is a bit weird but also kind of cool," I laughed as she played with it a bit, getting somewhat more familiar with it. I moved around her chair to get closer to the monitor. "So, right here is the list of our tracks. Double click on any one of those," I pointed at the list on the screen. She clicked onto the first in the list and the track was loaded onto the screen. "This is so cool! So how do I play this?" Camila was bubbling over with excitement at this point. I chuckled but was quick to answer, "Alright so go ahead and double click this. This is always going to take you to the beginning of the first measure." She did as I instructed and turned to me for the next step. I leaned down onto the edge of the mixing station to get a better look at the words on the top of the screen. "So now we are going to make sure that our output from the computer is being received. So click this and then click the tab that says input slash output." I watched as Camila successfully opened the settings. Everything was exactly the way it was supposed to be. "Alright, so everything is good on our end, I had already hooked up to the console but we always have to double check everything before we get started. So let's double check that our gain levels are still all the way down." She looked back to the knobs she previously adjusted. "Okay, check!" The brunette exclaimed. I chuckled, "Alright, then let's play something. Exit out of our settings and go back to the track overview." I noticed she struggled a bit to retrace her steps, but she got back to the right place after a few moments. "Okay, so the space bar is going to be our stop and go, same as you would do in a DAW on your laptop. So, when you are ready you can press the space bar and then we are going to adjust the gain levels so that we can hear what we are playing." Camila whipped her head to me, our faces were now only inches apart. I couldn't help but notice our proximity and the detail in her eyes. "That's it?" She questioned, a hint of surprise in her voice. I nodded and stood up straight, turning my attention back to the board. "Go ahead and then slowly turn up each gain. Not too much at first, we want to hear the track and then we can take it higher." The brunette turned back to the monitor and pressed the space bar, she looked slightly confused for a moment that there was no sound. Then she shifted her focus to the knobs. "She looks so nervous," I thought. I watched as she cautiously pushed at one of the knobs. Suddenly, we could hear the track playing. "Okay, so do that with the rest but keep this one a bit lower than the others. That is your mic, and we do not need much there until we set it up with your volume range." She was really taking control now and she played with the knobs.

I stepped back and pulled out my phone. Quickly, I snapped a few candid shots of the focused young woman and called to her, "Camila!" She looked up to me and pulled her hands back like she had done something wrong. I laughed and pointed to my phone, "Smile for the camera, Miss Producer!" She looked relieved and turned in the chair. The young brunette offered a few different poses and we laughed together. I could tell she was feeling quite accomplished and far more capable of taking on something new. I walked back over to her with my photo album opened, ready to show her the pictures. "Let me see! This is so much fun!" Camila exclaimed. Handing over the phone, I watched as she carefully examined all of the pictures, a small smile adorning her face.

I walked around her and reached down to pause the track that was still playing over the speakers. The only sound left in the room was her soft giggle. I turned to ask of the Latina's opinion. "So, what do you think? Not too bad, right?" She looked up to me, her eyes were lit up with excitement. "I love it! I felt like I was in my own world for a second," she boasted happily. I laughed and felt a bit proud of the brunette in that moment. "You really are a natural, Camila." She made a pose, feigning confidence, which gained a good laugh from the both of us.

Before our conversation could carry on, my phone began to ring, the sound emanating an alarming tone throughout the room. Both sets of our eyes locked on to the device still in Camila's hands. The latter swiftly handed the phone over to me, the name on the screen is admittedly one I would prefer not to hear from. I grumbled and looked to the brunette in front of me, "Let me take this call and then we can get started." My tone was less than enthusiastic. It was obvious that Camila has sensed my disdain and her face turned to one of understanding, with a small nod to accompany. I walked past the Latina and accepted the call as I pushed my way through the door. I leaned back against the hallway wall and greeted the voice in my phone, "Hey Jess, what's up?"

** Author's Note**

Hey guys! I hope you all enjoyed the new chapter :) the next is going to be from Camila's POV once again!

#submission #lgbtq+#slash #Camila #continuing #queer #fluff #au

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mesillusionssousecstasy · 1 year

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Emily in Paris - Season 3: Quotes

- “You’ll be hearing from our lawyers. (Emily) - So you’re suing me for not calling you?” (Alfie) (Episode 2)

- “I didn’t realize what I had until I lost it.” (Emily - Episode 2)

- “Yeah, well, the American dream turned into the French nightmare.” (Episode 2)

- “You know, I’ll give it to Paris. Even when you’re having a bad day, the city is looking great.” (Episode 2)

- “It’s funny how you become the things you hate.” (Episode 3)

- “Well, I guess all those endless selfies are finally paying off.” (Sylvie - Episode 5)

- “Plus he sent over some champagne. (Emily) - “Finally, someone who understands my needs.” (Mindy - Episode 5)

- “I thought you were gonna be a professional polo player. You know we used to call you Nacho?” (Mindy - Episode 5 - GG reference too)

- “Sexy. Why am I never around when anything good happens?” (Episode 5)

- “What Am I supposed to do? An affair? (Emily) - You saw two girls kissing at a party. You need to get out more. Okay, Emily Jane Cooper, occupe-toi de tes oignons.” (Mindy - Episode 5)

- “Just because I was raised rich doesn’t mean I don’t love a free sample.” (Mindy - Episode 5)

- “Yeah, well, you’re American, she’s Australian, you colluded.” (Sylvie - Episode 5)

- “Are you serious? I... I am so tired of apologizing for who I am. I can’t change my past. If you’ll always resent me for it, maybe we don’t have a future.” (Mindy - Episode 5)

- “It’s not “either or”, Camille. Are we really here to just love one person?” (The artist - Episode 6)

- “I don’t understand. You’re married to him and having an affaire with me or you’re in a relationship with me having an affair with your husband.” (Erik - Episode 6)

- “I mean, is this really necessary? (Alfie) - Luxury is a necessity that begins when necessity ends. (Antoine) - Mmm. Coco Chanel.” (Emily - Episode 6)

- “Why don’t guys tell you what they’re thinking? - And save us the mystery?” (Episode 7)

- “What do you think of the quality? (Pierre) - Honestly? - Brutally.” (Pierre - Episode 7)

- “They’ve turned me into a clown trapped in a funhouse mirror.” (Pierre - Episode 7)

- “Wow, this is so surreal. I feel like we’re walking into heaven on acid.” (Emily - Episode 7)

- “Come on, seriously? In this? (Mindy) - You look incredible tonight. Every man there was checking you out. (Nicolas) - Yeah, except for you. (Mindy) - Believe me, I noticed. It took every ounce of willpower not to make a spectacle of myself.” (Nicolas - Episode 7)

- “The only time I’ve heard Sylvie say “Merveilleux” was about a Chablis.” (Luc or Julien - Episode 7)

- “The men may be gone, but the brands persist.” (Episode 7) - “More times than I care to remember.” (Episode 7)

- “You can feel as guilty as you want, but not everything happens because you make it happen. - Well, except for this. This was definitively you.” (Episode 8)

- “Well, he did sustain some injuries, Gregory, so we need to treat this with the sensitivity it deserves.” (Episode 8)

- “I love you both. - And I’m going to end up with nothing.” (Episode 8)

- “Who do you want to go to bed with” (Julien - Episode 8)

- “In love? I can’t believe he said that. (Mindy) - He was drunk.” (Emily) - Sure, but alcohol doesn’t make people lie. Kind of the opposite.” (Mindy - Episode 8)

- “True elegance is found in simplicity.” (Episode 8)

- “It died the moment I sold my soul to JVMA.” (Pierre - Episode 8)

- “Pierre is a respected talent any you only bought his company to toss him out like the trash. - If you can do that to him, you can do that to me. You can do that to anyone.” (Episode 8)

- “Do you have any idea what you just lost? (Louis de Leon) - Something I never wanted. A relationship with you.” (Sylvie - Episode 8)

- “I just made an enemy of the most powerful family in fashion.” (Sylvie - Episode 8)

- “Let’s not become one of those couples that spend more time analyzing their relationship than being in one.” (Alfie - Episode 9)

- “Do you know why this works so well? We get to be together and still do everything we want. We should be enjoying ourselves every second we can. Life is short.” (Episode 9)

- “Hell of a “welcome home”, mate.” (Alfie - Episode 9)

- “Yeah, well, every couple hits that point. It’s either time to break it off or commit to each other. You’re either in or you’re out.” (Alfie - Episode 9)

- “Only the two people involved know what they are to each other. You knew everything about every single piece. - No, you just didn’t know anything.” (Episode 9)

- “Can I get the recipe for that? (Emily) - Recipe? There are no recipes. It’s not a list of things. It’s a feeling. You just know when something is right and when something is wrong.” (Gabriel’s grandmother - Episode 10)

- “His ex-girlfriend, Marianne.” (Julien) - Oh, which Marianne? (Sylvie) - I can neither confirm nor deny. (Luc) - Marianne number one. (Julien) - How did you know that?” (Luc - Episode 10)

- “It was not what she said, it’s what she did.” (Luc - Episode 10)

- “I hope you take as good care of her as I did. She deserves a good man. (Timothée) - I’ll certainly do my best.” (Alfie - Episode 10)

- “Emily. Our secrets are what will keep us close. (Camille - Episode 10)

#emily in paris #emily in paris season 3 #emily in paris quotes #emily in paris season 3 quotes #eip quotes #emily cooper #alfie #mindy #luc #netflix shows #netflix series

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normal-thoughts-official · 3 years

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I always wondered why is Alec always the one to make the first move? And why magnus is suprised by that? Is he waiting for Alec to reach out first?

imo? yes. or rather he's not waiting because he kinda doesn't expect displays of affection. but yes i do think magnus is holding himself back

there are many reasons i believe that. first one, magnus canonically thinks that he's too much to handle, he's said so himself, both as a joke and in seriousness when he told alec that he knows he's a lot to deal with. second one, alec was in the closet five seconds ago and he is a shadowhunter, which makes magnus second-guess himself regarding touch and PDA because it feels like it's not going to be welcomed. this reason has two subsections as well: one, we know that magnus pretty much never touches people without permission and hates being touched without permission (think the way he wouldn't even touch alec's lips when he was flirting with him and how he never ever touched alec or even flirted with him with others around once he witnessed the demon fiasco, as well as the way he glared at jace when jace touched his shoulder). two, magnus has good reason to be wary of getting close to shadowhunters. those are the people who kill his people. and even though he knows alec is not going to like, try to murder him for no reason, it's still hard to ignore all that trauma and not fear initiating contact in that way, you know, especially when you know in shadowhunter culture they aren't very big on touch.

third reason, which i think is the most important one: magnus has been abused

both by his father and camille, so at least twice, and that's a very powerful thing. i have no doubt in my mind that camille's abuse rethoric in particular was very focused on him being needy (think her telling him that he doesn't do well losing those he loves, think her telling him that he would choose her because she could be with him forever. a lot of her rethoric relies on the idea that magnus needs her because he's too demanding and she's the only one that can give him what he needs, for one reason or another. and while she at the time was using it mostly to convince him to stay with her/take her side, abusers usually use their rethoric both to prove to make you stay and put you down. in my experience, abusers often paint their partners as needy, both to say "no one else would put up with you" and "i don't even know why i put up with you". only they will love you, but also, you are never fully deserving of their love, it's never enough, and you need to do better) and so planting this idea that he needed too much, asked for too much, was a lot to deal with. and - albeit in a different way, especially due to the different nature of that relationship - asmodeus wasn't much different. who else would love magnus, with his demonic eyes? anyone else would call him a monster and want nothing to do with him. he needs asmodeus, so he better be grateful for whatever asmodeus throws at him

that's another important point: abusers teach you that wanting anything at all out of a relationship is bad. either because it will be met with violence or because it proves that you are selfish, demanding, insecure, dependent, self absorbed, disrespectful, childish... take your pick. the reasons/rethoric vary, but the point they drive towards is always the same. that's what characterizes abuse: making you put aside your own needs/wants in the name of the other person's

so i think in general magnus was just kind of untaught to ask for what he wants or initiate that for himself. it's a trope we've seen many times in the show. when magnus is sad, he hides away. when he has a problem, he tries to deal with it on his own. he never asks for help, not once. he never initiates contact. he never admits he needs help. he never even asks for company. and he consistently puts other people's needs before his own, sacrificing himself way more than would ever be healthy, etc etc etc

and we gotta remember this is magnus' first serious relationship after he broke up with camille. he had been very deliberately avoiding opening his heart to anyone else, he said so himself. and seeing him with alec, it's pretty clear why. like, don't get me wrong, i think he's ready for a relationship, and you can't really start to learn to build better relationships post-abuse without having some problems and false starts and that's okay. but like you can see the way that he is always putting alec's needs before his own, assuming that that's how it would be, not expecting it in return - remember his genuine shock when alec came to rescue him in hell? after magnus had gone to hell for him and his family without thinking twice so many times? like bro... - being afraid of telling him about his history and even who his father was, canonically because he was scared alec would think less of him

it's pretty clear to me that magnus has that feeling in the back of his mind that he's going to get to be too much and at the same time he's not really enough. i also think he's a little scared of giving him weapons to use against him - like letting him know of asmodeus or his past. like, of course he is scared of being judged for the obvious reasons, but if you tell me that camille never used that against him... i have to laugh. and of course magnus knows that alec is not camille, but this isn't really about alec, it's about what camille has taught him, because one thing about abuse that i think people who haven't been abused downplay the importance of is that abusers make you think that abuse is normal. and it takes years of building better relationships to unlearn certain things. after i broke up with my first abuser, i was genuinely shocked every time my partners realized i was in pain without me having to say anything or ask them to stop. and i know they weren't anything like my first abuser who either didn't care or was too self absorbed to notice. but my experience with my abuser made me think that my partners not realizing or not caring that they hurt me was normal, when it obviously wasn't. and it's not that different with magnus and alec. magnus knows alec isn't camille. magnus knows alec wouldn't use his past abuse history against him. magnus knows alec isn't just playing with his feelings. but that doesn't matter, because his mind is just set to believe that he needs to hide his feelings, be afraid of vulnerability, and never, ever ask for anything if he can avoid it

so yeah that's why i think magnus doesn't go for kisses and love declarations or anything of the sort. it's not that he doesn't want it or feel it, cuz we know he does, but i think he feels like he's imposing on alec, that he's gonna scare him off, that he's too much, that he's just setting himself up for disappointment when alec inevitably doesn't feel for magnus as strongly as magnus does, etc etc. there are like, so many elements, honestly

i think he's learning and growing tho! i mean he has been for a long while, of course, it's why he was ready to start a new relationship in the first place. but like by the end of the seasons we got to be magnus being genuinely surprised that alec would dump him just like that, initiating more kisses, proposing (granted he already knew alec was gonna do it, but still), and even breaking down in front of him, although it wasn't really by choice djahdsah

but like either way i think he's slowly realizing that everything he's come to think of as just facts (like him being unlovable or too much or whatever) were really not. and i'd like to see him growing more confident in that sense, although i just love and am so glad that he gets to be with someone who feels just as intensely as him and isn't afraid to express it at all and who just... is right with him at every step, you know? i just really love that about them, even if obviously magnus needs to learn to express himself and be as emotionally open with alec as alec is with him

#sh #malec #magnus bane #meta #magnus bane meta #abuse tw #bit of oversharing lmao rip #shadowhunters #ask #anonymous #long post #anti fanon alec #not directly but u know #camille belcourt is an abuser #camille's trash party

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aphrodite-would-be-proud · 3 years

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Could we possibly get a part two of the Armin having a crush on you while you are with ereH✨

Yep! I can't have enough of watching sweet Armin have the most conflicting feelings about ereH✨ his bestfriend betraying his trust and stealing his love what a wonderful lesson Armin will go through :)

Armin having a crush on you while you're with Eren Pt.2

{ Armin x reader, implied Eren x reader | rating: suggestive | tw:possessiveness, tw:unhealthy-friendships, tw:lowkey-toxic, tw:jealousy | angst, drama,.pinning | modern }

{ "Nocturne sur le Quai" by Henri Marius-Camille Bouvet 1859-1945 }

When mentioning love, it's normal to imagine the sort of love that's sweet, passionate and kind. The kind that could set fire that burns even brighter than the stars yet still be as soft as a feather.

The type of love that actually gets you places, moves you closer together, maybe a relationship and in the future maybe even more. The mutual type of love.

Which is why it's so hard to talk about the other more taboo and looked down upon type of love, the unrequited kind. Usually buried so deep in one's heart beneath mountains of shame.

Only emerging it's head to make itself known just before one falls asleep, adding to the list of growing daily anxieties that loom in the back of one's mind.

That's what Armin has been dealing with for the past 8 months, carrying the burden of his feelings on his shoulders. While you go about your day completely unconcerned and unaware of the longing his mind has spun for you.

And despite the piles of crumbled pages filled with poems of adoration and secret confessions currently spilling out of the trash can in his room, the earth still spins on, undisturbed and uncaring for each line he pulled from the depth of his soul on those papers.

It's almost like the world just doesn't care for his suffering, the trees only growing taller and the season only getting colder.

And you and Eren getting even more closer.

It's funny, you'd think after all this time his feelings for you would disappear or get sweeped under the rug and never spoken of again.

But only if.

Armin himself isn't sure how he not only managed to keep his feelings towards you, but how you managed to pull him in even more. With every little habit of yours he'd fall harder and harder, with every word you spoke his heart would melt more and more.

Crushes were supposed to disappear after you get to know the person, it's what these self help books he's been reading all say.

So why only knowing more about you just resulted in him wanting you even more than words can describe, despite seeing you in his bestfriend's arms on the daily his mind just won't accept it.

And yet, when he's alone at night he can't help but be hit with the cold truth that he's still alone, you're not with him. No matter how close he hugs the pillow to his chest it doesn't quite feel right...like how you'd feel against him.

The small voice in the back of his mind starts whispering again, about how he should just dismiss his unwanted love, how pathetic and childish he is, pinning after someone he can't have.

That maybe if he was a little more sane, he'd realise how he's the one who missed his shot and accept defeat. He had a whole month in advance and yet Eren didn't even wait for the weekend to ask you out on a date.

And yet, after his shame party ends and all his insecurites go to bed, he can't help but imagine what life would've been with you, countless 'what if's and endless scenarios swimming through his head.

What if he just kissed you that one time? You know the day when the two of you shared a drink under an umbrella while it rained, the sound of rain couldn't distract him from the way you'd lick your lips every now and then.

What if he drove you home that night instead of Eren? would you've invited him inside too? Maybe he'd get to see your room up close and the both of you would end up sharing childhood stories while cuddling under the blankets.

He'd tell you about the squirrels he befriended as a kid while you closed your eyes, falling asleep to the sound of his voice and the soft beating of his heart.

What if he actually spoke up when Eren began interrupting your conversations just to get your attention on him again, what if he said no and called Eren out for what he's doing.

He told Mikasa about it, he had to, otherwise he'd go crazy from overthinking alone. Not to mention she was getting worried about his unusual behaviour, after all there's only so much excuses he can come up with on why he can't hang out today.

So many lies he can fabricate about why he stopped going to Eren’s house since the day his mom mentioned you, till it starts getting suspicious.

He doesn't hate Eren...

Does he hate him?

No, he doesn't think so. He still considers him one of his bestfriends but then why does he so badly wish for Eren to disappear or go somewhere far away.

Simple, his mind would say to him, because you want him out of the way, so you can reclaim what's supposed to be yours, what you lost.

Did he lose you? You're not an object to be claimed, you chose Eren so why can't he just accept that fact.

His thoughts and Emotions are in complete chaos and conflict, he can't recognise which thoughts are actually his own and which are merely passing through.

He started daydreaming about you, a lot.

About someone he thought he'd have.

Someone he wished he could have.

Especially on early mornings when the sun shines brighter and the sane part of his mind hasn't woken up yet, he finds himself indulging in his own fantasies.

He can have boundless hope in the safety of his own mind, giving you endless love and telling himself that he's found an angel. Solely on the basis of how kind your eyes look or how lovely your laugh sounds.

Or maybe just how he melts a little everytime you touch his shoulder or hand, maybe it's the way you lean in whenever you tell him something or it's the way he can almost get high on your sweet smell alone.

He knows it's a denial of reality, but he doesn't know a better solution. He can't just barge into other's relationships with his own unfulfilled emotions.

Nor does he really want to start a proper love affair despite how alluring that idea sounds to him.

So daydreaming will do for now, where your life together is safely tucked away in the corner of his mind.

Maybe in the future, humanity is surrounded by a thought police that goes inside your brain and condemns any and every inappropriate thought you may have.

But for now he has the freedom to dream, think, hope, long and daydream about a life with you, about the way you'd feel sleeping in his arms or they way you'd smile whenever he kisses you good morning. And no future armed cyber-guards would ever know

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dirtylittlesinkrat · 3 years

Text

ranking big time rush characters based on what they’d do if i asked them to hold my drink at a party

1. Freight Train. He’d guard my drink like it was the fucking crown jewels. I love him.

2. The Jennifers. They’d yell at anyone who got near them while they were holding it.

3. Camille. She’d smack anyone who came within 10 feet of the cup.

4. Kelly. She’s a martial arts master so she’d kick anyone’s ass. Also she’d use her air horn to scare people off.

5. Katie. She’d bite people if they tried any funny business

6. Tyler. He’d hide the cup. When I returned he would like pop out of a trash can or a potted plant and be like “here’s your drink, king”

7. Logan and Kendall. They’d simply stand in a corner and his at people. Also Kendall would 1000% bring his hockey stick to the party and hit people with it

8. Mrs. Knight. Not only would she hold my drink but she’d refill it for me.

9. Buddha Bob, Lightning, and Guitar Dude. Buddha Bob would hide it, Guitar guy would get one of his adoring fans to hold it while he sang “back off, back off, back off!” Lighting would bark at people and bite them.

10. Griffin. He’d make everyone at the party sign a contract stating that they wouldn’t put anything in my drink.

11. Gustavo. He’d probably drink it but as an apology he’d get me like 10 more drinks

12. James and Carlos. They’d probably get too excited and spill it but they’d apologize profusely and offer to do anything I wanted for a week.

13. Jo. She’d put it down. I hate her so much

14. Bitters. He’d refuse to hold it unless I paid him

#big time rush #btr #this is based off of a tiktok i saw #tw swearing #tw alcohol mention #✨hyperfixation tag✨

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harrysgloves · 4 years

Text

Fine Line (Chapter 4)

>>>Catch up with the Fine Line Masterlist!<<<

word count: 1k

story summary: Since you were kids you and Harry had always walked that fine line of friends or something more. Now, pregnant by someone else, you find yourself staying with your long time best friend after things go sour with your boyfriend of 3 years.

Singlemom!Reader x Harry Styles

chapter summary: Mitch and Sarah give Harry hell.

warnings: Language

a/n: Mitch and Sarah doing God’s work. Anyways, feed back is always always ALWAYS appreciated. xx

>>><<<

"So, she's at your house right now?" Mitch asked Harry as he sat on his couch. His guitar on his lap as he peered at his friend.

"Fuckin' hell, Mitch. Yes, I've told y'three times." Harry groaned as he fiddled around with the amp on the floor of Mitch's apartment.

You had kicked him out of his own house that day. Begging him to give you, Gem, and Abby "girl time" and really if it would have been anyone else he would have said no.

But the way your Y/E/C eyes got all big and doe-like as you stuck out your pouty bottom lip at him had him out the door without a second thought.

You always knew how to work him when it came to getting what you wanted.

"Fuck man, you're in deep shit." Mitch let out a low whistle, tsking as he shook his head.

"Wot?" Harry asked, brows furrowed as he turned from what he was doing to look at Mitch.

"Yeah, Camille hates her." Sarah piped up, her fingers mindlessly spinning her drumstick as she lounged back on the arm of the other side of the couch.

"She does not." Harry scoffed as he bent back around to continue what he was doing.

Sure, she might not have exactly liked you but that was just because you two hadn't hung out a lot. Then the times you did hang around he hadn't seen you in so long he didn't particularly want to share your attention with anyone.

"Does too. Not like she doesn't have a good reason, Y/N and you are like weirdly connected." Sarah said with a shrug.

"Plus, you have a major crush on her." Mitch said as he strummed a few cords.

"When I was 6!" Harry said, finally standing up from the floor. He wasn't going to take shit from them sitting down. "Okay, from the ages of 6 to 16, but I was a kid."

"She was your first kiss." Sarah pointed out as she sat up. Her eyes daring him to argue with him that you didn't hold a special place in his heart.

"So?" He asked, hand running through his hair as he licked his bottom lip.

"And you lost your virginity to her." Mitch said, Sarah's head nodding in agreement like they had managed to crack the code on Harry's life.

"I regret telling y'two anythin' 'bout my life." He sighed, sitting down with his head in his hands.

Sure, you two had been close like that before but it wasn't like you were close like that now. You hadn't been like that in a long time. The door to being anything more than friends was shut a long time ago.

"Oh, don't forget the time he got trashed on tour when she showed up to a show with your childhood best friend, Jesse. You know the one she's madly in love with." Sarah said with a mischievous smile on her face as she continued to bring up all the glaring examples of how much he cared about you.

"I didn't get drunk because 'f that."

"Oh really? So, seeing her with your friend didn't bother you?" Sarah continued to question, Mitch smiling to himself as he started to play the beginning of a song.

"Nope." He shook his head, hands running down his jean covered thighs.

He hated being questioned about this. About you. He swallowed thickly as he looked away from his two friends. There wasn't anything still between you two. There couldn't be anything between you two. He had Camille to think about and you had a baby on the way. But he could still feel that edge of doubt circling in his mind. What would he do if you finally gave him a chance to be more than friends?

"What about the time Jeff hit on her at your party, while she was in to visit Gem?" Mitch asked snapping Harry out of his thoughts. Mitch's fingers continued playing the cords to a song Harry swore he knew but couldn't place.

"That's different. She was with Jess then. I was just trying to get him to lay off." Mitch just nodded his head, smiling with a hum, as he looked to Sarah.

"And what? Are we gonna pretend Woman isn't about her or half your last album?" She questioned as the tempo of Mitch's song picked up his voice bellowing obnoxiously as Sarah started to laugh.

"And she's watching him with those eyes And she's lovin' him with that body I just know it And he's holding her in his arms late, late at night"

"Okay, that's it. 'M done."

"You know I wish I had Jessie's girl." They sang loudly and very off-key as he walked out of Mitch's apartment.

"Harry, we were just giving you shit." Sarah said as she followed him out the door, her hand stopping him by grabbing his wrist.

"I know." He sighed as he leaned back against the wall, hands running down his face. "Jus' can't start thinking like that about her again. She rips my heart out without even trying and then I'm a mess for months."

"Have you ever told her?" She asked as his eyes flashed away from her. A lump in his throat as he remembered the night he told you.

"Once, right before I went on my first tour." He admitted, trying with everything in him to not remember the pain of coming clean about how he felt just to be shot down.

"And?" She asked, her eyes connecting with his pain-filled ones as he tried to get a grip on himself.

"I told her how I felt and she turned it down. That's all and it hurt, y'know? And when I got back..." He trailed off, swallowing that feeling of losing you to someone else. Even though he knew you were never really his.

"We were just Y/N and Harry, best mates." He sighed, head pressed back against the wall as he looked down to Sarah.

"Right." She said totally not believing his bullshit. "Best mates."

"Yup." He shook his head, knowing that he was lying to himself. "Jus' best mates."

#Harry Styles #Harry #Harry Styles x Reader #Harry Styles x You #Harry Styles x Y/N #Harry Styles Fanfic #Harry Styles Fanfiction #Fanfic #Fanfiction #Writing #Mine #FL #Fine Line

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takaraphoenix · 3 years

Text

Shadowhunters Recap: Season 1

[all Shadowhunters Recaps here] @nightingalestakeflight

All the while, Jocelyn and Luke changed their last names and lived in peaceful hiding in the mundane world. Jocelyn became an artist, Luke became a cop, both raised the baby together and tried to protect her from Valentine by actively gaslighting her for eighteen years. And, like, not in the way fandom uses it. They were so busy convincing Clary that reality isn't reality, every time she saw something supernatural, that they took her to a powerful warlock named Magnus Bane to actually alter her memories.

(Clary Fray and Luke Garroway, who should be her dad, but her mom was an idiot. If you liked it then you shoulda put a ring on it, Jocelyn)

That works until Clary's eighteenth birthday, when she goes out to celebrate with her best friend the nerd Simon - and gets dragged into the supernatural.

(Clary Fray and Simon Lewis, best friends since diapers)

They run into Alec, Izzy and Jace, who are there on a demon slaying mission. The thing is, those three are using their rune-magic to be invisible to mundies - which works on Simon, who can’t see them, but doesn’t work on Clary, who can see them, since she is a Shadowhunter. Clary is startled and when she runs back home - it’s to find her apartment trashed, her mom gone and a demon waiting for her. Thankfully for her, Jace was intrigued by the supposed mundie who could see him and followed her (because it’s not like Shadowhunters just casually live in the world; there aren’t that many anymore and they live in the Institute and work there too).

Jace gets very involved from the get-go, Izzy is very friendly with Clary and is also on board with helping her, Alec is incredibly against this idea. He’s outvoted.

(Clary Fray and Izzy Lightwood. Looks gay. Isn’t actually gay though)

They investigate and find out that Clary is Valentine Morgenstern’s daughter. At the same time, Simon - who may not have understood what was going on but wasn’t going t let his best friend do this alone - gets kidnapped by vampires and, consequently, turned into a vampire by (Magnus Bane’s ex-girlfriend) Camille.

Their investigations lead them to Magnus himself, since he was the one who had taken Clary’s memories as a child. To piece the whole picture together, they think they have to get those memories back. Additionally to everything else, Magnus is also the High Warlock - basically, the warlock in charge of all warlocks in New York (though he bears the title “of Brooklyn”, which makes little sense and is unnecessarily confusing).

(Magnus Bane, magnificent warlock)

Naturally, that doesn’t work out so easily, because Magnus had fed Clary’s memories to a memory-demon “for safe-keeping” and to get them back, they would each have to sacrifice a memory of the person they love the most. For Alec, that’s Jace. Not because they’re parabatai, but because he’s in love with Jace - a thing he has been hiding for many years at this point now, so this makes Alec panic and break the circle and thus spell, causing Clary’s memories to be lost forever due to just how deep he is in the closet.

Meanwhile Luke, whom Clary hadn’t sought out due to a misunderstanding after overhearing half a conversation, is revealed to be a werewolf and Valentine’s parabatai and he also claims the title of alpha of the pack now, so he can protect Clary better. They now also learn about the existence of a Jonathan and about an ancient artifact known as the Mortal Cup that Jocelyn had stolen when she disappeared.

This mess unfolding in New York also reaches the higher-ups and the Clave sends an envoy to seize control of the New York Institute from the Lightwoods, because the whole Valentine-revival-party apparently made them think that maybe it’s not a great look to have two former Circle members be the leaders of an Institute.

(Lydia Branwell, badass envoy of the Clave)

Alec, still very deep in the closet, thinks it’s a good idea to get married to Lydia. Perfect beard. Also perfect solution to getting his family back in power, because usually a married couple rules an Institute.

I’m skipping over some minor details here, because they don’t factor in the overall plot, but Izzy’s Seelie on-again-off-again boyfriend Meliorn gets arrested and rescued by Izzy, which causes her to get arrested, Camille (the vampire clan-leader) gets fired because she turned Simon into a vampire without his consent and instead Raphael (who is like a son to Magnus) is promoted.

We are now going on a side-quest to an alternate universe because - and, just, don’t question certain things, they don’t necessarily make sense, they make plot - they need a thing that they can’t find in their reality and Jocelyn was carrying a shard to a portal so Clary goes seek that portal to check in that alternate reality to find the thing. It gave us a visual of soft pastel Jace, so I’m not necessarily complaining here.

Meanwhile, Inquisitor Herondale arrives in New York as judge for Izzy’s trial. She’s basically the highest figure of authority in the Shadowhunter society.

(Inquisitor Imogen Herondale. A GILF with power and authority. Kill me now)

While Imogen, Izzy, Alec, Lydia and also Magnus - who jumps in as Izzy’s lawyer for no really understandable reason (meaning: he is not a lawyer) - are busy with the trial, Jace and Clary, on their way back from the alternate universe, find Michael Wayland. Very much not dead. Only that he’s not Michael Wayland, of course, he’s Valentine, who once again took that form to mess with his children’s head.

This time, by telling them they’re both his children. Which, they are. But he makes them believe that they are both his biological children and that Jace is Jonathan #1. Since no one aside from Valentine knew that there were two Jonathans, this works. Because, well, at that point in time it made quite sense; if Michael was really Valentine, then Michael’s son Jonathan must be Valentine’s son Jonathan (at which point, let me note: Shadowhunters are not creative when it comes to naming their children).

This reveal is very disturbing for Clary and Jace, who over the course of the past eleven days of knowing each other have developed a mutual crush on each other. (Yes, all of that has happened in less than two weeks so far. Which, at this point in time, is actually still a believable timeline, honestly.) Also, they find Jocelyn here, with Valentine, but she’s in a magic coma.

Izzy is cleared off all charges, Lydia and Alec are pretty much set for their wedding, yet another acquaintance of Magnus’ comes up as useful in all of this but he turns out dead, Magnus is developing a crush on Alec and is being pushing about Alec maybe not marrying a woman considering he’s gay as a rainbow. Which Alec doesn’t want to hear, because the gay’s gotta stay in the closet and he also can’t quite deal with his own blossoming attraction to Magnus.

It’s the day of Lydia and Alec’s wedding (after a long-lasting four day engagement)! And everything goes to shit. Naturally.

Magnus crashes Lydia and Alec’s wedding in the plot of a twelve year old’s first fanfiction, dramatically sweeping Alec off his feet in front of all of his co-workers and family, despite the whole rampant homophobia and the fact that Alec was so deep in the closet he was ready to marry a woman just a second ago. This one wasn’t written for the plot, it was written for the ship, hence the personal judgement of “a twelve year old’s first fanfiction”, because the dramatic moment’s serious repercussions are just... skipped. Shadowhunters kind of forget to be homophobic from hereon out and Lydia is very okay with this public embarrassment too, all works out well and Alec has gained a boyfriend with zero personal consequences despite having spent all his life fearing said consequences!

(A side note: Tackling big topics such as homophobia and then just not actually tackling them and dealing with the realistic outfall of them is one of this show’s biggest flaws. They just kind of pretend the big, systemic problem... goes away.)

In the aftermath of the failed wedding, a close friend of the Lightwoods betrays them and steals the Mortal Cup. (It had been hidden inside a tarot card that Jocelyn’s best friend had kept safe. They had found it and wanted to bring it to the Clave after the wedding.)

The group - Magnus, Alec, Jace, Izzy, Clary, Simon - chase after it, but Valentine tricks them. He threatens to kill them all if Jace doesn’t go with him. Jace chooses his friends’ safety over his own and goes with his abuser.

#Season 1 #Shadowhunters #Shadowhunters Season 1 #Phoe's Shadowhunters Recap #Phoe's Random Show Rants

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camillegladstone · 3 years

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When 5th (6th?) of December, 1979, after Camille’s party Where: a very trashed Gryffindor common room Who: @pterpettigrew

Although in the early hours of the party Camille might have told you, if you’d asked her, that she wished for it to never end, now she was relieved that it did. No one had warned her of this, but wrapping up a party was hard — patiently explaining to the most inebriated drunks that the party was over (while still being a little tipsy herself), convincing her friends that yes, they could go, and she would handle the mess herself, and then, well, handling the mess. It was all exhausting, and her sore knees were testimony to that. This exhaustion was, however, positively drenched in the satisfaction that the whole night had brought her. It felt like such a fairytale, the thought that all these people were there to celebrate her. It made the exhaustion easily worthwhile.

Peter stood behind to help with the cleaning, and she didn’t protest against it, because it meant they could have a moment of theirs after the busy night. And she wanted that, of course. Thowing her weight onto one of the couches, she took a break to proceed the cleaning with spellwork, wand sticking out and deep breath escaping her. “What’s the most ridiculous thing you can spot on my t-shirt?” She asked Peter over a yawn.

#c:peter #c6 peter

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normal-thoughts-official · 3 years

Note

When/how do you think Ragnor and Catrina realized camille was being abusive towards Magnus?

Btw, I love u❤

fantastic question anon, i love YOU! i think that depends on a couple of factors. i think people who have already been or know people who have been in an abusive relationship are more likely to notice the warning signs, and/or to interpret stuff like the person pulling away as a sign of abuse. whereas people who haven't lived through it and aren't informed on it might not even realize what's going on until before it's over, and even be angry

so because we live in a hell world and catarina is a black woman, i think she is more likely to notice the warning signs than ragnor is, because black women are more likely to be in abusive relationships than white men. i'm not saying catarina herself has been in an abusive relationship necessarily but presumably her family has plenty of black women and she's also more likely to also be friends with other woc and marginalized ppl than ragnor is because again, hell world. so she has a higher chance of having been in a similar position before, although of course that's no set in stone rule and ragnor's circle of friends does seem to have a lot of marginalized ppl (and i hc him as aroace which makes him queer which puts him in an entirely different position than a straight white man and probably means something about the relationships he builds, but anyway) BUT my point is, i think catarina is more likely to notice earlier

i think ragnor is pretty perceptive tho, and also that they are pretty close and talk a lot, so i think once catarina noticed she would have talked to ragnor, and it wouldn't take ragnor long to realize that she was right

so okay when would they notice? i think that's always a slow process but i'm pretty sure their suspicions would first arise when magnus started to ditch them and stuff like parties and outings because of camille. first of all, i don't think that's like magnus at all, and second of all, there is an obvious difference between "i'm in the honeymoon phase" and "sorry, i don't think it's a good idea, my partner might not like it" or even "yeah! that sounds great!... just let me ask my partner about it". big difference

so that already has catarina in particular very wary of her because magnus is not the kind to ditch his friends because of a partner and the way he's acting about this is weird. so, she decides to keep an eye and maybe even put this to the test by making a surprise visit and invite him to a party like, right then doijadiosaj and she takes him out and she notices that magnus is Out Of It and he seems even a little... tense and scared and almost paranoid. and like, this is relatively at the beginning of their relationship so she wouldn't have been Horrible about it yet but at the beginning the person expresses enough control and discomfort with these things for you to be kind of uncomfortable even if you don't really realize that it's because you're Scared Of Hurting Your Parner

so THAT gets catarina really worried, because if magnus can't relax because he's afraid of camille's reaction, and worse, if he doesn't REALIZE that's why, that's the reddest a flag can get in such an early stage of their relationship. she tries to talk to magnus about it but magnus is the king of deflecting and basically waves her worries off. which just makes her more worried, but what is she supposed to do? she knows that pushing will only makes things worse and make it easier for camille to turn magnus against her and cut their ties. so, she lets it go and pretends that she buys his excuses. that's probably when she also talks to ragnor. ragnor probably had noticed that something was off but he hadn't really thought that it would be something super bad, and i think he'd still have his doubts about it, but well, he has that on the back of his mind now. and besides, he trusts catarina's judgement and he can admit when she is more qualified than him to assess something. it's why their relationship works

the first time they say anything is probably when magnus tells him about some fight they've had. probably because magnus told camille that he was upset about something she did - like idk, making fun of him in public about a topic that's sensitive to him. and like magnus wasn't even mad at her, he had never mentioned that whatever joke she made was off limits or related to a sensitive topic, he just wanted to communicate and let her know that it had hurt him, and she pretty much Exploded at him. and somehow turned it all around so it was magnus' fault for accusing her of trying to hurt him on purpose when that's not what magnus did, and now magnus pretty much wanted advice on how to apologize and let her know that he loves her

so catarina and ragnor try to subtly poke holes in her logic and show him that he has nothing to apologize for, without straight up being like "she's manipulating you" because Kids, That Does Not Go Well. and it makes magnus... heartbreakingly confused in that way abused people get when the logic they have been being shoved under shows cracks that would mean something too awful to even imagine

and catarina is a fucking wreck because at this point, she is sure of it and it makes her relive... so much trauma of other people she's seen go through that and lost and/or her own relationships if you want to go with that. and she doesn't want to lose magnus or have magnus go through that but she doesn't know what to do and she KNOWS that next step is magnus pulling away from her and ragnor no matter how careful she is

she probably gets the rare Comforting Hug from ragnor once magnus leaves and she also talks to dot and maybe elias? you know, their other friends. and they have a Catarina Comforting Day and hear her stories and cuddle and you know, try to make her feel better. and eventually they try to devise some kind of game plan so they can try to help magnus get out of this

it all goes to shit of course when they have the rare outing with camille, and camille is Obviously Refusing To Interact With Them If She Can Avoid It which is classic abuse thing - sure, i'll go see your friends, but you have to choose between interacting with them and me, so really you don't actually get to see with your friends because you'll feel bad that i'm isolated and eventually seeing your friends will feel either pointless or nervewracking cuz it feels like juggling your relationships. and if you want to see them without me i am going to act like you have something to hide and i'm a victim

anyway! so they notice that and they try to undermine that tactic by, you know, interacting with her a lot. so camille switches it up and tries to pick up a fight, and lo and behold, she succeeds - i know ragnor doesn't look like the kind of guy who loses his temper easily but i think when you push his buttons he is VERY bad at hiding it and half a snappy comment is all camille needs to lash out at him and play the victim. she's good

so that's when their plan gets fucked and everything goes to hell because then it's just too easy for camille to isolate magnus from his friends with really just a few tweaks to the previous tactic i mentioned - "are you really picking them over me, magnus? you're gonna keep hanging out with them when they are so rude to me, probably tell you all sorts of things about me, try to get you to break up with me? can't you see how manipulative they are? how they're trying to turn you against me? why do you insist so much on seeing them when you know how much that hurts me?"

and done

catarina and ragnor probably fight after that because god DAMN it, she fucking tOLD him that they had to be careful! and she's been swallowing all kinds of shitty comments from her but ragnor just had to fucking lose it at the first provocation, didn't he? and god knows how long it'd take for them to reach him after that, because camille is already preemptively making him think that they are trying to manipulate him to break up with her out of jealousy so he won't listen to anything they say directly. and she's right, of course, and ragnor is out of his depth and doesn't UNDERSTAND how these things go and how much this slip up will affect them in the future

i like to think that ragnor apologizes to her and catarina probably... has a breakdown because fuck she is worried and she is reliving way too many nightmares here. and ragnor is actually very tender and hugs her and apologizes and kisses her forehead and tells her that he's going to fix it. and he actually swallows his pride and apologizes to camille just to try and turn this thing around, but, well. the damage is done. and really, there is only so much friends can do when dealing with something like this. at the end of the day, they did all they could

and from then on they try their best to be there for him and pull magnus out of the camille-created isolation, but there's only so much they can do, and it's up to magnus to notice and get help to get rid with her. they'll always try to be his support system, but well. it's hard

and of course eventually magnus does get rid of her claws and catarina, ragnor, dot, elias etc., are all there for him when he does. and he probably feels guilty because he pushed them away but really they are just so RELIEVED that he's finally free of her. and him and catarina probably get a teary hug full of apologies for things that aren't their fault, and they try to make up for lost time by spending as much time as possible together now. especially because i think that it also hurts catarina to have her friends pull away - she obviously yearns for family, for closeness, i don't think she does well with people pulling away from her, she wants the kind of closeness that comes from routine and she used to have that with magnus and the rest of the immortal squad, you know? and magnus knows that, so, he tries to compensate

and eventually they start to heal their relationships, but magnus still has a long way to heal himself, but well. he'll get there. they are together and all

#sh #shadowhunters #magnus bane #catarina loss #ragnor fell #camille belcourt is an abuser #brotp: comfortable shoes #brotp: my dear little cabbage #immortal squad #abuse tw #racism tw #misoginy tw #misoginoir mention #ask #anonymous #meta #kinda #camille's trash party #i have always wanted to be The Camille Angst Blog is it finally happening pls say yes

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obxlife · 4 years

Text

To Me (Rafe x Reader)

A/N: I swear this is like the millionth Rafe request I’ve gotten lol. Tbh I love it, keep them Rafe requests coming. Btw the song recommended by anon was amazing! I totally recommend all of you listen to it. Also, I’m not really sure if I portrayed Rafe very well, but oh well. I still like this fic.

Pairing: Rafe x Reader

Word count: 4,076

Request: A Rafe fic where him and the reader dated for a while and broke up because his attitude got overbearing and they run into each other at a party or something? And like he can’t take his eyes off her. I’ve been listening to the song “To Me” by Alina Baraz and it put that kind of imagery in my head

Summary: After two months of hiding away from everybody (and kind of regretting the fact that you ended your last relationship), your best friend manages to pull you out of bed and take you to a party. However, you obviously run into your ex. And from there things only seemed to escalate.

Warnings: Swearing, underage drinking, a bit of angst (if you squint your eyes), mentions of drug use.

TO ME

It’s been a while since you heard from me

I stay alone

Protect my energies

Found a little love

Lost my sanity

(Can we do it over?)

And then one day it just came to me

(Can we do it over?)

Camille walked into your room, scrunching up her nose. She saw you under your covers, scrunched up in a ball, unmoving.

“It stinks in here,” she remarked. You stuck your head out from under your duvet and looked at her as she began to pick up the trash around your room (mostly chocolate wrappers, empty ice cream tubs, and tissues) and tidy up. “How long has it been since you last went out?”

You sighed. “Twenty minutes. I need to go to the kitchen for some food.”

Camille gave you a hard look as if you signal that your answer was not exactly what he was looking for. “I mean, how long has it been since you left your house?”

You tried to think if you had even left your house recently, but came up empty-handed. “I guess… since the breakup, yeah.”

Camille groaned. “Oh, God. Are you serious?”

You tried to glare at her, but ultimately knew she was right. You had no excuses for being cooped up in your room anymore.

“Look,” she began, taking a seat next to you on the bed. “I know you loved him. And I know you miss him. But it’s been two months already. And, let’s be honest, towards the end he was being a bit overbearing.”

You gave her a soft smile, thankful she hadn’t even mentioned his name.

She was right. Your best friend was always right.

You sighed and told her so, smiling as she did the same.

“Okay, so now that you have decided to be a normal human again,” you made an offended noise at this, “Will you please go to a party with me?”

Your eyes widened. “What about baby steps? This would be my first time going out again! I can’t just immediately jump into partying!”

Camille gave you her famous puppy eyes. “Please,” she begged, “Austin is going to be there and we were flirting earlier today. Just do this for me!”

You sighed. “Wouldn’t people find it weird if I just start partying around again, like old times? It’s almost as if I didn’t even grief over the end of my year-long relationship.”

You put an emphasis on the last words of your statement to make your point, but Camille quickly disregarded this.

“Trust me,” she assured, “Nobody will think that because he began to party two days after you guys had called it off.”

“What?” you screeched. Hearing this information pained you. “Really?”

Camille nodded sadly. But then she beamed at you. “But, now you can show up looking super hot and be like ‘Him? Pfff.’ So, maybe this is better!”

You laughed at your friend’s antics to cheer you up. She had managed to convince you (once again) about something you weren’t sure about. This was exactly the dynamic that had always been part of your friendship.

You pretended to groan, although you were actually excited to go out and see your friends again, and said, “Fine. I’ll go. But I’m only doing this because you begged me to.”

Camille shrieked in joy. “Yes, yes, yes! Okay, now hop in the shower because I wasn’t lying when I said that you stink.”

Standing up and moving towards your bathroom, you threw a snarky remark at her over your shoulder before asking her to pick out an outfit for you. With that, you jumped into the steaming water.

I'm not asking for too much

I'm asking the wrong motherfucker

Just 'cause we're in love

Doesn't mean that we're right for each other

Can't keep makin' a home out of you

Just 'cause you're asking me to

I'm not asking for too much

(Can we do it over?)

Once you began to wash yourself off, you began to imagine possible scenarios of what might go done during the party. The one that scared you the most was running into him.

To be honest, the relationship had been amazing. At first, you and him were so completely infatuated with each other. You guys were having sex (which was amazing), going on dates all the time, being honest with each other, everything. But then, he turned eighteen. And his dad began to bug him about joining his business.

He began to push you away. he was stressed and all you wanted to do was help him and love him and show him that he was doing fine and that it was okay. But he didn’t want that. He began to do drugs - not weed, but harder stuff. Stuff that scared you and made him act out of place all the time. Stuff that made you afraid of him.

But then, every time he was sober he would make it better again, and promise that he would never do that again and that it had been the last time. However, next time always came around and the cycle repeated himself.

In an attempt to take his stress out on other things that weren’t drugs, he began to pick fights with the kids from the Cut. You had begged him to leave them alone. To stop going around and punching them. He just wouldn’t listen.

And then came the screaming. He would scream and scream and scream at you for hours on end. And you took it. You thought that the screaming was better than him taking all of those drugs and punching all of those kids. You thought that the screaming was better than him driving around on his motorcycle, pissed off at everything, and risking the chance of having an accident.

In public, both of you put up a facade of the perfect couple. He was trying to make his dad proud by having a stable relationship. He was trying to prove that if he was mature enough for a stable relationship he was mature enough to help out with the business. And all you wanted to do was see him happy, so you kept the facade on in front of everyone.

Your friends would all compliment you on the amazing boyfriend you had. But when you finally had the courage to tell them what was truly going on behind closed doors they urged you to escape. But they didn’t understand. Couldn’t they see you loved him? Couldn’t they see that he just needed your help?

However, they would turn these questions on you.

“Can’t you see that loving him is hurting you? Helping him is hurting you, Y/N!”

You wouldn’t listen. All you wanted - no, all you needed - was him. And you had him. And since he wanted more than only you, you were helping him in every way possible to achieve that.

Five months after he had turned eighteen, however, he did something that made you change your perspective on your relationship. This screaming match, in particular, had begun just like any other.

He was drunk and high off his ass, and you were begging him that this was the last time he would do this. He began to scream out that this kept him grounded, getting high made him feel normal and better and amazing. He said that being high made him feel better than you had ever made him feel. As you began to cry, he kept throwing out words that felt like punches to your gut. And then he finally said it. The one thing that had scarred you in your past, and he was using it to get at you.

“Maybe you were the reason your mother left you.”

After that, he walked out of your room, leaving you on the floor, chocking on your sobs.You had called Camille over, and as she rocked you back and forth you came up with a decision. This was the last time. This was the last time Rafe was going to use you as he had in the past three months.

The following day you went to the Cameron residence. Rafe met you at the door, and when he leaned down to give you a hug, you stepped back.

Rafe frowned. Normally, you wouldn’t even expect an apology for what he had done and hugged him back.

“We need to talk,” you told him.

He nodded. “Okay. What about?”

You sighed through your nostrils, closing your eyes for a small second. “About last night.”

Rafe’s frown deepened. You had never wanted to talk about his episodes before. You had always ignored them and moved on. You had ever since he had shut you down the first time you had brought them up.

Tears were prickling your eyes because you still loved him after everything he had done. But you had realized that you loved yourself more.

“I can’t keep doing this, Rafe,” you spoke out, your voice breaky. “I can’t keep helping you and ignoring the pain that it brings me.”

Rafe shook his head, not believing that this was happening. “No, don’t say that.”

“How do you want me not to say that?” you belted out. “I’ve been exerting myself every day and every night to help you through all of your issues. And I’ve had to go through your screaming at me and taking drugs and making me worry. And I’m done.”

Rafe kept on shaking his head, tears falling down his cheeks. “No, baby, please. I love you. I’ll change, I promise.”

You scoffed. “That’s what you always say.”

“But I do. I love you. And I know I can change. Just give me a chance.”

You shook your head and sighed. The tears that had fallen down your cheek were now trailing down your neck. Rafe moved forward to wipe them, but you stepped back. “I know, Rafe. I love you too, but that doesn’t mean we’re made for each other.”

Rafe remained quiet, the hand that had attempted to reach out to you still extended in the air.

“And even if I love you, Rafe, I need to protect myself. You’ve brought me a lot of pain.”

Rafe tried to make things better. “Y/N, baby, I swear I’ll make it better. I’ll get off the coke and I’ll talk things out with my dad.”

You just shook your head. “I’m sorry.”

You turned away, your back facing everything you had once wanted.

“So that’s it?” he called out, desperately wanting you to look at him again. “Everything we went through down the drain.”

You continued to walk away.

Here's to

Good people, good nights

Good highs, good health

Some tears, some stress

But I count my blessings

Here's to

Good music, great sex

Little time to feel alive

Little time to get it right

You hopped out of the shower and dried yourself off.

Camille had picked an outfit that was perfect. It made you look great and it was really comfortable.

You let your mind drift off as she did your hair and makeup. You didn’t really mind whatever she did.

You both hopped into the car, Camille behind the wheel and you in the passenger’s seat. You placed your bag at your feet and stuffed a vodka bottle inside. Once you stopped at the house where the party was already in full swing, you gave Camille the bag and she passed you the keys. You were not about to get drunk when still grieving from a breakup.

Walking in, you scanned the room. The couches were all covered in bedsheets and pushed into the walls. The porch was littered with drunk teenagers, some talking, some dancing, some throwing up and some grinding on each other.

Camille grabbed onto your hand and pulled you through the house. You finally ended in the kitchen where your other friends stood.

“Y/N,” Abigail screamed when she saw you. Ruby and Annabeth turned towards you, hugging you tightly. “We thought it would be another month before we saw you!”

You laughed and joked around with them. “No, Camille managed to pull me out of bed. But I’m glad I came. I’ve missed you, guys!”

With that, shots were poured from the vodka that was in your bag into four glasses, which they all drank quickly, begging you to join them. You simply denied their advances and stated that you were going to rive them home. This shut them up (you knew they always went to parties with no drives back to their places, so you knew this would keep them quiet).

After two more shot rounds your friends dragged you to the dance floor, where music was playing loudly and made your heart thump with its rhythm.

You felt eyes upon you but tried to shake that feeling off. Not being able to do so, you looked around for who might be looking at you but didn't realize who it could be.

Rafe had turned away from you when he had noticed your search. He hadn’t been able to take his eyes off of you.

He thought you looked amazing, and his heart clenched at not being able to wrap his arm around your waist.

The break up had been hard on him. But he was determined to keep the promise he had made you. He had stopped doing coke the day you walked away. He had talked to his father the day you had walked away. And he had headed out to parties he didn’t want to go to in hopes of bumping into you.

He wanted to be better for you. He didn’t want to be the source of your pain as you had stated he had been. He didn’t want to be damaging you more than helping you. But that had been exactly what he had done. He had broken you down and hurt you more than he wanted to admit.

You looked better without him. He knew that for sure. There was a smile on your face as you jokingly threw it back on Camille - a smile that hadn’t been there with him for the last months of the relationship. A smile that he hadn’t witnessed in moths. A smile that lit up the room where you were standing, with a loght so blinding that it made his heart clench.

How could he have let himself go as far as he did? As far as to push you away from him?

Rafe stood from the couch, his desire to be closer to you consuming him. However, he stepped further away from you towards a spot on the porch that was empty. A spot where he could think in peace and fall into his own self-pity.

You, on the other hand, hadn´t even thought of Rafe. You were so busy dancing and having fun with your friends that there was nothing else in your mind at the moment.

Camille had left you with Ruby, Annabeth, and Abigail as she had gone off into a room with Austin, but they were slowly branching off from you as they searched for their preys of the night. Deciding not to get involved with any boys (you did not want to have a rebound), you headed towards the kitchen to get a cup of water. Then, you turned towards the porch, where it would be less stuffy and easier to breathe.

Walking out, you tried to find a spot that was empty or kind of isolated. After two full circles around the porch you decided to stop next to a guy that seemed familiar to you, but you couldn’t recognize because his back was all you could see. However, looking down at his polo shirt you knew exactly who was in front of you. Rafe.

You tried to silently walk by him, but just as you placed your foot down to walk away, he sighed and turned towards you. His eyes widened to almost twice their size, and you were sure your eyes looked the same.

“Um, h-hey,” you spoke out, trying to be polite. You cleared your throat, as it suddenly felt even dryer than it was back inside while you were dancing.

“Hey,” Rafe said softly, not believing that you were actually talking to him. He nervously put his hands in his pockets (a habit you knew all too well) before asking, “How are you?”

You stepped closer to the railing and brought your cup up to your lips. Then you placed your arms on top of the railing of the porch and looked out towards the water that surrounded the house.

“I’m good,” you answered, lying. In all honesty, your heart was racing in your chest and your hands were so sweaty you could feel the cup you held slipping from your hands. “What about you?”

“Oh, I’m good, I guess,” he spoke out. He wasn’t expecting you to stand next to him at all. In fact, he was almost certain that you were going to try to escape from him as soon as he responded to your greeting.

You both fell silent, not really knowing what to say. When had your relationship turned you into this? Into strangers?

Before, even when things were bad, there would always be some form of communication flowing between both of you. Wether it was a soft whisper, small talk, screams, or moans, you were never quiet around each other. So, feeling awkward and wanting you to know how much he had improved recently, Rafe said, “Um, I wanted you to know that I stopped dealing coke. And doing it, as well.”

You turned towards the blond you knew so well. A smile adorned your lips as you felt proud of him. “Really? When did that happen?”

Rafe felt weird talking about this around you. Wiping his hands on his pants, the only reason he could think as to why he had stopped was you.

“The day after we broke up.”

Silence fell over you once again before you said, “I’m proud of you. And happy for you.”

Rafe nodded, looking down at his hands. His thumbs were twidling around each other. Next to him, your fingers gripped onto your cup, as to avoid any fidgeting.

“Thanks,” the green-eyed boy said truthfully. “I also spoke to my dad.”

You almost gasped in surprise. “When? How did it go?”

Rafe turned towards you and was surprised to find that you were already looking at him. He stared into your eyes, getting lost in their depths, and turned forward once again.

“The same day I stopped doing coke. And it went well - or as well as it could go. But we dealt with everything that had to be dealt with.”

Now your smile was consuming your features. You were afraid to do so, but you softly took his hand in yours and gave it a light squeeze. Then you let him go.

“I told you things would get better if you spoke to him.”

Rafe nodded. He always knew that you were right, but his fear had kept him from doing all of those things you used to beg him to do. But then, after his biggest fear came true (which was losing you), he pushed his temors aside. He would do anything to make you happy, even if you were not with him.

Clearing his throat, Rafe said, “So, what’s going on with you? How’s life?”

You knew you had to lie. You were not about to admit that you had spent two months locked in your room because of the fear of seeing him. You tried to rake your brain as to think about what to say.

“I haven’t been up to much, honestly,” you began. That wasn’t a lie. “I’ve mainly been hanging with the girls and just going to the beach and stuff.”

That was a lie. But he didn't need to know that. Instead, you asked him, “What about you? I’ve heard you’ve turned into a party boy.”

Rafe laughed, noticing the teasing tone of your voice.

“Ugh, please don’t remind me. Most of them sucked.”

You furrowed your brows. You had thought he had been going to parties to have fun, but it seemed as if that hadn’t happened.

“Why did you keep going to them if they sucked?”

Rafe breathed in and held the air inside his chest. This was the opportunity to steer yur conversation towards your relationship.

“I was hoping I would run into you,” he admitted. Rafe was afraid to see your reaction so he turned away from you. Instead, you whipped around towards him, trying to see if there was sincerity behind his eyes.

“Oh,” you replied bluntly and stupidly. You cleared your throat and stood a little straighter, akward again.

Rafe sighed before deciding that this was probably going to be his only chance to truly speak to you. And he was sure if this conversation ended, he would never get a chance like this one again.

“Look, Y/N,” he began. “I kept my promise. The one I made when you were walking away. And I’m actually trying to keep it.”

He paused, taking your hand in his. You turned to him again, staring straight into his eyes. “I know I fucked up big time. And that I hurt you. But I’m trying to be better for you. Like really trying.”

You weren’t pulling away from him, but you weren’t showing any emotions either. He tok your other hand in his, standing straighter above you.

“And I know that maybe we aren’t meant to be like you said, but when we were together it felt right. It felt good. It was amazing. And I miss that. I want that back.”

You were slighty shaking your head as tears began to gather at the corners of your eyes.

“So I don’t really care if we are or aren’t meant to be because I want to be with you. And maybe if we grow together we will eventually be meant to be. I want to try to be meant to be with you.”

You were shocked and weren’t responding. Rafe took this as a bad sign and let go of your hands.

“I’m sorry,” he said, taking a step back from you. “I just wanted you to know that.”

As he began to walk away you realized that this was the kind of reassurance you needed from him. He loved you enough to let you go. He loved you enough to make himself better for you. He loved you enough to be the best version of himself as possible. But now he was walking away because he thought you didn’t want him anymore. But you did.

“Rafe!” you called out. “Rafe, wait!”

Walking towards him, you wrapped your arms around him. You hugged for what felt like an eternity. The music was thumping around you and kids were making out with each other but you and Rafe felt like it was only you right now.

“Rafe,” you said. Your hands were on his face as you pushed a little away from him, staring into his eyes. “I love you. And I’m willing to be with you if you are willing to be the best version of yourself.”

He nodded vigorously.

“No, Rafe, listen to me before you agree,” you laughed. “I know that the best version of yourself, the one you were before you turned eighteen, is the person that is meant to be with me.”

Rafe nodded vigorously again.

“I need you to try and find him.”

“I’m him when I’m with you.”

You smiled at him. You could see a future with this Rafe. The Rafe that was clean and that had a good relationship with his father and that was collected and calm. You knew that this didn't mean that being back together with him wasn’t going to be easy, as he would always have this part of his past, but it was definitely going to be better. It was going to be better than if it was with anyone else.

You leaned forward and kissed him, feeling his lips respond against yours. You pulled away and smiled at the man in front of you. He was everything you wanted and more. And he was trying his best for you. And that was all that mattered.

#outer banks #obx #obx netflix #rafe cameron #drew starkey

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caps-lockdown · 4 years

Text

Harden My Heart

A/N: This is my entry for Mimi’s one hit wonder challenge! I chose “Harden my Heart” by Quarterfish.

@captain-rogers-beard is an incredible writer and even though I’m far from worthy of her existence and writing talent I decided to take a stab at my first writing challenge! Congrats on 11k!

Y/N Y/L/N format, and no beta so just me owning my mistakes. Bold Italics are thoughts.

Pairings: Steve Rogers x Fem!Reader

Words: 3,845 (Ish)

Warnings: Some angst with unrequited love, but there is a happy ending! Language, alcohol use (a lot of it), and some crude humor. Hopefully this comes across as funny as I imagined it.

Summary: A night out with the Avengers is always a bad idea when you mix them with heartbreak and booze.

Enjoy!

Harden My heart

Why did it have to be raining?

Because fate was cruel, that’s why. So here you stood, on the corner of the street under the barely there cover of a random bar’s awning. Waiting, like you always did. The glowing of the neon in the bar’s window reminded you why you were here tonight.

Karaoke.

The bellowing laughter poured out of every crack of the establishment’s walls as you bounced from foot to foot, nearly catching your death in the chilly air. That’s what you had been good at after all. Patiently waiting for one Steve Rogers to make his presence known. He had promised tonight would be different. He promised you. And Captain America never broke a promise.

Right?

~~Earlier~~

It started the same way it always did. Fourth Friday. Eight thirty in the morning. A marathon of meetings going over the end of the month numbers for Stark Industries. Sheets of notes hastily scribbled and multiple cups of coffee ingested. The occasional cough from suited investors and higher management as the illustrious Tony Stark boasted the climbing stock percentages. You had been the eccentric billionaire’s assistant for nearly a year now, and you had come to know that the end of the month was everyone’s least favorite time.

Tony Stark hated Fourth Friday.

The day flew by in a haze, you absentmindedly chewing on the end of your pen deep in thought on the merger that would be taking place next month. Tony assured you that you’d still have a job, but if he had it his way you’d get your own assistant. You weren’t complaining, as the work load kept getting heavier as time went by. Another pair of hands would be extremely welcomed right about now.

The loud sound of a hand smacking the table jolted you to reality, you giving a timid smile to Sam Wilson, his own gap toothed smile spreading across his face.

“Y/N! Welcome back to earth.” You released a chuckle, trying carefully to calm your hammering heart. He loved making you jump, which wasn’t hard as you scared so easily. “You comin’ to team building tonight?”

Ah yes, team building. Tony did this every Fourth Friday. He dragged everyone in the Avengers (and usually you) to do things to “relax” after stressful meetings and even more stressful missions. Your first team outing was laser tag. He rented out a whole roller skating rink once, another time you were roped into inflatable obstacle courses for an afternoon. You partook in paintball and movie nights. You actually came to look forward to the adventures, as it so happened you didn’t have a lot of your own friends. But the team took you in, making you comfortable and never pushing you past your admittedly long list of limitations. You weren’t chicken, but you weren’t stupid either.

But the best part about the team building evenings, and working for Stark in general, came in the form of Steve Rogers. He had been the first to introduce himself to you on your first day working for Tony. He even accompanied you to lunch the whole first week, made sure you met everyone you needed to and answered any questions to put you at ease. Tony had joked that Steve liked taking in strays so they didn’t run away. You didn’t mind in the slightest, and you grew to get on like gasoline on a fire. And that also meant like so many other women, you found yourself harboring feelings for the man out of time. An absolute cliché, but it had been too late to catch yourself when you fell.

“What’s on the docket for tonight Sam?” You asked, staring into your coffee cup and bracing yourself for whatever crazy idea Tony had gotten in his head.

“Karaoke!” You looked up at the second voice, smiling warmly at the tall blond that joined the two of you in the otherwise empty conference room. Steve looked positively delicious in his dark blue button shirt and gray slacks. You had to remember to breathe, choking on nothing when he got closer to you. You would never get tired of the tall drink of water. You swore that man could wear a potato sack and you’d still gladly let him ruin you. “What do ya say Doll, you in? I got your first round of drinks.” He smiled and a whole conservatory of butterflies erupted in your stomach.

He already had ruined you, in a way.

“Depends, you actually going to show up this month?” You cheekily replied, a slight hint of bitterness in your voice. It should be noted that you had been inseparable in the beginning. After you got the hang of your job Steve started inviting you out for coffee. Then he asked you on walks in the morning before he went on his runs. You did everything together for the first six months. Everyone pestered you to find out if you were dating, and you would have jumped at the chance, but he was always quick to fire off that you were just friends. Even though it felt as if he was chipping away at your heart with a pick axe you never confronted him or confessed your feelings. After all, you got to be close friends with Captain America, what more could you ask for?

Then he met Camille.

Three months ago felt like a lifetime to you. Camille Straughton was the daughter of some big wig investor for some company you couldn’t care less to know about. She was gorgeous, her features exact opposite of yours, and didn’t have an insecure bone in her body. Everyone fell in love with her upon meeting her. She was nice to you and you wanted to drop a piano on her. She brought everyone homemade sweets whenever she visited and you imagined pushing her in a vat of hot wax. Alive and screaming the whole way in. The way she said Steve’s name had you sharpening your imaginary pitchfork, torch at the ready.

She was nothing short of perfect, which sucked, and she seemed to have her sights locked on your favorite blond. You didn’t think you were capable of hating someone so much.

Steve told you not to worry. That you couldn’t be replaced. That you were still one of his best friends. Idiot. So when he skipped lunch with you the first time to grab a bite with Camille you did your best to hide your disappointment from everyone else. Wanda found you crying in a supply closet on the seventh floor five til five and held you until your mascara stopped running. It wasn’t hard for her to figure out why, and you made her swear not to utter a word.

Steve apologized the next day but made a habit of it after that. You eventually got used to eating alone.

When she kissed Steve on his birthday in front of everyone, he returned the favor, everyone “Aww”ed and “Oooo”ed at the now “official” relationship. You took up shooting lessons. Sam and Bucky became increasingly impressed and terrified at your progress. Carol, Maria Hill and Nat dragged you out for a “Men are trash” party and after drinking too much you found yourself crying into homemade cupcakes on someone’s kitchen floor. You made a promise to yourself that you wouldn’t cry over him anymore after that. The hangover of the century the next day helped drive that promise home.

Everyone else didn’t notice how you’d managed to become even more reserved, keeping your smiles to yourself in a lock box that once held your heart. Sounds pretty pathetic right? Steve saw you less and less. Tony said he’d come around. That Camille was good for him, but he’d eventually need to come up for air and want to see his friends.

Then he missed team building for the first time. Tony had kittens. Then the second month he missed it Tony slapped Steve’s face on all the coffee machines and milk jugs in the building, looking for the “Missing Blond Neanderthal that sometimes answers to Capsicle”. By the third time you had accepted the new norm, but Tony screamed so loud that everyone in the limo remained silent for the duration of the travel time to the Drive in theater. A whole forty minutes, not a sound being heard except Tony’s fast and angry fingers typing empty threats into his phone. You learned quickly not to engage Steve in conversation, keeping your replies short and sweet unless you wanted to hear about Camille. Which you most certainly did NOT.

So needless to say you had to cover your obvious shock when he nodded vigorously at your question that cloudy Friday afternoon.

“I promise Y/N. I’ll be there.”

~~Present~~

And this is how you found yourself in slightly damp clothes waiting outside for a little less than an hour, darting your eyes down the sides of the street with an unopened umbrella and slowly diminishing hope.

“Y/N come inside already,” Tony called from the doorway as he pushed the door further out for you, “You knew better than to believe he’d actually make it.”

You shuddered, turning on your heel and walking into the mouth of the rented out bar with a defeated sigh. “He promised Tony.”

“I know, but he’s too wrapped up in her to care about us anymore,” He patted you on the shoulder as you shrugged out of your coat, the knockout outfit you had picked out for tonight falling on blind eyes. “You know she demands that he calls her when we leave for missions and the second we land? How suffocating. Pep would beat my ass if I was that annoying.”

“Bold of you to assume she doesn’t think you annoying to begin with.” His redheaded wife clapped back and you only nodded, not really paying to the conversation after that. This wasn’t the first time you had waited for him in the rain. This wasn’t the first time he had told you something and did something else. You should be used to it. But it didn’t make it hurt any less.

The first shot of tequila went down like battery acid, Bucky’s look of understanding spurring you on to your new goal of drinking to forget Steve’s empty promises. Screw him.

It was during Sam’s cringe worthy performance of “Danger Zone” that Nick Fury entered the bar, Maria hill accompanying him and nearly dying of laughter when he stared at everyone.

“What the actual fuck? I picked this bar to get AWAY from my job. I just want some damn peace and quiet! That too much for a motherfucker to ask?”

You bought him a drink for his troubles. Maria and you threw back another shot to “Fourth Friday” while Fury kept complaining, sipping his bourbon the whole time.

“Here Y/N, pick one!” Sam slammed a large tome of songs down next to you awhile later, a high pitched yelp jumping out of your throat and landing on the bar with a loud SHIT. “Jumpy much?”

“Get bent Wilson.” You muttered into your glass of whatever fruit drink Nat ordered you. He laughed when you flicked the tropical paper umbrella at him before thumbing through the cracked and water damaged pages. “They should laminate these….” You pulled a face, barely reading the titles. Not that you could make out more than a couple words anyway.

Your gaze zeroed in on a song and you flattened your index finger next to it. “This one. I’ll do this one. But not now, maybe when I’ve had a few more?”

“Whatever you want Y/L/N, shot time?”

The third shot went down like water, as did number four.

Nat, Carol, and Wanda all got up to sing “Girls Just want to have fun” you had politely declined, although you were a girl, you were not having fun. Nor did you want to.

Tony wrapped up the nine o’clock hour with an atrocious cover of “Baby got Back.” The slap that Pepper gave him when he suggested that she “Turn around” and “Stick it out” was heard around the world.

Everyone decided to take a small break from the singing after that.

You toasted Sam and Pepper, who had agreed they needed alcohol to burn Tony’s very dated dance moves out of their memories. You decided against another shot for now, not wanting to overdo it when Stark had planned on closing the joint down. Can’t take him anywhere really.

Thor found you an hour later after belting “I would do anything for love (But I won’t do that)”. You hadn’t moved from your spot at the bar, even when the MC reminded you that after Tony it would be your time to sing.

“You look really beautiful tonight Y/N. Is that a new dress? That color really suits you.” His compliment made you beam in thanks, the same blinding smile that landed you the job and put people at ease. “There’s my favorite smile. Who made you hide it away for so long?”

Did I get feelings for the wrong blond?

“You’re too sweet Thor. It wasn’t hidden, just taking a break. Can’t have it out on display all the time you know.”

“Well you wouldn’t hear me complain if you did. I hate seeing you upset. You doing alright?”

“I will be after another shot I think.”

“Then it must be done! Barkeep!”

You both exchanged shot glasses, fully knowing it would do nothing for the Asguardian but he thanked you none the less. By the time midnight came around you were good and tipsy, clinging to the mic stand for dear life as the room spun around and the small squares counted you in on the screen you desperately focused on. As if you didn’t know the words. You could belt this tune in your sleep.

“Cryin' in the corner, waiting in the rain, I swear I’ll never ever wait again. You gave me your word, but words for you are lies.”

Nat and Wanda cat called you from the side of the small brightly lit stage and you felt your confidence, entirely alcohol fueled, soar. You stood up straight, imagining telling off a certain super solider with the song lyrics with newly found power. Douchey, stupid, hunk of perfect idiot. I’ll show him. I will.

“Darlin in my wildest dreams I’d never thought I’d go, but it’s time to let you know, oh

I’m gonna harden my heart. I’m gonna swallow my tears. I’m gonna turn and leave you here.”

As you kept belting out lyrics to the heartbreak ballad everyone tried to hold in their amazement. You were so engrossed in your own imaginary confrontation you didn’t catch the very real and very taken back Steve Rogers practically running into the bar, a pained and confused look on his face as he watched the group of heroes sway and cheer on your impressive vocals.

“Where did she get those pipes?!” Sam excitedly exclaimed as Steve neared the stage, the lights far too bright for you to see past the dingy dated monitor.

“I have no idea, but I TOLD you this was a great idea! As all of my ideas usually are.”

Sam side eyed Tony before knocking back the last bit of his drink, shaking his head.

“Darlin in your wildest dreams you never had a clue, but it’s time you got the news. I’m gonna harden my heart. I’m gonna swallow my tears. I’m gonna turn and leave you here.”

You repeated the chorus and slowly trailed off the end of the song, praising yourself for keeping your pitch in check and not slurring you words to the point of incoherence. The loud clamoring of applause and shouts broke you from your power trip, you giving a small curtsy and taking a large hand off the stage.

When your eyes came to focus on who the hand belonged to you released it as if it had bitten you. Drunken tears welled up in your eyes as Steve appeared in front of you. Without the incredible she-bitch. Your flight instincts kicked in and you promptly turned on your heel and ran awkwardly into the bathroom, heels clicking the whole way as you locked yourself in.

He can’t get me in here you cackled triumphantly, before the dam broke and you started crying your heart out on the hard tile floor. Screw the promise. The booze was more than effective now, your vision blurring from all of the shots and heartache. How dare he show up tonight. What was he playing at? Was he some kind of sadist? As if all of this wasn’t hard enough already. You couldn’t feel your toes due to the heels. So you tore them angrily off your feet and threw them at the door for good measure. Sure showed him huh?

Your thoughts drifted off, the amount of hard liquor finally catching up to your body and forcing you into a unwelcome blackout sleep. You didn’t notice Wanda walk in and levitate your body out of the bathroom ten minutes later, safely putting you into Steve’s arms and telling him sternly,

“You did this to her, you can deal with her.”

You woke up in a bed that was most definitely not yours some time later. Your eyes and throat burned as you groaned, the thunderous banging of your own pulse making you nauseous. You attempted poorly to shield your eyes as the sun glared in through the window without mercy. Where in the hell am I? Checking to make sure your clothes were still on you slowly pulled yourself out of the massively comfortable bed.

Cold hardwood met your feet, eliciting a short squeak from your mouth upon contact. Where the hell are my shoes? Steeling your nerves you were relieved to find the room empty, padding across the floor and inching the door open to the living room. The smell of coffee and hot bacon assaulted your nose and your mouth began to water. The door then decided to release a loud creeeeeaaak causing the subject of your dreams and your most recent nightmares to turn around from the stove.

“Morning sleeping beauty. Rest well?”

He chuckled at you confusion covered face, placing a mug of steaming life juice on the island in front of him and sliding it towards you. “I imagine you could use this.”

“Stop…screaming…head….hurts…” Broken sentences were the best you could manage in your current grogginess, greedily snatching the mug off the counter and relishing the hot liquid climbing down your body and bringing it to life as if it were Frankenstein’s monster. “What…what happened….last night?”

“Before or after you blew everyone away with your singing?” Steve smiled as a blush crept over your face and neck.

“After.”

“Not a damn thing.” He said confidently, turning to the stove to shut off the burner and plate the remaining bacon. “You passed out in the bathroom and Wanda got you out. She blamed me for your knocked out state and demanded I fix it.”

“You know Wanda,” You hastily tried to cover up your embarrassment, waving your hand, “She always has had a way with words.” A nervous laugh echoed into your coffee cup, noting it was the one you had bought him for his birthday. Peachy. This brought back great memories. Not

He placed a plate of food in your line of sight, complete with a couple aspirin.

“Where…where’s Camille? I don’t think she’d be okay with me sleeping in your bed…”

He shrugged, “Well we broke up last night so I honestly don’t care what she thinks anymore.”

You stared at him with wide eyes, the fork loosely hanging in your fingers mid bite.

“Oh Steve I’m…”

He waved you off. “Don’t say it. We both know you and everyone else were hoping we’d end things. It was exhausting living up to her expectations of me, so I called it quits.”

You nodded, chewing your food as he began to pick at his own. “I can understand that. Relationships shouldn’t feel forced.”

“You’re damn right.” He sighed, taking a bite of bacon and looking at you. “I can’t believe I let her control me so much. I’ve missed everyone. I’ve missed you so much.” He let out a bitter laugh, “Why do I always date the crazies? My dumb luck right?”

“Hey love makes you do crazy things Steve. And your luck isn’t that bad.” You offered a small smile, to which his frown deepened.

“Oh yea?” He questioned, folding his arms and staring you down, “If my luck isn’t so bad then why am I not dating someone like you?”

You stared at him as if he had sprouted a second head. “Ex…excuse me?”

“Did I stutter?” He asked simply, knocking the air out of your lungs as you clung white knuckled to the marble. You stared at him in a stunned silence as he merely shrugged as if it were nothing, “You’re kind, massively intelligent. Beautiful without trying. All of my friends already like you. You don’t belittle me or try to control every aspect of my life. You don’t make me contemplate murder on a daily basis.”

Another deep sigh and agonizing silence before he spoke again, his voice cracking slightly,

“If someone like you would even think about dating me, I’d be the luckiest man I know.”

You couldn’t help it. You started laughing. Months of emotions poured out of your mouth, your laughter on the edge of sounding like that of a lunatic’s. But you couldn’t stop, tears springing to your eyes as you held your sour convulsing stomach. It was Steve’s turn to look stunned.

“You....you moron!” You accused between giggle fits, “I’ve been in LOVE with you for MONTHS!”

Steve started nervously chuckling at that, “You…you are?”

“Yea you big dumb Neanderthal. Where have you been?”

“With the wrong person.”He didn’t waste another second, coming around the side of the island and scooping you up in his arms. His lips met yours and you let out a contented sigh before breaking away from him. “We should probably take this slow. I don’t want to feel like the rebound here.”

“Oh, yea, of course not.” He set you back down on the floor, rubbing a hand on the back of his neck as you giggled, closing the distance and relishing how nervous he looked. “Can I…can I ask you out to dinner sometime then?”

“I got no plans tonight.” You offered, watching him with amusement as he did a double take. “What? I said slow not no. I’m not going to let you get away again, Captain Rogers.”

“Tonight it is then.”His arms found his way around you again as he pulled you into a hug, chuckling softly into the side of your neck. “So last night….were you…were you singing about me?”

“I plead the fifth.”

“I deserve that I suppose.”

“Damn right you do.”

End

tagging @kaytizzle @cuffski @giggleberts @pies-wands-and-more

#mimi's one hit wonder challenge #steve rogers x y/n #steve rogers x reader #captain america fanfiction

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