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mazes-and-the-madness · 10 months

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IN BETWEEN: A Camren Analysis

I. Introduction

Nearly two years after she released her debut EP PRELUDE in 2021, Lauren Jauregui brings us a second one: In Between. She explores a variety of themes, some of which were also on PRELUDE (i.e. relationships, personal growth, her emotions). Without further ado, here’s my Camren analysis of In Between. As always, there’s the disclaimer that I’m not saying certain songs are definitely 100 percent about Camila: just that if they are, here’s a plausible explanation as to why. Oh, and Lauren, if you happen to come across this, just keep scrolling - absolutely nothing to see here.

II. Track-by-Track Analysis

1. In Between

Much like she did with Colors on PRELUDE, Lauren opens with a piece that’s part song, part spoken word. The title track In Between is about self-reflection, growing as a person, and ascending to one’s higher self. Lauren says, “love me in the in between… for me and the future we,” which could refer to becoming a better person for not only herself, but also a future romantic partner. “A dream that comes to tell me of the path that lies ahead // the things that I must leave behind instead of me for dead” could refer to leaving behind her immature past self, or a toxic partner, for her to reach her full potential. Lauren also mentions being “hung up on all the potential instead of the truth.” Even if the relationship was good at one point, this is no longer the case. It’s too far gone, and I hate to say it, but this could be about Camren. A key message of In Between is that no matter how much healing you’ve done, there’s always more self-discovery to do. When Lauren says, “I wade in the waters of the in between // until I’m born again, anew and renewed,” this is yet another parallel to PRELUDE, specifically the cover art where her face is ever so slightly lifted from the water. You know how the one thing everyone remembers from science class is, “The mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell?” The English literature (and songwriting) equivalent is “water = rebirth.”

Other Thoughts:

Can we take a second to appreciate how “a dream that comes to tell me of the path that lies ahead // the things that I must leave behind instead of me for dead” is written in perfect iambic heptameter? If you have no idea what that means, don’t worry about it - just my inner English professor nerding out about Shakespearean poetic structures.

I know we’re all mad at Taylor Swift right now (and if you’re not, you should be), but “meet me in the in between” is giving “meet me at midnight.”

2. Em(oceans)

This song summarized in one sentence: Lauren feels too much, and wishes that she didn’t because her heightened sense of empathy enables people to take advantage of her. Her plea of “do you even notice? (are you even noticing all this emotion?)” could be directed at a partner, specifically Camila. The lyric “I never know what to say // so I try to push it away” is interesting because it alludes to communication issues from Lauren’s side. Communication has historically been a major obstacle for Camren, but the problems usually seem to stem from Camila’s side, as we know from Lauren songs like Expectations, Let Me Know, NADA, and the unreleased XO (I Don’t Miss You). Em(oceans) directly parallels other songs on the EP, specifically In Between and Trust Issues which also allude to other people using Lauren for their own ulterior motives.

3. All in My Feelings

This song reads very much like it takes place after Camila left Fifth Harmony (and by extension, Lauren). Camila now has more self-respect, and will no longer drop everything just because Lauren wants her to. Lauren expresses frustration that Camila is ignoring her, saying, “I just wanted to have sex // I’m too used to getting my way now.” By doing so, Lauren confirms what Camila writes about her in My Oh My (“they say he likes a good time,” “insatiable habits,” “he’s only here for one thing”). While Camila was previously quick to give in to Lauren’s demands, now she’s moved on and this is no longer the case.

One interesting lyric is “this might be some past life shit, thе way you got me waitin' 'round for ya // to answer me whenever you do you ya, the upper hand was always mine.” The term “past life” has a clever double meaning: Lauren could be saying that she and Camila’s connection means they were together in a past life, OR that she’s now paying for how poorly she treated Camila all those years ago. Plus, we know from both of their songs that Lauren had the upper hand over Camila (She Loves Control, This Love, Señorita, Back to Me, Sorry). Lauren knows her past behavior is no longer going to fly, as she worries, “I'm afraid (oh, I'm afraid) of what it could mean when I've lost the control and I don't want it to mean anythin.' ” This is a good time to remember that Camila literally has a song called She Loves Control about how much of a control freak Lauren is.

Lauren also says, “I like my wall up to keep from fallin', keep from fallin' // keep my walls up to keep from fallin', can't be fallin.' ” As I’ve stated in previous analyses, Lauren has written multiple songs about her struggles to open up to others (On Guard, Trust Issues), and Camila has written about desperately wanting her partner to do exactly that (Inside Out, In the Dark, Shameless, Boys Don't Cry). Lauren ends All in My Feelings with, “now he answers my texts as I'm writing a song about him // man, fuck that dude.” I don’t know about you all, but I laughed out loud when I first heard this. While she seems to be talking about a man, I wouldn’t be surprised if this song is actually about Camila, who has used he/him pronouns to describe Lauren in multiple songs (most notably, Havana and My Oh My.)

Other Thoughts:

This song also parallels Em(oceans), specifically the idea of feeling too much and wanting to push these thoughts aside. This is most apparent with the lyrics “uh, trust me, I'd like to turn off my feelings // why the fuck am I feelin' any type of feeling?” and “anyway, anyway // usually I run away, run away.”

4. The One

Along with All in My Feelings and Always Love, The One is one of the most Camila-coded songs on the EP. The first verse is about an on-off relationship, apparent by the lyric “been here a few times, don't know what I'm fightin' for anymore.” Camren is THE on-off relationship, as we know from songs like This Love, Señorita, Back to Me, Sorry, and the unreleased Don’t Need This (I’ll stop there before listing out their entire discographies). In The One, Lauren questions her partner’s commitment to her, doubting that their actions match their words. She says, “you say that I’m the one, yeah yeah // so show me that you love me, yeah yeah.” Camila has written multiple songs about how Lauren is the only one for her (Anyone, Taxi, Easy, and arguably, First Man). Lauren is unimpressed by her partner’s wealth, saying, “don’t need your money, nah nah // that ain’t the way you keep me, my love.” No shade, just facts: as the most commercially successful member of Fifth Harmony, Camila is wealthier than Lauren, boasting a net worth of nearly $20 million vs. $4 million. Plus, Camila totally seems like the type to spoil her girlfriends with all her money. Lauren also questions, “why you gotta be insecure? ... I can’t really do this no more if every time I speak, you take it that I’m starting war.” Camila has bared her insecurities in several songs, including Easy, psychofreak, No Doubt, and Hasta Los Dientes. Until Camila can prove her commitment to Lauren, Lauren scoffs, “you can keep your money, yeah yeah // I’m doin’ just fine on my own.”

5. Trust Issues

At the request of @/missmebaby2017, I first analyzed this song when Lauren officially released it in March of this year. As I said back then, Trust Issues fits right in with other songs we've gotten from both girls about Lauren’s struggle to open up and the volatile, on-off nature of their relationship. As a result, it makes sense that Lauren would have “trust issues” before trying again with Camila, or starting a new relationship with anyone else. Now that we have the context of the full EP, we also see that Trust Issues fits thematically with songs like In Between, Em(oceans), and All in My Feelings.

6. Always Love

Lauren first performed this song in July 2019, shortly after Camila tweeted “for me, it was always going to be about love.” Always Love is about a relationship that’s long gone, but you still have love for the other person. Like All in My Feelings, this song could take place after Camila first left Fifth Harmony to pursue a solo career. The lyric “nobody talks about walking away when there’s still love // feeling so far after being so close is a mindfuck” would fit with this theory, since the Havana music video hints that this breakup was amicable. The on-off themes surface once again as Lauren reflects, “even though we didn’t work, it’s always love, always love // and even though we hurt each other more than once, it was love, always love.” As for “for all those times that we locked eyes // when I was yours and you were mine,” there are tons of compilations of “Camren staring at each other” on YouTube and TikTok. If “intense eye contact” was an Olympic sport, they’d take home more gold medals than Michael Phelps. But my favorite lyric in the whole song is, “you helped me grow into me, so I couldn’t help but change.” Camila was there for Lauren during a highly formative period in her life, her mid-to-late adolescent years in the band. Because of Camila, Lauren could no longer deny her sexuality and finally accepted who she really was, giving so many of her fans the courage to do the same (myself included). Overall, Always Love is very much giving “sapphic first love” vibes, and I will never not cry when listening to this song.

7. Wolves (ft. Ty Dolla $ign and RUSS)

This song details all three artists’ struggles in the music industry. Because there’s so much to unpack here, I’ll do more of a close reading, line-by-line analysis with this one.

“I've been runnin' with the wolves and I made it alright

Searchin' for my purpose and I'm learnin'

That we don't really get a lot of time

So I've got to go and get mine while I'm alive

Yeah, I'll be runnin' with the wolves all through the night”

Lauren started in the music industry at age 16. She’s now stayed in it for over ten years and done a lot of learning, growing up, and self-discovery in the process. The word choice of “wolves” is rather pointed; I mean, she doesn’t say “runnin’ with the butterflies.” The wolves are the cutthroat music industry executives who don’t care about the artists and will exploit, abuse, and overwork them to rake in as much money as possible. Remember Lauren’s advice for young people aspiring to a music career? “Read your contracts.” All artists have an expiration date, especially women and those from manufactured bands. As a member of both groups, Lauren has to work extra hard to make the most of her time in the spotlight for as long as the wolves allow her to do so.

Now we get to Ty Dolla $ign’s part:

“I lost so many to the system // only two ways out, dead or in prison” … “I know there’s gotta be a better way // out here runnin’ with the wolves tryna get away”

The music industry often exploits newly signed artists, especially those from working-class backgrounds. As I said in my analysis of Familia, this was the case for nearly all the Fifth Harmony girls. Simon Cowell was able to get them to sign those unjust, restrictive, inhumane recording contracts because he knew it was practically their only chance at a better life.

“clock tickin', plot and stop bitchin' (uh, oh yeah) // lot of fake stars, but I ain't 'bout to stop wishin' … every time my gut talks, I try to just listen ”

This lyric goes back to artists having a shelf life, and also includes some clever wordplay. We all know the idea of wishing on a star to make your dreams come true, but here Ty means that a lot of artists aren’t “real” with their fans because they’re heavily manufactured by the industry for (what else?) financial gain. Still, he refuses to let this stop him from making the most of this opportunity and striving to be an artist on his own terms.

“a millionaire on hamster wheels, I'm hopin' that this can't be real”

Even for those lucky artists that become super wealthy doing what they love, they may be trapped because of these brutal contracts. The word choice of “hamster wheels” is especially telling: artists are hustling all the time, but ultimately remain stuck in the same place.

That brings us to RUSS’ part:

“I'm scraped up, got some scratches, got some war wounds

I'm tryna reach the people as if I ain't 'bout to tour soon

I might need a therapist, maybe a support group

Yeah, I went from dorm rooms to courtrooms to board rooms, ah”

The industry hurts artists both mentally and physically. “Reach the people” could mean multiple things, such as artists helping others through their music or making them aware of the harsh behind-the-scenes reality. The mention of touring could refer to artists’ grueling schedules often determined by industry executives. Members of Fifth Harmony and One Direction have spoken about how the nonstop album-tour-album-tour cycles were harmful to their physical and mental health. For example, Niall Horan wasn’t even allowed to get much-needed knee surgery while he was on tour, and Ally Brooke writes in her 2020 memoir Finding Your Harmony that she only took one or two sick days during her entire time in the band (2012-2016). Today, artists are more comfortable speaking about mental health issues, like Demi Lovato and Miley Cyrus declaring that they’re no longer going to be touring as part of their careers. Finally, why is Lauren also singing the “dorm room” part when she’s never even been to college? I’m sure it’s not that deep; I just find it funny.

Now we’re back to Lauren with the outro.

“runnin', runnin', we keep runnin', runnin', runnin' ”

Although this line of work is by no means easy, all three artists stick with it and continue breaking their backs to keep the wolves happy. That is, until the wolves discard the artists for fresh meat, thus perpetuating the cycle of abuse and exploitation in the music industry.

III. Conclusion

Lauren, you’ve done it again. In Between is thoughtful, reflective, and self-aware, and you’ve proven your growth as an artist from not only your Fifth Harmony days, but also throughout your solo career. Though I loved both of your EPs, I have to ask: when are we getting your debut album? I know there’s probably all sorts of behind-the-scenes stuff we’ll never know; it just feels like we’ve been waiting forever. Either way, as long as I keep vibing with your music, I will continue to support you as an artist whatever you decide.

If anyone has questions or comments on anything I’ve said, my asks are always open (I trust you all to keep things civil). And if you haven’t already read my analyses for PRELUDE and Familia, what are you doing? No seriously, I’d encourage you to do that as well. I’ll be back for the next major music release from either Lauren or Camila, but until then, stream In Between.

Final Rating: 7/10

Final Ranking:

7. Trust Issues

6. Em(oceans)

5. In Between

4. Wolves

3. The One

2. Always Love

1. All in My Feelings

#lauren jauregui #in between #camila cabello #camren #song analysis #lyrical analysis #fifth harmony #the industry

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luvmyoui · 11 months

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three - maybe

previous masterlist next

gp!myoui mina x fem!reader

warnings: self gaslighting???, toxic relationship, angst

word count: 1,539

a/n: PLESE send asks and tell me what to do w this story cz im now out of ideas😭😭 also im so sorry for how late im posting this, i swear it was done i js forgot to post it 😞😞

isla myoui, your daughter was your light in the darkness. you originally didn’t want to have kids, but isla was honestly the reason you kept going. not only was she the cutest little thing, she was also such a good girl. she barely ever fussed or cried, and she was friendly with everyone, always having a smile on her cute little baby face. she took after mina mostly, it was clear as day that it was mina’s daughter, having so many similar features. the only thing of yours that she had was your light tannish skin that you had inherited from your own mother.

even though mina had informed you she would be leaving, you didn't think it’d be right away. a part of you hoped that she wouldn’t leave at all, but much to your dismay when you came home later that day mina wasn't there. she left a note saying that isla was at her mom’s home and because she didn't want such negativity around her so she was leaving to korea immediately. you didn't know why you held out hope that she’d stay, mina didn't care, she didn't care that she was leaving her own daughter alone, she didn't care for anyone but herself.

maybe it was because of how she left, the way she left leaving your own heart broken. no matter the way she treated you, you still loved the girl. she was your first everything, she was your first love, she was the woman you had a baby with. you loved mina with everything in you, you loved her for convincing you to keep the baby, for even deciding to date you. out of all the girls in your school she chose you. the feeling of sorrow never left you, you gave this girl everything, you gave her everything you had, years of your life were given to her.

you felt resentment, why was she still having such a big effect on your life although she had left it? your sorrow and resentment lead you to join the entertainment industry, you werent gonna let her win, you werent gonna stay a nobody, someone who was just in her life for a split second. you were going to make it bigger than her, you were going to have her see your name everywhere. A constant reminder of who she left behind, who she cut out of her life as if they were nothing.

you always loved singing, it wasn't something that was new to you. ever since a young age you had been told to pursue a career in singing. you never minded those comments though, dedicating your time to a career that might not even work out wasn't a chance you were willing to take. well of course that was before mina ditched you, you were not the same person you used to be.

camila always had a passion for singing, whether or not you did it with her she was always set on becoming a singer. camila was very shy about her singing though, she would always say that when she came of age she’d gain confidence. due to how close you and camila were, you had been one of the lucky few to have been blessed to hear her voice.

what better luck could you have? both camila and you had good singing voices, wouldn't it be even better if you two could become singers together?

after a lot of convincing, camila was finally on board, the both of you would show up on America's Got Talent.

you were nervous, you didn't think you had ever been this nervous about something before. this was the moment your life would change for either the better or worse, you and camila were currently backstage waiting for your turn to go up and audition.

you saw camila's face when she first heard the voice of the girl who had just gone on, she looked amazed at the fact that someone could sing so well, whoever this girl was, was definitely a competitor. when the girl who you saw had green eyes walked out of the booth you could see camilas jaw physically drop, she was gorgeous. you nudged camila on the shoulder and told her to approach the girl with green eyes. her face reddened as she shook her head no, not caring that she said no you dragged her towards the girl anyways.

“hi! I'm y/n and this is my friend camila, we heard you from the booth and you were like crazy good.” you said to the girl as you approached her with camila by your side.

a smile grew on her face as she processed the compliment you had just given her “thanks! my name’s lauren!” she said happily as she folded her arms behind her back.

“i- uh- i like your shirt..” camila said her face red

“thanks!” she replied seemingly happy at all the compliments she was receiving.

in response to what lauren had said camila just nodded her head aggressively while smiling which took you by shock. you had never seen camila have this kind of behavior with anyone, where had the confident camila gone?

“camila and y/n, it’s now your time to shine!” one of the workers said as you two were ushered to the stage

you and camila had decided to do a duet cover of crazy in love, you both practiced it day and night and now it was time to sing in front of everyone. you were nervous but you knew that you had to give it your all. you pushed through your worries and somehow managed to calm yourself down before you started singing.

you couldn't have imagined the audition going any better than it had, you two performed flawlessly and the simon cowell golden buzzered you two. both you and camila burst into tears at the gold confetti surrounding the two of you as you hugged each other. while mina was probably still training, you were now on your way to winning the show.

as the show progressed you and camila were put into a group with lauren, dinah, normani, and ally. you two were unfamiliar to the girls (discluding lauren) but it took no time for all six of you to get close.

when sent to bootcamp camila shared a room with lauren and you with dinah. you obviously wanted to be with camila but you also wanted her to get closer to her crush so you accepted the room settings. when all six of you got close enough you revealed the information of you having a daughter to them, you had them all meet her and they absolutely adored her.

the time you spent on the show was mainly away from your daughter, she had been at your parents house, your mom finally seeming to have interest in the baby. although she had left, mina was still sending you pocket money and paying the rent of your apartment. when you received the first deposit into your bank account from her you were very surprised. you thought you would have to find a job to support your child and yourself but thankfully mina still had a heart and didn't want to see her child and you homeless.

after mina moved to korea her parents moved back to japan because there was no longer a reason they saw to stay in the u.s. although you hated what mina had done to you, you could never find it in you to dislike her parents, they always treated you like their own, and with utmost kindness.

you liked to tell yourself that mina wasn't all that bad, she was sending you a large sum of money for both you and your child along with paying your rent. she might not have been the best but maybe you should've been more considerate, maybe you should’ve supported her and her choice of becoming an idol.

as time passed by your feelings of resentment were replaced with guilt, maybe it was you who had caused this all. you always knew about her dream of being an idol, maybe you had been too harsh. If she told you not to pursue your dream you’d be upset too, you felt terrible about what you had said and done to her.

honestly, throughout the whole 3 months she was gone you just wanted her back, you didn't think you could ever let go of her. even if she came back just to sit on her ass all day and play minecraft, you still wanted her back. you loved her and all her flaws, her flaws are what made her her.

the girls were your main support, throughout everything, you always knew you had six girls to lean on and talk to. you honestly felt so loved by them all, they didn't only love you but also your daughter. Your daughter was your everything, and the fact that they accepted you as a teen mom was a dream come true.

you didn't know what you’d do if you hadn't joined the show, it was honestly the second best decision you had made, in a way it made you thankful that mina had left.

taglist (send an ask if you wannna be added) - @moon-ellie @lisas-earlobe @cocojy @second-daughter-of-clexa @runassimp

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