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spacebarbarianweird · 2 days

Note

I know you probably have a deluge of requests, but may I add Astarion/Male Drow Tav headcannons to the list? SFW or NSFW, either one!

Ok, I usually don't do M!Tav but I think it would be a nice change since I mostly write fem!Tav (and especially OC Tav). Besides, relationship with a Drow is always an interesting gender dynamics!

Masterlist

Headcanons

Astarion x M!Drow!Tav

You are that third son who is up to be killed since you can't be used even for giving your mother-matriarch more female descendants.

You were spared though and given to serve Lolth.

The day of your iniciation approaches and you know one thing for sure.

You will fail the Lolth test. You will be turned into a deranged monster, a Drider, and suffer from madness and pain till your long elven days come to an end.

You decide to run.

Besides, there are rumors about drow men who have managed to do that.

It takes you almost a year to find your way to the surface and you immediately get blinded by the sun.

You don't know how to make decisions for yourself, you are afraid of the Lolth curse, and you see spies and scouts in every Drow you encounter.

And you have no fucking clue how to lead this small party of weirdos you end up with.

You still try - you are so desperate to make it work, that you become a leader (and even think your mother would have been proud of you, after all)

Even though you are the smallest in the group (what, 5.2 is absolutely normal for a male drow! You are even called 'tall as a woman'!)

Astarion tries to play on your own insecurities, your fears, your anxieties.

Sweet words, praise. You don't need much to seduce a young drow.

But Astarion has one trait he hates to admit.

He enjoys taking care of others.

And he enjoys taking care of you - and he is actually ready to fight drows should they come for you.

It takes him some time to realize he, indeed, loves you. And he isn't sure how you'd take his confession.

Well, he expected anything but not tears.

But in the end, you forgive him and you end up together, promising to protect each other from evil.

Though, Astarion almost decides to ascend. Mostly because he isn't sure if a spawn can protect his beloved from Lolth.

He still makes a choice not to ascend and you end up cradling him through the night since he needs to mourn all the decades he's lost.

Once it's all over, return to the Underdark is out of the question. And you decide to get somewhere far enough not to think of your clan coming for your soul.

And somewhere Astarion can walk freely.

NSFW undercut

You are at the bottom. It wasn't actually something you'd discussed, you just ended up on your fourth in the clearance while having your ass pounded.

Sometimes Astarion is tender, sometimes he's rough - and you don't actually know what to expect from your lover.

Ever since his vampiric strength has returned, he often makes love to you standing. And the session can last for a very long period because he can't get exhausted.

Probably, the most embarrassing moment for you was when Astarion offered to give you a head (since you didn't finish).

The way your cock disappeared in his mouth and the way he maintained eye contact were unexpected, that's for sure.

Later, you asked Astarion to teach you how to give a blowjob, and you enjoyed the process much more than you initially thought.

@tugoslovenka

@herstxrgirl

@herdarkestnightelegance

@vixstarria

@not-so-lost-after-all

@marcynomercy

@theearthsfinalconfession

@starlight-ipomoea

@micropoe10

@astarion-imagine-archive

@veillsar

@elora-the-slutty-songstress

@fayeriess

@lumienyx

@tallymonster

@caitlincat-95

@tragedybunny

@valeprati

@lynnlovesthestars

@marina-and-the-memes

@waking-eyes

@ayselluna

@connorsui

@asterordinary

@darkarchangel96

@locallegume

@brainfullofhotsauce

@coffeeanddonutscafe

@my-queen-rhaenyra-targaryen

@queenofthespacesquids

@ednaaa-04

@dajeong

@wilteddreamsofbaldursgate

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vero-niche · 3 months

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I will cope with this and i will procrastinate by making bookmarks

ah i see. so you went with that instead of a halotti tor/lagzi with the boys. a formidable choice

#do you need some memes or smg idk what i can offer in these trying times #ask #mutuals

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neverendingford · 9 months

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#tag talk #I'm so tired of being the person who has the measured takes. I'm so tired of being the advice dispenser #I'm so tired of being the one to say “well they might have misunderstood and that's why they responded that way”#AND I'M SO TIRED OF BEING RIGHT ABOUT IT #It would be one thing if I were just stupidly optimistic and wrong. but I keep being right. people do usually improve if you invest in them #and I'm tired of the answer always being “work harder”. I know that “I can fix him” is a meme but what if I keep successfully fixing people?#what if my success translates into an obligation to continue trying? what if my being right means I have to keep speaking truth out loud #what if my empathy for others means I have to keep listening to their problems.#I want to feel wanted but I'm so tired of being wanted. I want to be drawn to people but I'm tired of my bones being pulled apart #do I just need to spend time with people smarter than me? I'm tired of being the smartest in the room.#I'm not being arrogant. I'm fucking lonely. do you know what it's like to have no one to call you on your mistakes?#I don't want to do the know it all thing where I assume I'm right and have no one to call me on it.#so tired of people being afraid to tell me I'm probably wrong simply because I'm right so often #I want to be around people who don't treat me like some sort of novelty chat bot. able to generate the wildest dialogue at a moment's notice #i need to look for community once I get settled in here.#but I'm afraid It'll just turn into the same dynamic as it always does #I enjoyed my community group on Tuesday but I never got anything out of it besides generic social. I corrected. I taught. I lectured #I'm tired of feeling like I know everything already. I want something new. something unique #multiplayer games have more longevity because humans offer variation and creativity. . sometimes #what do you do when they stop giving you that variation. that novelty. that unique flavor #what do you do when everything starts tasting the same #I think it's just the moving stress getting to me. plus I have to confront someone about being an asshole to me and I don't wanna #because I know why they were rude. they're stressed out of their mind about stuff too. I get it. but now I feel shitty #you can't offload your stress to someone else. you can't allow it to flow through you and strike someone else. I can't allow that #but ughhhh I'm also tired as fuck. that's part of it too.#bye I'm gonna go brush my teeth comb my hair and go to bed I guess

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workinatdapyramid · 1 year

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pretty boy

jack champion headcannons <3

m! speaks: we need more jack champion fics.. where’s the love for my baby boy :((((

* .・゜゜・　　・゜゜・．

posts you ALL the time like seriously this man cannot get enough of you

has to try every silly little tiktok trend on you ( even the filters )

“babe i promise this one is actually funny this time”

calls you baby (KMS)

takes you to all of his interviews

this man literally makes sure you bring snacks for him

“boys gotta eat” *shrugs*

PHYSICAL TOUCHHHHHHH

doesn’t matter where you are or who you are with, he always needs to be touching some part of your body

playing with your fingers while casually conversing with others

CLINNGGGGGYYYYYYYYY

refuses to take naps on the couch without you

when you finally agree to lay with him somehow he ends up knocking out on top of you

“jack i physically cannot breathe, get off”

“so you don’t love me anymore?”

brings you up ANYTIME ANYPLACE ( mainly interviews )

“who would you say is your go to person on set for advice?”

“if mason’s busy i’ll call my girlfriend until she answers. i could call her now if you want?”

follows you around like a damn puppy

he is a big simp for you and he knows it

HE HAS NO SHAME ABT IT

facetimes you everyyyyydayyyyy

“baby i miss you”

“jack i literally just left”

skincareeee queeeens

dedicated photo dumps of just you all over his feed

easily jealous.. if someone looks at you too long best believe he’s plotting

“i’ll kill him”

spam texts you while you’re asleep

jack 💗: wanna hear abt my day? i got to hang out with jenna and all of them today. it was sickkk

jack 💗: should i get pizza or tacos?

jack 💗: plot twist i got chic fil a

jack 💗: wyd rn????

jack 💗: y/nnnnnnnnnnn hellllooooooooooo

jack 💗: would you still date me if i was a worm?

y/n :)))) : jack it’s 1am

this man is sooo gooofy like cmon now

always gives you his hoodies

he loves when you wear his clothes

sends you every meme that pops on his fyp

he definitely has a playlist for you and every little date you’ve guys ever been on

will drag you to the gym with him just to keep him company

hugs hugs hugs hugs hugs hugsssss

his tall ass always leaning over you

flirting with you like there’s no tmr

dad jokes

always makes you laugh

loves your parents

he’s always offering to help your mom cook when he is over

calls trinity your guys adoptive daughter

always prefers being the little spoon

makes cringey couple tiktoks with you

EYE CONTACT ( mans can never not stare at you )

nose kisses

he literally adores you

* ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* 　　 *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

he’s so baby girl i love him so much ( prt 2???? )

might make a fic based on any of these ;) feel free to request in the comments or my ask box!!!! hope you guys enjoyed <3

#jack champion #jack champion x reader #ethan landry #ethan landry x reader #spider x reader #avatar the way of water #x reader #headcannons #workinatdapryamid #🎫#drabbles #jack champion is so boyfriend i love him so much <3

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livin4mybabes · 11 months

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You need to do it | charles leclerc (twitter au)

paring: charles leclerc x reader summary: you and charles' fans are tired of his broken phone so you'll do something about it. warnings: none author's note: I'm back after many months, I hope you liked this story because I enjoyed writing it and I've been wanting to write about it for a long time because I thought it was so funny how people were complaining about Charles's phone, well, as I always say... english is not my first language so pardon me if there are mistakes —feel free to tell me—

"So, Char... we're going shopping today," you said to your boyfriend as you sat next to him on the couch.

"What do you mean when you say "we"?" He dropped his phone and turned his attention to you.

"Obviously you and me."

"Love, you know I love spending time with you but I just don't feel like it today. Why don't you ask Gemma?" He said as he tilted his head.

"Baby, it's been a while since we've hung out, it would be nice to do it to distract you a bit, please" You said as you climbed on his lap and pouted trying to convince him.

"Y/n" "Charlessss, please"

"Alright, come on" He finally said and you squealed with happiness. He couldn't resist not saying "no" for so long, he always or almost always gave in.

The whole idea had appeared after a few weeks when you were on your phone scrolling through twitter, you found many fans laughing and complaining about Charles' broken phone, which had been like that for two months and it seemed that every time it was cracking a little bit more. Although you had suggested changing it, he replied that he would, then said he didn't have time to go and buy one, which seemed a bit silly to you as he could buy one from the online shop and even you had offered to go and buy him one but somehow or other he refused so you thought this would be the opportunity to force him to do it.

Arriving at the mall you started to walk around, entering some clothing shops for you and some for Charles. Regardless of the goal you wanted to accomplish today, you loved going out with Charles anywhere, but shopping with him was great because it was like going out with your best friend. He would help you pick out clothes, he would tell you how you looked —to him, everything on you looked amazing "you look beautiful mon amour, it looks like everything you try on is made for you"— so yes, you loved shopping with him.

You did the same with him, you would try to help him find clothes that matched and he would buy them, but he always seemed to forget how to match them because his outfit in the paddock indicated that.

Eventually, you would go to the shop to make him buy it.

"Charles, I'm hungry." The idea is that near the food court, there was the Apple shop, so " casually" you would walk in there.

"Yeah, me too, let's see what we can find."

Right, your plan was working.

You started walking around the shop a bit until you decided it was a good idea to suggest a new mobile phone.

"Baby, don't you think it's time to change your phone? I mean, it works, but... at some point it won't, and..."

"You too? My fans keep making fun of it." He said pretending to be offended.

"Charles, your phone is broken as... I don't even know how you can still use it..." "Because it still works," he cut you off.

"You literally can't even see the full screen, the text and even the memes you try to show me I can't even see them because of how broken it is" I said laughing trying to make him reason.

And certainly every time he wanted to show you a funny tweet, you couldn't even see it so you didn't understand how he was still laughing at something he DIDN'T SEE.

"Besides, you have to change it because you will lose all your photos, videos because you told me you didn't pay for iCloud so you say..." You said as you headed to the checkout to pay for the charger which of course you don't need but could be useful at some point.

That's when Charles started to think about the cons of not changing his phone. Even though it was broken, it still worked, but eventually it would stop working and as you were right, he would lose all his photos, which included photos of the two of you and that would hurt, so....

"See, it wasn't that hard to do. You see, it wasn't that hard to do it. 'Don't worry, I'll help you set it up quickly,' you said smiling as you hugged him by the waist and gave him a kiss on the cheek.

"I can't believe you convinced me, you have a power over me..." "We all know that, now let's go home we might need our first pictures with your new mobile phone."

"Char, we can go into Apple, I think I need a new charger because mine doesn't work anymore."

"But, you didn't have...?" You pulled him towards the shop without letting him finish his sentence.

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dilatorywriting · 1 year

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Monster Mayhem: Donkeys & Dragons

Gender Neutral Reader x Malleus Draconia Word Count: 3.0k

Summary: In which your friends are idiots who think gallivanting around a haunted castle surrounded by lava is a great idea. And then there's a dragon.

ie. Or, I watched Shrek this afternoon and could not stop thinking about the memes of the Prefect being Donkey and Malleus as the Dragon.

[PART 1] [PART 2] [PART 3] [PART 4] [EPILOGUE]

‘Treasure beyond your wildest dreams!’ Ace said.

‘Knowledge long since lost to time!’ Deuce corrected.

‘Yeah, okay, but what is it,’ you asked.

And neither of them had an answer.

Abandoned castles suspended over a sea of bubbling lava were not your preferred holiday destination. You’d told Ace this several times. You’d begged, pleaded, to please just be normal for once. But noooo. Both the snarky, ginger, bastard and the other half of his singular brain cell had apparently decided that suicide ala boiling rocks sounded like a perfectly lovely plan for your Saturday evening.

“I’m just saying,” you huffed as the rope bridge swung worryingly beneath your feet, “taverns are a thing. Faires. Market runs. Casual side quests that won’t wind up with us being flambeed alive.”

“But there’s treasure!” Ace complained, the muddled light off the lava below illuminating his pout in a way that made it look especially punchable. “I heard there’s this really awesome magical sword! Or maybe it was a shield or something—”

“Or something,” you grit out. “What if it’s a book, huh? You can’t even read.”

“We can try!” Deuce returned, a spark of that familiar determination zipping through his blue eyes.

“Or we can sell it,” Ace said, which was certainly the more likely option of the two.

One of the rickety, wooden, slats cracked beneath the low heel of your boot and tumbled down into the lava below. Maybe it hit the gurgling pool of death with a hiss, or a whump, or some other cool sound. But all you could hear was the ringing in your ears.

“Oh my god. I’m going to die.”

“I mean, maybe,” Ace shrugged. “But at least you’ll have a cool new sword propped up at your grave or something.”

You managed to make it all the way to the other side of the horrible death bridge without plummeting to your doom. Except now you were standing at the foot an equally horrifying castle. It was massive—grand on a scale that seemed entirely impossible for something constructed in the heart of a volcano. Its dozens of ebony spires clawed at the sky. The walls crawled with grey ivy and thickets of thorns so dense that you couldn’t see even the barest hint of brick beneath. It looked evil in the way that cursed tombs felt evil—eternal, and still, and oppressive. Like a creature in its own right rather than just an agglomeration of black stone.

Ace drew his sword and Deuce readied his axe. You sighed and plucked at the strings of your stupid fucking lute, and wished once more that you’d had the foresight all those moons ago to take the cushy internship position Lord Crewel had tried to offer you. But, no. You’d wanted to be an adventurer.

The massive double doors of the entrance swung open with an eerie groan. A pair of stern looking gargoyles stood guard as the three of you cautiously made your way into the castle. You swore you could feel their eyes following you—that you’d seen them flex jagged claws into their stone perches in an aborted attempt to dive after you.

The inside of the looming fortress was no more welcoming than out. Dark, emerald, stained glass windows lined the walls—smothering any of the warmer light from the volcano and tinting the entire hall a sickly green-grey. The stone floors and walls were elaborately carved with the faded stories of dynasties long since passed, but what had once surely been immaculate craftsmanship had shifted and cracked with age—crushing floors into tight slopes and littering already narrow walkways with heavy debris.

“We just have to find the tallest tower,” Ace hummed, swiping at a few dangling trails of thorns with the blunted edge of his blade. “And then the highest room in that.”

“The treasure is never in the highest room in the tallest tower,” you complained. “You just heard that in a drinking song once.”

“Is that true?” Deuce frowned, looking terribly betrayed.

“No way!” Ace snipped. “I told you! An old crone read my fortune in her bone dice, and she said to always check the highest room in the tallest tower! Because that’s where I’d find my greatest treasure!”

“Maybe the greatest treasure is the friends we’ve made along the way?” Deuce suggested helpfully.

“No.”

So you split off from a grouchy Ace and dejected Deuce to try and find some stairs. Every room in this stupid castle was swimming in so many shadows that you could hardly tell right from left, let alone if there were any kinds of secret doors or passageways that may lead to an equally secret tower. The chamber you’d found yourself in now was gigantic, and each tentative step you took echoed discordantly through the ashy gloom. You kicked miserably at a loose rock and it skittered off into the darkness with a dull thunk. And then something… odd, began to happen. That darkness began to move—to rise and unfurl like a great set of wings on a beast. And—oh. Oh no.

“Would you look at that,” Ace whistled under his breath, neck craned all the way back as he squinted at what was most definitely the tallest of all the towers this creepy castle had to offer. “Guess what, nonbelievers. I found the—”

“DRAGON!”

Whoosh went the great swathe of emerald fire as it exploded down the barren hallway and nipped at your heels. You dove out into the open courtyard just in time to avoid being roasted alive, and the gargantuan monster behind you let out a roar fit to shake the earth. A quick tuck-and-roll left you crouched behind a fallen pillar, and the dragon’s bright, green, glower turned on you and your garbage hiding spot with a rumbling snarl. Its rows of sharp, white, teeth closing just above your head—missing its mark by barely a hair’s width.

“Gotcha!” Deuce snarled, his armored fists dragging the dragon away by its tail. Or, well, tried to. Because the dragon was a hundred feet long at least, and your blue haired friend probably looked like nothing more than a pesky rat darting between its feet. It turned and snapped at him irritably, taking a great, big, step forward in a bid to get a firmer stance to attack. You threw yourself in the other direction to avoid being trampled.

“Go!” Ace called, charging in from the other side. “Quick!”

Because at the end of the day, they were still both your brave, tanky, warrior, friends. And you were just a very, very, squishy bard who really would not fare well against a particularly motivated goose, let alone a dragon. So you skidded through the rubble and onto your feet, and started to sprint back into the castle’s halls—hoping maybe you’d be able to find a bit more cover.

There was a great clatter, and both Ace and Deuce yelped. You looked back hurriedly to see the pair of them clutching onto the dragon’s tail for dear life as it whipped them back and forth through the ash and debris cluttering the ground. With one, final, great, sweep, the dragon pitched them into the air and sent them careening through the roof of that ‘tallest tower.’ You muttered a hasty incantation and the sparkling outlines of soft feathers danced along your fingers. You hoped you weren’t too far. You were probably too goddamn far. But you hummed frantically under your breath nonetheless and entreated your middling magic to give them a soft landing.

And then there was another wave of green hellfire raining down over your head and you turned and ran.

Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck—

Even if you’d been a champion sprinter, there was little good it would have done you against a beast whose stride was longer than you were tall. You made it back into some hall or other, and into another cavernous room, and then you were pinned into a corner—the dragon looming over you like a vengeful wraith come to take its due.

It was gigantic. Probably the biggest creature you’d ever seen. And it was sleek—all lithe muscle and glossy rows of black scales that glittered oddly in the dull, grey, light. Its wings spread wide behind it, spanning the entirety of the vast chamber. They looked like the sort of wings that could stir up a hurricane. The curling horns atop its head seemed sharp enough to gore a man or twenty, and the purple crests lining its skull were tapered down flat in a way that reminded you a bit deliriously of a pissy cat pinning its ears back before it swatted at you.

Its lips curled back over pointed canines as it snarled at you, and you were showered in a swathe of hot sparks.

“Oh, what large teeth you have,” you squeaked, and when the dragon dipped closer to bellow into your face, your reeled back with a splutter. “I—I mean white, sparkling, teeth!” you rattled, nearly incoherent. The dragon’s snout twitched away, almost like you’d startled it. “I mean, I’m sure you hear this all the time from your food, but—wow! Just! Very lovely! Definitely the prettiest smile I’ll ever be eaten by!”

Slowly it lowered its great head, and you could see the neon glare from its narrowed eyes.

“Not that you have to eat me,” you added hurriedly, hoping to whatever Gods could hear you that your smart mouth could finally be useful for more than just talking circles around assholes in bars or weaseling your friends out of shitty contracts. “I’d very much like not to be eaten. But all the same, we did intrude in your home—and it’s definitely a very nice home—so I’d totally get it. And I guess if I did have to die today, knowing that my life would be in the hands of something so magnificent is certainly reassuring.”

The dragon seemed to preen a bit at that. You could see the sharp crests beneath its horns soften as tension bled from the beast’s posture. It ducked in close again, and this time you felt a sharp pull of air rush past your cheeks as it sniffed you. Its nostrils were the size your head—bigger even, maybe. You didn’t want to think about it, but the dry heat of its breath puffing into your face made the entire thing a bit hard to ignore.

“Did I mention what a charming home you have?” you rambled on. “Very aesthetic. The gargoyles at the gate were a lovely touch.”

The dragon made a low, warbling, noise in its throat that wasn’t quite a growl, but wasn’t particularly… reassuring, either. It made the hair on the back of your neck stand on end.

It ducked away—not far, just enough to reach one of the large, carved, walls at the outskirts of the room. Its long neck slithered out before pausing pointedly over an archway. It took you a long moment to realize it was gesturing to something. Another gargoyle from the looks of things—this one almost entirely crumbled away under the strains of time. You could just barely make out the shape of its square jaw and taloned fingers.

You nodded so hard you nearly gave yourself whiplash.

“Yes! I see! Very beautiful! Such fine craftsmanship!”

The dragon cooed at you. Swear on your life and all the money in your back packet. An actual, honest to God, coo. Fuck, maybe you’d managed to charm your way out of imminent dismemberment and death after all.

It ambled closer once again, a curiosity lighting its eyes and warming those neon irises into something that was less poisonous-hell-fire and more mellow-evening-in-the-forest.

Amidst all the rippling waves of ebony scales, your eyes caught on the smallest smear of crimson. Just a touch of red—right along the spikes of its tail. Carefully, cautiously, slower than molasses, you stepped forward with your hands raised. You whispered a handful of familiar words under your breath and your palms glowed fuzzy and blue. Dragons were supposed to be inherently magical, right? So this one would certainly understand that the string of syllables you’d babbled out were good, and helpful, and not at all a provocation. The dragon was looking down at you with lidded eyes, its gaze a bit unfocused. You gulped.

“I’m sorry my friends messed with your tail,” you apologized, gingerly holding your fingers out to hover over the abrasions without actually touching. “They were just trying to protect me. If—if that makes it any better.” The minuscule wound began to knit itself back together neatly beneath the pulses of your magic. “I do tend to need a lot of protecting—I’m not much a warrior, if that wasn’t completely obvious by the everything about me—so I can’t really blame them for being a bit gung-ho about it.”

After a moment or two, the scratches had faded back into solid, matte, black and you drew back with a content hum.

“There! All fixed!” You gave your most winning smile. Please don’t eat me, your brain chanted on endless repeat. Please don’t eat me please don’t eat me please don’t eat me—

The dragon reared back and settled on its haunches with another heavy puff of sweltering breath. You could feel the heat of it prickling all the way up your arms. After a long, long, moment of silent consideration, the dragon leaned forward again and rumbled deep in its chest. When you only stood there, properly petrified, it huffed again and bumped its nose against your sternum, nearly toppling you over.

“I don’t—” you started, nervous. “I’m sorry. I don’t really get what you’re trying to say.”

With another sigh that sounded entirely too put upon, the dragon lowered its great head. The air itself seemed to grow heavy against your shoulders, and you could taste the cloying bitterness of strong magics on the back of your tongue. Black miasma oozed from beneath the dragon’s talons and melted along its scales. The caustic scent of ash and petrichor burned along your nostrils, and you had to pinch your eyes shut and cover your nose to keep from coughing. You managed to sneak a peek past your fingers just in time to watch the shadowed outline of the beast collapse. And out of that puddle of black goo emerged a man. He was tall and lithe, just as the dragon had been, with glowing green eyes that were terribly familiar. They were framed with thick, dark, lashes and sat perfectly on a face that was nearly too handsome to be human (well, it really wasn’t human you supposed, so that little tidbit probably accounted for said inhuman beauty well enough). Recognizable eyes and stature or no, the curling horns atop his head would have sealed the deal plenty well enough on their own.

He shook off the shadows twining around his ankles with a lazy twist of the hand and then turned to you with a curious little hum.

And holy fuck Mister Dragon apparently had no sense of shame, or maybe just no qualms about social niceties and practicalities, because his human self was wearing about just as many clothes as his lizard form had been.

You squeezed your eyes shut with a squeak, and then double covered them with your hands for good measure.

A chuckle rolled through the air—as dark and pleasantly rich as the finest of chocolates. And then there was a clawed finger beneath your chin, tilting your head back, and back, and back until you were at least half-way sure it would probably be safe to open your eyes again without infringing on his decency.

“You are fascinating, Child of Man,” it—he—hummed, low in his throat. His thumb dragged down to hook beneath the curve of your jaw and support the finger tucked up under your chin. “And it’s been so, very, long since I’ve been fascinated by anything.”

“Uh,” you replied, like a perfectly functional human being.

The dragon’s lips curled up over his pointed teeth—still just as sharp and white as they had been when he’d been so much bigger and scalier.

“I think I’d like to keep you,” he said with a nod to himself, as casually as one may talk about picking up extra groceries from the market.

“Uh,” you said again.

“You did mention that you needed protecting,” he continued, tapping a clawed finger against his own chin. The small smile quirking his lips twisted into something smug. “And that is certainly something at which I would excel.”

Your head was swimming.

“I—I mean. I’m honored that you—that… you—” You couldn’t even think the words, let alone get them past your brain and out of your mouth. You cleared your throat and fought to keep your eyes level with his clavicle and nowhere else. “D-Don’t you think you’re moving a bit fast?” you laughed nervously. “I mean, I’m sure my friends will probably be on their way back down soon—and—I mean, we haven’t even introduced ourselves yet. I don’t even know your name.”

He blinked, slow and serpentine.

“Oh. I suppose you wouldn’t.” He canted his head to the side, long strands of that inky black hair of his spilling across his shoulder. An amused sort of grin worked its way along his mouth. “Dragons are not keen to give out our true names so readily, but you seem like a clever one. Tell me—what do you think I’m called then, hmm?”

You glanced up quickly at the horns atop his head and couldn’t help yourself.

“Tsunotarou?”

He let out a bark of laughter that seemed to shake the walls.

“Oh,” he trilled, looking positively delighted. The hand not curled beneath your chin reached down to snag your own, and he brought your wrist up to his lips. You could feel the imprints of his canines against the soft skin there. “I’ll definitely be keeping you.”

#twisted wonderland imagines #twisted wonderland #twst x reader #Malleus Draconia x Reader #Malleus x Reader #Malleus Draconia #Malleus x Yuu #Dragon Malleus #Monster Mayhem #My Writing #Monster Mayhem Malleus Part 1

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throwaway-yandere · 8 months

Text

FLAWLESS (Yandere!Various Genshin/Reader)

A/n: This is a complete interactive fic w/ CGs! There’s an HP system and 4 possible endings (yandere!Scaramouche, Alhaitham, Kaveh, and Kazuha). This is my final fanfic and I really put my best effort into drawing and writing this. Have fun!!! Your choices matter so read the evidences properly and try not to get a bad ending hahaha. (Pls answer this poll after and feel free to send me memes about who you got hAHHAHA)

Unreliable Synopsis: (Danganronpa!Genshin AU) If this is your last dance as an idol, then you do not want it. No. You’ll make the real criminal sing instead.

CW: yandere themes, blood, murders (well duh ansy–), and brief mentions of suicide.

Kazuha frowned. "For (L/n) (Y/n), this whole ordeal must seem like a flawless crime."

"They don't know the murder weapon, the suspects— no nothing." Kaveh sighed.

Alhaitham interjected. "Indeed, but the real questions will begin in a moment."

Words punctured the air in nameless accusations. Each time people enter this room, only distrust looms acting both as a safety blanket and suffocating plastic. You stared at the people left. One, two, three, four, five... You clenched your fist, and all those fingers pointed back at you.

The sixth.

There are only six survivors left.

"Say, (L/n) (Y/n)." Your Akademiyan companions stared at you as Kunikuzushi’s smirk could practically be heard in his voice. "Where were you at the time of the murder?"

You gulped.

The Teyvat Akademiya. Home only to the most renowned student of their craft. The faculty carefully picks out select groups of students to be their new freshmen- and it can only be counted by hand how many had declined such a generous offer. It was a government state university, but it was also a golden ticket to knowing people from high places.

Each student was known for contributing something in their fields of interest. In fact, both your adoptive siblings were alumni of this prestigious school. Your brother Aether was a famous "adventurer" (as he loved to call himself instead of an artifact-obsessed archeologist) whereas your sister Lumine was a remarkable swordswoman with a straight-edged track record. Even your older friends, Dainsleif, and a certain glasses-wearing individual you had forgotten the name of were graduates and now boast incredible resumes befitting of an Akademiyan. Each alumnus you've met wasn't someone any person with a head on their shoulders would dare disrespect.

But that was not the reason for your schoolmates’ evident intimidation.

“Allow them a moment to process,” Alhaitham scoffed. “The Body Discovery Announcement was approximately 2 hours ago. It’s challenging for individuals from the entertainment industry such as them to comprehend complicated matters in a few seconds.”

“I would’ve fainted at your rare attempt at empathy if it wasn't obviously pointed,” Kaveh scoffed before turning to you with a soft stare. “(Y/n), don’t listen to these two, I’m sure we can find out if you’re innocent or not later.”

You gave a short nod of assent.

Tragically, murders had become the norm for college students like yourself. No one has flinched at Kaveh’s grim mention of a suspect lurking by and none had the insanity to deny what had occurred.

It began when you first woke up in one of the Akademiya's classrooms. You stirred awake on a desk near Shikanoin Heizou, the "Detective Prince". He was a famous figure, so you instantly believed him when he said you were both hauled into this location against your will. You were enthused by his infectious desire to uncover whatever was behind the “kidnapping” you found yourselves in. He told you not to worry, that despite the barred windows and inaccessible exits, you'd both "probably" find a way out. As you both wandered around the area, you found fourteen other students (some familiar faces, some not as much). For a brief moment of hope, everyone thought escape was possible.

That was until a certain cold-eyed puppet entered the scene.

A heartless puppet you’re sure was waiting for everyone just under that elevator.

“Is… Is this everyone?” You asked like a mouse, frightened as your eyes darted for any hints of twinned cyan hair. Nothing about your recent behavior had gone unnoticed.

Senior Faruzan is missing…

Yoimiya frowned, grabbing your hand for comfort. “(Y/n)…”

Kunikuzushi scoffed. “Enough of this dumb ohhh boohoo exhibit. Let’s go.”

The most mysterious of the bunch left for the stairs immediately, punching the button on the elevator to its ground floor. Yoimiya huffed, muttering complaints about Kuni’s behavior while the three other men followed her silently. No one took the stairs two at a time and walked at a snail’s pace. A clear indication that no one wanted this to occur.

And just like in the previous cases, Kazuha’s eyes were on you the entire time but spoke nothing of this behavior.

The elevator door opened. You looked at the camera above it. If the Shogun's words are to be trusted, then the outside world is watching your every move like reality TV.

If that's the case, might as well give them a show.

Kunikuzushi stepped aside, royally ushering everyone— and specifically YOU— in.

“Idols first.”

Everyone entered the trial room. If the mood from earlier was tense, it is worse now that you’re inside. Stepping into the cold room makes the situation all the more real.

There is an execution waiting to happen, but without a hint if it’ll be “us” or “them”. Every bright person inside the room here had previously partaken in 4 of these court sessions by force. Since no one can exit the premises nor contact the outside world, the only key out was to kill and avoid getting caught. 5 people had attempted to commit murder, and considering how you’re still breathing, none of the “blackened” had succeeded in getting their way.

How… How did it come to this?

You enrolled in the Akademiya in hopes that you'd also find the subtle clues as to why Aether went missing, this wasn't in your plan.

Getting roped into this killing “game” was on no one’s to-do list. You received an invitation to enroll in the Akademiya because of your stark idol career, although your siblings being famous alumni may have greatly increased your chances of receiving that privilege. You would’ve thrown that paper into the fire if you knew you’d get dizzy upon arriving in the Akademiya and will wake up in such a heartbreaking dilemma. Hearing from a grapevine, you discovered that Kaveh was invited for his architectural drafts, Kazuha for his poems and a bit of swordsmanship in his repertoire, Yoimiya for her firework shows, and Kunikuzushi?… You don’t know. But you are wholly aware as to why Alhaitham is here as your senior— you were there when he opened his letter after all.

The “mascot” is yet to make her entrance. So, as “obedient” students, you’ve uncomfortably shuffled to the places you were meant to stand. Bile rose inside your throat as you looked at the last five students excluding yourself circling the room— with Faruzan’s crossed-out portrait to your right while Kamisato Ayaka’s on your left. It would appear that most of the dead students were on your side and the closest breathing person next to you was Kunikuzushi, who was two photographs away.

Alhaitham, Amber, Tighnari, Ajax, Albedo, Kamisato Ayaka, You, Faruzan, Xiao, "Kunikuzushi", Kaveh, Cyno, Yoimiya, Layla, Yunjin, Kaedehara Kazuha, and Shikanoin Heizou.

The deceased faces had been crossed out in bright violet paint, a nauseatingly unsubtle reminder that only six remained. Yet, the one that was meant to sit towering above was missing.

“… Where’s The Shogun?” Kazuha asked.

“Ah, so you do have a voice. And here I was about to call you a cricket. I thought our poet lost his words, considering how the previous trial ended,” Kunikuzushi mocked, rolling his eyes. “Just wait and see.”

You sighed, hoping it was quiet enough for Kuni not to have heard it.

The last trial broke everyone’s spirits and sense of camaraderie the most. Before trials, the puppet gives everyone an incentive to kill. In the Ayaka-Heizou murder case, each student was given a videotape that raised more questions than answers. Yours was a clip of Lumine, your fellow theater actors, and idol mates congratulating you for your enrollment before it cuts off to a scene of your home burned to cinders. As for Ayaka, hers was a short-lived message of her older brother asking her to come visit the clan for Thoma’s upcoming birthday— before it cuts to a gruesome scene of her brother fatally wounded on their living room floor.

“Find out what happens once you graduate!”... and then the tape ends.

Whoever was the mastermind behind this killing, you had to admit, they were an expert in psychological torture. And unfortunately for everyone, Ayaka was a smart individual— killing the most trustworthy student, Heizou, to cover her tracks better. She put up quite the fight in manipulating everyone to think that you and Kaveh were possible culprits.

You even got into an argument with the calmest person around. Kazuha was “convinced” that Ayaka was right, which led to you two entering an incredibly heated argument that left him depressed with his rejected apology. You were on "good terms" with him before, that being he would always offer to cook food and accompany you often.

… Perhaps that was a good thing. Discreetly, you thought he strangely knew you to a degree that makes you far from comfortable. It still bugs you how he knew you all too well and yet you know nothing about him other than his aspirations: traditional Inazuman poetry writing with a bit of karuta on the side.

Maybe he used to be a big fan of yours? Even so, the foundation of your music, choreography, and persona was weaved through a tapestry of feel-good lies. And yet, he was wise enough to speak your true thoughts before you even hesitated to voice them in your cheery idol tone.

But that’s not the issue right now.

The issue on your plate was that you had no evidence to prove your innocence except for the list of school rules on your E-Handbook because you were convinced someone will kill you during the investigation.

You laughed to yourself bitterly. Might as well review those rules now.

You opened the E-Handbook.

As per “school rules”, there are regulations to be had in a murder game, but none stick to you as these three. Rule #10 and #7: A class trial will commence after three or more students have discovered a corpse, and a Body Discovery Announcement will play as soon as it occurs. However, a trial will be held if and only if every survivor is present; failure to do so will result in class “expulsion.”

And the last rule that never left your mind was Rule #8: If the guilty party is exposed during the class trial, they alone will be executed.

By the end of Trial #4, she did not receive a proper execution. Ayaka was compelled to restore her honor and raised her sword to…

…

… You couldn’t hate her for it. Even though you were close friends with Heizou, you couldn’t hate any of your fellow students. They all had family, hopes, and visions for the future. Each one here was "a fledgling barely out of the nest." You couldn’t deny that you would’ve done the same.

"Since the Shogun isn't here yet, let's get a headstart," Kaveh gripped the court fence, eyeing everyone with a nervous stare and stiff posture. "What's your alibis?"

Nobody raised their voice initially. You cast a pitying glance toward Kaveh. When it comes to your closest friendships, he comes in second only to Heizou. As someone who had seen the horrors of the media which is essentially a mirror of the world's social issues, Kaveh's one of the few decent individuals left on the planet, in your opinion. In moments of quiet, you, Kaveh, and Faruzan used to chat together, with Heizou periodically interrupting to share his findings regarding everyone's entrapment.

Considering how Kaveh is your last true friend left, you volunteered yourself.

"I never left my room," you spoke audibly depressed, no longer caring that you appeared un-idol-like. "And I refused entry as well. I heard a couple of angry knocks at 9:37 p.m., but I didn't open my door for anyone."

You looked at Kazuha, hurt and accusingly.

You'd never forget how Kazuha called you a murderer. That intense argument made up 30% of Heizou's class trial. He lost his composure and called you a "dishonorable monster". The whole back-and-forth was very much unlike him. After the trial, neither of you talked– and you never left your room unless it was to get something to eat without anyone in sight.

If he was the one who killed Faruzan because he can’t get to you, then you’ll…

"9:37 eh? You got a watch now?" Kunikuzushi pointed at your wrist.

You snapped out of your aggression and nodded, which made him break out in a fit of laughter.

"HAHAHA!!!" Kunikuzushi grinned, wide. "Learned your lesson, huh?!"

You scoffed, but your ego was humbled and your heart sank at his harsh words.

Everyone in the room nearly lost their lives because of your time-blindness. It's precisely what made Kazuha suspicious of your motives. You were always unsure of the time, hence, you didn't have the most watertight alibi compared to Ayaka. Before you entered your room to lock yourself, Alhaitham blocked the door with his shoe and handed you his spare wristwatch. He was the last person you saw before your self-isolation.

"Good," Alhaitham said. "And you, Kunikuzushi?"

"Are we going to ignore that angry knocking thing?" Kaveh rightfully asked.

"Let's complete the first task first," Alhaitham answered. "Let's follow the circle; it's (Y/n), then Kunikuzushi, Kaveh, Yoimiya, Kazuha, then I."

"Conveniently putting yourself last," Kunikuzushi snarled. "But whatever. I was napping in my dorm. Woke up when I heard footsteps outside and decided to investigate. The discovery alarm rang off when I entered the nurse's office the second time."

Kaveh fell silent, his face pale.

"I… never went to m dorm that night"

"Oh?" You and Yoimiya curiously said in unison.

"I-I was with Alhaitham, patrolling!!!" Kaveh defended; his arms in the air. "I swear on my life, I was with him! We're probably the footsteps Kuni heard."

He spoke as if it was a good thing with his mouth, but he was whispering that it wasn’t with his eyes.

"Can't be certain," Kunikuzushi threw in a quick grumble and snapped his fingers. “But I think that's probably the case.”

"That makes sense. I mean, if Kuni was telling the truth then that just means there's more chance it's just those two hopping around. Oh, and I was actually on the second floor at the time. I was in the recreational room cause I wanted to get tokens for the cute little Shogun Stall.'' If Kuni’s side comment lasted a month, then Yoimiya's would be a year– but her good cheer is just what everyone needed to alleviate the tension.

"I wasn't in my dorm room either," Kazuha said. "I was in the cafeteria. I couldn't sleep so I decided to fry fish."

"True, I think. When I checked the cafeteria a knife was missing from the shelf."

"We’ll keep your fact-checking in mind, Miss Naganohara."

No soul was sure if Alhaitham was being genuine about it except for you. And the answer was yes, he was being warily appreciative. Admittedly, you don’t know any of these people before this killing game started, except for one person…

Alhaitham looked away, conscious of how you looked at him.

In all fairness, Alhaitham was closer to Lumine than you and Aether, and he wasn’t your favorite neighbor either. As a kid, he was the type who would leave in the middle of hide-and-seek simply because the ordeal wasn’t “stimulating” to his developing intellect. He had a habit of causing uncomfortable situations just to “observe” your reactions with an emotionless stare. Alhaitham had once given you a sumeru rose with a startling grasshopper to see how you would behave, and the worst part is that everyone knows he did these without malice. His grandmother had to force a sorry out of him for your tears to dry. “He probably has a crush on you, you know how boys are,” was the excuse the old lady tried, but your twin siblings were quick to shut that thought down. You and he were simply oil and water, nothing more, nothing less.

But there were times you two got along. When you aired out loud sentiments regarding how stuffy his room must be, you snatched the book he was reading and dashed up the nearest tree. Despite his grumbling reservations, he was thankful that you taught him how to climb that afternoon. That was the first you saw him smile wider than usual and offered to narrate the book you stole: The Little Prince.

However, that version of Alhaitham you’ve come to love remains awol amidst this killing game.

"As for my whereabouts: Kaveh is correct. He and I were patrolling just the first floor and exchanging conversation. Neither of us could sleep. We started at 9:15 and ended abruptly at 11:05, when we, along with Kunikuzushi, found–"

"The body." Kunikuzushi finished.

"Yes," Alhaitham said.

Kunikuzushi smirked. From your perspective, the worst part about this was not Kunikuzushi’s inappropriate smugness, but the look in his eyes that mirrored what Heizou used to have— what your good friend used to be. The light in his eyes, his more forward demeanor, the way he crossed his arms and snapped his fingers– it was as if he was copying him.

Mocking him.

You hate Kunikuzushi. You detest just how much you don’t know why he’s in the Akademiya or anything else about him other than his first name. You loathe how he had made it his job to be the antagonist of every damn class trial. You hate how he looks at you as though you’re beneath him. You despise how much he is willing to withhold vital information till the very end.

Kunikuzushi is like a commedia dell’arte stock character. A Scaramouche. An unreliable servant. You can’t trust a man who said he was moved by your acting in all your filmography only to act like he wants nothing more than to crush your spirits once lives were at stake.

After listening to everyone’s alibis, your intuition screamed from something deep within a place you had begun to trust after experiencing these trials:

Out of six survivors, FOUR of them are hiding something.

“Is everyone present?”

Before you could speak up, a low and refined woman’s voice stole everyone’s attention. All turned to gaze at the long synthetic-haired lady with a katana by her side. She returned the stares with an unfathomable coldness as she strutted to her throne, the silk of her grand kimono touching the floor.

There she is. The lone audience and judge. The puppet: the Almighty Raiden Shogun. Undoubtedly made of metal and not flesh. Xiao had learned that firsthand when he sacrificed his life in an honorable duel against the captor— but seeking freedom by force was of no use when she herself is capable of the murders she wished to witness.

“Very well. We shall begin.”

“W-Wait, hold up, ma'am!”

The last vaguely extroverted cheerleader raised her hand; her bravery to interrupt the Shogun was acknowledged.

“... Can I share my E-Handbook data with (Y/n)?” She asked, high-pitched.

The medical and criminological technology of this era eluded everyone. Trapped inside the Akademiya with no phones or any signal to the outside world, each student only has their E-Handbook to rely on. It contains information the owner investigated regarding murders and records testimonies made by their peers. A handbook is only “handy” for both people who were hoping to survive and those who were hoping to twist the facts.

And that offer is exactly what you need.

“You see– they didn’t leave their room during the investigation period– probably worried that the killer might be after them next and they kinda turned into a hikikomori for the past few days. I’m kinda worried they wouldn’t be able to defend themselves on this trial so… So, uh… Pretty please?” The blonde girl smiled nervously.

The Raiden Shogun stared, calculating.

“I shall allow it.”

“Thank you so much!” Yoimiya tapped her E-Handbook as fast as she could, more eager than you were in watching the loading screen fill up.

(SYSTEM: RECEIVING NAGANOHARA YOIMIYA’S E-HANDBOOK DATA…)

(SYSTEM: TRANSFER COMPLETE.)

You smiled at Yoimiya but it came out crooked and jaded. She didn’t complain that you weren’t at your top form today, but she did send you a loud “Do your best!” in her native tongue.

The Shogun walked to the throne and took her seat.

“Now then, let the class trial begin.”

Out like a bolt of lightning, the doors behind you were completely shut with metal bars in her flick of a wrist. In her twisted form of justice, she hammered the circular surface with her gavel.

“Court is now in session.”

(SYSTEM: TAP HERE TO CONTINUE)

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soobnny · 10 months

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classmate au | park jay

❝ come with me to the canteen, i’ll pay for whatever you want ❞

honestly, jay usually just keeps to himself

sooooooo campus crush.

someone play message in a bottle by taylor swift

he only goes crazy when he’s with his friends but like tbh i don’t see him going around and socializing in the classroom 😭

he usually waits for his classmates to come to him ykwim

he’s also def a morning person

arrives to school like a whole HOUR before class starts

his parents probably drive him to school and drop him off on the way to work

he’ll just be sitting in his seat in the middle

minding his own business .. doing last minute homework .. on his phone

jay is annoying bc he’s the natural smart type

like he’ll just know random shit

he’s the type to mumble the answers under his breath during oral recitation

TO HELP !!!! TO HELP !!!!

you only have a few memories with the boy and the most prominent is just so silly

you had one of those by-three quiz bee type of activity in school where u had to write ur answers on a small whiteboard and raise them

jay’s group was seated in front of you

and he’d just notice you leaning forward and trying to copy off them bc ur team is hopeless 😭😭😭😭

SO he angles his whiteboard while answering so you can see better

to the point where when the teacher looks back he just shoves it in ur face right away

ur teams laughed so hard

but yah !!!! just a funny memory to remember him by

you don’t realize you live in the same neighborhood until you commute back home together once

insert spider-man meme here

“you also live here?”

“yeah, i do”

so, on the occasion that his parents pick him up from school in their fancy car, he lets you ride with them back home

and when commuting, he always makes sure to guarantee you a seat if that’s like a train or bus

also stands in front of you so strangers can’t be weird and creepy

since then, you always ride with him home whether that’s in their family car or commuting

it’s a silent agreement

and he gets so used to it to the point that he WAITS for you sometimes…

[faints]

you’d be caught up in your club meeting and just see jay hovering outside the classroom???

he’s on his phone, totally unaware of you heading towards his direction

“hey, you done?,” he’ll say, backpack swung behind him as he reaches to take yours

“you didn’t have to wait for me,” you’d reply shyly

“but we always go home together, don’t we? besides, it’s getting late and it’s not safe for you to commute back home at night”

JAYYYYYYY… the man that you are

when he gets comfortable, he starts talking to u in class too

like not just casual conversation

he’d full on sit next to you and gossip

which surprises u bc you’ve never seen him willingly get off his seat to gossip with someone

NOW important thing to note is that your canteen is like three buildings away from your classroom so it’s a long walk

this mf always asks you to come to the canteen with him during free period or when the teacher doesn’t show up to class

“let’s go to the canteen”

“no, it’s tiringgg”

“i’ll get you whatever you want”

“ok let’s go!”

he’s balling 😭😭😭😭

jay just lets you get whatever you want in the canteen

true to his word, he pays for all of it

it’s kind of being his secret tactic to manipulating you to come with him to things

but who’s rly winning??? you get FREE things and u hang out with THE pretty jay

he thinks he wins tho😕😕 bc he likes u and loves spending time with u

so when that “no” forms on ur lips, he knows exactly what to do to force you to come with him

THO u do pay for his food sometimes or the fare for commuting back home bc u feel bad for taking his money

oh jay also gives me the one who offers to have practice over at their house

you are a frequent visitor in his house

his parents know u… the housekeepers… everyone just knows you at this point

you even go to some of their family dinners together when u hang out and his dad suddenly wants to eat out

“bring (name)” PLSSSSSS

they’d be interrogating u and getting to know u and ur family lots

jay’s the one that gets embarrassed and tells them to stop !!!!!!!

sometimes his mom would let him bring food for u in school

“this is (name)’s favorite, right??”

his parents LOVE you

u just become part of their family 😭

to the point that they say “about time” when jay finally asks you to be his girlfriend

“finally!!! she was basically already my daughter anyway!!!” his parents would say

BUT THE QUESTION IS

How does he ask u to be his gf

i have a story for U !!!!!!!!

it’s one of ur school events and u’re one of the people going around taking photos for the paper or so u could post it on the school page

you would stumble upon him during his contest

he would give you a quick smile before going back to Concentration Mode

THEN u kind of get tired walking around the whole campus so u hang by ur room where all ur other classmates with no contests are

AND THERE’S A GUITAR

you don’t know how to play the guitar

you jokingly get it and put it on your lap just as jay walks into the room

his eyes light up and he’s stumbling to sit next to you, asking if you know how to play

you don’t 💔💔💔💔💔

so he teaches you BYE

he helps you learn some basic chords and some strumming patterns

would whisper a few words of praise even at the smallest things that you get right

jay is SOOOOO encouraging that it’s painful

would make so much accidental eye contacts at ur close proximity

anyways this school event lasts a few days

SO at the last day .. during awarding .. he asks if you’re busy and if you could meet him at ur classroom

it’s empty obv bc everyone is at the court for the awarding

HE CONFESSES

Yes just like that. jay confesses to u.

it’s so clear he’s nervous bc of his foot tapping and his fumbling hands and how he can’t make eye contact all of a sudden

ofc u say YES

when you go to upload the photos for the school event .. u find some pictures of u taken by him 🥹

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zvaigzdelasas · 18 days

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A few years ago, I noticed that a number of factories in China had started opening TikTok accounts and posting footage from their assembly lines. The videos offered a rare glimpse into global supply chains, and millions of Western TikTok users marveled at teddy bears being stuffed with polyester fiberfill, machines dipping gardening gloves into hot liquified nitrile rubber, and quality assurance testers seeing whether cheap cigarette lighters worked. (My friend and former colleague Andrew Deck wrote a great story about factory TikTok for Rest of World in 2021.)

Since then, hundreds of other Chinese factories have joined TikTok. Some of them produce industrial equipment that would never be bought by normal people, like dump trucks or bottle labeling machines. And while the older factory accounts were often created by marketing agencies, these newer ones seem to largely be the work of earnest salespeople trying to find new customers. Many of them are relying on AI translation and text-to-speech tools, making the videos unintentionally sound very funny.

One of these manufacturers is a company called Donghua Jinlong, which is headquartered in Hebei province about 200 miles from Beijing. It sells “high quality industrial grade glycine,” a type of nutritional additive that evidently sounds silly and abstract to people who never need to think about how processed food is made. Donghua Jinglong and its glycine have become a relatively big meme on TikTok, Instagram, and X over the last few days, and some of the company’s videos are getting over 100,000 views (even though its official account only has roughly 4,400 followers).

Donghua Jinlong itself, however, doesn’t seem to have any idea what’s going on. People in the comments keep begging it to make official merch, but the company doesn’t understand why anyone would want a sweatshirt or t-shirt with the name of an industrial manufacturer on it. Shitposters have also started referencing the Donghua Jinlong meme in the comments of videos from other Chinese factories.

A company called HengYuan, for example, posted a video of what can only be described as a machine for filling Tide Pods, and one of the top comments is someone asking “Could you pack food grade glycine in this?”

Clearly baffled, HengYuan responded, “No. This is used to pack detergent in PVA Film.”

The Donghua Jinlong meme is a great microcosm of what’s actually happening on TikTok when it comes to content from China. Some people might argue that Chinese manufacturers are choosing to post on the app because its parent company, ByteDance, is also from China. In other words, these factories could be held up as an example of TikTok allowing Chinese influence to grow in the US (albeit a bizarre one).

But Donghua Jinlong also has a Facebook page with even more followers, it’s just that no one is engaging with its posts there. That’s because there are likely very few people searching social media for a new glycine supplier at any given time. TikTok, however, doesn’t rely on users to actively seek out content, it serves videos to them via an algorithm. So now tons of random people are coming across glycine manufacturers and Tide Pod machines by accident, and they’re happily turning the whole thing into a joke.

I personally find these videos to be fascinating, both because It’s cool to learn how things are made, and because they provide the opportunity to watch in real time what happens when random Chinese companies come into contact with American social media users. I don’t think this is the type of Chinese influence lawmakers are imagining when they worry about TikTok, but it’s arguably much more interesting and human.

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preeningpisces · 1 month

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Choso NSFW Headcanons

Lemme know if you want me to elaborate/write something about any of these ♥️

18+ content below, mdni, implied chubby f!reader

❥ Choso is extremely submissive in the way that he will do whatever you want in bed. If you want to be dominated, through your guidance and some trial & error, he’ll do it for you happily. If you want to tie him up & make him cry, he’ll gladly cry the prettiest tears for you

❥ You have to remind him he needs to discover his own wants & desires, rather than going along with whatever you want

❥ Can be very dirty because he doesn’t really have a sense of shame when it comes to sex. For instance, he sees licking your neck no differently than licking your foot, and is confused when you react negatively. He wasn’t exactly raised with any societal/cultural influences on his sexuality

❥ He does some odd shit like bite your armpit and when you chastise him he turns into the sad hamster meme

❥ We all know he busts in like 3 seconds, does it need to be said? He can’t help it—his dick is brand new, fresh off the shelf

❥ Bro cannot get enough when you first start having sex together; he can be pushy at times LOL but will relent & be respectful if you ask him to

❥ Very INTENSE. He prefers positions where he can make eye contact, and this mfer will stare into your soul the whole time. Also likes positions where he can get your tits in his mouth

❥ Doesn’t tend to be playful in bed, but will try to match your energy if you are

❥ Period sex makes him go craaaaazy. He’s all up in there in every way. He earns his red wings immediately

❥ I know in my soul that he’s hairy. He’s a hairy guy! No way he isn’t. Exfoliate your face with his hairy titties

❥ Lowkey into body hair himself, and doesn’t get why people are so obsessed with shaving. Likes feeling your legs when they get prickly, or if the hair is grown out. Absolutely LOVES an 80s bush

❥ On that note, anything that is naturally so human gets him going, like sweat. Kind of into musk too. He’s the type that likes it when you’ve marinated a bit LMFAO kind of pouts if you insist on showering before he goes down on you. So cute

❥ His cum doesn’t shoot, it leaks, and there’s a fuck ton of it. Stroking him through his orgasm is really fucking messy, and really fucking hot

❥ Oh my god he is awful at dirty talk at the beginning, bitch has NO CLUE what to say

❥ He learns tho, don’t you fret. Like I said, he doesn’t really get embarrassed when it comes to sex, but he also has no concept of what’s considered sexy and what’s not. You just have to survive the awkward stage (and maybe share some source material for him to reference)

❥ Fucking loves titties. Even when you aren’t having sex, just cuddling, that’s where he likes to rest his hands the most. If you have heavy tits he’ll offer to support them for you. It’s a genuine act of kindness, but also one he benefits from greatly. Rests his head on your chest when he needs to unwind

#Choso smut #choso x reader #choso x you #choso x chubby reader #chubby reader #divider by k1ssyoursister #dreams of choso ☁︎#headcanons ☽#choso headcanons #dreams ☽#wet dreams ☽

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cold-kitty · 18 days

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Remember the Yandere Neuvillette fic? Well you know that one meme that goes like "I have two sides"? That's how I am with Neuvillette. On one hand, I like to think of him as the sweet goober that was in that fic. On the other hand? Well...

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Contains: NSFW (not with darling), murder (not darling), Neuvillette is quite literally insane, Neuvillette is slightly rough with darling (not sexually), abuse of power, mentions of kidnapping, stealing darlings things, Neuvillette has masochistic tendencies

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Yan!Neuvillette who hires you as an assistant. you tidy up a bit, bring him things he needs, just normal things.

Yan!Neuvillette who stares at you, stares. he only works half of the day, the rest of that time is spent staring at you.

Yan!Neuvillette who will invite you to lunch everyday, insisting that he pays even though you want to. oh don't worry, it's not like it's a date. even though it should be...

Yan!Neuvillette who will steal your used napkins, spoons/forks/chopsticks, leftovers, anything that you've touched or put your mouth on.

Yan!Neuvillette who takes those things home with him, swiping the saliva off of them and is immediately tugging down his pants.

Yan!Neuvillette who is definitely physical with you. hugs, patting your head, hooking your arm in his, standing a little too close to you, etc.. but he's very insistent with it, and he doesn't care if you turn down the offer, it only makes him squeeze you harder than usual (which is abnormally hard for someone who's supposed to be platonic with you).

Yan!Neuvillette definitely swipes some of your clothes, gaslighting you that you didn't wear it. gloves? no silly, you didn't wear any.

Yan!Neuvillette who also finds the cologne you use, spraying it on all over his room, especially his pillow.

Yan!Neuvillette is a pillow fucker 100%, his pillow is constantly nestled between his plush thighs as his hips move feverishly against it.

Yan!Neuvillette who talks to his pillow, pretending it's you. begging it, whining with it, holding it as if it were a person. p-please love- ngh... please please please i wanna cum, please- darling please l-let me- hah- cum...

Yan!Neuvillette who has fantasies of you randomly bending him over his desk, ripping his clothes apart and absolutely ravaging him.

Yan!Neuvillette who has a certain ache for pain with you. slap him, kick him, hit him, bite him, strangle him, he'd even let you cut him for Christ's sake. make him bleed and cry, bruise him and make him sore. anything that you do is ecstasy for him, and he would love you to have power over him like that.

Yan!Neuvillette who goes batshit feral when you're affectionate with someone. teeth gritted, body twitching, eyes wide with rage, but he would never ever do anything to hurt you, so he simply slits the persons throat.

Yan!Neuvillette who will quite literally tweak the law just so he can have an advantage, making loopholes so he can legally kidnap you. the government doesn't even need to know, he'll just change it whenever he wants.

Yan!Neuvillette who will stop at absolutely nothing to have you, he'll kidnap you, blackmail you, threaten people you love, anything.

Yan!Neuvillette who - if pushed to this point - will accuse you of a crime and label you guilty, sentencing you to 'behavior correction' with him for the next year.

Yan!Neuvillette who really, really doesn't like the look on your face when he takes you to his home, as much as he likes having power over you, it makes him feel sick. you're crying, begging him to understand that you haven't done anything wrong, that you were framed.

Yan!Neuvillette who won't hurt you unless you try to run away, and even then it's only a few smacks on the back with a wooden paddle. he hates your tears.

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There are only two Yandere Neuvillette's (in my opinion), the sweet baby from the first fic, and whatever rabies infested rat this is.

~🐈‍⬛

#yandere smut #yandere x reader #yandere x male darling #yandere x you #yandere #male yandere #yandere neuvillette

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taggedmemes · 4 months

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SENTENCE MEME BALDUR'S GATE 3 / PART ONE

i think you're past the point of saving.

together we might survive.

get me out of this damn thing.

we have no time for stragglers.

do you intend to die for a stranger?

i thought that damn thing was going to be my coffin.

you keep dangerous company.

we can watch each other's backs along the way.

enough of this chatter.

who put you in charge?

i'll trust my own judgement.

a miracle, given everything you've been through.

it'll all be for nothing if you don't find help soon.

you're alive. i'm alive. how is this possible?

seems like we're the lucky ones, judging by all the corpses strewn about.

anything's an improvement on where we just came from.

'we'? you want to stay together?

we need each other.

i can't think of better company.

i wanted to thank you again.

you should be furious, shouldn't you?

kill it yourself — you look capable enough.

i was hoping for a kind soul.

let's try to keep that lovely neck of yours in one piece.

no need for this to get messy.

i need her alive.

and to think i was ready to decorate the ground with your innards.

please, allow me to introduce myself.

of course it'll turn me into a monster.

you should travel with me.

our odds are better together.

i was ready to go this alone.

maybe sticking with the herd isn't such a bad idea.

you seem like a useful person to know.

let's hope any future acquaintances don't hold a blade to your throat by way of introduction.

no harm in a little mystery.

conversation shouldn't be made, it should be grown.

maybe i'd like to get to know you better.

i'm usually better at this.

couldn't have phrased it more repellently myself.

you don't happen to be a cleric, by any chance? a doctor, surgeon? uncannily adroit with a knitting needle?

it's not exactly a common affliction.

a parasite shared is a parasite halved.

you're both twice as tall as me but have half the bloody backbone.

no point getting killed.

second worm gets the cheese and all.

nobody's getting any damn cheese.

she obviously sees your kindness as weakness.

don't let her take advantage.

a simply 'thank you' wouldn't go amiss.

your friends abandoned you.

i've got plenty of friends who aren't soft.

let's just hope she reserves those impulses for any common foes.

what a curious way to awaken.

what is the worth of a single mortal's life?

something the matter?

you must have thoughts about our little stowaways.

thinking about it won't help.

i suppose we'd go our separate ways — not a slight on your company, of course.

no reason for us to not stay together if we get on well.

if we do survive, we'll have separate lives to return to.

let's just say it's a very person, very private acquaintance.

you're not the kind of company i'd keep willingly.

perhaps i'll return the favor at some point.

she's delightful, in a very 'look at me twice and i'll dismember you' kind of way.

i understand much beyond your comprehension.

you'd do well to observe more and question less.

and they didn't cut you from navel to neck?

i am still getting used to people like you.

that large, fleshy nose of yours looks like a mistake.

best to keep quiet, lest any drivel leak from your lips.

i do not intend to stay long in this place.

may your actions express the same mettle.

anomalies lead to surprises.

what hasn't happened may yet come to pass.

not a collaboration i'd have anticipated.

can't you tell me something real about you?

i have a great respect for privacy, especially my own.

i have a very disciplined mind.

those tricks won't work on me.

please don't try that again unless i invite you to.

we meet again, as predicted.

care to explain why you're helping me?

what kind of services can a skeleton offer?

a monster forms inside us, and you care to be idle?

i knew your kind to be fragile.

don't you know an exhausted warrior is an ineffective one?

it's a thickheaded notion in a complex circumstance.

what were you two talking about?

if that was any of your business, we'd have called you over.

your business is mine.

we're entwined.

if we're to survive, we need to trust each other.

you seem reliable.

we're overdue some good fortune.

#sentence meme #rp meme #sentence starters #bg3 meme #roleplay meme #inbox meme

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lady-griffin · 8 months

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Can I offer you some Jinx memes in this trying time (between arcane seasons)

#She's just a silly little gal #Jinx #Arcane #Arcane Memes #Jinx Memes #Arcane Jinx #Funny Arcane #Funny Jinx

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valuunit · 9 months

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Mums don’t cry

Summary: Y/n’s mood changes and sicknesses happen to be more than just that.

lmao i don’t know why i put that tittle, but The Cure rules.

Content: soft husband!harry :DD pregnant afab!reader, use of she/her, mention of food and vomit (pregnancy symptom), la la land spoilers(?) and that’s it ig.

Disclaimer: English is not my first lenguaje so if there’s any mistake i’m sorry, i’ll try to correct it.

“No, i’m staying with Y/n, she’s not been feeling good. Enjoy though, oh! And bring some tiramisu.”

“ ’M sorry, H” she said struggling to stand up from the bathroom’s floor.

“No, no, there’s nothing to be sorry ‘bout. Now come here, i’ll help you clean yourself and we can go watch a movie. You said that watching Ryan Gosling everywhere made you want to bing his movies.” Harry kneeled in front of her offering his hand.

“Mhm” Y/n said without any sign of excitement. Her hand reached the toilet’s chain and released her sickness before lean into the sink and wash her mouth a total of four times.

“Think that enough, you’re gonna get sick again if you keep pulling the brush all the way down your throat.” he chuckled taking the brush out of her hand.

“Wait, throw it in the trash, please.” she said before shoving some more water in her mouth.

“But it’s clean.”

“It’s not, but i’ve had it for over 3 months.”

“Okay miss.”

“It’s Missus, Mister.”

“You feeling better, Missus?”

“I think, it was probably all the crap i’ve been eating.”

“The holidays are for something, don’t you think?”

“I guess.” her mood “I’m sorry.”

“I told you, you don’t have to…”

“No, i’m sorry for being so grumpy this past few days, i don’t know what’s happening.” she said as some tears began to accumulate in her eyes and her head goes to her husband’s chest.

“Oh, honey, don’t worry, it was part of our vows, being here through thick and thin, right?” he grabbed her cheek and smiled warmly, with her blurry vision she just saw a charming white downward D but she returned it.

“Love you.”

“Love you too.”

“Now you can see me fantasize with Ryan Gosling.”

“No problem, i’ll do the same.”

They giggled like toddlers and went to the kitchen for some snacks.

“Some popcorn will do it?” said Harry grabbing a package of microwave popcorn.

“Yeah, although is there a peanut butter and chocolate? i’ve been craving some of it.”

“Hm, we have a package of truffles but no peanut butter…”

“It’s okay, all perfect.”

“Well, what do you think of you picking the first movie and i’ll be there when these are ready.”

“Okay.” she gave him a peck kiss. “This is like the honeymoon all over again.” and began to walk to the lounge.

“I hope we never leave that stage.” Harry said loudly making sure she heard. She blew him a kiss and sat on the couch.

Y/n grabbed her phone to google in which platform was La La Land on. She didn’t even knew if the villa’s TV had more than 3 streaming services.

“Already picked one?”

“I’m checking where is it.”

“I bring you some water, i like my woman hydrated.”

He let out a little laugh “Thanks, love.”

They snuggled in the middle of the couch and concentrate in enjoying the movie.

Everything went well, they got to the point in the movie that showed what would’ve happened if they had ended up together.

Harry made a pout, watching the montage of the couple having a kid, but beside him Y/n began to sob, but in a concerning way.

“Everything okay, love?”

“Y-yeah, it just...” she went quiet to hear the final notes of song that Sebastian was playing in his bar. And led out another sob. “It’s so sad, because they loved each other, b-but they couldn’t make their dreams come true if the stayed together a-and they will always love each other…”

“It’s okay” Harry couldn’t help but feel a mixture of concern and a little bit, just a bit, of fun, watching her being so invested in a movie that they’ve watched several times. “Sometimes that’s how life goes.”

“What a bullshit life we live in.” He audibly laughed at that, remembering the joker memes, she also laughed “Okay, i heard it.”

And just like that she was laughing like anything happened.

“Wanna see another movie?”

“I don’t know, ‘m tired.”

“Wanna go to bed?”

“Yes please.”

When they were getting up of the couch Y/n felt sick again, she ran to the nearest bathroom and let it all out. That took Harry by surprise, one moment he was folding the blanket they where using and talking about other movies and the other he was grabbing his wife’s hair.

“Don’t know what’s happening to me, H. It feels like something more.” she rested her back into the cold wall opposite to the toilet

She recalled when she was sweaty and exhausted she blamed italy’s sun, when her mood changed drastically she blamed her personality, when she felt disgust out of nowhere and ended up vomiting she blamed the food and spices she was not used to, but everything as a whole was sign of other thing.

“Like what?” Harry said concerned thinking of the worst.

“I-i… i’ve been feeling weird lately and all my symptoms are, you know, hm, signs of pregnancy.”

“… Like what?” he repeated too shocked to say other thing.

“Mood change, um, craving could be described, the constant exhaustion, vomit…”

“Want me to go for a test?”

“What if paps catch you?”

“Who cares about them?” he said excitedly, this could be one of the happiest days of his life, and he couldn’t wait.

“Pr team, probably.” Y/n said tired.

“Well, I think they’ll understand. You’ll be good on your own? O could ask one of the guys to get a test on their way here.”

“I’ll be good, also we aren’t certain if i’m… pregnant, don’t want to alarm anyone and I’m pretty sure they’ll be back ‘till midnight.”

“You’re right. Well, i’ll be right back, honey.”

“Thanks.”

Harry literally sprinted to the nearest corner store as soon a he closed the villa’s door. Not caring of anything else, he ran through a fairly small business, not more than 5 minutes away, or that what he felt, until he viewed the boxes he was so desperate for, he grabbed three different ones and ran to the cash register, an old man smiled kindly at him. The interaction was short but cute.

When Harry grabbed the tests the man said to him "Buona fortuna." (good luck). With Harry's poor italian he said "Grazie" and ran back to Y/n.

"That was quick" Y/n was waiting by the door when he arrived.

"I always am, hun…” Harry said out of breath.

Y/n laughed and grabbed the bruised boxes from his hands. "I'm nervous"

"There's nothing to be nervous about, love."

"Well, then, there I go." she let a loud shaky breath and entered the bathroom again.

"Love you."

"Love you too." her voice muffled by the door.

Harry was also nervous, but in a good way nervous, what a good timing, he thought, they been wanting to start a family since last year, well, since forever, but actively trying ever since. He remembered the doctor appointments, the times they had sex just because an app told them to, and the disappointment in their faces when the test were negative, over and over again. And now, they were the happiest they've been, he just finished love on tour, Y/n finished her second book and taking a vacation with all their friends and family.

"Har...ry, come in, please." he did so immediately.

"Everything okay?" his voice was shaky. The tests were all perfectly lined up on a counter all of them facing down.

"Yes, I wanted you to be here." she was crying again, but the smile in her face denoted happiness and anxiety.

"Remember that no matter what the tests say, we'll be fine, and keep trying if you want."

"Thanks." she muttered hugging him.

"Thank you" he hugged her back kissing her hair.

"Can you check one first, please?"

"Sure"

While still hugging her he picked one of the tests and checked. His heart stopped when there was just one line across the screen.

"Uhm, what does one line means?" he asked, wanting to be in the wrong.

"N-negative..."

Y/n pulled away from the embrace to confirm what Harry was saying.

"It's okay, we got two more left."

"Yeah." Y/n said not really expecting any different result. She grabbed one and Harry the other.

Y/n's test said 'Incinta 2-3 settimane*' And Harry's had two vertical lines.

"Oh god, this one say-"

"My phone! Where is it." Y/n said quickly.

"What?"

"I need a confirmation."

She opened the translator and typed the test's result, it gave 'Pregnant 2-3 weeks'

"Oh my god! What does yours says?"

"That you're pregnant!"

"This one too!" she jumped into her husband's arms rounding his waist with her legs.

"Two out of three." he said shocked.

"I'll take it. Tomorrow we could go to a doctor."

"I can't wait." he said happily.

"Neither can i."

"Thank you, thank you love." he kissed her nose.

"I couldn't have done anything without your contribution, love, thank you too." she cupped his cheek as he laughed.

"Let's go to bed, tomorrow might be a big day.”

Y/n, attached to him in a koala style, and Harry Styles went to the bedroom full of bliss and expectancy for tomorrow.

“Where were you guys all morning? We waited you for breakfast” Gemma said laying on a sun chair near the villa’s pool, where the radiant couple just arrived.

“Uh, went for some air.” Harry responded.

“Oh, how are you feeling, Y/n?”

“Much better.” Y/n smiled widely to her sister-in-law. “I’m going for some water, want some?”

“I’m good, pumping, thanks.”

“Gem?”

“I have some here, thank you, Y/n/n.”

Y/n walked into the kitchen with a happy pace and Harry admired her silhouette in that white dress he loved so much.

“Are you guys high?”

“What?”

“Why are you smiling so much? it’s creepy.”

“We’re happy.” he said jokingly annoyed. “Also, i have something to tell you.”

“Y/n’s pregnant?” Gemma guessed, siting straight and taking her glasses off.

“How’d you know?”

“I didn’t, but the pregnancy tests in the bathroom gave me an idea. Congratulations!” the siblings hugged tightly.

“Thank you!”

“You’re finally becoming a dad. Ahh!”

“I know, ahh!”

“Why are you screaming like hyenas in cocaine?”

“Y/n, congrats, darling.” Gemma hugged her.

“Oh Gemma, thanks.”

“You’ll be the greatest parents and i’m gonna be the greatest aunt.”

The three laughed. “I’m pretty sure you’ll be, Gem”

#harry styles #harry styles fanfiction #harry styles imagine #harry styles x reader #husband!harry #harry styles fluff #soft!harry #harry styles x you #harry styles x yn #harry styles blurb #harry styles y/n

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