#can anyone tell how deep in cg space i am | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

nunukim-182 · 3 years

Text

Guilty [Revin Fic]

"Red! Good morning!"

"Red, did you see the Justin Timberlake concert yesterday?"

Two of the most popular kids at school, Wendy and Bebe, came up to me.They are my friends which I met in third grade, and they were popular and cool. All the boys and girls look up at them. And also, I was between them. Speaking of me, I am in the cheerleader team, and I’m the most hottest girl in my class. I had to maintain my dignity, and show myself to the most popular quinces. I could not break my fantasy about myself. and...

"Red, hi!" While I was talking to my friends, I looked back. Kevin Stoley. My childhood friend, and the class-famous geek boy. The faces of my friends are not unusual. Everyone's expression is, "Do you hang along with that nerdy kid?"

Red, I wanted to talk to you, Kevin said. I hurriedly ignored him and continued talking with my friends, his voice beginning to grow smaller and smaller, and I focused on my friends’ conversations to avoid thinking of him.

Looking back a long time later, I looked around. He was not there. My friends forced me to lunch. I can’t stop thinking about Kevin Stoley.

I am the worst person in South park.

I hurried back home, shrugging off the story of my friends playing. I pulled out the Star Wars DVD in my drawer and put it into my PC. I watched each of the scenes of the eighties’ crude CGs. I felt calm in my mind. In fact, I like Justin Timberlake and pretty, shiny things, but I also liked SF-related items and cosplaying. I knew that if I show my nerdy side,my reputation would fall to the bottom at school. So I had to act like I’m not a nerd. I was really envious of some kids who showed their nerdy ways. They've lost popularity, but they absorbed in their own favorites. If I could have lived without being seeing other kid’s reactions of mine...

I couldn't stop thinking about Kevin Stoley while watching the movie - our first meeting was when we were four. His dad was a huge movie fan, so we’d always went to theater once a week, or rent a video at home to watch a movie together- mostly a space opera movie. I didn’t understand the scenes and the plots because I’m too young, but we focused when they fight with a Lightsaber. When the movie was finished, we played together and went home. Kevin always played as Han Solo, and I was Princess Leah. It was so fun.

I want to go back to those days.

I wish I could talk to Kevin again.

Wouldn't he is better than the girls who acts like two-faced Bitch?

While I was thinking about this and that, a text came.

[Hey, can you come out?]

Clyde Donovan. He was putting on airs because he won the most cutest kid in girl’s vote. I thought he was not cool. He's a little dumb. And the fact every girls know that Clyde Donovan like Bebe Stevens.

And you want to see me? Do he wants to hook me up?

I thought I can meet him once, and I pauzed the movie and went to the place where he called.

Stark’s Pond. It was the place where Kevin and I seeing stars through telescopes when we was first grade. I'm with a little- short fatass in a place of memory. It's the worst of the worst.

Clyde Donovan didn’t know the truth. He won the first place because the girls cheated the results for using him buying shoes. Also I cheated,too. The shoes are so pretty, so I have to get them somehow.

"Red. I wanted to meet you once. Do you want to date with me?"

What the fuck is he talking about? Besides,I don't really feel he likes me.

"Why? Don’t you have liked someone before?"

"Is there a reason for dating somebody? Oh! And I'll buy you shoes, too. My dad bought some good shoes today. It’s new."

That was a stupid answer. Yeah, you want to hook me up cause you think you’re so cute. Or did he want to make Bebe jealous? And in my head, angel and the devil are fighting. The conscience that I should never date with this fatass for Kevin's sake, and the other side, the sweet devil whispered to me that I can get new shoes every day if I date with Clyde.

Eventually I had to raise the devil's hand.

The news of the Fatass Clyde Donovan and Red McArthur dating spread quickly.

The girls were horribly envious. I know why they envy me. Because I can get Brand new shoes for Clyde every day. And the fatass keep his promise. Clyde sent me shoes every day. This was also possible because Clyde was a well-off kid in the South park.

But I haven't seen Kevin's face since I shaked my hands with the devil.

I can’t feel I’m dating well. In my mind, I should have dumped this fatass and met Kevin Stoley. I don't want to hear this pig's crappy-third-rate drama filtring...

In any situation, Kevin and Clyde’s actions always compared. When we have dinner together, when we have a cheesy conversation...Kevin would have done better. Kevin would never have done this. Already my heart was full of Kevin Stoley, the Geeky kid.

Walking at the hallway with the girls, I noticed Kevin's face while he was talking to Bradley. Kevin looked pretending to be okay but dark. You must be upset and angry. I understand. What I did was really cheap to be blamed for. The pile of shoes only made me feel like I was strangling. I don't want to date with this pig anymore.

I took out my phone to contact the fatass by text message. Surprisingly, the pig had a text message first.

[See you for a second.]

Why did Clyde want to meet me now?

I went to the place where he asked. The backyard of a school It's a place where Goth kids smoke. They weren't there. Clyde taked time to say something.

"Let's stop dating now. "

Hell yes! I was so happy that I almost flew into the sky. That's what I was going to say! But if I like it too much, I'll have a bad reputation, right?

"Yes. I don't care if you think so."

"Uh. You'll meet a nice guy someday. "

The Devil's contract for such a week was fortunately over. Later, when it turned out that Bebe was in the lead of cheating, I only knew that Clyde was in a big betrayal and had a huge fight with Bebe. But I don't care about their love affair. I had to pay attention to myself for now. I took out my smartphone to contact Kevin. I had to talk to him, this pig has nothing to do with me.

At that moment my hand stopped. Will Kevin ever be happy about this? Or will he get angry at me?

It was complicated. I've been avoiding Kevin because of his falling popularity and geeky ways, and I didn't know if he'd accept me or not. But I certainly wanted to talk.

I didn't avoid Kevin because I didn't like him.

I'm just fear of my bad reputation.

I'm sorry I've been acting like a dick all the time.

I like Kevin.

But I couldn't send a message because I didn't have the courage to say these words. In the end, I decided to keep it in my mind.

I'm a coward.

A month has passed. Kevin's face brightened up. Still, he never greeted me as first as before. Did he give up on me? I didn't feel very good. I wanted Kevin to come up to me again. Maybe he's trying to distance himself, just like me in the old days.

It was a moment when I learned what Kevin felt about me in the past. I thought I should have told him quickly. But if I starting hang out with Kevin... Everybody will think it’s weird What do Wendy and Bebe think of me?

I hated myself for thinking like a nerdy kid about Kevin. I wanted to be honest. I couldn't even tell anyone. But I didn't want to ask my mom and dad for help. I could see the answer what they say. Mom was a redneck, so I could see exactly what she was going to say, and Dad would gloss over it somehow. Adults are not helpful.

I have to change!

I'm not going to hide it anymore.

At this rate, Kevin might get farther away.

When I came to my senses at that moment, I was standing in front of Kevin breathing hard. Next to him, his friends - Francis, Bradley and Dogpoo - were looking at me with a look of "What's going on?". Kevin's face began to turn red. Kevin's expression looked a little complicated. He looked at me and was at a loss what to do. I took a deep breath and shouted at his shoulder.

"Kevin! See you at Stark’s Pond today! After dinner!"

"Huh?"

“What ‘Huh?’ Kevin! I'm serious! Don't hang out anyone tonight! See you at 7.pm!"

Leaving Kevin alone in confusion, I hurried out of school. Heavy snow was falling in the gloomy sky. White, big snowflakes bumped into me. The snow on my hot face melted and cooled my face. I'm sure he will come out. But what should I say?

But I got my mind. I have to finish everything. Whatever I hear from Kevin...

The snow had almost stopped and was falling little by little. It was freezing cold. I could hear the sound of snow stamping from behind me. I could tell who it was, but I didn't want to look back. I wasn't confident.

"Red."

The voice almost similar to Craig stuck in my ear. the voice that speaks timidly without confidence. When his voice became confident, it was only when he talked about Star Wars, Star Trek, and science and math. If he act having a little confident, he wouldn't have been treated like a nerd. Kevin is stupid.

Whether he knew what I was thinking or not, Kevin approached me and began to speak softly.

"Now you want to talk to me? I've been waiting, Red."

Until you talk to me again, I don't know how long I've been waiting... Kevin blurted out the end of his words. I hated that. Why didn't he just talk to me first if he waited so long? I looked at him, who spoke so confidently. He was blushing. It must have been because it was cold, I wanted to think like that. When I saw his cute, red face, my face began to heat up. I felt like my heart pounding so hard. Where do I start with this? I sorted out all the complicated thoughts in my head step by step.

"I've wanted to talk to you, too."

I really wanted to talk with you, like in kindergarten, like in early elementary school, I wanted to see the stars again and watch a movie with you, I wanted to talk a lot about nerdy things. I wanted to stay with you all the time - my lips trembled every time I said. I couldn't stop crying. Hot tears trickled down the cheeks. The wind made my eyes freezing cold.

"I didn't want the others to think it was weird, so I ignored it even if you say hi to me. And it's not because I want to date Clyde before, he's giving hot shoes to me! That's why I dated with him. So... so..."

I'm sorry.

I felt relieved. It’s like feel when you put in a mint candy and take a picture of cool water. How will Kevin react? Maybe he will pissed off. Or he will leave here cursing at me saying two-face bitch.

But Kevin was too sweet to do that.

"I already knew."

Did he know that? So he was been patient and waiting until now. I feel so guilty.

"And I'm not mad at you, Red, no, Rebecca. I'm telling you, I was upset when you was dating Clyde, but I've never been angry with you, Rebecca Mcauther."

Kevin is a liar. It was a stupid sound. It was impossible that his favorite child acted like this and he wasn't angry. I grabbed him by the collar.

"Don't fuck with me! Tell me the truth! You're angry, aren't you? I've been avoiding you because my classmates treat you like a pussy! Why aren't you angry? Besides, I caused a scandal with Clyde Donovan! Are you a idiot? Get angry! Get mad! "

I looked at Kevin's face and let go of his collar again. I just made a sudden advance. Kevin carefully opened his mouth again.

"But I don't want to say bad things to you, Red."

I've liked Red since I first met you in South Park, and I thought I should put up with it if you could be happy. I want Red, Rebecca McArthur to be happy.

Every time he opened his mouth, my heart felt like it was melting. Kevin is sweet and kind as I expected.

"Would you like me, even I act being dick to you again?"

Kevin answered my question right away.

"Yes. Everyone makes mistakes. And I like Red whoever you is. Even you’re not hot.”

This is why I couldn't hate Kevin Stoley. Everybody like me because of my appearance and popularity, but Kevin was the only kid who covered my shortcomings. So that’s why I kept Kevin in my mind. When people left and came back from me, Kevin Stoley was always be my side ever since, who could always listen to me and share my favorite things without laughing at me.

Kevin held me in his arms around me without saying a word. His short height didn't cover me up, but I hugged him tightly. A moon and a few small stars were shining on us in the black South Park sky. If time had stopped like this. It's cheesy, typical, and like a third-rate drama, but I whispered quietly in his ear.

"I like you, Kevin Stoley. You are like that shiny, little star.”

Kevin said in a small, but soft, sweet voice that I had ever heard.

"...I love you too, Red Mcarthur."

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

okie it’s my first time writing this in Korean and I wanted to show my fics to you guys! I had translated this for 4 hours. Google translations are suck and I thought I had to do this.

#south park #Kevin Stoley #Red tucker #Red mcauther #sp Kevin #sp Red #Sp Revin #Sp kevin x red

36 notes · View notes

logical-little-lies · 4 years

Text

Block Towers and Desired Independence- Agere!AU (Part 38)

A/N: This is another simple side chapter that follows CG!Logan and Toddler!Patton through the day. I don't know if I've ever mentioned it, but I threw out a chapter-idea related to Patton being bratty for the first time a while ago, and now i'm bringing back to write something. Hope yall like it.

Also this includes Patton crying, and pulling himself out of little space for a bit to talk to Logan easier. but also fluff.

"Patton, baby. I wanna get upppp," Logan whined, half asleep with Patton still laying on him from the night prior. Patton had declared that he was spending the night with his boyfriend the night before because 'Logan worked too hard and they never did anything romantic'. Of course Logan didn't mind to cuddle him, or entertain the fact that Patton wanted a cutesy and overly-romantic relationship with him, but Logan still had a hard time waking Patton up in the morning most of the time.

"Noooo, wan sleep," there came his sleepy words of defiance as he snuggled his head into Logan's chest. Logan's eyes widened, and he softened his voice a bit.

"Am I talking to my boyfriend or my little?" he asked, waiting for an answer before continuing. Patton lifted his head, looking up at him.

"...little?" he was hesitant, hoping that Logan wouldn't mind that. "I-is that okay? I can stay big if you want me to-" Patton wasn't completely regressed yet, but he was close to it. Whether or not he'd let himself depended on if Logan was up to playing the caregiver role.

"Of course it's okay," Logan gave him a soft and reassuring smile before continuing. "I just wanted to know if you were little or not. How small are you feeling today, sweetheart?" Logan sat up, forcing Patton to do the same. Logan should've expected this, Patton regressed easily, and he went to bed happy and excited. Positive triggers like positive emotions can make Patton slip sometimes.

"I don't knowww," he whined, pouting.

"Am I gonna have to deal with a fussy little one today?" Logan teased, raising his eyebrow. Patton sat up completely, looking down and blushing a bit.

"Sorry," he apologized for whining. Depending on how little he was, he would whine and get upset over anything, though he was usually a fairly happy baby. Kinda similar to how Virgil got fussy sometimes.

"It's alright. How about we go to your room and get you ready for the day?" Logan offered, Patton nodding a bit. He was in pajamas, but he still would like a onesie. Logan was able to climb out of bed now that Patton had move off of him. He reach over to his bedside table, handing Patton his glasses and putting on his own.

"Come on, baby," Logan instructed, touching his feet to the ground and standing up completely. Patton came and sat on the edge of the bed, making grabby hands to be picked up. "Darling, I just woke up. Could you walk for now?" Patton pouted, "I'll hold your hand instead." Logan offered.

Patton settled, Logan helping him off the bed. Today was gonna be a fun day.

Patton sat on his light blue playmat, covered in a white star pattern. He wore a white onesie, his kitten pacifier sitting in his mouth. He wore a slightly visible white diaper under the clasps at the crotch of his onesie. As usual, he regressed younger once Logan started babying him and getting him into little clothes.

A stuffed bear sat on the mat near him, and he was currently playing with baby blocks. He stacked them up in little towers, until he hit something and it came crashing down. When that happened, he'd whine slightly and pout around the pacifier before starting over. Logan sat in front of where he was facing, helping him stack the blocks as high as he could.

He reminded him that it was okay every time the blocks fell, and would help him start over. "Papa, helppp!" Patton whined, harshly throwing the baby block in his hand down on mat in frustration. The other blocks came tumbling down onto his lap, and he retracted his legs so that they were pulled up to his chest.

"Baby, no throwing things, remember? It's on your rule list." Logan scolded a bit, gather the blocks from around the boys legs. Once he had collected them and moved them to the side, Patton returned to a criss-cross-applesauce position. Patton pouted a bit.

Patton huffed, ignoring his statement and starting again. He was so set on stacking every single lock he owned into a single tower. Now, Logan could admit that the boy was creative. He had started making pyramids, forming bases with some blocks before deciding that they didn't count as a 'tower' and that they weren't tall enough. But Logan didn't think it was good for him to be so focused on one thing, and get frustrated when it didn't work.

"No, no, no!" he shouted around the pacifier, it sounding more like an angry babble. Angry tears came to his eyes as he huffed and crossed his arms. He kicked his feet out, somehow hitting Logan's knee.

"No shouting or kicking, please take a breath." Logan commanded, taking his hands in his. He pulled them away and continued his frustrated tantrum. He was glad that everyone was gone currently. Roman had left earlier that morning to go hang out with Remus, and Virgil went to the dark side tower with Janus. So Patton wouldn't be as embarrassed later for his sudden outburst.

Logan internally panicked, not knowing what to do. He did the same thing whenever he had to look over Virgil or Roman, and they misbehaved. He was a good caregiver, for a perfectly well-behaved baby.

"Darling, calm down a bit. Take a deep breath-" Logan tried his best to speak in a soft, guiding voice that wouldn't upset him more. He was interrupted by a baby block hitting hit square in the forehead, his eyes coming to focus on a still-angry baby with crossed arms.

"Patton, I told you not to throw things already..." Logan hesitated, knowing the given punishment that the others would've given to their littles if they acted like this. He didn't know what was wrong, but he did know that he'd have a hard time doing this. "Go sit in the timeout chair, immediately." He spoke in a harsh voice that would've definitely make Patton cry usually, regretting it right after.

Logan was able to pinpoint when the realization that he was in trouble, that he did something wrong, that Papa was upset with him had hit him. Logan stood up, reaching down for his hand. Patton felt a sinking feeling in his stomach, and he wanted to burst into tears already. He took his hand, and allowed his caregiver to lead him over to the small white beanbag in the corner. It faced the wall, and it was placed there so that the littles didn't have to go to their rooms each time they got in trouble when they were in other parts of the house.

The only exception to this was Virgil. He was anxious, and he didn't get put in timeout anyways. But if it did get to that point, he'd hate to be punished in front of anyone else, so Roman would take him back to his room. Logan softly lifted him up, setting him down.

"Take deep, deep breaths until I tell you timeout is over, okay?" Logan spoke softly, leaning down next to the baby's ear. "It's gonna be okay," he promised, kissing the side of his face before backing away. Patton hadn't replied, and he focused his eyes on the wall around him. Logan knew those words of reassurance weren't gonna go far, considering that fact that he had still put him in timeout. In the mind of a little, that probably showed that he was still upset and such.

He sat on the couch, watch Patton's back intently. It was only a few minutes before Patton busted into tears once again, and Logan gave in instantly. "Shh, shh, shh. You're okay, Papa's here," he lifted him up from behind,turning him around so that he was properly holding him. He hugged him tightly, the boy's state of sobbing not changing in the slightest. Logan rushed over to the couch, sitting down so that Patton was sitting on his lap.

"I'm sorry that I put you in the corner so quickly, there must've been another way to deal with this. You're just a baby, of course you're gonna throw fits sometimes. I'm so,so, so sorry sweetheart," Logan was rambling on and on, apologizing and hugging the boy.

"Papa isn't mad?" Patton interrupted him eventually, speaking in a wobbly and shaky voice, still sniffling a bit. That broke Logan's heart. How could he be mad at his baby?

"No! I just didn't know how to deal with you not listening to me and I jumped to doing what the other sides would, but you're different and I'm different and I'm just-" Logan seemed to be panicking about his mistake, but he stopped himself from spiraling. He did something wrong, and now he'd deal with the situation if this ever were to happen again. He took a moment before speaking,focusing back in on the point.

"I'm not mad, baby. But can I know why you got so upset about the block tower?" he asked softly, brushing a bit of Patton's hair out of his face.

Patton whined,very small and not capable of forming full sentences. He had already been reaching out of his usual headspace just to speak any words at all. He tried his best, though,talking in a very babyish tone. "I wan do it right! Can't do things well when I'm like dis and I don't like it..." his voice seemed to get a bit bigger near the end of his statement. He spat his pacifier out and it hung from his paci clip.

He didn't move out of Logan's lap, but Logan could tell he had pulled himself out of headspace in favor of talking to him for a bit. "I um, was kinda set on doing something harder by myself. Because when I'm little I'm not good at doing things by myself most of the time and I depend on you a lot, when I'm supposed to be the 'dad' the helps everyone else." he explained in pure vulnerability. Logan still had no idea how Patton pulled himself out of his headspace, he was surely unhealthily repressing it, but he'd leave it for the time being.

"Patton, how long have you been stressing about this?"Logan questioned firmly, looking at him. Patton scrambled out of his lap, feeling uncomfortable and sitting next to him instead.

"Um, a while, I guess. That whole thing was my childish attempt at being independent, and it didn't work so I got frustrated with myself and threw a fit. I'm sorry..." Patton seemed embarrassed, and guilty. It felt weird seeing Patton expressing these traits, because it felt almost uncharacteristic for him. Logan knew that those traits didn't exclusively belong to Virgil and Roman, but it surely felt more usual coming from them.

"It's okay, you don't need to apologize. Or feel guilty because I punished you," Logan promised. Patton gave a little unsure nod, Logan continuing. "And the whole point of your regression is to let go of those responsibilities. You don't have to be independent, and you don't have to try and do things yourself. You're just a baby sometimes, and babies aren't expected to be able to do everything independently, right?" Logan raised his eyebrow,giving the boy a knowing look.

Patton sheepishly shook his head, uncomfortably shifting in his onesie and diaper. That either meant that he felt big and didn't like being dressed like a toddler, or the baby clothes were making him wanna be small again. From how he was acting, Logan figured it was the later.

"And neither are you. Stacking all those blocks that high seems like a simple, babyish task, but there is so many that the balance of the tower is knocked off my the time you get halfway done. Also, you can't stand well, so once the tower reached a certain height, it's pretty much impossible for you to add to it. You're also clumsy so you knocked it down multiple times as well," Logan explained a couple reasons why Patton was unsuccessful with his tower idea, causing the boy to pout a bit. "You were asking yourself to do something impossibly hard for someone who is mentally less than one year old. It's no shock that you weren't able to do it well, sweetheart."

"I guess I didn't think that through, huh?" Patton laugh at himself, looking kinda disappointed.

"Aw, baby. You're fine, I promise you." Logan spoke in a reassuring way before he kept speaking, "Now, next time you get frustrated like that, I want you to take deep breaths and then talk to me about what's wrong, alright? You're allowed to be upset, but throwing things and kicking people is not the correct response to that." Logan lightly scolded him, Patton obediently nodding.

"Okay, Papa! Gonna be better, promise!" he cuddled into his side, silently asking for comfort as he quickly regressed and fell into headspace. Logan softly kissed his forehead before replying,

"You're already perfect, sweetheart." Patton blushed at that, sliding his pacifier into his mouth. Logan used his power to turn on Mickey Mouse on the tv in front of them, summing Patton's stuffed bear and hand-held rattle from the play mat.

Patton spent the next hour or so babbling along to the Mickey Mouse characters, bouncing when he was excited, and shaking the blue rattle. His giggles always followed the rattle noises, and he seemed pretty content with the situation.

Of course, he eventually fell asleep cuddled up to his Papa. Some things never changed, like their dynamic. How much Logan cared for Patton, little or big. How grateful Patton was for everything his boyfriend did for him. How much the sides saw each other as family, as support.

But other things did.

And what they didn't know, is that a lot would change soon.

Very, very soon.

A/N: PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE: A) don’t hate me for not posting much, I’m having agere-specific writers block and I’m trying my best, and B) send your reactions to this in my inbox, I love seeing them! It can be the most random thing, a thought that popped in your head at a specific line, WHATEVER! Seeing positive reactions to my work encourages me to write, so please help a girl out. Okay, hope y’all enjoyed this!

#Agere!Sides AU #cg logan #cglogan #littlepatton #lilpatton #lil patton #patton agere #sanderssidesagere #sanderssides agere #ts agere

46 notes · View notes

starfaring-princelotor · 4 years

Note

Do you think the only reason why people aren’t critical of VLD Allura is because she doesn’t look like eighties Allura? Because if people are critical of PD from SU then they most certainly should be that way with VLD Allura

I do not know about other people’s reasoning when it comes to being critical of Allura vs 80′s Allura, but I would like to remind people that both PD and Allura are aliens. Anyways, I can tell you my guess about Allura vs PD in this essay. Given, I have not kept up with SU for a while, so most of my knowledge about PD’s actions are based off of the series. I did not see the movie nor anything after that. Consider this a full disclosure that, yes, I am making assumptions from posts I see here.

But here is one reason why I PD gets scrutinized while Allura does not: aftermath.

When SU started, the war was over, and everyone lives except the martyr. Everything seems fine and dandy, Earth is saved, people are saved, and there is a sort of...post-war catharsis feeling the viewers get when watching the first few episodes. Sure, the gang are doing their duties out of loyalty and honor, even after their leader has died, but it is not until the later episodes where you see the true aftermath of PD’s death rise to surface. And I definitely give props to all the writers and designers who included this tidbit that happily ever after still has its very unhappy moments.

Honestly? That is more realistic than Voltron’s ending, even though both series had a self-sacrificing martyr at the end.

It has been said many times before, and people even see it in shows like FMA, where being a hero does not always have heroic consequences for others. When people say, “One must fight so that all could be free” they mean ALL and not some. And yet, Voltron tends to push aside how catastrophically bad life would be for the “losing” side while fluffing up everyone else’s life in a utopia-esque “See? Things are better now! No more bad ever happened again. :)” haze.

But of course. Yes, you see blips of the good, but where is the real good? By this, I mean what about the “bad” guys’ ending?

The SU series showed the Diamonds that what they did was wrong and has heavily affected others. Not only that, but they are also brought to Earth to see for themselves how bad it was and how their willingness to change and understand and help is a progressive step to save people. If the Diamonds were killed at the end of the series, well, how can they help people they hurt? Simple: they can not.

Versus Allura, who dies at the very end with Honerva, they go to space heaven where everything is peachy for them and they no longer have to do anything about the mess they left behind because, guess what? They are dead. Their worries are over. Their last moments of life was a self-delusion that they did the right thing, especially Allura. She fought and sacrificed more than anyone else, so she knows deep in her heart that her last act of heroism is the key to peace in the universe and that anything afterwards, well, there will not be anymore problems.

In reality, that is not true, as you can see with PD’s death and how the CG are all very much flawed and suffering and lost on what to do next.

Again, just because Voltron’s ending had clips of a better life for a selective few (I still have big fat fucking issues with Keith doing Peace Corps with an Empire he has no understanding over) does not mean that is how it turned out for everyone.

And that is what SU did well where Voltron dropped the ball. SU started as

>post-war

> well, things are not actually as good as it should be

> fix those problems through personal struggles and coming to terms that martyrdom does not equate a perfect ending

> let us help those who suffered, are still suffering, and will most likely keep suffering because of war

> visually see the aftermath and never sugar-coat the solution as “See? All I needed to do was die!”

SU took the wheel and actually showed the reality of stress post-war, more real than Voltron could ever amount up to. Shiro got married, the Paladins are still friends, and a nearly extinct species came back flourishing. All great, but what about Those Evil Galran? Did they all get locked up or did they just instantly turn good? What about the quintessence issue? Did Allura’s death suddenly give everyone in the universe enough of it to live together happily? And what about the truth behind my execution over a silly little assumption? Was that justified or did I suffer from an incompetent leader’s ability to, well, lead.

I can spit out parallels where heroes follow orders blindly versus heroes who know between right and wrong all day between Voltron and SU. Lapis being stuck in the mirror and imprisoned when “You three knew I was in there!” is one instance I remember that really showed the heroes’ flaw. I believe when Lapis was revealed to be in the mirror, all three of them wanted to keep her locked away from Steven (”It shouldn’t be talking, it should only be taking orders”, “Yeah, let’s bubble it!”, “It’s just a tool! It can’t want anything!”)

Which, if I vaguely recall, Lapis was seen as the enemy way back then? So, the CG just assumed so and kept her out of sight until she could be useful again without properly doing their research AKA just talking to her.

Reminds me of when the Paladin’s imprisoned Sendak, used him for untested experimental memory-probing, then jettisoned him into space after he supposedly mind-fucked with them back. But, yes, he did bad things, he killed under Zarkon’s regime, and was actually one of the main villains at the beginning of the series. And because of this, it only makes sense that Allura and the Paladins get to choose what to do with him.

Wrong. That is very, very wrong.

Sure, Lapis was innocent whereas Sendak has committed crimes (though, based on what I have seen, I am more likely to think Sendak was groomed to be a dog of war, which does not excuse him from imprisonment, but it does excuse improper treatment during imprisonment), yet SU showed that the CG did Lapis wrong whereas Allura and the Paladins are praised for their actions against Sendak after he was pretty much forced into a coma.

SU judged Lapis, then learned that they were wrong in doing so when shown more information about the truth. Voltron judged Sendak wrong without any information other than one personal experience and a spiteful princess, then they give themselves a pat on the back for it while mistreating their captive. You can even compare Sendak to Jasper if you really want to go into it, but even Jasper was treated better by the CG than Sendak was by Allura and the Paladins.

And this is why I am critical of PD and Allura. Both of them died, both of them left unresolved problems and even bigger future issues on other people’s shoulders, and yet Allura is the only one who gets a pass for it? No. She fucked up just as bad, maybe even worse, than PD, but being critical of Allura is less common because viewers are shown a happy ending at the end of the war. SU does not and SU really had more balls than Voltron in that sense.

TLDR; SU series shows the heroes face the consequences of their actions and their deceased leader’s actions. Voltron series sweeps it all under the rug and glorifies the careless martyr in an unfulfilling 2 minute montage.

#asks #this is a series about war #so like #just the fighting or the aftermath too?#su is like the moroally grey #as for the entire space police series?#black and white #good vs evil #and if you dare step between the lines #dare critique the good people #oh boy #at least su said uhhh no fuq dat #there are consequecnes for ur actions buddy pal #and here are the consequences :)

23 notes · View notes

wheremytwinwatches · 4 years

Text

[Where My Twin Watches]: Puella Magi Madoka Magica Episode 11

We open in her magical apartment, shining white walls, CG gears floating like some sort of modern-art chandelier, and images of old scrolls hovering around, old manuscripts or what looks like a tapestry with the word ‘Walpurgis-’ on it. Seems Homura’s working on her (latest) plan to defeat the super-Witch and protect Madoka. One thing that struck me between these episodes is that the last time was probably the closest she’s ever gotten to saving Madoka from Contracting, until the Incubator made a last-minute offer while Homura was distracted fighting Walpurgisnacht. But maybe, just maybe, this time it could work? I mean, Madoka hasn’t Contracted, she knows how much of a dick the Incubator is, and has seen all her other friends die as Magical Girls. Maybe this will be enough to keep her away?

...oh who am I kidding. Madoka’s a Protagonist. She may be meek and scared, especially compared to Alpha Madoka, but when it comes down to it she overrules her fears and does what needs to be done, like when she threw away the chemicals in the warehouse. If she thinks that there’s something that she can do, she’s going to try her best to do it. Ugh. Admirable, but doomed to failure. “Time-traveler, Homura Akemi…” Well, look who it is, barging into Homura’s home at the eleventh-hour. What, are you going to brag about how your ‘perfect logic’ is going to prevail, that you still have claim to be the right side? Come on, Incubator, just try to convince me. “Your existence has answered at least one great mystery: Why is Madoka Kaname’s potential as a magical girl so abnormally vast?” ...wut? “You see, a magical girl’s potential is based on the weight of the karmic destiny she bears.” Oh. Oh, fuck. Homura was the cause. Alpha Madoka was a strong Magical Girl, but still lost to Walpurgisnacht. But each of the other timelines we saw, she survived up until she Witchified, didn’t she? I just put it down to Homura’s help, but if she was growing stronger and stronger… If each time Homura rewound time, all for the sake of one single person, reality after reality based around the lone girl Madoka Kaname… Multiple timelines, converging on one point, one person. All the ‘karmic destiny’ of the prior Madokas, concentrated into the next. In trying to save Madoka, Homura turned her into The One. “Excellent work, Homura. You’ve made Madoka into the most powerful witch we’ve ever seen.” Intro sequence. Well. That’s a thing. For what it’s worth, I paused to really read the lyrics of the intro song this time, and goddamn is it obvious now that it’s really Homura’s song. All the references to time, being stuck on a bad path? The songwriter must have been giggling like crazy when they played this in the early episodes. (Oh hey, it ended with the updated RADIO TOWER OF LIES with all five of the girls hanging out on top.) Ep 11: The Only Thing I Have Left to Guide Me A rainy day in Mitakihara City. Oh. “Sayaka Miki Funeral Service.” I guess the cops finally found her body. The school’s turned out for the service, and Madoka’s there with shaded eyes. She knows the truth, but can’t tell anyone. “Up next, the weather forecast.” Geez, show a little tact radioman! Sayaka makes it home, puts away her umbrella as her mother… uh oh. “About Sayaka’s case… Are you sure you don’t know anything about it?” Madoka claims ignorance and walks away. And the camera makes damn sure that we know Mother ain't buying any of it. Gulp. And now Madoka’s just sprawled on her bed, a blank look on her face. Her best friend and Kyoko are dead (what, no mention of Mami?). All because of- YOU. “It wasn’t exactly an unexpected outcome.” For crying out loud Incubator, give her some space, she just came back from the funeral of her best friend! Although knowing the Incubator, it’s taking this opportunity of a damaged emotional state to try and fill its quota sooner rather than later. Wait. Wait wait wait. What did you just say, Incubator? What the FUCK did you just say? “Then, for example, do you feel responsible for the deaths of livestock? Do you ever think about the process by which they become foodstuffs for you?” … “Because they are slated to become food for humans, livestock are fed and provided for all their lives, and given equal chance to reproduce free from natural selection. Cows, pigs, and even chickens have an overwhelmingly higher rate of survival in captivity than in the wild. So isn’t it actually a rather ideal, mutually beneficial relationship for you both?” Alright. Ok. *deep breath* First I’ll try to address the “eating other lifeforms” thing, then I’ll address why this analogy does not even come close to this situation. I’m an omnivore. I eat both meat and plant matter. I eat meat for several reasons, nutritional and ethical. It's not a perfect system, but it works and I consider it good. If it wasn't for the core flaw, I might even admit that the Incubator has a point in them being similar. But all of that is based on one single, fundamental fact: these creatures are not sapient. You can’t talk to them. Incubator, I’m going to bring something up called the Hierarchy of Foreignness (a system created in the Orson Scott Card “Ender’s Game” series). A general description is that it classifies groups or species based on both their species and ability to communicate, ranging from Utlanning (same species, easy communication) to Djur (different species, non-sapient). Note the communication aspect, that’s crucial. Sapience is a divisive subject, but I think we can all agree that if communication was possible between us and another species, if we could talk to them and they could rationally answer in kind then there’s no way in hell they would be on the menu. And yet, even though the Incubators can clearly communicate with us, even though they know that we are capable of reasoning, of storing and transmitting ideas, of generalization and abstract ideas… they still treat us as a resource. “Are you saying it’s the same between you and us?” “On the contrary, our treatment of humankind is much more respectful than your treatment of livestock. Perhaps it isn’t perfect, but we do acknowledge your species as sentient and try to deal fairly with you.” And there we go! Sentient, not sapient. Awareness, not reasoning. We raise cattle as livestock because it is the best solution and they are not sapient beings. You assholes stumbled across a rock full of sapient, rationalizing beings that you could communicate with and turned them into batteries. But wait, there’s more! The Incubator proceeds to show a horrified Madoka images of humanity’s history, from caves to castles. “We have intervened in your civilization’s development since prehistoric times. Countless girls throughout time have made Contracts with Incubators, had their wishes granted, and then ultimately succumbed to despair (images of woman I assume to be Cleopatra, based on pyramids and snakebite). Beginning in hope and then ending in a curse; that is the cycle that countless magical girls have repeated to this day. There are some who have wrought revolutions that changed history (Joan of Arc?), or elevated human society to new stages of development.” And so that gives you the right to harvest a thinking species, then? You set these girls on the path to destruction, get your precious emergy, and think we should be grateful for the privilege? Madoka breaks down into tears, cries about how they all trusted the Incubators. Who just claims that it wasn’t the Incubators who betrayed them, but their own prayers. That is the equivalent of saying “I gave them a box of matches, it’s not my fault they ended up burning down the house.” It goes on to argue that all hopes are Wishes for something other than the current reality, and anything that doesn’t match reality is bound to cause change. And of course, Change is Bad, so… “If they considered such a natural outcome to be a ‘betrayal’, they were wrong to have made wishes at all.” Really? Really, Incubator? So you’re saying that since change inevitably results in at least some negative outcomes, it’s wrong to try and enact change? Say, trying to prevent the natural heat-death of the universe? “Not that I’m calling them foolish.” Oh no, you’re just calling them acceptable, unintentional sacrifices. “If you understand now, why are you still holding the fates of a few individuals to be so precious?” Because they are individuals. Because the ending of a rational life, one that is denied a future of experiences and progress and chances to help other lives… Civilizations that exist based on the suffering of others are not worthy of the term. And the Incubators passed that line long ago. Madoka numbly looks up to the Incubator and asks if after all the time they spent watching over those girls they really feel nothing for them at all. The Incubator blithely retorts that if they could “understand suffering”, they wouldn’t need humanity in the first place. A society that treats emotion as a mental disease, to whom the concept of empathy for one another is foreign. Incubator, as surprised as you are that a world of individuals could move beyond the basest of conflicts, I am just as surprised that a species of a single mind could… no, I can’t say that I am surprised that a single focused mind could progress so far. But it is not a society that I would want to be a part of. The Incubator claims that if they had never come to Earth, then humanity would still be living naked in caves. I think you underestimate us. But even if that were true, it would be preferable to your schemes. ...I’m sorry, I can’t take anymore tonight.

*once again, needed an angry sleep to calm down* *calls for one final show prediction*

Well, my guessing has been so spot on so far, why stop now? This is the scenario we have, the elements leading into this finale: -Madoka has not Contracted -Homura knows her time travel has resulted in Madoka’s Protagonist Potential -Walpurgisnacht is inbound, which means bad times for Muggles -All the other MGs besides Homura are dead -Madoka’s Mom suspects that she’s hiding something about Sayaka -Homura is going to try and fight Wally on her own like last timeline, hoping that Madoka won’t Contract From this, I can see three possibilities: (Good Ending) Homura attempts to fight Walpurgisnacht on her own (because that worked so well last time). Brave, heroic, foolish Madoka intervenes, Wishes Mami (or best-case scenario Sayaka and Kyoko as well) back to life, and all the girls work together to destroy Wally. Homura is upset that Madoka still became a MG, but Madoka says that it’s her choice. All the girls will have to be careful, but knowing the risks of despair on their Soul Gems (and the other two/four keeping an eye on Mami so she doesn’t go all Spark-Hunter on them) they work to protect their city and prevent other girls from Contracting. Eventually all the Witches are exterminated, so no need to use up their Soul Gems anymore, they are locked away. Show ends with all three/five girls walking to class, another chance at normal lives. (Was just about to post this when I got the unpleasant realization that this is impossible. "Lock away the Soul Gems"? Wouldn't work. Damn. Ok, so best-case scenario the girls actively avoid using magic, but they still have to carry around this reminder. Still leagues better than where they are now, but... damn, even when I try to come up with a Good ending Urobuchi blocks me. ) (Feels Ending) Homura attempts to fight Walpurgisnacht on her own. Madoka intervenes, makes a Wish that Homura doesn’t hear, and destroys Walpurgisnacht. With her last words before she turns into a Witch, she asks Homura to not give into despair, and keep trying. Homura travels to another timeline, but when she gets there her shield shatters and her Soul Gem disappears. And when she gets to school, Madoka is nowhere to be found. (Urobutcher Ending) Madoka is about to go and try to help Homura, when her mother stops her with several men in uniform. Madoka is taken away for questioning about Sayaka, while the police car is stuck in traffic Walpurgisnacht attacks and destroys the car in passing. Homura tries to fight Walpurgisnacht, but loses like last time. Knowing that if she goes back again Madoka will be further tied up with Protagonist Potential, Homura gives up and her Soul Gem turns black. ...yep. So, so much fun coming up with these predictions. And even though for the last one I tried thinking of what could make me punch my screen, I wouldn’t bet that Urobuchi will find some way to top it. Ugh.

Still raining, scene change to a bar?

“It really does hurt, losing one of my own students this way…”

Oh. Ouch. Looks like the girl’s teacher is trying to cope. And she still doesn’t know what really happened to Sayaka, and we know that she never will. Add in a missing third-year student…

All they’ve got to go on is the fact that Sayaka was ‘quarreling’ with a friend over a boy. Aw jeez, Hitomi’s got to be in a bad spot right now, huh? Probably thinks that she drove Sayaka off? Kinda true, but not the whole story. Ten-to-one that the Incubator plans on paying a brown-haired girl a visit later.

So the cops are calling it “an accidental death, exacerbated by mental stress after running away from home.” So in other words, they’ve got no clue how she actually died. I suppose one’s soul turning into a Witch wouldn’t leave any real signs.

Oh, so Teach is talking with Mrs. Kaname! Should have realized when this convo took place in a bar. Heh, remember back when it was just jokes about Madoka’s Mom having to drink with her brotastic colleagues, and planning a coup of her department? Those were good times.

Uh oh. Mrs. Kaname’s admitting that she thinks Madoka knows something. But she also doesn’t seem like she’s lying… I think Mrs. Kaname’s thinking over that late-night advice on making a mistake for a friend. Madoka did say that a friend was getting into trouble. So much guilt being felt by all these secondary characters: Hitomi thinks she drove Sayaka away over Kamijo, Teach is worried about students going missing from school, Mrs. Kaname knew ‘a friend’ of Madoka’s was in a bad spot. Can’t say the blame falls fully on any of them, but I bet they feel like it does.

Mrs. Kaname bemoaning that for the first time, she can’t tell what Madoka is thinking. With things seeming off lately, she can tell something’s weighing on her but Madoka hasn’t talked about it. Understandable given the subject matter, but from Mother’s perspective Madoka doesn’t trust her anymore. And all she can do is trust Madoka.

Back at Homura’s place, doorbell? Oh, Madoka’s going to talk to Homura! She asks if all the floating diagrams are about Wally, says that Kyoko told her about the super-witch. Been a while since we last saw Kyoko, I can’t remember if that was onscreen on this is just establishing how Madoka could know about it.

Ah, seems Madoka’s here because she was told Wally is such a strong witch one person can’t beat it on their own. Homura was planning to team up with Kyoko… but then stuff happened. Madoka asks if Homura’s been planning on fighting it all this time, which gets an odd look from the time-traveler. Madoka rallies and asks if the city will be in danger.

Homura’s explaining that Walpurgisnacht is so powerful it doesn’t need to hide in a Labyrinth. If it manifests, thousands die. Muggles can’t see it, so they just think it’s caused by some natural disaster.

Madoka asks, or rather says that it absolutely has to be defeated… yup, Protagonist. Sorry, Homura, but I look at Madoka now and see someone who knows that there is a problem, and a way that she can help against it. With all the other girls gone, Homura will need help, so Madoka suggests that-

Homura cuts her off, insisting that she can do it on her own, claims that she never even needed Kyoko’s help. Yyyyeah, even Madoka knows that you’re bluffing. Then… oh! “I don’t know why, but I really want to believe in you, Homura. I don’t want to think that you’d lie to me.” Aw now you’ve done it Homura, you made Madoka cry. Feel the guilt. Feeeel it!

Urg, so many feels right now. Madoka’s crying because Homura is lying to her, and Homura’s clenching her fists and teeth because-

“I’m not even living in the same time that you are, Madoka!”

OUCH. Homura has broken down, rushed over and grabbed Madoka in a hug, our Protagonist is standing there very much off-guard. Cold, distant Homura is finally telling Madoka her story, that she’s from the future. That she’s met Madoka over and over, and each time had to watch her die.

“What do I have to do to save you? What do I have to do to change your fate?” She’s been redoing this month trying to find an answer. Yeah, not blaming you for your confusion Madoka, this is a big change from the Homura that you knew.

“I’m sorry… I’m not making any sense, right? I must seem horribly creepy, right?” Madoka’s known this Mysterious Transfer Student for barely a month, while Homura’s known Madoka for who knows how long. And for all Madoka is a kind and compassionate Protagonist, she really doesn’t know what do with this weepy girl.

“But to me… To me, you are…”

...well.

“The more times I redo all this, the further in time we drift from one another. Our feelings drift further apart, and my words don’t even reach you anymore. The truth is, I think I’ve been lost for a very long time now.”

“I will save you. That was the feeling that I started all of this with. And now, it is the only thing I have left to guide me.” Title drop! “It’s ok if you don’t understand. It’s ok if my words don’t reach you. But, please… Please… just let me protect you.”

...yup. That was one heck of a gut punch. I can say I understand the MadoHomu shippers now, that “To me, you are…” is all but a confession to me. However, I will still stand by my friendship interpretation because damnit my Ship of Death has killed off half the cast already, and I wanna see this girls live.

Cut to a dark and stormy sky, thunder and lightning. Some dudes are remarking that the thunderclouds are spreading at unbelievable speeds, call for an evacuation of the city. All the residents are getting ordered to their nearest shelters, and now the streets are empty.

Except for one person. A dark-haired girl in a school uniform, overlooking the water.

“It’s here.”

(For the record, as soon as I typed that the internet decided that “Eh, that’s a good place to crash”. Thankfully fixed it, but for a while there I was yelling at Wally for breaking my computer.)

Now we’re at a fancy building with lots of glass (as per the norm in this city), apparently it’s a gym of sorts that’s serving as a shelter, lots of families on green mats around the court. Not sure how much of a ‘shelter’ the building is with all the giant windows, let alone how it’s probably not Witch-proof, but better than everyone being at home I guess. Madoka’s family are at their own mat. Daw, been ages since I last saw the little brother and the Dad, Brother’s cute asking if they’re camping tonight and Dad saying it’s a great big group campout. But Madoka’s turned away from the rest of the family, clutching her knees. Taking bets on how long she lasts until she runs off to try and help, I’m giving it five minutes.

Back at Homura, colors are going monochrome, and a fog is spreading across the river. Once it reaches Homura she gives one last MST hair-flip, and starts walking. Wait, hold up, wasn’t she just behind a railing, facing the river? Is the fog a sign of warped reality so that the railing isn’t there anymore, or what?

Ah. Some sort of crayon rabbit-thing (not an Incubator, just has ears like a rabbit) just ran by Homura. Reality warping it is. And it just got stomped on by an elephant? Ok, looks like while Wally doesn’t have/need a labyrinth it does project a cirusy-vibe.

A lace curtain rises, and the music kicks in. A countdown begins. 5. 4. Buildings rise behind Homura. 2. The pastel circus passes by her. 1. Shattered buildings rise up and Walpurgisnacht looms from the clouds, an upside-down mannequin in a flowy dress with giant gears above.

The Future has arrived. Walpurgisnacht is here.

Homura launches into a quick transformation sequence (is this the first time we’ve seen her transform?), clicks her shield… and whoa that’s a lot of rocket launchers. No seriously, I am seeing dozens of RPGs and bazookas set up around her, how long did it take her to gather all of these?

So yeah, Homura’s starting off by freezing time and blasting dozens of explosives at Wally. Who just laughs a creepy echoey laugh and floats off breathing technicolor flames as Homura now runs about triggering mortars. That likewise seem to do no damage. Dang, even Homura’s early pipe bombs could destroy a Witch quickly, what’s Walpurgisnacht made of? Alright, will collapsing some metal towers on the Witch work? Nope. Now… do I hear a truck?

Abridged!Dio: “Look what I’ve got!”

Ok, the explosions keep coming as Homura drives a freaking tanker up the bridge into Wally’s face. And then ok what the hell, is that a sub? Did Homura just launch a freaking missile into this Witch? Half a dozen missiles? And then two that ram Wally into the industrial area? Sorry Mami, but as impressive as it was to see you summon a company-worth of muskets, I think Homura has you beat in firepower here.

Argh, but even after getting hit by friggin missiles Walpurgisnacht is still inta- oh, that’s a bomb. Oh, that’s a lot of bombs. OH, that’s a shitton of bombs!

But the music’s not stopping. It sounds like it’s building up, even. Aw crap, are you telling me that THAT wasn’t enough? Homura just blasted this thing into a building practically made of bombs, what more do you want?!

Crap, yeah. Homura just got struck by some sort of starry-whip, and Walpurgisnacht appears no worse for wear. Homura, I really hope you’ve got some more firepower stashed away.

All these explosions are shaking the shelter, Madoka’s parents are looking up at the ceiling worriedly and not saying anything. Madoka’s still off to the side, clutching her- wait, she just stood up. And said that she’s going to the bathroom. *Checks time, just under 3 minutes* Damn, even faster than I guessed.

Madoka’s looking out the (probably not storm-proof) giant glass windows at the pouring rain, and for crying out loud the Incubator is perched on the railing. She asks it if Homura was telling the truth about being able to face Wally on her own, the Incubator asks if she’d believe it anyways if it told her no. “At this point, explanations are pointless. You should go and see for yourself. See how well Homura Akemi is faring against Walpurgisnacht.” Manipulative to the end, aren’t you you little jerk.

It then proceeds to frankly say that Homura hasn’t given up hope yet. If she loses, then she can still turn back time, restart this ‘meaningless’ chain of events over and over. Because it’s no longer possible for her to stop or give up.

“The moment she acknowledges that everything she has done is pointless, and your fate is impossible to change, Homura Akemi will fall into despair and turn into a Grief Seed.”

Aw hell. The Urobuchi’s setting up Ending #3, isn’t he? Come on Homura, don’t fall to despair! You can’t give up on Madoka, even if you fail again this time you could still save the Madoka in the next timeline!

“So you’re saying that as long as she continues to hope, she can’t be saved?”

...no. No no NO. Do NOT do this to me, Urobuchi! I am begging you, do NOT make Ending #2 happen either! It doesn’t matter if Madoka Wishing for Homura to not be trapped in her quest to save Madoka would end the problem, if we end with either both girls dying or Madoka Wishing Homura free from the time loops, I am going to scream. Damn it, cut these girls a break!

Damn it. Madoka has dried her tears and is walking away. Either to lichdom to save another or to her death, I do not know. But away she goes.

Holy crap, Mom out of nowhere! She just grabbed Madoka’s hand.

“Where do you think you’re going?”

Aw shoot, she’s confronting Madoka. If I see people in uniform show up I am going to break something.

Madoka says that she has to go save a friend, but Mother cuts her off and says to leave it to the firefighters. You know, the guys with rescue training that a middle-school girl doesn’t have.

Our Protagonist insists that it has to be her- oh! Mother just slapped her. “You don’t live your life just for yourself, understand?!”

But Madoka understands. She knows how much her mother and father care, because she loves her family too. And in order to protect them and her friend, she has to go somewhere else now.

Damn, props to Mother. Even not knowing everything that’s going on, even with such a terrible ‘storm’ outside, she says that she’s going with Madoka if she’s leaving. But Madoka says no, that she needs to stay and makes sure Father and Tatsuya stay safe.

“Mom, you told me you had raised me well. I don’t tell lies (*beyond not explaining Magical Girls*). I don’t do bad things. Will you believe in me now? Will you trust that I’ll do what’s right?”

Mother raises a hand. And then lowers it. And then launches Madoka forward with a pat on the back. Got to admit, for a second I thought that Madoka was going to fall down the stairs. What a way to end the show, right? But no, it’s a heartwarming moment between mother and daughter.

Back to Terrible Things! Walpurgisnacht is heading deeper into the city, Homura chasing while being surrounded by laughing starry MG-silhouettes. And of course Wally is heading for the shelter, as if this wasn’t bad enough already. If you’ve got anything left Homura, now’s the time to use it!

Um. Ouch. A building to the face has got to smart.

Aw crud, Homura’s foot is trapped. Is she…? Yup, she’s grabbing her shield, preparing to reset again. But if she goes back again, Madoka will get more tied up in MG potential.

No. No no no nope uh-uh NO. You do not get to give up now, Homura. You are not going to go Ending #3 and make Madoka have to fight two friggin Witches. Do NOT give up! No no NO

Madoka’s here.

“That’s enough. You’ve done enough, Homura.”

The music from the Future Dream/secondary credits has just started. The Incubator walks up beside Madoka.

“Madoka… you didn’t…!”

“Homura… I’m sorry.”

And credits.

After-credits picture of all five magical girls.

“If someone says it’s wrong to have hope, then I’ll tell them they’re wrong, every single time. And I know I’ll always tell them so.”

Final Episode: My Very Best Friend

*phew* Ok, we got way too close to Ending #3 there for me. And it’s clear that Madoka is going to make a Contract and become a MG to fight Walpurgisnacht. The only question now is what she’s going to Wish for.

I have to re-evaluate #2 now, given the after-credits line about Madoka always saying it’s wrong to give up hope. I can’t see someone who says that ending Homura’s quest, even with good intentions. So it’s more likely that Madoka will make the Wish about this timeline and just give Homura the inspiring speech, that just because this timeline didn’t work out that doesn’t mean she should give up on the future. So maybe a Wish like “I Wish I had the power to save this city from Walpurgisnacht”, or best-case “I Wish for my friends back to help me fight Walpurgisnacht”, and when Madoka runs out Homura leaves for the next timeline. And so we end with another failure, but hope that someday Homura will succeed.

*Sigh* Well, whatever happens next, bittersweet or just bitter, it’s been a trip. Thank you all for joining me in this WMTW, I will hope beyond hope that Homura will find peace someday.

#wmtw #where my twin watches #ranubis #pmmm #puella magi madoka magica #pmmm 11

1 note · View note

guacameowle · 7 years

Text

Jihyun Route: Another Story - Notes

Below the cut are the notes of opinions & thoughts I wrote down as I was playing Another Story. It’s below a cut because it’s very lengthy; I think it came out to over 8400 words. I certainly don’t expect anyone to read all of it, but I had a few people ask for me to do this, so here it is. Some of it is more in-depth analysis, most of it is probably nonsense, a lot of it is me thirsting.

Everything written is what I was thinking at the time something happened in the moment of playing the game so you can see how my theories/emotions of the game progress day by day. I did not go back & change anything I wrote after finishing the route. I haven’t even gone back to proofread it yet, so my apologies for ridiculous errors or confusion.

The notes are broken up by days & then by endings (I’ve only completed good & normal endings so far). Obviously, this text will be loaded with spoilers. I apologize if you’re on mobile & the cut doesn’t work & you have to scroll past this horrendously long post.

I’m sure some of what I’ve said here will be controversial, but I’m not here to argue with anyone or create discourse; this is just a means to express my opinions & lingering curiosities about some aspects of the route.

I by no means disliked this route. I very much enjoyed it for all it’s drama, twists, emotional upheaval, discoveries, & Jihyun’s sexy sexy voice.

Prologue

Like hell am I answering any of these calls.

Whyyy are you so obsessed with me?!

Omg they give you a 'call the police option'?! Iconic. I’m doing it.

I AM CRYING LAUGHING. I BAD ENDED & MC GAVE NO FUCKS. Just went home to order some chicken wings. A legend. SHE COULD NOT BE BOTHERED TO GIVE A FUCK. Honestly, that is my true ending. Ultimate true end. This is how my story would have ended if this happened to me in real life. Except I would have gone home to a tub of ice cream. 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻 Excellent start to this update. She honestly just disbanded a cult & got dinner afterwards like it was no big thing. Boss MC.

Ok I'll do the prologue & play naive now.

Oh. A blindfold. KINKY~.

MC better be prepared to die because she just willingly let herself be kidnapped. 🙄

DAY ONE

The new music is so so nice. That violin concerto - so beautiful. I need sheet music.

That bedroom at Mint Eye is essentially my DREAM room. Wowza. So much pink! Yeah yeah, Ray, I’ll play your game as long as I don’t have to leave that bed. Ever.

Fuck. Ray is wearing gloves. FUUUUUCK me right up. GLOVES!!!

CATCH MY ASS FLIRTING WITH JUMIN ALL DAY ER’DAY. I told Juju I wanted to hear his voice. I’m so thirsty.

Jumin released a quote book. It probably has great lines like, “Yaaaaaa” or “What is fried chicken?” … I’d buy it. Will probably turn out to be the best trilogy I ever spent money on.

“Mankind is born lonely.” (Call Ray after 00:00 chat). This game just got deep as fuck. I’m not ready for that kind of existential commentary at midnight on day one, ok? Let’s chill. I came here to talk to cute boys/girl, not mull over how mankind was doomed from the start.

Zen is already basically horny & ready to rumble if you tell him you called him in the middle of the night because you were thinking about him & honestly that already makes this a fantastic update.

I’m glad we got a little more context on how Yoosung had a random friend who joined a cult & tried to recruit him. Solid tie-in, Chertiz. Bravo.

JUMIN PREFERS FULL-BODIED WINE. FUCK ME RIGHT UP. THIS MADE ME SO HAPPY.

Yoosung, you’re breaking my heart. I want to comfort him so bad. Everything is still so fresh & he’s so frustrated. He’s going to be an emotional rollercoaster this entire route. I can feel it. Deep in my bones.

“You should be asleep." BINCH. Then why did you call me?!

Ok, day one is almost fucking over, where in the mint wig hell is V?! This is supposed to be his route, right? I’m fixing to start answering for Ray in a hot minute if Pastel Princey doesn’t show up pronto.

ZEN IS SUCH A NARCISSIST & I LOVE HIM FOR IT. “I wonder what I’d look like wet.” Me too, send a selfie quick. Please. I’ll beg.

I can’t stop flirting with everyone holy crap I’m probably going to bad end. I don’t even know who I have the most hearts for currently…

DAY TWO

Why are the longest chats in this game at 2 in the damn morning?! Cheritz, please…

Have I mentioned I really like V’s new sprite outfit? CAUSE I DO. It’s an excellent style. That coat with the pin on the lapel is perfect! Mmmhmm.

Also, V’s sprite’s body language seems pretty important to me. That arm wrapped over himself & holding his other arm feels very closed off. He’s the leader but he’s curling in on himself. Yes, by now we know he has secrets, but this almost feels like he’s unsure of himself for other reasons. Maybe I’m reading too much into it.

In a call V says the dark sky was taking over the moon but then in the next chat he says he couldn’t sleep because the moon was too bright. WELL, WHICH IS IT? I am betting that "bright moon" was probably just a lamp. Flip the switch, V. Turn it off & go to bed.

Aye, Jumin went to a foreign university. I want to know where. Have it ever been said how many other languages Jumin knows? I know he goes to New York & China for business a lot, so do we assume he takes translators with him or that he knows enough of the languages to get by? I’m so curious.

HOW V & JUMIN MET IS THE CUTEST SHIT I HAVE EVER READ IN MY LIFE OMGGGG. Jumin calling the insurance company about a toy car. Stop I can’t. I love him so much.

LITTLE JUMIN IN SUSPENDERS OMG I AM SCREAMING. That mini suit is probably bespoke Armani. Damnit.

V & Drunk!Jumin talking about their friendship is going to make me cry.

Jumin talks about almost being kidnapped on multiple occasions as if it were just a minor inconvenience of his day. “Ran out of pancakes, almost got kidnapped, crashed my toy car…”

Yeah yeah Ray. They're AIs. Sure. Uh huh. Totally believe you.

HOLY SHIT. Seven got a major equipment & set up upgrade. Someone tell me he posted to r/battlestations ?!?!?

Ray said he's going to try to tame me with food & honestly I am not opposed to this. He found my weakness so quickly. BRING ME ICE CREAM! STRAWBERRIES! CHAMPAGNE! Ask Jumin to make me some pancakes, I liked those.

Whoa dang. Zen's "sleepy but maybe gonna lose my voice" voice is 💦💦💦💦

V in that robe. 👀👀👀 ((Lynn, why are you like this?))

The first recommended party guest is a vampire (who could pass for Eros Katsuki Yuuri in a cape). I love this silly game. You think if I told Jumin that the 'Twilight' series was really a documentary he would believe me?

So Jumin confirmed he doesn't have siblings. That's actually one of the lingering questions I had about him. I’m glad he & V found one another at such young ages then. One could argue that they’re like brothers.

I am going to say it - I think Yoosung needs to meet with a licensed professional on a set schedule. He has no outlet for these emotions he's feeling & fears being badgered by RFA members when he does express himself. I feel so bad for him, especially knowing, as the player, that he was right all along to question V & the lack of evidence on Rika's supposed suicide. The RFA chatroom is not a safe space for him. Yet on the other hand, he’s being very selfish in wanting the others to grieve the same way he is. This is a very complex character bit about him.

Jaehee continues to be wary of me nonstop… but is 100% convinced that Seven is inviting the actual planet of Pluto to this party. ::looks directly into the camera::

Now Jumin wants to invite an actual bowl of udon. ::looks harder into the camera:: (If these were the guest recommendations Rika got, no wonder she left.)

JAEHEE CG. CRITICAL HIT. WOMAN DOWN. “You look tired.” JuMIN! No! “You look tired…” LyNN! NO!

I think I’m going to bad end if I don’t stop getting Jumin’s hearts… but I can’t help myself. I am a weak weak woman.

Why in the hell is this chat called “Party at Saturn” but then in the chat we talk about Jupiter instead. False advertising!

I could listen to V’s voice all day. That is S I L K Y ~

Ray is reaching obsessive level status. This boy just attaches to anyone that’s remotely nice to him, doesn’t he? I’ll admit, I went into this route but really liking Unknown. He irritated me. I knew he was tormented & abused, but he was not a good man. Ray though, seems really sweet. So are we to believe sometime between now & the two years into the future something happens to him that just causes him to snap & no longer want to be nice?

DAY THREE

Zen is saying “lmao” a lot.

“There’s a perfect medication for that. It’s called… BEER. LMAOOOO.” Zen is just me in college. Confirmed.

Ok so this route has some of the prettiest CGs I have seen in this game. I am loving them.

IT IS 4AM CHERITZ. I DON’T NEED THESE EMOTIONS FROM SAERAN TALKING ABOUT A POTTED PLANT WITH TWO STALKS & ONE OF THEM GROWING WEAKER. GODDAMNIT. I’M GOING TO CRY. OH SHIT HE BUSTED OUT THE CRYING EMOJI. BE STRONG, LYNN.

If this boy doesn’t get some sort of emotional help & redemption in this story I am going to be so so upset.

(Call 707 after “Paradox of the Survival of the ____ Chat) Did Seven just pull a “BITCH WHERE?” joke on me when I called him sexy?!

V's dad is a vampire. Look at that guy. Jumin, don’t look him in the eyes.

TEENAGE ANDROID ZEN!

Jaehee’s "jet pilot" convo had me dying. What kinda Space balls + Monty Python convo was that?!?!

This slow mellow piano melody (I guess V's theme) is very lovely. It makes me sleepy in a good way. That gentle crescendo in the middle with the chimes gives me chills.

CHOIR BOYS JUMIN & V!!!! HOW PRECIOUS!!!

I actually like that we get to see more of V's hesitation & examples of him still struggling with the grieving process.

Yoosung is really lashing out here. I understand his frustrations but he is very blind to his own selfishness.

OMG THE START OF YOOSUNG'S LOLOL ADDICTION! 😨

New order of favorite voices: V, Jumin, Yoosung, Ray, Zen, Jaehee, Luciel. ((This is shocking to me because I tend to prefer high-pitched male voices. Why? I don’t even know. The first time I heard Yoosung’s voice I was like “THIS IS THE ONE. THIS IS IT! QUALITY! GOOD SHIT!” Then I heard Jumin talk & my panties were WRECKED. I couldn’t fight it. I didn’t want to fight it.))

Aye, not to RUSH anything but uhh… when do I get to start giving answers like “V come save me” cause homeboy is at Mint Eye. I’m at Mint Eye. We can fucking leave Mint Eye together. Just saying.

Me In-Game: “Yoosung, I think you need to seek professional help.” Yoosung: “I don’t think I need counseling. I’ll just vent my feelings into my new game!” Me Out-Of-Game: “BOY I HAVE SEEN YOUR FUTURE & WE NEED TO HAVE A TALK!”

DAY FOUR

“Say Yoosung for example … [he’s] set to mourn the death of his precious but is he really sad because of somebody’s death or is he sad because death still remains a mystery to him?” I swear I just looked off into the distance & said, “Holy fuck…” Ray is getting DEEP. He just made a damn good point honestly. My mind is blown. I need a minute. This explains so much about Yoosung, honestly.

Ray just broke all the characters down in like 5 words or less. I am seriously impressed. Chertiz. CHERTIZ, MY DUDES. Your game is fantastic. Your characters are so in depth. None of them are perfect & I love it.

“… plant a seed of happiness inside you.” You’re not planting any seeds inside of me. Nope. Thanks for playing. I don’t want your seed. I can buy seeds at Home Depot if I need them. Thanks.

I’m guessing day 4 bad ending is you basically just joining Mint Eye with Ray at this point… & getting all of his seed.

JUMIN CALLED ME WHILE HE’S LYING IN BED. I AM BLESSED & I AM ALSO LYING IN MY BED.

Ok… I was hoping this call would get sexy but now he’s just talking about mattresses. Look Juju, you’re welcome to come & help me test the firmness of my mattress & I’ll test the firmness of your-

Real talk, Jumin’s exaggerated sigh directly into my ear via headphones gave me chills. Bye. I’m ascending to another plane of existence.

…. I’m waiting for that moment V changes his profile picture. WHEN. WILL. IT. HAPPEN?

The Game of Kings CG. I’m fucking crying.

VANDERWOOOOD.

Zen looking like he did an autumn “back to school” photoshoot for Sears & I am LOVING IT. He’s so cute. Looks like a Sketchers advert.

Yoosung is too innocent for his own good. Just met someone one day prior & already accepting packages from them. STRANGER DANGER, MY DUDE.

WET ZEN SELFIE! MY PRAYERS WERE ANSWERED! BLESSED.

Yoosung, I want to be your ‘master’. Please & thank you.

Elixir of salvation. Ah, that wonderful combination of harsh chemicals & neurotoxins/hallucinogens. I wouldn’t put it past them to have added piss. Ray says he’s going to make it special for me though by adding flavor to it. This boy is probably going to add a dollop of ice cream in it & say “IT’S AN ELIXIR OF SALVATION FLOAT!” Hard pass.

V COME & SAVE ME ALREADY! But let’s keep the robe…. for reasons… (Hello, you have all been introduced to Meowle’s extensive clothing kink.)

“The secret has got out of my hands…” ::looks directly into the camera with both eyes unblinking:: Boy, I’ve been saying this since uh… 2 years… into your future….

If I’m forced to drink this shit despite choosing the answers of resisting I’m going scream. I DO NOT CONSENT.

SAVE YOURSELF V! RUN!

Ok really, I just want to pick Ray up, toss him over my shoulder, tell him to hush & trust me, & walk out of there while karate kicking everyone in the face. Come at me. (Congratulations Cheritz, you made me like a character I didn’t originally like. You sneaky skillful writers.)

Holy shit, excellent EXCELLENT voice acting by Saeran’s VA. That was absolutely phenomenal. Sujin Kang. Bravo!

DAY FIVE

THIS ROUTE HAS GOT ME EMOTIONALLY FUCKED UP & I AM ONLY ON THE START OF DAY 5?! How am I supposed to do this for 6 more days?

V panting in a phone call = my mind directly into the gutter. Whew.

Yes, because keeping MORE secrets has helped us in the past 4 days. Does nobody learn from their mistakes in this game?

((Explained the current plot of this route to my sister)) Sister: “Ok, if this took place here in Texas, you’d just bust in there with guns blazing to save those pink & mint boys.” Me: “I wouldn’t kill anyone!” Sister: “You could just like… aim for their legs so they can’t chase you out of there.”

“It doesn’t matter what happens to me” This almost feels like V’s emotions go beyond just self-sacrifice for those he cares about. This blatant disregard for his own safety feels very self-damaging. I’m wondering if they’ll tap into this idea further in the story. Does he not feel worthy of existing? Of love?

Whoa… whose voice is THIS? Whomever this lady voice is, she’s got protractors in her eyeballs too, like Juju.

“I’ve lost my violin, something I’ve played for my whole life.” GIRL, I FEEL YOU. My heart is shattering for her & I don’t even know who she is.

Ohhhh it’s V’s mom isn’t it?! Calling it now.

I'm laughing so hard. "IT IS TIME TO ACTIVATE THE INTELLIGENCE UNIT!" & it's not even established yet! Jumin please. Omg.

How adorable!! Teenage Jumin & V!!

Wow, V's philosophy on life sure did a massive 180 in 10 years. Hmm, methinks his mom is going to come in to play for that.

I swear, if anyone else pops in & tries to “cleanse me” I’d start throwing fists. Touch me, I dare you.

V is resisting every romantic approach. I feel bad for trying to flirt with him. I guess I’ll just flirt with Jumin then.

Zen giving Yoosung some major tough love. He didn't have to step up to care for Yoosung, but he did. Zen is a good man.

Yoosung's crying phone call is ripping me apart. Also this voice acting is phenomenal. So so good but so painful.

This is disgusting. Rika has some serious psychosis & V decided to suffer in it as some way to "prove his love". That's not love. This is blatant abuse. I'm appalled. V was blinded by 'love', literally & figuratively.

In the end, V was abused. He had his love for Rika twisted/manipulated & used against him. He was physically hurt by his lover. This makes me angry not just because it happened but because he gave consent. I’m just… so fucking baffled. You do not encourage someone who is mentally unstable (or even stable) to inflict pain on yourself or others as a means for them to try to maintain a grasp on their sanity or ‘happiness’ or because they want proof you ‘love them.’ V encouraged this, he allowed it, he consented & it fucking spiraled out of control. He took on so much pain. He thought by doing this he was somehow helping Rika, but it didn’t! It just made everything worse & Rika went on to hurt more people after this. Yes, I see that V is trying to redeem himself somehow, trying to keep everyone else out of the situation so they don’t suffer like he did & so they don’t get hurt but I can’t ignore the fact that V made mistakes in their relationship as well. Rika’s growing mental instability should have been handled with a lot more care (therapy ((if one doesn’t work try another)), hospitalization, medication). He knew from the beginning she was like this, no? He enabled these tendencies she had & it wasn’t good for either of them. I want to know his end goal. Was he just being selfish? Did he think only he could be a cure for her? What was he getting out of this since it didn’t read as if he was really being loved back. Did he do any of this out of malicious intent? No, I don’t think so - it reads as if he was doing what he thought was right but V made mistakes & I feel sorry for them both. V is a very tragic character indeed. He thought his love was some sort of cure-all for his lover but it wasn’t. This is actually very sad. In a way, I guess he did stop her from hurting others (for a time) or hurting herself, but that still doesn’t make this right.

I was heavily suspicious of V in the original routes (even though his voice was so goddamn sexy), particularly in Yoosung & Seven’s routes. I still think V is not entirely free from blame. I don’t think he’s by any means evil or manipulative, just misguided in what he thought was love but really was just self-sacrifice & pretty damn obsessive if you ask me. It also rings heavily of codependency. You don’t give up every part of yourself so your partner can find ‘happiness’, that’s not a healthy love. Love yourself a little more than that, Jihyun, please.

I don't like Rika. Yes, she did good things while ‘alive’ & at one point she might have been healthy & mentally stable but it spiraled out of her & anyone else's control into a very very dark place where she became toxic, manipulative, & delusional. She's done horrible acts that I refuse to look past regardless of her previous ‘good deeds’. Bad people can do good things for all the wrong reasons. She needs medical help, I can see that, but that doesn't mean I have to like her. Her words & actions against V are very selfish as well, demanding he prove his love by letting her physically hurt him? She targeted his need to please & exploited the hell out of that - backed him into a corner & kept badgering him about him proving his love (even though he seemed all too willing to do just that). This is wrong in every way. Mental illness isn’t a ‘free pass.’

This conversation between MC, Yoosung, & Jaehee felt very productive! Yoosung seemed to actually listen & take in another POV.

DAY SIX

Ok, I officially feel like I have no fucking idea what the actual shit Rika or V are talking about in any of their damn video novel conversations. Too many damn metaphors & nonsense. Yes yes, sunshine, flowers & dark skies. Let’s move along. I’d rather hear Yoosung crying.

Update: V officially changed his profile background picture again but still not his avatar picture.

I hope Elizabeth 3rd isn’t suffering at all through this dramatic period. Is she ok? Is she eating well? How are her jumps coming along? Has she been grooming properly? When was her last bowel movement? I hope my precious baby angel is doing well.

V’s mom is kicking me right in the emotions. Every word she’s saying is just devastating. To lose everything & be outcast, having your child ripped away, not being able to find solace in something you’d taken comfort in for decades… I can’t even begin to imagine.

What a sad sad parallel. V’s mom lost her hearing & therefore her art of music. V is losing his sight & therefore his art of photography. Wow.

Secrets secrets are no fun… BECAUSE IT’S FUCKING RUINING EVERYONE’S LIVES.

I don't want Ray to be abandoned again!

You make one comment about recognizing a 90s computer & Seven suddenly calls you "ma'am." Boy, I oughta...

Jaehee says that V drives a British make car that is silver in appearance. I am hoping it's a silver Aston Martin Vanquish (aka Meowle's absolute dream car - only I want it in black in black on black).

I am laughing so hard at the idea of Jaehee just turning toward Seven & asking, "Do you work out?” ((Another Story - Brought to you by Seven’s Hot Hot Body. He Works Out!))

Yeah girl, I hate to break it to you, but that mask is doing nothing to conceal your identity so…

Hahaaaaa Seven imitating Jaehee in this phone call is pretty damn hilarious.

Someone please tell me there some options to throw a punch or two cause I fucking will. I need a Mortal Kombat option.

Jumin's analogy about V, Yoosung, & the apple tree was really really good! That pep talk was amazing. Jumin hit a home run with that motivation speech.

What kinda photos did Seven find? Naughty photos? Photos of Rika hurting V? Are we going to get to see these later?

Ok ok this might be a stretch but it's almost like V's mom's love & desperation for her child, that concern to only want to shield from pain & no longer finding purpose in anything else in life, is heavily paralleled in V's need to protect his "art" (Rika). Is this why he was so determined to try to be the outlet for her pain? He really thought this was his way of protecting her? A set of photos in his series was called Obsession, right? Was this all about an obsession with Rika? Makes sense to me at least. V is in deep, I'm questioning his mental stabilities as well in these flashbacks, honestly.

This CG with Rika & MC makes me uncomfortable. Hands off, please & thank you.

God bless Jumin keeping me updated on Elizabeth 3rd because right now she's the only bright spot in this horrifically emotional route.

"Once they get used to love... I show them fear again. Just enough to get them scared. And when I save them again, they become happy." What kinda toxic manipulative evil callus twisted deceitful bullshit. Girl, if I get my hands on you I’ll show you something to be afraid of.

Shit is going down & Ray is texting me about sunflowers. "If you leave then I'll be the sunflower. I'm going to stand watching the direction you've gone to." 😢😢😢 Please, don’t hurt him anymore.

I am at the end of day 6 & honestly I don't know if I am about to bad end. Did I fuck up somewhere? Oh geez...

JUMIIIIN stepping in & delegating like a champ. I love you.

Rika just sort of confirmed my little theory about V & ‘noble self sacrifice’, thinking he was some sort of cure-all for her demons but didn't see that he was doing more harm than good. I don't want to agree with her here but I almost kinda have to. I mean, she did ask him to basically keep giving her unconditional love, so she’s also a hypocrite in saying it was entirely V’s fault. He wasn’t the cause of her “devil” but I think he certainly had an inadvertent hand in helping it flourish.

Cheritz, please let me fight someone in this game. PLEASE! I want a full on Mortal Kombat side mode. I will go full on Liu Kang up in here, complete with all the noises he made in Sega Genesis - HUUWAH!

Hell. No. I will not do anything for you ((at least not until I loop back around to intentionally bad end)). You can fuck right the fuck off. I ain't telling the RFA shit for you.

DAY SEVEN

Oh ho ho, defensive & in-denial Yoosung is out to play.

“We’re teenagers. This is the period where we express rebellion.” Cue Jumin tilting his tie clip 30* upward so it’s not perfectly perpendicular to his tie. REBELLION! Drink tap water instead of chilled glass-bottle mineral water. REBELLION! Pay with cash instead of card. REBELLLLLIIIOOOONNNN!

Real talk - Jumin, that was some outstanding advice. He’s telling this to his friend & they’re just children at this stage? That is some serious insight. I will never get over how Jumin, who is so emotionally closed off, is such a damn good friend to V. His delivery was impeccable as well, it wasn’t condescending or judgmental; it was sincere. It was very matter of fact but did have a hint of genuine concern for his friend. Their friendship makes me very happy & I am glad they have one another. This isn’t just a “little” chat. This conversation goes on to very likely change V’s entire life… & Jumin had a massive hand in that. I’m so amazed, y’all.

Ohhhh, I offered Jumin a hug & got shot down. I’m hurt. I’ll never recover. I need to redo his route so I can feel his love again.

“Super-ego” Oooook…. BOTH of y’all need to reevaluate some shit.

Rika had a bullied fucked up childhood & she needs some serious professional help. I feel like a broken record. She’s gone by the wayside, hell she’s lost the map entirely.

All these metaphors & analogies they keep using for their pain & torment, is exhausting. Hide it in prose all you want, what we have here is toxic.

This sort of solidifies my theory that Saeran has a split personality, this isn’t just anger. There’s just no way this is “the same” person. He’s been hurt by so many people. Now it’s sad to watch him hurt others. If they ever make a route of him, I will be very interested in seeing what the event was that causes him to finally shift personalities between Ray & Unknown (at least I’m assuming it’s Ray vs. Unknown & not Ray vs. Saeran).

“I will hack everything” Lmfaoooo. This made me snort laugh so hard my chest hurt. EVERYTHING! HIDE THE TOASTER. HIDE YOUR WATCH.

I can’t fault Yoosung so not believing what any of the RFA members tell him. He has no proof. He’s been lied to, just found out he’d been lied to, & now told to believe something else? Yeah, I wouldn’t believe anyone either. If you try to tell me that the person I loved & looked up to the most went evil, was hurting people, & started a cult I would tell you to fuck right off & laugh in your face. We also forget Yoosung is a scientist (though he’s not acting like one at the moment), he needs to see actual proof otherwise he’s not going to believe it. HOWEVER, he’s so loyal to Rika that if he were to show up at Mint Eye he’d very likely join them just to be with Rika again. I hope the RFA fights tooth & nail to keep him from going to Mint Eye.

Ok ok, in this VN, V expresses that he feels grateful to have been told by Jumin to not live his father’s life & to live for himself & make his own opinion about his mom. So… when is someone going to step in & tell V to not live his life for Rika, because ever since he claimed to be “her sun” that’s what he’s been doing… living for someone else again. V needs to live for himself, find what really makes him happy. A lot of this route so far hints that V is struggling with self-love & being ‘selfish’ enough to find what makes him genuinely happy. Also, Jihyun seems very sensitive to the opinion of others. That’s an interesting character trait - nothing wrong with it. I quite like that he’s played up as sensitive but tries to take on burdens himself to spare others - makes him a very tragic & compelling character.

ZEN MOANING IN A PHONE CALL LORD JESUS I NEED TO DRINK SOME HOLY WATER. THANK YOU, CHERITZ.

Is it just me or does anyone else think that Seven coming to Mint Eye on his own is actually a bad idea? You don’t mean to tell me this boy is not going be distracted by seeing his brother like this? Hmm saving brother vs. saving random new girl. … no contest.

“If you can’t relax yourself, I’ll make you relax.” Please please make me relax Zen. Please, omg.

THERE’S A “ZEN, MIND IF I REPLACE YOOSUNG?” OPTION. BLESS YOU CHERITZ YOU ARE TOO GOOD TO ME.

Angry mother-hen Zen is ridiculously amazing.

Oh please oh pleeeeease let there be a phone call to Yoosung where he’s moaning because of his massage.

WHAT IS WITH JIHYUN’S FAMILY "SACRIFICING THEIR EVERYTHING" STOP. NO. STOP THIS TRAIN OF MADNESS.

BLESS THE PHONE CALL WITH YOOSUNG GASPING & LAUGHING AS ZEN TICKLES HIM. Yoosung is ticklish along his sides. It's canon.

“I didn’t love Rika.” WHOMP THERE IT IS!

JIHYUN JUST ADMITTED HE WAS OBSESSED WITH RIKA. THAT IS A BIG STEP, PASTEL BOY! I actually put my phone down, yelled “I WAS RIGHT!” to absolutely nobody because I was alone, walked out of the room then marched right back in to keep playing the chat…

::shuffles notecards:: ::clears threat:: ::lips on the mic:: The sun is a burning ball of gas in space. It is not capable of emotions such as 'unconditional love'. It will instantly kill you on contact. Quit placing so many expectations on the sun in your fucking metaphors. Good day.

That Rika screaming CG makes me uncomfortable. I would now like to be excluded from this narrative.

I just laughed so fucking hard. Rika is having a fucking breakdown & Seven's voice just pops in ‘PSSST, ARE YOU LYNN?!’ I can't.

DAY EIGHT

Ohhh. Ohhhhhhhh. These answer choices are getting trickier. Just completely bash Rika or kinda calmly defend V? Hmm, decisions decisions.

So Seven didn’t see Saeran at all… & still somehow doesn’t know it’s actually Saeran that’s the hacker. Interestiiiiing.

Called Zen after 00:44 chat Day 8. Told him he was doing a good job by watching Yoosung because it was a hard task. “Did you just… diss Yoosung… in a subtle way?” I died when he laughed!

These answer choices all feel too similar to one another. I’m gonna fuck this up. I’m going to bad end on day 10… just watch. ((I have like 5 save files going though so…))

Yep, I expected this from Yoosung. He’s honestly not as bad as I thought he’d be. He even voices that he understands he’s being unreasonable & whiney - he just can’t help the way he’s feeling. This is a very visceral & real reaction. I think I don’t find it annoying because I was fully expecting this. I braced myself for it & I am enjoying seeing it play out. He was the most loyal to Zika, he’s going to take a lot to make him believe. Oh, what if there’s a bad end where he & MC both end up as part of Mint Eye?!

::battered & bruised:: ::speaks into walkie-talkie:: Day 8 on mission of V route. So far no casualties. On the path to Good End still. But V still hasn’t changed his fucking profile picture. Over.

[[Here is where I caved & actually started to spend the thousands of hourglasses I have on buying days in bulk instead of just calls for V & Ray.]]

180 HG for a days worth of chats?! Gooooood Lord. ::clicks accept::

Ray’s clapping happy emoji is the cutest shit I’ve ever seen.

I CAN’T LIE TO HIM & SAY I DON’T LIKE ICE CREAM. I FUCKING LOVE ICE CREAM. I HAVE MORE ICE CREAM IN MY FREEZER THAN ANY OTHER FOODS…

Whoa cool! Ray & Rika (my phone keeps correcting her name to be ‘Zika virus’) have profiles in the hacked messenger!

I told V “art” is part of my job because medicine is an art, right? Isn’t that a saying? “The art of medicine.”

Call V after 7:13 chat. This is a good call from him - not romantic I mean - but definitely good for more insight on how he now views his role in Rika’s progression.

Whoa whoa new chat room theme song when Rika joined in.

VANDERWOOOOOOOOOD!!! Bless. Their haggling is pretty adorable.

Update: V finally changed his profile picture & is emo as fuck.

About time these idiots realize the sun is fucking dangerous. Stop using it for your nonsense. This is driving me more insane than any other aspect of the game. Mention the sun again & I’m going to go stare directly into it until my corneas melt.

Was that finally a confession of feelings for you but kinda backhanded about it? With how torn up Jihyun is about this entire Rika situation, I’m very surprised that this route would even be considered a love endeavor between he & MC. I don’t think he’s anywhere near emotionally ready to pursue a new relationship with someone so soon after this chaos. I don’t know how I’ll feel if either of the ‘good’ endings is them together right away - it’ll just feel so wrong for the progression of his character. I think Jihyun needs to learn to love & accept himself before he can open up again to trying to love someone - at least loving something the right way.

Hahaaaa like hell am I going to say THE SUN is my muse. I’m going to stop going out in daylight at this point. My bones are going to get brittle. Thanks, Cheritz.

Omg V’s mom is such a boss lady. Be strong, Lynn. Don’t cry.

Aw shit, that fucked me up emotionally.

Is this why V doesn’t like people looking at his body? Does he have scars from this fire? I hope we get more on this. Or was that body comment just another glimpse into how unsure V is about himself? Another tidbit of not loving himself? Hmm.

I am honestly at a loss, I don’t know if I’m answering correctly to get to the party.

Noooo! V, why did you lie again?! He asked you point blank. You were progressing so well. THIS CAN ONLY END IN TEARS. TELL SEVEN THE TRUTH! Seven is going to be beyond hurt when he finds out that you just kept lying! He needs to know about Saeran! He needs to save him!

The music in this 22:00 chat is absolutely fantastic. Who is the music developer for this game. Give them a raise & a three week vacation to Hawaii. This soundtrack is so great.

OMGGGG did I fuck up? If V goes back to Rika, I swear. I’m so done. Ohh, that’s going to be a bad end, isn’t it? He’s going to give in again & go back to her!

This relationship is so twisted. We’re talking in fucking circles. This is the most unproductive conversation I’ve ever been a part of & I’ve spoken with anti-vaxxers in person.

I’m absolutely crushed. This was it. This was the moment? That full break between Ray & Unknown… I have no words. This is so so sad. The VA even does a different voice each of them.

I’m crying. Full on tears. Ray…

If this was the moment of the full separation between Ray & Unknown in this timeline, I am still curious what was the trigger to cause the full break between personalities in the original timelines. I really hope we get a Saeran route now. I wasn’t hoping for one before, but Cheritz has me hooked now. I need redemption for Saeran.

DAY NINE

So, I’m guessing I’m on the right track? Because I just realized a lot of the answers in this portion have a lot of self-centered MC options? So I’m trying to avoid the “me me me, V is better off with me” choices & focusing more on the “V is changing & growing for himself” options. I’m sticking with that since I’m fully on board with my theory that V needs to learn to love & live for himself.

DON’T BRING THE MOON INTO THIS. LEAVE HER ALONE. SHE DOESN’T DESERVE THIS.

Juuuumiiiin. I’ve missed you!

How many times do you think Rika had to set up her phone to auto take that photo of her standing in front of the Moon before she got it right?

VANDERWOOD!

VANDERWOOD SELFIE!

GIVE VANDERWOOD AN RFA PROFILE

VAN.DER.WOOOOOOD.

Vanderwood is laying down some fucking truth in this VN with V. Vanderwood - the voice of the people.

At this point, I'm just over arguing & talking in circles.

My heart was in my throat thinking Ray was going to drop the news that Seven was his brother in that chat room they were in together. I was waiting for it; I don’t even think I was breathing.

Oh RFA members + Mint Eye in the same chat rooms?! LET’S DO THIS.

Petition to rename the RFA to something else, anything else.

WHO DID THIS WOMAN JUST STAB. OMG. OMGGGGG. WTF WAS THAT PHONE CALL?!

Nobody has ever given V a hug before? How cold. I’ll hug you. I’ll hug the crap out of you.

I’m going to go hug my mom…

Update: Hugged my dad along the way to finding my mom to hug her. Hugged my cat too. My sister opened her arms for a hug when she saw I was making rounds, but I just high-fived both hands & walked past. I’m such an asshole.

Rika is flip flopping all over the damn place. Did you want his love or not? Is he your sun or not? Are you angry or not? Do you want him dead or not? I’m over it. Go away.

Ok why the fuck was the phone call from Rika about her stabbing someone BEFORE the actual VN where she stabbed someone?! I was so confused. That has to be some glitch.

$10 says now Rika is going to be torn between wanting V to die or not. She’s just going to keep flip-flopping. In the end, she’s just as obsessed.

Wow. Wow. The phone call where Seven is freaking out. Like genuine emotion scared shitless. Excellent acting.

DAY TEN

Rika was off looking for love her entire life when Yoosung was literally there right beside her loving her unconditionally when he finally met her.

Lmao "Don't go to the apartment, Yoosung. There's a bomb there." Yeah that's right, bitches. I can see in the future.

Damn Jaehee. Savage. I liiiiike it.

"I didn't stab him that deep." Confession! WHOOP, THERE IT IIIIIS.

Son of a bitch. Ray is going to sacrifice himself isn't he?! While Rika's off playing house in her apartment again. I'm so pissed. Please please please let Seven save him.

I've been waiting for this Rika/Yoosung messenger chat! Now I fully expect Yoosung to resist harder & plead/beg. If I'm wrong, I'll eat my hat.

Damn they just give MC a straight up "hang up" option on Rika. Take no shit, MC.

Everyone is hella vaguing in their profiles lolololol. You know you’re desperate when you’re vaguing in a closed off messenger accessible to only 7 people. We all know who you’re talking about. You’re not slick.

Oh shit. V's mom making a comeback to slap me right in my feelings.

Ray's call after the 18:00 chat...

I have never been more attracted to Jumin in my fucking LIFE.

Ray’s best call is the one you make to him after 19:49. He cares so so much. He has so much to give despite being hurt & used & broken over & over again. This was a great phone call. Devastatingly sad, but excellent for his character.

Where in the fresh hell did Vanderwood just pop off to? Last I saw him Seven asked him to look after MC. Then never again…

You bet your ass I chose the answer to tie Yoosung up. Like my thirsty domme ass was going to let that opportunity sliiiiiide on by. I’m not even surprised that Yoosung giggled at the idea. Bless his subby heart. Boy wants it bad. I am willing to give & give & give...

Whooooa 21:53 chat: “Ray has entered the chatroom” but ended with “Unknown has left the chatroom” I know this happened before but this is right before the final fight, right? Is Seven going to show up & find Unknown instead of Ray? Are they even going to do the brother reveal? Ray’s going to die, isn’t he? I can’t help but think that if V had told him, Seven would have tried harder, would have gone there personally. But then maybe Seven would get hurt too? Is Seven going to die?!

Yes, Jihyun! Find & love yourself! Live for yourself! This is an excellent idea! I approve of this. You need this. Forget about Rika! I wish you luck!

Sonofabitchfuckfuckfuck. Ray deserved better. RAY DESERVED BETTER. That poor boy. He was so used, so confused, & so so tormented. I’m so angry. This wasn’t fair. I’m going to pout & be pissy about this for a long time. I’m hoping he really isn’t dead. Please please. I’m going to be in denial about this, I know it. I mean, they did show him in the control room in Mint Eye. He gave his final words & then there was the explosion. Is it too silly to hope that he somehow got out? Maybe...

Wowowow. That final chat with Rika, begging like that. That was brutal. Even in the middle there she switched between pleading & saying she’d get revenge. I really do pity her & I hope she gets help in this route but at this point I don’t even know. I’m on this emotional see-saw where I really dislike her but on the other side pity her. I’ll admit, I’m spending a lot more time on the side of not liking her.

DAY ELEVEN

She’s not dead. There’s no way. I won’t believe it until I see a body (same with Saeran). YOU CAN’T TRICK ME. I’M A VETERAN OF THESE PLOYS!

Jumin. Fucking. Han. This man is so good. He’s so strong even though he’s struggling himself. That “lean on me” line nearly had me tearing up. Jumin Han is a GOOD MAN.

Also, Jumin said it isn’t confirmed if the hacker was in the building or not. I mean, being in a direct explosion could very well decimate a body, but what if he got out? Ray did sound pretty desolate about not having anywhere else to go & did seem pretty resigned to this suicide mission though. This isn’t fair.

PARTY ATTEMPT #1 (Invited 24 guests) - Good Ending?

WHAT?! WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON? Is this like a “bad end” party? Why is she here? I fucked up, didn’t I? (I feel like the Minister of Magic in Harry Potter shouting “He’s back!”) ((If she gets to live & Ray actually died... I can’t. I’m still so angry.))

Yoosung, noooo!

OMG YOOSUNG, YES!

V’s mom has managed to make me tear up nearly every time she pops up on the screen. She had such impact on this route despite not be present in the here & now of it. She’s an angel. A fucking angel. Every CG of her’s has blessed me. This background story on her was so amazing. Her struggle & sacrifice for her son & finding purpose in herself after losing so much was... so beautiful. I’m going to cry again.

BABY JIHYUN WITH HIS MOM CG. I’m crying for real. This is beautiful. The emotions for this were so so good.

What is with this game & Alaska?! Everyone is going there. Maybe Ray went to Alaska!

That’s rich, Zen. Calling Jumin an alcoholic. Pot meet kettle.

Shit goddamn Jumin, was it necessary to be THAT savage about Zen’s selfies?

Jihyun turned into a beautiful happy hippie.

Hippie Jihyun is hot as hell. That smile. Wow.

Holy shit. “I want to love you. I will love you. I love you, just as I love myself.” That’s a damn good line! Damn good.

Honestly, I am beyond glad, thrilled, immensely happy that there was a two year gap between Jihyun & MC actually getting together. If he had just jumped right into a relationship with MC after all of this, I would have questioned the foundation of the relationship. He was not emotionally ready for that so I’m glad the story allowed the time break so he could grow, heal, discover on his own.

I like that Jihyun wanted to be called his birth name again, not the ‘persona’ V that he’d created for his art, like a cloak or shield. He found & accepted himself & wanted to be that person. That’s beautiful. Self-love is very hard to achieve. I know a lot of people struggle with it, so it’s nice to see that represented in a character.

I want answers for what happened with Rika. We are just to assume she was sent off somewhere to get help with no updates?

I do not like that Seven was never told about Ray. I know it would cause more hurt for him, but he deserved to know. That just felt dirty. I feel dirty.

I am genuinely impressed that Yoosung was the one to stand up at the end to apprehend Rika. He was a little tornado this entire route & I was glad to see him finally understand at the end that this Rika was not the same one he cared so deeply for. Being the one to grab her & hand her in, had to have hurt him - but he stepped up & did it. That was good progression for him. Took him a long damn while to get to that acceptance, but that action of his took a lot.

I’m glad Jihyun’s route focused more on his development to turn away from obsession & look toward himself. It’s a similar kind of character growth in the other routes (learning to accept yourself & grow beyond something holding you back). These stories were never just about falling in love with someone, they grew to be better versions of themselves in the end. Jihyun’s development was definitely more artistic (cushioned in prose & woven in metaphors & abstracts) than others, but it was interesting just the same.

I like that they made such a big deal about Jihyun getting his eyes repaired. He refused to get them healed other times, but showing he was willing now & grateful to Jumin for setting it up was a nice touch to see how developed he’s become & showing he’s willing to let go of Rika (despite him talking about her every other sentence still…). Baby steps. He’s letting go of the hurt, recognizing he’s worthy of love & happiness too.

Maybe it’s just me, but was anyone else sort of wanting to see a CG of one of Jihyun’s paintings? I would have liked to have seen what they considered his painting style. He looks much more relaxed & carefree in his good ending CG, I wondered if his paintings would have reflected that.

PARTY ATTEMPT #2 (Invited 5 guests) - Normal Ending?

I really like this idea of Jihyun just venturing out on his own to find what he likes, what makes him happy. The self-discovery journey. But boy, you were just stabbed. I don’t think you can be discharged within a day after a celiotomy.

Jihyun talking about his dream house is ridiculously cute. This man essentially wants a little messy cottage in the city. How adorable. He went from being a materialistic & pragmatic teenager to being content with a sort of abstract pleasures in his adulthood.

Oh, so in this ending Jihyun asks MC right off the bat to be with him. Seems a little rushed, no? I don’t think he’s ready. He’s feeling a lot right now. Who is to say his obsession won’t transfer over to MC? He claims to have learned his lesson & to recognize the difference between obsession & love but I still think it’s very soon. I really wouldn’t want this to turn into Jihyun becoming dependent on MC after this emotional trauma & that being the basis for their relationship.

MC’S ONLY RESPONSE IS “ALRIGHT” Omg. So bland.

Are we to assume that Rika is actually dead in this ending? Because she never showed back up? Hmm.

So there’s a 2 year jump in this ending too, only we’re to assume that MC & Jihyun have been together as a couple during that time?

Ohhhhhh you can call Jihyun “darling”! <3

Wait, didn’t Jihyun say he wanted a little house in the city with curtains to block out the sun? This looks like a high rise apartment with massive fucking windows & sheer curtains that let in a lot of sun... but ok.

WHOA WHOA, Jihyun became a musician in this ending?! I want to know what he plays! Does he play piano like his theme song?! Does he play violin like his mom?!?! I will cry.

Jihyun’s pouty voice is ADORABLE! Holy crap where has this been all my life?!

Oh, interesting! He’s still very sensitive to the opinions of others (I mean, I certainly didn’t expect that to go away, you’re always going to fear criticisms). At least, he seems a little more open to hearing them, even if he’s hesitant to play for MC again since he wants her to like what he plays. He’s still a little shy, private, & sensitive. Cute.

These rich boys & their pancakes…

Jumin obsessed with pancake recipes confirmed. I love him so much.

His answer about their relationship was very sweet & shows how he’s come to understand a give & take balance, as well as loving himself & genuinely loving together. That was cute.

Still pissed that Seven never found out about Ray.

I want to know what instrument Jihyun plays!

OTHER

I went from being very skeptical of Jihyun’s character (he just felt downright shady) in other routes to liking him (now that we see the depths of his self-damaging & self-sacrificing behavior & the full reason behind all the secrets). He’s certainly not perfect. He’s made many mistakes. He was misguided in a lot of aspects. He’s still learning & now trying to do better. He’s talented, pretty, sensitive, kind, & generous. He was a victim as well & even had a hand in his own progressing downfall before he realized his mistakes & reevaluated himself & the situation. I definitely like him a lot more now that I know the reasoning behind his actions & seeing the changes in him for the better - especially seeing him accept & appreciate himself more.

Yeah yeah, I’m going to be that person - I’m sad we didn’t get a kiss CG! I wanted one, not going to lie. Maybe we’ll get one for his After Ending if he gets an after ending?! Who knows. I wanna smooch him, that’s for sure.

I expected to like the normal ending more since I liked all the other normal endings for the other characters more than their good endings, however I find myself liking Jihyun’s good ending over his normal ending. I just can’t get past the fact that I think he needed that self-evaluation time away from MC. That two years apart (though probably a lot longer than I would have expected the game to do) felt necessary. In his good ending, Jihyun sounded much more certain that MC was who he wanted to be with & to love instead of asking MC straight away to just stick by him in his normal ending. In his normal ending, MC questioned him, & he sort of recited a dialogue about their love. Maybe I’m reading too much into this, but it sounded like he was trying to reassure himself? Or maybe MC was just trying to gently remind him that yes, what we have is real, & healthy, & good for both of us & just needed him to say it aloud? Regardless, good ending sat better with me overall.

I still want to know what the other photos were in that series of photographs he took. I mean Seven, sounded pretty damn shocked by them. We didn’t even get a line about if it was actual imagines of inflicted harm or salacious material (I’m not trying to be a pervert for once, I’m genuinely curious).

Ray deserved better. I don’t think I can put it into any other words than that. I was very upset with his end in all of this. He didn’t deserve that. Only Rika & V knew his identity. Rika is either dead or being treated somewhere (depending on whichever ending you cater to) & in neither of the endings did Jihyun make known that the hacker was Saeran. I’m legitimately angry about this. How can Saeran even rest in peace that way? Is only the audience (& MC) to mourn for him? Everyone (RFA) is mourning for Rika in a sense but Ray deserves SOMEONE who knows who he was. Sure, Rika has that moment where she screamed & felt remorse, but she still didn’t speak up. Would anyone have believed her if she had? Maybe not. But he deserved someone trying on his behalf. Maybe I’m sitting too long on this, but it felt dirty. I know I said that earlier somewhere, but I still think it. This was wrong. He died in an explosion, alone, with only two people knowing who he really was & they didn’t fucking say anything. Seven is never going to really know what happened to his brother, so what happens if he goes looking for him in the future? Fuck, I’m crying again. I’m so sorry, Ray. You didn’t deserve this, you just trusted the wrong people.

149 notes · View notes