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#can he just f me already?
lilyminer · 2 months
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Daan gives me this specific vibe I see so much in series where deities like, indisputable exist in that world. Where like, he wishes he could be an atheist. I feel like if so many gods didn’t all collectively decide to fuck up this one guys life in every way possible he’d love to completely ignore their existence.
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frecklydork · 1 month
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GOD!!!!! 😭😭💓💗💖💓💓💞💞💕💟💝💘💝💝💞💗💘💝💟💓💗💞💕💟💝💘💓💖💓💕💕
#I LOVE HIM SO MUCH HE MAKES ME SO SO SO HAPPY 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺#love notes#💕♬♪ ♡ I fall more in love with you every day (Blue) Valentine - ̗̀💙💌🍦 ̖́-#love that every Ryan character has just become another bf to make me feel safe and loved#I have come so far from where I was one year ago#i love that i can self ship with this guy and im like YES he loves me he protects me he would never hurt me#its hard to feel that way 24/7 but i feel that way at least half of the time now#and thats all that matters is that im getting better even if its fluctuating and messy. i AM getting better#because i know one year ago today i would not have been able to self ship with any characters whatsoever#Dean isn't even a villain or a serial killer or whatever he's just some dude. just some guy in a jacket.#but back then i just could not for the life of me feel safe with anyone bc the abuse was so fresh#and just. thank god i am at a point where i can ship with some characters now. even when it's so goddamn HARD#its at least HAPPENING. y'know. like. i am healing even if it's so fucking SLOW going#the fact that i can look at this 5 second scene and feel a burst of love in my heart#and think to myself 'yeah yeah he loves me so much he'd hold me through my nightmares too'#that's. huge. compared to a year ago where i just. could not.#it hasn't even been a year since i cut my abuser from my life yet and im already making little progress#even if it's. so. minuscule. there is progress happening just bc of the passing of time#and the fact that Barbie came into my life exactly when it was supposed to and Ryan's been in all these movies i can focus on#it all worked out like the stars were aligned perfectly for me to meet these F/Os and for them to heal me#i don't think that's coincidence or accident or anything. i think that's some... universal or spiritual thing#like something out there is looking out for me even if it's just the galaxy itself#these characters were meant for me and i was planned to meet them and for them to heal me#slowly one day at a time. ANYWAY. WAHHH. HUGGING AND KISSING DEAN PEREIRA MY SILLY BOYFRIEND
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anemoflower · 3 months
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Me: *playing R.aiden's story quest yesterday, super excited about the story etc.*
Also Me: *just takes tons of screenshots of T.homa* Wait- what was the mission again?
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Alsooooo the two g.enshin bfs standing next to each other (pls ignore that Wrio is in "rage mode", he fought a bunch of h.ilichurls seconds before and hasn't cooled down yet- haha "cooled down" get it- sry)
Tbh I can't imagine how these two would interact with each other but they are for sure gushing about their girlfriends ❤
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devizakura · 11 months
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*twirls hair* so there's this lost media ARG puppet...
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kuroiikamen · 4 months
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see if ro‍dy was my boyfriend i would cook for him while he plays the guitar for me and i would listen while he shows me music and i would treasure him bc he's adorable and doing his best !!!!
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septembersghost · 1 year
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friends, as i said and tried to be clear, there are topics i don't feel comfortable publicly addressing, and i really don't like doing condemnations/whataboutisms with people's mistakes, as if one can win a "more moral" challenge, but if it's old hollywood related, just assume i already know. then assume almost anything you've read in passing is way more complicated than whatever clickbait is on the internet.
anyway, far less complicated, natalie wood's mother was a monster
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kennabeth · 5 months
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I think kell's going to break up with lila
he's done nothing but change to be what she wants while he gets nothing from her in return--they're doing her job, she makes fun of him for the ring and he thinks she threw it away, he wants to be told he's going to be okay through his pain and she just yells at him and leaves him alone, she's molded him into the same kind of fighter she is because she's outwardly acting like there's nothing they can do about his magic anymore, he's begged her to tell him she wants to be around him after swallowing her dismissive attitude for years.
in her head, obviously, she says she loves him and keeps the ring on her at all times, but she's driving him away by pretending like their relationship can just be in her head. I know she's been trained by her childhood to reveal nothing to anyone but she just can't continue living like this if she wants kell to stay in her life. being around rhy and alucard is only going to remind kell of what a healthy relationship can look like.
and if he doesn't leave, he probably should
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hydrachea · 2 years
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The rational part of me knows Avenger Nobu is among the worst servants ever released gameplay wise. The rest of me is looking at my pile of grails and enough fous to make her 2000/2000 and telling me to take the matter into my own hands.
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kanene-yaaay · 1 year
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howwww dare an anime to come to an end how dare you to make all the conflicts get a solution and tie the loose ends and let the main character finally find what he was looking for and for the characters to have a brillant, beautiful future full of nice memories and happiness and-
Edit: I CAN’T BELIEVE I HIT THE TAG LIMIT AND HALF OF THEM WERE DELETED I- SDFGHJKJHGFDFGHJ
#YEAH I AM TALKING ABOUT MOB PYSCHO#Y E AH#I AM NOT FINE#I WANT TO CRY#HOLY F#I was not prepared#I knew that it was going to be emotional and break me emotionally but gosh gosh it was so pretty so perfect so good#spoilers ahead#the 'just accept yourself already. I know that you can do this. Because you're Mob' OH MY GOOOOSH#I am literally and I mean LITERALLY with tears in my eyes as I type this#and the snippets of the future#RITSU AND MOB BEING MUCH MORE AT EASE W EACH OTHER. RITSU BEING PLAYFUL. RITSU! BEING! PLAYFUL!!!#Teru finally finding a good hairstyle god bless AND ASKING TO SHIGEO TO GO W HIM TO SHOPPING AWWW#bruh Tome working w Reigen that was SO MIND BLOW#NOT TO MENTION SHIGEO BECOMING VICE PRESIDENT OF THE BODY IMPROVEMENT CLUB#MY BOY DOESN'T PASS OUT AFTER RUNNING ANYMOREEEEE#HE KNOWS HOW TO PLAY#SPORTS#Gosh. GOSH I am truly not over the part where 'Shigeo' and 'Mob' accept each other#HE ACCEPTED HIS POWERS. HE ACCEPTED THE PERSON HE IS WITHOUT THEM. HE ACCEPTED ALL THE SUPERNATURAL FORCE THAT EXISTS INSIDE HIM#Reigen having a surprise b-day party in the end with everyone absolutely BROKE ME especially because his last b-day was spent totally alone#drinking and talking with people that only talked w him because of his advices#AND DIMPLES IS BACK I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU SONOFA-#I GOT A HEADACHE FROM HOW MUCH I CRIED OVER YOUR '''''DEATH'''''''' I WILL FIGHT YOU I WILL FIGHT YOU#I love this ending more than words can explain. Reigen almost crying at the end. They all being goofy and playful and SHIGEO LAUGHING.#SHIGEO FREELY LAUGHING OUT LOUD NON STOP#I have been blessed#also not gonna lie the '100% Shigeo Kageyama' GOT ME okay???????#I can't man. The whole arc of him being deadly afraid of his powers because of how destructive they are and finally FINALLY he accepting-#-himself in all his forms is just too much for me
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frecklydork · 5 months
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[starts sniffling and crying when seeing pictures of ryan gosling from the fall guy movie] oh ok it's that kind of night
#the ache in my chest... i dont know why it makes me teary#i should be looking forward to seeing a new ryan movie? to getting a new F/O?#so why am i crying huh why am i so sad that it's making me shed actual tears#is it because i'm worried it'll be just another F/O who i'm gonna afraid of? another F/O im conditioned to fear?#is it just gonna be another F/O that i've prematurely lost to my trauma? that i wouldnt be worthy of his love? or smth stupid like that#huh!!! what is it!!! i should be happy but its like a knife to the chest#vent#sorry i just needed to put this out into the void#i used to be so excited to get new F/Os but now it's like... it just hurts#I used to think 'oh! new bf/gf! kissed and thrown into the pile!'#now it's like 'oh. new person who would look at me and see someone so worthless'#i never used to be like this until i was abused and now its all i can do#i NEVER looked down on myself like this. i NEVER believed my F/Os would cast me aside#i never ever ever doubted that I'd be so wholeheartedly loved#but now it's all i know how to do#i don't even know his character's name and i'm already thinking he wouldn't love me back#that all of my pining isn't requited that all of my drawings and stories and animatics are so worthless#that all of my self ships are a joke. that all of my drawings and fics and animatics are a joke#that everything i've done to feel loved by these characters is hilariously incorrect#like who can possibly fathom that i am inherently lovable when im just used as. some. some punching bag#as my abuser put it. she's right. that's all im good for#my F/Os wouldnt see me as anything more
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ssaalexblake · 10 months
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i don’t really care abt spock or chapel as characters but i’m being compelled by my status as a passive aggressive bisexual to ship them because other people are annoying and i approve of fighting fire with fire. 
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icewindandboringhorror · 11 months
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Daily Log 9
Trying out (probably just temporarily) making short daily-ish notes about things, in an attempt to see if it helps me be more reflective or productive lol.
Activities: Worked on the previously mentioned tapestry style painting thing for like 5-6 hours today (with a few breaks in between), and that's just for the border around the main picture lol.. I think all the little sections and detail always take longer than I think they might. But hopefully the final product will look interesting! :0
I feel like I'm entering another Sick Phase where I just am weird/ill/sleepy/having joint pains much of the day (probably some vitamin deficiencies or hormone imbalances or general bodily inflammation or whatever nonsense seems to randomly pop up from time to time lol), so couldn't focus on anything more intensive like writing or editing videos, unfortunately. It's good to have smaller crafts I can do that don't take much mental effort and are just menial hand tasks (like carving, painting, sculpting, etc.), but I still always feel frustrated falling behind on the things I see as much more broadly significant to my overall life and potential career (making games, writing, finishing videos, socializing, costumes, etc.)
Organized my desk a little. Responded to some doctor emails. Paid bills.
Planned out something I might make with pressed flowers tomorrow.
Edited like 4 costume photos.
Also have a lingering sense of dread due to the weather. The heat often makes me feel terrible, and if I'm already in kind of a Bad Phase at the moment, I'm afraid of it making it even worse... stimky..
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Which I know these temperatures are nothing to some people but.. to me... aUGHHHH... I am abnormally heat sensitive + live in a dinky old apartment with no ventilation that gets direct sun the hottest part of the day.. on a 90F day outside, it literally gets about 84F inside.. like.. even people who love the heat I feel like would struggle to sleep at night if their bed is 85F lol... hewwo.. You can spray yourself down with water, drink ice water, put a fan on yourself, etc. etc. but.. sometimes it just feels so oppressive and inescapable..
ANYWAY. Aside from painting, feeling weird, and dreading the upcoming heat/contemplating my entire life and how to get enough money to move to a different climate somehow one day/existential exhaustion/etc., I didn't accomplish very much lol
Spent maybe 30 minutes thinking about a little more worldbuilding stuff, and some things in reference to the game I mentioned resuming work on at some point.
Notable sights: The clouds were really pretty and pastel this afternoon, and some stars are visible in the sky for once since the nights are beginning to be clearer. The 'forget me not' flowers that I thought had died after transplanting actually seemed to be perked up and healthy looking today, and perhaps may actually survive. >:3
Goals moving forward: Do new poll adventure post. focus on social activities, finding new friends in the places I want to move, communicating with the ones I have. Physical therapy exercises. Finish and upload videos, edit costume pictures & etc. Do the new costumes I've planned. MAKE SCULPTURES at some point, I miss them.
Notable foods: Not much, kind of a warm day so didn't really want to use the oven. No idea how I'll handle the diet I've been put on by my doctors (involves usually cooking all food fresh, using the stove a lot, nothing is supposed to be canned or processed or premade, so that eliminates a lot of 'quick easy simple warm weather' meals, etc. etc.) during the heatwave. I might just have to break the diet a little and hope it doesn't give me stomach pains while I'm already hot and feeling sick lol..
I did have a boiled egg with some green onions on top, which is very simple but was refreshing somehow lol. Another ice cold ginger ale treat today, and some cold prune juice (which I know most people find gross/it's an old person food/etc., but I like that it's a smooth textured and not very sweet juice? Like it's slightly thicker than apple juice, has a lightly bitter taste, etc. I just find it nice for some reason. More evidence I am secretly an 85 year old wizard)
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#why can't it be global cooling instead of global warming.. what if everything was just ice and I was comfortable and happy all year around#heat also sometimes gives me like a.. mild situational claustrophobia (like not a place that you are confined in/can't escape#but more an environmental factor that's all consuming. Like when there's fires and smoke fills the sky for days and it's like no matter#where you are you could never get away from it unless you're locked inside shut off from the entire world. if you need a breath#of fresh air or are feeling too confined you no longer have the option of going outside. it's all toxic. etc.)#Or like part of why I hate long car rides is for that reason. If I'm 3 hours away from home there is no way for me to get home#other than to ride 3 hours back. If I suddenly decided I really would rather be home I could not get home quickly. the 3 hours#to get home is an inescapable barrier. No matter how sick I started feeling or how bad things are and how much I wish I was comfortable#and safe at home - the only way to get there is to get there. you knowwhat I mean lol? I can't just be home in 20 minutes#it's a 3 hour ride or nothing. etc. etc. Like if you're on a ship in the middle of the ocean and suddenly just desperately decided you need#to be back on land. there isn't anything you can do. nothing will get you back on land but to stay on the ship and travel the hours it take#to get there. there's no quick exit. No way out that isn't doing the thing you already really don't want to be doing anymore (being in a ca#r or being in a ocean or etc. No alternative route but to just suffer the situation longer). idk.. if that makes sense??#so with the heat sometimes it's like.. it's hot INSIDE and it's hot OUTSIDE and it's hot everywhere you go theres no escape#from it and nothing you can do but just.. be hot. no matter how desperate you are to just BE COLD even for a few minutes#you simply don't have the option. The only way to get cool again is to just wait out the hot weather. You can yearn for the feeling of a#cool breeze all you want but abdolutely nothing will get you colder than just to be miserable in place and wait for the passage of time.#I always get that feeling in the summer like after five 90+F degree days in a row you're like AAAAAAAAAA#JUST AN ESCAPE JUST A QUICK ESCAPE DEAR LORD ' and then 5 minutes later like 'hee he. no its fine. haha. im actually so okay#with my situation i am coping.' short bursts of heat induced frantic anxiety with some resigned calm in between ghjgj#ANYWAY. yes every year I complain about the same thing. I am a hater and a complainer first and foremost ggh.. I love to be honest and#express my thoughts and opinions. I think way too many people are so reserved and repress everything for the sake of like social etiquitte#or personal insecurity (like owrrying they're being annoying or talking too much or that novody cares what they say etc.)#and then that ends up causing passive agression and communication issues and resentments that boil under the surface for years because they#re never adequately expressed. I don't think complaining is an inherently negative thing and it's weird to me that people react so#like it's some sort of moral thing to be against it. Like of course within reason. don't complain to the point that you appreciate#none of the good things around you or like where you start bullying people or something. but broadly speaking. being able to express your#concerns and thoughts in small bursts easily and openly and release some of that tension is better than just holding onto it all and having#it come out larger later or making you internally miserable or etc.. ANYWAY.. yeaghh.. hate heat.. hopefully done with painting soon.etc.#daily log
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1980ssunflower · 11 months
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AOUHHHHHHHHHHHHH
#f/o:💖what a fool believes🎸#tape entry circa 1980#im so overcome by my feelings for my ryan...#oh my baby... my pretty baby boy mi principe...#my heart feels so full looking at him...#how can a man be so fucking beautiful... im getting all emotional#oh my baby my baby mi bebe mi vida...#i cant take it#i need to cup his cute little face in my hands#feel his soft skin under my fingertips and brush his pretty brown hair behind his ears#i want to feel the shiny plastic of his glasses as i push his hair behind his ear#i want to look into his gorgeous dark brown eyes and see how they sparkle when they look into mine <33#see the way his lips quiver as i move so close where he can feel my breath against him#i want to feel how he grabs onto my shirt and melts against me already surrendering himself to me completely#just wanting me close to him just wanting me to touch him#wanting to feel the warmth of the love and adoration he knows i give him#i want for us to just kiss deep and passionately laying together in bed until its been long enough for them to have become slow and soft#our limbs tangled into eachother as we just desperately cling onto one another#i want to nuzzle my face against his... and i want him to do the same#i want to hear him giggle as he cuddles me and gets himself as comfy as he can as he sighs against my neck#his warm soft breathe tickling me and making me laugh softly as i pet his hair#i want to feel ryan trace invisible things onto my skin as we talk abt anything and make stupid jokes where we end up laughing together#falling off the bed and just staying like that as we just keep laughing and poking at eachother#min just walks in like what the fuck are you guys doing ghfdjk#siiigh i miss my ryan so so much...
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vvanessaives · 2 years
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sorry this turned into a fenix love blog but
it’s the whatever tf sectoral eye color i gave him for me. it’s the very slightly freckled nose for me.
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ofgentleresolve-a · 2 years
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👍 😉 💯 👠 for Patrick! (Is someone going to take notes...pERHAPS IWUHEDUEHD, ALSO I hope this didn't get send more than once, dumblr's glitching on me IUWHEIDHWDE but if it did, I apologize! HOPE THESE ASKS ARE OK BUT PLS FEEL FREE TO SKIP ANY YOU'D LIKE! Have a great day, Ferre! :D)
time to put my muses on blast ( ft. sex+romance headcanons meme w/ @jeoseungsaja )
👍 Does my muse prefer to be asked on a date, or would they rather do the asking?
mmmm considering that he did the asking when it came to felicity, i do think he's more than comfortable with taking the initiative with starting a relationship if he has SOME INKLING that his feelings are reprociated. that being said if we're talking with regards to hyuk though, he would a hundred percent not mind if hyuk does the asking as well considering that a. by then these feelings have gone unspoken for so long, by the time they get to that point, everyone else is probably like 'it's about f-ing time' JFKLSJDFKLJ and b. well it's his best friend, how can he be upset about the way it unfolds?
😉 was answered, but lemme embarrass him some more ( for hyuk :D ) 😉 What are my muse’s fetishes/kinks?
JFKSLDJFLJ ALRIGHTY THEN ALEX, so you know he probably likes teasing and edging his partner, has great patience(tm) and would love to see how much he can get away with before they snap and drag him somewhere ( all consensual tho- if they're not comfortable with the teasing he'll stop no questions asked ) but for the most part, he is rather more on the vanilla side, less likely to be pushing for him and his partner to explore new forms of intimacy....he does like the idea of body worshipping his partner though, kissing all the parts he thinks need the most affection ( ie. the scars- yes, this applies to both verses :D )....and considering that he is a literary professor i feel like?? he'd be really good at sending dirty texts? but like classy raunchy texts and best part is that it can be done in public and no one would know for the better...JFKSLDJFL
okay, i just realized i talked about what he would like to do to his partner, but not necessarily what he would want done to him 😂 does this surprise me? no not at all considering that patrick tends to be the kind of person to think more about what can he do for his partner first than what can his partner do for him in bed, but honestly, if you make him feel wanted, loved, and safe ( esp. in black knight verse- he might get teary if you do that bc he hasn't felt that way in YEARS, it's really all about the emotional vulnerability here :'D ), that's all he needs to be content....also let him hold you in the aftermath, he's all for cuddling ( and cuddle him too he would like that even if he's not the best at asking for it PLEASE )
💯 What is my muse’s ideal date?
hmmmmm, as much as he does like books, i wouldn't say necessarily going to a bookstore simply bc?? he can already do that in his freetime and plus i think he would want to do something that's more interactive with his partner...i feel like he'd be big on window shopping simply because there's always something to comment on while looking around....he also likes the idea of going to the beach even if it is on a cloudy cold day. perhaps a good balance between these two would be walking on the boardwalk then??
in black knight verse, patrick's a lot quieter and exhausted so i feel like any activity that doesn't involve too much moving around or too much convo would be ideal for him....feed the pigeons with him. or take him somewhere where he can forget about his worries for a little bit ( the beach is a great starting point ) 🥲
👠 What was my muse’s last serious relationship like?
it was with felicity!! it was incredibly loving and sweet and not mention playful too...the two of them were always bantering/playing some kind of prank on each other...it was a bit like a competition in that manner too 🥲 that's probably the most openly playful patrick's ever been through out his life as felicity really opened him up and not to mention, helped him loosen up too. so when she passed away, he shut that side down real quick....got ten times more serious in the immediate aftermath 🥲
and because i feel like exposing patrick some more:
🍬 Is my muse a sub, dom, or switch?
in this house we switch or die- just kidding! although seriously, i do think he is a switch in that he's more than happy to go with whatever his partner wants to do ( for example, felicity tends to be more vocal and gungho about what she wants in bed and therefore he tended to be more submissive/a service top ) BUT also i do think once he gets familiar with his partner, once he knows what he wants, he will go for it :D it's really up to his partner though ( basically hyuk what r ur preferences, patrick would like to kno so he can make them happen- jskldfjsl )
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theloveinc · 1 year
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read so many books as a kid that i basically taught myself how to write... and now i always run into the exact same problem in every single writing class i’m ever in, which is that.... i genuinely want someone to pLEASE teach me how to write using a formula😔😔😔😔😔😔😔and no one ever will :((( 
like... i don’t wanna write conceptual, interesting, thematic, literary short stories ... i wanna write janet evanovich style harlequin fanfictions. that’s IT. 
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