#can i stop existing for a while'

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

helloooo my dearest darling listeners, i am back on my soapbox to regale you all with the marvelous things i witnessed/experienced on my Whimsical As Fuck™️ three hour drive today. not necessarily in order <3

some cute does with bigass floppy ears / very sweet waitress who called me "hon" and put the most tasty looking crepes on my table / a pair of hawks divebombing a golden eagle / a kite (the bird) / a flock of magpies / some GORGEOUS scenery / a rainbow / lovely rain sprinklings / MORE gorgeous scenery, i mean what the fuck / fields of purple/orange/red tipped bushes / a meadow of buttercup-yellow very tall grass, in which many picturesque trees stood / lots of fluffy, adorable, tasty cows / a large herd of likely-feral horses with a wonderful variety of patterns & colors / the fluffiest husky ever / the juxtaposition of cold wind through an open window + warm sunlight / the most stunning snow-coated mountain of whites and blues in the sun, wreathed in clouds / no seriously some really fucking Gorgeous scenery, i was near tears with some of it

#i am feeling. Better Than I Have In A While #you know! last night i was very unhappy that i would have to do this drive! #but after my 2 hour doze in the ihop parking lot #and a nice breakfast of crepes and tea w/ my book #i was feeling better and decided Fuck It. im gonna make myself enjoy this drive #im gonna take my goddamn time and really absorb my surroundings #by fuck i will stop at a rest stop and take a walk! and i did all of it! #life is actually worth it! glad to have continuous confirmation of that #its so nice to drive and actually see things #beautiful landscapes... wildlife... Geography... #instead of just Flat. Scrub. Brown. More Scrub. Dirt. Dead Scrub aka Tumbleweed. Boring Brown Hills. No Weather. #i can go outside the clouds are Full and the air is Fresh and birds are Singing and i am Alive #absolutely unprompted #i expect the feeling of realness to fade soon but i will enjoy it while it lasts! #and maybe if i feel it often enough it will outlast the disconnect! #now i think i am going to treat myself to a pork bun i just bought & get one of the nice beers from the garage #ive Earned It! #you all treat yourself to something you like as well. we have all earned it simply by existing! #you're here today! Yippee! indulge! #im feeling so fucking whimsical today... ill go work on setting up my extra monitor and figuring out how the fuck that works! #my mic has already arrived! i have hope that i will do a test stream Soon!

[blaiddraws]

Whumptober day 16: Mind Control

admittedly this one is majorly Not Canon to the fulcrum au, which I've been trying Not to do. but i love cool neon aesthetics i cannot deny this.

how would this even happen? not a clue.

anyway. red chain + legendaries = Not Fun Times for all parties involved

#i'm pinning this because i think it looks cool #whumptober2022 #no.16 #mind control #ingo #fulcrum au #submas #pokemon #ALSO vaguely inspired by the fic Behind the Guise of Silver Eyes. which i think about so much #if only because twin dragons au ingo and the red chain #ALSO. THAT BEING SAID. while idk how specifically it would happen it. would Not be because of volo #literally what reason would he have for that especially at the point in time where the red chain exists and is whole. #<- vaguely tired of immediate villainization of volo where he's just mean and evil (especially to the train men??) for literally no reason #or reasons that are just. wildly ooc. i admit i love that weird little guy #i say vaguely tired because I'm not like. trying to stop people from posting their own takes #because everyone has the right to have said takes. but also. i personally try to have high standards for characterization #also (JOKING) my takes and opinions are always the best and are the only opinions ever #but yeah. it's not any of my business to tell people what they can and cannot post but i also have specific standards #for stuff i make and consume #unintentional ramble in the tags. whoopsies #ANOTHER ADDENDUM. i drew the red chain like that because i didnt wanna do all the individual links lol #eyestrain #twin dragons au #might as well add that one too

[boygirltreehouse]

I'll never be over the fact that being batman it GYAHHHH! so when bruce becomes batman and makes his vow to get justice for gotham, to make it so that no one else has to experience the devastation and loss he did the night he lost his parents- being batman means well his job, his mission requires overexposure to death crime and tragedy in order for him to prevent it, and like yeah he never truly ever left crime alley, but that wound is constantly being ripped open. Every person, every ally, every one of HIS KIDS especially that he loses in pursuit of this mission makes the injury new and fresh and red.

this isn't news of course but everytime it hits me that because batman is built on grief he's destined to do it forever I just ☹️☹️

#had the very unoriginal experience of listening to i bet on losing dogs while thinking abt batman and his kids #bruce you are the embodiment of that quote abt not loving wisely #batman #bruce wayne #thought bubbles #the haunted house #batman is such an old concept such an old idea #hes been doing this going through this for so long and not stopping anytime soon #batman functions the same way gods do in a lot of media where as above so below like the people and what they believe shape the entity #dc comics can do whatever they want change in any possible way they can make his character unrecognizable #it doesn't change the fact that when bruce is eight years old he watchs his parents get shot in an alley way and Something Else is born #bcs thats the story everyone literally almost everybody in the world knows one way or another #and thats the way batman will always exist in the global consciousness #haaaa #dc comics

[pansyfemme]

youd think that my housemates would think that yelling loudly at their video games at 1am on a school night might be impolite. you’d think

#at least they’ve seemed to have stopped making fun of me loudly when i can clearly hear them #turns out going to housing and reporting the death threat one of them made against me worked. funny #i need to get out of this fucking place #i have everyone official on my side and im waiting for further action to be taken and to have a convo about all the harassment ive been #facing in this dorm but its kind of killing me a little bit #i hate being scared to be out in the common area or kitchen while all they do is laugh at the stupid trans freak who dares to exist

[thwackk]

can we have a moment of silence for scott pls. he’s not dead or anything, i just miss him

#scott is actually the most important significant and impactful comic book character to ever exist of all time forever actually #im serious #it’s just a fact #dc #scott free #sorry im thinking abt him while procrastinating #i couldn’t stay focused if my life depended on it #mister miracle #i would kiss him on the lips if he wasnt married to someone who can and will rip me apart #i would kiss barda too for the record #let the record show that i would kiss them BOTH on the lips if given the chance #the only difference is that i could take scott in a fight but not barda #completely unrelated but i also cant stop thinking abt phantom of the opera and how life changing watching that show actually is #but that’s a conversation for another time

[rascheln]

tbh I find posts that describe Laois' influence on Falin's life as a 'burden' or something she was forced into pretty patronizing of Falin and ignorant of her own motivations and growth as a character. And it also comes across as blaming Laios for the way she grew up, when I don't think either of them had that much agency in their lives and it also suggests an intentionality that we can be pretty sure was not there.

#dungeon meshi #maybe that's just the posts I've seen but like... as much as you can analyze what specific things influenced her life the language used #to talk about Laois' influence is often loaded with this assumed intentionality or like ppl are putting the blame on him #in a way that I find really doesn't reflect on how the circumstances around them were affecting both of them. #these two characters didn't exist in a vacuum. and also the way their surroundings affected Laios is very different from Falin! #to the point that if you want to talk about how HE affected HER you kinda can't ignore where his character comes from. #not to mention that a lot of these posts seem to willfully ignore that while yes she acknowledged herself that she was heavily influenced by #others around her... it's also really important to not ignore that she very much DID make a lot of important choices out of free will #feelings of obligation of course also affected those choices but like. she wasn't forced. even when she was limited in her options #she still had agency and choices and she very much always had a mind of her own even if she was gentler about it!! #stop fucking acting like Falin was some passive poor girl lol

[c0l0re]

Being bigender while also not giving a single fuck about the gender binary is honestly such a combo

Yes, I am both a man and a woman at the same time. No, these two things are not at odds with each other. Yes, I still manage to be genderqueer in both directions. I wear skirts and dresses while being a man and I wear men's clothes and work to deepen my voice while being a woman

I may have two genders, but that sure as hell doesn't mean I'm gonna be using either of them correctly

#bigender #transgender #trans #multigender #genderqueer #gnc #gender nonconforming #colore speaks #the longer im alive as a trans person the more i learn to love being trans and accept myself as such #i love my transness even if other people can can assholes about it #thats a them problem. it has nothing to do with me just existing as a multigender person #transphobes are idiots. it doesnt matter #ill never be totally accepted by them no matter what i do so i simply stopped trying and i have never been more confident in my body #my young trans self who was so terrified of never being loved while being trans would be ecstatic about this i think #it makes me a little emotional to think about

[jangmi-latte]

WHAT IF I FALL FOR FLOYD WHAT THEN HUH

#his unpredictable-ness is oddly attractive 😭 #wait...it's making sense now WHAT #IT'S JUST WHEN HE FLUCTUATES HIS VOICE DEPENDING ON HIS MOOD #AND HE ✨ COOKS ✨ #i like a man who cooks because i like cooking too bUT WHAT #leaning on the counter beside you while you try chopping for the first time and he's just watching AH #i'm breaking my MIND this is not normal #OR WHEN HE JUST HOLDS YOUR HAND TO ASSIST YOU IN CHOPPING AND HE JUST FOIAWJHNOJEHSDNF BITS YOUR EAR GOODNIGHT #wait no STOP #he can strangle me 😭😭😭 in what way i shall not mention #HE CAN ALSO PLAY INSTRUMENTS AND YOU HAVE THIS ODD TRUST IN HIM DESPITE HIM BEING ECCENTRIC #LIKE LIKE YOU CAN BRING HIM TO GROCERIES AND HE'LL JUST BOREDLY PUSH THE CART BUT WHEN HE LOOKS AT THE FOOD HE CAN JUST #YOU KNOW #POINT OUT THIS AND THAT #I LIKE ME A SMART MAN #blaire stop you're embarrassing #HE. IS. ALSO. GOOD. WITH. CHILDREN #I REPEAT HE CAN BE GENTLE Y'ALL GET AWAY FROM ME #and he's straightforward WHAIUSJHD SUGAR COATING DOES NOT EXIST WITH HIM #how many times have i edited this to add more tags

[goldenhypen]

i tried. i rlly rlly tried to hold it back but,,,, GUYS IM IN LOVE WITH BEOMGYU 😭😭😭😭😭😭😫😫😭🥹🥹😭🥲🥲😆🫠🫠🤭😭🙄😭😭😭

#SHOW THIS TO JAKE IDC ANYMORE I CANT TAKR OT #IVE BEEN HOLDING IT IN FOR TOO LONG #I CANT TWKE IT ANYMORE #IM GOING FERAL #i never stopped loving him 🥺 #beomgyu is like the ex you never moved on from while jake is the current guy you’re with and it’s so ZkdskndJJjdjs #dk if you can tell but i have a rlly hard time moving on 🫠🫠 #stream deja vu guys #cuz i’ll be busy streaming quarter life 🥲🥲🥹😭😭😭🥹😭🥲🥲 #also this video is for me to play on loop cuz this is literally beomgyu’s best line in all of existence #BIGHIT NEEDS TO GIVE HIM MORE LINES SO MORE PPL CAN LISTEN AND APPRECIATE HIS BEAUTIFUL GORGEOUS JAW DROPPING HEAVENLY VOICE #also yes ik hyuka is in the rest of the audio too ok i just couldn’t cut it off there 😭 #this song is too good T-T #choi beomgyu is too good T-T #em speaks #not enhypen

[clockworkreapers]

What are the main characters canon sexuality’s?? Have they any or is it up to interpretation

Twas from a past pride month I think? Either way here u go. Canonically none of my trolls are like “straight” in the human sense lol they don’t exactly have a concept of it or like most human sexualities due to different social norms and all to them it’s like baseline everything is a valid relationship and any gender expression is also just as valid (why I tend to mark them as masc fem or enby presenting not male or female weird biology headcanon stuff yada yada they are not human) their universes Alternians are more concerned with blood anyways.

Considering quadrants everyone here is technically poly to an extent that’s literally just a cultural thing with seeking out two partners. ANYWAYS.

Sauron is gay he prefers masc romantic partners and he is demi so under the ace umbrella

Falmea is pan and aromantic

Majell is a lesbian she just prefers more fem trolls

Helstm is bi

Then Cybele and Cyrusk are both pan!

#can you tell I am also pan is it that obvious lol #but yeah a lil bit of me of course rubs off on my characters #also while trans and enby trolls exist in Aleph Null it works differently than humans due to the whole biology thing #their gender presentation and how their bodies kinda developed is due to a biological mimic #the gender of their lusus is what like makes them sway to one side or the other #or just stay in between if their lusus isn’t around as much #Majell and Sauron both had lusus issues (Majell was taken away from hers and Sauron’s well… it died) #while they both tilt a bit more center than like super masc or super fem Sauron still prefers He and Majell She #the amount of times they have been mistaken for the opposite gender by people who do not know fantrolls or homestuck smh lol #I’m fine pointing it out tho cuz I don’t think either of them would want a human calling them something they aren’t #I could go on about it so many headcanons about these grey alien dudes ugh delicious #I should stop lol #clock rambles #ask

[coquelicoq]

this epilogue better be damn good. i met my limit for escalations over a thousand pages ago and since then i've just been slogging through waiting for things to stop happening please dear god no more apocalypse battles i beg you. maybe i need to take a break and read a book that has no plot whatsoever as a palate cleanser...but i'm kind of afraid if i stop now i'll never finish. also if i stop now then apparently the world stops existing 🥺 if this story is supposed to make me feel weary and like reading is sort of a curse then it is working lol. but i feel like that is probably not exactly the effect it's going for??

#but maybe it is. because that is kind of how the main character feels about reading at this point? #obviously he has a harder time than me because his story is literally neverending and mine has less than 500 pages left #(which theoretically i could read in a day but i keep zoning out while reading it and leaving to do other things #because i'm so tired of the plot please just stop happening!! please let it be over!!!) #not putting this in any main tags for obvious reasons lol but you can guess what book i'm talking about #i just hope you all know what you're talking about and this is going to be worth it eventually #unreality cw #for the 'world stops existing' part

[theokusgallery]

#if you had any hope nick could ever be redeemable here's your sign that that's just not gonna happen

Bold of you to assume we don't want to make him worse

LMAO that's the spirit

#ask #anon #arsenic #me too anon. me too #my unethical boy... #he hasn't killed anyone or anything in the storyline i have planned out which is a fucking miracle #...in all fairness it's just because i want him to have as much plausable deniability as possible #and yknow. murder makes him undeniably a. murderer #anything he does to sunny is something sunny technically agreed to. i want to keep that a theme #i don't know how to say this in a way that isn't horrible but- #i want people to be able to victim blame sunny in a way that sounds so reasonable they don't realize it's victim blaming. #toying with the idea that sunny is not /at all/ a perfect victim. i like it when you can question the morality of his actions #(instead of having it clear-cut that Nick Is Bad And Sunny Is The Poor Unwilling Victim™) #the perfect victim doesn't exist and i'm kind of tired of seeing that type of abusive relationship be so... black-and-white #most of what i've seen is so over the top and neatly separated into good and bad boxes it doesn't feel real. #in the real world no one's perfect. sunny sure as hell isn't. but while that would make him toxic to anyone who isn't Nick- #-it doesn't mean he's not a victim #(also we all know what happens to domestic abuse victims when they have a cluster b pd. the fuckin. victime-blaming festivals i've seen) #tw victim blaming #i talk so much in tags i have to add trigger warnings about them. i should really stop rambling #rant

[simcardiac-arrested]

as a russian who doesn't talk to russian people online what the shit is happening there hello

look man i myself have put in the effort to Not talk to online russians for like (checks hand) 7 or so years (of course i’ve met some really great ones but this isn’t about them and they probably know it) but i’m sure the community didn’t change much. actually from the glimpses i see it seems to have gotten worse. don’t even get me startedddddd man

#Like okay first we have the misogynist dudebros. not a category exclusive to online russians but #there are so many it’s fucking crazy. homophobic to hell and back and Will hate on you for no reason #alpha male type mfs who hate women but will still harass them because of course they will #the second category of course is weird unironic fujoshis who are also usually proshippers #and they are either 12 (forgivable) or 25 and the thing is you can NEVER tell. But it’s kind of fucked how #acceptable it is to just straight up fetishize gay men (hell probably not only them) in online russian communities #and listen to me. the secret third category is that there is no third category. Both of these categories are racist #deer was right i have never seen a community more racist or xenophobic than fucking online russians #you draw a character one shade darker than their usual skintone and suddenly you got annoying as fuck russians in your comments going #BRO BURNT IN THE SUNNN 🤣🤣🤣 ENGLISH FANDOM LOOK WHAT YOU’VE DONE !!! <- in recent times they have taken to blaming the english fandom for #‘wokefying’ their sacred online russian spaces. Of course we can only be woke enough to fetishize gay men. god forbid black people exist #now the actual third category is the online russian tеrf/radfеm community. it seems recent to me but also as i said i have not really #interacted with russian comminity as a whole for a long while. But yea anyways they’re crazy i dont think i have to explain this one #but they’re somehow more evil and miserable than the ones you’re used to #another recent one is the russian twitterians … i’ve only seen glimpses of them as well as i dont use twitter #but you will not believe the shit these mfs try to pull. They try to get you to stop swearing at all bc they find a way to make every #russian swear word offensive. AND they speak fucking … englussian. rusglish. Half of their sentences are just english words written in #russian letters. all the same buzzwords english speaking twitter users like to say! #if you’ve never seen a russian talk about feminization or gatekeeping or being woke or yadda yadda. Well i have #it’s bad. they’re just very very terminally online #and don’t worry the last two categories will also always be racist/xenophobic even if the last one tries to seem Progressive #don’t know if i missed anytning but those are just the Specific Types of annoying asf online russians that i have noticed and have been #observing from a safe distance like a scientist #my point is keep not talking to russian people #cramswering #edit: I FORGOT BUT DONT EVEN GET ME STARTED ON HOW ONLINE RUSSIANS TREAT TRANS PEOPLE #YOU CANNOT IMAGINE THE WAY THEY REACT TO TRANS HEADCANONS IT’S LIKE THE END OF THE WORLD TO THEM. OR TRANS CHARACTERS #OR GOD FORBID ACTUAL REAL LIFE TRANS PEOPLE. it’s actually quite incredible how bigoted online russians are