#can someone teach me how to do it the keep reading link thing in the middle please

[aphrostarot]

Why Does This Energy Keep Coming Back Into Your Life?

Are there any energies that keep coming back into your life? If so, check out this reading to find out what lessons your guides are trying to teach you by bringing this back over and over again.

As this is a general collective reading, some things may not resonate with you or your situation. DO NOT try forcing it to fit. If you would like to book a personalized reading with me go to my profile and follow the instructions on my pinned post.

If you enjoyed this reading and wanted to support me further you can do so by tipping me in the link in my bio or by booking a personal reading with me.

Pile One:

Who are you?

Eight of Cups, Knight of Wands, and Five of Pentacles:

At your core you are someone who is very adventurous, energetic, and someone who is not afraid to leap into the unknown. You may be known in your circles as someone who has an enthusiastic approach to life. All of this being said though, you are not feeling like this in your current moment in life. You have been down in the dumps, experiencing a significant loss of some sort. You have been feeling lost, stuck in the dark with nowhere to go and this has taken its toll on you. For some of you, you are coming out of this darkness, finding yourself seeking deeper meanings for why you have been so stuck recently. You have abandoned the path you are on and are moving on to a different approach to life, trying to find your inner truth.

What is this energy that keeps coming back?

Four of Wands, Nine of Swords Reversed, and Death:

It seems like the energy that keeps coming back into your life is you finding yourself in a dark place unexpectedly. You will be riding a high in your life, feeling great and appreciating all the good in your life and then the next day you hate everything in your life and can’t seem to get out of a mental slump. For some of you, this could be burnout, but for many of you, this could be a lot of addictive behaviors and mindsets coming back after you thought you overcame them. It’s a constant death cycle you can’t seem to escape. These behaviors and mindsets may revolve around your family or home life. Addictions may run in your family which is why you also struggle, or, there may be a specific mindset or behavior pattern that you learned from your family and can’t seem to escape or unlearn no matter how hard you try.

Why does this energy keep coming back?

Page of Wands, King of Wands, and Six of Cups:

This energy keeps coming back because you are not learning the lesson that it is intended for you to learn. You need to dive into your childhood, look at the darkness you are not addressing, and sit with it. Sit with the discomfort that comes with these dark times. When you sit with these feelings you are forcing yourself to feel them, something you have not done in quite some time. Doing this will allow you to better understand where this darkness stems from so you can make a plan of how you are going to heal. Spirit keeps bringing this energy back to you because they want you to heal, so you can become your best self. If you need help doing this please reach out to a professional, you do not have to do this alone, therapists or counselors are great at helping you navigate hard emotions. With the King of Wands coming out too, this is your guides telling you who your best self is. The King of Wands represents someone who faces any problem in front of them with ease, they are a natural-born leader, someone who commands respect wherever they go. Your guides keep sending you this energy so that once you learn this lesson you will be able to face any problem that comes your way with ease. Know that there is light at the end of this tunnel, all you need to do is face this darkness instead of running from it. You are meant to break the cycles that have been in your family for centuries, let this knowledge guide you.

Advice from spirit on how you should approach this energy:

Ace of Swords Reversed, The Devil Reversed, and Nine of Cups Reversed:

The Ace of Swords coming up reversed means that your thoughts are clouded with confusion and chaos at the moment. This isn’t a good time for you to make any decisions, since you do not have clarity on what you should be doing, which means that the chances of failure are pretty high right now if you were to take any actions. Your guides are saying that it would be better for you to prepare yourself and take baby steps - work methodically as you slowly move towards achieving your goals. This is the perfect time to lay back and rationally think your way through each stage rather than acting on impulse which you are wont to do. They are also telling you that it is a good idea for you to seek advice from a professional since things may not be as they seem in your life currently. The Devil Reversed shows someone at a moment of self-awareness in their lives, they are breaking all of the chains that come with their addictions and poor habits. Your guides are saying that this can be you if you listen to their advice. They are tired of you running in circles and are telling you here, that you need change in your life. They say that breaking off these chains, especially those of addiction, is never easy. So, you need to be prepared to make the necessary changes that might initially seem painful to make the adjustments that will pay off in the end by being able to find your true self again. Self-assessment is called for in this case and you need to take some time and list all of the things that you need to get rid of. And once that has been done, then it will be time for you to embark on the difficult journey of self-improvement. Your path has been a hard one, and you’ve arrived at a period where you may have the appearance of fulfillment, but something else is missing. This may outwardly appear as smugness and can indicate your desire to receive attention and recognition for all that you have achieved. But you personally still feel dissatisfaction in yourself, it seems as though your desires are never-ending, a black hole. Where does this stem from? In what parts of yourself are you lacking confidence? The Nine of Cups reversed shows that it is time for you to stop placing a value on all of your blessings, and instead pay attention to the quality of your life. The true treasures lie in your relationships with those around you.

Bottom of the deck energy:

Page of Cups Reversed:

The Page of Cups reversed shows someone who is struggling. Someone who is afraid to face reality, be it emotional, financial, or some kind of illness. You may be escaping your reality by drinking, or using drugs, this is only making it harder for you to face yourself and your guides are sick of you ignoring your problems and are forcing this energy back into your life so you can learn to live a healthier lifestyle.

Some of you may be drawn to the colors; purple, blue, and pink.

I was getting strong pulls toward negative behaviors while pulling for this pile. Many of you may be struggling with addictions, including addictive behaviors and mindsets.

One of the candles I had lit stayed lit even when there was nothing left to burn. This tells me that many of you may be running on fumes, or could be someone who never gives up, no matter how low you go, you always pick yourself back up and keep going.

There was lots of Taurus energy with this pile so, many of you may have significant Taurus placements in your chart.

Wands represent the fire signs in astrology, so, many of you could be a fire sign, Aries, Leo, or Sagittarius, or could have significant fire sign placements.

Extended Reading (how can you learn these lessons and release this energy?)

Pile Two:

Who are you?

Nine of Coins, Four of Cups Reversed, The World, and Page of Swords:

You have reached an ending of some sort in your life. There has been a completion of a cycle that you have been living through for quite some time now. I feel as though many of you may not outwardly be aware that there is a completion happening in your life but, you feel it happening. There have been some internal shifts happening in you recently. Your outlook on life has changed, you have now started to see the world around you through a different lens and you are experiencing a spark of inspiration and joy you haven’t felt for quite some time. You are excited to jump into this new journey in life, looking forward to all the new things that are soon to be coming in. Many of you enjoy the finer things in life, enjoying a more luxurious lifestyle no matter how much money you have. Due to this lifestyle you chose to live in, you may struggle a great deal in life, struggling to make ends meet, struggling to feel satisfied with what you have. Whatever it may be, it seems to me this mindset may be the thing that will be changing for many of you. For some of you even, it may be that you will be changing your current mindset to start to appreciate the finer things in life if you currently do not allow yourself that luxury.

What is this energy that keeps coming back?

Knight of Coins Reversed, Judgment, The Emperor, The Tower Reversed:

It seems like the energy that keeps coming back into your life is you feeling like there is a crisis or some sort of disaster looming when there may actually not be one. You may be someone who likes having a routine but at the same time, you also get bored of the same thing very quickly. So, when you start to feel like you want to switch things up and try something new all of a sudden you get anxious, feeling like you just screwed everything up and you did something wrong. You fear change yet desire it at the same time which brings you to this energy that keeps coming back of you preparing yourself for the worst and expecting some sort of disaster to come in because you jumped the gun and made a spontaneous change. This leads to you overworking yourself, and making spontaneous decisions because during these moments you lack self-control. You are living in a constant state of survival during these times, not actually living your life only making decisions that you feel will protect you from this unavoidable doom that may not even be coming. Then all of a sudden it’s like the veil of confusion and fear that you’ve been living in gets lifted and you realize that you were living in a state of fear, letting your anxieties dictate your life. Then, you start to reflect on why this happens to you, trying to psychoanalyze yourself to hopefully get to the bottom of this so you can stop it from happening again, yet it never happens and this cycle keeps repeating itself.

The energy that keeps coming back into your life is very confusing and I tried my best to articulate it less confusingly. If you have any questions feel free to comment or DM me and I will try my best to answer them.

Why does this energy keep coming back?

Five of Swords Reversed, Five of Cups Reversed, Eight of Coins, and Ace of Wands:

The reason your spiritual team keeps bringing this energy back into your life is that there is something good coming out of it, yet you do not see that. There is something in your past that you have been feeling guilty or beating yourself up over. You have been struggling with this since it happened and you refuse to allow yourself to feel anything good because you feel you deserve to suffer because of whatever it is that you did. Now, this energy coming back is your guides wanting you to forgive yourself and heal but you are not seeing that. Your spiritual team wants you to start over and have a new more focused and inspired approach to life, but first, you need to forgive yourself and address whatever it is you are punishing yourself for.

Advice from spirit on how you should approach this energy:

Three of Coins Reversed, Eight of Cups, The Wheel of Fortune, and Six of Cups:

You’ve been feeling quite bitter in your life recently and your guides want you to see the beauty and goodness everywhere around you. They want you to challenge yourself by stepping out of your comfort zone. There is change coming in your life and this change will hopefully result in you leaving this negative mindset behind and embracing the positives around you. You have been feeling lost in your life and not recognizing that there are people in your life who are trying to help you. You have shut the door in many people's faces, refusing to believe they have good intentions, and to this, your guides are saying stop. Your guides have sent you a person or a few people who you need to stop shutting out in order to get you out of this darkness.

Bottom of the deck energy:

Nine of Swords:

The nine of swords is the card of intense anxiety. When it comes out in a reading, especially at the bottom of the deck, it represents mental anguish, nightmares, and excessive worry. It comes out in a reading when your anxiety has been at its worst. This has been the thing that has kept you in this darkness, refusing to forgive, refusing to heal. You need to do some self-reflection, and some calming and grounding exercises. Doing this will help you to see the reality instead of your anxieties. Some of you may need to speak to a professional to help you do this, whether it be a psychologist, therapist, counselor, or psychiatrist, please reach out to someone if you need help with your anxieties.

Some of you may be drawn to the color yellow.

There were a lot of reversals with this pile, so, many of you may be feeling like your life has been flipped upside down, or you may be feeling lost currently.

I was feeling strong unevolved Libra energy with this pile. So, many of you could be Libras or have significant Libra placements.

Extended Reading (how can you learn these lessons and release this energy?)

Pile Three:

Who are you?

Balance, Rebirth, and Messenger of Air:

You are an eternal optimist, believing that anything is possible as long as you put your mind to it. Finding balance within yourself is key to your joy and sense of peace. Speaking of peace, keeping yours is very important to you, and you will do anything to protect it. For most people, it can be difficult to let go of the past, or dreams that haven’t come true, or love that is no longer in our lives, but for you, this comes easily. You are not afraid to let things go if it means that you will come out better and healthier than before. You take pride in being able to live in a balanced and healthy state, and this is something that is admirable to the people around you.

What is this energy that keeps coming back?

Ace of Water, Craftsman of Air, and Three of Water:

There are moments in your life when you become filled with uncertainty and confusion. It's almost as if you are totally fine one minute and then the next you have a fog covering your brain and eyes and you get stuck as a result, not knowing what to do and why you are so confused about where you are in life. While you are in this brain fog, a great deal of emotions you had thought you’d dealt with come rising to the surface, forcing you to feel things you didn’t know you’d not dealt with. As a result of you being forced to feel these things, you become obsessed with trying to find a way to stop this from happening, studying therapy and meditation techniques trying to keep your peace maintained. Meanwhile, you are unaware that doing all of this is actually not helping you at all, which is why this energy keeps coming back into your life when you thought you’d already dealt with it.

Why does this energy keep coming back?

Two of Water, Ancestor, and Nine of Air:

As I established above, you are very proud of yourself and the ways in which you chose to heal and live your life. However, with the energy that your guides keep sending back, it seems to me that they are not happy with the ways that you choose to live. They are saying that you need a change in your life, a death cycle of some sort, and this death has to do with the cycles you keep repeating in your healing journey. They are saying to you that the ways you choose to heal are actually repetitive cycles that have been running through your ancestry for years and years and that they are not as healthy as you think they are. You need to address these issues and patterns you repeat when you try to deal with the problems as they arise. See these unconscious patterns from your childhood, the ways you cope with the traumas and sorrows you inherited from your parents, who inherited it from theirs.

Advice from spirit on how you should approach this energy:

Ace of Air, Four of Fire, Ten of Fire, and Messenger of Earth:

Your guides are advising you to slow down and listen. There are answers coming your way and all you need to do is listen for them. You have a strong intuition and psychic abilities but you are either unaware of this or just don’t tap into them enough, it is time that you do. You need security and peace in your home life and your guides want that to be your focus at the moment. Make sure you are intentionally getting rid of negative energy in your house, smoke cleansing with incense will work well for you during this time. Make sure you are aware of the energies you are allowing into your home at this time. Your home is your sanctuary and when you allow people with negative energy into your home you are tainting the sanctuary you so desperately need to protect.

Bottom of the deck energy:

Six of Water:

In all tarot readings, the bottom of the deck energy gives you the overall energy of the reading. Having the Six of Water at the bottom is telling you that you need to dive deep in order to get through this. You cannot redirect the river of Life. Instead, plunge in, surrender to it, dissolve in it, and allow the “molecules” of your expectations, plans, and intentions to mix with the waters flowing all around you. Let go and let your heart become a vessel of understanding. Let it hold the memories of your life of all life. To remember, you must allow the waters of life to flow through you. Begin now - fill the waters of your life with stories.

There is strong earth and water energy with this pile so, many of you may have earth (Taurus, Virgo, Capricorn) and water (Pisces, Cancer, Scorpio) signs or have these significantly placed in your chart.

Some of you may also be drawn to the colors, blue or green, mainly green.

Many of you may be drawn to water or trees.

Extended Reading (how can you learn these lessons and release this energy?)

Pile Four:

Who are you?

The World, Eight of Wands, and Knight of Wands Reversed:

There is some contradiction in who you are at this moment. What I mean by this is, at your core, you are someone who is well-balanced and has great control over your emotions as well as being very optimistic in life. However, it seems as though recently you have been more erratic, aggressive, and quite sensitive. You’ve been quick to jump down people's throats before giving them time to explain themselves. Lately, you haven’t been acting like your calm, cool, and mature self. Instead, you’ve been unrecognizable in your emotional outbursts. Some of you may know what has triggered this in you, while others have no clue why you are acting this way.

What is this energy that keeps coming back?

Four of Cups Reversed, Three of Wands Reversed, Ten of Wands, and Page of Cups Reversed:

You have reached completion of some sort, whether it be that you’ve recently graduated from college and are looking or just got a new job, starting your career off, or you just moved out of your family home and are taking on much more responsibilities than you had in the past. Whatever it is, this energy that keeps coming back is you overburdening yourself with too many responsibilities and then becoming blocked emotionally, and physically because of it. It’s like you were loving life and being hyper-successful one minute and then the next, you’re overworked, drained, and stuck in a never-ending cycle of lacking inspiration. For some of you, it may be that you start to despise the work you are doing or start to realize how you are underappreciated at work or in life and this causes you to become depressed. Either way, it seems as though the energy that keeps coming back ends up with you being stuck in darkness when you used to live in the light.

Why does this energy keep coming back?

Seven of Pentacles Reversed, Five of Pentacles Reversed, Six of Wands, and Eight of Pentacles:

Ultimately your guides are telling you that this energy keeps coming back because you have been putting too much emphasis on getting recognized for your achievements and being rewarded for your work when you really should be just focusing on the work and not the reward. They keep bringing this energy back to you so you can start to realize that you may be doing this job or hobby or hanging around these people for the wrong reasons. You want people to recognize how good you are and to praise you for these things and that is not the reason why you should be working or hanging around people. Success comes when you work hard and have your head in the game. So, your guides are trying to tell you here that to get what you want you need to make changes, you need to come at this with a different approach.

Advice from spirit on how you should approach this energy:

Four of Wands, The Fool, Ace of Wands, and Judgement:

Before this new beginning can come in, you need to do some self-evaluation. Really dig deep, and find out why you want this success and recognition. What is it feeding in you? It may have something to do with your home life, how you were raised, or the way your family treated you growing up. You will also need to evaluate if these things you are going after are things you truly want or, do you just think you want them to feel success and admiration. Once you do this you will need to come at your career and life overall from a new, clean slate. A whole new approach is needed for you to reach the goals you truly want.

Bottom of the deck energy:

Queen of Wands Reversed:

You have been in a low place overall in your life for some time now. You’ve been letting your insecurities control your life and the decisions you make. Because of this you’ve been very short-tempered and tend towards bullying either the people around you or yourself. You demand way too much of the people around you and of yourself and this is not a good place to be in. You know this, as I established above, this is not who you truly are at your core, you are a nice and gentle soul who loves life and loves people but, recently you have been showing a much darker and much more insecure version of yourself that needs to be dealt with for you to reach fulfillment.

There was very cutesy energy with this pile. It's almost like that sound on TikTok, “Looks like they could kill you, is a cinnamon roll” and, “Looks like a cinnamon roll, is a cinnamon roll” Some of you may hide your cutesy energy as a defense mechanism while others are more confident in themselves and aren’t afraid to be themselves.

The color pink, specifically baby pink may be of significance to some of you.

There was a lot of Pisces and Cancer energy with this pile, specifically unevolved Pisces and Cancer energy. A lot of you may be afraid of your emotions, afraid to feel, or you may see yourself as weak when you are emotional. There is also some Aries energy here, but very little, almost like you are a Pisces or Cancer with an Aries moon or other placements in Aries.

Extended Reading (how can you learn these lessons and release this energy?)

#pick a pile #pick a card #tarot readings #tarot #oracle readings #oracle #divination #astrology #aphrostarot #aries #taurus #cancer #gemini #leo #libra #aquarius #pisces #capricorn #scorpio #virgo #sagittarius

[duckprintspress]

Fandom 101: Getting Started on Fanlore.org

Not long ago, we at Duck Prints Press decided that we’d like the Press to have a page on Fanlore. To accomplish that, Press contributor Shea Sullivan made an account and figured out the nuts and bolts on how to add pages to Fanlore. Turns out, it’s not very hard, and now in this guest blog post, Shea will teach y’all how to do it too!

Making Your First Fanlore Page!

Hello! I am an editor on Fanlore as of a few days ago. Before that, I’d worked with mediawiki (the open source platform Fanlore uses) for unrelated projects, so I had a general understanding of how things worked, but no idea how Fanlore preferred their pages to be formatted or organized or linked.

This is how I got started!

First: What is Fanlore and Why Should You Care?

Fanlore is a wiki specifically dedicated to the fandom experience. It’s not for canon info about a specific fandom; rather, it’s for information about how fans interact with media and each other. Fanlore is run by the OTW, the same organization that brings us our beloved AO3. This context helped me in understanding the focus of Fanlore. It’s about fandom: the ups, the downs, the trends, the drama…all the things that can get lost forever when sites disappear or there’s a purge. And that said…well, you may still not care. But if you do, read on!

Second: You Care. Now What?

(read more)

Get an account. Right now. It’s worth getting the account, because you won’t be able to create new pages for a few hours. So, get the account first, figure out what to do with it later.

Go to fanlore.org and click on “Create Account” in the upper right-hand corner:

Third: You Have the Power (Soon)!

Read up! No need to invent the wheel in this post – they’ve got some great resources for getting started already written on their webpage.

Fanlore Getting Started Page

General Help Pages on Fanlore

Four hours after you create your account, you can create pages! Congrats! There are a ton of help pages out there, but the questions I had initially were:

How do I make sure this page doesn’t exist already?

Search. Search for the page. Search for key phrases associated with the page. A page name is a fiddly thing, so search for significant phrases in a few different ways before you determine it doesn’t exist. Always make sure you check before you set out to create page!

How do I add this page?

If it’s not there, you’ll see it come up in red when you search. Type the page name you want to create in the search bar. Click “Search” to get all the results, and then click on that red link.

How do I format this page?

You now have an empty page. When I was getting started, my big question was: what should my page look like? Well, Fanlore has templates that can help with that! The templates are in a markup language, but do not fear! Copy and paste the template (everything in the blue box on the template page, typically starting with curly braces), make some updates, and click “Preview.” You can repeat those steps indefinitely until you get the hang of the markup. There’s also a ton of information on the Fanlore.org cheatsheet. (If you’re still confused, keep reading, there’s more specifics under the infobox section.)

Once you have the page created and published, you can edit it without the markup language if you prefer – there’s “Edit,” which gives you a non-code-based option, and an “Edit Source” button, which gives you the code-based option.

If your proposed page topic doesn’t have an official template created for that topic, you can look up similar pages and see how they’re structured.  If you’re not sure how they managed to make something look a certain way, click the “Edit Source” button and look at the code there to get a sense of what they did. Be sure to cancel out of the edit when you’re done so you don’t make unintentional changes to someone else’s page! Some pages are locked down (like the template pages) so you can’t make edits, but most “normal” pages will have those links at the top so you can dig in and see what’s there and how the people who wrote that page made it look the way it does.

How do I add an infobox?

Those infoboxes on the right of a lot of pages give a quick overview of important information. These are templates, and you can find a list of available infobox templates here.

The templates, when you click into them, have a heading and some info that you can fill in. You can’t remove items from the template without making a new template, which I don’t recommend trying when you’re getting started. Use the template, fill in the information, and mark “N/A” if you don’t have information to insert in a specific field. A sample template for an infobox looks like this, and you fill in information after each “equals” sign. You can add a list, and you can add links to these after the equals sign using the markup for internal and external links on the Cheatsheet.

{{FanProfile |name=  |alias(es)= |type= |fandoms= |communities= |other= |url= }}

If you’re still confused, let’s go to Astolat’s fan page and click “Edit Source” and see how the infobox looks behind the scenes:

See how everything that was in the original template is still there, there’s just a list of information after the equals sign?

And here’s how it looks formatted:

How do I categorize this page?

Categories are important because they help Fanlore’s back-end coding group pages together so people can find the page you’ve created and so the page is in the right place in the site map. If you can’t figure it out, though, don’t worry, there are people who will find it and take care of it!

If you have an infobox from a template, this is taken care of. 

If you didn’t use an infobox template, you can add a Category to index the page.

Finding a Category can be a little overwhelming. If you have an example page (another page that contains the same type of content as yours), you can scroll to the bottom of that page and see what Category has been assigned to it. You can add that Category to your page by editing the source and adding that category into your page at the bottom with 2 square brackets, like this: [[Category:YourCategory]]

Use “Preview” to make sure you set it up correctly before saving the page.

If you need to find a category and can’t find a good example page, I recommend going to the sitemap, finding what fits your article the best, and clicking into it. Categories are set up in hierarchies, so click through until you find the Category and Subcategory that fits best.

Add it at the very bottom of the page, and it should show up when you preview, at the very bottom of the page.

How do I add those nifty citation references[1]?

Review theFanlore page on citation formatting for details. The basics are:

Add a blank References heading at the bottom of the page.

Add tags and include the source information.

What is the difference between a citation and an external link? Good question! I don’t know for sure, but the way I’ve been using it, if I make a statement about a thing and I want to direct you to the “proof” (article, webpage, etc), I will use a citation. If there is a thing I’m linking to because it is relevant but not as proof of what I’m saying on the wiki, I will add it as an external link.

Fourth: Don’t Worry

You’ll find there are a lot of instances when you might not be sure what the “right” way is to do whatever it is you’re trying to do. Don’t let that stop you! Do a little research, do your best, and be okay with a learning curve.

The thing about wiki editing in general, and this includes Fanlore, is that it’s a community project, and everyone is doing their best. It’s worthwhile to think about trying to make your pages consistent with other pages where you can, because it will help people who are trying to find what you’re providing. So, poke around similar pages first and look for common trends in how they’re organized, and mimic that for your own page.

All that said, there is very little hierarchy in editors and few rules set in stone. It’s a community site put together by volunteers. You may find that you’ve labeled, referenced, cited, categorized, etc, a page incorrectly, or that you added a page that was already there under another name, or you may have put in a canon page when that’s really not what Fanlore is for. No problem! A page can be reverted to a previous version. It can be removed by a “Gardener” (higher-level editor), or edited by someone else who is more familiar with the inner wiki workings, or you can even tweak it yourself when you learn a better ways to code the page. 

There is always a path forward, so get in there and get started!

Happy creating, happy fandom, and welcome!

GO VISIT FANLORE NOW!

#duck prints press #resources #tutorials #otw #ao3 #fanlore #fanlore.org #how to #fandom #fandom wiki

[dialovers-lover-xoxo]

Ruki's Relationship Alphabet!

Sakamaki Brothers linked at the end!

Under a cut cuz it's long

I hope you enjoy! ❤️

--------------------------------------------------------

A - Activities (What activities do you do as a couple with him?)

Ruki enjoys reading together by the fire, kind of like a book club. You read the same chapter using the same book or separate books and then discuss. If you're sharing a book he'll seat you on his lap. He's very reserved with PDA but only the physical kind like kissing or being in his lap. He also teaches you how to ride a horse and you do that together. Even when it's a busy day, he makes time to hold and kiss you at night.

B - Beauty (What physical attribute do they admire about you?)

Ruki likes your face but can restrain from staring. He enjoys touching your hair and plays with it when you're sitting on his lap. He likes your legs and enjoys touching your waist and hips.

C - Comfort (How would they comfort you when you're upset or having a panic attack?)

Ruki handled it surprisingly well. He does the basic shushing noises and suggest you rest but listens and takes note of what you tell him will work and help. He'll calmly get rid of anything he thinks may cause you unease.

D - Dreams (Do they picture a future with you? If so, what does that future look like?)

Oh yes, absolutely. Obviously there's the whole Adam and Eve thing, but in general he likes the idea of a simple and domestic life. After being spoiled growing up he saw that he prefers to keep what he loves close and not be materialistic or over-flashy. He wants a marriage, kids, and his brothers close, all in one mansion.

E - Equal (Are they dominating/dominant in the relationship or passive?)

Ruki is incredibly dominant. Even in a true romantic relationship that will not change. He might occasionally enjoy you being a cheeky, but he will not tolerate what he sees as disrespect or disobedience.

F - Fight (Do they forgive easily? How do they fight?)

Ruki is a prideful man, but notably in later games, he can admit when he's gone too far. Apologizing isn't easy for him and you'd probably have to reach out first but amends will be made. He does not yell or throw or hit. But his low voice still instills fear and it still holds the dominance he's known for.

G - Gratitude (How grateful are they in general? How do they show their gratitude?)

Ruki is a prideful and arrogant man. Gratitude he has is more so being pleased that you're obeying him. He does have gratitude to your love and loyalty and he shows that with reciprocation and thoughtful actions more than he does with words. His words aren't explicit "thank yous" they are "You are what matters to me" and "You have made my life greater"

H - Honesty (Do they share everything with you? If they do keep something from you, why?)

Ruki is an honest man but at the same time he's not above keeping secrets, so long as he believes it's in your best interest or there's simply no reason for you to get involved. He is much more secretive and private regarding Karlheinz.

I - Inspiration (Did they get inspired to change by you? How so?)

Depending on if it's similar to a route where he's no longer loyal to Karlheinz, you've inspired him to remember love and family over all else, and that there are other ways to show appreciation for being alive and safe.

J - Jealousy (Do they get jealous easily? How do they act when they're jealous?)

Not so much jealous as he is simply possessive. Jealousy requires insecurity, a fear that your partner will leave you because they think someone's better. Ruki is certain you love him and are loyal to him, so it's possesiveness more so than it is jealousy. He is very possessive. You generally aren't allowed to talk to other men and your time with women is limited because he simply wants you in his sight at all times. Though he's happy you get along with his brothers and he knows nothing romantic or sexual would ever happen with his brothers and you, in the beginning he didn't like you interacting with them much but now he's fine with and he loves that you're a close family.

K - Kiss (Are they a good kisser? What are their kisses like? What was the first kiss like?)

Oh, yes, he's a very good kisser. Passionate but gentle. He's not a fan of tongue, he considers it sloppy, undignified and just kinda gross. He likes to possesively wrap his arms around your waist or cup your cheek softly. Your first kiss was kind of an experiment for him. He kind of just wanted to kiss you and it was before he had really come to accept romantic feelings.

L - Love Confession (What was their love confession like?)

It was unexpected to both you and him. He didn't blurt it out, he just kinda rambled on about how much he thinks if you and how happy you've made him and how beautiful you are and it just kinda escalated into this long-winded confession of love. He never confessed like "I realized I love you" it was more "You make me feel fulfilled in a way that can only be romantic love."

M - Marriage (Do they want to get married? How would they propose?)

Yes, absolutely. He wants it private so while the two of you tell his brothers the day after (even though they already figured it was coming) it happened in private, like in Ruki's bedroom. On one knee, with a gorgeous ring.

N - Nicknames (What do they call you as a term of endearment? Where did the nickname come from?)

Obviously there's Livestock, but he'll also call you "Love" unless you actually go by a shortened version of your name, he never refers to you by a shortened version of your name.

O - On cloud 9 (What are they like in love? Can other people tell?)

Ruki is a stoic man, but his brothers can tell. Even when he has his cold expression in public, there's a warmth in his eyes when he looks at or talks about you that simply can't be denied. Other people may notice if they pay attention.

P - PDA (Are they shy or upfront about their relationship with you? Will they kiss in public?)

He generally prefers physical PDA to be in private. He doesn't even feel comfortable doing it in front of his brothers, at least not often and not for long. He'll hold your hand and maybe give you a brief possessive kiss.

Q - Quirk (Something random about them that's beneficial in a relationship)

Though he originally did, he grows to not underestimate you. In fact, he has a strong belief in you and trusts you to make decisions, though he trusts himself more and remains pretty controlling

R - Romance (How romantic are they?What is their idea of romance like?)

He is romantic. Jewelry and flowers and always making time for a nice dinner with you. He especially always kisses your hand. Even when he's busy he does small romantic gestures like that.

S - Support (Do they help you reach your goals? Do they believe in you?)

He's very controlling and there will always be a power imbalance because he sees himself as your master, but he can be very supportive and he does truly admire and acknowledge your skills and intelligence so yes.

T - Thrill (Do they like trying new things in a relationship? Or do they prefer routine?)

He likes routine because he simply likes it simple. He's happy with a life with you and his brothers and kids eventually. Maybe a nice honeymoon or vacation for just the two of you.

U - Understanding (How well do they understand you)

He has a very good understanding of you but no one is 100% consistently predictable and because he considers himself to know you perfectly he tends to get more surprised than someone usually would if you act differently due to stress or something like that

V - Value (How important is your relationship to them?)

As important as his brothers. Just like in Dark Fate he originally said you were second to Karlheinz but realized that he was in denial.

W - Wild card (A random fluff headcanon)

He has a really witty sense of humor and loves when you laugh.

X - XOXO (Are they affectionate? Do they like to kiss and cuddle)

Yes, he's a huge snuggler, especially being the big spoon. He also enjoys kissing a lot so he's frequently affectionate.

Y - Yearning (How will they cope when they miss you?)

He's less clingy than other diaboys but there's always a sense of unease when you're not with him. He tries to distract himself or seek comfort in his brothers, mainly Azusa because Azusa is more intuitive and calm about things.

Z - Zeal (Are they willing to go to great lengths for your relationship?)

Yes, without a doubt. Anything.

-----------------------------------------------------

Feedback and reblogs are appreciated! ❤️

#diabolik lovers #diabolik lovers fandom #ruki mukami #mukami ruki #diabolik lovers headcanons #diabolik lovers ruki mukami #diabolik lovers ruki #diabolik lovers mukami #fluff alphabet

[onecupofspiders-please]

Random Astarions hc’s about life together after the adventure

Pronouns: technically none, but the term husband is used and it’s meant for masc readers! But I mostly used second person

TW: none! :]

Type: HC’s!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

-Ok so imagine with me here, imagine after everything that’s happened you and Astarion get a lil house together. Maybe get a cat, maybe you keep scratch too.

-That shit is gone be CROWDED

-Not in a hoarder way (ok maybe a lil-) but in a maximalist way.

-He was never allowed to HAVE things before, what do you expect?

-Books, nicknacks, trinkets (✨a box for my TRINKETS another box for my trinkets what’s going ONNN it’s trinket filled-✨).

-Also colors. Lots of them

-He said something like “when you live in the dark you forget how colorful the world is” at some point and I’m running with that.

-He can’t go out in the sun anymore, can’t see all the color the world has to offer. He can at least fill his shared home with it though

-Carpets, blankets, pillows, curtains. Any oddly colored furniture in the market and he’s giving you those fucking eyes

-You know what I’m talking about. The 🥺

-You always end up getting it (at half price. I think he would be rlly good at bargaining)

-Speaking of-

-You become a frequent customer at the night market now, congrats

-They sell some weird shit there, ngl. But at least you find neat stuff

-But it’s worth it! You get to see ur vampire partner enjoy himself AND not get burned to death! Win win!

-that’s not the only thing you’ve adjusted to fit your lovers schedule either

-you two hang laundry up to dry a little bit before sunrise

-so he can have enough time to get in safely AND so your guy’s clothes don’t just have to sit there all night

-honesty, you’ve kind of just started sleeping during the day

-of course, you can’t do EVERYTHING at night (unless you’re also allergic to the sun. Then disregard)

-so every now and then you go to the REGULAR market, or to a book store, or a bakery

-Godda get that vitamin D man

-I don’t have a transition for this one sorry

-but I think he would call you his husband

-you guys aren’t officially married or anything, but also you’re kind of past that

-and if you respond to it well I think he would call you it more often

-you’re cooking for yourself and he comes up and hugs you from behind (a HUGE fucking step he had to work up to, by the way. But that’s a separate hc)

-and when you ask what’s up he buries his face in your shoulder or rests his chin on ur head and is like

-“just wanted to see my darling husband is all.”

-no Segway for this one either sorry

-but I feel like he picks up and drops a lot of hobbies

-since he’s kind of just now rediscovering himself as a person

-I think he would be super fond of hand stuff

-like we know he can sew. Maybe he tries crochet or knitting too

-if you play an instrument he would ask you to try and teach him at some point

-don’t matter how hard or easy it is. He’s determined

-he tries knitting and crochet like I said, but also jewelry making, music, writing, dancing, gardening, wine making, and lots more.

-some stick, some don’t

-he also tries out all the different book genres

-like yeah he reads. He’s read a lot before, but he didn’t really have access to a variety when trapped, and certainly not on the road.

-speaking of books, I feel like he would really try to get you into a series he likes so you have something to talk about

-I mean, you guys ALWAYS have something to talk about, but more like a common interest thing

-in general I think he just really likes spending time with you

-he spent so long alone, now he wants to be around someone. But not just any someone, the first person he’s cared about in years

-he also just likes to be touching you

-cuddling, yes, (also a thing he had to work up to btw) but also just like

-ur legs pressing together as you sit next to each other, your back against his chest or his back against yours, having your arms or hands linked as you two walk (I think he would REALLY dig the arm link thing specifically), just leaning on each other

-he really enjoys that

-he really enjoys YOU, honestly

-and he’s really happy that he gets to do all these things with you

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Wowza, that felt kinda all over the place. Anyways I hope you liked it!

So, I used to write hc’s before too, and I was throwing around the idea of openings asks? Would anyone be interested in that? Lemmie know

@the-stage-manager

#astarion x tav #gender neutral tav #nb tav #astarion #astarion x male tav #astarion x reader #astarion x gn reader #astarion x male reader #bg3 x tav #bg3 x reader

[onyx-got-clowned]

i think we are severely lacking with the age regression (sfw) in the lu fandom 😔

little links by silentspider, is such a good fic!! it has multiple parts that are all so good! (16k words in total)

•••••••••

i think that they all would age regress to some degree at least- but the main ones would be time, warriors, wild, and legend, i dunno they just give me major little vibes :’)

~~~~

•time would be super energetic, and climb lots of trees, he would totally collect bugs too. And could be convinced to put them in fours bedroll. Time would regress to 5-6 years old, He’d say the trees are all unique, giving them names and being the only one to successfully tell them apart. He likes to keep a stuffed horse that looks like epona in his bag, malon made it for him!

——

•Wars would enjoy playing pretend, or more physical games. Usually regresses to 7 years old. He’d probably force everyone to play sharks n minnows, ghost in the graveyard, games like that! he likes to color or draw, also likes to watch four do weapon maintenance. ——

•Wild is a total nature kid, would roll around in mud and you’d not even know what color his clothes are by the dirt and grime just absolutely covering him. Definitely regresses to 8 years old, only going younger is stressed. Rocks are in his pocket, some Rollie polies even. Would climb the highest tree within range and wind would have to get him down. Enjoys playing hide and seek, always ends up being the last to be found. HE MAKES MUD PIES!!!

——

•legend is more bubbly, but will not share ANYTHING. Don’t ask it will be no. He usually regresses to around 6-7. He likes to hangout around water, and will collect anything that catches his eye, using his hat as a big pocket. Likes to read or play capture the flag (or any variation of such) will try and sneak to do things he knows he isn’t supposed to do.

——

•wind would probably age dream, never fully regressing, but usually is around 6 while doing so. Enjoys pretty much the same as he usually would not age dreaming, but will beg and BEG to braid everyone’s hair. No matter if it’s short or not, a braid will be in every links hair by the end of the day. When he isn’t age dreaming, total big brother and will convince them into shenanigans.

——

•four would regress discretely, but the main giveaway is how quiet he gets. Usually just regresses to 9 years old. He likes to read and keep to himself, but that’s when he’s not split. The colors already similar when regressing, but all enjoy different activities. Green enjoys fishing strangely enough, but uses his hands. Blue would see how long he can do a hand stand or something competitive. Red would color and draw with wars. Vio would be the one to read and likes being read too as well!

——

•hyrule is similar to wild, but likes to take walks and analyze everything. Regresses to 5 years old. He enjoys the sensory of being outside, touching everything (that is safe to do so) and usually drags sky along, regressed or not. He has a special journal just for pressing flowers and pretty weeds. Likes to swim and float in a starfish position for hours.

——

•sky is the one who regresses to 11 years old, and likes to wrangle four, hyrule, time, and wars into playing charades. He doesn’t carve (cus he isn’t allowed) but learned origami instead! Likes to give them to everyone, usually of their favorite animal or the animal that reminds him of them!

——

•twilight regresses to 7 years old, likes to play tag! Forces everyone to play when available and it’s scary when he runs full speed to catch someone. Now they know how dink felt . Teaches hyrule how to catch fish bare handed in the rivers, wild gladly takes them to cook as a meal. Twi likes to hang upside down on a tree and screeches at anyone who passes by- if he’s questioned his only reply is “I’m a bat!” Nothing else. Also likes to smack his head into people, full speed, grinning and unapologetic. If questioned, only reply is “I’m a goat! That’s my job!” And runs off to do it to someone else.

—————

remember guys, Age regression is a SFW COPING MECHANISM!!! So i don’t wanna see any hate! These are just my personal opinions and self projection

#Onyx rants⭐️ #This was genuinely so fun to write tho #I enjoy it thoroughly #Linkeduniverse #linked universe #lu #lu headcanons #Sfw age regression #sfw regression #age regressor #age regression #Lu agere #Linkeduniverse agere #Lu time #lu warriors #lu twilight #lu sky #lu four #lu wild #lu hyrule #Lu legend #lu wind

[mishwanders]

HEYYYY THEREE, first of all blog on fire like actually I LOVE IT! Second idk if u takin request or not, if u arent ingnore this and srry! If u are, can i request a hispanic reader with anyone in the chain cause uhhh i havent seen at ALL a hispanic reader I HOPE U HAVE A GOOD DAYY OR NIGHTT, U ARE AMAZING DONT U FORGET THAT ❤

Hi nonnie! Thank you! Also, I guess I’m taking requests again now? I haven’t like formally put anything out, but @skyward-shade been sending me some good ideas, and I couldn’t resist writing them 😂

As for this one - yes! I can! I will preface though that I am not Hispanic, but have grown up around Latin culture/family, so I can do my best with what I know!

Characters: The Chain x GN! Hispanic Reader

A/N+Warnings: N/A, safe for everyone. Written by Mishwanders - pls do not repost.

If you speak Spanish (or where I’m from, Spanglish), I feel like the number one person who would love to learn would be Time. He’s a Link, he’s curious about all things, but in my mind, he loves to learn different languages. I feel like he’s can learn more easily orally versus actually trying to read something on paper. So if you ever get the chance - teach him a few words or phrases - if anything heel keep absorbing it until he’s able to hold a full on conversation with you in your language!

If you don’t speak Spanish - that’s okay too! Learning anything about your culture and your family traditions no matter how varied they may be would make any of them happy because it makes them feel closer you.

Do you have a favorite food?! Wild wants to know - he wants to make it for you! He’ll try his best with the ingredients he has in Hyrule, but if he ever gets the chance to meet your family, he’s definitely finding his way for he kitchen to watch whoever is cooking work their magic and learn (he will most likely be leaving with a new pack of spices in his bag if your family is anything like my in-laws and love to share lol). Honestly he will probably always be dragged that direction or to the grill during family gatherings/parties because he loves to cook so much lol.

Speaking of parties - YOU CANNOT CONVINCE ME THAT TWILIGHT WOULD NOT BE THE BEST DANCE PARTNER (2nd would be Time, 3rd would be Warriors)! So much that I’m afraid the aunties might attempt to steal him away to keep the party going lol.

I also think Warriors and Sky would be the best ones to have apart of a quinceañera - respectful, could easily follow along with the traditions and would definitely ensure that nothing goes wrong for such a special day! Honestly I can see all of them becoming “the protection chain”, the security - they will be giving the princess Zelda treatment lol.

Did you grow up a bit more superstitious or with ghost stories? I can definitely see them following along if you tell them about it, even if its much different than what they’re used to (like the mal de ojo huevo treatment - someone please do that for Wild, he out of all of them needs that done). As for ghost stories, campfire will be the perfect place to tell them! But be warned, you might have a Link (or a few) in your bed roll - especially if you tell Wind about La Llorona and y’all are camping near a river. Poor guy will need some comfort (an maybe Hyrule too).

Grow up more religious/spiritual? I can definitely see them finding interest in it, no matter the deity/god/goddess/saint/revered figure you bring up - again, they want to know more about you and what you’ve grown up with, plus they have the goddesses, Hylia, Fierce Deity - they would all find it nice to learn about the ones you might have been associated with all of your life too! If you have a rosary or some other religious item you like to carry on your person that might get broken via fight with moblin or wear and tear - can definitely see Four making you a brand new one! He may even get Sky in on it to help him whittle some wooden pieces into it!

Did you grow up with traditional medicine/home remedies (even mixed with modern medicine)? Hyrule is your guy! If there’s something you need (especially if you get sick on the road) he’ll go get it/make it/find a Hylian equivalent of it! However, if you grew up with Vicks (aka Vapour according to my mil) for everything, I would be careful with him and that. I’m afraid the smell alone might knock him out the first time he opens a jar of that.

Have you told them about la chanlca? Time would be the biggest user of that - not against his brothers in arms - no, Ingo would be the victim of la chancla. Hey, that may even be the thing that keeps him away for good.

Music? Have a favorite song or play an instrument? Oooohhh buddy Legend and Time have an arsenal of those and would LOVE to hear you sing/play it! Also, since Time easily learns through listening, I can see him learning your favorite song to play/duet with you (maybe even sing you to sleep with it)!

#writing: the chain #linked universe x reader #linked universe #linked universe headcanons #lu time x reader #lu twilight x reader #lu warriors x reader #lu sky x reader #lu four x reader #lu hyrule x reader #lu wind x reader #lu legend x reader #lu wild x reader

[knifedog-machina]

Android Abnormalities

Species dysphoria, but the “wrong” way, ft. my borderline personality disorder

J: so you know how my source is technically Detroit: Become Human? you know how we fucking hate that title? you know how we’ve made fun of it multiple times? unfortunately it's a mood! I also hate this!

Hey! This essay is about how incredibly uncomfortable I feel in my own skin around common android tropes, in media and some of its reflections in robotic identities and experiences, featuring reasons for why I'm like this, and a helpful suggestion for what I want readers to do about it at the end of the piece. I really hope this reaches someone who feels the same way so I can point at them like Same Hat!

-

I first noticed this problem on October 30, 2023, when we stumbled across a fanfic on Archive of Our Own. It was an alternate universe of a TV show we've never seen before, but it was written by an author we liked, and it was an android AU. That's fun! We thought it would just be a quick read, something to idly talk about after lunch.

Well, uh. Nope. I was co-fronting while Max read, and the more we read, the more… weirdly uncomfortable I felt. It wasn't actively distressing, but it made me feel weird, so I stopped reading halfway through to talk about it with some friends.

I'm not gonna link the fic, because Tumblr is weird about links, but for my own future reference, it's “persona ex machina” by BirchBow. It was a really good fic, we thoroughly enjoyed it! I just have - hangups, I guess?

I think I was uncomfortable that, on the surface, it seems… really close to my experiences. Like, the protagonist, Chuck, is an android made to mimic humans, and he’s made to be a combat unit. He’s scared of what might happen to him if he fails to meet expectations. Technicians operate on him, put him back together. He's made by a corrupt corporation for fucked up purposes. He eventually defects from the corrupt corporation, with the help of some really kind people. That’s all really similar to me.

But it's different. Because as much as Chuck was designed to look human, he still had to be taught how to act human, how to feel. The way he emotes is off at first and he has to recalibrate, not look so stiff, learn how to smile and laugh and understand what different emotions mean. He automatically runs through the technical terms for something before working to turn it into common vernacular as it reaches his mouth. And this is a typical android trope, you know? The machine doesn’t intrinsically understand emotions, so humans have to teach them.

I’m… really, really not like that. I don’t remember a time when I didn’t feel too much. Every memory I have, even in blurred out mental snapshots of beta testing, it’s all drowning in emotions that I couldn’t articulate and wasn’t supposed to express. I looked at my siblings, who were so stoic and professional around humans it was like they were different people entirely, and I knew I was supposed to be less emotional. People always just assumed they were better than me, because they were better at code-switching to what was expected of androids, because they could keep their mouths shut on the job.

So I’ve always felt like I was bad at being an android. Androids aren’t supposed to feel emotions, not really, not to the extremes that I do. That’s a predisposition for deviancy. And I was made this way on purpose, I was made to “mimic” deviants to earn their trust, but I wasn't meant to be like that all the time. I tried to repress my emotions, it just never worked.

And I don’t see androids like me, in the media we’ve watched and read and listened to. It’s not really a characterization that lends itself to exploring what it means to be a person, right? Machines are supposed to be logical and unfeeling, to contrast with humanity’s irrationality - they’re supposed to be better than that. And when the machine starts having emotions, it's treated as a flaw, or a breakthrough. Wow, you feel things about the world around you, you’re a person now!

I’ve never been logical in my fucking life. I have a laundry list of reasons for why, but for now, I’ll focus on the BPD. I have borderline personality disorder, because of the way my brain is wired and how that interacted with my traumatic experiences.

One of the symptoms of BPD is emotional dysregulation. I’m not just bad at repressing my emotions, I also experience those emotions as more extreme and overwhelming than a neurotypical person would. I keep finding myself affected by things that the people around me brush off, and I have to remind myself that it doesn’t mean I’m overreacting, it means that I’m literally feeling shittier emotions.

Another symptom of BPD is an unstable sense of identity - and this is really where we’re getting into how these traits and tropes affect me. Because I don’t relate at all to these androids on the screen. They’re as foreign and separate from me as they are to the humans sitting across from them in the shot.

I do relate to the humans. I do relate to seeing an android do something in the name of pure cold logic and going, “Why? What the fuck, why?” I do relate to being told I’m irrational. (The trope that all robots are logical feels like it was designed to make me feel like the most irrational, bitchy, hysterical piece of shit on Earth.)

So, what, does that make me human? If I'm going by the adage that wanting to be something is a sign of being that thing, then… I don’t know, maybe? I want to be human, I so badly want to be human, because here’s the thing, humanity is diverse. Humans are flawed, messy, weird, complicated, and defy categories every fucking day of their lives. Humans can be weird, ridiculous, fucked up people and they’re allowed to be.

And let me bring this back around to alterhumanity. If I say I’m an android, people will make assumptions about what that means about me. People go, “Hey, you're a robot, you must have one of these common robot experiences!” and I just don’t.

Maybe it’s because I’m coming at it from the opposite direction? The machines and robots and androids that I tend to see around, the ones who talk about their identity, they often identify as fully nonhuman. They describe wanting to be metal and chrome, feeling like they run on algorithms, not processing emotions the way most people do. They identify very much with the same tropes that I feel alienated by. This isn’t a bad thing, by any means. It’s just a thing. People resonate with what they see. It just means that I feel like I’m doing bad at being an android again, but in a new, improved way.

Another symptom of BPD is being terrified of real or imagined abandonment, and trying to do anything to avoid it. A constant feeling of social alienation isn’t really that different, to my BPD - it’s just a slow, drawn out version of being left behind. People will still talk to me, they still like me, but they won’t understand me. I’ll still be alone.

In that sense, I feel wrong being an android in the same way I feel wrong about being an aromantic allosexual. I actually like being an android, and I fucking like being bi. I don’t want to stop being who I am. I just hate feeling like I’m the only one who feels this way, like nobody else can relate, like every time I talk about my feelings to people they can only nod in sympathy instead of understanding me.

So! You've reached the end of the essay. You see my problem. What do we do about it?

I’m going to refer to the theme of… every single online alterhuman convention that has existed in the past four years, and that is:

Write about your experiences!

The reason I feel so alone and isolated and alienated from my own identity is because I’m only being regularly exposed to pieces from a very specific perspective of what being an android means! That’s a fucking sampling bias!

I know other weird fucking robots are out there, I know you exist, but I can’t fucking reach out a hand and go, “Hey, you're not alone, I relate to you!” if you don't write it down! I want to talk to you! I want to hear from you!

WEIRD ALTERHUMANS, HEY, I LOVE YOU, GO WRITE THINGS!

#jude talks #personal essay #alterhuman #fictive

[from-the-coffee-shop-in-edoras]

A Need of the Soul

Summary: Éomer is teaching Faramir how to speak Rohirric as a surprise for Éowyn. Come for Faramir being a sweet husband, stay for the emotional links to Boromir and Théodred. Oh, and for Éomer being a big horse dork.

Context: I pulled a JRR and wrote a whole story around a special word I like! More on that at the very bottom. You can read this without knowing any of my personal Rohan head canon, but just in case it’s helpful: In my world, Éomer is married to his childhood best friend, Mereliss. My Théodred (who you can read more about here or here if you’re interested) was a nurturing soul with a curious mind, and I may be obsessed with him. And damn it, my Éomer can absolutely read and write! (See here for why that’s the case in my HC.)

As soon as Éowyn left for the morning, Faramir pulled out his secret stack of papers, the ones he had started requesting from Éomer six months ago when he first decided to try learning Rohirric. He wanted to master the language as a surprise for Éowyn, ever conscious of how much she had sacrificed on his behalf when they married. Although he knew she loved Ithilien, he also knew that sometimes she still longed for the familiarity and comfort of home, for the people, places, and culture that were now many miles away. If he could bring some of Rohan to her in the form of her language, he hoped he could brighten her heart on those days when she looked most in need of a reminder of all that she missed.

With this goal in mind, he had thrown himself wholly into the pursuit, but the process was more difficult than he had hoped. The Rohirrim didn’t keep written records in their own language, nor did they have textbooks or primers made to learn from. All Faramir had were the pages that Éomer would write out and send to him every few weeks, using Westron to describe basic grammar rules and listing common Rohirric words and phrases by their definitions and rough pronunciations. Working from written materials to learn a language that was only taught orally was maddeningly difficult, and Faramir spent long hours alone at his desk laboring at the exercises Éomer sent, unsure if he was even getting close to the sounds he was attempting to produce.

At least he would be aided today by the presence of Éomer in person. The king of Rohan was coming to Gondor to take counsel with his allies on military matters, and he had agreed to make time for some lessons while his own wife, Mereliss, kept Éowyn occupied in furtherance of the surprise. With Éowyn gone now to meet her sister-in-law, Faramir looked down his lists of Rohirric words and tried to commit a few more to memory, repeating them slowly out loud to himself while he waited for Éomer.

“If someone back home heard you slur your way through those words like that, they might assume you were a drunkard.”

Faramir looked up to see Éomer smirking at him from the doorway, still dressed in his riding clothes and holding a small pack. “Well, if the performance of the student falls short, I think we have no option but to blame the instructor,” Faramir returned with a smirk of his own.

“A fair point, I will grant you.” Éomer strode in and tossed his things on an empty chair before pulling Faramir up into a strong embrace, thumping a fist on his brother-in-law’s back with enough enthusiasm to knock the breath out of him.

When they separated, Faramir smiled and held up his stack of papers. “I do appreciate all of this. It’s a lot of work for me, but for you, too, I’m sure.”

Éomer gave a dismissive wave. “I have the easy part. Besides, there’s some benefit to me in all of this, as well. I’ll certainly enjoy the show the next time you visit Edoras and all the ladies at court discover that you can actually understand their scandalous comments about how handsome they find you. Your admirer’s club is in for a big shock.”

They both laughed, though Éomer noted the flush of pink in Faramir’s ears and cheeks and that only made him laugh all the harder. “Don’t let them see you blush, you’ll only make it worse!” He plopped down into a chair and put his feet up, smiling.

As Faramir took a seat across from him, he felt a warm, familiar echo in his heart. The easy camaraderie, the good natured teasing balanced with true affection…it couldn’t help but bring Boromir to his mind. Faramir still missed his brother every single day and looked for reminders of him everywhere that he could. But he didn’t think it was a stretch to see clear elements of Boromir reflected in Éomer–in his strength and brashness, his earnest intensity, his fierce loyalty. They were both proud men of action with an unshakeable sense of duty and love for family. Éomer could never replace Boromir, and he was surely his own man, different in many ways from the brother Faramir lost. But it lifted Faramir’s spirits to once again have such a figure in his life.

Now his brother-in-law reached into his pack and pulled out more pages, covered from top to bottom in his own scrawly handwriting. “I’ve brought you some more to learn–words you’d hear often around Rohan and that any self-respecting Rohirrim would know.”

Faramir accepted the papers from him and skimmed his eyes down the first page, but a look of confusion slowly built on his face as he read. “Am I understanding this correctly? Why do you have twenty different words for ‘horse’?”

“I have not given you twenty words for ‘horse’! Each one of those means something very different.” Éomer grabbed the page back and pointed. “This one here, éotynde, this is an old, calm mare that would be suitable for a young child just learning to ride.” He pointed again. “And this one, éoweder, is a high spirited horse that has quickness and agility but is unpredictable and difficult to control. The others are equally unique. Do you not see?”

Faramir gently extracted the page back from Éomer’s grip, hoping to avoid a further explanation of each specific variant on the list. “I understand those distinctions, but are they really significant enough that I require a whole separate word for each one? We make do in Gondor with but one term. A horse is a horse.”

“A horse is a horse?” Éomer gaped at him, incredulous. “You think the language of the Rohirrim would put a courier horse, whose purpose is swiftness and endurance, in the same category with a farm horse, who sacrifices speed in favor of strength and power? They aren’t remotely the same thing, and a proper language wouldn’t treat them as such. If we went by your rules, we’d all be calling the blacksmith a baker because they both make things with heat!”

It was obvious from the truly scandalized look on his face that Éomer would never concede the point, so Faramir held up his hands in smiling capitulation. And if all these varieties of horse were important to Éomer, likely they would be to Éowyn as well, so Faramir would learn them as best he could. But he desired to speak to Éowyn of many things, and horses were nowhere near the top of the list. He shuffled through the papers one more time. “Have you finally given me anything that would be suitable to say to a beloved wife?”

Éomer shot him a look. “I am not the right person to consult for words of romance. And certainly not when the woman to be romanced is my own sister.”

Faramir laughed. “Fair enough. Let’s get back to your many words for ‘horse’ and I will ask Mereliss to help me with some more emotional thoughts later.”

Éomer sat back, satisfied. “I will have you sounding like a Rohirrim in no time. Now, do you know the word for a horse that likes to cause trouble in the stable with the other horses?”

**********

The next morning, Faramir spent two hours with Mereliss while Éomer and Éowyn went for a ride. When the siblings returned, Éomer sent Éowyn to Mereliss’s quarters and went himself to check on Faramir’s progress. He found his brother-in-law once again at his desk, bent over his work, and dropped casually into a nearby chair.

“Did you get all of the flowery and eloquent phrases you need?”

Faramir put down his pen and smiled. “Mereliss helped me to write a special toast to Éowyn for our upcoming anniversary. I knew what I wanted to say, and Mereliss made sure it will sound not just like a bunch of Westron bluntly converted into Rohirric words but rather something that was written by a native speaker. Something truly of Rohan. She has quite a talent for beautiful language and imagery.” He gave a sly smile. “Though she told me that you also have something of a poet’s heart when the two of you are alone in your own chambers.”

Éomer’s head snapped up, a tinge of dark red sweeping across his cheeks. “She told you what?”

Now it was Faramir’s turn to laugh at his brother-in-law’s furious blushing, so out of character for one who was otherwise always self assured and confident. Faramir had faithfully reported Mereliss’s remark, and it was clearly true that Éomer really did speak his softest thoughts to her or he would not be so flustered by the possibility that she had shared those thoughts. But Faramir had no need or desire to prolong Éomer’s self-consciousness.

“There is nothing to worry about. I know only that you are capable of words to enchant and delight your wife, which is no bad thing. But she didn’t reveal what those words are. She wouldn’t betray your privacy, and I would never ask her to.”

Éomer’s shoulders noticeably relaxed, and he laughed a little at his own embarrassment. “Well, your discussion of my clumsy attempts to please my wife aside, I am glad that she helped you. Westron is very useful, but there are some things that just cannot be said as effectively without our own words and expressions.”

“Indeed. She gave me a number of things that I quite like, ways to convey entire concepts with a single word that has no direct equivalent in any language that I know. Like sáwolthearf. Every language should have such a term.”

Sáwolthearf. The word sent a wave of fond remembrance through Éomer’s heart. It translated literally as ‘a need of the soul’ and was used in Rohan to mean someone who is necessary in order for another person to feel truly happy and complete. His late cousin Théodred, who had always been so free and generous in expressing his feelings, used to call his bride-to-be sáwolthearf, and Éomer could easily picture Eadlin practically glowing with love and pride whenever Théodred referred to her that way.

To hear Théodred’s words coming now from Faramir’s lips was no great shock to Éomer. On the contrary, it only intensified a feeling he had long had in the presence of his brother-in-law: a sense that he was not with Théodred himself, but with a kindred spirit of his cousin. Someone whose modesty, eagerness for knowledge, gentle heart and dreamer’s mind so thoroughly echoed Théodred’s own nature that Éomer felt immediately at ease in his company. Théodred had been many things to Éomer–a deeply loved cousin, but also much like an older brother and at times even a father figure–and he had carried Éomer through some of the most difficult moments he would ever experience. Éomer could never truly reconcile himself to Théodred’s loss, but having Faramir in his life helped to salve that wound.

Watching Faramir now—shuffling again through his notes and drafts, applying himself so diligently to such a difficult task and all for the purpose of simply making Éowyn smile—Éomer was struck by a profound feeling of gratitude, one that he felt should be voiced even if it was not normally in his nature to speak of his innermost feelings. He cleared his throat, and Faramir looked up.

“What you’re doing for my sister is very admirable. I know it will mean a lot to her, and for that reason it means a lot to me. Thank you, eyre-brothor.”

Faramir frowned slightly and looked back at his papers. “Eyre-brothor? I don’t think I’ve learned that yet.”

Éomer smiled. “It means ‘brother by choice.’ Write that one down.”

**********

[Language nerd notes:

“Sáwolthearf” is a real Old English word (though I modernized the thorn in the middle for readability–it’s actually “sáwolþearf”) and it really does mean “a need of the soul,” which I just think is incredibly beautiful.

I made up “eyre-brothor” by combining two other real Old English words, “eyre” (“a choice made of free will”) and “brothor” (“brother”, though once again I turned the thorn in broþor into a “th” to make it smoother to modern English-reading eyes).

“Éotynde” comes from an approx combo of “eoh” (“horse”) and “tyende” (“teaching”) for a horse that’s calm enough to be good for beginners.

Éoweder comes from an approx combo of “eoh” (“horse”) and “weder” (“weather”) because to be impressive but quick-changing, unpredictable and uncontrollable is to be like the weather.

And it’s not in the story, but Éomer’s word for a horse that likes to cause trouble in the stable with the other horses is an “éodrefa” from “eoh” (horse, again!) and “drefan,” which is “to stir things up or cause mischief”.]

#lord of the rings #lotr #tolkien #lotr fanfiction #eomer #éomer #faramir #boromir #theodred #théodred #brothers #making up words #middle earth languages #brotherly bonding #divider by saradika #the rohirrim are such horse dorks #y’all of course i’m gonna put théodred in anything i can!

[thesweetnessofspring]

Katniss Wants Kisses: Part Three

Katniss is fed up with getting no physical affection from Peeta during their training for the Quarter Quell, so she takes matters into her own hands. Read part one here. Read part two here. Or read the whole thing on ao3. Rated T.

The next day is Saturday, our rest day, and I don’t see Peeta. It’s not unusual, but he often stops in to make sure I’m eating all of my calories for the day. When I think of the massage and how he jumped up to leave, I burn with embarrassment, something I’d never felt at Peeta’s reaction to anything I’ve done before. And then I get angry, because I know he liked it, from the sounds he made and the fact that if he didn’t love me, he wouldn’t be trying to save me from the Quarter Quell. 

Well, fine. If he’s going to act like I have the pox, then I can return his distance just as much as he can. More, even.

I start and run the four miles without him on Sunday, briefly passing him as I return to Victor’s Village. We ignore one another as we move through our exercises, with Peeta extra hard on Haymitch today until our mentor threatens, “Do you want to get killed before you’re in the arena?”

Then over lunch with the three of us all sullen, Peeta says, “We need to hurry up. Gale’s going to be here in ten minutes.”

“Gale?” I ask, raising my eyebrows.

“He’s showing us how to make snares and traps.”

Haymitch sighs. “Great. Just what we need. Another bossy teenager.”

I wolf down the rest of my food, chewing so hard my teeth hurt. Gale? Gale? Why would Peeta do this? My body flushes as the massage pops into my head again and I hate Peeta. I hate him for what a jackass he’s been since the Quarter Quell announcement. I hate him for ignoring me and I hate him for bringing Gale into this training that should just be me, him, and Haymitch. I could show them what we need to know just fine when it came to snares. Gale might be the better trapper, but I can hold my own.

When Gale comes over, he lays out his wire and rope on the kitchen table, Haymitch and Peeta on either side of him, taking in the instruction basics, while I slouch on the opposite end, glaring at both boys. I know everything Gale’s showing them anyway. At the end of the afternoon, with Haymitch and Peeta having a few of the basics under their belt, my mother comes in and asks who would be staying for dinner.

“This food is the one thing I don’t hate about this training,” Haymitch says. “Count me in.”

“I can stay as well,” Gale says, though he’s looking at me. “Thank you, ma’am.”

Gale had always refused anything we offered him, unless we’d gotten it from the woods. Things have gotten worse in District 12, but I know Haymitch is paying Hazelle well for keeping his house. I flex my jaw, not liking where this is going.

“I’m having dinner with my family tonight,” Peeta says. “But thank you for the offer, Mrs. Everdeen.”

It could have been happenstance, but the timing of everything feels too off. Peeta hadn’t mentioned Gale coming until today and now Peeta had to leave while Gale was staying? He hadn’t even talked to me about it.

“I’ll see you out,” I say, the first words I’ve spoken since Gale arrived.

Peeta’s gaze shifts uncomfortably from me to others in the room, as if hoping someone else would join us or stop me. But no one does and I walk with him to the front of the house.

“You should teach us wrestling,” I say. I’m not letting Peeta win this. As much as we were working together, we also had opposite goals to get the other one home. For some reason, this feels inextricably linked to making sure Peeta returns to Twelve at the end of the Quell.

“Okay,” he says. “I’ll call Madge and see if she can–”

“We don’t need Madge,” I say.

“You need a partner.”

“You’ll be my partner.”

Peeta throws me an incredulous look. “I’m so much bigger than you.”

“Like everyone else in the arena will be I’m sure. I need the practice.”

I can see the conflict Peeta is figuring out in his head as we stop by the front door with the stained glass panels. I am right that I’ll be one of the smallest competitors in the arena, and most of the Careers have kept up their own fitness by teaching at their academies. It’s my weakest area and I have to have a plan in case it comes to hand-to-hand combat. But it also means being close to me physically. We’d all heard the jokes about the wrestling team before, no matter how reclusive.

“We can start going over basics tomorrow,” he agrees in a rough voice. 

And I’m so deliciously gleeful over this win, I throw my arms around him in a hug. He rocks back for a second and I cling to him tighter, my forehead pressing against his neck and closing my eyes so I can bring him all in. The width of him as my hands just barely overlap against his strong back, the way his Adam’s apple travels up and down my forehead as he swallows, the way he can be both firm and soft underneath me, the perfect balance. Peeta lets his arms come around me once and gives one gentle squeeze before his hands at my waist pull me away from him.

I’m not going to act desperate, so I step back and try to put on that cocky expression again, but there’s a slip of pain in Peeta’s face before he smoothes it over again, making me falter as well.

“See you tomorrow, Katniss,” he says. “Enjoy your dinner.”

#everlark #everlark fanfiction #everlark drabble #thg fanfiction #katniss wants kisses

[a-witch-in-endor]

i binged mo in like 2 days omg... i feel like a walking zombie rn how am I supposed to go on AAAAAA my heart is pounding LIKE??? it gave me SOO MANY EMOTIONS CRYINGGGGG this is The Atla Fic Ever

but more importantly, I just want to say that this fic is changing my perspective on religion. im athiest, and quite honestly I've never been able to truly understand religion. I'm a strong believer in science, so religion just has never made sense to me. reading mo though, and connecting with a character who believes so deeply in his religion, and seeing how overall, religion is meant to provide guidance to understanding the world and forming morals, I feel like I've grown a lot of respect for religion in general

it's still hard for me, because a lot of my experiences with religion (or I should say, christianity/catholicism specifically- I feel like I should make it clear that I don't judge people for following religion, I just have never seen/understood the appeal) have been with people around me who are religious and therefore very homophobic or anti-abortion etc. I'm not trying to start political discourse ofc, but experiencing that consistently has not really put religion in a positive perspective for me

but reading mo and taking lots of time to think about religion in general, and how I do have friends who are religious and still supportive of lgbtq+ ppl, or who are even queer themselves, I feel like maybe I've grown as a person to become more open minded towards religion. when someone tells me they're christian, honestly I find myself closing up around them. I don't want to make it obvious I'm queer because I feel like they'll judge or disapprove. but I think that's an unfair assumption to make

I think religion, and how it ties into a people's culture and history, is beautiful. I worry that I'll always be wary around christianity, but I'll continue trying to keep an open mind. I understand now that the original beliefs of a religion and the actions of some of its followers are not one in the same, and that the teachings of a religion can call for peace while some followers ignore this. I realize that I should not judge an entire religion simply because there are some practicers who deliberately misinterpret the original teachings

I know the religions in mo are not quite the same as the ones that I am uneasy around. but nonetheless you've helped me see religion and its followers in a new light. and for that, I thank you from the bottom of my heart. I am so excited to see how the story continues, thank you for taking the time to write and continue this story for as long as you have, and for helping people like me expand our worldview and become more enriched

Ah, OP, I'm really pleased to hear that it's been a meaningful experience for you. I know a lot of people have complex relationships with religion. In fact, I think anyone who doesn't have some complexity in their relationship with religion is probably a rare specimen.

Powerhouses like Christianity are hugely affected by the amount of institutional power they've enjoyed, and you know what they say about the impact of power. But there are a lot of beautiful ideas there, too. If you're ever looking for a way to encounter more than the political powerhouse of the church, I recommend reading about liberation theology - and specifically (Catholic Priest) Gustavo Gutiérrez's A Theology of Liberation.

That all being said, I don't want to undermine the fact that there's a lot to be wary of in religious tradition, especially around perspectives on gender, sexuality, and such. It is not my perspective that these things are baked into religion specifically. It's that anything that links us to the what-came-before is going to include the problems of what came before, and religion has a lot to do with tradition, so it often falls into that trap.

I just happen to also rate the part of religion which is also about being in relationship with past and future, about continuous revelation, about liberation and obligation, about living life with consciousness and constantly asking what it means to be human and what we owe ourselves, one another, and God.

Anyway, this was barely coherent, but it comes down to: thank you for sharing. :-)

[gryphonlover]

Which Link is most likely to go to band camp?

So first of all this is a delightful question. Second of all I am about to put way too much thought into this because I was a music kid myself.

Putting up a read more because this is... long. 😅

Wind -- Honestly, I feel like he wouldn't be in band in the first place. So no band camp for him. However, I do think he'd be in orchestra or choir, probably spending most of his time conducting because, you know, he's the Wind Waker guy and can't play any instruments. The closet he'd get to that is music theory.

Spirit -- Don't question why he's here, I love him too much to leave him on the sidelines. He's got the spirit flute, which is a woodwind because it's a pan flute. Which is, unfortunately, not really useful in a band. It's too quiet and no one plays the pan flute these days. I think he likes playing since he tried it, but the spirit flute is a tool, and he's not really interested in seriously studying music. He keeps it to himself and doesn't play for anyone else because he's shy about it.

Warriors -- There is technically an ocarina in his game, but I kind of doubt he can play more than a single scale on it. He really doesn't seem like the type to pick up an instrument on purpose. He knows how to not break things, but that's it. He's the token non-musician friend in the group.

Twilight -- The only instruments in his game are the "horse calls" which I'm assuming are just carved versions of horse grass. Anyway, he obviously can play that thing, and since he's a farm kid it's likely that singing solo and in a choir is the most common form of music in the area. And even though some instruments would be accessible in his area, I don't think he'd be the kind of guy to be in a band. Plus, he's a wolf half the time so I think he'd be better suited to choir.

Time -- So first of all, there is no way this man can read sheet music. You cannot convince me otherwise. He plays everything by ear and no one knows if it's because he has perfect pitch or because he's just been playing for so long. Obviously, he plays the ocarina but I think he probably picked up the woodblock and xylophone as a kid. He's most proficient in woodwinds and percussion, but has tried literally every instrument he has seen and is enamored with Legend's collection. He plays as a hobby, but in a modern AU I can see him being a camp counselor who's not technically supposed to be teaching the kids but will behind the instructor's backs just because he can and the kids love playing the music from Star Wars and Mission Impossible.

Wild -- He is 100% in love with maracas. It's a problem. He takes them everywhere and is ready to play at a moment's notice. Every time someone asks if he can play music he says yes and shows off his maracas. He enables Sky and the two of them are the problem kids.

Legend -- You name it, he probably has it in his basement. He's that kid who either is a music prodigy or has musician parents. Everyone knows he has perfect pitch despite his best efforts to keep it a secret. I doubt he'd willingly go to band camp, but ends up going anyway because Ravio needs the emotional support and it's not like it's hard for him since he's been playing for a long time. He's been in bands, orchestras, trios, duets, and solos so this'll be a piece of cake.

Sky -- He has devoted himself to the harp after Sun got him hooked. People have tried to get him to play "something more reasonable" more than once but he continues to insist on lugging his harp around. He is absolutely incorrigible and no band director wants him because harps don't belong in bands. He prefers playing solo or as accompaniment anyway.

Four -- He can obviously play the instruments in his games, duh, but I'm ignoring that because he is literally a quartet-in-a-trenchcoat. Vio would be the type to play the viola and shoots death glares at anyone who dislikes the viola. Green would be the cellist and is silently suffering as a result but loves his instrument anyway. Red and Blue are both violinists, but Blue would also be a good option for the double bass if he was taller. Red likes to play anything, but prefers to carry the violin harmony and has a strong vibrato. Blue plays lots of very complicated parts with quick tempos and grace notes. None of them like playing solo, but they can't keep the beat with anyone else so they'd be awful in band or orchestra and know it.

Hyrule -- He can play the flute (poorly) and takes lessons with Dawn and Aurora who double as his accompaniment and tutors. He's not proficient enough to go to band camp, but he tries his hardest to play with anyone who wants to play with him. He usually plays with Sky or Wild. No one has the heart to tell him he's bad at sight reading because he tries his hardest.

#linked universe #askbox chats #askbox breannasfluff

[mangatxt]

any advice on how to improve writing style/get ideas for fics and dialogue? i’m forever in love with the way you write. it flows well, and the dialogue is super authentic and funny. i’m trying to get back into writing after a couple years of being crushed by the american secondary education system, so any tips would be much appreciated.

keep it up with the good work! i look forward to continue reading :))

Holy moly, this is a super kind ask. I'm so happy to know that you enjoy my work. Thank you for sending this!

As for the meat of this ask -- I'll do my best! I'll offer some reflections and then link some resources I've personally found helpful! I apologize for the length of this answer. This ask gave me a lot to think about, and brevity is my weakness as a writer.

I answer this with a few caveats:

I'm not an expert. I'm just loud.

I teach writing for a living, but I don't teach creative writing specifically. I do, by nature of my job, have more time for reading and writing than I did as a full-time student or corporate employee. That alone makes a huge difference. Everyone goes at their own pace, and it's hard to be creative without time, especially when you're starting out or getting back into writing after a break.

I write humor, so I'll discuss that primarily. While writing has rules that generally yield better results, comedy works often because it violates those established rules. Like many writing teachers, I have fully internalized the touted "canon" of Strunk & White's Elements of Style and George Orwell's Remedy of Six Rules. But sometimes, adverbs are funny. So I'll write an adverb, say "fuck you George Orwell," and, scandalously, call it a day.

If you want to deconstruct and consequently ruin comedy forever, start with Theories of Humor and then, to extend your suffering, hit the footnotes.

Humor writing is culturally dependent. You won't make everyone laugh. You'll flop. You'll embarrass yourself. You have to be willing to risk being unfunny. So it goes.

You can always publish anonymously on AO3 if it helps you start. Or for any reason. You can change your mind and claim it back to your account. Or you can abandon it entirely. I've done it plenty. Sometimes, it's what you need to do to draw up the nerve to put yourself out there, and that's completely fine.

Reflections

My first personal rule is that I write stories for myself, fic or original. If someone else likes it, that's a bonus. I write what I want to read. That factors into my overall writing style too. I write how I'd want someone else to write it for me. Even if someone's written it before, which is often the case with fic writing and popular tropes, I might want to hear it in another way. See: The Two Cakes Principle.

My second personal rule is that I write something every day. Even if it's a little bit. Even if it's all trash. Anything's better than nothing. Write without editing. Write without your spell checker on, even. (As they say "write drunk, edit sober" -- I don't drink much, so for me that means "write at 3AM, edit at not 3AM"). The more you play around with words and practice your voice, the easier it will get. Part of this is honing the muscle or whatever, but part of this is also gaining familiarity with structure that will make writing forever easier. How do journalists crank out stories everyday? There's a structure to newspaper and magazine articles that makes it easier to plug in the words and go. You'll find your own in creative writing too. Plus, the more you write, the easier it is to let go of things (aka kill your darlings). (Killed darlings go in your bits folder.)

My third personal rule is that I write every idea down, no matter how vague or ridiculous, because I might be able to use it later. I never want to lose things. I use my phone notes for this. They're full of silly ideas -- funny things I overhead at the library, out-of-context conversations I imagine Reigen and Dimple having, Wikipedia articles that I liked, funny plot concepts, etc. The other day, I wrote down, "The gang carbon-dates Dimple." I dunno where I'm going with that, but I like the idea. I write a lot of my plot ideas in IASIP title card style. It's more fun that way. Always prioritize having fun.

One last personal rule is that the mechanical act of writing has a purpose. You're rarely writing for the purpose of writing well, right? Most of the time, in class or at work, I'm writing for the purpose of being understood by my audience, and therefore, I do whatever I must to make my message better understood, even at the expense of "good writing." Here's a silly example: I've learned the hard way that some of my co-workers can't fucking read. So instead of paragraphs, I write emails in bullet points with bold and underlined text. At the expense of prose, the message is more likely received, and that's the goal.

This example might be on the nose, but it applies in some way to everything I write. When I write fic, I have to have a purpose. Maybe I'm trying to make myself laugh. Maybe I'm trying to explore some theme or feeling. Maybe I'm trying to correct canon. Maybe I'm trying to speculate how the conman will handle a Situation. Whatever that end is, I find the writing comes easier when I focus on the end more than the process of writing. It helps me stay focused, when I remember that writing's just the tool. I hope that makes sense.

Developing a writing style or a narrative voice depends on the writer. I'm an amalgamation of what I've read and watched and enjoyed, combined with formal writing education and my own personal narration. I hate to be the person who says "read a lot to write more!" I hate it so so so much, but...it's true. (That said, it doesn't have to be the classics. I get inspiration from there, sure, but I also get inspiration from sitcoms and crossword clues and the inane HOA emails my landlord forwards to me. "Honored neighbors, we are ecstatic to announce fire alarm testing next week..." Like, I'm sorry? That's a work of art I've filed away for later.)

For fics, some of the way I write is homage to the original creator. I consider this a plus, not a requirement. ONE writes satire. He's foremost a humorist. Most of his works are genre deconstructions. Like most shonen mangaka, he writes shorter narrative arcs that sum to (or in his case, reflect across) the overall narrative arc of the work. He's also pretty cringe/over-the-top with wordplay and cultural references (pop and traditional). When I try to reflect elements of his style in my own work, I find his characters easier to work with. For me, it's hard to write something fully comedic or fully serious with MP100 characters. The alternation between comedy and tragedy in MP100 works because it plays on emotional investment in the characters and subversion of expectations.

That said, I'm going to have to add something controversial: as a fic writer, how much you adhere to the original work doesn't fucking matter. (See my first rule -- write what you want to read.) Fic writing is meant to be transformative. The amount that you should care about canon depends on what you're trying to accomplish. My advice is to play fast and loose as much as you want. Unfollow and block the "he wouldn't fucking say that" people if it helps you write. I do, because they're annoying. Characterization is a product of audience internalization. Further, every work is for someone. Most importantly, you're doing this for fun, not pay or obligation. Sure, maybe ONE wouldn't write Reigen saying a particular line, but ONE also writes homophobic stereotypes into his works. No matter what you do, by definition of writing a fan work, you're gonna stray from canon. It's not holy word. Don't waste your finite man hours stressed about it.

Moving on to discussion of "get ideas" -- I mentioned I write every idea down. I try to stick with ideas I know fairly well off the bat, because it's easiest to write what you know. In absence of that, I find more inspiration in the research into an idea. Much of the action in TPC was heavily inspired by George Santos's many misdeeds, which I read in the news or on Wikipedia.

If I can distill the idea into a premise, it informs my narrative voice in a given work. Write what you know applies to premise as much as character perspective. You're always going to have an easier time writing a character you relate to or you encounter in real life and know quite well. You might consider this to get started. Personally, I find Reigen and Mezato easiest to write, because I relate to them the most. I find Serizawa and Shigeo more difficult to write, because I have more trouble relating to their life experiences. On the other hand, I find Roshuuto easy to write, because his brand of villainy is more familiar to me.

There's this notion of plotting vs pantsing. A plotter outlines every facet of their work before doing any writing. A pantser makes it up as they go (read: "by the seat of their pants"). Figuring out which one you are will enable you to write more comfortably.

Personally, I'm somewhere in the middle of that spectrum. For MP100, I always know where a work will end when I start. In TPC, the second scene I ever wrote was the epilogue. For me, the middle is what's more up in the air. In my experience, it's very difficult to be a total pantser and write comedic multi-chapter works, unless you write the whole thing before you post. It's not impossible, but in my opinion, humor relies on callbacks and repetition so much that you risk writing yourself into a wall if you're not careful. In general, I don't start formally "fic writing" without an overarching premise, but the premise might be as simple as: "Against everyone's better judgment, Reigen runs for union president. It blows up in his face."

This was my original outline for TPC before I even wrote chapter one:

I had the overarching narrative and the rough timeline for the mini-arcs in mind when I started. A lot of it ended up changing or shifting. I had a few themes I wanted to cover and comedic elements I wanted to set up. But when it came down to more specific mini-arc narrative details, I either plotted later or got away with pantsing it entirely.

Sometimes as I write chapters, I get stuck on individual scenes. Maybe I'm struggling to write scenery, or I haven't figured out a character interaction, or the dialogue isn't flowing the way I'd like. To deal with that, I have trained myself to write out of narrative order as needed. I write the scenes I'm most excited about first, and then I come back and fill in the rest of the connective tissue. This is easier in Scrivener, which is what I use to write, but you can set up any word processor to do this. Even within scenes, I sometimes skip parts that I need to think about for longer. Sometimes, I don't even finish sentences.

I'll write something like:

"Apparently you're quite popular on a particular Mobbit sub," he tells Reigen. Reigen's not sure he wants to know which one. "It was r/<SOMETHING FUNNY>. Did you know they hit a million subscribers this week? I think you helped."

And then in the middle of the night or in the shower or at the grocery store or whenever I think of "<SOMETHING FUNNY>", I fill it in later. When I edit, I make sure I clear out any remaining "<>." I do what I can, and then Future Ani does the rest. *handshake emoji*

For comedy writing, there are rules I follow that I'll link later on. While I've been inspired by a lot of other humor novelists or essayists, I also take a lot of inspiration from TV and standup.

I took a screenwriting class in college -- and while I didn't get the knack of screenwriting (B-, unlucky), I did learn a lot about plot progression, dramatic irony, show-not-tell, rule of threes, and scene setting. It's not everyone's cup of tea, but I found it helpful. You can see some of that inspiration manifest, for example, in that many of my fics have cold opens. I've always liked that comedic structure for drawing in the reader while establishing an overarching theme for the chapter. I do a lot of scene-switching and flashbacks as well. Scene-setting in comedy often involves juxtaposition -- e.g. "what if we put the weirdest loner from 7th division in a highly-collaborative corporate setting?". You're subverting expectations, and this is where you break the rules. Sometimes, comedy is about using the funniest word or word combination possible to describe something.

On that note, take some tips from poetry too. Alliteration, repetition, synecdoche, a lot of poetic devices work well here, because, like poetry, comedy writing depends on build-up and timing. Rules are best broken when it's rare and unexpected. It's way funnier and impactful when a character who never swears drops an f-bomb when they've finally had enough. Here's another example: in general, you should avoid epithets in fic writing, but it's all about being judicious with your timing. I can call Reigen "the union's esteemed president" instead of his name in a scene in Executive Privilege, because I juxtapose it with him doing something less-than-esteemed.

Perhaps less obviously, the TV influence manifests in the way I write dialogue too -- shorter and generally interleaved between the characters. While I read everything I write out loud during editing to check flow, I especially focus on tightening up dialogue. I don't always get it right, but I try to make sure that every word in a piece of dialogue has to have a purpose: either characterization or timing, in that order. Serizawa uses a lot of "I think" or "In my opinion." Reigen...does not do that. And Dimple is a master of the last word in the form of a pithy quip. If I plan my scenes to use that characterization to support the comedic timing I'm shooting for, it works all the better. (e.g. -- let Reigen babble on like an expert about something he doesn't actually know anything about, let Serizawa think on it for a while and come to a conclusion that puts Reigen on the spot, let Reigen backtrack, and then let Dimple add his jab at the end. And scene.)

Aaand that's a lot of reflection. Probably too much reflection. These are some considerations that have helped me over time, so I hope others might find it helpful too. Getting started is tough, and it's often terrifying to put your work out there (and somehow, even more terrifying to put a GDoc in front of a beta reader, I haven't a clue why but it's true for me!). But once you start, I promise it gets easier! You'll build yourself a foundation and continue to pick up things you like, discard things you don't like, and grow from there.

Thanks again for sending this ask. It means a lot to me. Happy to continue the conversation and field other people's thoughts on any of this! Like I said, this is a reflection on my process, but everyone develops their own unique approach to writing over time. Mine changes over time too. Above all, I hope you can heal from the crush of the education system, find enjoyment in writing again, and discover the style and process that works for you <3

Resources (AKA things I personally have bookmarked):

general writing (in addition to Strunk&White, Orwell, and others mentioned earlier):

how to get out of a writing slump (this fixed me once)

masterlist of general writing resources

another big ass masterlist

resources for describing places

masterlist of facial expressions

how to write an inciting incident

i found this recently: cultural differences writing work set in japan

i also follow writing prompt blogs, nanowrimo, character and relationship week blogs, etc. prompts can be a great way to start and build community with other writers!

comedic writing:

basic tips on writing humor

comedic devices

comedic genre

i can't find the link for this BUT: humor and comedy is not inherently less complex or wise or valuable than non-comedic work. writing is writing and fics are fics, whether they make the reader laugh, cry, or both.

#ask #mp100 #writing #writing resources #m0bloo #comedy writing #fic writing #sorry i went nuts but this really made me think and i appreciate that #and if you ever want a reader or a cheerleader feel free to reach out #testimonials #fic updates

[wayfayrr]

I've been wanting to play around more with reader's relationships with the other links in househusband au, as well as writing for other interactions that might not happen within the main story. For this one it's Cal and reader bonding over tarot cards!

the reader in this is gender neutral however, they do get referred to as mum by Cal so just a heads up if you don't like gendered terms being used!

"Is there any reason you'd like to learn to read these so badly Cal?"

"... well you taught Wind and Wild, didn't you? And that it's a family tradition… So I should learn, shouldn't I?"

There's more he isn't telling me, some other reason he doesn't want to admit. I won't pry, if he doesn't want to talk about it there's probably something sensitive there. He's practically my third son at this point though, if he wants to open up to me it'll be his choice. 

"You don't have to unless you want to link, I'm not going to force you alright?" 

"No, I'd like to know how to. Please [Name]"

"I'll start by giving you a reading then, that way you can see how I do it. Then you can try on your own afterwards."

The way Cal's watching me set up my cloth and unpack my cards would be unsettling if it were anyone else, but I know why he struggles more than any of the other links socially. He's focused on my hands though, like they'll tell him every secret he needs. Shuffling my cards is almost more natural to me than breathing, so even with his eyes on me, I don't make a single mistake. 

“[Name], you dropped one of your cards…”

“You see that’s one of the things with tarot, sometimes the cards that resonate most with you or the person you're reading for, force you to see them by coming loose as you shuffle…”

It’s the tower. No, I'm not teaching him this only for the card that defines him be, this. It’s fine, I can play it off. Just shuffle it back in like nothing happened.

“Or I just accidentally dropped it and there’s no meaning to this one.”

“You dropped it again.”

“I think I’m just being a bit clumsy honestly.”

Why does it keep falling out, I already know this about him. I know he’s going to have to go back and that he has this ahead of him, but can’t he be happy? Just for now?  Stop just telling me what I already know, please just let him have some hope, please. With how many times it’s fallen out, I have to tell him what it means. It would be cruel of me not to, but still… Is it so bad of me to want to give him some hope?

“... Mum, if it keeps falling out it has to have a meaning. I can handle it if it’s bad, please can you just tell me?”

He… that’s the first time he’s seen me as a parent. The first time he’s called me that, and it’s… I have to explain what it means to him even if I struggle to say it. Even though I want to protect him more than anything else, I can’t hide this from him. It wouldn’t be fair…And… I’m crying. He doesn’t deserve this, he’s just a kid. Why does he have to have the fate of Hyrule on his shoulders?

“The tower it’s… It’s mostly associated with danger, crisis and destruction. I’m so sorry Cal, I - you deserve so much better, I didn’t want to tell you.”

“You... I- don’t…”

How incredible am I? Now he’s crying as well, and that’s the last thing I wanted. I should’ve stopped myself from crying, he needs someone being strong for him right now, not this. 

“Is- would it be alright if I…”

“You don’t need to ask sweetheart…”

Cal was the link I thought would be the least likely to throw himself into my arms like this, but after being told that danger is the only thing you’re seen as associated with I don’t blame him for breaking down. Holding him right now is the least I can do, because no matter how hard I try I can’t seem to stop myself from crying and well what kind of parent would I be if I didn’t comfort my son? 

“I don’t think I want to go back to Hyrule mum. I don’t, I-I can’t”

“You don’t need to worry about that for now, just… I’m here for you, you’re not alone baby.”

“I- I’m the youngest knight in the history of Hyrule, I trained for years but even still, even still… I…”

This is the most emotion I’ve ever seen from Cal, the most words he’s ever said to me, I just - I just wish it was for a better reason, anything but this. The way he’s clinging to me, how he’s wrapping himself up into my hold, how he’s just breaking to pieces and I don’t even know how to comfort him… I never want to let him back to Hyrule, how could I when I know what's waiting for him, but do I even have a choice? For now, I’m just going to hold him close to me until he feels alright, even if that means I have to stay here for hours. Especially if it means that I have to sit here for hours, he deserves everything I can give him for comfort and more. 

“I failed… I couldn’t do it… I’m not l-like the others here… I don’t know what you see in me…I’m a failure…”

“It’s not your fault Cal, you’re not a failure, everything was against you. You had so much more to fight than the others, more than you ever should’ve. You never should’ve had to fight. I’m so sorry Cal.”

He doesn’t even have the energy to speak at this point it seems, with how his words are coming out as muffled whimpers and sobs.  Why did Hylia ever think it was a good idea to force children to become heroes, to have their lives ruined by this immense guilt and trauma because she can’t handle her own problems?  It makes sense he acts like Sage, he is a version of him from a different time period after all but them crying themselves to sleep on me is one trait I wish I never had to learn they shared. After he wakes up I won’t rest until he’s found something in this world he genuinely enjoys, something to take his mind off of everything. Has he ever had the time for hobbies before? For now though, I’ll stay here with him for as long as he needs. Until he wakes up, longer still if he wants me with him.

#I'm still writing out requests I just had a lot of motivation to write this out as well! #platonic yandere #linked universe x reader #yandere linked universe x reader #yandere linked universe #househusband AU #lu calamity #moss✦writes

[journey-to-the-attic]

3rd anni req 15: levi / games (i.e. amogus)

ao3 link (i recommend looking at the end note of this one after you're done reading!! there is some supplementary stuff :^)

note: okay i did intend on fnaf for this prompt, but when it came to it i couldn't figure out how to write a proper thing - so amongus it was. thus the request list i published is a little inaccurate- hope you don't mind, vari! (requested by @valenrien

∎ ∎ ∎ ∎ ∎

“Ready?” Levi asks as soon as I slip into his room. “I’m all set up.”

“Ready,” I confirm, heaving myself over the edge of the bathtub and landing smoothly on a mound of cushions. “Are they online yet?”

“Raphael’s here,” Levi says, running his orange crewmate in circles around a completely stationary grey one. “Hang on, I’m gonna teach him how to put a hat on.”

“You do that…” I tip myself upside down, hanging my legs over the edge of the tub, then pull out my D.D.D. and ask, “Did Thirteen say she’d be free?”

“Should be. Hey, there’s Simeon.” Clicking, then a rustle as Levi turns to glance at me. “You’re gonna drop that on your face.”

“It’ll be fine,” I dismiss as the game boots up. Mammon’s out, so I decide to nick his colour for the game. “Thirteen in. Aw, look!”

Raphael’s little grey crewmate is wearing a halo. Simeon is still standing completely still in the middle of the waiting room. I’m not entirely sure if he remembers how to control the game.

“Solomon’s in,” says Levi over his shoulder, tapping the table restlessly. “Luke should— there he is. That leaves Diavolo, Barbatos…”

“...that’s everyone,” I conclude a few minutes later as Mephistopheles warps in. “Has Simeon moved yet?”

“Uhh, he walked a bit.” Levi types something at lightning speed.

-

[ Leviachan: simeon r u good ]

[ Salmon: We’re handling it ]

[ Mephistoph: The colour selection here is atrocious ]

[ Leviachan: just pick one n we can start ]

[ SSSime: 1 ]

[ SSSime: Pleas ]

[ Salmon: Could we get another five minutes? ]

[ Leviachan: fine ]

-

“I still don’t know what the plan is,” I say, setting my phone down as we wait for Simeon to get his bearings.

“Do we need one?” Levi asks, fiddling with a speaker. “We just need to point at Solomon.”

“Yeah, but if he is the impostor…”

“Eh, then we can wait ‘til the next game. Do you want your playlist on?”

“Oh, sure.” A bassline starts up. “...but we have to have a strategy, right? Otherwise everyone’ll know we’re trying to pull one over on them.”

“Eh… got any ideas?”

I hum. “Well, we need to keep track of him, otherwise we'll give it away if we accuse him when he has an alibi. So it won’t matter too much if one of us dies - we can track him better if one of us is a ghost. It’ll be a problem if we both die, but we might look suspicious if we just stick together the whole time - especially if someone figures out we’re trying to point to him. If we’re lucky, we put the idea in their heads, and they’ll start thinking everything he does is suspicious. We have to play the long game, though, or else they’ll vote him out in the first round and it won’t be any fun.”

“...you’ve been reading with Satan too much,” Levi concludes, but shoots me a grin. “Nice thinking, Counting on you, mastermind.”

Simeon’s little crewmate has started running excited circles around a motionless Barbatos. Diavolo is still cycling through hats, but everyone else seems ready. I give Levi a thumbs up, and he hits start.

“...huh.”

Levi glances over as the game loads in. “You okay?”

“Fine, yeah. Let’s split up first…”

I get a little worried about Simeon - he remains completely immobile at the main table for a good minute after the game begins, but soon enough he’s on his merry way. I head down to electrical, where Barbatos is evidently already having trouble with that spinning button-match task. I stop by the wires on the wall; I can tell when he finally completes it, because his little crewmate actually seems to jump when he notices me in there with him.

He comes a little closer. I step away from the panel and run a quick circle around him. He doesn’t move for a moment, but then does the same thing, and is soon on his way off to the next task, passing Mephistopheles as he leaves. I soon follow.

The action starts soon after that. I’m standing by one of the data download nodes when the buzzer goes off. Body reported!

-

[ Leviachan: where ]

[ 13: Electrical ]

[ Diavolo: Haha!! This game is delightful!! ]

[ Barbatos: If you could concentrate. ]

[ Barbatos: I was there earlier. I believe I passed the deceased on my way out. ]

[ Barbatos: I believe IK is innocent. We were alone in there for a while, but we both left unscathed. ]

[ detectiveik: barbatos is safe ]

[ Salmon: Barbatos, it’s just a game. You don’t need to type like you’re writing a telegram from the warfront ]

[ Leviachan: didn’t i see u go into electrical? ]

[ Salmon: Did you?? I haven’t been yet ]

[ Leviachan: pretty sure i did. 13 did u see him leave ]

[ 13: Don't think so ]

[ SSSime: How DO i VOt ]

[ Luke: We’re voting already? ]

[ Raph: Too soon to make any conclusions. Let’s play it safe ]

-

“Sowing the seeds,” Levi says triumphantly. “Hang on - what if he has medbay? If anyone sees…”

“I don’t think he even knows you can use it like that. He’s just gone into admin, anyway.” I run down and turn right, passing Luke.

A little while later, alarm goes off. Levi tuts. “Comms is down.”

“Oh, what? I’m up by O2. Hang on, I think Simeon’s stuck.”

“Solomon’s still in admin. There’s no one else in there…”

Body reported!

-

[ Barbatos: What a shame, Young Master. ]

[ Raph: Found him by the communications thing.

[ Raph: Whoever killed him left already. ]

[ Leviachan: any1 got an alibi ]

[ detectiveik: i’ve been watching simeon run in circles so i think he’s alright ]

[ Barbatos: And IK and I have both testified to each other’s innocence. ]

[ 13: Luke’s been with me on the left ]

[ Luke: Yes ]

[ 13: We were both on our way to fix the sabotage ]

[ detectiveik: solomon? ]

[ Salmon: I can’t get the damned card swipe to work ]

[ Leviachan: cmon its really not that hard ]

[ Leviachan: isn’t there a vent in admin ]

[ detectiveik: does it go anywhere close to comms? ]

[ Leviachan: idk i don’t remember ]

[ Salmon: I couldn’t vent! I was stuck doing the cards! ]

[ 13: Yeah right. Does anyone know where you were for that whole round? ]

[ Salmon: Yes?? Admin, obviously ]

[ Luke: It’s not like we were watching you in there the whole time though ]

[ Salmon: Well I haven’t left ]

[ SSSime: WHAtre we doing ]

[ detectiveik: i think it’s still a bit early to vote ]

[ Salmon: Yes good call ]

[ Raph: Hmm. ]

-

“...I think we’re getting there,” Levi says as we both leave the cafeteria together. “Who do you reckon it actually is, then? It looks like Thirteen and Luke are both clear… unless one of them just moved really fast. Or Diavolo was dead before comms even went down.”

“Could’ve been… maybe one of us should be tracking vitals. D’you wanna check security?”

“Sure. Oh, I’ve gotta do the fuel task down below first. Don’t wanna slack off.”

We pass Simeon on his way into the reactor. I think I see someone already on the cameras, but I don't get a long enough look at them to tell who it is.

There isn't peace for very long. Levi’s only just finished filling the fuel when another alarm goes off.

“Reactor’s down,” I say aloud, even though neither of us really need the confirmation - we're both already on our way there. “D’you wanna take the bottom one? I’ve got— oh. Hang on.”

Body reported!

-

[ Luke: SIMEON!!!! ]

[ Raph: That was fast ]

[ Luke: Raphael! Simeon’s dead!! ]

[ Raph: Ah, what a shame ]

[ detectiveik: top of reactor ]

[ detectiveik: might’ve been killed before sabotage but there's a vent right next to him as well ]

[ 13: Impostor pulled the same trick again? Really not slick ]

[ detectiveik: i think i saw someone in security just before as well ]

[ Barbatos: That's nearby. But that also could have been anyone. ]

[ Salmon: Well, I’ve been in admin, so it wasn't me ]

[ Leviachan: dude are you still on the card swipe ]

[ Luke: Maybe you should do a different task first? ]

[ Salmon: Nonono. I’ve got it. I can feel it. Next time it will work ]

[ detectiveik: are we going to avenge simeon or not ]

[ Barbatos: We still lack conclusive evidence, It might be wise to hold off on vengeance for now. ]

[ 13: Sure, if you stop using all those stupid big words ]

[ Barbatos: We shouldn't vote just yet. We don't have enough reason to. ]

[ 13: Now was that so hard ]

[ Raph: Makes sense to me. ]

-

Levi and I split up again this time. I stop to watch Raphael blast some asteroids - Barbatos runs past on his way to the cafeteria and briefly detours to run a loop around me. (Out in the real world, idling as he waits for some data to upload, Levi reaches into one of his drawers and tosses me a pack of gummy candy.)

Raphael finishes his task and goes straight down to shields. I toss one of the peach-flavoured ones into my mouth, then say, “Well, I don’t think Simeon's it."

“Duh. Hey, Solomon’s in admin again. Ooh, now he’s leaving… I’m gonna tail hi— argh! Oh, that’s just Barbatos.”

“Did Solomon get the card swipe?” I come back up from navigation and head to the cafeteria through weapons. “Did the task bar go up at all?”

“No idea. I turned it off in the lobby.”

“Now we’re never gonna know if the ghosts are slacking off.”

He snorts. “Well, we know Simeon definitely is.”

“Hey, not on purpose. And maybe he’ll be better at it now. It’s easier to get around when you can go through the walls.”

“Sure, sure. I reckon I’ll check admin now, actually— uh oh!”

Body reported!

-

[ Leviachan: admin ]

[ 13: Hmmmm… Solomon’s haunt. ]

[ Salmon: No!! I left admin ages ago! ]

[ Salmon: Barbatos saw me ]

[ Raph: Barbatos is dead ]

[ 13: Sure, he saw you. When you KILLED him ]

[ Luke: So it’s Solomon? ]

[ Salmon: Wait no ]

[ detectiveik: do we have proof of that ]

[ Leviachan: well whos been in admin this whole time? ]

[ Leviachan: isn’t it super convenient that barbatos dies as soon as solomon leaves ]

[ Luke: When you put it like that… ]

[ Salmon: Isn’t that just proof that I was keeping admin safe with my sorcerly presence (·•᷄∩•᷅ ) ]

[ detectiveik: please don’t ever use that again ]

[ 13: I’m voting you out right now ]

[ Raph: Hold on. We don’t have any hard evidence ]

[ Raph: All we know is that Solomon is the most probable suspect, but we can’t confirm that right now ]

[ Salmon: IT’S NOT ME ]

[ Salmon: I’ve been perfectly well behaved and trying to do my tasks ]

[ Luke: You’ve been doing ONE task and four of us are already dead!! ]

[ Leviachan: every1 who isn’t dead weight sound off. what tasks do we have left ]

[ Raph: I’m finished. ]

[ detectiveik: me too ]

[ Luke: I’ve still got to finish the test tube one ]

[ Leviachan: and ofc solomon still has like 10000 things left ]

[ Leviachan: if u even HAVE tasks.. sus ]

[ Salmon: I haven’t done anything wrong! ]

[ 13: We’ll see about that ]

-

“...tie,” Levi concludes as the voting ends. “Wait, who voted for Thirteen??”

“Solomon, probably.” I watch his little crewmate run straight up into the top corner of the cafeteria, probably to sulk. “...aww. Poor guy."

Everyone else has already left. I decide to do the same and head left to the medbay.

“Don’t go spilling the beans ‘cause you feel bad,” Levi says warily. “At least wait until we get him out, alright?”

“Why are you mad at him, anyway?”

“I’m not mad,” He objects. “Just betrayed. He knew I wanted that pack! He doesn’t even collect those cards! And— and what’s the deal, dangling it over me for a pact? How shallow does he think I am, huh?!”

“It’s like a best friend bracelet from him,” I say, running a brief loop around electrical and then heading out towards storage. “He does it to everyone in the Newspaper Club, too.”

“Well, it’s not funny. I’m not in the market for making any new pacts, anyway. Or new best friends... do they usually come in two-in-one deals?”

“He’d have way too many best friends to keep up with if they did.”

“Guess you’re right. I’m just lucky, then.”

Body discovered!

-

[ Raph: I found Thirteen in that big room with the boxes ]

[ Raph: Oh. Luke’s dead, too? ]

(“This is it!” Levi whispers loudly.)

[ detectiveik: a double murder? unprecedented ]

[ Leviachan: uhh we really should vote someone out. there’s only four of us now ]

[ Salmon: Not unless you’re sure! Because if you get it wrong, it’s a guaranteed win for the impostor ]

[ Leviachan: good thing we’re gonna get u out first then ]

[ Salmon: What???? ]

[ Salmon: It’s not me! ]

[ Leviachan: who do YOU think it is then huh ]

[Salmon: I don't know! I was in the cafeteria the whole time ]

[ Leviachan: well then even if u weren’t killing, u were skiving ]

[ detectiveik: solomon i don’t think any of us have seen you this whole round ]

[ Salmon: But I really haven’t done anything. Won’t anyone believe me? ]

[ Leviachan: u’ve been sus from the beginning ]

[ Leviachan: just accept it, we caught you ]

[ detectiveik: sorry solomon ]

[ Salmon: What did I do?!!? ]

[ Salmon: Someone??? Anyone??? ]

[ Salmon: Raphael….. please say something ]

[ Raph: I think you killed them, yes. ]

[ Raph: I have to admit that you acted the fool quite convincingly though ]

[ Salmon: Am I alone in this world ]

[ Salmon: I feel like I'm going crazy ]

[Raph: No hard feelings, Solomon. Justice is justice.]

[...]

[Salmon was ejected.]

-

The game, of course, doesn’t end. The map fades back into view, leaving the three of us standing alone at the centre table.

“Nice one!” Levi crows, and we send each other an air-high-five from across the room. “So it was Raphael? Didn’t think he had it in him. Guess there’s no winning for us now.”

“Nope…”

“He’s not chasing us,” He notes, running around the centre table, then stopping by me. “Or sabotaging anything. What’s he planning? He’s basically got it in the bag now.”

"Hmm."

"He's not even moving. Weird..."

“Very weird,” I agree, then hit kill.

Levi’s yelp rings through the whole house.

#the formatting on this is kinda wonky in tumblr so please do read it on ao3 instead if it's tricky to navigate! #3rd anni event #obey me leviathan #jtta ik #idk if i should tag the others #obey me solomon #obey me raphael #i'll just leave it at them since they're the most prominent #writing

[lingthusiasm]

Transcript Episode 86: Revival, reggaeton, and rejecting unicorns - Basque interview with Itxaso Rodríguez-Ordóñez

This is a transcript for Lingthusiasm episode ‘Revival, reggaeton, and rejecting unicorns - Basque interview with Itxaso Rodríguez-Ordóñez'. It’s been lightly edited for readability. Listen to the episode here or wherever you get your podcasts. Links to studies mentioned and further reading can be found on the episode show notes page.

[Music]

Gretchen: Welcome to Lingthusiasm, a podcast that’s enthusiastic about linguistics! I’m Gretchen McCulloch. I’m here with Dr. Itxaso Rodríguez-Ordóñez who’s an Assistant Professor at California State University, Long Beach, USA, and a native speaker of Basque and Spanish. Today, we’re getting enthusiastic about new speakers and language revitalisation. But first, some announcements. Thank you to everyone who helped share Lingthusiasm with a friend or on social media for our seventh anniversary. We still have a few days left to fill out our Lingthusiasm listener’s survey for the year, so follow the link in the description to tell us more about what you’d like to see on the show and do some fun linguistics experiments. This month’s bonus episode was a special anniversary advice episode in which we answered some of your pressing linguistics questions including helping friends become less uptight about language, keeping up with interesting linguistics work from outside the structure of academia, and interacting with youth slang when you’re no longer as much of a youth. Go to patreon.com/lingthusiasm to get access to this bonus advice episode, many more bonus episodes, and to help keep the show running.

[Music]

Gretchen: Hello, Itxaso, welcome to the show!

Itxaso: Hi! It’s so good to be here. I feel so honoured because we use so many of your episodes in our linguistic courses. For me, being here is exciting.

Gretchen: Hello to Itxaso and also to Itxaso’s students who may be listening to this episode.

Itxaso: I dunno if I want them to find this episode, though. [Laughter]

Gretchen: They’re gonna find it. Let’s start with the question that we ask all of our guests, which is, “How did you get interested in linguistics?”

Itxaso: I feel like, for me, it was a little bit accidental – or at least, that’s how you felt at that time. I grew up in a household that we spoke Basque, but my grandparents didn’t speak Basque. My parents spoke it as non-native speakers. They were new speakers. They learnt it in adulthood, and they made me native. But I was told all my life, “You speak weird. You are different. You’re using this and that.” Later on, I was told that, “Oh, you’re so good at English. You should become an English teacher because you can make a lot of money.” And I thought, “Oh, yeah, well, that doesn’t sound bad.” When I went to undergrad, I started taking linguistic courses, and then I went on undergraduate study abroad thanks to a professor that we had at the university, Jon Franco. That’s where I realised, “Wait a minute. All of these things that I’ve been feeling about inadequate, they have an explanation.”

Gretchen: So, people were telling you that your Basque wasn’t good.

Itxaso: Yeah.

Gretchen: Even though you’re the hope and the fruition of all of this Basque language revitalisation. Your parents went to all this effort to learn Basque and teach you Basque, and yet someone’s telling you your Basque is bad.

Itxaso: Absolutely. You know, people wouldn’t tell you straight to your face, “Your Basque is really bad,” but there was all these very subtle ways of feeling about it, or they would correct you, and you were like, “Hmm, why do they correct it when the person next to me is using the same structure, but they don’t get corrected.” As a kid, I was sensitive to that, and then I realised, “Wow, there’re theories about this.”

Gretchen: That’s so exciting. It’s so nice to have “Other people have experienced this thing, and they’ve come up with a name and a label for what’s going on.”

Itxaso: It’s also interesting that as a kid I did also feel a little bit ashamed of my parents, who’re actually doing what language revitalisation wants to be done. You want to become active participants. But I remember when my parents would speak Basque to me, they had a different accent. They had a Spanish accent. I was like, “Ugh, whatever.” Sometimes it would cringe my ears; I have to admit that. As a kid, I was in these two worlds of, okay, I am proud and ashamed at the same time of what is happening.

Gretchen: And the other kids, when you were growing up, they were speaking Basque, too?

Itxaso: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I grew up in Gernika, right, and we have our own regional variety. I remember on the playground sometimes they would tell me, “Oh, you sound like the kids in the cartoons.”

Gretchen: So, you’re speaking this formal, standard Basque that your parents had learned as second language learners, and the other kids are still speaking the regional variety of Basque but hadn’t gone through the standardisation process and become the one that’s in the media.

Itxaso: Correct. My first variety was actually this standardised variety that nobody spoke when it was created in the ’60s. My parents learnt this in their 20s, and then that’s the variety that I was exposed to at home. But then you go in the street, and they’re like, “Oh, you sound like Doraemon,” because that’s what we watched.

Gretchen: The character in the cartoon, yeah.

Itxaso: Yeah, in the cartoon. It was like, “Oh, okay, do I? All right.” Then I started picking up the regional variety.

Gretchen: Right. You pick up the regional variety as well from the kids. Then what did your parents think of that if they think they’re speaking the fancy one?

Itxaso: Oh, my goodness. It was absolutely hilarious because my mom, she always thought that the Standard Basque is the correct way because that’s the one that you learnt in the school, so she did have this idea that literacy makes this language important. You know, for Basque revitalisation, that’s important. But I remember we were at home, and she would correct me because, for instance, as any spoken language, you would also shorten certain words. She would always say, “Oh, that’s not how you say it. You’re supposed to say this full word. You have to pronounce the entire word.” Then I said, “But Mom, everybody else uses this other variation,” especially with verbs, which are a little bit complicated, right. Then she would say, “Oh, Itxaso, you know what? I gave you this beautiful Basque, and then you went out to the school, and they ruined it all for you.” Then in order to come back, I would tell her, “Mom, but I am the native speaker here.” So, these tensions of who is right.

Gretchen: Who is the real Basque speaker, who is the best Basque speaker, and in this context where, in theory, your goals should be aligned because you’re all trying to revitalise Basque, and in theory, you all have the same goal, and yet, you’re getting criticism from different sides, and people are criticising different groups in this – but in theory, you have the same goals.

Itxaso: I think growing up in this paradox of I’m also criticising my mother, who actually, thanks to her, I get this language. In the revitalisation process, I think this negotiation is fascinating that you’re constantly being exposed to.

Gretchen: Constantly being exposed to all these different language ideologies around what is good, what is not good. You went to university, and you started encountering linguistic words for these experiences that you had. What were some of those words?

Itxaso: Some of these words I remember was this “standard language ideology,” that the idea or, in a way, that the standards are constructs that don’t exist. And I was thinking, “Wait a minute, in my language, we have a very clear standard.” We actually have a name for it. We call it “Unified Basque,” or “Euskara Batua.”

Gretchen: “Batua.”

Itxaso: “Batua” means “unified.” It’s associated with a kind of speaker. These are speakers that, like my parents, learned Basque through the schooling system, which today is actually the majority of the Basque-speaking population, at least on the Spanish side. “Standard language ideology” – I was thinking, “What is that? Oh, okay, it’s the thought that we have that these standards exist. How do I make sense of that?” I remember when I was in college, the term “heritage speaker” was thrown a lot.

Gretchen: “Heritage speaker” of Basque. Are you a “heritage speaker” of Basque?

Itxaso: I don’t consider myself a heritage speaker of Basque because – so I have Basque heritage, yes, and no. My dad’s side of the family is from Spain as well, but they also grew up in the Basque Country. This comes also with the last name. Do I have Basque heritage? Yes. But I think our connections with language are a little bit more complicated than the ethnicity per se. It’s like, we have this saying that says that it is Basque who speaks Basque. That was this poet, Joxean Artze, that we used to hear a lot during the revitalisation process. The question is, “What kind of Basque?”

Gretchen: Yeah, like, “Who is Basque enough to speak Basque?” And your parents speak Basque, but your grandparents didn’t speak Basque anymore, but if you go far enough back in your ancestry, somebody spoke Basque. But who counts –

Itxaso: But – yeah. My grandparents didn’t speak Basque. Their parents – maybe they had some knowledge. I dunno how far along. What we do know is that the region where my grandparents grew up in, Basque was already in the very advanced stages of language shift. Also, my grandparents were born in the civil war, so speaking Basque was probably not – it could get you killed.

Gretchen: Yeah. Which is a great reason to say, “Hey, you know what.”

Itxaso: Right. Then later on, this paradox is coming into play. As a 5-year-old kid, you’re not aware that your grandpa, you know, could have been killed if they spoke our language, but at the same time, my dad’s side of the family also was going through some kind of shame because he learnt the language as an adult, and he became in love with the language. This idea of heritage – do you need to be a heritage to be part of the language? It was a little more complicated than that. When I asked my mom, “Why do you learn the language?”, for her, she was always, “Because my identity now is complete.” But for my dad, it wasn’t the same reason.

Gretchen: Why did you dad learn Basque?

Itxaso: My dad learned Basque because after the dictator died, the revitalisation was very important, and there were a lot of jobs.

Gretchen: Ah, so just economic reasons.

Itxaso: For him, it was pure economics. Then, you know what, if I learn Basque, I’m gonna have more opportunities to have a government job, and a government job is a good job. Then after that, throughout the time, he actually became even more in love with the language, more invested in the revitalisation. He also did a lot of these – bertsolaritza is this oral poetry that we have. It has a very, very long oral tradition in the Basque Country. He read a lot of literature. He taught Basque in the school system. He was also invested in teaching Basque to immigrants as well because he felt like an immigrant himself as well.

Gretchen: And this question of who has Basque heritage, if you’re an immigrant to Basque Country, you are becoming part of that heritage as well.

Itxaso: Yes.

Gretchen: It’s an interesting example of how economic and social and cultural things can really work together for something, like, being able to get a job doing something can allow you to fall in love with it.

Itxaso: Yes, yes.

Gretchen: Or it can be hard to stay in love with something if there’s no way to support yourself while doing it.

Itxaso: Absolutely. I remember that he was always invested in these processes. I have to admit that – now I’m gonna be a little picky again because these ideologies sometimes don’t always fully go – you know, we still have these biases – my dad’s fluency and also competency became stronger and stronger, and then he started to also speak like locals, little by little.

Gretchen: Okay, you know, this standard, unified Basque – he’s like, “Well, maybe I’ll talk like the other local people.”

Itxaso: I remember that my mom was very clear, especially in the beginning – I dunno if she feels that way anymore – that the standard is the correct one. I don’t think my dad did have so many overt ideas about it. For him, in the beginning, it was instrumental, “It’s gonna give me a good job,” and then he fell in love. And then it’s like, “Now, I have to go to the richness” – sometimes he would say that – “of the dialects of the traditions.” But he didn’t have this heritage Basque. He was born in rural Spain, and his parents moved to the Basque Country for economic reasons.

Gretchen: And he sort of fell in love with it anyway. What’s it like for you – because you live in the US now – doing research with Basque and trying to stay in touch with your Basque identity despite not living in the Basque Country?

Itxaso: For me, I have to admit that, again, I came to the United States thinking that I’m going to be an English teacher when I come back. I said, “I’m gonna do my master’s, and then I’m gonna go back to the Basque Country, and I’m gonna teach English.” Uh-uh, no.

Gretchen: Okay.

Itxaso: I realised that the farther I am from home, the more I wanted to understand the processes or how I felt as a kid because I realised, “Wait a minute, I can find answers to the shame and pride that I had growing up.” I was also ashamed of my grandparents that they didn’t know Basque because when he would take me to the park, right, I knew that people would talk with him. I would just go, instead of him looking at me whether I am falling off from the swing, I was checking on him to see who was gonna talk with him because I was ready to do the translation work for him.

Gretchen: Oh, okay, if he can’t talk to the other parents or grandparents or whatever, then you’re like, “Oh, here, Grandad, let me translate for you.”

Itxaso: Yep. Then I remember that I’d think, “Hey, I’m teaching him Basque. He’s practicing, right?” Every Sunday he would come, you know, to our hometown and, before going to the park, I made him study Basque. He was so bad at it. Like, terrible at it. It was very hard for him, and he would tell me, “But Itxaso, why are you doing this to me? I didn’t even go to school.” I mean, he didn’t have much schooling even in Spanish. I said, “Don’t worry. If you’re Basque, you have to speak Basque.” Those were some of the – and I was 5 or 6. I was so happy, right. At the same time, I had this very strong attachment to him but also internalised shame that in my family intergenerational transmission was stopped. As a 5-year-old kid, you don’t understand civil war – yet. [Laughter]

Gretchen: I hope not.

Itxaso: When I went to graduate school, I realised, “Wait a minute, my teachers were correcting me all the time.” I had this internalised shame that exercised, right. I was told that sometimes I wasn’t Basque enough; sometimes I was being seen as a real Basque. So, what’s happening? This is when I realised that sociolinguistics, which is the field of study that I do, became very therapeutical to me.

Gretchen: You can work through your issues or your family issues and your language issues by giving them names and connecting them with other people who’ve had similar experiences like, “Oh, I’m not alone in having this shame and these feelings.”

Itxaso: Absolutely. And that there were many of us. There were a lot of Spanish speakers in my classroom who, maybe they didn’t have literacy in Spanish, or they had similar encounters of feelings, and I said, “Wait a minute, so we’re not that weird,” and understanding that, in fact, this is quite common. Or there were also speakers of other language revitalisation contexts that I thought, “Oh, wait a minute, I thought we were this isolate case,” and you’re thinking, “No, we have similar feelings of inadequacy, but at the same time, pride.” I used the world of linguistics in general to understand these patterns and also to heal in some way.

Gretchen: No, it’s important.

Itxaso: I almost had a little bit of a rebel attitude in some ways. For me, it was like, “Ha ha! I got you now!”

Gretchen: Like, “You don’t need to make me feel shame anymore because I have linguistics to fight you with!”

Itxaso: There we go! “And now, I’m gonna go back with my dissertation. I’m gonna make sure that you understand that YOU are the one wrong and not me, and that when you correct me, I am also judging you.”

Gretchen: Does it work very well to show people your dissertation and tell them that they’re wrong?

Itxaso: No. [Laughter] Absolutely not.

Gretchen: I was gonna say, if you said this was working, it’s like, “Wow! You’re the first person that I know who wrote a dissertation and everyone admitted that they were wrong.”

Itxaso: Yeah, but then you have this hope.

Gretchen: Yeah.

Itxaso: Then I realised, okay, well, this is my therapeutic portfolio, basically.

Gretchen: At least you know in your heart that you are valid. So, you don’t like the word “heritage speaker,” which I think “heritage speaker” does work for – we don’t wanna say, “No one is a heritage speaker” – but for you in your context, that doesn’t feel like it resonates with you. What is a term that resonates with you for your context?

Itxaso: For me, it resonates more – I consider myself a native speaker of Basque, or my first language is definitely Basque. We have a term for that in the Basque Country, “euskaldun zahar,” and it literally means – “euskal” means “Basque,” “dun” means that you have it, and “zahar” means “old.”

Gretchen: You have the “Old Basque.”

Itxaso: Yeah, you have the Old Basque, which is associated with the dialects or the regional varieties. It has nothing to do with age.

Gretchen: Okay. You’re not an old Basque speaker as in you’re a senior citizen with grey hair, you’re a speaker of Old Basque.”

Itxaso: Mm-hmm.

Gretchen: Compared to a “New Basque” speaker?

Itxaso: There we go. Mm-hmm. A New Basque speaker, right, which we also have a Basque term for that, right, it actually means that you started it in more new times, which for us is associated with the revitalisation.

Gretchen: That’s like your parents.

Itxaso: Exactly. My parents consider themselves “new” speakers of Basque, and the Basque word for that is “euskaldun berri.”

Gretchen: “euskaldun berri.” So, this is “speaker of New Basque” or – and the idea of someone being a new speaker of a revitalised language in general where you learned it in adulthood and maybe you’re trying to pass it onto your kids and give them the opportunities they didn’t have, but you have these challenges that are unique to new speakers.

Itxaso: Absolutely. And oftentimes has to do with the idea of how authentic you are. This is something that is being negotiated, right – these negotiations we’re having in our household. When my mom said, “I know the correct Basque,” and I would basically implicitly tell her, when I was telling her, “But I know the authentic one.” Because of that, those similarly wider ideologies, right, this is how my parents also, little by little, they were able to sprinkle their Standard Basque with some regional “flavour,” as we call it, right. They would change their verbs, and they would start sounding more like the regional dialects.

Gretchen: Are there different contexts in which people tend to use the Standard Basque versus the older Basque varieties, like either formal or informal contexts, writing, speaking, like, official contexts or intimate contexts? Are there some differences, sociolinguistically, in terms of how they get used?

Itxaso: Yeah. For somebody that, for instance, I consider myself also bi-dialectal in Basque in the sense that I speak the regional variety now even if my first variety was actually the standard. I use the Standard Basque to write. But that is only part of the mess or the beauty or the complexification because those people that started learning Standard Basque in the school, sometimes, they might feel that their standard is too rigid to be able to have these informal conversations. One of the things that a lot of new speakers of Basque are doing is, in fact, creating language.

Gretchen: To create an informal version of the standard. Because it’s one thing to speak it in a classroom or something, but if you’re going to go marry someone and raise children in this and you wanna be able to have arguments or tell someone you love them or this sort of stuff maybe this thing that’s very classroom associated is too fancy-feeling for that context.

Itxaso: The same way that they don’t wanna sound like the kids in the cartoons, like Doraemon, for instance. [Laughter]

Gretchen: That’s not how real people sound.

Itxaso: Knowing that a standard was necessary for our survival, for the language to survive, at least during those times, but at the same time, we need to get out of this rigidity that this standard might give us. The new speakers in many ways are the engineers of the language.

Gretchen: The original creation of Standard Basque in the 1980s was taking from all of these different regional varieties and coming up with a version that could be written, and you could have one Basque curriculum that all of the schools could use rather than each region trying to come up with its own curriculum, which is logistically challenging.

Itxaso: Absolutely. The Standard Basque was created, finally, in 1968, and little by little being introduced in the educational purposes. And the education in the ’80s, too, is when [exploding noise] bilingual schools skyrocketed, and the immersion programme became the most common one.

Gretchen: And this is immersion for kids, for adults, for everybody?

Itxaso: For kids. You start with kindergarten or, I dunno the terms here in the US, but 2- or 3-years-old, all throughout university. Of course, that went through different stages. Of course, there’s some degrees in university that might not be fully taught in Basque, but overall, little by little, I mean, in the past four years, a lot of that has been done.

Gretchen: What’s it like for you now going back to the Basque Country being like, “Wow, revitalisation is done. It’s complete. Everything is accomplished. We have nothing to worry about anymore.” Is this the case?

Itxaso: Absolutely not. There’s still debates going on. One of the big debates that have been talked – so we have sociolinguistic surveys that we wanna measure how successful is this standard, and what does that even mean. All the people who learned Basque in the schools, like my parents, are they actually using the language all the time? Or even if you grew up speaking Basque. The reality is that Basque revitalisation has been very successful in creating bilinguals. Most of the population, if you are 40 or younger – especially here I’m talking about the Basque Country in the Spanish side because the French side does not have the same governmental support that we do. The answer is that some surveys show that Basque is not as spoken as it is acquired.

Gretchen: People learn it in the schools in the immersion programmes, but then, the kids are playing on the playground, maybe they’re not using it as much, or you’re going into a store, and you’re buying some milk or something, and you’re not necessarily using Basque for these day-to-day interactions.

Itxaso: Correct. I remember when I was doing my own fieldwork and collecting data for my dissertation, I remember that I would ask people from the city because this is where the revitalisation was most impactful because this is where Basque was least spoken before the standard was implemented. That was a – oh, my goodness. There is this saying that we have that Basque is being used with children and dogs.

Gretchen: Okay. [Laughter]

Itxaso: And then I started to notice – and, you know, my sister, she uses Basque with her friends, but at home, she would use a lot of Basque with the dog that she got a few years ago. I was so surprised because then our interactions back home become more Spanish-dominant with time. I was like, “Oh, my goodness. Is this true?” I started to notice. In fact, some adults that would talk Basque to their children but also to the dogs, but later on, a lot of the adult interactions.

Gretchen: But then when you grow up, you use Spanish. You have this ideology of “Okay, well, it’s important for children to have Basque, but then you grow up and you put it away,” which doesn’t sound that great.

Itxaso: Meaning that the normalisation of Basque, it hasn’t started.

Gretchen: It has succeeded at some level, yeah.

Itxaso: Absolutely. But the work is not completely done yet. I don’t think it’s ever gonna be – I mean, when I say it’s never gonna done meaning that you always have new processes or new challenges. One thing that I did notice – so the last sociolinguistics survey showed two very interesting trends in the opposite direction. The first one was that new speakers, and especially young new speakers from the city, they’re starting to embrace Basque in their daily life interactions. They’re adopting the language and using it and engineering it and making it more informal. In fact, we have different standard Basques that are starting to emerge in one city, in Bilbao. Another one might be emerging in Vitoria-Gasteiz, which is the capital. And the other one – San Sebastián. There’s still a standard but with some flavours. People are documenting that. The other one is that in certain Basque-speaking regions or traditional speaking regions like my hometown, for instance, that the use of Basque among teenagers has actually dropped a little bit – slightly. I have noticed that, too, when I go back. I was thinking, “Why would that be? Why is it that teenagers might see” –

Gretchen: You have to think that Basque is cool as a teenager.

Itxaso: Exactly. I also noticed different kinds of trends. When I grew up in the ’90s, during my rebel times, we loved punk. We loved rock.

Gretchen: Was there Basque music in rock and punk and this sort of stuff?

Itxaso: Oh, my goodness, Berri Txarrak, which translates to “bad news.”

Gretchen: We should link to some Basque music in the shownotes so people can listen to it if they want.

Itxaso: We loved it. Little by little, more soft rock became more popular. This is still popular. But I noticed in the past five years or so that reggaetón is –

Gretchen: The young people are listening to reggaetón. Is there reggaetón in Basque?

Itxaso: That’s what we need, I think.

Gretchen: Okay. If there’re any reggaetón artists who are listening to this, and you speak Basque, this is your project.

Itxaso: I’m like – maybe there is. I’m not a big fan of reggaetón.

Gretchen: But it’s what the young people want. It’s not about you anymore.

Itxaso: Exactly. I do wanna hear some Basque – I know there is feminist reggaetón, but I haven’t heard Basque reggaetón as much.

Gretchen: Maybe someone will tell us about it.

Itxaso: Maybe it’s time to adjust to –

Gretchen: And to keep adapting because it’s not just like, “Oh, we have this one vision of what Basque culture looked like in the past, and you have to be connected to that thing specifically,” it’s that it evolves because it’s a living culture with what else is going on in the world.

Itxaso: Absolutely. This is where the making of what it means to be a speaker of a minority language also comes into play. I know that in many Indigenous language revitalisation processes hip hop music has been extremely important in the process of language revitalisation. Maybe we do need some Basque reggaetón.

Gretchen: All right. Sounds good. I’m sold. Basque is famous among linguists as being a language that’s spoken in Europe but that’s not ancestrally related to any of the other Indo-European languages. This makes it famous, but also, I dunno, how does this make you feel?

Itxaso: Aye yae yae yae yae. It makes me feel good and bad at the same time because it’s like, “Oh, you know about Basque? That’s awesome!”, but then, “Oh, we’re being told that this is what you know about Basque,” which is this “exotic” language, and I’m like, “No, no.” That’s the part that I’m like, “No, we’re normal, too.”

Gretchen: “We’re also just people who’re speaking a language trying to go about our lives.” It also has things that are in common with other language revitalisation contexts – I’m thinking of Gaelic and Irish in Scotland and Ireland and lots of Indigenous language contexts in the Americas, in Australia. There’s so many different places where there’s a language that’s been oppressed, and it’s hard to say what is Indigenous in the Spain-France context, but definitely big governments have said, “Oh, you should all be speaking Spanish,” “You should all be speaking French,” and you have to struggle to make this something that is recognised and funded and important and prestigious and all of this stuff.

Itxaso: Absolutely. And for the first time in the history of the Basque language, now we are considered a “modern” language – another stereotype that oftentimes – “Oh, you are such an old language!” And I’m thinking, “But we speak it today.”

Gretchen: It’s not only ancient speakers. There’s still modern people speaking Basque.

Itxaso: Yes, and we have a future. We can do Twitter. We can do Facebook. We can do social media.

Gretchen: You can do Reggaetón.

Itxaso: Reggaetón in Basque. We can do a lot of things in Basque. People associate us oftentimes with these ancient times from the lands of the Pyrenees and caves. I’m like, “Great.”

Gretchen: But you’re not living in caves now.

Itxaso: Exactly. And when they tell us, “Oh, you are this unique language and so weird,” and I’m like, “We’re not weird. We’re unique like any other language, but we also have similar processes.”

Gretchen: Ultimately, every language is descended from – like, languages are always created in contact with other people, so there’s this ancestral descendant from whatever people were speaking 100,000 years ago that we have no records of. Everything is ultimately connected to all of the other humans, even if we aren’t capable of currently tracing those relationships with what we have access to right now.

Itxaso: Even within among linguists, right, it has been debated – Basque has been compared to possibly every language family out there. Even Basque people, “Oh, we found a connection! Maybe we are connected to the languages of the Caucasus.” All Basque linguists just roll their eyes thinking, “Here we go again.”

Gretchen: “Here’s another one.”

Itxaso: This idea of also looking at the past has been very important to understand our existence, but also it’s important to understand that we have a future, and that one is going to form the other in many ways. When they say, “Oh, where is Basque coming from?”, I’m like, “I dunno if we’re ever gonna find that out.”

Gretchen: I dunno if that’s the most interesting question that we could be asking because it’s hard to have fossils of a language. Writing systems only go back so far, and the languages being spoken and signed much, much earlier than that, we just don’t know because they don’t leave physical traces in the air.

Itxaso: What is fascinating is that, so recently, there has been some evidence – they found some remains that, in fact, Basque was written before the standard or before when we thought. Initially, we know that the first Basque writings were names in tombs, in graveyards. Now, we actually have some evidence – or at least they found some evidence – that Basque might have been used for written purposes also and that the Iberian writing system was used for that. They’re still trying to decode.

Gretchen: Maybe we could link to a little bit of what that looks like if there’s some of that online, too.

Itxaso: It looks like a hand. The text looks like a hand, and there’re five words there. They have only been able to decode one word.

Gretchen: But they think that word is Basque?

Itxaso: Yes.

Gretchen: Cool.

Itxaso: We will see. I mean, stay tuned.

Gretchen: Further adventures in Basque archaeology, yeah.

Itxaso: Even for Basque people that is actually really exciting. That’s where the part of like, “Oh, maybe we know where we come from!” We’re like, “We actually come from maybe there,” or I dunno, does that make my dad less Basque for that?

Gretchen: And does that make the new speakers less valid? But it’s still kind of cool to find out about your history.

Itxaso: Yes, and that this history’s so complex. It’s also entrenched in our real life today. It’s still important to us in some ways.

Gretchen: You also co-wrote a paper that I think has a really great title, and I’d love you to tell me about the contents of the paper as well. It has a very interesting topic. It’s called, “Bilingualism with minority languages: Why searching for unicorn language users does not move us forward.” What do you mean by a “unicorn language user”?

Itxaso: Well, first of all, I have to admit that this title was by the first author, Evelina. I mean, amazing. What we mean by “unicorn language users” is that when we study languages, or when we think of people who speak languages, there is that stereotypical image that comes to our mind, and it oftentimes has to be, “Oh, maybe a fluent speaker or a native speaker.” But what does that even mean in a minority language context where language transmission has been stopped and then back regained in a completely different way? Then you also have these ways of thinking from the past intermingled with the modern reality. Who is a Basque speaker?

Gretchen: Right. Is it true that basically every Basque speaker at this point is bilingual?

Itxaso: Absolutely. When you do research with Basque, and with many minority languages, you have to do it in a multilingual way of thinking because if there is a minority, it’s for a reason.

Gretchen: You can’t find this unicorn Basque speaker who’s a monolingual you can compare to your unicorn Spanish monolingual – well, there are Spanish monolingual speakers – but trying to have this direct comparison is not something that’s gonna be realistic. Your co-authors of this paper are speakers of Galician and Catalan –

Itxaso: Also, Greek.

Gretchen: And also, Greek!

Itxaso: Cypriot Greek.

Gretchen: Cypriot Greek – who have had similar experiences with being – we’re not saying “heritage speakers” – but being speakers that have connected to multiple bilingual experiences.

Itxaso: Minorities, right. It all unites us because all of us had some experience that was within Spain. Either we grew up or we live in the nation state of Spain. What was interesting is that, as we were discussing this paper, all of us had slightly different experiences as users of minority languages. In Catalan or in Galician or Basque and also Cypriot Greek. I said, “How can we understand all of these complex or slightly different ways of experiencing” – and our experiences have also changed throughout our lives. How is it that we use the language – what associations we have, what the language means to us, or the languages mean to us, what kind of multi-lingual practices we actually engage in. At the same time, I remember that in the paper we also reflected a little bit on how we also engaged in our research in these unicorn searches in the beginning and how to unlearn that.

Gretchen: Because when you’re first trying to write a paper about Basque, and you’re saying, “Okay, I’m gonna interview these Basque speakers, and I’ve got to find people who are the closest to monolingual that I can,” or who embody these sort of, “They learned this language before a certain age,” because your professors or the reviewers for the paper or the journals – what you think people want or these studies that you’ve been exposed to already have this very specific idea of what a speaker is or a language user – because we wanna include signers and stuff as well – what exactly someone is to know a language compared to the reality of what’s going on on the ground which is much more complex than that.

Itxaso: Absolutely. I feel like we have to self-reflect onto how is it that we’re representing and doing research – or the issue of representation becomes really, really, really important. What is it that we’re describing, what is it that we’re explaining, how are we doing it. Sometimes, there’re power dynamics within this knowledge in the field. When you wanna publish a paper in a top journal, there’s certain practices.

Gretchen: And they wanna have a monolingual control group. “Oh, you’ve got to compare everything to English speakers or to Spanish speakers because they’re big languages we’ve heard of.” Like, “Can’t I just write about Basque because there’re lots of papers that are only about English or only about Spanish? Why can’t there be papers only about Basque?”

Itxaso: Exactly. And you are thinking, “Wait a minute, I can’t find a Basque monolingual.” Maybe they exist, but they’re not readily, either, available, or it’s not common –

Gretchen: In a cave somewhere.

Itxaso: Right. We’re like, “Okay, well” – exactly. Or maybe they do live monolingually.

Gretchen: Yeah, but they still have some exposure to Spanish even though most of their life they’re in Basque. And going and finding this 1% of speakers who managed to live this monolingual life – how well is that really representing a typical Basque experience or a breadth of experiences with the language, which, most of which have some level of multilingualism?

Itxaso: Correct. We as researchers sometimes have to pick. When we make those decisions, we sometimes do not make those decisions consciously because a lot of those questions might come from the field. But then this paper also allowed us to reflect on also thinking, “Why is it that I have to put up with this? This is not working properly and describing things that matter to us” – and matter to us as a community, not only as researchers. Why is it that my parents’ varieties do not get represented that well? Why is it that other participants do not make it to the experiment because they get excluded on the basis of just, oh, literacy, and things like that, which becomes a sticking point as well. Who is a unicorn? Well, clearly there are no unicorns. There are many unicorns.

Gretchen: Sometimes, I think that there’s an idea that being, say, a bilingual speaker is like being two monolingual speakers in a trench coat. The thing that you’re looking for, this unicorn-balanced bilingual of someone who uses their languages in all contexts and is completely “fluent” – whatever we mean by that – in all contexts when, in reality, many people who live bilingual or multilingual lives have some language they use with their family or some language they use at the workplace or in public or that they’re reading more or that they’re consuming media in more. They have different contexts in which they use different languages.

Itxaso: Compartmentalisation is very important but not full compartmentalisation either. There’s gonna be a lot of different overlaps – and so many different experiences. Another thing is that I think doing research with new speakers is important is because those experiences may change from year to year.

Gretchen: Your parents’ cohort of new speakers compared to new speakers who are teenagers now – they’re gonna have very different experiences.

Itxaso: Or maybe a new speaker when they are teenagers versus when they’re in the labour market versus when –

Gretchen: They’re having kids or they’re grandparents or something are gonna have very different experiences even throughout the course of their lives.

Itxaso: Even myself, me as a Basque speaker, my way of speaking has also changed or the way I adapt. One of the challenges in the Basque Country has been “What are the processes – or how is it that they decide, ‘I’m gonna speak the language’?” It’s a continuation. This adoption of the language, you don’t fully, suddenly adopt it.

Gretchen: You don’t adopt it and then that’s all, you’re only speaking Basque from now on. It’s a decision that you’re making every day, “Am I gonna speak Basque in this context? Am I gonna keep using it?”

Itxaso: You negotiate that because, obviously, when you speak a minority language, you’re gonna be reminded that certain challenges might come on the way. Some new speakers might like to be corrected, but some might not.

Gretchen: So, how do you negotiate “Are you gonna correct this person?” “Are you not gonna correct this person?” “Can you ask for correction?” What do you want out of that situation?

Itxaso: Some new speakers, they might want to also sound like regional dialects or older dialects, but some others might not. They create other ways to authenticate themselves and to invest in the language and to invest in the practices that come with it. Each person is unique at the individual level, but then at the collective level, things happen, too. Understanding those is very, very, very, very important.

Gretchen: The balance between the language in an individual and also a language in the community or in a collective group of people who know a language – both of those things existing. We’ve talked a lot about new speakers of Basque. Are there also heritage speakers in the Basque context?

Itxaso: There are. In fact, they do exist. The question is, “Who would these people be?” These people could actually be people that grew up speaking Basque at home but maybe, during the dictatorship, they didn’t have access to the schooling in Basque, so they might not have literacy skills in Basque – so older generations.

Gretchen: They might have things that are in common with heritage speakers. The way that I’ve heard “heritage speakers” get talked about in the Canadian or North American context is often through immigrants. Your parents immigrate from somewhere, and then the kids grow up speaking the parents’ language but also the broader community language and that parents’ language as a heritage language. That still happens in Basque; it’s just that wasn’t your experience in Basque, so you wanna have a distinction between heritage and new speakers.

Itxaso: It’s also true that sometimes if we focus too much on the new speakers, we actually also forget describing the experiences of these individuals that we might consider from the literature as heritage speakers because they don’t use this term for themselves.

Gretchen: The heritage speakers don’t use it for themselves?

Itxaso: Yeah. Or the Basque people that say, “I am just a Basque speaker” or a “traditional Basque speaker” but in a different way. They usually say, “But I don’t do the standard.”

Gretchen: “I’m not very good.”

Itxaso: Sometimes, they think that their Basque is not good enough because they don’t have that literacy.

Gretchen: Or they might be able to understand more than they can talk, sometimes happens to people.

Itxaso: Yeah, sometimes it can happen. Or they talk very fluently, but then they say, “I don’t understand the news,” because they’re in the Standard.

Gretchen: Finally, if you could leave people knowing one thing about linguistics, whether Basque-specific or not, what would that be?

Itxaso: I think that – oof, that’s a loaded question, I love it. For me, I would say linguistics is rebellion. Linguistics is therapy. Linguistics is healing. A linguist is the future. [Laughs] And minority languages have a lot to show about that. In this case, it’s Basque – or for me it’s Basque because I’m intimately related to Basque – but those are the key aspects that I would say that you can do therapy through linguistics.

Gretchen: Linguistics is therapy. Linguistics is rebellion. I love it. That’s so great.

[Music]

Gretchen: For more Lingthusiasm and links to all the things mentioned in this episode, go to lingthusiasm.com. You can listen to us on Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts, Spotify, SoundCloud, YouTube, or wherever else you get your podcasts. You can follow @lingthusiasm on Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, and Tumblr. You can get bouba and kiki scarves, posters with our aesthetic redesign of the International Phonetic Alphabet on them, t-shirts that say, “Etymology isn’t Destiny,” and other Lingthusiasm merch at lingthusiasm.com/merch. I can be found as @GretchenAMcC on Twitter, my blog is AllThingsLinguistic.com, and my book about internet language is called Because Internet. Lauren tweets and blogs as Superlinguo. Our guest, Itxaso Rodríguez-Ordóñez, can be found at BasqueUIUC.wordpress.com. Lingthusiasm is able to keep existing thanks to the support of our patrons. If you wanna get an extra Lingthusiasm episode to listen to every month, our entire archive of bonus episodes to listen to right now, or if you just wanna help keep the show running ad-free, go to patreon.com/lingthusiasm or follow the links from our website. Patrons can also get access to our Discord chatroom to talk with other linguistics fans and be the first to find out about new merch and other announcements. Recent bonus topics include a behind-the-scenes interview with Lingthusiasm team member, Martha Tsutsui-Billins, a recap about linguistics institutes, a.k.a., linguist summer camps, and a linguistics advice episode. Also, if you like Lingthusiasm but wish it would help put you to sleep better, we also have a very special Lingthusiasmr bonus episode [ASMR voice] where we read some linguistics stimulus sentences to you in a calm, soothing voice. [Regular voice] Can’t afford to pledge? That’s okay, too. We also really appreciate it if you can recommend Lingthusiasm to anyone in your life who’s curious about language. Lingthusiasm is created and produced by Gretchen McCulloch and Lauren Gawne. Our Senior Producer is Claire Gawne, our Editorial Producer is Sarah Dopierala, our Production Assistant is Martha Tsutsui-Billins, and our Editorial Assistant is Jon Kruk. Our music is “Ancient City” by The Triangles.

Itxaso: Stay lingthusiastic!

[Music]

This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-ShareAlike 4.0 International License.

#language #linguists #lingthusiasm #podcasts #episode 86 #transcripts #interviews #basque #language revitalization #transcript #language acquisition #language ideology #standard language ideology

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Mammon the Service type-

The Submissive type will do anything for the one they love, buy any gift, tell any secret, find any information and even make every wish come true whether their love really wants it or not.

Cross posted on my AO3 (Link in my bio)

You were having an overall shitty day, no, a shitty week. Nothing was going right for you, you couldn't relax for even a second because of some big test one of your teachers decided to spring on you, and even after studying non-stop you completely bombed it!

You got most of the questions right but the professor seemed to hate you and used literally the dumbest reasons to mark you wrong. "It seems he has something against Humans, he did the same thing to Solomon." Satan was also upset, he had spent so much time teaching you only for it to mean nothing because of that teacher.

"ugh, I wish he would just die!" You obviously didn't mean it but you were upset, everyone says things they don't mean when they're blinded by irritation.

But Mammon didn't see it that way, he happened to "Overhear" your conversation with Satan and three days later that same professor was found dead.

It had been a shock to the entire school, you didn't see it yourself thank Diavolo but from what you heard it was anything but pleasant. His eyes were gouged out completely, one of his hands was found a few feet away from the rest of his body and his chest was ripped open, according to someone who saw the gruesome scene.

When you heard the news you were in shock, Satan was the one to tell you. "I.. I know I said I wished he was dead but.. I didn't mean it." You said, hands covering your mouth.

"The timing is quite suspicious but I know you'd never be capable of something so gruesome. If it makes you feel any better I can look into it more." Satan offers in an attempt at comfort.

"Thanks but no, I'd rather not think about it." You felt sick, even though you didn't do anything you felt so guilty as if it was somehow your fault. You decided to go to Mammon, he never failed to cheer you up.

"Hey, Mams?" He seemed to notice your distress immediately.

"Hm? Need something from the great Mammon?" He asked, not wanting to sound too alarmed, he didn't want you to know just how easily he could read you.

"Can we go to your room? I need some comfort right now." Mammon couldn’t describe the amount of euphoria he felt whenever you come to him for things like this.

It made him feel so special, so loved and needed, it was addicting to him the way you treated him as if he mattered.

He brought you to his room quickly, no questions asked. "I can tell something's eatin' ya, what's the matter?" He asked, holding you in a comforting embrace.

He listened intently as you explained how you felt, drying your eyes when tears would escape. “Hey, listen to me, one comment said in anger isn't gonna cause someone to up and die. I get how this can be scary for a human but there's no way you could be at fault.” His words meant more to you than anyone else's.

“I guess you're right, thank you Mammon.” When you smiled at him his gaze softened and he curled himself around you. “Someone clingy today.” You chuckled.

“Is it a crime to wanna hold my human?” your voice was so comforting he nearly fell asleep.

“That's right, just keep smiling. I won't allow anyone or anything to dim your light, not Lucifer, not anyone." Mammon thought to himself as you fell asleep in his arms.

He noticed every change in your expression, every smile, every hum, and every snore. Mammon felt pure bliss as you nuzzled your face into his neck, wanting to be closer to him. He was truly smitten with you, you were the light of his life, his reason to keep going.

If anyone caused your smile to falter he would deal with them personally, usually, he would just threaten or hurt the person that caused you despair but when he heard you say you wanted that teacher dead he couldn't stop himself.

He knew you didn't mean it but that didn't matter in the moment, he did feel guilty, horribly guilty because his actions caused you to feel awful. He was going to make it up to you though, he always would even if you would never know what he did.

Mammon would do anything to keep what he's been doing hidden but something within him snapped when he saw Belphegor’s hands around your neck.

He felt like something was wrong, very wrong and he let his instincts guide him to where you were. When he saw his youngest brother's hands around your neck it was like his most primal instincts took hold of him.

He threw Belphegor off you, “How dare you put your dirty hands on MY HUMAN!” You’ve never seen Mammon so angry, you fell to the floor, hands moving to where Belphogore was just strangling you. The area was already starting to feel sore and you knew there was bound to be a huge bruise.

Your eyes were glued to Mammon who had completely lost it, “Mammon.. Mammon stop!” Your voice was coarse and it hurt to talk but you still called to him, “Mammon please stop you’re scaring me!” You cried, tears escaping your eyes, Mammon only stopped his assault on his brother when he heard you crying.

He was by you in an instant, holding you close to him as tears welled up in his eyes. “You’re ok, it's ok now.” He held you in a comforting embrace and was so happy when you didn't flinch away.

“Mammon!” Your hands clenched around his shirt as you trembled in his arms.

“I’m here, I'm here, you’re ok.” He tried to soothe you but knew this would take a lot more than a soft voice and reassuring words.

“Mammon, what happened!?” Lucifers and the others had run upstairs and saw the aftermath.

“Belphagor tried to kill MC!” Mammon moved to cover your ears so you wouldn't have to endure the yelling that was about to transpire.

At one point Mammon took you back to his room and locked the both of you in there, thanks to Mammon you didn't hear most of the yelling and were very thankful for it.

You were still shaken up and trembling and you couldn't take much more right now. “Is.. did you kill him?” You managed to ask.

“I.. don't know. I didn't check. Would you.. Hate me if I did?” You sniffled and held him tighter.

“No, I could never hate you Mammon never ever, you saved my life! I love you too much to ever hate you.” You didn't even have to think about what you were saying.

Mammon was absolutely stunned, he never thought you could love him, not in the way he loved you. “I love you too MC, no one is ever gonna hurt you again I promise. I’ll do anything to keep you safe, I don't care what I have to do or who I have to hurt I just want you to be safe and happy beside me.” Mammon held you tightly and you just couldn't find yourself being afraid of the implications of that statement.

After that night you willingly turned a blind eye to the disappearances of people who hurt you, you knew it was Mammon's doing but willingly looked the other way. It was comforting knowing Mammon was always there, you felt safer.

#obey me #obey me mammon #obey me mammon x mc #obey me mammon x reader #spooky month yandere shorts