#can u imagine if i go up to my therapist like hey. i have multiple fics which have main themes revolving around self harm !!

[ver0-needs-spxce]

since people absolutely love to ignore how Ajay’s parents abuse also effect her actions, and how Octavio’s actions prompt her REactions, i’ve decided to dedicate a whole rant about it TL;DR AT THE BOTTOM

(i’m the only one that sees her entire character istg)

#1 if Octavio is gonna act like an idiotic, reckless child, then he is going to be treated like one.

ITS NOT INHERENTLY HIS FAULT!!!! but Ajay is not aware of that!! And she’s not obligated to put up with his reckless and compulsive actions! She, before season 12, had barely ever brought up his reckless behavior, and how little he returned her support and care.

Octavio’s actions are his own, yes he was being manipulated by Torres, but Ajay didn’t see it that way, and chose to call him out.

DONT SAY THIS IS WRONG OF HER, BECAUSE OCTAVIO HAD HIS OWN VIEW, and it was “she’s not understanding, because she thinks i’m an idiot”

#2, Octavio owes more to her than any of you seem to acknowledge.

She has been Octavio’s personal doctor and therapist for YEARS. FUCKINgYEARS!!!! If someone who BARELY EVER SUPPORTED me ever were to try and fuck up my mission to stop a terrorist, then i wouldn’t THINK OR EMPATHIZE, i’d??? question?????

The one or two good things Octavio has done for Ajay has kept her putting up with him for their whole friendship, the one time she’s on a breaking point and yells at him is the time she gets perceived as a fucking monster

#3, HE’S NOT THE ONLY ONE WITH TRAUMA THAT AFFECTS HIS ACTIONS??????????????????????

ARE PEOPLE FORGETTING WHEN AJAY LITERALLY ABANDONED HOME FEELING BETRAYED, WAS IN THE FRONTLINES ON A BATTLEFIELD, AND REALIZED THE WEAPONS BEING USED TO HURT INNOCENTS AND HER FRIENDS WERE LITERALLY BEING MADE BY HER PARENTS????

Like, imagine growing up around people who you thought were good DESPITE THEIR ABUSE TO YOU, then finding out they’re MONSTERS??? AND ALMOST BEING KILLED BY TECH THEY MADE?????

Nd people are surprised when she wants people like her parents, like TORRES, to not be put in high positions of power???????

OH WAIR AND NOT TO MENTION OCTAVIO’S ACTIONS INDIRECTLY LED AJAY’S MOM TO TAKE OVER THE CHARITY GROUP AJAY WORKS TIRELESSLY TO FUND????1?/!4!(!;?2!-&@-@/2@

Cherisse “Stereotypical emotionless abuser” Che is now the president of her daughters entire passion and has made it into something completely different??? do u not think Ajay’s going to hold a little resentment to all parties involved???

AND FINALLY, #4, SHE AT LEAST ACKNOWLEDGES HER FUCKED UP ACTIONS.

Octavio denies his dads damage to the outlands, denies that Torres is a terrible person, denies that he did something wrong

ONCE AGAIN, this is because of his manipulation and need for attention, BUT AJAY!!! DOESNT!!!!! SEE THAT!!!!!!

HOW IS SHE SUPPOSED TO SYMPATHIZE WITH SOEMTHINF SHES COMPLETELY IGNROANT TO!1!1!!1!1!1!

At least Ajay has the balls to say “hey, planting the foot is fucked up, i’m aware it’s fucked up, and i’m sorry i’m doing it, but i have to.” she quite literally is only doing this so that she can get a terrorist from having his hands on a planetary system, and to get HER BROTHER BACK.

i don’t even think she cares whether or not Tavi is still friends with her after this, she just cares that he sees Torres for who he really is, and gets out of his situation.

(Also a side rant, i’m aware that Octane doesn’t want to kill Torres because that’s his “dad”, and i’m aware that Ajay technically did the same thing with her mom, but there’s a difference between 20 yr old Ajay who’s still probably processing her whole situation, not wanting to see her mom killed right in front of her, and in front of a bunch of CHILDREN… vs 25 yr old Octavio “Octane” Silva actively preventing a war criminal from taking a throne of power over multiple planets because he heard an audio tape.) [that’s dumbing down Torres’ manipulation but Octane biases haven’t given me any reason to not be jaded] {{i’ve lost sleep over this}} (((also do u not think she considered that if her lil bf tried to fire that bullet then the soldiers and killer attack drones would’ve killed everyone there ?????)))

TL;DR BOTH OCTAVIO AND AJAY ARE FUCKED UP, SHES BETRAYING AND USING HER BESTIE FOR INFO AFTER HE PUT HIS TRUST IN HER AND HE GAVE IP THE WNTIRE PLANETARY SYSTEM TO A CARTOONISHLY EVIL MAN

AJAY ALSO HAS TRAUMA THAT INFLUENCES HER, STOP PRETENDING SHE DOESNT

No Ajay isn’t “more fucked up” than him, i’m not debating this.

oh my god stop comparing her to Duardo his physical mental and emotional abuse could never equate to her calling octane stupid and making him try to see the impact of his actions

also notice how i didn’t put any main octanes tags here bc i’m not an asshole and won’t show people criticism of their comfort characters unprompted omegalol

love u goodbye THIS ISNT OCTANE HATE I LOVE OCTANE AND LIFELINE EQUALLY AND HOW MORALLY IFFY THEY ARE

octane stans please don’t bite me but do please respectfully debate me i lauv talking and bantering abt these two

#apex legends #lifeline #apex lifeline #sorry this is so long #i’m normal #i’m the only one in this fandom that acknowledges her trauma #it’s tiring #i just want ppl to see her like i do #OCTANES NOT PERFECT #STOP TREATING HIM LIKE HE IS #lifelines still my fav #she’s just like me fr #she’s a bitch tho #that’s ok she’s cute

[synchlora]

how do I explain to my therapist tomorrow that the reason I didn't sleep was because I stayed up all night writing a fic abt an enderman hybrid boy having a panic attack and suicidal thoughts until a person he doesn't know if he can trust puts everything aside to help him and basically become his parent despite not hardly knowing him and he can't fucking deal w that so he cries but also crying hurts bc this is fucking BULLSHITTTT AND HES AN ENDERMAN

#hm maybe this says a lot abt me #which is why i should tell my therapist but also will not bc ITS A FUCKING ANGST FIC ABT A MINECRAFT SERVER FOR FUCKS SAKE #im gonna reveal too much abt myself here man #i would like to tell my therapist abt fics that i write #but also i would not like to bc the fics i write are Fucked Up #and also i cannot fathom bringing up the fact that i have Interests to anyone but close friends and absolute strangers #can u imagine if i go up to my therapist like hey. i have multiple fics which have main themes revolving around self harm !! #like what the fuck am i to do w that man #anyway i am sleep deprived and will probably start having godawful fear and intrusive thoughts if i keep this up so good night hopefully #dumbass thots #mcyt tag #suicide mention #self harm mention #caps cw

[cotccotc]

SKZ + a ftm s/o !!

 ◌ ftm (female-to-male) refers to a transgender person who was assigned female at birth, but identifies as male. these people are awesome, lovely, brave, & valid !! (yes that’s part of the official definition !!!! look it up <3)

part of my eight as fate event !! ( requested by @lixsmullet​ ♡ )

genre/s: fluff, skz x ftm reader

warning/s: mentions of dysphoria, mentions of periods, one very brief implication of transphobia (NOT IN REFERENCE TO THE MEMBERS DW), use of various pet names, swearing, my dumb formatting and commentary uwu

wc: ~1.5k

a/n: i hope i did this req justice !!! i made sure to do a lot of research on topics that might come up in this situation so i hope everything is accurate, but also inclusive for multiple types of people within the ftm umbrella. the descriptions might not be too deep but pls know they were written with a lot of care. OH ALSO i included potential pet names they might use !! i really really hope y’all enjoy this :) lmk what u think !!

◌ CHAN

chan’s known for putting other people’s needs before his own, and this is no exception.

he’d be super giving !!! would buy you “world’s best boyfriend” mugs and shit !!! it’s cringe but you love him so it’s fine !!!

more on top of your doctors appointments or meds than you are tbh

boy oh boy… if you take/decide to start taking testosterone……

LOOK OUT HERE COMES THE T POLICE KJDF

he just wants to do everything he can to help you !!!!! whether it means literally helping you stay on top of things and being your at-home (emotional) therapist, or giving you space.

i feel like he’s very good at detecting how a person feels based on their face or body language, so he’d always be on the lookout in case you might be feeling off or dysphoric.

and, as much as it might pain him, he’d give you as much time/space as you need. once again, he has your best interest in mind 24/7 !!! he just loves you so much, you know? 🥺

potential pet names (as long as you’re ok with them !! that goes for each member.): babyboy (we saw this one coming), foxy/sexy (mostly sarcastic but also… True), sunshine

◌ MINHO

a thing that i personally love to imagine: minho introducing you to people as his boyfriend

if anybody ever gives either of you a questioning look afterward (either intentionally or not) he wouldn’t waver at all !!! he’d just stand there and keep smiling. because you’re his boyfriend, duh

constantly reminds you how strong you are !! how super tough and cool you are !!! because it’s true !!!!!!!

i feel like i always make him sound like the ceo of Boyfriend Bootcamp in my reactions but i MEAN???

for example, if you’re ever feeling down (for whatever reason. whether it applies to you being trans or not) he’d be like “MAN UP !!! YOU’RE A WARRIOR !!!! ……. a cute one <3333 bUT A STRONG ONE !!!!!!”

in general, i definitely see him as the type of person who’ll just grab your hand or hold you a little closer in situations where he thinks you might feel uncomfortable, and even if he doesn’t directly acknowledge it, you know there’s a lot of love and care behind the gesture.

also… you’re sad? here, hold a cat.

potential pet names: stud (as a joke.. but it stuck), anything that starts with “my” (like my boy, my baby, my love, etc.)

◌ CHANGBIN

ok listen

i’m not calling changbin lazy

HOWEVER

he will most definitely try and make you do “manly” things for him when he doesn’t feel like it- SJDJJ

imagine his raspy, tough, yet adorably whiny voice being all:

“BAAAABE…. BABYYYYYY….. come lift this fOR MEEEEEEEE”

ESPECIALLYYYY if you’re taller than him oh my Lord

BUT HE’D DENY IT AT ALL COSTS !!!

changbin, pointing to an object on a tall shelf: “BABE can you get this for me? you’re so strong you can do it <3333”

you: “short ass-”

changbin: “hEY”

ALSO if you menstruate, i personally believe that he would be very comforting to have around during that time !!!!! just chillin on the couch !!!!!! vibin !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

your very own personal heating pad <33 jksjfd

potential pet names: babe, bunny, hot stuff (sometimes used for moments of sarcasm !!! there are lots of those..)

◌ HYUNJIN

he’s very sweet and loving with you, which never changes despite anything you might be going through. like ,,,ever.

i can see him being especially sweet and helpful for someone who doesn’t want to or can’t surgically transition !!!!

would do everything he could to emphasize the fact that you’re his favorite boy !!!!

whether it’s through activities, pet names, playful jokes, etc., he always wants to remind you how manly and lovely you are !! lolll

i present to you a thought that just popped up in my head and Will Not Leave:

you might normally be the little spoon, but if you ever feel a bit off about your body or just don’t want to be held, THIS BOY WILL GET CURLED UP IN A LITTLE SPOON POSITION FOR YOU !! SO VERY FAST !!!

(is it also an excuse for him to be the little spoon? yeah maybe it is-)

potential pet names: hubby (regardless of whether or not you’re married sjdsdf), prince, things that start with “my”

◌ JISUNG

asks lots of questions !!!!!!! whenever he’s not sure how to proceed with something or has any general questions about being trans or how to support you, he’ll be completely transparent with you about it.

even though it makes him a lil embarrassed 🥺🥺

will overuse the terms “dude” and “bro” just to make you laugh… but you both know there’s a hidden underlayer of validation there

loves cheering you up when you’re not feeling your best !!!

also ,,,,,,Youtube Research Enthusiast

“hey y/n check this out! let’s try it :D” and it’s a two minute video about how to naturally lower your voice

and you go along with it because a.) he’s cute for suggesting it, b.) it could actually be useful, and c.) he’ll look cute stretching his neck for a few minutes and it would be a valuable use of your time to watch him do it <3 jsjdfh

oh also !!!! we know he’s just Like This anyways, but he will indeed take every chance he gets to kiss random parts of your body like your hands, shoulders, the tip of your nose, and anything else you’re comfy with :) he just likes 2 smooch, what can i say?

potential pet names: anything silly !! bubba, baby/babycakes, good lookin’, etc.

◌ FELIX

this is somewhat similar to what i’d suggested in my nonbinary coming out reaction, but i feel like he’d take a lot of care to make you feel more confident in yourself !!!

especially when it comes to your appearance !!!!! if you ever decide to try out a new hairstyle, different clothing, etc., he’d HYPE YOU UPPPPP omg

you: *exists*

felix: *silly smirk* “my handsome boy.. hehe” 🥺

bakes for u !!!!!!! will come over asap with freshly baked cookies if he even senses you might not be feeling your best !!!!!!!!!!!!!

we all know he’s a real cuddlebug, but since you’ve explained dysphoria to him (to the best of your ability), it’s very important to him that he doesn’t overstep with the physical affection

he might also suggest you use a code word or gesture to signify if it’s ok for him to get all close and cuddly with you !! he knows you have your off days, and the last thing he wants to do is emphasize your insecurities.

he loves you more than anything, and he just wants to see you smile :)

potential pet names: handsome, love, sweets (bc ya know,,, brownie boy things <3)

◌ SEUNGMIN

would regularly spend hours and hours doing research on trans rights, different forms of transitioning, other people’s perspectives (both in his position and yours), etc

honestly i wouldn’t be surprised if he posted some questions on a website like reddit or quora or something from time to time SJDK (but eventually he’d be much more comfortable asking you directly, especially since he knows not every person is the same)

he really just wants to make sure he understands how you feel to the best of his ability in order to best care for you !!!

VERY VERY diligent if he has to adjust to new pronouns. would practice that shit like it’s his JOB.

i think he’d just be very scared of screwing something up, which you might have to console him about from time to time.

you know he’s trying his best to a.) not make this about himself and b.) do everything in his power to support you

sorta similarly to changbin, i think he’d be nice to have around if you’re ever on your period !! overall, this boy would do his RESEARCH

potential pet names: baby, mister (for some playful sarcasm), bear (or baby bear, honey bear, etc.)

◌ JEONGIN

if you’re ever feeling dysphoric, depressed, anxious, or generally not the best, he will do WHATEVER IT TAKES to cheer you up.

you: :(

jeongin: “ok fine you have permission to poke my cheeks all day”

you: :D

jeongin: :D

is also very similar to changbin !!!!! he’ll very dramatically give up on a task that requires even the slightest bit of manliness just so you can do it for him…. because he’s laz- i mean thoughtful <33

ok picture something with me besties (and this is quite random so bear with me):

he buys you cologne. cute !! very sweet of him yes <3 …...but the Backstory-

he had No idea what kind to get, so he went to the store and tried on like 10 different kinds until he realized he could just swatch them on a piece of paper so now he’s covered in cologne and he buys the one he thought was his favorite but he comes home to realize it was the WRONG ONE so he has to go back to the store and test them all again until he finds the one

..all just so he could surprise you & make you feel more masculine :’)

anyways LONG STORY SHORT: innie best boy :D

potential pet names: bun (in reference to bread, of course. you must match.), handsome, sexy (BUT ONLY IF YOU SAY IT RIGHT BACK !!!!!! sexy loaf boyfriends aw <3)

tags: @stayndays, @hanniiesuckle17, @leggomylino, @freckledberries, @kisskissbanggang, @mr-jisung-main, @childofthecosmos, @kpopscape, @skzwriternet, @hyunsins, @sleepylixie, @sunshine-skz, @vera-liscious, @thatrandomoneinthecorner, @cyberskz​, @seungminsaidsta, @somethingrandomworld, @ethan806 ( join my tag list !! )

©️ cotccotc 2021 ~ all rights reserved. do not repost my work on tumblr or other platforms.

#districtninewriters #inkidz #skzwritersclub #fluffyskzclub #straykidsland #*fics #*8 #skz imagines #stray kids imagines #skz #stray kids #skz ot8 #stray kids ot8 #skz reactions #stray kids reactions #tw: gender dysphoria #tw: transphobia #tw: periods

[runrundoyourstuff]

Seasons

(A Steven Universe Fic, 2632 words)

Written with love for a holiday exchange with the wonderful @mimik-u !

Prompt: Steven teaches one of the Diamonds about something beautifully mundane (a la Peridot learning about rain.)

--

It’s almost comical how the Dondai pales in size when compared to the Arm Ship—and the magnitude of the difference only grows as Steven descends the ridge. There are some items, both of human and Gem origin, that seemed larger when he was smaller—when he was younger—when everything mysterious in the world, every new thing he learned about himself, filled him with wonder. The Diamond ships, however, are not among these items. They’re as large now as they always seemed to him, if not quite as foreboding. As are the Diamonds themselves, and he is reminded of this, as Yellow disembarks from her spacecraft.

She doesn’t see him right away. Or if she does notice the car, she doesn’t have the frame of reference to recognize it as his, and even after he parks it beside the ship and gets out, it’s several moments before she turns around and acknowledges him standing there.

“Steven!”

“Hey, Yellow.”

“When I called, I hadn’t realized…” She sputters. “Your...your family returned my message to inform me that you were leaving on a conquest—”

“A conquest?”

“Yes, they said that you were going to travel—”

“Yeah, but not on a conquest!”

“Of course, of course, a scouting mission, then—”

“No! Nothing like that! Just a trip! I just...needed to hit the road for a while. Figure out what’s next.”

“I...right, of course. Your—I mean, the Pearl said that you would be taking a hiatus from your Diamond duties…”

At this, Steven chuckles. “Pearl wants me to.” But then he becomes serious. “I shouldn’t laugh. She’s trying to make sure that I take care of myself. She—all of them really, want to make sure I know that I don’t have to be involved in any Gem stuff if I don’t want to. That it’s my choice. And ya know, it’s true that I don’t want it to be my whole life, not like it was when I was a kid. And because there’s no hierarchy anymore, I do want to give other Gems a chance to manage things on Earth if they want to—to show them it doesn’t always have to be a Diamond, and I’m not a Diamond anyway—but I do want to be involved, ya know? Or at least know what’s going on! I put so much work into everything, and not all of it was bad. I was really proud of a lot of what we did, and the Gems are my family…” A pause. “Anyway, that’s all to say that I routed some of the messages from the Base to my phone.”

“I see. I…” She pauses. “I didn’t intend...You did not need to come. I merely called because I didn’t want to catch you off guard. Give your...our...Given my history, I thought if I showed up on your planet unannounced—”

“It’s not my planet.”

“No, of course not. I meant the planet on which you reside. I’ve already...I did not intend to make you feel that…that you needed to come fix—”

Steven raises a hand. “I know. I just happened to be in the area, so I thought I’d stop by. Say hi.”

“Ah. Alright.” The silence resounds. Yellow’s eyes flit away.

“So,” Steven says after a moment—looking for something, anything, to cut through the quiet. “Why Zona?”

“Is that what this place is called?” Yellow glances around. “I needed an area of the Earth where I would cause the least disruptions, where I could dig a sufficiently large hole such that I could access the Cluster. I initially planned on going to one of the Kindergartens, as we’d already irrevocably destroyed all hope of organic life thriving there—I thought I could minimize the destruction. But each already has a fairly extensive subterranean framework that makes it impossible for me to dig deep enough.” She sighs. “I realize this place isn’t perfect. My digging will certainly disrupt some of the plant life. But it appeared at least that there were few humans in the vicinity…”

“Mm.” Steven leads against the hood of his car. “I’m surprised you brought your ship out here and didn’t just Warp. We’re not that far from the Beta Kindergarten, and there’s a Warp there...”

“Those Warps weren’t built for us. We’re much too large.”

“I guess that’s true, but you could always shapeshift.”

“Hmm. I suppose. But there was also the equipment to bring.”

“Equipment?”

“Yes, I...There are...billions of shards in the Cluster. I figured...if I am going to dismantle it and reconstruct each of the Gems whose shards it conatiend, it would likely be easier for me to do it on Earth, rather than bringing all the Shards back to Homeworld. I don’t want to risk losing any of them or damaging any of them even further in transit…And while I may need to ultimately to transport some of them back to Homeworld to locate all the pieces, and though it may be disconcerting for the other Gems to reform on Earth...I…” She leaves the syllable hanging in the air, turns her head away. Steven can just barely make out her tense jaw as though she is gritting her teeth. Sparks radiate from her skin.

“Yellow? Are you...okay?”

“I’m fine!” But then she bows her head, inhales and releases, murmurs: “I apologize, Steven. I am not angry with you. I simply…It has been difficult enough for me to face each of the Gems I have reconstructed on Homeworld. Once they recover from the shock and the terror, they have each looked at me with such disdain. And those Fusion experiments, while they were certainly terrible, pale in comparison to the Cluster. I can only imagine what each of the Gem’s contained within it will feel. And I will deserve it. I hurt so many Gems in the service of the Empire.”

Steven opens his mouth to respond, but before he can, Yellow continues, speaking ever rapidly, ever louder, as though desperate to expel the words. “Do not try to assuage my guilty conscience! That...is not your responsibility. I shouldn’t have just put you in a position to think that it was.”

Another tentative backpedaling, Steven thinks. A walking on eggshells moment, like he’s witnessed with the Gems and Dad over the past several months. And difficult though it is for him to sometimes believe, it’s not as though Yellow is wrong, at least not if he trusts his therapist. But there is a distant look in her eye, a panicked tension in her cheeks, which, when coupled with the fact that this is the first time he’s seen her since his breakdown, makes Steven wonder if she is remembering that day on the beach.

His own memories of it are fuzzy-to-nonexistant; he remembers the pain, and the panic, and the anger he’d held despite knowing that he shouldn't. Then, he has a vague impression of multiple embraces, of Connie kissing his forehead, of crying hot, cathartic tears...And then he’d woken up in the Cluster’s hand, with the eyes of most of the people he loved and almost everyone he’d ever fought all on him.

Despite his own lack of recollection, however, Connie assures him that she’d given everyone—the Diamonds included—something of a blunt talking to that day, a rallying speech, but she won’t elaborate on the specifics of what exactly she’d said. Might that—whatever its contents— be behind Yellow’s hasty assurances now?

“Okay,” Steven responds finally. “I won’t try to make you feel less guilty. But can I show you something?”

Yellow furrows her eyebrows. “Very well.”

“It’s just on the top of the canyon.”

They deliberate for a few moments on the details. Yellow offers to carry him, but even if she’s not White, Steven declines being held in a Diamond’s hand, and while she could shapeshift to fit in the passenger seat of the Dondai, she ultimately elects to simply follow behind the car as Steven slowly drives it up the cliff.

They reach the plateau just as the sun begins to dip in the horizon, casting a golden glow over the grass, over the Autumn leaves, just starting to paint themselves with the vibrant shades that return year after year.

Steven opens the door and steps out. “You never spent much time on Earth, did you?”

Yellow considers. “No.”

“Do you know what I think my mom fell in love with about this planet?”

“Organic life, of course. Humans.” She gestures to Steven. “Obviously.”

“Well, yeah, but not just them. Us. I think it was this stuff too.”

Yellow squints. “These weeds?! These...dying outgrowths?!”

“With things that change. Things that grow. There’s so much of it here.”

“Hm.”

Steven paces over to the grass, then sinks down onto it so that it brushes against his bare calves. It’s mostly soft on his skin but there are dryer patches too, scratchier places on the ground as some of the longer areas start to dry out for the season. The sun dips lower in the sky, and it leaks hues of pink and orange onto the daytime canvas of darkening blue. Yellow looms behind him.

“Feel this.” He pats the ground next to him, and tries not to wince as Yellow’s gargantuan hand settles down on the grass. “You might not be able to tell, but it’s growing. Even right now. By the time the snow—frozen water that falls from the sky—starts to cover it in a few months, it’ll probably be a few inches taller than it is right now. And then it’ll take a break for a while, but when Spring comes next year—when the weather gets warmer again—it’ll start again.

“The trees too. Look out there—they grow taller every year, and every year the leaves change into those beautiful colors you can see. And the shades are similar every year, but never exactly the same. Then the leaves fall off, and then bud again and come back. And the trees keep getting taller. And every time the leaves return, the whole tree is a little bit different too.”

Yellow hesitates. “These are familiar to me. Someone, I believe a Peridot—your Peridot—”

“She’s not my Peridot, but I know who you mean.”

“Yes...Well, she brought some of these...trees...from Earth to Homeworld, and determined how best to make them grow there. I’ve been gazing at them through the windows of the palace ever since, but I hadn’t realized how elaborate, how ever-present, their growth cycles were…”

“I’ve lived on Earth my whole life, and I only just started thinking about it recently. It’s easy to take for granted, but it’s really incredible when you stop to think about it.” He angles his head upward. “And it’s not just the plants. Look at the sky. It changes like this every day.” A pause. “Well, it’s really not the sky that’s changing—Connie told me that it’s an effect of how the planet moves around our sun. But from down here on Earth, it looks like it’s always changing. In a different way every day. I don’t think it’s like that on Homeworld.”

Yellow settles next to him at last, squatting, and then kneeling. “It isn’t. Things are constructed on Homeworld—not grown. We have a sun, but our sky does not transform like this.”

“Exactly. And I think that’s why my mom fell in love with the Earth so much. She was so in awe of how everything naturally grew and changed here.” Steven sighs, clenches him gemstone beneath his hand. “I’m still angry at her a lot of the time, but, like, I get it. She saw herself as this monster.” Here Steven pauses, glances away for a moment before finally letting the words return. “And she didn’t think that she was capable of growth or change. All she thought she could do was pretend to be someone else. And then she found herself on this planet where all anything did was grow for real, and she wanted to be a part of that even in some small way, so she made me.”

“Steven…”

“But the point is, she was wrong. She could have grown as herself. I think she did, even if she couldn’t see it. And she and I aren't the only Gems that grew. All of my friends and family have. None of us is the same as we were when I was a kid. Maybe it just took coming to Earth to see that, ya know? Gems can grow and change, just like the trees can, and the grass, and the sky.

“So yeah,” Steven continues. “White hurt you, and you hurt Mom, and Mom hurt Pearl and Garnet and Amethyst and Spinel and you, and everyone she hurt hurt me, and I hurt Jasper and Dad and a lot of people and could have hurt a lot more, and you hurt all the Gems who were corrupted, and who became the Fusion experiments and the Cluster...and that’s all true, and we all have to deal with that and make the things we did wrong right the best that we can. And it’s hard, and it sucks. But the ways we’ve been hurt and hurt other people aren’t all we are. We can grow and change too. As ourselves. I think the Earth is just one big reminder of that.”

Yellow’s brows are once again furrowed, her jaw agape. “I…”

“So, yeah, it’s going to be hard to face all the Gems in the Cluster as you put them all back together. But it’s the right thing to do. And if it ever becomes too much, you can always come up here, and watch the world change and grow to remind yourself that you’re growing too. You’re better than you were, and if you keep working at it, you’ll keep getting better.”

Then, without waiting for Yellow to respond, Steven stands, walks back over to the Dondai. “Now, I gotta hit the road. I want to get to Vegas by tomorrow. It was nice to see you, Yellow.”

“You as well, Steven.” Yellow rises to her feet.

“Good luck,” he calls out the window as he pulls away, and glancing in the rearview mirror, he sees Yellow’s arm raised in farewell, something like a small, apprehensive smile on her lips.

Six months later, after a sojourn up and down the West Coast, Steven returns to the ridge en route back to Beach City for a visit. He pulls up just as the sun is rising over the canyon, glinting off Yellow’s arm ship, and off of the chest and arms and backs of the little gaggle of Gems gathered next to the ship and the adjacent hole. Yellow is not among them, though. She stands on the crest of the cliff, gazing at the trees, at the little buds beginning to spring into being on each branch.

“Steven.” She turns to him in greeting as he gets out of the car.

“You’ve been busy!”

“Yes, we’re progressing nicely.”

“We?”

Yellow nods. “Some of the Gems I reconstructed from the Cluster decided to remain here to help. Then others in Little Homeworld—and even a few on Homeworld itself—learned about what we were doing, and traveled here to volunteer.” She pauses. “They’re here for the sake of the Gems inside the Cluster, not for me. Still, it is nice not to be alone.”

“Mm.”

Yellow turns from the trees to the canyon, in the direction of the rising sun. The growing orange light catches her Gemstone too, and it glimmers in it. “It’s a beautiful morning.”

“Yeah,” Steven says. “It is.”

[ao3]

#my fic #su #yellow diamond #steven universe #the cluster

[fmleos]

swings in on a vine w a margarita in my hand... howdy demons n nerds ! i’m sage, she/her n comin 2 u live frm the est tz. i am literally the worst at intros but jus know im so glad i found this cute lil group!! anyways , u know the drill! pls spank the little heart down below n i’ll come runnin 2 u for plots! also if u wanna skip the messy intro n just vibe check, here is her pinterest

hey ELEANORA VALENTINE , welcome to dillon university . has anyone ever told you you’re MAIA COTTON ’s twin ? no ? well okay , i heard you are TWENTY-ONE & a JUNIOR at the university . we hope KINESIOLOGY isn’t kicking your ass too much , especially since you’re a  STUDENT ATHLETIC THERAPIST . see you at the next game, LEO .

BACKGROUND

was born in auckland, new zealand and moved to the states when she was 13. she’s still got hints of a cute lil kiwi accent!!

her dad was originally from dillon and moved the valentine’s back to take over his dad’s law firm when he decided to retire

mom is an interior designer so their home, no matter how big or small always looked something out of architectural digest

is the youngest out of 4. her three brothers happen to be triplets!! they’re 2 years older than leo

they desperately wanted a boy.. cried when leo was born and refused to call her eleanora and thus the name LEO was born and just kinda stuck with her??

rarely ever goes by her full name but is chill with all other nick names

grew up rly close to her brothers so they’re the main reason why she had gone to dillon

they are how you say.... panther royalty

the valentine triple threat is what they called them... acting as quarterback, running back and center. it was like surgery watching the boys play, every move and pass was like second nature they knew how the other moved and could predict what the other would do even if the play went off book. 

NFL teams had their eyes on the brothers even before their first game at dillon, but time and time again they proved they were destined to go to the NFL. 

they’ve been out of dillon for a year now and 2 of them are playing for the 49ers, while the other one is with the cowboys.

the role of student athletic therapist just kinda fell into leo’s lap. it started with her helping with her brothers injuries and somehow grew into helping the entire team and it all just kinda stuck with her. she doesn’t mind it though - it’s good practice considering her major is kinesiology.

PERSONALITY 

runs off of coffee and sarcasm

dorm is probably filled with books - has an ever-growing pile of books that’s on her to-read list but probably hasn’t touched it in months and keeps going back to old classics

the type to keep an agenda that’s disgustingly organized.. 10/10 would have a meltdown if it ever went missing!!

is all around nice.. will probably always give u the benefit of the doubt

likes to be right.. would rather stick a pin in her eye than admit she was wrong about something!! :/

annoyingly the kind of girl who could stay out drinking the whole night, wake up the next morning for an 8 am class and not be hungover

has the kinda personality that just makes u feel GOOD, u know jus has an infectious aura .. cld light up a room when she walks into it.. just naturally charming without trying. kinda person who has u still thinkin about her the next day after one (1) conversation.

is on the track and swimming team. couldn’t see herself as a cheerleader mainly bc she has no dance rhythm but lowkey wishes bc the uniforms are cute and what better way to support the team?

can stand up for herself if the time calls for it but will also give someone multiple chances they don’t deserve.. sis is weak and forgives too easily :/

can also throw a mean punch... it’s been proven when someone on the opposing team slapped her ass on their way off the field and her fist collided with their nose

CONNECTIONS: 

girl squad! ride or dies! friends who just absolutely get into trouble when they’re together! party friends! roommates could be fun too

a good ol friends with benefits, tinder matches, flirtationship, exes on bad terms.. her brothers were pretty protective of her so now that they’re gone i jus feel like her dating life would be thriving finally 

rivals, enemies, people who just don’t get on with her

someone she tutors.. honestly she just needs to always be going 100 miles an hour, so i imagine she’s always doing something, so this could be multiple

with that said.. someone who pulls her away from all her good doings, takes her out to chill and relax bc its deserved

someone who she meets with to help with physio.. doing little exercises and trainings with them 

someone she trains with!

 someone who is just constantly coming to her with different injuries bc they want to spend time with her lmao

also someone who constantly comes to her with the same injury bc they don’t listen to her advice.

#friday:intro #ok this got.. longer than expected #im so sorry #pls accept my trash :B