#can you imagine any other author getting NINE YEARS on the same comic and there is just 0 development | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

lokiondisneyplus · 3 years

Video

'Loki' takes over: Tom Hiddleston on his new TV series and a decade in the MCU

Ten years after Hiddleston first chose chaos in Thor, Marvel’s fan favorite God of Mischief is going even bigger with his time-bending Disney+ show.

Tom Hiddleston is Loki, and he is burdened with glorious purpose: After playing Thor's puckish brother for over a decade in the Marvel Cinematic Universe, no one understands the mercurial Asgardian God of Mischief as well as the actor. He can teach an entire seminar on Loki if given the opportunity — which he actually did during pre-production on his forthcoming Disney+ show. In conversation, Hiddleston quotes lines from his MCU debut, 2011's Thor, almost verbatim, and will playfully correct you if you mistakenly refer to Asgard's Rainbow Bridge as the Bifrost, which is the portal that connects Loki and Thor's homeworld to the Nine Realms, including Midgard, a.k.a. Earth. "Well, the Bifrost technically is the energy that runs through the bridge," he says with a smile. "But nine points to Gryffindor!" And when he shows up to the photo shoot for this very digital cover, he hops on a call with our photo editor to pitch ways the concept could be even more Loki, like incorporating the flourish the trickster does whenever magically conjuring something. The lasting impression is that playing Loki isn't just a paycheck.

"Rather than ownership, it's a sense of responsibility I feel to give my best every time and do the best I can because I feel so grateful to be a part of what Marvel Studios has created," the 40-year-old Brit tells EW over Zoom a few days after the shoot and a week out from Thor's 10th anniversary. "I just want to make sure I've honored that responsibility with the best that I can give and the most care and thought and energy."

After appearing in three Thor movies and three Avengers, Hiddleston is bringing that passion to his first solo Marvel project, Loki, the House of Ideas' third Disney+ series following the sitcom pastiche WandaVision and the topical The Falcon and the Winter Soldier. Led by head writer Michael Waldron (Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness, Heels), the six-episode drama sees Hiddleston's shapeshifting agent of chaos step out from behind his brother's shadow and into the spotlight for a timey-wimey, sci-fi adventure that aims to get to the bottom of who Loki really is. "I wanted to explore slightly more complex character questions," says Waldron. "It's not just good versus bad. Is anybody all good? Is anybody all bad? What makes a hero, a hero? A villain, a villain?"

Even though Loki — who loves sowing mayhem with his illusion magic and shapeshifting, all with a major chip on his shoulder — has never been one for introspection, the idea of building an entire show around him was a no-brainer for Marvel. When asked why Loki was one of the studio's first Disney+ shows, Marvel president Kevin Feige replies matter-of-factly, "More Hiddleston, more Loki." First introduced as Thor's (Chris Hemsworth) envious brother in Kenneth Branagh's Thor, Loki went full Big Bad in 2012's The Avengers. That film cemented the impish rogue as one of the shared universe's fan favorites, thanks to Hiddleston's ability to make him deliciously villainous yet charismatic and, most importantly, empathetic. The character's popularity is one of the reasons he's managed to avoid death many times.

"He's been around for thousands of years. He had all sorts of adventures," says Feige. "Wanting to fill in the blanks and see much more of Loki's story [was] the initial desire [for the series]."

The Loki we meet on the show is not the one who fought the Avengers in 2012 and evolved into an antihero in Thor: The Dark World and Thor: Ragnarok before meeting his demise at the hands of the mad titan Thanos (Josh Brolin) in 2018's Avengers: Infinity War. Instead, we'll be following a Loki from a branched timeline (a variant, if you will) after he stole the Tesseract following his thwarted New York invasion and escaped S.H.I.E.L.D. custody during the time heist featured in Avengers: Endgame. In other words, this Loki hasn't gone through any sort of redemption arc. He's still the charming yet petulant god who firmly believes he's destined to rule and has never gotten his due.

Premiering June 9, Loki begins with the Time Variance Authority — a bureaucratic organization tasked with safeguarding the proper flow of time — arresting the Loki Variant seen in Endgame because they want his help fixing all of the timeline problems he caused while on the run with the Tesseract. So there will be time travel, and a lot more of it than in Endgame. As Loki makes his way through his own procedural, he'll match wits with new characters including Owen Wilson's Agent Mobius, a brilliant TVA analyst, and Gugu Mbatha-Raw's Judge Renslayer. The question in early episodes is whether Loki will help them or take over.

"One of the things Kevin Feige led on was, 'I think we should find a way of exploring the parts of Loki that are independent of his relationship with Thor,' or see him in a duality or in relationship with others, which I thought was very exciting," says Hiddleston, who also serves as an executive producer on the show. "So the Odinson saga, that trilogy of films, still has its integrity, and we don't have to reopen it and retell it."

Yet, in order to understand where Loki is going, it's important to see where he came from.

Hiddleston can't believe how long he and Loki have been connected. "I've been playing this character for 11 years," he says. "Which is the first time I have said that sentence, I realize, and it [blows] my mind. I don't know what percentage that is exactly of my 40 years of being alive, but it's substantial."

His time as Loki actually goes a bit further back, to 2009 — a year after Robert Downey Jr. big banged the MCU into existence with Iron Man — when he auditioned for Thor. It's no secret that Hiddleston initially went in for the role of the titular God of Thunder, but Feige and director Kenneth Branagh thought his natural charm and flexibility as an actor made him better suited for the movie's damaged antagonist. "Tom gave you an impression that he could be ready for anything, performance-wise," says Branagh, who had previously worked with him on a West End revival of Checkov's Ivanov and the BBC series Wallander. "Tom has a wild imagination, so does Loki. He's got a mischievous sense of humor and he was ready to play. It felt like he had a star personality, but he was a team player."

Hiddleston fully immersed himself in the character. Outside of studying Loki's history in the Marvel Comics, he also researched how Loki and the Trickster God archetype appeared across mythology and different cultures. "He understood that he was already in something special [and] it was a special character in a special part of that early moment in the life of the Marvel universe where [he] also needed to step up in other ways," says Branagh, who was impressed by the emotional depth Hiddleston brought to the part, especially when it came to how isolated Loki felt in the Asgardian royal family.

There was a lot riding on that first Thor feature. For one, no one knew if audiences would immediately latch onto a Shakespearean superhero movie partially set on an alien planet populated by the Norse Gods of legend. Second, it was integral to Feige's plans for the shared universe. Loki was supposed to be the main villain in The Avengers, which would not only mirror how Earth's mightiest heroes joined forces in 1963's Avengers #1 but also give Thor a believable reason for teaming up with Iron Man, Captain America (Chris Evans), and the rest of the capes. Feige first clued Hiddleston into those larger plans when the actor was in L.A. before Thor started shooting.

"I was like, 'Excuse me?' Because he was already three, four steps ahead," says Hiddleston. "That took me a few minutes to process, because I didn't quite realize how it just suddenly had a scope. And being cast as Loki, I realized, was a very significant moment for me in my life, and was going to remain. The creative journey was going to be so exciting."

Hiddleston relished the opportunity to go full villain in Avengers, like in the scene where Loki ordered a crowd to kneel before him outside a German opera house: "It's the unspoken truth of humanity, that you crave subjugation," says the Machiavellian god. "The bright lure of freedom diminishes your life's joy in a mad scramble for power, for identity. You were made to be ruled. In the end, you will always kneel."

"I just knew that in the structure of that film, I had to lean into his role as a pure antagonist," Hiddleston recalls. "What I always found curious and complex about the way Loki is written in Avengers, is that his status as an antagonist comes from the same well of not belonging and being marginalized and isolated in the first Thor film. Loki now knows he has no place in Asgard."

Loki did find a place within the audience's hearts, though. Feige was "all in" on Hiddleston as his Loki from the beginning, but even he couldn't predict how much fans would love him. Feige recalls the reaction at the 2013 San Diego Comic-Con: "Did we know that after he was the villain in two movies, he would be bringing thousands of people to their feet in Hall H, in costume, chanting his name? No, that was above and beyond the plan that we were hoping for and dreaming of." It was a dream Feige first got an inkling of a year earlier during the Avengers press tour when a Russian fan slipped past security, snuck into Mark Ruffalo's car, and asked the Hulk actor to give Hiddleston a piece of fan art she created. "That was one of the early signs there was much more happening with this quote-unquote villain."

Despite that popularity, the plan was to kill Loki off in 2013's Thor: The Dark World, but the studio reversed course after test audiences refused to believe he actually died fighting the Dark Elves. Alas, he couldn't out-illusion death forever. After returning in Taika Waititi's colorful and idiosyncratic Thor: Ragnarok, Hiddleston's character perished for real in the opening moments of Infinity War. In typical Loki fashion, before Thanos crushed his windpipe, he delivered a defiant speech that indicated he'd finally made peace with the anger he felt toward his family.

"It felt very, very final, and I thought, 'Okay, that's it. This is Loki's final bow and a conclusive end to the Odinson saga,'" says Hiddleston, who shot that well-earned death scene in 2017.

But, though he didn't know it yet, the actor's MCU story was far from over.

Credit: Charlie Gray for EW

When Hiddleston returned to film two scenes in Avengers: Endgame in 2017, he had no idea where Loki portaled off to after snatching the Tesseract. "Where'd he go? When does he go? How does he get there? These are all questions I remember asking on the day, and then not being given any answers," Hiddleston recalls. To be fair, it's likely the Powers That Be didn't necessarily have answers then. While Feige can't exactly recall when the writers' room for Endgame first devised Loki's escape sequence, he does know that setting up a future show wasn't the primary goal — because a Loki series wasn't on the horizon just yet.

"[That scene] was really more of a wrinkle so that one of the missions that the Avengers went on in Endgame could get screwed up and not go well, which is what required Cap and Tony to go further back in time to the '70s," says Feige. Soon after that, though, former Disney CEO Bob Iger approached Feige about producing content for the studio's forthcoming streaming service. "I think the notion that we had left this hanging loose end with Loki gave us the in for what a Loki series could be. So by the time [Endgame] came out, we did know where it was going."

As for Hiddleston, he didn't find out about the plans for a Loki show until spring 2018, a few weeks before Infinity War hit theaters. "I probably should not have been surprised, but I was," says the actor. "But only because Infinity War had felt so final."

Nevertheless, Hiddleston was excited about returning for his show. He was eager to explore Loki's powers, especially the shapeshifting, and what it meant that this disruptive figure still managed to find a seat beside the gods in mythology. "I love this idea [of] Loki's chaotic energy somehow being something we need. Even though, for all sorts of reasons, you don't know whether you can trust him. You don't know whether he's going to betray you. You don't why he's doing what he's doing," says Hiddleston. "If he's shapeshifting so often, does he even know who he is? And is he even interested in understanding who he is? Underneath all those masks, underneath the charm and the wit, which is kind of a defense anyway, does Loki have an authentic self? Is he introspective enough or brave enough to find out? I think all of those ideas are all in the series — ideas about identity, ideas about self-knowledge, self-acceptance, and the difficulty of it."

“The series will explore Loki's powers in a way they have not yet been explored, which is very, very exciting.”

The thing that truly sold Hiddleston on the show was Marvel's decision to include the Time Variance Authority, a move he describes as "the best idea that anybody had pertaining to the series." Feige and Loki executive producer Stephen Broussard had hoped to find a place for the TVA — an organization that debuted in 1986's Thor #372 and has appeared in She-Hulk and Fantastic Four stories — in the MCU for years, but the right opportunity never presented itself until Loki came along. "Putting Loki into his own procedural series became the eureka moment for the show," says Feige.

The TVA's perspective on time and reality also tied into the themes that Waldron, Loki's head writer, was hoping to explore. "Loki is a character that's always reckoning with his own identity, and the TVA, by virtue of what they do, is uniquely suited to hold up a mirror to Loki and make him really confront who he is and who he was supposed to be," says Waldron. Hiddleston adds: "[That] was very exciting because in the other films, there was always something about Loki that was very controlled. He seemed to know exactly what the cards in his hand were and how he was going to play them…. And Loki versus the TVA is Loki out of control immediately, and in an environment in which he's completely behind the pace, out of his comfort zone, destabilized, and acting out."

To truly dig into who Loki is, the creative team had to learn from the man who knows him best: Hiddleston. "I got him to do a thing called Loki School when we first started," says director Kate Herron. "I asked him to basically talk through his 10 years of the MCU — from costumes to stunts, to emotionally how he felt in each movie. It was fantastic."

Hiddleston got something out of the Loki school, too. Owen Wilson both attended the class and interviewed Hiddleston afterward so that he could better understand Loki, as his character Mobius is supposed to be an expert on him. During their conversation, Wilson pointedly asked Hiddleston what he loved about playing the character.

"And I said, 'I think it's because he has so much range,'" says Hiddleston. "I remember saying this to him: 'On the 88 keys on the piano, he can play the twinkly light keys at the top. He can keep it witty and light, and he's the God of Mischief, but he can also go down to the other side and play the heavy keys. And he can play some really profound chords down there, which are about grief and betrayal and loss and heartbreak and jealousy and pride.'" Hiddleston recalls Wilson being moved by the description: "He said, 'I think I might say that in the show.' And it was such a brilliant insight for me into how open Owen is as an artist and a performer.'"

Owen Wilson as Mobius and Tom Hiddleston as Loki in 'Loki.'| Credit: Chuck Zlotnick/Marvel Studios

Everyone involved is particularly excited for audiences to see Hiddleston and Wilson's on-screen chemistry. "Mobius is not unlike Owen Wilson in that he's sort of nonplussed by the MCU," says Feige. "[Loki] is used to getting a reaction out of people, whether it's his brother or his father, or the other Avengers. He likes to be very flamboyant and theatrical. Mobius doesn't give him the reaction he's looking for. That leads to a very unique relationship that Loki's not used to."

As for the rest of the series, we know that Loki will be jumping around time and reality, but the creative team isn't keen on revealing when and where. "Every episode, we tried to take inspiration from different things," says Waldron, citing Blade Runner's noir aesthetic as one example.

"Part of the fun of the multiverse and playing with time is seeing other versions of characters, and other versions of the titular character in particular," says Feige, who also declined to confirm if Loki ties into Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness and/or other upcoming projects.

Making Loki was especially meaningful to Hiddleston because they shot most of it during the pandemic, in late 2020. "It will remain one of the absolute most intense, most rewarding experiences of my life," he says. "It's a series about time, and the value of time, and what time is worth, and I suppose what the experience of being alive is worth. And I don't quite know yet, and maybe I don't have perspective on it, if all the thinking and the reflecting that we did during the lockdown ended up in the series. But in some way, it must have because everything we make is a snapshot of where we were in our lives at that time."

While it remains to be seen what the future holds for Loki beyond this initial season, Hiddleston isn't preparing to put the character to bed yet. "I'm open to everything," he says. "I have said goodbye to the character. I've said hello to the character. I said goodbye to the character [again]. I've learned not to make assumptions, I suppose. I'm just grateful that I'm still here, and there are still new roads to explore."

#Tom Hiddleston #Loki #Disney+#interview

519 notes · View notes

therenlover · 3 years

Text

Therenlover’s Official Fanfic Glossary!

Hey hey hey! This is the place where you can find all my up-to-date fanfics linked nicely, read about what projects I have upcoming, and learn what requests I’m taking at the moment! Cheers!

This post is massive so, for the sake of your dash, everything is under the cut

A NOTE ABOUT REQUESTS!

I will do my best to fulfill any requests I get while my ask box/requests are open! That being said, I cannot promise every request will get done, and that if they do, they’ll be done in a timely manner. I’m currently working on a long-form project that needs a lot of time and energy to come out consistently, so unless I’m doing a writing event most of my writing juice will be focused on that. That being said, if you want something ask! The worst I can possibly do is direct you towards someone else who might be able to write what you want if I cant.

If I choose not to do your request based on personal preference (it makes me uncomfy/I don’t write for the character at that time/I don’t feel I can write what you want/etc.) I will do my best to contact you and let you know! That being said, if you think your ask got buried/forgotten, feel free to message me again and let me know, but please tell me when you message me if I should be looking for a prior request.

Characters/Fandoms I will write for currently

💙 = I’m Currently Super Inspired To Write For This Character

Marvel/X-Men

Bucky Barnes

Loki

Peter Maximoff 💙

Pietro Maximoff

Helmut Zemo 💙

Hank McCoy

Ralph Bohner 💙

Vision

American Horror Story

Tate Langdon

Kit Walker 💙

Kyle Spencer (Pre- and Post- Death)

Jimmy Darling 💙

James Patrick March 💙

Kai Anderson

Fallout 4

Nick Valentine

Hancock

Star Wars

Poe Dameron

Armitage Hux 💙

Kylo Ren/Ben Solo

Finn

Han Solo

Assorted/Random

Diarmuid Ua Duibhne - FGO

Cu Chulainn/Cu Alter - FGO

Warren Lipka - American Animals 💙

Enjolras - Les Miserables

Grantaire - Les Miserables

Gabriel - Supernatural

Imagines - REQUESTS CLOSED

Songs From Musicals Y/N Would Sing To The Evans

Characters: Tate Langdon, Kit Walker, Kyle Spencer, Jimmy Darling, James Patrick March, Kai Anderson, Peter Maximoff

Rating: T

How The Evans (+ Quicksilver) Would React To Yoplait’s New Gushers Yogurt

Characters: Tate Langdon, Kit Walker, Kyle Spencer, Jimmy Darling, James Patrick March, Rory Monahan, Kai Anderson, Peter Maximoff

Rating: T

Would The Danny Bunch Survive A Holiday With My Family?

Characters: Laszlo Kreizler, Alex Kerner, Niki Lauda, Andrea Marowski, Ernst Schmidt, Helmut Zemo

Rating: T

Headcanons - REQUESTS CLOSED

Modern! AU Armitage Hux Boyfriend Headcanons

Zemo With A Well Dress S/O Headcanons

Zemo Getting Jealous Headcanons

Oneshots - REQUESTS CLOSED

Marvel/X-Men

Helmut Zemo

One Last Night In Madripoor

Synopsis: Baron Helmut Zemo is a lonely, wanted man looking for some fun, you’re a piss-poor bounty hunter in search of a connection before leaving your life of crime behind, and fate has brought you together at a party the likes of which has never been seen before. You only have one night left in Madripoor, so why not take a chance?

Rating: 18+

Word Count: 4200~

Still Some Catching Up To Do

Synopsis: As a member of the criminal underworld, people walk out of your life all the time. Some are killed, others kill themselves, most get caught and only a couple get out of the life unscathed, disappearing into the world never to be seen again. Very few walk back in. So when your supposedly incarcerated ex-lover, the Winter Soldier, and the Falcon waltzed through your door and made you murder your boss, needless to say, you were surprised and more than a little bit pissed.

Rating: 16+

Word Count: 6800~

Nine Years Starved

Synopsis: It had been a little over nine years since Helmut Zemo lost his family, his country, and his sanity. Nine years since his last kiss. Nine years since he felt like a human man. Finally, he was ready to start over again, but first, he had to pay his penance back where it all began; Novi Grad. That’s when, by the grace of the fates, he met you.

Rating: G

Word Count: 7000~

Daddy Dearest

Synopsis: Not everyone gets lucky enough to go from being a broke college student in New York to being the sugar baby to literal royalty, but not everyone is you. Most people would be worried about messing things up or losing him to someone else, but you knew he would never find another baby just like you. Besides, you knew exactly what to do to keep him wrapped around your little finger. He may have been the daddy, but you pulled the reins.

Rating: 18+

Word Count: 8000~

In Fleeting Touches & Airy Sighs

Part One Part Two Part Three Part Four

Synopsis: As a wanted man, Helmut Zemo spends most of his time jumping from place to place in the hopes of avoiding a trip back to prison. Unfortunately, that means he can’t always be home in your arms. When he is, though, in the rare moments of calm, you’re reminded of just how worth it it’s been to wait, even if that wait was only shortened by the arrival of your enemies.

Rating: 18+

Word Count: 35,700~

Two Bodies In The Rain

Synopsis: It was raining the day you finally had to admit your feelings to Helmut. You hated to tell him the way you did, under the grey skies as your blood pooled below you, but at least you knew, in the end, he had seen the real you, even just once. That was enough.

Rating: T

Word Count: 5600~

Rest

Synopsis: Living life on the lam with your escaped super-villain lover means things rarely slow down enough for a real rest. When the exhaustion starts to take its toll on you, though, he knows exactly what to do to ease the pain. He may not be a good man, but he’s a good husband when it counts.

Rating: T

Word Count: 3200~

American Horror Story

Jimmy Darling

Red Nights In Jupiter

Synopsis: At the end of another long day, you fall into bed with Jimmy Darling. The men you served throughout the day don’t matter then, nor do the coins in the mason jar by the door, or the women scheduled to attend Jimmy’s next Tupperware party. No, in that quiet darkness it’s just you and the man you love, bone-tired and happy to be home. Who could ask for more?

Rating: 16+

Word Count: 3000~

James Patrick March

Heartsick

Synopsis: When you fall ill, James is given a forceful awakening about how he’s been neglecting your needs and what he must do to prevent harm from befalling you again.

Rating: 16+

Word Count: 3700~

In Sickness And In Health

Synopsis: Normally people don’t have their wedding and funeral on the same day, but you and James don’t quite have a normal relationship, do you? Besides, you wouldn’t wanna go any other way.

Rating: 18+

Word Count: 5500~

Fallout 4

Currently Empty

Star Wars

Currently Empty

Assorted/Random

Currently Empty

Long Form Works/Series

Young Artist!Zemo AU

Chapter One: The Boy With The Easel

Synopsis: About a month into your first semester at Novi Grad’s top university, you finally meet the strange young man that you’ve taken to calling “easel boy” in the back of a bookshop. From a distance, he always seemed cold and aloof. As you get to know him, though, you realize things aren’t always what they seem.

Rating: T

Word Count: 7000~

Till Forever Falls Apart (A Peter Maximoff/Reader Series)

Chapter One: Welcome Home

Synopsis: As if getting thrown through the multiverse, trapped in an attic (albeit a cool one), mind-controlled to manipulate his grieving sister, and subsequently dragged out of Westview “for his own safety” by the FBI wasn’t enough, Peter Maximoff has now been shipped off to New York to live with a glorified baby sitter like some tragic orphan in a comic book until they find a way to get him back home. Things are not always as they seem, though, and this change might just be for the better.

Rating: T

Word Count: 2400~

Chapter Two: The Doctor Is In

Synopsis: Peter’s first few days in his new home are mostly uneventful, so he decides it’s the perfect time to dust off his running goggles and steal some shit. The building with the massive circular stained glass window seems like a great place to start! People with buildings that lavish are usually rich and weak, so what could possibly go wrong?

Rating: T

Word Count: 2800~

Chapter Three: It’s Always Been You

Synopsis: After a month of adapting to his new universe, Peter Maximoff can confidently say that he likes his new life more than his old one. Sure, he misses home sometimes, but he’s been far too busy flirting with his new roommate to spend time crying over the things he’s lost. Everything is smooth sailing until a strange journal in his roommate’s study leaves him with more questions than he knows what to do with. Now he’s on a mission to discover who he’s really living with before she has the chance to turn against him.

Rating: T

Word Count: 8600~

Chapter Four: Before You Go

Synopsis: Peter, after days of contemplation, has realized that part of him loves Y/N no matter what she is or what she’s been through. Unfortunately, he can’t find her anywhere. When she finally returns home with the intention of leaving again, Peter realizes it’s his last chance to tell her how he really feels. Will he succeed, or will he fail to be fast enough once again?

Rating: T

Word Count: 4000~

Chapter Four And A Half: Gimme Swayze

Synopsis: Now that the issue of Y/N leaving is out of the way, and Peter has finally kissed her, he falls into the motions of learning how to love someone for the first time. It’s easier than he thought it would be.

Rating: T

Word Count; 2600~

Cakes For The Evans: A Blogging And Baking Adventure!

Kai Anderson’s Disaster Cake

Hey you! If you’ve made it this far down the list, thanks for supporting me as an author! I’ll be linking my AO3 here. I post everything there shortly before I post it here, and there are some older fics there you might enjoy along the way! It’s also easier to drop comments over there and I keep them open for non-members, so give me a shout if you liked what I wrote!

I love you all, you make me so happy, and without you support I would never be motivated to write! Cheers!

485 notes · View notes

thesaltofcarthage · 3 years

Text

Loki takes over: Tom Hiddleston on his new TV series and a decade in the MCU

from Entertainment Weekly

Ten years after Hiddleston first chose chaos in Thor, Marvel’s fan favorite God of Mischief is going even bigger with his time-bending Disney+ show.

By Chancellor Agard May 20, 2021

"He's been around for thousands of years. He had all sorts of adventures," says Feige. "Wanting to fill in the blanks and see much more of Loki's story [was] the initial desire [for the series]."

Yet, in order to understand where Loki is going, it's important to see where he came from.

"It felt very, very final, and I thought, 'Okay, that's it. This is Loki's final bow and a conclusive end to the Odinson saga,'" says Hiddleston, who shot that well-earned death scene in 2017.

But, though he didn't know it yet, the actor's MCU story was far from over.

“The series will explore Loki's powers in a way they have not yet been explored, which is very, very exciting.”

Additional reporting by Jessica Derschowitz

#loki #loki series #tom hiddleston #entertainment weekly

26 notes · View notes

benm-assignment · 3 years

Text

Fun Home: A Family Tragicomic By Alison Bechdel Research Assignment by Ben Mulloy

Alison Bechdel Won an Eisner for best reality-based work for Fun Home, about her self-discovery as a lesbian, and her relationship with her father. Her other works include Dykes to Watch out For (2006), her comic strip that ran for twenty-five years, and introduced the Bechdel-Test which “evaluates movies on the basis of gender inequality.” The musical adaptation collected a dozen tony award nominations. Her work Are You My Mother? A Comic Drama (2012), explored the writings of Virginia Woolfe which she connected to her relationship with her mother for which she was awarded the John D. and Catherine T. MacArthur Foundation “genius grant” (Ray).

In an interview for IWL Rutgers Alison speaks about the environment surrounding her growing up, stating that she grew up in the sixties in an incredibly misogynistic environment, where women were portrayed as “idiots.” The representation for women was unfair and didn’t convey anything Bechdel wanted to embody in herself, and were “all generic female people, as opposed to people” (IWL Rutgers). It took her twenty years to share her story in Fun Home, as she knew it would be a hard story to tell but an important one. She identified that her story was interesting; Two gay people growing up in the same small town but having very different experiences. Years later she comments that it was a very different time, “it was [now] no longer so unspeakable to be gay or have a suicide in the family,” (IWL Rutgers) this change in environment helping to provide a more receptive space for her story.

In an interview with YoungVicLondon, Bechdel was asked about her influences. When asked about the Bechdel Test, Alison explained that it was created by a friend of hers who came up with three rules about the movies she chooses to see: One, it must have two women in it, two the women have to talk to one another, and three, their conversation must be about something other than men. At the time she was still working on her comic strip Dykes to Watch Out For and though it wasn’t intended to gain much traction then, in later years when her comic strip found its way onto the internet, it spoke to modern feminists and lesbians and gained attention. She also spoke about how Joan E. Biren’s photography was the first representation of a lesbian that she had seen, and in regards to other representation she simply stated “there was none”. In her words, “it’s so important to be able to see yourself, just to have a mirror of yourself” (YoungVicLondon). Other than representation, her motivation is also intrinsic, she notes “I think anyone pursuing an avenue of creativity is trying to get something they’re missing, or trying to heal ... I make myself vulnerable because I’m looking for sympathy and connection” (IWL Rutgers).

Bechdel introduces major plot points within the first twenty pages of the book, which is necessary to keep the reader interested. She uses the first seventeen to introduce the life she experienced in childhood and to mold a well rounded image of her father as strict but passionate and creative. She also describes her and her mothers relationship with him. Once the main plot, including her father’s death, is resolved, she begins to jump back and forth through the timeline to explore specifics in greater detail, which I found helped to keep interest throughout.

The tone used in Fun Home was significant specifically when used to describe Bechdel’s father and the sense of childlike magic he seemed to possess in her eyes when he was at work restoring their home. Although Bechdel continues to use carefully chosen and meaningful words throughout the memoir, I found that the best examples of the effectiveness of her word choice were used in the beginning. The author recognized the artfulness in his attention to detail, using words like “transfiguration, conjure, flourish, and remarkable,” to convey her awe of his craft. This is then juxtaposed with her choice of words when she displays some resentment towards him, using phrases like “contempt for useless ornament” (Bechdel 16). Her view of her father is described eloquently when she writes “his bursts of kindness were as incandescent as his tantrums were dark,” (Bechdel 21) a very powerful use of words to describe their turbulent relationship.

As a lesbian myself I related to this memoir in multiple ways. I found myself rooting for little lesbian victories throughout the unfolding of her coming out and when Bechdel revisits aspect of her childhood, such as when she moves in with her first girlfriend, and when she convinces her mother to let her go topless and wear swim shorts on vacation by telling her that the “Europeans do it.” I found things like this to be small universal experiences of lesbians and it was nice to see my experiences represented through her. Coming out to her family was also a plot point that I could relate to, as I found that her mother reacted much in the same fashion that mine did, with denial and ideation that being gay is a phase. I think this reaction, or at least in my experience, is related to mothers having expectations or ideas about what their child’s wedding is going to be like or that their daughter will bring home a nice man and have grandchildren. I think challenging that expectation can be hard for a mother to cope with, and it felt empowering to feel homogeneity in that experience. Lastly, I found the author’s search for representation very compelling, as it took her quite a long time to find accurate representation of herself so that she could identify comfortably as a lesbian. This experience is one that is universal for members of the LGBT community and it was comforting to see that expressed by others. I didn’t have any prior knowledge about what this memoir was about or what to expect, so it was a really pleasant discovery that I could relate to this novel so well.

As an artist, I can appreciate the images in this memoir for the detail and perspective that was used by Alison Bechdel. Specifically in the first chapter, where she uses perspective to show her childhood home and technical application of skill to describe ornate details in that home, such as the carpet on page four, the scabrous shingles on page eight and the front porch supports, wallpaper, wall supports and roof trim included in page nine. As well as this, I can also only begin to imagine either the research it took to find reference of the items in her home to draw from or the time it would have taken to pour thorough photos to find those items to draw from.

The action used in this graphic memoir is interesting because there isn’t as much physical action as there is action and intrigue woven into the plot to create a sense of action. However what action there is aids in character building and plot formation. Most of the action starting at the beginning of the book is showing the father’s passion for restoring their home with historical accuracy and is used to emphasize the importance of this to him, which is then contrasted by the action that is used when he lifts his arm to hit his child. An interesting action I noticed is a pose being carried into different scenes throughout the memoir, where the father is carrying a wooden beam over his shoulder and is used again when he is carrying weeds and shrubbery across the road at his time of death. I thought this was a particularly powerful juxtaposition between the beginning of our introduction to the fathers character in comparison to the end of his existence.

The colour was an important factor in that there was no use of colour throughout. All drawings were in black and white line with use of grey tones to separate foreground and background or to add light and shadow. I can assume this was done because she didn’t want colour to distract from the importance of the narrative she is trying to convey, which is very personal to Bechdel. It would make sense that she would want the focus to be on the story since it was hard for her to muster the strength to write it. Alison also included drawings of people she referenced including famous authors, which she depicted using cross hatching. This was used to achieve likeness in a way that just line and one tone of grey could not, without having to forfeit the existing visual theme, or distracting from the narrative.

Annotated Bibliography

IWL Rutgers. "Inked / An Interview with Alison Bechdel." Youtube, uploaded by IWL Rutgers, 06 March 2017, https://youtu.be/g7TWm2CPZCo. Accessed 17 April 2021. This interview, while only eight minutes long, consists of an enlightening description of the atmosphere surrounding Alison’s childhood and what was expected of men and women. Alison describes a sexist environment where women are portrayed poorly and unfairly, often as stupid. She speaks about her own internal misogyny in the way that she was unable to draw women, and could only draw men until she realized she could think of them as lesbians. Only then was she able to draw women. Bechdel also identifies how she believes her story is important and recognizes that the environment had changed, and it is now “acceptable” to be gay, and to have a suicide in the family. Her intrinsic motivation to share her story is also highlighted, when she admits that as well as creating lesbian representation, being able to connect and share her stpry with others are big contributing factors in her willingness to tell her narrative. This source, like the YoungVicLondon interview is also a video interview where Alison gets to speak freely about her motivation, without the risk of being edited through another form such as an article. This interview was particularly relevant to my assignment as it gives a well-rounded understanding of what drove her to write, as well as the conditions of the world she grew up in which directly impacted her need to create for others the representation she had to hunt for.

Ray, Michael. "Alison Bechdel". Encyclopedia Britannica, 6 Sep. 2020, https://www.britannica.com/biography/Alison-Bechdel. Accessed 3 April 2021. This article goes into depth about Alison Bechdel’s life and accomplishments. It summarizes the important events in her life such as her coming out at the age of nineteen, her fathers death and the theory that it was an act of suicide. It gives brief summaries of her best known works as well as her work on the comic strip Dykes to Watch out For which ran for twenty-five years, and the Bechdel Test which is used to evaluate movies based on gender inequality. It gives information about her works and awards. The contributors are Michael Ray, Emily Rodriguez, and Amy Tikkanen. Michael has a B.A. in History from Michigan state University, was a teacher, freelancer and full time copy editor prior to joining Britannica and oversees coverage of european history and Military affairs for them. Emily is an editor and her profile states she is an information architect for Encyclopedia Britannica. Editor and corrections manager who has been employed at britannica for more than twenty years. This source is fact checked by three editors, of which two have prior experience that would be considered reputable enough to give credit to the accuracy of the article, although it does not list it’s sources which is not ideal, it does provide a citation for its article for reader use. It is relevant to my research as it provides basic background knowledge on the author and her works, and allows a better understanding of her accomplishments and upbringing.

YoungVicLondon. "Pride 2018: In conversation with Alison Bechdel." Youtube, uploaded by YoungVicLondon, 06 July 2018, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U1_r8F2ubCo. Accessed 17 April 2021. This is a short interview where members of the LGBT community interview Alison Bechdel hosted by YoungVicLondon before Pride 2018. The interviewers ask her about the Bechdel test, and she explains how it came to be and who influenced it. When they question Alison about her role model or hero, which Bechdel responds by speaking about Joan E. Biren, being her first introduction to queer representation. When asked about other influences on her coming out or self identification as a lesbian, Bechdel states there was none, as there was no representation at the time. She speaks about how important representation is for those in the LGBT community and how her first pride made her feel less alone. Seeing as though this is a video interview, the source for this is straight from the subject which lends to the credibility of the information. Being a video interview, there is a possibility that the video could have been edited to appear differently or convey a different message, although that isn’t likely. This interview is very relevant to my research as it allows me to explain the influence or lack thereof on Alison Bechdel’s work, and emphasises her motivation for representation.

1 note · View note

bigskydreaming · 4 years

Note

Bruce started as batman at 18 didn't he? And is supossed he took dick a year later So did bruce adopted a 9 years old when he was 19??? And omg why doesn't anyone make fics about it, imagine a this young bruce taking care of a kid (lets imagine he is not been shitty written here please) I think it can be hillarous

Noooooooo, I don’t think there’s any comic continuity that goes with the idea Bruce was Batman already at 18. That idea is hilarious to me, because baby Bruce Batman is like, now a must have. LOL. But no, it tends to shift a lot due to frequent retcons, but as far as I’m aware, the general consensus is that Bruce left Gotham when he was eighteen to go traveling around the world and learning all his skills from various teachers.

This took a number of years (and also, he somehow had time in this period of his life to pop into college and get a degree there, though as far as I know that’s always just been one of those mentioned in passing things, so its likely no writers have really ever tried mapping out the timeline of when Bruce was in college versus world traveling).

Anyway, so we know that at some point in his early twenties Bruce returned to Gotham and began as Batman….and that he was Batman for only a couple years or so before the Graysons died and he took in Dick. So the youngest Bruce was is most likely twenty four or twenty five, which while still PLENTY young to be raising an eight or nine year old (and plenty of potential to be explored here), its not like its completely out of the realm of possibility, as there are teen fathers with similar age gaps between themselves and their kids by that point.

However, one thing I want to point out, that I don’t think I’ve ever seen mentioned before in discussions of how young Bruce was….is that there’s a huge difference between Bruce and other fathers his age who might have kids Dick’s age at that point.

And that is the fact that while Bruce at 24, raising an eight year old Dick, is about what you’d get if he’d had a kid at age 16….Bruce only STARTED raising Dick when he was ALREADY 24. This is significant, because the part of being a teen parent that tends to result in the most difficulty, by all accounts I’m aware of….is the TEEN part. Struggling to take care of a child while still being deemed mostly a child yourself in society’s eyes, having limited access to resources, education and other things, and by the time you’re old enough to be the ‘equal’ of most parents in terms of age, standing, etc….your child is already eight or nine as well.

What’s different here, of course, is that Bruce didn’t have Dick for the early parts of Dick’s life, and so while he’s still plenty young by the time he enters fatherhood around twenty four or so (even if that’s not what he thinks of it as at the time), he had no split focus or priorities keeping him from transitioning from a teenager to a fully independent adult BEFORE he arrived at that point.

What I mean is yes, Bruce raising Dick at age eight when he’s only twenty four IS superficially similar to someone who had a kid when they were sixteen, and now they’re 24 and their kid is 8…..but the how of getting to that point is vastly different, and thus results in Bruce being in an extremely different position when he’s raising an eight year old, than literally anyone else his age would have been in, taking in someone as old as Dick at that point.

I raise this merely because I think there’s a tendency to just look at the basic picture of Bruce age 24 taking in Dick age 8, and drawing conclusions just from that on a surface level - and I do think this also plays into the tendency to sometimes view Dick and Bruce’s dynamic as less father and son than with the others, because of how young Bruce was and how old Dick was.

But when you focus not on their ages, but the place in life that Bruce was at by that time….it presents a very different picture IMO. Bruce had all the advantages of wealth, he had Alfred’s support, help and guidance, he was finished with his schooling, college included, and while nominally involved in his family company he didn’t really have to work so much as he worked when he chose to. Plus on top of that, he’d already established himself as Batman for a couple years by that point, meaning by the time he chose to take Dick in, he’d already….grounded himself in his chosen life path and was committed to it and it was well underway.

Point being, despite his young age, Bruce was ideally situated to provide for a child (in terms of not just material things, but also in regards to being able to devote so much of his time and attention to Dick and his recovery). To a degree that even most parents years older than him would envy. And while the age gap between he and Dick in years isn’t that huge, in every other respect, there was no doubt that Bruce had everything he needed to occupy the role of primary caregiver/guardian/parental authority…..it was his money, his house, his company, his life’s ambition as Batman…..everything else besides his age was very much An Adult, Quite Capable of Adulting. (On paper, at least. LOL).

So I’m just saying, I think focusing just on their respective ages can paint a misleading picture. Since with all of the above in mind, Bruce and the stage in his life he was already at by the time he was twenty four….isn’t really all that comparable to what most twenty four year olds are like at that exact same point in life. So looking at him in his mid twenties raising an almost ten year old, I think you kinda have to…adjust for that, mentally. Because viewing Bruce and Dick through a lens without that adjustment and expecting to see a similar dynamic to what there is between most 24 year olds and 8 year olds….is bound to end up skewed.

And just to be clear, this is NOT to say that it was easy for Bruce to take in and raise Dick, by any means. I’m not a parent myself, but I can’t imagine that its ever easy or a given when it comes to taking in an orphaned child and not just raising them from that point, but helping them heal from their trauma as well. And no matter how much Bruce had going for him, he was still only twenty four or twenty five, and speaking from experience, it doesn’t matter HOW old you FEEL or THINK you are when you’re twenty four….give it another ten years, and you’re bound to look back at yourself and go “no, twenty four year old me was a baby. A toddler. What business did anyone have treating me like an adult, my adulthood was a LIE!”

Anyway. So yeah, I’m just saying….none of this is meant to disregard or gloss over how young Bruce still was and how much growing and maturing he still had to do himself, nor is it to suggest that it was ever going to be ‘easy’ to raise Dick, given everything he’d already been through by the time he ended up at Wayne Manor.

Its literally just about…..I’m all aboard the idea of exploring the dynamic between twenty four year old new (and in denial) father Bruce and his precocious eight year old (and not even ready to think about him in those terms yet) son Dick. Yes please!

I’m just saying that when doing so, an angle to possibly keep in mind is that Bruce at age twenty four was never going to have all that much in common with most people at age twenty four, and so trying to use other young single parents or other twenty four year olds or even yourself at age twenty four, is like…..probably not as useful or accurate a measuring stick as it might seem at first glance, IMO.

31 notes · View notes

choccos-aaart · 3 years

Text

Antag interview!

>>BASE<<

Feat. the five major antagonists of the story of April and friends: Mr Skatra, Dr Sarlife Aufel, Wyra, Eyn, and Farqua

*NOTE: Definitely got spoilers for the story I’m writing, if you’re interested :P*

**NOTE: I better’ve not written anything wrong here...**

Greetings, and welcome to the "Villians Interview Meme". Whether you like it or not, you've been brought here to answer some questions about yourself. This is a recording, pausing and starting controlled by your author, so you cannot attack me. If you begin to fight with one another, you WILL be sedated/strait-jacketed. Alright now, let's start.

Would you show the viewers a shred of kindness by allowing us to know your name(s)?

Skatra: Oh…? I’m first? Alright, then… Hello, my name is Abarran. ...Known by most as Mr Skatra.

Doc: Evening! I’m Sarlife. Others call me Doc. And, I am not sharing my surname. Who’s next?

Wyra: It’s me. Hi, hello, my name’s Wyra. I’m Sarlife’s action partner. I keep a look out for her, too.

Eyn: I’m Eyn, and I’m Abarran’s kid.

Farqua: Suppose they left the best for last, huh! Hi! The name’s Farqua Pells!

Are you male or female?

Skatra: I’m male.

Doc: I don’t conform. Next,

Wyra: I am female!

Eyn: Usually people get me all wrong, but I’m a girl. Don’t blame ‘em though…

Farqua: And I’m a man, haha!

How old are you in human years?

Skatra: Forty-nine. Almost fifty... *sigh*

Doc: I’ve existed for 77 years, but my AI depicts me as, I dunno, somewhere in my 30s? 40s? Either way, I’m a working adult.

Farqua: So ya let us know your age but y’ain’t givin’ off your last name? For real?

Doc: It’s embarrassing. Wyra, it’s your turn.

Wyra: My AI depicts me as about the same as Doc! But I could be younger. I was built in year X701 which was about 65 years ago.

Eyn: I’m 16. Well, at least I’m programmed to be 16. I was actually built six years ago. What about you, Farqua? Gonna bet you’re like programmed to be 10, haha.

Farqua: Shut up. Uhh, I’m in my 30s... In my programmin’, of course. Almost reachin’ my 50 years milestone in real time, though!

What exactly are you?

Skatra: Excuse me… what? If you’re asking whether I’m human or not, I’m human.

Doc; Yeah, a pathetic one.

Skatra: Would you shut up?! …By the way, the rest of them are androids.

Doc: You really had to answer for us, didn’t you?

Skatra: It saves time.

Do you have any powers?

Skatra: No… Doctor?

Doc: Well, a lot of medical tools can be transformed out of my arm. And I’ve built myself a little machine that can automatically mix different medicines and whatnot.

Wyra: Well, I’ve learned to use my power source abilities for things that aren’t just powering things. Something I can do is produce power from both my star-panels and my natural gas source, which I think is cool.

Eyn: Alright. Uh… My arm’s literally a toolbox. No, literally, it can like, shoot a bunch of tools out of it. Well, those tools really are just these cool things that unfold from these tiny boxes. Weird science stuff I don’t wanna explain. Also, my arm used to be for weapons n’ stuff. Oh yeah, I forgot to mention I was originally built to commit some revenge robbery or something, so I’m packed with a whole bunch of stealth n’ robbery stuff like, y’know. Too lazy to list it all down, though…

Farqua: Damnit Eyn, now you’re makin’ me feel pathetic!

Eyn: Well, boo-hoo.

Farqua: So, uhh… ‘s just my arm can transform into just a whole buncha garden n’ landscapin’ tools. That’s it, really.

Skatra: If it makes you happy, that’s every slasher film writer’s dream.

Farqua: Well, ain’t that nice!

Who is your archrival, and what do you hate about them? Do they have powers?

Skatra: It’s you, Doctor, Wyra, and all your affiliates!

Wyra: Yeah, whatever.

Doc: Ah yes, I greatly apologise for ruining your life to KEEP THE PEOPLE I CARE ABOUT SAFE!

Farqua: Well Doc, y’ain’t gonna deny that almost everyone hates your way of doin’ it, are ya? And April fights for ‘em, too.

Doc: YOU DON’T NEED TO BE INVOLVED, FARQUA!

Farqua: Shiieeeet… Calm ya farm. ...Wait, that doesn’t work in my accent.

Skatra: And also, that blasted April! I hate that child! She has and is still playing a big part of tearing my life to pieces, as if it wasn’t unbearable enough!

Farqua: Goddamn! Now everyone’s bein’ real overdramatic!

Eyn: So, uh, April’s pretty much my rival, too. And we always keep running into each other. It’s almost like some stupid rival logic you see in comics and TV and stuff.

Farqua: Ha! Imagine havin’ that happen to ya? Haha!

Eyn: … And who’s your rival, Farqua? Aren’t you just the henchman-turned-hostage?

Farqua: Shut up.

Eyn: Thought so.

Farqua: But as hostage I kept bickerin’ with Matro. Does that count?

Eyn: That’s fair. …Wait. I forgot to mention, April doesn’t really have powers. When we thought we were gonna be friends when we met the first time, I sorta turned her old stick into a weapon. Yeah. Things really backfired on me.

Do you rule over any sort of land, country, county?

Skatra: I could never rule something like that…

Doc: Oh no; I’ve got no knowledge or interest in being a ruler. I’m just a doctor.

Wyra: I can’t either, since I once accidentally caused a power outage in my old city!

Doc: And though the answer’s pretty obvious already, what about you, Eyn? Do you rule a population of some sort?

Eyn: Nah. It doesn’t even seem cool.

Farqua: Me neither. Huh! Weird that none of us are that typa antagonist?

Skatra: Now that you say it… I agree.

Why are you considered "the bad guy"?

Skatra: Well… I’ll admit, my goal is to take probably the most important thing that the building’s got, and yes, many robots were taken advantage of in the process.

Doc: And people were hurt. And you’ve committed murder before – oho, blood’s on your hands.

Skatra: DOCTOR! I thought our therapy session was meant to be confidential!

Doc: Oops, my bad.

Skatra: And it looks like we’ve got a reason why Doctor’s a part of this interview. Any more you want to say about yourself?

Doc: Ah… Uh… I forced a lot of innocents into getting involved and even fight in this mess of a situation. And yes, without their consent. Or their families’ consent. And by doing that, their lives were all at stake. Yeah, I regret it. Fly me to skuelk.

Wyra: I’m Doc’s action partner and out of the two of us, I think I’ve actively hurt April the most. And April’s still a little kid! That’s definitely given me a bad look!

Eyn: Eh, I just help Dad with stuff. And it really looks like I don’t care much about hurting people. That’s it, really. And I guess I also run into April the most, and a lot of the story’s from her perspective, so I guess I’m really put under a bad light.

Farqua: Same story! I’m one of Skatra’s guys! Except I’M THE ONLY ONE THAT GOT CAPTURED BY APRIL N’ FRIENDS AND IT’S SO FUCKIN’ EMBARRASSIN’.

Do you consider yourself purely evil?

Skatra: No! Who would?!

Wyra: Not me! I’ve just been called sadistic!

Doc: Let’s be completely real. Nobody really considers themselves evil. All of us just want to do what we feel like is right.

Eyn: Yeah, I don’t think I’m doing anything evil. I guess it’s sometimes I’m not knowing the difference between not giving a shit what everyone thinks about me versus doing what everyone agrees is morally wrong.

Farqua: Whoa! Ya got a lot of wisdom for a kid!

Skatra: And where do you think she got that from, hm?

Farqua: Stop lyin’ to yourself, she ain’t your biological daughter.

Skatra: Shut up.

What do you think of the others in the quiz room?

Skatra: Well first off, Eyn’s my daughter, the only family member I’m happy talking to, and I love her a lot. Doctor’s a bit… I don’t know. From my experience, they’ve been a very caring and genuine person at first. Wyra’s a bit of an oddball. I still think she’s a bit scary to approach. Those two are definitely people you wouldn’t want as an enemy, but then again, here I am. And that leaves Farqua, who’s probably just as competent as he is annoying. What about you, Doctor?

Farqua: WHA-

Doc: Ehrm, thanks for acknowledging that about me. Anyways, as much as I hate what you’re doing, Abarran, and mind me, I’m being as honest as I can, you’re just someone who needs help. It honestly hurts to watch you and what you’re doing. Wyra is a close friend of mine! We’re completely different, but it’s as if she completely understands me. And Farqua, you’re… You’re alright, I guess. Also, I’ve been hoping for you to just stop trying to be my “rival” ever since you read that aphorism, “an apple a day keeps the doctor away.” And Eyn, I can tell you’re hiding behind a façade; just reveal that you dress and act the way you do because you’re a fan of the Axel Duiti series. To me, you’re as easy to read as a children’s book.

Eyn: Hey! I mean… Never mind. Uh… My dad’s like the only guy that’s got my back. He’s cool. Dr Sarlife’s like, I dunno, a bit scary to talk to. Also, what’s up with the bunny ears?

Doc: That’s none of your… Alright, to tell you the truth, I worked at a children’s hospital. Let’s not get off topic, now. What are your thoughts on Wyra and Farqua?

Eyn: Oh. Uh… Wyra’s so hyper, it’s exhausting. But, I think we can get along? I dunno… I hope we do. And Farqua’s pretty cool. We get along pretty well. But cut off the “howdy” unless you’re gonna say that to everyone. That’s all.

Wyra: From what I know so far, I know I get along with Sarlife the best! Skatra’s, I dunno. All I know about him is through what Sarlife told me, and I think he’s a bit of a prick that could do with some fixing up. Maybe. I think Eyn’s cool! I think I’ve seen the Axel Duiti series on telly before, and I think that’s a good way to start talking! And now, Farqua. Um… Definitely a bit weird. But I find that endearing!

Farqua: That’s… That’s it? ‘Right, guess it’s my turn, then! First off, Doc, Wyra n’ Skatra, you’re all assholes for doin’ all the stuff you’re doin’ and for all the stuff ya said ‘bout me. And Eyn, you can still look like a badass and be open ‘bout all your apparently “less cool” self. Look at me? I look all cute n’ cuddly n’ sweet, but I’m pretty open ‘bout my reckless n’ aggressive nature n’ stuff, ya get?

Eyn: Wow… Didn’t expect a pep-talk but okay, I’ll take that.

Farqua: No prob, kiddo!

On a rate of one to ten, how powerful do you think the villain next to you is?

Skatra: Oh God, I hate rating like this. Uh… Doctor’s probably a 7.

Doc: …That’s fair; I’ll take it. I was going to say 7 for you. Wyra’s close to an 8.

Wyra: No offence Sarlife, but I reckon you’re a 6, for me.

Doc: None taken.

Wyra: Eyn’s a 9 for me. I’ve seen her with April and it’s not pretty.

Eyn: Wyra’s probably a, I dunno, 7…? Farqua’s 1.

Farqua: WHAT?!

Eyn: But with your limbs, you’re, I dunno, 8. You’re pretty strong and got a bunch of tools and stuff.

Farqua: Well, Eyn, I’m givin’ you an 8! Remember, this’s all ‘bout perspective.

Now, how powerful do you consider yourself to be?

Skatra: 4… 5…? I can’t get over it.

Doc: 6 or a 7. I don’t think I can give myself anything else after that last question.

Wyra: Tough. Probably 7? Or 8.

Eyn: 8.

Farqua: God, some of y’all don’t think that high of yourselves, huh! I’m givin’ myself a 9!

Do you have an evil laugh?

Skatra: No, that’s stupid.

Doc: Can we all agree on this and move on?

Eyn: Yeah.

Wyra: Done and done!

Farqua: You guys are borin’ as hell y’know. I sorta do have one actually! But I guess tha’s ‘cause Matro keeps tellin’ me I’m just mean-spirited. And sadistic too, but it ain’t like that!

Do ya fear death?

Skatra: Er… I’ll pass on this one…

Doc: Alright. No, I don’t, honestly.

Wyra: I agree! I don’t really care. I’ve kind of experienced it, before.

Eyn: Well, I do. I’ve still got things I wanna get outta the way and I don’t wanna miss ‘em.

Farqua: Do I fear death? Well, I guess I do! I’ve seen it countless times ‘cause I’ve been to every burial held at the buildin’ and I see everybody all heartbroken n’ stuff. Makes me worry, y’know, ‘bout all the people who care ‘bout me n’ all.

Docc: Well, to be fair, we do all have the choice to live for as long as we want, as long as we’re not seriously damaged to the point beyond repair. Well, except for Abarran, here. He’s human and we’re all bound to outlive him.

Skatra: That’s not very nice.

What's your goal, exactly? Or are you just evil for the heck of it?

Skatra: It’s quite basic, really. So, to put it simply, nearly fifty years of hard work’s gone down the drain. And to make up for all of it, I felt the need to do something big. So, my goal is to take the proclo machine and reveal it to the world as something of mine. Yes, I know I’ll be living a lie, but I just want to make an impact of some sort that’ll change the world, whether it be for the better or for the worse, and once the whole world hates me, I’ll just end it all there.

Doc: Alright… Well, I just want to keep this building, you know, ALIVE. I care about everyone and everything that has to do with this building, and I’ll do anything if it means this building lives on. And that’s it! I mean it literally!

Wyra: Everything I know about this situation is through Sarlife, really. She told me everything, and when I say “anything,” I mean it. I care about this building, a lot, too! ...Eyn? What about you? Let me guess: you just want to make your dad proud of you, right?

Eyn: That’s one of them. But also, there was this one guy that commissioned me, he gave me a mission, and I failed it. Big time. Then I got left on the shelf for years, he commissioned another robot n�� stuff, and once that was done, I was sold somewhere to do some more stuff that I didn’t do so well at either, and then I was sold again. I didn’t really feel like I had anything good to do in this world, so that sucked. And then Dad picked me up from the markets and now I’m making sure I don’t fail at anything, anymore.

Farqua: … This is awkward… I ain’t got much of a motive… I just, I dunno, work for the guy- I mean Skatra…

Doc: THAT’S BECAUSE HE MANAGED TO TAKE CONTROL OF YOUR GOAL SYSTEM, YOU ABSOLUTE BUFFOON!!

Farqua: Goddamn! Ya gotta calm down! And I thought I was aggressive!

Do you have henchmen/a henchman?

Skatra: A lot of robots, yes, I do.

Doc: ROBOTS WHO WERE MY FRIENDS THAT YOU TOOK ADVANTAGE OF, THAT’S WHO!

Wyra: They were my friends, too, you know!

Skatra: You know, you’ll both eventually end up working for me, sooner or later.

Doc: I’ll make sure that doesn’t happen.

Wyra: We’ve gathered a lot of the non-robotic inhabitants of the building, anyway, to help get rid of you! And Eyn, too!

Skatra: Ooh, I’m soo scared.

Eyn: … Okay so, I work with my dad, so all those robots- I mean Dr Sarlife and Wyra’s friends are sorta my henchmen, too. Wow, that makes me sound really villainous, haha…

Farqua: So! It’s my turn, now, ain’t it? WELL, JOKES ON Y’ALL, I AM A HENCHMAN!

What do you drive?

Skatra: My little car, with a trailer attached. How do you think I got to the building?

Doc: I drive a scooter. It’s very easy to get around which is great!

Wyra: I’m not very good at driving. But, I have had a go on the hover bikes which are fun!

Eyn: I sorta know how to drive Dad’s car, but I know the anatomy n’ whatnot better than I can drive.

Farqua: Goddamnit, EYN can drive, too?! Well…! Matro said he’d teach me to drive the train later on.

Doc: What?

Wyra: You and Matro are all buddy-buddy, now?

Farqua: Sorta!

Doc: Well…. That’s surprising…

Wyra: Since when?

Farqua: Huh. You’re getting’ a little jealous now I’m spedin’ a lot of my time with your ol’ pal, ain’t ya?

What do you do when you aren't trying to do whatever you're trying to achieve?

Skatra: What do I do… Well, aside from moping in my apartment all day, I like to build machines and do some arthropod photography.

Doc: For me, you’d find me obviously doing my work. During my breaks, I take walks all around the building, and occasionally, I’d draw over my papers. I’m not a very skilled artist, though…

Wyra: I like to watch some telly! And just travel around the building while I’m not doing my work, of course!

Eyn: So, as Dr Sarlife said, you probably already know I’m a huge fan of the Axel Duiti series, so I re-watch the show, re-read the comics, and all that stuff. I also like playing bass guitar and helping Dad with building and stuff. That’s it, really.

Farqua: First off, I’m a gardener and a landscaper, so catch me up on the rooftop gardens doin’ my thing. When I ain’t doin’ all that, you’ll find me in the library reading some books about, I dunno, random stuff.

Were you ever a double-crosser (pretended to be on the opposite team, then stabbed them in the back)?

Skatra: Well, I—

Doc: THAT’S EXACTLY WHAT YOU DID TO ME!

Skatra: Doctor, there is no need to yell! Good God!

Doc: You can’t deny that it’s true, though. For me, I would never do that.

Wyra: Never done it! If anything, I like being honest.

Eyn: Well, I’ve tried doing that. It didn’t go very well… Farqua, your turn.

Farqua: Oh yeah. Mine’s damn interestin’, alright. ‘Cause if April and friends DIDN’T get to me first, I woulda done exactly that!

Skatra: I’m pretty sure I heard them say they thought you were up to something beforehand, so…

Farqua: Wh… How do you even hear this stuff?

Skatra: Your point of view was connected to my computers, why?

Farqua: …OKAY. I FORGOT. SORRY.

On a scale of 1 to 10, how often do you lie? *gives them truth serum*

Skatra: Oh God… 8

Doc: 3. Lying isn’t that big a thing for both robots and doctors, and then there’s me.

Wyra: 4. Like I said, I like to be truthful. Just saying.

Eyn: 5. I’m pretty honest.

Farqua: 6-ish.

Skatra: … You’re joking! I lie the most out of all of us?

Farqua: Well, y’gotta face it. You’re the only human here.

What color is your: hair?

Skatra: Dark green. ...For some reason.

Doc: It’s some sort of brown.

Wyra: A bit reddish-brown. Think of Sarlife’s favourite pants.

Doc: ...

Eyn: I wish I had hair…

Farqua: Ain’t that also why you wear a hat?

Eyn: I guess…

Farqua: Anyways, I ain’t got no hair too, ‘cause my design’s just like that, y’know! Gotta admit, I still pull off a cute look, huh!

Eyes?

Skatra: Dark, dark brown.

Doc: My irises are generally jet black and my sclerae are white. When I’m under the influence of an energy chip, my sclerae turn a blueish colour.

Farqua: “SCELRAE, SCELRAE,” look, ya don’t gotta go all textbook talk mode on us.

Doc: ...You could’ve at least been a little bit nicer...

Eyn: Uh… My eyes are black. Dad says I’m not allowed to have effect chips yet, so my whites are always white.

Farqua: For most of the story, I’m not on anything so you’d see my eyes are just like Eyn’s. But a lot of the time, when I’m not working, you’d catch the white bits of my eyes turned bright yellow! Forgot which chip it was but I set up a whole stash months ago!

Wyra: Um… I’ve got no irises!

Skin?

Skatra: Some sort of darkish beige.

Doc: I don’t really have skin, but I’m painted grey.

Wyra: Also painted grey.

Eyn: My paints are a bit weird. A lot of my body’s green, some areas are painted cream, my forearms and below the knees are painted brown, and my face is grey. Sorry if it’s a lot.

Farqua: I’m painted mostly red with some super light yellow in some places. I’ve got some small bits that’re this dark purply brown, too. And my upper arms, whatcha call it, are—

Doc: Your brac-

Farqua: WOULD YA— Doc, don’t do that. …Anyways, my whatchamacallits ain’t really painted at all.

Whats your uniform/favorite outfit?

Skatra: Since it’s winter, I’ve been wearing my favourite turtleneck at lot, recently. I like to pair it with my long coat.

Doc: My only outfit is my doctors’ uniform. It’d be kind of strange to see me wear anything else.

Wyra: I’ve got my work uniform. That’s it, really.

Eyn: Right now, I’m wearing an outfit based off Axel Duiti. He’s an outlaw in the old Earthian west.

Farqua: I AIN’T WEARIN’ NO CLOTHES, HAHA! And that’s ‘cause my designers made sure I was too good for ‘em.

Have you ever gone mad?

Skatra: Mad…? As in angry or…

Doc: I think they mean gone totally mental. As in you’ve lost your mind.

Skatra: Oh. Yes, I did. When, I’m not going to mention any names here, an ex-friend of mine put my years-worth of effort down the drain back in… X761, I think? What about you, Doctor?

Doc: Ah, I remember that one time… That one time Eyn nearly got me to fall under your control... And then, after that, you took all the little nurses and doctors that worked with me as prisoners... Hm, and it was a threat, too! All so I wouldn’t publicise your dastardly plan!

Skatra: Good God, you didn’t need to go into that much detail!

Doc: Anywho, what about you, Wyra? Anything similar?

Wyra: I don’t recall, really. Eyn?

Eyn: Nope.

Doc: Really? Even after everything that’s happened to you?

Eyn: Nope. And I hope it doesn’t happen to me. That’d be embarrassing.

Farqua: I ain’t had that happen to me, either! Guess that’s just a side effect of being old, huh!

Wyra: Haha!

Skatra: Excuse me?!

Doc: Farqua, you, Wyra and I were ALL programmed to behave the same age– WHAT MAKES YOU THINK YOU CAN SAY THAT TO ME?!

Farqua: Well, just like I said to Matro, “Stress. It ages ya.”

Doc: It doesn’t. …Alright, it does! But that doesn’t mean you can say what you just said!

Wyra: Wait... I’m stressed...?

If so, did you enjoy it?

Skatra: No! Of course, not!

Doc: If anyone had half a brain, even they’d know not to enjoy something like that!

Skatra: You don’t even have an organic brain and you, too, know not to enjoy something like that.

Doc: … Your daughter is right here.

Skatra: OH MY GOD, I’m so sorry!

Eyn: It’s okay, Dad.

Have any family?

Skatra: I do, back at the city. I haven’t spoken with them in almost thirty years. Eyn is the only closest family I’ve got.

Eyn: Yeah, I’ve just got him, too.

Doc: Uh, me? I can’t say. I guess if you count my model’s predecessors and successors. It makes sense.

Farqua: Same story as Doc, I guess.

Wyra: Same’s too!

Have you ever been in love? If you have, do they love you back?

Skatra: A few times I thought I did, actually. Once in high school, twice in university, and after, I realised love wasn’t anything of my interest. I’m not complaining, though.

Wyra: Definitely! I been in love before!

Skatra: Robots can… Do that...?

Wyra: Um, yeah?

Doc: I haven’t, really. Also, this might be related, but I’ve done so a few times ever since I created the lust chip, and experimented with myself.

Eyn: Lust chip…? The heck?

Farqua: Woo-hoo, Doc, who were they?

Doc: In my first trial, it was my human anatomy model, and eventually my human skeleton model.

Farqua: … What – ya didn’t go head-over-heels with anyone alive?

Doc: Of course not! Why would I experiment with those chips around people?!

Farqua: Oh. Well, I ain’t fallen in love yet. Maybe ‘cause I’ve yet to get the hots for anyone ‘round here. Even with the lust chip! Surprisin, huh! …Y’know, since I gotta admit, I do like to look a lil cuter, don’t I?

Eyn: Uh… Well, there’s this uvra girl...

Farqua: …

Doc: …

Wyra: ...

Skatra: Eyn, you’ve fallen in love?!

Can you cook?

Skatra: Well, yes! I have to eat to survive. It’s a human thing.

Doc: I’ve tried teaching myself to. It’s not that difficult, actually.

Wyra: I can, a bit! I’m not very skilled though, and people have just told me to just stick to working the gas, rather than actually working with the gas.

Eyn: Dad’s been teaching me some. He says I’m a natural, haha.

Farqua: Well, I sorta do. I ain’t that great at it, though. Shucks, I gotta up my cookin’ game!

Do you despise the Earth?

Skatra: Not really. Earth is history after all, so why should I care so much?

Farqua: Some people hate stuff from the past, y’know,

Skatra: That’s fair.

Doc: Well, despite everything, I’m pretty indifferent.

Wyra: Earth’s pretty cool if you ask me. Shame I can’t actually see it for myself, though.

Eyn: I don’t know much about Earth. But Axel lives in that place, so that’s cool.

Farqua: I’m all about Earth! There ain’t nothin else I’ve been readin’ about lately!

What's your pet peeve?

Skatra: When anyone leaves anything personal unlocked. Imagine seeing a bag or a house’s door left open. How do people even do that? I remember back in high school nobody would lock their lockers unless they actually had to. It bothered me so much to the point where I locked one of my classmates’. That was also the time I made my first enemy. Well, not really; the person barely knew me! But they swore they’d kill me.

Doc: The fact that engineers aren’t being as creative with android antennae anymore! Are they not accepting creatives into the industry anymore or something? ...No offence, Farqua.

Farqua: Yeah, fine. Whatever.

Wyra: I think my pet peeve is when people are super nitpicky and pick out really small and meaningless details, as if they’re gonna do something big. Like, what’s the point?

Eyn: When people talk over TV shows and movies and stuff. Why would you even do that?

Farqua: Hm… I think I hate when people run over plants. Y’know, like the ones that ain’t grass n’ all that. They’re alive, too, y’know! And they especially don’t get stepped on like that!

What kind of music to you like?

Skatra: I’ve enjoyed all forms of jazz. I think big band’s my favourite.

Doc: This might be surprising, but I actually prefer genres like breakbeat. Or, if I want to relax, I’ll listen to space ambiance.

Wyra: Happy hardcore, hardstyle, handsup - anything that’s energising, really!

Eyn: Rock n’ roll and blues are my favourites. Maybe some ska-punk, too. I feel like a total badass when listening to them.

Farqua: I love some good punk rock, or maybe even add somethin’ like some folkier flavour to songs like those!

What's your favorite food?

Skatra: Tiramisu. I don’t have it often, but I guess that’s why it’s my favourite.

Doc: ...I’m a robot. But I’ve always wanted to try dark chocolate.

Wyra: Me too! I don’t know what they taste like, but maybe cheese and nachos will do it for me!

Eyn: Dad’s always told me about different foods, but I think he’s described ramen noodles the best.

Farqua: I been told that honey-lemon chicken tastes great! I really wanna taste that!

Are you bored, want to kill me, satisfied with this quiz, etc.?

Skatra: I’ve been enjoying it a bit, actually.

Doc: Me too. I was afraid I’d get bored. ...Sorry.

Wyra: I enjoyed it! It was a lot of questions to get through though, but I’m still here!

Eyn: Eh, it was cool, I guess…

Farqua: I ain’t gonna kill ya, I promise! ...I mean, it was good!

Who's your favorite villain other than yourself?

Skatra: I don’t know. Why would I have a favourite villain? Or if you’re talking about the people in this group, I guess, it’s Eyn. She’s my daughter, after all.

Doc: Wyra’s one of my closest friends. Of course, I’d pick her.

Wyra: Right back at you, Sarlife!

Eyn: I guess, I’ve just got my dad. Or, if you meant it that way, I really like one named Taft Grater. He’s one of the villains of the Axel Duiti series. He’s really well written.

Farqua: Huh! This is a tough one! I dunno, maybe Wyra.

Do you think you're gonna die in your story?

Skatra: I don’t know. Like everyone else, I hope not, but I’ll just take what’s thrown at me.

Doc: Let’s hope I don’t!

Wyra: I don’t think I’ll die!

Eyn: I hope not, too.

Farqua: WELL, I BETTER NOT!!!

Well, I have to go, and I'm sure you have a lot of evil scheming to do. Peace out! (Or should I say "destruction out!" in your cases?) For your creators, go tag someone! Please, it won't take long!

Me lol: (Sorry! :’D)

Anything to add now that I'm done rambling?

Me lol: Not really, actually! but it was fun :D

Look! Please do it if you have villains, and credit me!

Please spread the word!

(I don't have much time, I have a timed session, as I'm using some random wifi server, so I'll add more later!)

#Chocco's OCs #Mr Skatra #Dr Aufel #Wyra Kappel #Eyn Duiti #Farqua Pells #Project: Proclo #Chocco does memes #Chocco's writing #Chocco's scripts #Chocco's info dumps #Dr Sarlife Aufel #Doc / Sarlife #Eyn Duiti Skatra

1 note · View note

antiquatedfuture · 4 years

Text

Zine Care Packages (Antiquated Future Spring Newsletter)

What a challenging time. Things have felt pretty bleak and I debated about whether to send this spring newsletter a lot, but friends convinced me we're all in need of good news. If nothing else, I want to say two things: 1) We'll still be shipping orders (with plenty of hand-washing and sanitizing) several times a week. 2) While we always appreciate and need your financial support, we'd also like to offer the resources we have to any of you who are having a hard time.

In short: We're offering free zines (and tapes and books) to anyone who's currently struggling financially, mentally, or physically right now. No need to tell us details, just email and say "I'd like a package," and we'll send one your way. Let it be a surprise or make a list of what you'd like and we'll send you what we can. Feel free to spread the word to your friends and community through our Facebook or Twitter posts. It's not much, admittedly, but hopefully it's something.

In more general distro news: we have a few more calendars & planners in stock (and very very on sale), we’ve been restocking things as much as we can, and we accidentally left up our temporary store-wide cassette sale (that also includes a decent handful of LPs and CDs) as well as our zine sale on select titles. We also just posted a newsletter from the record label side of Antiquated Future. We're currently lending some small financial assistance to Portland writer Martha Grover as she recovers from a brain surgery by selling a fundraiser pack of her Somnambulist zine. And if you're in the Portland area, we're helping do porch deliveries of food, baby supplies, and various resources. Please reach out if you'd like one or you know someone in need.

NEW ZINES Antonia- A rare, almost-sublime zine about place, memory, and lost history. About the ways things change and stay the same. About how the place you're from shapes who you become. About growing up in a small Midwestern town without a zip code, a place not on most maps. ($5) Behind the Zines #9: A Zine About Zines- The latest issue of newest best zine about zines around. Within: the evolution of DIY comics culture, zine-fest history, imagined zines, One Punk's Guide to collaborative zines, a history of that one Crimethinc poster, The Most Unwanted Zine, confessions of a sex-zine zinester. Contributions from our own Gina Sarti, as well as John Porcellino and so many others. ($3) Brainscan #34: A Dabbler's Week of DIY Witchery- In the wake of the controversy surrounding a recent viral article about spending a week "becoming a witch," Alex considers what her guide to a witchcraft practice would look like. The results are a day-by-day guide to trying out her particular variety of secular witchcraft (that she lovingly refers to as "DIY witchery"). ($4)

Caboose #12: Jury Duty- A personal story of serving as a juror on a medical malpractice suit. As usual, Liz Mason's playful, endlessly curious take on the world makes this a ride worth taking. A peek into the court system through the eyes of this long-running zine-star. ($4) Clock Tower Nine #15- One of our favorite Seattle zines is back with tales from the record store counter, long walks in various locales, dangerous doppelgängers, and 8-track tapes. As Clock Tower Nine ringleader Danny Noonan describes it in the introduction: "This fanzine is like a bunch of people sitting around a fire in late fall, all taking turns telling a story." ($3) Cometbus #59: Post-Mortem- How does Cometbus, after 38 years as a zine, just get better and better? It's a mystery, but it does. Issue 59 is a deep dive into both death and longevity in the underground. In short: what does sustainability look like in counterculture? This question takes Aaron on a journey from the Epitaph Records and Thrasher magazine offices to hanging out at a punk-owned vegan donut shop and a tamale stand at the farmer's market with Allison Wolfe (of Bratmobile). ($5)

Doris #23- A back-issue fave from one of the best zines ever. Long personal stories that look both outward and inward in surprising ways. ($2) Doris #26- Shy-punk-girl comics, social ecology, the cynical hour, a grandpa who built malls, hammer and nail history, and more. ($2) Eulalia #3- Two issues of the art zine Eulalia in one. Grief and romance, hand-in-hand. Gorgeously designed! Letterpress-printed covers. Each issue is bound with a special do-si-do binding, so each half can be read separately. ($10) Fluke Fanzine #17- Since 1991, Fluke has been creating great variety zines covering all realms of punk and underground culture. Graphic novelist Nate Powell, skateboard magazine historians, Maximum Rocknroll, R.E.M., '90s women-led punk, the Soophie Nun Squad family tree, more. ($3)

Forever & Everything #5- Comics on parenting, depression, coffee, therapy, alcohol, Willie Nelson, Charlie Brown, and living in New Orleans. ($5) Good Days Gone Cold Days- A photography zine/art zine made while living and working in "a house without heat, without doorknobs, and without much insulation or electricity to speak of" for a late fall in western Pennsylvania. Comes with homemade bookmark, building permit, and banjo tab. ($12) Keep Loving, Keep Fighting #8- A reprint of this 2008 issue of Keep Loving, Keep Fighting. Forty pages of feeling at home in New Orleans, communication between friends, death, visiting Montreal, and moving away. ($5)

Learning Good Consent- An essential compilation zine about consent. From personal stories to worksheets, approaches, definitions, resources, and beyond, Learning Good Consent is here to help us all feel more comfortable and be more respectful. ($4)

Little Leagues #1- The companion comics scrapbook to Simon Moreton's epic Minor Leagues series. Prose, comics and photos about being in Japan, making chutney, experiencing autumn. ($3) Little Leagues #2- Comics about being in the snow. Drawings and photos of spring. A fold-out cover with facts about lesser-spotted dogfish. ($3) Our Lady of Near Death Experiences- Jodi Darby writes about becoming a cross-country truck driver as a 23-year-old woman in the mid 1990s. A mini-memoir told in vignettes, Our Lady is a twisted love song to the road in all its complexities. A gorgeous reprint of this zine classic from 1998. (And we have the last few copies before it goes out of print!) ($10)

The Paruretic #1: The Story of a Guy Who's Pee Shy- The first issue of one of our favorite new zine series. The Paruretic tells what the intricacies and complexities of life with parusesis, the social phobia of being pee shy. Illuminating, accessible, and worth reading every issue. ($2)

The Paruretic #2: The Story of a Guy Who's Pee Shy (College)- In this issue, Mark recalls figuring out the debilitating effects of his bladder issues when he goes to college and, for the first time, navigates living in dorms, drinking at college-town bars, and hooking-up. ($3)

The Paruretic #3: The Story of a Guy Who's Pee Shy (Vacation)- In this issue: searching out acceptable bathrooms while on the road, not urinating for ten hours while in the air, and a bathroom-by-bathroom diary of experiences. ($3) The Paruretic #4: The Story of a Guy Who's Pee Shy (The Search for Help)- In this issue, Mark reaches out, looking for help, and is met with a less-than-sympathetic medical system. Within: clueless medical professionals, almost losing a job over a urinalysis, and finally finding someone who understands. ($3) The Paruretic #5: The Story of a Guy Who's Pee Shy (Dating)- The dating issue covers how Mark handled (or avoided handling) dating in high school and college. It's a chronicle of, as Mark says, "how my shy bladder has driven every part of my love life." ($3)

Somnambulist Zine Pack Fundraiser- For the past 17 years, Portland memoirist and illustrator Martha Grover has been publishing Somnambulist zine, an expansive and playful look at the world at large (and easily one of the best zines running today). This pack includes all nine in-print issues of Somnambulist (a $40 value for $25!). All proceeds go straight to Martha's brain surgery recovery fund. Help a great writer, get nine amazing zines. ($25) Somnambulist #33: How to Survive the Portland Winter- A fun how-to guide from Portland-born writer Martha Grover. Within: dealing with all the rain, taking care of your mental health, venturing out, staying in, eating soup (with recipes!), and the truth about umbrellas. Illustrated by Liz Yerby. ($5)

Somnambulist #34: The Starfish- A single, long-form essay about Martha's journey through Cushing's disease and Addison's disease, and the lingering tumor she's chosen to not demonize or see as something separate. The Starfish is a surprising and exciting meditation on what it means to be in a body. ($3) Surely, They'll Tear it Down- A short zine letter about gender, race, identity, and not-knowing from the author of Fixer Eraser and We, the Drowned. ($2) Tattoo Punk Fanzine, Issue 3- A jam-packed new issue of Tattoo Punk, the fanzine about tattoos, punks, and tattooed punks. Edited by Ben Trogdon of everyone's favorite artsy punk paper, Nuts! ($15) Valentines Every Day- Weirdo anytime-valentines from zine-seller extraordinaire, Julie Wade. Funny, bizarre, off-kilter, occasionally unsettling. The perfect gift for that especially-odd someone. ($6) What Happened- A dreamy comic from UK artist Simon Moreton. Set in a '90s boyhood of meadows, sci-fi VHS tapes, MTV, crushes, first kisses. ($5)

NEW BOOKS & MISCELLANY The Collected Plays by Portland Preschoolers- In short: One of our favorite little books around! A modern classic, even. Five years of collected plays written by Portland, Oregon preschoolers. Hilarious, invariably bizarre, oddly brilliant, sometimes surprisingly profound. Perfect for putting out on the coffee table, reading aloud to friends, impromptu group performances. ($10) Four-Year Depression- A book about figuring out how to love your family in the Trump era. From Billy McCall of Proof I Exist and Behind the Zines. ($10) Zine Game- A long-time favorite in the zine community, now in a fancy, professionally-made version accessible to all game lovers. Playing like a cross between canasta and Magic: The Gathering, Zine Game is all about building your own zines. A really fun time with tons of possibilities. ($16)

NEW MUSIC & SPOKEN WORD Alice Notley "Live in Seattle"- An LP of one of the most adored living poets. Alice Notley pushes boundaries, and it's an absolute joy to hear her reading her work. (LP + digital download) ($16.95) Annelyse Gelman & Jason Grier "About Repulsion"- A collaboration between poet Annelyse Gelman and sound artist Jason Grier. About Repulsion mixes songs, sampled poems, textural walls, beats, noise, to create this EP of one-of-a-kind soundscapes. (LP + digital download) ($16.95) Eileen Myles "Aloha / Irish Trees"- The legendary poet Eileen Myles, on vinyl for the first time. Aloha/Irish Trees features nearly an hour of Myles live in the studio, reading past and present poems. Intimate, playful, raw. (LP + digital download) ($16.95)

Harmony Holiday "The Black Saint and the Sinnerman"- Harmony Holiday's record of poems and sound collage. Adventurous and accessible, twisting cultural images into something surprising, political, socially aware. In conversation with Charles Mingus’ classic 1963 album The Black Saint and the Sinner Lady. (LP + digital download) ($16.95) Rae Armantrout "Conflation"- Fifty-four surprising and gloriously unique poems from Rae Armantrout, a Pulitzer-winning poet of great gifts. (LP + digital download) ($16.95) Susan Howe & Nathaniel Mackey "Stray: A Graphic Tone"- Made in collaboration with Shannon Ebner, Stray: A Graphic Tone juxtaposes historic and recent material from poets Susan Howe and Nathaniel Mackey. An adventurous LP of spoken word delights. (LP + digital download) ($16.95)

Stay well, take care of each other as much as possible. Xo, Antiquated Future

#zine distro #new zines #zines #chapbooks #spoken word #vinyl #new lps #new books #care packages #zine care packages #free zines #portland

6 notes · View notes

toast-the-unknowing · 5 years

Note

Hey can you rec some of your favorite books? Especially books that you think dealt with your favorite tropes in a really great way? Love ur blog and your fics!!

Okay I have been sitting on this ask trying to come up with some kind of definitive list of favorite books I recommend and I had to admit to myself that whatever I can think up I’m going to forget some good stuff. But something’s better than nothing, probably! Going behind the cut because it got long, FUCK, I told myself it wasn’t going to get long:

I love Diana Wynne Jones so much, really all her books are good but particular favorites are Deep Secret, Dark Lord of Derkholm, and The Lives of Christopher Chant (although you should read Charmed Life first to just. really appreciate what a fucking diva Christopher is.) She does the most incredible job in all of her books of just raising complication after complication until it all comes together and everything’s happening at once and then it just. Resolves in incredible ways. Beautifully crafted plots, is what I’m saying. And I’m always in awe of how she has people in her books who are just…petty, or selfish, or close-minded, or weak; there’s something very real about a world that has Mrs. Sharp in it, even if there’s also a cat that used to be a violin.

I currently have three Nero Wolfe books on my bedside table and I’m pretty sure I’ve read each of them at least twice before; I just pick one up anytime I find one in a used bookstore, to slowly build out my collection. I love the mysteries, I love what a smartass Archie Goodwin is, I love Wolfe as the single most stubborn human being to ever live, I am really weirdly oddly soothed every time I pick up one of those books and fall into the rhythm of life in the brownstone on West 35th St. My life and home are a mess, but from nine to eleven every morning Wolfe is up with his orchids.

I am trying describe why and how I love The Last Unicorn and literally the words that popped into my head are it makes me quiet. It is just a book of incredible beauty and emotion, in a world that is every-fantasy-world except it actually feels lived in. Even the funny bits, or the weird shit, or Schmendrick as the closest you get to a comic relief, even those bits once you spend one more second with them you just sink so deep into them. That’s the kind of book I reread and then I need to stare out a window for a while and just not…do anything.

I am amazed and awed at the world that is created in Tana French’s Dublin Murder Squad, which is partly down to (I am sure) tons of research, smart observation, social awareness, it’s also partly down to that strange is-it-isn’t-it-magical-realism that’s going on. Mostly it’s just…the tone in these books is incredible, like the filter that’s on the lens of her story telling camera does such interesting things with light that I almost don’t care what she’s taking a picture of (to really really torture a metaphor), except that I do care because her characters are so real.

I cannot in good conscience recommend this series without giving, just, all of the content warnings, if you have any kind of trigger, just, do some research. I wasn’t even expecting it but Broken Harbor fucked me up bad, I barely slept for two nights in a row.

When Dublin Murder Squad, or literally anything else in life, bums me the fuck out, I pick up Jeeves. Literally the first I ever read P.G. Wodehouse was in high school when I was having a rotten day and my dad came in and gave me his compilation of Jeeves short stories and told me to read it. I got about four pages into the first story before I was smiling and laughing which I hadn’t even thought was possible five minutes prior. Wodehouse is another author who does a great job of bringing the different threads of a story together at the end in a really satisfying way. Besides just being hilarious. I think half the words my father and I say to each other are just quoting Jeeves back and forth.

There is a very specific kind of angry I get when I see someone doing something creative that I wish I had done, dammit, it’s so GOOD, and I think the very first time I ever felt that way was reading The Princess Bride when I was ten years old. I never really got into the movie the way most of my peers seem to have, don’t get me wrong, it’s fine, but if you haven’t read the book, it’s genius. FUCK! I’m still mad I didn’t write it.

I cannot imagine that anyone on this website needs to have Good Omens recommended to them at this point, I just also can’t imagine listing my favorite books and not including it. The first hundred pages might be the hardest that I have ever laughed at anything. Including the fact that I was reading it under my desk in class and I was trying so hard not to laugh and give away that I was reading that I ended up literally crying, tears pouring down my face, and my friend took the book away from me for my own good.

I similarly can’t think of Good Omens without skipping over to think of Discworld. More and more I think Night Watch is my favorite of the series. Many of them are brilliant, most of them are funny, I think all of them if you look for it have some anger deep within them. But Night Watch…I think when I first read it I liked the identity issues at stake; it’s very scifi, with the time travel and the man at risk of changing his own personal history. But more and more I am haunted by the sense of frustration and loss and not even persevering but simply surviving through madness and chaos and cruelty, Sam Vimes doing work he was never supposed to have done, except that someone had to do it, living through something again after he’d already gone through it once, something that even the first time it happened had just been the same old shit all over again…it speaks to me a lot, these days.

#oops I meant to talk about tropes more #my bad #books recs #Anonymous

14 notes · View notes

dat-fandom-losertown · 5 years

Text

Cat Out of the Bag

•◊•◊•◊•◊•

Chapter 1: Prologue & The Encounter

•◊•◊•◊•◊•

Neko!Hank Anderson x Artist/Author!Connor

Genre: Angst, Fluff

Warnings: Swearing (assume this’ll be in all future chapters as well lol), A tad of Violence, Panic attack similar to my own, Blood/Injury Mention

Word Count: 9,453 (I have no clue how to write short chapters/fics lol)

•◊•◊•◊•◊•

Synopsis:

“I ain’t some starvin’, twink cat that you can just bring home and teach how to trust and love or whatever the fuck else books try to say. Hell, I’m not even a Persian or Maine Coon cat with those bushy, pale tails like people always love to give us bears. I’m just an old, fat calico.”

“I personally don’t agree with the stereotypes as well. But as I offered before, you’re always welcome to leave. The front door is right there, I’m not keeping you trapped here... If you wanted to stay, though, I can make you breakfast? You can watch me make your breakfast, or you can make it yourself if you want.”

•◊•◊•◊•◊•

~> Next

•◊•◊•◊•◊•

Growing up, Connor was always stuck in the worlds he fabricated in his mind, and he wasn’t ashamed of it like his family tried to tell him to be. Even when he would introduce himself to people since middle school, he would always say his name then state that he had an uncontrollably active imagination, and if they ever are speaking to him and he doesn’t appear to be actively listening that they should try to not be offended. He just simply found inspiration and was committing whatever it was to memory to come back to later, or has laid out a simple plot to follow along later. He really meant no harm or disrespect to them.

Let’s just say that, among the school’s nerds, jocks, or other cliques, “Crazy Connor” did not fit into any social group, and regularly gained more bullies than friends. He never minded too much, though. He always lived vicariously through his character’s lives which he created, and they always had plenty of friends and allies they could turn to when in trouble. That’s all he needed, or at least, that’s what he always convinced himself so he wouldn’t become swallowed by loneliness.

By his first year in high school, he wrote an entire book, and by the end of his first year, he wrote another, longer one. For his second year in high school, he was “gently persuaded” into taking an art class for whatever reason the school offered (he wasn’t listening on purpose that time), and he discovered he had a natural gift in the subject. With the encouragement of his art teacher and his one and only friend, Markus, he started posting his artworks on a blog he created just for this purpose, that way he didn’t flood his normal social medias with the unusual content. Soon after, he bought himself the equipment to start doing digital art and quickly switched to that for any piece that wasn’t a graded assignment.

By the end of Connor’s second year, an online social media influencer found the one fanart of them he made– and his blog and all of his other works by extension– by pure chance. After some talking and interactions, they asked if they could commission him to do a small line of t-shirt merch designs. Of course, Connor said yes. They loved it, and so did the customers and fans who looked at and bought the t-shirts. He still knows to this day that he is more than extremely lucky to have had this chance.

After designing the merch, his art blog started gaining more attention, and by christmas break of his third year in high school, he was making more money each month than any student he knew with a job. He got donations from very generous people just for sharing his art and little comic scenes, and he regularly got commissions from people, and was even asked to create pin and more t-shirt designs for that same online influencer. Connor never gave up writing, however, he simply never posted it anywhere public. Although, as soon as he turned 18 early in his Senior year, he immediately self-published the first book he wrote after doing some heavy editing (it was an actual cringefest trying to read through it), and made it well known on his blog that more were coming in the somewhat-near future.

It didn’t do too well, to say the least. A world where nekojins and inujins don’t exist, especially for the sake of not making certain things in the plot happen conveniently and provide crude or perverted humor? It doesn’t fly for most people. He didn’t give up, though, of course not. He expected this book to not do well at all, so he wasn’t put off in the slightest. He self-published his next book during his final new year’s break of high school, which ended up doing much better than his first, considering it was a fantasy adventure genre and had a nekojin as one of the main characters. Looking back on it now, this is probably where his career in writing first started.

Up until this point, Connor was convinced he’d be stuck at a nine-to-five office job for his entire life, since he couldn’t see himself doing what he loved due to the lack of publisher and author connections and, as much as he loves art, that’s not where his true passion lies. He knew that he’d eventually get burnt out if it were his job and only source of income. Although, he also couldn’t imagine doing something he actively disliked because he would rather rip his hair out than be an accountant or anything of the sort like what his family wanted. However, this second book made him realise that it could be possible to do what he wanted full time.

As Connor very soon found out, nekojins and inujins weren’t popularly a main character in books or any media for that matter, and if they were, the book almost always had a forbidden love type of plot or the partial-human was a slave of some sort of one of the other main characters. The fact that Connor, a high schooler, wrote a book with a kick-ass nekojin who gives no fucks and takes no shits as a main character with a pure human lover/sidekick was decidedly open minded and extremely controversial.

At one point, an encounter with a reporter brought up the question of how he found the courage to make such a bold statement. Connor felt somewhat guilty when he admitted that this story idea had just been in his head for so long and it just had a bad-ass nekojin as the main character. He put no thought into what people would think about it or what kind of statement it could possibly give. It’s just what the story always was, so he made it how it is. Simple as that.

And apparently that was an open minded answer. The fact that he hadn’t even thought about what the public might think and didn’t care whatsoever that the main character was a nekojin proved that in his head was a world that easily existed where partial humans and pure humans lived in perfect equality. The writers of those articles weren’t exactly wrong, but Connor still didn’t like how every single one of his artworks and writing pieces were soon heavily criticized and people looked far more into them than even Connor himself thought was possible. It was almost intriguing how people could pull such in-depth ideas and conspiracies from works that were made simply because he thought “Oh, this kind of pose looks cool for this character” and “Wow, these colors look cool with it so we’ll smash them together like this” and “Ta Da! I did it! I made a thing! Look guys!”.

By the time he graduated, he was in the midst of self-publishing a third book that Connor carefully picked because the story line didn’t have anything blatantly controversial in it. His fourth or fifth ones didn’t have anything especially attention-grabbing in them either. Although, that’s just how he planned them in his head. Yes, he did have other titles deemed more risky and controversial, but he didn’t release them only because he didn’t want that kind of attention on him again yet. Eventually, all the controversy surrounding Connor had died down once people began realising that such a large statement from him was likely going to be a one time deal. All that was left behind from the ordeal was a sudden spike in interest and income from the people who found his work because of the fuss.

Yes, he hated that partial human slavery still existed, and no, he never planned on getting one of his own and helping the economy of those types of businesses, but he couldn’t gather the bravery needed to make any grand statements on his blog and march along with the groups of people trying to make things equal. He had morals and human decency, but they apparently didn’t run deep enough to make him less terrified of the mass of negative attention he once faced, so he supported the protesters in spirit for doing what he can’t with minor guilt.

He still feels that way even now at 32 years old. He’s lucky enough to no longer be a starving artist, and he moved out of Markus’ and Simon’s shared apartment to live on his own a couple years ago. He still mainly does digital pieces when creating art, but he took inspiration from Markus and his father and started using different types of traditional medias again. Although, somewhere down the line, art stopped being the larger source of his income, and started being extra cash he put into savings and funding for larger luxury items– such as trips across America for more experiences that he could use in his art and books.

He no longer has to self-publish anymore, yet he still occasionally does under an alias when his agent, a good friend of his by the name Luther, wants him to change too many aspects of a book to make it more commercialized. He has told Connor in the past that he comes up with other manuscripts to pitch quickly compared to the other writers he works with, so he doesn’t worry too often about Connor self-publishing something he didn’t accept. He understands that, to Connor, these aren’t just books, these are tiny pieces of himself in written form. Though, Luther always goes into detail about what parts he doesn’t like and why because there are times where Connor decides that the world in his head would be made better with the changes Luther wanted.

Connor is currently heading home after one of said moments. He just got done with a meeting to pitch his next potential book, and Luther had suggested that he change the time travel portion in it to make it a trilogy and expand on some character’s backstory and development. Connor, not understanding why he hadn’t written a series of any kind yet, since most of his books are rather long, quickly and happily agreed to go home and edit large chunks of it to make it work.

He wonders if he can somehow convince Luther or the publishing company to hold off on publishing the books until all three are completed. Connor hates waiting months for sequels and much prefers having all of the books in a series so he can binge them, and he knows that he’s far from the only one who feels this way. They probably won’t stall until all 3 books are fully completed, though. He’ll just have to somehow work quicker than usual without getting burnt out, or pitch a different book from his list of ideas to work on in the meantime.

Connor blinks out of his head to pause and take in the scenery around him. Connor’s lucky to live in a more suburban area. He’s always been an extremely light sleeper, so he could never get much rest when he lived in the city with his family. The nearest area like that is just far enough away that the only evidence of it being there are the skyscrapers in the distance and the fact there are precisely 14 stars on a clear night sky, and on the nights that aren’t clear, the clouds over the downtown area have an enchanting glow to them.

In the area Connor lives in now, most of the roads are all one lane per direction, with the exception of the main roads with the stores and sloppy grids of traffic lights. This is where Connor is right now, walking along the strangely empty sidewalk. He lives in one of the apartment buildings in the area, and the rumble of cars and occasional shrieks of emergency vehicles are enough to make him want to move back to Markus’ quieter area, despite there still being five more months left on his two-year lease. Looking off to the side where his apartment building should be, Connor decides that he should start hunting for other apartments if he really wants to move somewhere else.

Connor pulls out his phone to take a picture of the serene scene he’s just been greeted by. The setting sun casting the sky in a brilliantly beautiful gradient of rich orange and gold. He has to shove the small sense of guilt away for thinking something that air pollution has caused is gorgeous, because that’s exactly what it is. The small trees that are planted in the middle of the wide sidewalk on the other side of the road look like a black void is trying to rip and glitch its way into swallowing the sky whole, yet is always coming up short. The road he walks along is empty for now due to the traffic light glowing red behind him, which gives him a chance to get an unobscured picture.

This is the perfect scene to paint back at home. Maybe it’s just the thing to finally get him out of his art block.

Connor quickly snaps several pictures at varying levels of brightness and contrast before the light turns green. He quickly puts his phone away and continues on his way home. Honestly, Connor should have taken an Uber or something instead of walking, but he isn’t regretting it quite yet. He probably will in a few minutes, though, when the only light will be from the moon and the occasional street light. He supposes he can always call an Uber now, but he’s currently only a fifteen minute walk away from his apartment complex if he doesn’t take the shortcut through the trees, closer to ten minutes if he does.

Besides, the air is nice and cool for once, if not a bit on the humid side– but that’s just what happens when you live along the east coast, you get non-stop humid air. On top of the air being nice, Connor really needs to get more of it from outside, rather than the stale air inside. The last time he left his apartment (besides hopping into his car for grocery, work, or mail related journeys) was probably a little under a year ago, maybe a little over. Sure, once in a while he’ll open his windows, but that isn’t the same as being outside, feeling the sun on his skin and slight breeze in his hair.

Huh, that could make a cool land in his series. A place where no matter where a person stands within the small civilization, there is always wind to be felt. They could remain protected and unspotted with the use of a force field of sorts that spreads itself over the town. Maybe that could be because they are a true neutral civilization and don’t want any part in the war–

A thud of something hitting metal immediately followed by a quiet groan of pain interrupts Connor’s wandering train of thought. He probably wouldn’t have even heard it if he hadn’t retained his habit of somehow being alert to his surroundings while zoned out from back when he was in school. He doesn’t even know where the painful sounds came from, but that doesn’t matter because he wouldn’t just jump in to other people’s problems. What if there isn’t anything happening at all and that was just someone who tripped and fell?

So he checks the time (for evidence purposes, just in case) and keeps walking straight, hyper aware of every little movement and sound around him, yet never turning his head. That is, until he jumps at the abrupt sound of sharp laughter coming from behind the boutique that’s closed for the night.

“The fucker’s weak and already passing out! Who would’ve guessed! Ha!” a nasally voice taunts. Connor freezes against both his will and better judgement.

“Should we call some place to pick ‘im up? We could get some extra cash?” a woman asks.

“Hell no!” a masculine voice shouts, “Who the hell do you think would want an old, fat neko like him, anyway. We’d be doing everyone a favor by just killing it.”

That gets Connor moving silently into the narrow alley towards the voices. He may be socially awkward and loathe conflict, but he grew up training in different types of combat and self-defense. If someone’s life is in danger, he damn sure will fight, and as long as none of these people have a gun, he will win.

“Uh, I didn’t fuckin’ sign up for murder.” the nasally voice says uneasily, “I just wanted to go out and have a good time.”

“Ugh, it’s not like we’d get caught. And even if we did for some reason, we would get a slap on the wrist at most.”

“Are you actually that fuckin’ stupid, Damien?” the woman snaps. “If we kill him, that will be seen as worse than killing an animal. Even I’m not stupid enough to think that we’d get away with something that in a place out in the open like this. Someone’s gonna have to take out trash, and evidence of us being here is everywhere.”

Connor finally lets himself fall still, ceasing his silent shuffling towards the corner. He presses against the wall in hopes to lower the chances of being spotted, and promptly rests his back on something sticky. He jumps forward just slightly, but not enough to be seen.

“What was that?” the first guy asks.

But is apparently loud enough to be heard.

Connor braces himself for a fight, tensing up and getting into position–

“Dude, you’re being paranoid. Let’s just get the fuck out of here. I’m bored, anyway, and getting eaten alive by mosquitoes.” The supposed ringleader persuades, his boots thumping on the concrete as he walks away. Connor lets himself relax, thankful that nothing more is going to happen for now.

“Same. C’mon.” The woman starts following him if the sound of clacking heels is anything to go by.

There’s a relieved sigh, then one last set of footsteps walking away. Luckily, based off of the sounds of scuffling and skateboards from around the corner, there’s another way to get in and out of that place besides the one Connor is hiding in. He stays completely still and silent for several minutes after they’re gone, just to make sure they won’t come back. When he finally feels that it’s safe enough to look at the time on his phone, only twelve minutes have passed since he last checked it.

Taking a deep breath, he moves himself out of his hiding place. He spots the large nekojin laying against a dumpster in the alley and can immediately tell that the 911 emergency responders won’t do much, if anything, for him because there’s no collar around his neck and no obvious lethal wounds. The poor guy’s got blood in his hair, which is grey with age, and there’s a bit of blood on the ground and dumpster where he was presumably knocked down. His wrist is also zip tied to the back handle of the dumpster, so his arm is raised high above his head and Connor can see where the zip tie is digging into his skin. He watches as the man takes a small breath with a small sigh of relief.

That seems to make something in Connor click, because he’s suddenly dropping to his knees to check for any less obvious injuries. First thing’s first, Connor removes the zip tie from the man’s wrist by jamming his fingernail between the latch and tail slowly undoing the loop. He carefully puts the man’s arm down by his side. Connor only knows so much about first aid and injuries from past, admittedly extensive research for his books and comic scenes, but he does remember how to spot the signs of various broken bones. He also knows that won’t be enough to make sure he’s actually okay.

Therefore, he yanks his phone out of his pocket and texts his friend, Kara, who is some kind of doctor, hoping that she’ll be kind enough to come and look this guy over herself. It’s not like Connor wouldn’t pay her for her expertise, after all.

Connor Child Today at 19:28 (7:28)

Hey, are you busy right now?

Connor doesn’t even have time to repocket his phone before it vibrates in his hand. She mustn't be busy, if she responded so quickly.

Best Mom Friend Today at 19:28 (7:28)

i’m free. what’s up

Connor Child Today at 19:29 (7:29)

You know how you’re a doctor? Are you, like, a general doctor, or are you specialized in something? And is there a difference between pure and partial humans medically/biologically?

Best Mom Friend Today at 19:30 (7:30)

We’ll call it a general one. and no there aren’t major differences besides the tail and ears and heightened senses and all that jazz.

weren’t you just with luther? what happened?

Connor Child Today at 19:20 (7:30)

I was, but I found an injured Nekojin that was beat up by these three assholes while walking home. It doesn’t look life threatening, but I’m not a doctor and I also have no way of getting him to my place.

When Kara doesn’t respond immediately, Connor carefully lifts up the large man’s shirt, carefully avoiding touching his white, tan, and black blotched tail that’s draped protectively across his chest before he passed out. He notes that there’s a lot of bruising, which could mean a few things, some worse than others. He’s taking even breaths instead of short, sporadic ones, though, which could be a good sign. After checking a few other things tenderly and carefully, Connor decides that it’s probably okay to carefully lay the stranger down so he can check his back.

It’s immediately apparent that they jumped him from behind. The entire back of his shirt has blood all over it, and some blood on the wall and dumpster where he was leaned against them. After a solid twenty seconds of processing what he’s seeing and choosing what to do about this first, Connor finally forces himself to tenderly lift the back of his shirt up. He notices that none of the cuts should be deep enough to do any lasting damage beyond scars. He doesn’t even think blood loss should be a problem, since the blood wasn’t even visible for the most part until he was rolled over. That doesn’t account for any possible internal bleeding though, and for the fact that Connor still isn’t a doctor.

At that thought, Kara finally messages back with perfect timing.

Best Mom Friend Today at 19:34 (7:34)

first of all, where are you?

second of all, you shouldn’t bring strangers into your home.

third of all, you should take him to a hospital anyway.

Connor cringes at his phone at the last suggestion, then begins typing.

Connor Child Today at 19:35 (7:35)

We both know he won’t get proper care at a hospital, especially since he doesn’t appear to have a collar or a way of contacting someone who will pay off the debt for the stay. Also, I’ve already thought about every other option besides bringing him to a hospital and they all end with him getting abandoned and/or hurt again out here. I don’t wanna leave him like that.

It’s then that Connor realizes that he likely has most of the things needed to take care of these types of injuries at home in his jumbo first aid kit. Markus bought it for him on his birthday as a jab at how clumsy he is, but it’s come in handy multiple times since then and none of his friends let it die.

Connor Child Today at 19:36 (7:36)

Besides, I think I have everything needed to clean him up at my apartment, I’m just not sure about any internal injuries or how to move him.

Oh god damn it, apparently Connor’s going to be one of the dumbasses who brings injured strangers back home. He can’t just leave him out here and he can’t trust anyone else in this area– state, even– to not abuse this guy as soon as Connor is out of sight, though. He gently feels around the stranger’s head, carefully avoiding his tan and black ears, for any obvious injuries as he works things out in his head.

Maybe he can call Markus to come over to help keep watch just in case? No, he and Simon are out in New York on vacation until Monday, and today’s Thursday. He can’t ask Carl or Luther to come over, since Carl is old and wheelchair bound and, as well as Luther can act and despite his massive size, he does much worse with conflict than Connor does. He’d be on edge from being around a wild card for the night, then stressed for days after. Connor knows Kara would come help him out, but she doesn’t get enough sleep as it is, with the weird hospital hours and helping with taking care of Alice. She doesn’t need to be more involved in this than she already is, anyways.

This is either going to end surprisingly well or very badly, and Connor has a feeling of which it’s going to be. That is decidedly not a good sign, but Connor elects to ignore it anyway.

Connor finds a rather large knot on the right side of the man’s head where the majority of the blood in his hair is, which is probably the same injury that pretty much knocked him out in the first place. He doesn’t even know if there’s a way to check for concussions when the person is unconscious.

His phone finally pings an alert for a new message.

Best Mom Friend Today at 19:37 (7:37)

fine, you win. tell me where you are and i’ll bring you guys to your place. who’s staying with you, cause it isn’t going to be me or luther.

Connor Child Today at 19:37 (7:37)

Thank you so much!! I’m at the boutique near my apartment complex! And I have a friend that I’m going to message!

You’re the best!!

Connor rolls the stranger into what he hopes is a more comfortable position, then finds a place where he’ll be able to watch the parallel parking lanes in front of the boutique and the unconscious nekojin at the same time. His phone chimes again, and he doesn’t bother opening it for the simple three letter in the message notification.

Best Mom Friend Today at 19:41 (7:41)

Omw

With that taken care of, all there is left to do is wait for Kara. He moves and sits down in his spot, and just a bit over ten minutes later, she pulls up. Connor glances back at the old stranger, making sure he won’t die or something in his absence, then quickly steps out of the alley so Kara will see him. She does and parks her blue SUV in the spot closest to where Connor is waiting.

“Kara! You’re a lifesaver, really!” he calls after Kara steps out of her car.

“I know, I know,” She shuts the door behind her, “Where’s the guy?”

“He’s back here. I didn’t want to move him too much.”

She nods in approval and silently follows him to the old nekojin, then starts looking over his wounds. She decides that the cuts on his back aren’t as bad as they could be and the bleeding has already slowed down a bit. At her request, Connor retells everything he knows. After a few more minutes of checking, she states that the stranger no doubt has a concussion and will need plenty of rest and another check up once he’s awake. Thankfully, she doesn’t think his wrist is dislocated or fractured or anything, and his ribs seem fine. Together, they carefully lift the unconscious man into the back of the SUV, and Connor climbs in the back to sit with him.

They reach Connor’s apartment complex in just over two minutes (he swears he isn’t staring at the clock in the car), then fight to awkwardly lift the man out of the car and up the flight of stairs to Connor’s apartment. Once inside, they lay him on the bed in the guest room. Kara makes a comment about the sheets not making it through unscathed, but Connor disregards her with an obvious lie about needing new sheets anyway.

Kara then washes the man’s back and arms then carefully tends to his plentiful superficial wounds with Connor’s help, since there was apparently glass in some of his cuts. By the time they’re finished with that and the man has a light blanket draped over him, a couple of hours have gone by. Kara leaves once Connor promises (lies) that the person he texted about staying over will be on their way very soon and isn’t there now because they have a shift at the grocery store.

Now that Connor is completely alone and is starting to feel the nerves from having a large, presumably strong stranger unconscious in his home, he doesn’t quite know what to do. Normally when things get stressful or unusual, he’d write a short story depicting a character going through something that would make them just as uncomfortable and stressed as he is and post it on his Patreon, but he doesn’t want the click-clacking of his keyboard to mask any noises that the man might make.

After a bit of thinking and standing around, he decides to paint the sunset he took a picture of earlier.

He goes down the short hallway that connects his room, laundry room, and bathroom to the rest of the apartment. He opens the closet on the right side of the room and grabs a canvas and various paints and brushes. Going back out to the area of life, as Connor calls it (since the kitchen, dining room, and living room are all one large area, with the living room sectioned off by couches and the kitchen by a counter island and tiles on the ground), he sets up his stuff on his small, square table. He makes sure he’s facing the doors to his and the guest rooms with his back to the front door and the sliding door to his balcony/patio thing.

He pauses in his painting every 45 minutes to an hour so he can check on the nekojin. When the sun finally rises in the morning, Connor’s finished two sellable paintings and is starting a third. He has officially reached the level of exhaustion where he no longer feels tired as long as he ignores the pressure behind his eyes and the headache starting to form. Sometimes his insomnia-like-symptoms flare up until he gets to this point, so he isn’t worried.

After checking on the man yet again, Connor decides to fix a breakfast sandwich using his near-expired bacon and a tube of premade biscuits. He makes enough eggs and bacon for only one person, not knowing when the nekojin will wake up and if he even eats eggs or meat.

He’s in the middle of putting his food on a plate when there’s a slight and distant creak. If he were alone, Connor would have been able to convince himself that it was the building settling or something of the like, but he isn’t. He quickly turns around and is relieved to see nothing behind him. He hastily scoops the last bit of eggs onto his plate before cautiously walking through the living area towards the guest room. He pauses right at the door and listens for movement, just in case the man woke up and is trying to do something stupid and/or dangerous.

Connor may be trained in various types of combat and self defense, but he’s not stupid enough to think that makes him invincible. Especially against someone who is as large as that man was, and that’s excluding the chances that this stranger has training in some kind of combat as well.

After a couple of seconds of complete silence, Connor hesitantly opens the door just wide enough to slowly peek half of his head through. He immediately sees that the man is no longer in his bed. He’s barely able to open the door wider to step inside before a heavy weight barrels into him from the side. Next thing he knows, he’s pinned to the wall by a furious nekojin, with his ears pinned to his head and fangs sharp as needles. It’s already getting hard to breathe and Connor, as predicted, can’t move the arm that’s pushed against his throat. Trying to move his right arm and both legs is useless because the man also has them pinned enough to where he can’t make any effective attacks on him.

He must have some kind of training in combat as well, or has learned from personal experience. Connor is completely screwed if this man decides he is too much of a threat or isn’t worth his time.

“Cause any trouble and I make your life painful, ya hear?” the man snarls lowly, and if Connor wasn’t already used to being pinned against walls and threatened, he’d probably be panicking right now. Connor rapidly nods as calmly as he can (which isn’t nearly calm enough) while being in this situation. “Who the fuck are you?”

“Connor” he rasps painfully, “I’m– no harm. Please–”

The older man hisses, and it sounds nothing like when cats do it. When cats hiss, it almost sounds like an air leakage from a pipe; high pitched and more breathy than anything. This hiss, though, is not unlike what demons sound like in horror movies. It’s lower and almost growlish and absolutely terrifying enough to make up for the lack of a small, agile body.

It shuts Connor up to say the absolute least.

“Where the fuck did you bring me?”

“My–” Connor coughs and gasps painfully, “apartment.” That must have been the wrong answer because the pressure on his throat increases. Since moving the arm is impossible, he starts patting it to try to signal the stranger that he really needs air.

“I can fuckin’ see that, dumbass. I meant where the fuck is this place?”

“Not– far, fr-from… alley…” Huh, so the darkness not only invades from the sides of your vision, but the focus of it also dims too. And nobody ever mentioned in the books he read about how much pressure is building in his head right now, like it’s going to explode soon. Aw great, now he’s starting to mildly dissociate. Just what he needs.

The nekojin is trying to say something to him, but the only things he can make out clearly from the sudden white noise are “you”, “better”, and “punk”. Connor doesn’t want to agree to something preposterous, but he also doesn’t want to try to ask for clarification or anything like that and make the man angrier. He suddenly has a fleeting thought of dying here, and his mind just as suddenly latches onto it and won’t let go. God he’s so fucking stupid. He knew this was a horrible idea, and he still fucking did it. Why doesn’t he ever listen to anyone?

Just as Connor tries to reach his left arm up to damage the man’s face somehow and force him to let go, he’s abruptly released.

Connor barely avoids dropping to the ground and instead leans against the wall because his legs want to function more like jelly than anything remotely solid. He coughs and gasps but locks his knees so he’s less likely to fall over into a more defenseless position. He distantly recognizes that the nekojin is trying to talk to him again, but he’s too preoccupied with getting air into his lungs and not falling over to even try to decipher it. Thankfully, whatever he said apparently wasn’t super important because nothing happens when Connor doesn’t give any kind of response, and nothing continues to happen until he’s breathing normally and standing up on his own again.

“You said I wasn’t far from the alley,” the nekojin spits out, “How close is it?”

Connor blinks the tears from his eyes. “Five minute walk, maybe.” he answers quietly, throat hurting.

“Where are your roommates?”

“Don’t have any.”

“You live completely alone?” he asks, an eyebrow raised in suspicion.

Connor silently nods.

“Why’d you bring me here? Think you could tame some fuckin’ stray to be your personal pet? ‘Cause you’re very wrong.” he ends in a growl. It sends shivers up Connor’s spine and he can feel the sweat on him beading and rolling down. If this comes to blows again, there’s no way Connor will be able to win, especially not like this.

“No. You’re hurt.” he says more sure, finally lifting his head to meet the other’s eyes.

“You honestly expect me to believe that you brought an old, stray nekojin home just because he was a little hurt?”

Connor nods. “Didn’t know if you were bleeding out or not–”

He shuts his mouth with a click and braces himself for another attack when he sees the stranger move. It’s barely a shift to the side, but it’s enough to send Connor back into highest alert. The guy must realise this because he shifts backward a step.

“What do you get outta patchin’ me up?”

“...technically nothing?”

“No one does anything without any reward, so fuckin’ spill it.” he spits.

“A clear conscious, maybe?” There’s no bite in his words, only the underlying fear of giving the wrong answer. When the older man doesn’t immediately shoot another question, Connor continues. “Look, I just don’t like it when people’re in pain. I wanted to help, so I did.”

“People.” When Connor stares blankly in return, he continues. “I’m not people. Won’t ever be, thanks to the ears and tail.”

“You should be people.” he breathes. “A lot of others agree with me, nowadays.”

“Ah, so you’re one of those activists? You realise you guys are going to get killed before anything substantial changes right?”

“I’m– uh, I’m not really an activist? I don’t like all the attention.” Connor forces himself to loosen up a little, more to prove that he isn’t a danger to the wild card in front of him and less because he actually wants to. “It makes me nervous.”

“Yet you supposedly bring home a dangerous stranger from the streets into your own home just for the sake of patching up a few scratches.”

Connor stands at full height once more, his voice sharp, “You also have severe bruising and a concussion. And the hospital wouldn’t have done much for you because it wasn’t immediately life threatening and you don’t have a collar.”

“If it wasn’t fucking life threatening then you should have left me out there! To hell with your hero dilemma or whatever the fuck you have!” the man snaps, waving his arms in wide, angry gestures, “How the hell did you even know where to find me, if you really aren’t with the fuckers who did this to me?”

“I was walking home from work and heard someone get hit, then voices threatening murder. I just stayed until they left in case I needed to jump in and stop them.” Connor says gravely.

The man sighs. Connor can feel his exhaustion from that one breath alone, but holds his ground. He doesn’t know what is genuine and what is an act to get him to lower his defenses. He’s suddenly aware that he’s shaking.

“And how the fuck did you get me here?” His tone is slightly less angry.

“Called a friend with a car. She’s the one who patched you up ‘cause she’s a doctor.” Connor tries to slow his trembling, and, to his surprise, it’s kind of working.

The older man eyes him, “And why the fuck did she help?”

“She thought someone else was staying with me last night so I wasn’t alone with you.” Connor blurts before reassuring, “No one else is here, but she doesn’t know that. She has her own things to worry about. I don’t want her involved.” With that, he stops his breathing exercises, confident he won’t start panting or hyperventilating.

“And you don’t have one?” he can almost hear the raised eyebrow accompanying the nekojin’s question.

“Not really.” He doesn’t really want to talk about this, especially not to someone he doesn’t know.

“Nothin’ to lose by taking in a stranger, huh? Self destructive much?”

“Not– not exactly.”

There’s a few moments of tense silence. Connor still refuses to move a single muscle from earlier and it’s starting to get strenuous now, but he won’t lower his guard until he knows this nekojin isn’t a threat anymore.

“...You’re not gonna try to name me or some shit?” the partial-human asks warily and, if Connor isn’t wrong, with a hint of timidity.

That… was not at all what Connor was expecting out of the gruff man after what has been going down. He didn’t even know that people did that to partial humans. It sadly makes sense, though, considering history. Animals have always been renamed with little issue, and back in the day, people used to do just the same to partial humans too. Connor thought that kind of thing died decades ago, though.

“No? I didn’t even fully realize that was a thing people still did…”

“And none of these drawers have clothes of my size in them?”

“I– No! Check if you want but–”

Connor falls silent when the other man suddenly turns to the single dresser in the room and opens the first drawer. Every drawer after that was opened and reshut with great haste. Finding it all empty, he moves on to the closet and goes through the small shelving unit in there. He once again finds nothing, and shuts the closet with an obvious breath of relief. He sharply turns back to Connor. The man must see something in Connor because he sighs and shuffles towards where he’s still sitting against the wall.

“You really don’t want any ownership over me?” The man sounds less angry and more skeptical.

“If you don’t believe me, then you can always leave. I don’t want to trap you. But you’re still hurt.” Only silence follows, so Connor tries again to make this man trust that he won’t slap a collar on him. “I’ve never been interested in getting a nekojin. I hate what you guys have to endure, and I’ve always pretty much seen everyone as equals. It actually got me a bit of unwanted attention when I was younger.” He adds after a split second of hesitation.

The stranger huffs in what seems like a mocking manner. Connor can understand why.

“You sure you’re not an activist? Going out and parading and getting arrested by plan?”

Connor fights the urge to squirm in shame and apprehension and shakes his head. “I’ve always been too shy for anything like that, and I don’t like a lot of attention focused on me. It’s stressful.”

The man takes two steps closer to Connor, who instinctively tenses, not realizing that he ever relaxed just the slightest bit in the first place. The other pauses, then shuffles back half a step, putting his hands in his pockets in a way that makes it obvious that he’s forcing himself to do so, rather than keep them ready for a fight and out in the open.

“How do I know you aren’t with those three brats and are gonna try your shot at taming my fugly mug into something sellable? Hm? How do I know that no one’s waiting to catch me if I try to leave like you offered?”

Connor speaks without thinking. “You’re not fugly, just in need of a shower and new clothes.” Connor hates the tense silence that immediately follows, so Connor quickly moves on and fills it, “And, I– uh– I guess you don’t? I mean, I don’t know how to prove it? That I don’t think it’s a good idea to ‘tame’ anyone? I mean, don’t you need those life skills? To like, survive and stuff in our current society?”

The nekojin only gapes at him as if he’s said something completely absurd, and knowing himself, he probably did without realizing it. When it becomes obvious that Connor isn’t going to continue, the stranger shakes his head incredulously.

“Do you know how many people would call a nekojin’s feral state ‘life skills’? Even the damn activists have their own ideas about how our sanity should be managed. Are you fucking insane?”

Connor winces at his tone. “Uh… I mean, you don’t seem feral to me, as such… But I know I’m socially awkward and I’ve been told I’m dense–”

“I can’t tell if you’re shitting me or if you’re really trying hard to get me to not fucking hate you.” He suddenly sniffs the air and his expression becomes darker. “Something is burning. What the hell are you cooking?”

Burning? Connor thinks, sniffing the air. He can’t really smell anything. A partial-human’s sense of must be substantially stronger than a pure human’s; a single truth within the many lies of the internet.

“I was making a breakfast sandwich before you woke up… It might be the biscuits that you smell burning?”

He should really go pull them out of the oven, but he’s still afraid that this guy will pounce on him again if he tries to make an unannounced move for the door, and he doesn’t want a repeat of that whatsoever. On another note, there is absolutely no way he’s going to have his back turned to an aggressive stranger for any amount of time, especially because this one has claws and fangs.

“Fine, I smell the eggs and bacon too, but I’m gonna go sit out where you’ll be cooking so I know where you are and what you’re doing.” He straightens up and crosses his arms defiantly. The post is practically begging Connor to refuse the guy so he can do something about it. Too bad Connor doesn’t want to.

“That’s fine,” Connor pauses, then tries something bold at the last moment, “As long as you tell me what to call you.” The other startles at that, “I’m tired of calling you ‘stranger’ and ‘nekojin’ in my head.” Connor relaxes his pose just enough to seem like he isn’t ready to spring into any kind of action still, even though he definitely still is. “I’m Connor.”

He scrutinizes the younger man, then sighs and untenses just a tad. “Fine. Lead the way, then. I’m Hank, and that’s all you’re gonna get outta me.”

“I didn’t expect anything else.” He attempts a smile that he suspects looks more like a grimace.

Now that Connor is somewhat confident that the stranger– Hank isn’t going to pounce on him the moment his back is turned, he’s able to exit the door and walk to the kitchen area without looking alarmingly tense and uncomfortable. Connor hears a door close as he finds and pulls on a pair of oven mitts. Connor still keeps a mental map of where Hank is by the sound of his footsteps as he grabs the pan of moderately burned biscuits out of the oven.

He sets the pan on the counter so the cooked-to-dark-brown biscuits can cool so the trash bag doesn’t melt when he throws them away. Then he swiftly pulls out a stool from the kitchen island and takes the smoke alarm off of the ceiling, then deactivating it right as it begins beeping with the timing and grace of only someone who has done this a million other times can achieve. He gets down and puts the stool back. He moves back to the oven and turns it off all while avoiding having his back completely to Hank, who’s standing in his living room.

There’s complete silence in the room that makes Connor’s nerves bristle. Connor glances over to the knife block next to the fridge, knowing that he would never actually use them to harm anyone, but he likes to believe he could bluff his way out of a dire situation. Although, now that he’s thinking about it, maybe he couldn’t. Hank would probably be unfazed or get angrier after everything he’s experienced in his lifetime, and that’s if he somehow believes that Connor would actually use said knife after everything he’s said and done.

Connor jumps when Hank starts speaking.

“Everything good now? You’ve been standing there starin’ at nothin’ like a lunatic.”

Connor says nothing, choosing to just nod instead as he casually crosses his arms and leans against the counter next to the oven in a strained act of nonchalance.

Hank studies him carefully. “Why are you helping me, really?”

Connor can’t help but silently sigh. He may have already said this once or twice before, and he may not blame the guy in the slightest for not believing him, but still. It’s not like his answer is going to change from when he asked earlier. Although, that may be why he’s asking again, as some form of test or something.

“Like I said before, I don’t think I’ll get anything tangible out of this. If you really need something, then maybe self-satisfaction or a clean conscious for helping someone in need, but nothing tangible like money.” Hank shoots him a blank look that he hates. He sighs. “I just– My gut told me that you needed some real help, and I was going to give it whether you were a pure human or partial. It’s just that after finding out you had cat ears and a tail, I knew that no hospital in the area was going to give you proper care so 911 was essentially useless. I generally have good intuition when it comes to people, so I trusted it and brought you home instead of leaving you tied down in that nasty alley.” What Connor doesn’t mention aloud is how he’s been regretting not leaving him bandaged up in the cleaner part of that alley ever since he couldn’t see the other man in the guest room’s bed earlier.

His last statement catches Hank’s attention, who then turns his head to look away from Connor for the first time since being awake and looks out a window. He clears his throat, cutting off Connor’s growing panic. The guy’s head is down and his shoulders are slumped, but it’s still obvious that he’s still on edge and wary of his surroundings and Connor. When he speaks, it sounds like he has to force the sound from his lips.

“Look, Connor, I’m sorry for snapping at you, even if I don’t entirely regret protecting myself like that. But I still don’t trust or like you, got it?”

“Yeah. The sentiment is kind of the same right now, no offense.”

“None taken,” Hank pauses and straightens up, “Do you at least get where I’m coming from, though?” he takes a step forward. “Like, according to society, I am an untamed animal or slave, and I wake up in a strange room and am getting checked on every god damned minute by a complete stranger when the last thing I remember is getting kicked around and beat with broken bottles.” He shakes his head and looks away.

“I ain’t some starvin’, twink cat that you can just bring home and teach how to trust and love or whatever the fuck else books try to say. Hell, I’m not even a Persian or Maine Coon cat with those big bushy tails like people always love to give us larger people. I’m just an old, fat calico.”

Hank suddenly stiffens upon saying that last word, but Connor ignores it and lowers his head.

“I personally don’t agree with the stereotypes as well. But as I offered before,” Connor raises his head to meet Hank’s eyes again, “you’re always welcome to leave, The front door is right there. I’m not keeping you trapped here, and there’s not anyone after you or anything that I know of, so…” Connor shrugs.

For the first time this morning, Hank looks more uncomfortable than anything else, and Connor doesn’t really have the energy to unpack that. He starting to feel tired because of the lack of adrenaline in his system, so he’ll probably need some caffeinated tea soon. Maybe a new breakfast to go with it, too; his stomach is starting to hurt with hunger because he forgot dinner last night.

Still, Hank hasn’t responded, so Connor takes this opportunity to give him the explicit option to stay because he’s already given the nekojin multiple outs and, as stupid as Connor knows he can be, he doesn’t think Hank should be left on his own quite yet. Besides, he really doesn’t think that Hank will do any harm for no reason. His anger and violence earlier were understandable at the least, and neither of them seem to want a repeat of that any time soon. Connor doesn’t think he’s making the wrong decision by doing this since Hank’s already here in his apartment, anyway. Emphasis on think.

“If you wanted to stay, though, I can make you breakfast? Or you can watch me make your breakfast, or just make it yourself if you want. I mean, because I’m willing to bet that you haven’t had anything decent in a while, yeah?” He chuckles awkwardly. It almost works to make the atmosphere less heavy. Almost.

Hank stares him down, obviously still skeptical and wary of Connor. The creator tries to not do anything that could be taken as suspicious, but that in of itself could be suspicious in a way. A few more seconds pass like this in tense silence before Hank finally sighs and relaxes his shoulders the slightest bit.

“What the fucking hell is my life anymore.” He mumbles, then raises his voice to a normal speaking level “Alright. I’m gonna sit on that stool,” He points to one of the two the kitchen island, “And I’m gonna watch you so you don’t poison my food. And then you can hear me if I even so much as shuffle, so you’ll know I won’t attack you from behind.”

“Okay.” He watches as Hank moves with a slight limp in his left leg and sits with a poorly concealed wince. “Did you… did you want to maybe redress your wounds? I have over the counter pain meds if you want, but I doubt you’d trust that.”

“You’re right. I don’t trust that a single fucking bit. This ain’t nothin’ I haven’t gone through before, so you can quit your worryin’.” Hank hesitates, then continues, almost meeker. “And you don’t need to worry about allergies. I’ll eat anythin’.”

Connor simply nods in response, already getting used to Hank’s vulgarity and irritation. It’s probably not healthy why he’s already getting used to it, considering it’s mostly due to questionable parenting choices and plenty of childhood bullying, but no one really has the time or patience to unpack that right now (or ever, if Connor has any say in it). Therefore, he does what he does second best, and instead of slowly unpacking that box of troubles and sorting through it like any healthy person should, he simply tapes that box shut tightly with three layers of duct tape and shoves it to the back of his mental storage unit while he takes out his pan cleaner to wash off the remnants of his food before starting Hank’s.

As he gathers ingredients and tools to the island so Hank can see exactly what Connor is doing at all times, he never once looks up at Hank. The why from earlier tries to rear its ugly head again, but he shoves and forces it down again with practiced ease. Unlike what it has to say about the damnable why, his gut is telling him that Hank isn’t really a bad person, that he’s just been dealt a shit hand in his life. It’s right about people much more often than it’s not, and Connor can only hope that this isn’t one of those times where it’s not.

He finds himself almost wanting to like Hank, to show him that the world isn’t completely filled with stupid assholes, only mostly full.

•◊•◊•◊•◊•

~> Next

•◊•◊•◊•◊•

A/N: Hey guys!! I hope you didn’t mind the wait too much, but I ended up changing the plot to this story last minute and rewrote this chapter, like, 3 and a half times now? So, yeah, there’s that. This chapter was a bit angsty and I still kinda really hate it, but!! But!!! I am moving on because Protective Hank™ will be making an appearance next chapter!! The next chapter of The Drift Between Us may not come for a couple of weeks because I have to update the EXO x Reader I’m writing on a blog I share with my friend that I have been neglecting lately Lol. So, that’s pretty much it! Thank you for taking the time to read this, and I hope you have a pleasant day/night! 😊💕

#hankcon #hank x connor #hank anderson x connor #hankcon fanfiction #hankcon fanfic #hankcon au #hannor fanfic #hannor fanfiction #hannor au #hannor #neko hank anderson #dbh neko hank #cat out of the bag #chapter 1

13 notes · View notes

tessatechaitea · 5 years

Text

Black Condor #1

After this caption, I'm going to pretend that I didn't buy this comic book because this guy looks fucking hot.

If there was a Comics Code Authority symbol on the front, why then am I now sporting a boner?

After getting his powers of flight, Black Condor decides he's not going to use his amazing new power that is super unique and totally worth two hundred years of painstaking research and sacrifice for his grandfather or his grandfather's organization (called The Society, I think. Even though the building really just looked like S.T.A.R. Labs). Also, he's probably going to destroy them. The one thing I think I remember about this book is that Black Condor operates out of the New Jersey Pine Barrens. I don't remember if he battles the Jersey Devil though. He'd better! Glancing at the cover to Issue #2, I see he battles the Sky Pirate. Don't tell me you don't know who the Sky Pirate is! Because I was just going to ask you who he is and I don't want to be disappointed when you shrug and say, "Who the fuck knows?" Oh, I remembered another thing about this comic book as I was reading the part with the bad guys escaping into the Pine Barrens: Black Condor is a reluctant hero! That doesn't mean these bank robbers are going to get away with their crime. It just means Black Condor is going to punch them in the face while sighing and saying things like, "I didn't ask for this!" and "Stupid great power bringing stupid great responsibility!" Intermission time: here's a fun game from Wyler's, the company nobody remembers:

I could only find one thing wrong: the fact that this kid gives a shit about baseball.

A reluctant park ranger, bored out of his mind while lazily searching for some missing campers, hears about the bank robbers and thinks, "I'm having enough trouble today! I hope I don't get mixed up in this!" Which is completely the wrong thing to think when you're in a comic book. Idiot. He instantly gets mixed up in it.

Ugh. Empathic sense must be the worst super power for a reluctant hero.

Black Condor's empathic sense leads him to the two missing campers. They're a bickering couple that I'm sure he'd rather leave to die in the woods. But he's a hero, even if only reluctantly. So he has to help them find their way back to camp. And after doing so, that means in nine pages, Black Condor did more heroic and selfless things than the Teen Titans in one hundred and twenty issues! Maybe that's why I kept buying this series. I was super impressed by how good this guy was at his job. Black Condor stops by the Park Rangers Office to check on his friend Ned but discovers he hasn't checked in for a bit. That's because Ned was kidnapped by the bad guys because they needed his truck. The person who tells Black Condor that Ned hasn't checked in is Eileen, a woman who just ruined her underpants with her love honey. At least I'm assuming she did because look at that chest.

She's thinking of a way to accidentally suck his cock.

Look, if two people walking down the street can somehow accidentally get one person's chocolate bar in another weird idiot's open jar of peanut butter then I'm certain it's possible for a dick to accidentally get sucked in much the same way. Excuse me. I'm off to go jerk off to Reese's commercials on YouTube. BRB! Look at that picture of Eileen again. It might be another Wyler's advertisement: "Can you find the two hermit crabs hiding in Eileen's skull?" Ned's truck ran out of gas and now the bad guys are stuck in the Pine Barrens where they're terrified of being ass raped by the Jersey Devil. This comic book was written in 1992 so they didn't know it wasn't a great idea to mention rape in a comic book. Also, they didn't mention it but I'm writing about this comic as if it were 1992 so I don't know any better right now which is why I imagined they brought it up. Also if you check Wikipedia after I get around to editing it, you'll find that the Jersey Devil totally loves to rape the asses of hikers. Anyway, it was nice knowing you, people who followed me after Gail Simone reblogged my Scarab #7 review! I'm sorry I was problematic! I try so hard not to be and then WHAM, my stupid brain goes, "Hey! This is funny!" And then my brain also says, "That's not funny and even if it was, it's not funny enough to deal with the backlash, brain. Maybe say the Jersey Devil likes to give purple nurples!" But then my brain replies by saying, "Oh, go ahead! It's not like you're ever going to enter politics anyway! Besides, you once wrote that terrible story about A Dolphin's Tale 2 or 3 that's super gross!" Then my brain poked my brain with its brain finger and said, "It was not! You take that back! That was satire!" And then I lost my place and I forgot which brain was on which side so my brain just said, "Satire is dead, idiot. Even if smart people understand who you're really making fun of in the satirical piece, the stupid idiots you're making fun of will just think you're agreeing with them! It's just not fucking worth it, brain." Then my penis said, "Hey brain, have you watched a Reese's commercial while imagining the chocolate bar was a penis and the open jar of peanut butter was a butthole?" And then my brain was all, "What? That sounds awesome. I'll delete the stupid rape thing after we watch some commercials." Then I watched some commercials. So, now that I'm back from my nap, where was I?! I think I was going to do something? Oh, probably finish reading this comic book!

Oh look! They are worried about getting butt raped by the Jersey Devil! Grandmaster Comic Book Reader!

What's really weird is that nobody had even mentioned the Jersey Devil when I wrote that they were scared of it. I'm so good at reading comics! Man, I wish I was good at something that mattered! Like finger banging! The lead bad guy shoots one of the other bad guys because every story about bad guys is basically a Coen Brothers movie. Black Conder hears the gunshots and thinks, "Ned!" I wonder if Black Condor is in love with Ned? I was hoping he'd be in love with Eileen, especially after I mentioned her love honey. I sort of developed a crush on her after I imagined her soaking wet underpants. Is that weird or is that why so much fanfic exists on the Internet? Black Condor arrives to save Ned and the female hostage and the bad guys suddenly believe the Jersey Devil has arrived to do some untoward things to them! Really untoward even! Luckily it's just Black Condor, reluctant hero, and heroes don't do untoward things! Now that I've said untoward three times (four times!), I'm hoping I used it correctly. It doesn't even sound like a word anymore. Black Condor saves Ned and captures the bad guys by using his "blow up a gun with his mind" power. That's a great power if a little specific. Maybe he can do that with other things too! I don't know how that fits into the whole condor theme. Maybe I just don't know as much about condors as I thought I did. Or maybe I need to update the condor Wikipedia page: "Condors can blow up guns with their minds, if they've recently filled their belly with love honey." Black Condor #1 Rating: B. This was a really solid if a bit uninspiring start to this series. I guess I can see why I kept buying it. The guy has a great look, sleek and sexy. Plus he's heroic in the way the Teen Titans never were. And he's mysterious! The art was a bit weird at times but that weirdness also created some really striking panels. I might read it now and think it's uninspiring but putting it up against a lot of other comic books I've reviewed on this blog, it would probably be a solid A on story telling and character development alone. Plus, I mean, he stopped some baddies! I was like, "DC heroes are allowed to do that?! What a revelation!" Anyway, that's all. I'm going to go walk around Portland with an open jar of peanut butter now.

#Black Condor #DC #DC Comics #Brian Augustyn #Rags Morales

1 note · View note

garden-ghoul · 5 years

Link

come listen to me talk about wizard sexism, see wizard sexism neatly resolved, and continue to have wizard sexism in every other book about wizards pratchett writes after 1987! time: 17:28. transcript under the cut.

Hello and welcome to It’s Yelling All the Way Down, where ONCE AGAIN we’re talking about wizards. But at least we’ve got some witches to balance them out. Yes, this week I’ve rolled up Equal Rites.

I would like it to be clearly understood that this book is not wacky. Only dumb redheads in fifties' sitcoms are wacky.

No, it's not zany, either.

This is a story about magic and where it goes and perhaps more importantly where it comes from and why, although it doesn't pretend to answer all or any of these questions.

It may, however, help to explain why Gandalf never got married and why Merlin was a man. Because this is also a story about sex, although probably not in the athletic, tumbling, count-the-legs-and-divide-by-two sense unless the characters get totally beyond the author's control.

Yeah. You remember in the Sourcery notes I mentioned how Sir Terry likes to talk about “if a man was a witch he’d be a wizard”? This book is Completely About That. And he wasn’t really lying in the introduction, it’s very seldom even funny. Maybe he was just trying to get away from his first two books, The Colour of Magic and The Light Fantastic, which are zany to the point of irritation as I recall. Despite being pretty obnoxious, it’s a good introduction because it clearly states the purpose of the book: to be a response to pop culture concepts of wizards in the 1980s. He describes Discworld as a place “where things are less as they are and more as people imagine them to be,” which makes it the perfect vehicle for discussions of culture!

The book begins, again, with a wizard dying and passing on his staff. He’s come to Bad Ass to meet the newly born eighth son of an eighth son—a smith, as it happens. Granny Weatherwax is the midwife and she does keep trying to tell the smith and the wizard that the eighth son is a first daughter, but it’s too late! The baby has already held the staff. She’s a wizard now. Which I guess answers how Rincewind became a wizard—presumably he inherited it because no-one could have predicted his total lack of magical aptitude, although I don’t remember him having a staff or any kind of magical artifact. Is that why he’s such an awful wizard? Well, after the wizard dies Granny tells Smith to burn the staff, because she’s adamant that a woman shouldn’t be a wizard because “it’s the wrong kind of magic” and “she’d never grasp it.” Which is a bizarrely strong sexist opinion for her to have, but then, she is a traditionalist. She tries to destroy the staff but it’s not having that, and she gives up in a huff.

We skip some time. The little girl, Eskarina Smith, grows up with a love of the outdoors. She has the protection of her staff (which is so bound to her that she’s hurt when it is) and a mean apple tree (which turns out to be the wizard, reincarnated). She also seems to have an instinct for the rules of magic and the kind of laws it obeys. We start out with a really charming little kids’ adventure where Esk and two of her brothers go to Granny’s cottage to bring her some food and find her apparently dead on her bed. Esk has heard there will be demons trying to take the body and has barred all the doors and windows, but something is trying to get in the chimney, so she runs out the door and into the thick snowy night. She comes across a pack of very hungry wolves… which are summarily dispatched when her staff flies over and beats them all up. Granny gets back into her own body after a stint as a crow and takes her in to talk magic.

Esk’s instinct for magic manifests as a leaning toward fire spells, something any apprentice wizard can do but something a witch can’t, because a fire hasn’t got a mind. An interesting distinction early on: a witch manipulates minds, not physical properties of matter.

Borrowing was the sort of thing wizards could never know. If it occurred to them to enter a creature's mind they'd do it like a thief, not out of wickedness but because it simply wouldn't occur to them to do it any other way, the daft buggers. And what good would it do to take over an owl's body? You couldn't fly, you needed to spend a lifetime learning. But the gentle way was to ride in its mind, steering it as gently as a breeze stirs a leaf.

Granny figures if Esk learns witch magic it will overwrite the wizard magic or something, so she takes Esk as an apprentice. Witch’s magic is knowing things other people don’t know. It’s making yourself strange to other people. It’s watching closely for signs and pattern recognition. Granny tells Esk it relies on “headology:” if people think you’re doing magic, then you are. But also… you can directly manipulate minds. She teaches Esk Borrowing, but Esk has uh wizard thought patterns from the staff, I guess? And she wants to take over the eagle’s mind that they’re practicing on. Esk takes full control and jets off, leaving Granny to carry her body home.

The next day Granny has to get the staff to carry her to where the eagle is because Esk has completely lost herself in it and her mind needs to be, hm, manually extracted. She sleeps deep and in the morning Granny gives in and presents her with the staff. Esk turns out to have an instinct for FIREBALLS, which is the last straw: Granny decides she’s got to study at the university, otherwise she might burn down something important. Also, she turned her brother into a pig.

Granny is going to escort her to the University despite not knowing where it is. It’s actually kind of endearing how Granny has never been out of the mountains, doesn’t know anything, and is EXTREMELY suspicious of anyone from the city. (Here read: town of a couple hundred people or more.)

Esk does her best to get lost in the crowd and inadvertently curses a bunch of people; has a misadventure with an innkeeper who wants to use her staff to turn all his beer into brandy; and accidentally stows away on a merchant boat going down the river. We get a very cute little section detailing her powers, which partly consist of seeing things as they really are (a power I suspect wizards and witches share), and partly of rearranging the world to be more convenient (that one’s all wizard). But power, when you’re a small kid, doesn’t necessarily make people respect you. Most of the time it makes them want to take advantage of you, so she has to leave the boat merchants and fall in with a caravan.

In fact, she happens to fall in with a caravan that has a couple of wizards, who are for protection and/or starting fires in the wilderness. Esk spends some time talking to the teen apprentice wizard, Simon, who’s basically a cruel caricature of everything teens have anxiety about: acne, speech impediments, and being good at things right up until you try to show them to someone. She also talks to his master wizard, who is very wizard-stylish and explains VERY condescendingly why women are too stupid to be wizards. Esk runs off into the wilderness in tears and we get this fabulous bit of narration:

Why was it that, when she heard Granny ramble on about witchcraft she longed for the cutting magic of wizardry, but whenever she heard Treatle speak in his high-pitched voice she would fight to the death for witchcraft? She'd be both, or none at all. And the more they intended to stop her, the more she wanted it.

She'd be a witch and a wizard too. And she would show them.

I feel like Pratchett is at his best when he’s writing about kids crying in frustration about how tough it is to be a kid. And isn’t this a huge gender mood? This is kind of how I feel about gender, at least. Pratchett is very willing to write gender-nonconforming girls and I only wish he would do boys the same courtesy. But women wanting to be men is basically a fantasy staple because a man is Empirically the better thing to be, SO. Blech.

Esk goes to sleep in a bramble and has what looks to be the familiar Dungeon Dimension dream that apparently all wizards just have every night from opening their minds to the Things that lurk outside reality. Wow that sucks. Instead she has a dream that she’s trying to get into an enormous door by blasting at it with her staff, but it absorbs everything she throws at it and then sniggers at her. When she wakes up she is sure it’s a True Dream, as she tells Granny, who has caught up to her finally. (Spoilers: it absolutely is a true dream, but I’m not sure whether that’s a coincidence).

They make it to Ankh-Morpork and get lodgings in the most dangerous part of the city because who’s going to rob Granny Weatherwax? In fact she makes off pretty well because a city needs a witch even if they’ve never met one.

She was at first annoyed, and then embarrassed, and then flattered; her clients had money, which was useful, but they also paid in respect, and that was a rock-hard currency.

There’s a subplot where Granny starts putting on airs, which is as close as this book gets to comic relief, and it’s really cute.

Esk does manage to get into the University with Simon and his master, who apparently thinks it will be funny to bring a nine-year-old in to be laughed at by a bunch of grown men. Simon, who is applying for entry, demonstrates some kind of very difficult and impressive spell that not only invites in the Dungeon Dimensions but makes him pass out as well. Esk asks if she can be admitted too but when called upon to demonstrate any wizard magic she gets stage fright and everyone laughs at her. Poor mite. When Granny hears about her horrible failure she gets Esk in the back way: by ingratiating herself with the head housekeeper and getting Esk hired as a servant.

Esk has an easy time! She gets to sleep in until 5 AM and the staff does all the sweeping for her. She can listen in on lectures but they’re all nonsense, and she comes to the conclusion that if she wants to be a wizard she’s going to have to learn how to read. So she goes to the library and picks up the first book she sees, which is the Demonology Maleficorum of Henchanse the Unsatisfactory (not a good first book to pick). And she finds Simon, of course, a great reader. Simon is a bit of an odd one; sometimes when he’s just giving a talk the Dungeon Dimension starts to bleed into reality, and again in the library we get the impression that it just follows him around waiting for its opportunity to get in. The books start to become agitated. The floor starts to become sand. And Esk’s staff whacks Simon to make him stop being a conduit for extradimensional horrors. It seems to want to murder him, which on a utilitarian value-scale seems like a pretty good idea. Especially when we find out that Simon won’t wake for days afterward: like someone gone Borrowing, his mind is outside his head. He’s basically been taken prisoner. And in a delightful callback to Granny’s Borrowing at the very beginning, she warns Esk that something is probably going to try to get into his body and pretend to be him.

Granny goes into the Great Wizard Hall to yell at the wizards so they know what’s going on, but gets completely distracted having a duel with the Arch-chancellor. REALLY, Granny. So it’s up to Esk to save Simon and the universe. To my delight, when she encounters the locked door into Simon’s room, rather than trying to blast it open she solves the problem the witch’s way: she Borrows the University building and gently uncurls one finger.

She wakes in the Dungeon Dimension, watching a thing that looks like Simon shaking a little snow globe with her entire planet inside, trying to crack it open. She steals it and sets about kicking all the Things in the shins that are watching him, and to her surprise they fold like wet cardboard. At least until they figure out they can hurt Simon to make her do what they want.

Outside of Esk’s head, Granny and the Arch-chancellor have gone on a perilous journey in the storm to retrieve her staff, which she threw away after it sensibly tried to murder Simon. Granny puts it on her unconscious body, but she can’t use it, and somehow Granny deduces this is because she isn’t an official wizard yet. So she gets the Arch-chancellor to declare her one. Suddenly dream-Esk has her staff, and the Things are never so afraid as when she refuses to use it. They feed off magic, see, and if all the wizards stopped using it, why that’d be terrifying!

“I'd really like to work this out,” said Simon again, turning the staff over and over in his hands. “We could set up some experiments, you know, into deliberately not using magic. We could carefully not draw an octogram on the floor, and we could deliberately not call up all sorts of things, and—it makes me sweat just to think about it!”

The kids are all right! They come out just fine. Esk receives a wizard hat and for some baffling reason Simon has left his stutter in the dungeon dimensions, because no story can have a happy ending if someone still has a speech impediment at the end. Is Sir Terry implying that only insatiably curious magicians stutter? That the stutter represents unwise magic use? Does he think people only stutter out of a lack of confidence? Anyway, in the short epilogue Granny and the Arch-chancellor fix wizard sexism and Esk and Simon develop a whole new branch of magic that is incomprehensible but very nice. Sir Terry fails to mention this for the next thirty years. The end.

(I mean, maybe he mentioned it in Unseen Academicals or something and I forgot? And I’ve heard Esk is in the 5th Tiffany Aching book. But honestly this is such a bombshell to drop RIGHT at the beginning of your series and never follow up on. I’m disappointed in him! Because this is a really, really exciting paradigm shift to leave us with, and not getting to hear about it is like torture! I can’t wait to see Esk becoming a confident young woman who argues with everyone and has loads of cool friends! Say what you like about Sir Terry, say what you like about him being kind of sexist, but he really does understand that women are people, which is a low bar that fantasy OFTEN does not pass, still in 2019.)

Well, anyway. Time for themes.

First theme: Gender is fake and the only thing that really influences how people think is the people and/or wizard staffs that bring them up.

Second theme: Gender is extremely real and fucks people up constantly. Obviously magical philosophy is used as a standin for gender, here, which makes Esk bigender or possibly trigender. Simon can come too. I’m here to make everyone trans.

It also has slightly more helpful things to say about Being Different than our last book, Sourcery. Sourcery tells us that if we have needs and abilities that don’t fit in our best option is exile in the eternal loneliness dimension. Equal Rites tells us that if we have needs and abilities that don’t fit in we will be mercilessly mocked for it but there may be a way to carve out a space if we find other weirdos like ourselves!

Relatedly, being a kid or a teen basically sucks, because no-one will take you seriously, or if they do they’ll try to make you into whatever they want you to be. I think this book captures a little of the inherent messiness of growing up, and once again advises readers to try to find someone else who’s having a hard time to commiserate with.

So that’s this week’s thought: in what ways are you weird? In what places are you uncomfortable? How can you make these places more comfortable for yourself and other weird people? What unlikely alliances can you make?

Honestly this is my favorite bit of the podcast. All right, all right, we’re done here. Shabbat shalom and have a great week, everyone! Bye!

(non-transcript note: do you want to cohost an episode of yelling all the way down? talk to me! I’d love to do a book club thing! you WILL have to be patient with me while we figure out how to record a voice call, though.)

#it's yelling all the way down #discworld #audio

2 notes · View notes

writing-in-the-tiny-house · 3 years

Text

The Trophies of NaNoWriMo, with AJ Mac

Follow this link to check out the book The Gem State Siege:

https://amzn.to/3yDtVDn

Become a patron to Writing in the Tiny House today!

patreon.com/writinginthetinyhouse

The following is a transcript of this episode. The complete transcript is available on the show’s website.

[00:00:00] Devin Davis: Are you ever worried about writing a large amount of text in a short amount of time? Then you need to listen to AJ Mac, author of the book The Gem State Seige. He wrote the entire thing during NaNoWriMo of 2020, and he is our guest today on Writing in the Tiny House. Hello, hello, hello! And welcome to the show.

[00:00:47] Welcome back to the show. I am Devin Davis, your host, and I am the guy living in a tiny house to show you all of the different ways, regardless of how busy you are, that you can write that book. We focus mainly on fiction, at least the majority of these episodes. Today we have a person that I have been so excited to get to know. His name isAJ Mac.

[00:01:11] His first name is actually Aaron. And it's not in the interview. So I get to share a little tidbit before we play the interview. I actually met Aaron on a Facebook group looking for a critique partner. I had no idea what he had done. I had no idea his story or the process that he had taken to write this thing, but we exchanged first chapters many, many months ago and he critiqued my first chapter.

[00:01:40] I critiqued his first chapter. It was a great experience. And then like, a couple months later, I realized that his book was being released and was in print. So today we have AJ Mac, author of the book The Gem State Seige to share his entire story with us.

[00:02:02] AJ Mac: I started off writing a completely different novel that I said I was going to release first, but then I thought about the options of like Permafree books and like start in content. Cause I just wanted to kind of roll into something that was a little bit bigger of a project than the one that I released first. And it took me about 10 years to actually write that novel, like rewriting and constantly revising and all of that. The final draft of that book, it took me about nine months to do a hundred thousand words, I think. And I was just like, okay I need to write it a little bit faster if I have this goal of doing all of these books and all of this story, this this whole sci-fi universe that I've created in my head, I might want to write a little bit faster.

[00:02:52] So NaNoWriMo came along. I found it on Facebook, found a lot of groups on Facebook, talking about writing 50,000 words in a month. And I was like, Okay. That's a challenge. I'm going to take it. I don't know if I can do it, but I'm going to try.

[00:03:07] So October 31st. I was just like, kind of like at my computer at 1159, like a runner at a Olympic track meet. 12 o'clock hit and I just started going. It took me about 20 days, 21 days, I think to get the 50,000 words, but I did it and I proved to myself that I actually could write faster.

[00:03:29] Devin Davis: NaNoWriMo, though it calls itself a competition, is more like a big push to get people to start writing. No one is looking over your shoulder. You don't submit your progress to anyone, but it's just a month long marathon in the spirit of writing. And it is celebrated by everyone. When Aaron got in the thick of it, he had some big realizations about his own writing process.

[00:03:58] AJ Mac: I like being a pantser for the most part. Doing Prep-Tober is what they call it when you're preparing for NaNoWriMo I took some time out and wrote like a whole outline. I started setting up my writing space, and I bought Scrivener, and I wrote out and it took me about a day or so to write this entire like, outline of what I was going to do.

[00:04:21] And about Chapter Two, I was like screw outline. Yeah. I just yeah.

[00:04:26] Devin Davis: He wrote for hours every day. Like he said, it took him 21 days to get his first draft completed. Three weeks. And as you might imagine, it took a toll on his social life.

[00:04:41] AJ Mac: I don't think I talked to my girlfriend much during that time. I was working night shift at my full-time job. And what I would do is I would work 5:00 PM to about 4:00 AM, was my schedule. And I would spend as much time as I possibly could while I was working-- which wasn't much-- writing. And when I was at home I would wake up early. I still wake up earlier about 11 o'clock and I will write until I go to work. so I I was pretty much, at my computer the entire time.

[00:05:14] Devin Davis: Because he wasn't an experienced writer, at first he didn't know how to go about self edits and critique partners at all. This is how he handled it.

[00:05:25] AJ Mac: And I sat on the manuscript for about a month and a half maybe. And like, there were a lot of people saying that if you write something in NaNoWriMo, then it should at least be a year out before you actually start, like, thinking about publishing, but I was determined. I was determined to get some feedback on it. And I, I went to Facebook groups and like a bunch of critique groups. And I start querying for some people to give me some feedback on the book. And that was my start. And to editing that rough draft and submitting that rough draft and seeing if there was a actual concept for me to even publish a book.

[00:06:05] Devin Davis: And a few short months later, he had The Gem State Siege in print.

[00:06:13] AJ Mac: It's about Tawnie Simms, a world-renowned conspiracy theorist who finds herself in the middle of a cataclysmic event in her hometown, Idaho falls. When what seems like a natural disaster, a mysterious organization that uses the tragedy is fueled to start a mass extermination disguised as a pandemic. Tawnie has to find her way to stop the monstrous billionaire responsible while keeping her and her five-year-old son safe.

[00:06:41] Devin Davis: So this book required some research, not only about concepts, but about geography. The story takes place in Idaho falls and Aaron doesn't even live there.

[00:06:54] AJ Mac: The pantser in me decided to find it somewhere where geysers would make sense for for the relic that I used in the book. So Yellowstone National Park was, was nearby. I have a fascination with-- and this is going to sound horrible-- but I have a fascination with like end of the world kind of cataclysmic movies like that, like movies, like 2012 and Water Worlds, things like that. Just kind of like interests me. So the apocalyptic trope I feel like that's my thing. That's what interests me. It's a lot of build up to what I'm doing in the scifi universe that I'm creating and the world that I'm putting together. And that just happened to be one of the starting points of the world.

[00:07:36] Devin Davis: So I asked him what got him interested in books and science fiction in the first place.

[00:07:44] AJ Mac: A lot of fanfiction. I used to do a lot of sketches growing up and drawing my own comic books specifically when I was younger. It was a show called Dragon Ball Z that for whatever reason in America did not want to continue past a certain saga.

[00:08:00] So I started drawing my own and that trend never left. Like I fell in love with writing and coming up with my own ideas. And I felt comfortable. Like growing up as an introvert, I felt comfortable just writing my own reality as opposed to living in the real reality, I guess. And it just kind of worked for me.

[00:08:19] Devin Davis: All of us as writers, face roadblocks and other struggles. And sometimes we have self doubt.

[00:08:25] AJ Mac: I struggled with the belief that I could even write that fast, considering that I've just been sitting on a bunch of ideas for 10 years before I actually decided to publish a novel. For any aspiring author that wants to write, join a community like NaNoWriMo where people are having the same challenges.

[00:08:47] Devin Davis: Not only is Erin cranking out books, but he and his friends also do a podcast.

[00:08:54] AJ Mac: My podcast is called The Dirty Trunk podcast. And we like to say that that's where the elephant is always welcome. And we talk about the uncomfortable conversations about growth and building your mindset as an entrepreneur. They come out every Tuesday, and the last episode we discussed your environment and how it shapes your future as an adult.

[00:09:17] Devin Davis: By the time this episode airs, the Dirty Trunk podcast will have reached more than 100 episodes.

[00:09:26] AJ Mac: For anybody who's listening to this episode here, if you have the goal or the dream to be a published author, do it. You can listen to this podcast and everybody who joins Mr. Devin on this this journey being a guest on this awesome podcast that he has here in this platform, you can listen to every single one of them talk about their dreams, their goals of how to start and how they started, but it will not be possible for you unless you actually put pen to paper and do it. Do not let fear get in the way of your goals and your dream.

[00:10:01] Devin Davis: A special things to Aaron, author name AJ Mac, for joining me today on Writing in the Tiny House. He is working hard on the next several books of his series. And I am excited to see when those are going to come out. If you are interested in ordering or reading the Gem State Siege by AJ Mac, follow the link in the show notes and it'll get you there.

[00:10:26] And that is it for today. Thank you so much for my patrons. Without them this show can not be possible. If you wish to become a patron, patreon.com/writinginthetinyhouse. You can get early access to these episodes. You can get an additional episode, and you can get quality time with me over our exclusive chat rooms on Discord. Follow me on Instagram. My handle is @authordevindavis and on Twitter, my handle is @authordevind. Thank you so much for listening. We will see you next week and have fun writing.

Check out this episode!

#writing #writer #author #fiction #am writing #wip

0 notes

purrpetrator · 6 years

Text

character study » bruce wayne / batman

** This really is a very very very long post. But it’s thorough, going from 1940 to 2018...you can reblog or bookmark if this serves as any point of reference. I feel like I just wrote a whole dissertation on my OTP.

As unfortunate as it sounds, Catwoman would not exist without Batman. The story of the Bat & the Cat is a tale as old as time, starting with the very first issue of Batman back in 1940. Their relationship is characterized as volatile and passionate, full of thrill-seeking, competition, and regret. But with the culmination of a 78-year old relationship coming on July 4th, I thought it’d be a good time to talk about what role Bruce Wayne and Batman play for Selina Kyle and Catwoman. I’ll include some notes about my own interpretation and my own ideas, but this is all source material, 99% from the comics.

Back in Batman #1, we are introduced to three distinct villains: Hugo Strange, the Joker, and Catwoman. Catwoman is naturally nothing like the other two, posing a much less considerable threat to Batman than they do. He catches her on a boat (which begins Bruce’s adamant stance that they first met on a boat) disguised as an elderly woman trying to steal a $500,000 diamond necklace.

He should’ve been able to turn her in, but alas, in Batman fashion, he does not try very hard -- saying something about ‘lovely eyes’ before watching her speed away on a boat, totally smitten. Typical. So the Catwoman appeared in several comics during the 1940s, used to add a layer of sex appeal to the Batman comics.

Then some bullshit called the Comics Code Authority effectively banned Catwoman from the comics from 1954 to 1966, citing a violation of the rules of female characters, seduction, and illicit sex relations in comic books. I’m glad that thing is not in use anymore.

So during this time, how were the writers going to appeal to their female readers who “were only interested in romance”? They brought in Kate Kane, Batwoman 1 (but not his cousin but his aunt-by-marriage ?) and married her to Batman.

Needless to say this was a big flop. They ended up scrapping it and calling it one of “Dick’s Dreams”. The larger effect this had on Batman lore was that it ultimately poised Batman to be a solitary figure without room for a serious or committed relationship.

Surprisingly, though, Bruce Wayne does get involved, quite seriously, with Selina Kyle (knowing she is Catwoman, in an attempt to -- you guessed it -- rehabilitate her) to the point where she falls in love with him and decides to leave Batman. But, unsurprisingly, this relationship does not last very long.

The Silver and Bronze Age (c. 1956-1985) of DC Comics, like most other periods in DC Comics, was an unstable and ever-changing period with re-prioritizations and re-imaginings. This meant that, naturally, Bruce and Selina’s relationship would be difficult to pin down, therefore starting a legacy of the “on-again, off-again” dynamic.

Throughout this period, though she sometimes helped him, Selina continued to act like a criminal, and was portrayed as increasingly obsessed with the Bat and having the goal of marrying him. Batman, on the other hand, was preoccupied with “rehabilitating” her -- whatever that really means, you sly fox.

That last one was a dream, but what a guest list, amirite??

But the Bat, according to the writers, isn’t really the marrying type. Not on Prime Earth, anyway. So, to salvage their female readership, the Batman team introduces Earth-Two, where Bruce and Selina marry and have Helena. It can’t go without angst, though, and naturally Selina dies young at the hands of a blackmailer, causing their daughter to become the Huntress.

Now, here’s where the Crisis on Infinite Earths (1985) resets everything. This is going to happen more than once, so buckle up. So now we go to Frank Miller’s Batman: Year One, where Selina Kyle is introduced as a ?? dominatrix-esque prostitute ?? who just casually decided to put on the Catsuit. (As you might tell, I am not a fan.)

This is where Selina’s version of how they met, “on the street”, comes about. Bruce is disguised as Matches Malone, doing his thing in the East End, when he gets involved in a scuffle with Stan, the Pimp, and accidentally whacks Holly. Selina, watching from her apartment, jumps in. Literally. And the two get into a nice little fight.

It’s during this period where Selina is more involved with serving her own brand of justice, which I am a fan of. Now, from 1985 to 2002, nothing particularly notable happens for the Bat and the Cat. What I mean is, Selina skirts on the fence between crime and justice, Batman stops her, sometimes imprisons her, and tries to change her.

Some things to note, though, during this period, Batman’s genuine belief in how good a person Selina really is starts to really shine through. It’s around this time that Selina’s pre-Crisis infatuation for the Bat melts away to genuine love. A sort of friendship built around familiarity and understanding begins to blossom between them, too, so even when they were “off” they still cared for one another. And naturally, sexual tension was always there.

They do their game of cat-and-mouse for almost two decades before Hush comes around. And Hush changes everything! I could do a character study on the Hush arc alone, but i’ll try to truncate it as much as possible.

So we start out with he same old cat-and-mouse game, where Batman doesn’t turn Catwoman in, and Bruce dates Selina in real life because she’s one of the few people he actually cares for, both in and out of suit. His feelings for Selina become a liability as he’s constantly having to choose between saving her and staying with the mission. Selina, on the other hand, is not a fan of losing the bad guy.

And this is the first time we really have a post-Crisis Bat admitting his feelings for Selina, especially after Talia beat her to a pulp. (Mind you, these are two different scenes.) The biggest thing to happen in Hush, though, aside from Batman and Catwoman “finally” kissing--

which is that kiss ! (the very one that got made into a collector’s figurine, sigh)

where he realizes how truly lonely he is :’( and he can’t stop thinking about it for the rest of the mission :’)

-- is that Bruce reveals his identity to Selina, which was the ultimate testament of his trust for her. And this changes everything hereafter, because now Selina knows he’s Bruce Wayne.

Anyway, Selina isn’t about to just jump in and be Bruce’s love interest because everything with Bruce and Selina is complicated and never easy and they can never be happy apparently. So they fight at the end of Hush and Bruce, naturally, overanalyzes their relationship so, basically, they break up (until he’s ready). Nice.

But it’s not over yet! Tommy Elliot, aka Hush, realizes throughout this whole thing how truly important Selina is to Bruce. So, naturally, he targets her and steals her heart! Not in a fun, rom-com sort of way. He literally steals her beating heart to mess with Bruce. Talk about fucked up.

... quite literally. But, fortunately for us readers, it leads us to the biggest ?? confession of love from Batman. Y’all can cry with me as I did when I read this.

Bitch ! I cry every time. Ok, so moving on from Hush.

We already talked about Helena, but it should be worth noting that Bruce, though often busy, played as much an active role as he could in giving Selina help. And this, naturally, added another layer of trust and love in their relationship.

Alright, so for the next nine years, Bruce and Selina share plenty of sweet moments outside of the cowl, usually beneath the pretense that they aren’t their nocturnal personas and that they can be normal for once.

Selina’s always wanting to leave Gotham and leave behind her life as Catwoman, but Bruce is the one thing that really keeps her there so, naturally, she’s always trying to get him to leave it with her.

(But we all know that’s a pipe dream.)

And as an add-on to that same “let’s pretend we’re not Bat and Cat” trope, here’s one of the sweetest scenes in BatCat history, from Catwoman v3 #32:

And during their date, Selina tells him she doesn’t remember ever hearing him laugh like that. And he says:

That’s not to say their sweet moments are limited to being de-cowled. There are several times where Selina has pushed Bruce to try to be in touch with his human side, to be vulnerable, to feel. Because he’s the type to lock himself up in the Bat-Persona and forget who Bruce really is.

All is fine and dandy in the world of the Bat and the Cat, until the New 52 reboot comes about. Then, like most things in the New 52, it all went to shit. Batman and Catwoman’s relationship lost the element of trust that Hush had instilled with Bruce revealing his identity. Selina was depicted as more neurotic than she actually is and without the depth of emotion she felt for Batman/Bruce.

I still think it’s worth mentioning because ?? it changed so much for them in the most recent depictions. And y’all should be aware of everything, even the bad.

It was a hyper sexualized arc that I personally did not enjoy. I don’t think anyone really enjoyed anything from the New 52 but hey.

Like ?? Really? Anyway, this is why we don’t recognize that. Don’t even talk about it.

So. Moving on to Rebirth. I won’t go too in-depth here because it’s the most current thing and I’m sure most of y’all are aware of what’s happening, but I will include some key panels.

In short: Catwoman is accused of killing 237 terrorists who blow her old orphanage. Batman knows she’s innocent, but can’t prove it, so he takes her in. He then needs her help to beat Bane, and he also wants to work out her case to prove her innocence, so he breaks her out of death row and employs her help. She helps him, everything works out. Then, Gotham Girl (a new superhero) starts talking to him about what he wants/needs and he realizes how lonely he really is and what it is that he’s lacking.

Naturally, some several issues later, she says yes and the BatCat wedding is set to July 4th.

Another great thing that Tom King did was really encapsulate how well Selina understands Bruce. (Though I’m not a fan of the whole women-fighting-over-a-man thing, I think this was used to convey how Selina knows him best? But that’s just my interpretation.)

A whole bunch of stuff happens and will happen from now till then, but this is where we are now. My two babies, getting some sort of closure after almost 80 years. And I really do hope it works out, because their Earth-Two counterparts seem really happy:

(Though I still don’t know how they ended up in that position ^ )

And, of course, I couldn’t go without mentioning the Bat and the Cat in their final years.

In conclusion: Throughout the past eighty years, the reboots, and the relaunches, the one thing that has remained constant has been their interconnectedness. Whether on opposite sides of the law or on the same team -- the similarities of their desires and fears, their common pain and their inescapable trauma, kept them coming back to one another. Bruce likes to think that he and Selina are very different (and to some degree, they are) but they’re both “creatures of the night” who aren’t entirely on the legal side of things. They get one another. They need one another. Selina brings out a part of his humanity; she gives him love, life, and laughter. Bruce, in turn, puts faith in her character that Selina has never had for herself. He makes her believe that she’s more than where she came from and she’s more than what she’s done.

For Selina, Bruce will always be her one true love, whether she’s with him or not. For Bruce, I’d like to think, like Tommy said, that Selina was the only one to truly hold his heart (but I’m very biased hehe). In my eyes, they’ll always be friends, if not lovers, due to their shared history, their experiences, and all that they have sacrificed.

#this took me....so many...... hours #if only i put as much effort into my school work as i did with this LOL #tbh i feel like i didn't add enough nuance #but there's sO MUCH SOURCE MATERIAL #i picked the most important/salient panels #this is the longest thing i've ever written #and i didn't get to talk about injustice at all #smh #or the playboy and the socialite dynamic #damn #( from the first kiss to the last (xx. batcat) )#「 CH. STUDY 」she’s got nine lives (she’s gonna need all of them).

24 notes · View notes

aurorawest · 3 years

Note

⭐️Can you please also do a director's commentary for "Foundations" chapter 3? Thank you for your commentary on ch. 2, that was fantastic btw, :D I love that chapter!!

Yes! Thanks for asking! Link to AO3.

I used to write such short chapters, haha. This one is under 2500 words! I talked a bit when I did chapter 2 about why I wrote Foundations. Chapter 3 was actually the first chapter I wrote. It was The Scene (you know, the one you see in your head that’s the whole reason for writing the thing in the first place) for this fic, but when I write, I usually write The Scene first, haha.

Loki shifted in his camp bed, reaching up to pull the orb of light floating next to him closer before he turned the page of his book. Wind rattled the walls of the tent, but the storm outside wasn’t enough to drown out the rising and falling swells of sound from the impromptu feast that had sprung up several tent rows over.

I remember really struggling to get the atmosphere of the setting of this chapter...mainly because I didn’t really care that much, haha. I wanted to write a fraught conversation between Loki and Thor and what to you mean I need to describe where they are? Though I actually think it turned out well in the end.

He paused for a moment, listening, knowing the right thing to do—the expected thing to do—was to be there himself. Eating, drinking, bragging and inflating whatever deeds he’d accomplished in battle that day. And singing, apparently, if the sound he could hear was any indication—and if one was extremely generous with their definition of ‘singing.’

I don’t think I’d come up with my head canon yet that Loki hates to sing at this point.

They were on Alfheim, one of the Nine Realms, which was facing a minor insurrection; nothing that Asgard’s forces couldn’t put down in a week or two.

Sneak peek! Alfheim features prominently in the sequel to The Real Asgardians of the Galaxy.

They’d been there three days and the tide of the war was already turning in their favor. Still, it had been a shock when the Bifrost had brought them there. Years ago, Mother had taken Loki and Thor to visit, and Loki had found the planet breathtaking. Asgard was beautiful, of course, the pinnacle of the Nine Realms, but the lacy architecture of Ljosalfgard and the forests twinkling with lights was captivating. Thor had wanted to capture a unicorn and ride it;

I draw a lot of inspiration from the comics when I write about Alfheim, since we’ve only seen one very brief shot of it in the MCU. Ljosalfgard is the capital (Ljósálfar is Old Norse for Light Elves). Unicorns are native to Alfheim in the comics.

Mother had forbidden it, and added for good measure that if he was gored, he’d have to sit in bed for the duration of the trip and wouldn’t be allowed to have any fun.

The forests were nowhere to be seen now, though. Or the unicorns, for that matter, though during that long ago visit, neither Thor nor Loki had gotten anywhere near one, anyway. The rebel army was moving towards Ljosalfgard, burning everything as it went, and the tall, graceful trees that had fascinated Loki as a child were nothing but smoldering stumps now. Whole towns had been reduced to rubble, with the bodies of those who had been unable to flee lying amid the wreckage.

In the last such ruin they’d passed through, Loki had stopped to stare down into the face of a dead elf. Her legs were pinned under the collapsed wall of a building, crushed beyond repair, but what had killed her was the discharge weapon that had been fired into her stomach. Tarry blood, turning black as it dried, was spread around her. Not a quick death, or a painless one. He’d knelt down and closed her eyes, but he couldn’t do anything about the howl of pain that twisted the rest of her face.

I added this paragraph about the dead elf during editing, feeling that my description of war was too impersonal and sanitized. Since writing this, my body count in my fics has multiplied. Now I kind of look for excuses to describe corpses.

A crack of thunder brought him back to the present with a jolt. He realized he’d been staring at the same sentence on the page, reading it over and over again.

Mood, Loki.

With a yawn, he closed the book and set it aside on the small, ornate table he’d carted to Alfheim from Asgard.

My pocket dimension head canon wasn’t as well developed at this point. I was imagining the table physically being carried. I’ve actually always intended for this table to make an appearance in my fic again, like Loki chucked it in his pocket dimension and sort of forgot about it, but I try to limit the amount of Asgardian stuff he’s got in there for angst value, so I’ve never had it show up again.

The book was a treatise on astral projection, wherein the author theorized that with the proper source of power, the range of the projection could be amplified infinitely.

I still think this is clever, haha. This is a reference to Infinity Stones! Specifically the scene in Avengers where Loki astral projects and talks to the Other. I head canon that Loki really can’t astral project very far (maybe, maybe, a mile or two), but that the Mind Stone allowed him to do so in that scene.

Interesting, but not the lightest reading after a day of battle. He’d brought other books—and been roundly mocked for it

Whether Loki was being mocked or teased is open to interpretation. He can’t see it as anything other than mocking, though.

—but his focus was shot to hel. Whatever he picked up, he’d only end up sitting with it open on his lap while his mind wandered.

At that moment, the tent flap burst open, letting in a spray of wind and rain. “It’s pissing down out there,”

The fact that Loki and Thor both have English accents makes me desperately want to make them speak British English, but I don’t because they don’t in the movies. Sometimes, sometimes, I allow myself to throw something in.

Thor said, apparently to no one in particular, because when his eyes fell on Loki, he added, “Ah. I thought I’d find you hiding here.”

“I’m hardly hiding,” Loki said. “Anyway, I was tired.” He flicked his light orb higher and expanded it with a twist of his hand so that it illuminated more of the space.

This is the first time I wrote about this spell of Loki’s, which I now use alllll the time. It’s one of my go-to spells for him. If you’ve followed me for any length of time you’ve probably seen me talk about this fic I have where Strange goes into Loki’s mind (still unposted)—this spell is actually a major part of one section of that fic.

Thor looked at it, shook his head a little, and switched on the lights on his side of their shared tent. “What?” Loki asked, raising an eyebrow.

Generator? Asgardian tech? Who knows!

Glancing at him, Thor replied, “Tricks.”

Uh oh.

With a slight smile, Loki said, “Correct me if I’m wrong, brother, but one of my tricks prevented an axe from lodging in that thick skull of yours earlier.”

Thor snorted. “Not so tired that your wit’s dulled, I see.”

“Well, no. Never.”

Obviously, I try to capture the characters’ voices when I write, especially their dialogue, but I do it to the point where if there’s a kind of really distinctive delivery of a line, I’ll take that and turn it into almost like, a verbal tic? You know how you’ll catch yourself saying certain things a certain way, little phrases, that sort of thing? This is an intentional echo of Loki’s line in Avengers, where Thor says, “You think yourself above them,” and Loki responds, “Well yes.” I use this one all the time.

Removing the vambraces from his forearms,

The amount of time that I have spent looking up what different pieces of armor are called, UGH. And I never remember. When I edit, I always have to double check. The only one I know for sure now is demi-gaunts because I use it so often, haha. Those are the things Loki wears on his hands in Ragnarok.

Thor chuckled, then said, “You should have joined us. No party is complete without your troublemaking.”

Loki put a hand over his heart, a grin twitching at his mouth. “I’m touched. I had no idea I was so appreciated.”

“That,” Thor said, “and the fact that Fandral couldn’t stop bragging about how many more rebels he slew than the both of us combined. I could’ve used your help knocking him down a peg or two.”

I wanted to show a few things here. One: Loki is used to Thor being dismissive about his magic, and he doesn’t actually dwell on it too much in conversation. Two: Thor’s attitude about Loki’s magic isn’t actually awful. He could certainly be nicer about it and have more respect for something that Loki is really good at it, but this isn’t something that Thor feels really affects their relationship. He’s mildly contemptuous, and he forgets immediately. And three: Thor enjoys Loki’s mischievous side. The two of them still have a decent relationship, though the cracks are showing.

“Mm. Sorry to disappoint you,” Loki said.

Thor snorted. Removing his cape and slinging it over a chair back, he asked, “What are you reading, anyway?”

With a glance at the book, Loki said, “I don’t think it would interest you.”

“I don’t think so either.” Thor smirked at him. “I’m just trying to show some interest in the things my little brother’s interested in.”

Rolling his eyes good-naturedly, Loki said, “Ah, I see. Mockery, then patronization. What a day.”

Thor chuckled and came over to pick up the book. “Astral projection,” he said, then looked at Loki. “You already know how to do this.”

Really trying to hammer (haha, pun intended) home the point that Loki is an extremely unreliable narrator. Thor asks Loki what he’s reading, then shows that he knows what Loki can do. And then:

Loki raised an eyebrow. It was always a surprise when Thor demonstrated that he knew what Loki was capable of.

Yeah but, is it, Loki? Is it?

“You already know how to swing a sword, but you still train.”

“Hm.” Thor put the book down. “Once Father gives me Mjølnir, I won’t have to.”

Still pre-Mjølnir.

Right. Mjølnir. It had been heavily implied, when Father had sent them to quell the uprising on Alfheim, that the reward for success would be Mjølnir. For Thor, of course. For Loki, well, he supposed the reward was the satisfaction of a job well done. Once, when they’d been children, the two of them had snuck down to the weapons vault to see if they could lift the hammer. Thor hadn’t hesitated; he’d strutted up to it and yanked on its handle. It had come off its stone pedestal easily, and Thor had crowed and brandished it while Loki had stood there grinning.

Then, Thor had set it down and said, his face flushed with happiness, “You try it!”

Loki had reached for the handle. But he’d stopped, his arm outstretched, and closed his fingers around nothing but air before withdrawing his hand. What if he couldn’t? What if he wasn’t worthy?

To this day, this bit hurts me. I find it so relatable. If you try, you might fail, so maybe it’s better to not even try? At least you won’t feel like a worthless failure that way. And on a broader character note, this is Loki as a child already feeling that he isn’t living up to expectations.

So he shook his head and had said, “Father will be angry if he finds out we came down here.”

This was a thin excuse to put off learning something about himself that he didn’t want to learn, but even at a young age, Loki had been all-too-cognizant of his own failings. Thor had looked crestfallen, which almost made him feel guilty enough to try lifting Mjølnir, despite his misgivings.

HE’S NOT THOR. This is something that I definitely address in my fic series, this idea that he’s not Thor, so he’ll never be good enough. And yes...it is something that he gets over. He stops worrying about the fact that he can’t lift Mjølnir. He begins to see the value in his way of doing things, and not in a defensive way, but in a way he’s actually proud of. He realizes he doesn’t need to be Thor because he’s Loki.

But this is waaaaaay before that, haha.

Almost.

Rain beat on the tent, which luckily was imbued with enough Asgardian technology to keep all of it outside. Winter on Alfheim, at least in this hemisphere. If the blood didn’t turn the battlefields to mud, the rain would. Loki glanced up, his brow furrowed, as thunder rumbled and a gust of wind made the canvas billow like a sail. “The weather could be better.”

“If it doesn’t stop, it will just make the battle more glorious,” Thor said.

Smirking, Loki said, “I think I find dry clothing more glorious than battle.”

Thor shook his head at Loki, looking like someone had just told a wonderful joke, but only he was in on it. “You enjoy it, admit it. You can pretend you’re above it all you like, but I see it in your eyes.” He paused, clearly wanting his punchline, or thesis, or whatever this was, to really land. “That’s the rage of battle, brother.”

This was the first bit of dialogue I thought of for this fic. I remember it coming to me while I was sitting in bed one night.

Loki somehow hadn’t expected that. Taken aback and hoping it wasn’t showing, he said, “You’re mistaken.”

[...] Thor chuckled and laid down, his hands laced under his head, but Loki remained sitting, staring at the opposite wall of the tent and fidgeting with his hands. The rage of battle. Ridiculous. If there was one thing that Loki was good at, it was not letting his emotions get away from him.

OOF. If you thought to yourself while reading this, That doesn’t sound like the Loki I know, then you are correct! Frigga has that line in TDW where she says, “So perceptive about everyone but yourself,” and that line is one of my guiding stars for writing Loki. He’s very, very good at reading other people...but terrible at knowing his own mind. And then his read of what other people think of him gets filtered through his skewed perception of himself.

Anyway, I very much believe that Loki is horrible about keeping his emotions in check. He absolutely, when agitated, thinks entirely with his heart and not at all with his head. Here’s the thing...

He was as collected in battle as he was any other time.

He wants to be a Good Asgardian. So in his mind, it’s controlling your emotions in battle that’s important. Other times? Not so much. As long as he does it in battle, nothing else matters. And Loki is very good about keeping his head in battle. He’s an amazing warrior, just as good as any other Asgardian.

To lose your head was to invite costly mistakes. Absently, he ran his thumbnail over his other fingernails. He feared losing himself, anyway. Sometimes he thought it would be all too easy, when he wasn’t always sure who he was to begin with.

This is one of the core elements of Loki’s character to me. He doesn’t know who he is. He fears a loss of control. I absolutely keep these things in my head at all times when writing him. These things affect everything in his life and hold him back from things he wants. Love? That’s a loss of control.

“You’re quiet, brother,” Thor said.

Loki glanced over at him. “Just thinking.”

“You think too much.”

“Possibly.”

Another intentional movie dialogue echo. “Are you mad?” “Possibly.”

Propping himself up on his elbow and facing Loki, Thor said, “This is war, Loki. You get up, you slay the enemy, you drink, you feast, and then you go to bed so you can do it all over again the next day. There’s nothing to think about.”

Life was definitely simpler for Thor back in the day.

With a slight smile and a mirthless exhalation of laughter, Loki said, “I’m not like you, Thor.”

“Really? That’s so shocking, whatever could you be talking about?”

Loki gave his brother a sidelong look. Once in a while, Thor displayed a snideness that came directly from Mother. While Loki was truly their mother’s son, some of it was bound to rub off on Thor, too.

I’ve never liked the idea that Thor is stupid, and I do like those moments where he’s sarcastic and clever. “I thought you liked tricks,” from TDW comes to mind, and obviously a lot in Ragnarok. Loki has a tendency to think in binaries. Father=Thor, Mother=Loki (in the sense that they take after their parents, not like, Loki is maternal). He has trouble seeing that Thor also takes after their mother...and he has even more trouble seeing how much like Odin he himself is.

“I don’t mind battle,” he said. “I’m perfectly happy fighting to protect Asgard and the Nine Realms.

It’s really important to me to show that Loki isn’t squeamish about killing people, but also that he sees it as a duty.

But you know I’d rather be sitting by the water, reading a book.”

“The water” is what I’ve come to call the body of water that surrounds Asgard’s land mass. It’s not an ocean, it’s not a lake. Here, I’m literally just saying ‘sitting by the water’ the way you’d say that if you were like, sitting on a dock or on the beach or whatever, but since then it’s become my official name for it. I like the idea that Asgardians really do see themselves as superior, and this body of water sitting around their planet is The Water, like there’s no other water.

“Or causing mischief,” Thor said without missing a beat, which made Loki shrug in acknowledgment of this point. Thor stared at Loki for a minute, and then he said, “Perhaps you should…” But then he trailed off and shook his head. “Never mind.”

“Perhaps I should what?” Loki asked, a sharp edge to his tone that he knew would put Thor on the defensive.

A flicker of irritation crossed Thor’s face. “Perhaps you should take greater pains to be more like a warrior. We’re Asgardians, Loki. We don’t hide in bushes and cast spells. We face the enemy head on.”

Aaaand there it is. Thor definitely feels this way, but he’s also more of a dick than he has to be, because Loki purposefully needled him—and Thor’s quickness to anger is one of his flaws.

Loki’s eyes narrowed. “A dead rebel is a dead rebel. It doesn’t matter if I stood in front of him and ran him through with a sword or if I distracted him with an illusion while I threw a dagger through his windpipe.” Tilting his chin up, he said, “And I hardly ‘hide in the bushes.’ Don’t be insulting.”

“The men talk,” Thor said, still sounding prickly.

Loki is the one we think of as being the one who feels like he doesn’t fit in and as though he has to maintain an image of someone he isn’t...but I’m really partial to the idea that Thor feels the exact same way. The two of them have actually had this in common their entire lives, but they never talk about it or see this basic fact about each other. They’re both trying to live up to something, and it isn’t who either of them are.

Ah. So that was the issue. There Thor had been, just trying to get drunk with the Warriors Three and the Lady Sif while they compared body counts, and it had been interrupted by the troops questioning Loki’s prowess on the battlefield. Or perhaps even his commitment to the battle itself. What an inconvenience. How embarrassing. “Do they,” Loki said, his tone flat. “And do you defend me, brother? Or do you let them talk?”

Thor rolled his eyes. “Don’t start this.”

Does Thor not really answer the question because obviously he defends Loki, or because he doesn’t, and it embarrasses him? I left this purposefully ambiguous here. Loki certainly knows what he thinks.

Loki held up his hands, his eyes widening a little in an expression of sarcastic innocence. “I thought you started it. Didn’t you just tell me to stop hiding in the bushes?”

With a frustrated sigh, Thor said, “You take everything the wrong way.”

“Perhaps you should choose your words more carefully,” Loki shot back.

Their whole relationship, summed up in two lines.

For a long moment, Thor glared. Loki tried to return it with a look of cool haughtiness. Finally, Thor said, “Of course I defend you. But when even Hogun and Sif—”

At this, Loki’s mask dropped, he knew it did, and he knew that for a split second, the hurt showed on his face. Thor’s glare slipped as well and guilt flashed across his features.

They’re so good at hurting each other. It’s exactly what they’re trying to do, and then they instantly regret it. But it doesn’t stop them from doing it again.

Well, Loki had just told him to choose his words more carefully. It would do his brother good to listen. Otherwise you ended up saying things that other people didn’t need to hear.

Loki snorted derisively, a hard twist of a smile on his face. “I see.” The fact that Sif was bad-mouthing him stung more than he cared to admit. His feelings towards her toed the line between platonic and something more on and off for years, though he knew he’d never stand a chance with her.

Loki definitely had a thing for Sif for a long time. He’s being wishy-washy here.

Thor was her type. Blond, muscle-y, typical Asgardian male.

Loki’s type, when it comes to men, certainly involves muscles, just not the like, bulging bodybuilder muscles.

Which made her just like everyone else. Loki held out his hand and snapped his fingers shut, and the orb of light hovering over him snuffed out.

“Loki—”

“Good-night, Thor,” he said, his voice tight. Anger and resentment coiled in the pit of his stomach like a viper, slithering up his spine to the base of his skull so that it sat there, an intrusive otherness scratching at his mind.

Some purposeful snake imagery; and the use of ‘viper,’ which has connotations of treachery, was also deliberate.

As he laid down, he knew it would keep him awake, and that Thor probably wouldn’t be fooled by his stillness. He could cast an illusion, so that it looked like he was sleeping, and then leave his slumbering form here and roam the dark encampment, if he wanted to.

But he didn’t want to. He wanted to not feel like an outsider amongst his family and friends. He wanted ‘Asgardian’ to encompass his particular gifts too.

Loki is definitely arrogant about his abilities, which is an interesting thing to balance, since he’s also so deeply insecure. A lot of his bitterness comes from the fact that he knows he’s good at things, but they aren’t the right things. And even when they are the right things—like being great in battle—he doesn’t do it the ‘right’ way.

“Loki,” Thor said again.

He ignored his brother and closed his eyes. Tomorrow, Thor would have forgotten about this. Thor never had any trouble forgetting the things he said and did that wounded Loki.

This is true. Thor thinks before he speaks, but he also puts more stock in actions than words. Loki is the opposite.

That was a gift, he supposed, his face twisting in the dark. A very particular gift to be able to let go of words that hurt, one which he both hated and longed to have. Of course, Thor didn’t need to remember hurtful words, because the only person who ever flung any of them at him were Loki himself, and very little that Loki said was worth remembering in the eyes of his family and friends.

This is not true. Loki is being an unreliable narrator.

Fine. Thor would forget. Loki would try to, as well.

Thank you so much for asking!! 😄

Fanfic Writers: Director’s Cut

#loki #thor #brodinsons #Anonymous

0 notes