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thran-duils · 3 years

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Doll Me Up (P.6)

Title: Doll Me Up (Part Six) Summary: Fem!Reader x Dark Mob!Tony Stark. On good days, you and Tony were a power couple. You, a perfect trophy wife with your hands in local charities to promote a wholesome image. Tony, business man but sullied with organized crime. He indulged in his illegal gambling, extortion, and political corruption. And he indulged in his escort business. Hell, that is where he had found you. You were a brat, and he loved a challenge. Words: 2.858 Warnings: Unhealthy relationships, smut, daddy kink, dom/sub, manipulation, death, violence, possessive behavior Author’s Note: Pepper is going to be mentioned not as a love interest. If that bothers you, please don’t read on!

Part Five || Part Seven || Masterpost (mobile) || Fanfic masterpost

Three months ago… (cont.)

Tony realized he had not seen Y/N for a while. They were at a good point to pause their playing, so he told them all to get refreshers and have a break. The escort girls were waiting on the men and one of them came up to Tony, all flirtatious smile, asking him if he wanted her to grab him something.

“No, dear. Thank you though. I need to go check on my lovely little wife.”

He sighed heavily walking inside, expecting to find Y/N sprawled out on their bed pouting or in a bubble bath since he had told her to go upstairs if she was going to be in a bad mood.

She was not on the bed, although the window was open, the curtain blowing lightly in the breeze. He frowned seeing she was not in their bedroom or their bathroom. Or in her closet.

Tony clicked the speaker system on the wall. “F.R.I.D.A.Y… what room is Y/N in?”

“Mrs. Stark left one hour, three minutes, and 38 seconds ago.”

“What?” Tony demanded. “What do you mean left?”

“Mrs. Stark took the BMW M8 Coupe.”

His eyes bugged out of his head. “She’s driving? She had like 5 drinks!” Tony shouted and realized he was shouting at his AI system and as he turned to charge out of the room, F.R.I.D.A.Y. answered.

“Yes, sir.”

He booked it down the stairs down towards the garage to where he could check the computer system to track where the car was. He was fuming but beneath the anger, was simmering worry. He did not want her to get into an accident. How the hell did she just leave without saying anything? How the hell did she think she was okay to drive?

Impatiently, he waited for the menu to load and he slapped the screen to click her car the second he was able to. His finger were tapping quickly on the desk as the map came up. He narrowed his eyes.

“Ocean Park?” he murmured, racking his brain. It clicked and he shook his head. She had a friend that lived there. The car was not moving, she must be at their house. He watched for another minute to make sure the car really did not move before he pushed away from the desk pissed off.

When he came back out onto the patio, he made a beeline for where his phone was on the poker table. He dialed her number, his other hand coming up to his hip. She did not answer, and he called back immediately. After the fourth in a row, he let out an aggravated noise, swearing under his breath. He turned around to go over to where his guys had migrated to around the pool, clutching his phone.

“Who is the most sober?” he demanded as he tore his sunglasses off to make sure they saw his eyes and how serious he was about his question.

Happy shook his head – not a surprise to Tony. It was his day off. Mikhail and Louis raised half hearted hands, looking confused.

“Stop drinking. I’m gonna need you to drive me.”

“What’s going on?” Happy asked, his brow furrowed in confusion.

“Y/N decided to take a little joy drive. Fucking… she was definitely not sober. She left an hour ago. She’s down by the Santa Monica pier. Her friend. Name starts with a C.” Happy went to put his drink down and Tony wagged his finger, stalling his movement. “No, you enjoy the pool. Enjoy yourself. I’ll deal with it.” He pointed at Mikhail and Louis. “I wanna go in like a half hour to an hour. Is that gonna work?” They both nodded and Tony said, “Good. I’m gonna try to call her ass again. Little bitch is ignoring me.”

He turned away from them, dialing her number again. “Trying to wreck her fucking birthday present,” he muttered, thinking he had just bought her that car and how pissed he was gonna be if she did get into an accident with it.

<><><>

Tony came into the kitchen, fully dressed. He had not been in the bedroom when you woke up but F.R.I.D.A.Y. told you that he was down in his lab. You had decided to not bother him and instead gotten ready and come downstairs to make yourself a light breakfast. You had made him some eggs too just in case.

You told him as such when he came over to give you a kiss. He made a pleased hum and took a forkful to appease you. He moved away to pour a coffee, tossing a look over at you.

“Hmm, that’s a nice suit.”

You had chosen a bright yellow one, barely there.

“Just gonna get some sun since I can’t go anywhere yet,” you said, eyeing him. “Unless you wanna give me the new garage code…?”

“No,” Tony said almost immediately. “No car yet.”

It had been a week and a half since you had run off on him. Again. He had removed the bar of you going outside a couple days after he brought dinner home.

“I’m not gonna go anywhere that’s not around here. I just wanna drive.”

“That’s not something I can trust you with yet.”

You pushed away from the counter and came to stand in front of him. He stared at you, cocking an eyebrow before he took a sip of his coffee. He was just patiently waiting to see what you were going to do.

Without breaking eye contact, you sunk to your knees, pulling at his belt buckle. He did not fight you; you saw him try to hide a smirk as you pulled his dick out, beginning to stroke slowly. Your tongue flicked at his tip, his eyes locked on you.

Suddenly, he held a finger up to you, placing his coffee down on the counter. He took his phone out of his pocket, dialing a number. “Yeah, Terry?” He let out a small grunt as you took him fully to the base. He shot you a warning look and you merely gave him doe eyes, humming softly. He got out in a strangled voice, “I’m gonna be late to our Zoom. Probably by 15 minutes? Mhmm. Yep.”

You were an expert at getting him to come by now, knowing all the tricks that would send him to the moon. He came in your mouth, warm coating the back of your throat. Your head was pressed against the cabinet as he held you there, emptying himself, his head thrown back and groaning.

“Good girl,” he rasped, his fingers going lax on the sides of your head.

His cock fell from your lips and you wiped at your mouth.

Tony let out an amused laugh, “That was naughty of you, baby. Trying to manipulate me like that.”

You put him back in his pants, gently zipping him back up. As you did up his belt, you asked innocently, “Did it work?”

His hand came to cup underneath your jaw, tilting your head up. He shrugged, “Kind of. Have Mikhail take you wherever you wanna go. I’ll leave you some cash.”

It was better than nothing. You wanted to get away from the house.

“Thank you,” you said, remembering your manners.

<><><>

You got even better than driving down the road a few days later, making obscene noises as you rode Tony in his board room. The two of you had climbed on top of the long table and he was lying back, letting you ride his cock. Your eyes drifted over to the window, looking out over New York City. You were so high up. He had never taken you to NYC before and damn, was he showing you the sights with his view from Stark Tower.

It had started with a hand up your skirt the moment the door had closed behind the two of you.

Tony assured you that the room was soundproof, grinning devilishly at you as his fingers slipped past your underwear, toying at your sex.

“Daddy,” you had pouted, trying to get away from him. You wanted more of a tour of the building than just his office and this board room.

“Yes, princess?” he purred, his other hand come down on the table beside you, blocking you from moving that way. His hand caressing you pinched at your sex and you bucked back.

Your hand came up to his chest and you tugged at his collar. “What about the rest of the building?”

“Who cares about the rest of the building? That’s where the grunts work,” Tony said, his nose buried in your neck. He nipped at your shoulder, kissing softly.

“But they are important. Maybe I wanna meet them.”

Tony pulled away enough to look at you. He saw you were serious and he laughed amused, bordering on condescending. “Mhm, you don’t gotta worry about them. But, it’s cute of you to do so.”

He was back at your neck, leaving a wet trail of kisses. He coaxed you, his fingers pressing in. A low growl left his throat, “Imagine if I fucked you in front of the board as I gave a presentation?”

You had crawled up on the table at that, beckoning him to follow you and he had done so without hesitation. He had been more than willing to let you crawl on top, sinking down onto his length, the skirt of your summer dress spread out around the two of you. You egged him on as you hovered, letting him drive himself up into you. His eyes were swimming with determination and you drug your teeth across your bottom lip, not breaking eye contact, causing him to thrust harder at your lewd stare.

“You’re so sexy, baby,” he husked.

Perfect timing. You raised yourself up out of reach, empty of him, staring down.

Tony cocked his head slightly, his fingers digging into your thighs.

“Baby,” his voice rumbled low. “Don’t you go teasing me now.”

“I want to go to the Met.”

If his eyes could have rolled out of his head, they would have. “Jesus Christ. Really?”

He had refused you when you had asked on the jet over here, telling you it was boring. He had been though, and you had never been. You wanted to at least experience it.

You began to sink back down onto his cock again and his breath hitched before you pulled away again. His jaw set, frustration setting into his features.

“I wanna go!” you told him firmly.

“I told you—”

You started to swing your leg over to move away from him but his arm came swinging up to meet you, anticipating your movement. He dropped your momentum – it was weak, admittedly, because you were doing it more for show than anything, knowing you were going to get your way when he was this worked up. He would do anything to finish. His momentum though was not weak and your knee came slamming back down on the table.

“Ow!” you complained..

His other hand snaked around you, yanking you to him so your noses were almost touching.

“Princess, I’m telling you right now. You drag this out, I’m gonna put you – and you alone – right back on that jet without seeing anything other than this damn room.” You pouted again and he growled, “I’m fucking serious. Behave and I’ll take you to that stupid museum.”

“It’s not stupid—” you started to argue but quickly lined himself back up with his other hand and drove himself up into you roughly, cutting you off as you gasped.

Fine. If that is how he wanted to play.

You pushed away from his embrace, settling back. You took control of the rhythm, riding him again. His grin was wide, resting back down to let you fuck him. You closed your eyes, going quickly as broken husks of praise fell from his lips.

“Tony!”

The voice snapped you from your haze and you stopped midthrust, looking over your shoulder in shock and embarrassment. Pepper was standing there by the door, her head turned to avoid looking at the pair of you.

Tony’s fingers dug into your hips as he did a curl up to peer past you at Pepper.

“What?” he demanded annoyed that she was interrupting.

“Your 2 o’clock showed up early,” Pepper said in an even voice. How did she manage to be so calm and collected at a situation like this, you wondered.

“Well, make them wait. I’m obviously in the middle of something. If you would turn your head about 90 degrees you’d clearly see that, Pepper.”

“I’m good,” Pepper replied flatly. “I heard enough when I came in here.”

Tony snorted, lying back down. “Make his ass wait, like I said. I don’t bend to his schedule. I need to finish my ‘meditation’.” His hand smacked your ass roughly. “That means you. Relax me.”

Pepper rolled her eyes before turning and leaving the room. The door closed behind her and your eyes were still on the door before Tony gave a rough thrust. You whined, your head turned back to look at him.

“You heard the woman. We have an appointment that decided they needed to be up in my ass. Why even make an appointment if you’re not going to keep the time? Speed it up, princess, if you still wanna earn your reward.”

Moving again, you planted your hands on his chest. Your nails dug in and he hissed. “I’m gonna drain you, daddy.”

His smile was wicked, watching your breasts bounce. It did not take long after that for him to empty, holding you tightly in place as his cock twitched inside of you. He exhaled deeply, slapping your ass again, his hand lingering and caressing.

“Fuck that was good,” he breathed. “I think you earned your prize.”

<><><>

You sat in Tony’s office playing on your phone as he spoke business with the man. It was illegal, what they were talking about. The man was ignoring the fact you were in there; he must trust the fact that you were married to Tony that you were not going to leak anything. They spoke in hushed tones even though the door was closed. It was boring really and you were not catching much of the conversation.

When they stood up, shaking hands, you almost breathed a sigh of relief. You wanted to leave the office and go do some sightseeing. The two of them left you alone in the office and you sat in silence.

The door opened again and you looked up, expecting Tony but found Pepper walking in holding a file. She hesitated only for a second seeing you but moved on, placing the file on the desk.

“Hey, Pepper,” you said to her as she moved to leave the office. She stopped and turned, looking at you expectantly. “What would you suggest I do while I’m here? I’ve never been to the city before.”

“Does Tony not have an itinerary laid out?” You shook your head and she said, “That doesn’t sound like him.”

“He didn’t even wanna go to the Met. He told me it was boring.”

“I’m not surprised by that.”

Her eyes flicked to your stomach which was not missed by you. It would be a couple months before you were supposed to start showing but you knew she knew. The cat was definitely out of the bag by now.

“Obviously can’t do any drinking stuff,” you said, trying to remove the elephant in the room. “I’m just excited to be here though and wanna do some fun stuff. Especially now that I can go outside again.”

Pepper’s brow furrowed. “Why couldn’t you go outside..?”

You shrugged, “I was grounded.”

“Grounded.” She repeated the word, sounding a mixture of disbelief and confusion.”

“Tony didn’t like a decision I made.”

“You mean you running off to another state?”

So, that cat was also out of the bag.

Shrugging again, you said, “Yeah. That. That really made him mad.”

“I would think he was more worried than anything, Y/N.”

“He had someone beat up because they tried to let me have a place to stay for the night.” That seemed to surprise her. Hmm, something she did not know. “And then I got locked inside. So, like I said, if you have any places you really like around the city… I could use the pointers to make the most of this.”

Pepper was silent for a few moments before she said, “If you like architecture and history, I really like the St. Patrick’s Cathedral. I’m not Catholic myself but the building is beautiful. The SeaGlass Carousel is fun. And Mario’s has really good food.”

“Hmm,” you said in response. “Thanks!” You took out your phone and typed them in as you told her, “That’s helpful.”

“No problem. I do have to get back to work though,” Pepper told you.

You nodded, “I understand. Thanks again.”

She left the room and you smiled, hoping you had started to make a helpful friend.

~~~

Forever tags: @coconutqueen21

Fic tags: @kvzctam, @farihafangirls, @teenageregression, @mrsnegan25, @lilacs-lavender, @agustdowney, @kind-of-crazy-butthatsokay

#tony stark x reader #dark!tony stark #mob tony stark #dark tony stark #dark marvel fic #my shit

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nashibirne · 3 years

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Against all odds - 2.17

Here’s the next part of my fic! I’m sorry I haven’t updated it in a while, but I hope you like this part anyway.

Pairing: Henry Cavill x ofc

Summary: Henry finally meets Lestat

Warnings: None, only mentioning of sex

NO BETA! So maybe…bad english

Tags: @hell1129-blog @willkatfanfromasia @mis-lil-red

@lunedelorient @inlovewithhisblueeyes

Previous Parts:

2.1 2.2 2.3 2.4 2.5 2.6 2.7 2.8 2.9 2.10 2.11/2.12 2.13 2.14/2.15 2.16

2.17

A few weeks later Anna and Henry were sitting in her kitchen, drinking coffee. They still were perfectly happy, loving each other dearly.

The premiere of Macbeth had been a huge success and so was meeting Henry's parents for the first time. They were really nice and uncomplicated. It felt natural to talk to them and Anna got along with them very well.

So now that they had taken this hurdle successfully the next one awaited them already.

"You're really ready for this dinner?" Anna asked with a frown, pouring Henry some coffee. "It's only three hours time and I'm damn nervous." she added.

"Sure. Can't wait to finally meet them." Henry gave her a reassuring look. "Really, babe."

"All right. Good." She still didn't seem to relax. "Remember what I told you, okay? Don't let Lestat provoke you."

"Anna..." Henry let out a deep sigh. Ever since they had got the news that Jonas, Julia, and Lestat were coming to stay at Braxton for a couple of days, she kept on telling him this. He knew she was tense about him meeting Lestat but he really thought she was exaggerating with giving him all these warnings and instructions for handling her ex. They had talked this through countless times and she was still worried that this dinner was going to be a disaster.

"Listen, Babe. I promise -again- I won't let him provoke me, okay. He can insult me as much as he wants, I'm not going to react."

He leaned over the kitchen table in her cottage, cupped her face, placing a tender kiss on her lips.

"Henry, that's not the point. He's not going to insult you. Lestat is much more subtle. He will try to get under your skin. To make you feel bad. To make you feel inferior. He wants to prove that you are no good for me and believe me, he's a great manipulator. You have no idea..."

He kissed her again, interrupting her mid-sentence, brushing his tongue against her lips.

"Don't try to distract me, Cavill. I'm serious. You don't know Lestat."

"Right, I don't know him because you refuse to talk about him."

"I know." Anna stared at her coffee mug, stirring the hot liquid, lost in thought.

"Then talk to me now. It's better for me to know at least anything before facing him. I mean, besides the facts I know already. He's french but grew up in Germany. He's a solicitor. You went to an international private school together. You've been best friends ever since. He was your boyfriend for almost 14 years. He had a new girlfriend but broke up with her a few weeks ago and he very likely still loves you."

"What more do you need to know?" Anna shrugged.

"I need to know what kind of person he is. What kind of man. How did he become your best friend and later your lover? Stuff like this."

Anna sighed. "All right. I'm going to tell you about Lestat Dalmasso. I don't think it will be helpful but if you want to know...listen carefully.

Right away from their first day in elementary school Anna, Jonas and Lestat were absolutely inseparable. People used to make fun of them, calling them the triplets because they were so close. Lestat was there for them when their parents died, mourning too, because he loved them almost as much as his own parents. He protected the twins, took care of them, helped them to carry on with their life. They stuck together like glue, knowing each other by heart.

And they stayed close throughout their entire time at school, although there was a slight shift in their relationship when they were teenagers. The boys were all about sports and girls at that time, both total jocks and players. Jo was captain of the rowing team, Lestat was a skilled fencer, but their favorite discipline was laying girls at parties. Anna on the other hand wasn't into parties or sports. She loved her books and her boyfriend Tom. Besides working damn hard for good grades, she spent her time at home with Tom, being the good girl her grandparents didn't have to worry about.

But still, despite the fact that Anna didn't share the boy's love for sex, sports and rock 'n' roll, they were the very best friends, sharing all kinds of worries, thoughts and joy. In the last year of school Tom broke up with Anna and Lestat was her greatest support, listening endless times to her mourning for her first love, drying her tears, making her laugh again.

After graduation Anna got a scholarship plus her uncle had pulled a few strings, so she was able to follow in her mother's tracks by studying in Oxford. It was limited to two years but it meant the world to her.

When Anna returned from Oxford it was a total shock to see Lestat again. He had changed so much in these two years when she had been in the UK. He almost seemed like a different person. When she left he was a cute teenage boy who covered up his many insecurities by an eccentric, arrogant behavior. The spoiled brat of rich french parents who cultivated acting like a dandy, breaking girls hearts by the dozen. Despite his unconventional way of dressing and his ostentatious pretentiousness he had always been the star of their school. Everybody wanted to be his friend but the only real true friends he ever had were the twins. They were the only ones who knew the boy behind the mask of cockiness. The sensitive, highly intelligent guy with all those self-doubts and issues. Their best friend who was the most loyal and caring person they knew, always reliable, always coming up with solutions and ideas. The great pretender who would let them -and only them- see his true self.

The Lestat she found in their kitchen the day she returned from Oxford was no longer an insecure boy. He was a man now, handsome, mature, witty and very attractive. Sexy. Hot. In her wildest dreams Anna couldn't have imagined to ever fall in love with him, but this was exactly what happened right away. It felt like she was struck by lightning, coming out of the blue, unannounced but wonderful. The feeling was mutual and there was no chance in fighting it.

Jonas was furious when he realized that his best friend slept with his sister. He tried to talk them out of it, tried to convince them that this could never work, that they were too different. That this would end with at least one broken heart and a shattered friendship. But love was stronger than reason. Passion made it impossible to be sensible. So finally Jonas gave up. But not without making them swear an oath. If they would ever break up they would do anything possible to save their friendship.

"So that's the reason why you don't shut him out of your life. This oath." Henry said, when she'd finished talking, holding Anna's hand, stroking it gently with his thumb. "Yes, we owe it to Jonas to save our friendship. That was the deal." she sighed.

Three hours later Anna and Henry were standing in the castle's entrance hall meeting 'the german bunch' and Milton Arnold, Viscount Brankhurst, and his new girlfriend Mary who attended the dinner too.

Julia and Jonas greeted Henry with tight hugs, genuinely happy to meet him in person. Lestat was a little more distant but not unfriendly. He shook Henry's hand, a warm smile on his lips, looking him in the eyes. "Nice to finally meet you, Henry. I’ve been looking forward to this." His english was almost without an accent. 13 years in an international school obviously paid off.

"Nice to meet you too." Henry had to admit he was surprised and impressed by Lestat's appearance. He was a tall man, taller than himself, at least 6 ft 2. He was not as broad as Henry but buff too. Athletic and fit, like someone who runs a lot, doing his cardio regularly. Moreover he was really handsome, his face narrow with high cheekbones and a sharp jawline, his hazel eyes speckled with golden spots, his hair dark blonde and wavy. His suit was tailor-made, elegant and classy, giving him a distinguished look. He had a special charisma, radiating self-confidence and cockiness with a hint of snobbery. It wasn't hard to imagine that he was a lady-killer.

The dinner went quite well and everybody started to relax, having some glasses of excellent wine and delicious food. Lestat didn't seem to be looking for trouble. He was very interested in the things Henry told them about the renovation of the farm and his engagement at the Royal Shakespeare Company and he entertained the party with stories from his and the twins' childhood and youth.

After dessert George and Thomas got up from the table, preparing to leave.

"We're going to retire now, my dears, leaving the young folk to it. Enjoy yourselves and good night. Henry, please join us for breakfast tomorrow, will you?"

"Sure, thanks George." Henry answered, smiling.

After saying their goodbyes they stayed in the dining room for a while, chatting and laughing about this and that. Milton and Mary shared the story of their first date that had been quite disastrous but with a happy ending obviously. There was a slight change in Lestat's behaviour, who now concentrated on stories about Anna and himself, addressing her directly, getting quite familiar. His innuendos and almost flirty tone started to unnerve Henry, making him tense. He moved closer to Anna, laying his arm around her shoulder, kissing her tenderly on her cheek, demonstrating who now was the man in Anna's life.

Jonas seemed to notice the changing atmosphere too.

"Let's move to the drawing room, it's time for some music." he said.

"Sure." Lestat answered. "It's been way too long we made music together anyway."

The drawing room was gorgeous - light and beautifully furnished- with a grand piano placed in the corner besides the windows.

Jonas started to play some cheerful pieces of music that eased up everybody's mood.

He was a very skilled player. Henry knew he played the drums in a band in his free time but he obviously knew how to play the piano too. Which wasn't really surprising, since their mother was a pianist and their father a piano builder. After a while Anna and Jonas performed a wonderful ballad four-handed. It was the first time he heard his girlfriend sing and he was surprised how beautiful and touching her voice was. Warm and full, with a hint of roughness that really turned him on.

Lestat looked at Anna continuously, not even trying to hide his ogling from Henry.

"It's my turn now." he said after Jo and Anna had finished. Lestat started playing and everyone in the room recognized the song immediately. It was "Against all odds" and he seemed to sing it only for Anna, looking her right in the eyes. She started shifting in her seat uncomfortably, avoiding Henry's gaze. Jules and Jonas exchanged glances, obviously irritated too. Milton and Mary were too polite to show what they were thinking but Milton's forced smile gave it away anyway.

Henry was so tense now, his whole body stiffened, he clenched his teeth, his hands were balled into fists. He tried to pretend that he was fine, to play it cool, but he was sure Lestat could see right through him, reading him like an open book. He knew now what Anna had meant when she had predicted that Lestat had something up his sleeve.

"How can you just walk away from me

When all I can do is watch you leave?

'Cause we've shared the laughter and the pain

And even shared the tears

You're the only one who really knew me at all."

Lestat's voice was deep and dark, with a captivating timbre. Henry got up, standing behind Anna's seat, placing his hands on her shoulders, squeezing them gently. Anna didn't look at him, but she laid her hands on his, stroking them, building a connection.

I wish I could just make you turn around

Turn around and see me cry

There's so much I need to say to you

So many reasons why

You're the only one who really knew me at all

So take a look at me now

Well there's just an empty space

And there's nothing left here to remind me

Just the memory of your face

Now take a look at me now

'Cause that's just an empty space

But to wait for you is all I can do

And that's what I've gotta face.

Lestat didn't even seem to notice Henry, still looking at Anna only, finishing the song as if it was the most normal thing to do.

"Are we done with this shit show now?" Henry asked after the last few tones, his voice restrained, his eyebrows narrowed.

"Shit show? That's a rude way to comment on my....performance. You didn't like it?" Lestat got up from the piano chair a cocky grin on his face.

"What I don't like is another man singing cheesy love songs for my woman."

"Your woman? Do you own her now?"

"Lestat, stop it." Anna's voice was sharp like a knife. "Shut the fuck up, okay?"

"I'm not the one being rude." Lestat shrugged.

"Just leave it be." Jonas said, touching his friend's arm to calm him down.

Henry and Lestat were facing each other now, staring in each other's eyes. Henry was about to freak out. The smug smile on Lestat's lips, the challenging look in his eyes...everything about him made Henry want to punch his handsome face.

It was Milton who finally got between them, interrupting their staring contest.

"Guys, let's act like civilized gentlemen, all right? This isn't the time nor the place for this. So let's drop the topic." After a few seconds Henry took a step back, taking Anna's hand. "Sure. I'm sorry."

Lestat just nodded slowly, turning around, sitting down on a loveseat, his long legs stretched out.

"Maybe we should go." Anna said softly.

"What. Now that we're having so much fun?" The sarcasm in Lestat's voice scared her. "We haven't even started telling embarrassing stories from our life or discussing our relationships."

"Right. Let's leave it at that." Henry said, his words sounding like a threat but Lestat continued anyway, ignoring him completely.

"I mean...for example.... isn't it funny, Anna. Four men in this room, and you’ve fucked three of them...."

Anna's heart skipped a beat, her face turning red with anger and embarrassment. She simply couldn't believe he'd really said that.

"God. You never disappoint, Lestat."

"Oh, I didn't know it's supposed to be a secret." Lestat smiled innocently.

"Well, now it isn't a secret anymore." Henry was surprised how calm his voice was, because his heart was racing with fury. "But don't worry, Lestat. I've known it anyway. Anna told me about the encounter at the students party."

To Henry's big surprise it was Jonas who freaked out now. Anger in his eyes, his voice full of bewilderment.

"You touched my sister? How dare you Milton. I told you to look after her at Oxford, not to fuck her. I can't believe it...."

"I'm sorry, Jo. It was once only...."

"Oh great, fuck and go. Yeah, that sounds a lot like you..."

"Would you please stop it, Jo. This is none of your business." Anna interrupted them, almost yelling now. "What happened between me and Mils is none of anyone's business at all. We're fine with it and that's all that matters. What do you mean by 'I told you to look after her' at all? You thought I'd need a babysitter?" She shook her head in disbelief. "Screw it...I hope you're happy now, Lestat."

Anna turned around, sinking into Henry's arms, exhausted and sick of fighting, hugging him tightly. She felt like a rag doll, all tension gone from her body. Henry kissed her forehead, embracing her. "It’s all right, princess." he whispered softly in her ear. “Let’s go home”

#Henry Cavill fandom #henry cavill fanfiction #henry cavill x ofc #cavillry #henry cavill

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deadenginescribbywibs · 3 years

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Reunion - Prologue

After the battle there was an impromptu information session held in a damp and chilly bunker half a mile up from the ruined compound. Night was already closing in, as were reporters and the few family and friends tied to the heroes who weren’t present at the battle. May Parker, Happy Hogan, Cassie Lang, Clint Barton's wife and kids.

“We need to be prepared,” Captain America said, still beaten and bruised but no longer sporting dirt in his teeth, “just in case anything else happens- In case anyone comes from another time.”

And so the remaining heroes sat in October weather in the concrete room, some falling asleep- from the cold or their injuries, who could say. He talked about what he could. The battle of Wakanda five years prior, chopping off Thanos’ head, Natasha, Tony. When he couldn’t choke back the tears, Sam took over, and when Sam couldn’t continue, it was Rhodey. Towards the end it was Rocket who carried the meeting, and in the back, Peter Parker kept his eyes firmly on the ground. Nearest to the door and too cold from the draft of impending winter wind, he listened to the drone of strained, sometimes tearful voices. When it was over, wrapped in a damp blanket, Peter wondered if this is what it meant to be an Avenger.

---

Peter always imagined the Avengers having a lot of energy, at least that was his impression from Germany. What he saw now wasn’t a group of unlikely heroes rising to meet challenges head on. They were just ghosts, like him, and he felt he could fade away at any moment.

His phone rang, probably Ned or May. He had nothing to say, so he didn’t pick up.

The boy sat in the hall all alone. At least it was warm, a far cry better from the two freezing nights sleeping on cots outside the upstate Avengers facility. Peter rolled his shoulders in their joints and stretched his neck. His head was still pounding, the last reminder of the physical toll of Thanos. Even safe inside, Peter’s mind was still on the battlefield, on Titan, and Tony’s face when he started to dust away, the desperate grip trying to keep him alive.

Peter started at the sturdy hand landing on his shoulder.

“Hey.” Steve Rogers stood at his side, blue eyes fixed on the sign on the far wall. MORGUE. “Thanks.”

Peter shrugged his shoulders and averted his eyes. “For what?” He croaked.

“For staying with him. Tony never liked to be alone…” Tears stung at Peter’s already red rimmed eyes but he held them in, body tense. After a moment's hesitation Steve sat down in the other dingy little mint green chair and crossed his arms. The silence stretched on until it was comfortable.

Eventually Peter fell asleep, head resting on Captain America’s shoulder.

Steve was just trying to stay awake.

“What’s up, punk?” Bucky strolled up the hall in his green sweats and grey long sleeve shirt, metal hand tucked into a pocket.

Steve gestured at the teen asleep on the floor a few feet away. “Babysitting.”

Bucky’s eyes trailed over the small figure huddled under the wool blanket pressed up against the wall, a hospital gown balled up under his head. “Jesus, we can’t get the kid a bed?”

Steve shook his head. “He wouldn’t leave if he could.” He nodded to the ‘Morgue’ sign.

“Starks?”

“Sort of.”

By the third day they were able to disperse somewhat. It took time to get communication and transportation back online through SHIELD, and to get the unhoused heroes into some kind of temporary lodging while waiting for spaceships and quinjets to be repaired. A side effect of many of the heroes being stranded on Earth and more specifically in New York, however, was that they ended up at the lakehouse of one recently widowed Pepper Potts. For having just watched her husband die and the near destruction of the universe, she was managing as well as could be expected.

Peter was sharing a spare room with Thor and Rocket and Peter Quill, and although he hadn’t been alone in a week- or a week and five years, depending how you looked at it, the sounds of breathing in the dark room were a comfort compared to the clinical silence of the medical wing hall.

At 4:40am his stomach rumbled. Peter groaned. “No.” He turned over under his covers, but the hunger wouldn’t let up. After days without food running on a super metabolism, his will finally broke at 5:13am and Peter slunk out of the bedroom tiptoeing over beings big and small alike.

The kitchen was dimly lit. Outside, a small lake glimmered under a moon hanging low like ripe fruit, illuminating the trinkets and cups and pictures in the modest but modern kitchen, not the place he pictured Tony retiring into but nice nonetheless. It was homey.

He didn’t have an appetite per se, or at least the nausea was still battling against his will to eat, but Peter eventually settled on a box of crackers in a cupboard. He plunged a hand into the crinkling plastic liner and stuffed a handful of saltines into his mouth greedily, and suddenly parched, Peter reached for a cup for water. Next to the haphazardly placed drinking glasses were a row of pictures, the first, Howard Stark he recognized from history books, and the next he wasn’t sure, but the last in the line made Peter’s heart skip a beat. Tony and Peter posed for a photo for his Stark Internship, peace signs poised and smiling giddily. He’d thought it was the best day of his life. He must have been standing staring at the picture for a long time, because by the time Peter broke out of his melancholy, the stars had faded out of sight in the early morning sky.

There was a faint shuffling to his side. Peter turned to see Pepper Potts in her bathrobe, not a trace of makeup on her face, a tissue in her hand. She’d been crying all right.

“Oh.” She said faintly seeing Peter standing at the counter, the photo lying in front of him. “I didn’t see you Peter. Sorry, I just woke up feeling-’ Pepper gestured at the room in general as if to say ‘I just watched my husband die horrifically and now our retirement home is filled with sad heroes and I don’t know what to do.” But Peter didn’t say anything. He presented her with the box of crackers. “Still not talking much, hey?” She sniffled and ran a hand through Peter’s hair before reaching into the box of crackers. “Me too.”

Pepper bustled around the room preparing coffee. When she placed a mug next to him she noticed the picture and picked it up silently. She traced her fingers over the frame. “You know, he did it for you, Pete. He loved you.” Peter could have sprinted away at lightning speed, a rush of guilt balling up in his chest and stomach telling him to escape, but he forced himself to stand very still. Pepper kissed the top of his head and turned back to her coffee, smiling still. “He can rest now.”

So there was some crying in the shower. One might call it hysterical, but Peter thought he did okay considering. If he’d gotten in before taking off his pyjamas, well. No one was around to see.

“Move over.” A voice grumbled over him. Peter was back in bed again that morning of the third day, and judging by the light slanting through the windows, it was probably still early. Thor stood over him looking quite gruff. “I can’t sleep on the floor anymore.” He said it politely enough, so Peter scooted over until he was laying practically at the edge of the double bed. Thor collapsed onto the other side and it hardly took a moment for him to fall fast asleep.

Not wanting to consider why they had given him the bed in the first place- “He slept on the floor outside the morgue. If Tony could have seen-” Peter rolled over to check his phone. 39 Text Messages, 9 Voicemails. Peter groaned, he scrolled through the latest messages from May.

May (6:43am)

Call me when you can.

May (6:48am)

And text me that you’re okay.

May (6:49am)

I larb you.

The familiar guilt returned and with it, the nausea. Peter thought he might throw up if he had to talk on the phone. He wanted to see May more than anything, more than seeing Tony again, more than eating a hot poptart right out of the toaster, but he couldn’t. It would break her heart, and with the sad eyes he was already getting from the Avengers collectively, Peter couldn’t do that to anyone else. He hastily replied. Larb u 2.

When Thor rolled over a moment later Peter found himself trapped under a huge outstretched arm. Being too tired to lift it- Thor must weigh 800 pounds, it was so heavy- he resigned himself to being crushed. With just bird calls and Thor’s faint snoring and Rocket and Quills quiet breathing to be heard in the room, Peter fell back asleep.

That afternoon the Avengers seemed to be doing better. Rocket banged around in his spaceship now housed in the backyard with Nebula’s help. Quill was checking out Bucky’s motorcycle, though the assassin still seemed very uncomfortable at the lake house in general. Steve Rogers came and went on his bike. Peter thought he was taking comfort in doing damage control, if only to spare Pepper from doing it. She was taking a nap on the couch.

The house was mostly quiet and so Peter was taking a moment of refuge to sit on the back porch with a cup of tea and his wool blanket. He didn’t know where it had come from, honestly, and it was outright filthy and dingy from getting dragged around the battlefield and the SHIELD compound for days. He was just drifting into space when the screen door swung open and a young brown haired teen stepped out. Peter recognized him as Harley Bennet, though they’d only met a couple times before the Snap and a couple times over video since the battle.

“Peter.” He said, and Peter stood up shakily in his blanket. Harley extended a hand but then shook himself. “What am I doing-” and he pulled the younger boy in for a hug. When they pulled back Peter gave him a weak smile. “How’s it going here?”

The young Avenger just shrugged his shoulders. A moment later a bounding blur of dark brown hair and blue pyjamas burst through the door. “Harley!”

“Morguna! In the flesh!” He called, sweeping her into a spinning hug. “What’s up, lil sis?”

“I’m sad.” She said suddenly pouting. Peter grimaced. To his surprise Harley knelt down by her side. “Me too. But you know what Tony said about being sad?”

“What?” She asked innocently.

“It’s nothing blowing stuff up can’t fix.” He whispered.

And so that’s how Peter, Morgan and Harley found themselves in the barn that afternoon, a frightening weapon tucked under Harley’s arms. The former two were still in their pyjamas, and all three wore safety goggles although Morgan’s were on askew. Peter reached over to adjust them and gave her a pat on the head, she smiled at him.

“Nobody tell Pepper about this.” Harley said with wide eyes.

“Don’t chicken out.” Morgan whined and received a rakish grin in return.

“I won’t. I’m not. Listen. Tony talked about-” He made a funny gesture, “alien invasions sometimes when I was a kid, and it got me thinking, what would I do if they came? So I made this gun.”

Peter eyed the glowing gun suspiciously. The thought that this was a Very Bad Idea was starting to sprout in his mind. “I mean, it’s a potato gun, okay? It’s not like Tony was going to give me real ammo.”

“Com’n!” Morgan cried, and Harley grinned again.

“Alright okay.” Harley shouldered the gun over the very poor barricade they made from a tipped over wheelbarrow and a barrel, pointing it at a bale of hay for Gerald’s lunch. “Check it out!” He said, and yanked on a lever which started a worrying, high pitched buzz. It cranked a couple times and sputtered. “Oh, come on.” Harley said, giving it a bat with his palm. Suddenly the gun fired up, and Peter just reached out to grab it just in time to point it at the target when it erupted, launching several potatoes at criminal velocities. “Ah!” They cried. The potatoes hurled through the bales, strands of hay cascaded everywhere, the potatoes made a hulking splutter sound on the other side as they crashed through the wood plank walls, splintered wood shot out the other side and someone cried “Oh my fucking god. Are you serious?!”

It was Rocket. Harley, Peter and Morguna looked at each other, at the erupted hay bale, at the light streaming through the hole in the wall, and at the potato gun. “Oh my god!” Peter whispered loudly.

“Whoever that was, you are about to be dead.” Rocket said from outside. Peter grabbed the gun, hurled it under the nearest vehicle, grabbed Morgan and Harley and launched all three of them into the hay loft.

Rockets shadow appeared before he did and he looked menacingly at the overturned wheelbarrow and scattered hay as he came around the corner. “Seriously? Whoever that was, come out now so I can shoot you in the face.”

Morgan giggled, Harley and Peter covered her mouth, perfectly still in the scratchy hay. “Shh!” There was a strand poking Morgan right in the face, and she wrinkled her nose again as it itched. Nebula came around the corner looking just as unimpressed. She glanced over the scene and then at Rocket. “Children’s games.” She said.

“I got hit in the ass with a fucking potato.” The racoon complained.

“Get over it.” She said walking away. Rocket glared into the dingh of the room. Morgan’s nose crinkled again and she shivered, and just as Rocket turned away, she let out a sneeze. He pinned the three of them with a look, probably marking a small oddly shaped mound of hay in the loft. The three children stayed very still and quiet for a second. Morgan looked at both Peter and Harley with huge brown orbs. After a moment Rocket rolled his eyes and looked off in the distance, probably at Nebula. “Well I can’t go and shoot Tony Stark’s kids in the face, can I? Where’s Quill?”

As soon as he rounded the corner, Morgan started giggling and squirming to get out of the hay causing it to slide out from under their feet until they all tumbled down onto the ground, Harley and Morgan giggling and tittering the whole time. They looked at Peter and started laughing anew. He looked down, his shirt was full of hay like an overstuffed scarecrow.

“How far along are you?” Harley snickered. Peter huffed a laugh too.

Tony’s ashes arrived that night. Pepper kept it quiet. She tucked the red silk bag into an old arc reactor Peter had never seen and placed it carefully into her dresser drawer. Peter watched from her bed. It was one of the only quiet spaces in the house around dinner. A bit of sensory overload and fatigue made him silent and sullen that afternoon and as soon as she caught wind she’d corralled Peter into bed with a cup of tea. They kept silent company, and when she was done, she sat in the occasional chair in the corner brushing out her hair while they watched TV. Eventually she started in on her cuticles, then disappeared to retrieve laundry from the dryer.

“May is coming up for the funeral.” She told Peter handing him a freshly laundered hoodie. He pulled it on, it said MIT. Peter felt like he should tear it off immediately. “She’ll be here in the morning. Your apartment is still occupied,” she frowned, “I think you’ll have to stay a little longer.”

“Thanks.” Was all he said, but he accepted a bundle of socks passed to him.

“Are you sleeping okay? I heard Thor is sharing the bed with you.”

“Yeah.” Peter huffed a little. “It’s not so bad. He’s dead asleep most of the time.”

Pepper smiled knowingly and cocked her brows. “At least it’s not Bruce.”

Bruce was still in the hospital and for that Peter was grateful. The sight of Bruce’s burnt arm was enough to send the teen into a panic attack.

Overall, Peter wasn’t so hard done by. After all, there were heroes strewn literally all over the property. Drax, Mantis and Groot slept in closets and hallways, Carol Danvers and Nebula camped in the backyard. Bucky Barnes and Captain America were at an abandoned motel not far up the road, and Sam and Rhodey took over the dining room at night. Harley slept on the couch, and Morgan in her own room was undisturbed. Rocket slept in a bed of clothes in a dresser drawer in Peter’s room, and Quill slept on a burnt mattress on the floor that had been pulled out of the Milano. Valkyrie had returned temporarily to Asgard with the help of Thor wielding Stormbreaker, but Thor stayed behind for, well… Peter had to imagine it was emotional comfort. He was the only other Avenger as pathetic as Peter, the boy thought, watching the huge hulking form curled up on the couch, cups of yoghurt strewn about the coffee table. Thor had been catapulting between emotions since the battle, but mostly he was just tired.

“Can I ask you something?” Peter said about an hour after sitting in the otherwise quiet living room. Thor shrugged, now in one of his morose moods. “How old are you?”

“Fifteen hundred, give or take. The years aren’t as important when you are as old as Asgardians are.”

Peter sat in thought for a while. The house was starting to show signs of life, laughter could be heard outside and in the halls sometimes, he even thought Pepper sounded alright talking to Happy on the phone that day. “Do you do birthdays?”

Thor shrugged. “Sometimes. Every fifty years or so. We had one at my inauguration, although looking back, maybe it wasn’t the right moment to celebrate, as it set my brother on a path of destruction that eventually led to Thanos killing him.” He supined. His nose was stuffed up.

“Oh.” The boy sat a moment longer sensing the sadness wash over the man, but even if he wanted to join Thor’s wallowing, Peter was starting to feel the pricklings of relief swell up under the surface tension of his grief. “We should have a birthday. Tonight. To celebrate.”

“...To celebrate?”

“To celebrate.” It didn’t sound all that convincing to Peter either, but anything was better than this.

They had a birthday. It was cramped. Like, really cramped. The seventeen people in the vicinity of the house were stuffed into the little kitchen, Morgan sat on Thor’s lap. The god of thunder was dressed in a little pink frilly apron. Harley was sticking a ridiculous number of sparklers on the cake in the other room with the help of Rocket and Drax. Bucky and Nebula stood stolidly in the back hall, Carol Danvers stood in the back door. Pepper sat next to Thor, and Quill and Mantis were eating icing off of a spoon. Sam stood in a narrow broom cupboard holding his beer to his chest. Steve Rogers stood behind Thor, a beacon of comfort and resolution in the sea of calamity. Groot sat on another stool playing his video game, and Rhodey sat by Peter on the other side, very much on board with a drink in his hand. “This is great.” He said. “Nice one Parker.”

“Thanks.” Peter croaked. He felt more awake than he had in days. Morgan braided Thor’s beard while they waited, and when the cake came out, they sang Happy Birthday haphazardly while Harley carried the cake. The sparklers burst into a ball of flames as soon as the cake was set on the table. Thor scrunched up his face, “Fiend!” and shot the cake with lightning, strawberry icing exploded in every direction. Pepper laughed first, then Rocket and Drax laughed, Mantis and Quill laughed and Harley, Morgan and Thor laughed, and soon everyone was laughing, and Peter was laughing too.

“That was a good call.” Sam said idling up to him that evening. Peter found solace on the back porch. The lake was beautiful to look at in the night. “Morale was running a little low.”

Peter’s mouth quirked up into a smile. “Thor’s morale was low. I dunno about everyone else.”

“Everyone else too. You just get better at hiding it when you get older.” He tucked his chin. “I know we just celebrated his like thousandth birthday-”

“Fifteen hundred and something-” Peter corrected.

“-But Thor’s not that much older than you are. Maybe a bit. He’s younger than Steve.” Sam said definitively.

“Well everyone’s younger than Steve.”

“Good point.”

This time when Peter went to the snack cupboard in the middle of the night, Nebula and Carol were in the kitchen sitting in relative silence, and Rhodey was reading in the other room.

“Hey.” He waved. Nebula and Carol nodded.

“Is Thor snoring again? I can go punch him.” Carol joked. Peter smiled bashfully.

“It’s all right. I don’t mind.”

“It’s Quill that’s worse.” Nebula supplied. That was probably the first time she’d ever spoken to him, and he nodded guiltily.

“He’s been mumbling in his sleep.”

“About what?”

“Kevin Bacon. He, uh…”

“He was in the movie footloose.” Carol said. Nebula rolled her eyes.

“Of course.”

“Well, I guess if Peter’s up that means it’s bed time.” Carol stood up groggily. “Nice sitting in silence with you.” She chirped to her companion. Nebula nodded. Carol ruffled his hair on the way out.

What remained of the birthday cake sat on the counter so Peter grabbed a fork and took a huge mound. Nebula was looking past him, and when he turned around to follow her line of sight, he saw the picture again, the one of him and Tony.

“You were Stark’s ward.” She stated. Peter didn’t immediately reply, eyes shifting sideways out the far window. “He was the first person to ever be kind to me without expecting anything in return.” She caressed the exposed panel of electronics running from her forehead to her crown. “After the battle on Titan he fixed my head using metal from his own armor. And... he taught me how to play paper football.”

“That’s just how he was.” He mumbled around a mouthful of cake. In the other room, Rhodey was smiling into his book, eavesdropping. He had a new prosthetic exo-support pulled from a backup supply in Tony’s garage.

Still looking at the photo, she continued. “Thanos was my father, and people will shudder at the memory of him for eternity. But he's not the one people will ask about.”

Ears hot, Peter swallowed around the lump ever present in his throat, but there were no tears now. If anything, he was relieved. He shoved another forkful of cake into his mouth and stood up, striding away from the table. From the other room Rhodey piped up. “Oh my god. Was that the most words you’ve ever said?” Nebula raised her middle finger. “It gets worse. Who taught you that?”

She smirked. “You can blame Barton.” Rhodey rolled his eyes.

“Of course. That guy is a douchebag.” It sounded bad, but Rhodey said it warmly and smiled as he returned to his book. Peter swung back around with the platter of cake and set it down in front of Nebula.

“You’re pretty cool.” Then he asked hopefully. “Can I fix your headpiece too?”

They used Tony’s battle armor, the one he’d been wearing when he died. It was piled up in the garage, or at least what could be salvaged. Burnt, cracked, bent and shredded, the sight of it served a visceral reminder of the battle. Until now, no one dared go near it.

It took time for Peter to build up the nerve to touch it, and before he could, Nebula pried a piece off the left arm. She might as well have pried his heart from his chest, but Peter quelled his nerve and set to work, pilfering tools from Tony’s lab like Pepper said he could. By the time the other Avengers rolled around, Nebula had a new head plate, striking gold cut from the last Iron Man ever made. Over the brow it was inscribed, “MK2.”

May arrived bright and early that morning and the first thing she did was hug Peter, then pulled back, then hugged him again. “Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my-”

“May. It’s alright. I’m fine, see?” Peter said, holding out his arms.

May Parker was not one to be fooled, however, and scooped the boy into her arms again. “My baby boy. All grown up and saving the universe.” She swept a tear from her eye and then turned to Pepper, sweeping her up as well. Pepper might have needed it, she sighed deeply.

“Are you holding up okay?”

“As well as expected.” Pepper sniffled pulling away. “It’ll be nice to have another normal person around the house. There are too many manful tears happening here.”

May was introduced to Harley and Morgan, then to the rest of the Avengers. The lot of them and others returning from afar were changing into funeral clothes. Soon the funeral would be over, and that would be it. The Avengers would dissemble, and Peter would be on his own.

During the funeral he held back his tears. It was hardly his first time burying a loved one. He stayed quiet and still, and when it was over, he sat on the dock with Morgan while the adults reminisced about Tony, and about Natasha. “I miss daddy.” Came her little voice from his side.

Peter nodded mutely, swallowing his sadness. The wind over the lake blew their hair back, and Peter rubbed little circles on her back as she sniffled. “Don’t you miss him?” She asked. He nodded again around the lump in his throat. When he couldn’t hold back his tears he wiped his cheeks with the sleeve of his suit. “Your dad was my hero.” Morgan rested her head against him.

“He was your dad too.”

He couldn’t respond to that, he didn’t know how to explain the complexities of their brief relationship to his mentor’s actual blood relative, so he just stayed silent. Maybe in a few years, Morgan would understand that she was Tony’s only child, not him. But then Peter thought back to Pepper Potts in the kitchen at 5am making them a pot of coffee in the dark, and Peter wasn’t so sure.

“He did it for you, Pete. He loved you.”

Shuri took Peter for ice-cream at the diner nearby. They walked in their funeral clothes despite the rain and sleet that started that afternoon, and the ice-cream compounded the cold, but it was fun. “And so I asked them-” She recounted, “why couldn't they unlock my phone. They said it’s company policy. So I took it apart right then and there and manually unbricked it. And guess what?” She laughed, she had ice-cream on her lip and Peter was suddenly struck by how attractive she was.

“What?” He gushed back.

“They banned me from the store.”

Peter laughed while she lamented about getting tossed from a Tek-i-Mobile. By the time they arrived back at the house, covered in freezing mud and rosy cheeked from the wind, he was feeling almost normal.

That night- the last they would spend all together, there was a Mario Kart tournament. Even Pepper clad in pin striped pyjamas joined in the cajoling, Morgan sat in her lap. Shuri, Peter and Harley had the obvious edge, but Rocket was a close competitor. Bets went around. Money changed hands. Then Quill and Thor got into an argument and it ended in a milk gauntlet challenge, at which point Pepper banished them from the house and they threw up milk in the backyard.

“I’m sorry about this.” Peter told Pepper seriously. Somehow, this was his fault. She heaved a little sigh and smiled.

“Believe me, if you’d spent much time with them before, you’d know to expect this.” She paused for a moment and her nose wrinkled as she smiled, just like Morgan. “Tony would have loved this.” And she snapped a picture on her phone.

At that moment, Peter knew he would give anything to have Tony back. What he didn't know was that soon, he would.

#ao3 #read on ao3 #far from home #no way home #spider-man #post-endgame #post-far from home #peter parker #cinnamon roll #wintersoldier #avengers #fixit of sorts #peter parker needs a hug #found family #new to writing so for real leave me feedback #canon divergence #butonlybecauseIdidn'tbeatthetrailer #bucky and peter friendship #avengers need a new home

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emiewritesthings · 4 years

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when we were young - kevin atwater

requested?: yes by anonymous

Could you do an Adam Ruzek or Kevin Atwater imagine where it’s like a flashback to the time him and the reader met and about their relationship and it cuts to their life now?

kevin atwater x fem!reader

a/n: i’m not sure what happened but i kept writing and it came out with this, hope you enjoy. please send me requests :) - emie

masterlist

ten years ago

y/n’s arms were numb as she ran up the stairs to the apartment for the fourth time in a row. her slightly impaired by the boxes that were piled up in her hands, leaving her feet in full control to guide her to the apartment that just so happened to be on the fifth floor.

as she reached the floor, she could already hear her brothers from down the hall. they had barely been in the block for more than an hour and they had already started to bicker, it was in moments like this that y/n wished she had sisters.

“where did you put my baseball bat? i know you have it!” flynn groaned as he searched desperately through the boxes that were labelled according to what room they were for, unfortunately for him ‘weapons’ wasn’t one of them. flynn was only 8 years old, but his fascination with breaking things astounded y/n and pretty much everyone else he met.

“no one cares about that, where is the laptop.” kai shouted back from the other room, not seeming to notice y/n struggling to hold onto the boxes in her arms. knowing she wasn’t going to get any help from anyone in her household, she continued to struggle alone, making sure to avoid her youngest brother fletcher that was running around the apartment like some play area.

“will you two shut up, i’m trying to listen,” and finally there was phoenix, who was holding his phone tightly against his ear as he wandered around the apartment trying to find some sort of signal. y/n dropped the boxes next to the other ones that were beginning to fill up the living room.

“wow, y/n, thank you so much for bringing in all ours things and for paying for this place,” y/n mocked in a deep voice, in what she had deemed her ‘angsty brother’ voice, despite sounding like an idiot. “no problem guys.” she smiled sarcastically, patting flynn on the head as he let out a groan of annoyance, not having taken in a word his sister had said.

y/n was only 18 and yet she had spent the last 6 months of her life in court to get custody of her brothers in order to get them out of foster care. her parents were who knows where, on whatever drug they could find, while drinking whatever they could get their hands on. she knew that she had saved the boys through a life of pain, that she had not had when she was their age, but she would have appreciated a thank you every once in a while.

“so what’s for dinner?” kai called out, finding the laptop that all five of them had to share and had been sharing for the last few years. his body slouched against the couch, eyes not raising to meet his sister’s.

“dude, it’s three o’clock.” she snorted, she had learnt over the years of taking care of her brothers that they seemed to always be hungry, no matter the hour. yet still it amazed her. kai shrugged, the sound of his fingers tapping against the keys echoing throughout the bare apartment. “i guess we could get a pizza tonight, i still have the tips from friday.” she scronged around helplessly.

“pizza!” fletcher yelled as he ran back into the living room and into the arms of his sister, who picked him up with ease. the look of pure happiness on his face, reminded y/n exactly what made her moneyless, tiresome work worth it.

“you know, sometimes i’m sure you are the only one that loves me.” she grinned, as fletch wrapped his small arms around her and squeezed her softly. however the mood came crashing down when she heard a loud crash coming from one of the bedrooms.

“found it!” flynn yelled, as he appeared with the stupid baseball bat that y/n was sure she had thrown out and a wide smile on his face.

the knock on the door came just in time. y/n was busy unpacking her room, having completed everyone elses and the other rooms. her stomach was making sounds that had she been in public would have made her embarrassed.

“i’ve got it!” she yelled, but when she ran out the room no one had even made an effort to peel themselves away from the tv that was playing a rerun of friends. y/n grabbed her purse and pulled open the door. “it’s 15 bucks, right?” she asked, holding the money out, only to find as her eyes rose the three strangers at her door were certainly not the pizza delivery guy.

“ugh, sorry to bother you,” y/n could feel the apple of her cheeks burn as she met the coffee coloured eyes of the tall man that made her feel like she was 2 foot tall. “my name’s kevin atwater i live next door and this is my brother jordan and my sister vinessa- i’m sorry are we interrupting.” the man spoke, a small warm smile pulling on his lips as he looked over the woman’s face. he had been brought up properly, his desire to check her out was pushed down and he kept the friendly smile on his face.

“no, no, of course not,” y/n rambled, turning to look behind her at the four boys that were brainwashed by the small box that rested on an old tv stand. debating what to do she quickly moved out of the way of the door and gestured for them to enter. “come on in, let me introduce you to the boys. i’m y/n y/l/n, it’s nice to meet you guys.”

y/n had only had a couple of friends in her life, when you move from foster home to foster home it was hard to keep in contact. but this was a fresh start, it had to be and it was being offered to her on a silver platter.

“kevin, vinessa, jordan these are my brothers, malakai, phoenix, flynnigan and fletcher.” she introduced, making sure she gave the boys a sharp glare to behaviour while they had guests over. “guys, these are our neighbours, be nice.” she made sure she was looking at flynn who was holding onto his baseball bat like some deranged lunatic, but he flashed his most innocent smile as he looked to their guests.

“how’s it going, dude.” kai was the first one to speak up. standing from his position to shake kevin’s hand. then came flynn who completely ignored kevin as he nodded his head at jordan, who was around the same age as the boy.

“you like breaking things?” he asked, catching kevin and jordan by surprise as y/n quickly pulled flynn away from the boy and towards him.

“he’s joking.” he was not joking, but flynn happily returned to the sofa. y/n soon noticed that they were just standing awkwardly in their living room, knowing that she should probably play host, she pointed towards the kitchen. “you guys want a drink or something?”

“sure.” kevin smiled, his eyes following her as she excused herself and left the room. y/n didn’t like this whole host role, let alone for a 6 foot something god that was getting a first hand look into what a nutcase family he was living next to. the last thing she needed nor wanted was someone calling in CPS and taking them off her again. “uh, i was just wondering if you guys wanted some help.” y/n nearly dropped the cans in her hand, as she turned to face the man that didn’t mean to cause any hand.

“yeah, thanks.” she smiled, steadying her heartbeat for no more than a second before he took a few steps closer and it was off beating again. she couldn’t help it, she had not been with anyone in nearly 7 months. with the stress of the custody and the time taken to work, she didn’t really have time for a sex life. so one look at the man had her palms sweating like a creep.

“so where did you move from?” kevin asked. small talk, i can do small talk, y/n thought as she looked at kevin who was helping to find enough cups for everyone in the apartment.

“uh we were actually a few blocks over in the south.” she replied, not wanting to tell him the entire story, after all they had met moments ago. kevin hummed, noticing the way her shoulders tensed. anxiety was radiating off her, but he found it cute. “you always lived here?”

“yeah, pretty much,” the silence resumed and y/n didn’t know what else to say. maybe small talk wasn’t her thing. who was she kidding, she was killing this conversation and not in a good way. thankfully it was cut short as there was yet another knock on the door. y/n cursed, trying to put down the cups she had balanced in her hands, but kevin placed his hand upon her shoulder, stopping her. “i got it.” he offered, walking away and towards the front door.

y/n could feel her skin tingling, but she shook it off as she followed kevin out of the room.

“thanks, bro.” kevin called out before the door slammed shut. y/n put the drinks onto the coffee table, making sure that kevin’s siblings got first dibs before the boys got their hands on them. kevin appeared the his hands holding the rest of the cups and the pizza. “here you go, we should probably get going and let you guys eat-.”

“stay,” y/n said all too quickly, causing all eyes to look her way. realising she sounded way to desperate, her eyes widened as she tried to fix her words. “i mean why don’t you guys join us for dinner, i’m sure the boys don’t mind sharing, right guys?” she looked at her brothers who didn’t look impressed, but one stern look and they were all nodding.

“of course.” they cheered in unison. kevin placed the box on the table, and looked towards his own siblings that seemed to be eyeing up the pizza just a little too much to say no.

“that sounds great.” kevin smiled, admiring kind eyes that seemed to warm his body to an unusual heat. y/n’s body began to relax as she walked over and grabbed her own slice, knowing that when being surrounded by brothers it was always best to dive in before it all disappeared.

as time went on, y/n began to learn more about kevin and his family. the kids were playing some kind of game in another room, whilst y/n and kevin were sat on the sofa trying to get to know each other. a very tired fletcher asleep in y/n’s arms as she rocked him slowly.

“wait so you are a cop?” she asked astounded, she had never met a real life cop. in fact she had been raised to run away from them. when one showed up at her door it was either to bring back her pissed parents or to remove her and her brothers from the home. nothing good came out of the police, until now anyways.

“training to be one, yes. i’m only 19.” he chuckled, taking a short sip on the beer they had found in y/n’s fridge.

“don’t tell flynn that, he will most likely try and steal your gun or ask you questions that no 8 year old should ask.” she giggled, her brother had seen more than most which left him asking questions that received concerned but mostly confused looks. she called him their little psychopath, but underneath all that he was her little teddy bear that she had literally taken care of for all his life.

“i’ll be keeping my eye out for him, don’t worry.” he promised and he meant it. the pair were both legal guardians of their siblings while they were still teenagers themselves, they had to look out for one another, they were the only ones that understood. “what about you, what do you do?”

“i’m a waitress until 1 and then i work at the bowling alley until 7 after that i serve cocktails to rich white collars at the bar in the city.” she explained, even the explanation made her take a long and painful sip of her beer. the exhaustion had never been so agonising in her life. trying to juggle looking after her family and providing for them proved to be much more difficult than first thought, but they were family, she couldn’t give up on them.

“holy shit,” kevin breathed out, noticing the way her eyes saddened into a darker colour. a shadow of tears rising in her eyes, but quickly disappearing as she reminded herself that she didn’t have time to cry. she was the strong one. “okay then, what do you want to be doing? if you could be anything in this world what would you be?” he asked, bringing a smile out onto her face.

“i want to be a nurse,” she smiled, completely zoning out of their conversation. “i want to help people, i want to care for people, i mean i have been doing it for my entire life why not make money from it?” she giggled, as she was brought out of her trance by someone placing their hand on her’s. her eyes found themselves locked on kevin’s.

“nurse y/n, huh?” kevin smiled, lightening the mood. however as he did, the small child in the arms of his sister seemed to stir. y/n excused herself, as she stood up and walked in the direction of fletcher’s room. just as she did, the door to the room the kids were in swung open revealing a very intrigued flynn.

“hey, can i talk to you for a second?” kevin nearly missed the fact that the child was indeed talking to him. looking around and realising no one else was in the room he nodded, patting the space besides him which flynn soon took. “i think my sister likes you, dude.” flynn spoke, not even a hint of guilt in his voice as he looked towards the man that the family had literally known for a total of three hours and a half. kevin tried to hide his smile as he nodded.

“i like your sister, she’s a nice girl.”

“i don’t think you get what i’m trying to say,” for an 8 year old, he really didn’t take any shit. his look was stern as he kept his eye contact with kevin strong, only making the small child look 10 times more intimidating. “you can’t do that thing that mom and dad always do, or what harvey did, or jacob or callum. y/n needs someone that loves her and stands by her, because y/n takes care of everyone but no one takes care of y/n.” kevin could feel his chest ache as the words came out of the boy’s mouth, the hard look in his eyes softening revealing the small child that was hidden beneath the gore loving child.

“she’s a good person, huh.” he gestured towards the woman who could just be seen through the crack in the door tucking in fletcher and kissing his head softly. her hands gripping some book and the words falling off her tongue softly. both flynn and kevin sharing the same small smile.

“the best.” flynn confirmed, before patting him on the back and returning to the room. for a moment, kevin had to figure out if he had just imagined that conversation. the 8 year old spoke like a teenager, making it hard to believe that he was so young.

kevin had no desire to break his vow he had made that night and he never did.

---

present

“you know i miss the days i could actually fit into my clothes,” y/n sighed as she leaned back in the office chair looking over to hailey, who let out a giggle. hailey was the only member of the unit that y/n had found in the office, and just so happened to be her best friend. y/n’s hand rested on her rather large stomach that only kept growing, even at 8 months.

“and yet you look stunning, how do you do it?” haley asked, making y/n scoff. she looked a hot mess. she had been on maternity leave for far too long in an apartment alone until someone came home. she had been still working as a nurse until kevin convinced her that it was time to take some time off, which left her showing up the office more and more just so she could tell herself that she had done something somewhat interesting with her day.

“give it a month i will have stains i won’t be able to identify down every item of clothing and hair that i haven’t washed in weeks because i spend all my freetime sleeping.” she recalled the times she was younger and had spent sleepless nights trying to sooth fletch and flynn when they were babies. she had gone to school with far too many vomit stain to count, which only motivated the bitchy girls to point it out daily.

the sound of footsteps hitting the stairs made both of the women turning around. an immediate smile taking over y/n’s face when she noticed the tall man that shared the same grin on his face. his eyes a wild mix of excitement and affection as he quickened his pace to embrace the woman that just managed to push herself off the chair.

“hey, baby,” he greeted, pressing his lips against her’s, before he placed his hand on the bump. “what’s up little man?” he grinned, as the baby began to kick against his touch. kevin was very proud of the fact that he had the effect on the little baby.

“you never know he could be a she.” she argued back, remembering that they had specifically decided not to know the gender of the baby. kevin rolled his eyes jokingly, as he gave her an incredulous look.

“you have 4 brothers, your dad had 10 and your grandfather had 8 and you are seriously trying to tell me that the baby could be a girl.” kevin snorted, earning a light thwack from the woman that he had loved for the past decade. her eyes full of the same light as the day they had met, but y/n no longer kept her burdons locked up. she wasn’t alone anymore, she would never be alone again.

“smart a-.” she tried to speak but a sudden pain raked through her body like a wave. her hand gripped onto kevin’s as she shut her eyes, keeping her breathing calm. “holy shit.” she breathed out, catching the attention of the whole unit.

“what the- what’s happening?” kevin stuttered, watching his wife in so much pain made his heart hurt. but the not knowing made everything ten times worse. hailey walked up behind him, her hand placed on the shoulder of her best friend, as her eyes flickered to the floor. “what is it?”

“i think the baby’s coming.” y/n and hailey spoke in unison, making the soon to be father gasp for air. adam and jay were the first to react, patting kevin on the back congratulating him while hailey ran around looking for her keys.

“i’m gonna be a dad,” kevin muttered slowly, as if the last 8 months and 2 weeks had failed to indicate such a thing. “i’m gonna be a dad!” he began to get more excited until he noticed y/n still slouched over in pain, hailey rubbing her back slowly talking her through it. “oh shit, i should probably do something, what should i do?” no one had seen kevin so jittery, his eyes flicking from each person in the room before hailey chucked him the keys.

“we should probably start with the hospital, big guy.”

“oh yeah, right.” kevin agreed, taking over rubbing y/n’s back as he helped guide her down the stairs and out of the district. hailey and jay following along, ready to welcome their soon to be god child to the world. “let’s go have a baby.” kevin sang, as y/n looked up with a painful smile.

“i love you, you know.”

“i love you more.”

after hours and hours of kevin nervously rambling about how excited and nervous he was and hours and hours of y/n telling kevin to shut up. y/n finally began to question how her mother had gone through such a pain 5 times, however when she got to held the small child in the her arms any pain and discomfort was washed away.

“is it safe to come in?” y/n had nearly fallen to sleep when she heard the soft voice call into the room. her eyes flickered over to the door and a large smile pulled across her face and kevin’s when they noticed the familiar faces. fletcher, kai, phoenix, vinessa and jordan all stood in the door way. vinessa was clutching a balloon, while the boys were all holding onto some kind of gift for the baby.

“is the rumour true?” kai asked, as their eyes flicked over to the small baby that was resting on y/n’s chest. y/n snorted, her eyes meeting kevin who was still high up on cloud nine despite having been in the same room for the last 30 hours.

“meet evelyn vinessa atwater,” she grinned, her fingers tracing over the small boned human that she was now responsible for along with her husband. she made sure she was looking at vinessa who seemed more than stoked to be part of her niece’s name, being the first one to take steps forward to get a closer look. y/n picked up the baby and passed her over to her aunt, smiling as she noticed the love already in vinessa’s eyes.

“we have someone else that you might want to see,” kai called catching her attention as she noticed the laptop being placed on her lap. her eyes widening as she noticed the black screen morph into the face of someone she missed.

“i heard i have i officially been named the cool uncle,” y/n let out a soft sob as for the first time in the last year she saw the face of her brother. his body clothed out in camouflage print and a badge sewn into the material clearly reading ‘US ARMY’. “hey, big sis.” he greeted her. flynn had enlisted to join the army the moment he graduated from high school, much to the dismay of his sister.

it wasn’t that y/n wasn’t proud of her brother. if you had asked her 10 years ago what she thought her brother would be doing, the army would not have even passed her mind. but she knew that she couldn’t protect him when he was out in the middle east fighting for their country.

“hate to tell you, dude, but that title has already been claimed.” phoenix challenged, as he appeared besides y/n with baby evelyn in his arms. flynn didn’t hesitate to flip his older brother off, who seemed to just laugh it off.

“you doing alright out there?” y/n asked, pushing herself up slightly but hissing at the pain that lingered throughout her body. it seemed pushing a living creature out of your body wasn’t as easy as the movies made it look. her eye’s were slightly weeping as she looked at her brother who was not the same boy that she had diapered, he was a full fledged man now. she couldn’t have been prouder.

“i will be when i get home and can teach my niece how to annoy her dad.” at the mention of him, kevin appeared in front of the camera, giving his brother in law a long stare that caused the whole room to crack up. “you know i expect the next kid to be named after me, flynnigan junior sounds cool, right?” kevin and y/n looked at each other with wide eyes, mentally telling each other that that was one of the worst ideas they had heard. hearing her brother chuckle over the line, she felt 18 again. “listen i have to go, but i will call again i promise.” y/n didn’t want to say goodbye, but she knew she had to.

“love you.” she smiled, a couple tears trickling down her face.

“love you too.” and just like that the call ended and y/n was met with her reflection. closing the laptop, she noticed that the only one’s in the room were her, kev and evelyn. looking towards kevin she didn’t have to say much, as her eyes said it all. her fingers reaching out to her daughter’s, that effortly wrapped around one.

“thank you,” y/n blurted out, looking up at kevin with nothing but love. “i don’t think i ever said thank you for saving my life all those years ago. i didn’t know it till later, but you pulled me out of the deep end before i even knew i was drowning. you changed my life, kevin atwater.”

“i love you, mrs atwater.”

“i love you too.”

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dragonlearnstowrite · 4 years

Text

Caught in Her Eyes (Part 3)

Thank you for continuing to follow Anna Marie Lee’s story. This part was originally intended as a short story for the 1000 word plot exercise of Week 6. I ended up going way over the word limit, but who cares? I’m with the result either way. Besides, I already have another story in mind that hopefully can fit that 1000 word limit.

I really had fun writing this part, it was a bit difficult at the end as I had written 2 versions of how this part would end. I really liked how both versions sounded, and was hard pressed to choose just one. In the end, I went with the one I felt was more natural. I hope you have fun reading this 3rd part as much as I had writing it.

*Photo by Alexis Go

The summer sun rose high in the sky as Anna Marie stepped into the empty commercial space situated along Portobello Road. She slid her sunglasses towards the top of her head as her eyes took in the empty space before her. She walked towards the center, and slowly turned, envisioning all the possibilities.

With wide eyes and a smile on her face, she gazed at her partner and said, “This place is perfect!”...

... She explained how she imagines the bar to be situated at the center of the wall adjacent to the door. Instead of menus plastered on the wall behind the bar, she sees a painting made by local artists sandwiched between rows of shelves filled with a variety of coffee mugs, coffee blends, tea leaves, perhaps even some spices, cookies and coffee related books! The painting could then be sold to any customer who takes an interest. Across the bar, she would be a fake fireplace surrounded by loves eats and barrel chairs where customers could lounge around with books or simply chat with one another. On either side of the painted fireplace would be shelves filled with sculptures, pictures and books of all kinds. She might even add a few boards of chess and other quiet games as well.

It was perfect! She looked at the man standing right next to her and smiled. Three years ago, she never would’ve imagined she’d be here envisioning her future bookstore cafe. It was after all just three years ago that she’d met him, the man who’d pushed her towards turning her dreams into reality. She sipped her Starbucks coffee and closed her eyes as the memory of three months ago flowed into her mind.

-------

Anna Marie walked through the doors of Angels and Devils and was greeted by a handsome blonde devil. “Hey Anna Marie! haven’t seen you in a while! How have you been?”

“Hey Stephan! Never thought I’d ever see the day where our little angel would one day dress as the devil!” she teased.

“What choice do I have? It’s the women’s turn to be angels tonight.” Stephan complained with a wink. “ I see you’ve brought company tonight.”

“This is Terrence, he was part of the tour I had just finished. Terrence, meet Stephan, a childhood friend.”

Stephan guided them to a corner booth, then left them with two copies of the menu. A couple minutes later, he came back with a tall glass of Kahlua, on the house, and asked if they were ready to order.

Surprised by the unusual gesture, Anna Marie asked Stephan for the reason behind it. “James says it's your birthday, so your favorite drink is on him tonight.” he explained.

“Jamie’s here tonight?! Tell him I said hi and thank you.”

“No need. I think he’ll be coming over here sometime later. You can give him your thanks then. So are you ready to order yet?”

“Yes! I think I’ll get the grilled salmon belly with chips on the side. Terrence? How about you?”

Terrence glanced at the menu, nodded and said, “I’ll have one Fuller’s London Pride with and a basket buffalo wings please.”

“Fish for the lady and wings for the guy. Got it! I’ll be back with your orders in 10 to 15 minutes.”

“If I may ask, who is James? Or Jamie?” Terrence asked with curious eyes.

“Jamie’s my little brother. He’s actually a wine sommelier teaching WSET lectures at Leiths School of Food and Wine. He often comes here to help at the bar whenever the pub’s short staffed.”

“I see.”

The following minutes were then filled with talks about Anna Marie’s family, friends, and childhood memories. Naturally, Terrence also shared a multitude of stories from his time in Hong Kong. Anna Marie laughed her head off when he shared the story about the time he was taunting a female classmate, it ended with him getting kicked in the crotch! By the time their dinner had arrived some 10 minutes later, she’d already seen him laugh, frown, scowl and sneeze! It was so fun watching the different emotions cross his face.

Halfway through their delicious meal, Anna Marie had been surprised yet again. Terrence wasn’t just a foreign tourist as she had initially thought, but rather a naturalized British Citizen! He had been living in London for the past 8 years as a financial consultant to one of the biggest insurance firms in England. No wonder he suggested the cab ride, he already knew how far Portebello road was from Westfield Shopping Centre! The sly fox!

Minutes after swallowing her last bite of the salmon, Anna Marie was showered with yet another pleasant surprise. Jamie came over, bringing with him a candle topped Tiramisu cup, and several angels and devils singing Happy Birthday behind him. Tears welled up in her eyes as the crowd came forward to hug her one by one, wishing her a happy birthday and to visit more often. Moments later the crowd dispersed with a few throwing flirtatious glances Terrence’s way. Jamie stayed for a few more minutes reminding her of mom’s upcoming birthday as well as next week’s get together before going back to work at the bar.

“Your brother seemed reluctant to leave your side Anna Marie.” Terrence said as he took a sip of his ale while looking at Jamie’s retreating back.

Anna Marie waved her hand as she said, “Pshaw! Don’t worry about him. He’s just a tad bit overprotective of me. He’s always like that towards men he doesn’t know.”

“In that case, I’d best invite him to a drink sometime, get acquainted.”

“Whatever for?”

Terrence leaned forward, touched Anna Marie’s right hand with his left, and gazed straight into her two toned eyes as he said, “Spending tonight with you has been the most fun I’ve had in weeks Anna Marie. Your colorful and fun-loving attitude makes me want to take you out again, get to know you some more.” He looked down at their hands, slid his under hers and gently held her hand in place. He looked into her eyes and, “Won’t you Anna Marie? Won’t you have dinner with me again sometime this week?”

Anna Marie was shocked speechless. She sat there, silently gazing into his bright, hazel brown eyes as she tried to absorb, to decipher the meaning behind his words. He wanted to take her out to dinner? Whatever for? For business? For work? No, she doesn’t think it's for work. He said he wanted to get to know her better. Why? Was he attracted to her? Did he intend to court her? Pursue her? Or did he just want to get inside her pants? Her mind was flooded with such thoughts that she forgot to breathe for a second or two. It wasn’t until Terrence had called her name that her mind magically calmed down, and she remembered to breathe again.

She closed her eyes and breathed five calming breaths, opened her eyes and faced Terrence’s gaze head on. Anna Marie didn’t want to misunderstand his intentions by assuming things, so she asked, “Why would you want to take me out?”

“I find you very attractive Anna Marie. I’d like to take you out on romantic dates, if you’ll let me.”

Anna Marie blushed. Terrence’s sudden confession of attraction was heady. She’d never been approached so strongly before so she didn’t know how to respond. How she wished her brother could help her right now. She studied his face as she looked for an answer. She is currently single, and without a lover. He is fairly handsome, and as a financial consultant, might be fairly rich too. But he could also be mean, and dictative, or perhaps even dangerous… no she doesn’t really think he’s dangerous. She wouldn’t have hopped into that cab had she truly thought he was. So should she say yes?

With her mind made up, Anna Marie held the hand holding hers and said, “One dinner date. Friday night. And then we’ll see what happens next.”

Terrence lifted her hand, brought her fingers to his lips and smiled. “Deal!”

-------

The sound of her name being called brought Anna Marie back to the present. Slowly she opened her eyes and smiled at Terrence, “You seemed lost in thought. What were you thinking about?”

“Hmm… nothing much. I was just remembering that first night at Angels and Devils.”

“Oh… I remember that night. I approached you after the tour wanting to thank you, and then somehow ended up joining you at the pub.”

“And then, rather than persuade me to take the translating job, like I thought you would, you ended up asking me out instead!”

They both laughed at the memory, Anna Marie looked up at the man who changed her life, “Do you ever wonder what would’ve happened had I not agreed to that dinner invitation?”

Terrence stared at the ceiling with a pensive look, “Hmmm… not really.” He wrapped his arms around her waist and smiled, “But I know what I would’ve done had you not said yes that night.”

“What’s that?”

Terrence gave her one of his most devilishly charming smiles and said, “I would’ve pestered you endlessly until you said yes!”

Anna Marie laughed at his answer, how very Terrence! His persistence was one of the things that she liked about him. “It’s a good thing I said yes then. Otherwise I probably wouldn’t be standing here right now, beginning my journey to fulfilling my dream of finally opening a coffee shop where people don’t just come to drink, instead they come to relax, read books, and bond with people over cups of coffee and tea.”

“And it's a good thing you did! Otherwise I wouldn’t be standing here hugging my very pregnant wife!”

She smiled at the quiet reminder. Having to start both her dream family and cafe at the same time, Anna Marie felt blissfully content. She couldn’t have asked for a better beginning to a new chapter in her life. “Thank you for joining that tour and lingering after everyone else had left.”

Terrence lifted her chin and gazed lovingly into her blue and brown eyes, “Thank you for being born with those wonderfully rare eyes of yours. They’re what captured me in the first place.”

“Thank you for being caught by my eyes.”

He leaned forward, further closing the space between them whispering, “I’m happy to be … caught in your eyes...” and then his lips closed over Anna Marie’s silencing any further talks.

-------

Author’s note: Thank you for reading Anna Marie’s story all the way till the end!

“Caught in Her Eyes” is the first story I’ve ever written that feels complete and not end at a cliffhanger. I had enjoyed writing Anna Marie Lee’s story and see it unfold. And I hope you enjoyed it too.

Please comment your thoughts on the story below, and I’ll be sure to read them.

#short story #romance #dream come true #eyes #caught in her eyes #polyglot #heterochromia #angels and devils

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riskeith · 3 years

Note

hi babe, hope you slept well.. ♥️

answering on the phone is just *takes screenshots* *opens tumblr app* *switch between screenshots and answering* do you also put on my messages on the laptop and answering with your phone usually, because that’s what i do lmao sjshdks. thank god for technology.

(I LOVE BEING CALLED BRO.. i believe that i would’ve been a dudebro in another life tbh..) there is? i’m not super immersed in the fandom actually so i had no idea, do you have any examples? ofc only if you wanna talk about it i know these topics can sometimes be annoying to think about. also you’re right! ‘don’t like don’t read’ is the law. follow it. i can’t believe how some people have the nerve to talk about what other people do creatively... yikes

you should if you ever find yourself not knowing what to read! i think their fics were some of my first in the fandom and they set the bar so high hehe. dude i love how oikawa just wants to see kageyama burn it’s so funny..... he’s so cocky about it while kageyama’s just his moody self. speaking of; one of my fave fics of yours is the swapping jerseys one!

WTF 😭 BABY POOLS AND POOL FLOATIES..... razor please come back to us please. sidenote but do you also think that his powers are 5 star level? hes soo powerful it’s so odd how he’s only 4 star haha... or maybe it’s just me being biased.

YEAH! THE SAVING SCENE IS SO AHHHHH. god especially if they have dialogue while person a is hurting and person b just spills all their feelings and becomes so erratic and scared and person a is like holy shit you love me.... and after everything is okay there’s still some awkwardness and tension and aaa.... 💢💔

OOO. sadly the ps5 is always out of stock it’s crazy how fast it sold out. but i mean it makes sense it’s arguably the most popular console so.. hopefully they restock soon. last of us is such a fun game! and the second part is ~gay~ which is always a plus. i’m not sure which memes you mean? tell me 👁 HAHA that makes sense actually omg... lumine and aether reunion won’t happen until like two years if the updates keep coming the way they are (STOP THAT WOULD ACTUALLY BE SO FUNNY.... like hello if you want to unlock the rest of the story you either gacha $pin for it or you imagine it yourself love ♥️😗) talking about this makes me wonder what the other worlds might look like....

your followers are just here to witness us planning our co-op date sjsjdkdjskz. speaking of,,, hehe. i have some fantastic news. i’m at ar level 11 right now and co-op unlocks at level 16... i might just reach that tomorrow (today for you) so i’m just saying hehehehehehehehehehehe.... 😏♥️

BOWL CUT. my cutie little baby. also mullet? sounds nice omg you will probably rock that look... 😳 i’m a non mullet supporter but if cluna has a mullet then call me a yeehaw mullet lover i suppose. can’t believe my wife is a cowboy. OMG YEAH IT MUST FEEL SO NICE your head went bzz bzz. how long did it take for them to accept it? and yeah god ikr some people take hair so seriously which is fair but also i’ve never understood it... like it grows out..? wow you really went from a ballet girl to punk rock style huh. i feel like you’re the both sides of the ‘she was a punk she did ballet’ meme.

memo fic is a jealous fic? mmm smells good. I FIGURED jshdjdkhsjs slow songs are just not your forte, huh? rip. langst is the best yet worst thing ever tbh. and YEAH I DO we’re truly 🤝 ok literally mood sometimes it’s just nice to talk about how much you love a character through another character in a fic yk? so what if this 2k fic contains 1k words about how beautiful oikawa looks? it’s what iwa feels <3 (YOU’RE LEARNING!!!!!!! THATS SO EXCITING!! i guess you just have to drive me around, huh?)

oh i’m in love i’m with that fic my girl. and i knew about that spoiler it’s kind of hard to miss it since it’s everywhere skdhdkdhdk... god, that sounds so good thank you for sharing it. pining iwaizumi hajime >>>>>>>> the air i need to exist 🥺

THE DAY IS SO SOON CLUNA, it’s literally here soooo soon holy shit i just can’t wait. i played for almost 6 hours today in a row like an idiot and now i never wanna see hilichurls again in my life but hey, one step closer to my baby. prepare yourself.. 😏

AWWW i had a feeling you’d be a tea person. but omg tea effects your sleep? how late is too late for you to drink it? what’s your favorite flavors? 👁 and i’m addicted to both shdkdhsks. i say addicted bc i literally have 6 cups of tea per day easily and like.. 1 or 2 coffee cups per day. it’s really bad but i can’t stop so.. 🙇🏽‍♀️

COLLEGE BOYFIES CLUNA. COLLEGE BOYFIES WITH DIP DYE HAIR. imagine them doing each other’s make up and nails before going to concerts together. imagine xiao in euphoria kind of make up. holy shit. here’s something for your overwhelmed heart jsdhjshska. xiaoven soulmates girl, no doubt about it. THE EDIT THE EDIT THE EDIT!!!! they just look so beautiful. we need scenes with them like Asap. the edit is based on a fic... notes down.

can’t wait to see your screenshots. super excited!!

xo, m.a. (i almost wrote my name down in a haste shshskdjdk... although you’ll find it out soon...)

hiya!! i slept alright~ ahaha

:o that’s smart! but no i don’t LOL whether i’m on my phone or my laptop i just continuously scroll up and down fhdskjfkhsdf i think that’s why i come close to missing some paragraphs some times oops. yay for the ~wonders of technology~

(AIGHT NICE AHAHHA fhsdkjfsh does that mean you’re a bit of a tomboy?) actually coincidentally i came across this thread: https://twitter.com/maxatsuomi/status/1350145589296685057 which gives you an idea lmao (also some things on there i wasn’t even aware of wtf) EXACTLY??? it’s even worse when non content creators try to come for content creators like?????????/ um you’re getting all this food for FREE and yet?????? lmfao the nerve of some people

i def will!! FKJSHFDSKJ yeah that do be their dynamic lolol. and thank you!! i too think i snapped on that one 😩😩 glad others agree ahahah

i actually haven’t really seen him in combat... and when we could trial him i was too busy trying to pass the quests to focus on how he fought fhdkfhsdkfjshf but i do think his abilities are cool!! he have wolf above head 🥺

YEAHHH BOYEEEEEEEEEEE god that reminds me of a scene from a drarry fic (What We Pretend We Can't See wink wonk)

oh damn!! hope they restock soon for your sake~ yissss ive watched a playthrough and omg lev.... my Son. i don’t think i can find the memes again but it was just about the bugs like how if you throw a grenade on the highway everyone will run out of their cars like a flashmob or something hfskfhsdjfkds. (LMAOOOOO) there’s actually a trailer with the other worlds! https://youtu.be/TAlKhARUcoY (it has spoilers tho supposedly lol. none we understand rn at least)

hdsfkhjs. omg you absolute legend!!!! but i also hope that you’re taking care of yourself and prioritising the important things too fhsfhdksdhf. but i am excited hehehehehe

AHHAAHKFHDSKJFSD pls... once i saw someone with an actual proper mullet on the bus and i was like “ew... keith would look like this irl?” FJSDHKFSAHKDASHDFSDJFKJFDSHFKJS. but what can i say i got influenced by all the kpop bois 😔 and hmmm idk? i think my dad didn’t care too much but ik my mum did/does fhsfskfsdfhkf so who knows lollllllllllllllllllllllllllllll. IT REALLY DOES GROW OUT LMAO LIKE. fhkshkfsdkj my cousin called me a rockstar when she saw it LOL so you’re prob right 🤪

yeah slow songs really just. aren’t LMAO ‘behind this mask of mine’ was based on a slow bts song and i put it in the playlist i had for it (bc obviously) but i wanted to skip it every time hfksjdhfskjdfhskfdkfhkslfhadksfjsdjhfkashkfjsdh. EXACTLY!!!!!!!!!! you are so correct. (hehehe i was gonna say that too that you don’t need to drive bc it’ll take you around 😏 LMAO)

fhkdsj thank!! legit pining iwa.......... more like pining ME mayhaps i just be self projecting 🤪🤪

lolol dw i can fight the hilichurls for you 😩 also who’s your fave enemy to fight! i used to like fighting the treasure hoarders most but the hilichurls are cute.. FHSKJDHFSDFKJSD plus i need their fucking masks my god why are their drop rates so shit hfsdhjfks

i’m not too sure actually? i’ve never been up early enough to test it but i like drinking tea like after dinner... which is the problem AHAHA. hmm well i like matcha a lot LOL but also chai? and then like black tea.... all the other ones too... i used to drink some fruity ones which were nice but we have a lot of the like basic chinese ones at home too and i enjoy those as well lol. wbu?? omg.... m.a........... dfhksdfkjhfkjshfksjd that’s a lot!!!!!!! do you even need to drink water then HKDSJFHKSDFHDKDSHFJKSDH

omg............. ive never seen euphoria LOL but ............. omg ...................... i cannot process thoughts rn.....

xoxo!! c.r. (you mean bc we’ll be playing co-op? you don’t have to if you’re uncomfy fhdskjf my genshin name was literally ‘aether’ up until yesterday FHDFHSDKFSDFJSHFKSDF)

#marriage anon #wowclunaanswers #long post

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beesloosewithcanon · 5 years

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Fictober2019

Thank you, nonny for the prompt submission!

I’ll admit - I was half tempted to just write smut for this. BUT - the next part to my Close to You series will be preeeetty smutty. So have a Korrasami Bikini Barista AU scene, instead! (I live in a USA State where there are drive-through coffee stands where the baristas wear string bikinis. It’s a thing I didn’t know existed until I moved here almost three years ago now.) It’s over 4k words. I’ve put a “keep reading” line so I won’t bog down your feed.

If you’re interested in seeing a writing drabble from me for a specific f/f pairing, look at this post and let me know which you’d like to see! (I currently write in Dragon Age, Mass Effect, and Avatar Legend of Korra; I’d be open to also delve into the following fandoms – Avatar the Last Airbender, Overwatch, Stardew Valley, to name a few).

Prompt #8 – “Can you stay?”

Fanfiction – Avatar: Legend of Korra

Pairing – Korra & Asami

***

Asami pulled off her sweater in a fluid motion, tossing it towards her discarded leggings. She looked at the window and then back to Korra, a plea of urgency radiated from her bright green eyes bore straight into Korra’s soul.

“Can you stay?” she pleaded, emphasized by the way she bit the corner of her lip. “Please?”

Korra swallowed hard and her hand missed the handle of her trusty hand truck, causing her to flail slightly before regaining her balance. She’d already dropped off her delivery and would normally bid the barista a good day and be on her way to her next delivery stop. Korra both loved and hated this particular stop - it was Perky’s Beans, the only bikini barista stand on her delivery route. She loved it because the deliveries were often small and quick, allowing her to keep her day moving; she hated it because it made her feel like a cringy pervert.

The word bikini wasn’t the right term, as the “uniform” the women had to wear were little more than a string and three minuscule triangles of fabric, one over either nipple and the third covering the apex between their legs. So she usually made her delivery as quick as possible so she didn’t ogle the women working; they had enough of that from the men coming through the drive-through. They didn’t need it from the supposed professional who delivered the milk products.

Lately, the same barista, Asami, was the one working when Korra came by for her twice-weekly delivery. Every morning, Asami greeted her with a warm smile and was always still clothed when Korra arrived, usually in loose off the shoulder sweaters and leggings, as she didn’t don her uniform until the stand opened at 6 AM. Korra usually got there around 5:45 and rarely was there longer than ten minutes, considering the delivery itself usually fit on one trip with her hand truck. But she always took the time to actually unload the products and take the empty crates so the baristas didn’t have to worry about storing them in the small confines of the coffee stand.

Most of the other baristas simply ignored her while she worked which kept the deliveries quick. Asami, on the other hand, always struck up a conversation with her while she was readying the stand to open. It went from being one of her most dreaded stops to her favorite as she got to know Asami over their short conversations, and would try to get there earlier and earlier every time so she could have more time to talk with the woman. She knew it wasn’t professional, but there was just something about her that Korra couldn’t ignore.

“Please? This customer always gives me the creeps,” Asami continued to plea.

Korra glanced out the window and saw a large red truck with a suspension rig that made it almost as tall as her delivery truck. She’d seen the truck here every morning as she was leaving. In fact, Korra couldn’t recall ever seeing a different vehicle to be the first to queue up at the stand in the morning.

“Y-yeah,” Korra stammered. “Of course I’ll hang out. I’m running early on my route anyway and have some time to spare,” she fibbed. She was actually already running late, considering her co-worker Bolin had called out for the second day in a row and she had been given extra deliveries to help compensate for his route being unattended to yesterday. She was only on her fourth stop of the morning when she should have been on her sixth. But she couldn’t find it in herself to say no to this woman.

“Oh, thank you!” the barista said as she moved forward and took one of Korra’s hands in hers, squeezing tightly as she smiled. The movement brought her breasts together and Korra made a distinct point to look up at her face and not at her barely covered body.

Really, the strings left nothing to the imagination.

The barista’s smile lingered as she let go. She moved away, pulling a hair tie from her wrist and tied her hair up in a high ponytail, situating herself in front of a small mirror in the back of the coffee stand near where Korra stood.

What Korra liked about this particular barista was that she stayed clothed as long as possible before she opened the stall. It wasn’t that Korra was a prude, but being around women in barely anything this early in the morning always made her feel like she was invading their privacy. Especially with how close she had to be in the small confines of the coffee stand to get her deliveries put away. She wanted to be a professional and treat the women in the coffee stand like she did her other, fully clothed delivery customers, but she was always averting her eyes and feeling uncomfortable and had learned to simply complete this particular stop as quickly as possible.

But this barista was different; she’d never actually seen her in her work uniform before and it honestly was more than Korra felt she could handle. The woman had supple curves that paired with her somewhat athletic build. The woman was toned, but Korra was unsure what sport she played to gain her physique, but it was a physique that made her hot under her collar.

She was glad Asami was focused on getting ready for the day instead of trying to keep talking to her at that moment, as Korra knew she would have fumbled over every syllable that came out of her mouth. She knew she needed to look away. The barista had asked her to stay because a customer was a giant creep. And here she was, staring, unmoving while her mind raced with how goddamn attractive Asami was.

It definitely wasn’t the first time she’d found her attractive. Not by a long shot. Korra had been attracted to her the first time she’d seen her in leggings, a holey sweater, and a messy bun. Her smile was what got her - the genuine way her mouth moved as her teeth shone whenever she saw Korra come into the small stand with her delivery. The way her voice sounded when she asked how she was doing or what was new. She was an effortless kind of beauty. Korra was convinced the woman could have been in front of her in stained pajamas and no makeup and she would still be utterly flustered by her mere presence.

She bit her lips between her teeth and moved forward. If she was going to be a buffer between Asami and the creepy customer, then she needed to at least look like she belonged in the space. So she moved and knelt in front of the milk fridge and loaded some milk jugs back into the crates she’d just uploaded them from.

She then heard the drive-through window open but decidedly stayed staring at the jugs of milk in front of her. If she looked up, all she would see was Asami’s ass with literally nothing covering it. She gulped and looked sideways - she was too curious not to look.

Asami had put on heels, too, and stood leaning slightly towards the window of the drive-through. The position put her legs, her impressively sculpted calves, thighs, and rear on perfect display.

“G’morning, Shin. Same as usual?” Asami asked brightly.

The tone took Korra by surprise and she forced herself to look back at what she was doing. Asami’s chipper tone sounded fake and so unnaturally forced that she was surprised that the customer didn’t pick up on it.

“Oh, you know it, babycakes.”

Korra gagged to herself. The man’s voice practically dripped with slime.

“Coming right up!” Asami said and turned around, spinning on the ball of her impressive heels. Korra chanced a look upward and Asami looked like she was withholding an eye-roll.

“Just let me know if you need me to pop up,” Korra whispered.

Asami nodded and mouthed thank you before she reached for a cup and then poured ice into it. Korra watched curiously as she pretended to fuss with the contents in the refrigerator while Asami made what looked like an energy drink mixer. Korra eyed the cup as Asami worked.

Why the hell did this guy get up at the crack of dawn every morning to go to a coffee stand for an energy drink? There were cheaper options for caffeine in the morning. But when Korra looked and saw the man’s expression as he watched Asami work, it was clear as day - he came to ogle the women working. His eyes roved shamelessly up and down her body, not even noticing Korra herself. He kept licking his bottom lip and nodding to himself as if he was approving of something.

Korra had the immediate urge to punch him. But she ground her teeth and looked back at her full crates of milk.

“Y’know what would make my day, baby doll?” he asked.

Korra glanced up and saw Asami subtly clench her fist as she reached for a syrup. “What’s that, Shin?”

“If you let me take a picture of you.”

“Shin, you know the rules,” Asami said, her tone fakely flirtatious and sweet but Korra heard past it to hear the annoyance. She then brought a slender finger up to a sign on the window as she mixed the drink with her other hand. “No pictures.”

“Awe, c’mon sweetcheeks. Just for me? I am your favorite customer,” the man said as leaned more against his arm that was perched on his door as he offered his card.

Korra did her best not to fume. She wanted to help but wasn’t sure how to. She watched as Asami grabbed his card and moved to the register to ring him out, Shin now looking at her chest.

But then an idea shot through her head. She just hoped that Asami would play along.

“Aw,” she said as she stood, lifting a crate of milk in either hand as she faced the window, doing everything she could to show off her arm muscles. Each crate held four one-gallon jugs of milk, which roughly calculated to be about 35 pounds in each hand. Korra did reps of 50-pound bicep curls at the gym and lifting the crates was effortless. She was thankful for the polo that she had to wear as a part of her uniform, as they were fitted to her arms and made it easier to show off her muscles. “I thought I was your favorite customer?” she said in what she hoped to be a flirty pouty voice. Acting wasn’t something she was good at. But she was willing to give it a whirl to keep this guy from making Asami feel even more uncomfortable.

Without missing a beat, Asami looked over her shoulder and smiled. “Babe, you know you are,” she said flirtatiously. “And always my first customer of the day,” she added, her voice heady and suggestive. Korra didn’t hear any sound of annoyance, but she did see the thankful look on her face change to one of surprise when she fully looked at Korra, her eyes lingering on her arms.

Korra might have imagined it, but she was sure that Asami bit her lip. But she definitely imagined it. And even if she hadn’t, she was probably just playing it up for Shin. Especially with how her tone fluctuated when she said first customer of the day - the sexual innuendo wasn’t lost on Korra, nor apparently Shin when Korra glanced at him and he flattened his back to his car seat.

Korra offered the barista a wink and blew her a kiss, trying to play up her impromptu role before making eye contact with the sleazy man in the window. He looked shocked and leaned further away from the window, his eyes looking anywhere but Asami. She then smiled to herself and bent down and began returning the milk to the refrigerator.

“Oh,” Shin said from the takeaway window, clearing his throat. “Didn’t know you was taken, pretty lady.”

Asami handed him out his card and his drink. “I’ve told you a dozen times that I’m taken,” she said flatly, not trying to maintain her mandatory flirtatious attitude anymore.

“Well, some girls lie about it, y’know? Rather pretend they have a boyfriend than test the waters with a guy who's interested.”

Asami shrugged. “I have no idea why women would lie about such a trivial thing,” Asami said, playing up the innocent naivete in her tone but Korra read the bitter sarcasm loud and clear. Shin just gave her an awkward smile and a nod, raising his cup to her before revving his engine and driving off.

“Well he’s grade A gross,” Korra said as she stood from the milk fridge.

Asami turned around and made direct eye contact with Korra. “I know, right?” She shook her head, the tips of her dark black hair brushing across her shoulders. “If I wasn’t working and had to be nice to him, I would have handled him a long time ago. But here… I have to be miss perky peppy flirtatious airhead.” Asami articulated the last four words with a tilt to her head to either side before she stopped and rolled her eyes.

Korra frowned, leaning her hip against the counter of the coffee bar and crossing her arms loosely over her stomach. She looked out the window and saw that there weren’t any other cars queuing up yet.

“They why work here?” she asked, genuinely curious what a woman like Asami was doing here.

“Because I have to pay for my engineering degree somehow.” She shrugged, setting an empty coffee cup down as she looked through her syrups.

Korra’s frown deepened when Asami wouldn’t look at her as she focused on finding a specific syrup, making her worried that she’d offended her. But before she could begin to articulate her apology, Asami continued.

“Despite how gross some of the people who come through here are,” Asami continued as she pulled two different syrups out and pumped them into the cup. “I make good money doing it. And when it’s slow I can work on my homework. The work is mindless enough that it doesn't interfere with my mental energy that I need for school. So, it works for now.” She then flashed a quick smile towards Korra. “Besides, not everyone who comes through here is all that bad. I have one regular that I really actually quite like.”

“That totally makes sense,” Korra said. “The, uh, money for school bit, I mean.”

Shit. There she went, stammering like an idiot. Of course, there was some cute guy who came through here that she liked. Or maybe she was referring to her boyfriend.

Asami pivoted, her heels scuffing quietly on the wooden floors. She took a few steps, walking directly towards Korra. Her throat felt stuck. Despite being here for the last few minutes while she worked, she had tried ignored the fact that Asami was practically naked in front of her. But now that she was actively walking towards her, she got the full view of how her hips swayed when she walked and how each curve of her body lead into the next. It was impossible not to watch.

The woman was a goddess. And Korra was a mere peasant, unworthy of looking upon her.

Korra’s collar began to feel uncomfortable when Asami reached out and placed one of her hands gently on Korra’s hip while the other one moved past her. “I need to get in here, babe,” she teased with a wink as she then opened the door to the milk fridge, letting it bump into Korra’s backside.

Korra finally swallowed but felt the heat of her collar spread up and over her cheeks. “Yeah, yeah of course. Sorry!” and she practically hopped to the side so Asami could work.

Asami laughed, which caused a whole new sensation to sweep over Korra’s senses. The barista’s laugh was divine and washed over her body in a wave that felt like she’d actually reached out and touched her again.

She retrieved a jug of milk and poured some into a frothing pitcher and returned the jug to the fridge. “Sorry about the whole babe thing, by the way,” Asami said as she closed the door to the fridge and looked up to meet Korra’s eyes again. “I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable by calling you that and insinuating that we were dating.”

Korra shook her head a little too vigorously. “No worries here! You can use me all you need as your pretend girlfriend if it’ll get customers like him to leave you alone.”

Asami gave Korra a sly smile as she packed the grounds of an espresso shot. “And being perceived as gay doesn’t bother you?” she asked passively as she continued to work.

Korra shook her head, letting her arms drop as she shrugged. “Nah. I mean, I am, so it doesn't bug me one bit.”

“You are?” Asami asked, looking over her shoulder as she moved to heat the milk in the frothing pitcher.

Korra nodded. “I’m bisexual.”

Asami smiled and went to say something, but stopped because the sound of the steam wand heating the milk overtook the small space, making carrying on their conversation impossible. Korra simply watched her work, unsure if she should just start to leave. But something compelled her to stay put.

Turning off the steamer wand, Asami went about putting the drink together. She was meticulous in her craft, taking more time to make this particular drink than she had for Shin. She even finished it with creating latte art, making the foam look like a heart as it mixed with the espresso before she added what looked like a finishing touch of caramel drizzle on top.

“I’ll keep that in mind,” Asami said, an edge of flirtation to her voice as she reached for a cardboard sleeve and a pen, writing on it as she spoke. “I mean, telling my regular cringy customers that I’m dating the delivery man will hopefully keep them on their toes and quit asking for pictures.”

“Ha,” Korra sounded with a smile. “Feel free to embellish all you like. I’m just the humble deliverer of jugs.” Korra bowed, extending one hand out as she placed the other flat on her stomach.

They then looked at each other and broke into a loud fit of laughter at Korra’s intentionally poor choice words.

Despite still being overwhelmed by how little Asami was wearing, she didn’t notice it as much as they continued to laugh together. Their banter felt natural. They’d built up a good conversational foundation from their many mornings of deliveries while Asami was fully clothed that Korra realized that the conversations itself hadn’t changed with the removal of clothing. The only thing that changed was Korra’s growing attraction to the woman with each encounter. But, she knew it wasn’t professional to ask her out. And besides, she had just told her that she was bisexual. Usually, if a girl was interested in women, she would say “me too” or say she was a lesbian. But Asami didn’t do that. And she had mentioned to Shin that she’d been saying she was taken for a while. She most definitely had a boyfriend. So friendly banter and one sided attraction was perfectly okay with Korra. It would fade someday.

Asami shook her head, laughter still in her eyes as she placed the sleeve on the drink she made and handed it to Korra with a genuine smile. “Here.”

“What’s this?” Korra asked as she reached out and received the drink, the hot cup making her somewhat sweaty palm feel more uncomfortable.

“I call it special delivery,” Asami teased with a wink. “It’s a toffee hazelnut latte with an extra shot and a tiny drizzle of caramel.”

Korra smiled. She’d only ordered the drink once and it had been about two weeks ago. It had been a miserable rainy day and dreadfully cold out and she was having a hard morning staying warm. Asami had offered to make her a drink before she opened the stand to help her warm up and that had been what she’d asked for. And it had been downright delicious. Despite seeming to do the job to simply put herself through school, Asami was damn good at her job.

“It’s your drink of choice, right?” Asami asked, her lips pursing slightly as she looked down at Korra, their height difference exaggerated by her pencil-thin and tall heels.

“Hell yeah, it is! Thank you,” she said sincerely before she reached for her wallet. “What do I owe you for it?”

Asami shook her head and took a step forward, putting a hand on Korra’s forearm as she continued to hold her gaze. “Nothing. It’s my way of saying thank you for helping me with Shin. You didn’t have to, but I really appreciate it.”

Korra smiled, hoping that Asami couldn’t see the blush she knew was forming on her cheeks. “A-anytime,” she said. Asami’s touch on her bare skin was overwhelming. It felt hot and cold at the same time and it sent shivers through Korra’s entire body and she didn’t want the sensation to end. “I’m happy to help. And, uh, free coffee is just a side bonus.” She smiled nervously.

Asami hand gripped slightly tighter on Korra’s forearm and it wasn’t Korra’s imagination this time - she bit the corner of her lip, too. It looked like she was about to say something, but then a small bell chimed in the small space, causing Asami to look at the takeaway window.

“Shit, my morning rush is about to start. I’ve gotta get to it.”

“Yeah,” she said as she thumbed over her shoulder with her free hand. “I’ve got people in dire need of milk and should probably head out, too,” Korra joked back, trying to ignore the flipping sensation in her stomach from the sustained contact from Asami’s hand.

The barista smiled at her, her hand squeezing one more time before releasing her arm. “See you Thursday?”

“Absolutely! Bright and early as always.”

“Good. Have a fabulous rest of your day, okay?” Asami said.

Korra watched her for a second. She wasn’t imagining it. There was a blush on her face. It was there. There was no denying it. Maybe she was blushing because Korra was blushing? And now she was staring at her, which probably made it worse.

Korra gave an uncharacteristically curt nod. “Yeah yeah. You too! Thanks again for the caffeine!” she said as she held up the latte to show her appreciation before she moved back, making a grab for her hand truck that she’d already loaded with the haul of empty crates.

Asami gave her a small wave before she turned on her impressively tall heels and greeted a customer at the window, leaning forward and putting her body on display; Korra was sure that the view of her leaning out the window was marvelous, but she got to see her toned legs and ass again and knew she had the better view.

Korra swallowed hard and maneuvered her hand truck with one hand, forcing herself to look away and not be a giant, sleazy creeper. The last thing she wanted was for Asami to think she was anything like Shin or her other unruly cringy customers.

She opened the cab of the truck to put her coffee down in the cup holder before hopping back out to reload her truck with the empty crates and hand truck. When she hopped back into her cab, she looked at the drink and smiled before grabbing it and taking a cautious sip.

The drink was utter perfection. It had just the right temperature, had the ideal amount of foam and flavoring that mingled with the espresso shots that were perfectly pulled and not at all bitter, like most coffee shops pulled them. Korra let out a satisfied sigh and leaned into her seat. The truck was still running - the perk to having a refrigerated load - and moved to put the latte back in her cup holder to shift gears to drive away and go about her day when something caught her eye.

Asami’s handwriting was on the side of her latte’s sleeve. Korra looked down at it curiously and blinked. She remembered watching Asami write on it, but was apparently too distracted to remember to look at it in her presence. She smiled and picked up the cup again to see what it said.

From one bisexual to another - what’s a girl gotta do to take you on a date? was scrawled on the cardboard sleeve in pristine handwriting, accompanied by Asami’s name, a small heart, and a phone number.

She didn’t care that she was blushing this time. She was in the privacy of her delivery truck and her smile overtook her face. She was sure it was spread from ear to ear. She unbuckled her seatbelt with the idea of going back in to talk to Asami, but when she looked up she saw that the coffee stand had three cars deep on either side, she remained seated in her cab. She was too busy to talk about a potential date.

Still grinning to herself, she fished her personal phone out of her uniformed cargo shorts and entered Asami’s number. From one bisexual to another, how does dinner tonight sound? she texted hastily while she bit her bottom lip. Seeing the note from Asami now was probably better. If she’d known that Asami’s flirtations were serious while she was standing practically naked in front of her, spirits knew what Korra would do. She smiled to herself as she shoved her phone back into her pocket, looking back to the coffee stand. She knew exactly what she would do - she would have been a bumbling nervous mess. She normally was so confident in her flirting, even being called overconfident by a date or two. But there was something about Asami that made her a silly nervous ball of butterflies.

And she was perfectly okay with admitting that she liked it.

She put the truck in drive and started to pull out of the small parking lot that held the popular coffee stand. Despite already being behind on her scheduled deliveries for the day, she was confident that she would be able to get off work at a reasonable hour. If she was quick and deliberate, she’d get off with minimal over-time and would have plenty of time to get ready for and enjoy whatever date they planned for the night. If Asami was available tonight, that was.

Spirits, she hoped she was.

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aquaminwrites · 5 years

Text

Skin Deep: 03

Pairing: Yoongi x Tattoo Artist!Reader (M/F) Genre: Friends to lovers, slow burn. Eventual smut. Rating: 18+ Warnings: None Word Count: 5.5K

A/N: Thank you to everyone who has read the first two instalments of this story! Feedback is always appreciated, I would love to hear what you think so far!

1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 (links removed due to tumblr issue)

Yoongi can’t sit still. He’s seated at a table by the window of the coffee shop, one a few blocks away from your studio. He’s fidgeting with whatever he can get his hands on—the sugar and sweetener packets in the tiny bowl beside the stir sticks, the hem of his black turtle neck that somehow managed to trap stray pieces of white lint, and his phone, which he can’t stop picking up and putting back down.

He tugs at his leather jacket for the hundredth time, wondering if keeping it on would be better, or if taking it off would make him look a little more casual. Yoongi is just about to take it off when he spots you entering the cafe, wearing an oversized maroon sweater that hangs off one shoulder, hair down, and a pair of jeans that look like they’ve been painted onto your legs.

He gulps. And decides to keep the jacket on.

You peer around the cafe before spotting him. You send him a small wave before pointing at the menu above the counter, signalling that you’re going to quickly order your drink before joining him. He nods in return and focuses back on his own cup, already half drained. His leg bounces under the table at an irregular beat that he can’t control.

After a few minutes, you make your way over and sit across from him at the table. He notices the way you approach with a slight edge of caution, as if you don’t really know what to say to him.

You settle on, “Hi.”

Yoongi notices the slight bounce of your knee under the table as well.

“Hi,” he replies quietly, offering up the tiniest of smiles. You return it, looking down at your mug as the steam rises past the ceramic. It’s quiet for a beat before Yoongi can’t take it anymore. “Look,” he begins. “I’m really sorry for how I acted the other day. It wasn’t fair.”

You nod, your thumb caressing the rim of the cup. You’re not looking at him, not yet, as you gather your thoughts.

“Do you know why it wasn’t fair?” You ask softly. Yoongi doesn’t respond, just waits for you to continue. You finally lift your head, gaze bearing into his. “You not only disrespected me as a person, but you disrespected me as an artist. I don’t give a shit about what people say about my appearance. I got over that a long time ago. But my art is important to me, and what I do is important to me. And you had no right to belittle me in that way.”

“I know, I understand,” Yoongi responds earnestly. “I just…” He swallows. “You make me nervous.”

You fold your arms over your chest, tilting your head to the side. “I make you nervous?” You repeat, a little stunned. “Why?”

Yoongi scratches at the back of his head, then tugs lightly on the top of his ear. It’s a habit he developed as a child whenever he was being reprimanded that he never seemed to be able to shake.

“I’ve never met anyone like you before,” he admits. “And not just because you’re a tattoo artist or because you have tattoos. You just…I don’t know. You seem so sure of yourself, and so confident all the time. And I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but when I get nervous, I tend to put my foot in my mouth a lot.”

The corner of your lips twitch up into a smile. “I hadn’t.”

“Ha,” he deadpans, and you each take sips of your coffee. “But honestly. I’m just…a little more old-fashioned when it comes to stuff like this, you know?”

“I know, and I get it,” you tell him, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear. The gesture exposes a little more of the peony on your neck, and Yoongi’s eyes trace over it briefly before settling back on your face. “I’m not asking you to change your mind. I’m just asking that you be ten percent less judgmental when it comes to the actual human beings underneath the ink.”

“I’m going to try,” he promises. “I can be kind of dense about this shit sometimes, so it won’t happen overnight. But I’m going to try, I really will.”

You shoot him a thankful smile. “You know, you say you’re scared of people with tattoos, that they’re thugs and criminals. But if I’m being honest, I’m more afraid of people in suits and slicked back hair, the ones that control big companies and entire countries. They’re the ones who do damage on a national—and international—scale.”

Yoongi raises an eyebrow with a grin. “Are you trying to tell me that you’re an anarchist or something?”

“Not an anarchist,” you hum. “Just critical of the people who claim to be in charge.”

Yoongi huffs out a laugh, a tiny croaky noise that’s barely audible, though his shoulders shake slightly. You send him a strange look, tilting your head to the side in a silent question. Amusement glints in your eyes, and he says, “I’m just realizing now that I don’t really know anything about you.”

Your smile widens, revealing rows of perfect, white teeth. “Would you like to?”

He quirks a brow. “What do you mean?”

You pull out your phone, tapping away until you show him an article on the screen. It reads Deep Questions to Ask A New Friend.

You lower your voice and grin. “Do you want to play a game?”

Yoongi can’t help but roll his eyes. “Alright, big nerd. Noted.”

“Hey!” You reach over and lightly smack his arm. “Come on, Mr. Music Producer. Indulge me. You might be surprised, because I want to get to know you, too.”

Yoongi lets out a snort, but tries to cover it up with a cough. It doesn’t go unnoticed by you, who raises an eyebrow at him, almost like a challenge. “Why don’t we just play Truth or Dare, then?” He’s joking, but the glint in your eyes tells him that you’re about two seconds away from taking him up on that offer. So instead, he dials back and says, “Deep questions, then. Okay. Ask away.”

“Alright,” you clap, a smile spreading across your face and lighting up your eyes. “I’ll ask, then you answer. And then I’ll give my answer after.”

Yoongi nods. “Rules seem pretty simple.”

You clear your throat and read out the first question. “What is your idea of a perfect day?”

Yoongi opens his mouth to respond, then debates if he should tell you the truth, or something that makes him seem edgy or exciting. His internal debate lasts maybe ten whole seconds—he’s already wearing his leather jacket, so maybe that would take care of the ‘edginess’ factor he was worried about earlier—before he settles on the truth. He figures that you’d appreciate it more.

“Honestly,” he sheepishly scratches at the back of his head, tugging on his ear gently. “One where I could stay inside and work on music. Without distractions. And maybe a nap or two thrown in there for good measure.”

“Ah, classic workaholic,” you affirm. “I’m like that too, don’t worry. I definitely prefer staying in than going out. Bars and stuff are okay, but clubs are—”

“Way too loud,” Yoongi agrees. “Too many people.”

“How are you supposed to hear anyone talk!” You exclaim, tossing your hands in the air for dramatic effect. “I mean, good for the people that want to dance and get wild, but I have too many lower back problems and I’m too awkward for clubbing. Plus, I can’t dance.”

“So…” Yoongi takes a sip from his coffee, sounding bemused and also just the tiniest bit hopeful. “Next time we hang out, you want to go clubbing, is that what you’re saying?”

You shoot him a playful glare. “Ha, ha,” you tease. “Very funny. Who knew that Mr. Serious could joke? And let’s just get through the rest of these questions first, before you get ahead of yourself and assume we’re going to hang out again.”

Yoongi straightens in his seat, prepared for the next one. Your tone is light and joking, maybe even a hint of flirtatiousness intermixed, but he still doesn’t want to screw anything up. He’s also pretty sure he’s imagining the flirtatious part, too.

You read the next question aloud. “When was the last time you cried?”

He has to pause to think. Yoongi isn’t good at emotions, processing them or reading them on other people. He also doesn’t cry very often—chalk it up to toxic masculinity or just his general aloofness when it comes to that part of his brain. But the emotion he feels more strongly when he’s upset is anger, not sadness.

“It’s been a while,” he admits. “Maybe…two or three months ago?”

You gape at him. “That long?”

He shrugs, eyes scanning over your face nervously. “I mean, yeah. Why, when did you cry last?”

Your face falls as you carefully fold your hands in your lap and look anywhere but him. In a quiet voice, you admit, “Last week. After I got home from the bar.”

Yoongi feels his heart shattering into a thousand pieces, each shard sinking to the pit of his stomach and haemorrhaging along the way. “Y/N, I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean—”

“No, no, it’s okay,” you brush past it. “We talked about it already, it’s fine. I didn’t mean to get back into all that again, that wasn’t my intention. I’m not good at emotional stuff, if I’m being honest. I was in therapy for a while, and my therapist told me that I need to express my emotions more. But that…” You shake your head, forcing a smile back on your face. “It doesn’t matter. Next question…”

The two of you go back and forth for the better part of two hours as you go through the list. Some of them are morbid, asking about life after death and the idea of reincarnation, and some are a little more lighthearted, like your weirdest habit and fondest childhood memory.

Yoongi finds himself sinking into the conversation, losing track of time as he leans forward on his elbows. He is completely engrossed in you, hanging off every word you say. He’s never met someone who seems so sure of themselves, so willing to be open and honest without much apprehension. And yet, he senses trepidation still, masked so carefully under the façade of self-assurance that he probably wouldn’t have been able to spot it if the two of you hadn’t been delving into such difficult topics.

“Here’s an interesting question,” You say, scrolling down on your phone. Yoongi raises an eyebrow as he sips his now lukewarm coffee, but you continue. “How did you fall in love for the first time?”

He nearly chokes, sputtering as he attempts to bring the air back into his lungs. “W-what kind of question is that?”

You pretend to act noncommittal, but he can tell that you are rapt with attention. “Just a question.”

“I…”

Yoongi isn’t sure how to answer, if he’s being honest. He was never good with his emotions growing up, and a lot of that translated into a stunted ability to have romantic relationships. He’s been with his fair share of girls, but none of them ever stuck around. They were mostly good for a night, enough to scratch an itch. Maybe one or two of them made him think that a steady relationship was possible, but there hasn’t been anyone he’s wanted to try it out with before.

“I’ve never been in love,” he confesses.

Your face softens into something somewhat sad. “Really? Never?”

“No,” Yoongi shakes his head. “I mean, it sounds nice. And maybe one day I will be. But…no. Never felt that way about anyone before.”

You let out a derisive laugh. For a second, Yoongi thinks you’re laughing at him, but when he glances up he sees that you’re staring absentmindedly out the window. “Probably better off that way,” you admit quietly. “Easier than dealing with heartbreak.”

Yoongi suddenly feels really awkward, unsure of what to do. So he just sits in silence with you for a beat longer, as your eyes grow more and more distant. He sees the hurt etched in your features, and he longs to take it away. To soothe it with a balm, to make sure you never get that look in your eyes again. It’s a foreign feeling that he tries to suppress. He hates how you shrink into your seat, how your shoulders round inward at the memories of the past.

Still, he has to ask. “I take it you’ve been in love, then?”

“Yeah,” you respond, barely above a whisper. He notices the rasp in your voice, how it seems thick like you’re holding back tears. “Once.” You see that he’s eyeing you with caution, looking at you how everyone else does when they find out. You try to divert it by adding, “It’s not all bad, though, you know? Love is beautiful. I’m glad I got to experience it at least once.”

You sigh, tugging at the ends of your hair.

“Sorry for being a bummer. I didn’t mean to put a damper on things. And before you ask, I’m fine, I promise. I meant it, love is beautiful. I hope you get to experience it one day, Yoongi.”

He hesitates, but decides to be bold and ask anyway. “How will I know if I’m in love?”

You suddenly look nostalgic, playing with your fingers a little. “Trust me. You’ll just know. One day it’ll hit you and you won’t be able to imagine who you were before you met them. It’s like falling asleep—slowly, and then all at once.”

Yoongi nods, settling back into the quiet that has made itself comfortable between the two of you. He notices that you’re glancing back at him every few seconds, like you have something to say on the tip of your tongue but don’t know exactly how to phrase it.

“Can I ask you something?”

Yoongi is surprised. “Haven’t you been asking me things all afternoon?”

You swat at him genially and then quietly ask, “Why were you so mean to me at the bar that night?”

When Yoongi doesn’t answer immediately, you keep going.

“We’ve been talking for a while now, and I actually think you’re really nice. A little guarded, but you’re not a bad person. So why did you come at me like what the other week when were at the bar?”

“I…” He begins, but everything he comes up with in his head sounds like a shitty excuse. He filters through the reasoning in his mind, sorting through the muck of that night to try and reach some sort of conclusion that won’t have you throwing your coffee in his face and walking away. “I can be an asshole when I drink,” Yoongi confesses. “And…I don’t know. We’d already gotten off on the wrong foot, and I was in a shitty mood that day to begin with, and then Hoseok—”

He screws his mouth shut before he can say something incriminating.

You look at Yoongi skeptically. “Hoseok? What does this have to do with him?”

“Nothing.” Except he and Jungkook are both suspicious that I might possible have the teensy, tiniest crush on you. Which is still unproven.

“Really?” You repeat, arms crossed over your chest. “Nothing?”

“Hobi can just be a lot,” Yoongi lies. “He was just doing a lot that day, and I was in a bad mood. And the drinking didn’t help. I’m really sorry, I didn’t mean to be such an ass, I swear. I have a bad habit of fucking things up. And…” His voice gets quieter, as he gets more shy. “I don’t want to fuck things up with you.”

You smile at him gratefully. “At least you’re able to apologize, yeah? I think that’s a good thing. And for the record, I’m sorry too.”

Yoongi can’t help the way his eyebrows fly up into his fringe. Of all the things you could have said, an apology was not what he was expecting. “You’re sorry? What for?”

“I didn’t mean to belittle you like that in front of your friends,” You explain. “I goaded you. And then I kind of…made my point, did a mic drop, threw down double what the bill would be and left.” Sighing, you add, “Jungkook was supposed to have paid that bill. The runt still owes me drinks.”

“If it’s any consolation, he thinks you’re his queen now. That move might have gained you at least one worshipper if you ever decide to start a cult or something.”

You laugh, shaking your head. “Sweet kid. But honestly, it was a power move, and I shouldn’t have done it. I should have actually tried to have a conversation with you instead of making you feel like an idiot, especially in front of your friends. It was wrong of me, and I’m sorry.”

Yoongi is stunned. He sits there, gaping like a fish out of water for the umpteenth time today, before he closes it and holds out his hand for you to shake.

“Let’s start over, huh? I’m Min Yoongi, music producer, lamb skewer aficionado, professional napper, and whiskey enthusiast.”

You bite your lip to hold back your grin before taking his hand in yours. The skin of his palm is warm, but not clammy, and his large grip envelopes your hand as you shake it firmly.

“I’m Y/N, tattoo artist, plant mom, bad dancer, and working my way up to becoming a professional napper.”

Yoongi beams at you, his gummy smile making an appearance that you can’t help but find endearing. “We already have so much in common.”

You still haven’t let go of his hand. “Yeah, we do.”

You swear for a second you can feel his thumb gently running across the ridges of your knuckles, but before you can really process it, he’s withdrawing and shifting in his seat as if he’s about to stand.

“Hey,” he asks, nodding his head to the door. “Do you wanna get out of here?

You rise to your feet, gathering your purse. “Where do you have in mind?”

After a little wandering, the two of you find yourselves closer to the downtown core. Pedestrians and cars bustles around you as the start of rush hour begins to descend upon the city, and you can’t help but feel thankful that as the cold ebbs away, days grow longer and the sun decides to grace you with its presence for a few hours more.

“We’re here,” Yoongi declares, pointing to a bright fluorescent sign that reads HopeWorld Dance Studio. “Hoseok usually teaches classes in the early afternoon, but he does his own thing after work once the students clear out,” he rambles. “And he’s working on something pretty fun right now for an upcoming showcase. I texted him earlier to see if we could drop by. You seemed interested when Hobi mentioned that he was a dancer, so I just figured—”

You turn to look up at Yoongi, beaming from ear to ear. “Thank you.”

The two of you enter the studio, greeted by the receptionist. He’s seated behind the front desk, tapping away at the computer when he hears the bell on the door chime as it opens. His hair, dyed a light strawberry blond, is pushed back away from his forehead, and he glances up as you walk in. His full lips spread into a wide smile, his eyes turning into crescent moons. It’s so infectious, you can’t help but smile back.

“Yoongi-hyung!” He cheers, rising to his feet and rounding the counter to give Yoongi a hug. He’s shorter than him, just barely, but you can see by the way he moves that underneath his loose t-shirt is a solid, toned dancer’s body. “Hobi-hyung said you would come by! And you must be Y/N,” he greets, turning to you to envelope you in a hug.

Must be a dancer thing, you muse to yourself.

“I’m Jimin,” he introduces, his voice melodic and light. You instantly feel a sort of unabashed affection for the boy, almost akin to how you feel when introduced to a new puppy. “I work the desk while Hobi teaches the classes, but then after hours we mostly mess around and practice.”

“That sounds fun,” you grin. “We’re not interrupting, are we? I don’t want to bother Hoseok if he’s in the middle of teaching a class.”

“He just wrapped up, actually,” Jimin notes, glancing at his watch. “Last class ended about fifteen minutes ago. My guess is that he’s sorting out his music and stretching. Jungkookie is back there too, he was helping with the junior hip hop class today. I just finished closing, follow me!”

The lobby of the studio itself reminds you almost of the way your shop is set up. The front desk has different pamphlets for different types of dance classes ranging from hip hop, jazz, contemporary, and street dance. There is a wall behind the desk that has a splashy mural painted on it with an airplane hovering over a melting cartoon landscape. Bursts of bright colours swim across your vision as you admire the tiny details—the peace signs, tiny plants, a ladder than leads to nowhere. It’s quirky and bright, and is a perfect reflection of Hoseok’s personality.

To the left of the front is a small retail area with silk-screened t-shirts with the HopeWorld logo across the front in varying colours, as well as some enamel pins and HopeWorld baseball hats.

Beyond the wall is a hallway that leads to change rooms—there are three separate ones from what you can see, one for men, one for women, and an all-genders one that makes you smile. There’s a frosted glass door that leads to the actual studio space that seems decently soundproofed, and is confirmed when Jimin pulls open the door and loud EDM assaults your ears.

The room itself is quite large, one wall being entirely composed of mirrors. The caramel-coloured hardwood floor is a little scuffed and has tape marks in certain areas, no doubt to mark off the dancers’ positions for larger choreographed numbers. The walls are white, and a water cooler is placed in the corner, where a yawning Jungkook is fetching himself a drink.

Hoseok sees the three of you in the mirror’s reflection as he stretches his quads, his smile rivalling the sun.

“Y/N! Yoongi-hyung!” He greets enthusiastically, rising to his full height. “Welcome to HopeWorld!”

“Hoseok, your studio is amazing,” you marvel, rushing over to give him a hug. “It’s really gorgeous. Remind me to buy a shirt before I go.”

Hoseok tuts and squeezes you tight. Yoongi tries his best not to scowl, and also reminds himself that he was the one who brought you here. “First off, call me Hobi. Second, you can just grab a shirt, you don’t have to pay. I don’t charge friends and family for merchandise.”

“Hoseok—”

“Hobi,” he corrects.

“Hobi,” you relent with a smile and a shake of your head. “I can’t, that’s not right. I’ll pay, I really don’t mind.”

“Oh,” Jungkook saunters over, wearing a thin white t-shirt, baggy sweats and Timberland boots. His hair is disheveled and pushed away from his forehead, and you think to yourself that if he was maybe five years older, you would consider it less weird to find him so objectively handsome. “You mean like how you didn’t make me pay for my tattoo?”

You open your mouth to protest when Jungkook wraps his arms around you in a bear hug and lifts you clear off the floor. You yelp in surprise and crane your neck over to Yoongi, silently pleading for help. He just shrugs, looking amused, his hands stuffed into the pockets of his leather jacket.

“Okay, okay, we get it, you’re strong,” you wheeze, tapping on his arm weakly. “Let me down before I puke all over you.”

Jungkook sets you down and you straighten out your sweater that had ridden up slightly when the maknae picked you up. Yoongi tries his hardest not to let his eyes linger on the lines of the tattoo on your back that dip just below the waist of your jeans.

“Did you come to watch us dance?” Jungkook asks excitedly as Hoseok scrolls through the music on his phone. “We have a showcase coming up this summer at the performing arts centre uptown with some other dance companies in the city. You should definitely come!”

“I would love to,” you beam as Jimin plops on the ground to stretch out his legs.

“Y/N-noona, do you dance?” Jimin asks innocently, his eyelashes batting as you peer at him suspiciously.

You take a subconscious step closer to Yoongi, caution lacing your tone. “You don’t have to call me noona. And no…why do you ask?”

Jimin shrugs, his infectious smile looking more mischievous than ever. “Would you ever want to learn? I teach here too, part-time, if you ever want a private lesson.”

“Jimin,” Yoongi warns, shooting the younger man a glare that he blatantly ignores.

“Okay, okay,” Hoseok pipes up, having settled on a song. “Let’s just go for a little while longer today. I’m pretty beat. Let’s just run through the choreo a few more times, okay? Yoongi-hyung, Y/N, you can have a seat if you want, we have folding chairs over there by the water cooler.”

Yoongi politely tells you to wait there as he goes to get chairs for the two of you, while Hoseok, Jimin and Jungkook enter their starting formation. The music swells, some melodic hip-hop song you’ve never heard before. They get into their starting poses as you and Yoongi take a seat. He may or may not have positioned the chairs so that they are flush to each other, your knee nearly grazing his as you both sit down.

And then they start to dance.

You’d heard from Junghyun that Jungkook was a great dancer—the elder Jeon had humble-bragged enough about his younger sibling when he’d gotten into a prestigious dance program in high school, but seeing him and the others in their element is something truly awe-inspiring.

Hoseok moves like water, fluid as he dances in perfect step with his two friends. He winks at you in the mirror as he hits an eight-count that involves some heavy hip thrusting, and you might have swooned if you were any weaker of a woman. The three of them switch positions every so often so that each of them can have a moment in the spotlight, and you can’t help but notice how perfectly in sync they are with one another. Jimin’s movements are smooth and have almost an emotional weight to them, and you can’t help but wonder if he studied contemporary dance.

“They’re good, huh?” Yoongi’s voice drifts into your ear as he leans in to whisper to you.

You turn to face him, and he’s closer than you expect. But you don’t pull away. “They’re incredible,” you breathe, unable to stop yourself from beaming ear to ear. “Thank you for bringing me here.”

Yoongi nudges your shoulder with a grin in reply and the two of you go back to watching your friends finesse their way through their routine. Once the music stops, you bounce up onto your feet to give them a standing ovation.

“That was so amazing!” You can’t help but gush as the three boys bow to you. “Watching you guys makes me really wish I could dance.”

“Those private lessons are still up for grabs,” Jimin winks as he runs a hand through his sweaty hair. You know that he’s trying to flirt with you, but you catch the same vibe from him as you do with Hoseok—flirting comes as easy to him as the intake of oxygen, and you’re completely unbothered.

Shaking your head with a laugh, you respond, “Sorry, love. I’ve got two left feet and a man waiting for me at home.”

Those words nearly make Yoongi’s heart stop. Jungkook catches the shift in his demeanour, and before Yoongi can do something stupid like put his foot in his mouth again or storm off in a huff, he quickly states, “Noona, I didn’t know you had a boyfriend.”

“I don’t,” you clarify immediately. “Sorry, that was misleading. I’m cat-sitting for my neighbour right now. Her little fluff ball, Merlin, is staying with me for a few days.”

Yoongi’s tense shoulders immediately relax, and it seems as if everyone in the room notices except for you.

“Besides,” you add, crossing your arms with a sigh. “I don’t date anyway.”

The tension in Yoongi’s shoulders returns with a vengeance, and he swears he can taste bile at the back of his throat. You launch into an explanation about why that is, something about focusing on your career and not having time to invest in another person, but he barely registers your words. It’s like he’s underwater and your voice is muffled above the surface. He’s drowning, but he doesn’t understand why.

Jungkook and Hoseok share a knowing look.

The five of you linger in the dance studio a while longer, conversation flowing easily as Jimin and Jungkook take teasing jabs at each other. Hoseok shows you some more of his dance moves, specifically his street dancing, as Jungkook attempts to twerk. Jimin somehow finds himself sprawled out with his head on your lap as you sit on the ground. You absentmindedly stroke his hair as if he’s a cat, attempting to braid the longer pieces of his bangs to no avail. Yoongi tries his best not to scowl.

“Oh shit, is that the time?” You suddenly notice how late it is as you look up at the clock on the wall. Jimin whines as you gently nudge him away. “I have to go back and feed Merlin before he pees on my shoes.” Everyone stands up as you gather your things. Turning to the dancers, you give a small bow and say, “Thank you for showing me your dance routine, it was amazing!”

You then turn to Yoongi, who still looks a little out of it. He notices that you’re staring at him, and he blinks hard a few times, eyes focused on you.

“Thank you for today,” you say quietly, and you step forward to wrap your arms around his neck in a loose hug. You figure Yoongi isn’t one for physical affection, so you keep the hug brief before scurrying over to the others to bid them farewell in a similar manner. You say your goodbyes, and then you’re out the door.

The four boys stand in the middle of the practice studio, Yoongi’s eyes trained on the now closed door. The other three blatantly gawk at him until Jimin pipes up.

“Yoongi-hyung’s got it bad.”

“No I don’t,” he says in a rush, ruffling his bangs so that they cover more of his eyes. “Y/N and I are just friends. And barely, at that. We just went for coffee today, that’s it.”

“I don’t know,” Jimin replies pensively. “You did seem pretty upset when she was playing with my hair.”

Yoongi growls. “That’s because you were basically eye-fucking her, Jimin. It was uncomfortable for everyone.”

“You really think everyone is out here eye-fucking your non-girlfriend, huh,” Hoseok jokes. “It’s okay to admit that you like her, hyung. She’s nice, she’s pretty, and she seems to like you back. I don’t see the issue.”

“There’s no issue, because I don’t like her,” Yoongi insists, choosing to ignore the last part of Hoseok’s statement. There’s a pregnant pause that settles between them, and then meekly, he adds, “Besides, even if I was—and I’m not—she just said she doesn’t date. So…there. It’s out of the question.”

“No offence, hyung,” Jungkook declares, flopping onto the ground and spreading his limbs out in a starfish formation, “but both of you are fucking dumb.”

“Shut the fuck up, Jeon,” Yoongi glowers. “You have no idea what you’re talking about.”

Jungkook bats his long eyelashes up at his friend, placing his hands under his head as a makeshift pillow. “Don’t I?” He muses, letting out another yawn. “Maybe it’s you who doesn’t know what you’re talking about.”

Yoongi doesn’t reply. He’s too busy trying to ignore Jungkook’s words, as well as the way his heart rate picks up slightly at the very mention of your name.

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blankdblank · 5 years

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Modern Soulmate Pt 10

Pt 1 - Pt 2 - Pt 3 - Pt 4 - Pt 5 - Pt 6 - Pt 7 - Pt 8 - Pt 9

@imagines-for-multiple-fandoms, @sincerelysinister, @nelswp, @lilith15000

All –

@himoverflowers, @theincaprincess, @aspiringtranslator, @sweeticedtea, @ggbbhehe4455, @thegreyberet, @patanghill17, @jesgisborne, @curvestrology, @alishlieb, @jogregor, @armitageadoration, @fizzyxcustard, @here2have-fun, @lilith15000, @marvels-ghost, @catthefearless, @imjusthereforthereads, @c-s-stars

X Thranduil - @evyiione, @sweetlytenacious25, @tigereyesf

x Thorin – @evyiione, @deepestfirefun, @queenoferebor

…

Strolling through the open doorway to Thorin’s classroom you shifted your bag so your skirt wouldn’t bunch up under it. True it was a bit odd for the Durins to see you in a dress in school, even if it was a simply navy sundress with white birds on it you covered with a long knit vest to help distract from your figure, but you needed to dress up a tad today. Thanks to your tall wedges you entered unheard to Thorin and Dwalin in their discussion over how Dwalin would get Bilbo out to spend time together again after the timid conversation they had at the joint family dinner. A shift of Dwalin’s shoulder made Thorin’s eyes tick wider in his shift in his stance while packing his bag up for the drive home he moved his hand to raise his cup to his lips, “Miss Pear, need a ride home?”

Unable to filter your words in translating your Elven thoughts to the common tongue you stated, “I need your dick actually.”

Sharply he spat his drink out, coughing as Dwalin let out a series of hearty laughs shifting to face you fully with his sleeve bunched up to help wipe away the few drops that had landed on your arm saying, “Um, Dear, I think you might need to elaborate on that.”

You glanced at Thorin realizing what you’d said, “Well you insisted I use the spare money you put in the joint account to put towards a new car for myself so I won’t have to bike in the rain when Leg needs to use mine. So, I found one. It’s a fair price, 8 and a half grand, great mileage.”

Thorin crossed his arms over his chest all but purring, “And just why would you need my dick for that?”

In a playful smirk back at him you said, “It’s from the same dealership I got my old car. It took me two hours before I managed to get the salesman to even bring up the papers for it against insisting on me taking something ‘sportier and more fitting for my figure’ I had to call Oropher, thirty minutes later I had my suv with cash on the table. I figure he takes one look at you in all your brooding resting face glory and it shouldn’t take long at all.”

He nodded with curiously raised brows asking, “What type of car?”

You reached into your bag and passed him the printout, “It’s a bit sporty, Leg is the one needing the storage from the suv, so I just need an a to b that is decent enough that I won’t seem out of place wearing a dress in it. Unless you’d rather I use the money-,”

Thorin shook his head and Dwalin smirked, “It’s powder blue though.”

You rolled your eyes, “It also changes to silver gull silhouettes when headlights hit it,”

Thorin skipped over the odd addition to ask, “How is this only 8 and a half? It’s barely a year old Coupe.”

“It has custom seats, a bit odd, but it’s silver birds across the backs of them. Gulls out the nose.” He raised a brow, “It’s the car the head of the Gulls team owner bought his daughter for her birthday, she hated it apparently, had to buy her a pink Ferrari instead.”

Dwalin chuckled, “So it’s a custom job, figures. How’d you find out about it?”

“Terrence, one of the guys on Leg’s team has a cousin that works there, he saw it come in last night, she barely used it it seems, hasn’t even been on the floor yet. Said it comes out today. He felt bad hearing I had to keep catching rides and he’s been hitching along with Leg to and from practices.”

Thorin nodded shouldering his bag and folded his jacket over his arm saying, “We should go then. Can’t wait to see how it looks in person.”

A bump of your hip against Dwalin’s made him smirk and peer at you curiously as you said, “You too fluffy. I got you and a certain bank teller a table at the cozy Hog’s Den across the street.” Making his mouth drop open as you giggled looping your arm in his saying, “He’s taking the bus there, so he’ll need a ride and after dinner you might want to take the eastern route, I hear there’s going to be fireworks over the riverside, conveniently by a little ice cream shop.” The more you said the wider his smile grew and you giggled again adding while he straightened his tie, “You look incredible, don’t be so nervous, you are doing fine.”

Behind you Thorin grinned chuckling to himself at your not so subtle nudge to keep the pair rolling ahead in their bonding. Then his mind switched to imagining you inside your car he was more than thrilled to know you were getting a clearly 45 grand custom car, minimum, at such a steal of a price.”

…

On the lot you were let out at the door on the side so you could stroll across the lot pretending to browse while a blonde in the lobby waved at you and ducked back into the back garage, snatching a set of keys as he did. Not a moment later the powder blue car was off the page and into real life parked in the empty space by the door before he slunk out the side door and raced with key in hand back to his former spot making you giggle. In the view of the salesmen inside through the glass wall you were nudged by Thorin over to the powder blue car in the row of sports cars. A brief bump and yet the contact gave him a flash of the nerves building in you urging him to rest his arm behind your back for a subtle stroke over it to help calm you.

The slickest of them gave his best cocky grin and strut his way out to the lot over to you both calling out, “I see you spotted our new little bitty.”

His grin twitching a bit seeing the low price sticker on the windshield the blonde had added and was chuckling about hiding behind the coffee station watching with his friends on his break at the salesman puffing himself back up again. Thorin nodded, “Yes, not my first choice but my Mate here insisted on this one.”

The salesman tried to guide you away for a moment only to notice Thorin wasn’t budging at all and started asking fro details on the car while you brought up the social page of the daughter if you’d need it later, “Well, unfortunately, someone must have put the wrong price on it. This one is barely a year old.”

He broke into a long list of features adding to the value before Thorin pointed out a list of his own noticed features, “Custom items don’t resell well. That I know for certain. You’d be lucky to get 9 for it in this state.”

The salesman scoffed, “It’s not custom.”

Through a faked giggle you bounced to Thorin’s side making him split his scowl to smile as you showed him the video on your phone, “No, this is the one, it even has the rhinestone cover for the steering wheel spelling out her name.” The salesman’s face dropped as Thorin chuckled at your playful pat of your hand on his chest, “Told you this was it.” Flashing him the video instantly shifting his game to try and get all he could from the commission on the deal.

But it didn’t take long for the conversation to move inside when the senior salesman who had just returned from his lunch recognized you both and claimed the seniority right to handling celebrity clients. Without so much as a blink he caught your telltale eyes and approving grin at the car and nodded his head saying, “Let’s go see how good of a deal we can get your little lady on the payments.”

You grinned back shaking your head, “I have cash.”

He raised his brow with a stunned chuckle and said, “Then let’s go get you your new title and keys then Miss Pear.” He chuckled again as your arm looped around Thorin’s in his stolen grin at you in your hop onto the curb while the first salesman slunk away muttering curses. Inside he called out to the blonde, “Theo, fill up and dust off Miss Pear’s new Coupe.” A nod and another darting path later the car was back into the shop while you were taken to the biggest office on the second floor overlooking the shop.

Papers were signed, your card from Thorin was swiped and finally you were free to set your bags in the back seat to buckle up and start the drive out of the lot. With a chuckle Thorin asked, “You like it?”

You nodded, “Not bad. I’m glad it’s not a boat like I first assumed. And you fit fine, so-,”

Thorin purred back, “So Thranduil should fit perfectly. Are you hungry?”

“You don’t-,”

“I know I don’t have to, we could pick something up on the way to yours so you can feed your foxes. My treat.”

“You bought the car.”

He chuckled, “You bought the car. And I had to say, amazing job with mentioning you had it all in cash. Dis used to wait until they had drawn up all the papers her first couple times bartering alone.”

You shrugged, “I might be underestimated by most but I can settle a deal.”

With a nod he said, “No doubt Melkor taught you well. I look forward to being on the other side of a board meeting with you.”

“Ah. Don’t be so concerned. I won’t be too hard on you.”

Making him chuckle again as you did, “Good to know.” From the passenger seat he wet his lips eyeing you approvingly in the driver’s seat, “Thran is really alright with this?”

You nodded, “Him and Leg insisted. Dewey is even buying me a new steering wheel cover, picked it out already, it’s got foxes on it.” Making him chuckle in your nip at your lip, “It’s a bit strapped right now, but it shouldn’t take long for my accounts to be cleared and I get full benefits from running the company so he won’t have to cover so much of our financials full time.”

You glanced at him and he said, “You can talk to me about this. I won’t go spreading it around. And if you need anything let me know.” You nodded again and he added in a playful purr, “Including more time to reschedule exams, like you did for your class with Sinmonns.”

In a finger wag a him you said, “I will have you know Elrond is expecting an Elk from the reserve for a cesarean that day and needs someone to help him. It’s just one exam, which I am taking tomorrow, so-,”

“Do you need to study?”

“I’ve got it covered. It’s mainly theoretical essays either way, so no real passages in the books to memorize.”

Wetting his lips again he looked you over again and said, “Alright. I also was reminded of the shadowing earlier today. Should start up again this week.”

“Ooh, fun. I’ll be sure to pay extra attention.” Making him roll his eyes and laugh.

“I still can’t believe how smug the Dean was about handing over the note to your file like that.”

You sighed and said, “Just figures, Finwe and Melkor didn’t get along.”

“Still-,”

You shook your head, “Don’t worry about it. He’ll get over it now he’s had his fun.”

“I’ll make certain of it.” In a grin at him he chuckled again then gave you directions to his choice for dinner to bring back to your place.

Once there you smiled seeing Thranduil outside with a grin and a bag of his own holding your new license plates, steering wheel cover he helped you add then stole a couple pictures of you with it then led you both inside to set up the meal. With the foxes fed you set up a film and giggled when Legolas wrapped you in a tight hug complimenting you on the purchase and joined you with a wide grin knowing you wouldn’t have to pedal to school and work anymore.

When the meal was done Thorin lingered, insisting on quizzing you for your exam against your insistence you were prepared, and when the sun began setting you gave him a lift next door so the Durins next door could all ogle your great purchase. And then promptly tug you in for a quick helping of ice cream before letting you slip out again when Thorin got a message saying Dwalin was on his way back.

#Thranduil x Reader OC #Thorin x Reader OC #Hobbit #lotr

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btskismet · 5 years

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Kismet (Chapter 6): a BTS Jin imagines fanfic

First ever fanfic. Contains fluff and some smut. Please read sequentially as it is a long story arc. Please provide feedback! My IG is btskismet.

The trip from Osaka to Kyoto would take an hour. She chose not to take the shinkansen this time since she left pretty early to take the train going to Shunkoin Temple.

After getting coffee, an onigiri and her favorite yogurt from Family Mart, she took her luggage with her to Namba station as she was ready to take the first train to Kyoto station. She decided that she will deposit her luggage at the coin lockers in Kyoto station first before going to the temple.

Jin will have to go straight to the hotel with his car, she thought. He won't have the chance to take a train from Kyoto station by that time because it would be too late.

She knew the stay in Kyoto would only be for 2 nights. But at least it will be quiet and secluded - hopefully no one will recognize him.

The train trip went by slowly, through the sleepy towns and fields. She contentedly watched the houses as they zipped past them, seeing each house look similar to the others and at the same time not because of the minor additions made to each one in terms of structure or decor. 'If I was on a shinkansen, all of this would be a blur', she thought to herself. She knew that was the disadvantage of riding the shinkansen. All the little intricacies that make the quaint houses look so nice can't be appreciated when riding a bullet train.

She contemplated on the itinerary on their stay in Kyoto and where they could go that wasn't too busy. She knew that Kyoto was the hotspot for tourists so travelling around might be a challenge. Good thing they will just be there for 2 nights before they head out.

~~~~

She was walking through the quiet path that led to Shunkoin Temple. A few other foreigners walked with her and she figured they would be her "classmates" for the meditation class. She was always interested in meditation done by Buddhist monks and she found that this is something she shouldn't pass up on this trip.

The Shunkoin Temple is the only temple in Kyoto that teaches mediation in English. It is a reasonably priced session for an hour and the abbot, Reverend Kawakami, answers all questions and concerns during each class before they start meditation. She was excited to learn how to do it properly.

The class is comprised of 20 people. Despite the large number of participants, it seemed that the class would really be a calm one because the Reverend was very accommodating and serene. The participants asked questions on the purpose of meditation, how to do it properly, what are the benefits and consequences, etc. She was pleased to know that it can help her manage stress better because it teaches mindfulness.

Someone asked a weird question in class. "Is it true that meditation can allow you to have a past life regression because your mind is open? I read about experiences other people had when they did meditation correctly.", an eager young lady in the front row asked.

"Meditation will definitely open your mind and provide spiritual awakening and enlightenment but past life regressions are rare, if not at all. Those who start having instances of spiritual awareness may feel that's it but that's not the case.", the Reverend replied.

The Reverend then asked them to close their eyes to start the session. He told them to sit in a comfortable but indian-style position. He taught them to focus on their breathing and for each inhale and exhale, they have to listen to just that. He didn't ask then to block their thoughts but the more they focused on their breathing, the more it would be easier for thoughts to drift in to their minds and out without effort.

She focused on her breathing and made sure to listen to each breath she took. She would inhale through her nose but exhale through her mouth, as was taught. She saw Jin in her mind's eye which made her smile deep inside. Then her thoughts of him faded away as she took a deep breath and released it.

Inhale then exhale... Inhale then exhale...

She saw Jin again in her mind but he seemed to be older. He still had those kind eyes and those full, pouty lips but his face was thinner and his complexion was a little duller. He also had a few creases in the corner of each eye. He was peeling carrots, hunched over a big bowl with peeled carrots. Then he faced her and he laughed.

She felt her own breath again as she inhaled and exhaled. She heard the Reverend's voice but it sounded so distant, as if he was underwater.

Then she saw her hands and she could see that it was covered in dirt and blood. They were trembling and then they got wet because rain started to fall which turned the ground into mud. She was crying and saw bodies around her; people she didn't recognize except for one. She looked up and saw soldiers standing in front of her, soaked in the rain, looking down on her. She started to cry louder, filled with pain and anger, as she looked at the faces of each soldier. In the back, she saw Jin looking at her; his expression was one of sadness and anger. She kept crying loudly until she felt she couldn't breathe. As she was trying to catch her breath, she then fainted.

~~~

She woke up and was startled to find herself lying down on a futon inside a tatami room. It wasn’t dark when she woke but she knew right away that she wasn’t in a hotel or airbnb. She sat up and looked at her watch. It was 3pm. She looked for her bag and saw it in one corner of the room. She went to it and took out her phone. There were several messages from family, from Jin and one from the hotel, asking if she needed assistance in getting there as it was past the check-in time she emailed them she would be there. She sent them a message that she would be there soon.

She racked her brain as to what happened. All she could remember was sitting down and listening to the Reverend, asking them to focus on their breathing.

One of the sliding doors in the room opened and a monk appeared. He bowed in front of her and asked if he could come in so she nodded. He had a pot with tea in it and motioned her to move to the table in the room. He silently poured the tea in a cup and offered it to her to drink. Without a word, she got the cup and took a sip.

“Am I still in Shunkoin?”, she politely asked the monk. He nodded.

“Do you remember what happened?”, he asked her in perfect English. “No. I just remember meditating and focusing on my breathing, just like what the Reverend said.”, she replied.

“Was there anything you heard or saw while you were meditating?”, he asked pointedly.

She tried to recall but just like her dreams, they started to fade as soon as she focused on remembering the details. “I remember seeing people I know, one person in particular and rain and...”. She said ‘tsk’ and shook her head. “That’s all I can remember.”

The monk nodded and poured her another cup of tea.

“What happened, uhh, Reverend...?”

“You can call me as Obousan Shu.”, the monk interjected.

“Obousan Shu, can you please tell me what I did? I really don’t remember.”

Obousan Shu began to tell her how she reacted during the meditation. He said that in the middle of the lesson, the Reverend noticed she had tears streaming down her face. As he was approaching her, she started to whimper but still had her eyes closed. The other students beside her started to ask if she was okay but she wasn’t responding back. When the Reverend reached out and touched her shoulder, she started wailing. He started talking to her and getting her attention while more people around her were trying to speak to her to wake her up. After a couple of seconds, she started to sound like she couldn’t breathe and then fainted. Then they carried her to the tatami room and called one of the monks who studied medicine to check her. When he said she was fine and breathing normally, they let her sleep in the room.

Her eyes were wide after he finished speaking. She covered her mouth and then made a low bow, her forehead touching the table. “Gomen nasai, Obousan Shu-san!”, she said quickly. “Please, it is nothing. No need to apologize.”, the monk said.

She lifted her head and felt the warmth rising up to her cheeks and ears. “I know you’re embarrassed about this but please don’t be. We are just glad that you are alright.”, he said.

“I am sorry for disrupting the class that way. I don’t know what happened to me. I can’t remember anything...”

Obousan Shu chuckled and said: “Maybe it is for the best. I think you meditated and went so close to enlightenment that you saw more!”

He poured her another cup of tea and she sheepishly took it, feeling more embarrassed than she let on.

~~~

Her face was still warm when she boarded the train from Shunkoin temple to Kyoto station. She felt ashamed that the temple wanted to refund what she paid for the class, given that she didn’t finish it. But she protested and said that she did stay in their temple room and it was only fair that they still took her payment. They refused and gave her a full refund and even gave her a blessing for safe travel.

She responded to Jin’s messages (after he sent a flurry of worried messages to her), telling him that she was fine and she would explain tonight what happened.

To divert his worry, she sent him a link to the hotel so he could check it and told him she was excited to see him again tonight as they still have a lot to plan for the trip to Hokkaido.

As she boarded the train from Kyoto station to head to Arashiyama station, she resolved to let go of what happened and just chalk it up as an interesting experience in her Japan travels. One thing’s for certain though: she felt that sense of enlightenment about Jin. Being with him for a week is definitely an opportunity that she should not pass up.

~~~

In the hotel, she was thrilled that they got the premiere suite. It was a quaint hotel and there were only 7 rooms for guests so the possibilities of people recognizing Jin were limited. She was aware that they had to be absolutely discreet and any news about Jin on his whereabouts after the concert would be career suicide for him.

She was sitting in the balcony area, looking at the boats floating on the Katsura river. She could hear the crickets in the area and the soft lapping of the water. She had a cup of hot chocolate in her hands.

2245. She checked her phone if she has a message from him as the concert ended 45 minutes ago. She started to wonder if it was hard for him to leave discreetly after the concert. The Kyocera Dome concert they had tonight was the last one in Japan this year and there would be thousands of ARMYs waiting for them to ride the cars on the way to the hotel. Jin did say that he wouldn’t go back to the hotel anymore as he packed all of his bags before the concert and already had them placed in the car. Each BTS member leaves the concert venues and hotels in their own cars for security so she hoped he didn’t need to have any detours or stopovers. His travel to the hotel would also be long - an hour’s drive from there to Arashiyama.

Bliiip!

She checked her phone and had a big smile with what she saw. Her heart raced when she saw the selfie Seokjin sent her with a message that said: In car. See you later (heart emoji).

“This is it! It’s happening!’, she thought. She stood up and plopped face down on the bed, got a pillow and screamed into it. She can’t wait to see Seokjin again.

--- to be continued ---

#btsjin #bts fanfction #bts imagination #bts imagines #bts jin #btskismet #bts fic

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kinkingbird-blog · 5 years

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“Old Wounds Heal Slowly” Polybomb

NAME: “Old Wounds Heal Slowly”

FANDOM: Shipgrumps

CHAPTER: Part 6 of a Series (Expand My Heart)

PAIRINGS: Egobang, background polybomb and egoflaptor

SUMMARY: A filled commission for @lygerzero14 . After six months together, Arin's relationship with Danny and Brian seems to be reaching new heights. As Arin watches Danny's relationship with Brian deepening, however, he realizes that his interactions with Danny are staying on the surface. Is it possible that Danny can only love one man - and that he's simply too afraid to tell Arin? Old paranoia rises to the surface - but Arin's pretty damn sure he can handle it alone this time, even though it's never worked before.

RATING: E.

WARNINGS: Miscommunication, paranoia, angst with a happy ending

WORD COUNT: 14,121

AO3 Cross Post: [x]

Commissions are open!!

Buy Me A Coffee, if you’d like~

It was absolutely incredible how six months could fly by in a blink. As Arin settled into his chair in the office, he leaned back, embracing the last few precious moments of procrastination before everyone else arrived – and allowing his mind to wander to the two men he was most eager to see.

As much as he loved them both, Danny floated in front of his mind’s eye first, smiling and laughing and vivaciously beautiful, and Arin let his lids fall shut with a smile. Six months. After the amount of time he’d spent waiting on him, it felt like no time at all – yet here they were. Next weekend would be their sixth month together in a relationship, and he couldn’t wait to celebrate.

It would have to be a surprise, of course, and nothing too fancy; Danny would balk and run at anything that didn’t let him wear jeans or that stupid leotard. Dinner would do well...then maybe a movie they could riff over while pretending they weren’t eager as hell to make out instead. He could see it now: Danny would keep checking Arin out, and five minutes later Arin’s impatience would explode as he crawled in his boyfriend’s lap.

He could imagine Brian laughing at them both now – or not. Maybe that was real.

Arin peeked through one eye, and when he caught a glimpse of graying hair and a head full of curls he grinned, leaning forward to see them both. Just before they could pass by the doorway Danny grabbed Brian and pushed him up against the wall, then kissed him – quite bravely, Arin thought, given how long it took him to figure out he wanted either of them in the first place. But something was different about this one. After that searing kiss, Danny pulled back half an inch – and lightly bussed his nose over Brian’s. A nuzzle, like Arin might give Suzy.

Sappy. Romantic. Sweet.

Not for the first time, uncertainty spread through Arin’s belly.

Without even a glance in his direction, Danny took his ringing phone out of his pocket and answered it as he hurried away, and Arin watched him go. Eventually his eyes wandered to Brian. Brian leaned there a few seconds more, a blissful smile on his lips, and let out a deep sigh before he looked at Arin. As soon as their eyes locked he came to him, going around Arin’s desk so he could bury his fingers in his hair. Tingles shot down Arin’s spine. Brian guided him in for a lush, warm kiss – his tongue sliding straight into his mouth as he let out a low moan – and, more than anything, Arin wished that it was enough to chase away his feelings of insecurity.

Brian loved him. He knew that for sure. Brian touched and cuddled and made love to him with dizzying intent, and Arin felt his regard down deep in his marrow.

Danny, though…

“Sure we can’t take the day off, boss?” Brian drawled as he pressed kiss after kiss to Arin’s lips. “Just you...me...Danny...a bed...hell, let’s take the rest of the office, huh? Make it an office bonding orgy.”

“You’re fucking ridiculous.” Still, it did the job: Arin laughed. He squeezed Brian’s hand once before shoving at his chest. “Go, go on, the faster we get this done, the sooner you get to suck my dick.”

Brian simpered at him as he backed away. “Well, with promises like those, who even needs to pack a lunch?” He disappeared before Arin could throw a retort, leaving him blissful as he sank down into his chair.

Blissful...for all of five minutes. And then it was time to think again.

After the disaster that happened while Arin and Suzy were away on their anniversary trip – and how Danny had almost irreparably damaged his relationship with Brian – the two of them rebuilt immediately. No signs of weakness remained. Just two boyfriends drowning in each other. No one could look at them and doubt their love.

Yet Danny, it seemed, wanted to keep Arin at arm’s length even still. He couldn’t figure it out. What was it that made Arin’s relationship with Danny so different from Danny’s relationship with Brian? Was that what it took to get close to Danny – a disaster?

Arin tried to work through logic every time that he faced a problem, but moments like this brought him to a screeching halt. He’d think and think and think and find himself in a circle that he couldn’t get out of. People helped – Suzy, Brian, and oddly even Ross – but alone?

All he could think of now was how Danny had always been a one woman kind of man.

In every story Danny had ever told him, no matter how many girlfriends or lovers or one night stands he’d had, he’d never been a cheater, and he swore he never would. When he was with a girl, no matter if their relationship was for an hour or a year, he was loyal to her. Was that something ingrained in him? Monogamy? Arin fell in love with someone new every hour, but maybe he was the exception to humanity’s rule. Maybe the majority of people could only fall for one person at a time.

And maybe Danny hadn’t realized that yet. Maybe he didn’t know that the only person he was really able to be in love with was Brian.

Stop. Arin raked a hand through his hair with a huff. You’re a fucking idiot, Jesus Christ, will you listen to yourself? This is Danny you’re talking about.

Danny was sweet. He didn’t intentionally hurt people. He tried his hardest in everything he did. He wouldn’t just be waiting for the opportunity to break Arin’s heart.

He was trying. And Arin had to believe that. A relationship was built on trust, and he knew that more than anybody.

He stood up and snagged an agenda from his printer, going into the hallway. He’d lead everyone through what major tasks they had to get done before the end of the week. He’d do his job. And later he’d pull Danny aside and find a way to remind himself that their relationship was as strong as ever.

Danny sighed as he flopped onto the couch beside Arin, rubbing the bridge of his nose. “Okay. How many videos are we recording today?”

“Like a million.” Arin tossed a controller at Danny’s stomach and laughed when he jumped. “Hope you drank your energy drink.”

“Gross.” He dropped his hand from his eyes and caught Arin’s gaze, then smiled. The microphones were constantly recording, yes, and they were more than a little careful about what they said in the studio for that very reason. They could never guarantee the editors wouldn’t make a mistake and leave something crucial in the recording and accidentally out their relationship. Cameras, though? Never on. They could get away with staring at each other as much as they wanted. “You’re gonna be a tyrant, aren’t you?” A bright grin spread across Danny’s face as he flicked his eyes up and down Arin’s body. “Probably won’t even let me have a bathroom break.”

“You’ve gotta earn it.” Arin sat next to him and drank in how Danny didn’t look away. He recognized it immediately – the spark of interest in Danny’s eyes – and he thrived on it, tucking it away in his gut, where he felt an answering flame rise to meet it. Even with the lies his subconscious whispered to him about the depth of their relationship, Arin could never doubt that Danny wanted him. He only had to take one look at him to see it. Feel it.

Work came first. Regardless of how suddenly Arin wanted to bury himself in Danny’s arms and chase away all the fears he had, he knew there were way too many videos to record before their con appearance in a couple of weeks. But we can spare a kiss. Those were quiet. And no one was there to accidentally film it.

Arin reached over, cupping Danny’s cheek, and leaned in-

And Danny pushed him away with two hands on his chest and a bubbly laugh. “Gross, dude!”

Pain ripped through Arin’s chest. He furrowed his brow and sat back again, opening and closing his mouth before he remembered there wasn’t a thing he could safely say. But he couldn’t remember the last time Danny had rejected him so...succinctly. Why was it that easy for him?

Did he really not care?

Danny was already off, talking about the game they were going to play, and when he looked at Arin he frowned in the middle of his monologue, looking at him with clear confusion. Did he not realize, then? What he’d done?

Why was that so difficult for Arin to believe?

Arin picked up his controller, took a deep breath, dug down for every aspect of the improvisation classes they’d taken, and seized hold of his best acting chops. “Welcome back!” he said as cheerfully as he could, pushing forward.

And Danny, instead of questioning it, only laughed and looked back at the screen without a care in the world.

Filming went easily enough. No technological mishaps. No true rage. They had a solid chunk of editable content by the time they finally threw down their controllers – but Arin was exhausted. He’d put on a brave face for hours straight without even taking a break. Fuck anybody who says this job is easy. He sat back and closed his eyes, letting out a deep sigh. Let’s see them do comedy for five hours in a row.

“You think we’re good?” Danny asked as he stood up. “Can I go grab a late lunch?”

No, Arin wanted to say, because we still haven’t talked about what we wanna do for our monthaversary, and I think you’re trying to put some distance between us and it freaks me out, and if I end up going to lunch alone I know all I’m gonna do is sit there and brood for a fucking hour.

But he didn’t say that. He opened his eyes and studied the inch of bare skin beneath Danny’s shirt hem as he stood on his tiptoes, arms reaching toward the ceiling, and tried, against all odds, to be better than that.

“Are you busy next weekend?” He skimmed his eyes slowly up Danny’s frame until he found his face, waiting for some recognition to come through. Nothing.

“Maybe? I dunno. Guess I’ve gotta look.”

Did he really have no idea? Was he clueless? “Maybe you should,” Arin prompted. “Maybe you’ve got something to celebrate.”

Danny laughed as he headed toward the door. “Right, we know how much of a party guy I am now. Makes perfect sense.”

Arin stiffened. “Just, y’know, keep it open if you see you don’t have any plans, okay?”

“My weekends are pretty full, though, most of the time!” Danny sounded as cheerful as ever. Oblivious.

For some reason it pissed Arin off far more than it should. He stood up and shoved past Danny to get to the door first. “Well, have a great time, then,” he muttered as he let the door shut behind him.

If he calls my name, I’ll stop, and I’ll tell him why I’m mad, he promised himself, jaw tight. But the studio door didn’t open behind him, and so Arin walked on and tried his best to leave his anger in it.

The rest of the day, anxiety plagued him. He struggled through a meeting. He barely focused as he went through his fanmail and gifts. Time slowed until he thought he was going to explode. The second the clock ticked over to closing time, he was the first one out of the office – a Grumps first. He couldn’t handle it anymore. All day he hadn’t heard from Danny or seen him, and it only confirmed his fears.

He needed someone else to listen. Someone who could help him figure his shit out. Suzy, bless her, was always going to take Arin’s side for as long as they both lived, and she was out for dinner with a friend that night anyway – and that meant he was left to choose the most intelligent person he knew.

Probably not wise, necessarily, to do anything that made it look like he was pitting one boyfriend against the other, but Arin was at the end of his rope. He sent off a text to Brian at a stoplight, asking him to come over as soon as possible. The sooner he dealt with it, the better.

He didn’t anticipate the waiting being quite so bad. He’d missed traffic fortuitously, but within five minutes of sitting listlessly on his own couch and staring into space he realized that Brian would’ve hit it no matter what. He should’ve done something to distract himself. He should’ve pulled up a game or opened a sketchbook or put on an anime he’d been neglecting – but he couldn’t. He was lost in his own misgivings, and he couldn’t find his way out.

With how things started with Danny in the first place, Arin always believed he’d be able to handle it if Danny had to be a little more hands off than Brian did. Brian was a romantic, through and through, even if he was a kinky little shit, and he never made Arin feel like he wasn’t wanted. They’d figured things out one day at a time, and because of the care they’d taken – the care Brian forced them to take, especially – each day together their relationship had only deepened. It was amazing. It was like falling in love with Suzy all over again – and yet not. Something entirely different that he was still getting used to.

Danny, though, he’d been scared, hadn’t he? Everything had almost blown up among all three of them more than once. He and Brian had to outright seduce him into their lives, when everything was said and done – using sex as a tool to help Danny relax through his panic – and from then on, Arin told himself not to be too disappointed if sex was all he could give them.

Maybe it wouldn’t be so hard if Danny was only giving Brian sex too. But he wasn’t. They were head over heels for each other, and Arin was stuck watching it from the sidelines.

He jolted when he heard someone try the door before they even knocked, and he stood, feeling numb as a ghost as he glided toward it. The second he saw Brian’s concerned face, he threw his arms around him, and his boyfriend hummed as he pushed his hand through Arin’s hair. “Hey, hey, I’m here.”

“I know you are.” Arin had been trying to build up to a joke, maybe, or teasing, but the words came out so mournfully that all he could do was sigh.

“What’s wrong?” Brian kissed his temple, and Arin let his eyes fall shut. “It’s not an emergency, is it?”

“No, I just...” Arin shook his head and huffed out an unconvincing laugh. “Fuck, dude, do you ever do that thing where you get stuck in your own head and can’t get out?”

“Sometimes.” For once, Brian didn’t quip. Arin was thankful for it. “Do you wanna talk about it?”

Did he? He’d rather keep it all inside and let it fix itself, but that had never worked out well in the past. Memories of choking himself on his own paranoia as a teenager flooded him. He finally nodded and backed up, taking Brian’s hand and leading him inside. “You want something to drink or whatever?”

“I want to know what’s wrong, and to hold you, and to help.”

Arin shut the door a little too hard and leaned against it. Why did Brian make it so easy to love him, and why did Danny make it so scary? He stood there for a long few seconds, feeling himself shake, then pushed away and walked past Brian to the living room, hearing him follow behind.

He made Brian sit first, then took the other couch without comment – he wanted to be able to see him to talk this through, to get through his frustration without getting caught up in the idle comfort of Brian holding him close. It was dangerous, letting himself give in to the lull of physical touch. He could almost use it to pretend that nothing was wrong in the first place. It would work until that night, when Arin was in bed and struggling to fall asleep and feeling the walls close in around him, tighter and tighter until he couldn’t breathe.

No, this way was better – and he’d see it through.

“It’s about Danny,” he said by way of opening, and he couldn’t miss the way that Brian sat up just that little bit taller. “We didn’t, like, have a fight or anything, don’t worry – at least, I don’t think we did.” Had they? Had Arin done something wrong that Danny was punishing him for in some small way? No matter how much he tried to remember, nothing came to mind, and he threw that concept out the window. “It’s about how...how you two get along.”

Brian wrinkled his brow, but he kept his mouth shut. Small favors. Brian was better at listening than Arin and Danny combined.

Arin knew he could hem and haw about his thoughts for a good hour, if he let himself, but the fear on the back of his tongue didn’t give him that option. Not today. So out it came. “He treats you sweeter than he treats me. Have you noticed that?”

Brian’s eyes widened. “What?”

“Like, romantically! He treats you like you’re a fucking king!” The words burst out unexpectedly as he leaned into the couch and covered his eyes. “I don’t mean, like, when we’re all three in bed or whatever – he treats us about the same there, doesn’t he, how he just lets himself fucking go and fucks the shit out of us – but outside of it, you get the special treatment. You get the kisses and the handholding and the dates, and-”

“Arin, I don’t understand. Slow down. What are you talking about?”

“I don’t think he loves me!”

Silence. The panic spread down his throat, thick and acidic, and he shuddered, dropping his hands and staring at the ceiling.

“He doesn’t treat me like he loves me, Brian,” Arin finally said slowly. “He treats me like he wants to fuck me, and that’s it. He holds me back. He acts like we’re just friends, unless all three of us are together. But he doesn’t do that to you.” The memory from earlier that day – how easily Danny had nuzzled Brian – stung. “I thought...I could handle it. I’ve got the most incredible wife anyone could ever imagine. I’ve got an awesome relationship with you. All that says I should be pretty okay with my other boyfriend being just a fuck buddy or whatever, but goddammit, Brian, I love him too much to settle for that.”

“Arin.” Brian sat forward, reaching for his hand, and after a long moment of hesitation he let him have it. “Listen to me. I understand that...that something has you upset right now. But can you listen to me for just a few minutes? Can we work through this together?”

The sweetness Arin was privileged enough to hear on this man’s tone – Brian, who had more fun making people squirm than anything – was rare enough that he knew he should relax. He didn’t. But he did press his lips shut and hope that would be enough to keep his fears at bay for just a little while.

Brian squeezed his hand and took a deep breath, staring at the floor between them, and Arin let himself take a long look at him and marvel at how his mind worked. He really did want to help, didn’t he? A man like this who for years refused to believe that he was attracted to Danny just because he knew he couldn’t have him – who, for all intents and purposes, could have a relationship only with him instead, rather than Arin who was sitting here and dragging him into his own drama. Arin had a wife. Arin didn’t need another partner, and he knew that he was being fucking difficult as shit right now...but Brian hung in there. Brian loved him. And that was remarkable and more than Arin had ever deserved.

“I’ve known Danny for a very long time,” Brian began slowly. “Much longer than you. We’ve been partners in business since far before you and him started to work together. We’ve already been through a lot of the muck of fighting and friendship and drama. We’ve screamed at each other like we were kids in high school before. Do you know what I’m saying?”

“You know each other better.” Arin tried not to sulk.

“I don’t mean it like that.” Brian leaned forward and kissed the back of Arin’s hand, and that soft contact alone made him sigh out another ounce of tension. “Because we’ve got that solid foundation...maybe it was easier for Danny to transition our relationship. That’s not bad. It doesn’t mean something’s wrong with you. It just means that Danny probably doesn’t really know how to compartmentalize the man he is when he’s recording with you, and the man he is when the cameras are off.”

Arin didn’t like the sounds of that. Brian and Danny, it was true, they’d known each other for years before Arin came along. He knew surely that Brian wasn’t suggesting that Danny needed that exact amount of time before he could start acting like a boyfriend to Arin, but…

...goddamn, it was tempting to think of it like that. Tempting to be terrified out of his mind and let the fear rule him. Tempting to let it drive him to confront Danny and talk all this out once and for all.

“Is that really what’s going on?” Brian murmured. He sat on the edge of the couch, and even without looking at him Arin could feel the concern rolling off his body. “I’ve never seen you like this.”

His head felt too heavy for his body. He hung it low, staring at his own feet, his hand going limp in Brian’s grip. “...I haven’t felt like this in a long time. Like...like someone might be better for Danny than me.” He snorted. “Like, obviously I know you are, in a way – that’s what polyamory is all about, right? Knowing that somebody can’t be someone’s everything – but I used to have some confidence that I gave Danny something you don’t. Like I was still irreplaceable somehow. And I don’t feel like that anymore. I feel like he’s figuring that out. Like he knows he doesn’t love me.”

“He loves you.” The firmness in Brian’s tone made Arin jerk his gaze to his face. “Listen to me, Arin, he adores you. He thinks you hung the moon. He’s been passionate about you since he even knew what it meant. But he shoved you in a very specific hole in his mind – his best friend – and that’s gonna take time to come out of.”

How much trouble was Arin causing Brian right now? How many times was he going to make Brian repeat the same damn thing over and over again until it finally got through Arin’s thick skull? You’ve gotta do better than this. He felt it again – that fear. Keep it up, and you’re gonna drive him away too.

Brian stood up and took Arin’s other hand, standing directly in front of him and looking more worried than Arin had ever seen him. “Do you wanna go get some dinner? Talk a little more?”

Every single cell in Arin’s body wanted to say yes. Brian was strong. He was irrepressible. It would be easy for Arin to snuggle up against him and drain out his strength. But he couldn’t do that, could he? He had to stand on his own two feet. He shook his head. “No, I...you’re right. Everything you said was right. I’ve just gotta remember it, don’t I?”

Brian was quiet. He wore a frown that caught Arin’s heart and squeezed it tight. “We can still talk about it. I’ve...seriously never seen you quite like this before. I don’t even know where it’s coming from.”

Instinctively Arin knew what he meant. Arin bled confidence out of every orifice. He’d built an empire, first through animation and then through entertainment. Him, the high school dropout with only limited opportunities. For all intents and purposes, everything should’ve fallen to pieces around him when he was barely sixteen. He never should’ve gotten this far – and that meant a man like him was supposed to strut around with his nose in the air and a cocky smirk on his face because he was invincible.

The problem was that Arin had been waiting ever since he made that move toward his uncertain future for everything to fall apart around him. Everything. And, for the first time, it truly looked like it might.

“I probably just need more sleep,” he said, forcing a chuckle as he let go of Brian’s hands. “I’m just, like...running my mouth about stupid shit. It’s fine, dude, don’t worry. You’re right. I need to think through this and tell myself why it’s irrational or whatever, right?”

“You don’t have to do it alone. You know that.” Brian came down on his knees in front of Arin, his handsome face filling his vision. “I know I give you shit all the time, but I know when to turn it off. I’m here for you. I could be here all night, if you needed.”

Having Brian be this serious, every ounce of humor sucked straight out of those concerned eyes, only made guilt fill Arin to the brim. Any moment now it was going to spill over, and the last thing he wanted was for Brian to see it and think Arin was weak. “No, it’s okay, seriously, I think I talked it all out. I’ve just gotta have some me time. I figure shit out better that way.” He pulled a smile that felt like it looked pretty genuine as he stood up, and Brian sat back and tipped his head to see his face. “Unless you wanna make this position make sense…?” Arin managed to tease.

Brian rolled his eyes as he got to his feet, one hand on the coffee table to stabilize himself. “Funny. Yes, Arin, let me suck out all your worries straight through your dick – how did you know my ulterior motive all this time?” But before Arin could laugh, Brian wrapped his arms around him and pulled him in, tucking Arin’s head against his shoulder. Warmth flooded him, as if Brian’s love was flowing straight into him, and he fisted his hands in Brian’s t-shirt and squeezed his eyes shut even as his lover began to speak. “I’m just a phone call away. Don’t forget that. Don’t do that thing where you try and do everything and work yourself half to death. I deal with that enough from Danny.”

Just that one mention of the man plaguing Arin with concern made a fresh flush of anxiety shoot through him, and he knew then and there that he had to get Brian out of his house before he lost it. “No, yeah, you’re right. I’ll get some sleep. Don’t worry about me. I’ll see you tomorrow. No big deal.” He rattled off platitudes as he pulled back and guided Brian to the front door by the hand. He gave him one searing kiss, then forced another smile. “Drive home safely, okay?”

Brian heaved a sigh. “If I must.” With one last kiss on the cheek, Brian pulled away, and Arin shut the door behind him and leaned heavily against it.

He was fucked, and he knew it. This was going to be a long night.

“Hey baby!” Suzy smiled as she kicked off her shoes at the front door and padded into the living room in her stockings, wrapping her arms around Arin on the couch from behind. “Did you already eat?”

“Yep.” It was easier to lie to her when he wasn’t looking at her. Easier still to pretend that he hadn’t put on an anime and stared at the screen senselessly while he built himself up to nausea fervently worrying about his relationship. “How was dinner?”

“Good!” Suzy kissed Arin’s cheek, then paused when she saw his profile. “You okay? You look all gross and pale.”

Arin rolled his eyes. “Thanks, babe,” he said with a dry chuckle, but when she still didn’t pull away he forced himself to look at her. Dear, sweet, strong Suzy, who’d held him together through thick and thin – who’d gone so far as to let him do this whole polyamory thing without questioning it even once. Did she even know how remarkable she was? How much Arin didn’t deserve her? He palmed the back of her head, feeling her smooth hair, and let out a sigh. “Just feel weird, I guess. Got some things I’m thinking about. Might be up late tonight.”

Suzy frowned as she squeezed his shoulders in another quick hug. “Want me to sit up with you?”

Arin tried, more than anything, not to bother Suzy with any frustrations he had about Brian and Danny. As kind as she was being to let him figure out his relationship with them, she didn’t deserve to be bogged down with their issues too. What if they upset her? What if she got jealous and decided to go fix things herself, even if it meant yelling at his boyfriends until they yelled back? How quickly would everything fall apart? He swallowed down the lump in his throat and shook his head. “Nah. I’ve gotta figure it out on my own. I’ll talk to you about it when it starts making sense, okay?”

It didn’t take a mind reader to see that Suzy wasn’t happy with that idea. “I don’t want you to be alone if you’re sad.” She kissed the top of his head and nuzzled into his hair, unknowingly calling up images of the exact incident Arin knew he needed to forget. “You’ve got so many of us that love you now. There’s literally no reason you have to go through something alone-”

“I know.” He winced from the sharpness of his own tone and tried to shake it off. “I know. I’m sorry, I just...”

“Arin?”

“It’s okay. I’m okay.” He guided her into a quick kiss. “Don’t worry about me.”

Suzy pouted, but her expression clearly said that she knew Arin’s mind was made up. “I always worry about you, baby.” She stood up and moved to the door frame, where she paused and looked over her shoulder. “Will you come get me if you need me?”

Arin smiled at her even as his foot pounded out a rhythm on the floor. “Duh. You’re my number one wife.”

“I better be,” she teased, but he’d been with her for over half his life now, and he could see how she was struggling to pull together good humor. She went to the bedroom, and Arin flopped on the couch, trying not to think about how much of an inconvenience he was for every single person around him.

Somewhere as the first hour passed, he began to feel restless, yet like he was chained to the couch. Comfort waited for him upstairs – cuddles, a quiet and calm voice in the darkness – but he didn’t feel like he’d earned it. For the first time in an eternity, he found himself gripped so thoroughly by his own pain that he couldn’t escape it.

So he gave in.

The night crept on as Arin played and replayed every way that his relationship with Danny could self-destruct without either of them even really trying. He’d been so forceful with getting him involved. He should’ve waited. He should’ve stopped being an asshole and snapping about how long it was taking him to get his dick out or whatever. So what if he and Brian had to restrain themselves around each other because it made Danny nervous? He should’ve just dealt with it.

And let him be, what, homophobic like that? Arin’s thoughts taunted him. Yeah, sure, that would’ve been a much better solution.

What if Arin had been the one to kill the relationship before it even got started? What was the fucking likelihood that Danny, who was the sweetest and most affectionate man who’d ever lived – practically a puppy – knew that he didn’t love Arin, but just hadn’t found a way to tell him yet?

If Danny broke up with Arin, would Brian feel pulled between them? Would Danny sit there on his dates with Brian and badmouth Arin?

What if he’d already been doing that and Brian was too loyal to tell him?

How long has this whole thing been fucked?

He could practically hear Brian’s voice in his mind, begging him to be patient, and, just as easily, Arin shoved it away. Who could be patient when their heart was pounding in their chest and ice was spreading through their veins?

In the wee hours before the dawn, a specter of fear hovered over Arin, and he refused to let it catch him. He came to his feet, grabbed his keys off the table, and left the house in his bare feet. After so long of doing nothing – barely even breathing – his body was stiff and sore, but the actions that had felt so impossible in the moment were suddenly the only things that felt like they could save him. He did them without thinking. Start the car. Pull out of the driveway. Drive toward the freeway. Get on heading toward Danny’s house. One thing after another, interspersed between the awareness that he had no idea what he was doing or why he was doing it, only that he needed an answer from Danny now, before things fell to pieces--

The second he’d parked in Danny’s driveway, crooked, he climbed out of the car with it still running and took purposeful steps toward his door. Finally he was doing the first sane thing he’d done all day. Even in his sleepless, exhausted head, he knew it made sense – perfect sense.

He knocked on the door. Nothing. Knocked again. The third time he knocked it flew open with a half-frantic Danny standing there. “Arin, what’s wrong, is everyone okay?”

Arin planted a hand on Danny’s chest and pushed him inside – walls were safer than standing in the open air where even the sun was coming out to judge him – and asked the question that had been playing on his mind for over half a day. “Do you even wanna be with me?”

Silence. Dead silence. Danny – beautiful Danny, perfect and owner of such a huge part of Arin’s heart – stared at him, mouth hanging open and brow furrowed. His eyes were glossy. His hair was ruined. And his lips weren’t moving.

He had nothing to say. Seconds that felt like hours ticked by until Arin knew, really knew, that he was about to cry in front of Danny – and he refused to do that and be just another inconvenience for somebody.

Besides, he already had his answer.

He slammed the door behind him as he left, jogged to his car in a desperate attempt to leave the silence behind, climbed in, and drove. No destination. No plan. Just trying to get as far away from it as he could.

It still caught up to him, just like a demon feeding on his pain – and, helpless to resist it, he spent the first half hour of dawn crying his eyes out on the side of the road.

“Where the fuck were you?”

The second that Arin stepped inside, Suzy threw herself at him, the morning light streaming in through the open door. She trembled as she held him close, and he felt it with only faint stirring guilt – he was too exhausted and numb to feel, much less respond to her.

“You never came to bed, you weren’t here when I woke up, you left your phone here...” Suzy’s voice shook as she rambled on, and Arin squeezed his eyes shut. “I-I didn’t know where you were! Danny’s been calling for two hours, Arin! What happened?!”

He couldn’t say anything. Do anything. Everything was trapped in his chest, sealed shut. It was a small blessing, he supposed – anything was better than giving into those tears again like a child – but it left him dead inside. The guilt lifted its head a little higher. He was standing here, being held by the woman he’d pledged his whole heart and life to, and he was steely cold because he’d lost another lover? What kind of man was he?

Any other time, he might’ve heard soft voices lifting in the back of his mind and soothing him – reminding him that they’d started this new ethical nonmonogamy thing together, that he’d simply been so safe in his tower of marriage and happiness that he’d forgotten what it felt like to be broken up with. That it was no wonder the pain was twice as heavy as it had been when he and Suzy had briefly gone their separate ways when they were younger.

But he bludgeoned those voices, kicking them down to the ground, and left them there to bleed out as he stood in silence, simply taking short, shaky breaths.

Suzy guided him to the couch at some point and sat with him, but he didn’t catch the words that surrounded him. He saw Danny’s face staring at him in his mind’s eye, so quiet because the game was finally up. Because Arin knew. Too ashamed to say what Arin needed to hear, but letting the silence speak for himself.

Eventually Suzy stepped away, and Arin followed her with his eyes, feeling a bubble of panic pop in his gut – instincts made him fear that she was leaving him too – but once she was in the entryway, he heard her talking on her phone. “Hey, Brian.”

Brian. Fuck. He sat back with a heavy sigh and closed his eyes. He forced himself to listen to her side of the conversation, no matter how difficult it was.

“Yeah, he’s home. I don’t know. Danny told me he went to his house last night and left pretty fast?”

Arin’s jaw tightened.

“He’s not talking to me. No, it’s...not normal. It hasn’t been like this in a while.”

Suzy had been there since they were kids, practically, just two teenagers wandering around in that anime convention, Arin trying to set up his lonely buddy while pretending that he himself wasn’t already feeling the spark of chemistry between them. She’d seen everything – those devastating bouts with anxiety when the shitty comments he received on his art had been so high in number that he hadn’t been able to laugh them off anymore, when she’d held him close while he was at his most nonverbal.

“I can’t call Danny. Brian, I’m pissed as hell at him! Something happened! It can’t just...no, if I see him right now, I just know I’m gonna wring his neck.”

His spitfire of a wife. How many times had she ripped into people without him even asking her? There was a reason he’d had to develop such a casual demeanor about life and criticism – if he showed even the slightest sign of returning to those old, self-demeaning habits he had, Suzy flared up like she was ready to breathe fire. She protected him just like he protected her. That was what they did. He pitied Danny, if he and her crossed paths at the office today before...before what? Things got sorted out? Everything was pretty clearly fucked at this point, wasn’t it? There wasn’t anything to fix. It was done.

“Just go talk to Danny, please? Find out what really happened? I’ll text Brent and let him know everyone’s gonna be in late. You guys are lucky you’ve already got a buffer recorded. ...yeah, I’ll let him know. Thanks. Be safe.”

When Suzy came back into the room, she curled up next to Arin in her pajamas and wrapped her arms around his shoulders. “Brian says he loves you,” she whispered. “And I love you too, baby.”

Her words were the first balm he’d had in almost twenty-four hours – no, even longer than that. He closed his eyes and sank into her and cried.

The second that Danny’s door opened, Danny looked disappointed, and Brian wasn’t the least bit offended. “Oh. Hey.”

“Not him,” he said dryly as he let himself in and shut the door behind him. The next second he wrapped his arms around Danny and felt how the taller man practically wilted against him. “Hey, I’m here.”

“Is he okay?” Danny asked shakily.

“Didn’t Suzy text you?”

Danny sighed and buried his face in Brian’s shoulder. “I mean, yeah, but, like...I don’t mean physically. She just said he’s home. I think she hates me.”

“She doesn’t hate you.” In times of crisis Brian burrowed deep within himself and found a neverending well of patience, and he pulled it out now, letting it flow freely. “She’s concerned. She thinks something happened here last night that neither of you are talking about.”

“I told her everything I know!” Danny burst out, the words rushing out of him as Brian slowly led him toward the couch. “He woke me up from a dead sleep before the sun was even up, I was sure somebody had to be dead or whatever, and he just, like, he asked me if I wanted to be with him or whatever? How the fuck was I supposed to know what to say to that?! I’d just woken up!”

As he might’ve expected. Brian sat them both down, but Danny stunned him by clinging to him even still. He threw a leg over Brian’s thighs and stayed hidden in his shoulder, tightening his arms with a shudder. Had he always craved physical contact like this when he was upset? It was the first time that he’d shown a desire for it – or even let himself be this vulnerable with him.

Brian pet slowly through his hair, making sure not to tangle his fingers in any curls. “Arin’s home. He’s with Suzy. Brent knows we’re all going to be late – fuck, we might not even make it in at this rate.”

“Because of me,” Danny murmured dully. “Because it’s my fault.”

“I’m not putting blame on you about anything, okay?” He kissed the top of Danny’s head. Odd how comforting him came so naturally when they’d never really been like this with each other before. It was like those years of closeness had finally broken down into something logical. Something that made sense. They were partners, through and through, and it showed.

Just as easily Brian imagined Arin’s face as he’d last seen it – forcing a smile, with his concerns still radiating around them – and he realized that he’d never seen Danny and Arin like this before. Not ever. Paranoia was never logical, but even the smallest aspects of an experience could make it grow. No wonder.

“Arin’s...afraid.” If he could spend an entire day comforting Danny before going into this, he would, but there wasn’t time. Suzy made it sound like this used to be a usual response from Arin, but that it hadn’t happened in years. If it was something that she couldn’t comfort him out of, then Brian and Danny needed to do whatever they could to clear up the misunderstanding. And it had to be a misunderstanding. Brian couldn’t imagine, after these years of watching how Danny admired and worshiped the ground that Arin walked on, that Danny had anything less than love for the man, regardless of how he chose to show it. “You know that, right? He’s afraid that you aren’t serious about him.”

Danny pulled away with a wounded expression. “Does he think he’s the only one who’s afraid?!” He gritted his teeth and pulled back, breaking Brian’s hold, and threw himself against the couch arm. “Does he think he’s the only goddamn man who’s ever been afraid of what’s going on in his relationship?”

The last thing Brian had expected was such a violent reaction. “Whoa, whoa, hold on.” He held up his hands. “What are you referring to?”

‘This!” Danny pointed at Brian, himself, then further down the couch – where Arin often sat when the three of them were having a date together. “Us! All of us! Don’t you think I’ve fucked up enough already without even trying?”

Brian shook his head in confusion. “Danny-”

“I almost ruined everything for you and me in one fucking night. I know I did.” He looked like he was fighting to be angry, but all that he received were eyes full of tears. “And okay, sure, we figured it out, but not everybody does that. You should’ve broken up with me on the spot. I hurt you.”

“Everybody hurts each other someti-”

“But not like that.” Danny sucked in a sharp, wet breath. “Look. We’re doing fine. The band’s doing fine. But if we’d broken up and called the band quits, you and me both know we would’ve been okay. Miserable and upset and whatever, but we would’ve still had our work with Grumps.” Before Brian could rebut that idea, Danny plunged ahead. “If Arin and I make this whole relationship thing deeper...if we make it more serious...it’s only a matter of time before I fuck up and he leaves me. And, when that happens, our entire livelihoods are at stake. You, me, Arin, Suzy – everybody in that office would have their lives fall apart. Do you know how long that’ll take to recover from?”

“Why are you saying that like it’s a done deal?” Brian reached for Danny, but when his lover flinched away he drew back. “Why do you just assume you’re going to ruin everything?”

“Because I always do!”

“And that means you’re just going to run before it happens?!”

Danny opened his mouth, then clicked it shut, glaring at the wall with a scowl.

“Danny. You’ve already hurt Arin. I know you didn’t mean to. I know that half of it is his fault for letting his mind get away from him without talking to somebody about it. But it already happened.”

“Goddammit.” Danny covered his eyes.

“But that doesn’t mean your relationship is fucked.” Brian gathered every bit of strength he could, forcing himself to keep his gaze on Danny. This wasn’t easy. But it had to be said. “People get hurt. People upset each other. Relationships take damage. But that doesn’t mean it can’t be rebuilt. Do you know how things like this get fixed? By sitting here, just like we are. By talking. By trying. Remember? Remember how we made love after everything happened? Remember how we reinstated our boundaries and showed how we cared about each other?”

Danny’s shoulders began to shake, hitched breaths breaking from his lips.

“Do you love Arin?”

“I do. I fucking do.” Danny dropped his hands into his lap and looked at the ceiling, tears streaming down his face. “It scares the shit out of me. I don’t know how to do this, Brian. I don’t know how to balance caring about two people like this. I don’t know how to play for keeps. You know that I haven’t had something that lasted longer than six months in years.”

“But it will, this time, won’t it?”

Danny snorted. “It will. Next weekend.” He paused. “...if...if Arin doesn’t just...end it because of this. Fuck, he’s gonna, isn’t he?”

It was impossible to stay clear headed while he watched Danny shake and cry. He’d barely ever seen it before. Only in Danny’s lowest moments, and looking miserable that he’d ever allowed himself to show weakness the entire time. But now? When Brian knew exactly how deeply he loved this man? It was torture. “You don’t know that. He loves you too. We’re going to talk about it, okay? All of us. Just like you and me did.”

Suddenly a burst of unamused laughter broke from Danny’s lips, and he looked at Brian with a grim smile. “It’s always me, isn’t it? It’s always gonna be me dragging this whole damn relationship to a stop. Why can’t it be as easy for me as it is for you two, huh? Why does it have to feel like pulling teeth to get me to be fucking brave when stuff like this happens?” Misery rolled off of him, clouding the room in darkness, and Brian’s hands twitched. “I’m sick of being the idiot that gives you two trouble-”

He couldn’t hold back anymore. Brian dove forward and hugged Danny tight, his heart breaking in his chest. “You’re not an idiot. You’re not. You’re the man we love. Do you hear me? We’d do anything for you. We already have.” Danny grabbed handfuls of Brian’s shirt and soaked through his shoulder with his tears, but he didn’t dream of pulling away. “Don’t you know who you are? Don’t you remember every single time you’ve been a solid fucking rock for Arin or me when we were just friends? When the whole world looked like it was going to fall apart, a-and you just sat there and listened to us and made us laugh so we’d stop freaking out?” Danny couldn’t erase those memories from Brian’s mind no matter how hard he tried. Long nights where Brian had one too many beers and mourned that their music was never going to go anywhere, where Danny so brightly pointed out that at least they were getting to follow their dreams with their best friend. The afternoon Brian had walked in on Arin stressed out about the response they received from one of their videos, and Danny keeping him afloat with jokes and comfort that came so easily to him.

Danny shook his head. “It’s not-”

“It’s that easy. That’s who you are, down to the core of you. You’re not a burden. You’re not trouble. You’re not ruining everything. You just...” He thought of Arin’s impatience and how quickly it had accelerated their relationship together – all three of them – and how, even still, Danny had held in there with them, even though he’d clearly needed so much longer. “...you need time. Don’t you?”

Danny stayed silent.

“You can take as much time as you need to. If you need to step back from our relationship or-”

“No.” Danny furiously shook his head again. “No, I don’t wanna leave you or Arin, I-I just...” He let out a shaky sigh. “I need...to talk to you guys. That’s it, isn’t it? When I’m freaking the fuck out, I need to talk about it, and then I feel better, and bam, it’s magic, it’s done, it’s all better.”

Brian snorted. “I can’t guarantee it’d be that easy, exactly, but...it’s worth trying, isn’t it?” He kissed Danny’s head, flooded with gratitude that his tone was evening out – that he wasn’t trembling anymore. “We can figure out some ground rules. Something you can say if you’re scared and need to talk about something, but don’t know how to do it. We can come over to your side for once instead of dragging you over to ours.”

“Even though it’d piss you both off?”

“It doesn’t piss me off to be patient with you, Danny,” Brian said slowly with a sigh. “I love you. More than I’ve ever loved anybody.”

Danny lifted his head, looking at Brian with watery eyes and tear tracks still shiny down his cheeks. “You mean it?”

“Duh.”

Danny smacked him in the chest, but it made him smile, and that was all that mattered. “I guess I love you too, asshole.”

“Good.” Brian cupped his cheek and pressed a soft kiss to his lips. “You know what you need to do.”

Danny took a deep breath and nodded. “...yeah.”

“I’ll sit right here with you while you do it.”

“No.” Danny pulled away and raked his hair out of his eyes, looking away. “If I’m gonna call Arin, I-I wanna try to do it myself first. Be brave, and all that.” He shot Brian a look. “Exposure therapy, right? That’s what they call it?”

A stunned laugh burst from Brian’s mouth. “Sure? I guess?”

“Okay, then.” Danny pulled his phone out and stared at it. “...God, I hope he doesn’t break up with me.”

“One step at a time. Don’t get stuck in that feedback loop again. I’ll kick your ass.”

“Thanks.” Danny rolled his eyes as he opened his contacts. “As if an old man could kick my ass.”

“You’re only a slightly younger old man.”

“Fuck you.”

Brian laughed as Danny walked into his bedroom and shut the door behind him. Banter was good. Banter meant that Danny was getting his feet on solid ground again. It meant Brian hadn’t fucked up either.

He settled back on the couch and listened to the low, indiscernible murmur of Danny’s voice through the bedroom wall. This new relationship was tricky. Even after all this time together – all these years of knowing each other – it was tough getting it to work. A whole new way of communicating. A hundred ways that things could go wrong.

Or right.

Danny suddenly let out one of his bright, helpless laughs, and Brian closed his eyes. Warmth burst in his chest like a bomb – compersion, he realized, for maybe the first time. Compersion paired neatly with hope. With the idea that things might be okay.

After a few minutes, the door opened and Danny stepped outside, beaming as gave Brian a thumbs up while Arin continued to talk in his ear, and Brian winked at him and watched pink spread through his cheeks.

It was a process, day to day. But they’d get there. They’d figure it out, one step at a time.

It was...embarrassing, Arin seeing his boyfriends again. He spent a solid four straight days making self-deprecating jokes both in and out of videos, and if Brian wasn’t giving him threatening looks through the glass then Danny was reaching over to put a reassuring hand on Arin’s leg.

Just...touching him. No goal in mind. No intent to seduce him. Just keeping a steady line of contact.

Did Danny know how much Arin craved that? How, every time he felt the solid weight of Danny’s touch on his thigh, his fingers went loopy on the controller? How his words took a second to make sense again?

It was a process, and he knew it well. He owed both of them a long explanation about his own past with anxiety and self hatred – but in due time. Unearthing those skeletons wasn’t pleasant around Suzy, who had lived through it, much less two men who had never really had the opportunity to see it. Instead, he had to focus on healing. On...doing better, whatever that looked like.

On Friday, he made a promise to both Danny and Brian that he wouldn’t say anything negative about himself, and they’d given each other conspiring looks all day. He succeeded – and, when everyone was starting to trickle out, Danny caught his hand and grinned and kissed him in front of the whole office. “Your reward,” he’d murmured with pink cheeks and a wink. “I’ll see you for our date tomorrow.” And then he’d left, while Arin stood motionless in the middle of the hallway trying to remember what both of them had even planned over the past few days, much less his own name.

Brian’s reward, as he might’ve expected, was a bit filthier, and involved bending Arin over a console and rimming him until he cried – but it worked. Never had Arin received positive reinforcement that made him jizz all over a desk, and the playful spank Brian gave him as he growled for Arin to clean it up only had him floating that little bit higher.

How easy they both made it to try. It wasn’t hard, now, to imagine a world where he could move forward and never let that sharp paranoia nip at his heels again. Did it still come over him that week? Of course it did, especially in the darkness of his bedroom when he didn’t even have to be asleep to see nightmares of Danny’s mournful face in the pre-dawn light – but Suzy curled closer and murmured something inarticulate and chased the shadows away, just like she always did.

It seemed impossible for a man like Arin to be so lucky in love. But he wasn’t going to second guess it.

“What do you think?” Arin grinned at Danny and leaned against the wall while his lover pulled out the key to his house. “Was that dinner worth six months?”

“I think I ate about six months worth of food,” Danny drawled through a giggle, and Arin warmed. “It’s your fault if I burp all night.”

“Not all night, I hope.”

Danny shot him a look. “Why’s that?”

Arin chuckled. “How else are we gonna hear the movie?”

It was a low key celebration, and Arin was sure that people world over would’ve given them both the side eye for. But only dinner and watching a movie together in Danny’s house worked for them. They had conventions coming up. They had tours to think about. They didn’t have the time or the energy to plan something spectacular and massive.

Besides, time alone together was a gift in and of itself. Danny would see Brian alone on Sunday, and then the three of them were already planning to spent the night together in Danny’s enormous bed on Monday night. They’d make it work, and they wouldn’t waste a second.

A year together? Arin would sweep both Brian and Danny away for a private vacation – just the three of them – but neither of them had to know that yet, now, did they?

As they entered Danny’s house, Arin kicked off his shoes and flopped on the couch with a happy sigh. “You know what you wanna watch, babe?”

All night Danny had been calm, but now that he was home, he seemed a little jumpier than before. Nerves bit at Arin, and he shoved them away, refusing to give into the temptation to be suspicious about if Danny didn’t want him here after all. “Not really.” He waved Arin off. “You just pick something. Anything.”

“Cool. Time to turn you into a weeb!”

“No, your evil plan!”

Arin’s face nearly split open with the force of his grin as he turned on the TV and grabbed a controller to surf through Netflix. He’d barely gotten everything running when Danny sat on the couch watching him.

Arin glanced over. “What?”

“Nothing.” Danny grinned and rubbed the back of his neck. “You just, you look good, that’s all.”

A rare compliment. Maybe it was silly for it to burst like a fire flower in his chest, but Arin stammered with a quiet laugh, looking down at the controller and losing track of what he’d been doing. “Thanks, I guess.”

“Seriously. I like seeing you like this. Smiling. I think I fell in love with your laugh before anything else.”

“I can’t believe I have the Sexbang himself coming onto me.” Making it a joke meant that Danny could pull out when he got too uncomfortable with how deep in he was. It made sense.

But even still, Danny scooted closer until their thighs pressed together, then looped an arm around his neck. “Then I fell in love with the rest of you. And it was pretty fucking sweet.”

Arin shivered. He leaned into Danny, then caught his breath when he was only pulled in a little more. He tucked his legs under him and surrendered to the cuddle as he looked back at the screen.

Danny caught his chin and turned his head slowly, and the heat in his gaze when they locked eyes sent a crackle of lightning straight down Arin’s spine. Danny took a long moment to admire the shape of his lips before he tucked Arin’s hair behind his ear and leaned in.

Arin had expected two things from their inevitable sex tonight – either a lot of laughing and joking around or a sharp, sparking sort of passion. Those were safe for Danny, he’d come to realize over the past few months. Either he could turn his own strong response for Arin into something to tease about, or he could give himself over to it fully like a hurricane so that both of them were sore when it was over.

This slow, languid kissing didn’t fit into either category.

Arin whimpered as he tilted his head to the side, inviting him closer, and Danny hummed in response – but he seemed impervious to Arin’s silent suggestion. He kept the gentle pace steady, and Arin marveled at the simple perfection of how their slick lips moved together without a single interplay between their tongues.

It was...oddly innocent. Curious. Like two teenagers on their first date, not two grown men who knew each other’s bodies like the back of their hand. But, strangely enough, it seemed exactly like what Arin needed. He shivered from head to toe and melted into the cushions, and Danny’s lips quirked into a smile against his own.

After long, agonizing minutes, Arin distantly heard his gaming system turn off from inactivity, and Danny broke the kiss. Was it over, then? Was that all? Arin fumbled for the controller, but it fell to the floor as he gasped when Danny simply turned his head to press three feathersoft kisses over his neck.

“I’ve been looking forward to this all week.” There was a faintly amused tone to his words, and Arin tried to find his intelligent brain to quip back, but all he could manage was a weak moan as teeth nibbled lightly at his skin. “Fuck, you sound so hot...” Danny whispered as he interlaced two of their hands and squeezed.

Incredible, really, how Danny could make him hard in ten seconds flat. His cock had stirred from the gentle kisses, but those words were enough to have him aching in his sweatpants, and he immediately reached and groaned as he pressed the heel of his palm against his hardness.

“Not yet.”

“What?” Arin whined.

Danny bubbled up with laughter as he took Arin’s hand, then looped that arm around his own slender shoulders. “We’re taking our time tonight.”

“Are we?” Arin didn’t mean to sound so breathless, like he’d heard a great secret and his biggest dream combined, but out it came, and he squirmed when Danny chuckled again.

“I’m yours all night.” He thumbed over Arin’s knuckles with a pleased sigh. “And you’re mine.”

Time bled together in a dizzying way as Danny covered Arin’s neck, cheeks, and collarbone with kisses that felt like promises. His skin buzzed, oversensitive, until even the faintest tickle of Danny’s breath could make his hips lurch. If this was Brian, he knew he’d be held down, his wrists pinned to the couch and his legs kicked open so his entire body belonged to him in that moment – but Danny had no such desires. No, he seemed to want to let Arin ride the wave of his teases, shaking and gasping and moaning in turns as he waited for...for anything. Anything that Danny would gift him with.

“Bed?” Arin said once, hopefully, when wiggling made him aware of just how sticky his boxers were from precum.

“Not yet.” Danny sighed. “But...well. I guess we can take a minute and just...” As he trailed off he slid his long, thin fingers into the waistband of Arin’s pants and boxers, then pulled them down in one movement and dropped to his knees on the floor. Arin refused to let himself imagine what this might mean. He never received this from Danny. But there his lover was, looking him in the eye with a smirk as he ran his hands up and down Arin’s bare thighs.

Arin’s cock twitched, and Danny laughed – and then he leaned down.

The kisses began again, one right after the other, leading a smooth line up his legs that had Arin feeling like he’d gone to heaven. He’d always wondered, really, what sort of lover Danny was in the past – his laughter and his primal passion in turns seemed like rare things he might give into with women, especially given the faint misogyny he’d grown out of that might’ve manifested in the past as treating ladies as if they were shrinking flowers. Was this how he’d been with them, then? Slow? Teasing? Gentle?

Danny’s eyelashes fluttered with a shaky sigh, but he turned his eyes to Arin’s cock as he slowly approached it, one kiss at a time, with a certain heat in his gaze that couldn’t be ignored.

No, he wasn’t pretending Arin was someone else – some shadow of the past. He knew exactly who he was with. And he was burning up just like Arin was.

“Danny...” The word slipped out like a prayer. “Please, I-I...”

“Let me take my time.” The statement was easy and unassuming. Rich like honey. As their eyes met Danny smiled. “Let me show you how much I love you.”

Arin whimpered and slouched another inch, feeling like he might melt straight off the couch. This was what he’d wanted all week – wanted and then felt selfish for, after the idle fantasies slipped out of his mind. He couldn’t bear asking for anything like this – and, for the first time, he wondered why. Danny shouldn’t have to read his mind to know that Arin wanted him to take some slow, intimate time with him. Arin needed to tell him what he needed. Right?

He was unimaginably lucky that Danny had even given him the chance, after how Arin had acted. And he’d find a way to repay him in spades.

“Everything still square with testing?” Danny asked absently as he nosed his way along Arin’s sensitive thigh.

Forcing himself to think logically was quite a feat. “Y-yeah, Suzy and me, we, uh, we got tested, um, two weeks ago? Everything’s negative.”

“She’s still good with this? Not using condoms?” Though they’d talked about it in the past, they still rarely did it.

“Yeah, totally.” Arin barked a laugh. “Do you want me to get my phone out and call her and ask for you?”

Danny giggled. “Shut up, I’ve gotta be sure.” Somehow, Danny was the one, no doubt after his former quick series of entanglements, one right after the other, to make sure that everyone continued to check in about fluid bonding with each other – knowing that Suzy especially, not being involved with the two of them, was willing to trust them with unprotected sex with Arin, just like she and him had. It was a small thing, just an indication of how seriously Danny took this commitment – how much he cared about Suzy’s safety and consent as well – and it made Arin’s heart burst with adoration.

“I love you so much,” he whispered, sliding fingers delicately into Danny’s curls.

Danny hummed, his smile softening. “I love you too.”

The long swipe of Danny’s tongue up Arin’s shaft made him shiver, like sweat was breaking out all over his body, and he let out a moan that was just as desperate as he felt. Danny took his time. As if he’d been doing this for years, he suckled his way along Arin’s length with wet kisses, then lapped at the head of his cock over and over again just to turn his blood into lava. Arin twisted on the couch, prepared to be shoved back into place, but Danny only laughed and squeezed his hand around his thigh as he took just the head of Arin’s cock into his mouth.

“You’re so fucking good to me...” Arin went boneless and pliant as Danny slid the tip of his tongue through his slit. Pinpricks of pleasure burst on his skin. “Oh my God-”

Danny moaned around him, vibrations spreading up his shaft. His steadying hand slid down to run a finger over Arin’s balls without a hint of nerves.

Everything really was going to be okay, wasn’t it? Arin trembled with the force of the realization. After months upon months of waiting for Danny to continue his bi crisis and go running, he’d relaxed, and Arin had barely even realized it. What was it that had changed? Arin felt a sparking curiosity rush through him regarding Brian and Danny’s sex life alone behind doors. Had Brian been the one to whisper in Danny’s ear when he was anxious about what they were doing? Had he been Danny’s first in so many experiences and acts, just because it was secure when it was just the two of them?

Arin should feel jealous, he thought – but it never came. His whole soul rose above him, reaching out for Brian’s somewhere in town, effervescently happy. After all this time and all their worries and all of Arin’s fucking impatient prodding, something right had happened, and he felt more grateful than he could say.

Danny began to bob slowly on Arin’s cock, his slick mouth hot and tight around him, and he curled his toes as he groaned in appreciation. Danny seemed to light up from the wordless praise; he sighed and took him just an inch deeper, the fingers on Arin’s hip pillowing in his skin. It was obviously a process – Danny took his time with the blowjob because he had so little experience that he didn’t want to choke himself – but the act itself was immeasurably beautiful to Arin. He didn’t need it to be the best damn blowjob he’d ever had.

He just needed to feel his heart connecting with Danny’s.

“I need you to fuck me,” he said suddenly, before he’d even acknowledged the thought. “I-I need...”

Danny made an amused sound as he pulled off and turned his neck to suck on one of Arin’s balls.

“Fuck!” Arin slammed his head back on the couch. “I-I need t-to...to feel you. All of you. On me.”

With a sigh, Danny nodded. “Motherfucker, I wanted to spoil you, but...”

Arin blinked. “But?”

“...but I need it too.”

Something about the confession made Arin’s heart skip a beat. “Really?”

Danny stood up and pulled Arin to his feet, holding him tightly against his clothed body. “I need to know you forgive me. Really forgive me.”

“I did. I do. I told you, y-you didn’t even do anything I had to forgive--”

“I know you told me.” Danny’s arms tightened just that little bit more. “But I wanna feel it. If...if I can hold you and make love to you...”

Words that he never thought he’d hear Danny say. Words that sounded, somehow, like they didn’t deserve to come out of his mouth. Not with the persona that Danny had so carefully cultivated over years for his career. They sounded almost clumsy – like he hadn’t been expecting to say them – and something about it felt so real – not anywhere near fake, not in the slightest – that Arin’s knees shook. He felt like a corseted woman who hadn’t expected to be proposed to, needing to sit down to take the huge surprises of life, not like a naked man about to explode from the intimacy thick in the room around them.

“Then make love to me.” Arin’s voice shook with emotion, and he felt Danny chuckle quietly in response – like he couldn’t believe it was really something they were saying, admitting. “Fucking do it.”

“Hell yeah.”

Danny took both of Arin’s hands and walked backward through the house, beaming down at him, and it was on its way to being cute as fuck when he tripped over one of Arin’s shoes and sent both of them stumbling. The lightness of their laughter broke the overwhelming tension vibrating in the air as they made their way to the bed and both climbed in.

“You wanna, like, not use a condom here too?” Arin asked curiously.

Danny blinked at him. “You want that?” He couldn’t help but chuckle again. “You want my cum in your ass, dude, really?”

“I mean...” Was that going to gross him out to suggest?

Before Arin could overthink anything in the old, tentative headspace that he was still sorting through, Danny leaned forward and gave him such a dizzying kiss that it bled the thoughts right from his brain. “Yeah, sure, let’s do it.”

“You sure?”

Danny grinned. “Absolutely.”

Arin reached for Danny’s shirt, but he caught his hands and eased him to lay back on the sheets. Danny straddled him and slid his own shirt over his head – like giving him a show, and it was one that Arin was more than happy to watch. He let his gaze rove over Danny’s slender torso, catching on the sparse hairs of his chest, feeling the lurch of his body’s reaction to his lover. The sheer magnitude of his attraction – and how it was okay to feel – took his breath away.

His clothes fell away, little by little, jeans and socks and briefs joining the shirt on the floor, until Danny wrapped a hand around both of their shafts and gently began jerking them off together.

“No, no,” Arin whined, and Danny grinned impetuously. “Fuck me fucking now!”

“Let me take my time with you! God!” Danny hunched down to kiss him, and though Arin had the distinct feeling that it was only to shut him up, he gave in immediately, twisting their tongues together while Danny’s long fingers coaxed ripples of pleasure down his spine.

It nearly didn’t matter how much time he wanted them to take. Arin forced himself to jerk his head back and catch his breath. “I-if you take too much time, I’m...Danny, I’m not gonna last.”

Danny’s eyes widened. “You serious?” His sweet voice carried just a hint of a growl to it, one that rose with every movement of his hand. “You need me that bad?”

Words were impossible to grasp when Danny was hovering over him, his curls illuminated by the light on overhead, his legs tangled with Arin’s. He squeezed his eyes shut and tried desperately to calm down the tidal wave of arousal breaking through his body, but it was impossible. He couldn’t even catch his own breath. For the first time in months, he felt the strength of Danny’s fondness for him one hundred percent. There were no questions of if this was just to get off, or if he was only doing it because Brian was there.

No, this was fucking love, and it was goddamn overwhelming.

“Fuck, that’s hot,” Danny whispered as he leaned in for another kiss. He released their cocks, lathing his tongue over Arin’s bottom lip in silent request for him to open his mouth, and he gave himself up to it with another weak moan. Distantly he heard Danny’s hand open the nightstand and felt something hit the bed.

When he began to pull away, Arin grabbed his arms and whined. “Danny...”

“I’ve gotta finger you, dude,” he said with a chuckle.

“But...” He had the distinct feeling that if Danny pulled away – if their bodies stopped touching – that he might cry. His emotions were ratcheted far too high to come down that easily.

Danny kissed him again, swallowing the sounds he didn’t even realize he was making. “You’re gonna give me an arm cramp. Worth it.” He nudged Arin’s thighs apart with one leg, then half-draped himself over Arin’s torso, their hearts hammering against each other. It was enough for him to rub cold, slick fingers over his hole.

As he began opening Arin up, Danny kissed him with no sense of purpose or rhythm. It was like all he wanted to do was taste him for the rest of their damn lives. Why hurry? Why focus on something else? They’d get where they needed to be eventually.

It had taken them years, but they’d gotten here, hadn’t they?

“You’re so fucking beautiful,” Danny whispered between kisses, and the words sluiced over Arin’s body. “I can’t fucking believe it, babe.”

“Yeah, well, look at you.” Arin cupped Danny’s stubbly cheek with one hand and grinned at him. “Jesus, your eyes are fucking gorgeous.”

Danny’s eyelashes fluttered with pleasure, and Arin filed it away, feeding on it. There was the instinct to feel embarrassed about the words, but...no, no more of that. It was worth it. Every word.

“D’you ever think...” Danny trailed off suddenly as he eased two fingers inside of Arin, glancing away.

Arin held his breath, adjusting, before turning Danny’s face back to look at him. “Think what?”

“I-I just...” He laughed. “This is dumb, with my fingers in your ass and all, but-”

“You’re not dumb. I wanna hear whatever you wanna say.”

Danny closed his eyes, teeth glinting through his sudden beaming smile. “Geez. Uh, I...do you ever think about what it’d be like if this all just...got serious?”

Arin blinked. “It is serious, isn’t it?”

“No, yeah, but I meant, like...like if all of us...”

Arin’s heart beat like a rabbit’s.

“...wouldn’t it be fucking cool if you, me, Brian, and Suzy all just...played house someday? If this just...never stopped?”

Fuck. Fuck. He knew that Danny was just dreaming out loud, like they did sometimes over burgers when they talked about the places they wanted to go on tour and the people they wanted to collab with. He knew that he wasn’t proposing fucking marriage or anything – that being together like this made thoughts and feelings and words rush just that little bit closer toward the surface until it was impossible to hold back. But the fact that it had been on his mind at all was incredible.

He could have a life like that, if all of them wanted it. If they all worked carefully. A place for just him and Suzy, but adding on a place for him and his men, all of them having a future together in a massive house with dreams and love and desires that they didn’t have to think twice about fulfilling.

Danny’s face blurred. Arin sucked in a shaky breath, and when Danny grinned back at him he hugged him tight so his mouth pressed against his ear. “I want you to fuck me like we’re there,” he whispered. “Like...like we’ve got our whole lives together, and we’ve been thinking about each other all day, and we just got back to our home, and Brian and Suzy are making dinner, and we just...we...”

“Yeah,” he whispered back. He shifted his fingers, dragging them over Arin’s prostate, and as he gasped and arched his back Danny kissed his cheek. “Fuck, I love you.”

“Love you too,” Arin barely managed to say before a tear slid down his cheek. He was being a huge baby, and he knew it, and he loved every second of it. He could be vulnerable here. He could know that Danny wanted these things, even just in a distant corner of his mind – that he fantasized about possibly having a whole life with Arin outside of work. That he wasn’t just looking for a way out.

Without asking if he was ready – just by reading his body and his moans – Danny shifted and pushed his cock inside of him, rolling his hips in slow, shallow thrusts as he worked deeper and deeper in. Arin clung to him. He wrapped his thighs around his slender hips and squeezed, arms so tight around him that Danny couldn’t slip away. “You feel so good,” Danny gasped.

Arin groaned in response, his eyes rolling back as he basked in the sensation. This slow push and pull, it felt real, tethering him to reality. He didn’t need anything else. He didn’t need to come. He just needed to feel the weight of Danny on his body and the way that they were joined and how every one of their cells felt like they were tingling and waiting to press together.

He drowned in the ragged, wet breaths Danny let out near his ear. He reveled in how Danny bottomed out, his hips flush against him, and how he hesitated there, like he never wanted to leave. He melted as Danny kissed over his neck, and as he squeezed around his lover’s cock he grinned when he felt him shiver from head to toe.

“Love you, I love you so much, I’ll never stop...” The words slipped from Danny’s lips as he began moving again, picking up his pace with hips that stuttered every time that Arin gripped him just that little bit tighter inside. The words knit something over Arin’s weary brain – like a blanket that fit snugly around the parts of him that had been so panicked at the beginning of the week.

“Don’t, don’t stop,” Arin begged on a gasp. The words only egged Danny on. He wrapped his arms around Arin, lifting him slightly off of the mattress; with their bodies pressed together, he could only pull an inch or two out of him, and he began to chase his release, their skin slapping together with the sudden rhythm he took. “Oh God-”

“Fucking beautiful,” Danny gritted out, his words shaking with the force of his thrusts.

It was everything. They were everything. Arin couldn’t hold back his litany of moans as he fixated every ounce of his focus on Danny – and he let out a sharp cry when he felt him come. His cock twitched inside of him, filling him up little by little, and Arin melted into the sheets, feeling utterly taken and desired and claimed-

“I’m a fucking selfish asshole,” Danny whispered barely a second after, not even tasting his afterglow before he lifted away just enough to shove between them and jerk Arin’s cock.

“D-don’t you fucking, don’t apologiz- shit…” Arin’s entire body began tingling, and he fought through it to speak. “I love this, I love you.”

“Couldn’t help myself.” Danny kissed him, still buried deep inside of him, his hand practically stripping his cock raw. “Needed you.”

And Arin had needed to be needed. He couldn’t verbalize it, not when he suddenly spilled in Danny’s hand with his name on his lips. Every part of him blurred into white hot pleasure, and he basked in it, trembling and gasping, until he slowly began to come down, right back into Danny’s arms.

“Jesus,” Arin whispered with a sleepy smile. “What the fuck, how am I supposed to go home tonight after that?”

“Don’t.” Danny lifted his head and watched him. “Don’t, just stay here. Text Suzy and let her know. Please.”

Never once had Danny practically begged for Arin to stay with him. He’d always smiled and kissed him and helped him get cleaned up and sent him home. Had he always wanted Arin to stay? Had he just been too afraid to ask?

“You sure?” Arin wiped what he realized with a shock was a tear track from Danny’s cheek.

Danny nodded. “Absolutely.”

After a long moment of drinking Danny in, Arin launched himself out of the sheets, falling straight onto his hands and knees, and Danny burst out laughing behind him as he scrambled to his feet. “You’re so stupid!” Danny called after him, and Arin grinned over his shoulder in good humor just before he disappeared into the living room to find his phone.

It was worth it. All the pain, all the fear, all the wondering and confusion. With Suzy’s sweet words of love, acceptance, and her invitation for him to have fun nestled in his mind, Arin crawled back into bed and wrapped every limb around Danny. He’d never take advantage of this feeling. He’d never forget it. He’d spend the rest of his life holding it close, as long as Danny held him just as tightly back.

#shipgrumps #polygrumps #egobang #polybomb #fanfic #filled commission #old wounds heal slowly

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wheresmogs-blog · 5 years

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Bogi’s dream came true: we visited a coffee farm

Laos probably doesn’t spring to mind when you think of coffee, but it’s the world’s 22nd biggest coffee producer, and coffee is a key part of everyday life - something I was very pleased to see upon arrival. In Luang Prabang and the capital Vientiane there are plenty of swanky coffee shops to choose from, and they all proudly serve Lao coffee. It actually made me think, how it nice it must be to live in a country that grows its own coffee, as opposed to having to import it, which obviously makes your cuppa more expensive and a lot worse for the environment. The lucky Lao!

Coffee is one of the very few things the Lao can thank the French for. As colonisers go, the French were rather useless: they built no infrastructure, no schools, they simply invaded Laos because it’s wedged between strategically more important countries they also wanted to invade. That aside, the clever French figured that the Bolaven Plateau in Southern Laos, with its volcanic soil and hot climate, is ideal for growing coffee plant. Merci guys.

I first read about Mr Khamsone’s coffee farm tour on a blog as we were researching Laos (because, quite frankly, we knew very little about the country). With great skill, I managed to convince MJ to come back to Laos after travelling through the North of Vietnam - not knowing that this will manifest in a gruelling, 24 hour journey that would see us being dropped off a sleeper bus at 4:30 am at some unattractive town’s Soviet-inspired bus station, then standing on the side of a road in hope of being picked up by another bus that would actually take us to Laos.

It’s gonna be worth it, when we get there! - I kept saying to the man who can’t even drink coffee.

Anyway, we made it back to Laos, and the next day we were on our way to a village called Paksong, to meet Mr Khamsone. He said he’d pick us up in his jeep to take us to his coffee farm - and so he did, rocking up at our meeting point like some bad ass chauffeur in what turned out to be a 70 year old Chinese jeep. Despite its appearance (think WWII tank) it did a pretty good job at tackling the infamous Laos ‘roads’. We were given huge plastic bags and medical masks (always a good sign when getting into a random person’s car) to protect our bags and lungs from ‘The Dust’. The beauty of this part of the world is that you’ve got 2 options: in dry season it’s the omnipresent Dust that gets into everything and sticks brilliantly to sweaty skin, or in the rainy season the roads become so muddy that you can’t get anywhere.

The thoughtful Mr Khamsone’s itinerary really took the sweat and dust situation into consideration, and so our first stop was at a remote waterfall where we could go for a refreshing swim. Then we were taken to another waterfall, this time parking our jeep in the water because, why not. We got into the lake and swam through the cascade of water into a little cave, which turned out to be more challenging than we’d thought: the sheer power of the water creates a strong ‘wind’ that pushes you away, and the closer you get, the louder it becomes.

After all the aquatic fun, we drove to a nearby village where literally everyone makes a living from coffee. This time of the year is great for visiting as we could see the various parts of the process all around the village: freshly picked coffee berries were laid out to dry in the sun; some people were operating a rather DIY looking machine getting the dried skin off the beans, others were sitting on the ground sorting through bags of green beans and categorising them, hand-picking the best ones and discarding the ones that have even a tiny bit of defect.

Walking through the village, the labour intensive nature of growing coffee really hit us: you realise how much work goes into a single cup of coffee, how many hands touch the humble bean before it even gets sold to roasters, and then to coffee shops. When your barista hands you your £2.50 flat white in a painfully cool cafe in Central London (like I used to do), you don’t think of the farmers growing the beans, whose name might be mentioned somewhere, but you’re even less likely to think of the dozens of anonymous workers who nurtured, picked, processed and selected the beans so that you can face the day and the numerous pointless meetings you’ll have. And I guess that’s fine - as long as these people are paid and treated fairly.

In this part of Laos, both Robusta and Arabica varieties are grown. The cheaper and stronger Robusta tends to stay in Laos and is consumed by the locals, while the more expensive and high maintenance Arabica is exported, mainly to the neighbouring countries. There’s more money in Arabica but it also needs a lot more care and attention, so it’s a bit riskier. Mr Khamsone tells us how in 2014 he lost a lot of money when 6 hectares of his coffee farm was hit by frost. Since then, all his coffee plants are grown in the shade, protecting them from extreme temperatures.

After a delicious home made lunch at Mr Khamsone’s house, we were shown around the coffee farm itself - a much awaited highlight of the day. I’d never been to a coffee farm in my life, in fact, I’d never seen a coffee plant in its natural habitat, so I was well excited. Drinking my post-lunch coffee whilst walking around the plantation where is was grown, it was like Christmas for me.

The farm itself is truly beautiful. It spreads over 16 hectares on the slope of a small hill. Just like a well-maintained vineyard, the trees are planted in neat rows, each one exactly 2.5 metres from the other. What makes the farm particularly pretty is the acacia trees that are planted purposefully to create a canopy over the coffee plants and protect them from the heat and cold.

I can only imagine how nice it all looks with the berries still on the plants, but the harvest had happened a few weeks ago so it was all just beautiful green.

After the tour of the plantation and a gentle hike to the hill, we returned to the farm to roast some coffee. At this point I was properly taken back to my dad’s place in Hungary, where he makes his famous (infamous?) palinka, a punchy fruit brandy many of my friends are familiar with. He distills them from various fruits in the back of his garden, and whilst the process is 100% legit and he knows what he’s doing, it does look a bit home-made. No fancy equipment or sterile labs, just basic tools and a lot of expertise.

Standing in Mr Khamsone’s back yard in rural Laos, I got a sense of admiration - in the middle of nowhere, this guy has built himself a coffee roasting machine. It’s a clever piece of Lao engineering: a massive metal drum rotated above a grill that is fuelled by gas from a canister. I got to contribute to the process by expertly managing the handle that rotates the drum.

In a more professional environment you’d time the roasting and you’d have a little window allowing you to see how the beans are doing in there, but Mr Khamsone is a man who doesn’t need all that fancy tech. He knows when his coffee is ready by the smell alone.

He explained the different phases of roasting to us: first it smells like popcorn, then in 5-10 minutes it’s like a bakery, then chocolate, and finally, at about 15 minutes, it smells like what it is: freshly roasted coffee.

Opening the roasting drum, it again felt like Christmas Day. The beans were now dark brown, shiny, slightly smaller than before, and they smelt amazing. Sadly we couldn’t try them as they needed to rest and release some CO2 for a few days. But we did get a bag of beans roasted a couple of days before, to take with us.

Before we finished our tour and headed back to Paksong, we walked through another part of the village and chatted about Mr Khamsone’s plans. He wants to build couple of bungalows above his farm, on top of the hill, so his guests can enjoy the amazing view. He even talks about a yoga retreat. While he’s happy to see more tourists visiting his farm and the area, he’s strongly against tour agencies bringing in big groups of tourists. We totally understand why he’s keen to keep his tour small scale and intimate.

We feel lucky to have had such an authentic experience, and got a glimpse of how some Laos farmers and rural people live their lives. From a tourism point of view, Laos is still less popular than its neighbours (being landlocked sucks! Take it from a Hungarian) but there’s so much to see and experience there, and the people are absolutely amazing; one of the friendliest, most relaxed people we’ve met. We feel that as a country still recovering from a devastating war that saw the US bombing it for 9 years, Laos deserves the attention of the world. So if you ever get a chance to visit this part of Asia, give Laos a chance.

Or just look out for Lao coffee in your local coffee shop.

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todaysbiggesthits · 5 years

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The Exam

Best Music Moment of 2018:

Nasty: Hearing Red Eyes live. I've already said it on TBH, but seeing your favorite band in their relative prime is such a cool thing.

BC: Since partying all night with my favorite band fell within the short window between Bestuv '17 ending and Bestuv '18 beginning, I'd have to say:

1. Kacey Musgrave's performance of "Slow Burn" on SNL

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2. Radiohead perfectly executing "There There" which transported me back to Lollapalooza in '08 3. Despite the annoyance of sitting in lots of Indy500 traffic due to a new parking situation, I quite enjoyed working through half of the Stones' catalogue with Bronco riding shotgun and Codemin listening in from the flatbed of Dillon's pickup

Codem: Spending what was New Year's Eve for the central timezone in the USA at a Fijian medical bath facility listening to music, playing cards, downing tequeel and getting ringworm with my blushing bride. -hearing peter hook play the bass line from shadowplay live and in person. -Arden, JD and JJ encouraging me to go talk to Kyle from Swearin'. -Silver Jews and Westing (By Musket and Sextant) came to Spotify. -Watching "Random Rules" video for the first time

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Larse: Sitting behind this massive (I mean orca fat) guy at the CHVRCHES show, feeling really bad for him before the show started because he was all alone and kept looking around and worrying about letting people in his row and things. As soon as CHVRCHES came on though, this guy was exactly where he was supposed to be that night. Sang the words and danced to every song and just made my day with how happy he was to be there. Jotted down every song of the setlist into his smartphone and just had an all around great time. And some of you motherfuckers won't even go to a movie by yourself!

JD: May: A moody Chinatown stroll with the new Grouper album in the rain. July: Soaking up some good tunes at the housewarming party to ring in our new pad. July: Some hilariously rambunctious youths having at it when “House of Jealous Lovers” came on during a full play of Compilation 1 at the DFA summer party. One of them (who must have been ~8 in the bygone days of 02) screamed out “this is the song that started it all!” to a crowd of stationary gawkers and I felt a brief moment of hope for the youngs. August: Shaking a leg at Pete’s wedding (also featuring a delightful hojl spin). September: A rowdy spin of “Sentient Oona” on the Levee juke with an impromptu digital jukebox dance party at the Turkey’s Nest with jj’s cousin and his lovely girlfriend. October: The best music cue I’ve ever seen at the end of Beau Travail.

Bronco: Taking John to his first concert, and that first concert was Mastodon. That was pretty awesome to be able to share that experience with him. He was super into it, and so were the metalheads at the show. "Dad of the Year" was definitely shouted more than a few times, and I thought to myself, "fuckin-A right."

Chap: My kids saying "Papa" when "She Drives Me Crazy" by Fine Young Cannibals comes on.

Best Shows Seen in 2018:

C: Open Mike Eagle at Pitchfork

Bronco: Sleep

Laser: CHVRCHES at Riverside Theater; Chromeo at Summerfest

BC: The Brian Jonestown Massacre, Radiohead

Nasty: The War on Drugs.

Code: kraus - schubas peter hook - metro no age - the bottle swearin' - bowery eleanor friedberger - lincoln hall my bloody valentine - aragon "quickly climbing the ranks of my nice" ballroom kraus - the bottle pictureplane - bottom lounge soft moon - the bottle book of love - chop shop

JD: 1. Shame at Market Hotel 2. Hamilton Leithauser at the Carlyle Hotel 3. Beach House at United Palace Theater 4. The Voidz at Elsewhere 5. Parquet Courts’ Wide Awake! mid-day album release show with my morning coffee at Rough Trade

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6. Flasher at St. Vitus 7. Deafheaven at Brooklyn Steel 8. Panda Bear at Brooklyn Steel 9. No Age at Brooklyn Bazaar 10. CCFX at the DFA summer party at Elsewhere with my girlfriend in full blown rem sleep standing up with her head on my shoulder 11. Alex Cameron at Warsaw 12. Gang Gang Dance and Interpol at House of Vans Of note: Dekkar at On Cinema Live at the Bell House.

Confession of 2018:

JD: I have a real TBH confession that I held until now. I was thoroughly enjoying the Flasher album on a recent evening after a few too many drinks when a burning urge to see them washed over me. They had a show coming up at a bar just a few blocks from my apartment, so I enthusiastically snapped up tickets for me and jj. Thinking this might be a good opportunity for a TBH outing, I emailed Chap trying to peer pressure him into attending the Flasher show and gauging his interest in a Parquet Courts concert that would be happening the following evening. No response.

We later received an invitation to a holiday cocktail party at a friend’s apartment on the same night as the Flasher show, and I hatched a cockamamie scheme to go from our home in Greenpoint to the party in Soho, leave after an hour to catch the concert back in Greenpoint, head back to the party in Soho, and finally retire back to Greenpoint. JJ wisely passed on such a scheme and I left the party to trek off to the concert solo with an extra ticket in tow.

Awash in good cheer and excitement while Flasher set up, I thought what the hell, might as well take a flier on reminding Chap of the show. Maybe the twins are asleep, he’s just sitting around, can jump into a cab, claim the extra ticket, watch the show, and cruise on back. Mid-text I paused, wondering just why he never responded to the initial email weeks ago. A quick gmail search, and there sat my drunkenly composed beseechment to join, rotting in the drafts folder unsent.

A couple of the dudes from Parquet Courts were bouncing around the bar, and I decided it would make more sense to hit up Chap about attending their show the next day than explain the whole snafu and extend a ludicrous invitation that required dropping everything and leaving immediately for a show he didn’t even know was happening. I ate the extra ticket, had a blast watching Flasher, zipped back to the party, drank myself into oblivion, and was way too hung over to even consider the Parquet Courts show the next day. NICK SORRY NICK! (editor’s note: too long)

Larson: I saw Timberlake at Fiserv Forum

BC: My neighbor invited me to see Imagine Dragons. I lied and said I had to travel for work. "On a Saturdee?" he inquired. "Yeah. Totally sucks," I awkwardly replied. I hid inside my house all weekend.

Bronco: I'd rather see shows by myself than with my buddy. He likes going to shows, and I keep inviting him, and we have a fine time, but he doesn't live in town anymore, so I gotta worry about him drinking too much and driving an hour home. And his wife is a psychopath and that complicates shit. Too much. And it's just so much more freeing being able to not give a fuck about anyone else during that time, to just soak it all in, it feels good and right.

Codem: -despite all of the bad things that kanye said, i still liked listening to his catalogue throughout the year. i even liked his EP that came out in 2018. -i really liked the beach house album! -i liked the snail mail album, skipped two opportunities to see her and then by --the end of the year, i thought the album was sort of boring. -Arden and i went to see pictureplane open for alice glass and thought that the show sucked and pictureplane played such stupid songs. three months later, he put out my favorite album of the year and i can't stop thinking that i hated all of the same songs the first time i heard them. -i read an article on a bright fall saturday morning that exhaustively detailed the Cardi B and Nicki Minaj feud and i watched all of the instagram story clips that showed Cardi B scrolling through her phone with those outlandish nails of hers. it took me two cups of coffee to get through it all, but get through it i did. [i couldn't think of nicki minaj's name just now so i stared at the ceiling and kept running through names in my mind's eye: missy, kim, cardi, kelis, kim??, eve, trina. i couldn't remember. so i finally googled "kanye monster" and found her name. easy.]

Nasty: I'm done with new music. It’s over. I didn't listen to a single new album - I don't even know if I could name a new album. Realistically, I did like Daytona.

Biggest Disappointment of 2018:

Nasty: MAGA Kanye

Larse: Timberlake at Fiserv Forum

Bronco: Black Tusk, Alice in Chains

BC: Getting into The Orwells literally two days before #MeToo chewed 'em up and spit 'em out

Chap: Car Seat Headrest. Can't believe he's gay! jk the album was the disappointment.

Code: -somebody hacked my spotify account and wiped all of my music and replaced it with raggaeton and halsey. i was able to get my music back, but i lost all of my meticulously cared for folder structure. -i wanted the simple minds album to be cool; it was not. -i wanted the swearin' album to be really great; it was okay. -pictureplane and ovlov did not tour their albums. -i had to eat two tickets to my bloody valentine after buying four. the original show sold out and i thought i was going to be able to sell my extras for a profit -- they ended up announcing a second show and there was no secondary market for the original show. -no CCFX followup ):

JD: Got to Hammerstein Ballroom for MBV and there was a line longer than an entire avenue. They were already on by the time we made it into the heinously oversold venue and we were stuck by the bar in the lobby surrounded by people constantly shouting in an effort to compete with the apocalyptic noise.

C: Terrible sound at Tame Impala show

Most Overrated of 2018:

Code: -probably that kacey musgraves album; i got absolutely nothing out of it. also, i liked the robyn album, but i wanted to love it after many years between releases. i think i'm just being greedy. -i'm going to get killed for this, but the throwing the baby out with the bathwater approach to artists' criminal behavior or inflammatory tweets is pretty overrated right now.

Bronco: Ghost - I like their schtick, with rotating members and the whole inverted church thing. It's campy but they're sticking to it, and that's fine, but their music isn't metal. It's poppy glam shit about the devil, and that's also fine, but I don't get why it's on anyone's list. Production value maybe? But the music itself isn't anything to write home about. I just don't get it.

JD: n/a. The thick layer of nonsensical, Pynchonian obfuscation the platform economy dollops over everything has made it impossible to understand how anything is rated. Almost feel bad for the click driven publications that have to just throw out a guess.

C: Mitski

Chap: Snail Mail

BC: Kanye. His new music is no longer good enough to put up with his bufoonery.

Laser: Timberlake at Fiserv Forum

Nasty: Clemson. GOARSH.

Make It Stop 2018:

Nasty: DJT, anytime now.

Bronco: Party politics. No more labels allowed. You can have a list of stuff you support and a list of stuff you are against, but that's fucking it. No more this side vs that side for reasons as caddy as an R vs. a D. Also religion having any influence whatsoever in the way our country is run. Believe whatever you want to believe, but don't force your bullshit on anyone else. You want to torment yourself with a lifelong christian guilt trip, that's your boat to float, but don't go poking holes in my boat just because you're a miserable fuck. Just stop. Also, Jack White.

Larse: Timberlake at Fiserv Forum

Chap: Baby Shark

BC: My shrinking attention span

JD: The cultural currency of clapbacks, shade, and tea.

Code: trap music playing from a phone's external speaker while i'm trapped on public transportation. i'm going to go broke buying enough earbuds to distribute to these offenders.

Biggest TBH Regret of 2018:

Larse: Timberlake at Fiserv Forum

C: Not seeing Low at a church on University of Chicago's Campus

JD: -Hearing about a Grouper show at a church around the corner from my pad after it sold out. -Not necessarily a regret because I didn’t know it was happening, but oh how I wish I had seen Jon Glaser and Jon Benjamin as Dave Farina and Dave Franz, Dennis and Dennis’ sons, at a Bowery Ballroom Yo La Tengo show.

BC: -I wish I would've cooked up a way to see Shame play a midnight show in Bloomington. I just want that kid to scream "Concrete" in my face. -I probably should've seen Smashing Pumpkins when they rolled through town too.

Code: my flight got delayed and i missed the swearin' show at that place in brooklyn that "smelled like hot fish"

Bronco: Not a regret so much as I was super-bummed when High on Fire dropped out of the tour I saw in November. The venue we were at put my buddy and I right next to the stage. It would've been crazy awesome to see HOF there, but they've rescheduled at least, and I'll see them in January.

Bin: I haven't listened to any Kanye this year. I thought it would feel gratifying by year end - it doesn't. I'll probably still avoid this most recent album, but I'm going back to the well. I'll continue to talk shit about him though. Take that Ye!

Chap: No regrets

Detective Murtaugh of 2018:

Larse: Getting too old to keep up with all of this new music and put a worthwhile list together at the end of the year…

Nasty:

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Code: i added book of love show to my top ten concert list because Arden and i were able to take a seat on the ground in the balcony section. we had to continually move our spot on the floor to be able to peer through the railing and a mass of bodies in order to catch a glimpse of the stage.

JD: -Two of my favorite music related experiences of the year were seeing Hamilton Leithauser in the cafe of the Carlyle Hotel and the extended Niles family in The Nutcracker at the NYC Ballet. -When I googled “Detective Murtaugh” just now it was mostly pictures of Damon Wayans (Jr. no less!) playing the role on the Lethal Weapon CBS series.

Bronco: Putting up with shit instead of speaking up about it. There's room on the train but I'm squished by the door because some self-absorbed dinks won't move in? "Could you please move in?" It sounds so simple, but breaking that silence barrier was a scary thing. Now I don't give a shit. I'm on train for two stops, and I'm not going to see you again, so fuck you, move in or I'm going to move myself in and it aint gonna be pleasant for you.

Chap: A hipster female barber said I was a silver fox. AYFKM?

BC: What the hell is Fortnite?

Resolution for 2018 Update:

Larse: get my list in on time! How it went: probably horseshit! (editor’s note: it was early yet!)

NACK: While I didn’t have the occasion to catch shows this year, I anticipate doing so in '18 due to some changes afoot. How it went: Joe Dons has yet to let me know of a concert going on and I have no other friends here, so I blame him for my failure

Bin: I’m just going to keep saying “get to NY for a show with JD” until I make it happen. How it went: Didn't get to NY for a show with JD.

JD: See you gents more often with or without a show attached. How it went: Fairly decent, but is it really ever enough?

Bronco: Get in shape. I want to stick to a schedule of running all year round. I ran a 10K back in June, then needed to recover for a bit, been recovering ever since…Fat Dad needs to keep running all year round without excuse, especially given that we go skiing between Xmas and New Year’s and I’m gonna be a floppy legged mess. During those runs, I’ll try to listen to new material each time. How it went: I ran a 5-miler in May. Haven't run since. Though I have been reasonably consistent with my prison workout (situps and pushups before bed time), so now there's a hint of muscle under my fat dad layer. Just gotta combine the two now somehow.

Code: make more playlists for my wife How it went: i said that i was going to make more mixes for my wife. i made one year-end mix for her and i'm sure she's loving it :*

BC: No more resolutions How it went: 2018 Resolution was "No More Resolutions," so pretty darn good!

Resolution for 2019:

Laser: ---

BC: Listen to one new album a week; reboot the Classic Album Review Club

JD: Greater consciousness of how I’m using my attention - an ineffectual and meaningless protest of the ways the world is burning down in pursuit of it.

Bronco: Read more 'classic' books. I didn't read many of them, even in school (especially in school? Never could read a book I was told to read). But I'm leaning in the sci-fi direction of 'classics'. I just read Dune this summer, and wrapped up Fahrenheit 451 the other day. I'm feeling an unexplained need to beef up my nerd credentials and this seems the way to accomplish it.

Chap: Learn Piano; Guilt Joe Dons into finally inviting me to a concert

Nasty: I'm sticking with it - get to NY for a show with JD.

Code: catch ovlov, pictureplane, washer, chromatics, EMA and colleen green live this year.

Most Anticipated of 2019:

Bronco: Tool. Fifth year's the charm. I'm actually hopeful this time around. In fact, I half expect them to drop it on New Year's Eve or something, just so it's post Listicle season, but not quite 2019 so it can't end up on those lists either. They're such dicks like that.

BC: Still waitin' on dat Vampire Weekend yet

Chap: Vampire Weekend, Chromatics

C: Lin Manuel in Mary Poppins... I kid, My Bloody Valentine

JD: Going to put Frank Ocean out into the universe, MBV take 2, Grimes, Panda Bear, Kanye’s escape from the Black Lodge

Codem: chromatics - tommy, MBV, washer, colleen green, EMA(?), DoM

Laser: no idea what's even on the docket

Nasty: Mueller's Report

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seouldsoul2kpop · 6 years

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Earned It

7 Days of Christmas: Day 7- Taehyung

Day 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7

Warning(s): Smut

A/N: The Final day of 7 Days of Christmas is here!! This has been really fun, and thank you to everyone who took the time to read each story; I truly appreciate it! I hope you enjoy Taehyung’s first fanfic, and of course, please let me know what you think! Merry Christmas!!!!

You stared at the blinking cursor on your computer, wondering how long it would take you before you actually typed a decent sentence. You’d originally strove for a couple paragraphs, heck, you even strove for the whole article, but as the minutes ticked away in the recesses of your mind, your ambition had dwindled into an acceptance of one sentence at a time, and you were on the verge of at least accepting a word. You sighed, feeling the weight of the world caving in on you as you leaned forward on your desk, covering your face, rubbing away at the tiredness in your eyes.

How many times would you have to write this article? How many times would you have to reword the same details before it would become an acceptable piece of work? You’d slaved over the original piece, dedicated a solid month to getting the facts right, and for what? A slap on the wrist, a scolding on the principles of journalism, a dismissal on the hours you’d spent working your way to where you were now? You had established that you weren’t good enough, that you’d never be good enough to work your way up to editor because of him…he would always be better than you.

You lowered your hands, timidly turning your head to look over your shoulder at his empty desk, his light still on, but his presence nowhere to be found. You peered at his computer, sitting idly on his desk, flipping through an array of pictures of the adventures he’d gone on for the paper, and the friends he’d made—the coworkers who shared an uncanny admiration for the journalist who could do no wrong. You clenched your fists on your desk, quickly turning your gaze away from him, staring a hole into the dull gray of your desk.

Your nails were digging into your skin, reminding you how fragile you were, and it only made you dislike him even more. What did he have that you didn’t? What could he do that you couldn’t? Why was he perfect while you were nothing more than a shadow of someone who could have been him, but truly wasn’t? You did everything, you did the research, you went to all the meetings, met with all the right people to conduct all the right interviews; you worked yourself to the bone, begging for the chance to write the story of your dreams, but all he had to do was ask, give an innocent smile, whisper an innocent joke, be the person you weren’t, and he’d get all the chances of a lifetime. And you worked just as long as him, studied even harder than him, but it was all so natural to him. You hated that you hated him, but you couldn’t help it.

You took in a deep, shaky breath as your eyes began to sting, and you tilted your head back, pushing back the unfairness. Reality sucked, but you didn’t want to cry about it because your pride didn’t want someone like him to win when you worked the hardest; you spent grueling hours after your shift was over in the same chair, at the same boring desk, soaking in the same stuffy heat. You didn’t get paid enough for this, or get enough recompense for the hours of mental labor you quietly endured. How much longer would you have to remain nice, hold your tongue, accept fluff pieces you didn’t care for, brew coffee for the first comers, and be the full-time assistant, secretary and journalist?

You swallowed back the bitterness tickling your throat, and in turn, you stared up at the browning water stain above your desk. It’d been there since you got there, part of you blamed it for all your misfortune as if it marked you as the scapegoat, or clouded all that you achieved with a simple glance. Maybe it was an omen silently telling you you’d be nothing more than this desk, this position, a punching bag for all the burdened souls that were also condemned to similar misfortunes as you. You closed your eyes, unable to stop a couple of tears from escaping. You wanted to sit there, to accept you were utterly defeated, but a pair of soft footsteps echoed through the empty office, forcing you to sit back up. Taking in a deep breath, you leaned forward, quickly wiping away at your face with the sleeves of your oversized sweater as the person came to a standstill somewhere close behind you.

“Y/N, are you alright?”

You nodded your head, acknowledging the office cleaning lady, a woman you had become close with as a result of your need to work overtime every day of the week. You could hear the uncertainty in her silence, feel her eyes peering at you from behind for a long while; she didn’t believe you were alright, and you didn’t blame her because nothing was alright about the years you’d spent ignoring your youth for a job that could care less if you quit. You turned to her, resting your chin in the palm of your hand, nodding once more, giving her a small smile, and the best attempt at being the cheerful person you were whenever you spoke with her. She was staring at you, her wrinkles deepening the longer she silently pondered if you were truly as okay as you told her you were.

After a long moment, she nodded, sighing into the quiet, humid air of the office after hours, and she smiled brightly for you; you could tell she was trying to lift your spirits.

“You should go home. You work yourself too hard, Y/N. You’ll have a clearer head in the morning with a good night’s rest, and a nice cup of tea, or whatever you kids drink to calm your nerves these days. I, myself, prefer a good bottle of soju,” she paused, hesitating a little, an innocent twinkle in her eyes, “Or maybe some company?”

You let out a soft, somewhat nervous chuckle, seeing the obvious implications of her words, but the small weight lifted from her presence quickly dissipated as her words rung in your ears, the sullen truth sinking in before you could stop it. You shook your head, silently coming to terms with the facts.

“I think I’ll stay for a bit longer…maybe something will come to me.”

She nodded, a look of sadness, potentially sympathy in her eyes.

“Okay, but don’t stay too late, alright?”

“Mmm,” you hummed.

You got to your feet, bowing to her, waving her off as she was lucky enough to retreat to the streets, breathing the cool winter air of the night, and finding her way home where she was free to relax and unwind from the stresses of her unforgiving day job. You sighed as soon as she was out of your sights, once more rubbing your eyes as you plopped down into your desk chair again, the force making you knock the wheels against your cubicle.

You were relieved to finally be alone, to finally have the kind of quiet that helps the greatest writers achieve a piece of work they can be totally proud of. You reached forward, gripping the edge of your desk as you pulled yourself closer, crossing your legs comfortably in a pretzel in the confines of your small chair, and you exhaled, deciding in your mind to crack down, and write the way you were meant to, not the way you wanted to.

Your fingers hovered over your keyboard as you swallowed, fully prepared to achieve the sentence you imagined you’d write a few hours ago, but your mind was a blank space, as empty as the open word document on your laptop, and as barren as the rows of currently unoccupied desks. You slowly clenched your fists against your keyboard, your mind coaxing you to give up, and write words that meant nothing to you, while your heart told you to try one more time—maybe this time your editor would like it…maybe this time you wouldn’t have to pretend you’d spent less time on the article than you actually had…maybe this time his story wouldn’t make the front cover over yours.

You couldn’t get over how much you hated yourself for being jealous of him, for despising his purity, and his ease of charm. You hated being one of those people, the outsider who hates the star of the show because you believe you see that person’s true colors while everyone else is living in the lie. But the truth was obvious, he was undeniably good, and you were undeniably desperate to feel what it was like to be rewarded for your efforts, to be praised when you’ve done your very best. Was that too much to ask?

You were adrift in your thoughts, dazed by the cursor blinking at a steady rhythm, silently hypnotizing you into a deeper, darker hole that grew with every breath, every tick, every calculated moment you went without writing a word, a sentence, an article to be skipped over in the papers latest edition. You were so far gone, too far gone to remind yourself that you weren’t truly alone as the sound of calm footsteps weaved their way through the entire office to the desk adjacent to you, the very desk you despised even when he wasn’t there to occupy it.

His eyes drifted over your body, watching as you stared into the depths of your computer screen, a screen that was filled with nothing but white, and a taunting cursor that should have been directing the course of your words, but instead, it was haunting your very existence. He could see the desperation in your eyes even as your mind was somewhere else. He couldn’t help himself from wondering why you worked so hard, why you tried to produce perfect articles at every chance you got, why you stared at him like he was the root cause of your torment when you thought he wouldn’t notice.

He could tell you hadn’t noticed him walk in, or else you would have moved, or done something to get out of having a conversation with him. He didn’t know if he should make a noise, or say something to you to console the dark thoughts so clearly drowning you. He hesitated, staring at your back, scanning the deep burgundy of your oversized sweater as it did little to hide the tension coveting your body. He opened his mouth to say something, his whole body telling him different things—his mind whispering to be rational, leave things as they are, his heart wanting to console you, and everything you continuously endured. However, a part of him he didn’t want to admit to stirred with intentions he’d never had the chance to voice out loud.

He wanted to do the right thing, but he couldn’t do that if you wouldn’t let him. He cautiously stepped forward, still keeping a comfortable distance from you as he cleared his throat. You flinched slightly, quickly turning in your chair to see the person you’d somehow forgotten, to acknowledge everything you’d been avoiding up until this point. You swallowed hard, the silent resentment keeping you from speaking as you looked him over, fitted in a white button up you could tell was a higher caliber than most of the people who worked in the office, and black designer dress pants that were equally above your pay grade. It took everything you had not to scoff, or roll your eyes at the sheer irony of your worlds—how different they could be.

He was silently watching you watch him, picking away at everything wrong with him in your silence. You lifted your gaze, finally looking him in the eyes, and you almost hated him more seeing the way he was looking at you, his chocolate brown eyes swirling with warm undertones that managed to calm you even though that was the opposite of what you wanted. You tried to ignore the strange feelings bubbling to the surface, the envy that made everything about him flawless, from his tan skin, soft, and glowing against the fluorescent bulbs from both of your desks to his caramel brown strands falling effortlessly, and messily, over his eyelashes.

Just one look, and you could see why everyone fell head over heels for him. In truth, no matter how many times you stole glances in his direction, he always looked different, always saw a new reason why he was so appealing, and as petty as it was, he annoyed you for being so easily charming and good looking. You felt as though every good thing had been handed to him, and somehow there was no room for the flaws that vexed your every whim.

He paused for a moment, taking in the reality of his relationship with you, but just as he was about to say something, you turned away, silently fiddling with the papers piling up on your desk.

“Working late again?” he managed to speak.

“Mhmm,” you hummed.

He stared at your back, watching as you continued to search for papers you didn’t need, and maybe didn’t even have. He suddenly felt something he’d never felt for you before—a bitterness? A form of contempt he wasn’t used to? He couldn’t explain it, but he couldn’t understand why you insisted on hating him. It wasn’t his fault, he knew that, but why didn’t you know that? He wanted to make it better, he wanted to make it up to you somehow, and that foreign part of him he kept tucked away, it suddenly spoke to him louder than the rest, possessing him to do something he wouldn’t have thought to be in his character; but he suddenly didn’t care, not if it would make you feel better, not if it would make him feel better, not if it changed the way you looked at him.

“She’s right, you know,” he whispered, his voice deep, low as if something had taken over him.

You kept pretending to search through your pile of papers to distract yourself, but your curiosity got the better of you as you stopped fumbling with imaginary files. He grinned as he got your attention.

“You work too hard.”

You turned around, offended by his obvious eavesdropping, but you were taken aback as his eyes shifted from being that calming brown, to a deeper, almost black hue.

“As opposed to you?” you spoke without thinking.

He was serious, more serious than you were used to him being, and the realization made you uncomfortable, enough to make you turn away. Getting to your feet, you began to pick up the papers, trying to find a way to distract yourself from the feeling of his eyes picking away at you. He was catching you off guard to the point you couldn’t think clearly, couldn’t see what was going on right before your very eyes, not until it was too late. He was quiet, quick on his feet as he came to stand behind you, his soft lips just as quick to find the curve of your ear as they teasingly brushed along your skin, his warm breath reaching within you, and stealing your breath away. You froze, clenching your jaw, gripping onto the stack of papers as he let out a soft chuckle in your ear.

“Is that what you think?” he whispered, his long fingers taking hold of your cheeks, gently turning your gaze to face his.

Your heart sputtered in your chest, the mere sight of the way he was looking at you making something turn in your stomach, making your body tingle in a way that was so foreign to you. He bit his lip slowly, taking in your parted lips, finding rise in the way your eyes watched his tongue flick over his rosy flesh. You took in a silent breath, lifting your gaze to find his staring at you, watching you with a secret intent, speaking to you in ways words couldn’t, but he didn’t need to speak for you to feel what he felt. You barred your teeth, slightly pulling away from his grip, but finding yourself locked into his touch.

“Let go of me, Taehyung.”

“Is that what you really want?”

His eyes searched yours, his hand slowly slipping from your cheeks, trailing along your skin as he allowed his hand to fall at his side.

“Is that what you want?” you probed.

He gave you a warm smile, full of innocence, contrasting greatly with the hungry desperation in his eyes. For a second, you forgot how much you hated him, seeing the way he glowed up so close; you started to see why everyone swooned as soon as he walked in the room. He paused, his eyes giving little away about his intentions before he pressed his lips to yours, stealing a kiss for himself. You stood there in shock, his body heat burning you to the core, your nerves spiked to a whole new level as you tried to make sense of his actions. He pulled away, his eyes greeting yours with that unwavering look of desire, and you couldn’t find the words to speak, to protest, to question his intentions.

“What are you doing?” you finally choked out.

He smirked, his silence more of an answer than you realized as his fingers traced your thigh, caressing your warm flesh, climbing their way higher, and hiking your skirt around your waist. Your breathing grew shakier, your body begging him to keep going despite the mental battle wreaking havoc in your mind. He leaned closer, catching your ragged breaths, getting a closer look at the torment in your eyes, and his smirk grew more taunting as his fingers traced the band above your hips. He reached forward, taking hold of your cheeks yet again with his other hand, gently pulling your lips closer to his, your flesh grazing his gingerly.

“Don’t you think you’ve earned it?”

He moaned, and his eyes darted to your lips as they took in the sweet taste of his pleasure. His words alone made you think back on all your hard work, the failed attempts at being the writer you imagined yourself to be flashing in your mind, and it was all his fault. You felt a seed of hatred spread inside you, mingling with a want to finally be recognized for all your efforts, and it suddenly didn’t matter who was holding the key to your acceptance, not when he was so close, his lips tasting your breath, his eyes breathing how badly he wanted to make you feel good. You had earned what it was like to be rewarded by the prize jewel himself.

“Yes,” you gasped, the words slipping out of your mouth before you had time to rethink your desires.

All he wanted was to hear you say it, to hear you admit you wanted him as badly as he wanted you. He plunged his fingers beneath your underwear, his fingers quick to feel the bud of your excitement, two fingers pressing inside of you to prove just how much you earned it. You gasped, your nails scrapping along your metal desk as his lips took advantage of their opening, his tongue eager to waltz with yours. He moaned, gasping into every kiss as his fingers worked wonders inside you, flicking, curling inside of you until you were squirming against him for more.

His fingers were so warm, enticing you as they pumped inside of you, hitting you deep until you were moaning for more. You never thought you’d find yourself in a position like this with Taehyung of all people, couldn’t imagine it even as his fingers grew slick with your juices, fluttering inside you as if that was exactly where they belonged. You moaned, pressing yourself into him, feeling just how much he wanted to make you feel good, and he moaned back, his urge to be inside of you driving him over the edge.

He could feel you wouldn’t make it much longer if he kept going the way he was, your walls pulsing against his fingers as he steadily pushed them inside you. You were so warm in every sense of the word, your moans, your tongue, your lips, your skin, your slick walls squeezing onto his flesh. His breathing grew unsteady as he thought of your lips wrapped around him, and the thought of your flesh pressed tenderly against his. He’d have been lying to himself if he thought he could have kept in control. He was supposed to be angry with you for hating him, for treating him as if he was worthless when all he wanted was for you to know his worth, but he couldn’t remember so clearly with you wrapped around his fingers.

He moaned, pumping faster as his mind took him places, making him grow harder with your back pressed against him. You moaned, feeling a spark ignite inside of you, growing more intense the longer his fingers worked wonders. He let out a low moan, pulling his lips away from yours for the first time, but they ghosted over yours as he tried to contain his lust, his fingers slowing down as his eyes flickered open, locking with yours as they were trapped in a haze of desire.

“This doesn’t change anything,” you whispered.

He grinned, “We’ll see about that."

He pulled his fingers out, graceful, methodical as he pushed your underwear from your hips, pulling your leg up as soon as the garment hit the floor. You braced yourself on your desk, feeling the cold grasp your leg, feeling the wetness dripping from your center as you listened to him unbutton his pants, the anticipation making your mind go fuzzy. He gasped, closing his eyes briefly as his member broke from the constraints of his pants, red, throbbing in his hand, dripping with all his built-up pleasure. He needed to feel your warmth against his member, wanted it more than anything he could ever imagine. He aligned himself with your entrance, a moan leaving his lips as he pressed his member inside of you, and another as he watched you gradually take him all him.

You let out ragged breaths, moaning, leaning your head back against his shoulder as you felt all of him so clearly, filling your emptiness. He was more than you expected, in every way, making you hate him that much more for being everything you weren’t. You let your eyes drift towards the ceiling, carefully eyeing that same old stain, feeling its judgement as it watched both of your sins unfold; you, the editor’s biggest nightmare, and him, everyone’s favorite trophy reporter, entangled in one another’s body. You could see the headlines now. You felt his lips curl into a smile against your ear, feel his hot breath as he let out a softer moan, his hand finding refuge against your breasts beneath your sweater as he waited for you to adjust to his girth.

He didn’t want to wait, but he found himself wanting to memorize every curve of your body before he was too far gone to remember to do so. He was enveloped in your warmth, coated in you, and it was almost enough, but as he felt your walls twitching against him, something hungry awoke in him, unable to be sated by a simple touch. The feeling made him flick his hips, drawing out a lethargic moan from your lips, and another as he flicked his hips again. He swallowed hard, going crazy by your beautifully sinful noises.

He couldn’t contain himself as he pushed your body forward, your hands flying to the metal of your desk, and the stacks of meaningless papers on it. His thrusts were rough, both soothing and savage in their own way, pulling moan after moan from both of your lips until you were lost in your own cloud of lust. He felt more than good, as perfect as the articles he’d write for the front cover, his member pulsing against your walls in perfect harmony, his hips carrying your rational mind somewhere far away.

You had a complete hold on him, his member ceaselessly throbbing inside of you, begging for more even as your walls clung to him. He felt all his anger, and want, flooding to the surface, making him thrust inside of you harder, faster, losing all sense of the word control. He moaned for you, grabbing hold of your breast tighter as his other hand flew to your hair, pulling your head back, his lips catching any moans you had to offer. You reached back, tangling your fingers in his hair as your kisses deepened, your tongues running sloppily against the others, tasting the sweet elixir of one another’s pleasure.

You could already feel that spark from earlier, igniting a succession of fires in the pit of your stomach. He felt it too, his hips slowing down, focusing on drilling you hard, forcing you to feel all of him reaching inside you, hitting that marvelous spot so perfectly. He moaned, his hand still squeezing onto your chest, his hips still begging for more. He knew he wouldn’t be able to hold on much longer, but he knew you wouldn’t be able to either.

“Y/N,” he moaned, his eyes meeting yours as his hips drew out another moan.

You felt your moans in your throat, could feel your mind objecting to the idea of letting him see just how much he’d gotten to you, but your walls were straining against him, clutching to his warmth, and it was in that moment, on the edge of your release, you forgot what it was like to hate him; all you wanted was to feel every stroke of his hips, and every touch of his lips, his hands, his body. When you accepted that simple fact, you felt your body set off against his, the feeling of his member, the taste of his lips, his touch, it all made you cry out his name, a drawn-out moan escaping your lips.

He caught your moan, his hips temporarily losing their rhythm as you came around him, but he forced himself to keep going, seeking out the same release, his eyes taking in the sight of you unguarded, basking in the euphoric feeling he’d given you. He felt his member pulsing, everything in him falling apart just at the sight of you. He couldn’t hold back anymore as he thrusted inside you a few more times, his hand gripping onto your flesh even tighter as the other flew to your desk, his nails scrapping along the same papers as he came inside you, a chorus of moans leaving his lips in the process.

You leaned your head against his shoulder, both of you letting out labored breaths as you rode out your orgasms. He moaned, tucking his head in the crook of your neck, his hot breath fanning over your skin. You imagined you could have stayed like that, with him, for the rest of the night, finding a sort of calm in the sound of his breaths, growing steadier with every passing second; but you didn’t want to fall privy to the same admiration everyone else had.

Sensing a change in the air, he lifted his head, his lips trailing along your cheek, and a satisfied moan left his lips as his eyes peered at your blank computer screen. He smirked, planting a wet kiss on your cheek. He removed his hand from beneath your sweater, his fingers guiding your gaze towards his, the amusement prevalent in his eyes as they searched your face, settling on your lips before stealing a few more kisses, each one reigniting a spark as his tongue danced along yours.

You took in a deep breath, meeting his gaze once more as he sunk his teeth in his lip, an innocent smile on his face before he carefully pulled out, helping you find your balance as he guided your leg back to the ground. You stood there, still feeling him inside you, the warmth of his breath leaving you as he fixed his pants. After a moment, you felt his lips hovering by your ear, a smug grin gracing his lips.

“How do you expect to beat me without an article, Y/N?”

He chuckled, backing away from you, but you couldn’t look at him as you listened to him grabbing the last of his things, clicking his light out, and confidently walking out of the office as if he’d bested you yet again. You waited for the sound of the door closing before you fell back in your chair, your core already sore from him. You leaned your head against your chair, sinking into its comfort as you waited for the hatred to build back up, the need to beat him finding its way back to the surface, battling the blissful sound of his moans and the tall tale of his final taunt. You couldn’t let him win.

You’d worked all night, your fingers gliding over the keyboard with and effortless ease as the words came pouring out of you. You didn’t expect to be rewarded, didn’t expect anyone to like the words flowing from your thoughts, that was, until you were called into your editor’s office later that morning, his eyes glued to the finished product of the article you’d put everything you had into, Taehyung’s already read, hovering in the corner as if it was already shaming you. You couldn’t believe it as the words left his mouth.

Front cover. You’d finally written a front cover story, and you were finally all anyone could talk about in the office. You bowed, taking every compliment, accepting your hard work had finally paid off, but you could feel his eyes watching you the entire time. You stole glances from your position at the head of the office, a smile on his face as he leaned back in his desk chair, his arms crossed over his chest. You wondered if anyone else saw the dark look in his eyes, the innocent guy they all knew, and loved, retreating to the darkest recesses of his mind. You tried to ignore it, slipping back to your desk as quietly as possible, and pretending to prepare for an article you had yet to be handed; your fingers flipped through your folders in search of a distraction, but nothing distracted you more than the feeling of his warm breath crawling up your neck, his lips running over your flesh until they settled by your ear.

“Front cover,” he whispered, “Sounds like you’ve earned a reward, wouldn’t you think?”

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