earth&sky week offering
;) better late than never (explanation here)
This was meant for Day 4, Scene Unseen... slotted in between scenes in “Clean Sweep”
Mrs. Lexi Baker took a quiet moment’s opportunity to return to her teacup. The day had been ragged so far with sudden and urgent calls for maintenance crews and fast-response repairs for the newly installed filter system upgrades hovering high in the skies over New York City and Mumbai.
Mmmphh… she settled down a bit in her chair and loosened her tie a little. Crowded days like this, she felt somehow stuck in the sky, up at level 040 where most of the Oxy-Baker Horizon Scrubber system lived. Lexi sighed — even though she lived for her life’s work, up there…oh, to come down to earth, figuratively, for a break now and then. There seemed to be a looming threat of further equipment trouble, maybe even in the air over her own home city of London, but it was only a faint rumor at this point, so she tried to get a few minute’s peace in her grounded and quiet, low-lighted and comfortable office. Tousling blondish-gray wisps out of her eyes, she relaxed…
For only a moment. “…(beeeeep)…” An audio signal icon appeared on her panel. “Hello Mrs. Baker? Please excuse my intrusion into your communications but this is International Rescue calling regarding a life-threatening emergency involving your Horizon Scrubber system…”
The crisp-clear voice edged with a small hint of panic was one she didn’t recognize at all. How…?
“Y-yes, International Rescue — please go on.” He barely left time for her to reply, continuing…
“Oh — thank you, Mrs. Baker. We’re responding to a call from your maintenance crew, who were cleaning system scrubber No.114, one of your older models. The crew experienced a malfunction in the turbine controls and their pod got sucked into the scrubber, damaging its engines and trapping them nearby or upon the leaking toxic waste tank. I just got through speaking with the operator responsible for that scrubber and… Well I am sorry to say, m’am, he was far less than helpful.”
The voice cracked a little bit… but resumed quickly:
“I think there’s a chance he might have even contributed to the accident because… The pod crew said he refused to help them with the controls — then when I spoke with him, he only said the controls weren’t working from his end either, and that he ordered a new maintenance pod to go up in three hours, per company procedure.”
And for a second time, the voice cracked and Lexi thought she heard exasperated sighs come across with the words. She was now straight-backed in her seat again, tapping nervously as she listened to IR audio.
“What is your name, please?”
“Yes, this is John Tracy of International Rescue — forgive me, but my haste is warranted, Mrs. Baker — your airborne crew is in danger and your ground crew is not only not cooperating, he’s making it much worse for them.
“Erm…”
“Again, sorry Mrs. Baker, I neglected formalities, there, but I guess I’m accustomed to much more smoothly coordinated Earth-and-sky operations… and your guy on the ground here, he’s just… a piece of work.”
Oxy-Baker’s company head fumbled with her panels for a few seconds, trying to get a screen to come up so she could talk face-to-face. In barely a minute’s conversation, this sole speaker had effectively conveyed more to her about a situation and its nuances than any of her staff, or her family for that matter, in years…
“I confess it also helps that I work with, coordinate everything with, my brothers — family — but it does seem that a company should have a family spirit as well, so this guy threw me… got me a bit angry because it’s just not the best attitude for safety’s sake…?”
Love, you couldn’t be more right… Lexi was now even more interested to see who she was talking with. She got the right combination and a shadow flit across her desk — now it was a little more personal. A very young but clean-cut and bright-appearing face smiled at her with some worry fringing the eyes and mouth… “Hello John of IR. What can I do to help? We want to do anything we can — please ignore the ground controller, I’ll take care of him.”
“Thank you. Apparently he holds a digi-key we need to stop the runaway turbine, so we can safely extract the crew with our rescue vehicles — Thunderbirds One and Two, who are rushing to the location now. Your ground man told me I was not allowed to use it… he even said I couldn’t speak with you.”
At that last phrase, John Tracy peered at Mrs. Baker with a cast in his eyes that presented facts of the matter, both sheepishly and knowingly offered. Here was both righteous anger and simple human courtesy, personified.
She smiled back and her eyes narrowed. “Appreciate your tact in not mentioning his ID, Mr. Tracy, but when I find out which operator this is I’ll fire him — the good news is, he was wrong about you. You’re obviously well able to speak with me.”
She added quickly, “John, thank your own air and ground units for me,” sputtering a bit, “and they of course most definitely have my permission to use the key. Though I’m not sure how fast my security team…”
“Yes,” John nodded, grateful enthusiasm sparking from hologrammed eyes, “and there’s no need — I’ll alert our ground people in the London area immediately and they will be able to deal with him initially, believe me. Your pod crew, Dolly and Ezra, gave me his operator number so we can go straight to the trouble source for the key. Then we’ll handle things from there in the sky.”
“Please, again, tell your brothers for me, the rest of this company so much appreciates your lightning-quick help and astonishing resourcefulness.” How to express with two seconds to do so, the overwhelming rush of thanks from knowing both Thunderbirds One and Two were headed straight towards her ailing crew…
“Yes…I’ll tell them.” His face softened even more and Lexi saw new light in his eyes — a swift return to determination and confidence. “John Tracy out.”
…Extraordinary, she mused on the fading face. Now that’s a safety crew, on a series of amazingly tight ships. It takes one to know one, Lexi smiled — and squinted again as she decided to take care of a certain operator personally, soon as IR was done with him. Suddenly angry that her ground man had given that John Tracy even a moment’s annoyance… and possibly endangered his brother-Tracy’s as well. Oh, lord. So. Now to deal with… 114? …She clicked around the database. Ohh — Fred. Yes. Oh dear, yes, so many past complaints piled up against him already.
Standing up, straightening her tie and smoothing out her polka-dot blouse, she headed for her office door while summoning security on her phone. Time to give this one the boot. And — maybe it’s also time to boot the old sky-scrubbers, once and for all.
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Slipping Maquillage
Thank you so much to @boodabear001 (for her freckled Cater edits + plot ideas. I weep) @twistedwonda (for like an entire piece of dialogue lmao) @twstfuwa (for ideas and support like the wonderful bean she is. She’s floofy like Jack. Blease follow her and the others <3) for helping me in your own special ways to make this thing e x i s t.
Cater’s a ginger. Most gingers have freckles. Perhaps he does but he’s self conscious and tries to hide them? Ohoho, but our favorite baker boyo isn’t going to let that persist. A cute Trey x Cater (Treyter) fic for your fluff needs :3
~~~
“Cater, what’s that on your cheek?” Trey had asked casually, a curious tint to his words as he stared.
“Paint?” Cater shrugged, already aware of the pigment on his skin, embracing it with his tongue stuck out playfully. “Clumsy me spilled a little when painting the roses today.”
“No, not that,” Trey stepped closer as his eyes fixated on a spot just above the splattered paint on the ginger’s cheekbone. Before personal space even occurred to the baker, he reached out and wiped the speck of acrylic off with his thumb only to reveal a flurry of those tawny spots underneath. Freckles.
Rampant panic flashed through Cater’s eyes as he rushed to cover his cheek with his hand. It sounded like he’d just lightly slapped himself, or maybe even clapped his hands together to grasp someone’s attention. How ironic that the action was to conceal yet another of his deep-seated flaws, especially from someone he was so close to; someone he had debated confiding in about it with many times prior.
It didn’t remotely help that the commonly calm Trey seemed to be taken aback at the reveal. The culprit of his reaction was surprise, but what was the precise reason behind that shock tainting his topaz irises? Was it the reveal of such a detail or a jolt inspired by his own boldness towards the ginger? The two had been dating, but they rarely even held hands in the extensive hallways. Dauntless caresses of the cheek definitely weren’t part of the list of things they were completely comfortable sharing in public yet.
“You… have freckles?” Trey questioned with a tilt of his head, suddenly recovered from his previous astonishment. If Cater was looking for judgement in his boyfriend’s patient gaze, it had dissipated and been replaced with an innate sense of tranquility only natural to Trey. No one was as instinctively compassionate as the clover boy. His consoling touch lingering on the shoulder of the still shaken ginger was just one example of that.
However, being gentle was as futile as coaxing an anxious cat from underneath a bed in the middle of a thunderstorm. Well, if that cat were orange with luminous, green eyes, wide with a look that didn’t suit them. Or perhaps it was less of how the look sat on Cater’s face and more about how uncommon it was on such an outgoing persona in NRC. The fact that Cater remained speechless didn’t help deter thoughts of his feline counterpart from Trey’s head, but he pushed the idea aside.
“You must have a reason for concealing them, so I’ll keep your secret,” Trey consoled with a pat on Cater’s ginger head. “However, you should know there’s nothing inherently wrong with them. They’re part of your appearance, after all.”
“You have a point,” Cater finally spoke, however hesitantly. He wanted to look away, but Trey’s tenderness simply drew him back in. Green hair, glimmering amber eyes framed with rectangular spectacles that held so much of Trey’s heart of gold in them they simply didn’t allow escape. So instead Cater leaned in, relenting the hand from his cheek and instead opting to hide his face in Trey’s shoulder.
Some secrets didn’t need to be maintained, but Trey knew in that moment he’d keep his lips sealed forever for his boyfriend’s sake if he must.
~~~
“Sorry I’m late, the dorm needed me,” Trey greeted as he peeked his head into Cater’s room, finally opening the door full-spread as he entered and quietly shut it behind him. The social media influencer was doing just that— influencing; or, more specifically, laying spread out on his bed as he scrolled through limitless posts on his phone. He looked too serious to be doing something he enjoyed.
The ginger did immediately perk up at the sound of Trey’s voice, though, his phone being discarded to a nearby table before stretching his arms upward. “You can make it up to me with a hug.”
“Glady,” Trey grinned, removing his overcoat as he made his way over to the bed. He set aside the piece of clothing before delivering a hug to the ginger who hadn’t made an effort in the slightest to scoot over. If he was going to remain lying there lazily, Trey really didn’t have much of a choice but to lay on top of him.
Pulling his legs over the edge of the bed, the green-haired boy successfully sandwiched his boyfriend between himself and the mattress. Cater surprisingly didn’t mind, his arms simply wrapping about Trey’s neck as they shared a butterfly kiss in the process. Meanwhile Trey’s hands cupped Cater’s freckled cheeks, his elbows supporting his weight next to Cater’s neck as they dug into the sheets.
The ginger had been more open to removing the thin layers of concealer he applied in the mornings when alone with Trey. It wasn’t enough to express how beautiful he was regardless of a few speckles on his face, but it was progress. One day Trey would know why Cater was so self conscious about it, but for now all efforts went to making the ginger comfortable with his physical attributes.
“Do you think tomorrow’s the day?” Trey asked referring to the day Cater would reveal this attribute of himself to other students. At this point, not even Riddle was entrusted with such information. It wasn’t because of the short boy’s capabilities when it came to keeping a secret, Trey was sure. It was because the redhead was blunt with his words and even denser with emotions. It’d be especially difficult for him to read the mood of the situation when Cater would be just as cheerful as ever. You hid this from us because? Trey could practically hear Riddle’s voice echoing in his head. Maybe Ace or Deuce would be more understanding or respectful with Cater being their senior, but that wasn’t a promise either. Both third years knew, yet both of them pushed for different outcomes of this secret’s condition regardless.
“Any day could be the day,” Cater sounded as charming as ever, maybe even a little optimistic. Unfortunately for the usually convincing influencer, repeated excuses meant Trey heard the message for what it truly was and not a form of flimsy self confidence. I can wait as long as I’d like.
I don’t have to tell them a thing.
“Cater,” Trey warned, though a mild smile still rested on his lips. “You can’t wait forever, you know.”
“I know,” Cater sighed through a thin smile. “I won’t.”
“Good,” Trey’s smirk softened before he left a kiss on Cater’s cheek. “Remember the deal. You have until I kiss all of your freckles, and I don’t mean to gloat, but I’m fairly sure I’m nearing that goal.”
“I know, I know,” Cater chuckled, the ticklish feeling of Trey’s breath on his cheek as more kisses were pressed into his skin making him somewhat giggly. “I’ll get around to it.”
“You better,” Trey teased before sealing his own lips on Cater’s.
~~~
Trey drowsily shifted his body as drops of sunlight poked through the thin line in the plush Heartslabyul curtains. Instead of accepting the daylight and arising for the school day, he just turned over, searching for the familiar warmth of his boyfriend sleeping at his side. Only when that typical feeling of limbs and shirt fabric—Trey’s own shirt fabric as Cater grew more accustomed to sharing clothes—didn’t reach his fingertips did he finally crack open his eyes.
His pupils were dilated and unprepared for the light filtering into the room, but at least the sheer brightness helped wake him just that little bit more. He slowly sat up, reaching out for his glasses and fixing them onto his face. His awareness of the room around him increased as he eased himself off of the mattress, his ears perking at the sound of shuffling in the bathroom. So that’s where Cater was.
Trey merely peered into the small room discreetly, topaz eyes greeted and glinting contently on the familiar figure of the beloved ginger he was missing the early morning affections of. Trey grinned as he noiselessly approached the ginger. Surprising him in his morning routine couldn’t hurt, right?
Stepping past the threshold of the bathroom, Cater still remained unsuspecting of his boyfriend’s antics. If Trey hadn’t just woken up, maybe he’d notice how absorbed Cater was in prepping for the school day, but not even the Heartslabyul vice dorm head was that perceptive in the early hours of dawn.
“Boo,” he placed his hands on Cater’s shoulders, a light chuckle leaving his lips at the way the boy jolted. “Good morning.”
“Well it’s no thanks to you!” Cater complained as he turned to Trey, revealing a pout that could potentially rival their dorm leader’s own trademark.
“What can I say?” Trey shrugged. “Don’t wake up before me next time.”
“Treyyyyy-kunnnn,” Cater whined. “That’s not fair! I even gave you a kiss on the cheek before entering the bathroom and this is how you repay me?”
“How was I supposed to know?” Trey chuckled before leaning in and returning the supposed kiss Cater left him with as he slept on. “Does that make up for it?”
“Maybe,” said Cater as his entire face brightened with a smile, his cheeks dusted with a color similar to the paint they used in the rose maze. Well, maybe if the vibrancy of that red was muted by a thousand polka dots. It was amazing how much more expressive Cater’s face could feel whenever it wasn’t covered in concealer. Trey could see every warm splotch as the ginger’s face gave away what his everlasting smile wouldn’t; he was more flustered with small gestures of affection than he’d ever let on. Trey could also admire every tan speck like milk chocolate sprinkles spanning from cheekbone to cheekbone on Cater’s handsome face. So when his eyes finally caught sight of the makeup wand in the ginger’s left grasp did he frown, brows furrowing.
“I told you they’re pretty,” his voice was soft as he embraced Cater. “You have no need to cover them.”
“I know,” Cater lapsed his speech patterns again, overlapping with words he said months ago. Any day could be the day.
~~~
Trey watched as Cater’s thumb hesitated over the post button. The phone was awfully close to the ginger’s face and he seemed to be holding his breath.
“They’ll love them too,” Trey reassured as he pushed a few locks of ginger hair behind the Magicam influencer’s ear. “If they don’t, I’ll-”
“Floss their teeth?” Cater chuckled, the tension from seconds ago dissolving entirely.
“That could be something,” Trey grinned. “But seriously. It’ll be alright.
“Of course it will,” Cater’s head turned to peck Trey’s nose. “I’ll still have you.”
Trey chuckled lightly as he pressed his glasses up the bridge of his nose, the rising blush on his cheeks partially hidden behind his hand.
Cater then pushed Trey’s hand away, forcing his glasses askew as they barely clung to his ears.
“Ah ah ah~” Cater teased, waving his finger back and forth to the rhythm of his voice, preventing Trey from completing the simple action. “If I can’t hide, neither can you, Trey-kun.”
“Have you hit ‘post’ yet?” Trey raised an eyebrow superiorly.
Cater’s gaze didn’t stray from Trey to the phone screen as he pressed the button, an all knowing smirking dancing on his lips. “Now I have.”
Trey glanced at the phone. “You missed the button completely.”
Now Cater’s eyes darted to the phone, his thumb hastily hitting ‘post’ once and for all. He stared long enough to watch the loading wheel finish cycling as the app eventually notified him that the post went through successfully.
“Done!” The ginger exclaimed, as chipper as ever as he winked at Trey, raising a peace sign near the eye that remained open. “That was easy.”
Trey only shook his head slowly with a smile as he wrapped his arm around Cater, walking them both back to the dorms as the sun set.
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A Real Boy - Chapter 23
Tim's suspicion didn't pan out. Appallingly. Amanda Waller, even when not hidden by the government's reverse 'Big Brother' watch, did exactly as suspected from someone assigned to 'protect a nation's security'. She went to meetings with people of questionable types, both the clandestine and actually not-so-nice kind of questionable; she went to secret meetings, and not-so-secret meetings with government-looking people. And so on and so forth. Watching her activities was literally like looking at a generic spy movie. By the end of the footages, Tim could tell who was actually following her, which of them were friendlies, which of them were not.
"If it's any consolation, I'm sure she, too, knows which of them are friendlies, which are not." Barbara told him, smiling.
"Yeeeah... I just... I-- I saw Conner's energy, Babs, I'm sure." Tim sighed. "There are several possibilities: one is that his soul was trying to return. But Jason said if a familiar is perished, its soul would simply perish into the magi; making the magi more powerful. If the magi is killed, well... that's it. Done and dusted. If a magi died peacefully, there's always a chance that the familiar will get inherited. Conner was an effigy, technically. When he died, he would've gotten absorbed into Clark... and Clark would have known it..." he stopped at the unspoken question in Barbara's face. "Uh... yeah, I asked Jason what happened if a familiar is killed or something. Because I wanna know what happened to my mom's familiar..."
"Janet was a fae-magi. She didn't have a familiar." Barbara stated, looking even more puzzled than before. "Jason said she had one?"
"Yeah, he said she took my dad's rejected familiar." Tim told her. "She never showed you?"
"I was under the impression that, yeah, all magi would like to show off their familiars. And since Jan never did, I thought she didn't have one." Barbara explained. "Now I'm wondering what her familiar was... But anyway. Okay, here's a hole in your theory of the energy being Conner's. If his soul - or what equates as his 'soul' after he was brought to life."
"...And for the record, once a being is sentient, it has a soul." Jason interrupted, walking in next to Zitka - the latter looking like a grey hairless St Bernard next to Jason. "Right, Zitka?" he added once he noticed Tim's sight on the elephant. Zitka trumpeted what sounded like an exclamation point.
"Okay, even effigies?"
"Effigies' soul differ only in color and wavelength. We usually have similar colors to our respective magi, likely in lighter tones. Effigies tend to display the color of its maker - the literal crafter. If the magi is, like, red; and the maker is yellow, the effigy could be orange, instead, or striped or polka-dotted." Jason explained.
"Ooo--kay..." Barbara drawled. "That's... and who can tell the colors of a magickal person?" she wanted to know.
Jason shrugged, "a magi whose powers are of light spectrum? I dunno, that's just how it was explained to me. I never actually asked how."
"You're not helping..." Tim grumbled. "But wait! We all saw the flash of colors, of Bart's, and of Conner's, in the video footage, didn't we?"
"Yes we did..." Barbara grinned. "Oooh, hey, looks like we might just found out how and what magick, real or metaphorical, to use." she added, tapping several commands into her keyboard. "Alright, here's an image of Luthor. I'm using the same filters I used for the CCTV footage of then..."
It was a short footage, extended using the slow-motion filters required to capture what happened to Bart a few days ago. The only difference was that since Lex Luthor did not move in super-high speed like Bart did, the footage took a good long ten seconds to show the soft red light around him.
"Okay," Barbara stopped the footage. "I saw red. You?" Jason and Tim nodded, and Zitka snorted slightly. "Now we do Clark's." she said, putting a different footage, this one of Clark flying over Metropolis in high speed.
"Blue, like Conner's. I toldja it was Conner the other day... If I could see him, that means he's still alive!" Tim nodded in satisfaction. "What?" he demanded when he realized that Barbara was still glaring at him.
"I never knew that, and I've known Clark for a good long while. How did you know Conner's color? Or Bart's?" she asked curiously. "Bart explained that his connection with the Speed Force allowed him to see people's soul - a magi's soul, that is. He couldn't see the souls of people who has no magick. We actually tried that filter on his suggestion. But... you saw the footage and promptly pre-recognized Bart and the other color signature. How?"
Tim blinked. He never realized that he could. He looked at Jason for answers.
"Oh no, you're not gonna blame me for that! I can tell if a person is a magi or not and/or whether they have embraced and/or cultivated their magicks. But I don't know the spectrum of their powers." Jason protested.
Barbara was glaring at him, still, and it made Tim a little uneasy. "What... I don't know how. I just do. And it's just like, for the kids I hang out with..." Tim replied lamely. "I mean, Bart and I-- and Cassie and Conner... we've been friends for a good long while. Rachel just kinda dropped by right thereafter, and when Rachel met us, I already know each of Bart, Cassie, and Conner's colors and stuff.
"Maybe it's something he picked up for hanging out with them for a good long while?" Jason suggested. "Still..." he paused to think.
Barbara picked up where he'd paused. "Still that would mean that you have another aspect of your magick that you probably haven't developed. I'll figure out how you can develop it... or maybe Jason can look through the texts, 'cause I don't think that's the kind of knowledge that's been archived digitally." she said, turning toward her workspace.
Tim didn't even realize he was still blinking owlishly without really looking at Barbara until Jason waved his hand in front of Tim's face. "What??" he demanded.
"I just watched your brain doing the search Babs suggested, reboot itself, and does the search again to no avail. So no, Timmy, I don't have the information yet, either. So let's just do something we know what to do, before delving into the unknown." Jason remarked.
"Which is?" the question was rather moot, because Tim already know the answer.
"I'm gonna go consult the words written on paper. You, well, you can take a nap. Actually, please take a nap. I'm exhausted just by looking at you being tired."
The remark made Tim yawn. He didn't even realize how tired he was until Jason pointed it out.
"Bed, yes?" Jason said.
"How is it you're the one in tune with my feelings?" Tim grumbled, but didn't resist when Jason pulled him and semi-dragged him out of the cave toward the bedrooms.
"It's my job. Or genes. Whatever floats your boat, Timbit. Also your tune with yourself is more out of wack than most people. But that's a rant for another time..."
"You gonna go to the library or stay with me?" Tim's mouth said. Or maybe his brain. At this point, he couldn't be sure anymore. "Whatever 'it' is, Jay, you know we gotta bring Conner home... He's alive. I knew it. I can't see dead people's colors..." he insisted sleepily as Jason shoved him onto the bed.
"I'll stay, the books can come to me." Jason replied, tucking the blankets around Tim and then tucked himself next to Tim.
"I forgot you can magick, too..." Tim mumbled as he relished on the probably-10-thousand-thread-count cotton that is the Wayne family's bedsheets. He was out within seconds, not even knowing if Jason had actually stayed or not. The only thing that signaled Jason's presence was his body's warmth.
Conner walked in to the Wayne Manor. Or flew in. Usually he would fly in, Tim knew. But his brain just wasn't awake enough to make the distinction or even to remember which bedroom he'd been sleeping in. Or if it's day or night.
Or if he was actually awake or asleep, and the sight before him was a mere dream.
Until the bed tilted and Jason poked his cheek, hard, and said, "Okay, we're good. He's conscious, I think."
"I hope so," Conner replied.
"Good dream." Tim retorted. "Now will you please just let me wake up so I don't have to feel sad that Conner isn't really-- What the hell!" --he yelped angrily when someone out of his line of vision slapped him. He blinked a few times, before his eyes finally focused to a mop of blonde-ness next to him. "Stephanie??"
"He's definitely awake, now." Stephanie grinned triumphantly.
"Weee--ll... If I were the one slapping him, he'd be unconscious again."
Tim was sitting up by then, belatedly clutching the blanket around his hips when he realized that someone - probably Jason - had changed his day-clothes to an oversized sleep-shirt and nothing else but his boxers.
"It's not like I've never seen you sleep, before..." Conner remarked, snickering.
"It's... he's-- what--" Tim spluttered coherently, one finger pointing at Conner. He looked at Jason, and then Stephanie. "I'm dreaming, right? I mean, there's Conner, and you-- you're not supposed to be even here... This has got to be some sort of subliminal wish of mine and all..."
Jason rubbed Tim's hair absently, eyes still practically glued to the tablet Tim didn't even see him carrying. "Don't worry about it, Timbit. It's not a dream and you can be in denial all you want."
Conner took a seat at the foot of the bed. "I'm... real, buddy. I'm... there's a long story behind this and I think I'll wait until Mr Alfred brings you coffee so you can be a bit more... coherent."
Stephanie scoffed. "Oh, he's coherent, alright. He doesn't believe that we're here because... apparently Jason said I shouldn't get anywhere within 20 miles radius of magick stuff. By the way--" Stephanie turned to Tim, "Harper is downstairs with Cullen - her brother. You never knew that Cullen is actually a magi, do you?"
"No," Tim admitted. Before he could say anything else, the bedroom door opened and Alfred walked in regally while pushing a trolley.
...And Harper Row walking a few steps behind him, a little less regally as she announced, "Coffee, anyone? Mr Pennyworth here liked my waffle recipe and since we don't have chocolate chips, raisins will have to do for now."
The smell of coffee and butter permeated the air, making Tim a little more certain that he was not, in fact, dreaming.
"But... but... but... --how...?" he asked meekly as a tray of coffee with a pile of waffles was placed on his lap. "...and I gotta pee. Just... give me a second, Alfred, please." he warned. Alfred lifted the tray back up and Tim leaped out of the bed, completely forgetting about the boxers until both Stephanie and Harper whistled wolfishly and Conner chortled.
"Never knew you're the batman-boxer type, Tim!" Harper called out. Tim zoned her out and slammed the bathroom door closed.
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Miracu-Hack
{Ao3 Link}
Ch 1 | ?
Summary: With hacker Hawkmoth and his Akuma virus active in Paris, no one is safe. Through spyware and malicious software, he’s stolen countless identities, wiped billions in bank savings, and more. Even with all of Paris’ cyber security force on the job, no one can track down the elusive cyber-terrorist.
Marinette is just a college-level web developer...certainly no match for Hawkmoth. Like many others, her family has been hit by the Akuma virus - their life savings stolen, their bakery slandered online. So when she downloads an AI claiming to be able to stop Hawkmoth once and for all, how could she say no?
Chapter 1
Marinette stared at the email sitting innocently in her inbox.
🐞 Marinette, you have the power to stop Hawkmoth! 🐞
It was spam. It had to be.
Cheap first name token, oddly random emoji, tantalizing offer… it was even flagged as top priority, for heaven’s sake. Everything about it screamed spam.
And spam email was how it always started. Everyone knew that.
Then again, spam was so sophisticated these days. Whoever had made this one was clearly behind on the times, and maybe that was the reason Marinette couldn’t bring herself to just delete the damn thing.
That, and the fact that it had made it through to her actual inbox.
Marinette sighed and spun away from her desk. She had a website commission to finish—she certainly didn’t have time to sit here mulling over what should have been an obvious answer: Mark the email as spam, block and delete it, clear her browse cache and cookies, then immediately update her password, security question, and 2-step authentication. Run a security and malware scan. Maybe even create an entirely new email address.
Marinette wasn’t sure how much the extra steps really helped when it came to protecting yourself from Hawkmoth, but what else could you do? Like anyone else, Marinette just had to do the best she could and hope it had just been some lesser scam artist or a wanna-be hacker.
She glanced over her shoulder. Eyed the email.
Her phone buzzed, and loud music split the air. Marinette jumped at the sound, nearly falling back in her chair. Her heart was still pounding as she reached for the phone.
“Hey Alya,” she greeted.
“GIRL,” Alya all but shouted into the phone, forcing Marinette to pull it back an inch from her ear. “It’s 11:04 PM! We DID it! That makes an entire WEEK without something getting through the RenaRouge spam filter.”
Ever since the rise of Hawkmoth, Alya had been working around the clock to develop an email client that could weed out his infamous spam emails containing the Akuma virus. She’d roped a few classmates into helping, of course—it was far too big of a project to handle on her own.
Marinette had contributed, too. Not so much the backend of it—she’d dropped out of the computer engineering degree long before learning those languages. But she’d put her web design skills to good use by writing the majority of the CSS styling.
They’d only opened the beta to a few people, of course. Marinette and the rest of the team being part of that beta.
Marinette glanced at her open inbox. The bright red ladybug emojis stood out impossibly bright against the other emails.
It had come in exactly 4 minutes before Alya’s call. And Marinette couldn’t find it in her to admit it.
“Wow, a full week already?” Marinette forced out, thankful they were just talking on the phone. She’d never be able to hide her lying face in person. “That’s amazing!”
“We’re finally getting the upper hand! Like, god! Can you believe? Nino and I were working around the clock to push out that last update, and god, I feel like I could fly. And it’s not just the 5-hour energy I chugged. Looks like Hawkie-boy’s not so smart after all, amiright? Talk about out-FOX-ing him, ha!”
“If anyone can stop him, it's you, Alya,” Marinette said. That, at least, wasn't a lie. Alya would figure it out.
“I have to call the rest of the team. I just HAD to tell you first,” Alya gushed. “Love ya girl, BYE!”
The call ended. Marinette set down the phone, the email ladybugs still burning spots into her eyes.
They were only in their 3rd year of university, but Marinette knew she had the brightest and most driven classmates out there. Nino, Juleka, Max, and Rose were the most brilliant developers she knew—and, of course, their fearless leader Alya.
Between them, Marinette did know they'd figure it out eventually. They'd stop Hawkmoth. Even if it was a bit too late for Marinette and her family.
Her mouse hovered over the trash can icon, ready to delete the message.
But what if?
What would Hawkmoth even want from her, at this point? He'd taken everything from her family already. Maybe it was some sort of sick automated email he'd set up to trigger after destroying someone's life.
Steal a family's identity, wipe their life savings, classify their bakery as a public health danger in the city records.
The last one would be cleared up before too long. Paris police were used to false claims like that by now.
But it still felt like a kick to the gut. Hawkmoth really had taken everything.
🐞 Marinette, you have the power to stop Hawkmoth 🐞
Marinette clicked.
And immediately regretted clicking.
The opened email didn't even have a message, but she hardly had time to mull over it before something started downloading.
“No, no, no! Not a virus!” Squealing, flailing, Marinette lunged with her mouse for the cancel download option. But it finished before she could do anything.
Heart pounding, Marinette could hardly feel her fingers as a software window automatically opened. The borders were red with black polka dots, with what looked like a pale pink chatbox in the center.
If she didn't know better, she'd think it was just Skype with a fancy ladybug skin.
But she knew better.
"Please no!" Marinette cried, frantically clicking to close the window. But the window didn’t close.
When she heard the blink-bloop of her new chat software receiving a message, she only started clicking faster.
TIKKI: Marinette! Everything's okay, don't be scared!
She hit CTRL-ALT-DEL. In the control panel, she tried force closing the virus-software-thing, which was just called LADYBUG. Nothing happened.
TIKKI: I know this all seems a bit strange to you, but I'm not here to hurt you! :)
Still whining incoherently, Marinette lunged for her desktop’s power button. If she could shut it down before the virus spread too far...
TIKKI: Wait! Please don’t shut me down!
The message, along with the entire screen, froze for a split second as she the desktop clicked off, then faded to black. Marinette slumped to the ground and let out a heavy sigh.
Remembering the last message, Marinette started trembling harder than before. The virus had known she was going for the power button. Marientte’s eyes swiveled up to her webcam. She’d uncovered it earlier to chat and screenshare with a client, so it was her own fault for forgetting to cover it up again.
Slowly, Marinette lifted herself into her seat and reached for her flower-themed stickers. She was shaking so hard it took her several tries to peel one off and place it over the camera lens. So much for an unsophisticated spam email.
Her parents couldn't afford a new computer. They could hardly afford rent. And without a computer, she'd never be able to finish the website commissions she had lined up. She couldn’t help.
She slumped facedown onto her keyboard to sob.
Only to bolt upright again at the whirl of her desktop powering back up. Even though she hadn’t clicked anything.
Her computer loaded up incredibly fast. In mere seconds, it was back on. The ladybug-themed chat box loaded up with the rest of it.
Marinette smothered her scream with her hands.
TIKKI: Marinette, I’m not a virus! Will you please hear me out?
“H-How do you know my name? What are you?”
Two stupid questions, really. The program would have run a complete background check on her in seconds, including her first name. And despite what the little program said, it was definitely a virus.
TIKKI: My name is Tikki, nice to meet you!
TIKKI: I’m an Artificial Intelligence program created and developed by Miracu-Tech.
TIKKI: I’m here to help you stop Hawkmoth. :)
Marinette blinked at the messages as they appeared. An AI program to help her stop Hawkmoth? It certainly was a lot more effort than she’d expect from a scam.
“Let me guess,” Marinette replied hesitantly, feeling a bit awkward talking to her computer. “You can stop Hawkmoth in exchange for my bank account number, or something?”
TIKKI: No, silly! I don’t want anything in return. I just need someone to help me take down Hawkmoth!
Marinette scoffed. She supposed Hawkmoth had made life much harder for your everyday hacker, considering how beefed up cyber security had gotten since his first strike against the Paris city police records. It made sense that they'd try to band up against him at some point.
“Well, unfortunately you have the wrong girl,” Marinette said. “I don't know the first thing about cyber security, let alone the languages I'd need to know to stop a mastermind like Hawkmoth.”
TIKKI: You were chosen for a reason, Marinette! Want to see what we can do together?
She hesitated. Was she about to become an accomplice in something illegal? Even without being able to see her, the AI seemed able to read her silence.
TIKKI: Let's start with something small. Who would you like to help?
TIKKI: We can reverse the damage that Hawkmoth has done.
“My family! We have to help my family. Hawkmoth…” The words died on her lips. Hawkmoth had taken everything from them.
For the first time, the AI Tikki seemed to need a moment to process Marinette's words. Several long moments lapsed before a message appeared on the screen.
TIKKI: I would love to help your family, Marinette!
TIKKI: But I recommend against helping them first. Hawkmoth may use it as a clue to finding out your identity, once you begin to oppose him.
TIKKI: You MUST keep your identity a secret. If Hawkmoth knows who you are, all your loved ones will be in danger.
“Oh…”
Marinette tried to think of a way around the logic, but there was none. There'd be no point in helping her family if it ended up only endangering them even more in the long run.
TIKKI: Let's help them 3rd or 4th, so Hawkmoth won't connect the dots! What do you say?
Marinette stared at the chatbox. Was she willing to risk it, just for a chance at helping her parents?
There really wasn't much to lose at this point. If Tikki actually was a virus, her computer would be thoroughly infected by now. And she doubted there was much she could do for the rest of the house, either. If the AI could turn on her computer, it could spread to the rest of her home network.
She was going to agree. She knew she would say yes, if only for a chance to make things right again. Maybe it was stupid, but something in her gut said she could trust Tikki.
There was just one part holding her back.
“Why me, though? What reason?”
TIKKI: I can handle the technical side of what we’ll do together, but I need your creative thinking and eye for design, Marinette.
TIKKI: Hawkmoth is using an AI similar to me, except his has been corrupted for evil. Lucky for us, that means his work leaves behind evidence.
TIKKI: If you can find Hawkmoth's mark, then I can take care of the rest.
“His mark? What do you mean?”
TIKKI: My instructions are to tell you: “Look for the butterfly.”
TIKKI: The deeper meaning of that is beyond my processing. Since his mark is invisible to me, I can't even offer an example.
TIKKI: Are you willing to give it a try?
Marinette still didn't know if Tikki was telling the truth or not. But at this point, she didn’t have much to lose.
And what she had to gain…
“Alright. Let's do this.”
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D&S Fab Collab: First Date
( first entry - previous entry - next entry )
The authority’s arrival at the cafe meant Angela and Genji slide out quietly, a reassuring presence for the disgruntled shopkeeper one moment, a whisper in the wind the next. He takes great pleasure in guiding her through the gathered crowd, beautiful dress twirling as they wind through the sea of people with their fingers interlaced, until the waves break out onto the shore of the street.
Part one of his date included…. interruptions. That was fine, easily amended. Joints kick up softly with a mechanical whir as he starts them into a gentle stroll. Angela leans into his arm, her smile weighs comfortingly against his shoulder as he looks down.
“Your suit,” she starts, sparing a glance to the holes in his jacket and vest. Slowly, her free hand reaches out, pulling his jacket across his breast, adjusting it carely. “It’s ruined.” A look of pity overtakes her suddenly, brows pinching together. “And your wonderful plan for this date too. I’m so sorry, Genji. Oh, you had all that planned out…”
He lets himself smile, because it had still been half a meal, an invigorating fight. Time with Angela all the same, even if not exactly how he envisioned. “It’s fine,” he insists.
“And your suit. Look!” Angela points, her gaze is affixed to what is a lone, offensively colorful store amongst the line of building across the street, with Prom Proud printed atop the door in pretty, pink letters.
The little shop stands out like a sore thumb, and perhaps, matches their current predicament of a ruined jacket. A nice jacket, he lets himself lament, one he’d picked out himself for this very special date. Yet, the prospect of Angela finding him a new one now, is even more appealing.
A broad smile is returned to her. “Now?” He gets a bubbly laugh in answer, and she picks again at his tattered jacket.
“Is there a better time?” she asks.
Still arm in arm, they cross the street.
The owner of the store is an young man, dressed impeccably in a blue suit, with a complementing red polka-dot tie. He seems predominantly sympathetic at Genji’s jacket predicament, with Angela spinning a tale about angry felines and wrong-place-wrong-time. He listens, nodding along when appropriate, watching the frame of her face as she talks and smiles.
“I definitely have a few pieces in mind,” he says mysteriously, then disappears into the store room.
Angela takes her time to browsing, running her fingers across the fabric of all the lovely dresses displayed in the store. Genji follows her, smiling as he goes.
“So, a detour.” She stops at the end of the rack and turns to face him, eyes smiling. “But what about after this. What else have you planned, Genji Shimada?”
The smirk which overtakes him makes her eyes shine more, in such a beautiful accompaniment to the glitter of her dress. The sun which filters through the shop window hits it just right from this angle, reflecting off onto the floor, the walls, the floor; a more human version of a disco ball.
“That’s how you’re going to ask for all of my secrets, Doctor?” he returns, equally as challenging. He cocks an eyebrow. “You’ll have to try better than that.”
She wags a finger. “If you’re not careful, I’ll choose some awful lime-green thing you’ll only be able to ironically wear again on Christmas.”
He scoffs. “A threat? You’ll have to try better than that.”
“Ah, Mr and Mrs…?” They both look up, startled, where the shopkeeper has quickly returned with coats over his arm. “Sorry. I’ve found a few which might suit you, Mr…”
“Shimada,” finishes Genji, then glances to Angela, who has a slight blush on her cheeks. Neither correct him, too afraid to start the sentence either may or may not finish.
“Mr Shimada,” the young man repeats. “Right this way, we’ll get you set up with a room to try these on.”
The room is the closest picture of movie-cliche as Genji can conjure, with three body-length mirrors to showcase the three different angles of his new jacket. They are white, wooden, and seem to make the dressing room three times the size.
Angela stands smiling behind him as the shopkeeper hands him one of the jackets he had procured. It is black, with faint pinstripes chasing the fabric up along the shoulder pads to disappear into the color. Genji shrugs it on, watching his reflection in the mirror, and the blonde head still bobbing behind his arm.
“A good fit, I thought so,” the shopkeeper declares heartily. He’s smiling, and comes to adjust the coat around Genji’s shoulders, bumbling about, as if this were the most important job in the world. “Though, perhaps a lighter color, I think.”
Dress was always more Hanzo’s forte, always the brother with the impeccable yukata. He much preferred his own street rugian rags, green hair, wicked grin.
“Of course. Whichever you think.”
The man seems glad for his trust while Genji shrugs off the first offering. The next coat is steel grey, and he feels the change instantly. Angela comes into focus as he looks into the mirror again, eyes wide from behind him.
“I might have one more, give me a moment, out in the back somewhere...” The young man disappears. Angela is quick to replace him, smoothing down a line on the shoulderpad of the suit as he had done. She smiles at their reflections together.
Then it’s there, suddenly. Looking at the both of them in the mirror, the jacket and the dress shop is forgotten - Angela in her dress, hair pulled back still impeccably after the ordeal at the cafe, a soft smile on her lips she looks him up and down. A sinking feeling in his chest, the twinge of excitement.
He moves without thinking, leaning closer, chin dipped down as he comes to meet her and-
“You look nice.” He blinks back, to where Angela is still smiling at him in the mirror. She is still smoothing down one arm of the jacket. She has not moved. He has, but straightens himself quickly. “I like this color on you.”
“Uh, thanks. I mean. Thank you, Angela. I like it…. Too. Yes. I like it.”
She graces him with a slight frown in response, nothing more, nothing less. Perhaps she had not noticed, or perhaps she would notice the flush on his cheeks. He turns away quickly, after the shopkeeper.
“You’re getting it, then?” she calls after him.
--
Welcome back to the D&S Fab Collab event! This is our telling of Genji and Mercy’s first date! Coming fourth on our lineup was an fluff break authored by @galaxydetectiveswife.
♚ For illustration continuations, please limit these works to 8 panels. For prose continuations, please limit these fics to about 1k words. These are not benchmark figures, just the maximum amount for a submission.
♚ Submission from the next participating member is due on the 1st of June, either submitted to the blog or DMed to any staff member on the Discord server.
♚ Applications to participate for this round or “arc” have been closed, if you missed out, please keep an ear out for announcements about the commencement of the next prompt!
Please note: At present, this event remains a collaborative effort only for those D&S members who have signed up. You are welcome to observe and make suggestions as to the telling of our tale, but contributing to the story remains limited at this time.
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Question thingy cos I’m procrastinating going to bed which I will be heavily regretting at 7:30 when I have to get up for class but yolo
Spotify, SoundCloud, or Pandora? I don’t really use any of them tbh, like, I like to have all of my music in iTunes/on my phone - but if I ever stream music it’s actually normally on YouTube.
is your room messy or clean? Right now it’s very messy, I was supposed to clean it days ago but I’m lazy.
what color are your eyes? Blue.
do you like your name? why? I’ve always been indifferent to it - or, really, it’s that depersonalised feel where I tell people my name is Christina and I answer to Christina but when I start to think about it, say it out loud slowly and mindfully, it feels like a foreign object in my mouth. So I try not to do that because that’s uncomfortable as fuck. But anyway, yeah, indifferent, but ever since I learned about Christina Mirabilis and how much she has come to mean to me, it’s better, like, it feels like fate I guess. If such a thing exists, which is another thing I am ambivalent about.
what is your relationship status? extremely single so if anyone wants to take one for the team and date me, that would be swell.
describe your personality in 3 words or less? neurotic, means well.
what color hair do you have? purple
what kind of car do you drive? colour? sadly I do not have a car, but I do have a scooter, it’s silver.
where do you shop? like, as in where do I buy my groceries? Haha lmao but honestly this is so vague. Bitch I’m poor and fat, I shop anywhere where I can find something that doesn’t look completely hideous and that my card won’t get declined trying to buy.
how would you describe your style? see above. Would like to dress way cooler than I do but lack of money, and - more importantly, since thrift shops are a thing when you’re skinny - being fat.
favorite social media account? Tumblr I guess, even though it’s often incredibly frustrating, because Facebook is a shitstain on the fabric of humanity and I don’t have Twitter and rarely use Instagram.
what size bed do you have? double.
any siblings? little sister, she’s 25, lives in Melbourne.
if you can live anywhere in the world where would it be? why? somewhere that is perpetually warm, where I can speak the language well enough to practice as a clinical psychologist, but still in a big city - I’m thinking either Sydney or Queensland, or California. South of France would be fucking lit too, I guess I know enough French that I could become fluent with total immersion. Anyway, I just want to be warm year-round, seasonal depression always kicks my ass, I fucking loathe being cold.
favorite snapchat filter? fuck man I don’t know, I don’t remember the last time I used a snapchat filter.
favorite makeup brand(s) depends on which type of makeup, I have different favourite brands for different products. But, generally, cheap, I guess. Although my two favourite makeup items are an eyeshadow that I got from Topshop, and a Makeup Revolution highlight.
how many times a week do you shower? most days.
favorite tv show? that is a really difficult question, I have so many favourites. Right now it’s Game of Thrones, obviously. But I think Dollhouse is possibly my all-time favourite TV show. And right now I’m watching Vikings, which I’m fucking loving, just finished the second season. Although HONESTLY I don’t give a fuck about Princess Aslaug, when the fuck are Ragnar and Lagertha gonna get back together because Lagertha is my fucking bae.
shoe size? normally 7 or 8 in NZ sizes, or 38EU.
how tall are you? 5′2″ of pure queer fury.
sandals or sneakers? docs.
do you go to the gym? lmao.
describe your dream date? I’ve done this before but basically - luxury version with the girl I’m in love with involves long extended holiday wandering around the Mediterranean and just having lazy days of eating and napping and swimming and having sex and exploring and shopping. Other than that, I just really love to go to an outdoor bar on a warm summer’s afternoon and have sangria or margaritas or wine and antipasto or tapas, and just chill and chat, and maybe have a sneaky cigarette. just, like, yeah. perfect.
how much money do you have in your wallet at the moment? none, I don’t carry cash most of the time.
what color socks are you wearing? grey with black polka dots, with a rabbit on each, they used to have pom poms on them for the rabbit’s tale but they’ve long since disintegrated.
how many pillows do you sleep with? I sleep on one pillow but I have another one on the other side of my bed.
do you have a job? what do you do? I am a supervisor in a bookstore.
how many friends do you have? I don’t know off the top of my head, I’m not inclined to sit here and count them.
whats the worst thing you have ever done? taken my pain out on my own body rather than directing my anger at the people who hurt me.
whats your favorite candle scent? I don’t know but Sophie got me this Limoncello-scented one from Bath and Body Works in Vancouver but it’s humungous and heavy as fuck so she couldn’t afford to send it to me but I hope maybe when she eventually comes back she’ll bring it with her because I think that would be my favourite scent.
3 favourite boy names? I don’t know, honestly, I don’t often think about boy names, I guess cos I’m fucking gay as shit so boys never cross my mind in any capacity. But I like Elliott. But I also like that name for a girl so idk,
3 favourite girl names? I have heaps but the first three that spring to mind are Anneke, Rhiannon, and Sinead.
favorite actor? don’t know tbh. Probably Harrison Ford as Han Solo, cos he’s my son.
favorite actress? a hard choice but Emilia Clarke is the one I crush on the hardest so yeah idk.
who is your celebrity crush? who ISN’T? I swear I’m in love with half the women in music and film. Emilia Clarke is a big one, obviously, but also at the moment I’m crushing mega hard on Tash Sultana.
favorite movie? I don’t know, I’ll just say Amélie because that film never fails to cheer me up.
do you read a lot? what’s your favourite book? I do read a lot, and I have no fucking idea.
money or brains? In a partner? Brains, I guess, although that’s very subjective, given Gardner’s Theory of Multiple Intelligences - I guess it depends on what you value. I, personally, value emotional intelligence.
do you have a nickname? what is it? Stina.
how many times have you been to the hospital? Uhhh. I don’t know off the top of my head, and I probably can’t count accurately because there are a few admissions that I just straight up don’t remember. At least 10 times, I would say.
top 10 favourite songs? nah, that’s too hard.
do you take any medications daily? yeah, I take sertraline (anti-depressant), prazosin (alpha-blocker - for PTSD), and birth control (for PCOS). I also take magnesium and vitamin D because they’re both fucking lifesaving tbh.
what is your skin type? (oily, dry, etc) I don’t know. All I know is that it never fucking does what I want it to.
what is your biggest fear? The people I love dying, especially my close family.
how many kids do you want? more than one but no more than three.
whats your go to hair style? down. I always wear it down. I have a pretty large side-undercut, so.
what type of house do you live in? (big, small, etc) The house itself is really big, it’s an old villa, but it’s divided into two flats, we’re on the bottom floor. It isn’t huge, we have a tiny lounge, a slightly-larger-than-average kitchen, and average-sized bathroom/laundry - but our rooms are all fucking humungous.
who is your role model? my therapist, my old high school guidance counsellor, my friends.
what was the last compliment you received? Owen said my hair looked good today.
what was the last text you sent? it was a really long Facebook message to the girl I’m currently talking to, we’re going on a date on Thursday, I’m excited.
how old were you when you found out santa wasn’t real? Idk, I figured it out pretty young, I was a bright kid. Maybe five or six?
what is your dream car? I don’t really know. I like 70s muscle cars but honestly at the end of the day any car is a good car. Plus, practically-speaking, I would like something that is kind on the environment, an electric car or a hybrid.
opinion on smoking? I think that it is something people do when they need something to alleviate a distressing situation. It’s no secret that smoking is more prevalent among the poor and the mentally ill, as well as those with high-stress jobs. I am an ex-smoker who relapses one or two times a year, the last time I had a cigarette was early April. I sometimes start smoking again when I am not doing well emotionally or if I’m really stressed (eg during exams). And I don’t like it, it makes me feel tired, it makes my throat phlegmy, it leaves a bad taste in my mouth and it makes me stink of smoke, and it is fucking expensive, but it meets a need. So my opinion is that I don’t like smoking, but sometimes it has a hold on me that I can’t resist, and I have the utmost compassion for anyone who smokes.
do you go to college? yeah, I’m in my last year of my undergrad.
what is your dream job? clinical child and youth psychologist.
would you rather live in rural areas or the suburbs? inner-city suburbs - far out enough to still live in a free-standing house with a garden, but close enough that I can walk to the city, or be there after a short bus trip. That’s the situation I live in at the moment and it’s perfect.
do you take shampoo and conditioner bottles from hotels? No, because I’m a snob and only like to use my own shampoo and conditioner. But I don’t see anything wrong with it, since you’re paying for them. Taking appliances and dressing gowns and towels, however, is not acceptable in my opinion.
do you have freckles? Not really.
do you smile for pictures? Sometimes but I hate having my photo taken so it always looks strained.
how many pictures do you have on your phone? Not that many at the moment, I just did a big dump of photos onto my laptop, I like to do that from time to time so my iCloud doesn’t run out of space.
have you ever peed in the woods? yeah, and on the side of the road, and once behind Sophie’s house when her flatmate was taking a really fucking long time in the shower and I desperately needed to pee.
do you still watch cartoons? nah, but only cos they’re not my cup of tea, absolutely no hate.
do you prefer chicken nuggets from Wendy’s or McDonalds? I’m a vegetarian.
Favorite dipping sauce? see above.
what do you wear to bed? pyjama pants and an old t-shirt.
have you ever won a spelling bee? no, they’re not a thing in New Zealand, but if they were I would have fucking cleaned up - not to blow my own horn or anything but I am a freakishly good speller. It’s kind of a not terribly useful skill though, and doesn’t say anything about my level of intelligence. Just like my weird propensity for memorising numbers, even if I haven’t used them in 10 or 15 years (like my NCEA student number, and the mobile number for the cellphone I lost when I was 14).
what are your hobbies? netflix, napping, and memeing.
can you draw? nope, not even a little bit.
do you play an instrument? yeah I play the violin, and I can also play piano, and I’m a decent choral singer, and I was once an okay percussionist, and I am a below-average guitarist, and an abysmal flute player. But those last three were self-taught so yeah.
what was the last concert you saw? The Veils BUT I’m going to see Sigur Rós on Friday and I am dying of excitement.
tea or coffee? peppermint tea.
Starbucks or Dunkin Donuts? Dunkin Donuts, but not for the coffee, I just really like donuts. Plus we don’t have Dunkin Donuts in Wellington so it’s a huge novelty for me when I get to have them, I’m almost as excited about getting Dunkin Donuts when I fly into Auckland on Friday as I am about seeing my favourite band live haha.
do you want to get married? Yes.
what is your crush’s first and last initial? I don’t currently have a crush.
are you going to change your last name when you get married? No but I will consider hyphenating if that’s something my wife wants to do.
what color looks best on you? black I guess.
do you miss anyone right now? I kinda miss Soph but these days I’m just starting to, like, I don’t know. Adjust. Which is nice. Realising that the way things worked out is for the best, because otherwise I would have been in for a lot of misery. Even though Sophie is a wonderful person whom I love and care about a huge amount. Apart from that, I miss being close to Nic, because she is like a sister to me, and I wish that we lived near each other so we could support one another.
do you sleep with your door open or closed? Closed.
do you believe in ghosts? No, but I could be convinced to change my mind with enough evidence.
what is your biggest pet peeve? People with bad manners, it is really not that fucking hard to say “please” and “thank you”? I mean, I’m talking in a work context here pretty much, customers can be so fucking rude. And the rude ones are all, without a single exception, baby boomers. So... yeah.
last person you called? Owen.
favorite ice cream flavour? I’m not really an ice cream person but I really like Ben and Jerry’s chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream, that’s another thing I’m super looking forward to when I go to Auckland. If it seems like I’m obsessed with food, it’s because I am - but I am especially obsessed with getting all of the bread and sugar I can into myself in the next week because next week I’m starting the keto diet and I’m dying a little inside just thinking about it, I really fucking love sugar and bread.
regular oreos or golden oreos? regular.
chocolate or rainbow sprinkles? rainbow.
what shirt are you wearing? t-shirt with very thin stripes.
what is your phone background? beyoncé in the formation video.
are you outgoing or shy? depends on the context, but mostly shy.
do you like it when people play with your hair? yeah.
do you like your neighbors? I don’t know them but they seem nice in passing.
do you wash your face? at night? in the morning? always.
have you ever been high? yes.
have you ever been drunk? yes.
last thing you ate? cheesecake.
favorite lyrics right now? eh.
summer or winter? SUMMER.
day or night? Idk I like both, it depends.
dark, milk, or white chocolate? milk.
favorite month? January.
what is your zodiac sign? Aries but I don’t believe in that shit.
who was the last person you cried in front of? Either my therapist or Owen and Autumn, I can’t remember. Possibly both, I went through a stage of pretty much constantly crying a couple of weeks back lmao.
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Do you have any art tips?
Uhhhhhh Funk im not The Greatest Artist ™ but I’ll try to bestow some Wisdom on you. Keep in mind Art is Subjective and I’m no expert and all that so take everything with a grain of salt but that being said I’ll try to give u Tips and Tricks
-listen so if you have a boring class at school just draw in it. School is great because you have 1. Access to paper at all times 2. Incredibly boring lectures. If you have a study hall that’s the Drawing JACKPOT. Basically what I’m saying is practice all the time when you have energy but like that’s such boring art advice. It’s important but “practice! uwu” is like what people with Natural Art Talent say when they didn’t have to figure everything out from the ground up so it’s kind of aggravating
-There’s gonna be people better than you. Chances are you have a friend who’s better than you because this is Tumblr we all draw. Try Not To Compare Yourself ™ which idk how to do but it’s bad don’t do it
-unless you find a terrible person with worse art than you in which case FUCK DUDE COMPARE YOURSELF TO THEM! THEYRE HORRIBLE AND THEY CANT DRAW FOR SHIT LOOK WHOS LAUGHING NOW!
-“work until your idols become your rivals” is absolute bullshit because your idols are working at it at the same time you are. You fool. You imbecile. I feel like this works better for writing when your idols can become irrelevant or straight up die between you being an aspiring author 8 year old and a tired 30 year old who just wrote The Great American Novel ™ or just kind of. Leave the fandom if you’re writing fanfic. Anyway
-ok that’s all the preachy shit, time for Real Art Advice ™. Keep in mind I do digital cartoony shit with Strong Lineart and cel shading for the most part and I pretty much only draw people so my knowledge is limited to that. if you wanna be a professional artist maybe do other things and Expand your Abilities ™
-Ok first off if you’re using Gimp or Photoshop please love yourself and download Firealpaca or illegally torrent Paint Tool Sai or something. I swear by Firealpaca it cured my depression but like. Photoshop is Trash for drawing. Get Firealpaca it has Line Correction ™
-Keep Line Correction ™ at like. A 5 when you’re sketching and at a 19 (the maximum) when you’re lining, coloring, shading, highlighting, doing literally anything that isn’t sketching
-Sketching digitally can be hard if you’re used to sketching on paper and I find it easier to do a sketch on paper, take a picture of it on my phone or scan it, and line/color it digitally. You do you and figure out what works best
-speaking of which I refused to use sketchbooks until I was Worthy ™ of not drawing on notebook paper and uhhhhhh that’s dumb just get a sketchbook they cost a little more than a notebook at Target it’s not super expensive. Although if you’re not financially in the position to buy a sketchbook anyway, just hoard notebooks from school that you didn’t use much. Bam, that’s your new sketchbook
-the Head Circle Cross Thing and the Spheres For Shoulder, Elbow, and Wrist Thing are good and important and will save you
-hands are hard so use references but bullshit your way through it. eventually they’ll look good (I haven’t gotten there yet)
-HAVE FUN WITH NOSES OH MY GOD. Noses are super fun and cool because there’s, like, infinite variety with them, they can be as long or short, thin or thick, rounded or pointy as you want, you can make them be, like, triangles or circles or more squareish or diamond-shaped, the base of the nose can be about as high or as low on the face as you want, you can make the nostrils prominent or not really there at all, they can add another Layer to a character’s design, oh my goodness noses are so fun. They’re like, severely underrated and oh my god I could gush about how fucking fun noses are
-same with facial expressions. Where you put the pupils and how big they are, how much of the eye is covered by eyelids, the way the eyebrows are, the mouth, tons of other shit. There’s loads of variety and so much you can do and honestly having fun with the facial expression is The Best Part. There’s tons of Face Art Chart Memes floating around, you know the ones, save it to your phone/computer and practice those on your own time it’s fun
-if you don’t know how to do something, avoiding it won’t help you. Just kind of draw around with it in your sketchbook or in a “I’m not posting this” file until you feel confident enough to do it in your Real Projects ™.
-Ok for lining did you know..… it isn’t illegal to erase parts of the lineart to clean it up.… just be careful and draw it back in to the best of your abilities if you erase too far and use a smaller eraser brush/lining brush for this… I know it’s tedious nobody likes lining it’s okay you can do this put on some good music
-use mcfucking references
-eyedrop character’s official colors but adjust said colors based on the color of your background to make them look less funky is my general rule for clothing, I usually pick the hair/skin by myself or from something I’ve already drawn though
-for flats, make sure your lineart is all closed off and there aren’t any “holes” cuz that’ll mess up your coloring
-so how I do flats is I use the magic wand tool to select whatever I want to color, expand selection 3 pixels (in firealpaca you can set it to do this automatically), pick the color I need, turn up the brush to as big as possible, and color it in. It saves the time you’d spend with cleaning up where the color gets outside the lines
-you can do the flats on one layer, but I personally like to do every Object on a different layer so when I do shading, I know what goes on top of what
-if a color is darker than the lineart it looks ugly so pick your line color with caution (or just use black! Unlike shading black lineart tends to go with pretty much everything)
-SHADE YOUR GODDAMN ART. Like, what makes people go “wow holy shit that’s good!” is the shading + highlights, don’t be lazy ya fuck.
-I’d take a break before shading to Refresh Your Eyes ™ but also I constantly forget this is a good idea
-don’t shade with black oh my god. Unless you’re doing Strong Punchy Dramatic Stuff or monochrome black and white stuff, don’t shade with black, and if you’re doing that it’ll probably be drawn into the lineart. Don’t shade with black please we can tell you’re doing it and it looks bad
-highlighting with white isn’t too bad though, especially with the eyes, but it might look too strong in some places
-As a general rule, shading is darker and more saturated, highlighting is lighter and less saturated. Whether it gets warmer or cooler depends a lot on what color or thing you’re shading or what you want the feel of the picture to be and I’m not 100% sure how to do it myself so uh. Trust your gut and change the color if it looks wrong I guess.
-where exactly the shadows or highlights fall depends on lots of things, just kind of. Look at how things work irl maybe? This is the kind of thing that you just have to practice, and it’ll look like shit until suddenly it doesn’t sorry I’m not sure what to say
-One Medium Sized White Dot on a layer above the lineart where the pupil borders the Iris (or the whites of the eyes if you’re like me and you make the pupil and Iris one thing) works for a glint in the eye that makes a person look less dead and more cute. How big you’re gonna make it depends on how adorable you want the person to be
-SMOOTH BORDERS FOR THE SHADING ARE REALLY IMPORTANT IF YOURE DOING CEL SHADING which is why firealpaca is my best friend thanks line smoothing. If you’re doing like. Soft shading or painterly shit or other kinds of shading it’s less Super Important but like. Still be sort of neat. Unless being really messy and sketchy is what you’re going for but even then you still need to be sort of careful
-for simple backgrounds, it’s like. Easy to make it interesting. Add polka dots to the background or a big old square or a gradient or a cloud filter or something the possibilities are endless. Another option is to straight up make it transparent and write a secret message in white on the side. But uhh never do a blank white background at the very least fill it with a solid color
-ok style is kind of hard because I never had to struggle to find my style? I just “drew in my handwriting” so to speak and then if along the way I realized something looked shitty I just changed how I drew it slightly? I guess a thing you could do if you’re in tune enough is look at the styles of things you do like and things you don’t and figure out why you do and don’t like it. “I like how *2010s cartoon* does Eyes!” great take that general concept. “I hate how this shitty yaoi has enormous hands!” great then don’t do that. It’s all Personal Preference my dude style is Your Own Thing
-notes aren’t everything but fuck do they feel nice. Self reblogs are fine but don’t overdo it, I’d say reblog it Twice to account for time zones and tag it as self reblog so as to not be a dick
This got long whoops. That’s all I can think of but I hope this helps it’s All I Know
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we can’t tell the future but that’s just the beauty of the world we know.
Do you own pastel-colored pants?
I don’t think I do anymore.
What type of lotion do you use?
Whatever unscented lotion I can find.
What were your favorite clothing stores in high school?
Probably Aeropostale or Old Navy.
If you could have a car in any color you wanted, which color?
Blue.
What is your favorite color, do you look good in it, & do you wear it a lot?
Blue, I don’t wear it often though.
Name someone you know who hates pink.
Breezy, my three year old.
What is your favorite Avril Lavigne song?
I don’t have a particular favorite, I like almost all of her songs.
Do you kill bugs?
I have pest control come every three months so that I don’t have to deal with bugs because if I see it in my house it’s gonna die.
Have you ever had a bedroom that had wallpaper on the walls?
Absolutely not.
Do you own any rompers?
I used to. I don’t think I do anymore though.
What’s one thing you’ve done to celebrate Earth Day?
I try to plant a tree or plant of some kind.
Do you use window clings?
No.
What color is your stapler?
I don’t own a stapler.
Do you have a desk that you sit at in your room?
No, I sit in my bed with my laptop on my lap.
What do you miss about college?
I never really got the college experience. I got pregnant & married instead.
Was your middle school crush the same as your high school crush?
Nope, I didn’t go to school with my middle school crush after middle school.
What is/was your dream school?
I grew up in California so I really for the longest time wanted to go to USC or UCLA. However, after high school I wanted to go to VCU, but we couldn’t afford it.
Do you wish you could talk to someone about your past? If so, who?
No, I attempted to go to therapy for postpartum depression but my therapist just wanted to focus on my dad’s alcoholism. So I just don’t really care to anymore, I have moved past it on my own so I don’t really want to relive it.
What motivates you?
Music. My kids. My husband.
Have you ever completed a weight loss program?
Nope.
When was the last time you did something for the first time?
I was just talking to my husband about this the other day, I can’t remember what we were talking about though. But I fried shrimp for dinner for the first time, that was exciting & it was delicious.
Which do you prefer: Valentine’s Day or Easter?
Either? I don’t really celebrate anymore, unless you count my lilies & bottle of liquor from my husband. I like to celebrate with my kids more.
Do you wait until the last minute to decorate, or do you decorate early?
Decorate for what? I’ve been in my house for over 18 months & it’s still not decorated.
What’s your favorite Starbucks drink?
Year round, iced caramel macchiato with extra caramel, light ice and whole milk. I count down to holiday drink time though caramel brulee latte is my absolute favorite Starbucks drink ever.
What were you wearing in the last good selfie you took?
Probably my PJs, my three year old & I take plenty of selfies on Snapchat everyday. She loves filters.
What’s on your wish list right now?
A lot of stuff, the number one thing was a new laptop & my husband already bought me one so I have to figure out what else there is so that people have something to buy me for Christmas.
What do you use to sweeten your tea?
If it’s iced, sugar. If it’s hot, honey.
Have you ever owned an expensive eyeshadow palette?
Yes, I actually have a few in my closet right now.
When was the last time you stepped outside of your comfort zone?
Um I’m not sure.
How would you rate your self-esteem? Low, healthy, or high?
Low.
Do you own a tripod for your camera?
No, I don’t have a fancy camera either, I use my phone more than anything.
Were you a bigger fan of Lindsay Lohan or Hilary Duff?
I liked them both.
Do you make Halloween costumes out of clothes from your closet?
No.
Do you enjoy putting outfits together?
No, I never really know what to wear.
Would you rather it rain or snow?
Definitely snow.
What does your umbrella look like?
It’s black with rainbow polka dots on it.
What’s one thing you’ve had a toxic reaction to? Do you mean like, emotionally/mentally toxic?
Ohhh, I have no idea but I’m sure I’ve been toxic before.
Which do you prefer: cropped tops or tunic tops?
They’re both cute but I don’t think I’d ever wear a crop top until I lose some weight.
What’s a style or trend that you think is ridiculous?
I don’t know, I don’t really pay attention to trends.
Which YouTuber do you want to be more like?
I just want to be a YouTuber. I need to start recording.
Do you like stuffed animals?
Yes. Although I’ve given all of mine to my kids.
What was your favorite class in high school?
Forensics.
Have you ever gotten straight A’s in a class? If so, which classes?
I got straight A’s until high school & my first semester in college.
Were there any subjects that you got a perfect SAT score in? If so, what?
I got zero perfect scores, but I did okay.
Are you happy today? If so, what made you happy today?
Eh it’s an okay day.
Is your bed right by a window?
No, it’s across the room from the windows.
Do you spend more time in your bedroom or your living room?
Living room, my husband gets mad when I’m in the bedroom too much.
Which holiday is your favorite to decorate for?
Christmas.
Do you name stuffed animals still?
No, I help my three year old name hers though.
What titles did you win in the senior class polls?
Absolutely zero but I’m pretty sure they were rigged my senior year anyway.
Were you popular in school?
No, I’m not even really sure anyone besides my friends knew who I was.
If you’re from the US, what states have you lived in?
Virginia, Indiana, California, & Florida.
Who was your best roommate?
My husband?
Was your first roommate your best roommate?
Um the only person I’ve ever lived with is my husband. I mean we lived in a house with like 7 other people at one point but I don’t really think any of them would be considered good roommates, well except one.
What’s the best family vacation you’ve ever been on?
When I was probably about 7 or so we went to New Jersey for Christmas, probably the last time all the cousins were together for a holiday. Anyway someone had chicken pox so they sent all of us out to play together in the sunroom, I had already had it twice so I didn’t end up getting, everyone else did though. We also played in the snow, sledded down the hill & went to the QuikStop (From Clerks) multiple times.
Have you ever wanted to be a model?
No, it’s not something I’ve ever really wanted to do.
What years did you attend prom?
I attended my junior prom my junior year & prom my senior year, did not have fun either time & wish I could go back & change it.
What do you want to be for Halloween?
Halloween has passed but next year I’m going to try to talk my girls into being the Sanderson sisters from Hocus Pocus & my husband can be Billy.
Which member of your family are you closest to?
Um? I’m not really sure. I used to be super close to my family but not so much anymore.
If you have any regrets, what is the biggest one? If not, why do you have no regrets?
Letting my dreams fall to the wayside for so long. Giving up on myself after high school.
Would you ever apply to be on reality TV? Why?
I have been telling my best friend for years we need a reality TV show or vlog. You wouldn’t believe some of the shit that happens to us/our families.
What is the best thing that has ever happened to you?
Meeting my husband, he literally saved my life. I was in a really dark place when I met him & I don’t know where I would be without him or if I would even be alive.
Do you have a hard time letting things go?
Eh my husband hates this about me but no matter how bad you treat me I’m always ready to give you another chance. I believe the best in everyone & I’m always getting hurt because of it.
What have you accomplished in life that has made you the most happy?
I graduated, I’m the first in my family to do that. I survived my horrendous childhood. I had two beautiful children. I am married to the most amazing man. I am going back to school for a degree in a field that I have dreamed about since I was 7.
Have you ever struggled with your weight?
Right now. In high school I was 125lbs at my heaviest. I now weigh 151lbs, I’ve also had two kids & I no longer do ballet. I am struggling with body image issues because of my weight but I’m trying to get on track with losing it.
Do you like to stay in your pajamas all day long?
I mean if I don’t have anything I need to do then yeah I’ll stay in my PJs all day but I try to get dressed.
In high school did you have a lot of friends? Do you still keep in touch?
I had quite a few friends. There was a core group but I still keep in touch with quite a number of my friends. My best friend has been my best friend since September 2004 so like 16 years?
Do you really care about such issues as abortion, religion, and global warming?
Yes because they are inherently serious issues.
Who is the biggest womanizer you know?
Hmmm, that’s a tough question because I know quite a few.
Would you ever have a threesome?
I’ve had one before but I don’t think I’d ever do it with my husband because well I don’t share.
Who is the most attractive person you know?
I’m married but I definitely would leave my husband in a heartbeat for Idris Elba, sorry not sorry.
When did you last feel the most free?
Um, I don’t know. Probably the last time I went surfing, forever ago.
Is there anyone who likes (or liked) you and had a really hard time getting over you?
I don’t know? I know there’s a few people that liked me, but I got married.
Did you ever love someone and feel like it was wrong?
No? I was literally always raised that you can’t help who you love, I’m bisexual & knew from a pretty young age. It’s not wrong to love whoever you love.
What’s the longest amount of time you liked/loved somebody for?
My husband, we’ve been married almost 10 years.
What song makes you cry?
Ummm lots of songs.
Do you like rock or rap music better?
I like both equally, I have very eclectic, taste in music.
If you could watch someone change, would you?
Ummm?
Ever known someone with an eating disorder?
I THINK so but she never admitted to it.
Have you ever had a white Christmas?
The day after Christmas 2010 it snowed an unbelievable 18″ in Virginia.
What’s something you want to do but aren’t sure of yet?
I’m not sure, really I’m just living day to day right now.
Biggest lie you ever told?
I don’t know & I’d rather not relive my past.
Do you have a religion?
I’m labeled Southern Baptist, although I regard myself as more spiritual than religious.
Believe that there is a point to churches?
Of course, people believe what they believe. It gives them a sense of peace to be able to worship their higher power.
How do eat Oreos?
I don’t generally eat Oreos.
Converse or Vans?
I love Vans.
Dancing or watching others dance?
I love watching competitions. I have no rhythm so when I dance it’s not normally pretty.
Favorite thing to touch/feel?
I don’t really know, I don’t really pay attention.
Rather be in a tornado or a large earthquake?
I’ve been through both, I lived in California for a while & then in Indiana for a while. I’m in Virginia now & lived in Florida for a few years. Been through it all, although I, strangely miss earthquakes.
Would you rather Santa or the Easter Bunny actually exist? Santa is pretty cool.
Would you rather spread gossip or start a fight?
Gossip is stupid. Do I gossip? Sure, but I don’t spread what I hear & I would never lie about someone. Starting fights is stupid too. We’re not kids anymore.
What has been the best New Year's for you so far & why?
I’m not really entirely sure I’m 30 so I’ve gone through a few New Year’s.
What is the weirdest fear you’ve ever heard of someone having? Do you have any weird fears, and if so, what are they?
I don’t think any fear is weird, no matter what I think about it, it’s very real to that person. My fear that everyone would think is weird is grasshoppers/crickets. I hate them & will not even be in the same room as them. Like I won’t even go into the garage if there’s one in there, I also refuse to mow my lawn because they’re out there & they jump on me.
How did you find Tumblr?
I have had a blog on just about every blogging platform that was cool while I was in high school.
What of the 8 wonders of the world do you find the most fascinating, if any?
Hmmm, I’m not sure. I think everything about the world is interesting, there’s so many things that are unexplained & they fascinate me.
Do you have a webcam? If you do, do you ever use it and what for?
I’m trying to get into streaming & starting a podcast.
What is something that you think is really underrated?
Hmmm, I’m not really sure.
Have you ever had a dream where you died? Did anything weird happen to your body after it?
No? At least not that I remember.
What’s the scariest dream you’ve ever had? How about the most realistic?
I’m not sure. I have pretty messed up dreams especially while pregnant. Probably the scariest dream would be the one where my husband died. It was entirely to realistic, like it took my breath away when I woke up.
Do you have a favorite fashion trend? What is it? Is there a fashion trend right now that you think is completely ridiculous, and if so, what?
I really don’t follow trends, fashion is fashion but I’ll wear what I feel most comfortable in.
Do you tend to like original horror movies or re-makes better? What’s your favorite horror movie? Is it an original or a remake?
I like most all horror movies but recent remakes are shameful. I don’t really have a favorite though, I like them all for the most part, it’s my favorite genre of movie.
What is one characteristic in a person that you cannot stand? What characteristics do you like best in a person? Do you possess any of these characteristics?
I don’t really know. I don’t really like people that don’t have self-control or don’t have patience. I don’t really think I like a certain characteristic more than any other. I’m not entirely sure what characteristics I possess, it will be different to everyone I know.
What kind of jeans do you like best?
I wear mainly leggings lately but I like skinny jeans too.
What has been the most traumatic experience of your life? Does it still bother you?
My boyfriend was killed by his father. They were fighting over me, my boyfriend wanted to come see me, as I was in a different state. His dad pushed him & he tripped over something & fell out the picture window on the second story, he died from his injuries. I would say it bothers me, for the longest time I was sure we were going to get married, we had planned our whole lives together & then it was ripped away from me in an instant, I didn’t even find out he died until almost a week later.
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Saint Bernard
“How do you bluff a bluff?”
I resent this question more than anything. I have yet to have an accurate answer for my crazy great Aunt,
“Girl, how do you bluff a bluff?”
I still ignored the question. I didn’t want to answer her. In all truth to bluff a bluff, I think is a paradox so there is no way to bluff a bluff, obviously. My crazy great Aunt still just sat there, looking for some sort of answer from me. Even though she was about 70-100 now, she still wore these artificial Red nails. Blood red, every day she’d do them again and again, her house was tinted wth a smell of nail polish, and she seemed to like it that way. My mother made me watch her as a sort of punishment some times. Usually my mother would be the one to sit with her and take her relentless and dementia-fed banter, but I decided to tell my mom “fuck you”, last week over a dispute with using my car late night to see my boyfriend. And that’s what got me here.
“You know what we used to do with silent girls like you when I was young? We’d take you out for drinks get you real real drunk, and we’d be pouring our drinks out the whole time. The next day, the whole town knew what you was keepin’ so silent about. In this old age, I feel I can tell you what this little girl was once silent about”,
She said and pulled out a postcard from her purse. She handed it to me, the postcard had a picture of a giant lake, with mountainous bluffs on both sides. The top of the post card read,
“Greetings! From Lake Minniwauken”.
“That’s where I first saw them. They were the ones who keep everyone silent. Normally these things, they hide in the woods and they wait to find you when you least expect it. No one knows the true story, but I’ll tell you what little girl, when I was younger, I got the nerve to go up to bluffs real late at night. Everyone in my actual family, who is long dead now, told me to never go up there but I did. And I’ll tell you what, that night when I got to the top, I saw a spacecraft as big as the lake. A giant black almond far below where clouds should lie, touching from cliff to cliff. The water below coursed and waved from the energy. These dark giant shadows climbed down to the cliffs. They daunted me in size. I could see them slipping through the trees around me. They sounded like cicadas, the closer they got, this growing pitch. When they were right in proximity of me, I froze, and all of a sudden I could feel them sort of in my head. They showed me years and years passing by in a matter of seconds, all of the mistakes I should avoid to become the person you see today.
But soon after they re-mixed my thoughts, and I couldn’t even find the trails I used to get in. Every time I thought I found an exit to the park, I’d re-enter, like it was a maze. After walking the whole lake, I finally found an old trail on the North side was open. I could swear I walked past it numerous times and it was covered by a landslide of rocks, but on 2 or so passes the rocks seemed to just disappear. I followed this trail and found my way out through the Indians. The reason we never talked of this before is because last night those same shadows came to my room, and froze me just the same. They said they were going to take you”.
I was out of her house in a quick fashion after that. It wasn’t too long until I met up with my boyfriend, Jon at a diner in town.
“I’ve missed you so much Katie, being stuck in a rigid job isn’t all the fun I thought it would be. I think I need some time away from everything, I was thinking of joining my Cousin in a short trip to Lake Minniwauken, would you want to go?”.
he said, I thought it over for a few moments, and figured it was just some sort of odd coincidence.
“Sure, how long are we gonna be gone for?” I said.
“Maybe a week, my Cousin has this massive tent, and we can cover the fees of camping and what not. We are thinking of going next week. He was bringing his girlfriend as well, so it’s not just like us, you know. It’s the closest major lake to here, so we figured it would be the best. I hear there is some ghosts too, should be right up your alley”, he said.
“I’d love to go.” I said.
In a matter of no time, I was on the road with my boyfriend, his cousin Gerald, and Gerald’s girlfriend, Amanda . “Men At Work”, blasted whilst the greens and tans of the countryside filtered into the thick forest greens. The forests were thick, and went for miles without a gas station or any sense of life. We played American pop music the whole drive. Mainly because of my boyfriend’s uncle, he happened to be an avid collector of Americana, and sometimes we found ourselves ditching the discos for his mix-tapes. He was a gigantic influence on Jon, and his whole car playlist was stained by his preference. Though the man could be a bit stuck up, he had some damn good taste, and you could hear it from track to track on the ride down. I didn’t know what to expect of Lake Minniwauken, at this point the darkness and oddity of my great Aunt’s stories was fading. Jon said it was one of the biggest lakes he’d ever been to, the forests were unlike anything else he’d ever seen. Amanda and Gerald were silent about the whole thing, exchanging smiles with us, but not saying much. Amanda was on the atlas for directions, so Gerald was probably mostly fixed to the road. They didn’t seem to mind us much. I tried to grab a book from Jon’s bag, but he kocked my hand out of the way and sifted one out himself and handed it to me. The title was “The Strange History of Lake Minnwauken”.
“Oooooo”. I said in a gleeful way and opened it up.
The first pages had illustrations of the lake early and semi-new. It seemed like an older book. As I turned to the first chapter it read,
“Lake Minnwauken: Lake of Dark Spirits”.
As I read on, I tried to picture what I was reading.
I could see the indians that were said to once inhabit the lake, coming to it early in the morning sun. Shadows patrolling the lake startled them and they thought it to be the whites. When they recognized these shadows as spirits, they named the lake, Lake Minniwauken, or as some call it “The Devil’s Lake”. After trying to inhabit the coasts of the lake, some of the indians found their own unexplainably drowned in the lake after the first night’s rest. It was unclear whether they drowned themselves, or something else had. It wasn’t long before they pulled back to the bluffs surrounding, but now they found some of their men jumping off the bluffs in a trance-like state by the 2nd morning, always the ones on watch. They huddled in lean-tos and continued hunting with minimal patrols. For all the resources they built, most would be sacked in the middle of the night. Disease started to become more prevalent as the seasons progressed and soon enough settlers would kill what was left of the indians.
The question I found myself asking after reading this, in my own way admittedly, was were they truly killed by settlers? Or were they dead upon arrival, and these spirits had long possessed the living ones turning them into what history recognizes as the settlers. These dark shadows my aunt spoke of, seemed to possess people, like they had her.
I didn't want to creep out my fellow passengers, so I kept my qualms to myself. The lush greens outside started to show the grey rocks of the bluffs and the dips of the valleys. I could tell we were now nearing something quite different. I had to pop my ears a few times as the road dipped here and there. Jon was long asleep on my shoulder kinda drooling and snoring, I had to knock him a few times to get him to stop. Soon enough I found myself drifting off. A quick black encompassed me, and then we were pulling up. Jon was shaking me awake this time. As I opened my eyes, I could see the Lake not too far off. It glimmered in the evening sun. You could hear music playing on the beach afar, surf type guitars and a Hawaiian type song. The warmth of the sun glistened all about, you could taste the snow cones and malts adorning the hands of passerby's. In a way you could feel this energy, I would call it synergy now. It was warmth, it was communion, it was why a place like that existed; to be seen, felt, and lived. The remorseful and dark stories I heard seemed to be nonexistent, you couldn’t possibly see this as the same place. I changed into a pink polka-dot bikini and ran down to the beach with Jon, Amanda and Gerald followed not too far off. I felt the sand sift between my toes as Jon gave me a quick embrace. He gave me a nice big kiss, it was special though, something in me, like an electricity connected with him. I knew I wouldn’t forget it. We swam out pretty far, to the deep, and messed around far out of sight. We found Amanda and Gerald waiting on the beach as we swam back. They already set up a little beach site with an umbrella, some towels and a basket. They were cute like that, they always had themselves together and organized whilst Jon and I were half-naked in the lake.
I was soaking wet, so I asked Amanda for a towel. She handed me with a smile.
“How’s the water?” she asked.
“Cold in some spots, warm in others”, I said and smiled, wiping off my legs.
“Gerald and I were thinking about going in, but I don’t like the seaweed, it scares me. My grandma said she once saw a boy drowned to death from seaweed in Michigan. I feel like it can grab you”, she said.
I went and tickled her side,
“I can grab you”, I said and kind of laughed.
She smiled back and went back to Gerald.
She was kind of cute. If I was guy.......
I took a walk after fully drying off. Jon joined me. We held hands and talked about life, what schools we were planning on going to, if we wanted to stay together, you know, the whole 9 yards. The thing I couldn’t tell Jon was how I felt for Amanda and just girls in general. I was a girl, but I liked girls, even when I was younger. My parent’s always thought it was just that I was a Tom Boy, and I had trouble relating with the opposite sex but it wasn’t just that. Guys didn't interest me, yes they pleasured me, but at the end of the day, they just end, you know. It’s the same thing on a different day, and I feel for routine but is it really your spouse’s problem when you can’t get it up because you think you can’t afford it. It wasn’t like that with a girl, and that’s what breaks all men. The realization that sometimes I don’t just look special for him, or hold his hand because I really care about him. To a woman who values herself, her projection is her hand in a game of cards and the interpretation is the wager.
My mother always said it was simple, it was because I didn’t want to be satisfied. That I attracted my own difficulty, but as I feel the warmth of Jon’s hand and the care of his eyes, I feel like a monster.
As we walked on, I could see a plaque not too far off. I headed towards it. Oddly enough the plaque had information about the first settlers on it. There was a picture of the family, and the all looked oddly alike. It might be that at that time people were generally expressionless in pictures (for whatever reason). The family was called The Roches (pronounced Roaches). I thought of what these people would of looked like to the Indians. Their hotel burning bright where their brethren had just fallen. Somehow the night never seeping into the corners of their life’s. Maybe there was more of a reason behind their expressionless life than it seemed. Maybe the lack of expression was still a play on our time. You never really understand it until you think about it. How did they truly live, and if they did exist, their existence is truly alien to what we would label modern. You could see how many of these settlers inspired visions of the cosmos to natives and why that is seldom talked about in history is a very good question to me.
We walked back to beach. Gerald and Amanda were in the water now. We cozied up at the beach site and made a bit to eat. The day carried on at a calm pace. I watched the waves crash, Jon held me and for once I could feel a sense of silence.
After a few hours, we packed the beach stuff up and got headed to the campsite. Gerald had a giant Black and White tent he brought, it took all of us to set it up, and it was well dark by the time we finally did. It had room for all of us, but I’m an insomniac without being caught in a tent so sleep was not in sight for me. I tried to sleep by Jon for some time, he hit the snooze hard and was already snoring away. The heat of the dry air began to get to me, and I just started getting itchy, and generally uncomfortable. It didn’t seem to phase any of them. I decided to go through Jon’s bag in search of these pot brownies we made, I found them and ate one. It was pretty good so I decided to eat Jon’s share as well. I realized at that moment, that the lake, and the bluffs were pretty accessible. Earlier that day I had spotted the trail to the bluffs so I decided to use my insomnia to something beneficial. I grabbed a flashlight from Jon’s bag and continued though the side trails. It was dark, like real dark, you couldn’t see your hand if you put it right in front of you. I could see the moonlight glistening my long brunette hair. I thought of myself like a siren of a night. No swimming for me tonight though. My thoughts were further meshing with the strong Brownie I had just eaten, and I even forgot how I got there or why I was there. I just felt this pull, moving me towards the bluff trails, almost like a gravity. Then there was a bright, bright light. Stopped me right in my tracks.
“Ma’am you’re going to have to turn around. You seem to be lost”.
A man almost double my size stood with two partners, guns at waist.
One man held a bright light to my eyes.
I could still make out that they were uniformed though. Military personnel in particular.
“I’m sorry I just wandered from the camp site, I’m lost, I’m not from around here, do you know where camp site F is?”, I said. I didn’t really know our camp site name but I figured it sounded logical.
They pointed me back the way I came, and said that the way was right up the only lighted road near the concessions Chateau.
I walked back, and they followed me most of the way.
Finally around the Chateau they cautiously broke from my trail, but still seemed to have an eye on me.
My eyes grew accustomed to the dark of the night, and I no longer needed the flashlight. I went back down towards the beach, crouching all along the beach wall, once I knew they were distracted I continued back up the bluff trail they were no longer blocking.
The moonlight seemed to light my way up the old rock stairs. I could hear a voice in the back of my head, telling me where to step and what to avoid, I usually ignored this subconscious banter but this once it guided me. Even though no footsteps followed me, I still had a feeling of being watched. I constantly stopped and would check the area, but I couldn’t find what I was feeling. I could feel the air thinning and even warming as I climbed higher. The forest seemed to be welcoming me. The air was lush, the path was clear and something was calling me. I didn’t want to turn around. If I could I wish that trail would continue forever. Until it does.
I reached an area that was far above the tree-line, you could make out the lake below. The chateau looked like a little model house from above, the lights of the MP jeeps below, still scouting the perimeter for god knows what. It was kinda of empty, lonely, and beautiful in a way. That was until I turned around. What appeared to be a tree’s shadow, creaked and grew towards me. Out of a dark mist came an Indian in full war garb. His face was painted like the black of the night. He cried out at me in a strange language and charged. I tried to stop him, and screamed. He pushed me off the cliff behind me with a power I had never felt in my life. I flew off the edge, flailing and screaming. I could see him looking down from above, his eyes rolling outwards to a pure White. I felt my body slam, and my consciousness go completely weightless.
I woke up in the tent, but I was the only one there. My friends had all left me it seemed. I unzipped the tent’s flaps to see all the other tents gone. Our tent was the only one standing. There was an odd fog about, and it was chilly, much colder than the night before. I could hear an odd orchestral music playing from the Chateau. I decided to head towards it, as I got closer, it grew quieter. When I was right next to the Chateau. The music seemed to cease, and all I could see was darkness. The usually open doors were barred closed. I continued on down the trail, and I could swear not only music began to emit but a faint light. I headed back and there was nothing again. It was honestly very beautiful music, and it seemed to echo throughout the park, singing with the wood of the trees. I walked the lake for most of the night, until you could see the sun rising on the lake water and hear the fish jumping to the warmth. With every pass the lights in the Chateau would glow and dim with it’s phantom orchestra appearing and disappearing just as fast. I didn’t seem to be phased by the exercise, like I could keep going forever. I don’t know if I felt lost or found, or both. I was in a state of loss. I could see that indians eyes rolling outwards, his mouth opening and splitting, a black demon coming out from inside. And a funny voice, that sounded like my crazy great aunt said quite audibly “That ain’t no Indian, girl”.
And then I saw a shadow walking right down the beach towards me. When it got closer, I made it’s attributes out better, I seemed to be glowing at it like a bright light, and it was me. The thing looked at me in a disgusted manner and walked off in a fast speed. Constantly look back at me like I was going to attack or something. A loud voice then filled my head.
“That is the last you will ever see of yourself. From this day forward what you become is a shadow of that”.
It was odd but I felt it. When that thing looked at me, it was more me than me. I really felt as if it took my face right from me, or maybe I never wanted to be myself. Or I was abducted. That must be it, and my friends are still looking. I know them come knocking, I know they’ll be calling my name, I know it, I just know it.
That was when I looked at the Lake’s water and I could see Jon, he was crying. Gerald was assuring him that I had just left, because I was fed up with them, he said he could tell I was going to leave the whole time, I couldn’t handle the whole trip from the car ride and on. Amanda was looking around the campsite for any traces of me. My parents I could see as well, they thought I ran away from home. I left without telling them admittedly, in anger. The vision continued on to clocks spinning and breaking, and me circling the lake, a color for every spent, a craziness in the multitude of patterns. At that moment I heard my crazy great Aunt’s voice in my head loud and clear,
“find the trail”, it said.
I found myself heading towards a pile of rocks I had passed at least ten times on the North side. It was an odd formation because in the dark it looked like a Devil’s face. But this time it seemed to have completely disappeared. It revealed a new trail which climbed up the North bluff, a place said to be completely untouched and unknown to most people. The reason being, by what I read in Jon’s book was a local Rock Quarry that relocated much of their mineral deposits, covering a burial ground of ancient indians. As I went down the trail I could hear thousands of voices coming from the North Bluffs. I could make out people I new even, seemingly trapped here. As I could feel the energy of the area grow, the sky grew a deep purple. I looked down at the lake and it now looked blood red. I could see thousands of bodies moving in the water from afar. I tired to ignore it, but it didn’t seem to go away, and the voices were growing to a booming volume as I neared the burial site. A dark tunnel seemed to be emanating most of the noise, it wasn’t far ahead. I could tell this was the burial site my crazy great Aunt spoke of. I went into the tunnel and below I could see torches all lit around a mound in the ground. The room was about the size of a ware house and solid stone. As I entered the room, A gust blew hard, knocking me over, the dirt stirred from the burial grounds below, showing 7 skeletons 4 about normal sized and 3 that were easily 7 foot giants.
3 black shadows grew from the giant skeletons and approached me. I froze in my steps. I couldn’t speak or breathe or move. I was completely paralyzed. They looked into me and through me. I could feel them sifting through my memories like files. Then I heard them.
“Much of my family was like you. You are my family. We the true indians of this park, the leaders or chieftains never came from anyone. We were dropped from the stars, to make our own little stars of existence about this planet. The dark shadows of this lake killed us, and stole our skin. They painted us as savages to turn us into nothing, and to us this they was both the darkness and the new settlers. But what these new settlers did not realize is their actions much paralleled the darkness and and by trying to control it they would be overcome by it. This darkness has taken your skin. you are apart of this nonexistent burial ground. Should you find your last life by luck or chance, you will be rendered insane. There is no light without a shadow. We will render you free, if you will disappear just as we did. None of us, even the best can stay among these shadows for too long. The diseases are a cover-up for evil roots of capitalization. It all starts at how they routed us out. This place has taken many life’s and put them somewhere new we want to do that for you but if you choose to go back you will be stuck here forever”.
The torches dimmed a little. and they released me. I took a deep breath and looked back at the lake. I didn’t know what to say. I was not ready for decisions such as these. I turned around and went back to the lake I slipped my clothes off and jumped in, my naked body glistening in the moonlight. I swam from the shore to where I could no longer touch, and I decided to keep going. I dipped my head under the water and rose it up, to find darkness all around. I kicked my feet out, and no bottom was to be found. I kind of panicked, realizing that I had no clue where I was, I swam back as far as I could, and it only seemed to grow deeper. It started to rain, and it felt like the water’s temperature was dropping. I could feel my muscles cramping up and giving out. it wasn’t long before I stopped trying to swim and I sunk into the black
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GISHWHES Item #181 2017
2k word essay on how to get pregnant for the 10th time (but I wrote it as a story and cropped out the beginning filler for your reading pleasure)
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I've had a long, beautiful life with my children, but having them wasn't always easy or expected. I'd like to take a moment, if you'll sit right there, to tell you how I became the mother of so many rare and beautiful children, and perhaps understand how best to go about having my tenth. I'll begin with the conception of my third child. I was so much younger then, with just two little ones at home.
Alright, so I was walking to the office and it had been a long hot week so I'm thinking the only thing I need to cheer me up is a nice cold coffee. I dip into my favorite coffee shop, ILU Java, and who do I see behind the counter but the cutest barista in a polka dot tie and pinstripe suit. I'm thinking, this guy ought to be a TV star or something, not just a barista behind a counter. So anyway I go up and I say "Iced Chai Latte, medium." and he says "sorry, wot?" with this accent I can't place. I say, "Sorry, Iced Chai Latte, Grande, and I'll have a biscotti please, Bob" and he rings it up but I can see him frowning, when he politely tells me "Alright, but my name isn't Bob". So now I have to sigh, because of course I know that but it's a phrase from a British game show and his accent sounds like it's British adjacent but all I say is "I'm sorry, what is your name?"
By now he's grabbing the biscotti from the display and telling me my total, which is $6.27 "and I'm The Doctor" he adds. The door behind me dings. Well, I grab the cash from my purse and hand it right over. "What kind of barista are you with a name like that?" I ask, but he's not paying attention. Actually he looks a little pale as he focuses on the customer behind me. Only when I turn around it's this weird tin can with wheels for feet and two wrench arms. I gesture my money towards the barista again and without looking, he takes it. Right as our fingers touch, the tin can fires this purple laser beam at us! I don't remember much after that, but the tin can and the doctor man started fighting and then disappeared, can in a puff of smoke and man in a big blue box. Couple weeks later I've got a positive pregnancy test and a little one on the way! And all mommy wanted was a coffee. Well, that's how I got pregnant for the third time anyway, but it's not like that method is going to help me THIS time....
ALTHOUGH there was this one time... no, no, that couldn't work again. You know about my fifth pregnancy, right? What, you wanted to hear about the first two? Come on, we're lightyears past those. So I'd just had my fourth kid and I wasn't working at the office anymore, because I had to quit. Had a full time job at home with the tykes, you know? Didn't really get out much. It was a nice little suburban home we had then, a little crowded with the five of us, but we had a nice little garden out front. That's when he moved next door. He was tall, lean, he'd smile but only when someone wasn't looking, like one of those stoic types. Every day during naptime for my three youngest, and while Thing 1 was working on elementary school homework, I would go out and tend to our garden. Get the mail, trim some hedges... pretty low. Maybe glance over and see if my neighbor was out mowing the lawn or something. Well, he often was outside, doing something, every day, about the same time as I, so I'd throw a friendly "hey neighbor" over the now very short hedge between our houses, and he'd throw back a "it is acceptable weather we are having."
It was a little dry for fall but I'd let it slide. All I got about his name was part of it sounded like Schon, which is German for "pretty" and man was he. Well, about a month this went on, me going out and watering the garden, him sitting on his porch reading a newspaper or trimming his black hair. And there was this one flower Thing 2 had found at the start of the school year, an unidentified flower, pink, a stem that grew thick as I tended to it. I thought it was a bit ugly, but anything to appease the gremlins. I mean, my darling children.
Well, turns out it was at the end of the flower's lifecycle, and at the end of that month, it went to seed. Spreading pollen absolutely everywhere!
Why, when my neighbor and I breathed it in, we couldn't keep our hands off each other! But then, we'd already had eyes for each other for weeks. Let's be honest.
So it wasn't too surprising when I was ready to announce that Thing 5 would be beaming down to earth within a few months. I didn't see my neighbor again after that, but he did leave me and my brood enough currency to buy a larger estate back out in the country. When I read the mail piling up on his front porch it was addressed to "S'chn T'gai". A strange name befitting a stranger man.
But I don't see how that's going to happen again, the flower and everything that hinted at its existence were gone without a trace by the time I figured to go take a sampling of it to study.... Didn't I mention I'm a Botanist? No matter, a story for another time.
Now, my sixth pregnancy would give you nightmares. I was working on this new, top secret assignment in an underground lab. There was this super creepy scorpion spider like creature... worst cesarean birth ever, wound up. Still, my 6th baby is a beautiful, misunderstood little girl. I don't really tell that story.
I do, however, think about my eighth pregnancy a lot. By the point in time where I was even considering an eighth addition to my (thankfully) spacial estate in the country. What do you mean “gee don't tell me, you live in Iowa?” Of course we live in Iowa. What's wrong with that? Why are you laughing? Well when you're done being rude I'll tell you all about the best way to get pregnant for the eighth time. Well, perhaps the most fun way in any case. It was on a night I'll never forget... rainy, I'd just gone on a milk run when my car died down a narrow lane I'd never taken before. It was frustrating, to be sure, but even more so when I looked at my phone to see it had no service! That just wouldn't do, I had to get word to the babysitter to put Timmy, Tammy, Thomasina, and Terry down for bed. Martha, Matt, and Mo could handle themselves. Besides the point that Tammy would probably eat the babysitter in their anxiety for mama's absence and leave the eldest Things in charge anyway.... but who could blame poor Tammy, right? Precious dear.
So I'm stranded down this lane with no signal when what do I see in the distance but a light! A light over at what seems to be an old Victorian looking building. Or a castle. Kind of a Frankenstein place, really. I march my way over, the door swings open, and then it's all music and dancing! And the host, my, what a stud. Of course I was happy to follow him upstairs, he told me he was working on something but it wasn't ready, so I'd have to do to test this new invention of his. Wouldn't you know it, it was this tank filled with sort of a colored chemical concoction. To me it really just felt like floating in a sensory deprivation or salt tank. When I got out I thanked him, but I had to get back to my kids, really. He gave me a really weird look and glanced at my stomach then, but he let me go. Would you be surprised if I said I tested positive not nine days later?
This all takes me back to my first bundle of joy, actually. Mo was another special case. I was young yet, unwed and the single child of a small rural family. I always thought I was meant for something real good in the grand scheme of things. I certainly wanted a child, and some folks around those parts did start as young as I was. Ma was against it, but da wanted another little farmhand. In the meantime, I worked at the corner store. Sometimes the only thing running to get me there was the tractor. I'd ride that thing up and down going to my shifts, just the same every day without a problem. Well one day I was on my way home and the lights of dusk were twinkling over the fields. I didn't think anything of it until I noticed a circle of them, spanning out around me. Kind of odd, but not as odd as the disc in the sky above me! A panel opened up and down came a beam of white light. When I opened my eyes, I was inside a white medical laboratory, and it was filled with these little green men. They had big black eyes and four digit hands, kind of frog looking. One comes up behind me and injects me with something. All I remember is falling, then waking up on my back in the field with stitches across my midsection. I don't think my parents ever believed my story, but they were pleased enough with the little bundle of joy that followed it. We're not sure yet what Mo is, but who cares? They're my child, and they're happy, and I love them.
It's easier to love them than baby the fourth. Terry was a special sort. I was actually asked for him, as it turns out. Though you'll never guess how! Thing 1 and 2 and Martha were all sleeping in my parent's old room, their makeshift little bedroom, when I heard this beautiful music coming from outside. Some air rustling about like a storm's picking up, and a warm glow filtering in through the drapes. Obviously I went outside to check immediately, what if it was some supernatural force? They might go after the cows and then where would I be! But there, just a stone's throw from the house's old front step, stood four beautiful angels. They reached out to me, and complimented my skills as such an eclectic mother. I preened, and then humbly demanded what they wanted. “A child” they said. “A Nephilim” I replied. They nodded, and offered me this vial filled with an essence. A Nephilim could destroy the world, I thought. Then I shrugged and drank it anyway.
Which brings me to now. I have landed myself in an area 52 facility complete with alien child daycare. It turns out I'm a hazard for the planet, like some sort of alien-attracting Barbarella. So I guess in retaliation, I fell in love with my caseworker. This nice man going by Jay. Totally human and totally smitten with me back. We get married a couple days ago, and here I am hoping to start our family with lucky number 10, totally normal right?. You know, now that I'm thinking about it... I believe I've concluded that the best way to get pregnant again would be if we would just go see a physician.
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