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rogersideup · 2 days

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｡°✩ ♊︎ The Gemini♊︎ ✩ °｡

Chapter 10

Star Crossed Lover

Series Masterlist

Previous Part: True Romantic Next Part: Promotion

Word Count: 10,607 (I am SO sorry lol)

Warnings: My blog is 18+ only. All minors or blogs without an age in bio will be blocked. Minors DNI. TRIGGER WARNING: Mentions of violence, blood, and injury. Allusions and discussion of suicide attempts. Please proceed with caution and and good judgment for your own personal mental health 💞

The drive to your team welcoming at the winery made 45 minutes of highway feel simultaneously far too long yet excruciatingly short.

After what happened in the corridor, you really didn't have much to say. The only words really spoken between you and Steve was you thanking him for getting the car door for you, then him insisting that you played your music.

After a few minutes on the road, Steve stole a few quick glances at you to try and gauge how you were really feeling, but your head was leaned all the way back against the headrest, and your eyes were always either closed or staring absentmindedly on the scenery around you.

He took no offense, in fact, he was glad that you were calm at the very least. Deep down he knew you were always feeling at least a little worse- if not a lot worse than you expressed to anyone. But like always, there was a time and place to address issues. Pulling into a parking spot at the winery and putting his car into park was not the time, nor the place.

Taking a quick peek through his rearview mirror, he could see a few special guests had already arrived, and he could only hope it would help ease the distress you never deserved to have inflicted on you.

Steve turned to you with an empathetic grin tugging at the corners of his lips. "Last chance to run away?"

You turned your head to look at him with a lazy smile, and an unexpected giggle. "I can't run in these shoes."

"If it gets too overwhelming, you know I'll be here. Just tell me, I'll sneak you away for a bit of fresh air." He reminded you.

"You're making me feel like I'm about to be eaten alive" You raised your eyebrow.

Steve shook his head. "No, you're not. I've been on this team for so many years I stopped counting and even I still get overwhelmed by all of them sometimes. Things like this can be a lot even on a perfectly good day."

"I'm guessing I'll relax after a glass of wine or two" You reassured him and yourself. "It'll be like nothing ever happened, nobody even has to know."

That sent red flags raising high in Steve's head. Now he knew for sure you were in worse shape than you were letting on.

"Bug," Steve shot you a serious glare. "You can be sad, it's okay to be sad."

"I'll be sad later." You surrendered. "Right now I'm so happy and honored to be part of such a welcoming and supportive team. We're all going to have a wonderful night, and everything is going to be fine."

"Promise me right now that after this is over you'll cut the bullshit and stop telling me you're fine." Steve held out his pinky to you. All you did was narrow your eyes at him, you knew he could read you like a book far below his intelligence level, and it was equal parts endearing and frustrating. "We both know that's a lie, and we both know there's no reason for you to have to go through any of this alone anymore. We both know this is the beginning of the end of all of your suffering, and should it get worse before it gets better, you have a whole team of people who want to help you and be there for you."

"Fine." With an internal defeat, you wrapped your pinky around his. "I'll be sad later, but only if you get me a glass of wine while I socialize so I don't seem like a bitch for booking it to the bar."

"Great" Steve smiled, shaking your intertwined pinky fingers, locking in the deal. "Pleasure doing business with you."

"This is the worst deal ever." You shook your head with a smile on your face while reaching for the car door handle.

An immediate gasp full of personal offense left Steve faster than you anticipated, and you got ready for the fight you two had nearly every time you got into a car together. "Do not reach for that car door ma'am."

"Twinkles, I have two fully functioning arms and legs. I can open my own car door." You made the same argument you've made a million times before.

"Just because you can, doesn't mean you should." Steve shook his head at you, his face full of disappointment. "Stay right there before I put the child safety lock on the passenger side of the door."

"Logistically, it'll take more time for you to get out, walk around, open my door, wait for me to get out, then close my door than if I were to just get out on my own." You laughed.

“Yeah well, logistically, this reoccurring argument takes a lot of time as well yet you always seem to want to spark it." Steve spoke as he got out of the car, his door closing behind him. Very quickly making his way to you, he opened your door and offered you his arm to help you out. "See, didn't take that long. Look, this is an unpaved parking lot and you're wearing a pretty high heel which means you could've tripped and fallen and broken an ankle, and it would've been all my fault."

"How could you possibly sleep at night?!" You agreed sarcastically as you got out of the car, and he closed the door behind you.

"I never do." Steve noted. "This is why I have insomnia."

"Too many women and too many unpaved parking lots in this world." You agreed, walking with him towards the entrance. "We really need to contact someone about this."

It didn't take long to enter the beautiful outdoor space that was far too big to be reserved just for the team. You immediately felt like you were the main character of a hallmark movie, strings of twinkling lights shined above your head, the grounds were well maintained, full of plants, tables, and even a dreamy gazebo that was also illuminated by strings of lights.

There were candles lit along pathways and atop the standing tables, booths open that served food, and no less than 20 different wine options, and a whole bunch of friendly faces that all started clapping and cheering when you walked in.

Definitely not expecting that much immediate attention, your cheeks widened into a smile and deepened in color before your hands moved up to hide your face. It only took a few moments before you were brave enough to peak through your fingers to recognize faces you didn't quite expect to be there.

All you expected were the avengers that lived in the compound or near by, but to see faces like Thor, Clint, and even that Spider-Kid who definitely was not 21 and was out passed his bedtime was a pleasant surprise.

Another pleasant surprise was the sweet faces of your mom and dad, sister and brother in law, and a handful of your friends from back home.

Your hands dropped from your face and showed off your full toothy smile and pink cheeks that Steve loved so much it made his heart skip a beat.

It nearly dropped out of his chest and deep into his stomach when you turned to him. "Did you invite them?"

"Of course I did" Steve nodded with a cheeky smile. "I wanted you to feel more comfortable, and you deserve to be celebrated by your family too, not just ours."

Much like earlier in the day when he gave you the suit, your arms flew around him fast and tight. It was shorter this time due to the audience, but Steve still loved it nonetheless. "Thank you so much, you're so sweet."

"You're very welcome" Steve smiled. "I'll go get us some wine like I promised, but I do feel like I need to say hello to your family first considering I've been texting them to arrange this. But I'll be quick!"

"I have so many questions" You raised your eyebrow at him.

"Save them for later!" Steve told you while walking straight towards your parents.

With full trust that nothing chaotic would happen in that interaction, you scanned faces once more and realized Bucky and Nat were missing. You knew why, but it made your happy mood deflate again until Thor was the first of the bunch to walk up and introduce himself.

You made your way through Bruce, Carol, and even said hi to Maria Hill regardless of the fact that you worked with her many times before.

Steve did make it to you with a glass of wine in each of his hands between your interactions with people. "Here you go, Bugs. Not quite sure what this wine is but I told the nice girl at the bar you liked white wine so she poured you her favorite."

"You're the best." Your cheers your glass against his.

"Ugh, I know right?" He agreed sarcastically, drinking down a grin with a sip of red.

Your quick interaction with Steve made your family approach you to celebrate, but he definitely wanted you to have your time alone with them so he slipped away just as fast as he came.

Lots of hugs, lots of chatting, then lots of them pushing you away to go hang out with the Avengers.

Somewhere between Peter Parker and more time with Sam, a quick scan of the crowd had you realizing that now the Avengers were co-mingling with your family and friends. Oh, and Bucky and Natasha finally got there 45 minutes into the actual event.

Lost in conversation with Scott Lang about the most recent episode of that one sitcom he so happened to bring up, a pair of forearms wrapped around you from behind.

You pretty much expected it to be anybody but Natasha, but you were pleasantly surprised that she was already so comfortable with you. "Sorry we're late, but Rogers' mess is cleaned up and you'll never see it again. Also, you look hot in that dress."

There was no chance to thank her or apologize for the mess as she quickly galavanted off into the crowd.

Scott was pulled away from you about 10 minutes later, and your glass became empty of wine. Feeling mildly confident at this point that you had at least introduced yourself and greeted everyone there, you felt comfortable enough to go get a refill on your own.

Another heavy pour and you were back out. Conversation flowed a lot easier than expected between the groups you found yourself in. There was always something to talk about, laughter was a common occurrence, but somehow the mess in the corridor kept seeping into your mind no matter how hard you tried to push it down.

Eventually Bucky found his way to you, and somehow the comfort of one of your best friends helped quiet down all of the unnecessary noise in your brain.

In true Bucky fashion, he approached with plenty of food in hand. Setting a full wood fire pizza on the table, he pushed the whole tray towards you.

"You haven't been eating enough for someone at an event with free food" He noted.

"Hello to you too" You grinned, taking down another big gulp of wine.

"Steve told me you were worried about me." Bucky's face softened.

"I'm always worried about you, that's what friends are for." You agreed with Steve's statement.

"You know what that agent said about me tonight is nothing but water off a ducks back." He reassured you. "But what he said about you is what bothered me. That is what I take personally, and that's what I can't let anyone get away with."

You sighed. "What did you do, Buck?"

"Nat fired him, we both got him on some gnarly lists to ensure he's going to have a hard time finding another job." He explained. "I think Steve did enough damage that the dumbass will probably never reproduce, which is probably a blessing to the next generation. We didn't help him up though, he can figure that out himself."

"Don't you think that's a bit harsh?"

"If it was up to me. I wouldn't have left it at just his balls, but I digress" Bucky shrugged. "I'm really happy you're back, Buggy. I've been smiling all day knowing you're here."

"Well for what's it's worth, I'm sorry people have been saying rude things about you because of me, and I'm happy to be here to hopefully get back on the right foot. I missed you and Steve a lot these past couple of months."

"It's not your fault, so I'm not accepting that apology." Bucky denied. "But I will accept a hug because I missed you too."

"Tough crowd." You grinned before wrapping your arms around him and leaving them there for a while.

Then, he started whispering in your ear. "This was a trap I just wanted to gossip in peace"

You let out an uncontrollable laugh, starting to feel the effects the wine had on you. "What's up? What's the gossip?" You tried to whisper back but it was a little hard to get the words quietly past your smile.

"Has Steve kissed you yet?" Bucky asked in a dramatic whisper.

“No, I don't think he ever will." You denied. "But I just got back last night, give him some grace."

"I don't think he will either. He's really scared of you." He agreed with you. "Do you need me to yell at him for that? Or I can just kind've shove your faces together when I find the opportunity?"

He pulled another laugh from you. "No, it's okay. He's scared, he needs to go at his own pace."

"Have you admitted to yourself that you like him yet?"

"Unfortunately you knew that before I did, but yes, and I told him that too."

"Good, good." Bucky started to pull away from the hug, but your wrapped your arms tighter around him.

"Tell me about you and Nat now" You trapped him.

"Well I'm not a scaredy cat like Steve is so... Girlfriend."

You gasped with a smile and pulled back to observe his face. But it was obvious he wasn't lying to you, so you lit up once more. "I'm so happy for you!"

Raising your hand up for a high five, Bucky hit his metal palm against your hand.

From across the winery and under the gazebo, Steve watched this whole interaction between you and Bucky. He was pleasantly surprised when jealousy never rushed through his veins watching the two of you hug.

Thats when Steve realized how secure he felt with you now. He understood now more than ever that you and Bucky were purely platonic, and it was evident in the way you two looked at and touched each other. In fact, he even felt a sense of warmth and happiness watching you two have a secretive conversation that wasn't so slick. Maybe it would've been a little more discreet had you been a bit more sober, but he found it endearing nonetheless. He found himself feeling hopeful that soon enough the three of you really could smooth over the damage and go back to hanging out together, a notion that once felt impossible.

He was even happier when he saw the both of you take a slice of pizza, cheers, then eat together.

After that, he stopped watching. He was so content knowing that Bucky was keeping an eye on you. Maybe that's where he overestimated his false sense of security, because along with the pizza, Bucky brought you another glass of wine which only meant you were feeling sillier and more socially confident by the second.

At some point Steve fell deep into conversation with your dad, they were getting along so well, in fact, he hadn't even noticed that he spent about a whole hour and a half alone under the fairy light illuminated gazebo with him. They also didn't notice that you were getting along with the team so well it's like you were always part of the little family to begin with.

He didn't catch you and your sister flipping each other off from across the venue as often as you could, he didn't see the way you and Peter made a secret handshake, or even when you exchanged phone numbers with Bruce. He missed Sam making you laugh so hard you nearly peed your pants, then you, Nat, and Wanda disappearing to the bathroom for a solid ten minutes then coming back with your lipstick magically perfect again.

He also missed your fourth glass of wine.

But that was pretty obvious when you walked out of the bathroom and into the social event, scanning the intimate crowd to try and spot anyone to engage in conversation.

Thats when you noticed your mom batting her eyelashes and giggling in a one on one conversation with Tony, while your dad was batting his eyelashes and giggling under the gazebo with Steve.

A bit wobbly on your feet, you walked over to them and held onto the wooden entrance as you stepped up. Both of their attention was drawn to you from their spot on a bench.

You squinted your eyes at your dad. "Hello, Father."

"Daughter" He raised an eyebrow at you.

Steve didn't know where this interaction was about to go, so he observed carefully.

"Steve, is this strange man bothering you?" You asked him.

Steve laughed as your dad reached over to you and flicked the side of your head, you remained unfazed. "Not in the slightest."

"She's drunk" Your dad told Steve while covering your ears.

"I'm not drunk, I'm silly and perhaps a bit goofy, but I am not drunk." You grabbed your dad's wrists and pulled his hands off your ears. "My sobriety should be the least of your concerns at the moment."

"Why is that?" Your dad asked.

"Tony Stark is flirting with your wife." You pointed to your mom and Tony.

Steve followed your pointed finger and saw that you were actually right, and that made him laugh. "That's really concerning."

Your dad sighed. "So what? I have to fight Iron Man now? You chose to be a superhero and now I have to fight Iron Man for your own Mother?"

"Get used to it." You stuck your tongue out at him.

He stuck his tongue out right back at you before turning to Steve. "Please excuse me, I need to rescue my wife."

"By all means" Steve agreed.

When your dad walked off and you were alone with Steve, you sat down right next to him and pulled his arm around your shoulders before you closed your eyes and rested your head on him.

You didn't see his smile as he pulled you as close as he could and rubbed the top of your arm. "How are you doing?"

"Cold, tired, feet hurt." You mumbled. "Drunk"

"I thought you said you weren't drunk?" Steve quipped happily.

“Well, you're not my dad so you get to know the truth." You snuggled into him. "More truth, you smell really nice, and I just need to sit here for a little while."

A giggle escaped Steve from your confessions. "Are you having fun?"

"More fun than I thought" You nodded. "I'm so warm and fuzzy inside. It's been so long since I've felt happy like this."

That wiped the smile clean off of Steve's face. "I'm so happy that you're happy. It'll keep getting better, I'll make sure of it."

"I wish it could just be like this all the time." The feelings you never talk about spilling out of your mouth. "Life could be so good, and I really love it sometimes. I just don't know how to not take what other people do to me personally. You and Bucky are so good at that."

"You're good at everything you do, and life is about to get so much better for you, sweet girl. I promise."

"I'm trying really hard to believe you." You smiled. "I probably sound sad, but I'm happy right now. 'M always happy when I'm with you."

"You can stay with me however long you want, I'm happy with you too." He squeezed your shoulder.

"How did you guys plan such an elaborate event when nobody even knew if I would agree to be an avenger or if I would even be back at the compound today?" You asked.

"We used magic and our intuition" He said with a smile.

"You are so magical" Your alcohol influenced mind marveled. "And who in my family have you been communicating with because that's so magical"

"Your sister and your mom" Steve giggled at your question. "Your family is very nice and really fun to be around."

"Did my dad tell you embarrassing stories about me?"

"Surprisingly, no he didn't."

"Good, good. Let's keep it that way."

Closing your eyes, you let the wine and Steve's body heat relax all your muscles and wash the tension away. Unsure of how long you had actually been there, there was a point in which you could feel Steve shift to look at an approaching person.

An uncontrollable laugh escaped your intoxicated mind as whoever Steve was looking at sat on the other side of you and snuggled into your body the same way you were snuggled up to Steve, but for some reason you still didn't want to open your eyes.

"Wow, this is lovely" The voice said. It sounded like Sam, but you couldn't be too sure.

"Hey, I want in on this too" Sounded loudly from far away. Footsteps came running, and Maria plopped onto Sam's lap sideways. She kicked her legs over your and Steve's laps.

Slowly but surely, more Avengers, family and friends ended up under the gazebo with you and Steve. The cuddle pile grew with Scott and Nat, and lasted longer than it probably should've.

You were fed enough food by pretty much everyone while you all drunkenly told stories and laughed so hard that your stomach hurt that you eventually sobered up.

Once you were sober again, you realized just how fast time had flown by and were sad to hug your parents goodbye. You're pretty sure your mom hugged and your dad fist-bumped nearly every single person at the event, but that was neither here nor there.

Eventually everyone said goodbye, and by the time you got back into Steve's car it was already almost midnight. And by the time you got home and into Steve's bed, all of your energy was more than depleted. Social battery was in the negative, but you felt like you had been plugged into a high speed charger when he got under the covers next to you.

"How are you feeling?" That seemed to be everyone's favorite question to ask you.

"I kind've feel like you right now" With your eyes closed, your laid on your back with one arm above your head and the other resting over your hoodie on top of your belly.

Steve giggled "what is that supposed to mean?"

"I feel like I'm going to throw up."

"Any particular reason why?"

"I ate too much, drank too much wine. I'm bloated but happy so it's a small price to pay." You explained.

"Well if you're going to throw up, aim in that direction" Steve smiled and pointed in the opposite direction of himself. "Are you still drunk? Do you need some water?"

"No I'm not, I'm okay" Your smile barely ghosted your lips. "Just need some sleep."

Steve reached over and pulled some blankets over your frame before poking your cheek. "Remember what you promised me earlier?"

Your eyes opened to look at him. "I feel better, really. I do."

Steve sighed. "You don't even want to talk about it?"

"What is there to say?" You questioned. "All the same shit, different day. There's nothing I can do about that anymore."

"When this all first started, you were getting sent to my office nearly every day for fighting back, but tonight you kind've froze up. Why?"

"I wasn't expecting anyone to do that to me when I was with you." You answered. "But it's done now, it's fine."

"We both know it's not done" Steve's face softened. "And avoiding it doesn't make it go away."

"Would you like me to rewind time and kick him in the balls instead?"

"No, I just want you to know you can talk to me." Steve emphasized.

"I'm pissed off." You admitted. "I'm always in a state of being angry that this is the environment that I have to learn to thrive in every day, but I've also reached a state of emotional exhaustion that makes me feel like I have no room left to be even more angry than I already am. I've hit max capacity, so I'm choosing to stay as calm as I can because out of all the kicks and punches I've thrown, none of them have worked before. I have no reason to believe it'll work now."

“It's not fair." Steve huffed like kid.

"It never has been." You agreed with a shrug. "But you don't need to hold onto that anger for me. I'm trying to let go of it and move on."

"I'll let go of my anger in the form of making change." Steve told you, now feeling brave enough to pull you close to him.

You snuggled up close, your head on his bicep and your arm holding him gently. "I'm an avenger now. That's all the change I know how to make at the moment."

"I'm so proud of you" he practically whispered. "But I've never met anyone like you before."

"You really need to work on providing context before sentences that might hurt my feelings"

Steve chuckled at your bluntness. "You're telling me that you're happy, but you're also telling me that you're sad. Both of those statements feel genuine, so I don't really know where your mind is."

"Well then imagine how complex and confusing it is to be me" You emphasized. "Never in my whole life have I felt more alone while also feeling more loved than ever. I'm happy and sad, I just accomplished something most people never will by becoming an avenger yet I've also never felt more like a loser. This is the first time I've ever been relentlessly bullied but it's also the first time I've ever been a superhero so I guess the juxtaposition of my emotions is just turning my brain into scrambled eggs."

"Have you tried compartmentalization?" Steve offered with a grain of salt.

"I tried that once, I think I created too many emotional categories and got overwhelmed." You smiled. "But I'm a Gemini, so these complexities have been written in the stars for me since the moment I was brought onto the earth. I think I was born for the very purpose of the universe testing to see if overwhelming contradictory emotions could physically kill a human being."

"One of my greater purposes in life is to protect people against the things that could kill them, so you're in good hands right now." Steve slowly rubbed your back. "Overwhelm will not be your cause of death. Actually, nothing will be. I'm trying to convince Banner to make clones of us to be kept in cryofreeze that way when we die of old age, new versions of us can just be thawed out so we can be best friends forever."

"Spoken like a true cancer" You laughed, patting his chest. "Did I uphold my end of the promise?"

"We can call it even, but I'll always be concerned"

"Even Stevens!" You sleepily enthused.

"Are you rhyming or was that a reference to something?" You could hear his amusement.

"Both, you're a little too old to understand that one."

"That's really rude" Steve faked offense.

"Thanks for coming to my rescue, Twinkles. I know you think you didn't do much, but it means a lot to me when I know I have someone on my team."

"I'll always be on your team, you've always been worth the fight." Steve reminded you.

Those words comforted you enough to ignore your very full stomach and fall into a deep sleep in the hold of your favorite soldier's big protective arms. Unfortunately the universe loved to hate you, because you only got your share of the superhero until about 4am when his phone started ringing effectively waking both of you up.

A few curse words slipped out of his mouth in complaint before he reached for his phone and answered it. You didn't pay much attention to the phone call itself, but you did find it within your lack of consciousness to move nearly your entire body onto his in attempt to keep him forever. Snuggling into him belly to belly, his hand found the back of your head and played with your hair as you slipped in and out of sleep.

By the time the phone call ended, you had effectively caged him between the mattress and your body. Realizing what you had done, Steve's cheeks burned as he let out a sigh.

"You can't go." You sleepily mumbled.

"You and I both know I don't really have any say in that." Steve reminded you apologetically.

"Says who? We all have free will."

"Unfortunately, the president of the United States. Apparently he requested to meet me for an urgent conversation about something that's happening somewhere." Steve explained.

"Damnit." You yawned. "I think the president has me beat in importance."

"I think the two of you are pretty equal in importance." Steve pondered. "The only difference is that people might die if I don't get out of bed."

"My soul will die if you get up, but it's fine, I understand." You joked dramatically.

"You're making it very hard for me" Steve complained, wrapping his arms around your back and squeezing you gently.

"If you're hard that's all the more reason to stay in bed." You joked, knowing damn well Steve wouldn't take a naughty joke like that very well.

And you were right, because the gasp that left his mouth was immediate and visceral. You didn't need to look at his face to know his cheeks were flushed pink and red hot. Your laugh was also pretty immediate and visceral as he used his body to flip you over onto the bed and propped himself up on his arm to lean over you. Pointing a finger at you like a dog, he had one word to say. "Bad!"

You laughed even harder as he shook his head at you. "I'm going to get up and get ready to meet the president, you stay here and think about what you just said."

Laying in bed alone, Steve eventually came to say goodbye to you. It was always sad to let each other go, but also an often occurrence. But this time he was hesitant to leave, of course you both knew why. Last night wouldn't be a one time event, but he encouraged you to stay close to Bucky, Nat and Sam as often as you could, and emphasized that there would be no timeline to his departure so he didn't know when he would be back. He also made it clear that should you need to defend yourself, you should do so with no hesitation.

Luckily, all was pretty smooth for a while. Your friendship with Nat bloomed faster than you'd ever expect it would, so for the first week Steve was gone the two of you were practically attached at the hip. Nat and Bucky spent a whole day helping you move from your old apartment up into the Avengers sector. Though it felt a bit pointless moving within the same building, the team felt better about keeping a protective eye on you when you weren't floors away from them. It was a nice change of pace to have a sense of community around you again.

The second week that Steve was gone, you tried to focus on building individual friendships with the team members outside of your little social circle. Your therapist also encouraged you to try and be brave enough to walk through the compound with a confident attitude so nobody would fuck with you, so you tried a few times on your own, a few times were nothing more than anxiety inducing, and a few times got you confronted with hostility which lead to 3 more agents getting fired by Natasha.

By the third week you finally got a phone call from Steve. It was nice to hear his voice and catch up and hear about what he had been up to for all this time, and it was especially nice to hear that he was wrapping up his work and he would be home soon. That same day you got to visit Jane and Luca over lunch at one of your favorite restaurants, then they helped you pick out a few new things for your new apartment.

Most kids acted as if a home store was cruel and unusual, but Luca was very opinionated about rugs and throw pillows. He even convinced you to get a new pair of sneakers at the clothing store he wanted to go to across the street from the compound.

Lots of therapy, lots of solo workouts, lots of team building, you were starting to feel mentally and physically stronger.

Strong enough to keep walking alone, and pushing forward no matter how hard it was.

When Steve landed on the runway after 3 whole weeks and a handful of days of being gone, he was so relieved to be back home. Without even making it off the jet he was already fantasizing about shaving the beard he unintentionally grew after forgetting his razor at home, a long shower and a long nap since it was only early in the afternoon and definitely not bedtime yet.

His fantasies continued as he stepped off the jet and into the building. Now he knew he wanted to see you before he knocked out for that nap he desperately needed. There would be some snacks at some point, and definitely no pants after the got out of the shower.

The sound of his boots on the sleek floor actually brought him joy knowing each step was one closer to you.

Like most fantasies, what he hoped and dreamed of was far from reality. Especially when a loud alarm sounded in the sector of the compound he was headed towards.

Stopping in his tracks and cringing at the sound, he waited for the code and location to be called out before springing into action. It could've been as simple as a knocked over vial in the lab, or complex as an invasion of an enemy. But when the code called out for aggressive physical conflict in the gym, Steve's heart sank and he started running as fast as he could.

He didn't want to believe it was you, but he couldn't be naive either. His racing heart and even faster legs carried him there faster than anyone else could. As he entered the doorway into the compound gym, he could hear the footsteps of a few sets of feet trailing behind him, but waiting for others arrival wouldn't slow him down.

Especially not when he entered the gym and it was completely empty besides two people, his heart sank even further when he recognized it was you, and the number on the back of the uniform of the other person was 212. Harvey.

No less than a billion racing thoughts came sped through Steve's mind, and none of the billion came together to form any good ideas. He swore all he saw was a blinding white and all he heard was his own heart beat in his ears as he sprinted through the equipment to get to where the altercation was happening.

The two of you looked like a cartoon before he went into fully protective mode. As he weaved through punching bags and stair climbers, he couldn't pick out where your body started and Harvey's ended. There might as well have been a big dust cloud around you, with puffs of air pluming out.

The consequences of putting himself in the middle of a fight wasn't even a thought in Steve's mind as he jumped over a treadmill and wrapped his arms around your waist from behind and tried to pull you backwards, far away from Harvey.

Unfortunately, you were a little too preoccupied trying to save your own life to notice the alarm was sounding or that anyone was coming to save you, let alone Steve who you didn't even know was home yet. Assuming it was another attacker, one of Harvey's buddies helping him take you down, you forcefully thrashed and kicked yourself out of the Steve's grip. Adrenaline clouded your judgement, flight was nowhere to be seen as fight took over your every thought, you turned around and swung your fist right at him to earn yourself more time to knock Harvey down. You know you made pretty harsh contact considering there was a shooting pain buzzing through your knuckles, but at this point there was pain jolting through nearly every part of your body, so this wasn't going to slow you down.

Still not realizing what you had done, you watched Natasha sprint into the room and full body tackle Harvey to the ground, followed by a few other commanding officers, Sam, and Bucky. Trusting their ability to deal with Harvey and not let him touch you again, you turned back around to deal with whoever else was.

Fist balled, ready for a second swing, you looked up at the targets face, and devastation immediately took over the whole of your emotions. Steve blocked your punch and caught your wrist mid swing.

"Hey hey hey, it's me. It's just me" Steve frantically tried to get you to stop.

"Oh my god" You whispered to yourself as you realized you punched Steve right on his cheekbone, hard enough a bruise was already forming.

He watched you come to the realization of what you had done, your wrist was shaking in his hand, even more so as he loosened his grip and gently placed your arm down to your side.

You looked battered and bruised, but when he looked back at Harvey, it was clear that you had won this fight.

Looking at your wide eyes, he could tell you were in shock, and coming down from the copious amount of adrenaline coursing through your veins. He knew all too well what that felt like. Guilt, shame, the full effects of pain from the injuries sustained, the tremors and how weak your knees and thighs would get. He's been in your position far too many times before, he knew it was the worst feeling in the world.

Especially when your cheek was oozing blood, your arms were scraped up and bruised. Steve could tell the fight started with an unfair advantage.

Then, tears started pooling in your eyes as you looked at Steve's face and you opened your mouth but no words would come out.

"It's okay." Steve told you, very slowly reaching out to put his hands on your shoulders trying to snap your brain out of fight mode. "You're okay."

A tear fell down your cheek and your eyebrows furrowed before you muttered a quiet. "I'm so sorry."

"You didn't know" Steve shook his head. "You were just trying to protect yourself. You're okay, buggy."

You looked over your shoulder and saw Harvey on the ground. His face was a lot bloodier than yours. With eyes swollen shut and his nose definitely not in its usual form, you felt like a monster.

A sob escaped your throat, and your shaky hand flew up to cover your mouth before your eyes squeezed shut. "What did I do?"

"Everything is going to be fine." Steve reminded you, pulling your attention back to him.

His bruised face only made your sobs escape faster and your heart pound even faster. "I'm so sorry, Steve, I-I didn't mean to. I didn't know it was you."

"I know you didn't, you didn't even know I was home." Steve reasoned with you. "It's okay, just take some deep breaths for me."

You shook your head, still panting from the physical exertion. "I can't."

"You can't?" He questioned.

"I have to go." You took a big step backwards, Steve's arms fell back to his sides.

More concern than Steve ever thought was humanly possible took over his mind. "Where do you need to go?"

"I don't know." You sobbed. "I just need to go. I'm sorry"

Another two scared steps backwards, then you bolted out of the gym. Steve started making strides towards you, fully prepared to follow you but Sam approached him and stuck his arm out.

"You have to let her go on her own." Hand flat to Steve's chest, he stopped him. "She needs time to calm down and come to terms with what just happened. Trust that if she needs something, she will call you."

Steve's shoulders deflated. He wanted to go help, convince you to see a medic and have an emergency meeting with your therapist, but he also knew Sam was probably right.

With a big deep breath, Steve assessed the state of the gym. Realizing one of the treadmills was still on and going, he reached over the machine to stop it. Then a few commands slipped through his mouth while trying to organize his own brain.

He needed the security camera footage of the incident, he needed the alarm to stop, he needed a lab clean up crew to get rid of all the blood on the gym floor, and he needed Harvey handcuffed to the hospital bed he was bound to end up in. He was too tired to do any of that on his own, but luckily others were eager to get this taken care of too.

Just as he was no longer needed, Bucky approached and squeezed his shoulder.

"What's that thing on your face?" Bucky's nose scrunched up.

"She got me on accid-"

"I'm not talking about the bruise. I didn't even know you were capable of growing a beard" Bucky commented.

Narrowing his eyes, Steve glared at Bucky. "I forgot my razor."

"Respectfully," Bucky stated looking him up and down. "You look like shit, Pal."

"Thanks, Buck." Steve sarcastically smiled. He knew he looked disheveled and tired.

"Really, I think 66 more years of sleep would look good on you." He backhandedly tapped Steve's chest. "Go take a nap."

"I don't think I'll be able to sleep after she ran off like that." Steve sighed.

"We'll take care of her." Bucky reassured him. "We can always wake you up if need be, but her and Nat have grown really close. She has a lot of people in her court."

After about 10 more minutes of arguing with Bucky, he decided to just let him win under the conditions that he would keep him updated when he found out any new information.

Steve showered, shaved, and put on sweatpants and a shirt before getting into bed. He didn't want to wear pants, but he did it for your sake, just in case you came to find him. Realizing it had been about an hour since the incident, he tried calling you just to see if you would pick up, but he wasn't shocked when you didn't. So he sent you a text letting you know he was here for you when you were ready, then tried his hardest to get his mind to calm down enough to fall asleep.

It took an unfortunately short amount of time, as the second he laid down sleep hit him harder than your fist against his face, and he knocked out for so long that he woke up to the sound of his phone ringing, and it was now pitched black in his bedroom.

"Hello?" Steve mumbled into his phone.

"Jesus Christ, good morning sleeping beauty." Bucky said.

"Weren't you the one who told me to get some sleep?" Steve poked.

"Not important, glad you're back from the dead. I have some updates for you. Are you awake enough to process the words I'm speaking to you"

“I will be once I'm filled with rage over this situation again. What's up?"

"The security footage was recovered and I finally got to see it. It's enough evidence to land Harvey in jail for assault, so that's what Natasha is currently perusing."

Steve sat up in bed and reached for the lamp on the bedside table, blinking his eyes to adjust as it clicked on. "What happened?"

"She was alone in the gym, running on the treadmill and minding her own business. 212 saw her in there on her own, snuck in through the back door and yanked her off the treadmill. Her foot slipped off the end of the machine so he pushed her forward and scraped her face and arms against the moving belt, which is why she was bleeding. He was screaming some things at her but none of it is very clear. He tried kicking her a few times but she was able to get up and try to push him off of her, he persisted and she got fed up after he managed to get a swing at her collar bone and kicked her chin. She just... started swinging at him and didn't stop until you and Nat got them away from each other." Bucky explained.

"If this video can get him in jail, that would be great. But it can't be used if it's incriminating against her. We can't have that happen." Steve sighed.

"If anything, it's proof of self defense. You know Nat would never let anything bad happen to her. None of us would." Bucky reminded Steve. "It looked really painful on her end though. She ended up going to medical, but they released her a couple hours ago. JARVIS is telling me she's hanging out on the roof."

"Think I should go up there?" Steve asked, swinging his legs over the side of the bed, already knowing the answer.

"Well I don't necessarily think she should be alone for much longer."

"I'll talk to you later then."

The call ended and Steve stood in front of the mirror to fix his hair, while trying his hardest to ignore how tender and swollen his cheek was now. Before making it up to the private roof access, Bucky sent him the video and it took everything out of him to not kill Harvey with his own two hands. But a deep breathing exercise helped him regulate his anger again.

When he got up there and made it to the top, he saw you laying beneath the stars on a blanket with your headphones on, quietly crying to yourself and hoping that the moon understood your pain.

You noticed Steve immediately, and took your headphones off before sitting up as he quietly sat down next you. Trying your hardest to be brave, your lip wobbled trying to contain the new wave of emotion you felt. No words needed to be exchanged as you gently reached up and cupped his bruised cheek into your palm. There was a physical pain blossoming in your chest as he wrapped you up into his arms, but butterflies fluttered in his stomach as you let one of your arms keep him close, and your hand stayed over his cheek.

You cried tucked into his neck for a little while as he rubbed your back and simply let you feel your feelings. After a little while he heard your small broken voice.

"I'm so sorry." You apologized again, bravely pulling away and moving your hand to inspect the damage you did to his face. "Are you okay? Does it hurt?"

"It's okay, Bugs. I'm fine. It was a dumb move on my part to grab you like that, if I was you I would've punched me too." Steve responded sincerely, taking in the burn-like scabs on your face down near your jaw. "Are you okay?"

"Could've been a lot worse." You nodded with a sniffle, really trying to convince yourself that you were okay. "I don't remember what happened, it all happened so fast I can't even recall specifics. I got scared and didn't want to hurt anyone else so I ran. I'm still trying to come down from that."

"I saw footage from the security camera, it wasn't good, Bug." Steve broke the news to you softly. "You did what you needed to do, and it was all within reason. There mere fact that you walked away with a few scrapes and bruises is a miracle."

"Did he sneak up on me?" You asked, Steve simply nodded in return with a sympathetic look on his face. "That's what I thought must've happened, that's also probably why I punched you so hard."

"If you need to see the video to help you process, I'll show it to you. But right now, I think it's best to just try and wind down."

In agreement, you made yourself comfortable next to Steve. You sat sideways nearly on his lap, with your legs thrown over his. His arm pulled you into his torso, and you rested your head onto your shoulder. Steve noticed your tiny winces as you adjusted to the new found pain and soreness in your body, but he tried his best to avoid all the spots he knew were injured.

“You saw a doctor right? Is everything okay?" He questioned, genuinely concerned.

You nodded. "Everything is pretty surface level, but apparently being slammed onto some heady gym equipment can bruise a rib."

"Bruised ribs are so painful" Steve's face scrunched up. "You're one tough cookie."

"I'm sorry this is what you came home to after being away for so long."

Steve was looking at you, admiring the way you looked under the moonlight, yet you couldn't keep your eyes off the stars. "I wish you didn't feel the need to apologize for things that aren't your fault."

"I'm working on that, and I don't anymore for most people. But for you? A million apologies wouldn't be enough. You're too sweet for this kind of nonsense."

"You are too, but out of all people you should know that I understand." Steve stressed. "In a lot of ways, we're very similar, Bug. I know what it feels like to be in the position you're in right now. You don't need to explain anything or apologize to me. I get it."

You tried to understand his words, but you really didn't. For a moment, you almost got upset with him for implying that anyone would treat him the way you've been treated around the compound. Steve was one of the most respected people in the world, you could barely earn the respect of a new hire agent. "I don't see anyone rushing to try and physically harm you for going on a run." You wiped tears from under your eyes.

"No, maybe not here." Steve agreed with you. "But way back when I first got the serum, I struggled really hard to earn respect from anyone around me."

"I have to admit, it's hard to imagine anyone disrespecting you."

Steve grinned and carefully brushed a few stray strands of hair away from your eyes. "I went from a 90 pound asthmatic who didn't have the strength to complete one push up to a human science experiment. I proved myself the very moment after I got the serum and it still wasn't enough for a lot of people. Thats why I was paraded around on that USO tour for so long, nobody thought I could handle fighting a war."

"You looked really cute in those booty shorts" you sniffled.

Steve chuckled at your statement. "Stop making me laugh when I'm trying to teach you a valuable lesson."

"I'd rather jump off this roof than not make you laugh" you smiled despite the contradictory tears.

"The point of this conversation is actually to make sure you don't jump off the roof." Steve informed you.

Your eyes moved from the stars to his eyes, they were both as equally beautiful and bright. "Is that what you're worried about? I would never-"

"Quite honestly, yeah, I am." He cautiously continued with a slight nod. "We see a more on a daily basis than anyone should see in their whole life, that alone is grounds for struggle but when you factor in everything else, I don't think that concern is far off."

Your tears fell faster at his statement. As a sad sob slipped past your throat and your eyes found the sky once more, Steve's heart broke knowing he hit the nail on the head. He also knew you wouldn't open up if you felt defensive about it, so he needed to take the scenic route to get you there.

"What's your favorite part about the stars?" Steve asked. "You seem to love looking at the sky when you're sad."

"Looking for constellations helps me stay calm and get out of my head" You explain with a sniffle. "They're hard to see in the city but it's better here upstate."

Steve looked up. "It's amazing to me that you can find constellations. All I see is each individual star."

You pointed at the brightest light. "That's Saturn, and these stars right below it make up the Aquarius constellation."

"It's crazy that the universe is so vast."

"That's another reason why I like the stars so much. With so much happening out there, it's a good reminder that everything down here is so tiny and insignificant in the grand scheme of the universe. Sometimes that makes me feel like I can keep going strong, like one day none of this will even matter."

"You really believe in astrology? I go back and forth. The stars are so far away, I struggle to understand how they can control so much of who we are." Steve pondered.

"I do believe in it." You nodded. "The moon controls our oceans, the tide is physical proof. Our bodies are made up of 60% water, and all of the other elements we're made up of were formed in the stars over the course of billions of years. It's hard for me to believe they don't have a say in what's going on down here."

"I've never thought of it that way." Steve grinned. "It's really magical when you put it like that."

"Maybe you're made up of more stardust than the average human considering your eyes seem to twinkle like they're already up in space." You noted. "It's magical, but it's also equally devastating to feel like the bad parts of your life are written into the stars."

"We need the not so great stuff to help us understand how amazing the good stuff is. Can't see the stars if the sun is out." For some reason, his perspective brought you comfort. It felt like the hug he kept you wrapped up in. "Maybe that's always why I've thought so highly of you. Despite the darkness you've continued to show excellence, and shine brighter than the rest."

"Then maybe I'm a supernova because sometimes I really do feel like I'm going to explode." You giggled at your own realization.

"Even then you'd still shine a million times brighter than the sun!" Steve enthused, big smile on his face. "But don't explode, black holes are terrifying."

"I won't. That's why I came up here. Avengers only access, don't have to worry about anybody else or the damn sprinklers."

"When I was in the Army, drawing was my version of looking at the stars. It was the only way I could really get my mind to quiet down." Steve explained. "Back then, I was miserable. All the army men hated me, I had recently lost my mom, and I thought I killed Bucky. The war was so horrific I didn't think I'd ever be able to recover from what I had to do or what I had to see, and I felt even worse for the innocent lives taken in the whole ordeal. So, when I knew that I could end it... I did."

"You're a hero because of it." You agreed, feeling a bit confused by his words.

"No, you don't understand." Steve denied. "The plane crash that got me stuck in the ice? I could've gotten out. There was a chance for me to jump out of the plane, but I didn't. I didn't see the point."

Your heart sank at the implication of what he was confessing to you, and all it wanted to make you do is just hold him tight and weep forever. But you knew that wasn't the point, you knew you just needed to keep listening.

"I can't say that I regret it, because had that never happened I would've never gotten to enjoy living a life I never imagined, and I would've never met you, or the Avengers." He explained. "But it made my life far more complicated, and at least once a day I imagine what my life would've been like had I just gotten myself to safety, and that imagining- the 'what's ifs?' is something I'd never wish upon anyone. I do know how you feel, and much like you know the moon controls the ocean, I know things will get better. All you need to do is believe it."

Your eyes momentarily squeezed shut to rid them of the tears blurring your vision. They dripped down your cheeks as you shook your head, and his brave vulnerability made you realize that you always loved him, but in this moment you had fully and irrevocably had fallen for him. It was as if there was no more questions in your mind, you couldn't even understand anymore why you hadn't been with him way before this whole mess. It consumed every single one of your emotions, you simply couldn't ignore it anymore.

"I would never, Rogers, never." You confirmed with a cry. "I can't lie, I've been pushed to thinking about it, but it made me realize that I couldn't do that to you, my parents, Luca. Nobody. I love you so much, and I really hate to hear that, but I'm really glad you're here."

"Maybe this is what was written in the stars." Steve reached his hand up and used his thumb to gently swipe tears off your cheeks. "Maybe all of this was meant to happen so that this moment, right now could teach you that no matter what happens, you'll always have people to catch you at the bottom should you feel like you have nowhere else to go."

"Or maybe the lesson is that the idea of our existences happening at the same time is so unlikely that we have no choice but to listen to the universe." You said quietly, almost coming to that realization in real time. "Maybe you were always meant to be mine."

Steve's heart nearly pounded out of his chest as you spoke those words, then, as you looked up at him and closed the distance between your lips, he felt like a supernova too. He was burning hotter and brighter than ever before when your soft lips connected to his, his chest was mere seconds away from exploding when you pulled away to examine his shocked face.

Trying to process what had just happened, the sound of your giggles at his twinkling eyes and blushed cheeks grounded him and pulled him right back down to earth.

"Wait hold on..." Steve clutched his chest.

"Are you going to throw up?" You asked, wiping the last of your tears off your face as your smile took over.

"I think I need to sit down." He stated, finally making eye contact with you.

Your laugh boomed once again. "You're already sitting!"

"Okay, then I need to lay down." He said, readjusting to lay down on your blanket.

Your smile persisted as you laid down next to him. Shoulder to shoulder, arm to arm, your hands intertwined. "This is better than you throwing up."

"Wait..." Steve spoke, looking up at the moon.

You turned your head to look at him. "What?"

"Again" He insisted, turning his head towards you too.

It took a lot of effort to contain your smile enough to kiss him, but you did, and it felt just as right as the first time. Keeping it short and sweet, it didn't take long for Steve to point to the stars.

"I like these bitches, they're being very nice to me right now" He smiled.

Admitting to how hard you laughed at his statement would simply be too embarrassing, but it was hard enough to yell at him for further irritating your bruised rib. "Now you can't get mad at me for calling you Twinkles."

"You can call me whatever you want, Love Bug."

Butterflies in your stomach erupted in flutters at his choice of nickname. "A cancer and a Gemini, who would've thought?"

Steve shrugged. "It works."

"What now?" You asked with a sigh, you didn't know if you were asking Steve or the stars.

"You fight your ass off in a trial against Harvey, you help us out in an investigation on him and everyone that's been tormenting you, you continue doing what you're amazing at, and you keep that beautiful smile on your face because all of this is about to change." Steve explained. "This was the fuel we needed to start a fire around the compound. It's enough to light the whole place up and change the status quo. By the end of it, it's going to improve the lives of every agent in the program, that's my vow to you."

All his words sounded appealing and genuine enough to believe them.

"Pinky promise?" You raised your pinky on the hand that wasn't already holding his.

"Pinky promise" He connected his pinky with yours, then kissed the back of his hand... then your forehead... then your lips.

He knew confidently, now more than ever, that his love for you transcended time and space. The laws of life, love, nature, and even the stars never applied to the connection you two shared.

Maybe it was fate, or maybe it was coincidence that the boy born in 1918 had a chance to fall so deeply in love with a girl who didn't live in the same era as him.

Or maybe everything did happen for a reason. Maybe your life was already mapped out in the stars, and all you had to do was find the right constellations.

You would always have infinite questions about the intricacies of the universe, but out of all the answers you are confident in, you knew two things for certain.

Steve was your North Star. So long as you had him to guide you, you always knew you'd be on the correct path. You'd always get where you needed to go, and he would always be there for you regardless of what season of life you were in.

He was your star crossed lover.

Next Part: Promotion

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sehnsuchts-trunken · 3 days

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Hi!! I think you'll do an amazing job with Tangerine, so if you don't mind: 1) Tangerine x Reader (female or whatever), he gets patched up after a bad mission, and a first kiss happens! 2) Tangerine x F!Plus Size reader, reader is super anxious about her appearance and he aggressively shows her how sexy he thinks she is?

Thank you!!!

oh i adore 1! i don't think i've ever written a first kiss tho, so- i'm venturing into the unknown with this!

also, i know jackshit about medicine. i had to google what the hell gauze means after wikihow told me that you can use it to clean a wound

also here's my masterlist for anyone interested, and feel free to request here

"Stay still", you scold, grabbing his chin harder and dragging him back to face you. That he keeps moving doesn't help in the fucking slightest as you try to wipe at the cut on his face. It's a good thing he hadn't been hurt all that badly, but it's still so unusual. And it's even more unusual that you're the one to patch him up. Actually, it's not just unusual - it's a first.

"This is fuckin' unnecessary", Tangerine grunts, his knuckles turning white as he digs his nails into his palms. "I'm fine."

You huff and try to brush the piece of gauze you're holding over his skin, but he jerks away from you so suddenly that you drop it right onto the floor.

"It's very much necessary", you sigh, digging your fingertips into his chin to keep him steady as you lean down to fish it off the ground. He's like a fucking snake, trying to wind out of your grip and you don't know why. He can't be this worried you'll hurt him - it's not that bad and he's used to pain. Also, he's steady like a rock the rest of the time. There's something wrong. "A cut like this can get infected and leave a scar."

You put the gauze down on the table next to you (you can't use it anymore now it's kissed the fucking floor) and draw your hands away from him to soak a new one before you turn back.

"It'll sting a bit, so stay still", you repeat forcefully as you press it to his skin. He flinches away before you can even grab for his chin again.

"Fuck, love", he rasps, his hand jerking up and his fingers digging through the belt loops of your jeans. You draw in a sharp breath. For whatever reason, your heart misses a beat. That's... new.

"Tan", you breathe, choked up and throaty. He lets go of you again just as quickly as he reached for you in the first place.

A grunt rolls off his tongue, and that pulls you back to reality. With more ferocity than you'd thought, you blink until the haze clears and grab the gauze more firmly.

"Tangerine, I'm sure you've been through way worse", you chide, your voice back to normal again. As forcefully as you can, you grip his chin and maneuver him to face you. "So stay still."

He tries to talk, but you keep him right where he is and it only comes out as a mumbled mess while you press the gauze against his skin - still careful, just not softly.

"Stay still", you repeat. By now it just feels like you're a broken record, re- re- restarting over and over again. By god, Lemon is right, Tangerine is a fucking Gordon. He never listens.

For whatever divine reason, this time, he actually does stay still. Still and quiet. He doesn't even hiss as you brush the gauze down his skin, and when it's soaked with blood, you even risk letting go of him to drench a new one.

"See", you mutter, your eyes focused on the cut you press the new gauze against, trying to work quickly without hurting him. Your free hand steadies against his shoulder. "You can do so well."

It's not weird as you say it. It's weird a heartbeat later, when your brain comprehends just what you've said. Eugh. You can hardly stop from cringing at yourself.

This is not the dynamic you and Tangerine have. This is not you at all. You don't think you've ever told anyone above the age of five 'they're doing so well'. And you most definitely don't tell Tangerine that.

But a muscle in his jaw feathers as you do, and your eyes flicker up to his for just a second - which turns out to be the exact wrong thing to do, because he's already watching you, and there's something inexplicably heavy about his gaze that has you freezing.

Just completely freezing up.

"Tan-", you start - but you can barely get through half his name before he's surging forward, wrapping his arms around your waist and pressing his lips against yours.

Fuck.

Your mind blanks entirely. You truly don't feel like you exist for a moment.

He's kissing you. Tangerine is kissing you. His lips are on yours, his moustache tickles your skin, his hands flatten against your waist and his arms tighten around you.

And then he pulls away again. Just as quickly as he'd leaned in.

"Sorry, love, I-"

You don't know what overcomes you, but something knocks you forward like a tidal wave, right back into his arms, your lips slotting over his once more. The gauze you'd been holding onto for dear life drops, down to the floor or down to his lap, you don't know and can't be bothered to check either, as your hands fly against his chest, fingers cramping into the collar of his shirt and pulling him against you hard.

This time, he pulls back only to grin at you.

"If I'd known that's all it takes for you to kiss me, I would've let someone scratch me up weeks ago, darling."

#tangerine x reader #bullet train #bullet train tangerine #x reader #bullet train x reader #tangerine #tangerine bullet train

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tomssexdoll · 2 days

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heyy girl i have a request

can you do 2010tom x reader fic where tom and bill have a sister who’s same age as reader(they’re best friends) and tom is crushing on reader(don’t mind me,i love romantic stuff🤧)

hiii ofc pookie

My best friend Summer has 2 twin brothers, one named Bill and one named Tom. Me and Bill are super close and Tom too but Tom is very different.

Tom has always been super flirty with me, kissing my cheek when he greets me, putting his hand around my waist possesively when other guys are around, cuddling me in very provocative ways when I'm over and watching a movie.

Summer never really noticed, he only did it when we weren't around her. I felt bad for letting him do it but I couldn't help myself, he was a really cute guy and super kind. He always treated me with respect and stood up for me if I was getting bullied.

One night Tom had invited me over, it wasn't unusual since we were somewhat friends and Summer knew. Bill and Summer were out for the night, on a holiday with their parents, Tom had decided to stay back to focus on his "studies." I didn't buy it for a second.

Once I arrived he opened the door, his eyes lighting up as he picked me up and hugged me tightly, "heyy y/n!", I chuckled, he set me down eventually and I walked in, heading up to his room.

"Soo, what do you wanna do?" he smiled, obviously super nervous. "Oh, anything" I smiled back, sitting on his bed and looking around his room. I had never really been in his room before, only for a short time if he needed to show me something.

He sat down next to me, his tall frame towering over me, making me cave. "Uh...do you wanna watch a movie?" I said, stuttering slightly. He smirked and rubbed my thigh softly with his thumb, "Y/N, its just us..you don't need to pretend anymore.." he whispered in my ear, softly kissing my neck.

I pulled back, sort of freaked out "Tom..but..what about summer? She'll kill me if she finds out!" I whined, "then we won't tell her" he rolled his eyes, slightly groaning.

I sighed and nodded, moving my neck to give him better access. He grinned and held the back of my head, his lips doing magic on my neck, leaving little marks everywhere he went.

"You know..i've liked you for years y/n, I hate that Summer is getting in the way of us" he sighed, pulling back and looking deeply into my eyes, caressing my cheek. "I know Tommy, but maybe if we tell her another time she'll understand, I'll try and throw hints that i like you.." he nodded "honestly that's kind of a good plan, I just want to be able to hold and kiss you in front of everyone, tell everyone you're mine and mine only"

I smiled, blushing softly "me too Tom, i've liked you for years too..all the secret little acts of affection you do made me fall harder for you" he chuckled "it always made me happy when you'd get flustered, you're so cute" he leaned in closer, his lips brushing against mine.

I softly kissed him, my hand resting on his chest. He kissed back with more passion, holding the back of my head again, pulling me in closer. His hands moved to my waist, pulling me onto his lap.

I continued to kiss him, our lips locking in a desperate embrace, needing each others touch urgently, depraved for so long. "I love you Tom.." I blurted out, his eyes widened, "fuck..no..I'm sorry!" I sighed, thinking it was too soon, how could we ever love me?

My overthinking was cut short by him smashing his lips into mine again, "I love you too..it was just a little shocking hearing it" he chuckled.

(When Tom sees or thinks of Y/N, just the way you are by bruno mars starts to play)

tags: @itsmealaiah @tomscumdump @tomkaulitzloverr @20doozers @ge-billsgf @miyukafujii @charliesgoodboy @tomscumdoll @ballhair @bkaulitzlover @syylss

#tom kaulitz #tokiohotel #bill kaulitz #georg listing #gustav schäfer #tomkaulitzeatmypussy #tomkaulitztokiohotel #tom kaulitz x reader #tom kaulitz x you #tom kaulitz x y/n #ilovetomkaulitzhessobaeiwanthimtofuckmerightnow #ilovetomkaulitzmybfomg #i love tom #i love tommy #sweet fluff #drabble #fluff drabble

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empressofthesunslittlecorner · 18 hours

Text

A rant about Aang and Byrke

WARNING NOT KATAANG FRIENDLY

CONTINUE WITH PRECAUTION

Hello my loves!

Here I'm with a new blog entry.

This time we will talk about Kataang, Aang and Byrke.

Since I'm writing a FanFic where Aang is paired with an OC, I thought I could tell you why I prefer Aang with OCs instead of Katara.

Just to be clear.

I like Aang.

I love Katara and would for this girl sell my liver.

But them together as a pair...please no!

Kataang is one of my NOTPs.

In my Let's Talk about Zutara post I pretty much said why I can't stand this pairing.

One is the age and maturity gap.

What does a 14-year-old want with a 12-year-old? It's just creepy, no matter the gender and it would have been better if they got together at like 22 and 20.

Even if I think Zutara is superior, I could grimly accept Kataang.

Second Aang and Katara are the worst version of their self together.

I haven't read the comics, but what I saw on Tumblr and on Legend of Korra was enough to make me angry.

Katara was reduce to Aang price, girlfriend, housewife and mother of his children.

The warrior girl we all loved, who never turned her back on people who needed her, became in the name of love (and Byrke) a shadow of herself.

Our real Katara would smack this wishy-washy version of herself to kingdom come!

Then we have Aang. The boy clearly turns into a Nice GuyTM when it's about Katara.

He kissed her TWICE, TWICE, without her consent and never said sorry for this.

He thinks he deserves her love because he is the Avatar (the hero) and that's how it be.

Till Season 2 Aang wasn't that worse about Katara, a lot of plotpoints pointed out that Aang obsession, I'm not calling it love, on Katara was not good.

He replaced the love for his people with Katara.

Erm, that's not healthy at all.

What Aang expierendec was traumatic, he is the sole suriver of a genocide, but he can't shove all his love for his people to Katara.

How can only one person hold this standards?

It's impossible.

Katara is a bandaid on a ripped arm.

A bandaid isn't going to fix Aang trauma.

He needed to really face it and accept it and let Katara go.

Guru Pathik told him he to let Katara go, but I don't think it was meant to say, don't love that girl anymore.

No, it was more like: you clearly are obsessed with her and think if she loves you all your hurt will go away, but this isn't the case!

Aang could still love Katara, he just needed to stop to put her on a pestal!

Then we know what happens, he let's her go, seems to get the Avatar State, but turn it down because Katara is in danger and he must save her.

Alright, we all would run to our loved one if they are in danger, but Aang, you are the Avatar.

The Avatar is the peacekeeper of this world.

Sadly he can't put his own desires forward, he has do to what was for the world right!

In the Crystal Catabombs he realizes this.

So he let's go of Katara to get the Avatar State and then gets shot down by Azula.

Then when the first episode of season 3 rolls around, you get the feeling that Aang learnend his lesson.

Because he was selfish, he lost his greatest eapan.

He needed to be better.

Only...after the first episode season 3 was really...bad.

I can't say it better.

If you compare it to the other two seasons...season 3 has mayor problems.

A lot of plotpoints get forgotten, Aang didn't learn from his mistakes, he acts entitled for Katara love and he gets his Avatar State back thanks to Deus-Ex-Machine Rock and even finds a way to handle Ozai thanks to Deus-Ex-Machine Lion Turtle.

How, HOW, did the creators look at this and want a golly what an awesome final?

It was not!

It was rushend and not earnend!

Because Aang is a selfinsert from Bryek.

They statet once in an interview that Kataang was reflection how they had a crush on their babysitter, who of course didn't wanted them and would go out with the "bad boy".

The bad boy here in question is Zuko, which is hilarious since Zuko is the most awkward dork.

So they wanted to create a story were the young hero gets the hot older girl.

No normal 14-year-old girl would date a 12-year-old and if she did call the police on her ass!

Avatar was only amazing because of writers like Aaron Ehasz, who turned Toph, who was supposed to be a boy and a love rival for Aang, into this badass girl who didn't let her disabilty stop her to become the greatest earthbender and inventer of metalbening in the world.

They truned Iroh into thee loveable and wise uncle and not like Byrke wanted into a spy for Ozai.

Also Azula was supposed to be a boy too, but she became the female villain we all loved and wish we would see in other media's too!

A lot of writer wanted also Zutara to happen and not Kataang.

If I remember right season 3 was so rushed and lacking because the movie-who-shall-not-be-named was in production and Bryke wanted the series to end before it.

A lot of concept were thrown out the window for it.

The writers wanted to make even a season 4, where Aang would even find other airbenders, but noooooooooooooooo we can't give Aang the healing he deserves, we must live out a fantasy trough this boy.

Looking at you Bryke.

Anyways we got, what we got and I'm so not happy about it.

Zutara should be canon and Aang should have found a girl who loved really, who was his equal and who didn't needed to be a broodmare for the air nomads, becasue there where still air nomads around.

Here we get back to my preference to ship Aang with OCs. Since I'm a big fan of the theoretical season four we would have gotten, it's only naturel to imagine own characters, since no canon characters exist for it.

I would have loved to see Aang with a descendant of Air Nomads. She learning from him, he learning from her, cute!

But let's be real if Aang is writing good he could work with a lot of characters.

Even canon ones like On Ji. I found her really cute with him.

The only thing I want for Aang partner is that the girl doesn't get reduced to a broodmare.

So the airbenders have always to come back/stop from hiding.

IT'S NOT THE COMPLICATED!

BUT WE CAN'T HAVE NICE THINGS!

WE LIVE IN THE DARK TIMELINE!

AVATAR COULD HAVE BEEN THE MOST REVOLUTIONARY CARTOON EVER, BUT NOOOOOO TWO MEN HAD TO MAKE THEIR WEIRD FANTASY REALITY AND DIDN'T LISTEN TO THEIR TEAM OF WRITER WHO WERE LIKE, FAM THAT'S NARRAVTIVLY SPEACKING HUGE STEPS BACKWARDS!!!!!!

AAAAAAAAAAAARRRRGGGGHHHHHHHHHH!

Yeah, I think you all guessed how much I hate Bryke.

Fricking pricks!

Also, people who make fun of their own fans because they ship a pairing themselves not like are the worst!

That shows have much respect they have for their fans.

Zero.

They just wanted to live out their fantasy and be done.

Again, fricking pricks!

So for now, that's from me, I needed to get it out of my chest.

Till next time my loves!

#avatar the last airbender #anti kataang #anti bryke #katara deserved better #aang deserved better #zuko deserved better #the whole gaang deserved better #bryke critical #avatar the last airbender season 3 was a trainwreck #zutara

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cillianmarryme · 2 days

Text

Iᑎ YOᑌᖇ ᕼᗴᗩᖇT

Pairing : Thomas Shelby X Wife!Reader

Summary : You and Tommy have been together for as long as you can remember, but sometimes, it feels like he doesn't even love you anymore.

Warning : Smut, spanking, degradation kink, praise kink, rough sex, daddy kink.

Notes : I'm so sorry I barely write. I have the English vocabulary of a 5 year old 😭 and I study everything in irish, so I have to translate it all 😭😭

Y/N Y/L/N, or commonly known as Y/N Shelby, laid on the shared bed in your and Tommy's house. You were growing anxious about your husbands arrival. He hadn't done anything sweet for you for a while, and now he told you to wait for him in bed? You were certain he'd divorce you if you said no, so you agreed. But you also agreed because he called you 'Good girl' when you obeyed his orders.

Suddenly, the front door opens and closes, and you hear footsteps making their way to the room. You greet Tommy with a soft smile as you look up at him.

"What are we doing, Tom?" You ask with a quiet chuckle.

He grins as he walked over to you, bending down in front of the bed, smirking, "I've a gift for you, darling," He leaned over and gave you a kiss before taking off his shirt.

"And what's the gift then, Tom? Sex?" You joked before he kissed you again. Wow. He was really gifting sex.

The next day, you walked downstairs in just your night gown when you saw him downstairs. You smiled and walked over to him, "Good morning, darling."

You pecked his lips and sat down at the table. You looked up at him as the cheeky smirk grew on his face.

"Morning, suger," He smirked and bent over to peck your lips. You kissed him with a little more force and he split some tongue into it when you pushed away.

"Wait, Tom... I have to ask you something," the serious expression grew on your face as you felt anxiety pent up in your mind. When he gave you the green light to continue, you took in a deep breath and began.

"I don't know if you love me anymore. I love you, Tom, but do you? It seems like whenever you aren't mad, you want sex. And when you don't want sex, you're mad or gone. I don't get you Tom. Can you just tell me if you love me still or not?"

You asked with full seriousness in your tone. He looked at you as if you were crazy, "Y/N, are you kidding?"

He put his arms around your waist and smiled. "I love you, Darling. If you were a thousand pounds fat, or only one pound skinny. If you were a woman or... nevermind. No matter what you'd be - except a man - I'd still love you. You're the perfect woman ever. You don't get how much I love you."

He stated before kissing you again. He kissed down your neck, shoulders, and gently moved the nightgown to place two little kisses on your boobs. Luckily, Charlie was gone off with his cousins.

You moaned a little and watched as he made his trail of kisses down to your thigh. You gripped his hair as he opened your nightgown and gave your wet heat a kiss.

He slapped your ass and stood back up, "So wet and you just woke up, honey. Did seeing me make you that wet?"

He taunted and you couldn't help but nod. "I-Im sorry daddy..."

He shook his head and sighed "Well, I can't leave my pretty girl wet now, can I?" He bent you over the table and slapped your pussy before taking his pants off.

He rammed his cock into your tight cunt and moaned "Fuck, doll." He grabbed your hair and fucked you harder.

"God, you like that, you fucking slut?" He pushed all of his length into you and stayed still "you're my pretty slut, right, baby?"

"Fuck, yours Tom! All of yours!" You moan as your walls clench around him. You quickly came around his cock as he smacked your ass again.

You feel his hot come shoot into your womb before he pulled out "i love you."

#tommy shelby #cillian murphy #peaky blinders #thomas shelby smut #cillian smut #thomas shelby x reader #This story is very sigma

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mcufan72 · 2 days

Text

Sugar and Cinnamon

Loki x female reader (AU)/ 18+

Chapter 11

Chapter 10

Warnings: contains fluff, smut, angst, unprotected sex, alcohol and cigarette consumption, soft!dom/sub vibes, toxic relationship, morally grey stuff, blackmailing, abusive and insulting behaviour

Note: I hadn't much time to write lately and I don't know when it's going to change... my job is killing me these days. This chapter took 10 days to get written and it became a very long chapter (~11k words), so get some snacks and something to drink. I hope you enjoy.

You looked at him, swallowed, took a deep breath and then you began to tell him how it all started…

…nearly six months ago:

“Can we talk?” You asked Ralph after entering his office.

“Don't you see that I don't have any time to talk to you right now,” he answered harshly and stressed while reading the contract documents concerning the new advertising contract his marketing agency was ready to sign. The big deal that would catapult him and his company to the top of the marketing agencies in North America. He ran his fingers nervously through his dark brown hair, keeping his brown eyes fixed on the documents. “ We can talk later!”

“No, we need to talk now,” you told him strictly.

It had been a long day at work today like every day lately and you two had barely time to talk. And you two not talking properly to each other had been for months now. You and Ralph and the team around you were stuck deeply in negotiations with a production company for luxury wristwatches and thanks to your superb knowledge of marketing strategies and your excellent conversation tactics you finally got the deal for the new marketing campaign and the assignment from the wristwatch manufacturer. No, Ralph got the deal, the agency was his company, not yours. You were just his account manager in a leading position and his girlfriend for five years.

What you had to tell him was urgent and you had to tell him now. You didn't want to postpone this important conversation for the umpteenth time just because he always pretended to not have time for you. But you were his girlfriend and fiancée-to-be on hold and he had to have time for you, for heaven's sake. He didn't even raise his head to look at you when you approached his curved glass desk.

“I leave!”

“Yeah, good. Go home and get some rest. I don't know when I'll be back home. Might be late. Take a bath, shave and get pretty for me. I don't want to see you in a worn-out t-shirt and that ugly butterfly-patterned pyjama bottoms when I come home. Wear something nice … wear the red negligee, you know I like it. We can ‘celebrate’ my deal then.” He still didn't look at you and you grinned annoyed, shaking your head lightly.

“That's not what I meant, Ralph.”

“Then explain.”

“I leave. I leave the company… and you!” You thought it would be harder to tell him that but I wasn't. It felt more of a relief. Your relationship with him was in a crisis for months at this point and when you got aware of it you recognised that you didn't love him anymore. The love you once had felt for him had already faded away some time ago. So you decided to leave him, with all the consequences. You didn't want to hold on to a relationship that didn't make sense anymore even if that meant you had to find a new job. But you didn't worry about that. You were good at what you were doing and finding a new job in the marketing business wouldn't be a problem for you. Also, you wanted to pick up your studies again so you would be perfectly qualified to run your own business one day.

“Yeah, okay… wait, you what?” Ralph finally looked at you, frowning and astonished.

“I leave the agency and you. Look, I'll stay until the contract is signed. It takes approximately four weeks for our lawyers to verify the conditions before the signing so I'll stay until then. That's enough time for you to look for a new assistant and account manager. And if you're being honest our relationship is at a dead end and I know you can feel it too. I'm sorry if my announcement takes you a bit off guard but we hardly spend time with each other for months now. You're barely at home. I have a feeling that you keep avoiding me. And when you are at home you never really want to talk to me, we just have quick sex and maybe we have dinner together and…Ralph, I don't want to beat around the bush but… I don't love you anymore. The feeling isn't there anymore. It's gone, possibly on both sides. You became so loveless with time. But okay, it happens, that's life and there's nothing wrong with that. We both have changed and we both should move on. A relationship without love… it simply doesn't make sense and I like things to make sense. Let us look at this fantastic deal as our final big success on the long haul and then we both can start new things. Everyone for themselves. I think that's just fair,” you explained in a strict but friendly tone.

Ralph was a good-looking man, tall with broad shoulders, short dark hair, and hazelnut brown eyes, charming and good with words. That was why you fell for him five years ago. Now you knew that wasn't enough, there was so much more a healthy relationship needed and he couldn't give it to you or he didn't want to give it to you. And now after five years, you knew him well enough to be sure that he wasn't the right man for you so you decided to end it without causing further complications.

“What a silly girl you are, darling,” and he stood up from his leather executive chair, grinning at you dismissively. “Who do you think you are, hm?”

“I'm a strong woman who knows what she wants and what she doesn't want. And I don't want to be together with you anymore because you don't see me. You don't even have much time for me anymore just when you want to have sex and need to get some steam off. And that's not enough, Ralph. I want more and I deserve more. Please, accept my decision and that I don't have any feelings for you anymore and that there's nothing left that would be enough for a relationship or a marriage. I'm also sure it's more than difficult to continue working together after ending our relationship. Please, don't make it more awkward than necessary.” A scornful laugh escaped his throat.

“You're so ridiculous and such a stupid girl. I'll tell you what you want… this!” and he made a presenting gesture with his arms to underline his statement. “You want this job, you want me, the money and the luxury life it allows us. The penthouse, the luxury cars, designer clothes, the exclusive holidays in the world's best hotels. Do you really want to give all that up, darling? Do you really want to tell me you never appreciated all that?” You didn't like the contemptuous tone in his voice as if he were looking down on you.

“I never said that. I do appreciate our privileged life and all the amenities we have and I always worked hard for it so that we can have this kind of lifestyle. But it has nothing to do with love, it's just material and I want more than that and there's no love anymore between us, and you know it as well as I do.”

“We, darling, we worked hard for it. It's my agency, and in the end, it's my money but in my generosity, I always shared with you,” he insisted.

You swallowed down the words you wanted to throw at him because you knew who in this agency was doing the real work. It was you and Ralph's other highly qualified employees. He only harvested the fruits of your hard work and celebrated successes as his merits. He never cared about the fact that success is rather a team result than an individual achievement. A fact that bothered you more and more and added to the fact that you were losing the love you once had felt for him.

“And I know you want me. You can't live without me, can you? I'm the only one who knows what you need and what's good for you, hm? Because I can feel it whenever we have sex,” he tried to convince you, rounding his desk and walking towards you.

There must be something wrong with his feelings because it seemed he never had recognised how often you had faked your orgasms. He always did it his way. Hard, fast, and always dominant and he hated soft lovemaking. At some point, you began faking your climax to get finished soon with the bedroom activities which became more and more unsatisfying for you because Ralph just satisfied his own needs. And when you did it you better do it without questioning his masculinity. After some time you became very good at it. You better because otherwise he would've been in a foul mood for days and everyone around him including you would've felt the consequences. He stood close to you and with his sweaty palm, he cupped your cheek and ran his thumb firmly over your lips as if he wanted to wipe away the things you just said from your mouth like spilt food. Once his touches made you feel good but these days were truly gone and you didn't want him to touch you ever again.

“We had such a wonderful time together and always had good sex, didn't we?” He asked you smugly. He already needed to get his ego pampered again. A shiver ran down your spine and it wasn't because of lust.

“You always had good sex, not me,” you stated dryly.

“Ts ts ts…Darling, it's not my fault, it's you who's a little frigid sometimes but when you're in the right mood you can be such a horny slut and you know how much I like that,” he snickered. He wasn't completely wrong, you indeed liked some kinky stuff.

“I'm not frigid, you never listened to me when I asked you for some… sexy stuff to try or what I wanted to do in bed. Don't blame it on me alone, okay!” You said angrily.

“Darling, did your mother teach you to lie, hm?” His hand still cupped your cheek and you tried to escape from his touch.

“Don't put my mother into this,” you spat and pushed his hand away. “Our sex was never that good, not for me at least. You often left me high and dry and you didn't even care about that or ask or listen to me when I wanted to talk with you about it and what I needed to be satisfied too. You never cared. You never truly cared about me, did you? Gosh, I was so blind. Did you even love me, Ralph?” The thought struck you like a blow. How could you haven't seen this much earlier? How money could change someone so much and how much could someone be so blinded by love?

“Love, love… who needs love or romance? Money and success, that's what counts. Love is overrated, love is for kids and dogs,” he lamented, bored by what you were talking about.

“So you never loved me,” you stated disappointedly.

“Oh, I do, darling. At the beginning of our relationship, I definitely did. You were hot and eye candy and arm candy as well. You were pretty much of a head-turner, and you still are and I enjoy others looking at my beautiful girlfriend, especially our customers and business partners. It led to many successful deals that you're that pretty and smart. C’mon, doll, we both know that feelings can change and become different in a relationship and yes, maybe you're not my dream girl and I'm not your dream boy anymore, but that's why we don't have to split up right now, darling. We're such a successful team. C’mon it's just a phase, you're overworked and stressed out. Take a few days off. Drive to our house in the Hamptons and then everything will be fine again, okay? We'll fix our disagreements later when you're back,” he tried to appease you. “Don't be a drama queen! You don't want to leave me, I know it.” Ralph told you arrogantly and went back to his executive chair to sit down and pay attention to the contract documents again.

“You really don't get it, do you? It's not a phase, Ralph. It's a fact and I will leave,” you replied firmly. Ralph stayed silent, obviously getting pissed off more with every second your conversation continued. A look of scorn filled his eyes before he spoke again, his eyes fixed on yours.

“I think you're forgetting one tiny little detail,” He told you sneakily.

“What little detail? What do you mean?” you asked puzzled and frowning.

“Well, don't you remember our…little secret?” He winked at you and smirked. You suddenly remembered what he meant. You felt nauseous and a lump building in your throat made it heavy for you to breathe.

“What are you implying?” A further wave of nausea washed over you. He would never do that, would he?

“What about publishing it, darling?” He grinned devilishly. “For everyone to see.”

“No! No Ralph you can't do that! Ralph, please! No!” You begged him quietly and desperately. You panicked and swallowed thickly.

“It's all up to you, darling!” He stood up from his chair again and walked over to where you still stood, shoving his hands into the pockets of his dress trousers. He leaned toward you, rage and injured vanity in his eyes. And there was something else in his eyes. Fear?

“No one, absolutely no one leaves Ralph Belmont. So how dare you? No one screws things up with me! Not even you! Do you understand me, darling?” His voice sounded threatening and his face was so dangerously close to yours that you could feel his breath fanning over your face, his nose nudging almost against yours.

“I give you two options,” and he turned away from you and walked over to the floor-to-ceiling windows.

“Option one: You stay with me and in my agency, everything we just talked about will be forgotten and our little secret stays our secret. Option two…,” he turned around to face you “...you can leave the agency and me but you'll pay for it. A redemption sum so to say. In exchange, I won't publish our secret. Your decision, darling.” He smiled arrogantly.

“I can't and I won't stay with you, Ralph. Sooner or later you'll have to accept that,” you answered. Did he just try to blackmail you?

“It's option two then. Okay, if that's what you want, no problem. 250000 dollars and you're free. You have six months to transfer the money to my bank account with the note ‘Loan Repayment’. I think that's enough time for you to get the money together. Your working contract is dissolved with immediate effect, also you no longer have access to our bank account. Any questions, darling? I just want to make sure that things make sense for you.” The self-satisfied smile that curved his mouth disgusted you.

“What kind of cruel game are you playing here, Ralph? Are you doing this just because it hurts your pride when I leave you? You don't love me, you never really did. You just confirmed it. Let me go. You've got enough competent employees in the agency and there are more than enough women in this city who are waiting for a man like you and who'll throw themselves on you as soon as you're free. Do you think I never noticed that? So many women want a good-looking, filthy-rich man like you to fulfil their every wet and material dream. Now they can have you, I'm not interested anymore. You're not that man anymore I fell in love with. The more money we made the more you changed, and not for the best. You're not the same anymore, I guess the money did go to your head and you still crave for more.”

“What are you implying, hm? That I cheated on you, darling? Why should I, I have you to warm my bed. You should appreciate that,” he said, self-satisfied. “What about you?" He knew that you weren't that kind of girl. You'd never do that.

“Wow, where do I send flowers? Screw you, Ralph. You're such an asshole,” you answered sarcastically and repulsed.

“Ts, ts, ts, this is getting annoying. Be very careful, darling you're skating on thin ice. We both know that you're a little slut, hm?” He said sweetly, sarcasm dripping from his voice. “250000 bucks in six months! Save the date!” He said harshly and quite emphatically.

“Where shall I take the money from? I don't have that much and you know that!” your desperation grew. Why did he treat you like that?

“Not my problem. You decided to leave me. Now you know the consequences it has.” He sat down again, leaned back against the leather chair's backrest and crossed his arms behind his head, his eyes fixed on your shocked face.

“What's this game you're playing? Are you really blackmailing me? And what do you mean by ‘redemption sum’? For what? I always worked for my money. I worked my ass off for it and only for your profit! You never paid your employees properly or gave them any praise for their good work and I agreed to get paid better pocket money, especially in the beginning when we were building up our existence here. I did it for the company, for you and us. I even dropped my studies in London for you so that we could both move here, to New York and start a life because you didn't want to go without me and didn't want to wait a few months more until I finished my degree too. I did it for us because I always thought there was an ‘us’. We were in a relationship, I thought you loved me and I thought it would be forever.”

“Aww, look at you, so desperate now. Darling, not my problem. It was your decision to leave me and don't complain now, you'll have enough time now to study again and finish your exams,” he stated with utter sarcasm. “I invested a lot of money in you, haven't I? You had enough pocket money to spend on expensive, meaningless things and you also spent the money from our bank account. It seems you don't appreciate it enough and the things I did for you. I could've bought so many other nice things with all that money if I hadn't have spent it on you and your fancy clothes, cars, and other stuff. You want to leave me? Then you have to pay for it. Everything in life has its price, darling. And never forget about the dirty little secrets in my safe. One wrong step, one wrong action and I'll publish them all over the city and beyond. I'll ruin you, darling, if I have to. You'll never be able to work in our industry again when I'm done with you and you don't even have to try to hire for a job with our competitors. I'll find out and let them know what kind of woman you are. No one will employ you, I'll make sure of that. Never forget that, darling,” he grinned at you, smugly and viciously.

“You're such a disappointment in every hindsight. I'm glad to get rid of you. Pick up your stuff from your office and the penthouse. I expect you to be gone when I get back home. And don't forget to turn off the lights when you go and leave the keys with the receptionist. And now get out of my office. I've work to do,” and he busied himself with the contract documents again.

"You're such a devilish prick, Ralph Belmont. I can't believe how much I loved you once and that I did everything for you. You were never worth it. Unfortunately, it took me too long to see it. You're less than the dirt under my stilettos which I only ever wore for you because I wanted to look pretty for the man I loved. And it was you who wanted all those meaningless and material things, you dolled me up with all these clothes and shoes… you don't even know what my favourite colour is,” you answered, your voice trembling with disgust and disappointment. Disappointment about him and even more about yourself for not looking through him much earlier.

“Watch your mouth, darling. If I were a slut like you I'd be very careful about provoking me. You don't have any chance against me. Don't forget, you have six months! And now get out of my eyes!”

“Screw you, you bastard,” you spat with quivering lips, turned around and left his office.

***

Loki didn't know what to say after you had finished telling him what had happened to you the day you decided to leave your boyfriend. Tears welled up in his eyes when he saw how deeply hurt you were and how desperate. He kept holding your hands and tried to comfort you as best as he could.

“After that, I cleared my office, drove to our penthouse, packed my bags and left. I slept for some days in my best friend’s house until I found this apartment to rent. An apartment I can't afford much longer.” Tears began to run down your cheeks.

“So you became an escort lady to earn money for a living because you can't work in your business anymore,” Loki said and wiped your tears away.

“Yes, I contemplated a lot about what job I could do outside the marketing business and shortly after I stumbled over Rhea's escort agency. I found out that working as an escort was the fastest way to earn a lot of money in a short time… and it's still not fast enough or enough money at all. I changed my looks for the evenings when I was escorting gentlemen to functions and named myself Candy. Ralph's former arm candy, perfect in wearing high heels and fancy clothes and already a slut according to Ralph's opinion about me, had found her new job as an escort lady. Unfortunately, I was rapidly forced into getting a call girl because not only has my rent increased, the rent I pay for my mother's nursery home has increased as well.”

“Your mother lives in a nursery home? What happened to her, sweets?” Loki wanted to know, seemingly full of concern and compassion. “It's the woman in the pictures, right?”

“Yes, it's her, my beloved mum. She had a stroke some time ago and has been in a wheelchair since then. She needs professional help and care and so I looked for the best nursery home for her. My father died years ago and I'm an only child, I'm all she has. Ralph always thought I'd spent my money for whatever unnecessary things but I didn't. I paid for my mother's health care and I also spared a part of my money and now this saved money saves my life. But it's getting less and it has never been that much to buy my freedom from Ralph.

It wasn't easy for me to tell Rhea that circumstances are forcing me to work as a callgirl now too. The sheer thought of sleeping with strangers for money scared me. I don't know if you believe me but there was only ever you who I could imagine having sex with. I could never have done it with anyone else. And I still regret faking my orgasm when we fucked for the first time. It wasn't because I wanted to fool you, it was because I didn't want to feel that good. You felt so good, Loki and you were so tender and caring and I wasn't used to being treated like that and being treated so lovingly, especially not from a stranger. I was afraid of catching feelings for you and I couldn't allow it. It would've broken my rules to never develop feelings for a client or to ever fall in love again. But I failed, I began to feel more for you than I should and I broke my rules but I don't regret it,” you smiled at him but you couldn't stop your tears from falling. Loki looked lovingly at you and squeezed your hands to reassure you that he believed you and that he was there for you no matter what.

“What did he mean by the ‘dirty little secret’ in his safe? With what is he blackmailing you, sweets?” Loki asked his voice calm and soothingly. You hesitated to tell him. You were so ashamed of what you had agreed to do with and for Ralph and you were afraid that Loki wouldn't want you anymore when he finally got to know the truth. He felt your insecurity and anxiety to tell him everything and it broke his heart how much your hands were trembling in his. He just wished you would finally open up to him completely so he could finally help you in the way you needed him to help you. You just feared he would never talk to you again or find you disgusting.

“He's blackmailing me with…,” you felt like you had to puke and you took a deep breath before you continued. “He's blackmailing me with nude pics and… a sex tape.” Your tear-filled eyes looked into Loki's, trying to find out what he was thinking about you, now that he knew what whorish things you had done. But Loki said nothing so you continued telling him the details while tears kept running down your cheeks.

“He took the pictures of me and filmed us during sex some time ago when we were madly in love… or that was what I thought we were. On my part, I definitely was in love with him. I was so naive… but I trusted him and so I agreed to it. I was so dumb, I should never have allowed him to take these pictures or make this private porn.”

“You're not dumb, sweets. You were in love and what is love when you can't trust your partner? Unfortunately, he didn't love you enough but you couldn't know that,” he tried to comfort you despite knowing there was no real consolation right now. “So he filmed you. What about him in this tape?”

“Yes, he did, you can see how I get fucked by him in several ways but… his face is never visible and I'm not sure anymore if he did it on purpose back then for whatever reason or really just for himself or ourselves. He got me on the dangle and I'm at his mercy.” A desperate sob escaped your throat and your gaze wandered through your small apartment. “I don't know what to do, Loki. I don't have that money and time is slipping through my hands. In a few days, it's payday and if I don't pay he'll publish it.”

The panic in your gut grew immediately. Loki felt bad for you. He had no problems with any form of sex or kinks but he couldn't handle that this asshole took advantage of you, your abilities and your body in every way possible all over those years and now turned your trust and the love you once had for Ralph against you. You loosened your hands from Loki's, shifted on the sofa and sat back against the sofa's backrest. You pulled your knees close to your chest, wrapped your arms around them and stared into the void. You didn't want to be afraid, you wanted to be happy and free again. You wanted to live without so much fear.

Loki felt the rage in his gut rising and getting stronger. The sight of you curled up on the couch and your knees drawn to your chest, your face pale and your eyes teary, didn't help to get rid of this feeling. You, his precious girl, didn't deserve to be treated like this.

“Maybe I should sell one of my kidneys or rob a bank to be able to pay him,” you said, laughing and irony scurrying over your face.

There was it again, your never dying, beautiful laughter, your untamed will to feel alive and be happy no matter how big the pain is. Loki adored you for this and he couldn't help but join you in your laughter and sarcasm for a moment.

“I got everything you told me so far, sweets but what did he mean with ‘redemption sum’? I still don't get this part,” Loki questioned curiously and frowned.

“He wants to make me pay back for everything he ever invested in me, I guess. Everything belongs to him, Loki. The money, the cars, the penthouse, the house in the Hamptons, he bought my designer clothes and evening gowns and dolled me up to his liking to parade me around. He paid for everything we did together like luxury holidays for example. He always said it's our common wealth and we both should enjoy it. I helped him to get this rich and I also helped him to reach all the goals he wanted to reach. But everything happened in his name for his company. I think, at some point, I wasn't my own person anymore. I did most of the work together with his other employees, and the more money he earned the less I mattered to him… and my love for him slowly faded away. He didn't even recognise that. Tells a lot about his character, I guess. That he now behaves how he behaves is most likely because I crushed his pride by leaving him and that he's blackmailing me is possibly the only way for him to hold power over me and to keep me in his company. I'm sure he knows very well how much he owes me. It's a cruel game he's playing with me and it doesn't make any sense to me. Most of all I despise my own stupidity in not refusing that damn photoshoot…and allowing him to film us having sex was the biggest mistake I've ever made. I don't understand why I agreed to make a private porn video. I'm so disgusted by myself.”

The embarrassment made your eyes welling up with tears again and you angrily wiped them away with your palms. You couldn't turn back the time or the decisions you made and there was just one way now: grin and bear it and get everything sorted out. Self-pitying wasn't helpful at this point.

“I never wanted all this mass of luxury, you know. Of course, I like nice things and going shopping for fancy stuff. But I don't crave it, I don't need all those fancy clothes and shoes or jewellery, holidays in expensive hotels and their overpriced presidential suites, or fancy six-course menus. He wanted all of this and put me in those clothes and pretty places. A small cosy cottage at a beach, a glass of wine on the porch, casual food at a beach bar, swimming in the ocean and my bare feet in the sand, dancing in the moonlight and having sex on the beach… that was what I wanted to do but he never listened to me or fulfilled these little dreams of mine. He always wanted it his way and I agreed because I loved him and was afraid to lose him. All I ever wanted was to live and to love someone and I wanna be loved by a man whose feelings for me are sincere and genuine. I wanna feel safe…and I want to give all of those feelings to someone who deserves all of this as much as I do. A normal, healthy life and a normal, healthy relationship. To always say yes to everything and to sacrifice myself and my wishes for someone else's success wasn't healthy, always playing the supportive role instead of the main role…that was far away from having an equal and healthy relationship. When there's one thing I've learned then it's that I have to love myself too and that I have a right to get my dreams fulfilled as well and that was the reason why I finally broke up with Ralph and the break-up brought me in this fucked up situation. I still don't know what is hurting me more. The fact that Ralph is blackmailing me or that he never truly loved me. I was just a means to an end. Maybe I should laugh about him. He's a weakling, a douchebag, unable to put something on his own, humanly a total loser and in general a loser in life too. He never cared about me or was overly interested in my life or cared about my mum. He only ever cared about money. I thought I'd spend the rest of my life with him, Loki, I thought it would be forever until I found out how he really is, how evil and devilish. He's a failure, a failure in a pinstripe suit. And now he wants to punish me for leaving him and spending ‘his’ money. He wants to ruin me and make me believe that I was the one who took advantage of him and lived at his expense.”

“But you worked for it, sweets. You worked harder for it than him. He has no right to demand and reclaim anything from you.”

“Yeah, you're right but there's nothing I can do about that. And it still feels like there's more about it, that I only know half of the truth about him. I'm sure there's more about it that he demands so much money from me.”

“Why didn't you report him, sweets?”

“He has connections everywhere, Loki. From the Police department to the best lawyers, he knows a lot of people with a lot of influence and he has all the money to pay them all well and buy himself free from criminal offenses. I wouldn't have a hint of a chance.”

“Why did you stay with him that long?”

“I don't know. Maybe because I didn't want to give up on my hopes that we could still have a future together. Maybe because we were too used to each other and clinging too much to old habits. Maybe it was the refusal to accept that our love had died at some point in time. Maybe I was afraid of being alone. I don't know. The only thing I know is that I didn't stay with him because of the money and the privileged lifestyle. The things I wanted weren't material. What I always missed over the years was the love and the adoration for each other. The richer he got the more heartless he became. The lack of love and care was the worst. And it took me too long to see it.” You began quietly sobbing and crying, every dam inside of you broke.

“Now you know my truth and I hope you understand now why I wanted to keep you out of this and left you that night. I told you that the real me has nothing to do with the pretty, carefree and sexy Sugar, my alter ego, the fake personality you fell in love with. I never intended to hurt you, Loki. I know I did and I'm so sorry for that. I totally understand if you want to go now because you deserve a better woman than me whose life is fucked up and whose sex life might be published all over the country in a few days.”

“You should know that I won't leave you alone, no matter what happens. Do you still not believe me that I'm in love with you? I don't care about what you did and why, you had no other choice and who am I to judge you? You still wanted me to stay despite what I did in the past. And you definitely didn't do anything wrong. I'll stay, I won't go.” Loki could deal with a lot of things. Hate, rejection, wrath, rudeness but not with you, his precious girl, sitting on your sofa blaming everything that had happened on you and crying a river because of that damn prick Ralph.

“Come here, sweets,” and he pulled you into his lap cradling you tight. He rubbed your back gently and you leaned against him, your head resting in the crook of his neck.

“I always knew that there's a wonderful, lovable and sweet person behind the mask named Sugar. I saw so many hints of it whenever we met and I'm glad that I have found this amazing woman. Have you any idea how strong you are? I promise you we'll figure out how to bring him down and we'll figure it out together.”

“Can you please hold me for a while? I need to be held by you, Loki,” and you began to cry again.

“Of course, as long as you want me to, sweets,” Loki kissed you softly on the forehead, rocked you slowly back and forth and just held you tightly until you felt better and had no more tears inside of you to shed.

“Please, sweets take my money and pay him and then…” he began to talk again.

“No, Loki, I won't do that,” you interrupted him quietly.

“Y/n please don't let us have this discussion again…” He begged you nicely.

“No, please don't get me wrong, Loki. It's not that I wouldn't take your money to pay him, which is extremely nice and generous of you. No, it's because I think he won't stop blackmailing me if I give him the money he demands from me. I'm pretty sure he won't stop blackmailing me because if he gets the money from me he might think I'm capable of paying more and that I can do it again and again. Believe me, he is that type of guy. He never gets enough, he's insatiable. I need to find another way. I'm afraid I need to talk to him again. Maybe… maybe I should… offer him to… to sleep with me one more time, maybe then he lets me go.” The thought made you shiver in disgust.

“This will never happen! He will never ever touch you again, y/n!” Loki said firmly and sternly. He carefully grabbed you by your shoulders and looked deeply into your teary eyes. “You're under my protection and I will never allow or accept this! Please, don't do this to me,” he told you desperately.

“I'm sorry, Loki, I'm so sorry, I won't do it, I promise but I really don't know what else to do…,” and you hugged him tightly. He wrapped his arms around your middle and pulled you closer to him.

“I'll find a way to stop him. I promise with all of my heart and soul, I'll stop him,” he cooed and buried his face in your hair. You were his, only his and he would protect you at all costs, always.

Out of nowhere your stomach growled and it made you both chuckle.

“It seems my queen is hungry and needs to get fed,” Loki answered and smiled at you.

“Your queen?” you asked him surprised and you were definitely hungry. No matter how big your problems were, you would never refuse to eat.

“Oh, right I forgot where you come from, I'm sorry Loki,” you continued genuinely and kissed his mouth tenderly.

“Yes, you're my queen, sweet thing and I can't have you starving. I have a suggestion. I'm doing groceries for some food and I cook something for us and you can clean up your apartment a bit. Then we eat and after lunch, you can finish your today's work and we spend the rest of the evening together… and the night if you want. What do you think, sweets? Would you like that?” Loki grinned from ear to ear, very proud of his irresistible proposal.

“You can cook?” you asked astonished. This man was just full of surprises and really cared about your well-being. And of course, you wanted him to stay.

“Yes, I can. I had a lot of time here to learn it,” Loki confirmed.

“Wow, you're really talented. You're amazing and I'm truly blessed with a man like you. Yeah, that's a really good plan. Thank you, Loki,” and you kissed him again. You could do this all day long and stay wrapped around him 24/7.

A knock at your entrance door interrupted your making out and you let go of each other's lips.

“Do you expect someone?" Loki asked and looked quizzically at you.

“No, I don't expect anyone,” and you got off of his lap. You took a sweatpants on and headed for the door to open it.

“Hello y/n, I'm very sorry for disturbing you but…”

“Walker!” and you hugged that rock of a man with genuine thankfulness. Your stormy embrace took him off guard and he shyly reciprocated your hug.

“You're not mad at me?” He asked you insecurely. You let go of him and looked at him.

“How could I be mad at you? You helped my man to find me and brought him back to me. And I'm so grateful for it, Walker. Thank you, thank you for your help, you risked a lot for us,” you told him and gave him an amicable kiss on his cheek. Walker was taken aback by it, he never expected this adorable behaviour of yours and he slightly blushed but he always knew what a wonderful person you were so he wasn't really surprised. You were lovely and that's why he always cared that much about you.

“Will you tell Rhea?” He wanted to know.

“No, Walker, I won't tell her. If she should find it out by herself I won't lie to her, she always has been good to me and so have you. I would explain to her why you did it and I would fight for you. You won't lose your job, I promise,” you reassured him. Loki appeared behind you and wrapped one arm around your waist, placed his hand on your stomach, kissed your cheek and looked at Walker, smiling.

“Thank you, y/n, I appreciate it. You have a heart of gold. Is everything okay so far?” Walker looked smilingly at both of you and Loki pulled you closer to his body, his chin leaning at your temple.

“Yes!” You both answered simultaneously and smiled brightly at Walker and he told you he was glad to hear that. He could see how happy you two were despite knowing that you were still in some kind of danger he didn't know anything about.

“Could you do me a favour, Walker?” Loki asked him.

“Of course, Sir.”

“Could you please drive me to a grocery store, I'd like to buy some foodstuff, this beautiful lady here in my arms is starving and I can't have that. I just get fully dressed and then we can drive off.”

“No problem, Sir, I wait by the car for you,”

“Thanks, Walker. Give me five minutes,” Loki said. Walker nodded once and smiled at you, turned on his heels and left. He could go with a good conscience and to see you so lucky in all your misery and together with the man you visibly loved was worth it to risk his job.

Loki got dressed and kissed you goodbye.

“You come back to me, right?”

“Of course, I will come back to you, sweets.” He held your head in his big hands, his thumb pads gently rubbing over the soft skin of your cheeks, and kissed the tip of your nose.

“Will you open the door for me when I'm back from doing the groceries, my precious girl?” He asked you softly. You took his hands gently from your face and walked over to your dresser to take something out of a small wooden bowl.

“You can let yourself in, handsome. Can't wait to have you back,” you said quietly, kissed him shortly but passionately and gave him your keychain with the key to your apartment. Loki smiled at you, astonished that you gave him your keys without hesitating.

“I'll be back soon, sweets,” he answered, gave you a further quick, loving kiss and left.

When Loki came back you had put things in order in your apartment, your table wasn't a complete disaster anymore and it would be much easier for you to get back to work later. He immediately began to prepare the ingredients he needed for cooking a tasty meal for you. You two decided to eat at the kitchen counter and you prepared two places with cutlery and napkins. Loki forbid you to do more than this. He wanted you to take some rest and he also wanted to spoil you with his cooking skills and his care. You couldn't do anything about it, so you obeyed and just watched him stirring in a pot and frying fish in a pan. It smelled delicious and Loki cooking in your small kitchen was a sight to behold. A literal demi-god, devastatingly beautiful and sexy in his tightfitting t-shirt, was cooking in your kitchen, and he did it for you.

You were on the edge of crying again. His ways to show you his love and affection were adorable and you were still convinced that you didn't deserve it. You rounded the kitchen counter and hugged him from behind, shoving your hands under his t-shirt and letting your fingertips trail over his defined abs in lazy circles up to his pecs to caress his chest hair. You couldn't resist touching him. You needed to reassure yourself that he was real and that you weren't daydreaming.

“Don't you dare distract me, sweet thing,” he groaned jokingly.

“I'm hungry,” you whined and pressed a firm kiss between his clothed shoulder blades.

“I know, sweets and it seems you want the dessert before the main course,” he teased you and turned around to face and hug you. Your hands were still under his shirt and caressed now the firm muscles of his back.

“The best comes last,” you teased him back and bit lightly into your lower lip. You felt the muscles of his thighs and his crotch tightly pressed against your lower parts and you let your hands trailing down to his butt, squeezing it and pressing him even closer to you.

“I think you have to be patient, sweet thing. Before you'll get your special dessert I have a sweet little surprise for you,” he said to increase your anticipation. It was just now that he realized that you had touched his bare skin again without his permission. Why did it feel that good, dangerously good? Your warm hands on his body lit a fire in him again and he wanted it to burn forever. Your hands on him were dangerous but one of the best feelings he ever felt.

“Can't wait for it,” you mumbled, tilted your head, and latched your lips onto his. You would never get enough of this man's soft lips and his delicious taste. If only you knew what it was that made his kisses that tasty.

“We can eat now, sweets. Take a seat, I will serve you the food,” and he let go of your mouth and body and prepared two dishes with the freshly cooked food.

“Et voilà, freshly fried salmon on a bed of spicy spinach leaves and some rice as a side dish with a light herbal sauce. Enjoy your meal, my love,” and Loki placed your dish with an elegant movement in front of you. Did he just call you ‘my love’? Never before had a man called you like this and you never felt so loved by a man. And it felt so normal like you two were in a serious relationship but maybe it went way too fast and way too easy.

“Thank you so much, Loki. It looks gorgeous,” and you dipped your fork into the fish and the spinach and shoved it into your mouth. The wonderful taste of it on your tongue made you moan almost indecently and your reaction made Loki smile. He loved how sensually you enjoyed food.

“It's delicious, I love it. It's the best dish I've eaten in two weeks.”

“I'm happy you like it, sweets,” Loki responded and he also started eating. You didn't talk much during your lunch, you just enjoyed each other's company. Loki's little surprise for you was a chocolate mousse with fresh strawberries and he couldn't resist feeding you this sweet treat, well knowing that you would never deny a good dessert.

In the afternoon you continued writing your thesis and Loki sat on your sofa, reading one of the books he had taken from your bookshelf. He didn't disturb you, he was just there and his sheer presence filled you with calmness and security. It was balm to your soul in all the stress and anxiety you were suffering these days. In the evening you watched a movie together but you didn't follow the plot because you soon ended up heavily making out and Loki carried you to your bedroom, his lips never leaving yours. You two hurriedly took your clothes off and continued kissing and touching each other's bare skin. You did it slowly and gently and you weren't in a hurry anymore as soon as you were cuddling under the sheets. All the touches made Loki's cock twitch and you felt the wetness between your thighs becoming more with every passionate kiss he gave you.

“Mark me, Loki. I want everyone to know that I belong to someone, that I belong to you,” you whispered to his ear and continued kissing him and playing with his curls.

“Are you sure, sweets? I don't want to bruise your perfect skin. You're too precious to me,” he answered softly and brushed your hair tenderly out of your face.

“Yes, I want it, I want you to mark me as yours,” you asked him.

He gave you a soft, passionate kiss first before his lips travelled further down to your throat and the most sensitive spot under your ear. He placed a tender kiss right to your pulse point before he sucked and nibbled that erotic zone of yours until he saw a violet mark appearing on your skin. He licked gently over the bruise and blew some air over it to soothe the sweet pain he had caused. All the moans you made and the way you were writhing underneath him while he was kissing you had already made him harden and you felt him rolling his hips against your thigh. Then he was on top of you, pressing his engorged cock against your thigh and moistening it with pre-cum. Your hard nipples rubbed against his chest with his every movement and it made him moan and tremble because it felt so good on his skin. Your hands were roaming all over his body and caressing him. He never wanted to miss this feeling ever again. He felt you shifting beneath him and opening your legs for him. He rolled his hips against yours and with his shaft he rubbed over your inner labia and your clit. Your soft moans and your tight grip on his back and his nape caused goosebumps on his heated skin. The tip of his cock teased your entrance and when he was about to slide in you tenderly stopped him.

“Don't you want to blindfold me? If you want you can tie up my wrists too,” you trusted him enough to allow him to do it and to surrender to him.

“No, I want you to touch me. Touch me here,” and he gently took your hand and placed it to his sternum where his heart was beating hurriedly. “Make me feel I'm breathing, I'm living, make me feel worthy of your touch, worthy of your love. I want you to look at me and I want to look into your eyes when you cum, sweets.” In his eyes, you saw he was serious and he truly wanted it.

“So whenever you blindfolded me, you did it not just for the kink. You wanted to hide from me. I didn't imagine the blue shimmer under your skin, right? It has something to do with you being a Jotun,” you concluded, tenderly running a thumb over his cheek.

“You didn't imagine it, I'm sorry that I told you otherwise. I was scared and I didn't want to scare you off. When I have strong feelings for the woman I mate with, I may lose control and can't keep up the appearance you're used to. And being touched by your hands just adds to the sensation. And also my skin feels different then. These are the reasons why I didn't want you to touch me.” Loki was afraid you would demand him to stop and get off of you immediately but you didn't.

“You don't scare me off, you never could,” you whispered and pulled him down to kiss him ardently. “Go on, Loki, I need you,” you pleaded him sweetly.

“Sure?”

“Absolutely sure,” and he slid himself inside you until he was completely seated inside of you.

His strokes were deep and slow and he made the sweetest love to you. He was so tender and careful, with utter gentleness he caressed and kissed every part of your body he was able to reach in this position.

“I love you so much, I don't want to live without you anymore. Please, never run away again, sweets,” he asked you between his lingering kisses.

“You're my everything, Loki. I missed you so bad, I'm so glad to have you back, that you haven't given up on me. I will never run away from you again,” you murmured and you scratched lightly with your fingernails over the soft skin of his muscled back. You gave featherlight kisses to his cheeks and his forehead. His skin was glistening with a thin layer of sweat and your touches made him shiver. His strokes got sloppier and his moans more intense. You felt how close he was but he still held back. He could tell you wouldn't cum yet, together with him. He looked at you with asking eyes, unsure if he should go on or take care of your pleasure first. You sensed his hesitation but you gave him a reassuring glance to continue.

“I'm okay, don't worry. It feels good, don't stop. Come for me, Loki. Come undone for me, my precious boy, I have you,” you whispered against his lips and his speed increased. He groaned silently, his hips drawing back and pushed forward again, his throbbing cock thrusting deep into your pulsating cunt. You weren't on the brink of climaxing yet but it didn't matter. You enjoyed the intimacy and how close he was to you, how soft his skin felt under your fingertips, and how passionately he gave himself to you. There wasn't any pressure for you to orgasm and whoever told you to make love in missionary pose is boring was a liar. Nothing felt better or more intimate and intense. You definitely enjoyed it.

“Let go, my love, fill me with your cum, make me happy, let me feel you” and you trailed your fingers gently up from his lower back to his shoulders and his biceps. When you felt his whole body tighten and his moans getting more desperate, you spread your legs wider and grabbed his ass cheeks and squeezed them firmly. You knew he was about to cum. “That's it, you're allowed to cum Loki, give it all to me. Don't hide, you can show me who you are,” you murmured, kissing and caressing his throat and his face with your lips and tightening your grip on his butt.

“Oh fuck…,” and with your name on his lips he came, violently and delightfully moaning, feeling your cunt clenching around his sensitive tip and when you felt him releasing his warm seed into you you came too, silently, calmly, intensely, bathing in the sweet feeling of being loved and craved. You kissed each other passionately, intensifying the orgasmic bliss. You locked your legs around his waist because you knew how much he liked that and also you were not yet willing to let him go. You loved this feeling of his still throbbing cock inside of you. His kiss burned torturously sweet on your lips and you could barely stand the feeling of the weight of his body on top of yours and you really had underestimated how much you needed this, how much you needed him.

Loki broke the kiss and rested his forehead against yours, trying to catch his breath. You both didn't say anything, you just looked at each other and enjoyed this feeling of satisfied lust and love. You caressed Loki's scalp and scratched his nape tenderly, watching the hint of the blue colour under his skin and the red shimmer in his eyes slowly fading away. Loki gently caressed your cheeks and kissed the tip of your nose tenderly.

“Are you alright, sweet thing?” he murmured, softly pressing a further tender kiss to the tip of your nose. Instead of an answer he felt your legs clenching more firmly around his hips and your deep purr of contentment made him feel safe and wanted.

“I really didn't scare you? I…I couldn't show it to you completely yet, I'm still too used to hiding it. I think I need some time to understand that you would accept me nonetheless,” Loki mumbled shyly.

“Take all the time you need. You decide when it feels right for you and then you can show me your ethereal beauty,” Loki kissed you tenderly and thankfully and couldn't believe that you were so understanding in every respect.

“I wished we had met under different circumstances,” you whispered while you gave him several pecks on his lips, some sadness in your voice.

“Honestly, I'm pretty sure we did,” Loki said, convinced and moved his body from yours to lay on his side. You rolled to your side too so you could face him and propped up on one elbow, your head resting on your palm.

“What do you mean?”

“Do you remember the day when we first met at Vivian's Velvet? Rain was pouring down that day. I had just called Rhea, made an appointment with an escort lady, which was you, and was on my way home when a hooded woman bumped into me.”

“This is nothing unusual in Manhattan.”

“It's not, you're right. I couldn't see her face but I remember the shoes she was wearing…dark-green trainers like yours. It's my favourite colour and that's why the trainers caught my eye,” Loki continued and you frowned and looked quizzically at him.

“You mean, we could've had a meet-cute, flirting, dating and all that lovely kitschy stuff others have when meeting accidentally somewhere? Because… I remember I was in a hurry to Rhea's agency and I bumped into someone with an umbrella… it was…”

“... me, the man with the umbrella. And I'm sure I saw you a second time, in the hallway of the hotel after our first night, when I lost my scarf. I went back to the hotel suite to look for it and a woman walked past me. I greeted her but she didn't answer. She was busy looking for something in her bag and I couldn't see her face, it was hidden behind her hair. And she was wearing dark-green trainers, the same again as yours.” You swallowed thickly, you clearly remembered that night.

“Yeah, I remember. I was looking for my biscuits in my bag because I was a bit hungry and… I didn't answer because I had my earplugs in and was listening to music, I didn't even recognise walking past someone.

“And there was a third time. In Central Park, one sunny afternoon I was sitting on a bench and reading a book. When I randomly looked up, two women passed by, I just saw them from behind, one of them talking nonstop to the other woman… and this woman…”

“...wore the same dark-green trainers like mine?” You completed his sentence. “I'm sure it was me and my friend Gabby, we met one afternoon in Central Park and on our way home she talked a lot,” you laughed and you couldn't believe how many chances there had been to meet Loki in the streets and he couldn't believe it either.

“Besides I don't know what I would have done, it's amazing how many times we ran into each other, how close we had been to each other without knowing it,” you realized.

“But it wasn't meant to be for us. Our way is a different one, more complicated but we'll go this way together. I'm sure everything should exactly happen the way it happened. At least it doesn't matter. We're together now and that's the only thing important to me. Come here, sweets,” and Loki pulled you into his arms and hugged you tightly.

“You're right, and I'm just happy to have you here. Thank you for being here and holding me.” You enjoyed his proximity for a moment before you continued to speak.

“Loki, I'm not sure if I'm ready for a new relationship yet. It terrifies me. I might need some time to get over my bad experience and I hope you understand that it's not easy for me to love someone again.”

“Your scars need time to heal, sweets and I'll give you all the time you need. I also know it's not easy to love me. I'm an otherworldly creature with a dubious past and how could I expect an angel like you to love a sinner like me that easily.”

“You stop saying that right away, okay? That's not the reason. You're wonderful! A loveable, attentive and sensual man, you're everything a woman can dream of… everything I'm dreaming of. It's me, Loki. My life is so fucked up, and you deserve better, a better woman than me…I really wish we would've met under different circumstances… the girl in the rain…”

“...bumping into the man with the umbrella…Now you stop saying that right away, sweets. You're gorgeous, and you are the one for me and I say it again, I'll give you all the time you need,” and he tightened his grip on you, kissing you softly.

“Loki, I would've slept with you without taking money from you because I never really wanted you to pay for me. I just want to be yours and yours only,” you whispered tiredly and snuggled up closer to him.

“And I would've paid any price for you just to be with you and to make sure that no other man touches and hurts what is mine,” he answered quietly with his wonderful velvety voice.

To the sound of his heartbeat, you fell asleep on his chest, protected by his strong arms which were still firmly wrapped around you as if he were afraid you could be gone when he woke up in the morning.

“I'll do this one thing for you and make sure that this son of a bitch will never hurt you again,” Loki whispered into the darkness of your bedroom and placed a tender kiss on your forehead. But you didn't hear him because you were already sleeping and with you closely snuggled up to him he closed his eyes and fell asleep too.

The next morning when you woke up the place in your bed next to you was cold and empty. For a moment you thought he was gone and you suddenly understand how he must've felt when he woke up that morning without you. It was a horrible feeling. But then you heard some noises from the main room of your apartment. You got off the bed and walked over to where the sounds came from. There was Loki, nearly fully dressed already and about to leave.

“What are you doing?” you asked him surprised.

“Hey, good morning, my sweet thing. You're awake. I didn't want to wake you up. I just need to do something before we have breakfast. I'll be back soon, my love. Take your time and enjoy a hot shower until I'm back. I won't take long, I promise,” he explained to you. Something seemed a bit off but you couldn't explain what it was.

“See you later, my sweet girl and I'll prepare a wonderful breakfast for you when I'm back,” and he kissed you passionately goodbye. There was something very erotic about him being fully dressed and you still being naked. You found it irresistibly indecent and arousing.

“Sounds very promising, handsome. I'll be waiting for you to come back soon,” you told him softly.

You smiled brightly after he had closed the door and you took a mug from the cupboard to make you a coffee. You couldn't wait to have him back soon though he had just left but you already missed him. You thought about yesterday and last night, about how Loki had been there for you and listened to you and about your adoration and blooming love for Loki when it suddenly hit you like a rock.

‘You're a fallen angel, someone has broken your wings and if I ever find this cruel prick who hurt you so much, I'll kill him’

‘Don't make any promises you'll never keep, Luke’

‘I'll find a way to stop him. I promise with all of my heart and soul, I'll stop him ‘

“Oh my god Loki, no… no nono no… Don't do this…no…” you panicked and nearly dropped your coffee mug. You suddenly knew what it was he needed to do before breakfast. He surely was on his way to pay a visit to Ralph. He was willing to risk his freedom for you, willing to help you, no matter what it might mean to him or the consequences it could have for him. Never before have you got showered and dressed that quickly. Hopefully, it wasn't too late to keep him from falling into calamity.

Last night before he fell asleep with you nestled in his arms, sleeping peacefully, he knew what he had to do. He remembered who he was and what he was capable of. He was a prince, a king, a fighter and still the god of mischief and trickery.

He was willing to write a new story for you and hopefully, he would be a part of it too in one way or another. He was on his way to fight for your honour and freeing you from Ralph and nothing could stop him from doing it.

🌹🥂🥃🌃🌹🥂🥃🌃❤️🌹🥂🥃🌃🌹🥂🥃🌃

@faesimps @gruftiela @lokisprettygirl @anukulee @fandxmslxt69 @foxherder @depressedpolishgirl @buttercupcookies-blog @chantsdemarins @fictive-sl0th @justjoanne242 @km-ffluv @stupidthoughtsinwriting @lovingchoices @wheredafandomat @lokixryss @huntress-artemiss @smolvenger

#loki #loki x female reader #loki x reader #loki x you #loki x reader fluff #loki laufeyson #loki x reader fic #loki x reader angst #loki x reader smut #loki x fem!reader smut #jotun loki x female reader #loki x female reader smut #loki x female reader angst #loki x female reader fluff #loki x fem!reader #loki x female reader au #Spotify

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fizzywashere87 · 24 hours

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i might have to delete my account

so recently there's been tensions between myself and @amorisbackandbetterthanever

i'm not tagging her so you won't send her hate- i'm not like that (this is a joke btw)

i think sometimes people get annoyed when you try to express your deepest love and feelings towards them

i personally go out of my way to stalk this bitch amazing soul on tumblr to let her know she's found- how do i get repaid for this selfless act?

well some people

( @amorisbackandbetterthanever )

find it necessary to go to extreme measures and block me!!

if you vote no, your giving all your human rights to @amorisbackandbetterthanever

doing this will give her control of what time you go to the bathroom, inhale, exhale, eat, drink, sleep, shower, and even if you paint your pinky toe nail. you don't want that. i'm telling you.

if you vote yes, you'll find i will not bother you anymore, your rights are protected, and my account stays!! yayyy (i won't actually delete my account) voting yes also shows that you care about your self worth, you want those rights, you want people like @amorisbackandbetterthanever to understand what actual love is.

after all, this only happens when someone ( @amorisbackandbetterthanever ) doesn't understand what love for your friends are.

@amorisbackandbetterthanever we are on your side, in the endgame, we're only looking out for your best interest.

if no wins over, i'll have to delete my account, my life savings, and i will run and never come back! you don't know what could happen to me in the wilderness, do i even know how to tie my own shoelaces? i'm not confident.

we can express our love for @amorisbackandbetterthanever is other ways than taking away your rights.

hell, we can all start stalking her on tumblr and letting her know she's found! 🥰

remember, i'm only on your side and trying to help.

this is Fizzy, out.

(i found u @amorisbackandbetterthanever )

#fizzytried #amor-an-her-mf-klondike-bar!#notfizzy #were only trying to help!#dumbass #this is silly and a joke #sending love ❤️#i love my mutuals #i found u @amorisbackandbetterthanever

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ronanlynchbf · 8 months

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hell day today and i'm only two hours into my EIGHT HOUR SHIFT

#9 to 5 by dolly parton starts playing in the background..#literally had to open up shop alone 2day and also was entirely alone for the first 45 min. of my shift so that was already a negative start #to the day + i heard that i can't have my break later than two thirty which is very bad for me bc 1) there'll be a lot of ppl all around me #when i'm eating which i already dislike and 2) like 85% of ppl taking their break around that time are VERY noisy eaters so even worse and #then 3) it'll be really loud in the room as well bc everyone's talking loudly and eating and the cutlery's clanging against plates and such #and also some ppl have actual full-blown arguments with each other in the break room bc half the ppl here hate each other's guts so more #negatives to the day and then on top of that we've had sooooo many annoying customers already today who r just. intent on making u stressed #out and upset and literally will tell u to your face to 'do your job better' like bro...i can easily tell you haven't worked in retail....#also someone hung their clothes on the rack outside the fitting rooms which is where u hang ur clothes when you're DONE fitting them & don'#want them bc they don't fit or don't sit right or u just don't rlly like them after all so if clothes are hanging there we the ppl working #there WILL take them and hang them back in their original places what did u expect to happen?? anyway someone hung the clothes they had #tried on already and did want there and i reached out to take them bc like. that's what we do here..we hang the clothes on the 'discard #rack' back in the store bc else the rack gets stuffed and the woman literally grabbed my arm and said 'those are mine what do u think you'r #doing' LIKE?????? GIRL THE RACK'S THERE FOR A REASONNNN ofc i'm going to assume u don't want them anymore if they're hanging there that's #why it's called the DISCARD rack....also how am i to know those specific clothes are yours HONESTLYYYYYY STFU AND GET OFF ME #ALSO some dude was like (to his child but like. looking at me while he said it.) 'this guy needs a haircut doesn't he' bc my hair is kinda #long and apparently i passed today. LIKE 1st of all kind of a rude thing to say to a stranger innit 2nd of all setting a great example to #your child there just casually commenting on other ppl's looks like that👍 3rd of all jokes on you you wouldn't consider me a guy if #you Knew most likely. thanks for that little zing of glee much obliged <3 but also man just piss off will you. 4th of all my hair isn't eve #that long....like the ends of it are just shy of my shoulders wdym LONG if u knew the long-haired guys i know you'd faint.#anyway. great start of the day. i still have six more hours to go 🥴#ALSO no surprise this always happens but my legs already hurt SOOOOOOOO BADDDDDD :(((((((((((#r.txt

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chirpsythismorning · 6 months

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📝 💐 🛼 💔⏪️💭🧊🌄❤️‍🩹

Will You Still Love Me Tomorrow by The Shirelles

previous ⏪ now playing ⏩ next back to playlist

#stranger things #bizarre love triangle playlist #el hopper #el's pov #this is the first song for el in the playlist #also probably the most optimistically romantic song for el in the playlist 😭#this is because these are el's feelings in the day before their reunion aka before everything sort of went to shit (mike's words not mine)#and yet while it is hopefully romantic #every romantic build up leads to a 'but--'#the whole point of the song is this feeling of uncertainty that this love she's filling is doomed not to last last #'tonight you're mine completely. you give your love so sweetly. tonight the light of love is in your eyes. but will you love me tomorrow?'#despite this love existing right now in a way that feels tangible. sometime as soon as tomorrow that love is suddenly at risk #and it's sad bc we know that deep down el is having doubts seeing as mike is incapable of simply writing love in his letters #it's just especially sad in her case bc she thinks she is responsible for it ie. 'you don't love me anymore?'#up to this point she has had reason to assume that mike loves her bc of what she overheard mike saying to the others in the cabin #but something isn't right and she's resorted to lying to try to keep mike's affections #right now she can feel some comfort in the fact that she has all these letters/pictures from him displayed in the mike shrine in her room #and yet...#'i'd like to know that your love is love i can be sure of. so tell me now and i wont ask again. will you still love me tomorrow?'#dead ass sounds like a very very valid threat as el's doubts were very much founded #it basically foreshadows how mike being incapable of telling el he loves her in her room during their fight is the final straw for her #she is not going to ask again #and so mike going through with it in the end just makes it all the more tragically epic #and then ending the song with:#'will you still love me...'#dot dot dot indeed #4x01 #gif

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clemencetaught · 1 year

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i wanted to make a few revisions to verse three ( since it looks like there's been a resurgence in thg rpc 🤩🤩🤩 happy to join in here <3 ) but before i get to writing out that, one more hc about his coping mechanisms in this verse:

he smokes, especially when he's stressed. despite knowing the risks, it's a habit he picked up from the capitol although he really really tries to avoid doing it when he's back in district three...it has varying results over the years. that's the only reason he would step out of the library since the librarian most likely would have asked him to not smoke inside in case of a fire

#smoking cw #the victor ( headcanons. )#it got worse after felicity's death unfortunately </3 #and as he got older too since he's like 'well they don't think i'm attractive anymore so i can do what i want now; it's my body #:/ '#this is also probably one of those things he doesn't tell hyuk about too....bc he knows hyuk will scold him fjskldfjsld #and rightfully so :'D #but yeah he gets kinda antsy esp during the games #so this helps him calm down....#alex i'm sorry i keep mentioning hyuk in the tags but if you ever want to me stop lmk pls :'D

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anantaru · 14 days

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GENSHIN + YOU SAY HE'S TOO SMALL

— ꒰ including ꒱ — childe, wriothesley, zhongli, alhaitham x fem! reader

— ꒰ warnings ꒱ — [ex]plicit, bratty! reader, dom genshin characters, size kink & size difference, pet names used: dear, love, baby, doll, they're so confident i'm sick, alhaitham is a little mean in this one, cockwarming, rough teasing ⊹ ‧₊˚ ᰔ

— ꒰ CHILDE ꒱

as marvelous as it sounded to be nice to ajax, indulge yourself beneath his welcoming silhouette and paddle through the outbursts of sparks and bliss, you also loved being a little menace and make him question himself. it starts with a, "you're too small for me," then ends with a "but that's okay!" before putting a ribbon on it, becoming concerned by his drawn out silence before he changes up his demeanor, laughing and smirking sarcastically above you.

"too small, hm?" childe grunts hotly before carefully inspecting how your eyes grow with fervor as he snaps his hips forward with one numbing snap of hips, his muscles visibly contorting at the movement, "you're so mean to me, baby, always so mean," as he completely stills himself inside.

if he's so small, you don't mind if he's not moving anymore, correct? in fact, the flaring stretch of your cunt shouldn't be that evident on your pungent expression. your skin grows warmer when you realised he doesn't have any plans of fucking you nicely tonight, if anything, the harbinger wanted to make this an important lesson for you.

buried deep, he felt so hot inside of you, burning a mark on your walls and exploring more and more of your skin as every part of your limbs and veins felt like he's set them on fire. every pulse of his erection in you, each grumble and deep, delicious moan sent you into a spiral until you couldn't breathe, not when you felt so full inside.

your hands fly to his hair as you tug him closer, struggling to keep the focus on his darling face with the obvious distraction of his shaft thudding within you, "move.." you bite and gnaw down on your bottom lip, yet he doesn't, much to your displeasure, he only drives himself a bit deeper until he couldn't anymore, roaming through your sensitive walls as a wet heave echoes from your lips.

"didn't you say i'm too small for you?" childe pouts apathetically as you feel a rush of defeat coarse over your spine, "this shouldn't bother you then baby," and he continues, he cannot stop now.

he begins to slowly grind his hips back and forth, yet only in small, little rolls that barely did anything, never pulling himself out.

— ꒰ WRIOTHESLEY ꒱

the duke was both pestering and infuriatingly sexy, and there was only one way to humble him by claiming he's not as big as you might've made it sound like in the past. sure, he can make you squirm if he really tries, beyond that? it's fine, nothing out of the ordinary though.

"I don't care that you're too small for me baby, you still have a big heart," you purse your lips together, suppressing an interrupting laughter, although unblinking with a devilish smirk.

"hey, now," wriothesley mumbles in soft tones, and he's gentle, squeezing your hips and tracing over your body as he drops lower to press himself close to you.

the duke rests his forehead against yours and kisses your bottom lip, knowing you love it, it's like a silent way of telling you that he'll be gentle despite his size, well, normally, now it's his method of warning you for what's about to come, "tell me that once i'm done, hm?"

"…with a straight face, stock-still," he felt excitedly elevated, so eager to sooth you and take the edge of brattiness from your voice— until you're bathed in sweat and his cum, desperately moaning out his name with a sound drenched in that of raw hunger.

in a blink of an eye, a ruthless rhythm manifested from wanting to burn that lie from your brain and the usual confidence rising from his body.

he holds your frame captive without a single route of near return, pleasure racing through your skin as he grumbles into your lips, makes your voice rise and hitch as he knocks the air off your lungs with another swift drag of him, his balls crushing against your puffy flesh before letting your walls constrict around his big length.

"shhh, not to worry, you hear? you claimed you can take it, didn't you?" a shudder was born at the ruthlessness in his words, your shoulders tensing and falling in an alleviation of feeling so full. the impact on how he's handling tonight was both totally unsurprising as well as exceedingly sudden at the same time.

you're slowly regretting your past claims, although not really— because you secretly enjoyed whenever wriothesley was rough with you, anytime he was so turned on by your presence that he had to show you in many different ways.

every thread and spark of your cunt constricts up at the close proximity he made you go through— the penetrating waves of his feverishness entrusting into your flesh as you lose yourself completely, needing more, needing him faster and better than each time before.

"you like that, doll? i'm so deep, fuck—" he slurrs his wording, making you shudder, "i love being inside you, i love when you do that… squeezing me," and the more you attempted to hide your precious whimpers from him, the more he made you gasp heftily in return as his hips carried on to rock back and forth your spongy insides.

— ꒰ ZHONGLI ꒱

believe it or not but in the beginning, it was supposed to be a little throw around inquiry to mess with your boyfriend's mind a little, just so you could see how he'd react to being called small. in truth, you didn't necessarily believe he'd actually care that much, maybe he'd even jester back. no one needs to tell you that morax had experience, and a special way of going around your body— so naturally, you expected him to simply laugh off the comment of being on the smaller side, especially his girth.

you can feel his cockhead nudge over your throbbing hole, ever so slightly inching inside until you'd gasp from both fullness and ache. zhongli was never too rough with you, he couldn't be, the idea of actually hurting you was sending numerous shivers into his body.

“i'm fond of this side of you, my dear, i love when you say nonsense like this,"

before you can form your words, his lips found yours, although rougher this time— teeth colliding together messily as his tongue laps across your own, exploring the inside and groaning when you tug roughly at his disheveled strands, his raw emotions enough for to lose a war you were never able to win in the first place.

zhongli hears you pant softly into his lips and he could cum just here and there if it wasn't for his self restraint, calculating his hot trails of touches as your walls glister beautifully around his hard and heavy shaft. your reactions excited him as much as reminding you that there's no point in lying to your lover, not when he always fucked you so nicely and left you breathless.

"zhongli— please please don't tease me now.." you whimper, words muffled beneath him as you attempt to reason, "i was just joking, really," and your voice? so deliciously at his mercy, sounding so pathetically weak that it strengthens the turmoil in your belly.

he breathes out a laugh, his musky scent lingering all over you, "you forgot your earlier statement already? that's not how it works."

you continue to mumble out precious pleas, unable to answer with words anymore as his dripping dick buries balls deep into your hot warmth before he grabs onto a fistful of your ass, "you feel so good, my dearest," he says wetly, pulling out of you and grinding back in immediately after as the bed drags against the wooden floor.

oh well, zhongli would be lying if your claim, even with how extremely amusing it was, didn't turn him on in the end.

— ꒰ ALHAITHAM ꒱

propped up on your elbows, you watch alhaitham get rid of his shirt before he attempts to go down on you, in fact, it was a sweet, little habit of his because he knew he had to prep you enough so it wouldn't end up feeling uncomfortable to you taking his bulky cock.

yet this time, you gaze up at him in open expectation, before stopping him from shuffling between your thighs, "no.. i want you now," you softly feel up his stomach as a sign of desire before smirking, "it's not like it makes a difference with your size, come here," before quickly wrapping your arms around his neck to pull him down.

you kiss and lick over the slight confusion on alhaitham's face as he props your soaked hole with his middle finger breezily, "didn't i say you're not supposed to lie?"

"and what was that about always being honest in a relationship?" he affirms, stilling the movement of his finger before dropping his body on the mattress, the sheer impact of his weight falling to the bed making you tumble slightly.

"come on then," he urges you confidently, snaking his arms towards your hips before lifting you above his pulsing erection, your wet folds sitting gently against his cock throbbing between, "if that's what you believe, you can ride me tonight, correct?"

"..uh, sure," your voice wasn't anywhere near his confidence and you didn't believe it was even possible for you to reach that level in the first place. although your rhythm was hesitant at first, you begin to lift yourself up as alhaitham wraps his palm around his aching shaft, giving it a good stroke and making you line yourself up alone.

you don't mind, do you? not under any condition could it be difficult if what you've said was the truth and nothing but the truth.

his fingers dig into your hips as you take his cock head, the stretch of it slightly burning. but you're determined, in fact, you never achieved victory against alhaitham and perhaps, that was your secret time to shine.

breaking the silence, you wince before a dozen of soft, silken moans gash from your mouth, not making it any easier for you. nevertheless, you carry on to move your hips, thighs shuddering and your hands finding support by leaning against his toned abs.

"f-fuck—" a needy whine echoes and finds alhaitham's ears as the glow of shyness in your gaze refuses to meet his intense, sweltering one.

he hums, making you whimper, "you need help?" as his fingers compress into your skin to shift his hips up and hold yours down at the same time, forcing your cunt to take a couple inches more.

your head immediately lolls back as he bottoms up again, again and again until he's filling the space in your hole, sliding his palms over your ass and kneading a fistful of flesh before dragging you up and down his length. alhaitham can make out the beauty of your figure even better now, he might become addicted to this position presenting him your bothered face, your erected nipples and your beautiful tummy all for his eyes to relish in.

"too slow," but you melt into his touch regardless, shivering above him, "didn't expect anything else," yet it was so amusing to him— because watching through alhaitham's pair of eyes, you should certainly do this more often, in fact, there was nothing that turned him on more than proving you wrong.

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chuluoyi · 4 months

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LOVER'S QUARREL

- fushiguro megumi x reader

“i can't do this anymore.” you and megumi are just too different; he's stoic, you're bubbly, he prefers solitude, you love being social. it starts with fights, words you don't mean, and ends with an event that would haunt him for a long time to come.

genre: angst, breaking up, post-breakup feelings, mentions and description of injury and blood, hurt/comfort, fluff in the end (you make up!)

note: dear god i’m finally getting this out of my drafts. loosely inspired by real life events i’ve seen around my friend’s relationship sooo it might hurt a bit 🤏🏻 but who can say no to angst to eventual fluff? tagging @lees-chaotic-brain and @kasumitenbaz (as per request in the ask!), you two are always here for my megumi works, thank you!! :3 and thank you for dropping by for the event!

a part of 1K MILESTONE EVENT

series masterlist | oneshot masterlist

Everyone pointed it out as a joke, that you liked him way more than he did you.

And you used to never let it ruffle you. To you, Megumi’s sternness and silence meant that he was comfortable with you. You never wanted him to change his ways just because now you were seeing each other.

But when you thought it over now, as you stood before him with an aghast expression and knives stabbing your kind, soft heart, you couldn’t help but do a double-take.

You were the one who confessed first. Most of the time, you were the one who initiated dates. You always texted him first, asking about his day, and even when he brushed you off, you would keep being this ball of sunshine and wished him a good day.

You never realized it before… that through everything, it has always been you. Unfailingly.

So how dare he spout this now?

“I can't do this anymore.”

"You... can't?" you spat out, feeling the first tendrils of anger course through you. "What exactly it is that you can't do? What do you even mean?"

"Look," Megumi stared at you squarely, and you thought now, that it was the coldest of eyes, straight and true. "It's always been like this between us lately. It's only right that we end this."

This, he said. He didn't even want to define your relationship anymore.

You scoffed. "And why do you think we always end up this way? Have you ever considered, even once, that it's because you make no effort at all?"

"I'm trying," Megumi quickly replied, almost in a hiss, and you almost recoiled. "But I just see that we'll end up nowhere, that's why I'm bringing this up now."

Oh, that freaking hurts. You boyfriend had just told you that this relationship would go nowhere. Right in your face.

Your eyes stung with tears, yet you fought to hold them back, fixing your gaze on the lamp overhead and inhaling deeply.

"You're... selfish," you stated, filled with ire. "You're always walking around eggshells around me, never telling me what is it that you really want—"

Megumi's unclouded eyes fixed on your trembling form. "We just disagree on a lot of things. You know it and it bothers you. It bothers me too. Rather than forcing our relationship, I think it's better—"

"It's always me!" you yelled then, lips quivering and eyes watering, unable to hold your emotions back any longer. "All dates, lunches—everything!" you locked your eyes with him, in mocking disbelief. "How can you say you're trying when, in truth, I'm the one putting in so much for us?!"

In that very second, Megumi thought that he hated seeing you like this. You were supposed to be the cheerful one in this relationship, and when he agreed to go out with you, he made an unspoken commitment to himself that he would at least not make you miserable.

And yet...

"...I'm sorry."

Came his reply, and you were sure that this was it.

And to rub the salt in your wound, he added, "I can't lie to you and say I haven't thought this for a while too."

As tears welled within you, you wondered and questioned what you lacked that led to this. However, the overwhelming sense of betrayal consuming your thoughts ultimately prevailed over any other emotions.

Now he could've appeared before you as a stranger and you wouldn't bat an eye, as the cold steel in his tone said, "And if blaming me is what it takes to make you feel better, then so be it."

You couldn't pinpoint the source of your sudden boldness, but in the next hot minute, you marched past him, your shoulder harshly colliding with his in a deliberate, almost spiteful manner—which, indeed, was your intention—and then you ran.

Which led to the next scene: you found yourself bawling your eyes out in the girls' lavatory.

Yuji and Nobara saw everything unfolding right before their eyes. They hadn't meant to eavesdrop, but you and Megumi were literally breaking up right the middle of their shared classroom, and it was hard not to follow the discourse until the end.

"Are you okay?" Nobara had come to your side, ensuring privacy by locking the restroom door out of your consideration. You were a sobbing mess, attempting to wipe the overflowing tears away while letting out all your emotions.

"He's..." Your voice faltered amid sobs as you gazed at your steadfast friend, your throat clogging up. "He said... he's been wanting t-to... break up with m-me..."

"That's okay, that's okay..." Nobara brought you to her arms, patting your back in reassurance. "Fushiguro is insensitive like that... don't cry over him now. He's just a wimp, okay?"

"Why is it me?" you asked her, voice brittle, still shaking with tears. "I t-tried everything! Being the supportive girlfriend..."

"If he can't appreciate what you did, then the problem lies with him," your friend stated, traces of irritation brewing in her resolute gaze. And as she firmly grasped your wrist, her next words resonated. "Not you."

. . .

"Do you really have to break her heart like that?" Yuji fidgeted with his hoodie, staring at his best friend with a blend of confusion and sympathy.

Megumi sighed, finally ruffling his hair into a mess, as if expressing his own state of mind. “This is for the best.”

Yuji’s eyebrows visibly creased. “How is this ‘for the best’? She’s miserable, and you…” he assessed him, scanning him from head to toe, “it doesn’t seem you’re faring any better too.”

“The longer she is with me, the unhappier she will be.” Megumi glanced at the bathroom’s direction. “She can deserve better.”

He was always too quiet, too boring, not able to match your energy too. He couldn’t fault you for expecting more, whereas he was just not exactly built for your expectations.

Megumi really thought he wanted it to end. At one point, it even felt like a chore, but…

How strange. Why did it feel like something was clawing at his chest?

Time heals. Megumi knew that by theory, but he really did see it firsthand when he saw you all giggling and happy again three weeks after he initiated the breakup.

With Hakari.

“Yo, what are you glaring at?” Panda asked, but Megumi didn’t pay him any mind.

An upperclassman, Hakari Kinji, was naturally cool and talented. He was laid back, knew how to have fun—all in all, a total opposite of Fushiguro Megumi altogether.

Three weeks. It’s only been three weeks since then.

“Megumi?”

Wait… Aren’t three weeks too fast to get over your ex?

“Megumi!”

“Huh?” he turned to the sentient panda with a jerk. “Oh, what is it?”

He looked at him with a concerned gaze. "Why do you look so scary? It's almost as if you're about to punch someone..."

But who was he to argue? He had no right to be upset now.

"Is it Kinji?" Panda gasped, finally putting two and two together when he followed his line of sight. "Oh Megumi... but you—"

"Just shut up, please," he blurted then, a hint of annoyance in his tone. With that, Panda didn't pursue it further, leaving him with his thoughts.

From where he was at the field, he could clearly see your radiant smile for Hakari. It was clear that the two of you shared a degree of friendship, but Megumi never knew that you two were that close.

...huh?

Why did the sight irritate him so suddenly? Why did his chest twinge again?

What a fool. You're the one driving her away, you idiot.

Suddenly these memories popped up one by one—

Of you suddenly hugging him from behind in an attempt to surprise him.

How he pressed his lips on the crown of your head when you fall asleep on his shoulder.

How you would give him that dopey smile when he pulled you close.

But on harder days after missions gone wrong, he’d ignore you altogether— the slight disappointment in your smile then. How your expression fell when he told you to go. How you slumped and looked back in hopes of him changing his mind.

“Haaaah.” Megumi turned away, unwilling to keep watching you any longer. Why? Why hadn’t it occurred to him before now?

Why did he long for you now? Why not before, when you were still his?

They were right. It seems people tend to desire what isn't meant for them.

What could have been more painfully awkward than being sent into a mission with your ex-boyfriend?

You would kill Gojo for this. Or at least give him the lowest possible score in his teaching evaluation for the year. How could he? Your breakup was an infamous public spectacle, so this setup was undoubtedly intentional!

You were losing your head over this, and yet your ex-boyfriend...

"Keep your guard up," Megumi reminded curtly, in a warning tone. He looked as vigilant and straight as always, as if he wasn't even bothered.

You threw him a dirty look, offended. "You don't have to tell me twice."

This just cranked up the discomfort to an excruciating level. The mix of unresolved tension and memories—okay, you might be an emo, but how were you supposed to be cool with all of these hanging in the air?

Your site of exorcism was an abandoned warehouse, and the cursed spirit in question was supposed to be a grade 3. You two were grade 2 sorcerers now, so you were a perfect fit to exorcise it. But there was indeed this unease in the air that you couldn't put your finger to.

"Isn't it awfully too quiet?" you unwittingly muttered, staring at the darkness of the wall. You couldn't feel any cursed energy belonging to any possible malevolent entity, and that was what unsettled you the most.

Megumi frowned at your line of sight. "It is. Stay close."

You blinked at what he said, and before you knew it, the familiar scent of him being near to you made your entire body burst with this equally familiar warmth. When you looked up to him, seeing the solid sharpness in that dark eyes of his and his jaw set, dead butterflies in your chest rose back to life again, against your heartbreak and better judgement.

Stay close, he said... So he is worried...

And in an attempt to hide how flustered you were, you looked down.

You walked a few good steps, when suddenly he asked, "So, are you with Hakari-senpai now?"

"Huh?" You spun around, your expression a mix of surprise and confusion.

"You two seem close."

Seem close? Seem close... wait, so Megumi had noticed...?

Suddenly, you felt incited and it made you angry. "That's none of your business," your voice carried a sharp edge, hissing. And you knew you were being a bit mean by adding, "You broke up with me, so why do you even care?"

In that moment, Megumi could've sworn his chest throbbed. Your cutting tone pierced directly into his heart, lodging itself there.

You had all rights to be annoyed, and he knew that. Why did that question even slip out of him?

"Nah, nevermind," he mumbled in response, looking away.

Awkwardness lingered afterwards. You hated this, but no, you weren't above being petty. He had broken your heart and it still stung even now. If your intentionally biting words did to him even a fraction of what he made you feel, then you would find a small sense of satisfaction in it.

But you weren't able to ponder about your mess of feelings further when Megumi abruptly yanked your arm, his voice soaking with urgency, "It's here!"

Sure enough, the grotesque cursed spirit with the shape of a giant bee broke through the walls with a bang. The two of you immediately readied your fighting stance. Megumi was ready with his divine dogs, while you with your cursed weapon.

For a while, you engaged the cursed spirit with all you had. You were trying to focus on the enemy, but you couldn't help but notice the way Megumi always looked at you every few seconds, checking for any signs of injury or harm.

Frankly speaking, he trusted your strength and knew that you were a capable sorcerer. You had been paired in a mission before and he knew both your potential and shortcomings. It was just there was something about this place that had his senses on high alert.

And his fears were proven true when you yelped and were flung onto the grimy floor. "Y/N!"

"I'm fine!" you shouted in a rush, scrambling to your feet. However, as you spun towards him, your scream tore through the hall as you caught sight of the bee lurking behind him. "Megumi!"

He got distracted. The bee quickly latched onto him and almost stung him, until he wrestled it off and summoned Nue and exorcised it.

You went to his side that instant. "Are you okay?!"

"I am." But then he winced and almost fell on his knees if you didn't have a secure grip on him. He savored your touch and breathed a sigh of relief, thinking that now you two were safe.

"Megumi! Oh god!" Panic surged through you as you pulled him close. His side was bleeding, and you widened your eyes at the sight.

"I'm okay, I promise," he rasped, looking you in the eyes. "What abo—"

Then you saw it, the flicker from deep from that corner of platform, and suddenly, you grasped the source of the unease that had been lingering within you all this time. It wasn't the bee Megumi had just exorcised—

At that moment, there was no room for thought, one thing was certain: you didn't want him to get hurt more.

He didn't manage to finish his sentence when suddenly you pushed him away with so much force he never thought you had. Everything crashed so suddenly, he didn't have the time to brace himself or grab you with him, as another cursed bee appeared out of nowhere and—

Reality flashed before his eyes as he stared at you in sheer horror. At how the cursed spirit tore your body, sinking its hollow stinger in you.

You didn't really know what happened next. Everything was muffled—the frantic movements around you turned into a blur, along with Megumi's yells. Otherworldly pain coursed through your entire being and your ears rang, then everything in your line of sight became distorted and faded, along with your consciousness. Next and the last thing you knew was Megumi's battered face, a final imprint before you succumbed to the void.

Megumi had exorcised the remaining cursed spirit and staggered to his feet—falling a few times, but he made his way towards you through gritted teeth. You are hurt. He forced himself to get to you and pull you into his arms.

And suddenly, suddenly, nothing mattered anymore as overwhelming terror consumed him upon seeing you. Blood streamed from your abdomen so much that it made a continuous pool.

"You stupid—!" He choked out, voice hitching. You were no longer conscious and it devastated him even more. "Hey, hey? Wake up—hells—"

You, who did everything you could to save your relationship. You, who cried tears for him when he blatantly broke your heart. And you, who put himself first—and now facing the consequences.

It crashed upon him in that very second, the clarity. What was he thinking back then? He still loves you.

"If you die on me, I won't forgive you."

Megumi scooped you in his arms, pressing you close to his chest, the blood seeping from his wound be damned as he looked at your serene face. His heart shattered in the worst way possible and he almost wheezed at the sticky sensation of your blood—and how lifeless you felt in his grasp—but he willed it away.

"Don't," his broken rasp echoed the walls as he took each step to get both of you out of this hellhole. He winced and hissed at his own injury, chewing his lip in frustration, at how helpless he was.

"Don't leave me."

It was like a distant, hazy memory.

Was it a memory though? No. It seemed far too real for that.

The throbbing headache pounding through your skull and shivers that wracked your body pulled you back to reality. There was a heavy pressure on your abdomen and any movement sent sharp pain shooting through you.

You gradually opened your eyes, squinting against the brightness. You were in a hospital gown, an IV was injected on your arm, and the sterile scent made your stomach twist, as nausea creeping through your guts. Your vision was still blurry as you tried to look around to find someone who waited for you. As you slowly turned your head to the side, you saw him, sitting in the chair right next your bed.

Megumi was sleeping in such uncomfortable position, his head resting on the edge of your bed. He appeared peaceful, almost childlike, devoid of his usual stoic demeanor.

Your heartstrings were tugged at this rare sight. He also sustained injuries and yet... he was waiting for you to wake up, here.

Your chest swelled with warmth, which was quickly followed by a sting of heartbreak. Still, you two broke up...

You jolted, and the inadvertent movement sent a wave of pain that seemed to paralyze your nerves, causing you to whimper. The noise woke Megumi from his slumber, as he shot his eyes open in alarm, catching your hand in his.

"Hey... Are you okay?" Megumi worriedly looked down at you with a visible frown, and the grimace of pain on your face, accompanied by trembling lips, was enough of an answer. He hastily scrambled out in slight panic, "I'll get Ieiri-san."

When Shoko came and got you the painkillers, your pain receded somewhat. Through it all, Megumi stood there, casting concerned glances in your way.

"Bedrest for the week," Shoko stated firmly, assessing your wound with a no-nonsense expression. "Your injury isn't minor—it's serious enough that you're strongly advised against excessive movement."

You could only nod in response. Megumi bowed. "Thank you, Ieiri-san." Once the doctor departed, silence settled over the room once more.

“Why did you do that?” he quietly asked then, referring to what you did for him. And when you turned to him, you saw it clearly.

He looked pale, and there was this haunted look in his eyes. It broke your heart a little.

"You were hurt." Your voice came out dry, and you realized firsthand just how parched you were. Seeing Megumi looking down never quite sat right with you. He was meant to be an unwavering presence, someone strong enough to sway your convictions.

However, a pang struck when he countered with stern eyes, "You didn't have to do that."

...he was right. You didn't have to. What he didn't know was that you were still holding on these stupid feelings, which drove you to shield him. It made you ponder: if your roles were reversed, would he not step in to protect you at all?

"Why are you here?" You weren't sure if the bitterness in your tone was evident, but you continued anyway. "You don't have to be here either."

"Don't have to?" His gaze bore disbelief, as if not believing your words. "I'm—"

"If it's because I saved you, Megumi—"

“Do not even think, even for a moment, that I won’t be concerned over you.” His voice, deep and hoarse, struck you to the core, silencing your words. “Never. I always, always want you to be safe.”

Your mind became a blank slate. Suddenly, all that mattered was his voice.

"Don't you realize how terrifying it was? Seeing you like that?" Megumi spat, his green eyes shining with intensity, teeth gritted and fists clenched. "How could you even think that I wouldn't be here—" his breath hitched, and then his lips trembled slightly, "—for you?"

You blinked quickly, a feeling stirred within you—stemming from that cursed, fragile heart of yours to be exact, evident from the rapid thumping in your chest.

You dumbly uttered, "But we are—"

"Oh, Goddamnit." Megumi cursed, and honestly you were taken aback. It wasn't really in him to swear, so this really bugged him. He ran a hand through his hair in frustration, and despite the situation, your heart skipped a beat at the sight. Even a mess in a hospital gown, your ex-boyfriend was still undeniably attractive.

He stared at you squarely in the eye, unflinching, steadfast and true, the very image of Fushiguro Megumi you admired from afar and fell in love with in the first place half a year ago. "You don't have to... say anything, if you don't want to. Right now... just hear me out."

And the things he said next... all of them, you could say, caught you entirely off guard.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry for not trying hard enough, and—damn it, for making you sad. I never, ever wanted to see you that upset."

Megumi drew in a sharp breath, averting his gaze. "And for days, I've wondered if you and Hakari-senpai are now a thing... and you know what? I hate it so much. I know I have no grounds to feel this way, after what I did, but..."

And like a train wreck, his final words hit you hard. Tears welled up in your eyes in immediate response.

“I'm a loser, and a coward too, maybe,” he shrugged, a tinge of self-deprecation in his tone. “And I suck at telling people my feelings, but I love you. I still do.”

A sob slipped out of your throat and you hastily pulled the blanket over your face, much to his surprise. He thought he had worsened things, with the way you were turning away from him.

But then, from beneath the blanket, in a croaky voice, you proclaimed, "Fushiguro Megumi, you're a complete and utter idiot."

And Megumi didn't know that he had been holding back his breath as he chuckled heartily, relieved that you would still take his ass back after this prolonged mess. He knew he still had a lot to make up for and was determined to show it through his actions.

"Maybe I am, yeah."

"That's possibly the longest shit you have ever spouted in one breath."

"Yeah..."

But he got his chance back, and he knew that you would be alright. Both of you are.

On one sunny day...

"Hey, are you alone?"

Megumi glanced up from his phone, only to be met with a random girl standing in front of him, batting her eyelashes with an ambiguous intent. He blinked at her curiously.

"No. Can I help you?"

The girl twirled her hair suggestively. "Ah, you see... I see you all in your lonesome and I think you're quite cute—"

The hell? Megumi frowned, and he was really about to give this bimbo a piece of his mind when—

Oh, oh. Forget that. Megumi's attention snapped to you on the opposite side of the crossroad. All pretty and dolled up with that crop tee and miniskirt he once mentioned would look great on you by a slip of tongue—that accidental comment earned him your teasing quips for weeks already.

"Sorry, I'm here for my girlfriend. Bye."

Abruptly dismissing the girl, he didn't catch how comically offended she was for being turned down in a span of 20 seconds. He took big strides towards you, as you crossed the street, and you immediately beamed when you caught the sight of his face.

"Megumi!"

Ah, this is going to be a good day, he thought. As he gazed at your pretty face, and caught your hand in his, clasping it tightly, reveling in your scent and the warmth of your presence beside him—

He was content, and once again it dawned on him, that he likes you so, so damn much.

"Let's get started on our date, shall we?"

5K notes · View notes

churipu · 4 months

Text

jjk men & their sleepyhead gf !

featuring. gojo satoru, sukuna ryomen, nanami kento x fem! reader

warnings. none, just them being all soft and whipped for you

note. first of all, anon i am so sorry, i accidentally posted your request on the queue list and fml, i'm so embarrassed but idek how to edit the queue list so out of desperation i deleted it— but i ofc screenshotted this before i deleted the og post, so i am so sorry :(( i hope you enjoy this, and i hope you get to find out i didn't delete your ask and it's here in a form of a screenshot :((

GOJO SATORU. i feel like he doesn't mind most of the time— he does mind it if you fall asleep when you're supposed to be paying attention to him >:(

but whenever you fall asleep, his camera's always on standby, snapping pictures of you from every angle. whether you look good or bad (you never look bad btw), from up above, from below, from the left, from the right, with 0.5, i can go on.

and when you wake up, you find your phone blowing up with notifications from shoko, geto, and him, especially with the notification "@gojosatoru tagged you in a post" and it's just a slideshow post of you sleeping, a few close up shots, and your face with different instagram filters.

you don't even bother at this point since he's not going to stop, and not gonna lie, you did find it a bit funny. and the comments from shoko and geto made you laugh, so... good luck trying to sleep around him, you'll wake up to a whole album of you sleeping on his account.

"satoru, what the fuck is this filter?" it was a filter that made your face a little distorted, and gojo'd just sitting there innocently, blinking his white lashes up at you.

"you look adorable, princess."

"i don't want to sleep around you anymore."

"no, please sleep— how am i supposed to continue my daily updates of you sleeping?"

mind you, he has 200 posts on instagram and 150 of them are just you sleeping + with the cheesiest captions like "my baby is sleeping, pls tell her to wake up bcs i miss her 🥺🥺🥺"

and shoko is all up in his comments like "wake her up yourself, dumbass she's literally in your house."

SUKUNA RYOMEN. the first time you fell asleep around him was when he went out to get a glass of water, but he didn't think of it as anything and thought you were just tired.

but no— you fall asleep anywhere, whenever and most of the time. he gets pretty frustrated when you both spend time, and in a bit, your head leans onto his shoulders and sukuna checks on you, and you were out like a light.

"y/n?" soft snores.

he clicks his tongue in annoyance but doesn't push you away or get angry, although he finds you cute. sometimes snaps a few pictures to keep, but you don't know about that.

and at times, you wake up all tucked in your bed—your favorite plushie beside you, and sukuna nowhere in sight.

you open your phone and there's a few text messages from him.

[ you fell asleep, so i left ] he didn't leave, he said that to make you feel bad and for not giving him enough attention— he stayed in the same seated position for a few hours before prepping you onto your bed, tucking you in and not forgetting to place a smooch on your forehead.

[ call me when you wake up ]

[ love you ] awww.

he's so in love with you.

NANAMI KENTO. he's such a gentle soul, he won't mind if you fall asleep or is asleep whenever he comes over. in fact, he enjoys it when you fall asleep.

he read somewhere that if someone feels tired or sleepy around a person, it's because they feel safe. so nanami just concludes that his girlfriend feels safe around him, safe enough for her to get sleepy and fall asleep on him.

"kento," you murmur half-asleep, stretching your arms.

"hm?" he hums out, opening his arms for you to fall into — which you did, and he craddled you in his arms, placing his cheek onto your head.

"night night." it wasn't even night time, you just had to say it before you go to sleep, and nanami finds you so cute he couldn't help but to squeeze you a little.

"night night," he replies back, kissing your forehead.

nanami just sits there and continues craddling you in his arms, and if he needs to go, he would put you on your bed (on his bed when it's his house), and writes you a short message why he needed to go and when he will be back.

#jjk x reader #jujutsu kaisen #jjk #jujutsu kaisen fluff #jujutsu kaisen x reader #fluff #jjk fluff #sukuna ryomen #gojo fluff #gojo satoru #sukuna x reader #female reader #nanami kento #nanami x reader

3K notes · View notes

marvelouslizzie · 2 months

Text

One More Night

Summary: You and Bucky Barnes are fuck buddies for a while. The problem is you have feelings for him but you don't think he reciprocates and it just makes it impossible to continue your relationship. Little did you know how much he wants you and how hard he's trying to keep it casual.

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Female Reader

Warnings: +18, friends with benefits, idiots in love, unspoken feelings, miscommunication/misunderstandings, angst with happy ending, unprotected sex, pet names, no mention of y/n

Word Count: 3.4K

All work is mine, please do not repost or translate without my permission.

It is one of those days when you feel absolutely worthless. It wasn’t something you felt often before but now…. It is starting to feel like your new normal. You know it’s your fault, and it just makes you feel even worse. You let this happen when you let Bucky Barnes walk into your life without any consequences. Now he just has a free pass to destroy you anytime he wants.

It was supposed to be just fun. Something casual because you know he has no intention of settling down. Especially not with you. Not that he said any of those words but he doesn’t need to. You just know it.

He’s one of the popular guys in your college. It’s not surprising considering how handsome and charming he is. He’s also talented and hard-working. He takes school seriously unlike a lot of people around you. So when it comes to his free time, he just wants to have some fun, no strings attached and you were fine with this arrangement. You wanted to be close to him and this is the price: Your heart breaks every time.

You don’t blame him but you definitely blame yourself because you put yourself in this position. If you weren’t so pathetic, you could simply say no and this regularly hooking-up arrangement of yours would have ended. Yet you never said no and he never stopped coming back to you. Probably because it’s convenient, you can’t come up with any other reason. Like who says no to an easy fuck, right? That is what you are. An easy fuck. Still, it’s breaking your heart every time he leaves your bed. You say to yourself “This is gonna be the last time” but when the next text or call comes, you fold once again.

That’s how you ended up here. Your face is buried in the pillow while Bucky is pounding you from behind. It feels good. Actually, it feels pretty amazing. It always does but this time your emotions are overshadowing the physical pleasure. Tears are streaming down your face and you are grateful that he can’t see it thanks to this position. Then a sob escapes your mouth and you feel betrayed by your own body.

“Does it feel that good, doll?” He sounds smug but you can’t answer him. Not while trying to hold the rest of your sobs back. That seems to worry him. He suddenly stops and when he takes a closer look sees that your eyes are filled with tears.

“Hey, hey, hey! Are you alright?” He sounds genuinely worried. You try to say something but instead, more sobs come out. “What happened? Did I hurt you?”

He didn’t physically hurt you, yet you are hurt. You don’t know how to explain this to him. You feel embarrassed and angry at the same time. You pride yourself on how good you are at hiding your emotions. You don’t want anyone to see you cry. You don’t want anyone’s pity. Yet here you are. Eyes filled with tears, sobs escaping your lips and your heart is shattered.

“Please talk to me!” His desperate tone snaps you out of your thoughts. You try to turn on your back and quickly dry your tears.

“It’s fine. Sorry for killing the mood. I just…” You hesitate for a second but no, you won’t back down this time. “I just can’t do this anymore.”

“That’s fine.” That wasn’t the response you were expecting. “You know it’s okay right?” His worry is so apparent in his voice. “You can always tell me to stop.” What is he talking about? “If you don’t like something or you don’t feel like it anymore… Just tell me next time and I will just stop.”

“There’s no next time Bucky.” The words come out of your mouth before you can process them. You didn’t intend to be so harsh but it came out so definite.

“What?”

“I’m telling you that I can’t do this…” You wave your hand between you two. “...anymore. I’m done. We are done.”

“What…” He sounds shocked and hurt at the same time. You try to avoid looking at his eyes while he struggles to find the right words. “What are you talking about? Did I do something?”

“You didn’t do anything. It’s all my fault.” You have no intention to blame him. You know it’s on you. He never promised you anything.

“I don’t understand.” He sounds so lost. “Just help me understand what happened, okay? I thought everything was okay.”

“They were, for you. It was never okay for me.”

You watch how his expression changes into something that breaks your heart even more. You never thought he would care this much but… apparently, he does. Maybe he’s not used to being rejected. Especially in the middle of sex.

“I… I don’t know what to say.” He looks at your face and then around. “I thought this is what you wanted.”

“What I wanted?” You repeat his words without missing a beat. “I never wanted this. This is what you wanted and that’s why we kept doing it. I was just…” You hesitate for a second because you hate to admit it. “weak.”

“Weak? You are never weak.”

“Oh, I am weak. This is why I kept saying ‘one more night’ to myself whenever you called or texted me. I’m weak as fuck and it makes me angry, okay? I shouldn’t be like this.”

“Doll, what are you talking about?”

His confusion confuses you as well. Can’t he see how much he’s hurting you? Is he really that blind or maybe he just doesn’t care.

“This arrangement might be working for you but it’s not working for me, okay?”

“But… this is what you wanted.”

“I never wanted this.”

“You said we can’t get emotions involved!” He sounds somewhat angry this time.

“Because you didn’t want emotions involved!” Your answer comes instantly.

“When did I ever say that?”

His question makes you stop for a second. He never said that but did he really have to? You know how popular he is. Everybody loves him. He has the prettiest face you have ever seen. You desperately wanted to be with him. You didn’t care how.

“Just look at you.”

“What does that even mean?” Is he doing this on purpose? He surely knows everybody wants him. Why does he have to hear it from you?

“It means you didn’t have to say it.”

“How does… I really don’t understand you.” His confusion is written all over his face. The way he hesitates makes you realize you have to say it out loud to make him understand.

“You are handsome. You are talented. Everybody loves you.” He keeps looking at you with confusion. He really doesn’t get it, does he? “You can have anybody you want!”

“Apparently not.” Why does he sound broken?

“Oh, come on!” Your reaction is instant. “You know you can. Don’t act humble. I’m just easier.”

“Easier?” You don’t miss the disbelief in his voice. “Easier?” This time it comes out more angry. “You were never easy!”

“You know what I mean. An easy fu-”

“Don’t you fucking dare!” The tone of his voice startles you. You never heard him talk like this. “I never wanted just an easy fuck. Especially not with you but that was all I could get!” Your head flinches back slightly. What is he talking about?

“Bucky…” He doesn’t let you continue.

“I don’t know what has gotten into you because this… what you called it? Arrangement, yes, was never my idea! You were the one who didn’t want to involve emotions. You were the one who said anything more than this would affect our friendship. I never said that!”

“I was trying to protect myself!”

“You never showed any interest to me!”

You blink a couple of times, trying to process that information. What did he think you were doing with him?

“What the fuck are you talking about?”

“You never showed any interest in staying over. You never wanted to do anything outside the bedroom or wherever the fuck we were fucking. Whenever I tried to take you on a date, you came up with a lazy excuse.”

“Uh… what?”

“I tried so many times, sweetheart. You never let me in. You were only interested in sex and now you are blaming me for it. No. Be honest. If you wanna end this thing, it’s fine. You don’t need any lies. I get it. I knew it would happen eventually.” He’s speaking so fast, you can’t even find any opportunity to interrupt him until he stops.

“You tried to take me on dates?” He squishes his eyebrows together like he can’t believe you are focusing on that part.

“Many times. I suggested study dates, tried to take you on that concert, then that one comedy club thing…”

“I thought…” You don’t know how to finish that sentence.

“You thought what? You knew what I was trying to do and you weren’t interested, so I finally gave up.”

“No, no, no.” You jump from your awkward position on the bed. “I never realized.”

“What did you think I was doing?”

“I thought… they were activities with other… people. Not dates.”

“Why would I take other people to a concert with us?” Oh, he really doesn’t get it.

“I thought… you had plans with your friends and… you were… inviting me as well. Just to show… we are nothing more than friends.”

“Oh, dear god.” He covers his face with both of his hands. “Seriously? Why would you even think that?”

You mimic him and cover your face with embarrassment. You don’t want to say it. Especially not to him.

“I… just never thought…” You don’t know how to say it without making him realize how low you think of yourself. “You were interested in anything more than sex.”

“I’m handsome. I’m popular. Everybody loves me. Is that why?” He repeats your words with that god-awful mocking tone and it hurts to hear. What you don’t realize is that he’s making fun of himself.

“Yeah.” Your response comes out so weakly but he hears it.

He starts to laugh all of a sudden and all you can do is give him a confused look.

“God you are so blind.”

“Hey!” You instantly respond.

“Have you ever looked in the mirror?” You make a face but it just spurs him. “You are gorgeous and smart. I always thought you were way out of my league.”

“What?”

“You heard me. You are out of my league.”

“Come on… That’s-” He interrupts you again.

“Please.” The way he says it makes you stop talking. “I have been struggling to come to terms with you not liking me. I just told myself, you have done everything you can. You tried so many times. It’s a miracle she still wants to fuck you. I convinced myself this was all I could get so I tried to make peace with it. Now you are telling me you don’t want to keep doing this. What did you think I was gonna think?”

He just baffles you with every word coming out of his mouth. You look at him, not knowing what to say or what to think, even.

“And you thought you were just an easy fuck? Jesus, doll. Do you have any idea how many times I prepared myself for rejection? Every time I called you, I thought you weren’t gonna pick up. Every time I texted you, I prepared myself to hear ‘no’, and every time it did not come, I was the happiest man on earth because I had one more night with you!”

You don’t know when it started but you start to feel tears filling your eyes.

“Please don’t cry anymore.” He moves his hand on your face and catches a tear before it drops on your cheeks.

“I…” It’s so hard to speak normally. “I never thought…”

“What?” This time it comes out softer. You know he wants to hear it because he needs that assurance as much as you do.

“You would actually like me.”

“Like you? Oh, doll… I don’t like you. The word like doesn’t even cover it.” The smile he gives you ignites something inside you. Something you tried to push down for a long time. Suddenly you push him back a little bit and his mouth falls open but he doesn’t get the chance to say anything. You just sit on his lap, taking him back inside you and it slips right back in so easily. It makes you want to moan out loud but instead, you wrap your legs around his torso and trap him there.

“Oh fuck…” His moan is like music to your ears. It’s so raw and unfiltered.

You don’t say anything. Your hand wraps around his neck before you start to move. His hand quickly finds your breasts, squeezing them a lot harder than he ever did before.

“You are so fucking gorgeous.” He says right next to your ear. You feel his breath on your neck and his lips attach to your neck as if he knows what you want. He starts gently. First, he sucks the skin and makes you whimper. Then his teeth graze the sore skin. When he finally bites the same spot, you realize he was just giving you some time to protest but it never came. His bite pulls a groan out of you and the way it hurts falters your rhythm.

“Sorry, I couldn’t resist.” He licks the same spot, trying to soothe the pain. “There’s a part of me…” He tries to find the right word. “...that wants to mark you. Show the world that you’re mine.” Fuck, is he serious? He stops for another second to ask “Are you mine, doll?” He sounds so nervous yet possessive.

“I am.�� You move a little back and look into his eyes while saying that. “I have been for a long time.”

He grabs your cheeks with both of his hands and pulls you in for a long, passionate kiss. It's all tongue and teeth, making you burn with passion.

“I’m yours, too. I think I always have been.”

It’s your turn to show how much those words mean to you. You start to move again on his lap. This time it’s faster than before and it just makes both of you moan loudly. He wraps his arms around your body while he supports your movement by grabbing your ass and moving you a bit faster than before.

“Shit!” It feels good but it also restricts your range of movement and he realizes it quickly.

“Sorry. I just want to feel you all over me.”

You want to say it’s alright but he’s a lot faster than you. Suddenly you find yourself on your back. Bucky’s still between your legs. He never left inside you while changing the position.

“Wrap your legs around me, baby.”

God, the way he says it sounds like a soft order. You can practically feel the desire running through your veins. Your legs are automatically wrapped around his ass while he starts to move but he doesn’t put any distance between you. His whole body is pressed against yours while he’s kissing and licking all over your neck.

Sex with Bucky never felt like this. It was always good. You don’t remember any occasion you didn’t enjoy it or reach orgasm. Yet this feels like real intimacy. The way he’s making you feel is indescribable. You can feel everything he said before while he moves inside you. How much he wants you, how much he adores you… The way he clings to you fills you with love. All of it enhances the physical pleasure. Loud moans escape your lips.

“So… All this time…” Bucky starts to talk. “You thought I was here because this is easy.”

Ah, fuck. He isn’t gonna let that go, is he? You should’ve known that. You roll your eyes in response but he doesn’t see it. His head is still buried in the crook of your neck.

“All this time… I was where I wanted to be.” Your annoyance quickly fades away as he keeps talking. “Underneath your body.”

“You weren’t always underneath me.” You answer him with a playful tone.

“As long as I’m inside you, the position doesn’t matter.”

“So…” You try to ask as quickly as possible before your sudden courage disappears. “You haven’t been sleeping around with anyone else.”

He raises his head just to look into your eyes.

“All this time, you thought I was fucking other people?”

“I mean…” You were just friends with benefits. What else you were supposed to assume?

“Were you?”

“Was I what?”

“Fucking other people?” His question is a lot more blunt than yours.

“I asked first!” You sound so defensive all of a sudden.

“I can’t live without touching you, smelling you, feeling you… I have been craving you non-stop, only stopping myself from calling you every day, just so I wouldn’t scare you away and you are asking me if I have been fucking other people. Jesus Christ, doll. How blind are you?”

You are questioning the same thing yourself, to be honest. How blind were you? While trying to surpass your feelings, you were overlooking his, as well. It’s just unbelievable.

“Doll?” You didn’t realize you were lost in thoughts. “It’s fine if you have been.” It doesn’t sound fine at all. It sounds like he’s trying to rationalize it so it would hurt less. “I’m not saying I won’t be jealous but it’s not like we were actually together.”

You start to laugh and he gives you a strange look.

“You are such an idiot and you call me blind.”

“What?”

“I only ever wanted you, you moron.”

His smile is so big and bright, it’s worth everything you two went through. His happiness is practically radiating. Suddenly, his lips are on yours, kissing you like a madman.

“You’re only mine.” He starts to move inside you again and you can feel how close you are to coming.

“Only yours.” Your words make him groan loudly.

“Fuck that mouth of yours. You’re gonna make me come before you.”

“You can do that later.” You tease him while moving your hips to meet him.

“Is that a promise?”

“It can be. Only if you fuck me just a little harder so I can finally come!”

That makes him move away from you. He stands up and without losing any time, pulls you on the edge of the bed. You know what’s coming and it makes you smile like a fool. He positions himself between your legs while pushing your knees on your chest. In a couple of seconds, he’s back inside you but the position feels so much better this time. A loud moan leaves your lips every time he hits that sweet spot inside you.

“Harder, huh?”

“Yeah. Just like that.” It’s so hard to not roll your eyes with the pleasure he’s giving you. It’s familiar yet it feels so different this time.

“My girl wants it rough. Why didn’t you just say so?” He sounds cocky there’s also a hint of eagerness in his voice. You can tell he’s close.

“Do I have to tell you everything?”

“From now on, yes. You have to tell me everything.” That authoritative tone pushes you over the edge. “Every fucking thing you feel, okay? Every fucking thing you want. I wanna know everything!”

“Yes!” You practically scream. You don’t know if you are answering him or just screaming because of the way he makes you feel. Your legs are shaking violently while your whole body tightens up. “Fuck yes. Please, please, please, don’t stop!” Your eyes are closed while you are riding your high.

That makes him groan so loudly. Even though you can’t directly look at his face anymore, you just know he’s about to come. He starts to pound on you so forcefully, it just unlocks another level of orgasm for you. Both of your moans fill the room and he keeps going until he empties himself inside you. After what feels like an eternity, he pulls out of you and lays right next to you.

“Fuck, that was…” The struggles to find the right word.

“On another level?” You offer to end the sentence for him. That’s exactly how you feel.

“Yeah.” He doesn’t miss a beat. “We should’ve talked to each other before.”

“We were busy doing other stuff.” You smile and he smiles back, knowing exactly what you mean.

“I guess we did everything other than talking things through, huh?”

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