#can you tell i just bingewatched this whole series today

[inkofamethyst]

June 19, 2023

Before I get into anything else, I first have to rave about the animated show Pantheon and whine about how streaming seems to be ruining the best shows out there.  I watched Pantheon completely on a whim as I crossed the Atlantic (along with Crazy Rich Asians which was also great and Black Adam which was just okay), not knowing a single thing about it, I’d never even heard of it before, but the cover/title slide looked interesting and gave me scifi vibes so I tried it and let me tell you: probably some of the best scifi I’ve seen recently.  The plot was really the star of the show here, it was interesting, original, thoughtful, just a little creepy (as good scifi should be (remember when I watched that movie Archive???  same kind of creepy)), and a whole lot of fun (as great scifi should be).  Certainly a bingeworthy series, and a terrible shame that streaming companies sloughed off the (apparently completed) season two.  Despite that, I would recommend the series to others (if caveated), which is a big thing for me because I generally don’t recommend unfinished works that likely won’t become finished, but it really was just that good.  

So, yeah.

Family vacation was lovely, but by the end I was definitely ready to have my own personal time in my own room, a privilege I do not take for granted.  The trip was beautiful, varied, educational, exhausting, delicious... I do hope to return to the Mediterranean sometime.  It’s a little hard to believe that this might be my last family vacation where I’m not really in charge of financing my own trip.  It’s difficult in general to think that I’ll be moving so far away from home in a bit over a month.

I had quite a bit of time to sit and think (and read some nonfiction, on which I have thoughts), and I found myself flipping wildly between being really excited and being utterly terrified about the endeavor I’m about to pursue.  Most of the time spent on the latter.  I think... had I really thought about it, I probably would have tried going for a gap year doing something cool and interesting.  I can’t say if I regret my choice yet, and, I mean, “things are working out” in the sense that I’ll be, in theory, living the academic dream in grad school, but I just feel like there’s a lot of things I’m not nearly as prepared for as I could be.

All that said, while I was in one of my “utterly terrified” moods, “Keep You Safe” by The Crane Wives started playing, and that really helped, honestly.

Okay, now about the book I’ve been reading (which I promise I’m going to actually finish and not just bingewatch myself into a stupor (I’m so close to finishing House it’s not even funny)).  It’s really interesting, about genetics and human evolution, but I noticed pretty quickly that there was a bit of academic classism going on.  The author often attributed recent research to the PIs leading the efforts which is great, but they would only mention their institutional affiliation (in most cases) if they were a professor at Oxbridge, UCL, one of the Ivies, etc, and just kind of handwave away anyone else’s university (ex. “so-n-so did xzy with their team at Yale” vs. “so-n-so who leads a Californian lab did abc”).  I dunno, it feels weird because I will, in theory, benefit from academic classism, even while knowing that the main thing separating a Columbia from a CUNY is money and perceived prestige when good, impressive, groundbreaking work can be completed almost anywhere.  And maybe I’m overthinking, and maybe this is just the way the world works (plenty of adults would likely say this) and maybe I shouldn’t rage so hard against it because all research into this academic classism or whatever says that I’m probably going to get a boost in the job market because of it, but it just doesn’t seem fair and I hate that.

Today I’m thankful for a wonderful family vacation.  I’m thankful for the privilege of being able to do a vacation like this, and I’m thankful to be back home safe.

[todioroki]

daisuke looking like an older kageyama ♡･ﾟ✧

#fkbu #fyanimegifs #allanimanga #dailyanime #fkbuedit #anisource #fugou keiji balance: unlimited #fugou keiji #the millionaire detective #daisuke kambe #kambe daisuke #fkbugif #i love him !! #can you tell i just bingewatched this whole series today #i love haru so much #the way daisuke and harus personality meshes is really nice #the ending was ok i guess #i would like more #also daisuke and haru are just so freaking cute #this ep was fanservice and i do not care !!!! hes so cute !! #fkbu** #**

[cocobutnochanel]

Dream Boy | 18+

Genre: angst, romance, drama, smut

Main Characters: Oh Sehun x Reader (oc: female)

Summary: On a trip abroad, you meet someone familiar and strange at the same time. What started as a dreamy summer fling contains a sick and twisted turn.

Warnings: pregnancy, spying, obsession, stalking, violence, aggression, harassment, profanity, sex scenes, mature themes, yandere!Sehun, obsessed!Sehun

Kink List: unprotected sex, creampie, body worship

Word Count: 9.8k+ words

You pack your bags as Chanyeol sits on your living room, staring at you the whole time. He heard the news about your boyfriend dumping you for no reason. News travel fast in Seoul, for sure.

“Yeol, I said I’m fine.” You huff once again to your best friend. He was overprotective since you were children and seeing your puffy eyes made him worry even more. “I knew he wasn’t right for you.” He muttered under his breath, getting angry for the umpteenth time today.

You just roll your eyes at him and continue folding your clothes. You were going to Philippines for summer. Your boss, Yixing, thought it’d be nice to bring you and the whole office with him to Palawan after you do some work in Manila.

“Pack your own bags now. You know Baek will give you shit if you’re late for tomorrow.” You try to get him out of your apartment by using his boyfriend as an argument but he doesn’t even budge. Baekhyun was also your best friend and thankfully, the news of Minseok dumping you hasn’t reached him yet. You know he’d react worse than Chanyeol himself.

Speaking of the devil, Baekhyun bursts inside your apartment. You roll your eyes for the hundredth time today. This couple really had no plan on leaving you alone.

“Y/N! What the hell did Minseok do to you?” Baekhyun got on his knees to level his eyes with yours as he asked you this. He caresses your face and gives you a sorrowful look. “Baek, I’m fine. Can you bring Chanyeol with you when you leave?” You ask him, trying to drive the two out of your apartment.

You see Baekhyun stand and pull Chanyeol out from your couch. You sigh when you thought they were finally leaving but Baekhyun’s words made you jump. “Yeobo, let’s go to that fucking bastard. My hands are itching to beat him up!” Baekhyun growled as Chanyeol nodded at him, agreeing to what his boyfriend said.

You quickly get on your feet and block them from going through your door. Baekhyun glares at you but you only cross your arms across your chest. “Nobody is beating anybody, Baekhyun.” You narrow your eyes at him.

“He deserves it.” Chanyeol tried to argue but you narrow your eyes at him too. “Couples break up, Yeol. Not everyone has a relationship like yours and Baek. Now, stay. I’m not going to send you guys away if you promise me you won’t hurt Minseok.” You point at the two scowling faces in front of you.

“Fine.” Baekhyun retreated. “I don’t know what that cat face got up your ass. You’re still defending him after he dumped you for no fucking reason.” He walks to the kitchen, anger still in his eyes. You sigh again at how your besties are acting. This would be worse if you were complete. Thankfully, Kyungsoo wasn’t around.

“Yeol, can you please calm Baek down? Before he does anything stupid.” You plead Chanyeol with puppy eyes. He turns around and follows his boyfriend into your kitchen.

You finally have stopped the two from hurting Minseok and you resume packing your bags while they cook dinner. God, imagine if Soo was here. If he was, he’d rub salt into the wound, making you cry even more and fuelling Baekhyun’s anger too.

Your bestfriends were chaotic. Your bunch was odd: it had Chanyeol who was a 6’1 giant who acted like a puppy to everyone, a short-tempered feisty Baekhyun who looks twelve, Kyungsoo was the mean and judgmental bitch who gave constant backhanded compliments at gatherings and you were the barely five foot tiny girl who daydreams way too much. But nonetheless, you were happy you have them. Going on a trip with them while working with them was a dream come true ever since you were a kid.

“Dinner’s ready, Y/N!” You hear Baekhyun call out as soon as you have finished packing your bags. You head to your apartment’s dining room and start eating dinner with the two. They send you pitiful glances but you ignore it. You finish it immediately and head to bed. Eventually, the two left and went to their own apartment.

You cried yourself again to sleep despite you telling yourself you have to sleep early. The thought of Minseok’s stoic face ending things with you after a year was enough to make you sob overnight. He meant a lot to you. You spent a whole year with this man you fell in love with. Yet he had to break up with you without even telling you why the hell he’d do that.

Soon, you drift off to sleep. Your thoughts now replaced by drowsiness. Once again, you dream about finding love on an island like how they do in Love Island. It was your favorite show ever since.

You wake up to the sound of your alarm going off. You groan and turn it off. You get up and get ready for the airport before Baekhyun arrives in your apartment. He’s very fussy about time.

After getting ready, you, Chanyeol, Baek and Kyungsoo gather at your apartment and got one cab to drive to the airport. Your eyes were puffy again and Baek can’t help but hold your hand throughout the ride. Kyungsoo just kept glancing at you through the rearview mirror. The three of them have always been overprotective, this wasn’t anything new to you. Only Soo was more subtle about it.

You arrive at the airport and meet with your other officemates. The process was much shorter than expected as everyone chattered about the trip. Before you even noticed, the plane was already boarding and you were now off to Manila.

The days in Manila went by so fast. You assisted Yixing as much as you could during the office meetings with this Filipino company that were partnering with Yixing’s company. You were so occupied and busy that you didn’t notice it was done already. It was time to go to Palawan for your vacation now.

You ride another airplane. It was a series of Chanyeol muttering complains about the economy’s seats being tiny, Baekhyun snoring the whole trip and Kyungsoo judging the other passengers. Travelling with your besties was fun but they were draining as hell.

The hotel you were staying in Palawan was beautiful. It made you feel like you were on those dating TV shows you bingewatch. Chanyeol and Baek shared a room while you and Kyungsoo had separated ones. Soo hates sharing his privacy and people touching his things.

The beach was nothing like the ones you see back in your city. The sand here was fine and white. The waves were unafraid and the ocean was a beautiful teal. You finally forgot about Minseok for a moment.

“Mabuhay!” A tanned tall man welcomed you and your officemates. “I’m Jongin, the owner of the resort. Yixing and I are very good friends. I’m more than happy to accommodate all of you here.” He greeted us joyfully, his eyes glinting with happiness.

“Yum.” You hear Kyungsoo comment beside you while staring at Jongin who was in a floral polo with the first three buttons open. You scrunch your nose at the thought of Kyungsoo crushing on someone. “Soo, try to keep your pants on.” Baekhyun gave him a disgusted look.

Kyungsoo smirked in response. “Tell him that, he might have a hard time keeping his hands off me.” He sends a flirty gaze to the tanned man who was now looking at him adoringly. Jongin looked like he couldn’t even break a plate. What the hell was Kyungsoo saying even?

Another tall man in the hotel’s uniform comes to your sight. He was as tall as Jongin but his facial features were sharper. He didn’t look kind at all despite having a jaw-dropping handsome face. He somehow resembled prince Eric but with solid black eyes and stoic expression. His pale complexion made him look even more unfriendly.

“Hi.” The sharp man breathed out, giving a shy smile. Your feel your heart skip and your mouth part. When you thought he was unfriendly, you were totally wrong. He was as innocent as the tanned man now that he’s upclose.

“Can I have your bags?” You snapped out of your thoughts when you hear his deep voice again. You hand him your luggage as he puts them on the rack he has with him. “I’m Sehun, by the way. Your personal bellboy.” He gives you a friendly grin. He waited for this for so long, this must be perfect, he thinks to himself.

He leads you to an elevator with Kyungsoo, Baekhyun and Chanyeol following you. His eyes stayed glue on you as a shy playful smile graces his beautiful face. You get inside the lift with a funny feeling in your stomach as he punches your hotel keycard on the elevator sensor to bring you on your floor.

Sehun looks awfully familiar to you, you can’t keep your eyes off him. You feel like you met him somewhere but you couldn’t exactly say when and how. He feels your gaze whilst on the elevator and gives a tiny laugh. Oddly, that makes your heart flutter. He was handsome and his shy smiles made it worse for you.

“Looks like someone found a summer beau.” Kyungsoo eyed you with his judging demeanor. You notice Baek shooting him daggers and you couldn’t help but roll your eyes at the two. “Shut it, Soo.” Baekhyun hissed when the elevator doors opened and we all got out.

Baekhyun, Chanyeol and Kyungsoo got in their respective rooms. Sehun was now left all alone with you because your room was at the end of the hall. He stops at your room door and opens it for you.

“Thank you, Sehun.” You smile at him as he pushes the rack inside your room. He puts your bags on the cabinet provided and shows you the food available inside the mini fridge. Your eyes scanned the numerous banana milk inside. That’s weird, you silently thought. These type of drinks aren’t usually available in other countries. Also, it was unusual to have it available in a hotel fridge.

You snapped out of your thoughts as soon as you realize he was still with you. You got your wallet out and was about to give him a tip but he cut you off immediately. “No, ma’am. We’re not allowed to receive tips.” He formally said, shaking his head.

You look at him with a pout. In his head, he couldn’t believe you were doing this in front of him. “However..” He starts talking which makes you look at him in the eye. “You can thank me by letting me show you around Coron. Palawan is really beautiful.” He gives you another warm but shy smile.

“Isn’t that another favor?” You can’t help but laugh. He blushes at the sound of your giggle. He thinks it’s the most beautiful sound ever and he missed it. He missed seeing you this happy. “Maybe it’s me asking you out on a date.” He teases you, making you blush successfully.

“Okay..” You can’t help but gush at the fact that you found someone this charming in the middle of this paradise. Life couldn’t get any better for you. He walks to your desk and writes a note there.

“Here. Text me.” He hands you a tiny piece of paper. “I will.” You smile again, your cheeks feeling sore from the happiness you’re having right now. “See you soon, ma’am.” He bows his head and motions to exit but he whips his head around when he heard you speak.

“Stop calling me ma’am, Sehun. I’m Y/N.” His eyes light up at you saying your name. He knew what your name was but the idea of you giving it to him willingly was something that made him truly happy. He couldn’t thank the gods enough for this.

He mutters something incoherent and heads out of your room. You finally take off your travel clothes and change into your pajamas. You know you would just rest and sleep all day. You were tired from work and the plane ride. Before you went to bed, you text Soo to have room service with you for dinner later. You also text Sehun to save your number.

A few hours later, you wake up, feeling much better. You open your phone to see Kyungsoo’s text saying he was going out with the hotel owner. You roll your eyes at the manwhore. Sehun also messaged you that he already saved your number. You order room service and have your dinner while watching cartoons.

Soon, you were sleepy once again. You just decide to be up early tomorrow to make up for lost time today.

‘Sehun, can you take me out tom?’ You sheepishly giggled while typing this and sending it to him. ‘My honor, milady.’ He teased, earning another smile from you.

He was tall, handsome and charming. You knew you completely forgot about Minseok now that Sehun was occupying your mind. You tend to move on real fast and daydream about other guys almost immediately.

You go to sleep with a smile on your face, thinking about the tall bellboy who looks like a model.

The next morning, sunlight peeks through your curtains and you slightly squint your eyes at that. You woke up earlier than you expected. You texted Sehun a good morning and like you, he was up already too. You get in the shower and get ready for your day. Finally, you were getting out of your hotel room and exploring the beautiful island.

You put on a yellow sundress with a black string bikini beneath. It complemented your olive skin but you plan on returning with a tan. You text Sehun before heading out of your room and going to the hotel’s breakfast buffet.

You see Kyungsoo together with Jongin. Chanyeol and Baekhyun were also in the same table. Baek beckoned you to come over. With a smile, you sit down beside Baek.

“Good morning.” You chirped a little too happily that Soo notices. “Get a plate and help yourself, Y/N.” Jongin said, smiling at me. I return his smile but you catch Sehun’s silhoutte by the hotel’s doors. He was wearing a white dress shirt and khaki shorts. The first three buttons were open, exposing his chest with a hanging pair of sunglasses. How he looked without his uniform took your breath away.

Soo’s eyes darted between the tall man and now you. “That’s why you’re such in a good mood.” Kyungsoo sneered in his usual judging tone. “Can you try going for a day without sticking your nose in everyone’s business?” Baekhyun glared at him. You ignored their usual bicker and called Sehun to your table.

You greet him with a smile and introduced him to your friends. “Everyone, this is Sehun.” They all gave their hellos except for Soo who was still being snarky. “This is Kyungsoo, Baekhyun and Chanyeol. I’m pretty sure I don’t have to introduce you to your boss.” You chuckle, referring to Jongin. Sehun greeted them back as if he didn’t know who they were already. You notice Jongin avoid Sehun’s gaze. You knew there was tension going on but you shrugged it off. Maybe workplace complications, you thought.

You pull out the vacant chair beside you but Sehun refuses it. “I’m sorry but I have to take Y/N with me. We’ll have breakfast somewhere else.” He sternly said. That surprised you because Sehun didn’t tell you anything about what will happen today but you let him take the lead. You liked men with surprises.

You stood up, picking up your beach bag with you. “Let’s go?” Sehun said, holding you by the wrist. You blush at the gesture but you hear Kyungsoo say something again. “Day one and he’s trying to get Y/N alone.” He sneered for the second time today. This time, you turn around to narrow your eyes at him. He raised an eyebrow at you, challenging you.

“Cut it out, Soo.” It was Baekhyun who scolded your friend as you walked away with Sehun. He brings you to the shore of the resort. He leads you to a white boat docked by the shore and assists you as you enter. The sea breeze whips at your hair and you smile at the feeling of the sun against your skin.

He single-handedly manned the boat’s engine as it started to move. You look around the beautiful scenery. “Where are we going?” You wonder, getting your camera out of your bag. “Island hopping.” He briefly answered, still busy manning the boat.

You take a few photos of here and there but after a few seconds, the boat stops in the middle of the ocean. You look around and see a yacht docked. You questioned what was happening as he led you inside the yacht. It was obvious that whoever owned this, he must be filthy rich.

The interior of the yacht was similar to Sehun’s khaki pants. It was adorned with gold decorations too. There were attendants walking around and assisting you as you got inside. What the hell was happening?

“Good morning, ma’am, sir.” The attendant greeted, bowing to you and Sehun. Your eyes finally widened as it started to make sense. “You own this?” You ask Sehun as your eyes surveyed the beautiful and luxurious private yacht. “I rented it out from a friend.” His gaze was averted to the tiny boat you were riding earlier. You see his attendant squirm in unease as he left you two alone by the yacht’s entrance.

He holds your hand and leads you inside. His hand was like a large glove as it intertwined between your fingers. You smile to yourself at the warmth of his palms. You see a dining table set by the yacht’s terrace. You could see the beautiful waters of Coron, Palawan as it glinted under the bright sun. This seemed like a dream. To be here, to be with a man who was holding your hand.

He lets you sit across him as food began to be served by the attendants. A variety of seafood were on your table but your favorite, lobster, caught your eye the most.

“Oh my god! A whole lobster and even a risotto with it.” Your mouth watered at the sight. “This is my favorite!” You squealed like a little girl. Sehun’s eyes glow with adoration as you smile at the food in front of you. “I know.” You hear him say in a very faint voice.

“What?” You ask him, still unsure of what you heard. How could he know that lobster was your favorite? “Nothing. Let’s eat.” He said nonchalantly. He started putting food on your plate. You begin eating like what he said and he smiles at you like you put the stars in the sky.

After having breakfast, he lets you enjoy the rest of the morning on the bow of the yacht. You take off your sundress, letting your body soak under the sun. Your eyes find Sehun who was standing behind you. He couldn’t get any luckier, he thought. You were so beautiful and standing this near to him made him feel like he was on the clouds.

You lay down beside him and let yourself get the tan you deserve. You doze off for a few minutes and wake up to Sehun’s nudging.

“I hate to wake you up but we’ve arrived.” He offers a hand to let you sit up. You gladly took it. The scenery in front of you was too beautiful, words could never suffice. The rock formations surrounding the waters made you feel like you were in a movie. It was surreal.

Sehun starts to unbutton his dress shirt and you see his six pack abs peeking through. You try to keep your eyes off his amazing body but it was too hard to resist. His broad shoulders, tall built, rock-hard abs and chest made it seem like he walked out of a Disney princess movie. His pale skin under the sun glowed and his long black hair was now pushed back.

He dives into the water first, jumping from the top of the yacht. You snap out of your daydreaming about him and jump right in too.

You shivered at the contact of your skin with the water. “Cold.” You bit your lip, hugging yourself. Abruptly, Sehun swam to you. His face up close, glistening with seawater made your heart pound faster. “We can do something about that.” He smiles at you, putting his arms around you. You lean against his chest and he smiles to himself. He honestly couldn’t stop thinking how lucky he was right now and how he would do anything to have this forever, to have you forever.

You look up to him, interrupting his thoughts. “Is there something wrong?” He asks. Before you could think for yourself, you find your lips smashing against his. He was stunned at first but after a few moments, he reciprocated the kiss you were giving him. Damn, he thought, he would kill just to have another taste of your lips.

You break off the kiss and you see the amazement in his eyes. “I-I’m sorry. I don’t usually kiss on first dates but this is too beautiful. I want to thank you for showing me this.” You explained as his left hand caressed your cheek. “Anything for you, Y/N. Anything.” He said with so much intensity in his gaze.

You smiled at his sincerity right now. You couldn’t help but notice the adoration in his eyes always. He helps you get back up on the yacht as you both have your lunch by the yacht’s terrace in your bikini and him shirtless.

Your afternoon was spent basking in the sun by the yacht’s bow. It was filled with passionate kisses that only Sehun could ignite that hunger and fire inside you. You have never felt so alive in your life and it was all thanks to Sehun. He was perfect, this was perfect.

Sunset came and Sehun’s bare skin under the pink skies was beyond perfection. You ate your dinner while staying where you were for the whole afternoon. He couldn’t help but think all his efforts paid off as you joyfully sat there with him. It was all he could ask for. You were all he could ask for.

After having dinner, he offers you a towel and brings you your beach bag. You wash up in one of the cabins of the yacht while he supervised the manning of the yacht.

You changed into a sleeveless white dress that took his breath away. He couldn’t move or blink as you stood there, your tanned skin standing out against the beautiful dress you were in. Seeing you in a long white dress made him think of his wedding with you. Soon, he thought to himself.

You finally arrive back at your hotel’s shore. He walks you to your hotel room and carries your bag for you.

You arrive at your door and you were kind of upset that today have ended but nonetheless, grateful for this man in front of you. “Thank you for today, Sehun. It was magical.” You get on your tiptoes and place a chaste kiss on his soft lips. He responded with the same rawness and even held your face while doing it.

He breaks off the kiss and you could see the look of amazement on his face. This man adored you and you loved it. Nobody has looked at you like this nor made you feel alive like he did. It would be too early to assume but you couldn’t deny that falling for this real-life prince charming wasn’t hard at all. He made it too easy.

“Good night.” He places a kiss on your forehead. He opens your door for you and hands you the bouquet of flowers he got for you tonight. It was very sweet of him. He even got your favorite flowers which were red salvia. He got everything right on the first date, it still amazes you how he’s so perfect.

You close your door behind you with an overjoyed smile. It felt like you were on the clouds and you were sure he felt the same. Your phone beeped in your hand and you see a text from Baek saying to have dinner with them.

You reply with a ‘Maybe tomorrow, Baek. Too tired for today goodnight xx’. You change into much comfortable pajamas and sleep with a smile on your face.

You woke up next to your phone beeping. You rub your eyes lightly and check your messages. It was Sehun.

‘Hey, you up? Can I take you out on a date again? :)’

You could only imagine that smile and that fact made you so giddy. You reply with a yes and take a shower. You change into another comfortable sundress. Sehun said he’d take you around town this time. You didn’t bother putting on a bikini and went downstairs instead.

Kyungsoo was with Jongin by the reception. They were flirting with each other and I couldn’t help but roll my eyes at my friend. “Good morning to you too, lover girl.” Soo greeted you with a jeer after seeing you roll his eyes at you. “Sehun has been waiting for you outside.” Jongin said and you said your goodbyes to them.

You see him stand tall by the hotel’s doors in a blue button up shirt and denim pants. You look down on your dress and see that your outfits were acidentally matching. Your heart skipped a beat at that. Still, you couldn’t believe he was this perfect.

“Good morning.” He greeted you with a kiss on the cheek. You blush at the gesture and greet him back. “So where are we going?” You ask him as you started to stroll towards the parking lot. “Let’s get to my Vespa first.” You eyes light up at what he said.

Was today going to be another one of your dream dates? You only talked about these things when you were younger with Baekhyun. Both of you fantasized of having a partner who took you out to perfect dates. The Vespa ride around a beachtown was one.

He helped you up on his blue scooter that matched both of your outfits. You blush again. He wears a helmet on your head, your faces were so so close once again.

He rides the bike himself and starts to drive into town. Woahs and wows came out of your mouth as you gaze upon the beautiful beachtown.

“If I grow old and want to retire, I want to rest here.” You say aloud, your voice full of awe. Sehun looks at you through the side mirror and smile to himself. He was very fond of you and seeing you loving the island made his heart flutter. “Then you know where to find me.” He grins and that earns a giggle from you.

You stop at a tiny cafe that was all-wooden. He guides you inside, his fingers intertwined with yours.

The owner greets him with a bright smile. “Sehun! You’re here! What do you want to get?” The old lady chirps. Even women that age love him, you thought.

“Tapsilog for me, bacon and eggs for the lady. Please let the bacon be honey-cured and the eggs cooked over well. Hot americano too for two.” He gives some Philippine peso money to the woman and leads you to a table by the corner. You’re surprised he knows exactly how you want your bacon and eggs.

Your order arrives and you smile giddily. The smell of breakfast food makes you excited. “Ugh, my favorite! How do you know my favorites? You’re so perfect.” You ask him. His eyes were alarmed for a moment that if you weren’t paying attention, you could’ve missed it. “I just do.” He smiles at you, now in a calm voice, and starts digging in.

You finish your breakfast and Sehun shows you around the antique shops and old churches. He also gives you a chance to see the peaceful parks and the lively market.

“Palawan really is beautiful.” You say, marvelling at the Malbato Chapel’s structure. “Not as beautiful as you.” He whispers, surprising you. He takes your face in between his hands and kisses you in front of the altar. You weren’t a Catholic but you could swear this made your heart burst.

Kissing me in front of a church? Exactly what would make my knees buckle as my hands went to his hair, playing with his dark locks. He ends the kiss with one hard press and leads you back on the scooter again.

He shows you the best souvenir shop in the town, he said. You buy presents and souvenirs for your friends and your family back in Seoul. “That’s really beautiful.” He comments as you hold the shiny shell keychain for Kyungsoo. “I know it’s for Soo. He loves things that shine.” You smile at the keychain but Sehun frowns at that.

He couldn’t help but spite that little guy. He was judgmental and he was ruining his plans. His perfect plans.

You pay for the things you got and Sehun decides to let you go back to the hotel to bond with your friends. You’ve barely seen them in the three days you were here. He also had the night shift for the hotel. You knew Baek and Yeol would be upset if you didn’t spend time with them.

Sehun walks you back to your hotel room and gives you one last kiss for that day. You change into something more comfortable and knock on Chanyeol and Baekhyun’s room. They gladly let you in as the three of you eat room service for lunch.

The day went by idly as you stayed in the hotel. Kyungsoo came for dinner and invited you to a local festival next week. Of course, you said yes to that.

You return to your room by 10 in the evening and you couldn’t help but feel strange. There was something off while you got in the shower. You tried to look around and noticed a little spot behind the sink.

You bent to see what that tiny black dot was. You touched it and realized it was a camera. You just touched its lens. You fall on your butt, you were scared for your life. Who would put a camera on you? You shriek and immediately wore your bath robe. You ran to Kyungsoo’s room which was the nearest.

“Soo!” You pounded on his door, tears welling up in your eyes. He opened it after a few seconds, immediately noticing terror in your eyes. Jongin peeked from his door. “Soo, there’s a camera inside my bathroom! I-I don’t know what I should do!” You were hysterical and crying.

Kyungsoo visibly became angrier as he looked at Jongin now. “What?! What the fuck?!” He growled at Jongin who has eyes as wide as saucers now. He got out of his room and knocked on Baek and Chanyeol’s room.

They opened immediately but was surprised to see you crying beside a fuming Kyungsoo. “Y/N’s room has fucking cameras. Jongin, what the hell is this?!” He looked at the man angrily but Jongin could only look at the floor guiltily.

“Are you okay? Are you hurt?” Chanyeol pulled you into his arms, trying to rub your back. Your sobs softened but Baekhyun wasn’t one to calm down. He was raging mad. He took Jongin by his collar. “What the hell is the meaning of this?” He bellowed.

“I-I don’t know. It must be the employees. I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry.” Jongin continuously apologized. Kyungsoo stomped his way onto your room to find those cameras.

Chanyeol was still trying to calm you down as you were walking back to your room. Kyungsoo rummaged the whole bedroom but he couldn’t see a single camera.

“There’s no camera, Y/N. Were you sure?” He asked, looking at you with so much concern. “Do you think Y/N would lie about things like these?” Baekhyun answered him angrily.

“Whoever installed those, knew that Y/N found out about it so they quickly disposed it.” Baek spoke again, discerning the whole situation. “Soo, can you get my phone? I want to call Sehun.” At the mention of Sehun’s name, Jongin’s eyes widened with horror but you couldn’t point out what it was. Still, you went on and looked for the only person who could provide you comfort now.

Kyungsoo returned with your phone in his hand. You dialed Sehun’s number and he answered on the first ring immediately. “S-Sehun..” You try to calm your crying voice.

“You okay? What’s wrong?” He was lying through his teeth but you were too emotional to think about that. “S-Someone had cameras installed in my room. I-I don’t know anymore.” You bit your lip nervously.

“I’ll be there in a minute.” You dry your tears up as soon as he ended the call. A few moments later, you see Sehun entering in his bellboy uniform. You run to him and wrap your arms around him. You didn’t know how or why but he made you feel safe. His face was stoic. He wasn’t angry like Baekhyun or worried like Jongin but still, he cared for you. That made you feel better.

Sehun and Jongin’s gaze meet. Sehun had a frightening glint in his eyes while Jongin remained stern. “I will investigate my employees about this. I’m so sorry.” You hear Jongin’s voice. You could only nod against Sehun’s chest.

“It’s okay now. Shhh.” He pats your back, slowly silencing your sobs. “Thanks for being here.” You whisper when he finally sees your face. “You’re safe now. It’s okay.” He might’ve said this but still, going back inside to your hotel room frightened you. 

“It’s okay. You should get some rest.” Baek tried to talk to you but you could only shake your head in response. ”I’m scared, Baek. What if someone’s still watching me?” Your voice was shaky as you fiddled with your fingers nervously and it broke your friends’ hearts to see you like this. You were innocent and soft to them. You never deserved anything like this.

“You can sleep at my house for the mean time if that’ll make you feel safer. Just until Jongin finds the culprit.” Sehun suddenly spoke. Jongin was startled at the man’s suggestion but then before you could even see Jongin’s horrified expression, you already said yes to Sehun. He definitely made you feel better.

“Okay, enough now. Let’s go.” Sehun gets into another stare-down with Jongin but you were too emotional to even bother. You cuddle up to the tall man as both of you walked away from your worried friends.

Arriving at his home, it was unusually large. It had a lot of rooms but then Sehun said he lived alone. Despite the number of rooms present, you wanted to sleep beside him so you ask him that. Fortunately, he agreed.

You drift off to sleep in his large t-shirt, cuddling the large man who have helped you tonight. For the first time since earlier, you felt safe. You were grateful you had him despite the shit you were going through. Sehun couldn’t help but feel anger as his plans might get ruined. But you staying in his home might be better than what he had for you.

Days went by idly. You stayed in Sehun’s home and he was there with you the whole time. He never left you alone despite you refusing to go out, still afraid and traumatized. Kyungsoo, Baekhyun and Chanyeol brought your things from the hotel and visited you from time to time. When they weren’t around, you watched movies with Sehun and played board games until you two were bored. One night, he prepared a dinner date for you two.

You gasp at the beatifully decorated backyard. There was a dining set for two in the middle of it and it was surrounded with fairy lights and candles.

“You are so full of surprises.” You smile, kissing Sehun on his lips. “I just want you to have everything you want.” He returned the kiss and gave you a toothy grin afterwards. This was all unexpected but it went his way, Sehun thought once again.

You sit down across him and start eating the lobster he cooked for you. “This is our fifth day together here. Isn’t Jongin looking for you?” He looked alarmed at the mention of Jongin’s name yet it was only present for a few seconds. Confidence took over once again as he answered your questions. 

“He told me to take a leave and watch after you. It’s what your friends wanted.” He smiles, taking a bite of his own food. Behind that smile, he grits his teeth, still angry at Jongin. You could only nod at what he said. 

After finishing your food, he goes back inside the house and returns with a wine bottle in his hand. “Sauvignon blanc. You sure know my favorites.” Your eyes light up at the sight of your favorite wine. He’s so perfect he even gets the tiniest details like this right. He grins at what you said. 

He finishes this ‘dinner date’ with him carrying you to his room. You may have slept here recently but this was the first time you notice the hunger in his lips. 

He opens the door to his room and sets you on the bed. You kiss him with the same intensity as he did. He slowly took off the satin slip dress you had on for dinner. His eyes scan your body with so much admiration. He slowly unhooked the lace bra you had on as his other hand roamed your body with an intoxicating touch.

You moan when you feel the warmth of his palm on your breasts. He tore off the kiss you shared as he hooked his fingers around your lace panty and took it off.

He lets you stand, offering a hand. For sure, you looked bewildered at what he was trying to do. “Let me worship you like the goddess that you are.” His husky voice sent chills down your spine as he whispered this while kissing your hand.

He lets you stand on the bed as he kneeled in front of you. He starts kissing your foot and up your leg. You were barely keeping your balance as he showered you with kisses, swirling his tongue on your bare skin from time to time. 

His mouth was now on your inner thigh and you couldn’t recognize your own voice as you moaned out his name. “S-Sehun! Ah!” You say when his lips touched your wet femininity.

He was sending you over the edge and he knew because you felt his smirk against your pussy. 

He flicks his tongue across your lips, making you gasp for air. You arch your back when you felt his soft lips against your lips down there. “Jesus Christ, Sehun.” You breath out in ecstasy.

You feel his palms now caressing your thighs as he ate you out. You were delirious the moment he inserted his tongue deep inside you. God, that mouth. That mouth is just as perfect and good as this man.

You feel yourself on the edge as you reach for his hair, locking them in your fingers. “Sehun!” You screamed his name as a wave of release came upon you. Your thighs trembled as something gushed out of you. “Beautiful.” He said as he witnessed you come. He placed one last kiss on your pussy and now proceeded up your stomach.

You could never have enough. This man was a drug and you knew it. You pulled him up to your face as his lips met yours once again. You feel his member twitch on your stomach. You quickly reached for it and positioned it between your legs.

“Are you sure about this, Y/N?” His eyes were so dark with lust and his voice was raspy. You could only move your hips against his as a response to his question.

He slowly entered you. It felt like he was tearing up your walls. He was that large. Despite the pain you were feeling, you still moved your hips at your own accord.

Sehun’s eyes widened at your action. He couldn’t believe he was inside you and you were moving yourself. This wasn’t a dream or imagination. This was real. You were his.

He thrusted into you so suddenly, tears formed in the corners of your eyes. “I’m sorry.” His voice was surprised at the sight of you crying.

“Do it, Sehun. I need you.” The moment he heard you begging, he did as he was told. He rocked you back and forth, making you moan. The way you clenched around him made him groan too.

Soon, you found each other releasing at the same time. He came inside you and that was the first time you did it with someone you knew for days only and without protection at that.

After that satisfying intercourse, he led you to his bathroom and washed you himself. You were grateful that he was gentle, understanding and caring. He took care of you and he wanted to be with you. It was weird to feel something like this for someone you only met for a week.

Both of you finish showering and change into pajamas. You both go to bed and rest for the night. Tomorrow was the day Kyungsoo invited you for the festival and you decided to go. You felt safe as long as Sehun was around and he promised to go with you tomorrow.

You cuddle into the man beside you and sleep dreamlessly.

The smell of bacon and eggs frying woke you up. You took a shower before heading downstairs. You changed into one of the dresses you brought with you.

You climb downstairs and see a shirtless Sehun by the stove, cooking your breakfast. How lucky could I get? “Good morning.” You hum, wrapping your arms against his waist. He smiles at how sweet you are first thing in the morning.

“Breakfast is served.” He puts the bacons and eggs on a plate and turns around to kiss you. “Mmmh.” You moan against his lips.

He stopped kissing you and picked up the plate so he can place it on the dining table. You both eat in peace and afterwards, Sehun climbs upstairs to change into something more presentable.

Oddly, your eyes darted to that empty room below the stairs. You’ve never seen Sehun get in there. You’ve never been there yourself either. You were about to stand and see it yourself but Sehun got to you first, all prepared and dressed for the day.

“Let’s go.” He beckons you to come to his side and he puts his arm around you as you get out of his house.

The two of you drive off to the local park that was celebrating the fiesta. There was food, activities and dances everywhere. You even went horseback-riding with them. It was so lively, you’ve never seen anything like it in the city.

You spent the whole day with your friends and it made you happy. You couldn’t have done any of this if it wasn’t for Sehun. If you found out about the cameras and he wasn’t around, you would’ve ran back to your city.

“Are we going to the party?” Soo asked Jongin when he finally joined us by the sundown dance. There was a weird tension going on between the Sehun and Jongin.

“Of course.” Jongin smiled tightly, still uncomfortable with the presence of Sehun. Sehun was now standing taller, his authoritative stance taking over. You didn’t know what was going on between the employee and his boss but you knew you didn’t want to get in between of it so you choose to stay by Sehun’s side all day.

We walked to the party Soo was referring to. It was held at a resort nearby and there would be free drinks.

You didn’t really party hard despite being a city girl but still, you wanted to drink tonight. You just wanted to forget all the bad memories you obtained here and focus on Sehun and your friends only.

You enter the resort and the EDM music was blasting through the speakers while people in their bikinis and beachwear partied in the middle of it all.

Baekhyun, the drinker of the group, brought different types of drinks for us. He knew what we wanted. Jack Daniels for Yeol, a cosmo for Soo, mojito for him and pink vodka lemonade for you. He brought local beer for Sehun and Jongin since he didn’t know what they wanted.

You quickly finished the glass Baek brought you. Sehun was just sitting down at the bar, watching you from behind.

“Trynna get drunk?” Soo asked, dancing a little with the cosmopolitan between his fingers. “No. More like trying to forget the trauma.” You roll your eyes at your friend drunkishly.

He giggled at what you said and gave you a hug. “It’s okay, boo-boo. Nobody would ever try to hurt you. I’d kick them in the balls before they could.” He booped your nose. He was tipsy too, you could tell. You only laughed at what he did. Soon, Baek joined you and pulled the two of you to the dancefloor while bringing drinks.

You danced with Kyungsoo and Baekhyun as the three tall men stayed by the bar.

You felt your world get dizzy as you down your umpteenth glass for tonight. Your gaze was hazy and for sure, tonight was going to be blurry. But you didn’t really care. You only wanted to get drunk.

“Soo..” You lazily called him with half-opened eyes. He laughed at how drunk you and him were. “You’re drunk!” He pointed out way too loud. You shook your head aggressively which made you dizzy. You lost your balance but before you fell to the sandy floor, Sehun caught you.

“I’m taking her home.” Sehun announced when he saw you collapse in his arms. He carries you out of the resort and drives back to his house.

You were at the door of his house when you felt like throwing up. You quickly ran inside and to the common bathroom on the first floor. You faced down on the toilet as you spilled your guts down there. Now, you regretted drinking. “Y/N, stay where you are. I will get clothes.” Sehun called out to you as he ran upstairs.

After puking, you finally felt better and kind of sobered up. You wanted to go upstairs to follow Sehun but instead, you fell to the floor by the room below the stairs. The door creaks open and your curiosity gets the better of you.

You get up on your feet and slowly inched towards the unvisited room. You turn the lights on. At first, you thought you were having hallucinations but then it dawned on you. You sobered up the moment you realized what they were.

The wall was filled with hundreds of photos of you.

You getting lunch with Kyungsoo and Baekhyun at work. You smiling with your parents in your ancestral home in Jeju Island. You sleeping on your hotel bed in Jongin’s hotel. You getting off the cab in Manila. You walking home with Chanyeol from uni. You receiving your college diploma. You applying for the job at Yixing’s company. You having a date with Jongdae, one of your past exes. You crying inside your apartment the day Minseok broke up with you.

You tumble to the floor, your hand on your mouth. How was this happening? He knew me? What the hell?

You inch closer and see banana milk boxes on the shelves and there were monitors on top of it. There were also framed photos of you with dates on Minseok from his point of view. You notice a phone was connected to one of the monitors. What is this? Your mind couldn’t absorb all the information presented to you.

“Do you like it?” Sehun’s deep voice scared you. You were terrified with his presence yet you wanted to ask. What was the reason for this? “What the hell is this, Sehun?” Fear now settling in your soul.

“You don’t remember me?” He sounded broken when he asked me this. You tried to recall if you met him somewhere else but you couldn’t. “It wasn’t Sehun. I was named Heesun and I was fat.” You still couldn’t understand what he was saying but he looked heartbroken when you tried to recall again. But then you suddenly remembered now.

Bingo.

The kid with huge eyeglasses who sat behind Chanyeol in trigo when we were in middle school. This was why he was familiar to you the first time you saw him. “Y-You’re Heesun?” You ask him in disbelief. He only nodded like a puppy. He was the kid you gave banana milk to because he was bullied. You hated banana milk and your mom always put one in your bag. To get rid of it and to cheer up Heesun, you gave it to him everyday.

Everyday until he suddenly disappeared in eighth grade. 

“What happened to you?” Despite being afraid, you cared for him. You couldn’t deny that. “I was sent to child services when my mother died and I was left with my abusive father.” Your hands immediately went to your mouth. You felt sorry for him but then you knew he didn’t need that. He suffered in school, suffered even more at home. 

“I didn’t want to leave because you were the only person who was nice to me but I had to.” He sadly said, a weak smile on his lips. Now, it made sense. The banana milk in my hotel fridge, him being awfully familiar. “I only found you again when I was in college and since then, I followed you around.” You didn’t know how to react.

“You could’ve talked to me instead of doing... this.” You breathe out, trying your best not to offend the man. “I was shy. I simply couldn’t. But back then, I always heard you and your friend Byun Baekhyun talk about your dream guy but none of your boyfriends were like that. I hired one but it looked like he wasn’t any good too.” Hired? What the hell is this man talking about?

“I hired Minseok.” Tears now fall down your face. Surprise, anger and pain entered your system. What you had with Minseok wasn’t real? He was hired?

“But I can love you, Y/N. You saw me for the past few days. I can give you what you deserve.” He tried to persuade you but you had no idea what to say. Your eye caught a specific photo behind the door. You squint your eyes at the image of you naked.

It was you bending down and catching the camera below the sink in your hotel room.

Your eyes widen in horror. It was him. Of course, it was him. He can be Sehun, Heesun or whoever the fuck he was but he terrifies you more than anyone had. Someone was watching you your whole fucking life. You were showering! You were naked! What was he thinking?

The phone that was connected to the monitor suddenly rang. It was Baek’s number. You look at him as if you were asking how he got Baek’s number but when you hear your own phone ring inside your pocket, you knew he wiretapped you. He could hear your calls, see your texts and view the photos you had. The realization made your head hurt.

Before you could think, you ran out of the house and picked up Baek’s call. “Y/N! You left without saying!” He greets you but you weren’t in the mood to small talk. “Baek, hear me out.” You were crying and he was suddenly silent from the other line.

You kept on running away, unaware of where you were going. “Baek, someone’s listening to this call. Please find me and get help.” Before you could end the call, you heard Sehun’s voice enter the conversation. He must’ve answered the call from his connected phone. 

“Wherever you are, Y/N. I will find you. I found you once, I’ll do it again. I should’ve tied you down when I could.” He said coldly and the call ended. A chill runs down your spine. You manage to run impossibly fast. It was the adrenaline and fear doing it.

You finally see a car approaching. You wave, asking for help. The owner opens the car door and you were surprised to see Jongin.

“Jongin, I really really need help please-“ You tried to beg but he quickly pulled you inside the front seat. “I know, get in.” He hisses.

He drives away at 100 km/h. “Did he do anything to you?” He asks, his eyes still on the road. You only shake your head while sobbing.

“Fuck, I knew he’d do this. I fucking knew it.” He smacks the steering wheel while he speeds down the road. You were surprised at what he said.

“What do you mean, Jongin?” You ask him with so much fear in your system. “He’s my best friend. Yixing’s too. He manipulated Xing to hire you and now threatened to kill me if I didn’t force your company to stay at my hotel. He manipulated everything, Y/N. Even the company that partnered with Yixing’s, he owned that corporation.” You gasped at what he said.

Sehun was capable of this? The sweet man who you thought was ‘perfect’? The bullied kid whose face lit up whenever you gave him banana milk? He was capable of such things?

“Trust me, I couldn’t believe it too at first. I mean, he was my best friend. I thought he was joking when he kept on saying that he’d make you fall for him. And he’d make it happen perfectly because you were precious.” He shook his head angrily, shuddering at the exact words of a complete maniac.

You finally arrive at the entrance of Jongin’s hotel and see your friends waiting by the door.

You immediately run to them. Baekhyun was worried sick, he kept asking you questions. Chanyeol was silent but he hugged you and tried to keep you company. Kyungsoo was angry and shouting at Jongin. “Soo, he’s just a victim too. He didn’t do anything bad.” You try to persuade your furious best friend.

The police quickly came and followed Jongin’s instructions. Kyungsoo found a way to book a flight exactly on that moment just so you’d be away from that dangerous man.

Jongin was driving the four of you to the airport and he was panicking. He knew how Sehun could get when it was about you. He was crazy when it came to you.

You arrived at the airport and you left with Chanyeol and Baek as Kyungsoo kissed Jongin for the last time.

Your heart ached for your friend but then, all they were thinking of was your protection and safety. They loved you so much they’d give up a summer romance and a romantic get-away proposal. You knew Chanyeol was supposed to propose to Baek at the end of the trip but he lost that chance after what happened to you.

The plane boarded, your eyes still wet with tears. You were broken for yours and Minseok’s fraud relationship, broken for who Heesun became and broken for your friends who had to leave.

“I’m sorry.” You whispered to Chanyeol when you got in the plane. “Don’t be. You never wanted any of this to happen. It’s okay, we’ll be okay.” He reassured you for the umpteenth time today and that made you break into tears once again. You wonder what the hell did you do in your past life to deserve amazing friends like them.

Finally, you arrive back in Seoul, your original city. Your heart longed for Sehun despite what he has done for you. You couldn’t deny that you fell for him. It wasn’t hard at all, you recall your own thoughts. But thinking of him also meant the fear of him returning too. You had to forget about what you had and get therapy.

After a month or so, your life was peaceful once again. You resigned from Yixing’s company. Baek and Yeol got engaged. Soo was in a loving long-distanced relationship with Jongin.

You were with your best friends right now at the tuxedo store. You were the maid of honor while Soo was the best man for Yeol and Baek’s wedding. It was your job as a best friend to be there for Chanyeol and Baekhyun.

“Here. I think this one looks better.” You hand a black velvet suit to Baek. Soo cringes at my choice. “Why are you here even?” He jokes at you, with a disgusted face. You only chuckle at his reaction. He never changes.

The couple finally chooses what they’ll wear. You, Baek, Yeol and Soo head to the restaurant you loved since college. The Japanese shabu-shabu.

“Hmmm.” Baek hums as we enter the restaurant that was just across the street of the tuxedo shop. It smelled good at first but then your insides churned at the smell of raw fish.

Chanyeol glances at you worriedly. “Are you okay?” Baekhyun asks when you hold your mouth and run for the bathroom.

You puked your guts out in a public restroom. You were kind of dizzy and your head ached. You were feeling just fine earlier. You groan as you wipe your mouth with tissue. Was it something you ate yesterday? You try to recall the food you had.

You walk back to your friends who are now sitting on a table by the door. They look at you with so much worry in their eyes. They even got more protective than they originally were. “Hey, are you okay?” Baekhyun holds your arm in place. “Just an upset stomach, I guess.” You sat down beside Soo who was now eyeing you suspiciously.

“We eat the same thing all the time, Y/N, you know we share the food at your apartment. And my stomach is pretty okay.” Soo comments, earning a questioning stare from Baekhyun. “Maybe you should get it checked.” Chanyeol suggests, breaking off whatever Baek and Soo was thinking.

“I’ll go with her after lunch.” Kyungsoo said with finality despite your uncertainty regarding his decision. Maybe it’s just an upset stomach. There was no need to go to a hospital yet you were too tired to argue.

You eat your lunch with your friends as you discuss the upcoming wedding. You couldn’t help but be excited for the two. You’ve known them for so long and you know they deserve to be happy with each other. You can only imagine the kids Baek and Yeol would have. You’d be the best aunt, you assume.

After eating, you part ways with Chanyeol and Baek because they still had a shift for today while Kyungsoo took the whole afternoon off with you so you could get checked. He drives you to the hospital nearby and asks for his usual doctor.

He logs in with the nurse while you wait beside him. The nurse said to wait for a specific Dr. Kim Junmyeon to get us.

After a few moments, an angelic-faced man in a lab coat enters the lobby. “Dr. Kim!” Kyungsoo greeted the doctor who was in the lobby. “Kyungsoo, long time no see. Are you getting checked?” Soo shook his head at the doctor’s question.

“Actually, my friend is.” You smile at Dr. Kim when Soo gestures you. He nods at you, acknowledging your presence. “Follow me, miss. I know Kyungsoo chose me so he could listen on what I’ll say to you.” He smiled at you. You roll your eyes at your overprotective friend.

We enter his office. Kyungsoo said he was good with everything. Soo has done several general check-ups with him and he was pretty effective in finding out whatever you had. He was that discerning. You sat down in front of him while Kyungsoo just stood by the door. Dr. Kim was asking you questions about your stomach.

“I only started vomiting since the beginning of this week. Happens in the morning usually.” You say while Dr. Kim’s face looks like he’s deep into thinking.

“I’m thinking of a possibility but before we assume, take this with you. There’s a bathroom behind me.” He hands you a plastic cup. “Pee on this.” He advised professionally.

You go inside the bathroom behind him and do as you were told. You get out after finishing it, handing the cup to his now gloved hand. He receives the cup and calls in a nurse. After that, he was still patting your stomach and asking about other symptoms.

A few minutes passed, the nurse returned. Your heart beat against your chest as Dr. Kim examined the result that the nurse brought. You look at Kyungsoo and he assures you with a smile, even though he was unsure himself.

“Ms. Y/N, have you had sexual activity lately?” You blush at the question but still, you answer honestly. “No. The last time was when I went abroad with my friends.” You try to smile but it came out awkward especially when Kyungsoo was listening and was now back to judging you with his eyes.

He plops the paper down on his desk and looks at you straight in the eye. “Well, you are 5 weeks pregnant. Congratulations! I will tell the nurses to give you the vitamins you need and to remind you to come back on your eighth week.” Dr. Kim happily announced but you couldn’t bring yourself to be happy. You sat there, mouth agape and eyes weak.

“Oh shit.” You hear Kyungsoo curse behind you. Then, it hit you. You were going to be a mother? But how? You barely recovered from that trauma. You had to cut off Yixing and the company. You had to go to therapy for a month. How were you supposed to be a mother?

Silence was broken when the nurse called out Dr. Kim for another patient. He bowed at you and Soo, handing you all the vitamins a pregnant woman should get. He also gave you some advice regarding being in your first trimester.

After, you walk out the office with Kyungsoo. Your shoulders slumped and your knees wobbly.

Tears started racing down your face as Kyungsoo, hugged you as you reached the hospital’s entrance. “Soo, how could this happen?” Your voice was weak and faint, like your knees. “It’s okay, Y/N. It’s all going to be okay. We’ll be fine. The baby will be fine.” He pats your head and hugs you even tighter.

You couldn’t picture out yourself with a baby. You barely got better from the trauma. You barely survived. How could this happen? There wasn’t even a father figure present for this kid. You were afraid of the million possibilities you may face.

“Let’s get you home, okay? Stay here while I go get the car.” Kyungsoo breaks away from your hug and now walks to the parking lot. You look up at the sky as your hand goes over your stomach. You wondered aloud, hoping someone would understand. “Baby, what would I do with you?” You ask the child in your womb who was also clueless. You wanted to cry but then it’d stress the baby out. You didn’t want that. You may be unsure of everything but you know you will never hurt the child inside you. He or she was going to be a little you. Or a little Heesun. You couldn’t afford but want to love the kid.

You feel someone watching you. You immediately turn around just to see the man that has invaded your nightmares and stirred fear in you. The man who haunted you everywhere you went for the past month. The man who was supposed to be perfect. The father of this child. Sehun. How could he be here? The police arrested him, right? Horror once again enters your system as you fear your life and the life of the unborn child inside you. Hearing his voice and seeing his face brought back the terror he planted in your heart. Tears started streaming down your face now.

“I just happen to know I’d be an amazing father.”

#exo yandere #exo baekhyun #exo sehun #exo chanyeol #exo lay #exo kai #exo suho #exo chen #exo fanfic #exo au #exo smut #exo #exo fanfiction #exo xiumin #exo angst #yandere sehun #oh sehun #kim jongdae #kim junmyeon #byun baekhyun #park chanyeol #yandere oc #stalker sehun #sehun scenario #exo sc sehun #sehun fanfic #sehun angst #kaisoo #exo kaisoo #exo chanbaek

[stanharu]

beastars episode 24 thoughts!

this post got kinda long i have Many Thoughts on this one

Overall I had fun watching this ep but I could really tell it was rushed and there was so much that got cut, which makes me super sad. our fears about the finale having pacing issues due to all the added scenes & rearranging were confirmed & it rly sucks, but i'll elaborate more on that in a bit.

this week's ep covered the end of chapter 92, chapters 93-97, and included small bits of chapters 98 & 99.

so the ep starts with the ED and the latter part of the tunnel scene with ibuki and louis. i liked the visual effect they used to show that they were in the dark. louis' voice acting was also On Point. for the most part i think this scene was done pretty well but I can tell it's being rushed also. I really wish we got more buildup and narration instead of just jumping straight to ibuki telling louis to shoot him. the way it is in the anime feels less impactful imo.

also im sad we didnt get to see this in the anime

before i move on, i wanna talk a bit about louis and his relationship w/ the shishigumi and ibuki. i feel like in the anime quite a few of the lil moments that really endear you to the shishigumi and also ibuki were either cut or kinda glossed over, which is strange to me considering how much effort and care went into the ED. it's very emotional and good but i feel like maybe anime onlies are missing out only seeing the anime and the MV. but idk.

legosi and riz's fight was quite rushed as well. there's so much narration and dialogue missing from it and that really rubs me the wrong way. It wasn't all bad but compared to the manga I just don't think it's as good. I will say tho that I really liked the sequence w legosi and the moths. I thought it looked really nice and was pretty well done.

also i liked how the backgrounds had some anti-yahya graffiti, its a nice touch imo

it says "high quality horse meat"

I was happy to see legosi do the "tell me more" pose but I'm honestly disappointed that the anime took out the whole exposition about why legosi did it. like i feel like without that it's just legosi being weird when he has a reason for it!!! This is just one example of the anime taking out crucial narration during the fight.

I also think it's kinda weird how they changed how louis shows up at the fight. im not sure how i feel about riz just charging at him like that, but i liked how legosi kicked him before they ran lol.

i dont have much to say about pina's small scene but I did wanna say that during my first watch thru of the ep i was too distracted trying to read the graffiti behind him that i didn't notice him getting his phone out of the dumpster and calling the cops lmao

it says "devour yahya"

and now... here we are... the predation scene.

overall i thought it was pretty well done but, like the rest of the ep, i could tell it was also being kinda rushed. some important beats werent given enough time to really sink in, and there's a few bits of narration taken out of this part as well that i find disappointing :^(

tho i did like how the anime called back to this scene in s1 when legosi mentions utilizing his strength.

also this part where louis is remembering ibuki had me like😭

I also really liked seeing louis cry. I was crying too sjdflskjdflsjkdf. i thought that scene was really good, its prolly my favorite part of the ep tbh. getting to hear the whole predation scene voiced made me kind of a mess lol. i really liked louis' expressions throughout this whole ep too. studio orange used their whole louis expression budget on these last 2 eps lmao.

seeing legosi instantly get all beefed up was great too. he looked a little ridiculous but i kinda loved it lol. he's so huge and poofy. i love him.

big pomeranian

anyway, im also sad they took out louis' line about being reduced to a flashback character lol. instead he tells legosi "be a hero" again which... im not sure about that change. i liked the part with riz thinking back about tem tho. tho imo the way riz realizes he's in the wrong feels pretty sudden. again adding to how rushed the whole ep feels.

before i move on again i just wanna say legosi looks so cute. even all puffed up and covered in blood. how does he do that

baby boy baby. i wanna ruffle his cheek floofs.

i think one of the things im most disappointed about from this whole ep was how the fight got wrapped up. i really like how the cops show up and totally shift the tone in the manga jslkdfjskljdf. im also really sad we didnt get this interaction

tthe anime really took out most of the sillier moments from the finale, which makes me pretty sad to think about. i know the anime and manga have different tones but pls let the boys be silly sometimes!!

the next part where legosi and louis finally establish their friendship was really cute tho ❤️ even tho it was pretty different i enjoyed it a lot.

BABIESSSS 🥺😭❤️❤️

the wrap-up for this arc and this episode gave me whiplash sdjlfkjsdf. it literally speedruns thru legosi's predation conviction, being released, louis & haru's graduation, and legosi deciding he's going to drop out of school. that is SO MUCH AT ONCE. also i was holding out hope that legosi would have his new years call with haru after the fight instead but that didnt happen!! so it just got cut!!! kinda mad about that tbh. legosi and haru having a lil scene at the very end made up for it a lil bit but that's still one of haru's few moments in this arc that's just not included.

we didnt even get the part wher legosi learns he can't marry haru bc of his conviction.

ive been really hoping for a season 3 announcement once this season ended. with all the background allusions to yahya, the added plot point of someone stealing elephant tusks, and sebun and melon's lil cameos in this season, it seemed to me that studio orange was kinda teasing a 3rd season. but now, with the dismissive way the anime ended, and paru's note from earlier today, im less sure about the possibility of a 3rd season. i'd still like to see the rest of the series animated, but i guess we'll just have to wait and see if more anime is announced in the future.

if we do get another season in the future i just hope that we swing back around and actually address the things that got completely glossed over in the last couple minutes of this episode instead of charging forward w/o touching them again.

i really think the finale for this arc should've been two episodes at least. not including the tunnel scene. i think then things wouldn't have felt so rushed. people have been saying this season really would have benefitted from at least 1 extra episode and i cant help but agree. some have even suggested a whole 24 episodes just for this arc, but i think that this arc couldve been done properly with 12 or 13 episodes if there was some better prioritizing on what to include and what to cut.

like i dont mind not getting the parts about legosi's family if they can be addressed somehow in a future season (or if theres no more future anime seasons thats a plot thread that doesnt have to be worried about). i could have lived w/o seeing sheila & peach's chapter animated if it meant more time for the focus of this arc. and was the kangaroo red herring really necessary?

adaptation wise, i dont think this season was as good as the first. i still think it did fairly well, but i know that it could have been much better. ive been excited to watch this season with my friends once the dub releases, but now im wondering if i should just tell them to read the manga instead. sighs idk. perhaps it comes thru better as a bingewatch, or perhaps im being a bit too harsh. idk. at some point ill do a rewatch and see how i feel about the season as a whole, but that wont be for a while.

if you've read this far, thanks for reading my ramblings!! it's been fun to make these posts every week and im gonna miss getting new episodes every week.

#beastars #beastext #legosi #legoshi #louis

[mittensmorgul]

Today on the TNT loop, a wonderful direct callback to 15.09 and 15.10, via 4.15, 4.16 and 4.17...

I need to start out by reminding everyone that the entire purpose of s4 was to manipulate Sam and Dean into “playing their roles,” even before they knew their roles existed as roles. Cosmically fated to act out a specific story for the entertainment of a bored God. Remember, they’re about to learn of the existence of “Chuck the Prophet” who’s been writing their lives down, in explicit detail, and publishing them as a series of pulpy horror novels. Hooray, 4.18, up next for me.

But I really need to pause here, because the sort of manipulations that Sam and Dean suffered through in 15.10, while I’ve already pointed out a lot of other “silly” episodes they referenced:

https://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/post/190430063655/mittensmorgul-episodes-i-expect-1510-to-remind

I’m gonna now add 4.17 to that list, too, because holy HECK.

Remember the setup to this episode? 4.15 and 4.16 both? Where Dean had been DIRECTLY MANIPULATED into stopping Alistair from breaking another seal-- to “kill death twice” by ritually murdering two reapers-- a hunt that Cas “tricked” Sam and Dean into taking on by literally making them think that Bobby had sent them on that hunt.

Then 4.16 used Uriel to manipulate both Dean AND Cas into believing they needed to torture information out of Alistair. The goal was to break both Dean AND Cas here, because Uriel knew all along that Alistair was literally just a distraction, a diversion from his own actions, recruiting angels for Team Lucifer and murdering those who refused to join him. But also breaking Dean’s will to just... do what he’s told. Because Dean himself was never destined to be anything more than a tool to Heaven, a vessel for Michael to wear to the apocalypse. Of course, Dean didn’t know any of that yet, and neither did Cas. He knew Dean was “important,” but truly didn’t know why. 

At the end of 4.16, lying in a hospital bed, Dean felt hopeless:

Castiel: It's not blame that falls on you, Dean, it's fate. The righteous man who begins it is the only one who can finish it. You have to stop it. Dean: Lucifer? The Apocalypse? What does that mean? Hey! Don't you go disappearing on me, you son of a bitch. What does that mean! Castiel: I don't know. Dean: Bull. Castiel: I don't. Dean, they don't tell me much. I know our fate rests with you. Dean: Well, then you guys are screwed. I can't do it, Cas. It's too big. Alastair was right. I'm not all here. I'm not—I'm not strong enough. Well, I guess I'm not the man either of our dads wanted me to be. Find someone else. It's not me.

Tell me this isn’t super similar to his state earlier in s15. Let’s say... at the beginning of 15.06, holed up in his room in his bathrobe, bingewatching tv shows and eating cereal directly from the box. By the end of the episode, he still wasn’t sure what was real and what was Chuck’s doing in his life, and he’s absolutely right to question that, given his lifetime of experience being manipulated in exactly this way by higher cosmic powers.

In 4.17, that higher cosmic power was Zachariah, literally giving Sam and Dean alternate memories and directly inserting them into entirely different lives to prove a point. In 4.17, the Winchesters had their lifetime of knowledge of the Supernatural excised from them-- and even all the practicalities of hunting like “how to buy guns,” and “how salt can repel ghosts,” and “how to fight.” Throughout the episode they were forced to re-learn all of these skills for themselves, ironically using Ghostfacers videos about ghost hunting that directly referenced information that the Ghostfacers had learned from “The Winchesters.” Very much like how the Winchesters were “depowered” in 15.10, and yet... they were saved because of their prior relationship WITH GARTH, in which they had not only saved Garth’s life a couple of times, but had also learned things and imparted knowledge and information TO GARTH in the past. 

I guess what I’m attempting to point out here is the direct parallel to Chuck’s active manipulation of Sam and Dean in 15.10. They may not have had their memories removed like Zachariah did to them, but they’ve been reset to a similar sort of “baseline” status where NOTHING they do actually works this time. It’s... it’s almost a perfect inverse of 4.17.

Literally the episode leading up to the first appearance of Chuck The Author in canon.

Tell me Dabb isn’t explicitly suggesting an inverse parallel here, framing everything as Dean’s CHOICE, when it’s been one grand manipulation to pressing him into making that choice through any means necessary-- up to and including direct deceit and false narrative:

Zachariah: Believe me, I had no interest in popping down here into one of these smelly things. But after the unfortunate situation with Uriel, I felt it necessary to pay a visit, get all my ducks in a row. Dean: I am not one of your ducks. Zachariah: Starting with your attitude. Dean: So, what? This was all some sort of a lesson? Is that what you're telling me? Wow. Very creative.

and

Zachariah: I know, I know. You're not strong enough. You're scared. You've got daddy issues. You can't do it, right? Dean: Angel or not, I will stab you in your face. Zachariah: All I'm saying is it's how you look at it. Most folks live and die without moving anything more than the dirt it takes to bury them. You get to change things. Save people, maybe even the world. All the while you drive a classic car and fornicate with women. This isn't a curse. It's a gift. So for God's sakes, Dean, quit whining about it. Look around. There are plenty of fates worse than yours. So are you with me? You wanna go steam yourself another latte? Or are you ready to stand up and be who you really are?

Zachariah KNEW the bigger plan all along. Here he showed Dean an “alternate life” that was entirely manufactured to be a “false choice.” Dean, because of who he is as a person, would never have chosen that corporate falsehood. Just like he rejected Zachariah’s intended lesson in 5.04. And Gabriel’s lesson in 5.08.

Dean... doesn’t want to play his role. His role sucks. It’s a river of crap that would send most people howling to the nuthouse, after all... oh... wait, that’s a direct quote from 5.09, aka another episode where Chuck is directly involved, and directly manipulates them into a hunt... Dean... is not a fan...

But... we also learn something that I still think is true, and that I still think is IMPORTANT to s15. And important to Chuck as a character on this show we’re watching. I really don’t think he’s omniscient. I don’t think he can actually see every possible outcome. I don’t think he can control everything. But I think, and will always think, that because of Free Will, his ability to truly influence the outcome of his story is hindered. Unless he can use everything he CAN manipulate to crush Sam and Dean’s free will... to force them into making choices directly against their own interest, because of their perceived situation, or in this new post 14.20 universe, Chuck’s perceived intent for them.

Sam and Dean (and Cas! remember this was also about his discovery of the “rot” in Heaven, and how he himself had been used and manipulated into helping start the apocalypse) spent s4 thinking they were doing the right thing, because they’d been lied to from the start. When they questioned their path, questioned each other, their actions were met with often comically implausible verging on outright ridiculous situations that nudged them back into this cosmically “destined” series of events.

And Chuck’s history of this is directed at Sam and Dean in different ways-- Sam through the psychological manipulation and emotional angst, and Dean through physically hindering him. Chuck needed to break Sam’s trust in Dean, and replace it with the false belief that he was actually doing the right thing back in s4:

SAM: Dean’s not... he's not Dean lately. Ever since he got out of hell. He needs help. CHUCK: So you got to carry the weight? SAM: Well, he's looked out for me my whole life. I can't return the favor? CHUCK: Yeah, sure you can. I mean, if that's what this is. SAM: What else would it be? CHUCK: I don't know. Maybe the demon blood makes you feel stronger? More in control? SAM: No. That's not true. CHUCK: I'm sorry, Sam. I know it's a terrible burden – feeling that it all rests on your shoulders. SAM: Does it? All rest on my shoulders? CHUCK: That seems to be where the story's headed. SAM: Am I strong enough to stop Lilith tonight? CHUCK: I don't know. I haven't seen that far yet.

Chuck needs to break Sam’s will in 15.09, but Dean? Dean he needed to break his car, break him physically, and break his belief in his own choices and actions. Break his belief in his own identity. Because Dean’s will is not so easily shattered. He’s still willing to punch God in the face, for all of this.

And that’s how we end up with 15.10...

bonus destiel content: Dean’s very first prayer to Cas, ever, is asking him for help to stop Chuck’s prophecy from coming true. Dean question’s Cas’s “mission,” i.e. the thing Dean is unaware Cas has been questioning himself all this time, in the face of Dean’s refusal to just sit around and wait for Chuck’s prophecies to happen to them. Cas supplies him with the bit of information Dean needs to interfere and break the prophecy. I’ve written about the importance of that act before:

https://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/post/187983341865/i-always-thought-anna-said-only-an-angel-can-kill

(and it bothers the everloving fuck out of me that people still don’t see that Chuck is a flim-flam artist of the highest order, and is the most unreliable narrator in the history of unreliable narrators, because not only is he biased to his own view of the story, he has the power to make the story conform to his own views, even if he can’t fully control each of the characters like glorified puppets)

and then Lizbob has also written about this scene and its import:

https://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/post/169437649690/elizabethrobertajones-dean-cas-are-in-love-a

which is incredible when paired with Dean’s most recent prayer to Cas in 15.09, not about a problem he needs help fixing, but directly about their relationship... to quote Layla from 1.12, speaking on the subject of prayer, there’s a miracle right there.

#spn 4.15 #spn 4.16 #spn 4.17 #spn 4.18 #spn 15.10 #spn 15.09 #chuck's process #sam sympathizes and dean empathizes #spiders georg of the tnt loop #s15 meta rewatch #destiel #it's spirals all the way down #the scheherazade of supernatural #spn 1.12

[throwing-summers-at-the-walls]

Hi, i hope you are feeling good! Im better than yesterday so i can finally answer you. First of all: i am so happy that you shared your fanfiction! i had a great time reading it! Im always open for more recs. Maybe your all time favorites? Or if you know some good h/c these are always welcome :) And YESSS please send me a link to your fanvids. -- yeah 13rw was super cursed. haha i also watched season 1 but thankfully i was able to sto watching becaue i could feel it making me feel bad (1)

I agree the suicide scene was just cringe (but i think i remember reading somewhere that they cut it out? idk) and overall this show just gave me the feeling that there was no hope and things are always getting worse instead of better and i hated that. but enough of that cursed show. can i just say i really admire how open you are about your feelings (like being suicidal and that) i realy, really admire this about you. i have so much respect for you that you can just share your feelings here (2)

I have never heard of ace attorney but that story you described sounds really good. and i get reading sth that isnt good for you and still doing it (because im a dumb bitch too :D) -- okay i might accept that Root will never grow on you (but i thought so too and look at me now :D) but i havent fully given up yet :)-- yes thats the girl. i think it was really sweet when she said that to Shaw. and i think Shaw appreciated it that someone tried to figure her out instead of just writting her off (3)

Shaw is really cool and definately also a badass and in combination with John its just great! but you will have to suffer trough some Shoot.  but maybe, maybe you will end up not hating Root. hope dies last (idk how the saying goes in english, sorry). -- Did you ever ship Caresse (in a romantic way)? cause sometimes i do and sometimes i dont and i get so confused about it :) but i think most of the time i like them more as friends. anyway her death really sucked and you are right with (4)

her death and them losing the library it felt like a different show (i mean i guess it was a different show then). i kinda get your feelings about the destroyed library because i also really loved it (and im really bad with change) but i dont think it affected me as much as you. but yeah i still missed the library very much. and while the subway is a really cool new place its not the same. (also the subway is super dark cause its underground and idk it just makes the whole thing less homey) (5)

Yes he is everything! such a great, interesting character and i wish there were more John-centric episodes! (like ones that explored his character more). that was one of my biggest dislikes of the later seasons that John wasnt featured as much anymore. i think he chuckled a few times in the show but a real laugh? i cant remember one :(  -- He did promise Joss to talk to Tyler so @show were is that talk? -- if seen the vid its awesome! thehiddenmemory has some great poi vids! (6)

yes i think so too. Like Grace would probably be relived and thankful that Harold is still alive and maybe they would even try again but eventually she would figure out that she cant trust him after lying to him for so long or sth like that and Harold would ofc realize that he is in love with someone else now. And then he finds out that John is still alive but stayed away cause he didnt want to get in the way of Harold/Grace. But then Harold comes back. And when they meet again John is like (7)

you came back for the machine? what about Grace. But Harold tells him he came back for John not the machine and then they kiss and have a happy live with Bear (sorry i got a little carried away here :D). -- Yeah Zoe is really hot and she needed more screen time! -- i hope you have a good day and i hope i havent messed up the numbers on the asks! :)

Hi ! I'm finally free from the resits, I hope you're doing okay with your thesis 💛

Sorry for replying late, there was the exam resits, and I read a bunch of fics, then I fell into pokémon and started bingewatching it. (Also I had a breakdown during therapy today so I'm gonna finish writing my answer to distract myself - it's been sitting in my drafts for so long rip)

Thank you !! It was a very personal thing, I'm really happy you liked it !! Your support and your comment made me thrive 💛💛

Tbh I was surprised to see it get kudos given that the only intended audience was my self projecting ass 🤣

So, my fav fics (my fav fic ever is in French, rip to y'all bc it's so good):

I am, I am, I am by RavenWhitecastle

Actually check the entire series this work belongs to: The Sinner and the Saint. I haven't finished it yet but I love it (I just skipped the explicit fics bc I don't like smut or sub!John)

Breaking All The Rules by talkingtothesky

Outsider Perspective by Neery

A Really Private Person by astolat

Hamartia (the hero's fatal flaw) by astolat

If Only for Tonight by spacemutineer

From Here, Where? by AKMars

Stroll by TheaNishimori

and the world was gone by lunarcorvid

a light that never goes out by vindicatedtruth

Limitations. by Michaelssw0rd

Reel you in and spit you out by Michaelssw0rd

All I Want For Christmas Is You by richmahogany

By What Power I Am Made Bold by brinnanza

Aftershocks by darringtons

At Certain Hours It All Breaks Down by nogoaway

construction of a kingdom by the_ragnarok

You Take Me Higher Than I've Gone by talkingtothesky

All Together Now by beadedslipper

I'll Let the Waters Still by brinnanza

Birthday Tradition by talkingtothesky

Things My Father Taught Me by KRyn

Truth is in the Eye of the Beholder by infiniteeight

Better Luck This Time by Lisztful

Motivations by JenNova

What's On the Table by cortue

In Another Life by Della19

I Thought We Already Were by talkingtothesky

Misunderstandings by thisstarvingartist

This is already fucking long omg so for the h/c: my bookmarks filtered with Rinch and h/c

Here's my playlist, it's mostly Rinch, but there are a few not Rinch vids, plus some scenes I like

This is long enough already, so it's time for a read more. Also, warning, we be talking about suicide

The portrayal of suicide is cringe most of the time anyway. If my suicidal ass can find a list of suicide methods and their lethality in 2 mins on Google you'd think writers who are supposed to do some research would be able to find them too but no they're like "ah yes slicing wrists" even though it's literally the shittiest method 🙄 (I just don't understand why slicing wrists seems to be such a popular method in the collective imagination ? It's weird.) At least in 13rw she took aspirin and cut herself vertically instead of horizontally but still, no hesitation wounds, and she dies even though she only got 4 wounds iirc ? I know more about jumping off bridges than slicing wrists, but it kinda sounds like bullshit to me. Also Netflix once suggested "beyond the reasons" to me, it's a sort of discussion with the cast and crew of 13rw and the only thing I remember is a moment of intellectual masturbation abt how they "opened a discussion abt suicide" 😬😬😬

They may have cut it out it's not impossible, idk I didn't hear about it, but it's not like I look for info about this dumpster fire lol. Maybe they faced backlash ? Wouldn't be surprised given how shit the show was. And yeah it has a hopeless vibe, I mean that's how it be when you're suicidal, but I didn't like it either.

You're sweet 💜💜 it's interesting that you find it respectable or admirable, I don't have an external point of view, so I'm just like 🤷 it is what it is. I understand where you're coming from though, I guess it's still quite a taboo subject, and suicidal people don't always feel comfortable talking about it, so me throwing around that I jumped off a bridge must be surprising. I'm detached enough from my suicide attempt that I'm able to talk about it without much of a problem, and I'm not really suicidal anymore.

Dumb bitches unite 👏👏👏 we be out there reading shit we shouldn't read

Yeah I think it's nice how the show didn't portray Shaw as a bad person for not having "normal feelings". Well, hope makes one live as we say in French (idk the English saying either lol) but don't hold much hope about me liking Root lmao

I used to ship careese bc they kissed in the crossing, but then I read some Rinch fics and I just ended up falling into it to the point where I stopped caring about careese. Now I think their relationship works better as a friendship.

Yeah all that change really puts me off... It just gives me "bad spin-off" vibes. Especially since there is less John :( and less Rinch :((((

Lmao yeah I just have a lot of feelings about early poi hgkfglrk. Also :/ I'm sad about the subway being less homey pls I just want happiness ?? I swear this show destroys my heart on top of owning my last braincell (brb changing my blog title to this lmao)

Mood I need all the John-centric eps, give me m o r e characterization and development and backstory and feelings hhhhhhh. I love him so much I just wanna spend more time with him. And that's what fics are for ! Yeah thehiddenmemory is so talented ! Astolat made some good ones too, on top of writing really good fics ! (Our fandom has been blessed with the presence of one of the ao3 founders hell yeah)

Also, remember how we talked abt the poi subreddit ? The other day I left a comment on there, wild I know. It wasn't a discussion about the last seasons though, I'm not crazy, it was about the impact poi had in our lives so I said it literally taught me English. Who knows maybe sometimes I'll comment again lol. I just don't wanna meet one of those people who prefer late poi over early poi.

Allow me to uuuuh write something based on what you said. Don't ask me how John survived with no major injuries, my man got that Thick Plot Armor alright. Hope you appreciate me getting carried away sjdkdksk it's kinda rushed and the first part isn't that good bc idk how to write Grace I'm just here for that sweet sweet Rinch stuff

Harold is eating breakfast with Grace in her kitchen – he can't think of her home as his home – when his phone vibrates. It's a text from the machine. It's a surprise, she barely contacted him since... He blocks the thoughts and the images coming to his mind. The machine sent him a picture. When he opens it, his heart misses a beat. Right here on his screen is a silhouette he thought he would never see again. His phone vibrates again. Another picture, this time it's unmistakably John, wearing his signature suit, Bear next to him. Transfixed, he stares at his phone until he feels Grace gently touching his arm. She goes straight to the point.

"Is it John ?" He looks up in confusion, but before he can say anything, she adds, "I hear you call him in your sleep every night."

"It's him, yes." He doesn't want to explain. He only wants to see John, to touch him, to tell him how much he loves him.

"You should go back to him. I like you, Harold. I am deeply relieved to see you alive. But I've been thinking, and... It's not working. This, us... You aren't really the man I fell in love with, the man I grieved... I can't trust you anymore." She doesn't say 'You lied to me' but Harold hears it all the same.

~

Harold sits on their bench. The machine indicated John often comes here. Soon enough, his arms are full of Bear, and John is standing in front of him.

"John. How are you ?" he asks when Bear finally calms down.

"Busy. And you ?"

Harold eyes him suspiciously – John once said he was busy when he was bleeding and way too close to death – but he seems to be well.

"I'm fine." He doesn't have time for awkward small talk." I thought you were dead. Why didn't you contact me ?"

"The machine told me you were with Grace. I thought you wanted to come back to your previous life. I didn't want to crash into it and ruin what you had."

Harold wants to be angry at him, but he understands. He did the same with Grace.

"You would never ruin anything. Besides, my relationship with Grace... didn't survive my lies. She's very dear to my heart, but she's a part of my previous life, as you said."

"So you came back for the machine, and the numbers, like the good old times ?"

Harold gets up from the bench.

"I came back for you. You are an important part of my life. The most important part."

John smiles, finally. He takes a step towards Harold, they're so close they could kiss. Harold reaches out, grips his shirt and slowly inches closer. He's still afraid of being rejected but John wraps his arm around him and kisses him. The kiss is over too soon. John's smile is even wider when they part.

"You're the most important part of my life too," he says before kissing Harold again. "You will stay ?"

"Always."

Damn I live for sappy Rinch stuff.

Bitches decided that Harold saying "always" is peak Rinch. It's me I'm bitches.

Also ofc I had to make a reference to number crunch, who do you think I am

Anyway. I hope you have a good day ! 💛

#half valid anon

[flynnspeaks]

Flynn Marathons Doctor Who, Part 11

(for anyone needing caught up–I’m doing a watch of Doctor Who from the very beginning of the show, bingewatching it by episode instead of by serial (which I find to be closer to the original spirit of the episodes, albeit still nothing like it at all), and then doing a writeup roughly every three serials or so)

Continuing Season 4, starting up the Troughton era:

The Power of the Daleks: Stunning. Absolutely brilliant. Gripping and tense, with a marvelous build-up over the first five episodes to the unrelentless action of the sixth. The Daleks are fascinating here--if I’m right, this is the first episode that really establishes how dangerous even one Dalek can be. Before this, we’ve understood them as galaxy-conquering terrors, but it was always in groups. Here, just one Dalek is enough to send the Doctor into a panic.

The story is well-liked enough, so I’ve only a few things to add: I like how Whitaker essentially structures the story as a two-parter leading into a four-parter, with the first episode spent mostly dealing with the regeneration (which is of course handled sublimely, both in the writing and Patrick’s performance (and I love the detail of Ben being suspicious and Polly just going with it)) and the second with Lesterson reviving the Dalek--all of course leading to the Dalek recognizing the Doctor, conclusively confirming Troughton as our new hero, and the iconic “I am your servant” cliffhanger. Other minor things: interesting that Whitaker brings back the whole “Daleks run on static electricity” detail, which for the most part was forgotten after “Dalek Invasion of Earth”. Also interesting that two of Troughton’s recurring lines (”When I say run...” and “I would like a hat like that”) come from this serial, which I didn’t know.

I also love how the story deals with the rebels, effectively showing how revolutions are so easily co-opted by fascist militants (who in the story are in turn co-opted by the uberfascist Daleks). It’s a surprisingly smart depiction of revolution that is unsettling and relevant today.

So yeah. Marvelous story. By far the best in the series so far.

The Highlanders: So the first three episodes left me kinda bored--not that I felt they were bad, but they weren’t particularly engaging and I wasn’t enjoying the story as much as I had previous historicals. Then the fourth episode happened, and honestly I kinda dug it. The story ended up in some directions I wasn’t expecting, and made the first three more interesting in hindsight. I enjoy the supporting cast, and the reversal of Grey seeming like a good guy, getting the Doctor and his friends out of trouble, but turning out to be a slave trader for the West Indies plantations (and then Perkins turning on him in the end was deeply satisfying).

One of the things I did like about the story from the getgo was how no-nonsense Polly was--from the outset getting out of trouble and preferring action over sitting and waiting to be rescued. In particular her and Kristy capturing Algernon was fantastic, as was his eventual arc in helping them out in the end. I dunno, in general this was a fun little outing, and I think a fine sendoff to one of the more odd facets of Doctor Who’s early days.

(one thing though: I think Episode 1 of this has possibly the lamest cliffhanger in all of Doctor Who, in which Polly is threatened by someone with a knife, only to find in the next episode that it was Kristy...the girl she had been travelling with nearly the whole episode. It’s the cliffhanger equivalent of that horror movie “it’s a jump scare but it’s a cat!” cliche)

The Underwater Menace: Love it. Balmy in the most wonderful ways--”we get the fish people to go on strike!” is one of those lines of dialogue that just makes me happy to be a Doctor Who fan. It helps that this is the first story in the Troughton era to have existing episodes, so you get to actually watch Troughton perform--of course, he’s absolutely magnetic. Always compelling, making active choices with the material and playing off of others brilliantly--his early scenes opposite Zaroff are a particular highlight.

About the only problem I actually have with the story are the companions--Ben is great as usual, and over the past few serials has had a remarkably consistent, interesting character, but Polly’s character changes constantly depending on the needs of the writers. It’s really obvious when you’re watching them in context--last serial Polly was no-nonsense, clever, and conniving; here she suddenly becomes a peril monkey. It’s inordinately frustrating that the female characters continue to be wholly inconsistent like this (meanwhile, Jamie weirdly doesn’t get a lot in the story, mostly shining in the TARDIS bookends).

Outside of that, I can see why this story was hated for such a long time, but like “The Web Planet” it’s just so damned crazy I can’t help but love it. Disgraced scientists in the near-future hidden deep underwater in the Lost City of Atlantis, living off of plankton and trying to blow up the world for the sheer marvel of it? Brilliant (I want to emphasize--I really love the detail that Zaroff wants to blow up the world just for the scientific marvel of it. That’s a fascinating detail that gives interesting layers underneath the copious amounts of ham Furst imbues him with).

Speaking of Furst actually, I don’t mind the camp here--the whole point is that Zaroff is clearly unhinged but everyone is too superstitious to take notice of it, so the ham kind of works. There’s a fantastic moment where the Doctor tells Theos to watch Zaroff’s eyes, and a scene later you see Theos start to see what the Doctor is talking about when he talks to Zaroff. Plus I mean, look, “NOTHING IN ZEH WORLD CAN STOP ME NOW” is fucking fantastic. Nah, this story’s great fun, with a ton of interesting concepts. To me, this stort of story is exactly what Doctor Who is for.

#doctor who #classic who #second doctor #patrick troughton #flynn marathons doctor who