#can’t remember which one tho

[sanchoyo]

haven’t been on much bc my dog has been sick :( between seizures and an infected tooth we’ve been having a Time trying to get everything fixed (this started around the holidays so our vet has been very booked up…we have been like 3-4 times in the past 4-5 weeks OTL does not help it’s like an hour drive there, so that’s been exhausting) now his new seizure meds are making him sick (was hoping it was like, just an adjustment period thing but he’s been sick for a week and having concerning symptoms…) if I’m not on a ton or slow to replying to messages it’s bc I’m working as much overtime as my job will give me bc Vet Expensive and mentally drained obvi 😞

#it makes me a lil mad his meds were kinda pricy and they literally are making things worse. like sure he isn’t have seizures but he can #barely walk and keeps running into things and keeps having diarrhea so like. 🙃 and the meds are making him sooo hungry and thirsty #I’m seeing the vet AGAIN FRIDAY I know she’s so sick of me but man my little guy. if she can’t figure out a combo that doesn’t have such #bad side effects I’m literally going to scream and cry #he’s the most sensitive boy in the world and my mental health hangs on his and my cats well being. please. 😭 #sanchoyorambles #I’ve also called them like twice to find out if I should stop or what they want me to do and keep getting ‘oh they’ll call u back’ WHEN #GIRL MY PUBBY #if I don’t hear back before his next dose I’m just gonna make an executive decision myself to stop them for now #he’s literally on the smallest possible dose too bc he’s so little. so. they can’t go down in dosage they’ll need to put him on smth else 😑 #which means paying for ANOTHER PRESCRIPTION A WEEK AFTER ALREASY GETTING ONE THAT WAS $30 ON TOP OF HIS STUPID VET BILL #screaming. #and like if I have the money it’s fine. and it’s not like the vet could’ve known he’d have bad side effects #im just frustrated it’s no one’s fault #I could go to a closer vet. the thing is I LIKE the one further away #they have the only groomer I’ve found that can trim him without sedating him! they send me reminders abt his shots! I like the vibes!!! #they seem caring!! but they are always SOOO BUSY it takes forever to make appointments or to hear back from them 😭 #remember how I said one of my goals was to buy a vechicle this year lmao the vet bills are draining any savings I’ve managed to build up 🤧 #my pets are priority 1 tho like even before all the medical stuff /I/ need like lol… that’s my baby #it’s just really bad timing. not that there’s good timing for medical issues but. u know

[thelunarbar]

Patience - Icemav

-/-/-/-

The bedroom is perfect. Maverick can’t help but smile as he puts the finishing touches on the bed. The bedspread is a dark purple with pink and blue flowers and leaves and little orange foxes all over it. The sheets are soft purple, one pillow case matches them while the other matches the comforter. He places a stuffed fox and a stuffed brown dog at the head of the bed.

Several months ago they even repainted the walls(a pale peachy color) to give them more character, and bought a rug for the floor, one of those super fuzzy ones that’s neon green. They had strung fairy lights up across the ceiling and had filled a three shelf bookcase with picture books and easy readers.

They’re preparing for the little girl they’re fostering and hoping to adopt. She’s four. Her parents both died in a car accident and no other family has been found yet.

“It looks perfect, baby.” Mav turns to see Ice standing in the doorway, smiling.

“You think so?” Mav glances around and Ice can sense his anxiety. He steps into the room and wraps his arms around Mav’s waist.

“She’s going to love it.” Ice tells him, tightening his grip and pressing a kiss to Mav’s temple. Mav turns so he can wrap his arms around Ice.

They’d become foster parents roughly two years ago(they were also on several adoption agencies’ lists), but had yet to be given a placement. Until yesterday when they’d finally received the call. There was a little girl named Josie in need of a home and could they take her in? There was no hesitation in their reply. Absolutely.

And now she was going to be there within the hour.

“Have you figured out what to make for dinner yet?” Mav asked, words muffled as he spoke into Ice’s chest.

“Alfredo with broccoli and chicken. And bread.” Mav nodded and Ice rubbed his back. “Speaking off, I should go get started on it.” He pressed another kiss to Mav’s temple before letting him go. Ice heads for the door, stopping when he notices Mav still standing in the middle of the room. “Come on. No more fiddling. It’s perfect.” He grabs Mav’s hand and pulls him out of the room.

In the kitchen Ice starts to prep dinner while Mav sits on the counter, kicking his legs and tapping on the counter.

Ice’s phone rings. He wipes his hands on the dish towel over his shoulder before pulling it out of his pocket. He contemplates the number for a moment before answering it.

“Hello? Speaking.” He’s quiet and Mav watches intently. “Oh. No, no, of course. That’s wonderful.” Ice frowns, a serious contrast to his words and turns so his back is to Mav, “no, no, we completely understand. Yes. Of course. We’re always willing.” He ends the call and lets his arm fall limp. He throws his phone on the counter and grabs the edge of the counter with both hands.

“Ice?” Nothing. “Tom?” Mav is getting concerned now. He slides off the counter and steps up beside Ice. “Tom, what’s going on?”

“They found her grandparents.” Ice says, voice just above a whisper. “She’s not coming.” Mav feels his heart sink to his stomach. A lump forms in his throat.

“Oh.” Is all he manages to say. “Well, well that’s good.” He forces the words out. Hating how much he doesn’t want to say them. Because it is good they found her real family, but he’d been so ready to take care of her and love her like his own.

“Pete-” Ice turns, but Mav has already left the kitchen.

Unsurprisingly Ice finds Mav in Josie’s bedroom. He’s sitting in the bed, the stuffed dog in his lap, he’s rubbing its ear between his thumb and forefinger.

“Pete. . .” Ice says as he enters the room. “You’re allowed to be upset she isn’t coming.” He tells Mav, kneeling on the floor between his knees.

“I’m a horrible person.” Mav says softly, refusing to look at Ice. “I know it’s a good thing they found her real family to take her in, but I can’t help being upset she’s not coming.”

“You’re not a horrible person. You have every right to have been excited she was coming and be upset that she’s not.” Ice rests his hand on Mav’s knee and rubs gently with his thumb.

“Maybe it just won’t happen for us.” Mav says, voice cracking.

“We still have time.” Ice assures him. “It’ll happen. We just have to be patient.” He continues rubbing Mav’s knee. “And in the meantime we have Bradley.” Well, they kind of have Bradley. He’s not a speaking terms with Mav at the moment, but he’s still talking to Ice.

“It’s taken us twenty one years of being together to even be allowed to hold hands in public.” Mav protests, grip tightening on the stuffed dog. “I don’t want to wait anymore to start our family.”

“I know patience isn’t your strong suit, but I promise, baby, this will happen for us.” Ice brings his other hand up to rest on Mav’s cheek. “We’re on all the lists. There will be another call.” Mav closes his eyes and lets the first tears fall.

“I was so ready to take care of her.” He murmurs.

“I know, baby.” Ice brushes the tears off his cheek. “I know.” He stands and pulls Mav against his chest. Mav wraps his arms around Ice’s middle and fists the fabric of his shirt and both hands. Ice feels tears prick his own eyes and holds Mav tighter.

And even though they both know there will be another call, no doubt more than one, that doesn’t make their current pain go away.

#top gun #pete maverick mitchell #tom iceman kazansky #mine mine mine #mine #rie writes #my fic #angst #based loosely on an episode of Dharma & Greg #I can’t remember which one tho #icemav #and as always unbetad so all mistakes are mine please disregard #never fear I am planning a sequel with a much happier ending #patience series

[trickarrows-bishop]

ava ghostwrote this

bro stained glass is fucking LIT tbh

#so basically the idea of it came around when the bible was still in latin right #and the only people who were able to read it were the priests. so they put the windows up #and each like pane of glass tells a different story from the bible so that those who could not read it could still remember the stories !! #later on it was changed so that every copy was like in the country’s own language tho #and there was this whole debate to get rid of all of the decorations in the church #i can’t remember like which christianity it is but one like got rid of everything as it was then classed as a distraction from prayer #including those cool ass windows <//3 #anyways that’s what ik abt stained glass windows from my religious studies lessons ur welcome

[prisonpodcast]

There are multiple October challenge thingies I want to do but I’m so busy these past few days I don’t have the time 😭 hopefully next week my schedule clears up a bit

#I wanted to do more of those first try techno challenges and also loyals rivals duo thing #but noooooo I have to study for my math tests instead #and my psych quiz which I did today and i think I only got one wrong ??? #I mean idk I think I got the question right but everyone around me was saying I got it wrong #i can’t even check my notes to see really bc I don’t remember exactly how the question was phrased #but I still think I got it right idk 😭 but I don’t wanna seem to cocky and end up being wrong #100% on that quiz would be nice tho #.___.

[awek-s-archived]

i need to keep reminding myself to keep taking comfort in the fact that people who are better and smarter and kinder than me like and love and appreciate me and that the Internet and its variation of social interaction has hugely affected a lot of people to the point of becoming uneducated and limited in their beliefs and close minded and that the wave of obsession with other people and hypocrisy (at an above average level) and gaslighting and cruelty is a path I have to keep making an active choice not to follow as someone who is so active on socials like this one .. I’m grateful to have friends and mutuals who constantly look out for me and educate me and talk to me and remind me of who I am in an age and platform like this .

#I’ve been doing a lot of self reflecting tho u probably can’t tell bc what I post here is maybe 15% of what actually goes on in my brain at #all times. but I think knowing the people I do has made all the difference in the way that I handle myself and I just have to keep #remembering that I’m not a bad person nor am I an overwhelmingly good one #I’m just normal but the Internet doesn’t function in averages it’s all extremes all the time and it can definitely have an effect on you #umm so this is a love letter to the mutuals ig esp the ones in my dms rn which I WILL reply to I promise #aweks.txt

[priestfrommidnightmass]

trying to learn how to not to be defensive when accused of having a crush on someone i absolutely have a crush on as the last time this happened i accidentally called my friend a dead weight faggot. so

#got accused today and i think i just like #laughed #which is certainly an improvement #i can’t remember what i said tho i’m just. #i don’t know. why was everyone able to clock this one so easily

[akkivee]

nurusara’s division rep battle yokohama version feat. guest announcer rosho and guide juto????? 🤔

#this is vee speaking #the arb chronicles #i have no idea lol we have to wait until the event #it’ll be nice if we get rosho and juto actually conversing this time tho lol #i can’t remember if we found out sasara has a youtube via the 2gumi fantasy event or not #but since juto is a gamer and rosho’s becoming one i saw people suggest it’s video game related lol #which would be fun lol we could either get victorious rosho juto teamwork #or an epically loud face off between them lol #with sasara commentating their battle!!!! #and maybe whoever wins has to face sasara as a final boss since it’s his channel lol but that’s enough scenario crafting outta me lol

[lilgynt]

still sobbing my eyes so never having a weed free night again

#personal #my door got caught on my laundry basket and crutches and i crashed against the walker i got my dad #and i want to yell at my brother how awful he is - which? either of them but mainly the broken door one #but i’ve done that and it doesn’t change anything let alone how i feel #and i wish my mom understood but she just hates me #and she can say she doesn’t and she buys me gifts but then hangs it over my head bc we’re broke #but it’s like i’m in the wrong for my brother violently breaking my door and then is upset i’m upset he still hasn’t fixed it #and this only came up bc she bought me a door accessory. BUT WOULDNT LET ME BUY A DOOR WHEN IT Orginally broke #like life is fine and all till i’m sober and remember my family is actually doesn’t like me and is super mean to me #and i feel like i’m so burnt out from everything i can’t even think about moving out #even tho i said fuck it that one time a few months ago #and i can’t move in with either of my brothers bc they’ve deeply hurt me and i can’t trust them like that #like do i think i would be safe with them and they would house me yes without question #do i think i would sooner kill myself over the pride issue of them constantly treating me like shit i can’t imagine living with #or being thankful to them while still feeling like #i don’t even know what i feel other than not liked or respected by my family #i know it’s lack of weed period and then just also generally living a bad life and having bad family relations but oh my god #gun to the back of my head rn please. please. #but in all seriousness first night i’ve been like huh. i could definitely buy a gun. really bad since the whole dad situation #like other night i punched a mirror when i got charged from my dentist from something two years ago with no warning. no notice #like 200 bucks. so. i already dealt with that it’s some insurance shit im seeing if i can do payments or whatever but never fucking working #with them again. didn’t even answer my question on why i wasn’t given any notices when i had them send me the bill and insurance claims

[theofficialpeanutgallery]

Watching something for my historical geology class and started screeching when they mentioned the hedgehog gene. I was like, “wait, I remember researching chicken beaks and reptile snouts, isn’t there a sonic hedgehog gene out there?” And yeah, these guys discovered and named it working with chicken embryos. Apparently Sonic Hedgehog is responsible for most development patterns during embryo development. Specifically for limbs. And apparently if it’s a little too concentrated, you can get extra digits on all your limbs.

What I’m saying is, I think I figured out how Ford has six fingers on each hand. Man was stuck in the multiverse when we put the pieces together, though.

“Why am I so weird?” Sonic hedgehog, bro. Next question.

#this is half an ‘omg science’ post #half an ‘omg. SCIENCE.’ post #and half a fandom post #gravity falls #(mentioned) #science #sonic hedgehog (the gene) #not to be confused with sonic the hedgehog. after which the gene was named bc scientists are NERDS #i can’t believe i freaking forgot they named a gene sonic hedgehog smh. shame on me i should’ve remembered that glorious fact #legit tho for this documentary the main paleontologist guy visited this family where one kid had six digits on all his limbs #and i’ve been in a big gravity falls mood for a while #so I immediately went ‘well i know what i’m posting about today!’ #science post #peanut’s college adventures #hi i’m still alive i just have lots of classwork and field studies and undergraduate research and no adderall :3c #got into minecraft java edition too. somehow. (it’s all the hermitcraft i’ve been watching)

[inkykeiji]

๐·°(৹˃̵﹏˂̵৹)°·๐

#tw clari overshares #whew those trauma flashbacks eh????? #so much fun :) love it when my own brain assaults me :) #(i’m being sarcastic if that wasn’t obvious lmao) #honestly i’m not usually one to vent here but the past few days have been so fucking rough in terms of flashbacks #and i just >.< #i dunno i guess i wanted to scream into the void about it for a moment #it sucks so bad #i’m trying so hard to distract myself but they just barge through and harass me #like please leave me alone i do not WANT to remember #the worst is like the fucking visceral reactions your body has in response #flooded with adrenaline and anxiety very suddenly #like so much that my limbs tingle and feel extremely heavy like i can’t lift them or move even tho they’re screaming at me to #yeah #that #anyway i have to visit my dad tomorrow LMAO #which is really just the cherry on top isn’t it #bleh #hoping by monday i can concentrate enough to get some stuff done :((( #pls take care and stay safe friends <3 #i wish touya would just beat the shit out of everyone who’s abused me ._. #a terrible thought i know #tw trauma #just in case yk

[wiiwarechronicles]

do u know about fundy's skin change ^_^ i have no idea if its lore related or not but either way. guy

I DO!! There’s a 99% chance it’s for a video he’s working on :J it’d be funny if it was for dsmp stuff but I kind of doubt it! That’s okay though I love his videos immensely. Oh guy how much I miss you

#THANKS FOR THE ASK THOUGH SERENA #his skins are always so weird and silly . rose said it was a martial arts uniform! can’t remember which one rose said specifically tho #infizero #maidsmop

[azurecake16]

Does anyone else remember they one post (from mabye a month or two ago) where some one went “we need to post cringe to defend against twitter users”

And it just immediately went to Mcyt shit. Not like cool fan art, but genuinely hilariously weird stuff?

#dream smp #mcyt #twitter #it was a lot of Wilbur #can’t remember which ones tho #but yeah #that was a Time tm

[diazpoems]

PLS my gym trainer named our team for this challenge we’re doing for two months team Maniac and I thought there was something familiar about the profile pic she put as our group chat and Y’ALL

IT’S SKZ’S ALBUM FONT

#bear talks #also she told me she liked kpop earlier when I pointed out some group on the tv in the gym (can’t remember which one tho) so like #idk that’s cool #she’s super nice too #and at first I thought she was naturally super extroverted like the other trainers but she actually used to be pretty #ppl averse and shy like me so she’s been rlly understanding when we do group stuff and doesn’t mind if I kinda #cling to her side like a barnacle since I don’t know everyone that well

[maldito-arbol]

It’s time for Mal to Talk in the tags again because I’m too tired to do homework or write so I’m gonna use my energy for this

#ranting online is kinda therapeutic since I can’t get therapy? ok so I just wanted to mention this and ramble #i about cried talking to my himbo friend over the phone the other day because he told me. the day I read that chapter (well. 1/4 of it) #to my discord server in the vc he came in and checked on me a few times and he said he hasn’t seen me look that happy in so long and it #hurts because I had to end that event early because I couldn’t breathe but I had so much fun talking to ppl and doing the reading bc I get #✨dramatic✨ and shit and yknow overall it was just such a great experience except for the not breathing part (the gods are punishing me for #the Bye Bye Air Collar from WJH) and anyway it just reminded me all over again how Unhappy I am constantly. i have spent my entire life #being treated like complete dirt by family and friends and bosses and coworkers and classmates and everyone under the sun so the second i #feel appreciated by Anyone I break into tears it’s So Bad. so like I enjoy going to work because even tho it’s so tiring and it’s so hard #dealing with customers sometimes I love it anyway because like. i feel appreciated there. by my boss and a handful of coworkers at least. #and that’s so much better than being in this house and feeling like I’m the devil’s spawn all over again sent to ruin everybody’s life by #merely existing. so work is a double-edged sword because it’s another source of Pain but it’s ALSO an escape which is Totally Healthy but #then there’s my fanfics. writing what I wanna write and sharing it with you guys and tormenting you and my blorbos is a kind of happiness I #will never find anywhere else. reading that to the server was one of those moments of pure euphoria even if I was plagued by Stage Fright #at the same time. so yeah. it really really really deepens my already horrid depression that I can’t write and I can’t release content rn #bc it means that source of pure happiness is gone with it and I’m left feeling all worthless again. idk how to fix all this. idk if I can. #I’m just so so so tired;;;;; #i forgot where I was going with this I feel like I keep repeating myself but anyway that’s all for now I’m gonna go see if I can cry #oh! one more thing. i haven’t talked to my Blood Family (apart from my sisters and Rarely my dad) SINCE I GOT KICKED OUT but last night my #aunt called me and we talked about my mother and she had a breakdown to me over the phone so I remembered all over again what it was like #living with my mother and maybe realized I never actually processed any of that trauma. it’s all just coming pouring out thru my writing. #all the Abuse themes going on in CMTO? 100% projection so sorry u had to witness this guys 💜 but anyway she told me I rlly helped validate #her own feelings and apologized for crying to me ab this but I told her what I tell everyone—that Crying Is Good For The Soul #and maybe that’s why I’ve been crying so much lately. because I need to. and I need to stop holding everything in. my friends are genuinely #worried and I somehow convinced myself that they have better things to do than listen to my whining. so anyway I’m gonna go cry 💜 #for self care purposes. ok done for real this time see y’all soon next time I decide to rant in the tags again #mal rants

[brutal-out-here]

Oh I have a terrible idea

#raineyrambles #this is about the Loki book #something about Ivy going back to her original timeline/one similar to it technically #and then going done the path of crossing paths with certain Norse gods one way or another #I can’t tell which would be worse #her remembering everything or her not remembering anything at all #if the latter id make it to where the readers are constantly reminded of what already happened tho #this looks like something that would take me literally forever to finish #but why am I kinda excited about it lol #but also at the same time I’m going to hmhatw writing eps 4 & 5 aren’t I? #because I’m gonna want to write the insane stuff sooner #my writing #writing #I’m just writing shit as I think of it here