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#can’t wait for college tbh I’m so done with this bs
silvurgalaxies · 6 years
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I have finally have Spring Break!
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we-want-mini-mini · 4 years
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Since I have no self restraint, I’m writing another prompt/one shot.
Essentially, normal girl Lia (or some OC) whose a big fan of DC comics and the like ends up in a weird inter dimensional accident and ends up in the DC universe (it can be a mix of canon because fuck canon, up to you).
But, where did Lia end up exactly? Fucking Gotham.
The moment she realizes this is decides: Nope. Nah. Nada. No sir-y. This is NOT happening. Fuck this. I might end dying, or, worse, BECOME A FUCKING MAIN CHARACTER IN THE BAT CLAN. NAH. HELL NO.
Lia decides that, no, she will not involve herself in the Bat Clan/Wayne’s at all. Nope. Nah. Too much drama. Too much angst. Too much fucking skin tight suits and my poor Pan heart can’t TAKE all the HOT, RIPPED hero’s like what the fuck.
Now, this can play out in a variety of ways:
Lia is, say, around the same age as one of the Batboys. It can be any of them, up to you. Now, she some how ends up in Gotham Acdemy and begrudgingly befriends them. Cue angst (especially if its Jason. Considering in canon, if Jason survives he becomes Red Robin thats all I know lmao). If Lia is friends with the second Robin, it’d bring up the deliemma of: does she tell him that he’s gonna fucking die and then come back to life. Oh and, she’s actually from an alternate world were everyone thats like a superhero/vigilante is a fictional character. Honestly, if done well, can definitely stir the feelings of the poor saps who read the moral deliemma of Lia. Now, who is Lia? Someone who doesn’t want to get involved. If she avoids Jason in the beginning, does she have doubts and wants to warn Batman of Jason impending death or not? Like, that sort of shit panic attack inducing. There’s a lot of things you guys can do to torture not only Lia, but also the readers who might be like: “TELL HIM! TELL HIMMMMM!!!” or, “fuck, even I don’t know what I’d do” and etc. There’s a lot of leeway.
They are grown, and are in college (let’s say the events of Death in The Family happened and everything surrounding Red Robin striking out to find Bruce whose lost in time). This Lia is much older, recently graduated from college and currently interns for Wayne Enterprises. See, Lia is just another intern in a global colgomerate cooperation, there’s no way she’d ever run into any of the Wayne’s. None at all. But. But. She does. Some how she becomes the Executive Assistant to Tim (he once saw how she managed an entire fucking department’s schedule even though a group of people spontaneously quit. She was able to somehow salvage that shit in under three hours. And, Tim might or might not have fallen slightly in love with her—). Lia, now, a fresh 20-something year old, is now the Executive Assistant to another 20-something year old who happened to run one of the most rich and powerful companies in the entire world holy shit. Now, we follow the adventures of Lia, whose now one of the most powerful persons in the entire company (and proxy the world, I guess 🤷🏻‍♀️). Lia, let’s say, is a fucking god at manipulating people, making connections, accounting and management, and also a Very Tired Recently Graduate of GU. She, cannot, and will not deal with the constant bullshit that the Bats pull regularly. So, Lia can either passive aggressively hint that, yeah Tim, you definitely got that broken arm from a golf accident. Oh hey, I also heard the Red Robin foughy Killer Croc and also sported a broken left arm like you! What a coincidence, right? And she’d say this with a straight face. Tim knows that she knows, and Lia knows that Tim knows and yeah. Alternatively, she could outright tell him: “look, Tim, I swear to god, if you put off another meeting without a day notice just because some gang member got the better of you.” “Wait, gang member—?” “—do NOT interrupt me. Look, I know Bruce Wayne is Batman. Not the whole, ‘Bruce Wayne and Batman are the same person! The butts match!’ type of thing. I know he is Batman, you Red Robin, Dick Grayson is Nightwing, Red Hood is the weirdly alive Jason Todd, etc etc. There’s no point in feigning the fact that I don’t know. Because, I do.” They stare at eachother for a bit, and Tim falls just a little more in love. “How... Actually it’s dumb to ask you how you know, but, how long?” “Good tactic to ask me how long I’ve know instead of how I know. But, to answer your question: I’ve know since I was around...” THE FRAME FREEZES now, should Lia say 8, since, technically, she’s know since she was 8 that Bruce Wayne is Batman, considering the whole parallel universe thing. Or, does she say 18, the age in which she arrived into this world? Now, that decision can prompt many things to happen. For one, if Lia says 8, Tim is gonna be so awestruck and also be dry curious. If 18, Tim is still amazed (that she knows at all). Either answer would also illicit this response: “...you’ve known for so long, yet never told anyone?” Lia shakes her head. “You guys have a secret identity for a reason. Plus, I’m not in the business of becoming a vigilante or whatever. I’ve tried my best to steer clear of all of that, in all honesty.” “Huh. Makes sense. Wait. Then... why did you start working at WE, if you knew our identities?” Lia stares at him like he’s grown three heads. “Dude. This is WE. One of the most powerful companies out there, why wouldn’t I work here? But, the ither fact of the matter is that I didn’t expect to become your fucking Executive Assistant. Like, I couldn’t just deny the offer, my mother would’ve disowned my ass the second she heard I turned down such a prestigious position.” Lia shuddered. “Fuck, I can hear her curse me out in like, five different languages.” Let’s also say, at one point or another, Lia’s mother arrives, and say, is the most terrifying person Tim has ever met (and Tim’s faced off against Ra’s al Ghul, a functionally immortal man with a fucking army of highly trained assassin at his disposal).
Lia is tame honest to god tame compared to her mother (if her mother is like, 5’3”, that’s even more hilarious tbh). Essentially, if Lia’s older and somehow become Executive Assistant to Tim (or Bruce, because, fuck canon) it would be so god damn funny (read “The Executive Assistant To Batman” in which Tim nene became Robin but still knows the identities of the various Gotham vigilantes. Oh, and, he’s the Executive Assistant to Batman. It’s so fucking hilarious and y’all gotta check it out. It’s on AO3).
Number 2, is a lot more light hearted compared to the moral deliemma of Number 1 (as, is Lia is the same age as Robin!Jason, and knows that he’s gonna die, but she also doesn’t want to get involved with the vigilantes presents a very large problem). Number 1 is great for angst and a character study for this OC. Number 2, is a more light hearted, fun scenario (as it avoids the can of worms called “Do I Warn the Bats of Robin!Jasons impending death or not because I honestly don’t want to get involved with the Bat.”.
I, personally, would love to read Number 2 (please make Lia, or whatever OC, a god damn Tired of Your Bullshit, amazing assistant to the CEO of WE, competent af and very, Very Tired of the Bats BS, and, PR is Going To Skin Me Alive and Roast Me Over A Flame). Maybe some drama, angst sprinkled in (there’s the blatant fact that, Lia is a completely different world. One that has superhero’s, aliens, magic and so, so much more. The fact that she’s in her doppelgänger’s body could cause some dissociation/body dysphoria and that sort of stuff. It’s a great opportunity for a character study for Lia/your OC).
Regardless of you choose 1 or 2, the basic premise is:
Some rando kid (or young adult, whichever strikes your fancy) who loves to read Batman/DC in general. Ends up in some weird ass accident that lands them in the DC universe, specifically Gotham. Everything about their pervious life and the life in his world is the same (or not, up to you), only difference is that there’s an alien powered by the Sun and that cannot he injured (unless it’s by a glowing green rock). They decide, pretty early on, that they want nothing to do with the vigilantes of Gotham (which also means they have to avoid the Wayne’s and Co, which should be ways right? Right?? Gotham is really big, I’ll probably only ever see them in passing, I’ll be fine—). But, the universe said, LOL, nope. And they end up befriending the Wayne’s somehow. The rest? Up to you. If they befriend Robin!Jason they have to cope with the moral deliemma of getting involved to save his life or not. Or, maybe this is the world where Dick is still Robin. Do we save Jason early on, or not? What about Tim? Cass? Stephanie? Or, what if, they end up in a world in which Jason died and came back, Bruce came back from being lost in the time stream and Damian is now Robin.
Essentially: OC ends up in the DC universe, specifically Gotham. Decided not to ever get in involved with the Vigilantes/Wayne’s. However, the universe said nope and they become friends with one of the Bats/Waynes regardless. Now, how the fuck do they cope?
BONUS: Lia manages to avoid the Wayne’s/Vigilantes of Gotham completely. How? She ends working for LexCorp. As Lex Luthors Executive Assistant (basically the same way as she became the Executive Assistant to Tim). Now, she has to cope with the fact that she works as the Executive Assistant for Lex fucking Luthor of all people. She can hear her mother shaking her head in Disappointment™️. She hates the universe. Also, Lex Luthor is pretty open about his Evil, Bastard Schemes with Lia for whatever reason (much to Lia’s utter fucking chargin). She discreetly sends info about these Evil, Bastard, Devious plans to the Bats. Cue her realizing that, to ensure Luthor doesn’t suspect her, she’s gotta get GOOD at hacking and computer science. And get good she does. Like, her utter fucking Done-ness over Luthors Supervillain ways and her wanted to never be found out by the Bats is like taken to Infinty in the 10 dial scale. Somehow, she manages to both avoid suspicion from Luthor (cue intense moments in which Luthor is talking to her, and he’s speaking in a weird direct way that makes Lia think he found out and she mentally plans for her subsequent “death” and fleeing of the country and when Luthor finishes his sentences it just him praising her or something else innocuous. Lia felt like the sun was lifted off her shoulders.) She’s always on edge. Her hair is slowly turning grey. Luthor notices and makes a comment and Lia simply laughs while making a underhand comment about how Luthors bald so he doesn’t need to deal with greying hairs. Lia stops laughing realizing oh shit I just insulted my boss in the most underhand way. What ghe fuck. But Luthor just laughs, much to Lia’s relief. Her hair is still greying from the stress. Anyways, she inadvertently becomes a techno vigilante that can rival the famed Oracle (let’s say, for the sake of this prompt, Lia’s code name is Reaper because she was drunk and apparently in the mind of her 13 year old self when she came up with it). Reaper’s name is slowly growing, as Lia does some other stuff with her new found skills in hacking. She mostly helps the Bats by giving them crucial info on Luthors dealings and the like.
One day, she realizes, that, oh shit. I became the one thing swore I’d never become. What type of Shakespearean shit is my life—
If someone does the situation in which Lia/their OC becomes Luthor Executive Assistant and then inadvertently becomes a Vigilante themselves because, sure, they don’t want to get involved, but, fuck Luthor and Eat the Rich. Also, I would love it if said fic included the most stress inducing scenes were it seems like Luthor found out about Lia and the whole Reaper situation but he actually DIDN’T and Lia is here like, sweating god damn bucks while her hair slowly falls out. Please. Write this shit. It would be
✨Immaculate✨
Anyways, hope you like this prompt/one shot because I damn well enjoyed writing it!
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ziracona · 4 years
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How many people were tested just for others anyway? Gordon's wife and daughter, Daniel (the wiki says it was also for shoplifting but he was 16 so I call bs), literally everyone except Lynn and her husband in Saw III, and my memory past 3 is fuzzy but that one lying author's wife comes straight to mind. They weren't being tested for whatever John pretended his survival of the fittest policy was they were terrorized tortured and/or killed for basically nothing but the pain of the target.
Anon you’re so valid TuT 
ITS TRUE AND WE SHOULD ALL SAY IT!!! Also, I wrote this little part last, bc I just wanted to give fair warning that I went blind into a rage and wrote threethousand words about how much I hate John Kramer, full of very terrible language and spoilers for Saw 1-6, because I go that fucking feral at the sound of his name, and I can’t make everyone scroll past that so I’m putting most of it under the cut, but even if you decide you justifiably fear that rant and don’t read it, just know you are incredibly valid, and John can eat shit and die. Rant start:
John did that bullshit constantly! He would over and over put 1 (one) man he personally wanted to watch suffer on trial and sacrifice /scores/ of people for no reason. No trap, no way to escape, at someone else’s mercy completely or maybe with 0 chance even there bc JOHN KRAMER IS A SACK OF SHIT. 
He kills a house full of drug addicts in two, mostly just bc his wife worked w drug addicts and John hates drug addicts, and even though Amanda was in their literal exact same position she does jack shit to stop him and just watches people slowly have their organs deteriorate and start coughing up blood around her!! Including fucking Daniel! Who got an antidote but like, at the 11th hour. Do y’all even understand how biology works John and CO??? If you neutralize a poison after it has deteriorated parts of organs it might save your life but itS NOT A FUCKING HEALTH POTION. Poor Daniel Matthews probably will only live to be like forty tops if he’s super lucky because of that. And he did NOTHING!!! He had shoplifted bc he was going through a teen phase but he’s like sixteen! Everyone was dumb as shit as a teenager, and most people shoplift at some point in their life! It does not earn you slow deterioration of your organs! Poor kid not only watched a man burned to death in an oven, dude have his brains blown out, girl die of prolonged organ failure, and more shit, he himself /killed/ a man as a sixteen year old child to save Amanda Young because he’s got a good heart and is a good person, and that shit is awful! It’s traumatic to kill someone at any age, but as a teenager? And then he got knocked out by her and thrown in a tiny locked safe, tied up and gagged, and kept alive by an oxygen tank in an enclosed space after that massive trauma for or AT LEAST 24 HOURS ! He did NOTHING. It was all just a long-con sacrifice to get Eric Matthews to a specific location. Eric did some real shit, but god, even after everything Daniel did for Amanda and all John’s talk of innocents, neither of them ever even tell Eric he lived! Amanda just locks him up, fights, beats him to she thinks death, and then John keeps him locked up and isolated in a cell for months, only to make him choke himself slowly in a test he doesn’t actually get to participate in to keep a friend from being electrocuted. It’s all kinds of fucked.
Even Jeff did nothing worse than be depressed and obsessive and unavailable to his kid, all Lynn did was have a boyfriend after she and he separated (and tbh the only reason John took her was bc he wanted a doctor and hated her for being one of the docs who told him he had cancer bc John is a pettyass hypocritical stupid sack of shit!) I’m VIBRATING with hatred. Lynn was just a pawn in Amanda’s test! It never mattered if she kept John alive! It only mattered if Amanda decided to fucking shoot her!!! She did her task and died and JOHN KNEW THERE WAS A HIGH PROBABILITY AMANDA WOULD KILL HER AND DID NOTHING TO STOP IT BC JOHN CARES ABOUT NO ONE BUT HIMSELF THE FUCKING WORTHLESS LITTLE WORM. 
And the other victims in 3 are a poor college student who ran over someone on accident and feels massive guilt already and served jail time for it who gets his fucking limbs and then head all twisted off while begging for his life because JOHN KRAMER IS A PIECE OF SHIT AND SO IS JEFF TBH. BUT NOT AS BIG OF ONE. The poor girl who is stung up naked in a freezer and sprayed repeatedly with water till she is encased in ice and dead literally just saw the hit and run and ran away bc she was scared!!! Not to mention Jeff’s other kid who gets kidnapped and locked up as collateral! Even if she’s not hurt that’s FUCKING TRAUMATIZING FOR A YOUNG CHILD. And Allison Kerry did nothing wrong! Amanda kills her in the Angel trap literally just bc she’s investigating them! When he targets a detective John’s always like “Ho ho he, I am putting you on trial bc you are obsessed with your work”  LIKE, BITCH NO SHE FUCKIN AINT SHE DOIN HER GODDAMN JOB AND U DON”T WANT TO GET CAUGHT YOU STUPID FUCKING WHORE I FUCKING HATE YOU SO MUCH THAT JUST LOOKING AT YOUR FACE CAUSES ME TO PRODUCE SO MUCH EXCESS EPINEPHRINE I COULD BOTTLE IT AND SAVE IT FOR LATER. I swear to god, if I had a grenade and I was in the room trapped with a still breathing John Kramer, I would kill pull the pin and take us both! FUCK I would pull the pin and then french kiss the grenade as thanks for letting me see that sack of shit go right to hell!
I don’t remember all of four bc it was really terrible, so I don’t have a lot of thoughts there except woof, but there was a lot of bullshit. Like John’s lawyer who did nothing but try to talk to him about finances enough it pissed John off got kidnapped, won his first game, and then got kidnapped again BC THAT SHIT HEAD SURE NEVER KEEPS EVEN HIS OWN GODDAMNED WORD and was made pawn in the game and then shot bc he didn’t have a chance to save himsefl!!! 
In Saw one, also, again, Adam was never being tested. He was just a pawn too. It was Gordon who got to decide to kill him or not, and ADAM LIVED TO SIX OR WHENEVER THE FUCK THE TIME WAS AND JOHN STILL LEFT HIM TO DIE BECAUSE HE”S A HYPOCRITICAL PIECE OF SHIT!!!! And he’s not interesting enough for Johns MASSIVE brainshlong that obviously is so full of right ideas and enlightenment you MICROPENISEDtrulyIDIOTIC self-centered human garbage!  He only took Adam at all bc he was there! He said the reason was Adam was pathetic! ADAM WAS DOING HIS BEST YOU CRUSTY ASS RED ROBED TURTLE LOOKIN MOTHERFUCKER. He was a freelance photographer in New Jersey in his early 20s during an economic collapse, and still nice enough to be taking care of stray cats you FUCKING sack of dogshit! 
And Gordon? All he did was tell John he had cancer! He was cheating on his wife too, but like, the reason John picked him was that!!! HE THOUGHT!! GORDON SOUNDED TOO COLD WHEN HE TOLD HIM HE HAD CANCER I FUCKING HATE JOHN KRAMER SO MUCH. John Kramer really will see someone smile not as big a smile as he thought they should have given him and be like: “Yo, is anyone going to corkscrew their eyeballs off?” and not even wait for an answer. I fuuuuukning hate him. And that little shitface thought it was somehow chill to order someone else to kill Gordon’s wife and eight year old child who had done JACK SHIT wrong ever if Gordon wasn’t willing to brutally murder a kid in his early 20s who had done nothing wrong????! WHAT THE FUCK. Mr. KRamer.. QUICK QUESTION. WHAT. THE. FUCK. You self-righteous, self-centered, pretentious, pettyass, sadistic motherfucking goddamn worthless excuse for anything!
In five he’s finally dead so I can : ) once. BUT HE STILL FUCKS UP SHIT FROM BEYOND THE GRAVE. SO I’m STILL MAD. All the people Hoffman kills are ppl John told him to, so HE STILL MOTHERFUKIN RESPONSIBLE. In 5 it’s a bunch of people responsible kind of for deaths of people in a low-income neighborhood. One guy was paid to torch an abandoned building, and eight people died in the fire, but he didn’t know anyone was there and feels terrible. He thought it was vacant, it was just arson. Another is a journalist who found out about the arson, and didn’t break the story bc guy 1’s father bribed him. There’s a fire inspector who learned the truth and was bribed by the guy’s dad not to tell too. A city planner who was bribed into selling permits for the land. And Brit, who was the girl who paid for the arson, bc she wanted to make an apartment complex, and maybe actually knew about the 8 people and might have deserved some real payback–it’s unclear???? Regardless. I want to add that the cops had been investigating, had a strong case, and were about to arrest them and hold these people accountable in a legal manner, which John knew bc HOFFMAN WAS IN HIS POCKET, and John so hated the idea of them facing justice justice, he kidnapped them. The fire inspector got dragged into saw blades by her throat and torn apart, the journalist died to a nail bomb, and the city planner got electrocuted in a bathtub. The two who made it had their arms split down the middle up to the elbow to let enough blood out to save them.  I cannot. Just.
Anyway. In six, again at DEAD JOHN WHO WON”T QUIT FUCKING EVERYTHING UP’s request, a ‘game’ is played and William Easton (one of my fave protagonists bc he’s a piece of shit but damn if he didn’t have a real glow up in forty-five minutes) is thrown into a hell circuit. 
And so, undeservingly, is like, EVERYONE he fucking knows! His janitor Hank is first up. Target for…what was it? OHhhhhh right. He smokes. That was why. That makes so much sense john I’m sorry I doubted you PSYCH I CAN"T EVEN SAY IT AS A JOKE I JUST THREW UP A LITTLE IN MY MOUTH JOHN QUICK Q? WHAT THE FUCK? oh wait it’s because your an ABSOLUTE BASTARD. You would think I would get desensitized but no. It just. It’s fuel on the flame of my rage.
William Easton and the janitor, Hank, are hooked into something that slowly tightens and crushes their ribs any time they take a breath, and whoever doesn’t die first gets to live, and poor goddamn Hank smoked so ofc he can’t outlast a healthy dude in his 30s and John crushes his ribs just to make William watch someone die. Then he makes William pick which of two people to save in trial 2. MEANING HE GODDAMN STRAIGHT UP KIDNAPPED THESE TWO TOTALLY FINE WITH EITHER DYING, IN FACT WITH THE SOUL PURPOSE BEING TO DIE bc who cares about them right John? You fucking pretentious self-righteous creep! I have a year of the Pig teddy bear I named after Peter Strahm JUST for the FUCKING satisfaction of knowing John would hate that bc he was so into year of the motherfucking pig. ANyway. Plot again. Poor file clerk at Williams firm and the poor secretary are the two targets, and literally they did jack shit!!! They work for shitty lawyers but all they do is clock in to a 9-5 and file shit!! They are literally just there to rub it in William’s face that insurance policies aren’t fair bc according to them, one of the humans is worth more than the other bc health and age, but uuuuh oohhh William the older one with health issues is p hard to kill face to face bc you know her and she has kids and the young healthy man in his early 20s family is dead and he doesn’t have friends which means according to John he is worth less bc JOHN DOES THINK YOU CAN CHOOSE BETWEEN LIVES and all of this is here just bc John somehow thought it would be fun to fucking WIN A GODDAMN “I’M RIGHT” ARGUMENT WITH A LAWYER at the expense of brutally hanging a human being with barbed wire!!! 
Sidebar–if John Kramer was a real human being, I would go yearly on a fucking pilgrimage to his grave just to SPIT on his stupid corpse. I HATE HIM SO MUCH. 
K so young man dies. Then test 3 his attorney dies too, I don’t know much about her, except she is just there to make William feel like shit and they were into each other, and she tries to kill William after he gets hurt trying to save her bc he has the key to her trap in his stomach or chest idr, but she doesn’t get the key in time and dies, and then test 4 he finds his associates strapped to a carousel with a shotgun that picks one at random and blows off their head, and has to let all but two of them get gunned down and choose which two not to kill. And again, they’re kind of shittyass lawyers, but uh. Yeah. To save two, he has to let this huge piece of metal rip through his hand, but William does it and destroys his hand to save the two he can, and suffers picking while they all beg him to pick them bc John wanted to see him suffer picking between human lives again because he’s a goddam self-centered stuck up jerk who vales human life less then admiring his ugly ass dick in the mirror every day and pretending he’s a member of Mensa, the evil utterly irredeemable sack of shit. Anyway, at the end, William has never had a chance to live or die at all! And John was literally just torturing him for fun and killed /all/ those people not even for a test for William but /solely/ to make him suffer bc human lives DON"T MATTER ONE FUCKING IOTA to JOHN SHITASS KRAMER. WHO JUST WANTED TO WIN. AN INTELLECTUAL ARGUMENT. POST-MORTEM. BECAUSE he’s THAT kind of shittyass, pretentious, sanctimonious, better than thou, always right, incapable of wrong, smartest fucking asshole in the room man!!! I bet he doesn’t ever wash his hands when he takes a piss! I KNOW IT! FUCK John Kramer! 
ANd OH! William gets killed by a kid who hates him bc he turned down their father’s insurance policy fraudulently, knowing he would die of an illness without the money. BC William was terrible. Which is /so/ great for that fucking teenager! Killing someone horribly with acid while you watch them die and their body be melted! And they beg you not to do it and apologize on the other side of bars, already beat to shit, and plead for forgiveness, and your mom begs you not to, and the dude’s sister sobs and begs you not to!!! SO GOOD! Way to go john you FUCKING CUNT, they definitely value their lives now you goddamn motherfucking souless sack of shit!
I-I don’t even have the energy to do the other Saw movies or go back over the other victims in Saw one WHO DID NOTHING WRONG. John just hated them!!! BC HIS WIFE KNEW THEM! In most cases! John just fucking hates drug addicts! OK u know what here’s the short version even if I can’t do them justice rn bc I’m pissed!!! One guy got sliced to death on razor wire for cutting when he was depressed bc John is a piece of shit, one got burned to death after walking on glass for hours bc John doesn’t believe in invisible illnesses and if you’re walking you must be healthy, oh yeah! And the fucking dude Amanda killed in her first trial was just a drug addict! Going to a recovery clinic! He never had a chance to live on his own bc the only choice was if Amanda would cut open his intestines and sift through him for a key while he was awake but too drugged to move or not, and she did! Didn’t even get to plead for his life! ANyway!!!! Fucking as far as I can tell all Zep did was work at the goddamn hospital! He WENT OUT OF HIS WAY TO BE NICE TO JOHN and told other people he was a cool dude!!! He was just a janitor!!! WHAT THE FUCK???
I just. God. I hate everything about John Kramer. The way he talks makes me so LIVID I change color like a goddamned chameleon. He is so ready to argue his stupid shitty fucking ethics with anyone who breathes in a ten mile radius. Shithead John over here will strap you to a table and make you listen to him talk about how it’s not his fault he poisoned two people and gave them one antidote and a bunch of knives and one of them came out dead, and his hands are clean and people don’t value their lives so they should die while he watches eating fucking cereal I am just–I am so glad John has cancer? Like, the idea of Saw sans John having cancer is unbearable, because I am so afraid the writers would never let him die and we would never be free of the human cancer that is John. The only human being on the planet that has ever been able to make me root for the cancer. But boy in that one and only regard, John is special.
I hate him so much it is unbelievable. Like. I can’t even put it into words. THe pure, unbridled fury I feel when I hear John say, “D’oh ho ho, but I, with these two little handies of mine, hath never pulled the gun’s trigger! Got you there! Where is your science! Where is your god! I am no murderer! I heal people! By sawing off their faces! You just do not understand, oh poor unenlightened human that you are. May you be strapped to a machete car and blessed with my wisdom  😔” I absolutely lose control of 90% of normal human functionality, and all that I have left is righteous justice and bloodlust. It’s unbelievable.
Whichever one of you god-mode-brain peeps made that post saying Eric Matthews had the hardest test in the whole Saw franchise because he had to sit and listen to John Kramer talk for two hours was a GODDAMNED HERO and if you contact me and prove the tumblr account is yours I will paypal you ten dollars and a personalized note thanking you for the joy that gave me because I just really hate John Kramer that FUCKING MUCH. I would cut off my own toes to be able to have something to shove down John Kramer’s throat to make him stop. talking.
There are a lot of things in this world I hate bc I hate things that are unjust, but I hate absolutely nothing more in the universe than a villain who is a self-righteous, hypocritical asshole who won’t even admit that what they are doing is wrong and parades as the tragic genius hero despite knowing GODDAMN well that they are a petty, shitty, hypocritical, absolute fucking MONSTER with no redeemable qualities or capacity for love. And John Kramer is at least my second least favorite character in the history of ANYTHING. Maybe my first. I’m not even sure anymore! Nasty-ass, evil, pretentious, self-righteous, shortsighted, selfish, sadistic, voyeuristic, willfully ignorant, crusty ass useless soulless garbage little SHIT.
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paperbackphoenix · 7 years
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92 questions holy shit
I was tagged by the marvellous @phoebe-does (why phoebe, why, it’s so many)
Rules: answer the 92 questions and tag 20 people
last… drink: water rip
phone call: umm my friend liv i think? asking “where tf are you”
text message: “Nearly at the top” honestly can’t remember what that meant
song you listened to: moonlight sonata by beethoven bc im a nerd
time you cried: literally today because patrick rothfuss is a fantastic writer and kvothe’s life is sad
have you.. dated someone twice: what does ‘dated’ mean?
kissed someone and regretted it: my mom oh my god, i’m joking
been cheated on: no
lost someone special: no, actually, i’ve been very lucky so far
been depressed: the emotion? yes. otherwise, no
gotten drunk and thrown up: fuck alcohol guys
list three favorite colors… colors: blue, lilac, grey (i am aware this is a shade)
in the last year, have you… made new friends: yeah!
fallen out of love: was never in it m8
laughed until you cried: absolutely
found out someone was talking about you: yeah and my friend recorded the conversation (argument) lmao
met someone who changed you: not really?
found out who your friends are: nah this past year has had like no drama whatsoever
kissed someone on your Facebook list: no, and who uses facebook anymore? look i might use the messenger app but that’s it
general… how many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life: all bar internet friends
any pets: no and i’m salty about it
do you want to change your name: not really, but if I had to i would happily
what did you do for your last Birthday: had some friends round and played games
what time did you wake up: 7am
what were you doing at midnight last night: listening to the harry potter audiobooks (my g stephen fry)
something you can’t wait for: hamilton!!!!!! hamilton at the west end in april!!!
when was the last time you saw your mom: about an hour ago?
what is one thing you wish you could change in your life: my procrastination. it would’ve saved me a lot of grief last year
what are you listening to right now: mendelssohn’s symphony no.3 (tbh if you don’t listen to classical music, you’re missing out)
have you ever talked to a person named tom: yeah its a really common ass name
something that is getting on your nerves: these questions no ummm my history coursework; i picked the one question that doesn’t fit the structure they want us to use
most visited websites: youtube and tumblr maybe?
other info about myself… mole/s: fucking hell yeah it’s all my mom’s fault
mark/s: i never usually scar but i’ve got one on my knee now from having to continuously skid across the floor in a play (dedication)
childhood dream: i’ve wanted to be loads of things. let’s say an actor
hair color: blonde, but also purple atm
long or short hair: its kind of in the middle?
do you have a crush on someone: no, thank fuck. i just see people and think how painfully attractive they are and that they probably aren’t gay
what do you like about yourself: my creativity
piercings: i have 2 on each lobe
blood type: who knows this shit
nickname: purple becky, because there are 2 becky’s in my circle of friends
relationship status: standing alone on a hill in a big flowy dress
zodiac: leo
pronouns: she/her
favorite TV show: ummmmm game of thrones is really good, but i don’t watch tv a lot
tattoos: none because you have to be 18. i’ll probs get one maybe
right or left hand: right
surgery: never
hair dyed in different color: purple, and i want to experiment more at some point in my life
sport: whats this? i played tennis for a long time but now my sport is stress
vacation: i’d love to go to scandinavia and see the northern lights. OR canada
sneakers: we call them trainers here
more general…
eating: what is this even asking? i’m not eating anything right now? i want ice cream though
drinking: water still
i’m about to: watch something with the fam I think
waiting for: college to start yikes
want: to get my alevels over and done with
get married: marriage sounds a bit shit and expensive tbh
career: editor? author? actor? idk man
hugs or kisses: hugs man they feel 10/10
lips or eyes: eyes
shorter or taller: who can be shorter than me (i’m not actually that small)
older or younger: WHAT DOES THIS MEAN? older i guess?
nice arms or nice stomach: a nice stomach that doesn’t get so fucking hungry all the time (who cares about arms?)
sensitive or loud: loud as fuck
hook up or relationship: right hook
what am i
troublemaker or hesitant: god i obey rules even if i hate them. i’m scared of getting into trouble rip
have you ever… kissed a stranger: who the fuck do you think i am
drank hard liquor: yeah, i bought my dad some spiced rum (i wanted the bottle tbh) and it fucking burned. twice. there was the rum burn and then the spice burn a few seconds later. not pleasant.
lost glasses/contact lenses: not so far. i don’t need my glasses all the time though
turned someone down: lmao yeah
sex on the first date: how dare you i am a maiden
broken someone’s heart: i doubt it, the guy was like 13 at the time
had your heart broken: no
been arrested: fucking no
cried when someone died: robb and catelyn stark
fallen for a friend: no
do you believe in… yourself: sometimes i wonder if i actually exist
miracles: not really? i’ll say “WOW THATS A MIRACLE” when its just like... idk luck?
love at first sight: nah that’s bs
santa claus: i’m not 6
kiss on the first date: depends???
other… current best friend name: elie
eye color: blue/grey
favorite movie: god idk? grand budapest hotel?
FINALLY, THE END
ok i tag: @bvkspine @boneseasonofglass @kat-from-minasmorgul @beckisbookshelf @word-stuck @teaandalotofbooks @happybibliosaurus
i’m... not tagging 20 people soz
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neoxnocturne · 7 years
Note
Do 1-60 you hecker
Well since you asked so nicely (and since I know nobody else is gonna ask me any questions), I guess I’ll do all of them and ruin the fun.
1) Put your iTunes on shuffle. Give me the first 6 songs that pop up.
Well, I don’t have iTunes, so I’m just going to use SoundCloud and shuffle my likes:
Varsity - So Sad, So SadDaughters of Eve - Hey LoverAngel 2 Me - Mcay Kim & Jeff BernatNgoize - Thick as ThievesOlmos - Hold MeSayuw - Konnichiwa
2) If you could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be?
I’m not really sure actually, I don’t really have anyone famous that I look up to. What the hell, let’s just go with Bill Nye, he’s a cool guy.
3) Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 23, give me line 17.
”Wow!” (I’m not even joking)4) What do you think about most?
Computer parts, money, Gundam, money to buy computer parts, living in Japan, did I mention computer parts?
5) Ever had a poem or song written about you?
Not that I know of.
6) Do you have any strange phobias?
Nothing strange I’d say. I have a phobia of needles and things that would pierce my skin, but that doesn’t sound odd.
7) What's your religion?
I’m not religious.
8) If you are outside, what are you most likely doing?
Probably just sunbathing or reading.
9) Simple but extremely complex. Favorite band?
Uh... I have a favorite composer does that count? (Hiroyuki Sawano)
10) What was the last lie you told?
What kind of memory do you think I have??
11) Do you believe in karma?
Not really, it seems unrealistic. Doesn’t mean that I’m against it being enforced.
12) What does your URL mean?
Literally, just my username that I use for everything. Gotta change it soon too so colleges don’t realize I’m a loser.
13) What is your greatest weakness; your greatest strength?
I can’t relate well with others??; I can adapt easily and can become proficient in any skill pretty quickly if I practice.
14) Who is your celebrity crush?
Don’t have one.
15) How do you vent your anger?
Playing video games.
16) Do you have a collection of anything?
Fountain pens and Gunpla.
17) Are you happy with the person you've become?
I think I’m on the right track. Certainly better than I was before.
18) What's a sound you hate; sound you love?
Music out of tune; Brewing coffee.
19) What's your biggest "what if"?
Not really sure what this question entails; “what if I ever become rich?” Duh, I’d blow it all on fancy technology, Gunpla, and pens.
20) Do you believe in ghosts? How about aliens?
I believe in both and want them both to stay far away from me.
21) Stick your right arm out; what do you touch first? Do the same with your left arm.
My monitor; My monitor (what a surprise, I’m at my computer)
22) Smell the air. What do you smell?
Air.
23) What's the worst place you have ever been to?
I was pretty traumatized when I accidentally wandered into a nudist beach in Australia. My poor 7-year-old self was so confused.
24) Most attractive singer/s of your opposite gender?
Hell, I don’t know.
25) To you, what is the meaning of life?
Ah yes, the question everyone asks themselves. What’s the meaning of life from my perspective? In a philosophical sense, I’d say it’s to live and succeed by following what makes you happiest. I hope I can live my life one day both in comfort and without sacrifice. Now if you let the smart-ass in me answer this question, I’d just say to live. Duh.
26) Do you drive? If so, have you ever crashed?
I do drive and I haven’t crashed thankfully.
27) What was the last movie you saw?
Good question, I don’t remember. Actually!!! I do it was the Turn-A Gundam movie (what did you expect from me?)
28) What's the worst injury you've ever had?
I sprained my leg in 3rd grade, but that’s pretty much it. I’m thankful nothing else has happened to me.
29) Do you have any obsessions right now?
Did I mention I like Gundam and computer parts?
30) Ever had a rumor spread about you?
Nobody knows I exist, so no.
31) Do you tend to hold grudges against people who have done you wrong?
Yes, I do. Never expect me to forget wrongdoings against me.
32) What is your astrological sign?
Virgo
33) What's the last thing you purchased?
Black Desert Online
34) Love or lust?
Love, but both is fine.
35) In a relationship?
Lol no.
36) How many relationships have you had?
1.
37) What is your secret weapon to get someone to like you?
I don’t?
38) Where is your best friend?
In New Jersey, unfortunately.
39) What were you doing last night at 12 AM?
To even my surprise, I was sleeping.
40) Are you the kind of friend you would want to have as a friend?
Yeah, I think I’m a pretty great friend.
41) You are walking down the street on your way to work. There is a dog drowning in the canal on the side of the street. Your boss has told you if you are late one more time you get fired. What do you do?
Looks like I need a new job.
42) You are at the doctor’s office and she has just informed you that you have approximately one month to live. a) Do you tell anyone/everyone you are going to die? b) What do you do with your remaining days? c) Would you be afraid?
Eh, it probably depends on my current life situation. If it was right now I would, and I’d probably want to go to Japan at least once. Of course I would be afraid, I don’t want to die. You’re asking the person who can’t wait to replace his body with cybernetics so he can live forever.
43) What's a song that always makes you happy when you hear it?
Monster Hunter Theme, Testament of a Hero. Gets me hype every time.
44) In your opinion, what makes a great relationship?
Shit uh, Lots of love and attention to detail, trusting each other, tolerance, loyalty, and respect. It sounds pretty generic to me tbh.
45) How can I win your heart?
Be interested in me and care as much as I do. I’m not that difficult.
46) Can insanity bring on more creativity?
Who knows, I’m not insane.
47) What is the single best decision you have made in your life so far?
Stop listening to that shitty other voice inside my head (perfect question to answer after stating I’m not insane right?)
48) What would you want to be written on your tombstone?
“To those reading this, I probably didn’t make it to any afterlife so just so you know, I’m right behind you. Say hello!” (Complete BS, didn’t know what to write)
49) Give me the first thing that comes to mind when you hear the word "heart."
Condition. Wish that wasn’t the first word that came to mind, but unfortunately, it is.
50) Basic question; what's your favorite color/colors?
Purple but like, blue based purple. Shitty neon purple.
51) What is your current desktop picture?
Samus Aran in her Varia suit with a Metroid floating over her.
52) If you could press a button and make anyone in the world instantaneously explode, who would it be?
Only one person? That’s lame. Nothing will be solved by erasing just one person so I wouldn’t bother.
53) What would be a question you'd be afraid to tell the truth on?
No clue depends on who’s asking.
54) You accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what's even cooler is that they endow you with the super-power of your choice! What is that power?
Gravity Manipulation would be a pretty sweet power. Or being some crazy powerful Telekinetic like Mob.
55) You can re-live any point of time in your life. The time-span can only be a half-hour, though. What half-hour of your past would you like to experience again?
Maybe going to Australia again? I don’t remember too much of it, unfortunately.
56) You can erase any horrible experience from your past. What will it be?
How about we don’t erase any experience from my past. I’d rather learn from troubling times than pretending they never happened.
57) You have the opportunity to sleep with the music-celebrity of your choice. Who would it be?
What the fuck type of question is this?? Nobody, I don’t know them. 
58) You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere. You have to depart right now. Where are you gonna go?
Take me to Nippon.
59) Ever been on a plane?
Many planes.
60) Give me your top 5 hottest celebrities.
I. Don’t. Care. About. Celebrities.
Happy now?? 
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booksbroadwaybbc · 5 years
Text
Don't know what to do with myself. via /r/selfimprovement
Don't know what to do with myself.
Hi. I'm 21 and still in community college, but I did get my provisional admission to this university I wanted to transfer to. I work as a runner at Din Tai Fung and I'm supposed to make bank, but I don't really know yet because I'm a new employee. Headtitle question at the bottom
I think I've lived an okay-ish life, kind of. story time, skip to the end if you dont wanna read it I come from a Korean family, can't say I remember much of my childhood except mostly being beaten and yelled at. There were good times too, but they usually ended prettily shittily. Moved around a bunch, went to a lot of schools. I've dealt with a lot of abusive stuff from both parents, but I'm not going to talk about my mom because things have gotten better and she's still here for me(?). For some extreme stuff- my dad broke my brothers toes in elementary school. In my senior year, he threatened me at knifepoint and forced it into my hands and told me to stab my brother or he would stab me. Beatings from him were pretty bad, and it's not just belts and sticks bad. I played co-ed baseball in 5th grade, so bam, there was that too. He liked to throw chairs and literally flip tables when he was angry (hes a private construction worker, so he's pretty strong). Broke a lot of his phones throwing them at us, the wall, the floor, whatever. Ive had a lot of problems with my social affairs in highschool- anxiety, being cold, being short tempered, aggressive, violent, sharp tongued. I started warming up in senior year because of this girl I dated, which was a pretty big deal because gays are not allowed in this household. And well, im bi but its the same thing to them. Can't say that went too well, because my brother found out and blackmailed me in the situation we were living in. But who cares, because siblings hate each other right? Anyways, broke up with her, broke her heart, treated her poorly and whatever two years later we made up and was able to be friends again. Back to dad- he was usually never around for things like elementary grad, middle school grad, and highschool- my mom made him come, but he sure didn't seem happy about it. In highschool, he only laid down on his phone playi ng his shitty phone games. Doesnt talk to me, doesnt talk to my brother, doesnt talk to my mom. His routine: wake up, go to work, come home, phone games, eat, phone games, sleep. If you try to talk to him, he ignores you. If you press it, he'll give you some boring answer like "go away already".
Anywho, that abusive fuck was caught cheating. Had an affair with a client's sister. Sold the house we lived in, mom moved to Newark, him to San Leandro. Mom didnt want to deal with me, so I got the boot and lived wjth acquaintances in Hayward. Couldnt afford it, so mom told me to move to San Leandro with him. I moved in with my best friend helping me and we saw the evidence. Bambam, hello lady clothing and shit. I went apeshit nuts and he tried to convince me, then threatened that I would be in big trouble if i said anything. (Parents were separated but not divorced). Alright, ill keep my big mouth shut.
I worked for his "girlfriend" at her cafe in Berkeley. Why? Well, it was easy money and i needed it to keep up with my shitty coping habits- partying and party favors, mostly e. You dont have to deal with stress if youre always out partying.
Anywho, fast forward, skip a lot of details. Mom gets a phone call one day from mutual acquaintance saying dad is sick and asks her to bring him some food. Alright. So she does because she still cares, and finds out the truth. Calls me and demands me to come right now and unlock the door- note that this is a 40 minute drive. By the time i get there, theres hella police and a window is broken and theres hella shit going on. Things settled down but being my immature ass i scream at my parents for both being immature, and they shouldve just cut things clean. I yell at my dad for being a fuckhead and cheating, you didnt raise a liar but you are one. I yell at my mom for being irresponsible and breaking things. Police grabs my shoulder but i swipe it off and bam. Im on the floor, face into concrete, chipped teeth and i cant even see where my dog is. Tbh i was more worried that he ran off because he was still a puppy and i was holding him during this whole ordeal. My glasses got knocked off my face when those two officers fucking bodyslammed me into the ground. I'm 5ft4, i weighed like 130 at this time but im just a legit smol asian girl.
What happened next? Well yknow, i got arrested and sent to jail for assaulting a police officer, nbd. Sat there for a few hours, listening to some psycho making weird noises. Finally get some call saying that my mom was waiting for me, and she bailed me out. She was crying a lot and told me that my dad didnt even bat an eye as they took me away, that he smiled and tried to fix his goddamn broken window. I believe it too, because I saw that shitty smirk on his face when i got to the scene. My mom has a bit of an uncontrollable temper so she looks psycho when the other person was the wack one. This was in January 2017.
Skip forward to the next police thing. June 2017. My mom demands that i pack all my shit and move back, and she wants to go with me. I plead no, but what am i gonna do against her? Alright, we drive and she starts saying stuff about lying and calls the bitch a slut and homewrecker and stuff, dad gets up to stand inbetween and stuff. Tells her to move than basically shoves her across the living room towards the door. **insert hysteria and bam again, screaming and each other, his hands on her, me trying to squeeze my body in between them and get his hands off of her. Doesnt really work cos he turns on me, hits me away and goes back to beat her. My screaming doesnt really help either, but i try what I can to claw his arms off of her. Nooooo, bad idea, but better me than her. He grabs me and my head is locked into his elbow so I bite down, arm. Baaaad idea again, but its in self defense imo. Im just trying to help my mom. He p much beats me up into a pulp her, grabs my shirt all the way up and yikes thats embarassing. The struggle goes on and eventually its calm again because slutface is like "honey staph"- note: only words and no actions to get close, buuuut, it works. Me and mom move to my room and start removing all my weebshit from the walls. Mom is muttering and saying a bunch of bs for him to hear and he storms into the room because hes fucking triggered and start the violence again. Oh but this is where i do the fun thing- i lunge myself at him so im like on top of him but holy shit, he legit pulls me off of him and throws me against the wall cabinets, and two hand chokes me, with his knees on my chest. Mom starts screaming at him, claws his face and soon the police are here and shit. Bitch called the police, and this is where it gets more fucked up. I legally live here, its on my license. I came back to move out, so its okay for me to be here, because i came to pack my stuff and take whats mine. So why exactly did the police not believe me? Why did my mom get arrested for putting dumb scratches on his face when he beat us, with pictures - that day- to prove that he inflicted more wounds on us. We were just defending ourselves. He put his hands on us first. Anyways, that starts my worries cos im like. Im 20, but idk what to do. How do i find money to bail my mom out? How do i even do that in the first place? But i managed.
Anywho skip forward, jackass is no longer in my life, tho i have to deal with him through my brother from time to time. Parents officially divorced Feb 2018. I've lived with my mom, she bought a cafeteria for a little bit so I worked there. Things were really hard because my mom had a lot of pent up anger that she would take out on me. My brother moved out because he went to university so he didnt really have to deal with much. Im also the older child, so bam. Anyways, we fought a lot. A LOT LOT. Like apeshit crazylot. I took a lot of beatings. It was like the weekend before Christmas of 2017 where a took a huge beating and ran away from my problems by going to my now-ex's house. He offered me to move in with him and his family, so I did. I had the choice of going back to my moms lifestyle and attempt to make up, or trying to live a different life. I lived with him from like Christmas to March 2018. We started having a lot of problems because he regret inviting me, he wasnt ready to give up his personal space and I was done babysitting someone who was older than me. Doing his laundry, doing his dishes, cleaning his room. I was done with being bored, never going out, being ignored while he did the same thing my dad did. Sit on his phone and not speak a word. Yeah, there were good times too, but they seem so fleeting when it seeps in with your own personal trauma of being ignored. Btw- when i moved to his place, my brother moved back home to fill the gap, but my brother is better with dealing with my mom and she doesnt blow up at him.
After I moved back, it was better. Yeah, shit went down sometimes but i guess overall it was better? My mom cried a lot. I would hear her talk on the phone with her family members in Korea and cry about how she was tired of everything and didn't want to do it anymore. I know exactly how that feels. Well, in the later months of 2018, we got along better and havent really had those blowups. I tried my best to stay home more instead of going out at night because she hated it. I tried to be nicer to her and more compromising. She's in Korea rn and things suck. During the whole parents thing, it sucks to feel like your parents are passing you to each other likea toy they dont want. It sucks to not really feel familial love growing up, where mom is just doing things because shes supposed to and dad just flat out pretends you dont exist. It sucks that it takes two years of partying, drugs and cons to find out
Submitted October 31, 2018 at 10:33AM by xfirelily via reddit https://ift.tt/2CRsVBn
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little-goose · 6 years
Text
Okay, so I’ve put it off for a long time, because I just needed to wait or not think about it or what have you, but I am going to briefly chronicle my 2016 as the personal hell year for roommates. Just so I have it down somewhere.
So let’s start at the tail end of 2015. I was a few months into my college program with Disney, settling in and making plans for staying on once the internship was done, when the news that my current roommate was planning to move home to finish school. So around late November/early December i was very much like a passenger on a sinking ship, scrambling for a lifeboat. It didn’t matter if it was the nicest, or had the best people, it could’ve had a hole from which we had to keep bailing out water, but it would’ve been something.
A girl who worked in the same restaurant as me knew my situation but continuously never offered me a spot, instead telling me how she’d been apartment hunting with a few other girls and hoped I’d find something. 
For now, let’s call her Vacation Bible School (henceforth; VBS) because that was very much her. She didn’t know I was bisexual and within 10 minutes of meeting her I knew I couldn’t tell her that, which was fine, I’m very used to that now. However, she was very critical of the fact that I, as a 24 year old, drank socially. She would occasionally make comments like, “well if anyone here has done drugs, it might’ve been you.” In the way of someone who is trying to make a joke of it, but is 100% judging you for that. She also asked, first if I was Christian and when I said that I was agnostic, immediately asked if I went to church. Gonna let you think about answer number one for a minute, VBS. She also saw me bring some alcohol into the house and because it was more than one bottle of wine, told our roommates that she was worried that I was an alcoholic.
Anyways, we were friendly enough and I asked if she wouldn’t mind throwing my name out to any of the CPs also staying on after our internship ended on the 2nd of January. She said she would. 
Who I found was a girl I did not know well, and didn’t particularly care for, because my first conversation with her included the classic, “Well, with d*sney, assume a guy is gay until proven straight.” But again, I was on a sinking ship, and I figured I could just live amicably enough and not talk about anything except the weather and Harry Potter. Let’s just call her M. 
Problem is, in Southern California, you can’t afford to have less than 2 or 3 roommates in a 2 bedroom apartment, working for somewhere like Disney. So I still needed something else.
In comes VBS, halfway through December saying two girls dropped out of her living plans (why didn’t you notice, past Julia?) at the same time and she wanted me to fill those spots. 
Long story short, I ended up in an apartment with VBS, M, and another girl from my restaurant I didn’t know, who was Batshit™ Crazy (BS). Due to an error on VBS’ part, because she INSISTED on being the primary name on the lease, we lost our 2 bedroom for the first month, and we were four people in a one bedroom. For one month, until another 2 bed was available. 
We move in and oh boy wasn’t that fun. Because I was the only one who had furniture from living more or less on my own in Washington, I had a small uhaul brought down. Which is fair, since most of the furniture was stuff that we needed and did not have to buy. 
Right off the bat, VBS was telling other people “can you believe she brought a uhaul for all her stuff? all our furniture is either her or BS’ I feel like I can’t use it.” As a side note, I was determined to make that situation as easy as possible, and enthusiastically (stupidly) said I was happy to share pretty much all my stuff with them. In retaliation, VBS personally allotted us spaces in all the closets and cupboards we had, when we weren’t home one day.
Our first month is nearing its end and me and BS have been getting along better once we find some similar interest and briefly talk about changing our rooming situation when we move, since we get along a little better. Plus, she had a loft bed and I had a queen, so practicality dictated this made the most sense. 
And surprise, it did because 2 bedroom apartments in SoCal are TINY. So BS and I agree to speak to our respective planned roommates (VBS-BS, Me-M) about this. I send M a text briefly explaining the space situation and I would like to find time to talk in person, before we move to hash it out.
She chooses not to reply. And to also not speak to me for the next 3 days. We sat in a room with all four of us, and I was just not there to her. I thought it was weird but didn’t press it then.
Cut to the day before move-in. We get the go ahead to move in a day early because of my renter’s insurance (I was the only one with it, since it was only necessary for one, and I already had a plan that I could easily change). At which point, M and VBS finally deign to talk to me about the situation. They wait for BS to take a load of stuff across the complex before approaching me to say that they think it was a, “shitty, passive-agressive thing to do,” and I had a chickenshit way of approaching my problems and that wasn’t a conversation to have over text (I didn’t, of course). And apparently, BS is in no way to blame or involved in this, she just keeps saying she wants to move in. Doesn’t support me, or deny me but still moves both of our things into the same room. We stop for maybe an hour and a half to have this conversation between me, M, and VBS in which I am tired from moving, I want to just have a room in which my bed isn’t pressed against my roommate’s and a person I can stand talking to. 
M finally lets it go, but only after she claims the “master” bedroom for herself and VBS, and grudgingly lets go of extra storage space for herself as compensation. 
The next move in day, M decides that the day we’ve all set aside to finish moving is the day she needs to go on a tinder date, and leaves around noon, expecting us to move her things into her apartment for her. We all leave it there, with her new keys and go to a movie. Come home that night to a facebook post about fake people and real friends. Because you know, we didn’t move her shit while she went on a date.
From February to maybe June, the most she and I interact is when she gives me her share of bills which I pay (consistently a few days late).
The trouble there, stems from BS and VBS. I was comfortably going along assuming how great it was that I made a friend like BS, who I knew well and could share things with. (Turns out she consistently posted about me on twitter for pretty much the whole year). The worst was probably in late april, when I think I subconsciously realized how much stress my living situation was beginning to cause me but couldn’t put a voice to, because I had a full breakdown on my floor and she came in to “help me out” and I ended up opening up to her, stupidly assuming I could trust this girl.
And why shouldn’t I? While we were still on speaking terms (circa march 2016) she was telling me how awful VBS really was. How she’d lied to BS that M and I were such great friends and wanted to live with them. How I was some alcoholic party kid who was so sarcastic and rude. I mean, she was so wrong, I was a good friend. And my traumatized ass, who can count all my healthy relationships on one hand, was weak to someone going “I love this girl” when I said something funny. Who laughed at my jokes and brought me starbucks at work. I genuinely wanted to believe that this girl and I could be friends for a long time.
But around late April, early May, I suddenly was not on speaking terms with any of my roommates. No warning, one morning BS and VBS were gone, and BS had blocked me on all forms of social media. It was only once I’d logged out of twitter and wandered to her account that I’d seen all the things she’d been saying. 
This continues through summer, while at the same time drama was starting at work (that’s a whole different can of worms tbh but what a story that is too). When I realized that my roommate situation wasn’t great, a group of kids (R2P2) kind of welcomed me into our group, where they didn’t welcome VBS. And again I felt so relieved that I was making friends. And in reality, they are all a lot younger (19-20) than me and I can’t fault them for how things went. But they came over one night when I was seriously frightened by a text BS sent me about “want to tell me about how all of our restaurant thinks we’re the worst roommates ever when i get home?” And they took me out when she came home and stayed over night in our living room. Politely and quietly. We left before anyone was up, and halfway through breakfast with them, I get a text saying that I wasn’t allowed guests unless my roommates were told beforehand and approved of them coming. Not entirely unreasonable, until you consider that it’s not the courteous heads-up she wanted, but the ability to flat out say “no you can’t.”
I spent a week sleeping on my friends couches because the stress of being at home when people slammed doors to let you know they were there, moving your shit, waking you up when they decided you’d had enough sleep (even though you work til 3 am some nights), and never knowing when they’ll break their vow of silence to tell you what shit you were doing wrong, was too much. 
Then they stopped paying me their shares of bills in July. Until the remote for my television in the living room disappeared for a day and a half. Not misplaced. Gone. 
It was brought back when I told them the internet password. They still hadn’t paid me.
But not to worry, almost every day I woke up to notes on the fridge or notes that would fall out of cupboards when opened, letting us all know about who shouldn’t touch what and how much everyone should clean. Because, of course, M wouldn’t want us to be passive-agressive about things.
It took a group text to get them to do so. And my telling them that I can remove privileges to my possessions when necessary. Even so, I began to notice things of mine were getting misplaced and when I’d ask BS, assuming she didn’t flat out ignore me, she didn’t know. Of course she didn’t. Til I found some of my stuff in her drawers. I didn’t ask.
On the morning of my birthday, I wake up next to a card from BS, which took a whole page to say she didn’t know why we grew apart, but she thought it might have been a little bit her fault and she wanted to make amends. And clearly she did a great job. Her bandaid birthday present to me was a sheet of cat stickers.
And somehow we returned to a tentative talking situation and I clung to it because it was better than finally admitting that I had signed a 13 month lease with the Bitches of East End, and I was only halfway through. She didn’t unblock me–where else would she complain about me—but she definitely talked to me to complain about our roommates. Apparently she could only stay friends with VBS for 3½ months. She was a big fan of throwing the first stone, then letting other people take over so she could seem like the nice, reasonable one. Idiot Julia didn’t catch on quick.
But I did finally realize that I needed to get out. I started looking for new apartments, but I couldn’t post anything on a roommate facebook page where VBS and M were members, because I didn’t want to say anything about leaving until I knew I had a safety net. It was a lot of hunching over apartments.com listings like they were porn, from september to december.
All while peppered with continuous notes from M and BS, though the latter, she promised, was not directed at me. By november at least BS and VBS started paying me for bills again, though never paid me back the months they just elected to ignore my presence. M, however, wrote me a letter in which she detailed why she did not have to pay me for either renters insurance or back months of internet. She even did the (incorrect) math, to show me how much I should be charging her, not that she ever paid me more than a third of it. When I agreed to let her out of paying for the last few months, in which I never gave her the password again, VBS insisted I still charge her, because it was unreasonable to split a payment between three of us. So she tried to get out of paying again. In the end, internet won out for her.
Turns out though, in January, no one felt the need to communicate their living plans, so M tried to keep our current apartment without telling us, which she couldn’t without our approval, VBS was going to leave early to move home, and BS wanted to keep our apartment too. Nothing like having your landlords comment on the drama in your apartment every time you try to pick your mail up. I also don’t recommend hearing about your roommate’s moving plans from your landlord first. 
The good news is I did find a place to live, and a friend of mine was ready and willing to move down two states to live with me, the only tricky bit was moving out. 
Mostly because VBS moved out a week early, and opted to not do any cleaning or repairs before she left. She also left with one of our keys, and expected us to help her pay the fine. Cute. 
In the end, I was the last one to officially leave, because I had to move essentially all my stuff out and into a uhaul by myself, after a friend left after an hour of help. And then move it to storage for a week. But because of this, they left me with a kitchen and living room full of odds and ends garbage to throw out and clean. Despite the fact that they still had a day to come back and finalize it all.
And while there were plenty of awful conversations, texts, and notes in between this, I made it out, with most of my stuff. They did damage some things, including a mug I’d had for years and a tablecloth I’d inherited from my Oma, and I still find small things missing now and then. But I made it out. And I live with an amazing friend. 
The downside is, of course, after having been in survival mode for essentially 14 months, and finally being in a safe place, the depressive episode hit hard and fast. And even that I wanted to deny, because it didn’t feel fair that I finally had a good thing going and now my depression was back. But it was, and still is, and I’m finally working on that. The good news is unlike last time, it didn’t take a year and a half for me to recognize it for what it was and try and get help again. 
So, if you read all that, I hope it clears up some of my vague posts from the last year, some of my absences or weird tags. I feel bad that I did have friends reach out and offer support, but I just couldn’t say it at the time. And I want to blanket thank you all those people, several of which are on here, who tried to support me as best I could, even when I downplayed how I was feeling. It’s been months and it’s only now that I wanted to face it in its entirety and realize I wasn’t overreacting, and I wasn’t always in the wrong. 
Sometimes, it really isn’t you, it’s them.
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