#can't believe this is the first reblog I've done in a WHILE

[matryosika]

Never Have I Ever

Pairing — Chan, Changbin x fem!reader Wordcount — 8,913 words Genre — 18+ Includes — Mentions of body insecurities and past romantic relationships. Struggles with sex and sexuality. Consumption of alcohol (but no sex under the influence). Explicit sexual content, smut warnings under the cut. Author's note — It's been a while since I've post something this lengthy... I have to be honest, I started writing this last year (July 2022) but I felt so unsatisfied with it that I never got to post it. I made some corrections, added some more details and now I'm ready to share it with you! Hope you like it. Please remember to leave a comment, reblog or ask if you liked this. And! This is the yearly reminder that I own a ko-fi. If you wish to support my work further, you can leave me a tip there! The link is on my pinned post. Thank you for reading me.

Smut warnings — Use of pet names (baby and princess). Dirty talk, threesome activities, mutual masturbation, oral sex (m. receiving), double penetration, first time anal, description of pain and crying during sex. Multiple orgasms, unprotected sex, pulling out and facial.

"Never have I ever..." Chan hummed, his right hand swirling the green bottle he had been drinking from for the past minutes, "had sex in a public place".

He looked at you and then at Changbin, his curious gaze wondering how he missed an opportunity to make either of you drink from your alcoholic beverage.

"I haven't had sex in a public place," Changbin mumbled, "but I have done other things".

"You have to drink either way," Chan insisted.

"You said sex," the black-haired complained, "next time try to be more specific".

You sat there in silence with a look of amusement as you witnessed the silly discussion your two best friends were holding.

"There will not be a next time," Chan sighed, leaving his bottle on top of the small coffee table next the shared couch, "at this rate, we are going to be wasted and she will remain sober".

You smiled with victory imprinted on your face, imitating Chan's action and leaving your beverage on top of the table, "we should've betted money on who was the most innocent one among the three of us, I could've ended the night with more bucks than the ones I have on my wallet".

"I can't believe you dated that asshole for 3 years and yet you didn't do anything with him," Changbin murmured with disbelief.

"Do you think I am lying?" You questioned him, tilting your head slightly backwards and resting it on the wall behind.

"I know for a fact you are not," Changbin replied, "that's why I’m impressed".

"Well," you took the bowl of chips that was placed between you and Chan, "sex isn't everything in a relationship."

"You say so because you haven't fucked," Chan scoffed, his characteristic dimples showing as soon as the sound of his laughter escaped his lips.

"We did fuck though".

"You say so because you haven't fucked properly," Changbin corrected his best friend's statement, the choice of words making your skin burn in embarrassment.

"Just because I am not into the kinky stuff you guys like doesn't mean I didn't enjoy the sex with him," you whined, throwing a cushion at Changbin, "plus, why are we making my sexual life a topic of conversation? that's something private".

"It's just amusing," Chan mumbled, taking a sip from the bottle, "you didn't drink from your soju the whole time".

"You guys asked such odd questions," you admitted, "threesomes, sex in public places... how was I supposed to drink when I have no interest in those sorts of things?"

"Alright, alright," Changbin interrupted, both of his arms doing signals for you and chan to be quiet, "we will start small".

You looked at Changbin and then at Chan, unsure of what the twisted game your dark-haired friend was thinking about. Nonetheless, your hand reached out for the bottle of soju and you returned back to your previous position, back against the wall and head tilted slightly backwards.

"Never have I ever given my partner oral sex," Changbin mumbled, both pairs of dark eyes fixed on you as they waited for your final answer.

Placing the tip of the bottle in between your lips, you made sure to drink just a small sip from it. Not being too fond of the taste of alcohol nor the feeling of being drunk, you tried your best to limit your consumption during the evening. Of course, playing this kind of game was rather easy for someone as inexperienced as you were.

"Never have I ever received oral sex," Chan continued the attack, expecting you to hold the bottle again and drink from it.

But, after a few seconds of awkward looks and odd grimaces, he understood that you were not going to take another sip of alcohol.

"Never have I ever tried anal sex," Changbin queried and, again, no response from you. "Well, that one was a bit obvious".

You darted him a killer gaze and he scoffed, looking absolutely unimpressed by your sexual inexperience.

"Never have I ever tried more than 2 different sexual positions with my partner," Chan questioned with a teasing smirk and, for the first time that night, you felt a bit shy at your lack of experience.

It was true that your sexual life wasn't the best, not even with your ex-boyfriend of 3 years, but you wouldn't dare to admit it out loud. For some reason, the thought of having to talk about how much he sucked at those things embarrassed you and, knowing your best friends, they wouldn't be able to forget such a confession.

"No wonder why you broke up with him," Changbin whispered, diverting your attention from Chan's image all the way to his. "Let me guess, missionary and doggy?"

You were not the type to get your cheeks blushed but still, the skin on your face was burning in shame.

"Never have I ever faked an orgasm with my partner," Chan added, capturing your whole attention once again.

You knew Chan and, if you were to take a wild guess, you would say that his countenance changed from amusement to concern. In his face, you could catch a glimpse of almost the same reaction he had when you told him all about your break up and how your boyfriend cheated on you several times before you found out. 

Even though his reaction was rather odd to you, you still took a sip of your bottle, "shit".

"This is way worse than I thought," Changbin sighed, stretching his body and placing both of his hands behind his neck.

"Just one more question and I will let this go," Chan hummed, trying to satisfy his curiosity without making you uncomfortable, "alright?"

You nodded with resignation, "shoot".

"Never have I ever had an orgasm with a partner," and, as soon as you heard those words, you couldn't help but fix your gaze at your shoelaces that were a hundred times more interesting than whatever was going on inside the tiny living room of your apartment.

"Damn," Changbin's harsh voice interrupted, breaking the awkward silence that was starting to fall down upon the three of you, "are you serious?"

"Why would I lie to you about these things?" you asked with a high-pitched voice, your mind bringing back the memories of the few times you got to spend with your ex.

To be completely honest with yourself, you couldn't deny how hideous the sex with him was. It was rushed, fast, boring. He was focused on his pleasure rather than yours, lasting for not more than 5 minutes and calling it a day. "I'm exhausted", "I came so hard", "I'm so sleepy" were just a few of the things he used to mumble right after overcoming his high and, as much as you loved him at the time, you couldn't help but feel overwhelmed after each session. He made you feel like an object who was only meant to give him pleasure without receiving any and, for the longest time, you thought it was completely normal.

"You never talked to him about these things?" Changbin questioned you, making your heart sink at the realization that he was just as worried as Chan was about the whole situation.

"It is not a big deal guys," you tried to convince them, even when you knew that it was, in fact, a big deal, "luckily we are not together anymore so I can leave those boring experiences in the past".

"Still," Chan's words felt like he was scolding you, "you went down on him several times and he couldn't even do that for you".

"Yeah, well-" you sighed, standing up from your seat and stretching your whole body, "I will make sure to get a better and trustworthy fuck buddy next time, I have learned my lesson".

Chan and Changbin remained silent as you started to pick up the mess from the living room, gathering the empty bottles of soju and the wrappings of the snacks you had been eating that night.

"Why don't you help me clean up?" you queried, looking down on them while they spared complicit glances at each other, "the living room is a mess and I don't have plans on doing chores tomorrow morning".

"Hey," Changbin hummed, still sitting on the floor with both of his palms against the rug, "we uh-"

The way your dark-haired roommate stumbled upon his words made you curious about what he was going to say next.

"We would like to help you out with your other issue," Chan spitted, bluntly. Still sitting on the couch with his legs spread, he lifted up his gaze to meet yours.

"What other-" you started the sentence with a smile on your face but, as soon as you realized what they meant, the smile and fondness was transformed into nervousness and curiosity, "oh".

"Oh," Changbin repeated almost with the same intonation you did.

"Listen, you don't have to agree to this," Chan rushed to say, standing up from the couch almost as the same time his friend did from the floor, "me and Changbin, we have discussed this for a while now but we just- we never knew how to approach you about it".

You looked at the two men standing in front of you, suddenly feeling your knees and legs ten times weaker than before. For a while, how long is a while?

"When you say a while, what do you mean?" you asked him, slowly placing the empty bottles on top of the table again.

"We both thought you were attractive the first time you moved in with us," Changbin explained, clearing up his throat as he watched you take a seat on the couch again, now they were the ones looking down on you. "Of course, at the time you had a boyfriend and everything, it was never really a plan, just a thought".

"A thought?"

Changbin looked at Chan and then diverted his gaze to something else, trying hard to avoid giving more information than he needed to.

"One night we were just talking about how much we both liked you," Chan spoke slowly, trying to find just the right words to portray their twisted and perverted fantasies with you, "how much we wanted to be with you, like that"..

"And you have decided to tell me that right now because…"

"We just saw an opportunity to bring the topic and we took it," Changbin continued without even daring to make eye-contact with you, "we don't really lose anything by asking".

"A threesome, then?" you queried with your pair of eyes fixed on them. It was new how nervous they looked right then and there in front of you, clenching their jaws and avoiding eye contact at all costs.

Both of them nodded.

"I... will think about it," you concluded shyly, expecting them to say something else rather than nodding and continuing on picking up the trash that you had placed on top of the table after hearing such revelation.

Other than agreeing and whispering a series of "okay, yeah's", your roommates didn't say anything else. The tension in the environment changed but, at the same time, it didn't feel awkward or overwhelming. If you had to describe it, you would dare to say it was almost pensive.

"You have work tomorrow?" Chan asked, interrupting the silence that was quick to build up after your last words.

"No, I am taking this weekend off," you replied, carrying the green bottles all the way to your kitchen counter.

"I'll get those," Changbin mumbled, picking up the bottles that you had left behind because you could only carry that much.

You didn't want to give them the wrong impression, one where you felt awkwardly uncomfortable at their proposal to the point of not wanting to interact with them in any way, but it was almost impossible to talk when your mind was filled with thoughts.

"Everything alright?" Changbin queried, closing the trash bag and leaving it on the floor right next to the trash can.

"Yeah I just- I'm feeling very tired," you replied, blinking several times before fixing your gaze on him, "it has been a while since I drank".

Liar.

You drank less than half a bottle of soju and all three people in that room knew that. 

"You should go to sleep, " the black-haired murmured, not daring to look at you. "We will clean the rest of the living room and continue on working for a bit before going to bed, it's still early".

You unlocked your phone, without having any notion of time, and realized that he was right. You thought it was already midnight but the clock was barely at 10 p.m.

"Thanks," you politely replied, brushing your hands against your denim jeans and standing there for a while before excusing yourself, "goodnight".

As you walked from the kitchen and back to the living room, Changbin's gaze burned on your skin like a fresh cut. He wasn't nervous or uncomfortable, no. He was probably regretful, thinking that the two of them had screwed up an adorable friendship with their best friend just for the sake of wanting to get their dicks wet.

"Goodnight Chan," you mumbled while walking across the living room, Chan's eyes lifting up to meet yours without hesitation.

"Hey," he said, clearing his throat and turning his whole body around to face you, "me and Changbin, we wouldn't want things to get awkward".

"Me neither," you faintly smiled, trying to give him the reassurance he needed in order to understand that you weren't uncomfortable nor scared after their proposal. "I'm alright, don't worry too much about it".

And after he offered you a smile back, you closed your bedroom door right behind you.

Saying you were alright was a lie, especially when your whole body stopped being numb and regained its consciousness. The wetness between your thighs betrayed you once again, just like every other time you were around those two.

"Fuck," you whispered to yourself, closing your eyes and swallowing hard.

Only then, you started to mentally curse yourself. You knew how bad you wanted them, how many nights you spent touching yourself wishing it was one of them making you feel good. You, who even while being in a committed relationship, spent hours and hours daydreaming about any of them bending you over the kitchen counter and fucking you until you couldn't do anything but take them completely.

I will think about it.

There was absolutely nothing to think about and you knew it. What was stopping you then? Trying to act all collected and insightful when, in reality, there was not a single day where you could go without pleasuring yourself to the thought of them.

What is stopping me?

You stood there in silence for a few more minutes until you heard their room's door closing, rushing to grab a towel and a pair of clean clothes before running into the shared bathroom of the apartment. It was safe to say that it had been a long day.

Letting the hot water run and taking every single article of clothing before stepping right into the shower, you asked the same question one more time: what is stopping me?

And, as your eyes found your reflection in the foggy mirror, you understood the answer.

You could dream about them as much as you would like, but the nervousness of being not one but with two new partners scared you to death. 

They proposed to you. 

The idea was appealing, but the anguish that it represented was too strong to be fought in such a small period of time. You trusted them with your life, you really did, but you also knew them more than anyone else in the whole world. You knew what kind of girls they dated and what kind of things they did. You were nowhere near those qualifications and the fact that they even brought that idea was as flattering as it was confusing. 

Either way, the mere thought of knowing they desired you like that made you wonder what kind of perverted ideas they thought about whenever they saw you around. What did they see in you that you failed to appreciate?

*

Standing in front of their bedroom's door, you breathed three times before finding the courage to knock on it. The clock would strike 12 a.m. and you knew for sure they were still awake. That excited you as much as it scared you.

The door opened before you could knock again, unsure if they had heard the first pair of faint knocks. Just as you had predicted, both of them were still working on some of their projects.

"Everything alright, princess?" Changbin queried, his dark eyes scanning your figure with discretion. 

Princess. Changbin called you like that sometimes for as long as you could remember and it never failed to have the desired effect on you.

Wearing a black oversized shirt with nothing underneath but a pair of pink panties, it struck you only then that maybe you had executed your idea wrong. In your mind, you completely missed the part of the small chat before telling them your verdict about the proposal.

"Can I come in?" you asked, his body walking just a few steps back as he opened the door for you.

Chan turned around on his chair, welcoming himself with the sight of your body.

"I thought about it," you murmured shyly, sitting on the edge of Chan's bed before daring to look at the hungry gazes of your best friends, "and I want it".

"Hey," Chan rushed to call out your name, his parted lips inhaling more air than usual, "don't feel pressured to do it, if you decide not to I promise things are still going to be the same".

"I mean it," you assured him, "I just- I have a condition".

The three of you looked at each other for a couple of seconds in silence.

"Go on," Chan spoke, his whole body leaning forward.

“You said you often thought about me in that way".

"We do, yeah," one of them voiced but the two of them nodded, eager to hear the rest of your demand.

"I-" for a short moment, your breath got caught up in your throat and you wondered if the sudden courage and bravery were sponsored by the cheap alcohol or your undeniable arousal, "I want to know what you think about me".

Changbin looked at Chan and then at you, his body language changing drastically from relaxed to tense in a matter of seconds.

"Is that what you really want?" He queried. His voice was as seductive as it was intimidating, his question seeming more like a warning than an invitation. 

You simply nodded.

"I know nothing about this," you murmured, the warmth on your skin spreading throughout your body as Chan's and Changbin's gaze fixed on your eyes, "and you two are the most trustworthy men I know".

"So you want us to teach you?" Chan asked with a soft scoff, the lowness of his voice taking you by surprise.

"I just want to understand what is so appealing about sex to other people," you admitted, shrugging your shoulders and tilting your head, "I just want to know how much I have missed".

Chan couldn't help but smile with fondness at your words, the warmth in his chest mixing up with the warmth between his legs. It wasn't just the fact that you trusted them enough to give your body to the two of them —it was the knowledge that, now that you had accepted their plea, they had the opportunity to make you feel like no one before.

Changbin walked up to your figure, the mattress slightly sinking as he took a seat right next to you. Whether it was out of nervousness or pure excitement, you couldn't help but shudder once the fabric of his black shorts brushed against the naked skin of your thighs.

"Don't be afraid," he cooed, his right hand moving upwards to find the left side of your face and turning it towards him, "you trust us, right?”

Your eyes met the curvature of his lips and, while his face approached you softly, you melted into his hands. The way his breath was stupidly close to be felt and his hand burned deliciously against your skin had you letting out a soft sigh before making the desired contact with him.

And it felt just like you had imagined it. Even better, you would dare to say.

Alcohol, a pinch of cherries and faint cigarette smoke were how you would describe his taste. He was gentle, maybe more gentle than you had expected him to be. His tongue dragged across your lips without going any further, teasing you and almost making you beg for more. He wasn't running out of breath but you were, letting out small whines while you tugged at the neck of his black t-shirt.

Only then, he interrupted the kiss by sinking his teeth on your lower lip and softly pulling at them, earning a sweet hiss from you.

"Should I go next?" Chan softly joked as he stood up from his seat, walking towards the available space of bed right next to you and sliding his hand up your naked thigh. Your parted lips found him immediately, but he remained in his position without going in for a kiss. "But first, you have to promise us something."

"Anything," you whispered out of breath, both men smiling proudly at how eager you were to have your way with them. 

"If you don't feel comfortable with something, you have to tell us," Chan warned, his eyes glued to the way your lips were inviting him to devour them.

Easy task. You nodded almost automatically, knowing that the odds of wanting them to stop were minimum to zero.

"Contrary to that, if there's something that you want, you will have to beg for it", he cooed, a faint smirk appearing on the corner of his lips as he saw the nervousness in your face, "promise?"

You let out a jittery laugh, feeling your accelerated heartbeats in the deepest parts of your throat, "it's embarrassing".

"It is not," Changbin intervened, his breath caressing the crook of your neck and making your eyes close for a quick second, "we will do anything you ask us to”.

"What do you get from it?" you questioned softly, your mind dizzy from both confusion and arousal.

"Do you want me to kiss you?" Chan asked, tilting his head and brushing your lips with his, completely ignoring your question. 

"Yes," you whispered, your heartbeats going at a mile per hour. Chan smiled against your lips without going any further, trying to give you the clue that you were not following one of his rules, "please Chan, kiss me".

Only then you felt his hand wrapping around your wrist, guiding it towards his lap. He soon placed it on top of his hardened bulge without a warning, his hips moving ever so slightly against the palm of your hand. "Do you see what you can cause if you beg nicely for us?" his hoarse voice inquired and you nodded almost automatically, both of your eyes probably opened like plates at his grittiness, “good”. 

He then gave you what you were wishing for so long, his plump lips moving against yours at a much slower pace than you had expected from him. It was almost as if he wanted to taste every inch of your lips that were mixed with your own taste and Changbin's. 

Unexpectedly, Changbin's hand caressed the skin on your thighs making you tremble against their bodies, Chan's lips drowning one of many pathetic whines that were urging to leave your mouth. Changbin dragged his touch further, lifting the fabric of your oversized t-shirt and finding the pleasant surprise of your pink, laced panties.

"You wore this for us?" he asked against your ear, the sound of his voice and breathing sending shivers down your spine, "you should've thought about it twice because i'm going to rip it off of you”. 

Another chill traveled throughout your body and your skin got covered in goosebumps, an action that didn't go unnoticed by the black-haired one. "You get turned on by words easily," he hummed, nibbling at the skin of your neck, "I'll remember that".

Chan broke the kiss to grasp for some air, the eyes that once looked at you with fondness were now completely clouded by nothing but lust. 

Changbin continued on kissing and biting your neck, that only contributed to the wet patch between your legs becoming way noticeable as Chan's fingertips threatened to make contact with your underwear, the fear of being exposed making you dwell in embarrassment.

"Now, tell us," Chan requested while his fingers reached for the skin of your inner thighs, "why did you change your mind?"

"I-" you tried to give an answer but Changbin's lips attached to your neck and Chan's touch lingering in between your legs were making the simple task feel ten times harder, "I was curious".

"That’s it?" Changbin asked, dragging his tongue along your skin and making you squirm under him, "I know there's something you are not telling us, princess".

And he was right. 

But how were you supposed to tell them that, even long before knowing that they were sexually attracted to you, you fantasized about them every single night?

Even when you were in a relationship.

"I like you two too," you mumbled in between sighs, fearing that Chan's playful smirk meant that he knew exactly what was going on in your perverted mind, "I thought about you as well".

"And what is it that you thought?" Chan questioned, his digits making the desired contact against your clothed core making you part your legs ever so slightly for them, "you can tell us, we know how to keep secrets". Even though the sentence was rather sweet, the hidden meaning behind it increased the tension on your lower abdomen, "after all, we are your best friends, right?".

"I thought about how good you two could make me feel," you whispered, Changbin's figure withdrawing from your neck and fixing your gaze on the masterpieces he had created on it, your skin now decorated with red bruises along it, "I thought about your fingers, often".

Changbin let out a soft laugh, the tip of his digits dragging along your t-shirt and clothed breasts only to end up brushing his thumb against your mouth, "show me how much you have thought about them, then".

With a curious look, you wrapped your lips around his digits without breaking eye contact. You sucked on them slowly, unsure if that was the action he was expecting from you. But, when he let out a soft groan, you understood that you were on the right path.

"Is this what you dreamt about, princess?" he questioned, pushing his fingers deep inside you as you nodded eagerly.

While you were too focused on Changbin's task, you didn't notice how Chan was lifting up your t-shirt to expose more of your thighs and underwear, the wet patch now becoming completely visible for him. He gently caressed your lower abdomen and made its way to your clothed slit, dragging one finger in circular motions and earning a sudden sigh out of you that was repressed by Changbin's digits.

"What was that, baby?" Chan scoffed, impressed by how sensitive you were.

Changbin took his fingers out of your mouth as Chan slid your panties to the side, licking his lips at the sight of how wet you were.

For a moment, you felt shy. Exposed. 

You wanted to close your legs and tell them that you didn't think the whole thing through but Chan's voice was what took you out of those intrusive thoughts.

"You are beautiful," he hummed, his heavy breathing ringing into your ears, "so fucking pretty".

You swallowed hard at his compliments, the skin on your whole body heating up in shyness as you got used to your best friends praising you in that way. 

Changbin's digits turned your chin to face him, placing his index and middle fingers in front of your lips as a mischievous smile appeared on his face.

"Tell Chan how bad you need him to touch you," he ordered, his eyes fixed on the way your lips parted almost instinctively as he brushed them against your lips.

"Chan-" you tried to speak, but your breath got caught up in your throat too soon, "please-".

"Tell him exactly what you want," the dark-haired spoke again. 

Your gaze turned to Chan who was sitting on the opposite side as Changbin, his fingers swirling around the skin of your thighs without actually making contact where you needed him the most.

"Will you touch me, Chan?" you queried, the way your eyes looked at him sending a pinch of electricity to his already hardened erection, "please".

He smiled at your words and, almost immediately, followed your request. Your whole body trembled against them due to the unfamiliar feeling of having someone else other than you touching you like that.

"What else does our princess need?" Changbin cooed, forcing you to face him once again.

"Your fingers," you sighed, trying hard to maintain eye contact as Chan rubbed your clit painfully slowly, "can I please suck on them?".

It was the way you politely asked and not really begged that had them over the edge. It sounded filthier, more humiliating, they would say.

Changbin pushed both of his fingers inside your mouth and, as he pounded them deeper, a loud moan from you that was caught around his digits sent waves of pleasure throughout the whole body.

"Suck them properly," he commanded, admiring how your head acquired a pace of its own as you gag on them, "I’m fucking your pretty pussy with them".

Chan's digits kept on teasing your clit, your hips instinctively moving against them while you tried to intensify the feeling.

"Right there, princess," he cooed, smiling at how your body was more than ready to be fucked, "you are behaving so well".

Changbin's fingers went in deeper, making you gag and drool all over them. Judged by the way he was watching you, you would dare to say that he loved it. He loved how messy you looked, with your innocent gaze fixed on him and your chin completely covered with your own saliva.

"Baby," Chan hummed, leaving kisses on your shoulders and clavicles while he made your way to your ear, "do you think you are ready to take our fingers?"

Pulling away from Changbin's digits you nodded eagerly, the sinful scene of your teary eyes and drooling mouth was enough for the both of them to cum right then and there, completely in love by the ruined image of their beautiful best friend.

"I need them inside me," you whispered, "please fuck them inside me".

Changbin lost no time into guiding his hand all over your wet cunt, the digits that were previously fucking your mouth now grazing against your hole and threatening to force themselves into it.

"Are you always this wet when you think of us?" Chan queried, looking at how his bedsheets were now stained with your own juices.

"I am," you admitted, placing your head on his chest while he held you tight against him, "I am always so wet".

Changbin pushed both of his fingers inside you knowing that, with how wet you were and how good you had lubricated his fingers, the feeling was going to be everything but painful.

"Fuck-" you hissed, moving your hips unexpectedly and feeling that foreign tension on your lower back, "God-".

"Do you want to know a secret?" Chan asked, admiring your face of pure bliss as Changbin's fingers fucked your cunt and his palm rubbed against your swollen clit. You weakly nodded. "We often talked about you, me and him," he sighed, "we wondered how many times you had been walking around the apartment with your underwear drenched or how many times you had touched yourself in your room while we were sleeping".

"She is dripping wet," Changbin hummed, his lips approaching one of your ears, "I bet it would be so easy to just bend her over any surface of the apartment and put our cocks inside her pretty pussy, don't you think so?"

"Fuck yes," you whined, your vision getting clouded with each of Changbin's movements, “it would be so easy for you two to have me whenever you please".

"Only for us?" Chan scoffed, your words having the desired effect on him as his bulge grew harder and harder, "you are adorable".

Both of your hands traveled to their laps, your right one on Changbin's and your left one on Chan's. Shyly, you started palming them through their clothes, earning a faint laugh from Changbin who was still working on your cunt.

"Tell us what you want, princess," he cooed, "we might give you permission if you use your words." 

As soon as you were about to speak, Chan's digits replaced Changbin's palm and continued on rubbing your clit while the dark-haired fucked you at a rougher pace, the soft moans becoming louder and louder as the seconds passed by.

"Please, let me touch you," you whined, moving frantically against their hands, "I want to touch you too".

"Go on," he allowed, his voice becoming lower as your timid hands palmed him through the thin fabric of his shorts.

And without losing any more time, you snuck your hands under their clothes, being welcomed by the warmth of their skins as your hands wrapped around their lengths.

However, you were rather impressed by what you found underneath those clothes.

"Don't be scared," Chan murmured as he noticed your countenance, "we will make them fit”. 

You cursed again at his words, the tension on your lower back increasing as well as the frantic movements of your hands around them.

They couldn't help themselves but let out small grunts and sighs as you jerked them off, pulling down their clothes to give you even more access to their cocks.

Moving your hands up and down, the movements soon started to become sloppier and messier, your eyes started to roll to the back of your head and incoherent words and mumbles were escaping your lips as an unfamiliar feeling took control over you.

"You are clenching so fucking hard around me," Changbin groaned, increasing the pace of his digits, "does that feel good, princess?"

"Fuck yes," you sighed, the overwhelming feeling causing tears to prick into the corner of your eyes, "don't stop, don't stop, don't stop".

"You look so pretty like this," Chan praised, his hot breath tickling against your cheek, "all desperate and needy".

"Faster," you cried, moving your hips in circular motions against them, "please touch me faster".

And as good, compassionate best friends they were, the two of them followed your pleas. You knew that it wasn't going to take you long to reach your climax and, with all honesty, you could say that this was something you had never experienced before.

Maybe because of it you looked too desperate and eager in front of them, moving your hips frantically and trembling between their bodies as you reached your high.

The sight was something they would never forget, feeling the way your hand squeezed their cocks with roughnes as you cried and rode your orgasm. 

"Aren't you such a dirty princess?" Changbin groaned, still fucking you at the same pace just when you were reaching the highest point of your climax and forcing both of your legs open, "coming for the first time in no other than your best friend's bed".

"Oh, God," you cried, biting your lower lip while your body was still shaking.

"Don't close them just yet, baby" Chan mumbled, his digits collecting all of your juices while he held you in place, "don't you want to taste yourself?"

You whined at the faint overstimulation from Chan's digits dragging along your slit, getting completely coated by your arousal. They made their way to your lips and you were quick to clean them up completely, bopping your head and drooling all over them.

Soon, the weight on the bed from your right side shifted as Changbin's figure stood up from his seat. Lowering his shorts and underwear completely, his cock was now at full disposal to you.

And God, was he big.

"Come here," he demanded, signaling for you to kneel right in front of him, "show me what you've thought about me”. 

You had given blowjobs before, countless times, but your ex boyfriend was nowhere near to what you had in front of you. Your mind drifted away as it thought about his thick girth filling you up, making you cry both in pain and pleasure but, soon, those trails of thoughts were interrupted when Chan's figure came into the picture.

"We will be gentle," Chan hissed, placing his hand on the back of your head and guiding you all the way to his hardened length, 

Starting off with kitty licks, you dragged your tongue along the tip of Chan's cock. He let out a soft moan that only encouraged you to explore further, taking the head inside of your warm mouth as your hand reached out for Changbin's length.

"Jerk him off while I fuck your mouth, do you think you can do that?" you nodded against his cock, "if I get too rough, squeeze my thigh and I will stop".

You nodded once again, feeling how his hands pushed you deeper into his length. You were not really trained to take him, but you were determined to prove to them that you deserved to be fucked.

"All the way in," he hissed, hearing how you struggled to prevent yourself from gagging, "don't hold back, baby, let me hear you choking on my cock".

Relaxing your throat for a bit, you were able to take more of him. Squeezing Changbin's cock everytime Chan's length reached a deeper spot inside your mouth, he couldn't stop himself from letting out grunts and groans each time.

"My turn," Changbin hissed, one of his hands gripping your hair in a ponytail and guiding your face towards his length. With drool all over your chin, and letting out small coughs, you took Changbin's cock inside as if you were an expert on it. Now, your opposite hand reached out for Chan's length as you stroked himself with your own saliva.

"You are doing a great job," Changbin praised, closing his eyes and slamming his hips slowly against your mouth, "taking two cocks at the same time".

From then on, you started acquiring a pace of your own while sucking them off. Having one of their cocks inside of your mouth while stroking the other one, you spent all the time you were able to before your knees started to hurt and bruise due to the material of the rug.

And even then, you didn't want to stop.

The sound of their groans and moans were turning you on more than you would've thought, your available hand always rubbing against your clit as much as you could, driving you to the edge and tightening the now familiar knot on your lower abdomen.

"You have no idea how many times we fantasized about having you like this," Chan groaned, caressing your hair as he slammed his cock inside your mouth, "kneeling down in front of us with your mouth drooling and wanting to take our cocks completely". 

"She is so pretty," Changbin praised, biting his lower lip as he witnessed the scene of your teary eyes and ruined face alternating between his cock and Chan's, "I wonder how much prettier she will look with all of her holes filled".

A sudden moan escaped your lips as you heard those words. Of course you knew that having sex with more than one partner was a whole different world than what you were used to, but you never got to think about the implications of it.

"Is that what you want?" Chan questioned, his eyes fixed on the way Changbin's cock disappeared in your mouth, "do you want me to fuck your pussy while he fucks your ass?"

You would be lying if you said that the idea of doing so didn't turn you on.

"It is too soon to try anal," Changbin grunted, letting out a desperate sigh as soon as you withdrew from him to take Chan's cock, "she is not ready for it".

"You think so?" the brown-haired queried, burying himself inside your warm mouth, "I am sure she can take it".

Changbin gave him a worried look, but he wasn't going to deny the fact that he was dying to fuck you from behind. He knew how tight your cunt was from earlier, when he was fucking his fingers inside of you, and he could only imagine how much tighter your ass was.

Luckily for the both of you, he always kept a bottle of lube around for those kinds of rendezvous. 

Walking towards the small nightstand right next to his bed, he took out a black, small bottle that caught your whole attention as you awaited on your knees for him.

"I am going to ask you this once," he softly mumbled, caressing your hair and putting a strand of it behind your ear. "Do you really want to try this?"

You knew it was going to be painful but knowing it was them who were causing you pain only turned you even more.

"If you decide that you suddenly don't want it anymore, we will stop," Chan warned.

You stood up from the floor and walked towards the bed, removing your black t-shirt that was now ruined with drool, tears and even precum.

Chan laid down on his own bed with his hardened length inviting you to straddle over him, softly guiding your movements on the bed as he held your hand. You sat down on his lap and allowed him to continue with the task, one of his hands reaching down for the base of his cock to align it with your entrance.

"Are you feeling alright?" he asked you with his jaw clenched, dragging the tip of his cock along your slit and earning a few sighs from the both of you. You simply nodded. "It's going to hurt, but I know you can take him".

You stared at Chan for what it felt like hours, and only regained consciousness of the place and position you were in once you felt the weight of the bed shifting as Changbin positioned himself right behind you, resting one of his hands on your hip while the other one held the bottle of lube.

"I think she is ready," Changbin announced and Chan lost no time in entering you, lifting his hips ever so slightly while burying the tip of his cock inside your tight cunt.

"Oh, Go-d," you breathed, leaning down on his figure while you placed both of your arms on each side of his head.

"Take me all the way in," Chan mumbled, pressing your figure down so that his cock could reach the deepest spots in you.

And even though you weren't a virgin, you had never felt such an overwhelming sentiment like this. He was bigger than what you were used to and he tried to do it delicately but awfully failed as he surrendered to his instincts, pounding himself inside you rather harshly for a beginner but just as pleasant. 

They both gave you a few minutes to get used to Chan's girth, squeezing it and clenching around it every time Changbin caressed your back and neck in an attempt to soothe you before the pain.

"She is so fucking tight around me," Chan hissed with gritted teeth, completely losing his mind over how wet and warm your pussy felt around him.

Just like he imagined it.

"How does it feel to have Chan stretching you open?" Changbin asks softly, placing a couple of wet pecks on your shoulders and neck while he lazily stroked himself with a fair amount of lube.

"It feels good," you admitted with shortness of breath, feeling dizzy on top of Chan. "I've never felt something like this before".

There was something so filthy about hearing you speak in such a manner that Changbin couldn't resist you anymore. You soon felt the palm of his hand on your lower back, pushing your body, forcing it to lean over Chan's and —once he caught the signal— wrapped his arms around you and held you tightly in place.

"Take a deep breath for me," Changbin ordered, getting even harder at the cold sensation of the lube as he poured more on him and your tightest hole. "We are going to count to three, yeah?"

Changbin always appeared to be someone tough but, it was at times like these, where you truly could appreciate such a soft side from him.

"One," he breathed and you felt Chan's arms tightening around you, his face buried on your neck and chest while he felt your body shuddering on top of his.

"Two," Changbin continued and your back unconsciously arched a bit more for him. "And three".

After the last number, you felt a numbing sensation throughout your body. Your toes curled up in pain and you tried hard to muffle the pathetic cries and whimpers but failed almost immediately.

"It hurts so much," you cried and Chan started to caress your back, feeling his heart pounding at a thousand miles per hour as he witnessed your vulnerable body on top of his.

"We know you can take us," Changbin hissed, softly pushing himself even deeper inside you. "All you have to do is get used to our cocks".

You whined and Chan hugged you even tighter, allowing you to cry over him as Changbin stretched your ass carefully. There was something so twisted about feeling your painful tears landing on his neck and chest that, for an unknown reason, riled him up even more.

"Don't move," Changbin ordered and you did as you were told, your hands gripping the bed sheets harshly while you tried your best to overcome the painful –but pleasant– feeling of having them both inside you. "I want to feel you".

Chan's hands traveled from your waist to your back, caressing it while trying to soothe the pain. You spent a good minute or two with your eyes closed, the only audible thing in the room were your cries and their heavy breathing.

"You think you are ready?" Chan asks you softly, leaving soft kisses on your breasts while still having his arms wrapped around your body.

"I think I am," you finally whispered after a few silent seconds, feeling your arms trembling in fear while still being able to hold your whole weight on top of Chan.

Changbin was the first one to move, slowly withdrawing himself from you only to thrust his cock again, making you cry in pain.

"You are doing such a good job," Chan praised, one of his hands reaching out to try the tears that were streaming down your cheeks. "It's just a little bit of pain, I am sure you can take it".

Changbin continued training you, softly pushing his cock inside you while trying to get you used to his girth. The pain never really went away, but the sudden sentiment of pleasure was quick to appear in the equation and, with that, it was ten times more bearable.

"Go on," Changbin hissed, trying his best to control himself. "She can take you now".

Chan lifted his hips slightly and almost came when he saw your grimaces of pleasure and pain, his cock throbbing at the sight of your furrowed eyebrows and teary eyes getting completely lost.

"Am I hurting you?" Chan asked you and you weakly shook your head, unable to focus on him —or anything, for that matter— because of the overwhelming sensations.

And as soon as they were sure you were alright, they started to acquire a pace of their own. They were going slow, much more slower than they would prefer, but it was still pleasant nonetheless.

Chan's lips captured your hardened nipples and, if anything, that single action made everything way more enjoyable. The cries and whines were soon replaced with moans and whimpers, and the gentle movements lost their softness once they both felt you were ready for a bit more.

"I don't think I am going to last long," Chan admitted between sighs, feeling his cock throbbing inside you.

Changbin was on the same page, but they both wanted to give you one more orgasm before their own. One of his hands traveled to your swollen clit and, while they both fucked your holes, he tried to mantain a steady pace while rubbing it.

"Oh my f- God," you moaned, both of your eyes opening like plates once you felt your body jolting at Changbin's touch. "It feels-".

You couldn't describe it, but they both knew what you meant by the way your holes clenched around them.

"You are dripping wet," Changbin whispered, coating his digits with your fluids while trying his best to get you to the promising orgasm. "You think you can come one more time for us?"

You didn't have time to reply when your eyes were already rolling at the back of your head and your arms started to tremble, threatening to lose any strength that was still left in them.

"God," you whispered again, parting your lips and looking like a complete mess for the both of them. "There, right there-".

Changbin increased his pace and it was only a matter of seconds before Chan started to feel your walls tightening around him almost aggressively. He closed his eyes and groaned under his breath, trying his best not to come just yet.

He wasn't wearing a condom and coming inside was definitely not an option —but God, how he wished it was.

"Just like that," Changbin praised while admiring your body shaking instinctively, his hips slamming against yours softly while you were still trying to overcome your high.

"You are making me lose my mind," Chan whispered as he saw your face, feeling completely vulnerable at the sight of your glossy eyes and parted lips. "It isn't fair to have you around and not be able to do this as much as I want".

Your arms lost all their strength and you inevitably fell on top of Chan's body, crying as you felt the overstimulation washing up on you.

"I'm not going to last long either," Changbin hissed and, with a swift movement, pulled out of you. You whined at the sentiment of emptiness, but it was also a relief.

Chan lifted your hips too and followed his best friend's actions, leaving you completely empty and a sobbing mess.

"Where do you want us?" Chan asked, caressing your cheek and pushing a strand of hair away from your face.

"Wherever you both want to," you replied with shortness of breath and feeling a bit dizzy.

Of course they both wanted to finish inside you, but it was definitely not a good idea.

At least not tonight.

So Chan looked at Changbin and he did the same, almost as if they didn't need words to communicate with each other.

"Get on your knees," Changbin ordered and Chan smiled, recalling one of those times where they talked about how pretty you were and how much each fantasized about coming on your face.

She would look even prettier, Chan had said.

You followed their instructions and kneeled in front of Chan's bed, patiently waiting for them to approach your figure.

They both stood in front of you, stroking their cocks with their gazes fixed on your face. Changbin's hand even gripped your hair a bit harshly, setting you closer to them and in place so they could finish on your face.

"Stick your tongue out, baby," Chan panted, increasing the movement of his wrist on his cock.

You soon felt his arousal landing on your cheek, tongue and chin while a series of curses and groans left his lips. Changbin, once he saw the filthy image of you covered in his friend's semen, came next. With him, it was way more messier: tongue, chin, lips, cheek and forehead.

You swallowed their cum proudly, feeling as if it was some sort of reward for being able to take all the things they had chosen to give you that night. And they both admired the scene in awe, feeling their softening cocks twitching at the sight.

"You both taste good," you murmured, still kneeling in front of them. "I never thought I would like it".

Chan caressed your hair softly while Changbin's digits lifted your chin just so they could both catch a better glimpse of your face covered in cum —one of their biggest fantasies.

"Perhaps we should play the game again," Changbin mumbled, collecting some of their semen with his thumb only to push it inside your parted lips. "And see if your bottle of soju is still full after we are done". 

#kpop smut #stray kids smut #skz smut #chan smut #bang chan smut #changbin smut #bangchan smut

[shybunnie20]

Virgin!Eddie Munson x Fem!Reader

strangers to friends to lovers

★Teasers ★Locations ★My Masterlist

Summary: Eddie embarks on a new chapter after finally graduating. He expects to face a variety of hurdles that come with a change of scenery, but what he doesn't anticipate is falling head over heels for you.

Author's Note: Holy shit, I can't believe this is finally finished after 11 months. It’s the first time I've written smut in well over a year and I'm pleased with how it turned out (I couldn't have done it without the support of my beloved @eddiethefreakkmunson)

Location photos are linked above and in the fic at their first mentions. AU with no Upside Down, no use of Y/N, focuses on Eddie's POV, fluff and mild angst with a happy ending *wink wink*

Word count: 17.3k

Warnings: MDNI 18+! alcohol consumption/drunken behavior, subtly pervy moments, masturbation, fondling, dry humping, protected p in v, oral (f receiving), a little bit of praise & possessiveness, includes swearing.

Eddie was determined to leave Hawkins for good as soon as he tossed his graduation cap to the sky. He didn’t expect how expensive a venture like that would be, so he devised a plan. For a couple of months, he would stick around to save up a financial cushion.

To pocket every penny possible, Eddie took up odd jobs around town like mowing lawns and painting fences. With every task completed, he army crawled his way toward living life on his terms. He didn’t expect it to take him well over a year to save up enough cash.

On this sweltering afternoon, the atmosphere is charged with the promise of new beginnings. The summer sun peeks out from behind the dense clouds and casts irregular shadows on the dirt road of Forest Hills.

His van is packed to the brim with boxes of his belongings. After mentally checking everything twice over, uncertainty twists Eddie’s stomach into knots. What if I have car trouble? What if I get lost? What if it’s not everything I hoped it would be?

Wayne descends the concrete steps and joins Eddie. He lets out a belly-deep sigh that speaks volumes. You’ll figure it out. You’re gonna find your way. Your best days are ahead of you.

There’s a hint of sadness in seeing his boy take this significant step toward independence. But beneath that sorrow, profound pride prevails within Wayne. Eddie’s dreams reach far beyond the boundaries of Hawkins. Sticking around here won’t do him any good.

Eddie looks at the man who’s been his rock; the one who used to rise before dawn to plate crispy bacon and fluffy pancakes, meeting Eddie’s needs before his own. The memories are vivid as he reflects on the milestones his uncle guided him through. Without a doubt, Eddie wouldn’t be half the man he is today if it weren’t for Wayne.

His beloved van sits atop the very spot where he once wiped out while learning to ride a bike without training wheels. “It’s time to be a big boy,” Wayne said, urging Eddie to muster some faith in himself.

Reluctantly, Eddie mounted his small bicycle and clutched the rubber handles. With a push to set him off, he experienced the fleeting thrill of accomplishment as he pedaled forward. He only made it a few feet before his balance wavered.

The bike wobbled, sending Eddie tumbling to the gravel. His knees and palms bore the brunt of the fall, and the sharp pebbles embedded themselves into his scraped skin.

Wayne isn’t exactly a ‘rub some dirt on it’ kind of guy, but he isn’t the coddling type either. He cleaned Eddie’s wounds, slapped on some bandages, and told him to give it another shot. Faced with his nephew’s tearful protests, Wayne emphasized that just because failure stings, it shouldn't deter him from trying again.

“I guess this is it then.” Eddie wipes beads of sweat from his brow using the back of his hand.

“Yep, looks that way. It sure will be quiet without y’here. I got so used to living with all that racket of yours.”

“It’s called good music. You should take it for a spin sometime, it’s way better than that honky-tonk shit you made me listen to growing up.”

“I like my honky-tonk shit just fine, thank you,” They share a laugh.

Wayne will undoubtedly miss their banter, but it’s their Sundays together that weighs the most on his heart. Occasionally, the summer graces them with a few perfect days—pleasantly sunny with a stirring breeze. That weather maintained an unspoken tradition.

When little Eddie moved in, he was struggling to find his footing and hadn’t spoken much. Wayne took him to a serene lakeside spot where the water gently lapped against the shore.

He cast his line into the water in pursuit of a crappie dinner, and six-year-old Eddie gleefully played with the live bait. Over the years, their dynamic remained largely unchanged. Wayne watched his bobber from the swaying dock while Eddie kicked back in a folding lawn chair. It was simple father-son time that didn’t cost more than an afternoon or two. As of now, those days are over.

“You sure you’re gonna be alright without me, old man?”

Wayne shrugs and shoves his hands into his front pockets. “I suppose I’ll manage one way or another.” 

“Take care of yourself,” Eddie says firmly.

“Will do. Oof-” Wayne chuckles when he’s abruptly hugged. He smooths over the back of Eddie’s head with his calloused palm.

The men hold onto one another, their unspoken sentiments conveyed in the silent embrace. They exchange a pat on the back before parting.

Wayne’s eyes follow his nephew as he closes the rear doors and makes his way toward the front of the van. “Eddie, one last thing. Remember to take your chances while ya got 'em and strike while the iron’s hot. Don’t let nothin’ pass ya by.”

Offering a firm salute, Eddie hops up and settles into the driver’s seat.

With Hawkins in the rearview mirror, Eddie sets off. Chicago may not be the sprawling metropolises of New York or Los Angeles, but it’s a world apart from his hometown.

It’s far enough away to provide a much-needed change of scenery, yet close enough that he can move back home if things go to shit.

The drive goes smoothly overall with a couple of instances of getting turned around. By the time Eddie is finished with the long hours on the road, he’s bone-weary.

His new place may not be the epitome of luxury, but it’s a roof over his head and that’s all that matters. After lugging his things to the fourth floor, Eddie can finally consider himself moved in. His apartment lacks furniture and decor, but it’s a space he can call his own.

The throbbing of an unbearable intensity plagues his thighs, a fiery reminder of the multiple flights of stairs conquered. He collapses onto his twin mattress and emits a low groan. The sound bounces off the bare walls and echoes through the studio apartment.

Eddie starts noticing the difference in sounds around him. Gone are the barking dogs and tires rolling over gravel. His fridge hums like the one in the trailer, which is nice, but it’s not remotely loud enough to drown out the argument happening in the unit above his.

When the noise finally subsides, he hopes to catch up on some much-needed sleep. But just a few minutes later, the ruckus rekindles. In a bid for tranquility, Eddie clutches his pillow to his ears to block out the animalistic makeup sex seeping through his ceiling.  He’s praying that the man is a two-pump chump because this is a lot for a first night. Hell, it’s too much for any night.

In a matter of days, Eddie has already encountered a series of issues. Whenever he tries to use hot water, his shower head screeches like a banshee. And the upstairs neighbors? They wear bricks for shoes and have a hoedown at 2 a.m. on a nightly basis; that is, if they’re not at each other’s throats.

Job hunting has been fruitless. The gas stations, car washes, and tobacco shops turned him down for the same reason: no documented experience. This means that he’s going to be stuck with the makeshift bed frame he came with for a while, which is just wooden planks zip-tied together. He’s not sure how long it’ll be able to withstand his tossing and turning.

There’s good news, though. Eddie refused to succumb to defeat. Today, he strolled past a tattoo parlor and impulsively checked it out. When he approached the counter, Eddie was met by an imposing man with a rather unwelcoming demeanor. In spite of feeling a bit intimidated, he greeted the man warmly.

As expected, the shop owner Cliff, did not reciprocate. When Eddie inquired about job openings, Cliff promptly replied with a curt “no.” Eddie’s tone grew desperate and he nearly pleaded. Cliff became irritated and offered a non-existent custodial position just to get Eddie to shut up and leave.

Currently sprawled on the rickety mattress, Eddie holds Mr. Pickles in the air and looks up at him. His trusty plushie is a bit worse for wear, having had his seams sutured with crimson battle vest thread.

“We’re doing it, buddy. We’re finally doing it.”

Shortly after moving in with his uncle, he had trouble falling asleep in the unfamiliar trailer. Wayne, hoping to provide comfort, gifted Eddie the stuffed bunny. It swiftly became a treasured part of his life, symbolizing safety and support—two things he hadn’t received much of up to that point.

The floppy-eared companion got its name from Wayne’s favorite snack. Whenever his uncle would pop the lid on a fresh jar of pickles, young Eddie would erupt into a fit of laughter. He insisted that Wayne was going to transform into a pickle due to how fast he blows through a jar.

In his twenties now, Eddie still cuddles with Mr. Pickles every night. If his pal could talk, he’d tell him how proud he is. Eddie rolls onto his side and nuzzles the bunny’s worn fur. That smile lingers on his face while he drifts off to sleep, now with a sense of hope for the days ahead.

The time has come. Eddie has worn through his entire wardrobe and needs to make a trip to the laundromat. Having a washer in the trailer was something he didn’t fully appreciate until now.

Taking a quick look around his apartment, Eddie spots a cardboard box that’ll suffice in lieu of a laundry basket. He fills the box with the scattered clothes from the floor, slips on his sneakers, and makes his way out onto the street.

Nestled in the heart of his neighborhood, Eddie arrives at his destination. The air carries an overwhelming fresh scent of detergent. It’s not bustling by any means; there are only a handful of people here.

Compared to those who are well-versed in their routine, Eddie feels out of place. He chooses an available machine and plops his box of dirty clothes on the counter behind him. He inspects the front-loading washer, not versed in its functions and operation. Eddie goes to open the machine’s door but it refuses to yield.

His patience wanes with each futile tug. Just as frustration peaks, a sudden realization dawns on him, prompting a blush to sweep across his cheeks. There’s a lock hidden on the flip side of the handle.

With the press of his thumb, the lock disengages and the door screeches open. Hot under the collar, Eddie hastily scoops up his clothes and stuffs them into the damp drum. He slams the door shut with a mechanical click, the sound signaling the lock relatching. 

This place lacks helpful signage, to say the least. The only one here displays the cost of running a cycle, but there’s nothing to guide newcomers through the process.

Eddie pulls out his wallet to retrieve a few quarters. After inserting them, he figures out the detergent tray without much trouble. But as Eddie presses the START button repeatedly, increasing his force with each press, the machine stubbornly refuses to respond.

“You have to choose a setting.”

Eddie jumps at the sound of your voice, his brows arched and mouth hanging open. “Huh?”

You walk over from the adjacent wall of driers a few feet away. “It won’t start unless you select a wash setting first.”

He looks at you like a deer-in-the-headlights, so you step in and set the machine to delicate for him. The washer springs to life and water begins to fill the drum.

“Ah, that makes sense,” Eddie says while rubbing the back of his neck. “These are so different from the one I had back home.”

“Where’s home?” You ask, resuming your task of folding your clean laundry on the nearby counter.

Eddie is visibly taken aback by your continued engagement. “A town in Indiana that you’ve definitely never heard of,” He starts to fidget with the detergent jug’s cap, though it’s already sealed.

Suddenly, Eddie feels self-conscious about his appearance. Talking to a cute girl wasn’t on the agenda today, he didn’t dress for this. He regrets choosing function over fashion; his denim shorts are an old pair of Wayne’s jeans that he cropped to wear while mowing lawns. The raw hems are messily frayed and the light blue is darkened with grass stains.

“Indiana, huh? You’re a ways from home then. What brings you to The Windy City?”

Eddie’s attention lands on your pile of clothes, subtly assessing your wardrobe choices. “Uh- just needed a change of pace, I guess.”

“Chasing the dream, right? Figured Chicago had more to offer?” You peek at him, catching his stare fixed on a pair of underwear at the top of the pile—a standard white cotton panty, nothing worth ogling.

“Yeah,” Eddie agrees, his posture stiffening when you make eye contact. He swallows hard, averts his gaze, and shifts his weight between the balls of his feet. “Something like that.”

“Did you bring your band with you?” You take the undergarment in question and fold it, seemingly unfazed.

As you move the folded pile into your laundry basket, his clothes start thumping inside the machine, causing suds to splash against the glass window. 

Eddie’s brows knit together. “How’d you know I have a band?”

“You’ve got the look,” You remark as your eyes travel over him.

He leans back against the counter and crosses his arms. “Is that so? Do enlighten me, what’s the dead giveaway?”

“Your hair,” You suggest charmingly.

Eddie swishes his brunette curls like a lady in a shampoo commercial. “Too predictable?” 

“I’d say it’s on brand. Let me guess, Slayer? Maybe a little Dio or Megadeth?”

Eddie narrows his eyes at you before looking down at his shoes. “Jesus Christ, you’re reading me like a goddamn book.”

You cock your head to the side, playfulness tugging at your lips. “And if I were to look for this book in a store, what name might I find it under?”

“Eddie,” He lets his arms fall to his sides. When you tell him your name, it bounces around in his head. How pretty, he thinks.

After lifting your full laundry basket, you step away from the counter. “Good luck with the dryers. Oh, and just a heads up, those doors lock too. Don’t go yankin’ the handle off unless you’re looking to take home a souvenir,” You giggle to yourself as you walk out of the laundromat.

Eddie’s mouth hangs open while he watches you leave. Once you’re gone, his attention drifts to the nearby bulletin board. Among the various flyers, one advertises an open mic night. He decides that he’ll check it out sometime this week.

At Double Barrel Bar, Eddie is swallowed by a sea of mainstream nonconformity. The bar-goers are dressed similarly to him, and while the crowd is mostly younger people, they’re still a touch older than him. 

A symphony of clinking glasses and animated chatter collides with the thunderous live metal music. The dense haze of tobacco smoke and the distant clatter of pool balls only enrich the ambiance. The walls are adorned with framed music memorabilia and band posters, a mix of global icons and local talents.

Eddie is enveloped with nostalgia. This place reminds him of the gigs he used to play with Corroded Coffin, although they never played for an audience this size. Staring at the stage, he questions whether he could engage such a crowd and persuade them that he’s worth listening to.

Between two other men at the bar, Eddie takes a seat.

Lee, the bartender, greets him. “What can I get ya?”

Eddie shrugs and hooks his sneakers beneath the rung of the stool. “I'll take a cold one, whatever's cheapest.”

“You got it. Bottle or tap?” Lee wipes his hands on the white rag draped over his shoulder.

“Bottle is fine.”

Lee retrieves a bottle of beer and deftly pops the cap before sliding it over to Eddie.

His fingers curl around the icy glass, the condensation cool to the touch. Eddie’s plump lips wrap around the bottle’s rim and he takes his first sip. The crisp liquid trickles down his throat, offering a short-lived remedy for the stuffiness of the room. 

As Lee tends to another patron, Eddie fidgets in his seat, causing the flier in his back pocket to crinkle. “So, you host an open mic?”

“Yeah, Thursday through Sunday. Are you any good?” Lee asks.

Eddie flips his guitar pick necklace between his fingers. “I like to think so. I guess you’d have to ask the ants in my kitchen, they’re the closest thing I've had to an audience lately.”

Lee snorts. “I've got a good feeling about you, I’m gonna reserve a spot.”

“Oh, uh- you don't have to do that.”

Lee waves his hand in dismissal and gathers the abandoned glassware from the now-empty seat beside Eddie. “No pressure, just swing by on Thursday if you’re interested.”

The opportunity intrigues Eddie, but performing alone is uncharted territory. Contemplating the offer, Eddie grapples with a cloud of self-doubt looming over his decision.

It’s been two months, and his routine is now established. Each day brings progress and a sense of reward, even though there have been occasional hiccups along the way.

Surviving the sweltering summer with a broken AC was sheer hell. He found himself spending ample time nude in his apartment or standing in front of the open freezer compartment of the refrigerator; sometimes simultaneously. Fortunately, September has arrived, and the temperature has begun to wind down.

Managing expenses requires a frugal approach, given the modest pay from his custodial job. Eddie resorts to taking power showers and using candles to keep his utility bill low.

Sometimes he forgoes meals to keep an extra couple of bucks on hand. But when he does eat, he opts for saltine crackers slathered in butter, bologna sandwiches, canned soups, and plain noodles. Occasionally he treats himself to store-bought pasta sauce, though it’s still the saddest spaghetti known to man.

Eddie faces skepticism from the seasoned artists at the tattoo shop, all military veterans who view him as an arrogant kid. Their perception fuels his determination to prove himself. To earn their respect, he’s dedicated to cleaning more thoroughly than he ever has in his life.

He’s become keenly observant, absorbing every detail of the professional tattooing process, despite never being included in those conversations. Within the circle of artists—Ace, Lunchbox, and Dozer—Eddie gravitates toward Ace, who becomes a mentor. Seeing Eddie’s genuine enthusiasm, Ace asks about his drawing abilities. 

Although Eddie’s sketchbook is brimming with fantastical creatures, Ace can recognize a young man’s raw ambition and desire for direction and purpose. He takes Eddie under his wing, allowing him to learn the medium while on the clock.

After taking Lee up on his offer, Eddie found himself on stage every Thursday night. His performances were rusty, as he hadn’t played in front of anyone since before he was working his ass off to get here.

As he strummed through the jitters, Eddie rediscovered the sanctuary that music had always offered. It felt like a part of him had resurrected, reviving the passion he sorely missed.

Playing Thursday nights may not rake in tips like the weekends would, but he’ll take what he can get. Eddie’s been saving up for some pre-owned furniture, and he’s happy to snag any extra cash he can for it.

Life is good right now. The worry about moving back home has lessened, and he’s genuinely amazed at how smoothly things are going. Just when Eddie thought things couldn’t get any better, a Saturday night slot opened up at the bar.

It would be twice as busy, packed from wall to wall with people who could bare witness to him fucking up. Doubt crept its way in, but when Lee mentioned that Eddie could pocket thirty-five bucks or more by the night’s end, it was a no-brainer.

Tonight marks his debut Saturday gig. Stepping through the red brick archway and out onto the stage, the creak of the rustic boards beneath his feet sends a ripple up his legs. Eddie hasn’t even made it to the mic and he’s already forgotten what foot he’s supposed to be stepping with next.

Beneath his t-shirt, his back grows slick. A lump lodges itself in Eddie’s throat, causing his voice to crack when he introduces himself to the room. Amidst the overlapping conversations and the flushing from the nearby restroom, the amassed noise seems muffled. The strong winds in his head distort the sounds, whirling like a twister.

Eddie hooks his guitar up to the amp and forces himself to take a deep breath. As he tunes his instrument, the upheaval begins to settle. Gradually, Eddie finds unity with his guitar and concentrates on perfecting the tone.

Throughout the performance, there’s a persistent undertow of nerves refusing to fully subside. In spite of his efforts to lose himself in the music, his fingers occasionally falter as they dance on the strings.

At the end of his set, Lee can be heard whooping and hollering over the sparse clapping. With a sense of relief, Eddie packs up and makes a beeline for the bar, eager to ease the adrenaline coursing through his veins. Normally, the rush is akin to a high, but this time around it’s so intense that he’s dying to dial it back a notch.

He splurges and orders something a bit fancier than his usual bland beer. Why not celebrate a little? Eddie claims a recently vacated table in the bustling crowd, seating himself on the leather stool adorned with studs. His eyes roam the room while he takes a swig of his drink, savoring the superior crisp taste.

His attention zeroes in on a figure just feet away, a quick recognition igniting in his mind. Eddie recognizes you instantly, due to the scarcity of memorable encounters he’s had.

Eddie observes from afar, observing your mannerisms as you execute your waitressing duties. You must only work weekends, which would explain why your paths haven’t crossed again until now. When your eyes meet his, a shock shoots through his body.

He sits in rapt anticipation as you make your way over. Time seems to stretch unbearably from your previous spot until you finally stand opposite of him, separated only by the circular wooden table.

A courteous smile graces your face—a skill that waitresses must master if they want to pay rent. “Ready for another?”

Eddie stares back at you. His eyes drift down to the almost full beer bottle in his hand. The cogs in his skull are scraping, unable to put the words you’ve said to him in a comprehensive order. He nods without making a peep.

You pivot to leave, but then turn back to him and lift a brow at his unaltered dumbstruck expression. “Are you sure? ‘Cause you don’t look it.”

He remains silent and shakes his head sheepishly, feeling foolish for agreeing to another beer and then changing his mind just because you asked again. Is there more dignity in being indecisive than a bumbling mess?

“You were just singing up there for nearly an hour,” you call him out, folding your arms and tucking your serving tray against your side. “I know you can talk.”

Eddie clears his throat, but he ends up making an odd sound. “Uh, my throat’s a bit sore, that’s all.”

“Did you forget to do your vocal warm-ups or what?”

“It probably sounded like I did,” Eddie laughs, the self-deprecation evident.

“Not at all, I thought you were great.”

“You did?” Eddie’s lips curl at your compliment. Heat blooms on his cheeks, amplifying the full-body perspiration. He takes a casual sip from his beer, a guise to moisten his dry mouth and escape your intimidating gaze.

“Totally, you really come alive when you’re up there,” you rest your forearms on the table’s edge. “Is it just Eddie, or do you go by a stage name?”

No way. There’s no fucking way that you remember him, his face is so forgettable it’s not even funny. Lee had to have said something about who was filling the Saturday night spot. Eddie is inwardly thrilled to hear his name roll off of your tongue, but he tries to maintain his composure. “I suppose not, I guess I never thought about it.”

“You could pull it off, it suits the whole ‘one-man show’ thing you’ve got going on,” You say while giving him a once-over. The intrigue on your face is unwavering as you walk away.

He’s drunk, he has to be. Or maybe his drink was spiked somehow. The room is spinning and he feels nauseous as all hell, despite only having taken a few swigs from his beer.

A short while later, Eddie’s bottle is half-empty as he sits, continuously replaying the moment in his mind. More specifically, he can’t stop thinking about the sparkle in your eyes; he’s never seen anything like it.

He snaps back from his daydream at the sight of your return, this time with an unopened beer in hand. Eddie looks nothing short of puzzled as you slide it across the table toward him. “Uh, no thanks, I’m-”

“Relax, it’s not for you. I’ll be clocking out in six minutes. I wanna hear more about that small town of yours. I mean, as long as that’s okay with you. I understand if you have other plans tonight.”

“No!” Eddie exclaims. “I mean, yes it’s more than okay, and no, I don’t have anywhere to be.”

You glance downward while scuffing your shoe against the floor. “Okay, cool. Keep it cold for me then?” 

“Yeah, for sure. You can count on me.”

Shit shit shit. How is he going to keep this beer cold? Of course, ways to heat it flood his mind. If you come back to a lukewarm beer, that’ll be the end of him. He’s going to fuck this up and any chance of getting to know you will be squashed.

When you join him again, your drink is still cold and the bottle has left a ring of moisture on the paper coaster. Eddie’s unsure of how he managed to not lose it; if he’s capable of anything, it’s misplacing something when his only responsibility is to keep it in his possession. 

As you slide onto the stool beside him, you’re quick to inquire. You ask him typical ice-breaker questions at first, and Eddie responds with a plethora of details. At times, he goes off on tangents. You don’t appear bothered by it.

Eddie talks about his ability to learn how to play songs by ear, and he delves into the intricacies of his favorite Dungeons & Dragons campaigns that he’s created over the years. He earnestly tries to convey its depth to you and throughout his ramblings, he doesn’t miss the concentrated look on your face as you try to keep up.

Lee is nearing the end of his cleaning routine and the other waitresses have left for the night. Neither of you is aware that the bar is devoid of a crowd, scorching lights, and blaring music.

Eddie has been too busy asking you about your origins and passions, his wide eyes and attentive demeanor affirming his genuine interest. Just as he mentions working at the shop and you’ve asked him how many tattoos he has, you’re interrupted.

Lee stands beside the table, armed with a damp rag and a spray bottle. “Awfully hard to wipe the seats when your asses are still on them. Scoot your booch,” Lee instructs by motioning toward the entrance.

Eddie doesn’t hesitate to slip off his stool. You, on the other hand, take your sweet time.

“Have a good night,” You say and give Lee’s shoulder a friendly pat.

Uncertain of his next move, Eddie hesitates while you make your way to an unmarked door. It’s half past two in the morning, and he feels a tug of concern about you leaving by yourself.

There’s a very good chance that you’d consider him clingy or intrusive if he waits here. Eddie opts to stand outside. He props himself against the building and idly nudges a loose chunk of concrete with his shoe to keep himself occupied. Soon after, you emerge into the night.

The slam of the heavy door prompts him to straighten up. “Hey.”

“Oh, I thought you left,” you admit and adjust your purse strap on your shoulder. “Thanks for telling me about Hawkins the Hell Hole.”

“The pleasure was all mine. Do you, uh…” Eddie inches forward, his Reeboks scraping loudly on the pavement. “Would you like me to walk you home? It’s pretty late.”

“I don’t live far, it’s just a few blocks.’

“Okay, I guess I’ll see you around then?”

Your eyes twinkle brighter than he’d previously seen. “I’d say the odds are in your favor.”

“Goodnight. Get home safe,” He says with a half-hearted bow.

“Likewise,” You reply, biting back a giggle.

Eddie watches you fade into the darkness along the unlit patches of sidewalk. Once you’ve turned the corner, Eddie smiles from the surreal sensation of floating on clouds.

In this moment, the feeling of joy is so potent that it’s borderline palpable. He’s the embodiment of elation, a soul soaring high. It’s a feeling he wishes he could bottle up and carry with him forever.

The next Saturday plays out much like the previous one, save for one detail: it’s considerably tougher to concentrate on stage knowing who’s in the audience. Post-performance, the routine echoes that of the prior week. The two of you gravitate toward the same table as before, establishing it as the one you’ll always sit at.

At first, a hesitation lingers before diving into more personal topics. However, as the night progresses and more beers are consumed, you seamlessly fall into them. Eddie weaves elements of drama and romanticism into his past, making it utterly engrossing for you to listen to.

When you propose getting together outside of the confines of the bar for the first time, Eddie eagerly accepts your invitation to show him around since he has yet to do any sightseeing.

Eddie is swept up in an exuberant wave of boyish excitement, and it’s unlike anything he’s ever felt. He never experienced it during his teenage years like the average person. The sheer thrill of having an instant connection with a girl is an entirely new feeling for him.

Week after week, your laundry days are synchronized and you’ve started the habit of making silly faces or giving each other the finger just because. During the late nights spent together at Dove’s Diner, Eddie finds enjoyment in seeing you eat. It’s a peculiar fascination, but it makes him happy. Seeing you completely at ease while enjoying greasy food is endearing to him.

When he arrived in Chicago, Eddie couldn’t shake the feeling of not wanting to move back to Hawkins. Even so, he wasn’t experiencing the same comfort here as he did in that cramped trailer.

There was a longing for familiarity that he had in his old surroundings. Eddie didn’t want to have to go back home in order to feel that sense of belonging again. He had his doubts about ever truly adjusting to life here until you came along. In your company, the foreignness of the city fades away, replaced by that feeling he’s been missing.

Several times, he’s been working in his sketchbook, adding to the pin-up style figures and faces that bear a striking resemblance to you. While engrossed in drawing, he hadn’t picked up on the similarities. But when he absentmindedly drew a simple heart, that's when it occurred to him.

Eddie like-likes you.

As your shift comes to an end, you head to the back room to gather your belongings. Eddie stands idly at your claimed table, picking at his hangnails while he waits.

“When’re you gonna ask her out?” Lee asks while tidying up nearby.

Eddie laughs heartily at the idea. “How about never.” 

“You should. I can tell she’s into you.”

“Yeah, right. I don’t stand a chance.”

Lee puts down his spray bottle and looks at Eddie. “Listen, I’ve known her for a while now. Trust me on this,” he dumps a used ashtray out into a trash bag.

Eddie emits a noise of disbelief, his mind flickering back to the painful lesson he learned in his youth—he’s no one's type. Lost in reflection, he doesn’t realize you’ve returned with your sweatshirt draped over your bent arm.

Despite the tiring evening, you're upbeat in his presence. “Okay, I’m ready! I was thinking we could get some takeout and watch TV at my place.”

“Sure, I could eat,” Eddie says with a grin. Lee is shaking his head, looking particularly smug.

Your apartment is the polar opposite of Eddie’s, the difference is like day and night. It has a homey atmosphere and there’s a notable absence of wear and tear. He does have band posters, framed personal photos, and furniture, but they fail to create the same inviting ambiance that your apartment effortlessly exudes.

Seated beside Eddie on your couch, you tease him. “You’re terrible at this.”

“I’m trying!” He attempts to mimic your technique, but the piece of chicken repeatedly falls from his chopsticks.

“I can see that,” you stifle a laugh. “And you’re total shit at it.”

Out of frustration, Eddie impales his sweet and sour chicken with both sticks.

Glancing your way, he catches you smiling ear to ear, watching him. Eddie smiles back as he chews. “What? This way works just as well.”

You laugh and refocus your on the TV while resuming your meal. Eddie swears that you’re sitting closer to him than when you first sat down. Your thigh is almost touching his and your shoulder is just as close.

The paranoia subsides as he gets lost in thinking about how he can feel the heat radiating off of your bare thigh. But Eddie’s pulled back to reality when your chopsticks cut across his vision and dig into his takeout box.

He doesn’t mind, not really; sharing is caring. Having said that, when you lean over to look into the box, your shoulder bumps against his. A particularly appreciative sound escapes your lips, one that’s borderline pornographic.

“That’s really good, I’ll have to get some next time,” you hum and place your takeout box on the coffee table. “Or I could just keep stealing yours, it tastes better that way.”

Eddie is frozen, eyes unblinking. As you return to your spot on the sofa, you’re unquestionably closer this time. Your beautiful skin is on display in those shorts of yours and your bare thigh is brushing against his own. He could choke on air right now if he were still breathing.

You look over at him, your brow furrowed. “You good?”

“Yeah, yep. All good,” Eddie avoids making eye contact and stares blankly ahead. “Peachy keen.”

“Okay, weirdo,” you brush off his abrupt awkwardness and scoot toward the edge of the cushion. After gathering your trash, you look at him. “All finished?”

“Mhm,” He replies weakly and extends his box toward you.

With your arms full, you head into the kitchen, leaving him by his lonesome in the living room.

Eddie releases a heavy sigh and drags his hands down his face. Your absence allows him to reenter his body, but it only makes him keenly aware of his not-so-subtle half hard-on that’s outlined through the thin fabric of his shorts.

His eyes widen in alarm and panic takes over. “Shit!” Frantically brainstorming ways to conceal it, Eddie spots a fuzzy blanket at the far end of the couch and he retrieves it, draping it over his lap. While he tries to make himself look as casual as possible, he catches a glimpse of your approaching shadow just before the kitchen light is switched off.

In the few seconds he has left, Eddie tries out various hand placements, but none feel quite right. Every position feels forced and conspicuous.

As you stride back to the couch, your sweet expression eases some of the tension in his bones. “I got a bit chilly,” Eddie blurts out, hoping to preempt any impending questioning. “Is it okay if I use this?”

“No, I’m totally gonna tell you that you can’t use a blanket for its sole purpose.”

Eddie laughs nervously, “Alright, alright.”

This is arguably worse, being wrapped in your scent. It’s awfully hard not to get any harder when your natural smell is flooding his head. It’s intoxicating, and he finds himself inhaling deeply to capture as much of it as he can.

“What’d I miss?” You ask while plopping back down beside him.

The continuous movement causes Eddie to clench his back molars together because an image surges before he can even think to suppress it. He’d bet all the money he has that you’d look stunning on top of him. There’s fantasy looming alongside the image; Eddie wonders what you look like beneath your clothes.

“Nothing, you didn’t miss anything,” He mutters. When you start to squirm against the back of the couch, Eddie shoots you a questioning look. “You got ants in your pants?”

You huff, “No, there’s an itchy spot on my back. Could you scratch it for me, please? It’s driving me nuts.”

“Oh, um, sure,” Eddie fumbles for words as you angle yourself and present your back to him. “Where is it?”

“Right between my shoulder blades.”

Eddie’s eyes zero in on the outline of your bra strap that’s visible through your shirt across your back. Given his luck, that would be the target. Just to be cautious, he starts by scratching at the higher middle part of your back.

“A little lower.”

Eddie swallows hard as his fingers tentatively inch their way down. His belly begins to swirl the closer he gets to the clasp, but thankfully, you stop him just before he reaches it.

“Right there! Yeah, harder.”

If this goes on too much longer, Eddie could very well pass out. But, per your request, he applies more pressure. Beneath the blanket, the discomfort has only intensified—his arousal is now raging with a persistent ache.

“Oh my god, finally,” You say appreciatively and settle back into a more relaxed position.

The overwhelming urge to touch himself skyrockets as his body begs for friction. Eddie repositions himself to adjust the blanket, hoping to keep his erection concealed. From the corner of his eye, his gaze drifts along your figure, pausing at the rise and fall of your diaphragm as you watch TV.

A jagged breath falls from his lips, but he’s determined to clear his mind. Realizing that he can’t leave here tonight with your blanket as a shield, he has to find a way to distract himself by the end of this program.

Miraculously, he survived. Now lying in his bed, Eddie is surrounded by the darkness, save for the glow of the moon and the faint residual light from the streetlamps filtering through the broken blinds. Eddie stares up at the ceiling while his mostly naked body responds to the vivid recollections swarming his train of thought.

On any ordinary day, Eddie would resort to the routine of using his hand and lotion to relieve himself. Be that as it may, the stirring in his core demands a different sensation.

With the thought of you weighing heavily on his mind, there’s an alternative means by which he’s going to alleviate the frustration and desire that’s grown too loud to ignore. Eddie, already shirtless, yanks his boxers off in a swift motion and kicks them off carelessly. Moving onto his knees, he leans over the edge of his bed and retrieves a pillow from the floor.

He sits back on his heels in the middle of his bed and contorts the stuffing with intent. For a moment, he’s not sure how he wants to use it. His body’s impatience grows, causing his erection to bob expectantly.

Eddie licks his lips in anticipation and sets the bent pillow down with the bend facing him. With one hand, he firmly holds the makeshift toy in place. With his other, he strokes himself languidly, blotting the fabric of the pillowcase with precum as he taps his cock against it repeatedly.

Experimentally, Eddie rolls his hips downward, thrusting the sensitive underside of his length against the smooth material. His eyes fall closed, and he can’t seem to pick just one aspect of you to fantasize about, not when every inch of you is so captivating. Eddie grunts, “Yeah, you like that?”

He adjusts his hips, angling them lower to get more friction. The heat blooming causes Eddie’s jaw to go slack. The usual five or six minutes have been halved as the thought of your smile makes Eddie embarrassingly close already.

Wanting to get in a few more thrusts before he’s spent, Eddie pistons himself against the pillow. “Tell me how badly you want me, I wanna hear you say it.”

With one fist continuing to pin the pillow down against the mattress, Eddie trails his other hand up his pale, slender stomach. He digs his gnawed-down nails into his skin, leaving red streaks behind, as he tries to imagine it as your touch. Eddie doesn’t know what it would feel like if it wasn’t his hand, but the thought of you is more than enough.

Devoid of any visual aid, the absence of a magazine or porno tape isn’t hindering him. Typically, when Eddie only has his imagination to utilize, he can beat off without finishing until he eventually gets bored and gives up.

This time it’s different. As his thoughts run wild, Eddie’s rhythm falters. The bed frame squeaks, and the wood shifts while he thrusts as hard as he can.

“Uhhh,” A coarse moan pours from his throat as his cum shoots onto the pillow. Eddie’s thrusts slow to a stop and he pants. The tension in his abdomen gradually subsides as he floats his way back down to earth.

His eyes flutter open, and he’s faced with the mess he made. “Fuckin’ hell,” With a sigh, Eddie decides that he’ll deal with it tomorrow.

After changing into fresh boxers, he chugs down a glass of tap water. Utterly exhausted, Eddie collapses back onto his bed. The aged frame creaks in protest to his abrupt flop. The intensity has been burned away, and what lingers is rawness.

Here’s the thing, Eddie has a way with words, and his unconventional charm comes without a second thought. But conveying himself physically is a different story. His upbringing lacked affection, and consequently, Eddie was robbed of particular milestones. Among those missed moments was sitting on the grass beneath a starry night sky on summer night.

Eddie never got to pluck the green blades from the ground as he gathered the courage to have his first kiss. He hasn’t so much as held someone’s hand before.

With Mr. Pickles tucked under his chin, a wave washes over his heart, wading him further into the tide of ache. Eddie may be inexperienced but he’s not stupid. He’s picking up what you’re putting down. Your persistent hints practically scream at him to make a move.

But your persistence only worsens the anxiety because Eddie’s not sure that he can take the leap like you want him to. It’s not that he doesn’t want you, that couldn’t be further from the truth. It’s uncertainty about what to do if he gets to be with you.

Eddie’s drawn to you, his poor pillow could tell you that much. This isn’t the first night he’s spent laying here trying to talk some sense into himself. When he practices being smooth instead of awkward, Eddie struggles to navigate through the hypothetical scenarios that he’s in complete control of.

If his bedroom walls could speak, they’d tell of those nights. But after the sinful act he just committed, they have a hell of a lot more to say. Those bold utterances were far from who he is. It was a facade, a portrayal of a self-assured man he’ll never embody.

Talking dirty made him feel powerful in the moment because the mask allowed him to avoid facing how he truly feels about you. At his core, what Eddie craves is to baby you, he wants to show you that he can be sensitive. He’d die on the spot to see you in a state of delight from being showered with adoration.

Eddie closes his eyes and envisions a world where he can be what you want. He’d never be oblivious to having food in his teeth, and he’d never push a door that should be pulled. This false reality is one where he doesn’t disappoint you by shying away from your advances. It’s unrealistic, he’s just not wired that way.

During his younger years, Eddie endured the worst of taunting. The other kids mocked his short frizzy curls by referring to it as a “rat’s nest.” They told him that he’d resemble a troll until his dying days.  It was ingrained into him that he was unworthy of any form of love—be it familial, platonic, or romantic. The remarks made about Eddie’s prominent nose convinced him that he was a walking safety hazard and he’d poke someone’s eye out if he ever dared to kiss them.

In the seventh grade, Eddie hit a breaking point. He was fed up with having chewing gum put into his curls. There are too many times to count where Wayne sat for hours with a jar of peanut butter, attempting to free the cemented wads from his nephew’s locks. One day, Eddie stood in front of the mirror in the cramped bathroom and cried at the discovery of another bright pink clump of gum tangled in his hair.

It may have been just one piece at that time, but it was the final straw. Out of desperation, Eddie did the only thing he felt would solve the problem for good. By taking matters into his own hands, he used the clippers to give himself a buzz-cut. As chestnut-colored locks cascaded down, settling atop the sink and his feet, the damage was done.

Wayne lent a hand in handling the patchy spots in the back of Eddie’s head that he couldn’t quite reach. The impromptu solution worked as he’d hoped, but it only opened the door to different torment. 

The following school day, his classmates didn’t hold back, likening his appearance to that of an inmate waiting to meet Old Sparky, or cruelly suggesting that he resembles his imprisoned father.

Eddie quickly came to understand that he was never going to be the guy girls wished would ask them to the dance. The scars of rejection were etched into his self-esteem, and since then, he’s come to terms with his inadequacy.

Perhaps you’re interested in Eddie because there are still things you don’t know about him. Surely, once you learn how unworthy he is, you’ll laugh in his face just as the others did.

Tonight he’s shielded from the nightlife commotion inside his van, parked along the curb outside your apartment. He sits patiently, watching the pine tree-shaped air freshener gently sway with the feeble push of air from the AC vents.

It’s Friday night, and there’s nothing he’d rather do than spend it with you. Eddie directs his attention toward your building as you descend the steps of your apartment’s stoop.

Eddie detects the effort, even from afar. Your shoes look new and you’re wearing more makeup than he’s used to seeing you in. These differences have him pondering the significance behind the deliberate choices.

When Eddie casually suggested catching a movie a few days ago, he hadn’t thought much of it. To him, it was merely something you hadn't done together. He didn’t think twice when you got so excited about seeing a late-night showing of Die Hard.

It’s dawning on him that it wasn’t because you’re a big Bruce Willis fan. The reason you’re all gussied up is because this is a date. He asked you out on a date.

This is not a problem, per se. Eddie’s thrilled about going on his very first date, but fear also has him in a chokehold because he’s unprepared.

Wayne never took the time to give his nephew the lowdown on dating. It didn’t come up because Eddie never displayed interest or curiosity about it.

He’s at a loss. Eddie doesn’t know how to carry himself, he doesn’t have a clue about what’s considered proper etiquette beyond what he’s seen on TV and in movies. Are those even reliable sources?

As you cross the sidewalk in his direction, Eddie’s palms grow slick. It suddenly registers that he should be outside, ready to hold the car door open for you. But before he can act on this realization, you swiftly swing the door open and slip onto the passenger seat.

"Hi," You chirp, the sound almost a squeak as you close the car door behind you. You subtly adjust the bottom of your dress before securing your seatbelt.

“Hey,” Eddie’s eyes wander over your body until he finds himself admiring your bare knees.

With a jolt, his eyes snap back to your face, only for you to be watching him with a pleased expression adorning your features.

Eddie clears his throat and busies himself with turning over the ignition. “You look nice,” he scrunched his face. “Pretty! I meant to say you look pretty.”

"Thanks," you reply appreciatively and inspect your freshly painted nails to ensure they’ve withstood the indecisive wardrobe changes of the past half hour.

Throughout the brief drive, engaging in small talk grants Eddie a temporary respite from his brain being in overdrive. Determined to maintain composure, he makes a conscious effort to avoid looking your way.

Eddie successfully carries the conversation as you enter the lobby and get through the refreshments line. Luckily, you secure the last two seats at the end of a row; he’d have been mortified if the theater was oversold and there weren’t any seats left.

The first half of the movie goes as one would expect; you’re comfortably seated beside him, occasionally whispering commentary to each other. Meanwhile, Eddie shovels fistfuls of over-buttered and under-salted popcorn into his mouth, crunching away as the scenes progress on the screen before him.

But then there’s a subtle shift in your body language. He assumes that your inability to sit still might be caused by the need for a restroom break. That is until your knee gradually inches closer to his.

The film has become an afterthought as Eddie watches you place your hand on your thigh, noticeably close to his own that’s casually hanging off of the armrest. It’s impossible to differentiate the pounding pulse in his ears from the blasts of gunfire booming through the theater.

When your fingertips graze his, Eddie rips his hand away to reach for the bucket of popcorn that’s resting in the ditch of his opposite arm. “Want some?” he fails to whisper while offering the bucket to you.

The explosive flashes of red and yellow harshly illuminate your face and without a word, you shake your head and go back to the movie.

Eddie puts the bucket back where it was, and in the hopes of distracting himself from the guilty tingle in his feet, he fidgets with his wristwatch. Repeatedly, Eddie clasps and unclasps it, making the strap incredibly loose and uncomfortably tight around his wrist.

A few minutes go by and without warning, his heart stops because you unexpectedly rest your head on his shoulder.

As if struck by lightning, Eddie leaps to his feet. The motion launches the bucket of popcorn into the air, and the people in the row in front of you are showered with kernels. He's as stiff as a board as he’s confronted with mild uproar and a chorus of expletives. 

Red-faced and unsure of whom to apologize to first, Eddie turns to you. “Shit! I’ll go get another one,” He doesn’t wait for your response and rushes down the stairs, practically leaping over them two at a time.

After bursting through the double doors and out into the empty hallway, Eddie brings his palm to his forehead, his other hand propped on his hip while he paces. Once he’s able to collect himself, Eddie heads toward the lobby, only to find that everything is powered down. 

Eddie decides to use the little time he has to rehearse what he’ll say. There might not be anything he can do to play off his peculiar behavior; at least, nothing that he can think of at the moment.

As he shows up empty-handed, Eddie doesn’t overlook your rigid posture. Your left leg is crossed over your right, pointing away from him. If he didn’t know any better, he’d think that you’re just upset that he wasted the popcorn and didn't get more.

In your lack of questioning, Eddie feels compelled to explain himself. “Concessions were closed, so…” He gestures with upturned palms, but you don’t acknowledge that he’s spoken or come back.

Not having received a response, Eddie resorts to chewing on his thumbnail and his leg bounces in tandem. Lost in his head, he finds it increasingly difficult to focus on the remainder of the movie.

Exiting the theater and stepping out into the parking lot, Eddie’s voice lacks confidence as he walks alongside you. “What’d ya think? I give it a solid six out of ten.”

You reply with a casual shrug and wrap your arms around yourself. “It was alright.”

“How ‘bout I treat you to Dove’s? Wanna go for a bite?” Eddie suggests to salvage the remainder of the evening.

“I’ll pass. I’m not hungry,” you say curtly, taking a step ahead to open the passenger door for yourself, denying Eddie a second chance to hold it open for you. 

“Oh,” Eddie begins, but his sentence is severed by the slam of the door. “Okay,” he finishes with a sigh.

During the drive back to your neighborhood, the air feels dense. The radio commercials do little to fill the space between you.

Upon the front tire nudging the curb, you get out of the van before Eddie has put it in park. He hurriedly follows suit, rushing over to catch up with you as you head toward your front steps.

“I had a good time tonight. Did you?” Eddie blurts out.

Pausing in your steps, you turn around and face him. “Yeah, I guess.”

Knowing that he’s the cause of your deflated spirit punches a pang to his chest. Eddie offers a gentle expression. “Would you wanna go again sometime? Probably best if you hold the popcorn though,” he chuckles uncomfortably.

“Night, Eddie,” You say with finality before letting yourself into your apartment.

Once you’ve gone inside, dejection overtakes Eddie’s features. “Goodnight,” he mutters to himself, biting the inside of his cheek.

Sifting through the mental archive of wisdom passed down by Wayne, Eddie desperately rummages for any guidance that could apply to his current situation.

Eddie has officially had the world’s worst date, and it very well could be the only one he’ll ever get to go on. It only hurts more that the outcome was entirely his fault.

You’re avoiding him, that much is obvious. You stopped showing up to do laundry together and while he performs, you intentionally keep your back turned to the stage.

After your Saturday shifts end, you no longer stick around to hang out with Eddie, instead choosing to leave with your fellow waitresses.

One would think that it was a tough decision, but it makes perfect sense to him. Eddie gives up playing on Saturdays to avoid crossing paths with you. He reverts to his old spot on Thursday nights.

It’s a way to protect himself while making things easier for you. He can’t fathom how repulsed you are by his presence at this point.

Eddie sits at the folding table in his living room, his feet hooked with one another. The blaring thrash metal fills the room as he meticulously drafts tattoo concepts, completely absorbed in his sketchbook.

The incessant ringing of the telephone hardly cuts through the music. Eddie ignores it for the first two rings and lets out a reluctant huff before pausing the tape and picking up the receiver.

“Hello?”

“Heyyy, can you come get me?” Your cheerful request weaves through the lively chatter and honking car horns in the background.

Not having seen you in two weeks, your voice hits him like a wall. “What for?”

“M’ready to go home.”

Eddie reads his watch and leans against the wall. “I don’t see what that has to do with me.”

“You know what, forget it. I’ll just walk home.”

“Absolutely fucking not. What bar are you at?”

“Errr, The Dugout I think.”

“Stay put, alright? Wait for me inside, I’ll be there in a few,” After hanging up, he recklessly shoves his feet into his Reeboks and snatches his car keys from the counter.

Eddie arrives, expecting you to be inside. But there you are, sitting on the curb, right where you shouldn’t be. He calls out to you and jogs over, dodging a few bar-goers on the way.

At first, you turn your head the wrong way when you hear your name called. When you spot him, you scramble upright. “You came for me!” Excitedly, you raise your hands above your head and it slightly throws off your balance. 

“Holy shit, you’re plastered,” Eddie half-scoffs, half-laughs. His eyes roam your body, and he immediately takes notice of your scraped and bloodied knees. “Jesus, what happened?”

“Huh?” you ask, your drunken buoyancy unaffected by his evident concern. Following his guided point, you simply shrug. “I dunno, can’t remember.”

“You’re not here by yourself, are you?” Eddie scans the area, looking for any signs of someone accompanying you.

“Mmm... no, well yes. My girlfriends were here but they left.”

Eddie scoffs, “You’ve got some shitty friends.”

“Good thing I have you. My very own knight in shining armor is here to rescue me!”

“That tower of yours must’ve had quite the mini bar, princess,” Eddie remarks.

“Let’s go,” Eddie instructs, heading toward his van with the assumption that you’re following.  Peeking over his shoulder, you’re practically tripping over your own feet.

The long strap of your purse slides off your shoulder, snags on your bent elbow, and the bag thuds against your calf.

“What am I gonna do with you, hmm?” He steps back, takes hold of your purse, and throws it over his shoulder. Then, he wraps his arm around your waist and holds you snugly to his side, determined to get you home safely by whatever means necessary. After helping you into the passenger seat, he reaches over to fasten your seatbelt. “No hurling in here, got it?”

“Yes, sir,” you salute before sitting back so that your head is supported by the headrest.

Getting you up the stairs was the hard part. He unlocks the apartment door and gently steers you toward the bathroom.

You make a feeble attempt to resist, grasping onto the door frame before finally yielding to your waning strength.

Eddie lets go of you and begins to rummage in search of supplies.

“Okay, Eddie Bear. I’m ready for my bath,” You slur, leaning against the wall for support as you start to ease yourself into the tub.

“Eddie Bear, huh? That’s new,” he snorts before glancing over. “Oh, no you don’t. C’mere,” Eddie grasps you by the waist once more, guiding you to sit on the closed toilet seat.

With both hands, he cradles your booze-warmed cheeks, unintentionally pushing your lips into a pout. “Stay put, would ya?”

Mumbling to himself, Eddie goes back to gathering the first aid supplies. “I look away for two goddamn seconds. Nothing but trouble, I swear.”

The pout doesn’t leave your face and you cross your arms with an annoyed huff. As the seconds pass, it's as though there’s elevator music playing in your head while you wait for something to happen.

Eddie crouches at your feet. “So, what’s your justification for getting shit-faced on a weeknight?” The tip of his tongue peeks out from between his lips as he begins wiping away the dried blood on your knees with a damp cloth.

“Boys are dumb, that’s why.”

“I know, aren’t they just the worst?” Eddie concurs with a hum. He stands to rinse the cloth, washes his hands, and then fully gets to his knees on the tile floor to apply ointment.

“Yeah, they are,” Your voice trails off as you look at his fingers resting firmly on your thigh, just above your knee, to prevent any inadvertent movement.

Engrossed in your own little world, you start humming an improvised tune. “Like them so much,” you sing-song to yourself.

Eddie glances up at you briefly. “What’s that?”

“Your hands,” you explain and poke each of his knuckles with your index finger. “You’ve got such nice fingies.”

“Fingies?” Eddie smiles as he secures bandages over both of your knees. He withdraws his touch from your thigh and he takes hold of your hand, turning it palm-side up.

“Mhm, the nicest.”

“Yours are nice too,” he comments as he cleans the scrape on the heel of your hand. As Eddie admires the intricate lines and wrinkles across your palm, he inadvertently brushes the cloth directly against your wound.

You make a high-pitched fuss in reaction to the sudden contact, reflexively pulling your hand away.

“Shit, sorry,” Eddie apologizes earnestly. He applies the ointment before applying a bandage. Rising to his feet, he theatrically brushes off his hands. “There, good as new.”

You reach out to him in a toddler-like manner and make grabby hands at him.

Eddie laughs and leans against the door frame. “I’m not carrying you. Brush your teeth so we can get you into bed.”

“You’re no fun,” you groan while you stand awkwardly, the bandages restricting full movement. You wet your toothbrush and squeeze toothpaste onto it, making sure to shoot a scowl at Eddie as you do.

After lackadaisically brushing your teeth, you plop the brush back into its cup. “There, squeaky clean. Happy?”

“As a clam,” Eddie says with a grin. He steps back to allow you out of the bathroom. “Go put your PJs on.”

With a dismissive wave, you drag your feet to your room and begin to dig through your dresser drawer.

Just as he’s about to start picking up after himself, he’s interrupted.

“Eddie,” You call out defeatedly. 

“Yeah?” When he doesn’t receive an immediate response, he cautiously steps into the doorway of your room. There you stand, still wearing your dress.

“I can’t reach it,” You say, turning your back to him and bowing your head slightly, signaling that you need his assistance.

Eddie swallows hard and mutters under his breath, “Right, the zipper,” Stepping into the room, his hands start to tremble.

Now positioned behind you, he carefully takes hold of the small piece of metal. Despite the trembling, Eddie tries his best not to make contact with your skin as it’s revealed by the descending zipper.

Dizziness consumes him as his eyes flit between your shoulder blades. Once your dress is completely unzipped, Eddie takes a significant step backward, putting distance between the two of you. “Is that all you need?”

You return to sifting through your pajama options. “I think so.” 

Eddie retreats to the bathroom. The image of your bare back is seared into his memory, he’s just gonna have to live with it etched into his mind forever.

After regaining his composure, he locates some aspirin and fills a drinking glass with water. “Are you decent?” Eddie asks hesitantly, not daring to step closer to the threshold without receiving confirmation.

“Uh huh,” You mumble, flopping onto your bed and committing to the first position you land in.

Holding the cup of water and two tablets of pain relief, Eddie re-enters your bedroom. He finds you sprawled and droopy-eyed lying on your back.

Eddie’s chunky metal rings clink against the glass when he sets it down on your nightstand. “I think you’ll appreciate this little visit from the aspirin fairy come morning. You’re gonna feel like shit.”

“Okay,” you murmur, your attention glued to how his strong nose casts a shadow on his cheek in the glow of your bedside lamp. Flipping onto your side facing the door, you yawn and stretch your toes.

Eddie gathers the jumbled blanket from the other side of the bed and drapes it over you, covering you up to your shoulders with care.

Although he wants to, he refrains from tucking you in, concerned that you might trip or get more hurt if you need to get up. “Well, goodnight.”

Just as Eddie turns to leave, your weak grasp seizes his hand before he’s out of reach. It stops him in his tracks, and his gaze follows the path from your joined hands, tracing up your arm until his eyes meet yours.

Fighting to keep your eyes open, you’re teetering on the edge of consciousness. “I don’t want you to go.”

He returns without needing any further invitation and sits on the edge of the bed by your belly. Releasing his hand, you rub your eye before tucking your fist beside your head.

Looking down at you affectionately, a grin graces Eddie’s face. He watches as your eyelids flutter closed, and your breathing becomes slow and steady. “Such a sleepy girl.”

With your eyes cemented closed, you adjust your head on the pillow before drifting off to sleep. Eddie stays put for a minute or two, simply admiring you. He’s never seen something so precious.

His heartbeat rattles his ribs, just as it did the first time he saw you waitressing at Double Barrel. That static-like tingling plagues his extremities as an old thought resurfaces. In those conversations where you shared your life stories, Eddie couldn’t help but wonder how it would feel to be kissed by you.

Eddie’s eyes brim with tears at the fact that his presence is solely due to your inebriation, and this closeness it’s about to expire. “God,” he exhales, rolling his eyes skyward to hold back his tears.

“Sleep tight, sweetheart,” Eddie whispers, pulling the blanket a touch higher over your shoulder. Then, he switches off the lamp and leaves you to rest.

Dwelling on the fact that you won’t remember tonight won’t do him any good. Getting this close to you would have never happened in sober circumstances. At least he got to take care of you in the way he always wanted, even if only for a short time.

Over the past few days, Eddie has been thinking about how he felt when you relied on him to get you home. He’s curious whether the call you made to him signifies that you still want him in your life. If that happens to be the case, then he can work with that.

Going through with this might worsen the sting of rejection, but Eddie has his heart set on mending things.

Within moments of entering the bar and scouring the room for you, he spots you conversing with Lee about a table’s order. Eddie begins to pat his thighs in an erratic rhythm as he feels his insides lurch.

As soon as Lee notices Eddie, he wraps up the conversation and gets back to work. You observe Eddie, noticing the hopefulness on his face as he strides across the room. “Do you need something?”

“Not necessarily. I was wondering if I could uh, make you dinner or something?” Eddie kicks one foot with the other and totters back and forth in place. 

Your expression changes to one of disbelieving annoyance. “I can slap together a PB&J at home, but thanks.”

“No, no. I’m serious, I’ll make whatever you want,” Eddie insists.

“What for?”

Eddie briefly looks away, scratching at the nape of his neck. “I miss hanging out with you.”

“I don’t know,” You ponder with uncertainty, your gaze monitoring the occupied tables in case you’re needed.

“Let me cook for you. I promise I’ll make it worth your while.”

His pleading eyes wear you down. “Fine, when?”

A bright smile spreads across Eddie’s face, stretching from ear to ear. He bounces on his tiptoes with enthusiasm. “I’ll call you tomorrow and we can set a time then.”

“Sure, yeah,” you respond, your attention diverted to a booth on the far side of the room where the seated customers wave you over. “Look, I gotta go.”

You’re already back in work mode and walking away before Eddie can say anything else. He just stands there, incapable of shrinking his smile to a mere grin.

Bowing his head, Eddie pumps his fists at his sides in a moment of triumph. With the opportunity for redemption sitting in his lap, he has his heart set on making things right.

In the days leading up to the agreed-upon dinner, Eddie makes several trips to the library, hunting for a recipe for the meal you mentioned. He dips into his emergency savings to purchase extra ingredients, dedicating his time and money to practice making it.

The first go around, he forgot to add two crucial ingredients, resulting in a bland and tasteless dish. Eddie couldn’t let it go to waste, so he settled for the less-than-impressive dinner that night.

On the second attempt, he tried to compensate for the previous mistake by adding more than enough seasoning. He didn’t exactly do it on purpose; it poured out of the canister much faster than Eddie expected. Regrettably, that meal went straight into the trash. Eddie couldn’t stomach a forkful of it.

Eddie absolutely, positively cannot fuck this one up. He can’t afford to, both figuratively and literally. Without a doubt, if he serves you a shit dinner, you’ll push him out of your life for good.

When you knock on the front door, the perceived silence on the other side of the door is broken with a clatter and muffled cursing. The quiet resumes and hangs in the air for a couple of seconds before the door swings open.

There stands Eddie, hair a little tousled. “Hello, hello!”

His stomach does somersaults at the sight before him; your clothes accentuate your figure, and your skirt suits you. Once again, you look stunning and appropriately dressed for a date.

Meanwhile, Eddie doesn’t have many options to choose from. The most formal thing he owns is a button-up shirt and it’s too dressy, but it’s all he has. Paired with it are his holeless black jeans. Before today, he never thought it was possible to be both over and underdressed at the same time.

“Come on in,” Eddie says, stepping aside with reluctance, allowing you to enter his apartment.

As soon as he opened the door to you, his mind turned into a whirlwind of second-guessing himself. The shirt is definitely too formal, but Eddie wants to prove that he knows it’s a date this time, and he means for it to be one. If only he owned an iron so that the material wasn’t as wrinkly as it is.

He wants to prove that he can clean up nicely, evident from the scent of aftershave and cologne. Eddie meticulously clipped his fingernails and tidied his eyebrows, ensuring that he is as presentable as possible.

“This is my castle,” He gestures to the space.

The entirety of the afternoon was spent tidying up and Eddie couldn’t bear to leave a single surface undusted. Any potentially embarrassing materials were tucked away and he washed all of his dirty dishes.

As you enter and survey his studio apartment, he takes the opportunity to rake through his bangs with his fingers. You spot his sketchbook sprawled open on the guitar amp and pick it up.

“Oh, those are nothing, you don’t have to-” Eddie moves forward and reaches out, intending to retrieve the drawing pad, but pauses when you point to the sketch he recently finished.

“This one,” you trace the lines of the drawing with your finger before looking over at him. “I’d get this one.”

“You’d let me give you ink?” There’s a hint of insecurity and surprise in his voice as he subtly retrieves the sketchbook from your grasp.

“Maybe. It depends if you’re still shit at it,” you shrug casually, interlocking your hands behind your back as you assess the living room area. Your attention falls on the antique bookshelf, adorned with miscellaneous items and framed photos. “Has Cliff let you take clients yet?”

“No, you’d be my first real canvas,” Eddie admits.

As you continue looking around, his gaze is one beat ahead of yours. His eyes land on it just before yours do, and his stomach drops upon spotting the one thing he forgot to hide.

“Oh my god!” You squeal, rushing over to the couch and scooping up Mr. Pickles. “Who’s this cutie?”

Pale as a ghost, Eddie stares blankly back at you. How the fuck did he forget to hide the one thing on this planet that rids him of all masculinity.

“I’ll introduce you another time,” Eddie silently urges you to put Mr. Pickles back in his spot, desperately hoping you’ll never bring it up again.

In actuality, he should be thanking himself for the oversight, because you look far more high-spirited than when you stood outside his door.

“I’m looking forward to it,” You brush over the matted fur on the bunny’s head before carefully placing him back on the sofa.

The tension dissipates on his body as he picks up on the change in your energy. It’s reminiscent of how happy you were to see him when you were drunk. But this time is different; it’s genuine, rather than influenced by alcohol.

You’re lured into the kitchen by the incredible aroma, and the steaming food matches the enticing smell. “There’s no way in hell you made that.”

“You bet your ass I did,” Eddie retorts with his hands on his hips while he makes his way from the front door to the kitchen.

You step closer to him. “No one’s ever done anything like this for me before,” you purr, inching closer until your toes nearly make contact with his socked ones. With featherlight pressure, you place a tender kiss on his cheek. “Thank you.”

Eddie’s internal circuits fry as he tries to process the fact that he just got kissed on the cheek for the first time. His lungs refuse their vital function, denying him oxygen. He retreats by half a step, attempting to mask the blazing rosiness of his face.

“For god’s sake, I’m so sick of whatever this stupid game is.”

“What game? I’m not-” Eddie panics.

“You get me to throw myself at you by doing thoughtful shit like this, but when I finally make a move, you act revolted.”

“I swear to Christ I’m not playing with you. I mean, I’m not trying to,” Eddie explains, his words jumbling together. “I know I've been making a total ass of myself, and tonight was supposed to fix that. But I just- I keep screwing up because I like you and you make me so nervous.”

You scoff, halfway turned toward the door. “That’s hard to believe. You flinch if I so much as bump into you. You don’t want to touch me, I get it.”

A pang of guilt hits him like a baseball bat to the stomach. “No no no, I do! I wanna touch you,” Eddie admits. “Look, you mean so goddamn much to me. You deserve someone who can make you feel good, and I can’t do that.”

Still guarded, you sound agitated but you turn to face him nonetheless. “What are you talking about?”

His voice lowers, a whisper of shame. “I don’t know the first thing about pleasing a woman. Nobody wants to fuck the dorky virgin, y’know?” Eddie’s vision blurs from the tears veiling his vision.

You frown at the vulnerable quiver in his voice. “I do, I’ve been wanting to.”

“Don’t bullshit me,” he lets out a humorless laugh. “I wouldn’t be able to make you cum.”

“I have to disagree with you on that. You’re a fast learner,” You extend your hand to him at waist height.

Eddie stares at your outstretched hand, struggling to process the gesture. He holds his breath, torn between his anxiety and trust. Cautiously, he places his hand in yours.

The benevolent hold pulses a flash flood through his being, the frigid water jolting his systems alive. When you intertwine your fingers with his, the clamminess is evident against the softness of your palm. Insecurity floods him, worried that you’ll be repulsed by it.

Cracks of lightning electrify Eddie’s heart, rendering him unable to meet your gaze. Instead, he focuses intensely on your joined hands. “I have no idea what I'm doing though.”

“That’s okay,” you assure him with a confident smile. Giving his hand a slight squeeze, you add, “See, not so scary anymore, right?”

Eddie shakes his head, even though fear is still coursing through his veins. You pick up on his hesitation and knowing that he won’t do it himself, you guide his hand to your hip and leave it there.

He sort of caresses, not out of boldness, but seeking to alleviate the numbness in his fingers. The sensation has already spread to other parts of his body.

Your patient expression, graced with a grin, grows into a bright smile when you meet his eyes. Eddie’s confidence blossoms, and he uses his other hand to cradle your cheek.

Acquainting himself with the contours of your face, his thumb strokes lightly from beneath your eyes and along your cheekbone. He starts to smile too as his nerves give way to the feeling of reassurance.

As you tilt your head into his touch, your eyelids flutter closed, and you grasp at the loose sides of his shirt, pulling him closer. He steps forward willingly, but his voice retains an uncertain tone. “I really wanna kiss you, but I’ve never, uh…”

You lean in, and the tip of your nose gently brushes against his. The thundering of his heart in his ears drowns out everything but your voice.

“Close your eyes and follow my lead, okay?” The warmth of your breath encircles his lips, turning his knees to jelly. 

Eddie can’t even whisper a confirmation. At your request, he closes his eyes, leaving him solely reliant on his other senses. The smoothness of your lips against his registers as a gentle peck with just enough pressure for him to feel it. It lingers, and he finds himself incapable of moving his lips in response.

“Want another?”

With his eyes still closed, he murmurs, “Yes, please.”

Devilishly, you press a kiss to his wrist, the hand that is still gently cradling your face.

Eddie’s eyes open, a pout and a scowl simultaneously forming his reaction. “Nu-uh, right here,” he insists, leaning in eagerly. He’s caught up in the desire to feel it again but he’s still hesitant to initiate the kiss himself.

You happily close the gap and this time, Eddie slightly purses his lips against yours, doing his best to follow your lead. After giving it a few tries, he feels you withdraw but his head instinctively follows, chasing your lips.

His eyes swirl with affection as he grapples for something to say, feeling breathless and dumb. “Fuck, I don’t wanna stop doing that.”

“Then don’t.”

Finally, Eddie’s able to pursue, but only a fraction of a second before you. With determination, his pecks carry more verve. It’s easier than he thought it would be; granted, he can rely on his ability to keep a steady rhythm, a perk of being a musician.

Eddie didn’t think this could get any better—that is until your lips slot perfectly between his, wet and warm. He pauses, malfunctioning once more. As you kiss him deeply, his mind is dusted in a golden haze and it feels as though he’s floating within himself. Enveloped by the sensation of your hands on his collarbones, a soft noise escapes him.

Mortified, Eddie freezes. Instead of deterring you, it only spurs you on. You wrap your arms around his neck and mold your body against his. The intensity of the kiss only escalates, he’s chasing your storm, matching your every move.

Your fingers entwine in the curls at the nape of his neck, coaxing more noises from him. Eddie is so far gone that he’s unaware of the growing bulge in his jeans. His hand leaves your cheek, traces down your shoulder, and along the outside of your arm before clinging to your waist with both hands.

You hover over his lips, a stream of electricity fizzling between you. “Is it okay if I take my shirt off?”

Eddie forgets to respond but then nods fervently. With curious eyes, he watches intently as you lift your shirt, unveiling skin he’s never seen before.

He inhales and exhales shakily as your necklace falls back into its place against your chest. It’s not a swinging pocket watch, but Eddie is entranced nonetheless.

“You said you wanna touch me,” you draw his trembling hands up your sides. “Now’s your chance.”

Eddie’s hands ascend and meet the silky band of your bra, and you guide his palms forward to the plush foam padding. Your reassuring hold is encouraging, but Eddie tears his stare from your breasts to check-in. He finds you already looking at him, exuding a sweet demeanor. “Give it a try.”

Eddie’s Adam’s apple bobs in the thick column of his throat, his hands unmoving beneath yours.

“Like this,” You squeeze your hands twice before removing your guidance and allowing him to proceed at his own pace.

Adrenaline motivates him to cup them independently this time, and his cock twitches as he commits to the action.

“You’re doing great by the way,” You offer a smile.

Growing more confident, Eddie applies more pressure. His thumbs move in tandem, brushing over the area where your nipples are concealed. The innocent delight in his eyes burns dark into frustration after a few squeezes. Eddie huffs in annoyance at the fact that he’s only getting handfuls of padding.

“Easy, tiger. Want this off too?”

Heartened by the lack of ridicule, he feels safe. Regardless, Eddie fails to articulate more than a few words, his heart lodged in his throat. “If that’s okay with you.” 

“Come sit,” You suggest, taking his hand in yours to lead him to sit on the edge of the bed.

As he sits, Eddie thanks himself for having washed his sheets for tonight, despite never imagining that this would happen.

When you release his hand, both of them return to the plush of your waist, making himself at home there. The straps of your unhooked bra drape loosely on your arms, and his pupils dilate as the foam cups gradually gain distance from your body. 

“Holy shit,” Eddie says under his breath, his bottom lip shining after a swift swipe of his tongue.

Your hips receive an involuntary squeeze as his patience begins to waver. He then slides his hands back up to your ribs, using his thumb followed by the heel of his palms to graze the bottom of your breasts.

With a sigh of relief, Eddie no longer has to daydream about what they might look like. His beautiful brown eyes roam over your body like you’re a masterpiece, a sculpture carved from stone solely for him to admire endlessly. Savoring the moment, he takes his time to appreciate every second. Eddie doesn’t take your trust for granted.

After a minute or two, you scoot backward onto the mattress toward the pillows. “Let’s get more comfortable.”

He watches you recline half-naked on his bed, and his belly swirls at the sight. Eddie follows suit, crawling to you. Now positioned between your legs, Eddie hesitates as he looks down at you, your hips not making any contact.

His touch resumes at your waist, but this time he’s stroking the expanse of your tummy; it inadvertently brings comfort to both you and him. Until this moment, he’s never had the chance to see the tiny details on your face up close—the distinct aspects that compose your sheer beauty.

Eddie’s hazelnut curls hang over his ears as his gaze trails over your neck and chest. His intense adoration makes you want to hide, but the unease is melted away when he captures your lips with his own. Eddie feels like it’s already been too long since he last kissed you, the deprivation like that of extreme thirst.

Goosebumps prickle his fully dressed form, a surge of belonging filling the cracks in the surface of his heart. Timid pecking is a thing of the past, each kiss more fervid than the one before it. The wet click of your lips drowns out the inhibitions buzzing in his ears.

Eddie’s large hand paws at your breast, his thumb playing with your pebbled nipple, drawing a whine from the back of your throat. You tug him closer by his jeans, bringing his hips down against yours. Regardless of the denim barrier, this causes a change in him. When you lift your hips against Eddie, he grinds back just as needily.

As your lips part, he begins a trail of affection along your cheek, jaw, and down your neck. When Eddie reaches your collarbones, his mouth moves hurriedly. He’s itching to fulfill the longing that’s been something he’s imagined plenty of times before. Kissing every inch in his descent, Eddie hunches over and takes your nipple into his mouth.

The melodious sound that pours from you makes him painfully harder. His cock strains against the metal zipper of his jeans, fighting to defy the taut material. You arch into his mouth, and Eddie continues to grind against the apex of your thighs.

He licks his way across to give much-needed attention to your opposite breast, all the while maintaining stimulation on the other with his thumb. Eddie suckles and flicks his tongue, his breath hitting your bare skin like a sweltering midsummer heat wave.

The reciprocity of sincerity is blowing his mind; the way it feels to have your hands weaving through his hair. There’s a slight tug when your fingers catch on a knot, and the sting only fans the flames burning in his lower belly.

Eddie releases your nipple, leaving it bereft of the heat of his mouth. Following his previously explored path up your chest and neck, he bashfully looks into your eyes. “Could I, uh, kiss you down there, too?”

“Normally I’d have to ask for head. Are you sure?”

The melted milk chocolate of his irises practically drips off of his lashes as he blinks at you. “I’ve never been more certain of anything in my life, sweetheart. I’ve wanted to taste you for so long.”

“I’m not entirely convinced,” You coax him playfully.

“I’ll just have to prove how starving I am then, won’t I?” Eddie quips, moving out of the way to remove your skirt. As he does, the waistband slips from your hips and he slides it off your legs.

You’re in nothing but your panties and the white cotton is not particularly sexy, but they sure are familiar. That day at the laundromat, Eddie never imagined he’d see you in this exact pair at some point. He wonders if you did.

His fingertips tap their way up your thighs until they reach the band of your underwear. You look so cute with your hands resting across your belly like an awaiting princess—his princess.

Much like the skirt before it, the garment is tugged down the curvature of your legs. Your knees knock together as your legs reflexively close. Meanwhile, Eddie is mesmerized by the damp patch on panties hanging from his fist.

“You wanna keep 'em?”

Eddie nods with feigned innocence. These would go to good use, he thinks. 

“They’re all yours,” You grant his wish.

“I feel so spoiled,” he says while tucking them into his back pocket for safekeeping. Then, Eddie redirects his attention to the living art laid out before him. “Especially for getting to see you like this,” he drags his fingertips along the outside of your calves until they reach your knees.

Your legs fall open, proudly putting your glistening cunt on display for him. 

“Fuck,” Eddie says, moon-eyed. He repositions himself between your legs, lying on his stomach. Drool pools on his tongue, his mouth just inches away from your body. With one arm wrapped under your thigh, Eddie uses a finger on his free hand to collect the wetness that’s all for him.

“Don’t be a tease,” You fuss.

“You don’t have to tell me twice,” Eddie responds, ready to put his new skill to use. It starts with a testing press of his lips against your clit. He works his way lower, mouthing at you messily, making out with your cunt. Eddie licks his lips and rests his cheek against your inner thigh. “Can I use my fingers too?”

“Yeah, just take it slow,” You gather his hair and keep it out of his face so it doesn’t get in the way.

Eddie glides two digits through your folds, admiring the way the pads of his fingers glisten with the mix of your slick and his spit. Slowly, he eases his two fingers into your entrance. They sink deeper without facing resistance, and you soak him down to his bottom knuckles. Eddie looks up at you from between your legs, amazed. “You’re so wet.”

You sigh, propping yourself up on your elbows to meet his gaze. “You own a mirror, don’t you? How could I not be.”

Flattered, Eddie smiles. He draws his fingers back before plunging them into you a little faster this time, though not by much. As you lay back and get comfortable, you instinctively roll your hips downward with each thrust of his fingers.

With his cheek still resting on the inside of your thigh, he’s unable to bring himself to speed up, downright mesmerized by the sensation of your velvety walls squeezing around his fingers. When he accidentally flexes and curls them upward, it elicits a pretty gasp from you.

Eddie’s gaze flits up, a smirk tugging at the corner of his mouth. “What was that?” he teases and does it again, deliberately. “Did you say something?”

You moan, “That feels amazing,” You run your hand up your belly to your breast, massaging yourself in tandem with his improved technique.

He finds a steady tempo, rubbing the spot that makes your nerves flare. With nothing else on his mind, Eddie is fully engrossed as he drives his digits into you. Your fingers suddenly appear before him to rub your clit for added stimulation.

“Oh my god,” You moan unabashedly, arching your back off of the bed in response to the heightened ecstasy.

“You like that?” Eddie looks up at you, feeling a rush of pride as you writhe.

“Yes- fuck, I’m almost there.”

Eddie boldly nudges your hand away with his nose, swiftly replacing your fingers with his tongue, flicking it passionately.

Your moans fill his ears as he laps at you, enjoying the way you taste when you unravel. He’s so in the zone that he fails to realize you’ve already reached your peak and become overstimulated.

You squirm in his grip, gently pushing his forehead away. “Eddie, Eddie!”

“Yeah?” His fingers stop abruptly, and he looks at you with doe-like eyes, your glossy sugar smeared all over his lips and chin.

“It’s too much,” You say exhaustedly.

“Shit, my bad,” Eddie frowns, disappointed that his fun has come to an end. He slowly withdraws his digits, admiring the way you’ve coated them. He drags his fingers down his tongue like your arousal is cake batter from a bowl. A low hum emanates from Eddie as he sucks them clean, inadvertently making a show of it. “God, your pussy tastes good. Even better than I dreamed it would.”

“Come here,” You beckon him, smiling blissfully.

Eddie wastes no time getting onto his hands and knees and crawls up between your legs. Hovering over you, he gazes into your eyes, cheeks dimpled. “I made you cum.”

“I can’t remember the last time I came that hard either,” you chuckle, noticing the sheen on his face. You grab your discarded shirt to wipe it off. “Here, let me-”

“No!” Eddie angles out of your reach, his brow furrowed. Using his still-sticky fingers, he wipes at his lips and chin, licking his digits clean once more. “Can’t let it go to waste.”

After you tuck his frizzy curls behind his ears, Eddie’s tender grin fades. Your hands slowly move down his pecs to his belt, and you tug at the metal buckle. Just as you free the leather from the prong, he stops you.

“Uh- wait.” The hesitance in his voice brings your pursuit to a halt. The way you shrink back causes his heart to squeeze.

“I’m sorry. We don’t have to go all the way if you’re not ready.”

“It’s not that. Believe me,” Eddie reassures you. He brings a hand to the side of your face and strokes your cheekbone with his thumb. “I’m just worried that you’ll never wanna see me again ‘cause I'm so terrible in bed.”

Your shoulders raise and lower with the deep breath that you take. “You said you want to make me feel good, right?”

“More than anything,” Eddie declares in a heartbeat.

“Your cock would.”

Eddie nearly shudders and his voice burns raspy. “Yeah? You want it?”

You hook your fingers through his belt loops and tug, staring back at him intensely. “Not want. I need you inside me.”

“Christ,” he gulps and presses his hips forcefully against yours, dampening the denim. Eddie lowers his mouth to your shoulder and kisses it. “I wanna know what it feels like so bad.”

You turn your head and nibble his earlobe. “Let’s take care of that, shall we?” When your hands return to his partially undone belt, Eddie doesn’t intervene this time.

“I don’t have protection though.”

Blindly, you unbutton and unzip his jeans. “Side pocket of my purse.”

Reluctantly, Eddie pulls away and awkwardly scoots backward off the bed. His pants hang low on his slender hips, exposing the snug elastic band of his blue plaid boxers. After finding the condom, he inspects it. “I have no fucking clue how to use this.”

Sitting up, you hold your hand out. “I can put it on you if you want.”

Eddie hands it to you, then it occurs to him that he’s still fully dressed. While you’re tearing the foil package, he yanks down his jeans and kicks them away, his belt jangling. Only a few buttons are undone from the neck before he gets impatient. Eddie tears his shirt over his head, leaving his mane disheveled.

He pulls at the waistband of his precum-soaked boxers indecisively, but the sight of your beautiful naked body reminds him that it’s only fair. Eddie pulls them down and his anxiety has caused him to go partially soft. When you look at him, he wishes the world would swallow him whole. 

Your eyes rake across his slim frame, then meet his eyes instead of drifting below his waist. Eddie climbs back onto the bed, sitting on his haunches. You crawl onto your knees to join him and pull his body against yours, kissing him.

Mumbling against your lips, he tries to apologize for already failing you by being unable to stay hard, but his words falter as the kiss deepens, his worries becoming an afterthought. Eddie grips your waist, and the sensation of your breasts pressing against his bare chest makes him feel woozy. As soon as you break the kiss, he’s immediately filled with fear once more. “If it’s small or it looks weird, don’t tell me.”

You effectively distract him from his insecurities by trailing your lips down his pulse, dragging your teeth along the supple skin there. Eddie grips your ass harshly, a shaky sound pouring from his throat as you kiss your way down his body. He watches, his bottom lip pulled between his teeth.

As you finally look at his shy cock, you run your palms up and down the sparse hair on his outer thighs. “You’re the perfect size for me,” You compliment him with a smile. 

“I am?”

You suck a bruise on the pale skin of his waist. “Yeah, you are.” 

Eddie’s eyes close, his hands resting on your shoulders as he focuses on the sensation of you licking and biting him. Lost in the feeling rather than inside of his head, Eddie’s cock gradually rouses.

Having previously set it aside, you grab the condom. “Hold it still for me, please.”

“O-Okay,” he secures it at the base, his palm covering the trimmed thatch of curls. “Like this?”

“Perfect,” With one hand, you fit the band around the tip, and with your other, you roll the latex down his shaft. That alone causes Eddie’s mouth to fall open, a ghosted moan tumbling from his lips.

“There, easy peasy,” Sitting back up and wrapping your arms around his neck, you pull him flush against you. His wrapped, twitching cock is trapped between your bodies. “Tell me what you’re thinking right now.”

“I’m not sure I could if I tried,” Eddie says, his eyes flitting between yours. “Is this really happening?”

“It’s happening,” After kissing the tip of his nose, you settle back bringing him down with you to get comfortable, your head resting on the pillow.

Eddie returns to the previous position, this time with your legs hiked around his hips, causing his cock to rub against your mound. Afraid of poking around too much, he asks, “Would you do the honors, m’lady?”

“Why, of course,” you say with a giggle. You guide the head of his cock right where it needs to be and look into Eddie’s eyes. “Go ahead.”

He swallows hard and inches his hips forward, the tip of his cock breaching your entrance. Eddie sinks until he’s halfway sheathed by the hot embrace of your cunt. As he pushes the rest of the way in, his jaw falls slack.

“You doing okay?” You soothingly stroke the bulging veins on his forearms.

“Mhm,” Eddie mumbles with his lips rolled inward. After a few seconds without moving, he draws his hips back and then drives them forward. The moan that rips from his chest is unholy.

After two or three agonizingly slow and experimental thrusts, the motion comes naturally to him after all that practice he’s gotten from humping his poor pillow in this very spot. “Fuck me,” The hand that isn’t supporting Eddie’s weight fists at the bed sheets as he thrusts repeatedly, falling into a slow and steady pace. “Jesus fucking fuck.”

“Look at you go,” you moan out. “It feels amazing, doesn’t it?”

“Feels… god, you feel incredible,” Eddie grunts, propping himself up on both hands. His hair hangs down, swaying with the tempo of his hips. In this position, he can watch the bounce of your body with each thrust and he’s doing just that.

The grazing of your fingernails along his flexing hips throws off his pace. It weakens him, especially when you’re looking at him the way you are. Eddie is so consumed by the feeling of you wrapped around him that he can’t be self-conscious about the fact that he’s moaning every time he sinks back into you.

The shame of virginity has been lifted away as Eddie experiences this night of firsts with the girl he’s crazy about. Eddie is struggling to keep his eyes open, not wanting to miss a single second of this. He’s captivated by the way you’re watching his length disappear inside you over and over.

You look stunning lying on his pillow, anchoring his body to yours. Before tonight, he considered the concept of moaning someone's name to be cliché because it only happens in the movies. But Eddie’s had a change of heart because he can’t stop saying yours. It’s all of you right here, right now, all over, making a man out of him.

His muscles begin to tremble, and he lowers himself onto his forearms. Eddie rests his forehead against yours, his hips stuttering. “I’m so close, baby. I don’t wanna cum,” He slows his movement to stave off his orgasm.

“I want you to,” You express while gliding your hands down his muscular back.

“No,” Eddie protests, ceasing his thrusts entirely. “I want you to cum again first.”

“This isn’t about me.”

 “Are you shitting me? It’s always been about you,” he pulls back to look into your eyes. “I’d do anything for you, you’re so damn worth it.”

Just before you have the chance to respond, Eddie unexpectedly rolls his hips. With one hand, he thumbs at your clit, watching how your eyes roll back. He doesn’t even have to look down to see the mess you’re making because he can hear it.

Eddie’s moans dance with yours as he pushes his knees forward, adjusting the angle of his hips to mimic a ‘come hither’ motion. He knows he’s found the spot he discovered prior when your legs spasm around him. In response, Eddie rubs your clit harder.

The way your walls tighten makes it all that more difficult for him to hold back. He’s on the cusp, his abs tensing as he tries to fight it. Your hand flies above you to push against the headboard, your other one occupied with gripping his flexing waist.

“Cum for me,” Eddie growls, frustrated with himself as he teeters on the edge, just seconds away from spilling into the condom.

Your brows furrow and your eyes squeeze shut, a rush of air getting caught in your throat as you climax.

“Yeahhh, that’s it,” Eddie’s abdominal muscles tense to their limit. “Oh- fuck,” His voice pitches higher.

“I’m yours,” You moan prettily and guide him down, letting him bury his face in your neck to give his arms a well-deserved rest.

“All mine,” Eddie says between his labored breaths. He grips and lifts your hips while you kiss his shoulder. Losing their previous steadiness, his strokes become shorter and more sporadic. “Fuck, you’re gonna make me cum. I’m gonna cuh- uh- mmm.”

Eddie lets out a whimper as he delivers two unsteady thrusts before slamming his hips against you, burying himself as he orgasms. His ass tenses and ripples, the muscles contracting as he rides out his high.

Panting loudly, Eddie stills his movements completely and props himself up to look down at you. “Jesus Christ. After that, I wanna have you for dinner every day,” he says against your cheek before kissing it. “As a snack in the middle of the night,” Eddie adds, kissing your temple. “Shit, you’d be good for breakfast too. It’s the most important meal of the day, y’know.”

You let out a winded giggle, your bodies sticking together as he struggles to keep himself propped up.

“Sweetheart, can I ask you something?”

“You just did,” You tease and smile wide when he rolls his eyes and snorts.

Eddie takes your hand, flattening your palm against his chest so that you can feel how vigorously his heart is beating. “Is this what being in love feels like?” He asks tearfully.

“Yeah,” you nod, placing his hand over your own heart that’s thudding just as hard. “Just like this.”

Reblogs are greatly encouraged and appreciated! ♡

★My Masterlist

★Tip Jar

tags: @nj01 @tlclick73 @foreveranexpatsposts @madelynraemunson

#eddie munson #eddie munson x y/n #stranger things 4 #eddie munson fics #stranger things x you #stranger things x y/n #eddie munson x you #eddie munson x fem!reader #eddie munson x female reader #eddie munson x reader #eddiemunson #stranger things #eddie munson fluff #eddie the banished #eddie munson fic #eddie munson fanfic #stranger things eddie #st4 eddie #eddie x fem!reader #eddie x you #eddie munson hurt/comfort #eddie munson angst #eddie munson imagine #st4 #virgin!eddie munson #inexperienced!eddie munson #eddie munson oneshot #eddie munson one shot

[smuttykdrama]

[Hyunsu & Chanyoung as Subs ; SWEET HOME]

Hi, this is my first smut drabble and first post so please be kind! also note that i've only watched through sweet home once! i've just finished the second season lol. ><

Warnings: smut, sub!hyunsu & chanyoung, dom!reader, female!reader, masochism, only read if you're eighteen or above.

This is written with an older reader in mind, with hyunsu being 19, the reader being 29, and chanyoung being 25. Forgive my HUGE noona kink. 🥲 Even tho I'm only 22 lol.

Hyunsu

● Sub!Hyunsu, who only wants to please you, his noona, regardless of his own pleasure.

● Sub!Hyunsu who eats you out like you're a goddamn five course meal, savouring every part of you because you're his everything. The only light in his world.

● Sub!Hyunsu, who needs your praise like it's a drug. He's sadly very insecure, constantly worried that he's not doing well enough or that his body isn't good enough for you. You'd soon change those ridiculous thoughts of his.

● Sub!Hyunsu who is a sweet and caring boyfriend in the day, but a masochistic freak at night. You definitely take advantage of his healing abilities, allowing you to make Hyunsu's body your canvas. Scratches down his back, his front. Biting his chest, teasing him, and testing his pain tolerance.

● Sub!Hyunsu, who, after being in captivity and chained up, wants nothing more than to replace those memories with YOU. Tie him to the bedpost, put a hard metal collar around his neck. Anything to forget those painful times...and make new memories with you.

● Sub!Hyunsu who literally hate fucks you. Not because he's mad at you. But at himself. You know when he's depressed, because he shoves you onto the bed and buries his cock in your tight heat without warning. "Sorry, Noona...i really need you right now...i don't want to talk...i just need you."

● Sub! Hyunsu who gives you the best aftercare, even if he's the one who's all fucked out after a session. He'll even go out of his way to explore the city just to find a scented candle to light for you.

● Sub!Hyunsu who's monster wants you too, having felt just how satisfied Hyunsu was with you.

Chanyoung

● Sub!Chanyoung, who's a complete virgin when you first meet him, and he's unable to meet your gaze when you sleep together for the first time.

● Sub!Chanyoung who is so overstimulated the moment your pussy clenches around him that he doesn't know what to do with his hands other than clutch the pillow as you ride him.

● Sub!Chanyoung who loves being bossed around in bed, and being told what to do. Want him to fuck you like you're unbreakable? Got it. Want to finger him until hes a blushing mess beneath you? Done! He lives to be your living, breathing sex toy.

● Sub!Chanyoung who keeps his uniform on while he eats you out, having just come back from a mission outside the stadium, knowing about your soldier kink. He looks just so handsome in it, but oh so much prettier with it off.

● Sub!Chanyoung whos thighs and lower abdomen are the most sensitive parts of his body. The moment you start leaving hickeys on his thighs or tracing the lines of his abs, Chanyoung goes crazy. "Not there, jagiya...i'll go crazy."

● Sub!Chanyoung who kneels at your feet after a long day, practically begging to bed you, looking up at you with his puppy like eyes.

● Sub!Chanyoung who is so drunk on your kisses, that he could come in his pants from the mere sensation of your lips on his.

● Sub!Chanyoung who can't believe that even after the world went to shit, he still has you to look after him. He may be your protector, but really, you're the one who saved him.

[END]

(A/N): Wow first smut headcanons!! I am here totally for the Hyunsu switch & Chanyoung sub agenda. Please like and leave a comment/reblog if you liked ^^ Let me know what Sweet Home Hyunsu & Chanyoung reaction you'd like next! I currently only write for those 2 characters :)

#sweet home #sweet home imagine #sweet home x reader #chanyoung x reader #cha hyunsu #hyunsu x reader #sweet home smut #smut #x reader #dom!reader #sub!character #kdrama smut #kdrama imagine #kdrama x reader

[nicoline1998enilocin]

hey love, i have a request if you’re up for it

my birthday is this friday and i was wondering if you could make a Bucky birthday fic, it could be smut, fluff, both, anything i want you to let your creativity run wild

i love your fics and i know this one will be amazing🩷

Bucky's Big Birthday Bash

PAIRING | Fiancée!Bucky Barnes x Fiancé!Avenger!Female!Reader

WORD COUNT | 2.9K

SUMMARY | You've been secretly planning Bucky's birthday, and even though he said he wanted to keep it small, you're gonna give him the best party he has ever had after missing out on 70 years of birthday parties.

WARNING(S) | This is your official trigger warning. Do not proceed if any of these topics upset you. Very light angst, swearing, smut [ grinding, oral (M receiving), throat fucking, unprotected sex (wrap it before you tap it), squirting, multiple orgasms, overstimulation ].

A/N | Thank you so much for the request, @multiversefanfics, and I wish you the happiest of all birthdays and that all your birthday wishes may come true! Enjoy my little present from me to you, and I can't wait to see more of your work, too! Yours is just as amazing after all 🖤

Likes, comments and reblogs will be very much appreciated 🩷

Divider is made by @firefly-graphics | 18+ banner is made by yours truly

Main Masterlist | Bucky Barnes Masterlist

''Hmm, good morning, doll,'' Bucky says as he turns around, reaching out to pull you close to his chest, but to his surprise, he's met with an empty space on your side of the bed.

''Doll?'' he says as he sits up, unsure why your usual space is now cold and lifeless. Usually, you're there every morning to cuddle up to him, share kisses, and start the day slowly.

Right now, something feels off to Bucky, and he can't quite place it.

He gets out of bed and walks through your shared apartment, calling your name a few times before finally spotting the note on the kitchen counter next to a cold cup of coffee. Yours, he presumed.

J,

I'm on an emergency mission with Tony + Steve. I'll call when I can.

Love,

Your doll

The handwriting is rushed, and he sighs. He hates mornings like these, even though he knows the feeling. Bucky has also been called out for many emergency missions, making it more lonely.

He pours the mug's contents into the sink and makes some black coffee in that same mug. It's your favorite, but whenever you're not there, he likes to use it as a reminder of you.

When the coffee is gone, he changes into a pair of sweatpants and a hoodie to go for a run through New York; he has to burn off some energy in a different way now that he can't have you first thing in the morning.

The mission is a success, but you decide not to let Bucky know you're back for just a few more hours, using this time to work on a surprise for Bucky's birthday with Steve in his studio.

You have asked Steve to paint a portrait of you and Bucky from the night you got engaged based on a few photos that somebody took, and he's more than happy to help you out.

''I still find it hard to believe he has been planning on proposing for such a long time,'' you tell Steve while sitting on a chair that's pulled next to him.

''Believe me, I've been there every step of the way, and he was so nervous he couldn't do it the first few times,'' Steve says as he's mixing some paint to finish the night sky in the background.

''Excuse me? Did you say-'' is all you can say because your phone is going off, and you see it's Bucky calling.

''Hold that thought,'' you say as you pick up.

''Hi, Hubby, is everything okay?'' you ask, worried; Bucky usually doesn't call unless it's an absolute emergency.

''Hey, I'm sorry for asking, but when do you think you'll be home? I haven't seen you in almost a week, and JARVIS tells me the mission is done. I miss you and your cuddles,'' Bucky sighs as he admits he's been waiting for your arrival home.

''It's okay. I have a few more errands to run, and then I'll be home. Shouldn't be more than a couple hours,'' you tell him, even though you feel bad for lying.

''Oh, okay. Be careful, and I love you, Bubby,'' he says with the defeat laced through his voice.

''I will, and I love you too, Hubby,'' you say as you hang up.

You look at the canvas again while Steve is working, and tears start welling up in your eyes, thinking about how lucky you are to have met this gorgeous man you'll call your husband soon.

When you sniff softly, Steve suddenly stops and looks at you.

''Are you okay?'' he says as he sets his supplies down and grabs your hand to pull you in for a hug.

''Sorry, yeah. It's just that it's- well, it's hard not telling him what I'm planning for him. I hate keeping secrets, especially from him,'' you sigh as guilt slowly creeps up your spine.

''You should go home and see him. I know he'll be more than happy to see you,'' Steve says, and you know he's right.

''Alright, and thank you again for doing this; you're the best,'' you say as you head out and back to your husband-to-be.

This time, it was Bucky's turn to be called in for a last-minute mission, and this gave you the perfect opportunity to get everything ready for his birthday without worrying about him finding out.

The painting Steve had done turned out to be perfect, and you thanked him by taking him out for lunch, which he hesitantly accepted.

''Steve, please! Let me repay you for all your hard work with lunch. It's the least I can do!'' you said, and he finally gave in, so the two of you got some delicious bagels for lunch.

Now you're busy as the Compound, where you're decorating one of the smaller ''party rooms'' as Tony calls them, to celebrate his birthday with the Avengers.

Bucky told you that even though he's okay with celebrating his birthday, he doesn't want a huge party or anything. Just dinner with you and a movie is all he needs, but he also knows that's probably different from what he will get.

Sure, with the help of Tony, you've got a reservation at one of the fanciest restaurants in New York on his birthday, but the rest of the evening will be lowkey with some presents, drinks, music, and dancing.

You've got a huge banner that says ''Bucky's Big Birthday Bash!'' in black and gold; it says ''Happy 106th Birthday,'' the colors matching his Vibranium arm.

All the presents from everyone are neatly arranged on a table, and yours, standing in the center of it all, is by far the biggest.

The rest of the room is decorated with little garlands, small triangular flags, and simple decorations. When you're done, you look around the room again, and when you're happy, you lock the door behind you so no one can come in unsupervised.

Later that night, Bucky gets home just in time for his birthday, and you're delighted to have him back right on time.

It's the morning of Bucky's birthday, and you're planning on surprising him first thing in the morning. You slipped out of bed a little earlier and changed into a gorgeous set of red lingerie and stockings.

You're preparing breakfast for him in the form of pancakes, and you got him his favorite fruit as a dessert, the plums already waiting in a bowl on the kitchen table.

When Bucky's alarm goes off, you're in the bedroom but not lying next to him. Instead, you've seated yourself in the big armchair in the corner, waiting for him to notice you.

''Mornin' doll,'' he says with his deep, rumbling voice, and you can't help but feel yourself grow wet at the sound.

''I'm over here, J. I've been waiting for you to wake up,'' you say, and his eyes scan the room and immediately grow wide when he spots you in your lingerie.

''Well, happy fucking birthday to me!'' he says as you get up and walk over to him.

''Happy fucking birthday indeed,'' you say as you push him down and get seated on his already hard dick, slowly grinding back and forth while you work your tongue into his mouth.

Deep groans come from his chest as you keep the same slow rhythm while precum slowly dribbles from his cock to make a damp patch in his underwear.

''Want me to clean you up?'' you ask with innocence in your eyes, but Bucky is well aware that you're intentions are anything but innocent when he sees the outfit you're wearing, but he's not mad at it.

''Please,'' he says, and you crawl down his body, leaving soft kisses in your path as you work his underwear from his body. You throw it to the side and place your hand around the base of his hard cock.

Your lips wrap softly around the tip, and you suckle, making him buck his hips and work deeper into your mouth.

''Jesus, doll,'' he moans as you take him slowly into your mouth, sucking your cheeks in as you do until your nose is connected with his pubic bone.

You keep bobbing your head up and down until Bucky's hands find their way into your hair, and he starts thrusting up into your mouth and throat until you're gagging around him.

As he does it, your nails are buried into his thighs, and you try to breathe through your nose unsuccessfully.

When you tap his thigh twice, he lets up, and you can finally breathe, a few strings of saliva running down your chin and connecting to his cock, making you look extremely fucked out, combined with the glossed-over eyes.

''You're gonna be the death of me, doll,'' Bucky says, and you just smile before taking him into your mouth again, hollowing your cheeks and sucking until he's shooting his cum deep into your throat, forcing you to take every last drop.

When you let go with a wet pop, he immediately pulls you up and moves your panties to the side so he can slide in with one thrust.

You let out a broken moan, and your head falls onto his shoulder, unable to hold itself up at the pleasure you're feeling.

His hands slide over your sides, down your hips, and onto your ass which he grabs before planting his knees on the bed and fucking you thoroughly.

''F-fuck, Bucky! Y-y-yes!'' you say between his thrusts and your moans, and you can't help but cum quickly, squirting all over his cock, legs, and the bed.

''Fuck, such a little slut for me, huh? Squirting all over me like the dirty fucking slut you are?'' Bucky says that his pace doesn't slow down even a bit, and soon you're overstimulated.

''B-Bucky, please! C-can't!'' you whine as he keeps rutting his hips into you, but he's not done yet. He knows you would use your safeword if he goes too far, so he keeps going.

''C'mon, just need one more, and then I'll cum for you,'' he says, and shortly after you do, feeling the orgasm set your insides on fire as it washes over you with incredible power.

''G-gonna cum, doll!'' he says, and he does, painting your soft, velvet walls with his cum as he keeps slowly thrusting as he works through his orgasm.

''You did perfectly for me, doll, always doing so good. You took me so well,'' he says as the two of you stay like that for a little while. He pulls out and cleans you up with a warm washcloth when he's gone completely soft.

''C'mere Bubby,'' he says as he pulls you close to him, his Vibranium arm soothing as he places it on your heated face.

''Love you so much,'' you babble out, and he smiles as he places a soft kiss on your lips, making sure he's gentle not to overwhelm you.

The two of you spend the rest of the day eating your breakfast and getting ready for Bucky's birthday dinner you've planned, and when you walk out of your walk-in closet, you show him the red lace dress you bought for this occasion.

Your hair is curled to perfection, and your make-up is light with a bold red lip that matches your dress perfectly. You put on your black heels and twirl a few times to show him the finished outfit.

''Hold on, there's only one thing missing,'' he says, taking off his dog tags and hanging them around your neck, where they fall perfectly between your breasts.

''Now it's perfect,'' he says, and you can't help but smile at him.

He changed into his birthday outfit, too, and after his hair was done, the two of you headed to the restaurant in your car. Since you two are the first to arrive, you decide to head in and get seated so Bucky can adjust to the atmosphere and stay calm later.

''Good evening, we're here for the reservation under the name Stark,'' you tell the lady behind the counter, and she nods when she finds it.

''You two are the first to arrive, but I suspect the rest of them will follow soon,'' she says as she guides you to a private room. Tony went all out for this, and you're making a mental note to thank him later.

''I can't believe you planned this for me; you know I would have been excellent if it was just the two of us, right?'' he asks, and he takes your hand, stroking it with his thumb.

''I know, but tonight is all about you, and even though it's just us and the other Avengers, I still wanted you to have a special night,'' you tell him, leaning in for a soft kiss.

The two of you are wrapped up in some small talk when the rest of the Avengers and Thor and Loki join in. Loki and Bucky may not be friends, but he promised to be there because you asked him to be.

Everyone is celebrating Bucky and you, and when it's Tony's turn, you can't help but thank him profusely for arranging this dinner in the private room.

''Thank you so much for doing this; it means a lot. And I promise to repay you for all of this,'' you say, but Tony laughs softly as he puts his hands on your upper arms.

''You don't have to repay me for anything; I'm doing this because I love you, okay? This night is all about the two of you, so this is all on me,'' he says, and you pull him in for a hug.

''Just know that I'm eternally grateful for everything you do for us,'' you say, and he smiles.

''I know. Now let's enjoy this dinner!'' Tony says as he sits down, and you do the same. It is a five-course meal; of course, Bucky and Steve have no problem eating it all.

When dinner is done, you're all on your way back to the Compound, and Bucky can tell you're getting cold. ''C'mere, you can have my jacket,'' he says as he shrugs it off and puts it on your shoulders.

''It looks better on you anyways,'' he says, and he places a kiss on your cheek, which makes you giggle softly.

Once you arrive at the Compound, everyone goes to the room you've prepared, but you stay behind with Bucky since you want it to be a surprise.

You have the perfect distraction figured out as you push Bucky into a nearby wall and start attacking him with kisses on his jaw and neck before giving a deep kiss on his lips.

Bucky's hands found their way to your hips, and he pulled you closer, reveling in all the attention you gave him. ''Bucky, we should go for one more surprise,'' you say once you finally manage to break apart.

''Do we have to...?'' he asks with a slight pout, which you kiss away.

''Yes, but after that, I'm all yours to do with whatever you want as your birthday present. You can even tie me up, and you can use whatever hole in whichever way you want,'' you whisper in his ear before nibbling softly on his earlobe.

''Fuck...'' he groans out, giggling softly before pulling him to the room where the other Avengers are.

Bucky opens the door, and everyone is there, yelling ''SURPRISE!'' as he walks in.

''Happy birthday, J,'' you say as he looks around the room, and he can't help but smile widely.

He's opening presents and getting everything from a few new knives for his collection to a cleaning kit for his Vibranium arm. Steve gave him a photo album with all their most precious memories, including a few photos from the 40s that he thought were forever lost.

Last up, however, is your present, and you walk over to get it.

''I will tell you in advance that you should thank Steve for this one, not me, because he helped me create it. I asked him to recreate one of our most special moments together as a reminder that you're stuck with me for the rest of our lives!'' you say, and everyone laughs loudly.

Bucky takes it and gives a small peck on your lips before ripping off the wrapping paper. Inside is the canvas Steve worked on from the night the two of you got engaged.

It's the two of you at the hiking trail where Bucky proposed, and the sunset is behind the two of you. Bucky is on one knee with the ring box popped open, and your hands cover your mouth as you realize what's happening.

Bucky has tears in his eyes as he looks at the canvas in front of him, looking back at the moment with nothing but fond memories.

''It is perfect; thank you so much for recreating this memory,'' Bucky says as he puts it on the floor and his arms wrap around you. He lifts you and captures your lips in a deep, loving kiss to thank you for the thoughtful gift.

''I love you so fucking much, and I'm the luckiest man in the universe,'' he says, and the two of you stay like that for a little longer.

After that, it's time for cake, drinks, and music, and the night is filled with laughter, happiness, and the feeling that everything is just how it is supposed to be.

You and Bucky have been dancing almost all night, and now you are sitting in an armchair in the corner, straddling his lap as his hands or on your ass. Neither of you cares as you are too wrapped up in your make-out session, and this night couldn't be more perfect.

#bucky barnes #bucky barnes fanfiction #bucky barnes fanfic #bucky barnes one shot #bucky barnes request #bucky barnes imagine #bucky barnes x female reader #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes x y/n #bucky barnes fluff #bucky barnes smut

[songfell-ut]

Songfell anniversary post, pt 1

Eyyy so four years ago today, I posted the first three chapters of my story on AO3, having seen an unfinished comic and gotten permission from the artist to write a fic using her premise. This here is the first piece of Songfell art ever, commission from the OG comic creator, @lostmypotatoes 👌

So! I am not posting any new content for the moment. My mom has been having health problems, including me having to help take her to the ER (she's fine, just needs to stay in bed for a while), which delays actual writings a bit. What I am doing is reposting art from four years of Tumblr! C'mon down memory lane, wheeeeee

(Part 2, Part 3)

This is going to be in VERY VERY approximate chronological order as it depicts stuff in the story. Stuff with no set place in the story will be guesstimated because I have that power ah ha ha ha ha

Disclaimer: I've pulled all of these from posts or reblogs made by this specific blog. If I didn't see or repost any Songfell art you've done, especially for the videos, I did not leave it out on purpose. I threw in exactly one image from Discord for the sake of completing a set, but that was it.

In cases of multiple...okay it's just the fork scene that has multiple iterations because everyone liked it, but besides the opening one here (which is still my AO3 pfp!), the one that was the first piece of non-commissioned art I ever got will be first. Enjoy!

This was the first non-potatoes art in the videos, I believe, done by the superlative @venelona (probably the most prolific of the arts on here), when somebody realizes he's gonna lose 😘

The collection skips ahead to Sans contemplating killing the nice lady and then totally randomly thinking of Kris instead, by @mambourin D: But whaddya know--

See? That's the sound of losing, son

That's the sight of losing, by @sharkowskii, whose work speaks for itself. Here's the whole thing, colored fantastically by Vene.

Know what else they did together, and happens once he's been knocked out?

(Look at this so good holy shit) Frisk's had a bit of a tired, scared cry in the hall, and it's time to face her new guest head-on.

I lost my mind at least a little bit when I first saw these, ngl. I can't find the next page that she did for the compiled "movie" video 😢 But now we're coming up on a fun bit of Songfell lore!

I was scrolling through Tumblr and glanced over what looked like a picture of my Frisk ha ha that was kind of VENELONA DID A THING WAIT WHAT

First ever fanart, that's what. We have a High Priestess who is completely done with his goddamn nonsense, and

Pictured: goddamned nonsense. N-Not like he LIKES you, baka

Aaand here's my Discord pfp, by @xxkoichiixx (who seems not to be on here anymore D:).

And here's a very plausible alternate outcome by @vafro1.

Though this was a bit more like it, thanks to @naomyart.

Oh look a distraction after he was stupid what are the odds (Catler1!)

Last and never least (none of you are >:( so there), puns are dumb and it turns out they're into it. The End...for now

...

Bonus outtake recording illustration from @dale-the-human

#songfell #songfell anniversary post #dale's dogs fearlessly protect her against useable audio

[fossette-promenade]

lolita fashion misconceptions 😣

it always breaks my heart to hear people say, "I want to wear lolita, but I can't because...." and their excuse is usually something that has a solution! i wanted to talk about some of the biggest misconceptions today:

♧ it is too expensive

Everyone's idea of "expensive" is different. especially these days, where inflation is taking a toll on everyone. but not every lolita dress is $300+ like a beginner may think looking at new brand prices. you are able to find dresses less than $100 on second-hand marketplaces and through community swap meets. When I first started wearing lolita, I even had a few friends give me dresses for free to get started!

♤ it is only for petite girls

This concept comes from the idea that because lolita is from Japan, it is only made for "small Japanese girls." Many dresses have full shirring for a reason, to be size inclusive! there are multiple brands that carry plus-size options, such as metamorphose and atelier peirrot. Glittertale is another great option for custom sizing. Innocent World's size L is equivalent to a European size L, for the midsized girls.

Altering a dress is also always an option. Some people do not like this idea, because they think it is important to preserve lolita history. If you do alter a dress, I advise it is done by a trusted professional. But either way, you bought it with your own money, so it doesn't matter what you do with it.

There used to be an idea that you couldn't show your knees while wearing lolita. This developed after a mistranslation and was never an official rule. Many people are afraid of their dresses being "too short" for lolita though. I am 5'10, definitely a "tallita" and most dresses come up a few inches above my knees. There is no official skirt length for lolita. A Motie skirt can hit your fingertips, or a Victorian Maiden gown can be dragging on the floor!

♡ the community is toxic and catty

lolitas are not a hive mind. I believe this culture has died down from when it was at its peak. there's a lot to question on this stereotype of the "mean lolita." Maybe they are trying to feel superior because they were once bullied themselves. Sometimes, it's easier to just be a "hater" and find community that way. The easy answer to this is no. There are lots of people in communities that can be great friends who want to share this interest with you! Remember to uphold your boundaries and never let people disrespect you. You will always find your place.

◇ people will think it is weird

Actually, many people will think it is cute, fun, and interesting! Sure, people will always have their misconceptions. I've gotten all the usual ones. "Are you in a play? Going to a wedding? Little Bow Peep? Anime cosplay?" But I have yet to experience anything rude or mean. Some people get worried about the name of lolita, but it is easy to avoid using it in conversation. Here are my favorites:

"I just like to dress cute sometimes."

"Life is more fun wearing bows!"

"It's kinda like vintage and gothic?"

"I bought this dress from Japan."

"Nope, these are just my everyday clothes!"

Always remember, everyone else is too worried about themselves to care about you!

What's a misconception you wish you could stop hearing? Have you even been proved wrong by a misconception? Let me know in the replies or reblogs!

#egl community #egl fashion #lolita fashion #jfashion #lolita blog #journal #baby the stars shine bright #innocent world #metamorphose temps de fille #moi meme moitie #angelic pretty

[icycoldninja]

OKAY-!

So I've been wanting to request something for a hot minute from y’all; Vergil (or Nero..? Idk if you do stuff for him tbh) having to warm-up with a Male reader during a blizzard???

(👉👈 Never done a request before so idk how much to put. I love your work and can't wait to read more from you (/p)!)

AAAAAA I KNOW U, U ALWAYS REBLOG MY WORKS WITH THOSE HILARIOUS TAGS! I've also read your stuff on ao3! I love your works too! I'm so glad you requested! I chose to do Vergil cause I like writing for him more than Nero lol; hope you enjoy!💜💜💜

Warm-Up (Vergil x Male!Reader)

Bonus pic I pulled off Pinterest for ya cuz y'all deserve it 💜

You shivered in your seat, goosebumps breaking out across your skin. A blizzard raged on outside, rattling the walls of your house and, via several drafts in said walls, lowered the overall temperature to lows your poor human body couldn't handle. You continued shuddering, wrapping your arms around yourself in an attempt to keep warm, futile as it was. You were just so cold, for an indescribable reason, no matter how many layers of clothes you threw on or how many blankets you piled on, you were freezing. It was like you were cursed, cursed to be eternally chilly.

The front door clicked, then swung open; Vergil stomped in, covered in snow. "Y/N?" He called, peeking around the corner and finding you curled up on the couch, swaddled in blankets and thick clothes. "What is going on?" He demanded, raising a thin white eyebrow at you. "I'm cold." You grumbled, tugging the blankets tighter around you as another strong wind shook the house and chilled the room even further. "Cold?" Vergil repeated, confused. He had never felt cold in his life, being an ice demon and whatnot. Nonchalantly, he stalked away to remove the snow from his person and change into dry clothes. A few moments later, he rejoined you in the living room, only to find a pile of blankets where you once had been seated. "Y/N? Where did you go?" A hand--your hand--shot up from within the mountain of bedclothes. "Right here, Verg. Right here, freezing my ass off." Vergil sighed, then began shifting the blankets aside to get to your trembling, nearly numb-with-cold form. "You lack motivation," He stated, shoving the blankets aside, then taking a seat on the couch and rearranging them in his lap. "A mere bit of cold is nothing; such a trivial inconvenience should mean nothing to you." While those words may have sounded harsh and derogatory, they were in fact, meant to be motivating--and they were.

"I...I guess you're right," You admitted, sighing and sitting up. "it shouldn't bother me, but it does." Vergil scoffed, then dragged you by the arm over into his lap. With a grumpy huff that was probably caused by embarrassment for his uncharacteristically soft behavior today, he began to wrap you up like a burrito. Once he was done, he scooped you up and cradled you in his arms like a mother with her baby.

You were confused at first, but soon relaxed into your new blanket cocoon. "Are you warm now?" Vergil asked, after a few moments of silence. Believe it or not, you were. The cocoon, combined with Vergil's furnace-like body heat, did wonders for your own body temperature, warming you up much more efficiently compared to all the other methods you previously tried. "Yes, I am," You murmured, rather enjoying this treatment. "Good. I suppose I can unwrap you now, correct?" You shrugged, not really wanting to leave Vergil's lap. "If you don't mind....a little longer?" Vergil gave you a side-eye that could have withered flowers, but said nothing and made no attempt to move you. You yawned, now that you'd been warmed up, you were starting to feel a little sleepy. "Tired?" He inquired, bouncing his leg so as to rock you easier. "Yeah, a little," You sighed, yawning again. "I'm gonna take a nap...wake me in a few hours, ok?" Vergĺil nodded, pressing a quick kiss to your forehead. "Very well." As you closed your eyes and began to drift off to sleep, you could have sworn you heard him mumble "Sweet dreams, my little lump of coverlets."

#fluff #Dmc #vergil dmc #Vergil sparda #vergil x reader #Dmc5 #Dmc 5 fluff #devil may cry #Devil may cry 5 #vergil devil may cry #Vergil x male reader #Fanfic #dmc fanfic #thanks for requesting #requested #icycoldninja writes

[bookishfeylin]

this was a while ago (a couple months at this point i think) so i might be misremembering, but once in the comment section of an acotar critical video a commenter kept claiming that tamlin was never retconned (which... im not sure what else youd call one of his defining traits in acotar- being observant- suddenly disappearing due to trauma when he was still observant post-amarantha at the end of tar, or some of his values and opinions suddenly also changing in maf, but alright) because throughout the first book he was, according to them, manipulating feyre- specifically lovebombing her. they never specified which events led them to believe this, just that it happened. thoughts?

*sighs*

This argument is one that, unfortunately, I've heard many, many, many times over by now, and have made several posts about in the past. Because, truth be told, it's the best rebuttal they have when you point out direct retcons. The problem is that Tamlin manipulating Feyre, or even lying about his values, is disproven both in the book and in the sequels that follow, and this is because a lot of Tamlin's characterization is based on Feyre's observations of Tamlin, especially at times when he's not aware she's observing him (in contrast to Rhysand telling Feyre what to think about him every other page in ACOMAF).

A very good example of this was with the dying Summer Court faerie. Tamlin and Feyre care for the faerie as it passes away babies, and this scene is viewed by many as a good character moment for Feyre that establishes her kindness under a gruff exterior, but the same is not said for her other half, likely because all the Feysands who reread ACOTAR view all of Tamlin's actions as inherently manipulative. The problem here is that Feyre was never supposed to be present. Feyre was supposed to be asleep in her bedroom on another floor of the manor when Tamlin returned with the fae, and it's only through coincidence--her having a nightmare about killing Andras that wakes her up--that she's present to see Tamlin extend kindness and try to help the faerie in the first place. Ergo, Tamlin's action here can't have been an attempt to manipulate Feyre because Tamlin never expected Feyre to be present, and the kindness shown to lesser fae, and by extension, what that says about how Tamlin views individuals in lower socioeconomic classes than him, is a genuine facet of his character.

There's also a lot of background established about Tamlin that simply can't have been done on purpose by him to manipulate Feyre. What, did he start taking in refugees from other courts like Alis and her nephews because 50 years prior he had a psychic dream about Feyre and he wanted to make himself look really appealing to her? Did he treat them well solely so Alis could make him sound good to Feyre to convince Feyre to go UTM?

I also take issue with people arguing that Tamlin was love-bombing Feyre. It was already discussed before here by someone who's pro-Feysand who also picked up on this (and this ask is already getting longer lol so I'll just link it here and reblog it later) but the TLDR is that Tamlin demonstrably does not want to manipulate Feyre per another conversation she listens in on, and he decidedly chose to abandon the goal of making her love him when he sent her home. Every single "Tamlin never really love Feyre he was just love-bombing her and manipulating her" argument forgets that fact for some reason??? Like he sent her home before she could even do what she was supposed to. He sacrificed himself and his people to eternal damnation for her, without ever expecting to see her ever again. He offered himself to the woman he's known since childhood to shield Feyre from harm. So if you want to argue that, like the beast character he was based on, Tamlin originally brought Feyre to his manor for the purpose off making her fall for him to break his curse, then fine, but it's impossible to argue that throughout their relationship and by the end he was manipulating her and had no genuine love for her.

TLDR: it's a stupid argument that relies on selective reading and I hate it.

#ask #anon #acotar analysis #anti acomaf #anti acotar #Sjm critical #tamlin

[kindestegg]

Analyzing all the differences in the storyboards posted by Yasmin Khudari and the final product! - Part 1: No Collector Edition

Hello everyone!! Today I bring you a different kind of meta post than usual... I'm sure some of you are already aware that Yasmin Khudari who worked on The Owl House has posted quite a lot of storyboards for episodes in season 2B and For the Future as well. I will reblog this post with the link to her site later (as if I believe correctly the issue with posts with external links on them getting shadowbanned still is not fixed).

But for now! Under the cut, I will point out every difference between the storyboards and the final cut and what this could mean! There's a lot of exciting stuff to go through, so much so in fact that I will have to cut this post in half to showcase the Collector related storyboards elsewhere because there is just! So much ground to cover! And the 30 image limit would burst!!! (I know this because I've literally tried.)

(A small side note... I have elected to sometimes to not show picture evidence of things changing because we do have a 30 images limit here and I want to hopefully talk about all the changes!)

Starting with Season 2 Episode 12, Elsewhere and Elsewhen, we have this cute little scene of Lilith cutting some branches out of the way while Luz follows her and does a little twirl. I imagine this was just cut because it wasn't very necessary, but it is cute as hell.

In the final episode, they cut directly to the scene where Lilith is looking at her book showing the Pools of Time entry.

Another subtle difference likely cut for time, Lilith originally would sniff the seaweed brought by her palisman that ended up on Luz's head. In the final episode, this little action is absent.

Something that was not cut but rather added this time! In the storyboards, Lilith only goes "Eh?" when she thinks she failed in finding the time pools, whereas in the final episode, she goes into her whole spiel about how she "triple checked all her calculations, her equipment is first rate". It's possible that while the moments seen before were cut, this was added instead.

There is also another slight divergence in dialogue. In the final episode, Lilith's monologue goes: "Maybe the blood was too dry? Is it not algae blooming season?" Whereas here Lilith wonders if the map was outdated or if the oak was a bit more of a pine before wondering if it's not algae blooming season.

And finally, there is a moment that was also cut from the finale episode where Luz is wowed by the discovery of the prehistoric Boiling Isles, but finds out she can't breathe in there. This would explain why in the final episode she is heard coughing before pulling her head back out.

I do think it's a shame this was cut as it would better explain why she was coughing and would be a neat little nod to the fact the air would have been different in that era of time.

Next, we have another set of boards for Elsewhere and Elsewhen, this time showcasing Luz and Lilith traveling with Philip to the head. I'm excited to get to this one because this has some juicy changes I want to discuss.

And our first change already shows exactly what I mean: there is no mention of The Collector in these boards. Instead, both Luz and Philip are seeking something called "The Song of Stars".

And equally, Luz doesn't refer to it as a "he" who can tell them how to clear the mist, but rather just something that can grant them power.

Is it possible that at the point in time these boards were getting done, the Collector was not yet meant to be a character? Maybe the Song of Stars was rather some kind of powerful spell, something that would grant Philip a power similar to the draining spell.

Smaller detail but just something I thought was cute: In the original boards, Luz did not say "snap snap snap" out loud, so I'm glad that was added in the final cut. It's cute!

But you know what did not make the cut? Philip being a suck up to flatter Luz and Luz being absolutely adorable about it. He calls her crab language "beautiful" and says both her and Lilith are very brave and that they're like warrior princesses, which sure makes Luz happy. Oh, if only her happiness could've lasted.

A blush and happy tears!! My god girl!! I am so sorry your idol turned out to be a douche! You deserved to have kept that happiness!!!

I do have some theories as to why this was cut. Could have been reworked for time, or could have been that they didn't think people may get the reference (this reads like a Xena Warrior Princess one to me at least), or even that it might seem odd for him to have that concept...

I do think the blush here is interesting, we have seen characters in the show blush in contexts that aren't romantic such as when they are embarrassed, looking up to someone or think something is cute. So this isn't too odd, Luz is meeting what at the current time is a big idol for her and he is saying very nice things to her, which would understandably get a strong reaction.

Minor change: Luz goes "what!" in the original storyboards before asking if Philip uses glyphs too. Again, very minor change, but! Cute!!!

Interesting change here: In the original boards, Philip does not comment that it took years for him to find the glyphs and that it was almost as if the world wanted to hide them from him.

Instead, he comments he "didn't realize there was one for light as well".

This is REALLY interesting to me, because it also makes me wonder if the subtle theme of it being ambiguous whether the Titan's consciousness lingered and somehow hid the glyphs from Philip or if he was just that disrespectful and stubborn towards the B.I culture and wildlife that the only way he could rationalize his hardship was through the world being against him... was way less present in an earlier draft of the story.

He also does not comment "a warrior and a scholar, truly impressive" at Luz after she tells him she also found a glyph in a snowflake, just being quiet instead. I think that part may have been added to make more thematic sense with Lilith having a small quiet moment of looking weirded out by Philip's flattery right after.

Another minor detail: Luz also blushes in this storyboard when gushing over teaching Philip the light glyph, but this is absent in the final cut. I wonder if this was done so people wouldn't get the wrong idea, or, rather, if "my idol is so cool" gushing would be considered to be something that wouldn't be worth blushing over.

Another instance of The Collector being replaced by The Song of Stars. I find it funny in a silly way that it's in all caps, makes me think of how RPG games will write important key items or boss characters in all caps.

And that's all for the differences in this episode! But before we move onto the next, I wanted to talk a bit more about the Song of Stars because this all just... fascinates me? Coupled with that one storyboard we have seen from The Owl Beast nightmare that showed what seemed to be three figures instead of one, I wonder if back then they were toying with the idea of the celestial magic opposing earthly magic from the titans and the collectors as a species being the reason why titans are gone, but they didn't think to actually have a collector as a character back then, only have them as some distant threat and adding to the lore. The song of stars could have been some kind of powerful spell or weapon left by then way back when, perhaps even what killed the titans.

Maybe we will know once the series ends and we can ask all about the cut storylines that ended up being discarded in favor of the current one. I certainly want to know!

For, Them's The Breaks, Kid, now, we have one minor dialogue change. Eda adds a "honestly", when she says she thought there'd be more (to her misdeeds). Maybe they took it out because she WASN'T being honest? LMAO.

This is an interesting cut line: In the storyboards, before saying she'll be separated from Lilith, Eda says her parents "will kill her". While we know this is classic Eda hyperbole, I think this is interesting because to me it may have been cut due to the fact that this could be seen as odd when her parents have been shown previously to be pretty understanding... or maybe there is more to the Clawthornes than we think of.

I'm definitely not saying Dell and Gwen would be abusive, fucking hell no, but Gwendolyn has at the very least been pretty overbearing on Eda at times, and has made Lilith feel left out, presumably even before the curse if Lilith's desperation to stand out above Eda is anything to go by. Maybe, even without meaning to, Eda and Lilith's parents were pretty strict about getting them a good enough education and nudging them to join the Emperor's Coven. I mean... where do you wonder their aspiration to it came from?

Or, again, I'm just looking too much into this and this line was cut precisely because this wouldn't reflect Dell and Gwen well.

Small detail, in the storyboards, Eda said "I'll do anything to make up for this" instead of just "I'll do anything". I think it's possible they cut this because it made more sense to imply she'd do anything to stay rather than "make up for" things she wasn't truly sorry for.

More small details! Faust doesn't say "no child is beyond redemption", but rather "no one". This is interesting to me because it would imply Bump's life philosophy extends to adults as well, and in my opinion nods to the goodness in his heart.

Also! In the storyboards Eda doesn't laugh nervously, just raises her hand at Bump.

"IFWOT" also used to not have its name be said in the storyboards when Faust explained it to Eda and Bump, instead he simply called it a "special training program for gifted students of the Isles". I think this was more of a change to let us know of the name really, and it's possible they didn't have the name when it was boarded.

And finally, Faust was I guess supposed to laugh offscreen when he walked away, but this is absent from the final episode. I guess they either thought he might not be the type or they just forgot to add it, after all it would require someone to remember to record the line and add an offscreen sound effect.

Another set of boards for the same episode also shows Lilith and Eda in their studying together.

For starters, instead of Lilith saying "Trials for the Emperor's Coven are just around the corner", she says "The Emperor's Coven will be here *any* day" in the storyboards, which to be fair isn't a big difference, specially since the storyboards afterwards continue the same way with Eda pointing out seven months isn't any day/just around the corner.

Also something interesting, when giving Eda her question, Lilith specifies a potency the Leadfoot potion would have. Does this imply that potions can be mixed with varying potency, making some purposefully weaker or purposefully stronger? Maybe as a way to create balance?

Also it is barely a real difference, but I thought it'd be criminal to not let you all know Lilith is described to be "slightly envious" in the storyboards when stating that Eda is correct lol

She also had EEE on her dialogue before saying "imagine us both getting" on the storyboards which I'm sad didn't make it in!

Also there was no dialogue for Lilith pointing to the clock in the original storyboards! I'm guessing they added "look we're gonna be late" as a way to clarify what pointing anxiously at a clock meant lol

The storyboards then cut to way later in the episode, with Raine having transferred to Hexside and Eda meeting them in the cafeteria. Another slight dialogue change is Raine used to simply say their parents were surprisingly cool about it, rather than they hated the cold on the knee like they do in the final product.

It is very faint, but there is also a cut frame of Eda blushing at Raine while smiling here. Very cute!

Raine also used to take a sip while saying "give me the rundown of this place" while cutting that sentence in the middle and going "blegh" because of the taste, rather than in the final cut where they say the full sentence and then take a sip.

I think this may have been cut simply because it made the pacing of the dialogue way too awkward.

And finally, Raine used to laugh at Eda commenting on how much she liked the apple blood, which I think is just cute.

Next up, Labyrinth Runners! We have three different sets of storyboards for this one to get through!

First of all! After Bump takes a fighting stance, the coven scouts look at each other and shrug, which was cut in the final version. Guess they'd usually not think much of Bump huh...

Another set of storyboards shows us a pretty different look at the scene where Adrian has Gus held inside the gym: First of all, for some reason this set of boards is missing all of Adrian's dialogue, which makes it hard for us to infer just how much changed about that from the storyboards to the final cut, but we can see a glimpse of a different storyline with Gus' one line in all this:

"I'll never join your coven"... does that mean, originally, Adrian would try to force Gus to join the illusion coven, and Gus was resisting because he probably figured out by now getting coven sigils is bad news? But then again, I can imagine this was cut and quickly reworked into something a little less convoluted and more straightforward: Gus wouldn't know yet just how bad joining a coven is and about the draining spell, and Gus DOES specialize in illusion, so it could look odd that he is resisting this much.

There's another set of boards of when Hunter wakes up at the infirmary, and sadly this one is also missing dialogue. But we can still infer some differences!

First of all, after Skara tells him it's not an illusion and he is in the healing homeroom, Hunter opens his mouth briefly, maybe speaking words of relief or just sighing in relief really.

Also minor thing: it's a bit hard to tell with how these storyboards are with missing chunks, but it seems like Willow would have walked up to Hunter to defend him without him having to have brought up Gus' breathing exercise.

And for the last board in this, uhm, I don't... think this was meant to make it into the final cut but. LOL. LMAO.

Moving onto King's Tide!

Originally, we would've seen Luz use her safe fall spell when dodging Belos' attacks!

Also, instead of saying that it took him years to figure that (combining glyphs) out, Belos instead says it took him years to "harness their strength"... and he does NOT say anything about it being almost as if the titan was hiding it from him. Hmmm. Perhaps, more fuel to the fire of the theory that back then, there was no subtle implication of either the titan's consciousness lingering or Belos attributing his own disdain and lack of care to the titan?

This also curiously alters the next bit of dialogue: he still says "though you're still decades away from beating me", just earlier. And soon after, he says "that was almost impressiv-" getting cut out when Luz sends fire out at him. Not gonna lie, I almost wish this was kept because I like the idea of Belos getting cocky and immediately getting blasted, unable to finish his sentence. But oh well!

Speaking of dialogue differences!

Here, Philip says "And I'm giving you a chance to be saved, Luz. To go home!" instead of "And despite our differences, I want to help you, Luz. I can send you home." I consider this more or less the same, really, but it is an interesting change. He leans more on the saving aspect here.

And there is a pretty big cut scene also with how Luz responds to "I don't want to see another human life destroyed by this place".

Here, she snaps that he's the one destroying things, and wonders what it is all for, and then asks "what do you think they DID to you?"

Only after this, in the storyboards, does she go on to her "you're such a hypocrite" lines.

To me, this is a bit of a shame for having been cut out, because I feel like it brings up a good point about how Philip self justifies his wrongdoings by believing that the Boiling Isles residents are all inherently bad by the way they simply are, and that this divergence he cannot understand could somehow justify the drastic violent measures he takes.

I think it could have been this was cut for time, or maybe the crew thought this addition would be a bit confusing for some audiences to understand the implications it is trying to set up. It IS indicative of a bigger exploration of Philip's psyche after all.

Another incredibly interesting change: in the storyboards, Luz used to not have the petrification spell continue crawling up her, and is able to shake it off okay. I imagine they changed this to maybe make the situation look more dire and up the stakes a little, otherwise the scene might be too stale and anticlimactic with just Luz being able to keep talking and not having time ticking down on her life.

She also shuffles to her feet and is able to stand up while facing him, while in the final episode she can't get up due to the petrification spell still crawling up on her. Not gonna lie, I almost wish we did get this one, because the way she controls the situation with Philip here kind of feels more satisfying like this, while in the final product, you're busy going "shit shit shit LUZ OH NO".

She also used to cry a lot more on the boards when begging for the deal... I wonder if they added the petrification continuing really to just hammer home the desperation and make her crying have a "reason", though uh... hot take, I think she has reason enough to cry considering the Draining Spell threatening to kill everyone.

Also! Belos used to "chuckle" as the boards call for it when he was about to shake Luz's hand, but he doesn't do so in the final cut.

And finally for this batch: there's a small cut moment of Belos saying "you" with pained effort at Luz after she fucking booms him and gets the sigil on him, and she fucking STARES back with the most ominous badass look. I'm kind of sad that didn't make it in. Yeah it's minor but I like every time it's very clear Luz is being a thorn on his side and he is actually really fucking bothered by it actually.

Next batch of storyboards for this ep shows the fight with Belos on the bridge! First difference I can think of is that Luz was supposed to say "Philip" very quietly before getting jumpscared by him showing up behind her. It may have been cut similarly just because of them not getting audio for it or something or it not being necessary.

Bigger dialogue change: Instead of saying "we don't belong here", Belos says "I wanted to save you", which adds more fuel to the fire that they used to put a lot more emphasis on Philip's psychology of seeing himself as the one who gets to decide who is saved and seeing himself as a savior and martyr, and also someone done wrong by the demon realm.

I can't really know for sure why this was reworked and why more emphasis was put on rather Philip seeking to relate to Luz in their humanity. A lot of these boards seem to put even more emphasis on them as foils, standing up as equals against each other, and I do kind of lament we lost that? I mean, don't get me wrong, I can totally see that STILL lingers in the final product, but it feels way stronger in these.

By the way, if you're wondering, Luz does not say "I'm nothing like you" here either, it just cuts right onto Willow grabbing Belos with vines.

Also! When the gang shows up, they used to have no dialogue about how they're here to help and all, just cutting to Luz saying "you guys!!" (in the final product, she says "You guys are literally the coolest"). I do like the final product more, it's cute and adds more I think.

This one deserves to get shown: there's a cut little moment after Amity covers Luz where they look at each other and blush and it is! So cute! Why did it not make it in!! WHAT! Just because it "isn't the time to be gay"? Bullshit! Yuri time is all the time!

But for something that wasn't in the boards but made it in! Hunter protecting Willow was added in the final product!

And that is it for King's Tide... and so I ask that you tune in next time for when I analyze the For the Future boards!! I am VERY excited to get through those, specially because even between the roughs and cleans for a scene, there's so many little differences!!! And I want to talk about it ALL!!

#the owl house #toh analysis #storyboards #toh storyboards #luz noceda #emperor belos #philip wittebane #eda clawthorne #raine whispers #sorry for tagging all these characters but theyre all pretty relevant here! #commander's orders

[iamacolor]

i'm turning 27 today so I've officially left the "young people group" - bye bye youth prices, my fellow europeans will understand - and I think it's the first time that a new birthday makes me feel really adult (despite not feeling that different from last year) and getting my adhd diagnosis is definitely a reason for that. it's given me such a different outlook and approach to myself (with less shame and sense of inevitability for the things I can't do and more gentleness with myself) and it's giving me more hope for different things in the future. I'm not where I thought I'd be when I was a teenager and 27 seemed so grown-up, neither when it comes to work, money, travelling or where I live or even romantic relationships since there's still nothing on that front lol. While that could be sad I also feel very at peace and also excited to try to things.

I started medication and I'm very happy to feel that it has an effect on me (I had a weird fear that it wouldn't do anything and that it'd prove that I didn't actually have adhd and was just not doing enough even if I knew that wasn't true but it's not that easy to let go of the feeling that it's just a question of effort and will but thankfully that's been proved wrong lol) and that so far there have been no secondary issue except for a slight loss of appetite - it's only been 3 weeks and I'm still in the testing phase where I started with the lowest dose and then I increase it everyweek to see how it goes but I feel much lighter in my brain and more in control even if it doesn't last all day. I shocked myself on one of my days off where I sat down to scroll on my phone and thought oh I should actually start cleaning my room and then I just stood up and did it more thoroughly than I've ever done since I moved in lol. I've even initiated tidying up and reorganising our workshop and cleaning up the machines at work, my manager says I'm in my organising and tidying up era.

I never would've read up about adhd symptoms the different forms of adhd and how it shows up in adults if I hadn't seen a random reblog on this website, back in September I believe, about executive dysfunction that lit up something in my brain because wow there was a word for the thing I was struggling with!! So I guess this is a very long way to say that holding on to this blog for so long was worth it and thank you to everyone here for sharing so many random stuffs, it's cool to think we're all having impact on each other 💜 and this is also to say please educate yourself about the various forms of neurodivergence because I genuinely thought I knew enough about adhd to never even consider it for myself and that what I was struggling with was just a "me problem" so you or someone you know or will know might be neurodivergent in some ways and you can make your life or their lives easier by knowing how to handle it and not to stigmatise either yourself or the people around you 💜

#hope everyone here is well 💜💜💜 #I haven't been on here a while because I've been sewing/reading/knitting a lot and I'm not watching any dramas but all is well!! #vinformation

[izzysillyhandsy]

Izzy's Gravy Basket

While discussing Izzy's looming end of season extravaganza (apparently Con's acting is so good we're all gonna lose our minds) on this poll, and maybe in connection with my episode 8 speculations here, @nicelimegreen put the thought of Izzy's own personal gravy basket in my mind - and I love it so much I have to write about it.

While Ed and Stede already let us see into their minds (and it was fascinating!), we haven't had anything like that from Izzy. And true to my firm belief that OMFD is a story about three central fuckups, an Izzy dream scene/hallucination would be absolutely perfect for the season finale to bring everything together.

Also, the unhinged enthusiasm of people who have seen all the episodes, specifically relating to Con's performance in episode 8, leads me to believe that there's something dramatic coming.

And why not Izzy's own purgatory?

I know, this makes it 3 death scenes in one season (plus 2 toe snips, an amputation and possibly torture?) which I would find a bit much even in hurt/no comfort fanfic, but it kinda is that kind of show, isn't it? (and I love it)

The fascinating question is, of course, what would Izzy's purgatory look like? (Please reblog and discuss, I'm going crazy with anticipation in general and about Izzy's conclusion specifically)

Let's look at our blueprint: Ed's gravy basket

Central conflict: self-hatred, fear of being a bad person, lack of self control, unloveable, no one cares if you live or die Location: beach, hut, cliffs Representation of self: Captain Hornigold, retired Pulling him out of it: Mermaid Stede <3 (I messed all of this up. I'll never leave you. You're safe.)

For Izzy, in my opinion, the central conflict is "What am I?" (from initially, "What am I to you?"). His arc this season is becoming a well-rounded person who can stand alone (first step: get a unicorn leg) and isn't (co-)dependent on his captain.

But that might not be all there is. Ed's death was directly connected to his conflict. I can't see how Izzy's death is caused by him becoming a more realized person.

Except... maybe this is a conflict between self-actualization and self-sacrifice. I've said it before, I sense a lot of guilt about something in his (and Ed's) past. Something about others paying the price for your ambitions (Letting someone die or driving them to suicide? Killing someone you love?).

Izzy spent a lifetime in the shadow of another man, propping him up (as best he could). Maybe there's a reason for this level of self-abandonment?

The location could be many places really - we know nothing of Izzy's past. It has to be quiet and introspective though, so I suggest a lake in some lonely place (Edward Teach born on a beach, Israel Hands born in the Midlands). Or a ship - because, at his core, Izzy is first and foremost a sailor.

Much more interesting is the person who'll be there with him. Keeping in line with our blueprint, it could be someone from Izzy's past.

For Ed, it was his feared captain who traumatized him deeply but also influenced large parts of his outwards persona, his conception of piracy and appropriate pirate behaviour. These are parts Ed hates about himself and that make him unhappy, and it ties in with his central conflict of course.

But for Izzy it could be the exact opposite. If it truly is a person from Izzy's past, it's very difficult to speculate who (that's why we need a scene like this - we know nothing about the fucker!).

I all comes down to how Izzy sees himself. Contrary to Ed, I don't think Izzy's conflict is self-hatred, so the person representing his self won't be someone Izzy hates.

I also don't see someone threatening - it is more likely someone in need of guidance, someone vulnerable and "weak". Maybe someone who wasn't strong and able enough to do their fucking job (and Izzy should have done it for him, then).

So who could that person be? It could be someone who was dependent on Izzy a long time ago, maybe someone he let down because he didn't protect/guide them properly. The person could be connected to the spade (traitor's?) tattoo or the ring on his cravat. It could also be a young Ed, who Izzy tried to take under his wing (for the record, I do firmly believe that Izzy taught Ed quite a few things, maybe not all he knows though).

He could also be alone 😢

I don't think Izzy wants to die like Ed did (he's doing quite well right now), but we've got 3 episodes left - who knows what'll happen. The guilt could play into it, or a feeling of this is how it was supposed to happen, I've paid my debts.

In any case, right at the end, someone will come and pull him out.

In spite of the crew being Izzy's love now, they've already saved him in Ep4. I think this time it should be Ed who comes for Izzy. I can also see Ed and Stede both being explicitly needed (Izzy has two hands).

I think there's a possibility Izzy won't drown though - maybe he'll burn in a wood/house/ship fire. A self-imposed fiery death in hell seems fitting with the guilt-theme somehow. But that's just me probably. Water works perfectly well too.

For the rescue, I am struggling to come up with something even half as perfect as a mermaid, I mean Ed and Stede can always ride in on a unicorn (bit of a double meaning there, but whatever), but that doesn't feel quite right - maybe Ed with a shark's tail? Someone else will have a brilliant idea I hope!

Going with Izzy's assumed conflict of self-actualization vs. self-sacrifice (and protection of others), the thing he needs to hear to bring him back would be something like "it wasn't your fault", "be happy" and "I/we want you in our lives but be your own person" (just a little more poetic maybe).

Conclusion: Izzy's purgatory will tell us something (harrowing I'm sure) about his past. Con's acting will be off the charts. We will want to thank him face-to-face (I've wanted to do that from the start, so...)

But Ed or Ed and Stede both will bring Izzy back - he'll thank them in his usual charming way and they'll live happily ever after <3.

Hope this wasn't too scrambled! Thoughts?

#ofmd #izzy hands #edward teach #stede bonnet #ofmd s2 spoilers #Izzy's gravy basket > Izzy's revenge #if this doesn't happen now I'll be disappointed #I need to look into Iz's mind! #whatever happens we will cry in any case #con o'neill's eyes haven't been dry for weeks

[skz317cb97]

Poppy's Dream

Lee Minho x Thick female reader

Word count: 4.5k

Synopsis: A sequel to Teasing Poppy. Some big news comes up and you're unsure how to tell Minho. Luckily you get some sound advice from an unexpected visitor.

A/N: 18+ only! Moving right along! I can't believe how quickly I got this one out! I had the idea for this one about as long as I did the Seungmin one. This is the third sequel in the SKZ x Thick Reader Series. I definitely cried writing Teasing Poppy and I hate to inform you that I definitely cried writing Poppy's Dream. I hope you guys like it! If you do give it a like, reblog, comment on it, shoot me an ask and a keyboard smash! I love the feedback I get from you guys on this series! As always warnings and smut below the cut.

Warnings: MDNI 18+ONLY! Cursing/swearing, vomiting, oral (f receiving), fingering, unprotected piv sex (use condoms folks), cream pie, cum play (a little), squirting, mentions of a breeding kink. There is some warnings omitted (nothing violent or graphic) to keep the element of surprise in the story, so please keep that in mind when reading. 🖤 I think that's it for this one, if I missed anything please let me know and I'll add it to the warnings asap!

You sat at the dinner table with Minho stirring your dinner around in your bowl grimacing. Just the sight and smell of it made you nauseas, although you typically liked Indian food. He laughed a little at the face you were making.

"What is this again?" You asked. You usually like Minhos's cooking, clearly, that night's dinner, was not a win. 

“It's dal makhani, its usually one of your favorite when we go out. It's the first time I've made it, you don’t like it?” He smirked and you put your spoon down. 

“I don’t know, I haven’t tried it yet. I’m sure it’s good I just...” Before you could finish your sentence, you slapped your hand over your mouth and ran to the bathroom. Minho was right behind you making sure you were alright. Just as you got to the toilet everything in your stomach came out. Minho took a step back when you started puking. 

“Uh... are you okay?” You looked at him irritated by the obvious answer to his question. 

“Oh, yeaa Minho I’m great I’m just down here checking the wax seal on the toilet.” He chuckled a little at your sarcasm. He always thought you were cute when you were sassy like that. 

“Alright yea dumb question, do you need anything?” You sighed and laid your head on the seat of the toilet. 

“A water maybe?” Minho nodded and left to get you some water. You started puking again wondering if maybe something you ate that day didn’t agree with you. When everything had evacuated your stomach and you drank some water you felt a lot better. 

“It had to have been something from lunch.” Minho nodded agreeing. The next day while he was off at work and you were doing some work from home, a wave of nausea hit you again. You ran quickly from your computer to the toilet and everything, which wasn’t much, came up again. What the hell, you thought you’d gotten this out of your system. You didn’t say anything to Minho that night when he got home. You felt better again and you didn’t want him to worry but in the middle of the night you sprang up from bed, scaring the life out of him as you dashed to the bathroom again.  

“Hey, are you still not feeling well?” He asked as he made his way into the bathroom behind you rubbing the sleep from his eyes. You shook your head. 

“I thought I was better, but I guess not. I’ll make a doctor’s appointment tomorrow.” He nodded, yawning and helped you up so you both could get back to bed. The next day you made that appointment, just as soon as you were done throwing up your breakfast. They luckily had a cancelation, and they were able to get you in that day. You called Minho and told him you were going to the doctor, then got washed up and ready to leave. 

For some reason as you sat in the waiting room of the doctor’s office you started to feel a bit nervous. You couldn’t put your finger on why and the anxiety didn’t help the nausea you were already feeling again. A nurse came from the back and called your name. She escorted you to a room and handed you a gown. 

“Go ahead and put this on and another nurse will be in shortly for vitals.” You nodded and took the robe. You always hated the smell of hospitals. You liked the smell of dirt and flowers, and hospitals smelled the total opposite, like antiseptic and sanitizer you hated it. It also reminded you of the time you spent in the hospital with your grandfather while he was sick, which wasn’t the best time in your life. You still thought of him every day. The next nurse came in, took your vitals, and asked a few routine questions. 

“Allergies to any medication?” You shook your head no. 

“Feelings of hurting yourself or others?” You shook your head no again. 

“Do you feel safe at home?” You scoffed and she looked at you. 

“Yes. I’m safe at home.” The nurse nodded. 

“Are you sexually active.” Your face turned red and you nodded. 

“Any chance you could be pregnant?” You were getting ready to shake your head no again and stopped. 

“Uh, I don’t think so...” She pulled out a little plastic cup and handed it to you.  

“Go ahead into that bathroom and pee in this cup for me.” You took the cup and did as she said. When you came back out, she took the cup and left you, saying the doctor would be in shortly. You sat there picking at your cuticles and racking your brain. Could you be pregnant? It wasn’t out of the realm of possibility obviously. You and Minho had a healthy and particularly active sex life. You didn’t use condoms anymore because you were on birth control, but you were a little careless sometimes and missed one here and there. When was your last period? You counted in your head and then the doctor knocked and came in. 

“Ms. y/l/n! I think we’ve figured out the source of your nausea.” You were on the edge of the table waiting to hear what he said next. 

“It looks like congratulations are in order. You’re pregnant! I’d say probably between eight to ten weeks, but we can find out for sure at your first prenatal appointment I’m going to send some prenatal vitamin’s home with you and I want you to start taking them first thing tomorrow.” You were absolutely gob smacked. Pregnant. You and Minho had never discussed having kids. How would he react? Would he be upset with you? You were scared. Scared to tell Minho, scared to be pregnant, scared to give birth, scared to have to care for a living thing that could not care for itself. You didn’t know how you would tell him, but you had time to think. You were still in your first trimester; you wouldn’t start showing for a few more months. You had time to figure it out. When you got home Minho was already there. He met you at the door and took your coat. 

“Well? What did the doctor say?” You should tell him. You needed to tell him. You HAD to tell him. 

“Just a stomach bug he thinks, everything is good.” You internally cursed yourself for being such a coward. Minho looked confused. You cupped his face and kissed him sweetly. 

“I’m okay Min, really.” He nodded, taking your word for it. He knew if it were serious, you would tell him. The next week was pretty much the same for you. The sudden urge to puke any given time morning noon and night. You were hiding your vitamins and taking them every day like the doctor said, but they seemed to be making the nausea worse. Minho was starting to worry, if this was a stomach bug shouldn’t it have worked its way out of your system by now? You hated that you made him worry but you were still terrified that he might be upset with you when he found out.  

That next week, you couldn’t take it anymore. You called your doctor and left a message explaining that your prenatals were making you sicker and asked if there was anything he could do to help. As you were hanging up the phone Minho walked up behind you wrapping his arms around you from behind. You hadn’t heard him, and it made you jump and squeak. 

“Sorry baby I didn’t mean to scare you.” You shook your head. 

“No, you’re fine Min, I just didn’t hear you come in. I didn’t think you’d be home until later this afternoon?” He rested his chin on your shoulder and hummed. 

“I wanted to come check on my girl.” He kissed your cheek. 

“Who were you on the phone with?” You thought quickly. If you said the doctor he would only worry more. 

“Mom, she was calling to check up on me too.” Minho smiled and squeezed you a little tighter. 

“How you feeling?” You shrugged. 

“So so, I’m thinking about taking a nap. I’m just really exhausted for some reason.” Minho turned you towards him and examined your face. He put the back of his hand to your forehead, then his lips. 

“Okay baby get some rest. I’ll make something light for dinner a little later.” You nodded, kissed Minho and went off to nap in your room. About an hour after you had fallen asleep Minho started to clean the kitchen before getting dinner ready. Just as he started the dishwasher the phone rang. He hurried over to answer it, so it didn’t wake you. He wanted you to at least get a couple hours of rest. He was worried about your condition. You were always sick and seemed to be getting weaker for no reason. Minho pushed those thoughts aside and answered the telephone. 

“Hello?” An older man’s voice came over the line. 

“Yes is Ms. y/l/n available? This is Dr. Reed calling her back.” Minho was surprised. He didn’t know you had called your doctor again. You must still be feeling really sick. 

“Oh, uh well she’s resting, she hasn’t been feeling well. I’m her boyfriend, is everything okay?” The doctor hummed. 

“Oh yes. I just wanted to let her know that I called in the prescription for her prenatal vitamins, these should be easier on her stomach, but I want her to take an extra for folic acid. If the new ones I prescribe make her sick too she can do Flintstone vitamins she just has to take two and I will call her in a calcium supplement to add to the folic acid.” Minho stood there speechless. 

“You get all that son?” Minho nodded as if the doctor would see and found his voice again. 

“Yes sir, prenatal and folic acid, Flintstones, and calcium if they make her sick.” The doctor hummed in approval. 

“Good, if she needs anything else just have her call the PA and leave a message and one of us will call her back as soon as possible.” Minho thanked the doctor and hung up. He let out a breath he hadn’t realized he’d held in and ran his hands through his hair. Prenatal vitamins? As in prenatal prenatal, as in pregnancy? You were pregnant?! How long had you known? Why hadn’t you told him yet? If you were taking the vitamins surely you intended on keeping the baby. Maybe you didn’t want kids. The two of you had never discussed it. You had been together a year and a half and only moved in together a few months before so marriage, babies, hadn’t really been a big discussion between you yet. Minho’s thoughts swirled like a cyclone in his head. He went back to cleaning the kitchen and getting stuff ready for dinner as the questions piled up. 

You were walking through your grandfather’s greenhouse, the sun shining through the panes of glass warming your skin. You ran your fingers along one of the flower beds taking in the scent of all the freshly bloomed plants. It was peaceful there, it always was. You needed a little peace right then. When you heard his voice, it didn’t startle you at all. It was as if you expected him. It’s where you would always find him, so you weren’t surprised he was there now. 

“Poppy plant?” You turned and there was your grandfather. You ran up to him and threw yourself at him, hugging him, crying. He still smelled like mint and earth just like he always did. 

“Pop! Pop, I miss you so much!” You sobbed into the apron he always wore, and he smoothed your hair down comforting you. 

“Shhh, now Poppy, don’t cry. There’s far too much to be celebrating right now.” You backed up and looked up at him confused. 

“Wha-” He scrunched his nose smiling and booped your belly. 

“I’m gonna be a great pop!” Your jaw dropped. How on earth did he know? Before you could even ask, he spoke again. 

“I like the boy. He treats you well and has a good heart, a bit of a smart ass but... he would never hurt you.” You stood there speechless. 

“Why haven’t you told him Poppy?” You snapped out of it realizing he’d asked you a question. 

“I... I... I’m scared. What if he doesn’t want kids, what if he’s upset with me? What if... What if he leaves me and I have to raise a child alone?” Your grandfather pulled you in and hugged you tightly. 

“That boy would never do that. You’re a part of his heart now and that little girl will be too.” You pulled away again and gasped at the information your grandfather just revealed. Your hands held your belly that still wasn’t showing yet as tears continued to fill your eyes. He nodded.  

“You’re going to be such a wonderful mother and you made a wise choice in your partner. You are going to be so happy for a long time Poppy and my heart soars because that’s all I've ever wanted for you sweetie.” You hugged your grandfather tightly. You felt like he was going again, like you were losing him all over again.” You held him. 

“Now y/n, you listen up, go tell that boy he’s gonna be a dad. I love you. I have to go now.” You cried harder, squeezed harder. 

“No, you can’t! You can’t go again! I can’t do this without you!” Your grandfather cupped your face in his big, calloused hand as tears cascaded down your face. 

“Oh, Poppy you never will, I’ll always be with you.” You squeezed him tighter, but it wouldn’t stop the inevitable. 

“Goodbye Poppy plant, goodbye sweetie.” 

You woke up hysterical. Minho heard you from the kitchen and went rushing into your bedroom panicked, worried something might be wrong with you, something might be wrong with the baby. 

“Y/N! Baby baby! What’s wrong?! He sat on the bed in front of you and you threw your arms around him and squeezed him as tightly as you had your grandfather in your dream, terrified Minho may disappear too. Words that were barely discernable were coming out between choked frantic sobs. 

“I’m pregnant Minho! I... I’m pregnant. I’ve known for almost two weeks. I’m so sorry I didn’t tell you before. I was so scared Minho. I was scared you would hate me; I was scared you would leave.” You pulled away looking into his eyes, yours were wild and filled with panic. 

“We’ve never talked about children; I don’t even know if you want to be a dad. I’m so sorry I’m sorry please don’t leave me, please don’t leave me too!” Minho struggled to take everything you were saying in but managed to get all of it. 

“y/n, Poppy, baby... It’s okay. I’m not going anywhere. Take some deep breaths, it’s not good for the baby for you to be so upset, please try and calm down.” You took some deep breaths. It helped that Minho was so calm. After a few breaths, you weren’t quite as frantic, but tears still streaked your face. 

“Are you upset with me?” Minho shook his head immediately. 

“No baby no! I know we didn’t talk about kids but anything that’s a piece of me and you is a good thing, okay? Please don’t worry. I will never leave you. I love you y/n, you are a part of my heart, and now this baby is too.” You could not control the tears coming from your eyes and wondered if you would ever run out. Your grandfather had told you that very thing. 

“I love you Minho, I love you so much.” He kissed you and you wrapped your arms around his neck, threading your fingers through his hair. Minho deepened the kiss and his tongue slid into your mouth, teasing yours. You climbed onto his lap and his hands slid up your thick thighs and squeezed your ass.  

“Want you, need you, please. Make love to me Minho, please.” You begged for him in between heated kisses filled with teeth and tongue. Minho would never deny you. He turned and laid you back on the bed, running his hands down your plush skin. When he got to your tummy he stopped and traced a heart around your navel, and you thought yours might burst. Minho kissed right below it and continued his trail of kisses down to your panties. He looped his fingers through the sides and pulled them down. You lifted your ass assisting him in their removal. 

“I don’t think we’ll be needing these tonight kitten.” He threw them, landing god knows where, and you laughed. You laughed until Minho’s tongue drug through your folds. He teased your clit with the tip of his tongue, then gently sucked. He went back and forth between those two maneuvers until you thought you would lose your mind. 

“Fingers, please Min fin-fingers.” You were dripping now so Minho’s two fingers slid inside you easily. 

“God yes Minho yes!” He started moving them in and out of you just a little, curling them and reaching your g spot expertly.  

“Cum for me baby, melt on my tongue.” Minho started sucking on your clit again, when he felt your walls starting to flutter around his fingers, he knew you were close and hummed in delight, sending you teetering over the edge of the cliff you had been standing on. His strong veiny hands held your thick thighs down on the bed as he licked and cleaned every bit of your cum from your pussy. 

“So good, such a good kitty, so fucking tasty.” He gave it another broad lick with his tongue and then climbed over you. He was looking down at you while you tried to get your bearings again. Minho couldn’t believe his dumb luck. He moved into a new place, met the love of his life and soon to be the mother of his child. He felt tears pricking his eyes at the thought. 

“You’re so beautiful y/n. I’m so happy with you, I’m so happy that you’re having our baby.” He kissed you and unlike the heated ones before this one was tender, this one made you want to cry you were so happy. Minho sat up on his knees and unbuttoned his shirt tossing it aside before laying back on his back and removing his pants and underwear with minor difficulty before kicking them away. You sat up a little and giggled at him as he sat back up on his knees and cocked his eyebrow at you. 

“Something funny kitten?” You bit your bottom lip, smiling and shook your head no.  

“Mmhmm...why don’t you give me this shirt.” You sat up the rest of the way and lifted your arms as Minho pulled your shirt up and over your head, leaving you completely naked in front of him. Minho took in every inch, every curve, your full breasts, that pooch your tummy got when you sat, he loved every bit of you, every single inch of your body but your heart was what he loved most. He looked so lost in thought as he took you in. You cupped his cheek, and he snapped out of it. His eyes, pools of black ink that you lost yourself in when he looked at you like that. 

“I love you y/n.” Then just like that his lips were on you, and he laid you back on the bed again, grabbing one of your breasts and teasing your nipple until it perked. He started sucking on it while he teased and pinched the other making you arch up into his touch. He nibbled and licked at your other nipple and then peppered kisses up your chest and neck before passionately claiming your lips again. Minho lined up his cock with your entrance and slowly pushed his length inside you. When he was buried in you, you felt so full, so full of Minho, so full of love. He slowly pulled and pushed back in deep, rolling his hips and hitting a spot inside you that made your toes numb. 

“R-right there Minho, r-right th-there.” He pulled out and pushed his cock back into you giving you that same roll of his hips. You grabbed his ass; you urged him to move faster, and he did. Everything Minho did when he made love to you was calculated. He knew your tells, the signs he was doing well and to keep going. You chewed at your lips as Minho fucked you faster, the sight of him rolling his body as he fucked you was divine. You were staring at where the two of you met, watching his hips continue to roll into yours. 

“You like what you see kitten?” You blushed as you realized you were busted ogling his cock while it was inside you. 

“Cute.” He gripped your squishy hips, digging his fingers into your soft skin and fucked you harder. Sweat was beading on his forehead and chest as he tried to hold off coming. 

“I-I don’t think I’ll last much longer baby...” You pulled him back down on top of you and kissed him. 

“I’m close Minho please, cum with me, cum with me Min.” Minho groaned and kissed you again as he chased towards both of your orgasms. Minho felt your pussy squeeze his cock as your back arched off the bed again, he started rubbing your clit driving you full on into your climax and making you squirt on him. 

“FUCK Y/N FUCKFUCK so sexy! I’m fucking coming kitten!” Minho painted your insides with his seed and fucked it deep into you, still gently massaging your clit. 

“God yes take it kitten, fuck! Hold it in beautiful.” When you were back in your body after that orgasm and you both had somewhat caught your breath Minho pulled out and watched as some of his cum started to drip from your hole. He took two fingers swiped it up and pushed them in along with his cum. You moaned and then giggled. 

“You can’t get me more pregnant Min.” He pumped his fingers inside you making you moan again. 

“Yea but now I get to see my cum inside you all the time.” You laughed again and ran your fingers through his hair as he laid down beside you. 

“New kink discovered? Minho and his breeding kink.” Minho smirked and cocked his eyebrow at you again. 

“I mean it’s not really a kink if I actually bred you though, is it?” He kissed your neck. You blushed and clenched at his words and could feel his cum dripping out of you again. He pecked your lips and started to get up. 

“Where you going?” You asked as you yawned. Minho smiled at you warmly. 

“To get our shower ready.” You and Minho both got washed up, changed the sheets and got into bed. You laid your head on his chest and listened to his steady heartbeat lull you to sleep. 

“Babe, I have a confession to make...” You sat up quickly worried. 

“No no, not like that I just... I knew you were pregnant already when you told me.” Your jaw dropped and you felt bad that you didn’t tell him, that he hadn’t heard it from you first. 

“How?” He pushed your hair away from your face. 

“Your doctor called you back about your prenatal vitamins.” You rolled your eyes at yourself. 

“I’m so sorry Min, I was gonna tell you I just didn’t know how, I’m sor-” Minho leaned up and kissed you. 

“Don’t be, okay? It’s alright.” You nodded and kissed him again before settling back and resting against his chest again. He did wonder though...  

“What made you change your mind and tell me so suddenly?” You sighed and nuzzled into him more, his arm coming around and holding you close to him. 

“My Pop told me to...” Minho looked at you with a quirked eyebrow. You explained your dream, seeing your grandfather and everything he told you, about how he liked Minho and said you were having a girl. After you both talked for a while longer, you telling Minho that your grandfather said he was a smart ass, and bouncing around some baby names, you both drifted off to sleep. Neither of you had any idea what you were doing or what came next, but you knew as long as you were together you could do anything. 

You were tending to your plants in the greenhouse Minho had built you two years before. You were just getting around to Blue when your daughter came running in. She ran up to you and threw her arms around your waist, squeezing and burying her face in your dirty apron. 

“You’re gonna get dirty sweetie.” She snuggled in more. 

“I don’t mind mommy you always smell like flowers and the garden.” Your heart swelled at how sweet your daughter was. When she looked up, she saw Blue and smiled. 

“Tell me the story about my Great Pop and when he got you the pretty blue one mommy!” You smiled and pushed her hair away from her face. She had her dad’s sharp eyes and nose, and they twinkled mischievously like her father’s as well.  

“Why do I feel like you’re up to something?” She smirked, just like her dad, and shook her head. 

“Pleaaaase mommy!” Just as you were about to give in Minho came out on the back porch and called for your daughter. 

“Lee Rose!” You looked at her and she knew she was busted. 

“What are you supposed to be doing right now?” Rose picked at her cuticles. 

“Helping dad collect the laundry.” You smiled and shook your head at your daughter. Your husband was making his way over to the greenhouse certain he’d find his daughter there. There was a smudge of dirt on Rose’s nose, you took your hanky and wiped it off gently. 

“Go finish your chore and when you’re done, I’ll tell you the story okay?” Rose nodded and ran off past Minho. 

“Hey! You bett...” You grabbed Minho’s hand and pulled him into the greenhouse with you shutting the door as your daughter ran towards the house. You wrapped your arms around his shoulders and kissed him. 

“She’s supposed to be...” You finished his sentence. 

“Getting the laundry together. That’s what I just told her to go do.” He gave you the same smirk your daughter just did. 

“Why do I feel like you’re up to something?” You laughed. Just having said that to your daughter you realized, while she looked so much like Minho there was definitely you weaved in there. Minho hugged you tightly and buried his face in the crook of your neck, tickling you. 

“You better tell me...” He relented and your laughter subsided. You kissed Minho softly then your lips trailed across his cheek towards his ear. Minho’s hair started to stand on end. You pressed your lips to the shell of your husband’s ear and whispered. 

@caroline-ds-world @jquellen27 @chansynie @ughbehavior @hyunelixies @fixation-dump @lachinitaaaaa @rinrinndou @bangchans-angel @laylasbunbunny @owo-manii-uwu @armystay89 @acciocriativity

“I’m pregnant.” 

Please do not repost or translate any of my works. My blog and stories are NSFW and 18+ ONLY! Minors, ageless, and blank blogs will be blocked!

#stray kids smut #skz smut #lee minho smut #lee know smut #minho smut #skz317cb97 thick reader series pt 2 #skz317cb97 thick reader series #skz317cb97 #cal 🖤

[doodle17]

The Brainiacs DTIYS

Ladies and Gents, we have reached a whopping 200+ followers! 🥳🥳🥳🥳Can you believe it? I sure can't! I just quickly want to thank everyone for the follows and getting me here. I never knew people would enjoy my silly little scribbles this much!

Before I get on to the big thing, I'm going to quickly say that NO I have not forgotten comic requests. In fact, I'm almost done with the first one! Just adding the finishing touches :)

Now, on to the thing I'm sure you've heard about - or not - either way, this is something I've been planning for a good while, and that thing is...

DOODLE88'S 200 FOLLOWERS PSYCHONAUTS FUTURE DTIYS!

I'm assuming you may know what the rules are, but in case you don't, I'll leave some answers to questions you may have...

For this DTYIS (draw this in your style), you don't have to have it shaded or lined exactly like the original. You can make it lineless, painted, traditional, or just a sketch with color! (This is a draw this in YOUR STYLE, after all)

- Try to keep the outfits and designs as close to the original as possible. Don't outright change their designs.By designs, I mean hair and other accessories. You can change proportions like head shape and size to fit your style.

- You can slightly alter poses and facial expressions if you want.

-The special # to be used will be "the braniacs 200 follower DTIYS"

-@ me in the post!! I want to be able to see it!!!

-PLEASE REBLOG THE CRAP OUT OF THIS! I want as many people to see this and participate as possible!

- Please, don't be weird.

This'll be going on for 3 months! Deadline will be July (14) 11:59 Mountain time, and winners and whatnot will be announced 4 days to a week afterward. If you are unable to complete the illustration before the deadline, but want to submit it, its perfectly fine to just enter an unfinished illustration or sketch. It's highly unlikely it will get a winning spot, but it might get an honarable mention! :) Speaking of which...

There will be 3 winners and a few "Honorable Mentions"! 3rd place gets a traditional sketch, 2nd place gets a digital sketch with color, and 1st place is a full and complete illustration! Honarable mentions get shoutouts with an @ and a link to their illustration. When winners are announced, said winners can send an ask or DM me a request of what they want. You can read some of the rules I have when it comes to requests and most things in general on my pinned post. Request can be anything*!

I can't wait! This is so exciting! Good luck to everyone participating, I'm excited to see what you'll do with this!

*It doesn't have to be Psychonauts' themed unless that's what you want. It can be of an oc, a character you really like, etc. It can really be anything as long as it follows my rules

!!PLEASE REBLOG THIS!!

#Doodle88 #Psychonauts #Psychonauts 2 #rhombus of ruin #Psychonauts au #razputin aquato #lili zanotto #psychonauts razputin #psychonauts lili #dogen boole #Psychonauts dogen #the brainiacs 200 follower dtiys #psychonauts fanart #Psychonauts future

[the-fab-fox]

First, a huge, huge, huuuuge thank you to those who have donated thus far.

That money has gone to keeping me and my two cats alive and getting a few of the payments on things to keep us afloat. (Examples of those are cat food, cat litter, payment to my self account which is a credit builder to help build my credit, credit card payment, phone bill, and at times, groceries when I've run out of SNAP benefits. Also at times things of necessity such as medicines (I have allergies and get migraines as well as my mental health medicine} have been covered.)

The thing is, I keep needing to post these to get more to help cover those while I'm getting settled in my new job. As you all had read, I had lost my job but was able to get a job close to home where I actually enjoy the people and don't mind the work I'm doing—it's not messing with my mental health like the last one. But I need to find another job since it does not pay enough. Most likely I'll get a second job to help and work two jobs instead of just one.

My car is needing to get fixed in order to make that happen though. So the amount you see on my GoFundMe (the remaining) is credit at 3k but I'm working on getting it raised to 5k.

I don't expect the full 5k, of course. Believe me, I know we are all struggling right now, but if I can get close to that or get that completely, so much would be solved. So much. My car, for one, would be covered and right now my friend is the one covering it and she's already helped me out so much that I really don't want to keep having her be the one to help me. She's amazing and I feel horrible (though she has assured me she wouldn't help if she didn't want to or feel comfortable doing so). But I really just want to be able to get to a place where I'm no longer dependent on her help and can instead be in a position where I can start paying her back for her generosity.

I know none of this is any of your problem but I still wanna remain transparent on where I'm at right now and to let you guys know that I really just want to get to a place where I can be helpful to others and start paying the generosity that you have all shown me to others.

If you are able to all just donate 5 dollars, we could get this done in a couple days. If you're able to donate more, great. If you really don't care or you have your own struggles, obviously, PLEASE don't donate and take care of you and yours. But if you do have the extra and don't mind helping, but are concerned where your money is gonna go, reach out to me. I don't mind. Believe me, I know how much crap and uncertainty there is in the world and I don't want to perpetuate that.

I'm just trying to get to a place where I'm stable so I can then give my best out in the world and work to help others which is my passion.

And if you can't donate money, but still want to help, please reblog or share with others who can help.

Last thing. Once again thank you so so so much to everyone who has already donated. ESPECIALLY TO THOSE WHO HAVE DONATED MULTIPLE TIMES (S.D. you know who you are—thank you, thank you, thank you and anyone else). You guys have kept me alive. You have kept the will to live in me and kept my fight alive.

That means so much to me. Thank you all for reading. And thank you so so much—i cannot begin to thank you enough—for your continued support these past months. I'm believing I will get to a place soon where I can be the one to help support others!

#please help #help needed #money aid #money help #money assistance #money #gas money #financial losses #financial assistance #financial aid #mutual aid #mutual funds #assistance needed #donations #please reblog #please donate #donate if you can

[redthefortuneteller]

Why Snake delayed reporting to Joker

This was originally within a reblog, but since it's gotten so long I've decided it's more appropriate for it to simply be its own post. I find that it's tidier this way.

The subject of Snake not speaking up about the first tier tents being searched or his snakes having been tied up in knots, is something I see people bringing up somewhat often when talking about his life in the circus.

I'd like to give my humble opinion, which is simply that Snake didn't report right away because he knew Doll knew our Ciel was behind those wooden boxes. Doll is a first tier member, considered his superior, because Doll's part of the main cast. In fact, Doll scolded Snake but said nothing of Smile. If Doll didn't say anything about it right there and then, why would he? He couldn't just throw Doll under the bus in front of everyone, Dagger was there too.

Before I keep going, let me just show the layout of the circus and mark the path the first string took as they came back from the performance, when Wordsworth and Doll found our Ciel.

He heard what had happened from Wordsworth(presumably), and instead of going with Dagger and the others to the food tent as he was before, he walked back in the direction they had come from, to his tent without uttering a word. Doll did tell him to go put them away, so it makes sense that he'd go back to his tent. But I believe in his tent he thought of what to do with what had just happened. Likely deciding together with the snakes.

By this point, the snakes weren't tied in knots because Sebastian had already released all of them, thus our Ciel being found by one.

In the time between this and him reporting to Joker, the Earl had a little talk with Doll and then went to Sebastian to have a little banter and talk about his findings. Meanwhile Doll had changed back into the "Freckles clothes" always worn while not performing, to hide the Doll identity from the other members and keep being Freckles. While talking to Sebastian, our Ciel had an asthma attack and Doll (now Freckles) showed up and went with them to the doctor's tent. Now by this point, while they were all at the doctors tent, Snake was reporting to Joker.

From what Joker says, he told them Smile and Black snuck in, but apparently had no idea what their goal was. We're shown this scene after the reporting had already been done, so we can't know what else exactly was reported to Joker. When Joker questions why he didn't tell him right away, Snake doesn't answer and looks away. Joker shrugs it off and tells him to leave.

About the snakes in knots, it's possible that Black and Smile having been there was much more relevant information than them having been tied and locked. And so they might not even have passed this information to Snake. This information may also have been omitted by Snake when reporting, or simply disregarded by Joker, because to him the important bit is the yard being potentially involved.

After Snake leaves, Joker immediately starts blaming Doll for what happened, with Peter joining in. Which makes me wonder if he did end up telling them about Doll.

So, either Snake didn't say anything about Doll, and his refusal to answer Joker's question was due to not wanting to reveal what truly transpired. Or he did, in the end, decide to tell them of Doll covering up for Smile. If he did say everything, his reluctance to answer Joker's question could be more to do with his loyalty being questioned. Because after all, he still didn't know what to do. It was either obey Doll and keep quiet or tell Joker and do my job, which is to guard the first tier side and report should anything dodgy happen. It would understandably take a while to decide on the correct course of action. Do I go against this boss? Or that other boss? Ultimately, Joker is the ring leader.

Perhaps there's is a chance that Snake confronted Doll in that window of time before Smile's asthma attack. But if this had happened, one would think Doll would've told him not to say anything to Joker… Then there's another possibility, which is that Snake sent a snake after our Ciel. I would like you to consider this panel:

In the middle of our Ciel talking, Sebastian looks to his left side and frowns with a "?" mark. I don't think he's reacting to our Ciel's saying he trusts he can find the records, because he's finding something strange, he's got a question mark. At first glance I thought he was finding the Earl's cough strange. But the thing is that he's been listening to him coughing like that for a good while now. They've been in Will's tent, and he's been coughing practically all night. You could also say that he's feeling that our Ciel's going to have an asthma attack. But then when the Earl starts coughing more strongly, Sebastian looks like he's wondering what's wrong as he looks to the right to his master.

Consider the possibility that, in that panel, Sebastian detected an eavesdropper. Perhaps a snake. And that it has nothing to do with our Ciel, until he turns to him with the concerned look. If Snake went after (or rather, sent a snake after) our Ciel and heard their conversation, despite not understanding the context, he'd get the idea that there was something about the first tier that was being withheld from him and of course when Joker asked him why he didn't report right away, he wouldn't want to let Joker know that he'd been sneaking after Smile and found out the troupe was hiding things from him. I still lean more to think it was because of our Ciel's coughing, but I'm just giving this a chance because sometimes Yana shows us things that aren't what they seem to be in the end. Even if this was the case and Snake overheard this conversation, I don't think he'd understand much of it. "The missing children. The circus. Tom, the piper's son." is about as much as he could get from their conversation that would somewhat make some sense but still, nothing in concrete. Missing children doesn't mean kidnaped ones. I think he really doesn't know what their goal was. Also because what Sebastian and our Ciel talked about in the snake's presence, in Snake's tent, was nothing telling in any way.

Regardless, we might consider that Snake could've heard the conversation between Joker, Peter and Jumbo after being told to leave. Not even necessarily then, but at some other point in time. A conversation between the first tier members that would betray that there was something off going on.

As he said in chapter 50, he knew they were hiding something from him. This situation with Smile was odd, and if he wasn't aware of anything before this, I think this would do it. He was obviously aware that they were leaving the circus grounds, because on the day of the Phantomhive manor attack, he said to them "Going out again?". The way he said this gives me the feeling he was already aware of something, just as when he was suspecting Finny of hiding something from him in the orphanage. Snake hesitates in asking things directly.

What I would like to know is exactly the extent of what he knows in terms of their suspicious activities. I wonder if he already thought something was a little off before Sebastian and our Ciel showed up but it only became more obvious with their presence in the circus. He was suspicious, but I don't think he'd be expecting something so bad, as he clearly had no idea children were being kidnapped and showed shock at the revelation. Apologies for the long post, I hope I've added something to the discussion!

#black butler #kuroshitsuji #snake #theory #possibility #kuroshitsuji snake #black butler snake #our ciel #smile and black #sebastian michaelis #dagger #jumbo #joker #doll #freckles #noah's ark circus #snake's snakes #wordsworth #long post #originally from a reblog

[ptsd-phoenix]

10 April 2024

When I made this blog I was questioning it very much. I was very torn on whether it would be beneficial for me. In the past I have had many many blogs. Blogs that got terminated for good reason. Some blogs live on in eternity with their posts still being reblogged. I had blogs that one could consider pro-ed and pro-sh. Or rather 'not pro, just for me' which can be considered the same thing honestly.

I also had many a recovery blog in between relapse. I posted a lot of content on both depending on where I was in my journey. Yes, I have taken many pictures of my sh and shared it with strangers. If you ask me why I did that, well, in a way it was an art for me. In a way it was just the way I expressed my pain. In my eyes back then, as a sh addict who really needed sh to keep going in life, I felt like my sh was comparable to smoking a cigarette. I advocated a lot to get rid of the taboo around sh. I did a lot of research on it. The many different reasons why people turn to it. What about it makes people addicted to it. I really explored it in depth. Of course my ultimate goal as an sh addict was to be able to keep doing it without people trying to get me to stop. It wasn't much a noble goal. My sh addiction really ruled my life for quite a while. Until it didn't anymore. After many attempts to stay clean, I finally managed to go without it. I've recently passed the 8 year mark, and will hopefully continue on for the rest of my lifetime to stay clean.

Do I regret making those blogs? I do. The biggest reason for my regret is that my pictures were inspiration for others to keep their sh going. I hope I never inspired someone to start sh, but I know I have in at least two cases. That was never my intention. But the way sh works is that when you show visuals of it, or even talk about it to vulnerable people, they will get ideas to try doing it. It's logical. If someone is desperate for a sense of relief and you let them know others have achieved a form of relief by doing something bad. Those desperate people don't care if it's bad, they just want to try and achieve that relief. This is partly how I even ended up with my sh addiction in the first place. I already did forms of sh, but I wasn't aware of other ways existing until people told me not to start doing those too. This inspired me to try those ways as well. I would have likely never done that otherwise.

This is especially true for my eds. While I struggled with eating already, I would have never been able to think up the complex ed behaviors by myself. Those were all copied and inspired by other people's ed thoughts and behaviors. I watched documentaries just for more tips. This is why I believe this topic is also really vulnerable to be discussed and it's difficult to bring awareness to without potentially inspiring someone or fueling their early developing ed. I recovered and relapsed with my eds many times in different ways. It's still something I have to be mindful of because the road to relapse is a slippery slope you can easily fall down. One thing that really inspired and motivated me to recover was, ironically, some pretty dark places on the web where people share all details about their disordered behavior. Seeing especially the much older people struggling and still trapped and seeing how absolutely miserable they were. It made me realize just how absolutely miserable I was. I can't quite explain just how truly truly miserable. My body was dying because of me and I could feel it. I recovered with the help of mostly the book called 'Wanneer kap jij ermee? - Isabelle Plasmeijer'. But also help from others, creating a sort of psych ward like setting at home where I was being monitored. It took a lot of work to recover but I think I've done a pretty great job by myself (and those that helped me). Looking back at it now I think I haven't given myself nearly enough credit. I really just revived myself. Also great great shoutout to Ro Mitchell on youtube. I really recovered side by side as she went through her journey. I would put her videos on with every meal. (I don't watch her anymore now as I consider that to be triggering for me)

Anyway, what led me to type this is. I worried so much that my blog would be yet another festering pit of just pure destructive habits. Instead it actually turned out to be a really healthy coping mechanism. I believe venting feelings and pain is incredibly helpful. Doing so while creating a sense of community can feel so healing because you are not alone in your feelings. I do have a boundary for myself in place that I do not follow any blogs that post vents or traumacore. I only go through those type of blogs and tags when I need to express emotions I am already feeling. This means I get to protect my precious vulnerable mind from unexpected triggers and negative emotions. My dashboard on tumblr really is a collection of uplifting, motivating, validating, comforting, soothing, enjoyable content.

I think that expressing pain in an online space in a healthy way is possible. It's important that it's done safely, by not hurting oneself or others. Providing the right content warnings so people can be warned or filter it out. Not tagging it with things that are not related to it so that people don't suddenly see disturbing content in otherwise safe places. and taking care of yourself as a user to really use the features that allow you to blacklist words and themes. Blocking users that post upsetting content or that just trigger you for one reason or another. Turning off anon if you get a lot of upsetting messages. Knowing not to browse certain tags when you are already triggered. Knowing which tags to just never browse, period, not even when happy or stable. Taking note of your boundaries. Not triggering yourself on purpose as a way of sh. There's a lot that can be done to make it safe to vent.

I'm quite glad I made this blog. It has indirectly given me friendships that I'm very thankful for.

#tw ed #tw sh #phoenix posts non poetry