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#can't even *lead* them

I know I’ve been away for a long time (my last 2 posts were from the beginning of 2019 and the one before that is from August 2018…), so it’s very likely that almost none of 300+ of you remembers me, but tumblr still stays the only site where I’ve managed to get over 100 followers and actually socialize with people. And post things and be really active and share my thoughts and stuff…

So my blog feels like the only place I’ve truly tried to “be myself” and actually let people “see” me. I usually just observe when I’m online and feel too shy to bring attention to myself, but a couple of years ago I did it for a few years on here and it was fun.

I had my reasons for leaving and I still don’t feel like getting sucked back in like I was before (nor do I think it’s possible anyway), but I want to use this place to at least advertize my current activities/projects. This is the only place online where I feel like I have actually connected with people who have become my supporters and viewers in a way… So it feels logical to reach out to those people when I’m trying to find people who might like my work and be interested in becoming my viewer/subscriber/follower.

I’m planning to update this place (my blog description, make life update posts etc. possibly changing the profile picture as well, idk). But for now I just wanted to drop by to say hi and also inform you that I started an art channel on youtube.

Here’s the link if you want to check it out:

I’m trying to get out of my comfort zone and draw more as well as generally put myself out there more. I’ve had an interest in running a youtube channel for about 10 years now and during the years I’ve made a few attepts, but quickly gave up. (but this is my first art one)

This time I’m trying hard to learn to be braver and fight my fears and insecurities, by facing them and doing the things “I would do if I wasn’t scared”. It’s going well so far 😅

Anyways, I guess I’ll probably write again soon, so… See you later? :) 

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Shortly after Alex’s 18th birthday CELEBRATION, I went into LABOR! I went to the hospital as recommended. However, this time I went to a CHRISTIAN hospital so I knew that I would not be given any PROPAGANDA about limiting the size of our QUIVER.

While we waited, we recited BIBLE verses and PRAYED for a smooth delivery.


Unfortunately, I had to have an unplanned C-SECTION. We can NEVER know what the Lord will bring us.


At 1:18 pm, our FOURTEENTH blessing August Sam Rowan arrived. And to our SHOCK and DELIGHT mere minutes later little Ivy Jane Rowan arrived. We chose to get MINIMAL medical care and NO ultrasound and leave it mostly in GOD’S hands, so this was COMPLETELY unexpected. Please pray for a speedy recovery for me!

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