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rocksandrobots · 3 years

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Fanfic Fashion - Engagement Gown

So in this episode, Rapunzel tries to booker a peace treaty with the Saporians by canceling the Day of Hearts and replacing it with a new holiday called ‘Unity Day’ to symbolize, what she hopes will be, the end of the second Saporian/Coronian war.

The Saporians surprisingly agree to the truce, however Rapunzel’s idea of ‘Unity Day’ is just to repurpose and repackage old Hearts Day traditions.... this goes about as well as you would think.

Anyways she talks Varian and Honey Lemon into participating in the ‘new’ tradition of signing the ‘Shampanier Scroll’.

Below is a segment from this episode... so spoilers

Varian starred up at the hastily repainted ‘Happy Heart’s Day’ sign in annoyance. All they had done was cross out the ‘Heart’ with a big red X and then wrote the word ‘Unity’ above it. It was tacky and lazy, and it pretty much summarized everything that was wrong with Rapunzel’s plan. They hadn’t even let the paint dry completely before hanging it up and the rose-colored paint ran down the banner making it almost ineligible.

It made Varian angry. This was their best shot at ending the war and Rapunzel threatened to ruin it all with her thoughtlessness. And the worst part about it all, was that the princess genuinely was trying. She wanted this peace more than anyone, but she was unfortunately too inexperienced and shortsighted to enact her attempts at diplomacy with any sort of tact.

She barreled on through with her ideas, ignoring how pressed for time they were, paying no heed to the nuances of history, culture, and tradition, and generally failing to listen to anybody. It was a surprise that Andrew and the rest of the Saporians had even agreed to go along with this mess.

It was more than surprising; it was suspicious.

Varian would have much rather spent the whole event with the Captain helping to maintain security. He didn’t trust Andrew to keep his word anymore than he trusted a storm cloud not to poor down rain. Unfortunately, Rapunzel had insisted that his participation in the festivities was vital to the negotiations.

Many of the smaller villages were sympathetic to the Saporian cause, including most of the former residents of Old Corona. As one of them, Varian was one of the few people in a position of power that they trusted. Seeing him agree to the truce and take part in the ceremonies could help to bridge the gap between the islanders and the folks of the mainland, which in turn could put pressure on the Saporian forces to keep up the peace.

It was all just political theater, and Varian hated it. He hated having so much responsibility. He hated having to plaster a smile on his face and pretend that everything was okay when it wasn’t. Mostly though he hated how his private affairs had become public spectacle.

Everyone knew that he was in love with Honey Lemon. That was no secret. The townspeople even referred to her as ‘the alchemist's wife’, which made Varian cringe whenever he heard it. Not only was it inaccurate, but he also felt that it was disservice to Honey Lemon herself since she was a brilliant chemist in her own right. Still their relationship, as rocky as it was, had always been between the two of them up to this point, and not some show for people to gawk at.

“I got the scroll!” Rapunzel sang out, carrying a roll of paper with her.

“And explain to me again how this is any different from just signing Herz Der Sonne's journal?” Varian asked, exasperated.

“It’s a scroll.” She said, pointing to it as if such a superficial change mattered. “Also it belonged to General Shampanier, the person who helped to end the first war, so it’s both Saporian and a symbol of our new truce.”

Varian folded his arms and looked at her as if she was the dumbest person alive. “General Shampanier? The same general who is still deemed a traitor by the Saporian people to this day... Gah, Rapunzel! Why do you think they all hate Heart’s Day to begin with!?

Rapunzel only looked up at him with big wide eyes and a pout on her face as she clutched the scroll. It made him feel guilty, which only made him even angrier. He wasn’t the one who was jeopardizing everything that they had worked for with their stupid schemes.

“Well, then just don’t mention that it belonged to her.” A voice behind him gently suggested.

Varian turned around when he heard Honey Lemon’s voice, and his breath caught in his throat at the sight of her.

She was radiant.

Varian had sewn a new dress for her, just for the occasion, along with Faith’s assistance. His friend had found some old tablecloths that the royals were just going to throw away. Instead they had rescued the material and together had made a fancy ball gown of linen and lace, with Faith giving input to the design. Varian knew nothing of fashion nor of women’s undergarments, and was grateful for her advice. Especially, now that he saw what it look like on the love of his life.

It was cream colored and trimmed in off-white lace. Both the skirt and sleeves proofed out in soft folds of fabric, framing her already slender waist which was fitted in a golden threaded stay. The collar was also made of lace and hung off the shoulders revealing Honey Lemon’s swan like neck, which was adorned with a simple gold chain. Varian wanted nothing more than to trace kisses along those shoulders and hear her gasp in delight whenever he would reach the nape of her neck, but not here. Not with everyone watching them.

Instead he reached out and kissed her hand. As always, she wore the platinum promise ring he had given her back in San Fansokyo. He kept it’s matching half on a chain close to his heart. He had been but a boy, foolishly high on his own hype, when he had first proposed to her, and she, perhaps foolishly herself, had believed his grand proclamations. He had broken so many vows since then, made her cry so many times. He didn’t deserve her, and yet here she was, still refusing to leave his side. Hopefully today would be the day that he could finally give her the other half of that ring and keep his promise.

He tucked a stray bang of her hair out of her face and behind her ear and then in the same motion caressed her cheek. She nuzzled his hand and held it there with her own hand. She looked up at him with the sweetest smile, and his heart melted. He could get lost in her hazel eyes forever, the rest of the world be damned. Everything else about her was appealing to look at as well. From the delightful dimple in her chin, to her elegant long nose, to her fiery read hair that refused to stay in place. It was all imperfectly perfect, just like her.

“Do you like the dress?” He asked her.

“I love it.” She breathed. “Especially, the flower crown.”

Varian had spent hours that morning making the blasted thing. It was still February and there hardly were any blossoms to be had, and so he had scoured the country side looking for them. The end result was less grand than he had hoped for, but Honey Lemon had seemed to like the simpler style. It was an Old Corona tradition for bride-grooms to pick the flowers for the bride’s crown. True they weren’t having an actual wedding, yet, but Varian wanted Honey Lemon to feel special on this day, anyways. Just because the ceremony was performative, didn’t mean that his love for her was.

#varian #honey lemon #varilemon #of rocks and robots #spoliers

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anne-writes · 3 years

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Yaoi Fandoms; Representation or Fetishization?

1,305 words, 5 min~ reading time. Seperated into 25 paragrpahs for easier reading/writing. I worked on this while very sleep deprieved so comment an edits uwu. Essay under the divider.

TW: Sarcasm, slight meaness (from me and others), inappriopriate messages to minors, censored cursing, babies?, I’ll update if I figure out any more.

+===========================================================+

It seems whenever a thing in the media with plenty of men in it (youtube groups, bands, shows, ect.) will eventually come out with an MLM ship. This isn't inherently bad because men loving other men is amazing. Good for them. I'm so proud. The problem comes from the stans focused on this ship/couple.

Stans, am I right? The majority of unneeded cancel-culture and cyber-bullying. (Note how I say unneeded) I don't actually mind a lot of stans, probably since I don't use Twitter often.

Now my problem with stans is they find a content creator (musician, artist, YouTuber, ect.) and they try to make this person fit into their specific box of expectations via bullying, and fear of being cancelled and their career ruined.

This sucks for many reasons, because, these content creators are still human, right? Stans don't usually seem to know this and put these people on an unreachable pedestal. Kind of like your parents who expect you to stay the same gifted kid throughout your life. It eventually gets exhausting. Let's put this train of thought on hold for just a few minutes.

Now all of that brings me to my point of writing this. Are yaoi fandoms a good thing or a bad thing? Are they asking for representation or fetishization of their faves? Are they trying to get more LGBTQA+ creators known or are they looking for their uwu gay babies?

I think the question boils down to, who is writing the majority of the fanfiction and what kind of fanfiction is it? Are straight women writing your gay man smut for other straight women to enjoy? I think this is a good telltale if your yaoi fandom is good or bad.

Now, I don't mind straight women writing gay characters having sex, having angsty sex, discovering themselves and falling in love, and straight women reading it, because good on you for not caring about what kind of romance story it is! Everyone loves a good romance story for the many different tropes, I'm partial to enemies to lovers.

I do have a problem when it's not really meant as romance and more something for straight women to get their rocks off if you catch my drift. Getting off to a gay relationship because it's gay is really weird in my opinion. (I'm looking at you, straight boys who watch lesbian porn).

It's quite weird to get off to these kinds of relationships and leads to fetishization. We already are trying to tell the straight boys this, but the gays aren't around for straight people's porn-watching pleasure. It's the same as women liking gay men for being gay. Or men liking lesbians for being lesbian.

I feel that a lot of Yaoi stans aren't asking for representation more so are they asking for two men making love for their pleasure. This leads to the box of expectations that seem to come with every stan. (I told you we'd come back to that earlier point)

As soon as the ship is adopted by stans, it seems to always get joked around by the content creators associated with it. Examples can include, Harry Styles and Louis Tomlinson, and Dream and GeorgeNotFound.

There's now the notation of 'well they brought it up so it must be true!'. And so, if the content creators continue making jokes about their shipname, the more of a cultish following grows and the more expectation for this to be real.

This is pretty dangerous, as whatever one of those men gets a girlfriend, or a partner that isn't this specific person? Then the fandom turns against the 'traitor' and tries to solve any problems standing in the way of their ship. See Babygate. Whether or not you believe in that situation, the way they (stans) treated the families was just downright terrible.

I mean sending porncaps to an underage minor? Just because you think the actress might also be the same girl that the minor's brother got pregnant, wtf. (Apparently, those larries aren't very approving of sex workers and porn actors/actresses /maybekidding,whoknows)

As terrible as that situation was handled and everything, it does show what kind of people those stans can be when something or someone gets in the way of their perfect ship.

They also share the argument of 'this man is in love with another man, so he is gay' which makes me think they're even less so wanting representation. Because representation at its finest would be all sorts of sexualities, genders, ect. not just one specific sexuality.

Representation can come without fetishization. Many content things have been able to accomplish this. For example, some nice MLM webcomics can be found on Webtoon. Blades of Furry is quite cute, and perfect for all my furries out there. Boyfriends is about a Poly MLM group of 4. (Kiss it goodbye, Not So Shoujo Love Story for you WLW in need) (I wanna be a cute anime girl for my trans cuties.) (The Four of Them for a story about a group of kids discovering themselves.)

You can ask for representation without it being about the actual sexual component. LGBTQA+ smut is good for communities with these kinds of ships, but it shouldn't come at the cost of sexualization. Their relationships shouldn't become all about sex, because a lot of people do actually have the ability to keep it in their pants y̶o̶u̶ ̶h̶o̶r̶n̶y̶ ̶f̶*c̶k̶s̶.

Posters being obsessed with their top and bottom components and how this person has to act a certain way because they are a top or a bottom are just the same people who think dom and sub roles need to be in every relationship. Who cares about who's the top or bottom when we can just care about their love?

I'm not here to tell you not to ship MLM ships or WLW ships, or any of that. Honestly, that would just be hypocritical of me. I just want people to realize that by allowing yaoi fandoms to sexualize these kinds of relationships, you are solidifying a point in your brain, and other impressionable people's brains that gay people are only for sexual enjoyment.

Whilst I think that IRL ships are pretty weird, everyone is going to probably do that anyway. Just allow that person to be straight, or any other sexuality, allow them to have other partners and don't make their entire life and career around one little thing.

Don't expect people IRL to obey/act how YOU want them. They're humans too, and relationships are complicated. Maybe down the line, your fave comes out of the closet, but you shouldn't force them to come out just because you can 'sense' it.

It's their life, it's their sexuality/gender/identity, allow the choices to be theirs. Forcing someone out of the closet makes you a d*ck. No matter what. No 'but it was so obvious!'. No 'well it was true!'. Forcing someone to reveal a private detail about themselves is creepy and d*ckish. Who cares if you're right, you could've harmed that person's homelife or anything. Maybe they wanted to keep it secret because who are you, as the fan, to dictate what they can share with you.

And so, I leave you with some final words. Not everyone has to be gay, as much as, not everyone has to be straight. Sexuality and Gender identity are a spectrum and you cannot decide anyone else's. Allow people to be who they are, and don't stalk people. That's f*cking weird.

I hope you all have a fantastic day/night/whatever. And next time, think about if your actions will be helping the community or not. I'm sure no one means to harm it, but it's ok to check in with yourself and your actions every once in a while to better yourself.

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atinydise · 4 years

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Ateez reacting to their s/o being scared of flying

❦ Genre: Fluff.

❦ Pairing: OT8.

❦ Word count: 3k.

❦ Requested: Yes, thank you! 🦋

❦ Masterlist.

HONGJOONG

Hongjoong and you needed to go to Paris for the Fashion Week. He insisted to go there with you. “I’m so excited!” he claimed, sitting on his seat. “Oh yeah… me too.” You replied quietly. Hongjoong noticed that you were quiet as soon you stepped in the airport. At first, he thought that you were probably tired, it was 4 AM. “What is the first thing you want to do when he will arrive in Paris?” “Hum… If it’s at night, I will definitively go to the Eiff-” you started. When you felt the plane moving a bit, you couldn’t help but to hold your security belt tighter against you.

“Y/N?” Asked Hongjoong. You couldn’t reply, you were like in your own world. In your mind, you were alone in this plane. Terrified and paralyzed. You never say it to Hongjoong that you were terrified of plane. You saw so many things about crashes or accidents that you were imagining a thousand of horrible scenes. “Y/N, I might be wrong but… you don’t seem really comfortable right now.” Said Hongjoong. You wiped the single tear sliding on your cheek. “It’s okay, I was just a little scared.” “Scared? Of what?” He asked, obviously worried for you. “Plane,” you scratched your head, embarrassed. “Really? Why you never told me! I would never bring you here!” “You really wanted to go to Paris. I didn’t want to ruin the moment and one of your biggest dream.” You explained, mentioning the Fashion Week. “Babe… you are too kind sometimes.” He held your hand. “But I would completely understand the situation.” “It’s okay, now we are in already.” You bit your lip of anxiety. Hongjoong looked around him to see if you had time to go out of the plane, but the air hostess started to talk about the security rules. “Well… I will try to help you as I could to make you relaxed enough!” “I doubt you can but let’s give it a try,” you smiled. For the whole flight, Hongjoong was making sure you were comfortable enough and that you could rest. He chose good movies for you, played his favorite playlist and you talked the whole night when everyone was sleeping. You almost forgot you were 873 km away from the earth.

SEONGHWA

“Are you ready babe?” Yelled Seonghwa, closing his luggage. You sat on the bed, behind your boyfriend. “Not yet,” you whispered, resting your head on his back. “We leave in 7 hours; you should get ready!” He reminded you. “7 hours? It’s okay I will have enough time…” “Usually, you are the first one ready.” He stated. “This is a strange.” “I’m just lazy I guess.” You lied, wrapping your arms around his waist. “Do you smell this scent?” You sniffled to smell something, “What?” “Isn’t your perfume?” “I don’t have any perfu-” “The LIAR perfurme,” he claimed. You rolled your eyes and pocked his side, making him whine a little bit. “I’m not lying.” “You seem anxious and stressed babe, I can see something is wrong.” He rubbed the arm still wrapped around his waist. “Nothing to worry about,” you replied. You didn’t want to tell Seonghwa about your flying fear. It’s probably the stupidest fear for him. He’s an idol, he needs to go overseas so many times that plane was like his second house. Seonghwa turned around so he could face you. You pouted a bit when you lost your comfortable “human pillow”. “Just tell me. You know you can tell me everything.” He stared right into your eyes. You sighed; a bit ashamed. “But this is stupid.” “Just tell me Y/N,” he repeated. “You won’t give up huh?” You flicked his forehead. “I won’t,” he replied. “Okay…,” you gave up. “I’m just scared of flying.” Seonghwa raised his eyebrows, surprised. But he simply nodded and grabbed his phone. “What are you doing?” you asked, a bit disoriented. “Cancelling our flight and renting a car.” “What? Seongh-” “We will take the plane when you will be ready,” he kissed your cheek before leaving the room. “This boy…” you smiled, falling on the bed.

YUNHO

You were in the van with the whole group. They needed to go in America for their new world tour. Yunho invited you to come for all the US stops. Of course, you accepted. You really wanted to follow your boyfriend overseas and learning new cultures. But at first you didn’t realize that going to United States means you will need to fly. You tried to find a ton of excuse to stay safe at home but a part of you really wanted to go there with Yunho and the whole group. So, there you are, sitting between Yunho and Mingi in the van. With these 2 towers, you can’t even jump off the car. “Are you okay Y/N?” Asked San behind you, pocking your shoulder. “You look tense.” “Ah?” you sneered. “Probably just tired by thinking of these longs hours of flight.” “I will ask the pilot to do some looping to wake you up.” He laughed at you. “NO!” you yelled; a bit too loud. “I mean… No.” you repeated quietly this time. “By any chance… are you scared of flying?” giggled Yunho. “Huh? What no!” you chuckled. “Cool because we have a ton of flights coming for this tour!” he pocked your cheek. “Oh… so cool…” you smiled shyly, hiding your embarrassment. They continued to talk about the tour and the flights the whole way to the airport. It wasn’t helping your fear to go away. You could imagine a thousand of scenes in your head, but they all ended by a crash. You were so focus in your thoughts, that you didn’t notice that everyone was already out of the van. “Y/N,” called Yunho. “Huh? Yes?” You looked at your boyfriend. “You’re not coming?” he asked, smiling lightly at you. “I don’t know…” you ran your hands in your hair, completely lost and frustrated. “What’s happening?” “I never told you about that because it’s probably so stupid but… I’m really really like really really really really really-” “Really what Y/N?” he stopped you. “Scared of plane, flying and stuff like that.” You finished; you avoided his stare. “Y/N! Yunho!” called San from the airport entrance. Your boyfriend made a quick sign, to make them understand that you were coming. “I know I should have told you earlier, but I really want to go there with you and the boys.” “Do you think you can handle all of these stops?” “I need to,” you shrugged. “I will help you to relax okay?” he tended his hand to you. “Okay…” you hesitate but held his hand. “It’s going to be okay!” He smiled. “It’s going to be the best time of your life!”

YEOSANG

You were reading a book about how to erase the flying fear you had since a long time. Yeosang and the group needed to go to Japan for a special promotion. Your boyfriend decided that it would be a good opportunity to bring you there since it would be your 2nd anniversary. After thinking about this proposition, you accepted. But you needed to find something which could help you to suppress or at least reduce the fear a bit. “I don’t want to take medicine…” you bit your lip. “I want something natural.” Too far in your thoughts, you didn’t notice Yeosang’s head appearing at the door frame. “Yes, but medicines are faster…” you changed your mind. “Y/N,” whispered Yeosang. “Gosh! You scared me!” You put your hand against your chest. “What are you doing?” he raised his eyebrow. “Nothing, just reading.” He stepped in the room, carefully closing the door before. “Reading what? A medical story?” he asked. You understood that he heard you talking about the pills. “Ah y-yeah… kinda.” You stuttered. “It’s a love but tragic story.” Yeosang laid down next to you, enjoying the warmness of the bed. “Are you ready for our little trip by the way?” “Talking about this…” you started. “Do you really think it’s a good idea? I mean it’s our first trip, it’s a big deal.” Yeosang looked at you, not understanding what you wanted to say. “It’s our 2nd anniversary, we are grown enough to spend 3 days in Japan.” “Yes, I know! But Japan is… you know, far away!” You played with the hem of your hoodie. “We could start with something closer! Like… I don’t know… Busan?” you offered. Your boyfriend sat up on his elbows, “what if instead of lying you tell me why you don’t want to go to Japan?” ‘He’s smart’, you thought. Visibly, you can’t lie to him. “Okay, it’s just that I’m scared of flying. It’s paralyzing me just to think about it!” “Oh, I didn’t know that.” “I never told you.” You whispered shyly. “Then… let’s cancel it and go somewhere else when I come back?” “Hmm… you were supposed to comfort me and told cringy things which could help me to hop in the plane, like in these fanfictions.” You claimed. “This is nonsense…” he yawned, laying back on the bed. “If you feel strong enough to beat your fear then come with me. I won’t force you to do anything.” “You and your nice vibes…” you rolled your eyes. “I know, I’m the perfect boyfriend.” He claimed before turning in the bed. “Just tell me when you’re ready. I’ll wait.”

SAN

You were walking with San, hand in hand, in the street. The weather was nice and not really cold. Just a hoodie or a simple jacket would keep you warm. “This is such a good night!” declared San happily. “Yes,” you giggled. “Good thing you had a night off.” “The promotion is going to end soon so I’ll be freer.” He brought you closer to him. “Oh already? I love to see your performing.” You pouted. “It’s the last promotion for this comeback not my career.” “I know but still.” San stopped in his track. You were about to ask him what was happening, but he pointed the ice cream truck in the corner of the street. “I thought you were dieting,” you smirked. “This night is too beautiful to think about a diet!” he stuck his tongue out at you and pulled you to the truck. You sat on a bench while your boyfriend was picking the sweet dessert. When you saw the smile on his face, you couldn’t help but to fall in love over and over again. “Why are you looking at me like I was the ice cream?” he laughed. You blushed lightly, but hopefully he couldn’t see it. “Just give it to me.” “Like this? No it’s boring. Open your mouth so I can do the plane. Like babies.” “Plane?” you repeated. “Yes,” he nodded. “Your parents never did the plane to help you to eat?” “I don’t think I’ll remind something like that, but they probably did.” You scratched your arm. “Maybe I would be less scared of planes with this technic.” San handed the ice cream to you, “really? It’s like a little fear or a phobia?” “I guess that it’s a phobia.” You shrugged. “I can’t stop thinking of crashing and stuff…” “Hum… like everyone, I guess. We all have this apprehension.” “Yes, but actually, you can go there. I can’t even step inside.” San stared intensely at you. “I can help you with that.” You sneered, “and how?” “Just relax and you’ll completely forget you are in a plane.” “Without being mean, let me doubt about that.” You replied. San brought his pinky fingers to your face. “Promise. I’ll erase all of your flying fear.” You hesitate. Erasing a phobia isn’t so easy. But with San, everything seems possible. “Okay, you better keep your promise.” You intertwined your pinky with his.

MINGI

You were with Mingi at the airport. Precisely, in the line to give your luggage. Mingi was so excited to go on tour with you. He asked a thousand of time his manager and CEO. Honestly, you think they accepted because they were done hearing him saying “please please please please pretty pleeease” the whole day. It’s a good thing for you now. You would enjoy the Europe countries and their special charms. But before strolling around the Eiffel Tour or the Madame Tussaud Museum, you would need to take a long flight. Flight means plane. Plane means your biggest fear. But the worst part, is that you will need to act like nothing is going on since Mingi ignored the whole thing. How you could hide your shaky legs for all the stops? “Babe what’s your seat number?” asked Mingi. “2-261,” you stuttered, trying to suppress the sob in your throat. “Okay I’m 262 so everything is alright.” You nodded, staring at your shoes to avoid his stare. But the man isn’t stupid, and he knows you too well. “Babe? Are you okay?” “Yep, so excited,” you lied, still staring your feet.” Mingi lifted your chin with his finger. “HUH?” he gasped, “why are you crying?” “I’m crying?!” you acted like you ignored this information. “Hey babe,” he whispered, holding you by your shoulders. “What is happening?” The question made you cry a little more. “I’m just so scared.” You sniffled. “Scared? Scared of what?” You wiped your tears, “flying.” “Ah…” he nodded. “That’s why you were always avoiding the subject.” “Ah, you noticed?” “Of course,” he giggled. “When I ask you if you are excited to fly and that you reply me that you want to bake… it was suspicious.” “Ah yes true...” you admitted. “It’s going to be okay babe, I’m here for you okay?” “Easy to tell but to do…” you sniffed. “You will be with me. So just focus on me! When you’re scared, tell me and I will help you to relax. When you are bored, tell me. I’ll entertain you.” He smiled. “Only you could make a whole fear so relaxing.” You smiled sadly. Mingi wiped the tear off your face, “everything my girl needs.”

WOOYOUNG

“Babe I need to book our flight; do you prefer to fly the morning or the night?” You gulped, “does it really matter? We are going to be stuck on a chair for 8 hours.” “Hum at night you can sleep during most of the flight.” He claimed. “Yay so I would die in my sleep...” you whispered. “Huh?” Asked Wooyoung. “What did you say?” “Night is good,” you smiled. “Okay then go for 9 PM.” You glanced at your boyfriend’s laptop screen. Just looking at those planes’ pictures made you sick. “Okay booked!” He clapped happily. “Yaay...” you claimed falsely. “I will print our tickets!” He claimed before rushing to his room. You slid lazily on the couch. “I will die...” you sighed. Why did you accepted to go to America with him? You buried a pillow on your face, secretly hoping that you will choke. “Stupid stupid stupid! So stupid Y/N!” You insulted yourself. “Babe?” Called Wooyoung with his tiniest voice. You glanced slowly at your boyfriend and gave him a shy smile. “I forgot my phone...” he pointed at the object next to you. “Ah...” you replied embarrassed. “Are... you okay?” You took a deep breath and sat up correctly on the couch. “Would you be mad at me if I say that I’m scared of flying?” “Of course not.” He replied instantly. “You are?” “Yep...” “Okay then do you want me to cancel our flight?” You shook your head, “I really want to go with you.” “Then okay!” He snapped. “I will bring so many things for the plane that you will be completely relaaax...” he smiled before rushing back to his bedroom. “What. Just. Happened?” You asked yourself. “Did you prefer Titanic? Or dirty dancing?” Yelled Wooyoung from the other room. Now, you ignored if you were scared because of your future flight or your boyfriend.

JONGHO

“What are you looking at babe?” Asked Jongho, plopping on the couch. “Suits.” You replied without even glancing at them. “You are so into Megan Merkle.” He chuckled. “She’s gorgeous!” “Sure...” he whispered, almost praying that you didn’t hear him. “Are you ready for tomorrow?” “Yes, my luggage is ready.” He sighed. “Too bad you can’t come with us.” “2 weeks isn’t that long sweetheart.” You rubbed his arm. “How can I survive without you?” He yelled dramatically. “Just FaceTime me between 2 fansigns.” You giggled. “Count me in.” You focused back on your series but Jongho asked. “By the way Y/N?” “Yes?” “Why you don’t want to come?” “I’m afraid of flying.” You replied, grabbing the pack of candy on the coffee table. “Really?” His eyes widened. “Yep...” “But you flew to Korea no?” “I spent the whole flight sleeping. I took so many pills I was slumbering for 2 days.” “Wow.” “But it’s okay. One day I will need to beat this fear again.” “Do you mean by that you will leave Korea?” He asked, worried. “No, silly.” You giggled. “I want to come with you, but now I don’t feel ready.” He kissed your hand, “I understand.” “Are you disappointed?” “What? Why would I be disappointed?” he asked. “Everyone has a fear.” “But because of this I can’t make you fully happy.” You bit your lip. “Usually I don’t curse but what?! This is bullshit Y/N!” “Come on, I know you want me to go with you…” “Yes, but it’s okay! I will just wait for you to be ready.” He insisted. “Hum…” you mumbled, not satisfied. “Listen.” He paused the TV. “I want you to come with me of course. Honestly, I want to bring you everywhere I go. But I’m not disappointed because of this. I’ll be glad to help you to be comfortable enough to go on a trip with me!” He explained. “Then I’ll do my best,” you smiled shyly. “Take your time, okay?” he kissed your hands. “Sure.”

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bellylivesthepoguelife · 3 years

Note

I don't have a problem with your support towards Elaine. The only thing I will say, you saying that you're not aware of the racist things someone has done (though there is proof on the internet), choosing to stay unaware of said things, and then supporting said person blindly is disgustingly ignorant. It shows nothing but a reflection of your blatant privilege, very disrespectful and insensitive to the Black community.

Okay, I will give you the benefit of the doubt here and say that I can understand a bit (maybe if I squint really hard) of where you’re coming from here given my comment of not knowing what it was exactly that she said.

However, I spent over 20 minutes on Instagram and Twitter trying to find examples of what she’s said to educate myself enough to respond to this, and I couldn’t find anything besides a plethora of people wanting to burn her at this girl at the stake.

Now, I realize that this doesn’t resolve the issue you brought up, so I had a friend of mine send me the screenshots of the posts that everyone references.

And I’m going to stand by everything that I said in my previous post. Were the things that she said racially insensitive? Yeah. But I’d like to bring up another aspect of these that no one seems to want to talk about, and this is my biggest issue with this whole thing:

The date of the tweet that posted a screenshot of one of the comments was July 15, 2021. The comments in the screenshots were posted 256 weeks previous. (The second screenshot comments were 235 weeks.) We’re talking 4.5 - 4.9 years before the July post date that the comments were posted. That would’ve been, what, 2015? Elaine would’ve been what, 20 years old at the time?

I don’t know about y’all, but I would HATE for someone to pass judgement on me for things that I said when I was 20, because I have grown out of those toxic, and insensitive frames of mind. I’m the same age as Elaine, and, again, while I don’t know her personally and can’t speak for her, I can say from experience that 20-25 is a HUGE period of learning, growth, and transitioning your thoughts and opinions from those that you grew up with into your own.

Please, hear me: I am in no way defending what she said. But I think it’s still unfair and downright hateful to be calling for this girls head, and removal from her job for things that she said YEARS ago, when she has so *CLEARLY* shown her growth from them.

This is the problem with this “cancel-culture” mentality, is that people want to completely ruin people’s lives for comments that were made YEARS previous. I will say again: people learn from their mistakes, people grown, adapt, and change. Do all people? No. Should people be held accountable for their actions? Yes, absolutely. But in Elaine’s case (especially when she IS so vocal about current issues, and activism on her instagram page) shows that she’s genuine, and cares about educating herself on REAL issues that are effecting REAL people. And if you’re going to say “iT’S jUsT a fRoNT”, no matter what her intentions are, she’s raising awareness. You can’t negate that fact no matter how much you want to. And I just so happen to believe that it’s genuine.

You can read my initial post here.

#elaine chats #protect elaine #rulaine #rulaine protection squad #rudy x elaine protection squad

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gamergirluprising · 4 years

Text

(WARNING SENSITIVE INFO WILL BE DISCUSSED OR GIVEN. IF YOU CANNOT HANDLE INFO REGARDING SELF-HARM OR BULLYING I’D ADVISE YOU NOT TO READ ON. VIEWER DISCRETION IS ADVISED)

Hello, everyone, I’d like to share somethings that have urked me and outright surprise me when getting deeper and deeper into this whole shebang cause honestly, this is too much to NOT notice. If you're wondering what I am talking about I am referring to all the stuff I found out about Viv and the fact that she never truly seemed sorry for what she's done to said people based on what I have found out and what she's said in recent years.

Now you all may say "G, she said she's sorry and that's that. Don't bring up things that happened years ago or have been resolved." and look, man, I'd leave it alone if it was CLEAR that she was truly a person of her word, wasn't a hypocrite, and didn't cause 3 people to be suicidal and cause/know of witchhunts that she KNOWS happened and/or wanted to happen. You guys can like her all you want and defend her, but be sure they are good defenses, understand WHERE I am coming from, and be mindful of what I am saying. Don't just ignore everything she did just cause you THINK she's super nice or because she's your idol.

I will also emphasize that I wish for NO ONE to send any unnecessary hate or anything of the like to Viv. You don't stoop to someone else's level just cause they did some bad crap. I just wanted to say any of this, loud and clear, cause its straight facts that shouldn't be buried just cause she wants to hold onto her image the best she can. That isn't at all fair to those victims who have been wronged and had their names tainted over her destructive and mean-spirited hypocritical behavior. AGAIN DO NOT ATTACK VIV AND DON'T THINK ME CALLING HER OUT IS A REASON TO HATE HER. We can be better than her in terms of handling things. Do not also think me calling her out shouldn't have been done JUST CAUSE you don't wanna hear it or not. If you don't wanna see it, you don't have to read it.

with that being said, LET'S DISSECT.

S T A R V A D E R

First I have to start off relaying to you guys what Starvader had stated at the beginning of the document so you'll get a jist of why she even spoke up in the first place.

"I type this document with no malicious intent only my personal thoughts on how I feel recently about the situation since its been on my mind well every day now since 2013. At least five years I’ve had thoughts below as to my personal experience of meeting an ex idol and why sometimes meeting your idol isn’t the best approach. For me, that ex idol is Vivienne Medrano creator of Zoophobia and Hazbin Hotel. I’m not aiming to defame this creator nor do I think people should stop liking their work or stop supporting them. If you like their work there is nothing wrong with that but I will refuse to silence myself any longer due to how much this rarely leaves my mind and tends to come up. This has been a situation swept under the rug and most would probably state ‘ well why are you bringing all this up now it was so and so years ago you guys squashed this etc etc “ that being the case, sorry doesn’t fix emotional trauma that comes up frequently during depressive episodes and comments do tend to stick to people in a certain way. Apology or not, words have a heavy weight to them."

I put this here even though I will be putting a link to her doc because people will most likely not read or press the link and just act as if Starvader wanted blood. No, she stated her mind and was clear when saying she wanted no harm done to Viv.

https://docs.google.com/document/d/e/2PACX-1vRX8VEoTS7Xot7D9u5i7MMEgtT44mNEtgpl4FY7QDZCA7ZY2j-CTJF7Uw_JwSJ6WUQNVvaTQv60Igte/pub

In this link It tells anyone who comes across it what she and some others mentioned here had to go through when being compared by Viv, wanting to do what's right and still being "called out" and bullied while getting hate sent to them, and having been told how her dreams would never ever be achieved and that she should practically give up, how she put friends against one another, etc. It showcases screenshots of these examples.

It all began with the accusation of art theft. The very thing she played the victim in with someone else. I'm sure some of you old-time fans of Viv know who this person was and are aware of the beef they had with one another. After reading Starvader's Doc, I want you to look at the post Vivziepop made to defame someone known as

D O L L C R E E P

This may be a throwback to you and you all may have thought this person was abusive. I won't say that they did absolutely nothing wrong since they themselves have said they did some wrong in the situation, but I will say that one was more of a problem starter than the other.

http://web.archive.org/web/20151008172207/http://enoughisenough-dollcreep.tumblr.com/post/125101370456/my-experience-with-dollcreep

Notice in this post that the very things she did to Starvader she said DollCreep did to her and how she tries and paint DollCreep as this SEVERELY abusive person. Hell even in Starvader's document you'll see that DollCreep told SV that he talked with Viv about the whole thing regarding SV and Viv and she apparently listened at the time. Not to mention that the screenshots Viv put in that post were either take(very possibly) taken out of context or not even bad to begin with (though his reply about the face thing was odd and shouldn't have been addressed b but due to circumstances, I think that's why he was so cautious). I don't know DC like that, but this kinda makes me feel as though he wasn't a bad person Viv makes him out to be and more her trying to destroy his image ENTIRELY for her benefit, cause till this very day she still calls him an abuser and someone she doesn't want to meet again.

if you continue on into the post she made, you'll see that she has made characters, EERILY SIMILAR to DC's, some WAY MORE than others. SV was willing to change some of the designs and even wanted to stop, Viv, however, seemed to take great offense over such an accusation and took to social media to make her frustrations known. SV kept this hidden from 2013 to 2018.

Oh btw, if you read the doc you'll see that SV wanted to commit suicide. DC actually attempted it. The cyberbullying ran that deep and it ANGERS me.

here’s what someone who saw the sitch had to say.

https://web.archive.org/web/20170619163024/http://dcs-personal-blog.tumblr.com/

can find everything here regarding what DC said about the sitch. You guys DO NOT ATTEMPT TO HURT THIS PERSON. It actually pisses me off that people even attacked DC and blindly believed Viv. It’s Johnny Depp’s situation all freaking over again

Here’s the picture of Viv saying that he was abusive, completely ignoring her behavior, and knowing hate would be sent to DC. Again won’t say that DC was completely innocent but damn man, was this necessary? DC even said that they talked it out and everything

https://vivziepop.tumblr.com/post/179705403534/im-only-going-to-say-this-once

Don’t even get me started on the whole character credit fiasco that Viv refused to properly fix.

https://krieg-was-taken.tumblr.com/post/101438542866/dollcreep-kibadoglover45-dollcreep-even

Look at this as well.

https://web.archive.org/web/20200104224648/https://tyacutie123.tumblr.com/post/125800399071/beware-of-abusive-artist

it mentions SV again, but it also brings into light a parody character meant to mock DC during all of this drama.

https://killapunk.tumblr.com/post/125896144245/dcs-personal-blog-enoughisenough-dollcreep/amp

DollCreep does the same thing back and is treated like the enemy. Hypocrisy at its finest.

now, most of you guys will be saying that this all happened in the past. It’s over, some will say, She’s changed (some of you may even say that these people deserve it. Yes people actually have said stuff like this to me or others) but here’s the problem, She still pulls crap like this to ruin people or to make others feel stupid. Just last year she was laughing with JaneGumball (who APPARENTLY made up with the victim) saying that she deserves it for being rude when the girl just said her opinion and was still a fan of Viv at the time, meaning she didn’t even mean to hurt Viv’s feelings and, hear me out, even if she did WHY FIND HER CYBERBULLYING FUNNY AND JUSTIFIED OVER AN OPINION? What sort of logic is that? That’s GREATLY immature and unnecessary, especially for someone her age (She’s 27 or 28 guys while the victim was 15, come on man!)

and I’m sure some of you know what happened with the person who made a meme regarding HH and other animated cartoons.

She’s VERY MUCH AWARE THAT THEY WERE ATTACKED....and this is how she responds....wow O K A Y.

So no, she didn’t actually change because she most likely didn’t think she had to. People kept supporting her thus making her believe that what she did was correct. Oh and Faust is practically Viv as well. (As seen by the SV doc and this tweet thread)

https://twitter.com/melonbea/status/1206994000563068930?s=19

Hell Viv seemed to ignore this too, as well as a lot of shipping drama if it involves a specific ship, but I won’t delve too deep into that subject since I am not very aware of the things that go down in that side of the fandom.

and there’s this

https://afraidofmonsters-headcanons.tumblr.com/post/188662798256/so-lets-talk-about-this-blog-the-fandom-and-viv

and this

https://historia-kq.tumblr.com/post/190882421127

I’d advise you guys to hear these things out.

Oh and Viv is the type to be a Hypocrite regularly,

https://twitter.com/VivziePop/status/613097846603026433?s=19

I could send you all the screenshots of her tweets but that should be another post on its own cause THERE IS A LOT. Like her Cancel Culture tweet, that tweet where she said, and I quote, “The hypocrisy is strong” back in 2014, November 29th. That time she had a thread of tweets saying, and I quote “never let someone dictate your value as an artist! Never seek the approval of someone else and conform to what they say you should do!” Despite doing this to StarVader.

If you guys want screenshots I can either personally DM or make a post showing her hypocrisy. Cause honestly this is rather, dare I say it, TOXIC. She’s manipulated people and has used them when they don’t abide by her rules or make a mistake that could have been resolved privately, she attacks and it’s saddening. I am TIRED of people getting hurt by her and I am tired of her abusing her power. If she wants to change I am COMPLETELY DOWN for that, but change starts when you want it. You can’t say sorry and expect people not to see past the lies or see that you obviously didn’t change. Sorry should mean what it means, feeling regret or penitence, but if you don’t at all exhibit these things then how are we supposed to believe that you are at all sorry for anything you’ve done currently AND in the past? I mean damn dude did you guys even know what happened to the cosplayer that Viv was mad about?

https://boricua-moonbakery.tumblr.com/post/616407364553310208

Now look, if you like Viv’s content, that’s your choice. I for one very much do like some fan content that i’ve stumbled onto and find some very creative and my cup of tea and while I’m not a huge fan of HH I still very much find the premise very creative. What I do if a creator of something is majorly sketch or strange I simply seperateb the content from the creator. I simply wanted to point out things many peeps don’t know about and any person who is a fan of Viv, I hope you’d at least understand WHY I am at all saying anything I am saying. I want there to be justice but I want things to be fair. I don’t want Viv to get hurt, but I want her to actually learn from her mistakes. I am not here to discourage you from anything, it’s your choice if you choose to stay and I will not judge you for it. I am a girl who SIMPLY wants people to be more aware of who exactly Vivienne Medrano is. She’s mistreated both fans of HH and ZP and it boggles me.

If you guys want more info, like her tweets that I mentioned, just message me.

END OF DISSECTION

#hazbin hotel #vivziepop #vivziemind #vivziepop drama #vivziemind drama #vivienne medrano #vivienne medrano drama #cyberbullying #hypocrisy #Trigger warning #tw #content warning #vivziepop critique

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eddiemunsonssoulmate · 4 years

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Make love, not war: The anti- OBX drama edition

Okay kids, listen up.

I’m too old for all of this drama and I’ve been on this hellsite for way too long to just keep watching it in silence so this is gonna be my only, long ass post about this mess that has occured/is occuring. I’m trying to get my thoughts out and and maybe talk some sense into the last three braincells some people have left.

These are my thoughts. My opinion. It’s totally fine if you disagree but if you feel strongly offended or called out by this, you might be part of the problem.

I’ve been watching the drama for a while now and normally I’m just someone who’s on the quiet side, grabbing a box of popcorn and watching how y’all tear each other to pieces but seriously?

Some of you really need to get a life.

Fandom life isn’t always easy, fandom life can be messy, some people are not what they seem, yadda yadda.

But seriously, did you lose all the respect you had when you’ve signed up on this website or social media in general?

First: The Rudy “drama”

Someone, a really sweet and nice to everyone person, stated a theory based on an anon ask who based their ask on a social media website. A theory. A worst case scenario of what might have happened. They wanted to be nice and answer to every anon they’re getting but guys.

Guys.

It was a theory. A mere idea of what might have happened because someone asked, nothing else. It was not facts, there was no evidence and the ask that caused all of this was not based on facts either. It can totally be fun to speculate about things. You’re allowed to believe what you want. Rudy’s a dick, Rudy’s a sweet angel, Rudy is a blue alien in disguise, everyone is allowed to have an opinion on something but oh my god.

Don’t make facts out of theories.

Don’t look at three emotes and be like “oh my god they have to be dating!”

Don’t make a drama out of two actors not liking each other’s posts on Instagram like what the heck.

When did Social Media take over your life so much that you interpret everything in those little things? There’s a real life out there, ya know?

We don’t know anything for a fact so let it go. Wait until someone says something official which probably won’t happen.

More importantly, stay out of actors' private lives as much as you can. Seriously. You’re welcome to state your opinion about them, make theories, stuff like that but tbh, it’s better to stay out of it because at the end of your day, it’s none of our business. Celebrity stalking is not and never will be cool. Don’t waste your time and energy of trying to figure something out they clearly don’t want you to see. Best example for this are like, baby news.

I know it can be exciting to figure stuff out. I know you can be totally curious because you like that person and want to find things about their life but don’t blow it out of proportion.

Actors are humans. Actors are not their characters. They have their own private life and if they want to share, that’s cool. If not, then that’s also cool. And tbh, the OBX cast is feeding us a lot more way more than other actors from other shows/movies, god bless them.

But who the fuck do you think you are that you’re sending them, the actors or the people talking about it, hate based on a simple theory on a website that has a life on it’s own and things that happen on here should stay on here? That’s not cool, it’s a shame for other people in the fandom. Why would you want to make a person feel bad because I’m pretty sure you wouldn’t like to feel this way either.

They’re grown ups, they can do what they want. You don’t have to like it but for the love of god:

Have some respect for a human being.

Second: The Chase Thing aka #chasestokespartyisover

That last sentence totally applies here too.

Have respect for a human being.

Boy made a tweet over ten years ago where he said something that was problematic. Was that cool? No. Did he apologize? Yes. Is it time to let it go? Totally. Was his hacking excuse true or not? WE DON’T KNOW.

You know what’s not cool tho? Some people taking their time to scroll down TEN YEARS AND MORE on a timeline to get some tea on them that you can use and complain about.

I know quarantine can get boring but jfc guys. There are more things to life than obsessing over an actor, ya know.

We all said shit in our youth, that’s a fact but people change. They grow. Don’t compare a teenage boy with a grown ass man.

You know what’s also totally 100% not acceptable? People photoshopping fake screenshots to show what a big mean white boi Chase is, trying to fuel the fire of hate. What the fuck is wrong in those minds?

Cancel Culture is a toxic phenomenon that should be the only thing getting canceled. You can’t cancel people, ya know. It’s fucking toxic to say something like that and just...don’t, man. I barely have any words left to describe this stupid thing.

Make love, not war. Spread love, not hate.

Fandom is not a place to rip each other to pieces. Not everything in this world is about race, sex/gender or problematic things. Just because someone doesn’t reblog a lot about Madison it’s mostly not because of racism or because she’s queer. Sure, that’s probably the case for some people but you know, those people aren’t worth it then.

Fandom is not a place that should spread hate around, especially not on anon, sending people asks filled with hate. There’s a bunch of younger kids on here, especially in the OBX fandom from what I’ve seen so far and it’s not okay to tell a 15 year old girl to tell her to go kill herself because she likes Rudy more than JD or shit like that. It’s never okay to something like that but it hits the younger ones even harder. Maybe it’s their first fandom and people ruin that experience on the spot, feeling powerful while on anon.

Fandom should be a place where we come together and have fun. Make friends and share things. Gifset, fanfics, theories about the new season, things like that. It should be a place to freak out over new teasers, new pictures from the set, the cast sharing stuff on their platform of choice and just things we enjoy.

There are different ways to block and blacklist on Tumblr, especially if you’re using it in a browser on your laptop/pc. Use that to block toxic people, tags you don’t wanna see and create your own little bubble where you’re happy in. Do this in case you feel uncomfortable with some people around here, so you only see what makes you happy.

Please remind yourself about the fact that behind all those blogs, there are real people. People who all have their own lives, own opinions, own ideas. Same goes for actors. They’re not there for your personal entertainment, they don’t have to share their complete private life with you. They’re human, just like you and me and it’s unacceptable to send them hate, no matter what they’ve done. You don’t have to like them but keep it to yourself or talk about it with friends, I don’t give a shit but leave it out of their sight.

Please remind yourself that we want to have a good time here and especially during times like these where we spend more time on here than we probably should *laughs*

If you made it to the end, thank you for your attention and taking your time and remember:

Be nice to each other, the world is cruel enough.

-Captain out.

#outer banks #obx #obx netflix #rudy pankow #chase stokes #madison bailey #jonathan daviss #madelyn cline #drew starkey #obx cast #this is just a massive brain dumb with lots of swearing lmao

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hitchell-mope · 3 years

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You know what I’d like to see one day?

For people to understand, for a change, that values are constantly in flux and something that was deemed acceptable a decade or even a year ago may well be seen as prejudiced now. I saw a post calling to cancel dr Seuss and it annoyed me. The man was pro choice for gods sake. And yes. All these great, dead people were a product of their time. Most were racist or sexist or homophobic. And it doesn’t surprise me that they were. But, to me at least, people need to chill with this cancel culture bs or there’ll be no history to learn from because they’ll have blocked out and banned every history book on grounds of cultural sensitivity.

I know I’m sounding derivative but I keep coming back to friends as an example. Everyone on here goes on about how Carol and S*san should’ve been mains instead of Ross. But it wasn’t about them was it. They got their singular spotlight episode which is so much more than what they deserved. And does anyone actually understand how pioneering it was to have a lesbian wedding be the main plot of a sitcom episode in the 90’s? Ross has every reason to want to try and ruin it. But in the end he doesn’t. In the end he walks the ex that cheated and left him for the other woman down the aisle. Do you know how rare that was back then?

Then there’s Chandler and his father. Yes it’s horribly annoying that his trauma gets brushed aside as funny when his parents should logically be arrested for child abuse since from his memories they slept with multiple people in front of him. And they never really say if Helena is a transgender woman or a drag queen (yet again. It’s the 90’s people) but he’s still urged to be close to them. And yes. Helena is still seen as funny. But she’s still treated as a person despite some awkwardness. They try to be ok with Helena and it’s seen their problem and not hers

Bottom line. Cancelling something from years ago just because you found part of it prejudiced isn’t the way to go about it. Be critical of it sure. It’s not a crime to want better representation. I want that too. But cancelling everything you don’t agree with because it’s old and not up to your values isn’t the way to go about it. Because like I said. If you get rid of history because you don’t agree with it then there’ll be nothing left to learn from. You know?

#me #about me #personal #dr seuss #anti cancel culture #values dissonance

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ashintheairlikesnow · 4 years

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Dad Fluff: Bad Day

CW: Chronic pain, referenced past torture, Mina is sickeningly cute, and all of the things she does in here are things I have personally witnessed a four year old doing. (I was actually the four year old who did one of the things in this piece - guess which one!)

Danny is busy pitying himself when he hears Mina wake up down the hall. He’d had this idea of what parenting would be like, and lying in bed with agonizing pain ripping up and down his back isn’t it.

Instead, as he’d waited and waited for them to be matched with a birthmom, Danny had pictured waking his daughter (or son - they hadn’t known which the baby would be, yet) with homemade breakfast.

He’d seen himself as being already on his second cup of coffee, settling down at the kitchen table to watch tiny legs swing on chairs too tall.

Danny had pictured asking his child what they had dreamed about the night before, and lying about his own nightmares with ease by then. Never letting on that when his baby needed a nightlight, he still did, too.

Some days - most days, even, he tries to be honest with at least himself - he is exactly the father he wanted to be. But then there are days like today, where his four year old daughter starts singing to herself in her room down the hall and Danny can’t get up to greet her.

“Hosanna, hey-sanna, sanna superstar,” Mina sings brightly in the joyful off-key caterwauling of very young children, and Danny finds a smile. It’s faint and faded and it doesn’t last, as a new spike of pain rips up the right side of his back where a knife once broke off inside him, but he decides to count that one single smile as his first victory for the day.

He should have told Nate to call off class, he really should have, but… the thing was, Nate’s been working on this lecture he’s really excited about - something something World War I and horror in popular culture, there’s a book, something something there’s always a book - forever and his students are all hyped up for it and Danny having a bad back doesn’t seem like a reason to ruin everyone else’s day, too.

It felt like doing the right thing then - pretending to be peacefully asleep while Nate quietly got ready and let himself out the front door after putting Toto out in the fenced-in yard - but in the moment it means Danny lying in bed, in the dark he tells himself he no longer fears because he’s in too much pain to turn on the light, waiting for his daughter to give up waiting on him to come to her room and come looking for him herself.

“Hey-sanna, hosanna, sanna superstar,” Mina sings, and then there’s a pause. Danny closes his eyes against the angry tears, tries to tell himself to stand, but when he moves his legs his back screams at him to stay still and he gives up, letting out a soft, half-broken sob.

“Daddy?” Mina calls. He can hear the sound of her turning the doorknob, the soft sound of the door opening up. “Daddy? Do you hear me singing?”

“Yes, baby,” He manages, his deep voice hoarse and a little cracked. “I’m… I’m in my room, Mina, honey. Can… can you, um, come here?”

Silence, and then the padding of tiny footsteps down the hall, until his own bedroom door slowly opens. He can close his eyes and picture her going up on her toes to turn on the light, and the sudden brightness soothes something that is always jagged in Danny in the dark.

Grown man, afraid of the dark, Abraham whispers in the back of his mind, never quite gone, the ghost that left a parting gift of pain. My fingers never leave your mind.

Around the side of the little dresser his daughter peeps at him and Abraham’s voice is gone as quickly as it came. Mina chases all his ghosts away.

She’s wearing her matching unicorn pajamas that are probably too small by now, but he can’t bear to make her give them up. Her hair is a halo of textured black curls around her head - Danny is supposed to give her back her braids, today, the ladies down at the salon they go to showed Danny and Nate how to take care of hair so very different than their own

He can’t braid her hair if he can’t fucking sit up.

Mina takes him in with wide brown eyes, the largest feature in her tiny round face. She’s starting to lose the toddler babyfat but only just, and the resemblance to his own younger brother in the first days Danny was adopted is… uncanny, sometimes.

Like now, when Mina looks at him and knows what she is looking at.

“You didn’t turn on the light,” She says, softly. “You don’t have your light on the wall. Are you sick?”

“I’m… I’ll be okay, honey. I just have, um, my back hurts… pretty bad today. I thought I’d handle it, but…” He groans without meaning to, it feels like so much energy just to talk. “I’m so sorry, honey. I’m not… not gonna be much of a daddy today.”

Mina frowns at him, her big brown eyes locked on his.

It isn’t supposed to be like this.

Abraham found a way to leave him one last goddamn gift, a present he never unwrapped or asked for and would do anything to give back.

“I’ll get your phone,” Mina says seriously, and comes further in, dragging RiffRaff behind her, the stuffed giraffe with a neck long enough to approach pure absurdity. A gift from Ryan, one among many.

She moves quickly across the floor with her little bare feet padding, a flash of brown stomach showing as her too-small shirt rides up. She has to stretch up again to pull Danny’s cell phone down from the bookshelf, and he watches her, thinking, by next year you won’t have to go on your toes, by two years you won’t want me to be the first thing you see any longer, by thirteen you’ll be slamming doors in my face, will I still be lying here with my back refusing to let me be the parent I wanted to be for you?

“Sad Daddy face,” Mina says, slapping the cell phone down next to him. “Dad would poke your nose.”

“He would,” Danny says, and manages a small smile. “Honey, I’m trying, but I think we have to call Dad back home from work. I can’t… I can’t get out of the bed. I’m sorry, Mina, but it’s not… it’s not gonna work today.”

“Yes it can,” Mina says, with a stubborn set to her jaw she gets from Nate, not that Nate has ever noticed he does it. Danny finds a small smile, at the sight. Adopted or not, Mina is Nate Vandrum’s daughter through and through - already reading some words, already curling up with a book to turn the pages and make up stories about the pictures she sees on the page. Already a serious little girl, a tiny adult.

“I don’t see how,” Danny replies, shifting minutely in the bed, just trying to move onto his side, hissing when his back protests once again.

“We do like when I get sick,” Mina says, softly. “I can open the fridge all by myself and my stuffies and my loveys can sit with us and we can do like when I’m sick.” She considers, and he sees a sudden gleam of mischief in her. “I can have my screen?” She asks, sidling a little closer to the bed.

Danny swallows, and looks down at his cell phone. It’s 7:30 in the morning. The lecture Nate has been planning for happens for his 10 AM class, and he can move his office hours maybe if Danny gives him enough notice to put up a sign…

Hey Nate, he texts, keeping his eyes on Mina, who watches his texting with interest and a clearly increasing certainty that she is going to get exactly what she wants out of this. Bad back day. Fine rn but cn you come home after lecture plz?

“Gonna get to watch princesses,” Mina says, with evident delight. “And eat Lunchables.”

“Sssshhhh,” Danny says, but he can’t quite hold back his own smile in response to his daughter’s. “Daddy being sick isn’t supposed to be something you look forward to, baby.”

His phone vibrates in his hand and he glances down.

Danny, please use full words, that drives me up the wall when you type like that.

“I can’t believe you took the time to write that out,” Danny mutters to himself, but his smile widens even more. He can feel the stretch of scar tissue along his nose and jaw, even this long after Abraham’s death the marks are there, fading but never gone. “Mina, only your Dad uses correct punctuation in his f-... his text messages.”

“Writing is important,” Mina recites in her best impersonation of Nate, pitching her voice hilariously low. Danny laughs out loud despite the way the motion seems to stab whole new little daggers up and down his spine. He’ll be damned if he’ll let a little agony stop him from appreciating his daughter.

Another message comes in and he glances down.

I’ll be home by 12:30. Bringing ramen from the place you like and gyoza for Mina. Do you want me to just cancel and come home now?

No, fine. Just after lunch is good.

Whether Nate believes him or not, he doesn’t know, but he drops back to lay his head down on the pillow, watching Mina watch him right back. “Okay, honey. Dad will be home after lunch. So we just have to… to make this work for a few hours, okay?”

“Okay, Daddy. I’ll be right back.” With that, Mina throws RiffRaff onto the bed next to Danny and goes running back out. All he can do is lay there, feeling spectacularly useless, while he listens and hopes that she isn’t taking this moment to color on all the walls or break a bunch of things or learn how to set the house on fire.

When she finally returns, she is dragging her small travel suitcase - the one with some kind of cartoon character whose name he can’t remember - behind her like an overworked flight attendant at the end of a long day. “Okay… Daddy…” Mina says, comically out of breath. “I brought… everything.”

He realizes she never actually zipped the suitcase when she simply overturns the whole thing and Danny stares, trapped on the bed, as it opens up and dumps a chaotic mixture of toys and food and her favorite blankets onto his bedroom floor.

“Jesus Christ, Mina,” Danny whispers, eyes wide.

“Jesus Christ, Superstar,” Mina sings happily in response. Not a single note is on key, and Danny thinks maybe adoption doesn’t matter and Mina is his child too. “Do you think you’re what they say you are? Okay, Daddy, I got… I got us stuff for sick. Can I get up on the bed with you?”

Danny looks at the roughly mound-shaped pile of things on the floor, then slowly up at his daughter. “Can we… can we do something about all your stuff first?”

“It’s your stuff, too. Look!” Mina digs into the pile with enthusiasm, and the first thing she pulls out is Danny’s bottle of pain medication.

Hi, I’m Daniel Michaelson, and my baby brings me my fucking pain meds. Pin the medal on the father of the fucking year.

“Oh my God,” Danny whispers. Someone is going to psychically know this happened and he’ll lose her, and he can’t lose her, not because of his stupid back, not because of goddamn Abraham fucking Denner-

“I pushed a chair up to the counter and climbed up and got in the special cupboard,” Mina says seriously, giving him the bottle. He takes it with shaking fingers, his heart so gripped with guilt it’s like it has to work harder to beat. “Where you keep medicine. I can open the lock now and I put my feet in the sink!”

Danny is going to hell for being a bad father, he knows it. He knows it, and he knows your four-year-old stood in your sink to dig out your fucking pills, you fucking whiner is going to be the first thing the Devil says to him.

Maybe he’ll get to suffer right next to Abraham.

Maybe Abraham’s the demon set to make him sorry for everything all over again.

“Daddy, stop,” Mina says, looking a little nervous at the look on Danny’s face. “Dad always gets you medicine when your back is bad. Am I in time-out?”

“Um. Uh… no, honey. Just… just don’t do that, um, again. And don’t ever, ever tell Dad you know how to get into the medicine cabinet. Okay?”

“Okay.” Mina drops back down to the pile, and brings up a small bottle of the cold brew they buy in a pack of six at the store. She hands that to Danny, too, taking to her work with perfect seriousness. All he can do is watch her as he swallows two pills dry and then washes them down with the coffee.

There.

An hour, and he’ll be able to move around in the bed, at least, even if he’ll still hurt too badly to get all the way up. His back is like that - on bad days you can’t get rid of the pain, only make it a little less debilitating. Most bad days he can keep himself moving through sheer momentum, and everyone tells him he must be feeling better and he doesn’t know how to tell them that his baseline changed, back when Abraham first held him captive - he and Nate in the woods in Canada.

Long before the blade broke off in his back, there were days of bruises, battering, and beating. He starved and never slept and hurt like hell.

People think pain ebbs and flows, but the tide is never fully out for Danny. There is always a whisper of oceanwater promising a later tsunami.

While he lays there watching her, Mina picks out her stuffies and loveys, one by one, and begins to lay them throughout the bed. In the backyard, distantly, Danny hears Toto barking - the high-pitched bark that means he’s treed something again. At least somebody is having fun, Danny thinks.

“Okay, Daddy,” Mina says, laying a series of stuffed animals carefully around his head and lightly against his shoulders as he forces himself to shift onto his back on the bed, closing his eyes against the way the pain drains all the blood from his face and his fingers, leaving everything cold and numb as it’s his spine where the nerves light up in fire. “You can have RiffRaff today, and Mister Bones, and Zombie Monkey, and She-Ra, and Ugly, and Bo. I’m going to keep the rest.”

Danny takes a deep breath. “Honey, did you leave any of your animals in your room?”

“No,” Mina answers with a shrug. She clambers back down and comes back with her tablet, which she smacks down a little too hard on Danny’s stomach. He winces and hisses, and her eyes go wide. “Oh, your tummy is sick? I’m sorry, Daddy.”

“N-No, baby, it’s okay. It’s… yikes. I’ll pull a, um, a movie up for you, okay?”

“Princess movie!”

“Can we… watch literally anything else, baby?”

Mina juts her lower lip out and sets her jaw. “Princess movie, Daddy.” She says, stubbornly. When Danny responds with silence and a raised eyebrow, she lets the pout go and gives him a disarming, charming smile instead. “I mean, Daddy-can-I-please-watch-princesses?” She asks, batting her eyelashes and everything, the words all run together the way she always does when she has to ask nicely.

Danny sighs, but it’s with a smile on his face. “Yeah, okay, honey. What else do you have on the floor?”

“Um, some toys, and… this!” Mina holds up two matching Lunchables in the air like she’s declaring victory.

Honestly, she probably is.

“Lunchables for breakfast, huh?” Well, there are worse things in the world, Danny thinks to himself. At least it’s not drugs, right? Yeah, there’s a good bar for good parenting, whether or not your four year old prefers Lunchables or… cocaine or something.

“I need these fucking pills to kick in,” Danny mutters, not realizing he’s speaking out loud until Mina turns to look at him, wide-eyed.

“Daddy,” She says, sounding absolutely scandalized. “You’re not supposed to say that word anymore, Dad said-”

“I know what Dad said,” Danny says, gesturing carefully with one arm, moving as few of his back muscles as possible to do it. “Climb on up here, honey. Let’s do Lunchables. I’ll put a dollar in the jar when I can stand up, okay?”

She nods and climbs up with him. Danny carefully opens the Lunchables for her with his teeth gritted. There’s another thing they didn’t tell him, before it was his life - that sometimes even doing tiny things like tearing the perforated opening off the side of a cardboard Lunchables box could hurt so badly. People think they know what a backache is.

They don’t know.

But then Mina takes the Capri Sun and puts it aside and makes herself a tiny ham-and-cheese sandwich using the little cracker in the box, and some of Danny’s stubborn self-pity starts to slide away, eroded by her cheerful smile. “Elsa with the water horse?” She asks. “Can we do that princess movie?”

“Frozen 2,” Danny corrects absently, scanning through the Disney movies on the tablet with casual swipes of his finger. She never asks for the new princess movies, only the ones from before she was born. Once the movie starts, the sound small and tinny coming from the tablet, Danny settles himself back against the pillows and hands her the screen. She pulls out his arm - he holds back the sounds of pain at the stretch of muscle - and then snuggles in against his side, pulling RiffRaff back into her own lap, her fuzzy black hair brushing softly against the roughened scar tissue on Danny’s neck.

He manages to turn his head and kiss her, on the top of her head. “Just a few hours until Dad gets home,” Danny whispers. “I’m so sorry, baby. I’ll be a better Daddy tomorrow.”

He hopes.

Mina is watching the opening previews and doesn’t look at him or even seem to hear what he said.

By ten, Danny’s been able to get up and use the bathroom, at least, and brush his teeth. That’s his second victory, he decides, in a day where they don’t come easy.

Around eleven, right in the middle of Nate giving the lecture he’s been working so hard on, Danny and Mina fall asleep listening to The Princess and the Frog, a firefly singing to the evening star.

Nate comes home at half past noon with the ramen in hand. He sets it down on the kitchen table and lets Toto back in, the scruffy shelter dog all wagging tails and half-wild jumps. Nate gets him slowly calmed down, and listens. “D-Danny? You around?”

Nothing.

“Mina? Baby? Where are you and D-Daddy?”

Still nothing. Nate frowns - Danny hadn’t answered his text asking what kind of ramen he wanted, and he’d thought maybe Danny was playing with Mina in the toyroom and hadn’t heard - but when he checks, they aren’t in there either.

Finally, he heads upstairs, and halfway up he realizes he can hear the tinny sounds of music coming from their bedroom. He stops in the doorway to stare down at a small, scattered pile of plastic horses, a tiny baby doll, dollhouse furniture, and at least one Pegasus next to his daughter’s suitcase for when they travel to see Danny’s parents.

There’s a soft exhalation, and he turns to look at his husband and daughter asleep on the bed.

The tablet has been discarded, off to the empty side of the king-sized bed. It’s still playing the menu for one of the Disney movies, although Nate can’t remember which one this menu screen is for.

Danny is on his side, with his knees curled, some of the age fallen off of his face His hair is a mess of bright red with hints of silver over his eyes - he’s had silvery strands in his hair since Alberta, the first time Abraham held him - and spread out across the pillows. His hands aren’t up to cover his head - he hasn’t done that in a few years now.

Instead, he has one hand curled up against himself, and the other arm flung over his sleeping daughter. Mina has her head under his chin, on her side as well, and her face is buried against his neck and his collarbone. The two of them breathe nearly in unison, and they are absolutely suffocating in Mina’s favorite stuffed animals and the remains of empty Lunchables packages.

Next to the bed, on the side table, is a half-drunk bottle of iced coffee and Danny’s pain medication. Nate swallows - Danny never takes pills until it’s so bad he can’t move or Nate forces him to. Too afraid, even now, that taking a few pills would lead him right back to relying on fuzzying up his mind to shake away the memories that still threaten when the room is dark.

Nate considers just closing the door and heading back downstairs to eat alone, but Toto comes barreling past his legs and runs into the room, taking a bodily leap onto the bed, all forty pounds of him trying to wriggle between Danny and Mina to try and lick both their faces at once.

Danny jerks awake, eyes fluttering and blinking rapidly, pushing instinctively back Mina groans and rolls over, scooting away, trying to slip right back to sleep the way kids sometimes do.

“H-Hey, Toto,” Danny slurs, getting his hands on the excited dog and gently moving him back. “Hey, bud, how did you get inside…”

“I let him in,” Nate says softly, and Danny turns to look at him. His face is pale and drawn, but the smile when he greets Nate is real.

“Oh, hey,” Danny says, pushing himself up onto his elbows. “Sorry to call you home early, I just-... it’s just not a good day for my back. Mina and I decided to… to just take a break in here-”

“Danny, you’ve been in here all day, haven’t you?” Nate sighs. “Don’t l-lie to me.”

“It’s fine,” Danny says, shaking his head. Mina groans again, but her eyes are open now, and she rolls back over. “It’s fine, I’ll do better tomorrow, I’ll… I’ll try harder-”

“Danny,” Nate says, firmly, and it’s only then that Danny seems to realize what he just said. His face pales a little more, making the healing muzzle scars stand out in a ring around his face. “You don’t h-have to. I don’t m-m-mind coming home.”

“Hello, Dad,” Mina says blearily, scooting back to Danny now that Toto is safely sitting far enough back to give her spot back to her, snuggling right back into him. “Did you bring food?”

“I d-did, honey. Have you and Daddy had fun this morning?”

Danny winces, guilt written clearly across his face. “I’ll be better tomorrow, I’ll do better, I can... can try harder-”

“Danny, stop it,” Nate says, a little more edged this time.

“We had so much fun, Dad,” Mina says cheerfully, and Danny turns to look at her, surprised. “We ate Lunchables for breakfast. I always want to and you never let me! And Daddy said a bad word so he has to put money in the jar again-”

“Hey, you said you wouldn’t tell,” Danny says with fake anger, and Mina makes a face at him until he smiles.

“And I got to have all my friends in your bed even though I’m not supposed to and we watched princess movies and I got to pick the movies and Daddy played Stuffy Fight with me!”

“So you d-did have fun,” Nate says gently, and Mina nods.

Danny sits back, closing his eyes briefly, and Nate watches the way his face stills, and knows he’s holding back emotion that wants to write itself there that he doesn’t want to show. Nate sits down, lightly resting on the side of the bed, and slides a hand behind Danny’s head, leaning in to give him a kiss.

“Don’t s-sell yourself short,” Nate says gently. “You’re a g-g-good dad, Daniel Michaelson. Even on b-bad days. But… call me n-next time. Listen to me. You’re a good dad.”

There’s a pause.

Then Mina leans slowly over and says, “I got Daddy’s pills down from the cabinet for him.”

Nate turns to look at her, blinking, as Danny groans and puts his hands up over his eyes. “Oh my God, Mina, I did not ask you and you promised not to tell-”

“Okay,” Nate says, with exaggerated patience. “I am going to pr-pretend I did not h-h-hear either of the things either of y-you just said, and go g-g-get the trays and our r-r-ramen and gyoza. Please n-n-never explain it to me. Ever.”

Danny nods without taking his hands down.

Nate gets all the way downstairs, gets the food settled on the TV trays, and Danny has slurped up his first bite of noodles when Nate finally sighs and says, “You know wh-what, I lied - I need to know exactly how you explain-”

“I didn’t tell Daddy until after I did it,” Mina says brightly, picking up the little fried dumpling with her fingers.

“... and there it is. Let’s eat b-b-before I panic, at l-least.”

“I know how to open the special lock! I can open under the sink now, too!”

“... okay, too l-late, I’m panicking now.”

#whump #I feel like I want to call this parenting whump #emotional whump #trauma recovery whump #tw: chronic pain #tw: references to past torture #original fiction #dad fluff #epilogue #mina vandrum #mina and her dads #writing #oblique references to things that haven't happened in the Bad Arc yet

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criminalhhaze · 3 years

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this is my hot take on the Lando situation whether you like it or not

before we start i’m feel like i need to say that in this blog we do not put drivers on a pedestal except for lewis jk we don’t, yes we can like a driver and still criticize them, cancel culture is toxic and all that tango we hear every week here but things are getting out of hand the way lando has been acting is nowhere near as bad on what happened with max, i don’t know people are comparing the two. but still needs to be discussed

like i said before i don’t know what kind of third world demon possessed that man but holy mother he is acting so childish, petty and dismissive of everything is like he’s a complete different person from the beginning of the year. “but ana we all change and make mistakes it’s life” i agree my fellow tumblr user but let’s do my favorite segment on this blog:

*game show music playing* whaaaaat if was another driver doing thaaat? *our crowd cheers as the contestants enters the stage*

let’s make up a little story here. actually i got this from twitter shout out to @/albertini_andre for the take. It’s 1993. the best driver in the world reaches 41 wins, brazilian record and world record. young Rubens Barrichello comes and says the same thing about senna... career ended.

no no let’s make it better let’s make it 2010 here, pretend alonso is the one who got all of the records lewis holds, carlos sainz comes and says “oh i don’t care it’s not the driver it’s the car” EVEN BETTER it’s a seb/charles situation... It’s a Checo/Lance situation... tell me how many people would be trying to excuse their words? and how many would be in front of their house throwing raw egg at their windows?

it’s not about “oh but x driver did something worse” bro if there is an issue we need to talk about it, this is respectful. Yeah he’s frustrated we all been there but it. doesn’t. excuse. anything. everything he said this weekend has been just petty and disrespectful. him more than anyone should know that it’s not just the car that makes a campion. he stays back to help clean up. he goes to the factory. he works with the mechanics. he knows better than this, frustration is not an excuse.

Let’s look at George for a minute. almost the same age. same generation. same year that he got in f1. drives the worst car on that grid. had his race ruined a lot because of others. has no points for the second year. might lose his seat. and what he does every week? He’s respectful, NEVER blames on his team for the bad results, NEVER make petty comments even when grosjean stamped him in a wall in italy, he congratulates his rivals and his friends for every little accomplish. he should be the most frustrated person on that grid but no he’s the most polite man around.

you know what he’s looking like, a 10 year old spoiled kid who didn’t get his way and now is taking his frustration in everything around him. he has his media team, mclaren did everything to make him comfortable, he knows what anxiety can look like he’s been there but he’s still making snarky comments over lance.

I don’t think it was worse than what max did and said in any way or form, but it doesn’t make it ok.

to finish this essay with a bang i’m quoting daddy wolff by what i remeber from the quote “drivers who says he’s winning because he drives a mercedes is the reason why they aren’t driving a mercedes”

mic drop and goodnight everyone

#fire away now #i didn't proofread this #i said what i said #and one more time #maybe it's the company he's keeping #maybe it's the frustration #maybe its maybelline #i don't know but he need to get it together and stay in his lane cause he's on thin ice with a lot of people #take a shot every time i said disrespectful #lando norris

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gastrobrack · 4 years

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Brave New World 2020 review from probably the biggest fan of the book you’ll meet in your life

(Mostly Spoiler Free) Okay so. I’ve been waiting for this show for a really long time because I absolutely love the book and it means a lot to me. My standards were admittedly pretty low because it can’t get worse than the 1998 movie, so I didn’t really mind when I saw the trailers and stuff where other people were complaining.

TL;DR I thought the show was actually pretty enjoyable, but you have to read the book first in my opinion, or else it seems like it would be hard to follow at times. Where the show really screwed up royally was Mond’s storyline, which felt completely out of place and confusing, and when it ended up dominating the end of the final episode it just kinda ruined the story for me. The show is definitely more focused on the setting and characters than the societal predictions and themes of the novel, and for me that’s okay because we have the book to tell it better anyways. I’d say watch it if you liked the book or are curious about it, but I don’t think it would really be enjoyable for the average viewer.

Side note: I watched this in the wee hours of the morning and some of the praise might just be the special interest talking, I’m just happy to be here and get more content

That being said, I think this show is like the Riverdale of Brave New World. However, in its defense it’s at least got the energy of the parts of Riverdale like the “epic highs and lows of high school football” and the “serial killer gene”, so it’s at least pretty funny. Personally, I knew that they would have to change a lot both to adjust for the longer runtime (around 9 hours) and to make the book enjoyable to a TV audience, because of course in the book you can have 2 chapters of exposition at the beginning and that’s not as enjoyable for a TV experience. So, let’s get into the pros and cons of the show!

PROS

-I really liked Bernard! In the book he means a lot to me personally (hell, I’m writing this while listening to my Bernard playlist) so I was of course kinda worried they might screw him up again like they did in the ‘98 movie, but I was pleasantly surprised! They did change him and divide his original personality between John and Lenina, but somehow they managed to create a new Bernard that both kept me on my toes and at the same time felt authentic and likeable!

-Honestly, almost all the characters were done very well. They were all expanded upon in an interesting way while also staying generally pretty accurate to their book counterparts. I generally felt the same about them as I did with the novel, so I think that means they did a job well done. I think that John and Lenina were very different, but they still ultimately had the same general motivations. A lot of the cast’s interactions felt very natural, and I liked that they expanded upon Lenina and Fanny’s (or Frannie as she’s called here) friendship.

-The show looked great, I know a lot of people really didn’t like the look of it because it wasn’t what they thought it would be when they read it, but for me that’s basically exactly what I imagined it would be. The costume designer clearly had fun making a bunch of outlandish outfits for everyone to wear and it’s all very pleasant to look at.

-I think they did a good job fixing some of the problematic elements of the book without actually damaging the integrity of the things they were changing. For example, in the book, the savage reservation is quite literally just a native reservation, written in a way that clearly suggests Huxley didn’t really put a lot of thought into his depiction of real people. In the show, it’s a theme park where British people get to immerse themselves in the cultures of the old world, with the savages themselves being poor theme park workers reenacting events to shock and mystify the Brits. Now, admittedly, I think this makes a lot more sense as it ties into the consumerism that runs deep within their society. I know some people are mad about this because they think it’s cancel culture or something but honestly it’s not a big deal to me.

-This one might not be as important to some people, but I liked that the cast was pretty diverse, and the fact that John is the only straight one honestly made sense to me considering it would be in the World State’s best interest to encourage bisexuality amongst its citizens. Some of the characters (Helmholtz and Mond) are being played by women, and some people are kinda upset about that but I don’t really think it changed too much, although to me it is funny to think the showrunner thought he was doing something by “casting women of color to play white male characters” considering everyone I know who read the book didn’t picture either of them as white.

-Honestly, I think the show did humor very well. It was very funny in a sort of dry way, and never felt forced or out of place. It all seemed like it naturally stemmed from the characters’ awkwardness and culture shock (on both sides) and it made me really happy as someone who loves all these characters to see them make me laugh.

CONS

-Now, I’m not usually one to complain about this too much, seeing as I love the book in a non thematic and academic context, but the message kinda got lost in all of it. I think the issues they brought up certainly were there, and could lend themselves very well to being good. The writers just focused on the entirely wrong things in the last episode, and that misguided focus completely changes the lens in which the rest of the show is retroactively viewed for me.

-Mustapha Mond was just, where do I even begin. In the book, Mond doesn’t show up much except to provide exposition, and his position as an authoritative figure ultimately moves the plot towards the end of the novel. In the show, Mond gets this weird AI plotline that makes no sense, as in this version they have a sort of internet contact lens type system that allows them to connect to everyone else, and it is powered by said AI. The system itself doesn’t bother me as much as how poorly handled this plotline was. Not only was it completely random and was the only plotline in the show not to have some sort of roots in the events of the book, but it was extremely confusing to me. This leads into my next point, which is:

-The ending. Oh my God the ending. Now, look. I’m not gonna say much because I want this to be as spoiler free as possible, but the ending just honestly was a dumpster fire. The writers chose to focus the whole ending on the aforementioned AI plotline, despite the book providing a much more solid framework for an ending that they already seemed to be setting up. This shift in focus comes very late into the final episode, and it honestly doesn’t make any sense why the writers would really want to go this route. It feels like they were just adding things that didn’t fit into the story, and I can’t really discern why except for the possibility of setting up an unnecessary second season. I love the book, it’s my special interest, but I think I speak for everyone when I say we do not need a second season especially if its gonna be full of plotlines that make no sense and serve no purpose. This heavily changed ending not only undermines the whole thematic purpose of the novel but honestly kind of goes actively against everything the book was trying to say in the first place.

-They really don’t set up any of the world building, and although I caught on very quickly due to my familiarity with the book, it seems like it might get confusing for unfamiliar watchers. In the book, they explain their process for birthing and then conditioning children into their social body very in depth before they get into the actual plot and characters, and I think this show could have used some of that. Here, they talk a lot about conditioning but don’t actually explain what the conditioning is or why they have the caste system in the first place.

-This is a minor disappointment more than anything and I didn’t actually notice till about the second episode, but there’s no more Ford talk, which is kinda disappointing cause it was pretty fun in the book.

-Obviously it goes without saying that there’s sex in this, I mean it IS Brave New World. However, in this one, it just feels excessive and kinda just like it’s there for shock value more than anything.

-This isn’t really a con so much as it is just a disclaimer, I know a lot of people are excited for Demi Moore as Linda and Joseph Morgan as the new character CJack60, but don’t get your hopes up too much, they don’t get to do much. If you read the book, you’d know that about Linda but I’ve seen reviewers get upset that she wasn’t in it more when she was one of the big names attached to the project. (FWIW she did a great job and I loved Linda in this whereas I didn’t in the book) As for CJack, he spends a lot of time just standing there and looking at things and doesn’t get to do much until the last 2 episodes or so.

CONCLUSION

As someone who really loves the book’s setting and characters sometimes even more than the actual messages and predictions, I’ve always wanted an adaptation that focuses more on those elements, especially since that would make for an easier transition to the screen. Seeing this was a very nice breath of fresh air, because it embraces the inherently satirical and dare I say funny aspect of the story, as well as the characters’ individual quirks and distinct personalities. Obviously it’s not as hard hitting and important as the book, but I think those messages were better left in book form anyway. For someone like me, who loves the book with all my heart, this show honestly gave me most everything I wanted and it felt the most true to the spirit of the book’s world and characters out of any of the adaptations. I would say check out the show if you’re interested in it or enjoyed the book, but you should definitely be familiar with the book before you watch this.

#brave new world #sorry this is so long #i pulled an all nighter to watch the show as soon as possible and im running on 2hrs of sleep #anyway stan bernard!

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pcwpolwrestling · 3 years

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PCW-The Return

How did we get here?

Extreme Election Night 2020 Preview December 27, 2020 Preview of PCW’s Extreme Election Night 2020 -15th Anniversary Celebration -The 2020 Year in Review -Donald Trump vs. Joe Biden

PCW’s Extreme Election Night 2020-Part One December 31, 2020 –Donald Trump and Joe Biden both interview for the PCW CEO position -ARIZONA SENATE MEDALLION MATCH: Martha McSally (American Patriots) vs. Mark Kelly (Progressive Alliance) -SOUTH CAROLINA SENATE MEDALLION MATCH: Lindsey Graham (American Patriots) vs. Jaime Harrison (Progressive Alliance) -PCW TAG TEAM TITLE MATCH: Jill Berg Enterprises: P.M.C. Banks and Kirk Walstreit (American Patriots) vs. The Green World Order: GreenPete and ‘Vengeful Vegan’ Brock Cole Lee (Progressive Alliance) vs. The Deplorables: ‘Red Solo Cup’ Ray McAvay and ‘Prairie Populist’ William Daniels Bryan (American Heartland Coalition)

PCW’s Extreme Election Night 2020-Part Two January 4, 2021 -ALABAMA SENATE MEDALLION MATCH: Tommy Tuberville (American Patriots) vs. Doug Jones (Progressive Alliance) -HOUSE WAR GAMES MATCH: Progressive Alliance vs. American Patriots -MICHIGAN SENATE MEDALLION MATCH: Gary Peters (Progressive Alliance) vs. John James (American Patriots) -MAIN EVENT #1/PCW WOMEN’S TITLE MATCH: Kathryn Randall Collins (Progressive Alliance) vs. ‘Alaskan Rogue’ Sierra Whalen (American Patriots) -MAIN EVENT #2/PCW TITLE MATCH: ‘Mr. Hollywood’ Kevin Daniels w/PCW CEO candidate Joe Biden, Aide de Camp candidate Kamala Harris (Progressive Alliance) vs. ‘Starz N. Stripes’ Kevin Scott w/PCW CEO Donald Trump, Aide de Camp Mike Pence (American Patriots) -Who will be named the new CEO of PCW? Donald Trump or Joe Biden.

Riot Breaks Out at PCW Show January 10, 2021 -‘Red Solo Cup’ Ray McAvay, ‘Prairie Populist’ William Daniels Bryan, Charlie Blackwell, and the Vice Squad’s General DeBauchery rescue Dawn McGill and race to Hack’s Rusty Nail Saloon -Colleen Crowder celebrates Joe Biden’s win and the success of the Progressive Alliance at Extreme Election Night 2020 -GEORGIA SENATE MEDALLION MATCH: Raphael Warnock and Jon Ossoff (Progressive Alliance) vs. Kelly Loeffler and David Perdue (American Patriots) -PCW CEO Donald Trump promo -Kevin Scott interview -Kevin Daniels interview -PCW TITLE MATCH: ‘Mr. Hollywood’ Kevin Daniels (Progressive Alliance) © vs. ‘Starz N. Stripes’ Kevin Scott (American Patriots)

Replay of The End of PCW Extreme Political TV – January 10th, 2021 After rescuing Dawn McGill and driving back to Hack’s Rusty Nail Saloon for the show, ‘Red Solo Cup’ Ray McAvay and McGill arrive at Hack’s to find it in ruins following the riot that took place. McGill gets a sinking stomach in her stomach and mutters ‘Oh my God.’ McAvay tells the officer Dawn McGill is the owner of PCW and the officer motions to them to park the car away from the building. After Ray parks the car, he and Dawn walk towards Hack’s they begin to see the full scope of damage. Broken windows. Glass all over the place. Chairs, tables broken in the parking lot.

They reach the entrance and look inside. Ray says they ‘trashed the place.’ Tables and chair strewn all over. The wrestling ring destroyed. Broken light fixtures. Glass all over the floor. Beer and alcohol all over the floor. The owner of the bar meets Dawn in the foyer and explains like other small businesses thanks to COVID they were in trouble already. He works hard. Does the right things. Makes the right choices. And this happens. McGill tries to apologize to him. He just shakes his head and hands her a torn up contract. McGill peers down at the remnants of the document in her hands. Then it gets worse.

Coke Brothers (David and Charles), George Moros- big money political financiers, the founder of the Alan Lincolns Project Alan Lincolns, and Big Tech’s Jack Buckenberg- CEO of Facetwitogram approach Dawn. Moros refers to Dawn’s relatively disheveled appearance and says ‘aren’t you a sight’ to her. McGill’s face turns beet red and she tells Moros he knows damn well what happened. His goons kidnapped and held her hostage for two months.

Moros replies all everyone saw on video was McGill running out on the show at Extreme Election Night and demands proof of the ‘kidnapping’ or else this just is another wild, baseless accusation.

Dawn goes to leap at Moros but McAvay stops her. Moros has a sick grin on his face. He tells her it’s over and she’s through. The Republicans and Democrats are both on board and they’re partnering with their new best friend Jack Buckenberg for a new political wrestling show that will be headed by someone you know and love.

Out of the smoke and rubble of the interior of Hack’s Rusty Nail Saloon walks the ‘Sports Entertainment Genius’ Mr. McMann- McGill and PCW’s long-time nemesis. McAvay mutters ‘son of a bitch’ to himself. McGill? She says not him… anyone but him. McMann goes up to McGill. He smiles and tells her she’s really let herself go. Again, McGill starts to make an aggressive move forward. Again, McAvay pulls her back. McMann brags that it took sixteen years but he’s finally won. Game over.

Then Buckenberg delivers the coup de grace. He tells McGill consider PCW deplatformed.

A few minutes later…McGill, McAvay, and ‘The Voice of PCW’ Johnny Suave watch Mr. McMann- backed by The Coke Brothers, George Moros, and Alan Lincolns- give an impromptu press conference attended by The Guild of Low Level Media People Trying to Make a Name for Themselves: Colleen Crowder-New York Times, Sharon Johns-CNN, Bill Smithers-Fox News, Hallie Reed-MSNBC, and Dan Miller-Washington Post. Suave muses that the writer of the movie ‘The Running Man’ may have called the transformation of politics, society, and culture right on the money. A dejected McGill notes the enthusiastic applause coming from the Guild of Low Level Media people to McMann’s remarks.

Dawn McGill: So this is how liberty dies… with thunderous applause.

Dawn McGill’s House- Wednesday January 20th, 2021 Seated in her favorite comfy chair, munching on a bowl of popcorn and drinking whiskey from a glass on an adjacent table, wearing her favorite sweatshirt and blue jeans, feet propped up on the entertainment stand complete with freshly painted red toenails shining in the light from the nearby lamp, Dawn watches the newly returned Political Wrestling Universe’s Blue Brand aka…PWU Political Shakedown show- live from Washington, D.C.

What’s happening? The official installation of Joe Biden as the new CEO of PCW.

Dawn pops a few pieces of popcorn into her mouth and reflects on what’s happened over the past three months: -the return of PCW and Extreme Election Night 2020- a night where the Progressive Alliance swept everything and took full control of the PCW Executive Committee. -her abduction at the hands of the big money financiers of both the Progressive Alliance (George Moros) and American Patriots (The Coke Brothers), aided and abetted by Alan Lincoln’s Project, during Extreme Election Night and subsequent detention for almost two months before The Deplorables came to her rescue. -the riot that took place at Hack’s Rusty Nail Saloon that destroyed the spiritual home of PCW for over 15 years which leads to the return of ‘Sports Entertainment Genius’ Mr. McMann and the end of PCW.

Sighing, she watches the star-studded, Hollywood-style production on TV and notices the heavy security on hand. She saw troops from the Space Force dressed in white and black with white helmets to usher in the beginning of new CEO of PCW Joe Biden’s tenure, the new CEO of PCW is delivering his acceptance speech.

Biden stands behind the podium. His wrinkled seventy-six year old face is covered in a dark shroud and his hands occasionally shoot out bolts of force lightning when he gesticulates…okay, maybe it doesn’t but still…

Joe Biden (from the television): People, supporters of Political Championship Wrestling, today we mark a transition. For years, PCW stood as the conduit for people who were fed up with the status quo, fed up with politics as usual. But there were those within our fan base who would set us against one another for we never suspected that the greatest threat came from within. These “supporters” conspired to create a shadow of doubt on my appointment aided and abetted by the previous PCW CEO.

Dawn stuffs another piece of popcorn into her mouth.

Joe Biden: The riot two and a half weeks ago left PCW scarred and deformed. But I can assure you my resolve has never been stronger. The war is over. The Trumpists been defeated, and the rebellion…… er…… I mean…… insurrection has been foiled. We stand on the threshold of a new beginning. With that in mind, in order to ensure the security and continuing stability and for a safe and secure society, Political Championship Wrestling will be reorganized into the Political Wrestling Universe and PCW will cease to exist.

Another sigh. Dawn then reaches over and takes a sip of whiskey.

Joe Biden: By bringing the political universal under our enlightened guidance, the corruption that plagued PCW in the past few years under the ownership of Dawn McGill will never take root ever again.

McGill rolls her eyes and chucks a piece of popcorn at the TV.

Biden then puts on what appears to be the same Infinity Gauntlet that Donald Trump used last year to end the Red and Blue Brand shows.

What Infinity Gauntlet you may ask?

[REPLAY: 5/2/2019-Extreme Political TV-Donald Trump (R-NY)] The CEO of Political Championship Wrestling Donald Trump explains why the Red Brand and Blue Brand went dark, shows were cancelled, and why PCW ran replays of shows from ten years ago over the past two weeks. Short and to the point, Trump states the current method of doing business with three brands wasn’t working so, he felt it was time to make a change.

Trump reaches under the podium and pulls out an Infinity Gauntlet (ie…the very same Infinity Gauntlet featured in the recent Avengers movie). He places said Infinity Gauntlet on his right hand. Trump raises his hand in the air.

Then he attaches a red stone to the gauntlet. Then he snaps his fingers and says Red Brand is no more. The press- except for most of the Fox News contingent – let out a loud cheer.

Trump then attaches a blue stone to the gauntlet and snaps his fingers and proclaims the Blue Brand. No more. The press- except for most of the Fox News contingent – groan.

Then Trump attaches a white and black stone with PCW written on it to the gauntlet. But this time he doesn’t snap his fingers. Trump announces he’d made PCW owner Dawn McGill a generous offer for PCW that sets her up for life and she accepted.

Cut back to Dawn’s living room.

Joe Biden: With this Infinity Gauntlet, with one snap of my fingers I brought back the Blue Brand show and here all of you are watching PWU’s Political Shakedown show. Also with one snap of my fingers, I brought back the Red Brand show- PWU’s Politico War – which will return next Monday night.

Biden pauses for applause.

Joe Biden: Under our New Order, our most cherished beliefs will be safeguarded. We will defend our ideals by force of arms.

Behind Biden, George Moros, The Coke Brothers, the CEO of Facetwitogram Jack Buckenberg, and the founder of the Alan Lincolns Project- Alan Lincolns, all approve and applaud.

The camera then focuses in on Berkeley, California professor- Professor McCarthy- and his Flock: -The Green World Order: GreenPete, ‘Extreme Vegan’ Brock Cole Lee, PeaceNick, and Peta from PETA -The Young Jerks: Zenk Cryger, James Idaho, and Anna -Code Pink, and Emily S. List

The Flock also applaud Biden’s speech and Professor McCarthy wipes a tear from his eyes while he holds up the ‘good book that spells out what’s correct and incorrect to think, say, and believe’

Next, the Hollywood Left and sports celebrities from all different walks signal their approval with applause.

Joe Biden: We will give no ground to our enemies and we will stand together against attacks from with or without. Let our enemies take heed. Those who challenge our resolve will be crushed.

The Guild of Low Level Media People Trying to Make a Name for Themselves: Colleen Crowder-New York Times, Sharon Johns-CNN, Bill Smithers-Fox News, Hallie Reed-MSNBC, and Dan Miller-Washington Post all heartily applaud this line.

Joe Biden: And now, with this Infinity Gauntlet, I will wipe out of existence once and for all- PCW.

‘Sports Entertainment Genius’ Mr. McMann stands and claps. Dawn closes her eyes and braces herself as Biden snaps his finger and…

The Location of Hack’s Rusty Nail Saloon 2005-2021- Sunday January 31st, 2021 It’s 30 degrees outside and snowing. The area where Hack’s Rusty Nail Saloon once stood is nothing more than a snow-covered field now. Dawn McGill and Johnny Suave are parked off the side of the road and staring out at where the former spiritual home of PCW for over fifteen years used to stand.

Sitting on the hood of the car, Dawn pours some whiskey into a pair of shot glasses. She hands one of the shot glasses to Suave and asks him what they should drink to. Suave gazes out into the now empty field and mutters something about good times and good memories. They clink their shot glasses together and down the shots.

She tells Suave that PCW Champion ‘Mr. Hollywood’ Kevin Daniels signed on with The Political Wrestling Universe’s Blue Brand show- PWU’s Political Shakedown. PCW Women’s Champion Kathryn Randall Collins has also signed with the Blue Brand. Jill Berg Enterprises signed with PWU’s Red Brand- PWU is Politico War. So basically, to go on means starting over.

Suave takes the whiskey bottle, tilts his head back, and downs another swig of whiskey directly from the bottle. He puts the bottle down on the hood of the car.

Johnny Suave: Well, that’s never stopped us before.

Close in on McGill: she smiles.

Political Wrestling Universe Headquarters – Washington D.C. – February 2021 So not one year after the last time PCW Owner Dawn McGill was hauled before the Executive Committee of the Political Universe for a hearing with the express purpose of determining whether or not she would be removed as the Executive Director of Political Championship Wrestling, they did it again in the aftermath of the riot that took place on January 6th at Hack’s Rusty Nail Saloon.

The hearing takes place before the Executive Committee of the Political Universe. You can cut through the tense atmosphere with a knife. It permeates throughout the hall. Dead quiet inside the hearing room save the occasional sound of a chair moving along the floor, the ruffle of paper, and most notably, the sound of several photographers snapping off shots in rapid fire fashion.

Sitting at a table cutting a solitary figure with a glass of water placed next to her elbow, Executive Director Dawn McGill one more time faced the stern glare of one Nancy Pelosi (D-CA) and Adam Schiff (D-CA). Kevin McCarthy (R-CA) is also there. This time, the hearing would include Mitch McConnell (R-KY) and Chuck Schumer (D-NY).

McGill addresses the Executive Committee and demands to know why she is there when there are so many other pressing issues that need their immediate attention. She can’t believe for a second that there are more important matters to deal with than wasting time on a hearing over the reset of PCW once again. Nancy Pelosi offers a sour expression in response and cuts her off. She tells McGill she knows why she is here- the matter of the riot that took place in January l why you are here. The matter of the riot that took place last month at one of your…- Pelosi spits out the next word with a heaping helping of distain – …shows is an important matter and one more time brings her – Pelosi accentuates the next word with a hint of sarcasm added for extra emphasis- …leadership into question. Pelosi tells McGill what happened at the show was unacceptable and her continued ‘pathetic attempt at leadership’ was also unacceptable. If Pelosi had her way, she would have been removed as the owner of PCW last year.

McGill fired back that Pelosi was entitled to her opinion and she was entitled to be wrong. In Dawn’s opinion, the problem begins right here with the proliferation of the influence of special interest groups that fund both of big factions. She says let’s be honest and adds that she knows it’s something she knows is very hard for many of them to grasp. That crack causes Chuck Schumer to step in and inform McGill that she will ‘refrain from making further comments like that and show this committee the respect they deserve.’

Dawn McGill: With all due respect, Mr. Schumer, I’ll show you the same respect that you show the rest of us.

Later on, Dawn’s in the middle of answering a question and accuses the committee of influencing P-SPAN to take PCW off the air. Adam Schiff pops in and tells her PCW was not appropriate programming for a serious political channel. McGill claps back and tells Schiff the things that go on here isn’t appropriate programming for a serious political channel. She wants to know when does the Executive Committee get directly involved in programming matters on privately owned media networks? Schiff responds that she’s not listening and that PCW was not appropriate programming for P-SPAN.

The tone heats up even more. McGill snaps back that it’s not for them to decide because that’s the ‘people’s job. She says it’s obvious what happened- weight was thrown around and in the end the committee got their way. Schiff tries to defend their action and pronounces the committee has every right to oversee and regulate the product- especially after what happened at the insurrection that took place last month. McGill shoots back not to give her that crap and Schumer again admonishes her to refrain from that kind of talk. McGill tells Schumer she will not refrain and will persist. Schumer tries to interrupt her but McGill persists. She says it’s bad enough that every single aspect of American life has become politicized. Sports has been politicized. Entertainment has been politicized. Science- politicized. Education-politicized. In her opinion, to let this slide supports the status quo where big money equals power and leaves behind middle class America. She will not refrain. She will persist.

Schiff bangs his gavel down and calls for order. He slams the gavel down a second time

Adam Schiff: ORDER! Miss McGill, that’s enough! You are OUT OF ORDER!

Dawn shoots up from her chair and tells Schiff he’s out of order. She points at Nancy Pelosi and tells her she’s out of order! Then Mitch McConnell. She says the committee is out of order and she was done wasting my time talking to you. McGill grabs her stuff and motions to the Les Miserables inside the hall: ‘Red Solo Cup’ Ray McAvay, his wife- West Texas Adult Entertainment Legend Stacee Perry, Bert the Janitor, and a whole section of people who stand up en masse at her beckoning.

Dawn McGill: We don’t need you. And you can all kiss my ass.

As all hell breaks loose, McGill defiantly marches out of the hearing room with the Les Miserables humming ‘Do You Hear the People Sing?’

Political Championship Wrestling PCW Arena 19th Street and Alcove Ave. Lubbock, TX

The Return McGill and Suave sit in the ring at the brand new PCW Arena built in Lubbock, Texas. McGill thanks everyone for sticking with them and announces that thanks to the help of some people that she will not name, PCW is back and ready to go.

Suave says for the return of PCW’s Extreme Political TV there will be a Television Title match, a Tag Team Title Match, and the PCW Title match. Who’s going to be wrestling? Suave says you’ll just have to tune in and see.

McGill adds one last parting shot before the preview show comes to and end.

Dawn McGill: ‘Sports Entertainment Genius’ Mr. McMann and Jack Buckenberg- you can kiss my ass!”

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the-wlw-cafe · 4 years

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Supercorptober - Day 5: Family

Read it on ao3 here!

CW: Implied alcohol abuse

Lena knew Jess was worried about her. Granted, she did little else, especially after the whole Eve situation that had Jess coming back from her deserved sabbatical without Lena even doing so much as lifting a finger. She still felt guilty about the palpable sense of relief that had accompanied signing Jess back into her old position – she’d desperately needed someone in her corner she knew she could trust. She would never have presumed to ask her for it, but still, Jess had come, just a little bit of comfort in a world that had spun on its axis so substantially Lena wasn’t sure she’d ever recover her balance. But Jess had come back, and she’d stayed.

And now, with the holidays fast approaching, her fretting over Lena had increased exponentially. For the impartial observer, the signs would be almost imperceptible, but after years of working together Lena was keyed in to all of Jess’ tells. Her worry was clear in the way she’d space out Lena’s meetings a little wider, affording her some breaks she definitely didn’t need, and subtly hinting that it was getting quite late whenever Lena tried to pull another all-nighter at the office. And Lena ought to be thankful, really, to have someone keep an eye on her since Kara and Alex were visiting their mother in Midvale. But the holidays were a difficult time for Lena, they had been back when Lillian would still try to coax her to come visit the LuthorCorp Holiday gala and Lex would write her a single card filled with as much backhanded compliments and disguised mockery as the limited space would allow, and they were even more so now when they’d…stopped. She hated it, and she hated the part of herself that, for whatever misguided reason, missed it. Truth be told, Lena was tense, a swirling vortex of negative emotions barely held down by a cocktail of whisky, antidepressants and ibuprofen. All of that didn’t excuse the way she snapped at Jess when she suggested that Lena take some time off for the holidays.

“What for, Jess, to spend some time with my family?” she’d hissed, an apology already on her tongue the second she realizes what she’d said. Jess however stood her ground, unperturbed.

“Yes, that actually was what I was thinking of.”

For a second, Lena was too stunned even to answer, before she managed to gather herself. “Miss Huang, you surely must be joking.” Her voice was low, carefully controlled.

Jess didn’t even flinch.

“I’m not talking about your blood relatives, Miss Luthor. Everyone can see that you’re basically a part of the Danvers clan already.”

Lena had already opened her mouth to refute whatever claim left her assistant’s mouth, but now found herself lost for words. She closed it again. Never once in her life had she found herself so utterly disarmed, because, as much as the ugly part of her, the one that spoke to her in the voices of Lillian and Lex, tried to convince her of the opposite the truth still remained: Jess was right.

The first time she’d ever felt that way was a good year ago, and it came as a surprise so shocking and abrupt it felt like she’d missed a step when walking down the stairs, and it went something like this:

Lena found herself chanting “please don’t pick up, please don’t pick up” under her breath. She’d lie about this detail if anyone would later ask her about it, since she’d never been one to avoid conflict; a necessary trait in her line of work. And yet, she couldn’t help but silently hope against hope that Kara, who usually picked up the phone in a matter of seconds when she was calling, presumably dropping anything and everything she was currently doing (and sprinting to the phone, considering how out of breath she sometimes sounded) just to answer her on time, would make an exception to this rule just this once.

She really didn’t want to disappoint her by cancelling on game night.

She couldn’t bear to make her sad.

And she really, really wasn’t in the right headspace to get into the why.

“You’re speaking with Kara Danvers, hi!”

God, there she went again, answering her mobile phone with both her first and last name like the dork she was and now she had to sit down due to a bout of dizziness that was definitely not caused by the amounts of whiskey she'd consumed beforehand.

"Hey, Kara."

Her voice sounded hoarse from crying. The anniversary of the Luthor’s taking her in had always been rough on her, and yet she’d never come unravelled like this. It was as if the sudden and unplanned arrival of Kara Danvers in her life had wrenched something free inside of her, some blockade she’d built when she was young, and now she couldn’t help but cry over things she’d long since ought to move past. Then again, she also never entertained childish crushes like this. It seemed as if Kara Danvers had been engineered for the sole purpose of throwing Lena off her game.

“Lena! I was just talking to Alex about ordering from that new Ethiopian place you recommended for game night! What’s the point in having a cultured friend if I don’t get to show off their amazing palate, am I right?”

“Yes, Kara, about that”, Lena interjected before her friend could get herself too amped up. Before she could do something immensely stupid, such as let Kara talk her into coming to game night anyway, dragging everyone down with her and ruining everything.

“I’m sorry, I don’t think I can make it to game night after all. Busy life of a CEO and all that.”

Funny, how lies that used to pass her lips effortlessly now felt like they were suffocating her, leaving behind a foul taste in her mouth. It’s because you are an awful friend. It’s because Kara deserves better.

“Oh.”

The disappointment in Kara’s voice was palpable, and Lena hated herself for being the cause.

“But there’ll be a bunch of other game nights, and I’m sure the others appreciate the chance when the Danvers-Luthor dream team can no longer dominate them!”

Lena let out a choked sound, a pathetic excuse for a laugh.

“Lena, are you okay? Because it sounds like you’re crying – are you crying? Did something happen?”

Lena dug her nails into her forearm, leaving angry red crescent shapes in the flesh. Selfish, so selfish, making Kara worry on a day that was supposed to be reserved for her friends.

“Don’t worry about me”, she said, not being able to bear the enormous lie that would be an I’m fine. “It’s just…”, she floundered, trying to find a way to put her feelings into words that wouldn’t make them seem as laughable as they were to Kara.

“It’s stupid”, she sighed, but Kara intercepted before she had even reached the end of her sigh.

“It’s not! If it makes you upset, it’s never stupid. Your feelings are valid, Lena.”

“But it all happened decades ago! I should be over it by now!”

“Oh, Lena…”

She used that tone. Lena hated that tone. She hated that Kara always used just before pointing out that something about Lena’s upbringing, or something about the strategies she’d developed to cope, was inherently wrong. It was so much easier to pretend like it was justified, that some inherent quality she had or lacked had was the root cause of all she experienced. But there went Kara, taking a sledgehammer to all the things she’d considered immutable truth before. There went Kara, telling her that what they did wasn’t fair and what happened to you was not your fault and there are things whiskey and tiny boxes can’t fix.

It was painful, it made her feel wretched, and she couldn’t take it, not today.

“I told you not to worry about me, I’ll be fine tomorrow”, she insisted.

“But I do worry about you”, Kara replied, “constantly. Because you’re my best friend, and I love you, and when I told you I’d always protect you I meant it. So please answer me honestly, and don’t listen to the voice in your head that tells you you’re selfish, cause it’s a liar: Do you need me to come over?”

Kara hadn’t even finished her sentence and Lena was already crying. She was a pathetic, slobbering mess, not worthy of the Luthor name, but she hoped desperately that somehow, she could be worthy of Kara. (It was clear as day she wasn’t.)

She tried to do the selfless thing, tried to tell Kara to just enjoy the evening with her loved ones, and that they could schedule dinner the next day if she really insisted. But Kara, beautiful, stubborn Kara, was having none of it.

“Lena, I won’t just abandon you when you’re obviously not in a good place. You’re family! And family means nobody gets left behind.”

“You’re a plagiarist, we watched Lilo and Stitch just two weeks ago”, Lena chuckled wetly.

“Don’t distract from the question!”

“I…”, she gathered her courage. She needed this, she needed Kara. “Can you come over?”, she asked, her voice the smallest it had ever been.

“Of course”, Kara said, her voice warm as the sun.

And Lena still cried, so much, but it was okay, because she got to cry in Kara’s arms and listen to Kara tell her that it’s okay to cry, that she wasn’t pathetic, that she’d feel better after a good long sob session, and maybe, just maybe, Lena was inclined to believe her.

Realizing that Alex saw her as family too was more of a gradual process, like leaning back in your chair too far and only realizing your mistake after it’s far too late.

They hadn’t started out on the best of terms. Alex had never be openly hostile to her face, which wasn’t something she could easily say about many people in her life. Still, the distrust with which she’d viewed Lena had been palpable, so much so that Kara saw it necessary to take her aside and told her in no uncertain terms that she had to respect the choice in friends she made. It was the first time anyone had ever defended Lena so ardently, and as much as she wished she could have seen it as the moment of vindication she deserved, in the moment she had overhead their fight Lena had just felt so guilty for driving a wedge between the two sisters she’d had to call her driver to take her home immediately.

Kara, bless her, had apologised profusely on behalf of her sister the next day no matter how much Lena tried to convince her that it was no big deal, really, Kara didn’t have to.

Because here was the truth: Lena understood. Truly, she did. If she had a sister, she wouldn’t have wanted her to keep pace with the likes of herself as well. But she was selfish, utterly selfish, and she didn’t have the power of will to protect Kara from herself.

Of course, now she knew this had been a rather reductive and self-centred view of the world. Because Kara was Supergirl, had always been Supergirl, and wasn’t some shrinking violet to be protected.

And the fallout had been grim. Weeks of silence punctuated by shouting matches with her former best friend, and it was so, so painful because she’d still loved her so, so much.

And after the dust had settled, even after Kara had forgiven her, she certainly hadn’t expected Alex to forgive her as well. The agent was fiercely protective of her little sister after all, and was known to carry grudges.

She’d been prepared for many things when she showed up at game night for the first time after everything had happened, she’d expected Alex to throw her out, yell at her to leave and never talk to her sister again, or just up and go herself. What she didn’t expect was Alex fixing her with a long look, before putting a hand on her shoulder with the words “It’s good to have you back. Kara was so busy being mopey we didn’t win a single game while you were gone.”

At that moment, Kara’s joyous call of her name rang through the air, and she looked so excited just because Lena had decided to join them again, both Lena and Alex couldn’t help but smile. They both loved Kara, and Kara loved both of them, and maybe they’d become something like accomplices.

Then, Alex had invited her to National City pride with her since Kara was making an appearance as Supergirl and seeing her arrive with the both of them would have been to conspicuous, and Lena had wondered if maybe she’d misjudged. Maybe they’d somehow, miraculously become friends.

And now, well, now she’d been dating Kara for two heavenly weeks and she was still working up the courage to tell Alex – liquid courage, as it were, because she was already on the second whiskey on rocks in the bar they’d chosen as their venue for breaking the news to Alex. They were both comfortable here, more comfortable than was healthy, probably, and if it went pear shaped she was already in the right place to drown her sorrows. Kara had left for a moment to say hello to a patron she recognized, a former employee at CatCo back when Cat Grant had still been around, and the cruel fates aligned that Alex chose that exact second to slide onto the barstool next to her.

“Hi, little Luthor”, she said, while motioning the to the barkeeper for her drink.

“Hey Alex. Kara literally just went to meet an old colleague-”

“Yeah, I saw her.”

Lena downed her glass in order to fill the awkward silence that arose, a mistake she bitterly regretted as the next words out of Alex’ mouth were: “So you and Kara, huh?”. She sputtered so hard some of the whiskey came up through her nose, the burning sensation forcing tears to her eyes.

“How did you know?” she coughed.

Alex gave her a somewhat pained smile. “Found your panties in the crease of her couch – satin, looked more expensive than anything she could afford – so I kind of put two and two together.”

Lena could feel the blood rush to her cheeks and prayed that Alex couldn’t see it as she kept her eyes to the floor, as if it might take pity and swallow her up if she just stared hard enough.

“I am so, so sorry that you had to find out this way”, Lena began, but Alex just waved her off.

“Eh, it could have been worse. I’m just glad I didn’t walk in on you.”

Lena kept her mouth shut, preferring not to let Alex know about how close she’d come that one time during a risqué tryst in the DEO.

“So I suppose this is the part where you give me the shovel talk? Tell me that you’ll have me executed for treason if I ever hurt her?” she asked.

Alex regarded her with an unreadable look as she finished her drink in one swig, grimaced, and shook her head.

“No. I don’t think I need to. Just – ugh, I’m bad at this. Listen, I know the concept is antiquated and means nothing, but you make Kara very happy – like, accidentally-starting-to-float-while-telling-me-about-your-first-kiss happy – and for what it’s worth, you have my blessing.”

Lena didn’t tell her that she disagreed, it meant everything, but she held her tongue for now as it was too early to start crying. It definitely would happen over the course of the night, she’d always been a weepy drunk, but there was no need to purposefully induce a sobbing breakdown.

“Lena! Lena, I forgot! It’s karaoke night!” Kara’s voice pierced the constant hum of chatter and ambient music.

“Oh no, I don’t dance”, Lena immediately objected. But, embarrassingly, Alex had slid off her barstool and taken her into a headlock before she could even begin to put up a fight.

“Yes you do”, she grinned, looking entirely too happy with herself. “You’re one of us now, and karaoke night is a mandatory experience for every Danvers.”

Lena didn’t even protest too much as she was dragged away, and she definitely had to apologize personally to Celine Dione after the way she bastardised My Heart Will Go On, cry-singing and occasionally hiccuping.

“Please pick up, please pick up, please pick up”, Lena muttered into her phone. It was a long shot, With Kara probably already being surrounded by family in Midvale, eating the contents of Eliza’s pantry in one day. She’d almost resigned herself to failure when she heard Kara’s voice from the other end of the line, and it still made her heart skip a beat like the first time Kara had called her baby.

“You’re speaking with Kara Danvers, hi!”

“Never change, darling.”

“Lena, hi! It’s so good to hear your voice, baby, I know you’re busy but I miss you so much!”

Lena could hear her girlfriend pout.

“Actually, Kara...I was wondering if I might join you over the holidays – not right now, of course! I’m sure you’ve already made plans, and you deserve some time with your family alone, but maybe we could -”

“Lena, oh Rao, hang on a second, I’m putting you on speaker”, Kara gushed, sounding uncontainably excited about something.

“Alex – hey Alex!”, Kara shouted, and Lena had to hold the phone a good 10 inches away from her ear.

“Whoops, sorry baby. Alex, guess who it is!”

“Lena? You’re kidding me, right, you have to be!”, Alex replied, and the remark stung a bit. Confusion swirled in Lena’s head and her anxiety climbed higher.

“You betcha! I hope you have eight dollars to pay Eliza because I forgot my wallet at home!”

“You bet on me?” Lena asked, unsure whether she wanted to know the answer.

“Yeah, we did – it’s nothing bad, I promise. Eliza was just so sure you’d come, she made you a sweater and everything, and I told that the holidays are a difficult time for you and you usually prefer to spend them alone, but she was so sure you’d come, and I – well, I didn’t want to get my hopes up.”

“Mom is going to be so smug”, Alex groaned from somewhere farther away.

Lena’s chest seemed to fill with something warm and lighter than air at the thought of her attendance at the holidays was something to hope for.

“She made me a sweater?” Lena asked, not in the least bit surprised at how choked up she’d become, and too happy to care.

“You betcha! It’s really ugly, you’re going to love it.”

As she put the photo of Kara and her, both clad in the most garish sweaters known to mankind, Lena laughing with abandon because she thought Kara’d gone in for a cheek kiss in the photo, but instead had blown a wet raspberry on her skin, up on the Midvale mantelpiece she mused that being welcomed into the Danvers family by Eliza felt much like returning to a home she’d never known existed.

#supercorp #supercorptober2020 #lena luthor #kara danvers #supergirl fanfic #wlw fanfic #alex danvers #danvers family #5 for 5 and i cranked this bad boi out late at night in 5 hours on the day it was posted cause i lost 89 % in a computer crash #so please reblog if you like there's blood sweat and actual tears in this

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