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#cant wait until shes settled in fully and eating so i can start handling her proper!
kirstielol · 3 years
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forgot to post these the other day, but i got to see my cute bb snek for a couple minutes while i cleaned out her tank 💙
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nomsugayoongi · 3 years
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Off My Face. - Part 2
Pairing: Jungkook X Female OC (nameless)
Tags: FLOOOOOOOOFFFFF. Slight angst but mainly just sappy, ridiculous fluff. ("She" is SO into him) And smooching. Think of this as the warm up before the straight up filth starts. :p
She walked outside in silence with Namjoon close beside her. He'd realised quickly that this wasn't a light-hearted situation to poke fun at. She looked troubled and it worried him. He stayed quiet, following her to the very bottom of the garden. She wanted to get as far away from the house as possible due to her irrational but overwhelming fear of someone overhearing. She settled on a picnic bench among some trees at the very end of the garden. Namjoon sat on the table itself with his feet on the bench. "What's going on?" He questioned. She sighed with exasperation. "God, I don't even know. It's so stupid." She groaned. She felt like a complete tool. "Ok, I'm just going to ask you something. Did you sleep with Jungkook?" Namjoon asked.
She frowned, shaking her head emphatically even though the very suggestion made her stomach clench. "But something happened between you right? Last night maybe." He wasn't exactly sure what it was but he was definitely sensing a shift in their relationship. She continued to shake her head. "No, nothing happened. Literally nothing. But..." She broke off and shrugged. "But...you want it to. You like him." He finished. She nodded. "I don't get it Namjoon. He's Jungkook. I've known him ages. I've never even slightly looked at him like that but...last night. God, when he walked in it was like the light dimmed around everything else. He changed right? While I was gone. Something happened to him. Something must have. He's...so different." She muttered. Namjoon smiled slightly and shook his head. "Not really. He's made a couple of changes to his appearance I guess but...that's just Jungkook becoming more fully who he is." He mused. She glanced at him with a slight smile. Namjoon could always be counted upon to speak pure sense. "But then why the sudden attraction? If he is the same guy I left 3 months ago, how come I can't look at him now without my insides going nuts? They didn't before I left. My insides did nothing. Now it's like my heart is trying to physically beat itself out of me so it can get closer to him. It's dumb. I literally can't handle how...sexy he is. He's like this whole new person to me. He's the damn maknae. He's the baby. Unthreatening, sweet little Jungkook. Now he walks into a room and it's like a pheromone bomb explodes in my face and there is not a fucking thing i can do to keep my hormones in check. He walks in, I check out. Full mental shutdown for anything that isn't related to him. I'm like...possessed of something. Can't see, can't hear, can't think anything else. Just him. And my head is taking me on this fully realised, sense-surround journey of me and him. Thoughts of him...in ways I didn't even know I COULD think about him." She shook her head, the floodgates opening and everything she was thinking and feeling just spilling out. "This cant be happening Joon. It just can't. I can't feel this way about him." Namjoon smiled, "Why not? He's not seeing anyone. You know that. Maybe you should talk to him. Tell him what's going on" he suggested. She shook her head rapidly. "Ohhhh no. Nope. No way. Can't. What the hell would I say? Oh Jungkook, I Lost my damn mind in England and now you're crazy hot. Wanna make out?" Namjoon laughed heartily. "Maybe don't word it that way. But you know you can talk to him. He's Jungkook. He'd get it. And maybe it would help you to feel not so crazy. You can't keep this to yourself." He said. She shrugged. "Have to. I can't tell him Namjoon. I don't even understand it. And hey, it could be just like....a fleeting thing. Quick infatuation cause i've missed you guys." She mused, not actually believing it at all. And apparently Namjoon didn't either. "Well... Are you having these feelings about any of the rest of us?" He questioned. "No." She replied. "Exactly. I don't think it's just cause you've been away. I think you've realised that home wasn't what you thought it was. Going back to England showed you how much has changed and now you're back here where you belong, your eyes are opened to other things that might not be what you thought they were. Like Jungkook." He offered. She hummed thoughtfully. It did sound plausable. But the part of her that didn't want to engage in this messiness threw up defences. "But why him? He's Jungkook. I'd get it if it was Jin or you or..Shugs even. But he's the baby. He's the least threatening of all of you. Except maybe Jimin and that's only because he's actually made of rainbows." She joked. Namjoon smiled and shook his head. "But he isn't. I think this is why you feel like he's changed. Jungkook isn't a kid anymore. We've all joked about the Maknae. But he stopped being the baby years ago. He's grown. He's an adult. The changes... The tattoos and piercings and hair. He doesn't want people to see him as a kid anymore. You thought he
was safe because he fit into a nice little box of being the baby. Now he's challenging that. And it's not just how he looks. He's more...in control of himself. He's putting out hard that he's grown. You're just...picking it up!" Namjoon explained. She huffed, dropping her head between her hands. "Well he needs to quit it. Things were simpler when he wasn't threatening. His new sexiness is offensive to me. I feel attacked." Namjoon laughed and she raised her head, smiling slightly. She knew she sounded childish. "I really think you need to talk to him." Namjoon suggested. She sighed, shaking her head again. "I can't. It's too messy. And he'd feel weird about it and it'd make it awkward and I don't want that. It'll pass. This time next week we'll be laughing about this conversation." He could hear the hopeful tone in her voice but wasn't convinced. convinced In all honesty, Namjoon thought she'd be great for Jungkook. He needed someone to balance him out. He was too hard on himself. Overly critical about everything he did, from starving himself before video shoots to completely breaking down if he made the smallest mistake. He needed someone to bolster him. To show him how he actually was. Not what his critical mind told him he was. It was a running joke that Jungkook was good at everything but Namjoon didn't like where it seemed to be going. He worried for his youngest brother. He felt that her affections could be exactly the thing Jungkook needed to calm him down. To show him that he didn't need to try so hard. He was enough. He needed someone to adore him for exactly who he was. And she was perfect. And Jungkook was perfect for her too. He could ground her. Show her that even though this wasn't where she was born, it was where she belonged. Show her that she wasn't an outsider. He could anchor her. Give her the confidence she was so desperately lacking. They would be so perfect together. But he could tell by her expression that this wasn't a conversation that she was willing to hear right now so he kept it to himself. "So what now?" He questioned. She shrugged, looking defeated. "Dunno. Just wait for it to pass I guess. Namjoon, please don't say anything to the others." She asked, looking suddenly panicked. He smiled, jumping off the picnic table and pulling her into a hug. "Of course not. But if you need to talk about it..." She nodded against his shoulder, suddenly overwhelming thankful to have such amazing people in her life. "Thank you Namjoon. I don't know what I'd do without you." She whispered. He laughed, tightening his hold on her. "You never have to find out" he said comfortingly. ----------------------------------------------------------- Weeks passed. Her feelings didn't. If anything, they were getting stronger by the day. Being around him was painful. Being away from him was worse. She was convinced that she acted differently when he was around. She felt more distracted but Namjoon assured her it wasn't noticable to anyone else. Her cover was still in tact even though she was sure that every interaction with Jungkook turned her into a spazz. They'd planned a movie night. She was going to cook for the boys, something she loved to do then they were all going to crash out in the lounge and binge watch films. After a day of shopping for food and prepping, she was ready for a relaxing night. It was extraordinary how much food those 7 guys could put away. Even after overestimating and cooking what she thought was way too much, they still managed to finish everything. She picked at her food. Cooking always made her lose her appetite and honestly she was just tired. She wanted to collapse on the sofa and zone out for a while with the comforting noise of her favourite people around her. As the meal finished, she began to gather up the plates and clear away. It could have waited until the following day but she thought she might as well do it then while she still had a scrap of energy left. With a tower of plates and bowls balancing precariously on her arm, she teetered into the kitchen and started loading the
dishwasher. She'd have to go back out for glasses and serving dishes. She smiled to herself, listening to the rabble coming from the guys as they moved into the lounge and fought over who got what seat. She heard the kitchen door open behind her and figured it'd be Namjoon or Yoongi. Generally If she was doing something, they helped. She turned and saw Jungkook wandering into the kitchen with a stack of serving dishes. He was balancing them on one arm while eating the remains of the top dish. "How are you still eating?" She chuckled, shaking her head. He smiled sheepishly with a shrug. "I can't waste good food." He replied with his mouth still full. She rolled her eyes, having a moment to enjoy the warm feeling that filled her tummy when he looked happy. "You didn't eat much. Are you ok?" He asked, the concern he expressed marred slightly by the giant amount of noodles he was trying to stuff in his mouth. "Yeah I'm good. I'm just not hungry. I'm always starving when I start cooking and by the time I've made it, I don't want it." She explained with a smile. He dumped the dishes on the counter next to her pile and turned to her, leaning against the worktop. "Are you sure you're ok? I feel like I haven't seen you in ages" he said softly. Her heart fluttered as she turned to face him. There was a moment of silence where she contemplated her answer. A tiny part of her was telling her to tell him how she felt about him. The vast majority of her was screaming to keep quiet. She nodded, wrapping her arms around herself. "Yeah...I'm ok. Tired I guess. And a little cold. Maybe I'm getting sick." She shrugged. He nodded slowly, the expression on his face was difficult to read but it made her stomach churn nervously. She turned to the dishwasher, distracting herself from his gaze by stacking the plates. "Leave that. We'll clean later." He said. She felt his hand on her back and almost jumped out of her skin. She straightened up and steadied herself. He'd taken off his white hoodie and was holding it out to her. "You said you're cold." He offered. A wave of affection surged through her as she looked at him. His soft brown eyes studying her carefully. She tilted her head to the side, taking in how beautiful he was. Not just in looks but In general. "Jagi" she whispered, barely audibly. The endearment left her lips without her even noticing. His eyes widened slightly for a second then a shy smile tugged at his lips. He pushed his hoodie into her hands. She took it, pulling it over her head, the smell of him enveloping her. As she straightened the hood and pulled out the yellow drawstrings, he stepped closer, untucking her hair from underneath the hoodie. He straightened her hair then paused, catching a loose strand from her forehead and pushing it away from her eyes, tucking it carefully behind her ear. "Sit with me?" He asked. She looked up at him, her heart hammering as she nodded. "Mmm hmm" She followed Jungkook into the lounge feeling slightly dazed. Maybe it was the lack of food. Maybe it was the brief interaction she'd just had with him. Maybe it was a combination of both but she felt...different. Her tummy was squirming but in a good way. She felt...warm. Her interactions with him were usually tinged with nervousness or fear. Would she slip up? Would she say or do something that gave her away? But at that moment she just felt peaceful. She just wanted to be with him. Wherever it was or whatever they were doing, it didn't matter. The guys were already sprawled over the sofas and Yoongi was arguing with Jin over what film to watch first. Jungkook picked the corner of the largest sofa, nudging Namjoon further over so there was space for her. She didn't miss the knowing smile Namjoon flashed her as he relented what was arguably the comfiest spot on the sofa. Jungkook sat, patting the space beside him which she took happily. He threw an arm around her shoulders, pulling her into his side. The arguement about which film to watch ended, the lights were turned off and silence fell as the movie began to play. She wasn't paying any
attention to the film whatsoever even though she was technically looking at it. She was too lost in her thoughts to actually notice what was happening. She'd watched films and cuddled with the guys numerous times. Jungkook included. But she felt so different. She could see him out of the corner of her eye. His face illuminated by the screen. She could seem him gasp at a cool part or laugh at a funny part. She felt every movement when he stretched or wriggled. His arm moved from round her shoulders and rested between them as he slumped further down on the sofa. She watched his hand gradually move closer to her leg. She moved her hand closer to his, using her little finger to trace the letters tattooed on his knuckles. She saw his face break into a smile and he straightened out his fingers, making it easier. She traced each letter slowly, then the crosses between, then the BTS logo. He chuckled softly and she glanced at him. "Tickles" he mouthed. She grinned, stopping her tracing. "Sorry" she mouthed back. He shook his head. "Nice" he muttered. He turned his hand over so it was palm up and she smiled, turning her attention back to his hand to trace the lines across his palm. He sighed quietly, resting his head against the back of the sofa and closing his eyes. He liked the attention. He needed it. He'd been feeling pretty down on himself over the past couple of weeks. He'd noticed that she'd been avoiding him and it bothered him. He couldn't figure out what he'd done wrong and though he felt the constant need to apologise to her for it, he didn't know what he was apologising for so instead he just kept quiet. His hyungs did their best to boost his mood but their affection and attention didn't affect him the same way hers did. They were his family. They loved him so it made it easier to take their encouragements with a grain of salt. But she had no reason to pretend. If she was giving him her attention, it was because she wanted to. And he craved her attention more than he wanted to admit. He knew that to her he was just the maknae but sometimes it was nice to just feel like himself. He focused on the feeling of her fingers gliding softly along his hand, moving up his wrist. It tickled pleasantly. He wanted more. He wanted everyone to go away so that he could have her full attention for a while. The delicate stroking of his arm stopped and he felt movement beside him. He opened his eyes as she was getting up. "Leaving?" He asked, unable to hide his slight frown. She smiled and shook her head. "Bathroom" she whispered. " Back in a minute" She needed a breather. A second away to collect herself. She was falling into this a little too much. Being in such close proximity to Jungkook. Neither one of them actually paying attention to the movie. He looked so peaceful and content as she'd been playing with his hand. She noticed every time he'd smiled or sighed happily, every twitch of his fingers when she ran over an extra ticklish bit. She wondered if he'd noticed that she'd traced the heart on his hand more than any of his other tattoos. She studied herself in the bathroom mirror. His hoodie was too big on her and she grinned as she wrapped the yellow drawstrings around her fingers. She took a deep breath, tried to calm the butterflies in her stomach and headed back. The way she felt in that moment, 2 minutes was too long to be away from him. He greeted her with a smile as she crept back into the room and took her place beside him once again. "Okay? He whispered. She smiled and nodded. She snuggled back into the big cushions and turned her attention to the film. She wanted to keep touching him but didn't know if the moment was ruined. He closed his eyes again, also wondering if her attentions were finished. He felt her shuffle beside him but didn't open his eyes. He was kind of disappointed really. Or at least, he had been for the first few minutes. Then he felt her fingers in his hair, pushing through until she touched the skin on the back of his neck. The pleasent tickle returned with the smooth, feather like glide of her
fingers. He shivered slightly, leaning into her touch. His eyes fluttered and he let his head lol forward. She traced swirly patterns from the nape of his neck, down, pushing her fingers under the collar of his t shirt to stroke the top of his back. She'd tickle up and down his neck then under his collar and along to his shoulder then back. He was almost purring. Her light touch felt so good. He was angry that his hyungs were in the room. Had they been alone he would have just laid on his front, whipped off his shirt and left her have it it. He wanted more. He wanted to feel the soft glide of her fingers all over his skin. As she pushed her fingers up through his hair another blissful shiver traveled down his spine. All thought fell from his head as a he lost himself in her delicate stokes. Slightly more pressure against the back of his head then soft again as she wrapped his hair round her fingers. He wasn't sure how long it'd been going on for but it didn't feel like long enough when she stopped. His eyes felt heavy but he forced them open, looking at her quizzically. "What?" He asked, noticing the slight bashful expression on her face. "I need to stop" she whispered. He frowned, "Why?" She sighed, exasperated. "I need a drink" she mumbled, getting up and heading for the kitchen. He sat for a minute, puzzled, then headed after her. He found her in the kitchen leaning against the opened fridge door. "What's the matter?" He asked, closing the kitchen door behind him to drown out the movie sound blaring from the next room. She huffed and shrugged keep her back to him. "I just...need a drink. And to stop petting you like a dog" she muttered. He laughed, placing a hand on her shoulder. "I don't mind" he replied. "Well I mind" she snapped back. He frowned, dropping his hand. "Oh....ok. Sorry." He mumbled. She turned to look at him, a bashful kind of hurt look on his face like she was angry at him. Her heart ached. "No...Jungkook, I mind because...." She took a deep breath, hating the look on his face, "...because I don't want to stop. I want to stoke you and pet you and make you feel good. But I can't because the more you enjoy it, the more I want to kiss you." She blurted. He looked at her wide eyed. Her face burned, her heart thudding wildly. Well damn. She'd said it now. "Jungkook...I'm sorry. I have been having such a shitty time being around you. Since I got back from England, you're all I can think about. I am so fucking into you it's not even funny. And I want to be close to you and do things that make you feel good cause there is NOTHING nicer than seeing you happy but it's just all tangled up in this shit i'm feeling and I don't know if I can keep them separate and I'm so scared of making you feel awkward or uncomfortable so....it's better if I just...go!" She sighed. Jungkook didn't seem phased. He nodded as though he understood then took a step towards her. "Kiss me?" he said softly. She nodded, rubbing her face. "Yes, I wanna kiss you" she replied. He took another step, a smile tugging at his lips. "No I'm not asking if you want to. I'm..." He sighed, "...I'm telling you to do it." Now it was her turn to look surprised. She frowned, looking at the smirk playing round his mouth. "Huh?" She barked. He took another step, closing the gap between them, he reached for her hands, pulling her to him. "Come here....and kiss me." His voice was lower and breathy. His brown eyes flashed as he leaned in, shaking his hair off his face. "Show me what you're feeling" he whispered. She almost wilted. His eyes closed heavily, his nose touched hers, their was a sharp inhale of breath from her, her grip on his hands tightening then her lips brushed his so lightly. Her heart was beating so fast she could hear the blood pounding in her ears. Her legs didn't feel like they could take her weight. His mouth opened, she could taste his breath. She wasn't sure if he was teasing her or they were teasing each other, either way, there was a delicious moment where the promise of the kiss hung in the air between them, then it ended, her lips
caught his, her hands sliding up his arms and winding round his shoulders. It didn't feel like a tentative first kiss. It was supercharged. All force and heavy breathing. It was like he could feel how much she wanted him and he fed off it. His hands tangled in her hair, holding her head steady as he took possession of her mouth, his tongue explored, he nibbled her bottom lip, she moaned against his lips, fingers curling against his shoulders. He could feel the slight nip of her nails through his shirt and it only served to make him kiss harder. He was rapidly losing control of himself. He felt greedy. He could feel the waves of desire radiating off her. The air was thick with lust. She wanted him. And he wanted her to want him. But not here. Not like this. He hated it but he eased up, letting go of the handfuls of her hair, trying to steer this back to somewhere manageable. He kissed her softer, running his fingers down her cheek, feeling her grip on his shoulders relax. He diverted the attention from her mouth, kissing sweetly along her collarbone then up her neck. A slight, mischevious nibble of her earlobe made her breath catch but he grinned, running his fingers through her hair. "Naekkeo!" he whispered.
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mymymadeline · 3 years
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•Friendly Dark
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gif by: @chrishemsworht​​
pairing: Hallmark Christmas Movie Au! Poe Dameron x Reader 
word count: 6.9k+ words 
summary: 
warnings: alcohol cw
Adore You series: 01, 02, 03, 04, ... - AO3
Even though you’re on vacation, you are far from exempt from your work. And nothing is proving that more than the headache you nurse as you continue pouring over document after document on your tablet. Numbers and figures, charts and graphs, blueprints and sketches, even interviews and gossip articles – they’re all blending together after staring at the screen for what’s likely been hours. 
Snoke’s call the night before was not a social one – they never are. He was going on about some acquisition Kylo’s been trying to make for the past few months, and apparently, he was missing something crucial, which is where you usually come in. The two of you have always been a team for a reason. He was more of the passion and ideas, whereas you were better with relations and logistics. 
Snoke had immediately sent over hundreds of digital files for you to go through and find… well something. Most likely some kind of professional blackmail. Some kind of small violation or incident that would really be such a shame if it came to the media's attention. You know, the usual. 
So far, everything they’ve done is up to code, as far as you can tell. But Snoke won’t take no for an answer. He’d have your head for it. So you continue looking through page after page, searching for some dirt, searching for any kind of upper hand on the competition. 
After coming back in that night while on the phone with Snoke, you blew past your parents and went straight up to your room, where you’ve been for almost the entirety of this Sunday. You couldn’t even face them after that absolute embarrassment of an evening. And though this morning you did stalk around the house if only to get a thing or two to eat, you pointedly ignored your mother, only giving your father a small silent nod of acknowledgment. 
Stealing away to your room for a full day of silent, frustrating work was not exactly your idea of a fun vacation back home, but neither was last night. Just the thought of running into Poe again makes you squeeze your eyes shut in embarrassment and stress. He probably thinks you’re an idiot now. Probably never wants to see you again. And who could blame him if he did? 
If you were a different woman, you’d probably have shed a few embarrassed tears in the solitude of your room, but that wasn’t you. Not anymore. So you rub your eyes once again, and get back to work.
You’re back to staring at a tax filing by the company’s CEO from seventeen years ago when a notification pops up at the top of your screen.
Unknown Number
hey! its rose! i got ur number from when you called the shop lol hope thats not creepy
i was wondering if ur busy tonight? i was thinking of getting drinks w/ some friends at Kanata’s! wanna come? i can pick u up since ur ride is chopped ;)
You blink back at the notification. Drinks? At Kanata’s? 
You can’t remember the last time you actually went out with a group of friends, especially for fun. Taking clients you and Kylo were wooing out to dinner was a common occurrence. But fun? They were never.
Another wave of anxiety washes over you. Friends? Who were these friends? Would they like you? Did you know them? Maybe it would be better to just stay and finish your work. Nothing could go wrong if you did that.
You open the message, absolutely ready to type an excuse why you can’t come, when there’s a gentle knock at your door. You already recognize it as your mother by the way she knocks even before she calls out gently. 
“Love? You in there?”
“I’m here.” You leave your voice flat and emotionless. You need her to know you’re still mad.
“Can… Can I come in?” 
‘No’ dances on the tip of your tongue for a strong moment, but the uncertainty in her soft voice gives you pause. 
“...Okay.”
The door clicks open slowly and your mother pokes her head in, a small, nervous smile affecting her features. You only look at her blankly from your nest of blankets and pillows that have been on your bed since high school.
She steps more fully into the room, closing the door behind her most of the way. She leaves it open just a little, giving the both of you some air to breathe, but also, in a way, making sure not to lock herself in a cage with a wounded animal. 
And she approaches you like one–cautious, hands visible and apologetic. You huff, curled up in the corner of your bed, and try to look anywhere but at her. But she’s hard to avoid as she sits gently on the far edge of your bed and pulls her hands into her lap, looking down and rolling them over one another contemplatively. You two sit like this for a moment, simmering in the uncomfortable tension, but like hell you’re the one with anything to apologize for. 
She lets out a deep sigh. “I’m… so, so sorry… about my behavior last night. I suppose I just… wasn’t handling your absence as well as I thought I was.”
Despite the small sorrow your heart finds at her small and broken tone, the anger–rage even– that has been boiling since the night before claws desperately to be let out. You breathe deeply, and do your best to keep it still in its place. But that doesn’t exclude the fury that seeps into your quiet voice, as you level your gaze with hers.
“Mom, that was the most embarrassing thing that has happened to me in my entire professional career. I need you to know this.”
She nods understandingly and looks back to her fiddling hands. “Yes. I know. And I couldn’t be sorry enough. I realized...I– I don’t know how to be your mother anymore.” You blink at this. A terrible lurch in your gut crawls into your throat at the sight of the tears silently beginning their descent down her cheeks. “I don’t know what to do for you when you're a grown woman who’s accomplished so much on her own without me. I miss you, but I’m not really sure I know you anymore.”
She looks up suddenly at you, her face twisted with grief and regret.
“I didn’t mean it like that… I-”
You stop her, shaking your head, swallowing the lump in your throat, willing the sudden strange wetness in your eyes away. Your voice comes out more choked up than you wish. But whatever wall was up is quickly crumbling away.
“No… Mom, I think I understand.” You look down at your own hands now, picking at your nails nervously, silently discovering the lineage of this habit of yours. You smile sadly at the thought. “I feel that way too sometimes… about myself.”
“Oh, love.” Your mother reaches out, placing her hand on your foot, the only part of you she can reach, and squeezes it gently. She smiles sweetly, her eyes and cheeks still wet, though she’s wiped away the tears.
“You’re not my little girl anymore… but you’re still my daughter, and I’ll love you no matter what.”
You nod, suppressing a sniff as you rub at your nose. She squeezes your foot one more time before standing up and making her way back to the door. She reaches for the handle when you call out. 
“I love you, Mom.”
The smile she sends you is genuine, heartfelt, and warming to your core. It makes you realize how much you truly missed your mother, even if she had her difficulties. “I love you too, girlie.”
With that, she closes the door, leaving you alone with your tablet and the unanswered message. But you know your response now. 
Me
Sounds fun! Let me know what time. I’d love to come, if you’ll have me.
You begin entering Rose’s information into your contacts and her response is almost immediate.
Rose Tico
duuuh! ill get u at like 8ish? and we’ll meet them there! cant wait!
You look down at the message and can’t help but feel a little more at home. 
______________
 You run a hand through your hair, adjusting your outfit for the hundredth time. You’ve opted for something more casual tonight. Something a little more friendly, approachable. You suddenly frown at your reflection. You don’t need these people’s approval. Well, no. But it wouldn’t be so bad to be friendly for once would it?
The two voices in your head continue to battle it out, leaving you frozen in the mirror, desperately trying to understand how you feel in this moment. Anxious? Perhaps. Regretful of accepting this invitation? Maybe. 
Your phone chirps, lighting up on your desk. Glancing over, you see it’s Rose. You don’t need to read it to know it’s just her announcing her arrival, but you pick it up anyway, settling down on your bed and slipping on your shoes as you open the message.
Rose Tico
here!!! right in front lol
Me
One moment!
You lace up your boots quickly, practically sprinting out of your room and down the stairs, snatching up your long coat on the way. 
“I’m headed out, I won’t be back until you guys are already in bed. So, goodnight.”
You call out to the living room as you pull on the coat, your parents turning from their seats on the couch, eyeing you with interest.
“And where are you going this late, young lady?” Your father questions sarcastically, raising an eyebrow.
“Out with friends,” you rush, already halfway out the door, spotting Rose in her car and giving a small wave. “Love you, bye!”
Half-jogging down the steps, you cross quickly but cautiously through the snow-laden yard, careful not to slip. As you close the gate behind you, Rose is already opening the passenger door from the inside, beckoning you in.
“Get inside, it’s freezing!”
You allow yourself a small laugh and slide into the seat next to her. Pulling the door closed, you look around, taking in the space of the car, as she starts it back up and pulls away from the curb. 
Like most things in The Base, it’s worn and old, peeling and chafed, likely held together with duct tape and love. But despite all of its imperfections, it’s not only comfortable, it’s cozy. It’s warm and personal, every dent containing a story, every mile meaningful. 
You can’t help but think back to the chill rigid efficiency of your TIE. Sure, it gets the job done, and is mighty stylish while it does so, but you’ve never felt like it was yours. Never felt anything but cool indifference for its sleek lines and dark exterior. 
“So, you’re looking snazzy tonight.” Rose pulls you out of your thoughts with her cheery tone. 
You look down at your outfit, once again tugging at its hems. 
“Am I? I was actually trying to dress down.”
She laughs at that. “You think that’s dressing down? No way, this is dressing down.” She takes one hand off the wheel, gesturing at her own attire: A brown button-up with a sewn name tag and a pair of dark cargo pants. Likely the uniform she wore to work today. Her cool attitude and smooth voice put you at ease, and you can feel your guard begin to lower. 
“I like this on you,” you quietly praise. You pick at your nails, continuing, “Don’t take this the wrong way, please, but… I admire that you can wear clothes like that and feel comfortable. I feel like I have to dress up all the time, no matter what. I don’t know… I- Nevermind.”
You look up at Rose and she pulls her eyes away from the road for a moment to give you a meaningful look. She nods sympathetically, her previous lightness replaced by understanding. She realizes the weight of this seemingly minor admission.
“I get it, I do.” She gives you a soothing smile. “I just hope you can feel comfortable here… with us. We like having you back, even if just for a moment.”
Still smiling, she turns back to the wheel with a light shrug. “Plus, this isn’t Canto Bight. You’ll look great no matter what.”
You groan, half sardonic, half-serious. “Oh, please don’t remind me. You know, I thought I was a vulture, but those people,” you give an audible shiver. “They’re something else.”
Rose laughs melodically. “Oh, do tell.”
______________
 The ride to the bar is short, the car only really needed for warmth, but the company is appreciated. Rose laughs along to your story of once attempting to cover for Kylo’s drunken rage in front of investors, and while it was a very unamusing situation at the time, you find yourself chuckling with her. 
“Well, that’s why we don’t let him have Bespin Fizzes anymore.”
Rose giggles at that, before piping up in her seat a little. “There it is!”
The bar comes into view just ahead, a familiar neon sign reading Kanata’s hanging overhead a small brick building. The parking lot is compact, but practically full, reminding you just how small the town is, as Kanata’s is the only real bar in the whole Base, and as such, is the town’s favorite happy hour hangout. 
She leans up the dashboard, pointing to an old, grey, junky Corellian that’s as familiar to the town as the bar. 
“There’s the Falcon,” she points out with a smile, though you don’t need her to tell which car it is. “They’re here.”
You nod, smiling at the old hunk of junk fondly, before suddenly realizing what the Falcon’s presence implies. She pulls up to the spot next to it as you turn to her.
“Wait, we’re getting drinks with Han? ” You try not to sound upset, only curious, but Rose reads your panic easily. 
“No, silly,” she giggles, and seems to dodge the question, stepping out of the car. You quickly follow behind, stepping out into the chill night air. Closing the doors, Rose rounds the car and you trail next to her, past the Falcon and towards the bar's entrance. She continues her explanation without you having to ask. 
“About five years ago, Han gave the Falcon away.”
“He gave it away? Why would he do that? To who?” 
She pushes open the door, leading you into the dimly lit bar, which you only now realize with its unfamiliar interior, that you never stuck around to be old enough to actually enter it. The lights are low, yellow and red, but not unwelcoming, in fact creating a warm atmosphere. It’s brightest around the bar itself, with neon and string lights, as patrons sit on the stools, chatting over the low playing jukebox on the far side of the room. Near it are a couple of pool tables, busy with players in the middle of games. A few locals drink in booths against the walls, however Rose leads you towards the high tables and stools in the middle of the room. You’re scanning the bar for anyone you recognize when you finally see where she’s leading you– to the only couple occupying the tables, and your heart drops into your stomach as your fight or flight instinct kicks in. 
“To them!” Rose points but once again you don’t need her helpful hand to see what you need to.
At the table is a girl you don’t recognize with a sweet face and dark hair, but it’s the familiar face next to her that makes you want to run.
Finn, your old classmate, but more importantly your old employee, sits smiling and laughing, casual as anything. You knew Finn left First Order – on very bad terms, one would be remiss to forget – after a fateful trip home for somewhere less cutthroat and competitive, but you thought that meant somewhere like Alderaan. You didn’t think he’d come back, and you certainly didn’t think you’d actually see him here.  
Rose doesn’t notice your hesitation, continuing to pull you forward and calling out to her friends. She catches their attention, waving, and you brace for the moment of impact. 
Finn is going to be mad that you’re here. He’s going to be furious. He’s going to stand up and yell at Rose about how awful of a person you are and make sure nobody in this town will even so much as smile at you ever again. He’s going to laugh in your face and tell you to go back to Coruscant and you’ll do it because you’re so deeply embarrassed.
The girl turns first, smiling and waving back at Rose. She grins brightly at you as well, obviously unfamiliar but still friendly. Finn turns second with an easy expression, glancing at you briefly before doing a double-take. His face falls, but not into anger like you expect. It drops to confusion, like he’s making sure it’s you, which then turns into half-smug disbelief, a bewildered smile taking over his features. 
Finn speaks first. “No-freaking-way.”
Tension still wracks your body as he steps off the stool, meeting you and Rose in front of the table. Rose looks between the two of you before dropping your hand and covering her eyes.
“Oh my God, I totally forgot about the whole…” She looks to you apologetically, not towards Finn, which confuses you. “I’m so sorry I forgot to say.”
“No, I- it’s okay. I just hope I’m not intruding.” It seems that this town just loves to leave you at a loss for words.
Finn laughs, seemingly completely at ease. “Not unless you’re here to talk about work. Or to try to win me back.”
“God, no. Not that we wouldn’t love to have you back but,” you glance quickly at the friendly girl still sitting at the table, obviously confused. “I understand that you’re much happier here.”
“That I am.”
“Then that’s all I care about.”
Rose absolutely buzzes with energy at the exchange. “Yay! So we’re all still friends and everything?” Her hands are clasped and her hopeful eyes flicker back and forth between the two of you. 
You turn your gaze back to Finn, hoping that you look as genuine as he does. “I hope so.”
“I don’t see any reason why not,” He smiles warmly at you, offering his hand. “Besides, you weren’t exactly the one that left me with a bad taste in my mouth.”
You take his hand easily, and just barely manage to quell your surprise when he uses it to tug you into a warm hug. The recent bombardment of hugs you’ve received in the past few days is the only thing that gets your arms moving properly, wrapping loosely around Finn for a moment before you part. 
As you pull back, an awkwardness comes to hang in the air as a silence settles between the four of you. You suddenly remember the girl at the table seemingly the same moment that Finn does. He pipes up, turning towards her and half leading you to the table where they were sitting. 
“Right, uh, Rey, I’d like you to meet an old friend of mine.” 
You extend a hand and introduce yourself to the woman, Rey, and she lets out an awkward laugh as she takes it. “It’s a pleasure to meet you. I was a bit, erm, hesitant to intrude on the moment. Seems like there’s a lot of history going on here.”
“Oh, you have no idea,” Finn laughs before his nose scrunches up in thought. “Actually, you might have some idea. You know the place I used to work before we met?”
Rey’s face twists in disgust. “You mean that awful tech company? God, you couldn’t stop talking about how awful it was for almost a year. Must’ve been terrible. Did you work there too?” 
She looks to you as your cheeks heat up and you can't help the grimace that creeps into your expression. “I actually still do.” 
Finn opens his mouth but Rey beats him to it. “Oh no, that must be awful. What do you do? Get yelled at all day by some tall blonde woman like Finn did?” She chuckles at her own joke, but she’s the only one. Finn and Rose look like they’d rather be anywhere else. Probably at the bar. With strong drinks. Yet, you feel a chill indifference wash over you. The one you feel whenever you walk through the doors of the First Order offices and meetings. 
“Actually I’m the COO.”
Rey’s jaw slackens with the shock, mouth starting and stopping any words she attempts to get out. “I… I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean it that way.” Finn has his head fully in his hands and Rose looks like she might die. But you smile softly.
“It’s okay. I’ve heard far worse before. From people whose opinions were far more important.”
The urge to storm out tugs at your gut but your feet stay planted. It’s strange. You’re not quite sure what emotion it is that you’re feeling exactly. There’s anger, but it’s the blow to your pride that fuels it. There’s certainly embarrassment. Mostly, you realize it’s guilt. Guilt that the company you worked so hard to build has hurt people - people that you care about. You knew it happened, probably every day, probably right at this moment, but being faced with the conversations that people must be having behind your back… It hurts. It hurts in many directions. 
“Drinks!” Rose chirps loudly, desperate to break the tension. “I’ll go get us some drinks!”
She spins on a dime and immediately heads towards the bar. Looking between you and Rey, Finn gulps. “She’ll probably need some… help with those…” He’s immediately out of his chair and trailing behind Rose. 
Rey sits quietly, a thoughtful look on her face as you finally take a seat on the stool across from her. The silence hangs for a moment as the jukebox croons quietly in the background. 
“I really didn’t mean it that way,” Rey starts quietly. “It’s just…” She leans towards you, elbows resting in front of her on the table. Her eyes are earnest, kindness pouring forth. “Finn was miserable when we met in Jakku. Work was stressing him out to no end, but mostly… he felt like he was hurting people. He had a stable and successful job but… what did it cost him? All he ever wanted to do was help people.” She sighs, and a small smile tugs at her lips. “I like to think I helped him, but really, he knew all along what he had to do. I’m so grateful that we’re both here now, working with the kids, helping people where it feels like it really matters. I can’t speak for you, but it sounds like you’re proud of your company, and I’m glad but… It just wasn’t right for Finn. I hope I haven’t offended you.”
You’re momentarily stunned by her small speech. Not just the words but her honesty. You can tell from the tone of her voice just how much she cares for Finn and how much she believes in their cause. You find a small stain on the table, gazing at it intensely in thought. You’ve just wanted to help people too, all your life, but making something of yourself always came first it seemed. You told yourself you were helping people, creating new things that made so many people’s lives easier, donating intensely to charities, but how many people were you hurting on the way? How many times can you tell yourself that some eggs must be cracked to make an omelette? How many people have you screwed over, blackmailed, and outright stolen from? How many shady people have you bought from or sold to? How many things have you ignored or swept under the carpet just to keep business running as usual?
“If it helps… Finn always spoke highly of you.” 
You look up as Rey draws you out of your thoughts, something she obviously picks up on going by her smile. 
“Well… He’s a good man. A good friend before he was an employee… I didn’t mean what I said either - about your opinion not mattering. That’s not true, I just…” You trail off, but look up to find comfort and forgiveness in her warm expression. You give her a small genuine smile of your own. “Maybe we should just start over.”
You extend a hand, introducing yourself and she does the same, laughing lightly as she does so. At that moment, Rose and Finn come shuffling over, each balancing a tray with a few colorful drinks and rounds of shots. Placing the trays on the table, Finn eyes your smiles and parting hands. 
“Are you guys… Is everything good now?”
You nod, laughing. “Yes, I think we just got off on the wrong foot.”
“And we’re just here to have a good time and hang out - no work talk.” Rey winks at Finn. He lets out a hearty laugh, clapping you two on the back. 
“Oh, you two are good.”
“Actually, there’s one more thing,” Rose cuts in. She looks absolutely tickled pink, poorly suppressing her roguish grin. Finn and Rey raise an eyebrow in unison, seemingly used to this behavior. 
Rose giggles, “I invited Poe!” 
You instantly feel your heart rate pick up and a gentle heat rise in your cheeks, but it seems your the only one excited about this development. Rey only sighs with an unamused laugh. Rolling his eyes, Finn shakes his head, “That’s not exactly a surprise.” He turns to you. “She invites him out every time. And every time he says no. ‘Too busy.’”
“He never just relaxes,” Rey chimes in. “We’re constantly inviting him out, even inviting ourselves into the shop occasionally, but he’s just so dedicated to his work. It’d be admirable if it wasn’t so annoying.”
“Yeah yeah yeah,” Rose waves her hands around, as if attempting to dispel the negative comments in the air before they reach you. “BUT… I told him a certain special someone was gonna be here!” 
Finn and Rey both turn to you, Rey holding an expression of curiosity and Finn looking at you with new eyes, the gears turning almost visibly in his head. Did she mean you? Everyone seems to be looking at you expectantly so… she must be. Sure, Poe seems to like you well enough but… This is behavior that seems to have been going on for years. How could your presence possibly change that?
“Wh- Me?” You ask, turning to Rose at a sudden loss for words. “Why- What makes me special?”
Rose rolls her eyes so hard her head can’t help but follow. “You are so oblivious. And so special.”
Finn nods, with a grin you can only describe as ‘shit-eating.’ 
“Of course.” He bites his lip deviously. “This is gonna be so fun.”
“Really wha-”
You’re cut off by the sound of the blowing snow and wind as the door creaks open behind you. As if on cue, each of your heads swivel to the entrance to see the door swinging shut behind Poe shaking the snowflakes out of his hair, cheeks ruddy from the outside cold. He looks up from tugging his gloves off to see the four of you gawking at him. If he can tell he just walked in on a discussion of himself, he doesn’t show it. He practically beams at the four of you, but lets his eyes settle on yours.
“Hey guys.”
“This is gonna be so fun,” You hear Finn whisper behind you. 
You fail miserably at trying to hide your smile, but you know it’s for the best. 
______________
 “God, I know it’s embarrassing but... that’s so funny.” Rey chuckles with red cheeks, thoroughly amused.
“But it’s so embarrassing,” You exclaim, a little louder than you’re usually comfortable with but the drinks you’ve been slowly consuming for the past two hours have loosened your tongue just a bit. 
Finn continues to shake his head in laughter. “I do love your mom, though. I wanna thank her for that one. A proper Base welcome.”
“C’mon, it really wasn’t so bad,” Poe laughs. 
Once he’d arrived, everyone made quick work of getting him a drink and dragging over a stool, planting him firmly and snuggly between you and Rose. Small pleasantries and catching up eventually turned into you and Poe recounting the previous night's dinner and conversation at the strong behest of the rest of the group. It mostly consisted of you complaining and apologizing to Poe and him simply laughing it off, attempting to placate your worries. Finn, Rey, and Rose simply watched in entertainment, soaking up every juicy detail. 
“Really, you have to stop beating yourself up about it. You’ll drive yourself insane.” Poe places a hand on your shoulder, sending a little shiver of electricity through your body that you desperately try to curb. You look down at his hand on your shoulder and are struck with the desire to see it as often as possible. Meeting his eyes, they are warm and kind and cause you to immediately lose whatever it was you were going to just say. You are now very aware of just how buzzed you are. 
“I’ll… I’ll try.” You give him a small smile and he accepts it readily, his own smile growing. Over your shoulder, Finn must catch his eye because he swiftly turns his head back to his drink on the table and clears his throat. His hand gives you a small pat and quickly retreats back to his lap. His hand makes a loose fist and you miss its warmth. 
“Well,” Rose starts. “It’s getting late and I am so beat. I should get going.” 
Rose gives a meaningful glance at Finn and Rey, “Isn’t it a school night? You guys should get going too. Don’t want to have to show a video tomorrow.”
Finn’s eyes widen a bit and Rey nods fervently. 
“Yes, absolutely. You’re so right, Rose.” Finn begins standing up from his stool. “C’mon, Rey, we should be off.”
Those fucking conspirators. You know you should be grateful - they’re trying very hard to set you up with your high school crush - but all you can feel is panic. You’re an expert at talking to people, from brokering deals to conducting yourself in interviews and even giving presentations, you’ve trained and practiced in the art of discussion. But for some reason, just being in the same room as Poe makes your brain short circuit. Your mind constantly pulls back and forth whether to close off and shut him out or loosen up and actually let him in. It’s barely been three days but it feels like so much longer. And that’s terrifying.
“Uh-Wh- Are you guys okay to drive?” You sputter.
Finn sends you a reassuring smile as he grabs Rey by the shoulders, “Rey might not be in any state to drive, but I’m totally fine. I’ve had maybe two drinks in the past couple hours. Don’t worry.” 
Rose is off her stool too, gathering her coat. “Could you maybe drop me off too? I’d just walk but it’s so damn cold.”
“No problem, Rose.”
“What about me? I’m supposed to walk then?” You interject, flustered. “Rose, you drove me here.”
Rose gives an exaggerated look of cluelessness, giving you a shrug before looking over at Poe.
Breaking his momentary silence, Poe gives you a nod. “Yeah, I can give you a ride if you want.” 
You can only nod along. “Yeah, that sounds good. Thank you.”
Rose lets out a little squeal, scrambling over to give you a kiss on the cheek and skip out the door, calling out goodbyes over her shoulder. You can’t help but roll your eyes and laugh along with Finn and Rey, both of them giving you and Poe sidehugs before taking their exit as well. 
As the doors swing shut and the silence between you settles, you glance around at the bar. There are about half as many people as there were a few hours ago but the place doesn’t feel empty by any means. The few patrons still mill about, some playing pool, some chatting at the bar. You sigh contently at the sight, something Poe catches as he watches you.
“Good to be home?”
You look over, momentarily studying his handsome features in the warm lights as you try to figure out how to answer his question. 
“I don’t know. Like I said before, it’s not really home. And yet it is.”
He nods, thinking for a second. “But are you happy to be here?”
You eye him, a small smile tugging at your lips. “I’m starting to be.”
“Well, I’ll drink to that.” He grins, holding up his bottle. You meet his with your own, both taking a swig with a smile.
As you settle your drinks back on the table, Poe leans over with a lowered voice. Your pulse thrums in your veins. “You know, I actually had a great time last night, so there’s nothing to worry about.”
You sigh with chagrin, momentarily closing your eyes to rub at the spot between your brows. 
“Well, I’m glad you had so much fun at my expense.” 
Poe leans away, shutting his eyes in his own embarrassment. 
“That’s not what I meant, I’m sorry.”
You chuckle lightly, a sound that gets Poe to open one eye before breaking into a smile, laughing with you. He leans in again, still smiling but a serious tone overtakes him.
“I really understand if you don’t want to talk about it but… What was your mother talking about… with Ben?”
You feel like a bucket of water has been dumped on you, ruining the easy-going mood you’d let slowly wash over you for the past few hours, but when you look at him, you can’t help but want to tell him everything.
“I just… I’ve only heard bits and pieces about what happened after you graduated. You really… disappeared.”
“Not disappeared,” you say quietly, with grit in your voice. “They just started paying attention to me somewhere else.”
“I paid attention to you,” Poe murmurs. When you catch his eye, he corrects himself. “I mean, we all did.”
You smile sadly, “Yeah, this is different.”
Poe gently knocks your shoulder with his, making you let out a snicker. Glancing over, Poe levels you with a genuine look, with soft eyes and a smile. “I get the feeling you don’t talk about your life often. So, tell me about it.”
He’s right. You never talk about your life, you certainly never regale your story to whoever asks. Doing that requires you to be vulnerable, it requires self-reflection and introspection. It requires you to think about things that you’ve long locked away inside. But… 
“Well, I’m not sure how well you remember, or if you ever noticed but… no one ever really talked to me. Then one day, Ben did. No one ever really talked to him either, so we made a fast pair. He was odd... but he was a real friend to me. I wouldn’t have traded that for anything.”
Poe nods understandably, encouraging you to keep going. 
“We decided to stick together. We got into Imperial University together and got out as quickly as we could. Neither of us… We couldn’t stay here, not with what we planned on doing with our lives. This town… it just wasn’t for us.”
“Yeah, I hear that a lot. I get that, too.” Poe takes a drink.
“You do?”
He laughs softly. “Yeah, but that’s a story for another time. Keep going.”
“We learned at school that we worked really well together. Our mentor Snoke realized that, too. He led us, taught us, molded us. He helped us build our company, First Order Tech. He was our first investor, he still sits on the board of directors. Kylo… Ben may be the CEO, but Snoke is still in charge of both of us to this day. It’s our company, we created it from the ground up but… We still bow to him.”
You shake your head. Time for the hard part. Might as well get it out quick and easy.
“Somewhere along the way… I don’t know if it was love. It wasn’t love how it should be - I can tell you that. But, Ben and I… were together. And then he proposed. I don’t think it was because he wanted to. I think he just thought… he was supposed to. Just the natural progression of our lives, I guess.”
You don’t realize you’re crying until the teardrops reach your chin, where they hang heavily before dropping onto your lap. You quickly wipe them away, as Poe once again places a hand on your back, but this time it stays there, his thumb rubbing comfortably back and forth.
“You don’t have to talk about this if you don’t want to. It’s okay.”
“I just,” You sniffle, wiping your nose. Way to break down just as he was warming up to you, kiddo. “I’ve never talked about this before, not really. I don’t even think I’ve ever cried over this before.”
“Anyway, I somehow became lucid enough to call it off a few months before the wedding.” 
You sniff wetly and press the backs of your hands to your eyes, your makeup no doubt ruined by now. Poe’s thumb keeps its motion.
“I just wanted it so bad,” Your voice cracks. The lump that had been caught in your throat breaks free in the form of a sob. “I let myself be blind because I…”
Your hands are shaking and tears run freely down your face.
“I wanted to be loved. And I thought that’s how I would get it. But I woke up.” 
You drop your hands onto the table, taking a deep breath to steady yourself. You clench your fists and your voice no longer trembles.
“And I’m glad I did. We’re both better people for it.”
Only now do you chance a look at Poe. You had kept your gaze down, too scared to find what his expression might be, too scared to read his thoughts on his face. But his hand had stayed planted, comforting you. That had to mean something, right?
Looking up, you see only his warm gaze that had assured you deeply enough to get you talking in the first place. It carries a sadness, a kind of worry in the crease between his slightly upturned brows. But you find no disgust. No pity. 
“I wish I knew what to say.”
You chuckle wetly, “You don’t have to say anything. I understand that it’s a lot.”
His hand makes a broad stroke across your back as he leans in once again. 
“There’s actually a lot of things I want to say, but I’m sure you’d hate all of them considering they all sound like condescending things your mom has probably said to you over the years.”
A genuine laugh bubbles out of you at this, a bright smile pulling up your wet mascara stained cheeks. Seeing this, Poe can’t help a smile of his own.
“Things like ‘you’re so brave’ and ‘you poor thing’?” You giggle.
He chuckles, “Yeah something like that, the usuals.”
“Well thank you for sparing me.”
“No problem.” He pauses for a moment. “But really, thank you for telling me.”
He sounds like he means it.
“Thank you for listening, Poe.”
And so do you.
You sit like that just for a moment, gazing at each other. You take in the small details, admiring the creases around his eyes, the shape of his jaw, the curls in his hair. He seems to be taking you in as well, his eyes flickering across your features. You see them linger on the stains of your cheeks, turning your head away subconsciously. 
“Ready to go?” He asks softly. 
You smile and nod, wiping at your nose with your sleeve. “Yeah, I think I’m ready.”
You wobble just a bit as you get up from your seat, but Poe’s hand is still there to steady you. It stays there as you walk to the door. Stepping out into the cold, you instinctively huddle against him, a move he readily accepts as you walk.
“I’m not always a sad drunk, I promise.”
You feel the rumble of his chest as he laughs gently at your small joke.
“Don’t worry. I believe you.”
The ride is comfortably silent, except for the low hum of the radio as you drive. Pulling up to your house, you want to say something, do something, to thank him for what he did tonight. For driving you home, for listening to you and comforting you as you practically sobbed in his arms, for coming to the bar at all, supposedly just because you were there. 
But you don’t do anything.
“I’ll see you around,” is all you say. 
You hear him swallow as he nods. “Yeah, I’ll… I’ll see you.”
When you finally slink upstairs and collapse in your bed, you still feel the phantom touch of Poe’s hand across your back. 
-
notes: Whew! Thank you SO much for reading and thanks to all the people who stuck around! It’s been such a long and hard year and I hope everyone is doing okay. I’m determined to make this year great and I hope you all will join me!
I understand it’s been forever so if you’re on the taglist and would like to taken off it, hit me up and I’ll totally understand - and if you’re not on the taglist and would like to be leave a reply or send me a message! love you all <3
taglist: @ikbenplant @jamesdeerest​​ @fortheloveoflamp @operation-spot @asianravenpuff @whovianayesha @ultrunning @nowheredreamer @honestlyjustwow​ @badwolf-212 (for some reason i can never tag you properly :( ) 
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thebiasrekkers · 4 years
Text
Make It Right [BTS Mafia!AU]
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Pairings: Jin x OC | Taehyung/Hoseok x OC | Yoongi/Jungkook x OC Genre: BTS Mafia!AU Warnings: Graphic Violence, Heavy Language, Angst, Smut, Slow Burn WC: 2996 “It’s always darkest before the dawn…” It’s a dog-eat-dog world in Seoul, South Korea. One has to dwell in the shadows in order to reach for the light. What are you willing to sacrifice in order to feel the sunlight on your face? What will it take to drag you back into darkness? How long will the journey be to make it right?
AO3 | WP
Chapter 07: Look Here
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"Us meeting isn’t just coincidence. Meeting you was what I wanted."
Anastasia took a deep breath as Jimin closed the doors behind her. When the soft click ensued, she stepped forward and noticed that the person sitting behind the large desk was not facing them. In fact, all she could see was the desk, the nameplate (which had traditional Chinese characters on it), and the back of the large leather chair. She cleared her throat in an attempt to get the person’s attention, but when there was no response, she decided to wait patiently until she was acknowledged.
This wasn’t America, after all.
Taking a moment to busy herself in the silence, Anastasia made a note of how big the office was. The floor was made of premium marble and the oak desk was clearly well-polished. There was a set of six black leather chairs, three on each side, around a black and marble topped coffee table. Another black leather chair sat at the head of the table just feet away from the desk situated on a slight riser from the rest. 
It was modestly decorated, dark green curtains framing a set of bay windows and French doors led to an outdoor balcony. A few pictures hung on the wall but there was a hand-embroidered image of a golden jackal situated on black canvas that was framed and hung over the desk. This kept her attention longer than it should have, but she couldn’t tear her gaze from it. Anastasia knew that she’d seen that before somewhere, but less ornate and less prominent. 
She could at least say that it was a lovely piece of artwork.
But where have I seen that from?
“Long time no see, Anastasia,” came a voice suddenly, knocking her out of her thoughts.
Even though she hadn’t meant to, a soft squeak escaped her as she felt her shoulders jump. Anastasia lifted her purse up to her chest, clutching it just a little bit tighter as her eyes focused on where the voice came from. Blinking at the back of the chair at the desk, she watched as it slowly turned. It was like a scene from The Godfather , and when the chair was fully turned around, there in the large leather chair was none other than Kim Seokjin. If he’d been holding a cat, he would have been Claw from Inspector Gadget and then she really would have fallen out.
“W-Wait a minute!” Her eyes practically bugged out of her skull. “Kim Seokjin-ssi, what are you doing here?!”
Pouty lips spread into a knowing smirk, his elbows resting on the arms of the chair while he steepled his fingers. “I work here.” He answered like she’d asked him a math question. “Or, rather, this is my company.”
Anastasia blinked rapidly, her lips opening and closing as a few stammering sounds spilled forth. “What did you say?”
His smile widened further. “I said that this is my company. I own Golden Star.”
She couldn’t believe it. There was no way that he was serious. Seokjin must have cashed in a favor and she was being played a fool. Someone was playing a prank on her! The Kim Seokjin that she knew was a gangster. All of his friends, the ones he called his brothers, were all gangsters. Weren’t they all running around trying to make a name for themselves, getting themselves caught up in the streets?
Her eyes lifted to spy at the art piece of the golden jackal. Their gang was known as The Golden Jackals. Anyone who was even remotely aware of the underground circuit knew of them and was also aware that they were an up and coming group. Their domain was the street, though. At least that was what Jungkook told her when they were still together before they ended their relationship.
So what had changed in that short amount of time? Had they been working on building toward this even back then?
Anastasia suddenly remembered why she was there. She was supposed to undergo an interview to see if she was qualified to be a financial advisor for another company. Not that she had anything against the stock exchange firm she was currently employed with. But she knew that there was limited room for her to grow and to really showcase her skills. Coming from a background that lacked money taught her how to utilize funds and how to properly shift one’s finances to benefit a company and to encourage its growth. This was her chance to finally climb higher and to stabilize herself without worrying about living from paycheck to paycheck.  
But this? There was no way she could have prepared herself for this.
Her moment of shock started to ebb away and she took a breath. Anastasia’s eyes narrowed and she frowned. “No.” 
Seokjin’s smile fell as he canted his head slightly. “What?”
“No way.” She pivoted on her heels and made her way toward the door. “There is absolutely no fucking way .” 
Her hand landed on the door and she began to pull. However, instead of wrenching the door open like she’d anticipated, it held; resisting against her. For a second, all she did was blink - staring at her hand in disbelief. Had she been locked in? Again, she pulled - harder this time, and again, she was met with resistance. 
“What in the hell?” Anastasia began pulling more aggressively, using both hands and all the door did was rattle in response. “What the hell is happening?!” She swiveled around, ready to ream into Seokjin when she saw he was directly behind her. Anastasia let out a scream, pressing a hand to her chest as her back slammed into the door. “Wh-Wh-What do you think you’re doing?!”
Seokjin leaned forward, peering into her face. Her cheeks flushed and she mentally kicked herself for her own body reacting involuntarily. She wasn’t sure if it was because he was so close to her or if it was because she was halfway down the road of embarrassing herself. Or was she already there? Well, whatever the case, Anastasia didn’t appreciate him invading her personal space like that.
“I don’t know what’s funnier,” he said slowly, his eyes never leaving hers, “the fact that you’re spazzing out for no reason or that you’re pulling on a door that you’re supposed to be pushing on.”
“Huh?” 
What had he just said? 
Seokjin reached forward, gripping the handle of the door and he pressed the latch situated at the top. With a gentle push, the door swayed open. Anastasia peered over her shoulder and saw Jimin sitting on the waiting bench, thoroughly engrossed on whatever was on his phone. When the door opened, he looked up and then smiled - giving a pleasant wave to the two of them before going back to his phone. 
All she could do was blink in both parts amazement and disbelief. 
When it looked like Jimin wasn’t going to intervene, she saw Seokjin moving out of the corner of her eye. He reached forward, grabbed the handle, and then pulled the door closed. Anastasia felt it brush against her shoulder blade, her eyes never leaving Seokjin’s profile even as the door closed with a soft click . His arm lingered there a moment longer before he straightened up to his full height. Some of his hair fell across his brow line and the lump that was unknowingly forming in her throat made her even more aware of their close proximity.
Seokjin normally wasn’t the type to invade another person’s bubble like this. At least from what she knew and of the few times they interacted with one another.
Finally, his smile returned and he looked at her. “Now then,” he began, turning to the side and gesturing toward the array of leather chairs with a wide flourish, “if you’d be so kind, can we get this little meeting underway?”
She felt his hand resting at her lower back and Anastasia’s legs moved unconsciously. What in the world was happening, exactly? Well, she couldn’t be sure. But before she could issue a protest, she was sitting at the chair closest to the one at the head of the table. 
“Can I offer you something to drink?” he asked, already making his way toward the area where various liquor decanters were situated. 
“Bourbon if you’ve got it. Whiskey if you don’t.” 
He chuckled while setting aside two glasses. “And if I have neither?”
“Vodka.”
This elicited a sudden laugh from Seokjin and he came back to the table, holding out the glass containing the amber liquid. Two cubes of ice were inside the tumbler and she looked at it before lifting her gaze to give him a curious look. He settled into the chair, his own glass filled with a similarly colored drink. His contained no ice. 
“I remembered that you’re a fan of bourbon. I was just teasing.”
Anastasia pouted, taking a ginger sip of alcohol while secretly thanking him for remembering to pour her drink on the rocks. After taking a moment to appreciate the smoothness of the booze, she set the glass down on the wooden coaster. She crossed one leg over the other, not caring that the toe of her shoe was brushing up against one of the table legs.
“Seokjin-ssi,” she said, her tone as serious as she could manage. He raised a brow at her as he drank. “What is this all about?”
He swallowed, setting his glass down. “I thought you knew what this was about. Isn’t that why you came out here?”
“I came because I was called about a financial advisor position.”
“Well, that certainly hasn’t changed, so what’s the issue?”
Anastasia felt the vein near her temple throbbing. “The issue is that I didn’t know this was your company!” 
“Is that a problem?” He smirked. “I didn’t realize me being the boss was a problem for you.”
“It’s not about you, dammit!” she snapped, her neck flaring up with the steady rise of her anger. “You know of my history with Jungkook and it’s not like I’m completely ignorant to who you guys are.”
Seokjin’s smile fell just a fraction. A thoughtful expression soon replaced it as he crossed his legs. “I thought you and Jungkook broke up mutually and are still on good terms.” He looked at her, a single brow raising. “Is that not the case?”
“Well, no, we’re still friends...but--”
“And if it’s the background you’re worried about, you can do some digging if you’d like. Golden Star is a legitimate company, Anastasia.”
“That’s not--”
“Then I guess I’m failing to see what the problem is.” Seokjin folded his hands in his lap. “Care to enlighten me?”
For one of the few times in her life, Anastasia actually had no words. None. It wasn’t like she despised the company of the Golden Jackals. She mostly hung out with Jungkook, Taehyung and Jimin. She could confidently say that they were her friends. Namjoon and Hoseok were nice and Seokjin was always a polite gentleman toward her. There was no real reason for her to be on the defensive.
And yet she still felt like she’d been suckerpunched in the stomach.
She sighed, her hostility deflating as she sank back in the plush leather chair. “Why me?”
Seokjin’s smile returned. “Why not you?”
She scoffed. She couldn’t help herself. “Oh, don’t give me that, Seokjin. You could hire anyone. Especially if you can afford to run your business out of a building like this. It’s almost as big as the company I work for.” Anastasia gave him a pointed look. “I’m one of hundreds of office workers. I literally work from a freaking cubicle. I’m a damn dime a dozen.” Her accent was coming out and she hated it, but she knew that once she got rolling, there was no stopping her. “So why me , Seokjin-ah?”
Anastasia was a professional 99% of the time. It was very rare that she wasn’t, especially when it came to her work. But when the polite form of address was dropped, when honorifics and protocol were thrown out the window, it was when she meant business. She loved her job and she loved the country she was now living in. If it was one thing she wasn’t about to do, it was jeopardize any of that for any reason at any time and not for any one .
A moment of silence passed between them and Seokjin’s arms moved to rest on the arms of the chair. He steepled his fingers again, pressing them against his lips. Anastasia watched him as he tried to formulate the words that she needed to hear. If it was something she wasn’t okay with, her plan was to walk straight out of that office and not look back. Her career meant everything to her. Stability meant everything to her.
She wasn’t in the business of taking risks for no damn reason.
“You’re driven, Anastasia. You’ve always been like that.” He looked at her and she felt her fingers curling into the fabric of her dress pants. “The company you’ve been working for doesn’t know what to do with you. You’ve been with them for five years and three of those five years have been spent here. It’s unheard of for employees starting out to get reassigned to other countries. You’ve clearly got ambition.”
Warmth touched her cheeks and she wasn’t sure what to make of what he was saying. Were they compliments? He wasn’t trying to pull a fast one on her. It simply sounded like he was stating the facts. 
She remained silent as he continued.
“But you’ve hit a point where you’re not going to be able to move forward. You’re smarter than half of your co-workers but because you lack a certain set of connections, you’re at an impasse. You can’t move ahead and you can’t just go back.” Seokjin paused, his smile returning. “What if I told you that you wouldn’t have to worry about that here? I need someone who can keep this company financially on track but who also isn’t afraid to make a few risky moves if it means turning a higher profit.”
His offer was enticing. How could it not be? But while she was in the business of taking risks, that didn’t mean she was going to step out on thin ice if she was confident enough to swim in freezing waters. 
Reaching for her glass, she tried to appear unimpressed with his words. “What’s the pay?” Anastasia pressed the glass to her lips, letting the alcohol gently touch her tongue.
“Ten thousand dollars the first month.”
A mist of alcohol sprayed from her mouth. Anastasia began coughing furiously, her hand slapping her chest in an attempt to open up her airways so she could breathe. When she was able to gather her senses, she looked at Seokjin with eyes as wide as saucers. 
“...what did you just say?”
“And you’ll be getting an additional ten thousand dollar signing bonus.” Seokjin winked. “But that’s because I like you.”
She frowned, coughing one last time as her eyes narrowed. “Stop playing around.”
“I am dead serious.” 
“You’re crazy.”
He shrugged. “I’ve been called that and then some, but I can promise you that I am very much within my right mind on this.” His eyes met hers, the smile gone from his face completely. “So, what do you say? You in or out?”
Anastasia picked up her drink and drained the glass. Once she was finished, she stood up from the seat and looked down at him. “You’re only getting one chance to draw up a proper contract. If it’s not to my satisfaction, you can forget it.”
Seokjin stood, one hand sliding into his pocket. “You’ve got yourself a deal.” He looked like he’d already won and this made the muscle at her jaw tick. “I’ll have it sent to your place and you can look over it at your leisure.”
“Fine.” She slipped her purse over her shoulder and made her way to the door. “You’ve got three days, Kim Seokjin-ssi.” 
Anastasia pushed the latch on the door handle and pushed this time, the door swaying open easily. Jimin seemed to be waiting on her and he slid his phone into his pocket. He smiled at her cheerfully and she immediately puffed her cheeks out defiantly. Ignoring the arm he held out for her, she huffed her way down the hall. 
“I’ll see you in three days, Anastasia D’Angelo,” called Seokjin from down the hall. 
Jimin caught up with her and pressed the button to call the elevator. She knew she wouldn’t be able to get back downstairs without his clearance. But that was the only reason she was even waiting on him. As they stepped into the elevator, she saw Seokjin still standing in the doorway of his office. Just before the doors closed, Anastasia stuck her tongue out at him and she had to ignore the way her heart thumped as he laughed - watching him disappear back into his office.
As Jimin swiped his card, he pressed the main floor button. “Did you have a good talk, Noona?”
She clicked her tongue against the roof of her mouth. “Don’t you start,” she warned and he laughed. “You’re in trouble.”
He nodded, holding his hands up in mock surrender. “Yes, yes, I know,” he said, gently bumping her shoulder with his own. “Can I buy you dinner to make up for it?”
She folded her arms across her chest and huffed. “Black Bean Noodles or it’s no deal.”
Jimin laughed. “It’s a deal!”
A sigh left her as she side-eyed him, wondering how she wound up in this situation. She certainly couldn’t be mad at Jimin. He was just doing his job. But this?
Well, this was just something she wasn’t really prepared for. But one thing was certain. She would know in three days what her answer was.
Anastasia could play nice until then.
10 notes · View notes
reddogf13 · 4 years
Text
Escape: To Salvation Ch: 8
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Blake X Val
Summery: Blake wakes up in the hell town known as Templegate. confused and alone he must fight through both his past and present for his future. however, hallucinations of festering demons haunt him along with something else more of mortal blood. now he must fight to keep his nightmares and reality separate or succumb to the deadly wilds. however is he truly as alone as he feels in this world?  
status: complete
rated: M - fowl language, sensitive topics, and gore
previous chap: Escape: To Salvation CH:7
next chap: Escape: To Salvation CH:9
_____________________________________
~Ch:8 sickness~
“well, have you found anything?!” wicker yelled at the search party's who returned. “n-no sir-” one in a party stuttered. “no?! Then why the fuck are you here?! Your wasting time being here!” wicker roared at them. “w-we need to rest and eat. We can't-” the same one spoke again. “you can't work your not useful!” wicker spoke before shooting the worker through the skull. “none of you seemed to learn the first time that I wont accept failure! The remaining CEO is pissed about this and she won't hesitate to throw us all to the wolves! Don't come back! No eating or sleeping here unless you don't want to wake up! Maybe lack of both will motivate you to get this done faster.” he growled, adjusting his jaw midway. “get moving!” he roared, scaring the groups into fleeing back into the forest. Wicker rubbed his head to calm himself. until seeing the shot body made his blood boil. He kicked it multiple times with another shot fired into the bodies ribs. Already he felt like he was on the brink of a mental meltdown. The CEO thoroughly chewing him when he failed the task after morning came. Demotion she repeatedly told him. Commanding him to put someone else in charge, but he wouldn't. He smashed that radio with refusal to accept the punishment. He would succeed and no one will find out he was a lower rank then over half the workers he yelled at. “No one's going to kick me down from the CEO pedestal that i deserve.” he thought. Heading into his tent to look over the highly detailed land maps. Marking every different elevation, cave systems, cracks crevices to rivers and ponds. “have to be by the water. Cant survive the heat without it.” he growled at the map.
Blake was woken by Val helping him sit up against the wall. “wake up, you need to drink something.” she said to him. The words just getting in his fevered mind. “what?” he spoke confused. “here.” she said, carefully handing him a chunk of cactus. Blake taking a moment to study the thing handed to him. A rounded cactus piece with the spines removed and the plant hollowed to make a cup for the steaming liquid inside. A dark liquid with the lettuce shoots he had yesterday swirling in pieces along with other leaves he didn't recognize. “what's in this?” he asked. “wild lettuce, lavender, pumpkin leaves, mint and honey. It's a tea that you have to finish fast.” she told him. “so, what does it all do?” he asked, swirling the strange tea. Blowing on it to cool it for a sip. Getting an awkward amount of flavor with a hint similar to lemon from the shoots. “tastes better than it was.” he thought about the shoots, quickly swallowing the mouthfuls. “ lettuce is the painkiller that will keep you through the night. Lavender with help you sleep and get your nausea down so you won't vomit. Pumpkin leaves will handle the fever and swelling. The mint will soothe your sore throat. With the honey just to help the taste go down smoother.” she explained. “honey … where'd you get honey?” he asked. “you don't know where honey comes from?” she asked him with a interested puzzled look. Just like the time she realized Blake couldn't prepare a pumpkin. “i know where honey comes from, just where out here did you find it?!” he spoke, not appreciating the look. “you just look to the tree tops for a hanging golden hive. A buzzing sound means your getting closer. Getting it is the trickier part. Don't touch the closed hives. Only wasps live in those and they don't make honey.” Val informed him like a child. “i know that!” he snapped, chugging down the last of the strange tea. “just making sure. You don't seem to take care of yourself very well.” she said. Blake just now realizing that Val was doing something by the fire. The smell of cooking meat hitting him. “what are you making?” he said while leaning to the side to try and see. “rabbit.” she said, showing a long branch with two skewered skinless rabbits cooking. “they'll be done by the time your nausea fully goes away.” she continued. “ oh, … do you think I have an infection. It looks like I do.” he said, not wanting awkward silence to settle in. “no, its just trauma from the bites. Pushing on in the rain with those wounds did not help either. When the swelling goes down after dinner the wounds will be easier to handle.” she said. “do you have any other wounds?” she glared at him over her shoulder with a serious tone. “... I fell in a cactus patch … that's it.” he shamefully mumbled. Having Val roll her eyes back to the rabbits cooking. “ … you said kids got sick like me. What happened with them?” he quietly asked with curiosity. Knowing that the children Val looked over in the past was possibly a delicate subject. “... I warned them multiple times, but some didn't listen. … They tried to make friends with a porcupine. They didn't want me finding out about it so they treated themselves. It kept infection away, but they didn't remove the quills well enough.” Val spoke with varying expressions going from happy amusement to blank or momentary sadness at the memory. “ I found out when they started getting sick. the quills causing massive swelling followed by the skin turning dark. I was afraid I'd have to send them away like the other diseased, But after removing the quills and treating them over a few days they had gotten better.” she spoke. removing the rabbits from the fire to place them on a collection of large leaves in place of a plate. Handing Blake his so she could begin taking apart hers. Blake looked down at the cooked food with hunger and mild disgust. He wasn't used to seeing cooked animals with the head still attached. He swallowed as he carefully pulled apart the still incredibly hot meat. Blowing on it to cool it faster as he separated more from the bones. “how'd you even catch these?” he asked. Val drawing up her own questions with a puzzled look. “how do you feed yourself?! Don't you catch or grow anything?” she questioned. “well, no. the towns I live in are really big. We have certain people who farm or hunt food in large supply. Most were I live simply buy it already prepared. Like in cans, or already cut to throw on a fire. You guys seemed like you had fridges at some point. Those help in storing food too for a long time.” he explained to her. “I've seen the fridges. They used to work when I was a child. Most of us were never able to really use them like they should while growing up. Lack of power made them just metal storage for food in one spot without need of multiple cabinets.” she spoke after swallowing a bite of meat. “how does getting food where you live work? Here it was highest rank gets it all.” she said with a toss of bone to the fire. “its like what Knoth did with the guys sent to town. Give them money and they give you a certain amount of whatever. You get money by doing jobs like mine. I reported stuff and after a certain time I get an amount of money for the time I worked.” he explained, biting into a drumstick. “hmm, is your town anything like Templegate?” she asked, throwing another stripped bone into the fire. “there can be dangerously sketchy parts of town, but nothing nearly as bad as temple gate. I rather be anywhere in town then there.” he said while chewing. Val nodded as she finished off the last bit of meat from her meal. Chucking the useless bits into the fire. She moved over to be close by Blake, having him nervously swallow his food. Relaxing when he saw she only wanted to see his leg again. She pulled a large rock close in front of her and began forming a small pile of different herbs and a little water from a hollowed cactus. Creating another new paste by grinding it down with a smaller rock. “whats that do?” he asked. “helps close the wound, keeps it clean and stops things from getting in.” she finished. Beginning the painful process of packing it into the wound. When it was fully in she took out a stitching hook and wire to fully sow it shut. “where did you get the stitching supplies?” he asked. Finding himself doing that a lot lately. “so many questions. I rather be prepared for anything on this long trip into wilderness. So far its come in handy when it comes to you.” she teased grabbing a hold of his arm to examine it before he could protest it. “the swellings gone and your arm should be fine. These rotten areas will take time to treat though.” she said while smearing the last of the paste over the bite marks. Stitching the more damaged areas back together. “should I wrap them?” he asked while still trying to finish some food. “no, it's not necessary. The paste will dry and be just as good.” she advised while putting the supplies away. “stay here. I mite be gone for a while, maybe not even till night passes.” Val said as she got to her feet. “now what are you doing?” he asked, pausing on his chewing. “i need to find something specific for your arm. With the wolves hunting it'll be incredibly difficult to find. I might just have to set something up and wait a while.” she said, going off before Blake could ask what it was she was looking for. He swallowed down his food to take another bite. Throwing a pile of bones collecting up into the fire. “not as good as a steak, but any meat at this point is a gift from god.” he thought while taking meat off a bone. When he reached the head of the creature he was still hungry, but not enough to mess with it. Finding it disgusting enough just to look at. The thought of pulling it apart till he saw teeth or eyes only creeped him out more. He chucked the head along with the remaining bones into the fire. “maybe I'll have time for a bit of reading.” he thought, looking at the entrance for a moment. Laying down with his back toward the only opening. If Val returned while reading he could easily hide the book again. Carefully pulling out the book to flip through the repeating pages. The writing speaking of plague after plague. Locusts swarming fields while the wild life turned beyond vicious. Crops dying off or no longer growing causing mass starvation. Talks about the end of the world as Knoth spoke to god often over the ending world. “Disease running rampant as Knoth wanted to regrow his flock. No surprise why everybody was getting sick.” Blake thought as he scanned over knoths ramblings. The once clear writing turning messier each day. Half of some pages being more like ranting chicken scratch. A thought hit Blake over the connection of Murkoff and the sudden “plagues”. He saw all those files and recordings on the news. They did that to a whole massive asylum. Why not a tiny secluded town in the middle of nowhere. Mite be easier to run experiments on people without health officials or family trying to visit the sick. “what were those lights?” he thought. A written passage by Knoth bringing a simple delusional answer.
___________________________________________ “final corn planting before the fall. -- We have all heard the first trumpets call. The sound to announce the lord's return, to collect the worthy to join his kingdom while the sinners rot with the cursed world. When the 7th trumpet blows from a holy being of above we shall all be free of our skins. We must be patient and cannot allow ourselves to slip before our time is ready. I already had to reaffirm my followers doubts. An angry mob at the steps of my holy church. I do not blame them and pray they be forgiven. After all they are all weak despite my hard efforts. Val came today questioning the great creator. Talking about the possibility of him being no man. The lack of bare chest like the others being a point of bringing up. I told him that the flesh is simply a temporary prison that we shall soon shed. No reason to be questioning the lord on such trivial matters when the issue has been far resolved. I reminded him that deacon status was left only for man. For man was sent down to rule over the females after cursing them by taking the forbidden fruit. Only sinners lie and I reassured Val he wouldn't possibly lie to me. Val stayed with his voice faltering changing to the subject about the people next. Wondering what to do with the orphans of those sent away or deceased. I would like my flock to keep from dwindling further. Tasking him with finding a caretaker for them or bring them to work. Everyone needs to work for their share in these hard times.” “Day of first frost. -- the leaves of the surrounding trees have fully left us. The winter cold feeling harsher than the last. I ask the lord if I have failed. I've heard the trumpets call over 7 times now. With the burning lights taunting me with holy visions. The lord assures me i am doing his work, my flock will remain despite the 7th horn blow. He has bigger plans for all of us, testing us. The horns blowing more frequent with 2 happening each day and night. They bring me peace as I find handling my flock almost becoming a burden. I tell the lord of my pains. Being given the advice that I should remind them of their place. The flock is straying to someone else, but the lord did not mention who. I've sent Val to look over my flock for this hidden wolf. Nearly choked on my morning wine when he spoke of the children needing him for sick care. I told him that his job wasn't to be a caregiver. That all sick should be sent to the scalled without hesitance. That was a women job and no concern for him. After having him leave my sight I called my faithful blade Marta to my side. I was taking the lord's advice to strike fear in my flock. Have them know the wrath of god they would face if they did not accept my word. This will be a day of punishment on all the doubters.” “Mid winter -- my flock is all aligned again after the sight of burning sinners. A few hanging bodies being permanent reminders to those below their feet. Not all were celebrating this victory with me. Val came to me complaining of angry town voices followed by yelling of more parent less children. Marta forced him into place with reminder that sinners and doubters were only punished. They were straying from the peaceful fields god offers them freely. A strong hand was needed to lead them back on path. Some of the things Val said verged on the path of selfishness that I disagreed on. I got him calm like I always do when I warn him of his sins. Having him go out to spread my word of warning to any with remaining doubts.”
________________________________________ “seemed like Val had a longer hate streak for Knoth then he realized. Val was escaping his maniac grip before the heretics were formed. Sounded like the people wanted to leave, but what kept them? After all the suffering under Knoth was it fear keeping them? Cant be, just cant be after people growing so desperate. Not much to lose when all you have is starvation or being burned for heresy. “the lights and horns, as Knoth puts it, were getting quicker. Maybe the horns were just to cover the flash's true purpose. Maybe even the voice of god isn't a little voice in knoths head after all. Vals notes said she heard things as well. Brain waves, radio waves, heard myths of people with fillings getting radio waves while driving. Or pots and pans picking up radio talk when close enough to a powerful tower. If it's strong enough it might not need any metal fillings. Murkoff did mass experiments to the point of forcing survival with no mouths on patients. Why not brain radio waves scrambling minds? Geeze, starting to sound like a tin foil hat nut job.” he sighed in thought. Tapping the small book against his forehead out of boredom. “next I'll be saying the cellphones are controlled by skynet.” he mumbled, putting the book away to stoke the fire. Wincing slightly as he got up with both legs asleep. “wonder how Val will fix this? Probably will cut it out and apply more paste of some kind.” he thought, seeing the darkened areas by his sleeve as he tossed things onto the fire. Turning to the entrance at the sound of pouring rain. Discovering it to be night as only rain pouring by the entrance was shining with reflected fire light. “hope Vals doing alright. At least the rain will cover her from the wolves.” he thought, wandering to the entrance for a drink of water.
____________________________________________ “look guys we really need to stop!” a worker shouted over the heavy rain. “i agree!” a soldier shouted back, yanking a leg out of the thick mud. “what about wicker?! Another yelled. “fuck him!” another yelled. “put a fucking tent up! I am not taking another step in this shitty weather. I want to sleep and eat!” he shouted again, dropping a heavy bag to the floor. “got any barbwire for the fucking wolves?” the first shouted. Unbeknownst to them they were being watched by eyes in the mud. The mound slowly moving with the shifting of twig bunches over the body. Val had been looking for this opportunity. Creeping slowly as to not alarm the strangers. Stopping just a little away from the presence of wolfs. The rain disturbing there hunt with the cold scent covering. The creatures seeming to almost be in comas. Unblinking stares as they sat in the mud like statues. Vals eyes wandered over the mud to stop at a sizable rock. Taking a tight hold around with one quick movement throwing it into the head of a soldier. “ah! What the fuck was that?!” the one hit shouted in pain. Waving his flashlight over onto the sitting wolves. The creatures twitching to life at the disturbance. Growling followed by shrieks to announce the presence of food to others. More shrieks joining in made the soldiers tense with fear. “fucking wolves!” a soldier growled, waving his flashlight into the dark. The group forming a tight circle of protection from the unseen monsters. The sounds of rustling having one panic into shooting at the brush. A bleeding wolf full of holes still managing to run at them. Getting incredibly close before a shot to the head finished it off. More of the beasts charged into biting at the men's legs. Guns wildly firing off toward the beasts with the men falling one by one to the relentless attacks. As they were all distracted she moved to grab one of the bags dropped. Along with collecting a chunk of meat flying to the side as the wolves shook their prey. One man holding tightly to the trigger as he fell. Letting out a spray of bullets to the surrounding area. A few landing across Vals shoulder before she could get away. Hiding with a hiss of pain behind the closest tree. A wolf stopped eating at the scent of new blood. Sniffing with long wheezes at the air. The rain providing just enough cover to keep her hidden. However being this close wasn't the safest with a bloody injury. She took a few deep breaths, looking at the wolves. Waiting till they were all eating again before running from the area.
______________________________________ Blake slowly opened his eyes as the blaring sun pooled over his face. He rose with a stretch, popping his back after sleeping on a rock. Looking down at his shirt once again stained with sweat. His fever had returned worse than before. “what time is it?” he thought, carefully getting up to look outside. The feeling of sickness catching up with his waking body. Burning throat having swallowing difficult. Outside he swallowed as the cool air hit his wet skin. Wincing up to see where the sun was for a general guess of time. “afternoon?” he said, the sun blaring overhead. “val should have been back.” he mumbled. Growing anxious over the possibility something happened. “she's probably fine.” he thought to ease his concerns. “I'll just wait out here. Too hot to be inside anyway.” he spoke to himself as he carefully sat down at the short cliffs edge. He sat for a moment, almost falling off as he jumped at a breaking branch. The sound announcing Vals arrival as she carelessly walked back. “finally got them! Took a while to get them.” she spoke loudly as she approached at the bottom of the steep climb. Holding up another rounded cactus that Blake assumed was hollowed. “whered the blood come from?” Blake gestured to his shoulder, referring to the stain on Val. “i was shot.” she answered casually. “shot, what happened?!” he asked, anxiety returning. “a little trouble, they were aiming at something else. I just got unlucky in where I stood. The bullets are out with the holes shut. It'll be fine in a few days.” she told him while climbing back up. “the fevers come back.” he told her. Not wanting to make the mistake of ignoring an injury again. “i thought it would. Most the pumpkin leaves had dried out into being useless. I hoped it wouldn't come back, but now were going to treat it the long way. I can still treat the rest of the symptoms just fine. Most the medicinal plants grow around the water here.” she said as she sat down beside him. “are you going to cut the areas out or spread something on it first?” he asked as she rolled up his sleeve. “no, they'll take care it.” she said, grabbing the cactus. “they?” he asked confused. His eyes going wide as Val took the top off the cactus to reveal the hollowed area now filled with writhing white worms. “what are those?!” he exclaimed, scrambling up onto his feet away from the disgusting things. “they're just maggots.” Val stated. “I'm not putting those on my arm! I want to keep it, not have It eaten off the bone!” he shouted, keeping his injured arm close to his chest. “they only eat the dead parts they won't touch the rest. Now let me put them on.” she said, standing up so she could come near. “no! Forget the worms, just cut the parts out!” he exclaimed, hiding his arm away. “cutting it out wont leave the areas clean. It also risks damaging your arm more.” she sighed, becoming annoyed over Blakes stubbornness. “I'm not putting flesh eating worms on my arm! I'll just cut it out myself!” he growled, keeping his arm away from Val as she got closer. “you're making this unnecessarily difficult.” Val glared, tapping the cactus of maggots impatiently. “whatever, just get rid of them. I'll fix my own damn arm.” he huffed toward her while going back inside. “suit yourself.” she spoke under her breath. Following Blake inside a minute after he went. “okay, sterilize the knife and then ... just cut.” he talked to himself. Attempting to carefully heat the metal shard in the fire. Looking toward Val out of annoyance from her repeated tapping of the maggot container. Growing more annoyed at the expression across Vals face as she watched him. “don't look at me like that.” he glared at her. “like what?” she asked with a raised brow. “like what i am doing is insane.” he said, looking back toward the hot metal shard. Carefully pulling it out with a long slender branch. “let that cool. What else should I do?” he spoke to himself quietly. Thinking for a moment on what steps a doctor would do. “I'm not the one talking to myself.” she mumbled under her breath as she set the maggot container down. “what was that?!” he said angrily toward her. “nothing, just considering something.” she said, looking into her bag of medicine. “can you at least give me one of those lettuce shoots so I don't feel pain?” he asked her. “I'm not wasting valuable medicine on something so unnecessary.” she stated. “ugh, I'll just bite my damn sleeve then!” he growled, throwing his hands in the air out of frustration. He looked down to the metal to eye it on possibly being cool enough. Quickly tapping it to get a sense of how hot it was. After feeling that most the heat had left it he picked it up tightly in his hand. “just go slow, take deep breaths.” he told himself as he brought up his shaking hand. Breathing deeply as he prepared to cut into a dark spot nearing his wrist tendons. He took one last deep breath as he pressed the knife against his skin. Slashing at the air when Val threw a small pinch of dust into his face. He jumped to his feet in a coughing fit. Backing up till he felt the wall against him. He glared at Val despite the spinning world. Feeling his body grow heavy with sleep, but managing to somehow stay awake. “sit down so I can treat your arm.” Val spoke gently as she came near. Backing up as Blake swung at her with the metal. “fuck off!!” he snapped. “after that dust junk I will seriously hurt you!” he said furiously. One hand holding the blade tightly while the other practically clawed into the wall to keep him on his feet. “i only gave you enough to relax. If you don't let me look at that arm ill have to throw more at you.” she warned. Blake swallowed with a shake of his head. Holding an intense glare of anger toward her while holding his breath in long amounts. She sighed as she stood by with a intense stare of her own. A stalemate of staring commencing as neither were backing down. “your being difficult again.” she glared. “fucking wonder why?!” he snapped with a returning glare. “sit down.” she spoke sternly, coming closer. “i will fucking stab you!!” he growled as his body tensed up against the wall. “then do it!” she challenged, stepping even closer. Blake roughly swallowed as that was the last thing he expected her to say. His heart skipping a beat in his chest with his hand now shaking. “i-i will!” he warned again with a stutter. Growing increasingly fearful as his hollow threats were no longer working. He was horrible at fighting even if he was getting his ass kicked. He couldn't count the number of times lynn had to save him from assholes punching his face in on the reporting field. Val walked forward despite his warning. Having Blake freeze up in fear against the wall. until his terrified brain remembered the exit. He only did a quick glance before he bolted for the exit. Val reaching out in time to just grab his collar to yank him back. Blake swung out his arm as he felt himself fall backwards. Accidentally slashing deep into Vals arm having her release with a tight wince of pain. When Blake hit the floor he froze up after seeing the injury he had caused. Flinching his eyes shut as Val moved toward him, expecting a hit or some kind of harm to come to him. Wheezing in a sudden breath of air as he was surprised by Val straddling him. He was stopped from sitting up by Val pushing him down with a hand on his chest. “settle!” she commanded down to him. He swallowed thickly while trying to desperately breath through his asthma. “get … off.” he managed to wheezed out. Having Val sit over his chest not being the only thing adding to breathing difficulty. It dragged up dark memory's of the mines seeing her over him. A painful feeling of his heart seizing in his chest like his rib cage was being crushed. Val got off when she saw his distressed breathing. Sitting by his side to carefully watch him if something went horribly wrong. Blake carefully moved onto his side. Wheezing with his head lowered to the ground. Body shaking out of his control while remaining on the floor. Taking repeated deep breaths to stop his chest from crushing his heart. He shut his eyes to rest for a moment when his breathing returned and the crushing pain left his chest. His body no longer shaking, but now covered in a thick layer of sweat. Val remained sitting quietly by him keeping a watchful eye as he recovered. “do you want to rest?” she asked when a few moments passed. “lets just get it done.” he grumbled about the arm issue. Sitting back up with a tired groan when a headache hit him. He felt exhausted after the whole thing, but really wanted to get it all over with. He watched Val nervously as she collected the maggot holder. returning with it to be at his side. She rolled up his sleeve before opening the container of worms. Blake looking away to swallow thickly at the disgusting site of writhing maggots. When he felt her begin to set worms across his arm he turned pale. Letting out a sickly groan while continuing to face away. Feeling that if he dared look he would soon lose his stomach. “how long will this take?” he asked with a shaking voice. “a day, but the areas will be completely removed and clean by the end.” she answered as she finished spreading the worms. “here, so you don't have to watch them.” she added, beginning to wrap his arm in a large sterile hospital bandage. “where'd you get that?!” Blake asked when he saw the wrapping. It certainly wasn't one of his, much too big and still a freshly white color. “one of the strangers bags.” she answered, tying the bandage off. “don't touch it or you'll disturb the work.” she told him in a serious tone. “how many did you get? Did you get anything else?” he questioned, looking to and away from his arm in disgust. Although he couldn't see the worms, he could definitely still feel them. Like a strange static tickling sensation slowly shifting all over his arm. “only 6 of these rolls. The rest were maps, dynamite, and what I assume were radios among other strange things.” she said. “dynamite …?” Blake repeated with concern. “what could they want with dynamite?” he asked. “block exits. I used to go out with a party to cause rock slides to mess with knoths followers. Made picking them off easier.” she spoke while tending to the fire. Sitting down by it to see her injury better. The large cut Blake had caused being in need of stitches. The sight of the wound having Blake want to apologize for it. However the dark memory he went through made him angry and unwilling to. “why'd you bother with Templegate if you hated everything so much. Sounds like you could have easily destroyed the town. Why didn't you? Were you afraid of Knoth?” he angrily talked. “i wasn't afraid! I wanted him to suffer!” she roared,standing tall over Blake for such an accusation. Giving Blake the most hate filled glare he'd ever seen. That saying something as reporters got those commonly. “i wanted him to see his failures! Have his flock either picked off or leave him for dead! Watch as the town he worked so hard to build to burn in flames! After that I would make it my job for him to live as long as possible. I wouldn't have allowed him the easy way out. He would have been a precious pet in some pit I threw scraps down to now and again.” she spoke with pure hate in a loud voice, calming down by the end of it. “... wouldn't it have been better to leave?” Blake spoke quietly in a gentle tone. “i considered it once.” she said, throwing another branch into the fire with anger. “so, what happened?” he asked. “you fell from the sky.” she stated, heading for the entrance. “oh. ...what are you doing now?” “need to collect water for your medical tea. With a new cactus to hold it all in.” she yelled from outside as she headed to the water's edge. He swallowed at the remembrance he was sick. The whole adrenaline rush he just got taking his mind off it. His body feeling sore all over with added exhaustion coming on. A fever burning hot that he would just have to deal with till he was better.
“fucking idiots taken down by a bunch of mange ridden mutts!!” wicker shouted as he kicked a head ripped clean from its body. “these are not normal wolves sir. They've suffered so much mercury poisoning they don't recognize they're limits. They just keep attacking with no sense of pain.” a worker explained. Raising a bullet filled mangled wolf body with gloved hands. “whatever! Just regather the supplies back. I better not find any of you camping like these half wits either! Ill find out and throw you to these bastards!” he shouted over the group. Picking up a dead wolf by the neck to shake it at them before throwing it into a pile of mangled bodies. A beep coming from his wrist had him stop. Turning ghostly pail with a thick swallow of nervousness. He shakily brought up his wrist to look as a small message pad. An alert that the CEO had sent him a new message. He nervously opened it to find a furious message. “i know what your doing out there! I had the lab keeping tabs on you since this disaster started. You cant just ignore me after “fixing” the radios to deny my frequency. Your going AWOL and Murkoff is not happy about your disservice! Currently I have no choice but to allow your circus to go on. I cannot send anyone from the lab and all my field men are stuck with you. As of right now i am begrudgingly giving you a week, a full 7 days to fix this before I arrive to fix it! Get your shit together before then wicker!” he let out a sigh of relief followed by a hysterical laughing fit. Causing all around him to stop with concern. When he noticed the pause his laughing turned to aggression. “what are you looking at?!” he snapped, scaring everyone back into their work. “sir -” a worker spoke. “what?!” wicker interrupted with a snap. The worker gulped before starting again. “a bag is missing.” the worker spoke more timidly. “what bag, whats it holding?” he asked quickly in a demanding manner. “medical equipment, a supply of demolition dynamite, and a portable communication radio set up.” the worker answered. “all of you look for a bag!” wicker shouted into his radio. Getting multiple confirmations over radio of the order being heard. “we found a bag far off by a severed arm covered in maggots.” a soldier called in. “anything missing?” wicker asked. “all the medical bandages. Everything else was left.” the soldier answered. “at least one of them is nearby. Search for tracks or anything else around that bag.” wicker commanded. “yes sir.” a quick reply was returned.
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