#captain burnham

[princesscolumbia]

Star Trek Captains, A Review and Categorization

Star Trek is a show about a Neo-military organization that has rank structures, ships, and fights wars, so naturally there's plenty of captains to talk about, but for this post I'll be highlighting specifically the main cast captains, in something resembling chronological order. (But, I mean, this is Star Trek, so even that's kinda up in the air)

Captain Archer

That Guy who had to hand crank the warp engine up-hill both ways in the blinding ion storm. We don't need no stinkin' Prime Directive! Remember The Alamo Pearl Harbor 9/11 Florida! But...uh, maybe don't be dicks about it, not everyone who looks like the ones responsible for that thing we're never going to forget actually wants us dead. Got transformed into an alien, got possessed by another alien, slept with a couple more. Never got pregnant, though (that was his chief engineer)

Scorecard

Ships commanded: 1

Wars started: 0

Wars ended: 3

Times on screen naked: 1

Nazi facilities destroyed: 1

Category: Grampa

Captain Pike

Midlife crisis? What midlife crisis? Everything's fiiiiine. Now eat something, it'll make you feel better. I'm not mad, I'm just disappointed. Number One, don't tell me I can't adopt more kids, I don't care that they're from the future they're mine now. Besides, we've already got a whole ship-full, what's two more?

Scorecard

Ships commanded: 2

Violations of the Temporal Prime Directive: -3 (yes, it's an irrational number, we're talking time travel, people!)

Musical Numbers Participated While On Duty: 3

Hair: Really Great

Category: Dad (or DILF if you swing that way)

Captain Georgiou

You will be captain when you can snatch the stone from my hand.

Scorecard

Ships commanded: 1

Protege's who required a redemption arc: 1

Awesomeness: Transcendent

Category: Gone too soon, also, MILF who can kick your ass

(Edit: Courtesy of @cheer-me-up-scotty for pointing out an oversite on my part)

Captain Burnham

Cosplays as a Vulcan 'cause she's jealous of her adoptive brother. Accurately called an audience-stand-in-self-insert-mary-sue (shut up, Star Trek fandom invented the Mary Sue, it was a term coined by women fans, so shut up!), but by season 2 she actually gets interesting.

Scorecard

Mommy Issues: Has a subscription

Moms: 4

PTSD inducing life events: Like, all of them

Ships commanded: 3

Mutinies led failed: 1

Category: That One Cousin who married surprisingly well and made something of herself in spite of all expectations

Captain Kirk

Golden retriever energy, would be the Useless Bisexual Himbo if he didn't have so much game. Probably smarter than he lets on. Polyamory King and certified Alien Fucker. Boyfriend is a half-space-elf, main sometimes-girlfriend will go on to create the deadliest super-weapon ever built by humans by accident.

Scorecard

Number of Klingon Bounties on his head: [CLASSIFIED]

Number of women he's slept with: [CLASSIFIED]

Nazi regimes toppled: 1

Number of times he should have had a test that determines if you can stick your dick in it that got named after an upstart from that other science fiction show instead: 1

Ships Commanded: 3

Ships He's Stolen: 3

Category: Slut(affectionate)

Captain Kirk (the other one)

Golden Retriever that got left behind when his family moved away and had to lead a ragtag team of a crotchety older dog and a wet cat on a journey...

No, wait, hold on...

Right! That's the one!

Scorecard

Times he should have been kicked out of Starfleet: At least 4

Ships commanded: 3

Ground transport destroyed: 2 (that we know of)

Number of middle fingers given to Admiralty: 2

Category: Bad Boy

Captain Picard

You know that guy who you see going to the library all the time and always seems to have his nose in a book and always seems to be telling people off for breaking the rules and doing dangerous shit? You'd never know it but he used to be That Guy in college who got, like, ALL the girls and is going to be the Hot Grampa that you don't know how he has that much game, but he got it.

Scorecard

Ships lost in the line of duty: 2

Number of times he married and then estranged his best friend's wife who named their son after her dead first husband: 1

Number of toxic omnipotent and omniscient boyfriends who are obsessed with him and spends their spare time playing with ponies: 1

Category: Inexplicable Sexyman

Captain Badass Sisko

The Cool Dad with baggage. He's got game, but he's got priorities as well, and DON'T mess with his son or you won't even exist anymore to regret it. BLM before it was cool. Led a civil rights riot two centuries before he was born. Space Jesus who can make the best jambalaya you've ever had. Fought and won a war, punched a god, then became one.

Scorecard

Civilizations saved: 4

Native Cultures Treated With the Respect They Deserve: Many

Times He Bent the Rules so his CMO could get some nookie from a Cardasian spy plain, simple tailor: The counter broke

Successful black-ops assassinations completed: 1

Category: BAMF

Captain Janeway

THE single most decorated captain in Starfleet history. Successfully dropped the hammer on dozens of petty tyrants, oppressive regimes, roaming mass murderers, and the Borg. What Prime Directive? Your Mom. Also, probably slept with your mom, that's how much she is the Domme-est of Dommes. She told the Borg to use the safe word...and they DID!

Scorecard

Borg Daughters: 1

Times she told the Borg to step off: 3 (or 4...or 5? Honestly, with the time travel shenanigans it's hard to know for sure)

Nazis she's personally shot: 1

Category: Mistress, but it's "Ma'am" to you

Captain Freeman

She's angry AND disappointed! She's just as good as all the other captains in the fleet, and the good ones know it, but all the rest? They see "cali class" and assume all they're good for is the jobs nobody else wants. But jokes on them, because thanks to that attitude her crew are the flippin' Jacks and Jills of all trades and are more capable of fixing AND fucking AND "fucking" shit up than damn near anyone else!

Scorecard

Times the ship has nearly been destroyed but she and her crew got through it: ...uh...how many episodes are there? And then there's the times that get casual mentions that we never get the details on!

Daughters who should probably be captains now if they were at least a LITTLE more respectful and didn't actively try to piss off Admirals: 1

Times the Cerritos has had to be rebuilt to the point it might as well be called "The Ship of Cerritos Problem": At least 4

Category: Your mom...get back here, I'M NOT DONE TALKING TO YOU!

Captain R'El

Cinnamon Roll, just let m'boy into Starfleet! He just wants a home and a family! I'd like to see full-grown captains who can keep up with half of what this Best Boy is capable of!

Scorecard

Number of species his genetic code is made up of: All of 'em. Even the GODDAMN Q!

Number of Janeways he impressed the socks off of: 2

Quality of his Janeway impression: Bad

Number of Ferengi he out-Ferengi'd: 1

Nazis punched: Give him time...

Category: Teenage Boy Who's NOT GOING THROUGH A PHASE, MOM!

Should I do Captains Shaw and Seven? How about Alternate Timeline Tripp or Future Chakotay? (Going too far down that rabbit hole will eventually lead to Imperial Kirk and Captain Spock from the movies.) Let me know in the comments.

Next Post in this series

#captain r'el #dal r'el #captain janeway #captain picard #captain sisko #captain kirk #captain pike #captain archer #captain georgiou #captain burnham #captain freeman #Star Trek Captains - Review and Category

[jordanlafordan]

I think about this photo daily.

#probably because it's the lock screen on my phone #but i love her #star trek discovery #michael burnham #st disco #st discovery #captain burnham #sonequa martin green

[womeninfictionandirl]

Michael Burnham by Gio Guimaraes

#michael burnham #Star Trek #gio guimaraes #star trek discovery #star trek: discovery #art #captain burnham #artwork #sonequa martin green #sonequa Martin-green #Star Trek art

[katiebelleart]

redrew some old art of michael burnham from disco season 3! i miss the old discovery uniforms 💙

#michael burnham #star trek discovery #star trek #discovery #star trek: discovery #star trek fanart #star trek art #star trek michael burnham #captain burnham #clip studio paint #artists on tumblr

[pagingdr-iverson]

Look Star Trek Discovery is a BOP! For me at least. I’m watching it now and I gotta say as a Trek fan the little black girl in me be too turnt up when I watch it. The captain is black, a woman, AND named Michael. Bro I be in heaven enjoying this freaking show, I’m content just watching Michael Burnham breathe on my screen lol. Just because she IS her and she looks like me! I’m grown as hell but yeah a black, captain, named Michael, who IS Vulcan makes me happy and stuff. Representation really is an important thing out here huh? Also Sylvia Tilly and Hugh Culber are BAE AF honorable mentions. I LOVE THEM. Tilly is amazing and I’ve just straight up loved Wilson Cruz aka Dr. Hugh Culber since “My So Called Life” sue me lol.

#Star Trek #star trek discovery #michael burnham #sylvia tilly #hugh culber #Tilly #dr Culber #captain burnham #Star Trek disco #disco #wilson cruz #mary wiseman #sonequa martin green #I was BIG MAD #Tilly went to teach #or WHATEVER THE HELL #I like her #shit lol

[astoriachef]

It’s weird, and I’m not sure how to articulate this, but I think the character of Captain Rayner is something of an…olive branch to a certain type of fan. The older, whiter, male-r side of the Trek fandom (not me) has been super critical of Discovery, probably because they’re worried that Trek has passed them by (sometimes me). It would have been easy for the Discovery team to make Rayner a spite character, make him an arrogant, witless jackass, a parody of the haters. Instead, they make him a competent smart, captain who’s admittedly never spent a single second with a ship’s counselor. Kind of impulsive, can’t and won’t play politics, but steady in a crisis, and committed to his mission. More importantly, they make Captain Burnham recognize his better traits and invite him to be her number one. Am I crazy, or is the show saying to that part of the of the fandom, “We’re not changing who we are, but you still have value to the franchise. And you can come aboard, if you want.”

I hope I’m not reading too much into this. The Discovery cast and crew definitely see the type to take the high road, in the face of online static. And even though I already liked Discovery, What they’re doing with Rayner gives me one more thing to like about it. I feel welcomed by the show, and I’d like to think that’s intentional.

That, or the just saw how popular Shaw was on Picard S3, and said, “We gotta get one of those.”

#star trek discovery #star trek #st:d #st:disco #picard s3 #captain rayner #captain burnham #michael burnham #captain liam shaw #if rayner dies we riot

[startrekwintergiftexchange]

The 2024 Star Trek Winter Gift Exchange is here!

Q: What is the Star Trek Winter Gift Exchange?

A: It’s a fanworks exchange for any fandom within the Star Trek universe, from The Original Series to Strange New Worlds!

-

Q: How does it work?

A: When you sign up, you’ll provide three options of gift ideas you’d like to receive, as well as gifts you’re open to making. Once sign-ups close, the mod will send you the url of the person you’ll make a fanwork for and their requests. You’ll have the month of January to fulfill one of the requests. Make sure your ask box is open so the mod or your Secret Santa can contact you!

-

Q: Do I have to make fanart/fanfic for the exchange?

A: Nope! All types of fanworks are welcome :) Fics, art, edits, fanvids, playlists, moodboards, podfics, among other things! As long as you’re creating it, it’s welcome.

-

Q: What are the important dates I should know?

A: December 29, 11:59 pm CST: sign-ups close

January 1-3: You’ll be notified who your recipient is.

January 21-31: Post your gifts! Details here.

-

Q: Sounds awesome! How do I sign up?

A: Fill out this form!

-

Q: What if I only want to be a pinch hitter?

A: If you ONLY want to be a pinch hitter, fill out this form!

-

If you have other questions, send an ask. And don’t forget to spread the word!

#star trek dsc #star trek: discovery #st:dsc #star trek disco #michael burnham #captain burnham #saru #ash tyler #voq #paul stamets #sylvia tilly #gabriel lorca #captain lorca #hugh culber #captain pike #christopher pike #cleveland booker #nhan #adira tal #jett reno #philippa georgiou #michael x philippa #captain georgiou #keyla detmer #culmets #jola #joyla #milippa #milly #mylvia

[onlythejaneway]

Oh Captains ! My Captains !

#sonequa martin green #kate mulgrew #janeway #star trek voyager #star trek prodigy #star trek discovery #captain burnham #captain janeway #star trek #trek

[mlmcaptainpike]

i am hyperfixated on the idea that there’s a whole swath of starfleet officers who think the “destruction” of the discovery was a section 31 conspiracy and they’re still out there somewhere. and the discovery becomes like part of the starfleet mythos. and chris keeps running into cadets who wrote their senior thesis about “what really happened to the discovery.” and 9000 years into the future michael keeps running into people that are actually disappointed to learn that the discovery went into the future and there was no conspiracy.

#star trek #dsc #captain pike #captain burnham #christopher pike #michael burnham #um like you know how people think anastasia survived and was out there somewhere #that but like with michael burnham #bran thinks n stuff #emersen thinks n stuff

[best-star-trek-character]

Mega Bracket Round Two

#mega bracket #st #disc #disco #Captain Michael Burnham #captain burnham #michael burnham #burnham #voy #captain kathryn janeway #captain janeway #kathryn janeway #Janeway #best star trek character competition

[gravelyhumerus]

sketch request: Saru (trying) to ride a bike

#star trek #star trek: discovery #saru star trek #captain saru #michael burnham #captain burnham #star trek fan art #art #fan art #this was SO fun i love them sm #my art #my post #sketch requests

[dreamy-willow]

Star Trek: Discovery 💫

#star trek #star trek discovery #star trek discovery fanart #star trek fanart #star trek art #discovery #star trek disco season 4 #captain burnham #michael burnham #president trina #president t’rina #saru x t’rina #saru #captain saru #commander saru #doctor culber #hugh culber #ensign tilly #sylvia tilly #lieutenant tilly #fanart #art #artist support #digital art #small artist #dreamy-willow #st disco

[diver5ion]

#star trek discovery #michael burnham #captain burnham #fav #sonequa martin green #//

[direwolfrules]

Whenever I think of Michael Burnham from ST:DISCO I can only think of her whole name. Like, Kirk is Kirk, Picard is Picard, Janeway is Janeway, Sisko is Sisko (I named my cat after this man), Pike is Pike, and Archer is Archer. Every other Captain just gets thought of as their last name, and then my brain goes Michael Burnham instead of just Burnham. Even just referring to her as Burnham feels wrong. It needs to be the full legal name, every time.

Also every time I type ST:DISCO I feel like the Borg are about to challenge the Klingons to a dance off while Boogie Shoes plays.

#Star Trek #star trek discovery #st disco #michael burnham #captain burnham #captain kirk #captain janeway #captain picard #captain pike #captain sisko #captain archer #I debated whether to include him because the true captain of that ship was porthos

[queerlybelovdd]

#captain burnham #michael burnham #star trek #star trek discovery #star trek disco #tv shows #sci fi #wealth of geeks

[pluralzalpha]

Happy Star Trek Day!

#star trek #star trek discovery #star trek disco #star trek day #captain burnham #captain saru