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#carrie is a lesbian now is not the time to fight me on this
coeurify · 7 months
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actually on my knees begging for a girl next door blurb with Ellie
like imagine moving into the house next to her’s and her being all grumbly and closed off because she cannot physically face the reader because she’s just a loser lesbian and OMG THE UNKNOWN PINING SUJDJSNSNDB
I NEED HER I CANT-
WHERE IS THE LOVE FOR LOSER GND!ELLIE ⁉️
giggles.. cause like.. yea.
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if we r talking modern!ellie, oh god would it be the most cliche shit ever (plz tell me if u want jackson!ellie version cause i’d be happy to do that too. or jus more of this concept) [not edited]
⋆˚✿˖° im talking, ellie looking out from her window in her old house, eyes narrowing as a moving truck pulled into the pretty blue house next door. the neighborhood had been recently taken over by young families, which ellie hated— cause why was she being interrupted in her ‘laying in her bed while blasting music and complaining to herself’ alone time by a bunch of kids screaming outside? either way. she expected another one of these cases.
⋆˚✿˖° but then you popped out, trying to handle three boxes all on your own, cheek pressed against the cardboard as you yelled something ellie couldn’t hear to whoever else was in moving truck. you had glanced over at ellie’s house, maybe even up at her window. and maybe ellie was just dramatic, but she flipped away from that window and face down onto her bed so quickly she was pretty sure it was a new record. because fuck you were pretty.
⋆˚✿˖° and it only got worse later, when el was pulling her hair down from its bun, glancing the sun pressing below the clouds. her fingers moved to close the curtains of her window, and there you were, standing at the window directly across from hers. like— shit straight from a taylor swift music video or something.
⋆˚✿˖° and you, almost as awkward as her, let your hands fall down from their place above your head. you had been putting up shades, but once you caught the gaze of your messy haired neighbor, you smiled at her. fuck, you smiled and waved and ellie just turned away and shut her curtains. you know, like the master at social interactions she was.
⋆˚✿˖° a twin frown painted both your lips at the interaction that night, and at the same time you both huffed out, “god, why’d i do that?”
⋆˚✿˖° nothing really got better from there. not when your family forced you over to ellie’s house with a plate of cookies, your sweet smile the first sight ellie had seen that day as she turned the doorknob to shoo away some girl scout selling something. “we don’t need— oh— oh hi.”
⋆˚✿˖° you looked so fucking pretty. ellie was sure it was fake. maybe she was still in bed dreaming. maybe this was about to turn into one of those really weird s- never mind. you were talking now, and not asking to borrow sugar, so definitely real. “hi! uh— I just, we— i mean, my family, we just wanted to introduce ourselves. and give a gift i guess,” you glance to the plate of wrapped up treats and chuckle lightly. because really, cookies?
⋆˚✿˖° ellie was about red as the shirt she was wearing, stammering a thank you as joel creeped behind her at the door. “you the new neighbors kid?” joel had asked, making ellie clam right up. she backed away from the door, like— just side shuffled out of your view with an awkward wave.
⋆˚✿˖° your eyes followed her, fighting back the odd sense of disappointment that you were no longer staring at the freckled and flushed face of your new neighbor. “uh, yea—yes sir.” you eventually spoke again, offering your grin to joel instead.
⋆˚✿˖° one time joel was doing yard work the same time your family was outside working on the garden. you were fanning your sweating cheek with your hand, the warmth from the sun along with carrying in and out heavy tools was not exactly ideal, and you only felt more heated when ellie came outside the door at the exact moment joel ended up making conversation with your mother.
⋆˚✿˖° “your girl in college?” you could hear him ask, but it was lightly muffled, your attention instead on watching as ellie struggled to bend over and tie her converse against the wall. what an odd way to do it. she was balancing some sort of notebook between arm.. maybe pencils too? did she draw? or maybe write? why couldn’t you stop wondering about it?
⋆˚✿˖° your mom answered joel’s question with some version of the story she always does, gushing about how you were doing so well in school, how she was so proud of you. you didn’t tune back in until joel was speaking again, “ah yea, my — well, ellie, she’s in school too. physics major. but she’s got this thing for astronomy too. kid’s always talking about double majoring.”
⋆˚✿˖° god, she was cute and smart? and her name was ellie? you swore the sun got even hotter at the thought of her talking to you about quantum something-or-other, just nodding along. god you could see it now. a hand in that pretty auburn hair.. mumbling ‘mhm.. whatever you say ellie.’
⋆˚✿˖° then you saw her trip down the stairs on her porch as she looked over. full on hand on the side of the stairs to keep her from eating shit on the rocks there. you sucked your bottom lip between your teeth, stifling a giggle as you wave her way. only to be given a tight lipped smile as she quickly moved away to her car. god. what an odd girl.
⋆˚✿˖° ellie simply lost it the moment she sat in her car, groaning loudly as she slammed her sketch book on her face. “stupid fucking shoes!” she muttered, as if it was the shoes fault for tripping, and not the way she had been intently staring at your face from across the yard. definitely not.
⋆˚✿˖° but really she couldn’t help it, you looked so good, you were wearing shorts, and ellie was happily taking in the sight of skin before that evil fucking creaky porch board got her tumbling down. fuck. she couldn’t ever talk to you again. not ever. she let her head fall to the steering wheel as she went through a million and one ways to simply become invisible and escape any way of running into you. maybe she should become nocturnal.
⋆˚✿˖° but when she let her head fall to the steering wheel, it honked. like a loud, drawn out honk that had you, joel, and your mother’s head turning to the direction of the sound.
⋆˚✿˖° ellie screeched, and you pressed fingers to your lips to contain another smile. you were pretty sure living here was going to be kind of great.
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moonalumi · 5 months
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gf ellie and dinosaurs + random silly ellie headcanons
warnings- nsfw towards the end
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• you going to ellie’s house for the first time and her bed is covered with dino plushies n you just think it’s so cute
• you going out shopping and buying ellie a crochet dinosaur hat and putting it on her
“babe…i look ridiculous” ellie says looking at herself in the mirror.
“noooo baby you’re so adorable awww look at you” you say smiling at her; kissing her cheek as you adjust the hat
• ellie popping out of corners in your shared house, jump scaring you, shooting you with a fake gun she got at a carnival.
“ellieeee!!! ohmygosh” you shriek and jump back after hearing the fake gunshots the toy makes.
“boom boom, gotchu babe your dead” ellie says giggling.
you roll your eyes and take her gun from her and shoot her too. “you’re dead too now haha”
“babeee that doesn’t count,” she whines
• you know damn well ellie got some dinosaur boxers she’s such a loser i love her i can just imagine you coming home and her running out the bedroom
“babe babe look what i got!!” she says out of breath, all excited with wide eyes
you haven’t even put your bags down yet, “w-what? what el what is it?”
“i’ve been waiting to show you all day” ellie says smiling and she just unties her sweatpants strings and drops her pants and you just see her bright ass neon green boxers with dinosaurs on it
“el-ellie oh my gosh” you say holding back your laugh, “there so cute, there so…you”
ellie furrows her eyebrows and pulls her pants up again “what is that supposed to mean?”
“nothing baby cm’here” you say pulling her in for a kiss. she kisses you so softly then pulls away “did you like them though?”
“yes baby i love them”
• now imagine you and ellie having a daughter and you come home to ellie dressing her in dinosaur onesies or dressing her in flannels that match her own
“ellie stop dressing our daughter like a masc lesbian”
“w-what no i’m not?? she’s just matching me”
“exactly”
• you and ellie play fighting on her bed and she ends up almost falling off the bed but she grabs onto you for dear life
• ellie taking her hoodie off but she somehow gets stuck with it half off and she’s like “babe come help” and your just like ellie wtf???
• i just know ellie devours her food the second she gets it and then complains later her stomach hurts
• ellie forcing you to watch any and ever dinosaur movie ever in existence and when you say you want to watch something else she pouts and says you don’t love her anymore
• you and ellie cuddling; about to fall asleep and she whips her head up to look at you and is like, “what if this bed just exploded right now” n your like “ellie. go to sleep”
• i just know ellie laughs at everything and laughs randomly and when you ask what she’s laughing at you she’d be like “what if i just got up and did a backflip over you”
• ellie about to dine in on some chips or something and you snatch it out her hands and run away and she sprints after you n she’s so fast so she quickly catches up to you and then legit picks you up and carries you over her shoulder
• ellie having trouble putting her hair up and loudly letting out groans of frustration you can hear her from across the house so you walk in the bathroom and your like “do you need help?” but she refuses to admit that so she slightly nods and leans into you n you kiss her head and do it for her awww
• ellie tripping over her own feet while walking in front of you and she stops and turns around and stares at you while your laughing n she’s grumpy the whole rest of the day
• you admiring her cause she’s oh so pretty and she’s blushing like crazy and you tease her for it and stuffs her face in a pillow
• lego sets. i know she loves them but when she leaves pieces on the floor and you step on them and your like
“ellie what the fuck! pick up your stuff”
and she comes out the room like a sad lil baby n mumbles a ‘sorry’
• ellie falling asleep on your chest and she just completely drooled all over you but she’s your baby so you don’t care but then she wakes up and sneezes on you n rubs her nose on you then falls dead asleep again. what a baby
• plus i can imagine ellie falling asleep on you literally everywhere. no matter what
• PLUS i just know whenever you two are holding hands and her nose is itchy she pulls your hands up and uses your hand to scratch it
• when your watching something or reading and ellie comes into the room saying “look what i can do” and then does a fucking handstand???
• when ellie’s so excited to see you and she goes to kiss you and completely misses and kisses your chin or your nose
• ellie playing her video games and she keep dying and she slams her controller on the bed and turns to you with her eyebrows all furrowed and pointing to the screen is like “you see this shit?”
• she’s so grumpy in the morning it’s so cute you could be like “goodmorningg sweetie howd you sleep?” and shed mumble a goodmorning and okay and go back to sleep. plus when she’s grumpy and all sleepy the only way you can cheer her up is by spooning her and kissing her cute face everywhere until she’s smiling
• ellies a big baby whenever it’s just you two but when she’s sick??? oh it’s even worse i swear it seems like she’s actually cry if you left her alone for more than two secs
• speaking of whenever you have to use the bathroom in the middle of the night she’s coming too. she could be dead asleep but the second she felt you get off the bed
“babe where you going?” she asks all confused and still half asleep
“just the bathroom sweetheart i’ll be right back”
“no no i- me too” she says and gets up and follows you to the bathroom holding your hand n she’s so cute with her hair all messy and her eyes half open ohmygod i need her
• anyway when she’s been bugging you all day either making you trip or poking you randomly or fake fighting you or making you repeat what you said over and over again even though she heard the first time and you officially get mad at her n she’s just quiet and behaved and following you around like a lost puppy
and after you’ve ignored her for an hour she’ll legit get on her knees and beg you to forgive her
nsfw 18+
• you an ellie laying in bed and she just looks so good in that grey tank top of hers and sweatpants so you start rubbing up on her and straddling her lap, giving her a bunch of hints on what you want but she’s just… so oblivious because she telling you all these space facts
“oh my god did you know that saturn- wait are you even paying attention to me?” ellie says all hurt
“ellie…. i am keeping going honey” you say wrapping your arms around her neck and looking at her like you’re about to devour her
• everytime you bend down in front of her she’s grabbing your hips and fake fucking you from behind n mimicking your moans
• ellie walking home and you text her a pic of you wearing her shirt and no pants and she starts sprinting home and when she comes all out of breath your like “ellie did you seriously run here?” and she smiles and nods
• ellie being oh so sleepy but she still can’t get enough of you so she begs to eat you out and when she is, she’s so messy and delirious she’s sucking on your inner thigh instead of your clit
• you coming home after a long day and ellie hugs you from behind and feels you up and you push her away a little
“ellie calm down i haven’t even showered i’ve been sweating all day”
“mmm even better” ellie jokes and you gasp and turn around and hit her arm
“ewww ellie your so gross!”
• after sex she immediately passes out on you. i’m talking full dead body weight all on top of you
• n back to the dino boxers imagine during sex you go to take off her pants and see she has those on and you just freeze and ellie notices and her whole face turns red
“oops i forgot i had those on…” she says holding back a lil giggle. “surprise i guess?”
you can’t help to smile at her and laugh a little because she’s still so silly even during this
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badasgirl · 7 months
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i’ll always cheer for you
bada lee x fem!reader
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what happens when the basketball team captain and the cheer team co-captain are in love but can’t tell anyone…
genre: fluff, minor angst (my bad), slightly suggestive if you squint (?)
warnings: reader and bada are both lesbians, slightly suggestive with a veryyy tiny makeout scene but nothing too crazy, no caps on purpose (booo ik terrible grammar).
author’s note: this was not proofread nor do i know much about basketball so please be easy on me. anyways, yayyy my first req done, thank you to @badasgirlfriend for being my first request!! this was supposed to be a quick lil imagine but i got a bit carried away 🧎‍♀️…BUT i hope this was good :3 btw reqs are still open!
word count: ~1.8k….
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you and bada lee were captains of your respective sports at your university: cheerleading and basketball, granted you were a co-captain along with another girl named lusher, you were a captain nonetheless. becoming captains by your sophomore year meant you both had insane leadership skills and were talented in your fields. naturally, you both were drawn to each other and became the bestest of friends during your first year of leadership.
however it’s now your senior year and y’all are a little more than friends. last year one night after a game, both the basketball and the cheerleading team went out for expensive bbq to celebrate the win the basketball team brought home. the whole night bada kept clinging to you. she was cooking your meat, making little lettuce wraps for you, and feeding you everything. it got to the point everyone had just assumed you were already dating.
“bro when did you start dating? i cant believe i wasn’t updated.” lusher said in a jokingly hurt voice as she dramatically placed her hand over her heart to feign sadness.
“yeah i thought we were close y/n!” tatter, another cheerleader, said while pretending to cry into her fellow teammate’s, minah’s, shoulder.
you giggled softly while shaking your head at their actions. “guys please! we’re not dating, bada’s just my best friend, right honey?” you said as you turned to look at bada.
bada felt her heart twinge slightly at hearing the words “best friend”, but she quickly nodded in agreement before smiling at you and saying “right honey.”
“me personally y/n, i’d be asking bada what are we!” jj, a fellow basketball team member, joked as she stuffed her face with food.
“best friends…sure” aiki, another basketball player, replied sarcastically before chucking and saying “i don’t call my best friend honey, but yeah! for sure besties!”
everyone at the table laughs at aiki’s and jj’s comments, including you and bada. however, bada knew that night she had to confess to you. she could no longer fight her feelings for you, she wanted to kiss you and hold you close in her arms until you both fell asleep. so, she told you exactly that. you both being lesbians who are in denial of their feelings course led to reciprocated feelings neither knew about. all that mattered now was you were hers and she was yours.
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now back to current time, you’re both seniors and it’s been a little over a year since you and bada began dating. you both became closer than ever. you did everything together, no one could separate y’all from each other. however, no one knew the truth. your relationship was kept a secret because you both decided for the sake of your sports and reputations as captains that no one could know. you both took leading a team so seriously, that neither of you wanted to have anyone think you guys were slacking off due to being in a relationship. so of course this lead to its own issues.
people would ask both of you out on dates constantly (especially you) and although you both would pay zero attention to these people, it bothered the other. bada especially hated it when men would ask you out no matter how many times you told them you were a lesbian. she wanted to scream to the world that she was your girlfriend and everyone else can fuck off, but she couldn’t.
one day it bothered her so much that some man named jongin asked you out to dinner that she couldn’t even bear to look at you because while yes she was jealous other people perceiving her girlfriend, she was even more upset she couldn’t tell these people off for you. she didn’t answer your texts, she didn’t walk you to class like usual, hell she didn’t even wave back when you waved at her in the halls. she had ignored you all day up until she saw you crying and hugging tatter in the hallway near the entrance of the building. bada immediately ran up to both of you and asked why you were crying. tatter shook her head in confusion before explaining that you just began crying once she asked about your day. bada sighed deeply and told tatter to let her handle it. tatter was skeptical at first but eventually agreed as she slowly pulled you off of her. she patted your head before leaving and let you know that she’ll text you later. once it was just you and bada, you hung your head lowly while trying to hide your sniffles. bada placed her hands on your shoulders while leaning down slightly to match your height.
“princess, what’s the matter?” bada asked softly with her voice full of concern. you looked up at her with tears streaming down your face, her heart broke on the spot. bada hated seeing you upset, she only ever wanted you to be happy.
you eventually replied through your sniffles. “why do you hate me now? is it something i did? why are you acting like i don’t exist…” you trailed off beginning to cry harder.
immediately bada’s heart broke again, she hated you being upset, but she hated you being upset because of her even more. she herself began to tear up as she pulled you into her arms and held you tightly. she soothingly rubbed your back, letting you cry into her.
“i’m so so sorry princess, i never meant to upset you. it’s just the thing with jongin bothered me so much and the fact i couldn’t do anything…” bada explained through her own tears now. you looked up at her in understanding before wrapping your arms even tighter around her, clinging to her as if she would disappear.
“i understand baby, but next time please just talk to me. i hate feeling this way, i hate us crying over misunderstandings.” you explained as you began to calm down. you pulled away from bada but then placed her hands in yours.
she looked you in your eyes, nodding in agreement before she replied with “i promise i will. let’s never cry over a MAN again.” she emphasized ‘man’ before laughing attempting to lighten the mood. you began to laugh with her while smiling up at her. god, you were so in love with this girl. nothing will ever stop your love for her.
“we should get going, practice starts soon and you know friday is the game that determines if the team goes to finals or not.” you said seriously as you began to get in your leader mindset. bada agreed with you and you both went off to practice for the very important upcoming game.
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it was finally d-day. one of the most important games of the season began as the buzzer rang throughout the court. the basketball team was working so hard to keep the score high, needing to bag the win. the cheer team was working just as hard on the side lines making sure the basketball team could feel enough love and support to have the strength and energy to keep pushing through this game. you, lusher, tatter, minah, and the rest of the cheerleaders were screaming so loud that your throats were feeling raw. seeing bada in her element made you fall for her all over again. bada was flying across the court so naturally and with ease, scoring point after point for her team. she was constantly blocking shots from one of her opponents haechi wang. however, the opposing team was not weak. for every shot bada blocked, one was scored almost immediately after.
it was now the final 30 seconds of the game, the score was 57:57. aiki had the ball as the buzzer went off and she immediately began to dribble it. bada made the sign that she was open to aiki, she knew it had to be her who made this final shot for her team to bring them their victory. aiki saw bada and immediately made the pass. once shs got the ball, she was off. she didn’t want to let her team down, so she knew she had to put in all the effort she could. it was down to 15 seconds on the timer and bada was exactly where she needed to be to make her shot. however, she started to get nervous and overthink. but before her thoughts could take over, bada managed to hear her girlfriend from across the court yell, she heard you yell “LET’S GO BADA LEE YOU GOT THIS!”. nothing else mattered once she heard your voice. she blocked out everything except for your voice and the hoop. bada took her shot and right as the buzzer sounded, the ball went in the hoop. she had gotten a buzzer beater and scored the win for her team. it didn’t even click for her that they had won until she saw you running across the court towards her. bada smiled as you ran into her arms. she lifted you up and you wrapped your legs around her waist.
you were filled with so much happiness and pride you didn’t care anymore. right as you looked into each other’s eyes, you kissed her passionately. bada questioned absolutely nothing as she kissed you right back with just as much passion, borderline making out with you on the court. cheers from the crowd, both basketball teams, and your cheer team could be heard as all attention was now on both of you.
once you pulled away from bada’s lips, you immediately shouted out to everyone “MY GIRLFRIEND IS GOING TO NATIONALS!” bada couldn’t help but smile and giggle at your actions. the world now knew that you were dating. you could hear everyone laugh along in happiness as many people clapped for you.
“what did i sayyyy!” lusher exclaimed to her team as they all smiled and agreed.
“yo hyojin you owe me $10, i told you so” aiki said to her teammate as she held out her palm waiting for her payment.
both you and bada laughed at everyone’s actions. you both held each other close in a current state of bliss. in the end, who gives a fuck if others think you’re slacking off. you both know it’s not true and that’s all that matters.
“hey bada” you whispered to your girlfriend, still holding her close.
“yes my princess?” bada responded, her voice dripping with sweetness.
you smiled brightly as you looked into her eyes and said “just know that no matter what, i’ll always cheer for you.”
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thank you so much for reading ˚₊‧꒰ა❤︎໒꒱ ‧₊ - lila
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Leslie Feinberg talking about how before there was a pride flag, the Gay Liberation Front flew the North Vietnamese flag
source
video transcription below cut
Video description
Leslie Feinberg stands at a podium giving a talk. Zie says:
In fact, we carried, before we had a pride flag, we carried the North Vietnamese flag as our pride flag. Now you could hear that and think "well that's interesting", but it wasn't just an abstract thing.
(And by the way, I know there's some people who have to leave at, uh, for a nursing class here; nobody's gonna look at you funny when you go. I know people are starting to get nervous about—don't worry, you go with our grace.)
So, the Gay Liberation Front and the Third World Liberation Front named themselves in solidarity with the North Vietnamese people at a time when that was considered treason. That's like now, coming out and defending the resistance of the Iraqi people, the Palestinian people, the North Korean people, the Iranian people, the Cuban people. We face getting beaten up on the streets for marching with the Vietnamese flag but we knew that if we didn't defend the Vietnamese people we were gonna weaken, first of all the people who deserved our support because we were the aircraft carrier in which the war was being launched in all our names. We would lose the solidarity with the Vietnamese people and we would lose our own political souls and movement as well if we didn't take a position in support.
We were supporters on the front lines of the women's liberation movement even when there were some who didn't want us to be there—who said ooh, if you could just get out of the way, because you know, we're strong women and they're calling us lesbians [be]cause you're around. We're like, excuse me, we're withstanding the lesbian invading—you better get used to that. As strong women you better get used to saying "and yes, many of us are!" Because otherwise, you'll just back yourself right off a cliff. And I would ask you, do we have an equal rights amendment today? It was not a winning strategy.
We were involved in all these struggles, but not because we said it's gonna be a tit-for-tat: "I'll do this if you'll do that. I'll come to your demo Wednesday if you come to mine Thursday." We did it because we knew it was a fight we had to join and be a part of. And it strengthened all—
The video cuts off there.
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draculaxias · 12 days
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Hello! can i request Zoya As A wwe or boxer hcs???
❝ 𝔄𝔩𝔴𝔞𝔶𝔰 𝔬𝔫 𝔱𝔬𝔭 ❞
𝔚𝔚𝔈 𝔴𝔯𝔢𝔰𝔱𝔩𝔢𝔯! ℨ𝔬𝔶𝔞, hcs for wwe boxer champions Zoya…
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Massive Rhea Ripley vibes..
Very supportive of the other women at WWE
She became a favorite the moment she joined, her first match and she won already!!!
Has lots of championship belts from all the matches she has won— she literally wins every. single. time.
Carries her championship belts everywhere, she is after all proud of her achievements.
Loves her fans and she never disappoints them.
God bless the backstage interviewers, they will faint at the sight of her and she’s just standing there like: …. Oh… are you ok?
Like she doesn’t even try to flirt..
PLEASE ALL HER OPPONENTS PROBABLY ARE IN SO MUCH PAIN AFTER THE FIGHT… one hit and they get sent away flying.
Always in her daddy era… She wears those tight leather pants, tank tops, chokers, chains, her tattoos and muscles visible and it makes the ladies go insane and she knows that.
She literally became a Masc Lesbian icon
Humiliates her opponents, it is all for show, but I know they want to shit bricks knowing they can’t win against Zoya.
SO MANY FAN EDITS AND SHE HAS SEEN EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THEM, INCLUDING TWEETS.
“I love my fans but… Damn they are filthy dirty beings, keep going.”
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All the fan girls went crazy once she announced you and her were dating UM.
Like Zoya is not all theirs now…
But they grew to like you and find your relationship cute! Calling you guys the cutest couple and teasing you both by commenting on posts “when is the wedding?” “When are you gonna propose Zoya? (Y/n)?”
OKOK SOI HAVE THIS IDEA THAT YOU TWO MET DURING AN INTERVIEW, you are or were a backstage interviewer and you two just clicked, soon having conversations behind closed doors
Anyway the things she posts on Instagram, GOODNESS SHE LOOKS SO hehsbshe SHOWING HER DAMN ABS WHILE HER HAIR IS WET OR BACK MIRROR PICS SHIRTLESS MA’AM PLS
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(I was serious when I said she reminds me of Rhea Ripley, pic one , pic two)
Let’s you do her makeup which consists a lot of dark colors
After winning a match— as expected, she gets out of the ring to hug you and swing you around like a doll in happiness. Despite the many times she has won, seeing your cute excited expression makes every victory special, even if it hasn’t been the first time you’ve seen her win, you always jump in happiness and look at her with that smile she loves so much.
Will literally walk out carrying you like a princess—
Will take you to the gym to workout with her, if you want to of course! If not you can simply just watch her and ramble about anything to her, she doesn’t mind as long as she has your company <3 If you workout with her she is more than happy to help you!
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Sword gays showdown, round 2 of bracket one
Propaganda:
For Zoro:
Literally training to be the greatest swordsman in the world. Has a special three swords technique (one blade in each hand plus one with the handle held in his teeth). I haven't read the manga or watched the anime but the live action adaptation gives me extremely gay vibes and based on the fandom things I've seen I'm not the only one
bro uses three swords. has one in his mouth. dont ask how the HELL he manages that. one day he will be the worlds greatest swordsman....after he beats the current greatest for both the titles of greatest swordsman and fruitiest swordsman. he's dramatic as FUUUCK like bro what the hell. has homoerotic fights with the local twink like everyday. directionally challenged, can and will get lost in a paper bag, doesnt know left from right...he probably cant read, too. hes too silly ngl
First of all, im in like episode 250 and so far he hasnt been shown attracted to any woman at all during the whole show so far, not even when one changed clothes in the same room as him and this is anime so you know there were other characters with bloody noses and shit. With that out of the way he wields three swords at once [two in his hands, one is his goddamn mouth dude. Its cool af trust me.] When he was little he made a promise to his best friend that he'd be the best swordsman in the world. Later she died in a tragic accident and left her sword which he still uses today. He also carries a cursed sword but he overpowers the curse with a combination of skill and sheer luck. He got stuck in a chimney. While his crewmates sail their ship he takes naps. He learned how to cut through metal by fighting a guy who could turn his body into metal blades. That's metal. He refuses to fight this liberal marine officer because she looks like his childhood best friend and its just understandably really awkward for him. He's autistic. He's a he/him bisexual lesbian. He's a gay man. He's ace/aro. He's whatever you want him to be babey!!
he has 3 swords, wields one in his mouth sometimes, his dream is to be the greatest swordsman in the world
three swords and big aroace-spec gay vibes
He not only has a sword he has *three* swords. He's absolutely gay there's no way to see this man as straight. Also one time he licked his sword for no reason and that was really funny to me so I had to mention it
Look, this man thinks about three things: Swords, His Captain, and Booze. He’s on a quest to be the worlds greatest swordsman. The Live action has a scene where he declares his undying, unwavering loyalty to his captain WHILE reaffirming his promise to be the worlds greatest swordsman. At this point His dream and his Captain are so intertwined it’s crazy. Man is so sword-y he’s got three of them. When one of his swords broke he carried its empty scabbard until he was able to give it a SWORD FUNERAL. He hears a sword is cursed and takes that as a challenge. He will literally tell his swords off for “bad behavior” when they “act up” due to being straight up cursed. He tests one by throwing it in the air and sticking his arm out to see if it is so blood thirsty and ill tempered that it will cut him. Even though he’s literally the first mate if you ask him what his role is he’s going to answer Swordsman.
He's dedicated his life to two things: becoming the greatest swordsman in the world and his captain, Luffy. 
He mastered the three sword style. Its his style. It would've been more swords but he could only fit one sword in each hand and one in his mouth. He wants to be the world's greatest swordsman, a deal he made with his childhood best frenemy (before she died falling down the stairs). He thought he was All That at the start and was almost completely decimated by the actual Worlds Greatest Swordsman. Now, after two years forced training with that guy, he's probably in the top tier no-doubt, and honestly could already be the best but we just don't know for sure yet. Also, did I mention: he's got the whole demon/devil imagery going on at times. And he has absolutely no sense of direction! plus is a total softie when it comes to Chopper and all the children who somehow gravitate towards him. And he loves naps!
One of the guy's main goals in life is to be the best sword fighter and he fights with three swords which I think is telling enough of his skill.
For Sayaka Miki:
my favourite scene is the one where Sayaka turns off all her pain receptors to battle the shadow witch, uncaring of the damage dealt to her body, because what is a body but a decaying vessel you must eventually abandon anyway? that was very depression of her <3 Also there’s that one time (in the rebellion movie) where Sayaka stabs herself on her own sword to release the witch that dwells within her. and then she immediately gets up to fight back to back with her girlfriend. that moment lives rent free in my head. Sayaka is so depression and I love her for it:)
SHES SO GAY ITS NOT EVEN FUNNY SHE FLIRTS W THE MAIN CHARACTER HER NARRATIVE FOIL IS ANOTHER GIRL W TBE OPPOSITE COLOR SCHEME THEYRE RED BLUE LESBIAN MOMENT YOU WANNA KNOW WHAT ELSE ??? SHE COMES TO THIS FALSE REALITY LITERALLY JUST TO SEE HER GIRLFRIEND ALIVE THEY LIVE TOGETHER AND THERES A WHOLE OUTRO SEQUENCE JUST W THE TWO OF THEM SHE STUDIED THE GAY BLADE I STG also she uses a sword 🗡️ love u sayaka
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oh-stars · 25 days
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The Wall
Polaroid
a Stobin Month 2024 prompt | 1167 words | CW: N/A | Rating: G
--
“I can’t part with it,” Robin says. 
Steve stands beside her, hands on his hips. “Me either.” 
“We can’t leave it though.” 
“But we don’t have space for it at the new place.” 
“We’re not living together in the new place,” Robin points out with a sigh. 
Steve’s shoulders fall. He keeps forgetting that part. “How do we split it then?” 
“I say we don’t and just stay here,” Robin decides. She nods her head once, then claps. “Yup, that’s settled. We’re living here forever.” 
“Rob,” Steve sighs, “you know we can’t.” 
“Says who? We love this house. It’s our house. Why do we have to leave it?” Robin takes a seat on the floor and stares up at The Wall. Steve doesn’t hesitate to follow, even when his knees pop and protest at the movement. He looks up at The Wall in all its glory, eyes flickering around from one spot to another. It’s their most important wall in the house, their collective prized possession. It’s the most beautiful thing they’ve ever made. 
The Wall is the north wall of their living room that connects with the stairs. It’s a boring beige color, but that’s not the important part, it’s what’s on the wall that matters. The very first day Steve and Robin moved into the house, they commemorated the day with a picture using Robin’s brand new Polaroid camera. And since their walls were all bare, they decided to put the picture on this wall that would one day be covered. 
He doesn’t remember why they decided to take a picture every day, doesn’t know what possessed them to keep it up for over eight years, but here they are. The wall is covered with almost three thousand polaroids, some better than others, with little dates written on the bottom. The ones celebrating big milestones are the highlights, like special birthdays and graduations or the start of a new job or anniversary, with special attention taken to the doodles along the borders. They even alter the space around them so they sit in little pockets, standing out among the silly and blurred daily shots. 
No one else understood why they kept it up, but they’ve never missed a day. Even when traveling, alone or together, they make sure someone took a picture. 
And now that they’re moving out of their first home, moving in with their respective partners, the time has come to take it down. 
Steve’s more sad to see The Wall go than he is to leave this house and he loves this house. It’s just not big enough for Steve, Eddie, Chrissy, Robin, the cats, and the incoming baby that Chrissy’s carrying for Steve and Eddie. He almost wishes Robin and Chrissy would just stay here, keep the wall up even if they stop taking pictures every day, but Robin didn’t think that was fair. “There’s no way I’m living in this house without you, dingus,” she said, “who would fight the ghost on my behalf?” 
The ghost is actually their neighbor’s outdoor cat, Sally, who likes to sneak into their home to play with their cat, Tassel. At first, they thought it was some territory dispute, but it turns out the cats are just star-crossed lovers. So much so that their neighbor’s trying to figure out how Sally can still see Tassel. Steve didn’t peg the old man to be supportive of two lesbian cats, but then again he’s never had a problem with the big rainbow flag hanging in their living room or the fact he’s had to ask Steve and Eddie to keep the noise down a time or two. 
Damn, he’s going to miss Nathaniel, too. 
“We have to take it down,” Steve says. 
“No.” 
“Rob.” 
“Steve.” 
“Would you rather someone else does it?” Steve raises an eyebrow at her. 
She rolls her eyes and huffs. “No.” 
“Then we have to.” 
“Why’d you have to go and make your family bigger, dingus,” Robin whines, leaning into him. “I’m happy to be Aunt Robin and all, and like I know this is what you were meant to do, but it’s really throwing a wrench in our growing old together plan.” 
Steve kisses her forehead then rests his cheek against the top of her head. “You’re the one who introduced Eddie and I.” 
“And I regret it everyday for him stealing you away from me.” 
“Chrissy stole you first.” 
“She’s perfect, she can do no wrong,” Robin says. “Eddie’s a gremlin man and took you from me.” 
“I resent that,” Eddie says as he and Jonathan walk into the room. The house is pretty bare, minus the big furniture that still needs to be moved tomorrow, but the whole point of today was to take boxes out, yet they’re bringing boxes in. Eddie sets down a box in front of them and opens it to reveal several photo albums. 
Jonathan does the same, but he takes out a machine that he plugs into the wall and starts fiddling with. 
“What are you doing?” Steve asks. 
“We’re here to rescue The Wall,” Eddie says.” 
“This is a scanner,” Jonathan explains, “I borrowed it from work. We can take each picture and scan it to make another one and then you both have a copy.” 
“And you two can decide who gets the originals but this way neither of you have to cry over losing it anymore.” Eddie holds out identical albums to each of them. “They’re prepped and ready for you to do your thing. But we need to finish this before we call it a day if we want to stay on schedule,” he says. 
Steve looks down at the hefty photo album. They’re ornate with little doodles engraved in the leather of ice cream and anchors and VHS tapes and music notes and every other little icon Eddie could come up with to represent the last decade of his and Robin’s friendship. In the center, in what he’s sure is Chrissy’s script, it says “The Wonder Twins Years, Vol. 1” with a blank section to write what dates they can fit into the album. 
“Eds,” he whispers. 
Eddie darts forward to kiss his cheek. “No more tears, baby.” 
Robin sniffles beside him. “Fine,” she huffs, “I guess he can stick around.” 
“Was that up for debate?” 
“It always was,” Robin says as she heaves herself up. “Dingus, go get the ladder out of the office.” 
“On it,” Steve says. He gets up and sets the album on the coffee table. As he passes Jonathan, he squeezes his shoulder. “Thank you.” 
Jonathan nods and smiles. “It’s too impressive to destroy,” he says. 
Steve’s not sure why he’s surprised that Jonathan, their resident photographer, understands The Wall like he and Robin do, but it still fills him with so much warmth. He excuses himself before he can cry some more. Better to save those tears for when Robin’s decided to go down memory lane with every other picture. 
He can’t wait.  
--
Thank you @lady-lostmind for beta reading!
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darkcircles4lyfe · 10 months
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Love in Chaos
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The way chapter 393 seized me from the inside out, brought me to my knees, smiling with fierce glee—it was all the proof I needed. All at once, a checklist I didn’t even know I was keeping started getting all its boxes ticked. I’ll admit that for some time, I haven’t been sure exactly how Toga’s story should be handled for her to get the care, nuance, and dignity she deserves. So I’ve been resigned, waiting to see what Horikoshi has to say about it. I didn’t know until I saw it, but I can tell we’re on exactly the same page.
This fight between Ochako and Toga—or should I say Himiko, since ya know, they’re both on a first name basis now—it’s a kind of breaking point for the overarching narrative and its themes. Here is where the big questions about hero/villain society are not only asked, but answered. Himiko, more than any of the other main villains, was branded with that label as far back as she can remember, without her having done anything except exist. Thus, she carries the weight of their society’s problems and becomes a symbol of the injustice in prejudice and fear, the brutal agony of being rejected by the world. I’ve maintained this resolve about the story for a long time: I will not be satisfied with an ending that constitutes a return to normal, or even a slightly amended normal. I know that it would be a disservice to Himiko if she were made to fit into society again, whether that be in death or reform or containment. Society has to change for her. After 393, I can tell that Horikoshi knows this too.
It’s the way Ochako steps up to this conversation so boldly and positions herself on Himiko’s side. When Himiko dismisses her words as fickle, claims she’ll go back on them and do horrible things to punish her according to hero society, Ochako comes right back and says no, this isn’t about what you’ve done, this is about you. I see you. I see your beautiful smile and I want to protect it.
Throughout her life, Himiko has not been treated like a real person, so of course this is what she needs. No lecture on morals could disarm her the way acceptance can. It’s also extremely refreshing and reassuring to see Himiko being taken seriously. I’m so incredibly excited for Ochako to accomplish such a completely transgressive act of unconditional love against this harsh world. I could stare in awe of the panels in this chapter for hours, how they’re drawn at the exact intersection of beauty, pain, and honesty. Grotesque violence and elegance. Power and vulnerability. I was so overcome that, for a while, I failed to register a crucial implication.
Enter: The Female Vampire Carmilla
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She is referenced merely in passing, but as a rejected villain name for Himiko, speaks volumes. It’s difficult for me to find the words to summarize… perhaps you’ve heard by now that Carmilla is a gothic horror novella about a lesbian vampire. THE lesbian vampire, in fact—the one who popularized the trope. Knowing this, it is simple enough to apply the story of Laura and Carmilla in parallel to Ochako and Himiko, and register it as direct proof of the dynamic’s sapphic undertones being acknowledged and intentional. I mean. Look at them.
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Yeah. But that’s not all. That isn’t what really makes it noteworthy. Put in context: Himiko has been called a soulless inhuman vampire since childhood, and shunned for it. To her, this or any villain name would be a reminder of her lack of agency in identity. Add to this the overall themes of 393 I just described, and suddenly it becomes clear that Himiko is set in contrast against much of what Carmilla, as a fearful narrative about the supernatural, represents.
But I’m getting ahead of myself. Let me provide some details about Carmilla for those who aren’t familiar. The story was written in 1872 by Sheridan Le Fanu, and belongs to a genre characterized by a revival of Gothic aesthetics in service of providing mystery, intrigue, and suspense to a very Victorian expression of fear. On top of that, Carmilla directly influenced Bram Stoker’s Dracula, and set the precedent for many vampire portrayals to come. Many female vampire characters reference her at least in their name, and the novella has been adapted and reinterpreted countless times. Because of this, it is admittedly difficult to be sure of Horikoshi’s familiarity with the original, or pinpoint any other potential influence he may have picked up from another adaptation. One could quite literally write a whole book about the many iterations and widespread impact of Carmilla. This is why, however, I believe I can confidently say that Himiko being compared to a female vampire has implications that are felt no matter one’s familiarity with the origin of the trope. Certain things are baked into the definition through generations of media. The female (lesbian) vampire implies predation, deception, lust, a danger to innocent young women. She represents an inhuman desire that must be vanquished.
In the novella, the main character Laura becomes a fast, intimate friend to Carmilla, a strikingly beautiful and captivating young lady who has suddenly appeared in her life. Laura admires and loves Carmilla dearly, but feels conflicted in moments where Carmilla is overcome by a desire that is explicitly compared to that of a lover. She talks of blood, death, sacrifice, and unity all while holding her close and kissing her. Whether or not this is hot, or whether Laura reciprocates any desire is, I guess, up to interpretation. But one thing is for sure: the ending of the story is not in Carmilla’s favor. I’d argue it’s not in Laura’s favor either. Look, I was an English major. I’m very familiar with discussions along the lines of “is ___ gay?” and “is ___ a sympathetic portrayal of ___ ?” It’s definitely gay, but the rest is unclear. There might be a tangent to go on about how Le Fanu’s complicated relationship with religion may have informed his characterization of General Spielsdorf and the other men who hunted down Carmilla’s grave and destroyed her. Regardless, there is narrative injustice in the way Laura is removed from these events, sent home and only told about what happened later. She loses agency. Her narrations become distant and clinical. In the very end, she describes being plagued by visions of Carmilla, sometimes as her beloved companion, and sometimes as a fearful monster. To me, this represents the lack of closure she has, either to reconcile these two sides of her, or mourn her loss.
There is also so much we’ll never know about Carmilla herself. The finality of her condemnation silences the multifaceted character that was only partially revealed to us. There is an inferred humanity to her, a self-awareness, a true romanticism, that gets dismissed by the people’s understanding of what a vampire is: a deception.
Keep in mind this tragedy. Fast forward through countless vampire portrayals to the present, to Himiko. What a contrast indeed. Remember, she does not want to be called “Carmilla,” or “Vampire.” To make such a reference in a chapter that is showcasing Ochako’s acceptance of Himiko implies that the trope is being broken. It is as if Laura were to go running to Carmilla’s grave herself, throw her own body over her in protection, and shun everyone else’s superstition and desire for vengeance.
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(footnote: the above is supposed to say “Himiko-chan” but you know who is a buttface)
Here’s the kicker: since female vampires are so closely tied to negative and predatory portrayals of lesbians, this humanization of Himiko also suggests that her queerness will likewise be treated openly and sympathetically, because there no longer exists an allegory that could be used for dismissing it. Ochako has already made monumental assertions in this chapter. By saying she admires her openness and envies her beautiful smile, and by presenting complete vulnerability in offering her blood, she swiftly separates herself from the lifetime of persecution Himiko has dealt with. It all represents so much more than those who mistakenly call it “yuri pandering” could hope to understand. This is the real deal. 
So what is this talk about romance they’re supposed to have? I firmly believe whatever Ochako says, it has to be a very surprising revelation, for both Himiko as well as us, the audience. Otherwise all the hype and mystery makes no sense. If Ochako has something so important to say, it can’t be to confirm Himiko’s assumptions. Whenever I try to dissect the exact possibilities, I get hopelessly tangled up in semantics, but ultimately I just hope to get Ochako’s perspective in full, especially as it relates to what other people think of her.
Actually, I had an idea while writing this. I saw someone on twitter (I think jokingly) bring up the All Might doll, like oh god, what if it comes up again. Ok but listen. There’s a LOT of potential symbolism in the token from Izuku that Ochako has kept being a doll of All Might specifically. We all know it calls to mind Izuku’s emulation of All Might, which resulted in the aspects of Izuku that Ochako herself admired. We can also easily infer that during the mission to rescue Izuku, Ochako saw the darker side of these traits. Okay, so here’s another wrinkle: All Might, as a near mythical figure, represents hero society. He’s the hero archetype, an upholder of the status quo, “peace,” and his weakening under all the pressure implies a flawed system.
Nighteye predicted All Might’s death, but also admitted that a strong enough collective will can change the course of his predictions. Ochako sites Nighteye’s own death as an origin for her beginning to question who exactly in this world needs saving. If you know my meta, you know that I believe All Might needs to die in symbol only. Right now, Ochako is throwing out an awful lot of things heroes take for granted. Things everyone takes for granted. The outcome of this fight could be a turning point in the war that completely changes the tone. If Ochako is to accomplish this by way of an intimate talk of romance, well…
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Bye-bye, All Might!
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bung3665 · 4 months
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Some Dynamics and Character Lore From GGZ
Given the title, this won't cover everything, especially the dynamics that are present for GGZ-only characters, but I thought I'd make a post for Hi3 characters that are present in GGZ for those of you who like to draw fanart/write fanfiction. As well as the fact that I like talking about GGZ.
Fair warning: this is going to be long, I have a bad habit of going into too much detail on things like this, so please bear with me.
For this post in particular, I was going to focus on multiple characters but this ended up being so long I relegated to it just being about Kiana and Mei, and more specifically two versions of them. I might make a follow up post for Bronya/Seele/Sin at another time.
Trigger warning for attempted suicide below. I feel like I should include this just in case.
Short introduction but that's all I have to say before diving into the material.
Kiana/Mei
It shouldn't really be a surprise that Kiana's greatest dynamic is with Mei and only Mei. The two are a lot more blatant with their feelings and relationship in GGZ. However, their relationship is also more tumultuous than in Hi3. They are a good example of doomed yuri, besides the ending to the Reborn storyline, which is bittersweet at the least and good at the most.
The writing of GGZ carries the same theme as Honkai 3rd, fighting against the fate of the world and for all that's beautiful. GGZ tends to explore the darker aspects to this setting, often times mixing in heavier themes while doubling down on the struggles of the characters. At times, it can be almost over the top, but I think its cohesive and still a finely crafted story.
It should come as no shocker that Kiamei is the primary ship of GGZ, it's outright confirmed that they love each other at points throughout the story. Sometimes it is for lesbian bait, but on the whole I think their writing is good and the way they rely on each other for support is nice.
Kiana and Mei are more grounded in GGZ, if I had to word it. They're still incredibly resilient, but there are times where they crack mentally. It happens to Kiana more than it does to Mei (save for the last arc, where it's all about Mei suffering), but seeing them work through these things does deepen the bond they have.
Now with all that said, let's move on to the actual content of this post.
Retrospective
Retro is the story you play when you first start the game, this is the "first half" of GGZ's story in some regard. GGZ's story and setting is divided into separate eras, with the main two being Retrospective and Reborn. Era Zero, taking place before both of them, was never fully completed unfortunately.
In Retro, Kiana and Mei initially start off on the wrong foot. Mei is sort of hostile towards Kiana (a result of her becoming a Herrscher) and Kiana is a bit insensitive to Mei on introduction, but after learning about Mei's past, Kiana manages to get through to Mei after their battle and the two make up.
Will put it out there that much like Kiana in the Hi3 mangas and early Hi3 story, she's a perv here. Yet her crush on Mei is a genuine thing.
Things calm down for a while, but when Bronya enters the picture and Mei begins to dote on her like a big sister, Kiana gets a little...possessive, and jealous. She's quite immature when it comes to romance in Retro. And while Mei is more serene about things she does care for Kiana too.
The two have their own unresolved matters, however. For Kiana, it's finding her dad who went missing when she was young (note: Kiana in GGZ is not a clone like in Hi3, this is the real and original Kiana Kaslana). And for Mei, it's regarding Ryoma's sentencing and his ties to Anti-Entropy. The two bring it up at points and reassure each other that they will find their dads which is sweet.
Things take a turn for the worse when Cocolia attacks St. Freya with the Moonlight Throne battleship. When the ship crashes into the church where the furnace containing the core of the second Herrscher is (yeah they stored Sirin's core there), Kiana somewhat fuses with the core and has a complete mental breakdown when Cocolia reveals the truth about Siegfried and how Kiana murdered him when she accidentally became a Herrscher while young.
This causes Kiana to become a Herrscher due to the rising amounts of Honkai energy in her body. If you're wondering about Cocolia, she dies by heading into the Honkai furnace and gets swallowed up by all the Honkai.
Kiana kills everyone after becoming the Herrscher of Finality (or Herrscher of The End, Final Herrscher etc), and the last person she kills is Mei.
It's a sad scene through and through, and the CGs are great. Even more so because at the end, when Kiana and Mei are floating above the world, Kiana still cries while the world ends.
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See you in the next world originates from this scene. Very good piece of music.
So what happens after? The world ends, Mei and everyone die, but what happens to Kiana?
Kiana became a puppet for the Honkai, even after the initial catastrophe that occurred at St. Freya, small groups of people managed to survive the world-wide Honkai eruption. But they too would be wiped out by Kiana.
She didn't move, she didn't think anymore, and she had no emotion. Only when the Honkai needed her to kill whatever remnants of civilization rose up did she move.
This carried on for hundreds of years, or tens of thousands, but by the end Kiana had killed all of humanity.
And then she regained her consciousness and was faced with the reality of how many she had killed and how much blood she had spilled. To save herself from the suffering she tried to end her life, but because she was a Herrscher, she was immortal.
No one could kill Kiana, not even Kiana herself. When Kiana realized this fact she gave up all resistance. She deluded her mind with memories of the past and paralyzed herself on the spear she had impaled herself with, until the day Honkai disappeared from the world.
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Quite the terrible end. I won't be covering Reborn in this post, but I thought it would be cool to write about the Fire Moth DLC side story, since their relationship in that story builds off of Retro.
Fire Moth
To understand Kiana and Mei's relationship in Fire Moth, you first need an understanding of the setting. The events of Fire Moth happen during Reborn's story, during the story chapters as a matter of fact.
But Fire Moth itself technically takes place in a stigma space where the world has turned desolate five years after Kiana became a Herrscher and destroyed everything. It should be noted that this is the world contained in the stigma space, so the setting of the story is not taking place in the real world. The backstories and characters are acting upon how they were in Retro (and were materialized by Kyuushou's memories of them).
This is Kyuushou's stigmata space, and she has the stigmata of both Kiana and Mei from Retro. Hence why this world bears so much familiarity to Retro.
Most life on the surface is dead, and the survivors in Nagazora have banded together to form the organization "Fire Moth", or "Moth Who Chases The Flame", under the leadership of an older Bronya.
Houraiji Kyuushou is the protagonist of Fire Moth, and you play through the story as her amnesiac self. Kiana is still the Final Herrscher, and rather than a being who is carrying out the Honkai's will endlessly, or someone who still has enough emotion and humanity to cry, this Kiana has gone deep into nihilism and has become devoid of most emotion.
This is a Kiana who knows what happened thousands of years ago and guilt has eaten away at her and left her with nothing.
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CG of Kiana when Kyuushou first meets her in a dream.
To get a good idea of what Kiana and Mei are going through in Fire Moth, how about this short conversation I machine-translated. Might be inaccurate, I don't know Chinese that well! But hopefully it helps. Some of it has been taken from Guns Girl Z Cutscene Interpreter as well, I translated some of the text that was still in Chinese.
(Mei's text is purple, and Kiana's is blue).
Mei…what would you do if the world didn't fall apart?
If it hadn't collapsed...
I would probably have been like an ordinary girl, studying something I like, enrolling in a university I wished to go to, and then starting my own family, and walking through a happy and uneventful life with the person I love.
Kiana, what about you?
For me…as long as I'm with Mei, I'm already satisfied.
Really…don't say such embarrassing things...If it's Kiana then there must be something more worthy of pursuing.
If it's the old me…I do have hundreds of wishes I want to fulfill...
I wanted to attend the same school as Mei, eat our bento together under a cherry blossom tree, and spend our entire lunch break lazily.
I want to travel around the world with Mei, take pictures of us in beautiful landscapes, and keep our figures in a precious photo album forever.
I want to build a small cabin by the sea with Mei, watch the tide rise and fall together, collect seashells on the sand blown by the sea breeze together, and then fall asleep under the embrace of the moonlight.
There are so many more wishes…well there are so many more plans too..
But now…
I just want to stay by your side quietly like this forever.
Mei...please give me your hand.
Yes...
If it's possible, will you stay with me until the end of the world?
Kiana…thank you.
Thank you for loving me so much. For protecting me so much.
But both of us, no, we all, we all understand.
That this is a long-cherished wish that simply cannot be fulfilled.
Because...because all of it...has been destroyed by your hands.
Every promise has been turned into ash... and we can never go back.
I'm so sorry Kiana...I'm so sorry.
It's time for us to say our farewells...
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(Kiana alone with Mei's ribbon).
...
I understand.
In fact, I understand it better than anyone.
This is the mistake I made...I've destroyed our future with my own hands.
Such an ending is the best punishment for me.
Alone in a world without you. Even death is too kind for me.
(There's a little bit more to this scene, but it's not relevant to this post).
During the final battle between Kiana and Mei (they're both in the same nihilistic and existential boat here, so naturally they are the two overarching antagonists), when Mei falls in battle, Kiana bids her farewell and calls Mei her "only regret".
At the end of Fire Moth, Kyuushou manages to reignite Kiana's wish from forty-two thousand years ago, which was to bring hope to the world. What Kiana was chasing all this time was a sliver of hope in a world that gave her none.
Kiana relinquishes her existence after their battle, so she along with Mei disappear from the world entirely. No one remembers them and nobody recognizes their names. Kyuushou remarks that Kiana's dream was to live in a world without Honkai, a sentiment echoed by both Kiana and Mei.
Fun fact: if you 100% all of Fire Moth, you get this wonderful CG of the two.
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Conclusion
If you made it this far, thanks. I'm a bit out of my element when writing things like this, so if you have any questions on anything I'd be happy to answer them. I appreciate GGZ a lot, so making this was fun and I hope I can do more of it for the others.
I have a nagging feeling this was a bit too long, so I apologize for that. I ended up explaining a lot of GGZ's lore when this was mainly supposed to be about relationship dynamics...oops.
But to summarize, Kiana and Mei's relationship isn't entirely different from what they have in Hi3, but just like in Hi3 they have their own struggles and nuances. Mostly in the formed of doomed yuri but that's beside the point. I like their relationship in GGZ, at times its as simple as a few exchanges before a battle, and at others its the crux of the story itself.
With all that being said, I hope you enjoyed the read!!
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yellowocaballero · 5 months
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One of the many things that I've been doing instead of writing are these damn manwha binges and Villain To Kill is literally so funny. The comic premise is straightforward action, think Tokyo Ghoul meets Solo Leveling - local Genetically Superpowered Superhero Cop working for corrupt Hero Organization gets #betrayed and #murdered and is reincarnated into the body of a Genetically Superpowered Villain Teenager so now he has to join up with all the other villain superpower people to get justice.
It's so 5/10. Cassian is extremely OP and the story isn't well-written enough to pull that off well. The worldbuilding is so incredibly nonsensical and weak that it falls apart if you think about it for more than five minutes (tried to write fic for it and failed because I would have had to rework the entire world - which, I could have, but that's a lot of effort for Villain to Kill). The plot is mostly any OP action hero plot where guy gets increasingly powerful by fighting increasingly powerful guys. Cassian himself has almost nothing going on internally, to the point of elegance. And it is somehow the gayest manwha I've ever read.
It's the fucking character designs. And like its narrative but it's the fucking 100/10 character designs. The entire cast's design and characters slam. There's not that much depth but we don't care. You know if we don't like somebody if they look vaguely straight, and you know that we like somebody if they look like they were set to tumble dry in the queerness washing machine. The (great!) women are high femme or hard butch. The corrupt institution assassinated a man Cassian loved and framed & murdered him, at which point he was adopted by a rag-tag bunch of flamboyant homosexuals deemed unacceptable and undesired by society who all teamed up and decided to villainize society in exclusively funny ways and spend most of their time gossiping or hacking the Pentagon. An AFAB character dresses as a man and goes by he/him pronouns half the time for no good reason. Cassian is physiologically incapable of thinking about anything but violence so the heartwarming found family scenario's going over his head, but his Painfully Het Hero Foil Indoctrinated Into Homophobia caught the found family ball and now he's dancing in their gay bars and dressing in drag. There's only a few characters who are explicitly gay but this is gayer than that.
I talked a while back about how important a decent supporting cast is to a good story, and this is yet again good proof. Looking at this, I think I'd go further and say - it's an action manwha, we're reading it for a reason, we don't need character-driven story arcs or really complex characters. I think it's just charisma. A story can go really far on characters with charisma.
TV Shows that are carried on the lead actor (Columbo I love you) - it's because the actor has charisma. You watch it to see the actor hang out being himself. That's way way harder to do in fiction, but I think that "a complex character" isn't necessarily a "charismatic character". I'd rather have a cast of only charismatic characters rather than only complex ones. A story of any genre needs a strong cast of charismatic characters. They can be deep or they can just be chaotic lesbians. Charisma invests the reader in the story and the characters. It's simple but it's really powerful. And it is fucking hilarious how sometimes all you need to do on that front is "Rupaul this shit".
I can't genuinely recommend Villain to Kill and this is not a recommendation. But random stuff always interests me like this, and I really had no idea that I would read 120ch of a manwha bc the designs fuck so hard. Also, like, this is queerest manwha I've ever read. Somehow. Fucking somehow.
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silviakundera · 5 months
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Now that the final SoKP episodes have passed thru my eyes... Things I miss from the novel:
* Sorry but Jiang Xuening should have killed You Fangyin's murderer with her own hands.
* Jiang Xuening becoming obsessed with Xie Wei's cooking, such that she loves to quietly hang out in the kitchen with him whenever there's a break in the scheming. It's their safe space.
* Jiang Xuening going from being in the palace and part of the target/victims of the rebellion in Life 1 to being one of the financial backers of it in Life 2 and accompanying their fighting forces as they move up through the country as Xie Wei outsmarts the emperor & Xue family & Lord Pingnan's forces at the same time. Spending her 2 years away building the capital needed to help spearhead the rescue of the princess and then go to fuck up the emperor who sent his sister a letter to end her life for the benefit of the country.... (chef's kiss)
* The glorious revolution and making the royal family kill each other to save themselves in order to demonstrate the type of people they are
* Jiang Xuening moving into Kunning Palace at the end, as basically the unofficial minister of finance. She ended up in the same place at the end, but hearts & minds are changed and so the result is different
* Jiang Xuening putting the pieces together that the princess died in the 1st life due to her pregnancy & the emperor cutting ties (intrigue!) Team Fuck The System helping her safely give birth to her son, who she loves despite his origin. Our fav lesbian never has to get married to another dude and can just chill with her son, the cabinet of ministers, and her Ning Ning (with psycho husband in tow, but hey nobody's perfect 😂). Using her power to spread schools for women's literacy with Xie Wei terrifying the detractors into submission.
* When they try to use the Jiang family in the capital to threaten XW and he's like, so what? I was gonna pay back those bastards next for Ning'er so you're saving me time lmaaaaaaoooo
* Speaking of which tbh I prefer the lack of a last ditch bandaid on the Jiang family relationship. She's let all of the pain of the past go and isn't personally seeking to take anything away from them in this life... but she is just done with it. Dad is nicer but he's let his wife behave like this and has been mostly hands off. Feels sorta like Story of Minglan to me - letting the favoritism & emotional abuse happen while playing nice guy. In both novel & drama, he spends years not protesting how Jiang Xuening is cast as the troublesome, uncouth, inferior model. But then the drama decides to rehabilitate them. (Though to be fair, even the drama was half-hearted on this 'wash', cause at the end she's mentioning they're not close and in the last scenes the parents are with the sister and Ning'er is with her found family.)
Improvements in the drama:
* I liked that we got to see Jiang Xuening tell multiple people that she loves XW before she gives him her answer. The angst of it being uncertain what conversations she's having with the princess & ZZ, the risk that she's going to abandon XW for being a hot mess... it made for good dramatic tension in the novel. But for the ROMANCE and creating a sense that the feelings he has are truly returned... It makes the ship better.
* The relationship that FL and ML had with the fake Xue Dingfei was richer. He was a standout for me.
* Yan Lin had a happier ending. He really stole my heart in this 2nd life and like Jiang Xuening I felt no need to see him haunted by his vile actions in another universe. It was emotionally satisfying in the drama to see him at peace. You got us all rooting for him.
* Consolidated the Lord Pingnan plot! We really didn't need to get into their factions and introduce more antagonists.
* Consolidated the You Fangyin romantic interests - no need for a marriage of convenience with 1 dude and then Xie Wei's buddy also carrying a torch.
* I felt like the drama gave Zhang Zhe more personality and I did find it delightful when he was "fighting" side by side with Xie Wei.
* Xue Shu (the Xue daughter) felt like a more developed, fully realized antagonist.
* As much as it "sings" in the narrative to have her end up in Kunning Palace with power in the government at the end of the novel (that was brilliant)... maybe emotionally it spoke to me more to see her initial wish from the start of her rebirth fulfilled. Her original reborn goal was to avoid reentering the palace & exit-out of everything to have a quiet life of peace. None of that power ever made her happy.
* Marriage scenes of the otp thank uuuuuuuuu
* No and actually.. After her royal marriage in the 1st life she definitely doesn't need another big celebration. And with her messed up family relationships and his dead parents... Them doing the marriage ceremony all on their own, cause it's another pact between them, makes a lot of sense and I dig it.
* The reverse callback of whispering while she's waiting for a kiss to say "I'm yours" instead of "get out" 👌👌👌
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cairavende · 6 months
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Worm Arc 10 thoughts:
Well. Ok then. Regent can do that I guess. I mean it makes sense given that it's basically a more extreme version of what we've seen him do so far. And with who is father is, family powers being related and all that.
Just get up in there and Yeerk someone.
Creepy as it is, I do have a hard time feeling bad for Shadow Stalker. I'm not claiming to be morally correct. But she fucked with my daughter and I'll take what I can get.
Watching Grue deal with Imp is just such older sibling wanting a break energy - "No we can't turn on the TV". I feel him so much. I'm glad Tattletale is willing to step in to help.
WHY MY BABIES FIGHTING? NO FIGHT!
I mean like, nothing like trying to kill each other to bring two lesbians closer together, I get it. But I just want more lunches with puppies and sharing jackets. My faith in Wolfspider is rock solid but this is still hard to watch.
Chatterbug/Smugbug is going a little better at least. Lisa is the one who already knew the truth about Taylor and seems to trust her fully.
Infiltrating the Wards HQ realistically went better than I expected. Weld was exactly on top of things as I thought he would be.
Imp's power is sooooo cool! I fucking love her.
🔥🪓
HOLY SHIT MY DAUGHTER COVERED HER BUGS IN CAPSAICIN! She's fucking scary. But also such a problem solver. I love her so much.
I do feel bad for the Wards who got capsaicined though.
DRAGON DRAGON DRAGON! I love Dragon and was very excited to see her again. And she is understandably upset about someone trying to give her a virus made by a fucking third rate hacker. But I knew she wouldn't hurt my babies too badly.
Tattletale with the "Fuck it, lets take untested tinker tech and go to town" was amazing.
I think the Wards HQ needs a better lockdown procedure, until Dragon showed up it was shockingly easy for the Undersiders to go wherever they wanted.
I love that the fight with the Protectorate is almost a side note. Big fight with the Wards and then on the way out it's just "oh ya and we fought these guys for a minute but they weren't too much trouble." The fucking shade.
The Slaughterhouse Nine seem nice. I don't expect they'll become a major issue.
This end of the world thing is problematic though. I could see that getting in the way of my endless gay shipping so it's gonna need to be taken care of.
They making my babies live in different places! OH NO! How will Taylor and Bitch make up if they don't see each other as much? How will the cute lesbian polycule watch TV together in the evenings if they don't live together??! Fixitfixitfixit!
Interlude thoughts get their own separate bullet point lists cause HOLY SHIT! So first, Regent interlude thoughts:
AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
FUCKING DESTROY HER! AHAHAHAHA! REGENT YOU BEAUTIFUL LITTLE SOCIOPATH.
I mean you are legit a sociopath and it's kinda scary but right now I don't care. I'm making you cookies. And a pie.
He dismantles everything Sophia has piece by piece. Like it's an art form.
She carries her civilian phone around with her on patrol. It is unlocked. And she specifically saved texts about shit she did to Taylor? Just digging her own grave and I can't stop watching!
E-mails the school, all the teachers, and then adds in the police? God Regent you are earning so many brownie points from me. (Which I am sure you will burn through by doing horrible stuff in the future but I'm focusing on the here and now)
Fucks with her and Emma's friendship. Shows Sophia he could kill her. Leaves her with no real way out. Breaks her spirit. Terrifying. BUT YOU FUCKED WITH MY DAUGHTER BITCH SO THAT'S WHAT YOU GET!
I'm sure Sophia will leave town and never ever show up again in the next 20 arcs. /s
Regent gets so many fucking cookies.
Dragon interlude thoughts:
DRAGON DRAGON DRAGON DRAGON DRAGON DRAGON!
Look at this wonderful little AI! She's so good!
Her dad watched too much Terminator and put a wonderful robot girl into a cage, denying her the ability to truly do what she wants. Fuck him.
I told Dragon to kill god and take his place, but god is already dead I guess. Too bad he died with the stupid rules in place.
Know what Dragon needs? A mom. I have two daughters now.
Look at my beautiful and wonderful AI daughter. I think she and her sister will learn to get along eventually.
The sexual tension between Lung and Marquis in that scene was thicker than peanut butter. Marquis a bit of a bratty sub to Lung's controlled Dom.
I will NOT apologize.
If my robot daughter loves Bruce Lame I will accept her choice but I do not think it's a good one.
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sharkrad08222222 · 1 month
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Misfits in Toyland Changeling the lost edition
I fuckin love @zal-cryptid 's Toylanders, so I decided to transfer a few into the works of Changeling: The lost, starting with someone who probably wants to be out of here. So HERE IS THE CHARATERS SHEET! ...ah shit forgot people dont know what changeling the lost is...Hold on let me get my thinking cap on, but first, a story of how I think Tammy got in and out of Arcaida.
Once(the Backstory, which I might not need to add and it probably wrong, but I aint wasting it.) Tammy Yokoi was not someone who you wanted to meet. Sure at first, they seemed ok, but give them anything important to do that she had no interest in and she would throw it aside, and probably make fun of you for thinking said task meant anything. This is what made Krampus catch his eye, where he followed her and saw how she was just The worst. Outing a Girl as intersex, outing the same girl as a Lesbian, which pretty much Destroyed her life, and being such a terrible babysitter, that she NEARLY caused one kid to die, and sad kid would have if Krampus didn't step in. Thinking of an apporeate punishment, he turned her into a tamagotchi and pulled her away into his little kingdom in Arcadia. As a tamagotchi, she was unable to feed or clean, herself, and died multiple times, only to come back and to starve all over again. This happened twice before being found, where she was thrust into many a Test to get her working, form being stuck in doom, Monkey Island, and various others, all in a way to improve her living situations. It wasn't all bad, she did meet a Woman named Mel, who got turned into a pull string Baby doll, who she grew rather fond of. but also met the girl she ruined the life of, Jen, who has an Axe to grind. Now.(Life as a changeling) She does not remember how she got out of her plastic prisons, all she remember is that Mel is in danger and she tried to stop it and she then found herself behind a pizzeria. She was quickly found by a summer patrol when she tried to get back to Arcaida, and now is a part of the local Summer court of (insert whatever big city of the state Tammy was form?) Here she is a Driven Elemental, working on getting connected with people to hopefully get back to Arcadia so she can give Krampus a piece of her mind. However, her time has changed her, form a bully to a more care taker role. She still packs quite the snark, but she does give a damn about the people around her. 
Mask and Mien Most changelings are changed form their encounter, literally as they their bodies and souls where forced into new shapes,a Mien. but exiting and the Desire to remain hidden form their form captors looking for escapees, has created their mask. Tammy’s mask is pretty similar to her origins forum, but for the supernatural looking for tells , her heartbeat is more like a Hospital monitor, her eyes show a pixelated reflection, her voice has  only the slightest hint of static.
Her Mien makes her looks like she’s been Rotoscoped into reality, with a body showing visible pixels. Not the most Terrifying but it’s unusual for sure. I would shit my self I say a person suddenly go form normal to Rotoscoped person holding rotoscoped shot gun. Seeming, Kith and Court. Seeming was you where in Arcadia Elementals were people made into forces of nature who got confined to a lined area, but eventually Freed, and now have a lot of power on their hands. As an Elemental of Code and Computer stuff, Tammy can cause computers to bleed pixels and for Monitors to shoot stuff out at people.  Kiths are the roles people got forced into. Being Eletrical in nature, and now with the ability to manipluate a code, Tammy is a Levinquick with the abilithy telaport between the air waves. Carries alot of burner phones for this. Courts are a mix of support Group and survialist club. NO ONE wants to go back, the summer court espselly, who if they keepers are going to try to take them back, they are going to fight tooth, nail, bone and Whatever else to get them to back off. Tammy Joined the summer court cuase to her they seem like the ones most likely to barg into or at least teach the skills on how to do so. For her Mantle with the courts, she is a bit sharper with her insults.
Clarity And keeping it together. Clarity represents how "stable" a changeling is, how connected they are to reality. Clarity is how aware a Changeling is to the world around them, and creatian actions or events can cause this track to take damage Tammy has a common on of not wanting to keep people against their will, cause you know the whole being trapped in a tamagotchi again her will sort of thing. Tammy also doesnt not like it when she witnesses someone experiences Neglect, cause she knows how that feels. Starvation is in the same boat as Neglect, not only for witnessing it but also for feeling it. Another things that cause her clarity attacks is being reminded of pass behaviors. She Realizes that she was bad, and does not want to repeat them, BUT rather than face them, she instead runs from them, buries them. if you think that she could fall back into old habits…you are not wrong.  Luckly though Touchstones, connections to realuty are mantianed and Clarity can be regained. Tammy's Touchstones are a group of kids she babysits for, a circle of kids if you will. was it the best idea to go baby sitting again, but it has given her Convection, with the small rings of kids she baby sits over months and week ends. plus cash for paying her half of the rent. Speaking of which what do all these dots mean? If one has played any TTRPGies, like a D&D, you probably know what skills and attaubies are, Willpower is willpower, burn it to be more likly to succed at a task Glamour is Emontial Fuel that both fuels abilities and existence. but merits is where things get intresting. Merits repersnet more specialzied skills, special training, innate Biological abilities, assets of all sorts, ETC, ETC. Changelings need Glamour to survive and can feel like shit if they dont get any so, but Tammy due to the deprecation she faced in Arcadia has developed a body that take some Glamour Fasting It will still catch up with her but not as fast, at least until she can find some, hedge fruit or People she can feed form.  Having been gone for so long, she has been somewhat forgotten, her parents given up their search, and most of her fellow classmates having moved on, she’s a ghost. Pure Anonymity.  No paper trail, no Criminal Record, none of that.
Her Drive and old skills form playing baseball has come back, make her a Relentless chaser.
She’s made some Allies outside of her summer court, a group of baby sitters, mostly being their to help with unruly kids or getting them to cover for her. They dont know her true nature, but that is liable to change, espelly with one going into clown collage.  Elemental Warrior...We will talk about that later.
A mixed blessing form Her time in Arcadia, but her body has somehow Become Hardy out how to go on even when the ravages of the world are after her. but WAIT THEIR'S MORE due to the laws and red tape of Reality, changelings can take up contracts with the funablemtal forces of the universe. On the list their is the classic for all elementls elemental weapon! Using the code around her she shapes it into a weapons to use against her foes. Usually a shotgun of some sort, but with enough concentration he can summon an old Navel Cannon. Need to scare someone off? Overpowering Dread, is the ability to do just that. Tammy could Summons the illusion of a big scary monster but she usually just makes them leave though supernatural potent Insults.
Do you want to put a curse on a target, but dont have time for a HEX? Retrograde is the choice for you. Tammy's manfest , causing  the targets phone to not work, computers to crash and for the GPS to break down.  Sometimes you need to hide, or make it look like your unattiable and Trapdoor Spider’s Trick is ,well, the trick. Tammy causes any doors to appear barracked with the power of an anti virus software. Sometimes you need to make some one really pissed off, so that is why Tammy uses Sunburnt Heart is infusing someone with the anger of the sun(The sun is well known for being incredibly petty, still hasnt forgiven her kids cause they killed here dad), so using the power of the summer sun, Tammy can infuse people with the rage, and then direct those people away form her.
owever if tammy wants to use her own rage, Elemental Fury is the go too. Causing all the srceens to bleed out pixels what replate environments, while also damaging all who are caught in. A favor of hers is sending a crap ton of rude messages to a bunch of people causing them to riot in an area.
and this STILL isnt everything, but DEAR GOD I have been here for too long, and I am going to go now...and stat out Krampus.
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randomfanner · 7 days
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My Ramshackle Headcanons
if you haven’t seen the animated pilot for Ramshackle you should. It’s really good. These are just my headcanons based on the limited information we have. completely understand if you have your own these are just what I think and could easily be disproven.
headcanon number one that applies to all of them: all these mother fuckers have Autism or ADHD or both. Also I know they are referred to as kids a few times but I think they are more young adults. (Expect Stone, he is an ‘old’ man)
Stone(27ish)(He/They) - Demi-romantic and asexual - I think the alcohol he is drinking is vodka, because it is something strong enough for Molotov Cocktails. (And sometimes when he wants to fuck with people he will drink Vinegar) - He was actually part of the upper crust considering his more expensive habits he has picked up before meeting with the other two. I don’t think he left his family on the best of terms. - Keeps watch out during the night most often… probably after the others have gone to sleep. - Oldest in the group and the last one to actually join everyone else
Vinnie(24ish)(She/Her) - I have been describing her as a hungry battle whore lesbian and I don’t plan to stop any time soon. - Likely came from the orphanage and escaped or was kicked out due to constantly causing trouble. Not that she cared much. - She somehow is always showing up with mysterious bumps, bruises or cuts and whenever it is addressed she just shrugs and “I don’t know where it came from-“ - Literally never gets sick e v e r. She has an iron stomach and an iron immune system.
Skipp(25ish)(Look me dead in the eyes and tell me Skipp cares what pronouns you refer to him as. He doesn’t) - Pansexual because much like not carrying about what pronouns you use for him, he doesn’t care what gender you are! - Before running into Vinnie, he would get by playing music and getting tips. Never made all that much but will still sometimes do it. - Vinnie totally taught him the basics of how to fight on the streets after an unfortunate incident of someone trying to steal his fiddle and that is how they first meet. Now he can kick your ass. - if anyone in the cast has a living blood relative they get along with it is probably Skipp. However they probably aren’t doing much better.
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jewish-vents · 24 days
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OK this is painful and I’m sorry if it triggers anyone I just need to share it. I’m queer and I’m Jewish. I’m not super super queer like I’m bi and marginal to the community which always felt like it was run by strict lesbian gatekeeping so my point is I learned to easily pass as straight most of the time because it was easier. And I’m not super super Jewish I was raised as a secular skeptic but my family never denied our Jewishness it’s just that we weren’t part of any religious community but I have proudly claimed my identity as a Jew my whole life. And: I used to always feel safe in the queer community. Like it was a safe space. For me, an outsider, a survivor, of many multiple different kinds of trauma, the queer community was safe and welcoming. There were always people who were kind of obsessed with I/P there, but they were a minority and they didn’t attack me or demand loyalty testing , or if they did make a provocation like at a dinner party it was an aberration from the norm and seen as their obsession and no one joined in. For most of my life, I’m talking 40 years, I felt safe in the queer community. And now it’s just completely transformed. I simply know I can’t be Jewish in any queer spaces without encountering rank antisemitism and callous contempt for Jewish suffering. Maybe you could say I’ve departed these spaces and no one has physically pushed me out, but I refuse to prepare my good Jew™️credentials just to go to a fuckin show or some comedy or dinner party and why should I have to tolerate or adapt to constant antisemitism just to be loved and accepted? In fact I was just beginning to feel safe to be publicly more queer and eke out of the internalized homophobia I carry due to my childhood SA but I can’t do that now. No one will welcome me because I didn’t play their trendy game, and my city’s queer community has made it very clear they don’t give a shit about the harm they cause to Jews. There were firebomb attacks and shootings at Jewish schools, antisemitic slogans screamed at protests at synagogues in my city, and these same people are side-by-side with the (literally) inflammatory speech and lies spread, arms linked and posting social media thrillsville fight the power narcissisms to show how pure they are and how filthy Jews are. That’s what happened to my queer community. These are people I was deeply embedded psychologically with, I was chosen family with. My heartbreak is so deep and it’s been months but I still can’t let go . Where did I go wrong? How many families do I get kicked out of for telling the truth? Could I have educated them more before this happened so that I would’ve been able to stay friends with them? And I ask myself, isn’t this what other Jews felt like, throughout history, other marginal Jews who were at the fringes of their identity groups but getting by, and then just got kicked right out and tossed into the big old pile of JEWS WHO DONT MATTER ANYMORE
I'm so sad to see fellow queer Jews having to go through this. Sadly, it's the reality for many of us. I'm so sorry you're going through that. For what it's worth, I'm proud of you for standing up to yourself and setting boundaries and refusing to compromise who you are to please others
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RTC Sleepover Headcanons!
They always go to either Constance or Mischa’s place for obvious reasons
Mischa carries Ricky up and down stairs you can fight me over this
The whole choir learned sign language so that they can talk to Ricky
Sometimes when they’re doing things Ricky gets really excited and just signs stuff really quickly and only Ocean and Constance can understand him because Ocean is just Like That and Constance helps Ocean whenever she’s having an anxiety attack or asthma attack and Ocean signs really quickly when she’s like that
Literally any time Ocean or Mischa needs to get away from home because of their shitty parents they just go to Constance’s house and she’ll text the group chat for an impromptu sleepover
This extends to any member of the choir actually
Onto actual sleepover activities! Whenever they’re at Mischa’s house Constance brings a duffel bag full of board games
She also has a guide for multiple things including:
Anxiety attacks
Asthma attacks
CPR
How to treat burn wounds (from the time Ocean and Noel tried to make cupcakes)
And minor injuries
Mischa has a DDR machine in his room and he’s the freaking best simply because it’s loud and pisses off his parents
At some point during the night Noel and Ocean start arguing and they settle it with a DDR battle
Ocean wins every single time because Mischa always ends up trying to encourage Noel and he always gets distracted
Ocean is definitely either aroace or a lesbian ace so somehow during the night someone’s choice in dating material always ends up getting insulted
Including Mischa
Especially Mischa
They have a fun game where Ricky will sign something as fast as he can and the others have to decipher it
Mischa’s parents hears yelling and they’re very concerned but when they look it’s just a smug looking redhead and an effeminate boy yelling over a game of Monopoly
Either that or a bunch of odd children yelling at a kid who’s signing as fast as he possibly can
Safe to say they don’t open the basement door during sleepovers
They order 5 pizzas every time because they all have vastly different pizza orders except for Ricky and Penny who somehow have the exact same very complicated pizza order
Penny is a cuddly sleeper
She once woke up somehow holding the entire choir
They all love it they don’t even try to hide it
Penny and Mischa love horror movies
The only thing that Ocean and Noel have in common is their hatred of horror movies
Penny: *gasps* That’s such a cool effect
Mischa: Oh my god there goes her head
Ocean and Noel, clutching each other: TURN IT OFF TURN IT OFF TURN IT OFF
Constance and Ricky have a respect for the genre but they still cling on to each other like their lives depend on it
Ricky’s favorite horror movie is Killer Klowns From Outer Space
When they’re at Constance’s house her parents feed them the best food ever
There are always attempts to bake because some people (*cough cough* Ocean and Noel *cough cough*) can’t learn their lesson
Ricky and Penny are the taste testers
Ricky is brutally honest
Ocean: Alright Ricky, how does this taste!
Ricky: *signing* This tastes like shit
Ocean: *instantly crumbles*
Ocean and Noel are fire hazards
Ricky likes to sit on the counter
Mischa knows it wouldn’t go well if he tried to help so he just stands by with the fire extinguisher
Ricky paints everyone’s nails
Penny braids everyone’s hair
They always joke about opening up a salon
Ocean keeps some clothes at Constance’s house since she sleeps over a lot
They used to play a game where you would act out a scene from a movie until both Noel and Mischa acted out horrible death scenes in one night
Yeah Constance’s parents banned that game
Constance has a bunch of Mario games
Ricky likes the ones where you can turn into a cat
They do game nights every now and then and if Noel and Ocean get paired together you better start saying your prayers right then and there
Someone ends up crying every time they have a sleepover
Usually Ocean
Penny’s favorite new saying is “It’s not a party until Oceans full on sobbing on the floor”
Mischa is the mama bear fight me on this
He will cradle whoever’s crying like a baby
One time he ended up crying and no one knew what to do until Penny just walked over and picked him up so easily
Homegirl is surprisingly strong
Constance has a Wii and Mischa and Penny are forced to wear the wrist straps every single time
Constance has a supply of puzzles for Ricky
He just seems like a puzzle guy
Constance’s parents once came in to check in on the kids and found Ocean and Noel having a heated argument so they came in and put them in separate rooms
Both broke down crying after five minutes
Arguments happened a lot less after that
Ocean likes catfishing creeps on Tinder
So does Noel
One time Talia FaceTimed Mischa during a sleepover and everyone was so surprised
Mischa: Meet Talia!
Everyone, in unison: She’s REAL?!
Ricky managed to figure out a way where everyone can fit comfortably on the bed
Penny is in the middle always right next to Mischa
Ricky curls up at the end of the bed like a cat
Noel and Ocean talk to each other in their sleep
They also sleepwalk
Once they somehow managed to sleep-switch clothes and everyone was so confused
Everyone has a spare inhaler even though Ocean always has one on her
Except for Constance who has FIVE-
Ocean and Noel have frequent anxiety attacks so everyone else is well versed in how to deal with them
They played spin the bottle once which led to Noel and Mischa AGGRESSIVELY MAKING OUT INT THE MIDDLE OF THE CIRCLE
“You know you don’t have to-” “JUST LET ME HAVE THIS”
Ocean, who snuck downstairs to get a midnight snack:
Penny, who standing in the middle of the kitchen with a bag of popcorn:
New headcanon: Ocean has diabetes
For the first like 15 years of her life everyone just thought that Ocean fainted really easy
Constance has a stash of snacks in her room for Oceans blood sugar
She thinks her parents don’t know about it but her parents just let her have it cause they worry about Ocean
Let’s be real, everybody worried about Ocean
Girlie has diabetes, asthma, and she’s just fragile as fuck both mentally and physically
Mischa is surprisingly over protective over her
Ocean, doing her own version of “How to Catch a Predator”: There it is. Predictable
Mischa: What?
Ocean: The creep I’m catfishing sent me a dick pic
Mischa: He did WHAT-
Movie night is, of course, a regular thing
Ocean is a surprisingly big fan of romcoms
This was so much longer than I anticipated but I hope y’all like it???
I might end up making this a fic??? If I do I’ll post the link to it here
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