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#cartman is a prick
pixels-thesaurus · 5 months
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SOUTH PARK PIXELS I MADE!! the originals were for perler beads and kandi besides the icon :)
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dollyyss · 4 months
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WRITE MORE STAN SMUT PLSSS I BEG
PEOPLE ARE SIMPINH FOR THIS MF HOLY- I DIDNT THINK I WROTE HIM THAT FUCKING GOOD- OKAY OKAY LEMME JUST.. LEMME JUST WHIP IT UP REAL QUICK FOR EVERYONE.
I think I may also start linking songs that i listen to while writing these.
Also for some reason ya’ll are flooding my inbox with this man.. is scary idk what I did to make ya’ll go FERAL BUT TAKE THIS- PLEASE DONT HURT ME
┌── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──┐
˚₊‧꒰ა ☆ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚
𝙇𝙊𝙑𝙀 𝙈𝙀, 𝙇𝙊𝙑𝙀 𝙈𝙀, 𝙇𝙊𝙑𝙀 𝙈𝙀.
𝙎𝙩𝙖𝙣 𝙢𝙖𝙧𝙨𝙝 𝙭 𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙙𝙚𝙧 ₊ ⊹
𝙀𝙨𝙩𝙖𝙗𝙡𝙞𝙨𝙝𝙚𝙙 𝙧𝙚𝙡𝙖𝙩𝙞𝙤𝙣𝙨𝙝𝙞𝙥‧₊˚✩彡
𝙂𝙚𝙣𝙙𝙚𝙧 𝙣𝙚𝙪𝙩𝙧𝙖𝙡 𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙙𝙚𝙧𐙚
𝘾𝙪𝙧𝙧𝙚𝙣𝙩𝙡𝙮 𝙥𝙡𝙖𝙮𝙞𝙣𝙜;
𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒: NSFW/SMUT. Some aggression. MDNI
└── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──┘
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𝙎𝙏𝘼𝙉’𝙎 hand gripped the red solo cup. In this moment he wasn’t exactly sure if he should have been angry at you or the jackass who thought it right to walk up to you the way he did. His fingers practically ripped the cup apart whilst his eyes tore the guy apart instead. He was seeing red, fighting every part of him to not walk up and beat him to a god damn pulp.
“Careful there Stan, you might even hurt your poor wittle finger”
Cartman patted Stan’s shoulder, laughing at his own stupid joke. When Stan didn’t say anything he only looked to the side for a moment, smile fading. It didn’t take him long to see where the issue was. He groaned rolling his eyes and looking up to the somewhat taller boy.
“What. Are you jealous?”
Stan stared daggers at cartman who whipped his head back, holding his stomach in a fit of laughter
“You look.. you look so fucking stupid jealous, stop.. please stop I can’t breathe, you’re killing me here”
“Shut. The fuck. Up. Or I’ll have you on the god floor next to him”
Stanley spat back, slamming the plastic cup down onto the table of cartman’s house. Cartman put his hands up in Defense watching him storm off.
“Jesus, tough god damn crowd”
˚₊‧꒰ა ☆ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚
Well. This is how you ended up in your predicament. Sprawled out on Stan’s bed, door locked, clothes thrown here and there, his shirt on the bed beside you, his hands in the progress of taking off his pants.
“Stan please I honestly didn’t think he was trying to flirt, he- he walked up to me and just.. he wouldn’t stop talking, baby you have to listen to me-“
He ignored you. He fucking ignored you. Stanley god damn marsh was good at keeping that stupid annoyed look on his face. Was good at staying mad at you, mastered it even, he could be a fucking prick when he wanted to keeping up the act just to piss you off, to turn it all around on you until you apologized.
“I don’t care.”
“Stan, you have to believe-“
“Fucking Christ.”
He’s in such a rush to pull down his pants, yours included. The poorly dyed blonde tossed them both to the side before letting his tongue drag up your stomach, stoping just below your jaw to bite at the soft spots on your skin, his hands roamed wildly, his touch like fire against the cold skin your nerves produced. His hand finds its spot between your legs, where it always did.. like habit, he worked on you like he knows just how to take care of you. And oh god he did. He knows what felt good, he knew what made your back arch and eyes squeeze tightly shut, what made your silly little mind shut off. He knew what made you twist the way you do.. he knew what made you spew out his name. His lips met your own, kissing with such aggression. His point was clear he was pissed off. He didn’t like people touching you in ways that only he could, he didn’t like people getting to close to what was his.
“If you don’t be quiet I swear to fucking god”
Stan’s hand had been placed on your mouth for the last 15 minutes just to keep you silent but when it doesn’t work he’s about to lose his god damn mind. He stops moving his hips, grabbing onto you and pulling out so he can flip you over.
“Ass up.”
“What..?”
“Don’t make me repeat myself. You heard me”
Within an instant you were ass up and face down. His warm hands caressed at your hips, placing kisses to your back before finding his way back into you. The feeling of you around him earned you a satisfied moan, his teeth chewing down onto his bottom lip to help him focus on moving his hips back and forth in a rhythmic pace. The sound of his skin against yours echoed throughout his room, his fingers finding their way to your mouth. He picked up his pace, his moans practically coming out as growls. He couldn’t stop. He couldn’t find any will to stop he needed you to know how much he needed you. How it was him you were with, who you should be with. He wanted to show you how much he can love you. How much he can give you. And fuck was he giving it to you. He grit his teeth to hold back the endless moans he had bottled up, the pleasurable cries he so badly wanted to let out but would wake up his Parents by doing so.
“Tell me you love me~”
Your eyes widened, hands gripping onto the sheets of his bed, his fingers slipped out of your mouth to give your ass a harsh slap.
“Please Baby, tell me, tell me you love me. Tell me you’re mine. You’re mine”
Stan’s pace was quicker then it was before. You tried so hard to speak but all that came out were incoherent words, was nonsense, you were so brain dead, so god damn drained from how much he’d been going. He was becoming desperate. Stan’s hands gripped onto your hips harder, pushing you back onto him each time he slammed back in.
“M’so good, it’s so good, damn good”
His hands slid up your sides, finding himself wrapping his arms around your waist and burying his face into shoulder. His new angle was just enough to make him almost cum on the spot. Stan’s jaw was slack, breathing heavily. He stopped his pace, earning a whine out of you.
“If I .. I just.. if I keep going like this m’gonna cum..”
“But I want you too~.. for me.. please St-Stan”
“Oh my goddd”
Stan whimpered out pathetically at the way your hips rocked back onto him, his teeth sinking into your neck to keep himself quiet whilst your movements were like torture against his already sensitive length. Once he thought he was able to control himself, he pumped into you at his stupid fucking ungodly pace, he found his stomach knotting, his head hanging low as he was now sat back up, hands gripping your wrists to place them behind your back. He was gonna cum, he was so damn close, he wanted to fill you so badly, to have you leaking because of him. To mark you as Stan’s. And Stan’s alone.
“M’mgonna cum, want it all in you, m’gonna fill you up so fuckin good”
His words are mumbles, ones your brain aren’t catching in this moment all you wanted was for him to be deep.. so deep.. you’re thoughts are cut short when he hits that one sensitive spot, that one spot he’s come to be so familiar with. You try desperately to wiggle out of his lock on your hands but he only grips harder growling.
“If you keep moving I swear to fucking god I’ll have you over my god damn knees. Keep still.”
Stan spoke in a ruthless tone, deep. One you only ever hear when he’s pissed off.. jealous even. His grip kept tightening, leaning down to watch your face twist and contort, at the this point you’d think his hips would’ve been sore, red. They were indeed red and sore but he wasn’t stopping until he had you marked, and it wasn’t long before he did.
“Just stay quiet. I’m right there, just.. fucking hell just stay like that, lemme cum in you please let me, let me.. It’s never felt like this before”
He was speaking in broken breaths, whispering to you.. he was close.. he was right there, right at the rattling end of it all. Stan turned your head enough to place his lips onto yours, right in time for his body to give one last deep thrust, his load stringing out for what felt like forever. His grip to keep you in spot was enough to leave markings, soft purple spots forming under his fingertips. He continued to rest on your shoulder, eyes squeezed shut whilst his body twitched every so often. When he pulled out his lips held back wild moans, desperate to feel you again.
“Jesus fucking Christ..”
He paused, his chest rising and falling rapidly.
“are you okay?”
Stan rubbed the small of your back, collapsing back down onto the bed next to you. He watched while you tiredly shuffled closely nodding your head against him.
“Don’t go falling asleep on me just yet, I need to get you cleaned up”
His fingers laced through your hair, lips mumbling against your forehead. He carefully sat up finding a pair of sweats to throw on. Before he made his way to the bathroom across from his room his looked back at you, your dopey smile, half lidded eyes and the work he made of you.
He admired it. Was.. proud of it even. Watching you leak him out.
Maybe making Stan jealous wasn’t so horrible.
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hatsunevitu · 10 months
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i dont talk about creekenny enough so here’s a headcanon i’ve been thinking about !!
you might think about creek being softies to each other, but actually they’re the ones having constant fights and arguments and getting kenny involved in this. and like, at the beginning he actually tried his best to help those two make peace, but at some point he got pretty sick of it so he prefers to just stay out of their silly little fights knowing they can’t possibly stay mad at each other for too long. so now he doesn’t usually intervene (unless the fight is really serious but that happened only once or twice) and mostly he hangs out with cartman until craig and tweek solve their problems. and don’t judge him ‘cause he’s actually really willing to help but most of the time they just don’t need someone else’s help.
it usually goes like this:
kenny: (Hey guys, you wanna have a movie night?)
tweek: I am NOT watching movies with this two-faced heartless prick!
craig: Neither am I. Kenny, could you tell Tweek to go fuck himself?
kenny: (Oh god, not again…)
tweek: Actually – GAH! – I have a better idea. How about we watch movies together, Ken? Just you, me and the romantic night.
craig: He’s not gonna watch your gay-ass musicals.
tweek: Well!! Uh! He’s not gonna watch your stupid documentaries either!
kenny: (Why am I even trying?)
tweek: So what do you wanna do, Kenny? Do you choose spending time with your favourite boyfriend, or, huh, hanging out with that lame asshole.
kenny: (Actually, the “asshole” part sounds kind of entertai–)
craig & tweek, shouting in sync: Kenny!
kenny: (Alright, alright! Actually, guys, I’d rather get drunk with Cartman watching superhero movies until you figure out your issues.)
tweek: That’s – gah! – a backstabbing move, Kenny!
craig: Didn’t think I’d say that, but Tweek is right.
tweek: Thanks!
craig, looking away: …
tweek, ashamed: …Okay, I’m sorry, Craig.
craig: I’m- I’m sorry too, Tweek. I didn’t mean to upset you, honey.
kenny: (See? Told ya I’m the best throuple counsellor on Earth.)
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southparkhcsocs · 15 days
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I know that David is just an older brother with 00000000.1 screen time but…BARKBARKBARKBARKBARKBARK
Also has Eric ever met David? and how did that go…
Okay, I saw this ask a billion years ago and I wanted to draw something for it but never got round to it!!
But basically it didn't go well do Cartman.
I like to imagine my OCs/the reader as the new kid from the games and that's how they all met. (Obviously with some changes with each OC but you know)
So in this instance with Veronica and her family meeting Cartman in particular was.... Bad.... Very bad
But let's focus on David specifically. So, when David and Cartman first met everyone was still playing stick of truth. Cartman knocked on the door to Veronica's house and David answered. Cartman didn't know that Veronica had a brother and was already developing a small crush on her, unbeknownst to him. So when he saw David he was immediately jealous and blurted out "who the fuck are you?"
It all went downhill from here. A chubby little fuck at David's own door asking who he is. No. "Who the fuck are you? Coming to my house in your gay ass costume. What the hell are you meant to be?" Then continuous insults and jabs at Cartman's appearance.
Cartman wanted to ruin this guy. Destroy everything he had and loved. And then Veronica came down the stairs to see David going to fucking town on this boy she's only just met.
"David, chill out."
"Fuck no!" He hissed. "You know this tubby fucking chode."
"Yeah, he's my friend." She told her brother. Cartman's face definitely started to flush. "I'm sorry about David. He's a prick. Brothers, am I right?"
"He's your brother?" Cartman asked.
"yeah..."
The RELIEF he felt. But also the annoyance. He can't hurt her brother. Because that will hurt her. Lame.
Oh, I turned this into a little story. Lol
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wendytestabrat · 3 months
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how cartman movitvated kyle in s20
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something i realized while i was making my s20 kyman compilation was how when kyle found out cartman & heidi were together he completely stopped giving a shit about trying to stop the troll bc he only cared when he thought it was cartman, which i’ve talked about a million times already LOL. but also it wasn’t until cartman smacked some sense into kyle about how much he changed and how pulling his wiener out in the cafeteria to harass the girls is NOT who he is, that kyle finally made an effort to stop the trolling again. that’s when he put the pieces together and figured out it was gerald finally like an episode or two later & did all that shit to try to save the day. i feel like this goes hand in hand with that rant i did abt how kyle NEEDS cartman in his life or else he does crazy selfish shit like blowing up canada LOL. it was sooo clear in s20 that when heidi was with cartman and kyle was all alone bc he didn’t have cartman around him for support whenever he wanted that he basically just turned into a selfish dick and sided with butters’ wieners out group even tho he CLAIMED he was against it and wanted to stop it. what that tells me is he needs cartman in his life bc having cartman as a friend helps remind him who the fuck he is, how the most important thing to kyle is to dO tHe rHiGht tHinG bc kyle wants to side with morality soooo badly. there are A LOT of moments where he loses sight of that goal and does shit that’s extremely hypocritical and selfish, but i feel like overall at heart kyle still wants to be good and help others. so that moment rlly stands out to me bc it shows how cartman is actually VERY encouraging with helping & supporting kyle be the sanctimonious prick he wants to be, even tho cartman acts like he HATES kyle for that in other episodes. but that’s bs bc i feel like cartman secretly looks up to kyle for all those things and views kyle as a good example or role model for how to care abt others and dO tHe rHiGht thiNg since that can be hard for him sometimes as a heartless sociopath LOL. everyone acts like if kyle was with cartman, cartman would just corrupt him and turn him into a big toxic asshole, but that moment rlly shows the exact OPPOSITE. when he DOESN’T have cartman, he stops caring abt everything he stands for and does shit that goes against his beliefs. cartman motivates kyle to stand with the side of good, and i feel like the only reason why kyle changed as a character and took on that whole morality schtick when he used to be a menace was bc of cartman and how motivated he was to stop cartman.
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h-harleybaby · 1 year
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Wrestler Eric Cartman (aged up obvi) Pt. 9
I’VE BEEN PLAYING STICK OF TRUTH ALL DAY
LIKE SINCE 9:51 AM TIL 6:51 PM I DUNNO HOW THE TIMING COULD BE THAT PERFECT???
But yeah it was 7:32 when I started writing this so yeah
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• When the team goes out to eat dinner after an important tournament he’ll push people out the way to get to you. Doesn’t have to tho because those little pricks don’t appreciate you for the most part (this totally isn’t because at my last tournament my team made me feel weird and unappreciated and like I didn’t fit in when everyone argued over who would sit next to me because no one wanted to)
• If the team sleeps at a hotel for the tournament he gets pissed off that the coaches won’t let any boys and girls sleep in the same room. It makes a lot of sense but he wants to sleep with you >:(
• Probably pays your roommate (with the money y’all got from making the team pay for snacks) to switch rooms with him after the coaches do bed checks so he can be with you
• He ignores the fact that there’s a whole other bed in the room and sleeps with you. “That bed isn’t comfortable and yours is, lemme sleep with you >:(“
• Forgot where y’all were in the morning and was very confused 💀
• Was also very mad at you for ruining his beauty sleep because you insisted on waking up at 4:00 to shower. “We go to the lobby for breakfast at 6:00 and leave at 6:30 what’s the point in that?!”
• Definitely tried to keep you in bed but you slid out from his grasp. He was not happy about that, especially because you fell on the floor when you did that
• “Dude why are you out??? Ew you look gross go back to your room.” -a wrestler after you accidentally locked yourself out of the hotel room
• That specific wrestler tried coming out of his room later and yelled at you for the same thing and that you were stupid enough to accidentally lock yourself out (totally didn’t happen to me while wearing pjs)
• Cartman “accidentally” punched the wrestler because as he said, the guy startled him while he was warming up at the tournament. “I thought I was gonna be attacked! What’d you want me to do??? Just get hurt and forfeit all my matches?”
• Anyways back on the going out for dinner thing
• Y’all had to wait outside in the cold Colorado weather for an hour because the restaurant was super busy. It was a bad day to wear your normal shorts, wasn’t it?
• Everyone was getting on each others backs and slapping each other around (chicken fighting???) and you really wanted to but none of the wrestlers wanted to with you. It’s fine, you gotta record this stuff anyways, right?
• Cartman went a step further than everyone and put you on his shoulders :)
• Y’all were so tall and you beat everyone >:)
• For the most part you and him chilled on a bench tho. Probably with your legs on him because you were cold as fuck
• Eric tried making you wear his sweatpants because he was wearing his singlet under it anyways but you kept saying how y’all would probably go inside the restaurant in a few minutes. 30 minutes later, how’s that going for you?
• Overall, y’all had a fun time despite your team being pricks and enjoyed your time together without parents <3333
Literally almost everything was based off my last tournament
They don’t treat me nicely but I won’t say anything 🥲
Pt. 5 , Pt. 6 , Pt. 7 , Pt. 8
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broflovski-brah · 9 days
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the people who are anti south park are so funny to me because they’ll claim south park is’ too vulgar and offensive’ but then it turns out they’re family guy fans. like i’m sorry but family guy isn’t funny. 99.9% of the time the racist jokes-which mind you, in family guy, are a tad more on the nose offensive wise-literally don’t work to move the plot along. it’s just there fir which value. like stevie will be worried about totaling brian’s car and he’s like ‘oh they’ll ship me to siberia’ and then there’s some racist haha funny joke that’s there fir shock value and then has literally nothing to do with the plot. the racist/offensive family guy jokes don’t even serve a purpose. they’re literally just there as a ‘wow look at how edgy we are’
and yet those same people complain that south park is bad. like half the time cartman being a racist prick moves the plot along. having kyle s be in the entity moved the plot along and showcased jewish stereotypes. having the disabled kids do the impossible usually has something to do with the plot.
seriously though. i can’t take the people who shit on south park seriously when they’re family guy fans.
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sprinklez-sparklez · 9 months
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❤️ Kyman Week | Day 1 💚
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💖 First Sight 💖
Gonna spend the first week of July by drawing one of my favorite guilty pleasure pairings! Wanted to draw something wholesome and cheesy. Love at first sight am I right?
I even wrote a really short one shot to go along with the drawing! <D
(Click or tap for better quality)
As Kyle grabbed Cartman tightly by the arm, he simply stood there with his eyes moving up to look at Cartman’s face. Oddly enough, he started to observe the fat kid’s face. How his hair showed slightly out of his hat, his face that appeared so round and soft to touch, he even noticed the little freckles on Cartman’s face that were barely noticeable to others… but not to him.
As he stepped even closer, he stared into his beautiful brown eyes. As he stared at them he saw a lost and beautiful soul that, despite all his faults, needs help and guidance.
Kyle needs to give him that, even if Cartman is a massive stubborn prick.
As Kyle took one step closer, the rest of the world seemed to vanish. A light pink glow started to grow on Kyle’s face. He wanted to hold Eric’s face so badly, tell him that everything is going to be okay and be there for him. But for now, all he can do is just…stare.
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princessconsuela120 · 3 months
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🍂 hii! I’d love a fall matchup if that’s ok! My preferred fandom is South Park :3.
A little about me is basically: I’m a awkward person and anxious a lot, since I have a lot of anxiety and stuff like that. I’m very quiet, to the point I don’t speak to people almost at all unless it’s family or friends. I’m artistic, loving to draw, not very book smart and kinda dense but I have my moments, very sensitive and have a hard time communicating. I’m a cancer! Looks wise I have a lot of curly hair that’s fluffy, and a bit on the shorter side. Thank you and I hope this isn’t too much, I don’t do this sorta thing a lot, I hope you have a good day/night <3🍂
PRINCESSCONSUELA’S FALLFEST EVENT🍂🧣🎃🍃
🍂 Fall Matchup: Send in a few details about yourself, looks wise, personality wise, zodiac sign, hobbies and so on, and if you want add a preferred fandom as well. I will match you up with someone from my fic list and write a short Drabble to go with it!
— 🍂
I def feel like butters would be drawn to you. I think he would find your quietness adorable and you would mesh very well. He’d be the kind of guy to be there when you’re emotional (I’m a cancer so I get it😭). I hope you enjoy!
— 🍂
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“Stay in place would you?” You asked, the tip of your tongue sticking out as you focused on the painting. Butters was holding a blanket painting out in-front of you that was almost completed. This was a common occurrence, butters loved whenever you would paint.
“sorry, sorry.”
“almost finished.”
“I’m just so excited!” Butters cheered, practically jumping up and down.
“anddd there! Done!”
“Holy Hamburgers! It does look like Cartman!” Butters pulled away to reveal a new painting, one that looked oddly like Cartman.
“right!”
“wow, you must be the most talented person alive!” He cheered, making you flip your hair teasingly.
“well, I wouldn’t go that far.” You joked, but he smiled at you instead.
“I would.”
“well thank you butters.” You said kindly, earning a kiss on your cheek from the blonde boy.
“and you’re rather pretty too.”
You couldn’t help the few tears that pricked at your eyes. You had immense love for Butters, and you just felt so lucky to have found him. He was good to you, always, and never stopped being a sweetheart.
“Oh hamburgers, I’m sorry y/n, I-I didn’t mean to make you cry.” He said softly, coming to give you a hug as you chuckled.
“no Butters, it’s okay. I’m just, I’m so happy.”
“oh well, gee you didn’t have to cry over it.”
“it’s a good thing, I promise.”
“pinky promise?” Butters asked, holding his pinky out with a smile.
“pinky promise.” You said, locking your finger with his before pulling him into a kiss.
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inactivebooo · 10 months
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𝑮𝒆𝒏 𝑫𝒂𝒕𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝑯𝑪𝒔 | 𝑩𝒖.𝑺
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Gn!Reader
Butters is a cutie lets be honest.
Man will give you the worlddd.
Uses his allowance from the icecream store (yes he still works there.. it’s good pay what can I say) to get you little trinkets that remind him of you.
Hello kitty island adventure dates.
Let’s assume he’s still keeping up with professor chaos- you’re his sidekick.
I feel like you two paint each others nails??
You’ve beat cartman up a handful of times for being a prick to butters.
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sansxfuckyou · 5 months
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Misconceptions
Summary: Kyle is only distantly aware he's chosen the worst time to confess
Warnings: swearing, mentions of various deaths, check Ao3 port for full tags
Authors Note: I wrote this to get myself through some idea drought, but Kenny being an oblivious and jealous prick is honestly fun to write, it may happen again. this is basically me shoving another scene into the manbearpig episode by the way, so keep that in mind while reading. hope ya'll enjoy!
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Kenny's breathing starts to stutter with the cold, he's too far into sleep to wake up and shuffle around a bit too try and get warm. Kyle can hear it, it's shockingly hard to fall asleep on the cold ground while trapped in a cave system. He feels perfectly fine heat wise, passed out next to Stan and using his jacket as a blanket.
Kyle doesn't know what he's supposed to do. On one hand, he lets Kenny freeze to death or go terribly ill. On the other hand, he wakes up Kenny and hopes that the blonde doesn't get pissed off.
He opts for waking up Kenny.
His entire body feels clunky when he stretches, hands over his head and interlaced fingers pushing out. He tugs on his jacket lazily as he stumbles over to where Kenny's passed out on the ground. Kyle crouches down next too him and places a hand on the blondes face. His skin is flush with the bite of the cold, and he feels 'warm' but he isn't.
"Hey, dude," Kyle begins with as he shakes Kenny's shoulders gently, it barely rouses the blonde. All he gets is a small groan of dissatisfaction and the slightest shift in facial expression.
Kyle brings his fingers to loosen Kenny's parka hood but stops himself, he needs the heat to be in, not out. Instead he slides his fingers along Kenny's neck, ice cold fingers sure to jolt him awake. It does garner a reaction, not much.
Kyle talks again, "Wake up man, you're gonna freeze to death."
Kenny blinks open his eyes and glares at Kyle, "I've died worse- heard of worse ways," He quickly corrects himself.
"I know," Kyle said softly, so lightly, making sure Kenny didn't hear. It was his secret, and even though Kyle remembers a good deal of the deaths, he acts like he doesn't. He's not sure if he's lying for Kenny's sake or for his own.
"I'm fine freezing to death," Kenny said as he closed his eyes and rolled onto his side, facing away, "Go back to your boyfriend."
Kyle's face flares up at the accusation, "He's not my boyfriend," He takes Kenny's arm and rolls him back over, "I don't even like him."
Kenny rolled his eyes, "Sure you don't, you just happen to always be with him, always listen to him, always give him attention, always be on your fucking mind- of course he's your boyfriend!" The restraint he enforces to not shout makes him shake, he should've gotten this out in the open a long time ago. But no, he had too wait until the four of them were trapped in the mines before it could come out, "Leave me to die, that's what you guys always do."
"I don't," Kyle said.
Kenny scoffed, "Sure."
"Remember when you were dying of cancer, or whatever, your body was giving out on you?" Kyle asked.
Kenny nodded, "Everyone remembers that."
"Or what about all those other times? Electrocuted, trampled, burned, drowned, mutilated- I remember some of those," Kyle said, "I just, didn't want to freak you out by bringing it up."
"Big whoop," Kenny spat venomously, "You remember most of my terrible fates, so does Cartman. I don't see how that relates to you not being Stan's shitty boyfriend," He hopes that the jealously of his misguided anger is heavily covered.
"Stan doesn't remember half as many, Craig doesn't remember any, and Tweek doesn't remember any. Just me, and Cartman," Kyle said, going off on a loosely built tangent. He was grasping for straws, but he needed an exit into the more important topic of debate, "Because we care about you more than anyone else in all of South Park."
Kenny gestured vaguely for Kyle to go on, a challenge of sorts, maybe it was a plea.
"He cares about you because you indulge in his terrible ideas and hang out with him outside of the group. You're his best friend, we all are, but you more than the rest of us," Kyle explained, gesturing to Cartman as he spoke, "And I remember because," He pauses, words catching in his throat, "I, I remember."
"Spit it out," Kenny snarled, glaring just a bit. It was a facade really, he'd never speak maliciously to Kyle and mean it.
"And I remember all of you deaths because I fucking, I am in love, with you," Kyle managed to choke out, barely at that. He feels like the knots in his chest are tightening, but the burdens on his shoulders have finally been lifted. It's a rather conflicting feeling, to have the brunt of it all out in the open despite knowing it won't be reciprocated.
Kenny is pleased with the fact he can say the reason his face is red is because of the cold. He feels his heart rate pick up, he's pretty sure it's pulsing with irregularities- ha, that's kind of funny, Kyle made his heart skip a beat. Literally at that, the metaphor always came in handy for his journals. He bangs his fist on his chest, right where his heart is, rattling up his rib cage. He glances up to Kyle, "Really man?"
Kyle can't help the exasperation saturated so thickly on his voice it's dripping as he snaps back a sharp, "Yes, really! Of course I do!"
He also can't help the squeak that's pushed out of him when arms wind around his torso and squeeze. Kenny's head is resting on his shoulder, nestled up against the crook of his neck. Kyle doesn't know what he's supposed to do, especially with the way Kenny is shaking, tears hitting his jacket and his skin. It takes a bit too long for him to realize that this is a way of saying 'I love you too' but the second he does he's yanking Kenny into himself just as tight. He knocks the side of his head against Kenny's gently as he hauls the blonde almost onto his lap.
"Fuck man," There's a small sniffle as Kenny tries to lift his head, he can't get more than a couple inches of distance between him and Kyle and it feels nice. He dares to say it feels right, resting half on Kyle's thighs with arms wrapped around him so tightly he almost fears dislocating a rib. He takes a shaky inhale, "I just, did you have to wait until now to say it?"
Kyle knocked his forehead against Kenny's, very brief moment of contact greets them, when he pulls back he's almost shocked that Kenny's hands are at his waist. Almost. He rests his head on Kenny's shoulder, "I thought you were into the chicks."
"I take whatever comes my way," Kenny said, he spoke as though it were humorous, "Of course, I am prone to getting attached and waiting for something better to come around."
Kyle listens, giving a small hum to continue.
"But I got really lucky tonight, aside from the fact we're trapped in a cave system. Not only am I sitting on the lap of someone absolutely magnificent, smart, adorable, and dare I say it, hot. That someone also happens to be the long time target of my affection," Kenny rambled. The words flowed like wine, and he's entirely trying to flirt despite the situation. He brings a hand up to run through Kyle's mess of curls, "Of course, lower class courtship methods usually aren't seen as such by the middle class."
Kyle gives a soft sigh, "Cut me some slack, I just finished coming to terms with this shit," He lifts his head up to find that charming gap tooth grin, definitely one of his favorite things about Kenny. He's had a hard time choosing favorite things about Kenny lately, he adds it to the list.
"Gladly," Kenny answered with, briefly pressing a kiss to Kyle's cheek. He glanced over the redhead's shoulder, "Let's sleep over there."
"Beside Stan?" Kyle asked, he got a nod in response.
"I don't want him getting hypothermia," Kenny said, "Not a fun way to die."
Kyle gives a hum before standing up, awkwardly hoisting Kenny along with him. He knows that the shorter is grinning for the brief walk over to where Stan lays. Kyle sheds his jacket to lay down and Kenny joins him, pressing his back flush against Kyle's torso.
Kenny tilts his head back a bit, "Love you," He's saying it until the novelty wears off at this rate.
Kyle hums in response, "Go to sleep."
"Okay," Kenny said, voice a bit more hushed as he closed his eyes and tried to relax.
It's a lot easier to fall asleep when someone else is there with you. The rhythmic clamber of his heartbeat is welcome to echo in Kenny's ears as he drifts off to sleep comfortably. Even with the cold nipping at his feet he finds it rather soothing to just fall asleep. He's out cold before Stan actually rouses from his slumber, flipping over a bit.
"Go back to sleep," Kyle croaked out softly.
Stan pushed himself onto his elbows and glanced over to find Kenny curled up against Kyle, "You told him?"
Kyle nodded.
"He said yes?" Stan asked.
Kyle nodded, "Here's hoping we make it out of here alive to go on a date."
"In the afterlife I'll third wheel for you, even if we make it out I'll be sitting there being a nuisance," Stan said as he dropped back down. His pressed his back against Kyle before throwing his jacket atop the both of them.
"Thanks," Kyle said quietly, "You're fucking awesome man."
Stan yawns a bit, "No problem bro, that's what friends are for."
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skribz202 · 3 months
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Hey guys, take this Ike one shot I wrote on Ao3:
AU- Lost Hope
TW- Vivid Imagery (I think)
That smell. That horrendous smell. It's all that fills my mind. I sit bolt upright and dart my eyes around my room. A thick fog of death clouds my ceiling while the rest of my belongings are painted in terrifying reds and oranges.
"Mom?" I call out bewildered. I sat there for a moment, taking in all of the chaos going on around me. Flames were engulfing my surroundings, I could hear faint screams coming from elsewhere, but all I could think about was how much I missed Kyle. If this were to happen when he was here, he would've got everyone outside in time because he was such a light sleeper. Then reality sunk in, and I remembered that Kyle wasn't here. It was just me. My fight or flight senses kicked in and I leapt out of bed. I made my way to the door that lead to the hall-way to save my parents, but there was a catch. The door was jammed. Either some debris blocked it's way, or I had locked it earlier when coming into my room. Well, whatever it was, I didn't care. The door handle had started to burn my hand, and I knew I wasn't going to stick around for long. I took a quick look to find a way to get out of my room when I saw that I'd left my window open. I did a quick analysis in my head. I'm on the second floor of my house. My window is not that high from the ground, but not to low either. I could probably survive the jump if I did it carefully. There's no time for that, however, so without a second thought, I flew out of the open passage and gravity pulled me down to land on the soft, crunchy snow beneath me. The air came out of my lungs, which lead to me attempting to take in more, but it wasn't long after that until I took off running. Running past Cartman's old house, past Stan's old house, past that weird blonde kid's old house, until I stopped and looked back at my own. It was barely recognizable as a house anymore. In fact, it looked like the incinerator scene from Toy Story 3 had been ripped out of the movie and placed into real life. As I was looking at this gigantic fire, a thought suddenly hit my mind. Nothing could have survived that. My parents were probably gone by now, and there was nothing I could do about it. I felt tears prick my eyes before I took off running again. Where could I even go from here? Karen's family were already struggling, Tricia's family weren't to keen on taking new members, and Firkle, well, there was no chance. So who could I go to? Then it hit me.
"STAN!!!!!!!" I cried out. At this point I was having a full-on meltdown while sprinting. There was no way I was ever going to see my parents again, so now I had lost everyone. No more Kyle, no more mom, no more dad, hell, I didn't even know where my cousin was. For Gods-sake, even my own birth parents didn't want me. As I neared closer to Stan's new house, one thing kept replaying in my mind. A thought that was so simple, yet I had no way to answer it.
What even caused the fire in the first place?
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southparkartsystuff · 17 days
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Don’t Judge a Book by its Cover
One Shot
Plot Summary: You’re a fourth grader who lives in South Park and hears that one of your classmates is a vicious bully who wants to kill people, what will happen next? This fanfic includes Kyle Broflovski and Reader’s friendship(NOT a ship).
TW: Antisemitism and minor cursing.
Today is Saturday, and after eating breakfast and changing clothes, you were planning to stay at home and draw in your sketchbook for the entire morning until your parents forced you to go outside and play with the other kids.
As you continued to walk around the streets, you were confused and a little scared since you kept hearing your parents tell you that "strangers are dangerous" but tried to not let this bother you.
All of sudden you're stopped by a big boned kid called Eric Cartman and his side man Butters Stotch, you immediately recognize them because they study in your class.
"Hey Y/N, how is it going?" Cartman asks.
"Sorry, but I gotta go!" You tried to leave but Cartman stops you again, holding your arms tightly to the point you felt pain.
"I want to warn you about Kahl." Cartman then takes his hands off your arms.
"Who?" You asked.
"Eric is talking about Kyle Broflovski, he is the most arrogant and selfish douchebag in the class." Butters replied in a creepily cheerful manner.
You finally remembered but the very few memories you have of Kyle are him fighting Cartman and that's pretty much it.
"What do you mean?" You asked in an confused tone.
"Well, Kahl is Jewish and the Jews are evil, greedy, selfish little pricks who want to take over the World." Cartman angrily replied, making you kinda scared as you never imagined that Kyle could be that bad of a person despite his notoriously bad temper or that Jewish people were indeed "evil".
"Is he really planning to take over the World?" You fearfully asked.
"Yeah! Kahl is indeed a dirty Jew rat who can actually kill people with his cunning, evil ways!" Cartman replied by taking his phone and showing you obviously photoshopped pictures of Kyle killing babies and animals. "Haven't you seen how angry and cruel he is? Don't trust him, ever!" He then showed up another photoshopped picture of Kyle laughing hysterically as he burn someone's house for fun but you ended up believing anyways because it seemed "real".
"Well, I guess we did good by warning them about that nasty Jew boy!" Butters says cheerfully. "See you later, Y/N".
After Cartman and Butters left, their warnings made you start sweating and you panicked, fearing that Kyle might kill you or try to take over the World, so you run away to the kids park so that nobody can see you.
You run so fast to the point that when you arrived in the park you started to get really tired but when you were going to sit in the seat, you see a green hatted kid that was already sitted there.
Oh no, you immediately recognized that it was him!
Your heart started pumping up so fast that you were almost going to have a heart attack but then you started hearing crying noises.
"Wait, is he…crying?" You whispers as you get confused as hell, whenever you saw Kyle, he seemed always angry and aggressive.
So, to put it shortly, Kyle was for you a tough guy with anger issues and nothing more, but the fact that Cartman and Butters decided to warn you about his "true colors" today, only made your perception of him worse in your eyes.
However, you didn't want to get involved in this whole mess so you tried to leave but Kyle overheard your steps, making you even more scared than before.
"Hey, who is here?" He asked in a sad but stern tone, you tried to run away but Kyle turned his back and looked at you, he wiped his tears away and walked next to you, you WANTED to run but you were too scared and tired to do that.
"Please, don't kill me!" You start shrinking in fear and after hearing this, Kyle's eyes become full of tears again but he doesn't actually cry and changes his expression to anger.
"No, I'm not going to fucking kill you!"
He raises his tone a little but then ultimately softens. "I'm not a monster.."
"But Eric Cartman told me that you were a greedy Jew that's planning to kill people and take over the world." You immediately closed your mouth with your own hands after realizing that it was a bad idea as you were afraid of what Kyle would do with you.
"Of course it was that fat piece of shit!" Kyle gets really pissed. "He's ALWAYS picking on me for being Jewish and today he was able to turn EVERYONE against me by making stupidly retarded photoshop edits and sharing these pictures with my friends online! I'm not a bully! I don't want to kill animals and I would never harm babies, heck, I have a baby brother that I love dearly and it hurts to see people thinking that I am an evil, greedy murderer just because l'm Jewish!"
"I-I didn't know he was picking on you…" You tried to explain yourself.
"It's okay! It's just that Cartman is always othering me because of my faith, making everyone treat me like an outcast and I don't know what to do anymore." Kyle starts crying. "It’s so hard to be the only Jewish kid at times."
You were shocked! You never seen Kyle showcasing a vulnerable side before and this STILL confused the hell out of you but at the same time, you wanted to make sure he feels better.
"Hey, I'm sorry you have to go through all of this shit." You then hugged him. "There’s nothing wrong with you being Jewish and Cartman is a bigoted moron."
"Thanks!" Kyle hugs you back. "It's not your fault!" He smiles but then he looks at your forehead and sees that there's bruises on it.
"What happened to your forehead?" Kyle gets worried about you, making you a little weirded out.
"I accidentally bumped hard into the wall today but it's nothing." You tried to walk away from the conversation but it only made Kyle more worried.
"Oh my God, it looks awful!" Kyle gets closer to you. "Does it hurt?" He then touches your forehead, making you softly screams of pain.
"Dude, I'm fine!" You get annoyed with Kyle's overly concerned ways but you couldn't help but find it sweet.
"No, you're not fine! Your forehead is hurting and still hasn't healed yet." Kyle then grabs your hand. "I'll take care of you." He then walks you out of the kids park and by then, you start feeling more comfortable around Kyle and finally realizes how much of a good kid he actually is and that you shouldn't judge a book by its cover.
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Something I find very interesting about Helen Keller! The Musical is how much Cartman insists that Timmy is the only kid who knows the part of Helen Keller. However,the part of Helen Keller requires no lines except maybe water and the end [I assume]. It's probably not a difficult role to learn outside of blocking. Could Cartman have been talking about the blocking?? I honestly don't think so. I think the implications are that Timmy is the only kid who is handicapped and has limited speech, I honestly think Cartman's ideal version of this play would have a handicapped person playing a handicapped character.
Why? I mean just think about it from Cartman's perspective. Wouldn't it be so much easier to have a person who has handicapped experience, than an abled body person learn how to seem handicapped? The latter option is too much work and Cartman is lazy, he's going to work smarter not harder.
And when the fancy theatre man takes the role of Helen Keller, Cartman is frustrated. He's constantly speaking and breaking character. Timmy was waaayy easier to direct than this pretentious prick. Sure, he has theatrical skill, but he does not have a handicapped experience so of course the perfectionist in Cartman hates this.
I don't think it was intentional, Cartman had selfish motives to out-do the kindergarten play, but I do think it's amusing how Cartman was accidentally progressive.
I could talk about the topic how disabled characters are cast in Hollywood but that's a can of worms I don't want to get into.
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ccartman · 1 year
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For no good reason Scott Tenorman grabs Cartman camera and smashes it on the ground, stepping on it. it is broken. No more camera.
"NO!" He tries to grab it back, but it's too late. Broken pieces are everywhere and Eric falls to his knees, staring at his broken equipment. Those buried emotions of when all his electronics got broken, came to surface, and he glares up at Scott with tears pricking his eyes.
"Why--?!"
@squeallittlepiggy
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wendytestabrat · 6 months
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kyle’s most toxic/chaotic episodes:
•ike’s wee wee - for harassing ike once he found out he was adopted and saying he’s not his real brother and then sending him on a train to nebraska
•cow days - for him being a spoiled materialistic brat and a jerk to cartman all for some terrance & phillip dolls; HE FUCKING THREATENS CARTMAN INTO RIDING A BULL AND THEN WHEN CARTMAN GETS HURT AND HAS TO GO TO THE HOSPITAL HE STILL MAKES CARTMAN GO BACK ON THE BULL
•douche & turd - for bullying and pressuring stan to vote for a giant douche, sending puff daddy after him, LITERALLY SPITTING ON HIM, and using kenny for his own benefit all so he could beat cartman. also the fact that he wanted a giant douche as the mascot was just immature af LOL
•cartman’s incredible gift - for jumping off a fucking roof because he couldn’t stand to see people taking cartman seriously as a psychic
•mr. garrison’s fancy new vagina - for his blatant racism (and internalized anti-semitism) assuming he would only be good at basketball if he was tall & black - basically he did blackface here LOL
•two days before the day after tomorrow - for hiding the jew gold
•ginger kids - for BREAKING AND ENTERING into cartman’s room to turn him into a ginger which caused cartman to go on an extermination against every non-ginger
•le petit tourette - for rounding up 47388392 pedophiles to shoot themselves on dateline because he was mad abt cartman pretending to have tourettes (even tho he was just jealous of cartman’s brilliant idea LOL)
•imaginationland - for being so fucking arrogant and sure that leprechauns aren’t real that he signed a legally binding contract to suck cartman’s balls (which wasn’t very smart) and then couldn’t honor his commitment when he was wrong. i’m sorry but like IDGAF what a bet is about you just don’t agree to suck someone’s balls idc how sure u are that you’re gonna win LOL.
•tonsil trouble - for making fun of cartman for having aids and then gets MAD at cartman for making aids jokes later on to stay positive smh
•britney’s new look - for coming up with the idea to get a paparazzi photo of britney for $$ - it was his fault that britney shot herself
•fatbeard - for purposely trying to get cartman sent off to somalia to die and inadvertently making his brother go there too
•you have 0 friends - for being an annoying social media prick and not leaving stan alone about facebook and doing dumbass shit to get more FB friends WHO GIVES A SHIT people who care too much abt their social media followers are losers
•it’s a jersey thing - yeah do i even need to explain this one?
•crack baby athletic association - for exploiting crack babies for money and acting selfish & greedy like cartman in the process
•you’re getting old/ass burgers - FOR SELLING OUT STAN AT HIS WORST AND BEING A BACKSTABBING ASSHOLE
•a history channel thanksgiving - for throwing a hissy fit over cartman’s idea to use the history channel for their thanksgiving report and then getting all pouty later that he was wrong about aliens or whatever the fuck
•ginger cow - i don’t need to explain this one
•go fund yourself - for being all extra and causing drama by making his own startup company bc he was jealous of cartman for coming up with the name ‘washington redskins’
•stunning and brave - for encouraging cartman to stand up to PC principal and getting him sent to the hospital (AND BTW KYLE DIDN’T WANNA DO SHIT ABT PC PRINCIPAL UNTIL IT PERSONALLY AFFECTED HIM AND HE GOT IN TROUBLE FOR THE COMMENT HE MADE ABOUT CAITLYN JENNER)
•skank hunt - for accusing cartman of being the troll and getting everyone all riled up to break his shit
•wieners out - for him being salty when he found out cartman moved on with heidi, you know after he deadass broke all of cartman’s shit
•fort collins - for him threatening to expose cartman’s INTERNET HISTORY to heidi
•doubling down - for stealing heidi from cartman
•super hard PCness - for blowing up canada bc he was still pissed off about cartman & heidi LOL
•tegridy farms - for enabling cartman to sell vapes to kindergarteners (including his brother) despite his original stance of being against it, deadass almost giving up his entire birthday money for cartman, and then letting cartman beat up the drug dealer & helping him break into a vape shop 🙄
•south parq vaccination special - for trying to steal the vaccines for himself - yet bitching at stan & cartman that they were being selfish JFC
•south park post covid and the return of covid - for getting mad at cartman for being a rabbi and having a happy family and accusing him of stupid bullshit and cussing in front of his wife & kids (bringing up shit from 40 years ago) and then making cartman sacrifice his entire family to help him
•the streaming wars part 1 - for giving up all the money they earned on the streaming services to let cartman get tits LOL
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