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syms-things-5 · 2 years

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Case Histories - Chapter Eleven

An Andy Barber AU fic (based on BBC’s ‘The Split’)

Previous Chapter Here / Masterlist Here

Synopsis: A talented small-town family lawyer, Grace Atherton, gets the opportunity of a lifetime when she is offered a job at prestigious Boston law firm, Rothman and Hale. She decides to give up the relative comfort and ease of her current working situation in favour of following a dream she’s had since she was a young law grad, to the detriment of her family life and marriage. She soon comes into contact with old mental and one-time flame, Andy Barber. As gifted as he is handsome, it becomes clear he’s been keeping an eye on her burgeoning career from afar. Just how much will this decision cost her?

Series Warnings: Strong language, cheating

CHAPTER ELEVEN

For some unknown reason, right around the beginning of Summer, people liked to separate from their spouses.

It may only be a temporary separation but it was almost like there was an internal clock slowly ticking away in the heart of the nation’s middle classes. About half-way through the year and with the heightened addition of the hot summer sun possibly adding to feelings of discomfort and pressure, a chain reaction sets off that provokes a crisis of conscience in couples everywhere. Literally, everywhere.

It was 50-50 as to whether the separations were triggered by more husbands than wives (although Grace had her theory that it skewed more towards the former thanks to mid-life crises exacerbated by the stereotypical choices of top-down sports cars and the allure of a good, old-fashioned golf course) but nevertheless, it was a very real, very tragic, very expensive phenomenon. Law Firms up and down the country would prepare themselves for it. They would hire more staff (it was indeed true that May-into-June was an ideal time for a job switch if you were in the legal profession) and poaching caused panic all over the place.

If Grace had her time at university all over again, she would have focused on this topic for her final thesis. She could have made a fortune on the public speaking circuit, written a New York Times best-selling book-cum-self-help-Bible, and retired with millions in the bank at the grand old age of 32. She would have gone on Oprah. She would have been New England’s answer to Brené Brown.

“God, I love the smell of divorce in the morning,” sighed Jack, comfortable, happy, hands stuffed firmly into his pockets as he surveyed the locked meeting rooms that surrounded him.

“Well, aren’t you the old romantic.” smirked Grace. She followed his eyeline and could see figures busily moving around behind the frosted glass that helped privatise rooms from the rest of the public.

“You know, this may surprise you but I have never been one for marriage myself.” He started.

Grace couldn’t work out if he was being sarcastic or not. Of course Jack didn’t “do” marriage. In her mind, she filtered back through some articles she had read about him before she joined the company and she was sure she had read the words “most eligible bachelor” on more than one occasion.

“I simply do not understand tethering yourself to one person for the rest of your life. It speaks of a fear of dying alone if you ask me and quite frankly, that thought has never bothered me. You come into this world alone, you exit alone.”

Grace paused as she tried to figure out a suitable, witty response, but she was coming up short.

“Maybe one day you can explain it all to me.” He turned to face her, bringing her back into the conversation with him.

“Sure thing.” Grace nodded, half-smiling a smile that didn’t quite reach her eyes. How the hell was she going to do that? She didn’t completely understand it herself.

“Now here is a man who agrees with me, right Andrew?” Jack called over as Andy strode towards them with purpose.

“Agree with what?” he asked, puzzled by the two of them staring back at him, expectantly.

“That marriage is a complete waste of time? Isn’t that what you said once?”

“Um…” He glanced between Jack and Grace. “Well, not entirely. Some people manage to make it work. It just requires a certain skill set and the right person.”

Jack furrowed his brow in bewilderment, suddenly not recognising the man stood in front of him.

“You’re going soft in your old age, Andy.” Jack said, jokingly. “I hope you manage to remain as stoic and cold-hearted for the next few weeks at least while we bash these agreements out. There’s seven on your desk from this morning alone so I’d get cracking with the team and see where you land. Keep an eye open for Mark Shallcross, too. He’s on the war path and doesn’t want to budge on his offer of alimony so that might give us a few hours in court.”

“Jesus, Jack, care to tone down the cynicism for a minute?”

“I am not cynical in the slightest. I’m perfectly normal. It’s everyone else who is the problem. You can spin it however you like but marriage is simply not worth the hassle. Imagine being married and being miserable for large chunks of your life. Or worse still, meeting someone that is better for you. Then what do you do? You end up paying us hundreds of thousands of dollars to save the rest of your bacon. So, tell me, what would be normal in this scenario?”

Jack walked off back to his office so the two of them knew it was a rhetorical question. Grace was slowly learning about Jack’s foibles but they often came at inopportune times so she didn’t always realise they were happening until long afterwards.

Grace and Andy looked at each other, perplexed. She shrugged at him and he chuckled, and the pair of them walked towards the front desk to see what else and who else was awaiting them both.

“Is it really going to be as busy as they say? I mean, I know it’s a ‘thing’ at this time of the year and everything, but still.” She chanced the question at him. The look in his eyes gave her all the answers she needed. “Shit.”

“Shit….”

“Right? It’s madness and I don’t know if it’s just me or-”

“-No, I mean shit.” He interrupted her. “Christine.”

Grace quickly turned to look up at him before practically performing a 180 and seeing Andy’s ex-wife vacate the elevator.

Christine spotted him almost straight away despite being on the other side of the expansive foyer. Andy would stand out in most settings but, still, it was like Christine was magnetised by him.

“Hi Andy.” She approached them both cautiously but with a soft, familiar smile, pushing the strap of her blue handbag further up and onto her shoulder.

Grace wasn’t 100% sure if Christine had registered her standing beside them as she eventually stopped just a couple of feet from Andy. Andy didn’t say anything at first and it was at that point Grace realised she was the dreaded elephant in the room in this scenario. She hated that feeling.

“I’ll…” Grace did what she did best and tilted her head in the direction of her office before slipping away from the pair of them as subtly as possible.

She glanced back at them both just before they disappeared completely from her view as she entered her office. It didn’t look like he had moved a muscle from where he had been stood when she had been nearby. He was likely surprised and concerned in equal measure by her visit but whatever he had been feeling, he didn’t seem to be showing it in his body language. He always had a knack of hiding his true emotions and it had irritated the hell out of Grace on more than one occasion.

Nobody moved or even spoke in what felt like an age it seemed. Christine tucked her elegantly straightened, long, white-blonde hair behind her ear, keeping a hand gripped onto the strap of her handbag like it was a comfort blanket of some sort.

Grace wondered what had brought her here. Maybe a case? Maybe some distant family news she thought he would be interested in or needed to know about for some reason? Maybe seeing him again for the first time in a long time all those weeks ago brought back some fond memories she wanted to explore again. Grace supposed she could sympathise with that mentality.

When Grace spied her again sitting quietly in the lounge an hour or so later, she wasn’t altogether surprised although it was odd to find her sat alone. Grace tucked her hair behind her ear and cleared her throat so as to alert Christine that someone else was in the vicinity. Christine looked up from the article she had been reading at the table and they exchanged polite smiles before she returned her attention to the paper in front of her. Grace didn’t think she had recognised her so she set about making a cup of tea, assuming that would be the end of that.

“I take it he’s told you about me?”

Grace turned around, unsure of whether she had just heard what she thought she did.

“Um…”

“I’m the ex-wife? It seems like you two work closely together quite a bit so I just figured I’ve come up in conversation once or twice.” Christine asked, interested to know what Grace may or may not know about her history with Andy.

“Oh, not really, no.” Grace gave as non-committal an answer as she could but fully expected Christine not to believe her.

Christine sighed. “I suppose that shouldn’t surprise me either, actually. Probably doesn’t want to rake up past memories. I think the last memory he probably has of me is me screaming across a table at him in a restaurant in Paris.”

“Well, we’ve all done that.” joked Grace.

Christine chuckled appreciatively. Her shoulders slumped a little so they appeared less…tense? Was that how she was feeling? She looked down at the newspaper on the table but Grace could tell she wasn’t able to focus on the words.

“It’s Grace, right?” she asked after another quiet moment passed by.

“Yeh, it is. We met at the de la Salle hearing.” Grace was sure Christine could tell she was taken aback by hearing her name coming out of her mouth.

“I remember you. Sophie was very grateful for…everything you said to her. It really helped her a lot.” She smiled at her. “I take it you have children?”

“Two, a boy and a girl.”

“Yeh, I thought you sounded maternal. You have a warm energy about you.” She smiled again. “You don’t often find that with lawyers.”

Grace wasn’t sure what to say to that. Over the years she had become well aware that her methods were sometimes seen as unconventional; unconventional being another word for ‘kind’. Whatever it was, Christine was clearly astute until Grace remembered she had been married to Andy for a certain amount of time and she had no doubt gathered first hand that some lawyers were colder than others. Grace didn’t have sympathy for Christine listed on her bingo card for that day.

“Do you know...?” Christine started before something suddenly caused her to think twice. “Actually, never mind.”

“No, go on.” Grace encouraged, turning to face her fully as she dipped the teabag in and out of her mug. It was strong enough already but she didn’t know what else to do with her hands.

Christine sighed and considered speaking again before rolling her eyes at herself. “This is going to sound like High School but do you know if he is seeing someone?”

Grace hoped her facial expression didn’t give her away. “What?”

“Y’see?! It’s fuckin’ High School all over again! Christ, I must sound so pathetic right now.”

“No, you don’t sound like that at all! Sorry, I just wasn’t sure what to… I mean, I don’t know, really. I’m probably not the best person to ask.” Grace fumbled her way through a reply. “Do you think he’s seeing someone?”

Christine stared at the empty seat in front of her for a moment as she tried to organise her thoughts. It was clear she had some views on that question but wasn’t sure what to say to the almost-complete stranger standing near her who was listening to her speak about things she likely hadn’t even vocalised to a life-long best friend before. Or someone she knew even just one degree better than Grace.

“It was just something he said. Before. I wasn’t sure how to read it, that’s all.” She dismissed it and turned the page as though she was indicating to Grace that their conversation was over, but a thread had clearly been pulled.

“Maybe that’s something you need to speak to him about?” Grace wasn’t sure how to vacate the room much less find a way of courteously ending the conversation without looking like she was about to run away. “Are you waiting around for him?”

She seemed like she hadn’t heard Grace’s question but, soon enough, they made eye contact again.

“No. I just felt a little faint before so I thought I would sit in here for five minutes. It’s probably just the heat, though. Although that was about…” She checked the watch on her wrist. “Half an hour ago so, yes, I suppose I should be thinking about leaving.”

“Don’t leave on my account if you’re not feeling well? I can get someone to call you a cab if you need one?”

“No, it’s fine. Some fresh air will do me good.”

There wasn’t a lot spoken between them after that. Grace offered to call her a cab once more but Christine declined it once more as well. She checked her phone before chucking it into the side pocket of her handbag, and gathered up the paper before nodding her a goodbye.

Whatever it was that had transpired, whatever it was that had led to Christine sitting by herself for this short time, Grace had a feeling it wouldn’t be the last she would see of her. And, as odd as that made her feel, what right did she have to know about their relationship anyway? About what was or was not going to happen?

Those were the thoughts she found whirling around her brain for the rest of the afternoon.

She sat in her office staring at some notes she had made the night before while supervising Sam as he made them all dinner. Nothing quite like summarising a $10million settlement for a three-month long (or should that be short?) matrimony as her innocent, beautiful son made some mac ‘n’ cheese.

A direct message popped up on the bottom right corner of her screen and she inwardly groaned. She rubbed at her eyes with the tips of her fingers, steeling herself to move from the relative solitude of her office.

“What’s up?” She asked Andy as she poked her head into his office a few minutes later.

He turned in his chair to see her in his doorway and placed the file he had been skimming through on his desk in front of him, letting out the air from his puffed out cheeks.

“You think we’ve been too hasty on this McLaughlin case?” He asked her outright.

“No.” She shook her head but still pondered his question in case there was some minor detail they had both omitted from their memories. “He pretty much admitted to all of the affairs, even the ones he couldn’t explicitly remember. It was a bit odd but you said yourself that it was cut and shut.”

He tapped his fingers on the file papers on the desk. “Yeh. Yes, you’re probably right. I just can’t shake the feeling that we could have saved him a bit more cash, y’know?”

Grace shrugged. “I’m sure he’s comfortable. He seemed pretty happy with the settlement at the time unless you’re thinking about raising an appeal on his behalf?”

He shook his head unsympathetically. “No, I’m not thinking that. Sorry, ignore me, it’s been a weird day.”

Grace forced a smile through her closed mouth. She nodded before turning on her heels to leave his office again.

“Grace?” He stood up from his chair. “Could you…shut the door for a second?”

She turned back to view him warily. He walked slowly around the side of his desk before leaning back against it, his hands nervously fidgeting with something in the pockets of his trousers. She did what he asked but she wasn’t exactly thrilled about what was likely going to come next.

“I’m sorry about Christine earlier. I wasn’t expecting...”

Grace shook her head hoping it would stop him in his tracks. “Don’t worry about it.”

He looked her over but she couldn’t work out what he was thinking. Likely, he was wondering why she appeared to be so casual about his ex-wife’s sudden presence.

“There isn’t… there’s nothing there. For me.”

“OK.” She blinked. “It’s not really any of my business.”

“I just didn’t want you to think there was.”

She nodded again. She suddenly felt like she was stood in front of a Principal who was giving her some unwanted advice about something she had been forced to discuss out loud.

“Right. Well,” he tried his hardest to mask his irritation at Grace’s apparent indifference.

He looked around his office at nothing in particular. Grace scratched at the back of head.

“I’m still sorry if it made you feel uncomfortable.”

“Andy, it’s fine, honestly. You guys were married for heaven’s sake, you have a history. It’s perfectly reasonable for you two to maintain a relationship, even after…everything.”

Andy huffed to himself. “I wouldn’t say we have a relationship exactly, of any kind. In fact, we hadn’t spoken in years before de la Salle. I wasn’t sure why she came by the office today either. Still not sure what she was after even now after she’s left.”

Grace wasn’t sure if he knew Christine had lingered around in a quiet part of the floor before she left earlier that afternoon, but she decided she wasn’t going to be the one to share that little titbit with him. It wasn’t exactly her place.

“What she was after?” She asked him.

“Yeh. She’s, er, getting married again.”

Grace was snapped suddenly by his admission. Reviewing his casual stance still leaning back against his desk, he didn’t appear to be upset or even remotely saddened by the news she apparently gave him just a few hours ago. If anything, he seemed surprised.

“…And she wanted to know what I thought.”

“About the marriage?” Grace approached.

“Yeh.” He nodded at her, matching her perplexity. “I didn’t understand either. I mean, we haven’t spoken in so long, not properly at least. I wasn’t aware we had to notify each other when we started seeing other people. Christ, I owe her a lot of visits.”

Grace rolled her eyes at him. Andy never asked for permission to do anything so of course it would make perfect sense that he wouldn’t think of giving someone the common curtesy of something so minimal and thoughtful, like ‘keeping in touch’.

“She was likely just giving you the heads-up in case you found out from someone else. Boston can be a small place.” Grace said. “Did she tell you about him, the new guy?”

“She said he’s nice, he works in marketing, I think. Oh, and he likes horses.” He shrugged like he wasn’t sure why Christine made a point of mentioning that specific detail.

“That’s cool.” She chuckles and he rolls his eyes in agreement. “It’s always good to find a man who like animals. And it bodes well for becoming a parent, I suppose, if she’s thinking about kids and the future and everything.”

“Thanks, I’ll remember that.” He speaks softly. He looks down at the floor and brushes his foot over the soft carpet below before snapping back into the room. “Why are you being so nice about her all of a sudden?”

“Why would I not be nice about her? Or neutral at least. I don’t know her.”

“S’pose.” He said. “She wanted to know if we had made a mistake. In breaking up.”

For the second time in as many minutes, Grace was rendered almost speechless.

“Oh. Right.” She nodded after what was far too long a pause for either of them to be comfortable with. She wanted to know what he said to her next but evidently, he was waiting for her to ask him that question instead. “What do you think about that?”

He shrugged almost nonchalantly. “There’s only so many times you can tell a person you weren’t right for each other, that you weren’t going to make the other one happy, y’know? I don’t particularly enjoy breaking people’s hearts, despite what you might think of me. I don’t think she deserves that shit again.”

Grace nodded and looked down at the floor by his feet, to avoid looking at his face.

“So, I told her I hope she’ll be happy and I hope the wedding goes well.” He spoke again, in a slightly more cheerful tone this time. “I mean, what else is there to say?”

It was a rhetorical question, she knew that, but it didn’t stop her trying to come up with words that might bring this awkward conversation to a close. As it happened, he did it for the both of them.

“I want you to come to Chicago with me next week. For the conference.”

Her eyes widened in shock but he remained as cool as ever as though he hadn’t just posed a completely impractical suggestion.

“That’s not going to be possible. With work and everything, I can’t just up-”

“Yes, you can. Nadine can take on the Phillips and Carlson cases, I know they’ve been dragging for a little while-” Oh wow, flirting and criticising her work in the same sentence. Nice. “-and anything else can wait a day or two. If we fly out Thursday morning and come back late Saturday evening, you’ll be back before anyone realises you’ve gone. It’s easy.”

He wasn’t blinking which was a thing he did when he was arguing with someone, like being trapped under the sheer weight of his intense stare would likely cause his opponent to cave at any moment. She’d shudder to think how many times it had worked in the past, and on whom, like it was almost working on her now.

“No, it’s not easy. I can’t up and leave with no warning, Andy. Even if work wasn’t an issue, I have the kids to think about. I’m sorry.”

“What if Jack asks you to come with me?”

“What?” She narrows her eyes towards him.

“This thing is a pretty big deal, Grace, it only happens once every two years. There’ll be some speakers there I know you’ll wanna see, like that lady with the cats on the front cover. Sadie…?” He clicks his fingers repeatedly until Grace can’t bear it any longer.

“Sadie Carmichael.”

“Sadie Carmichael!” He grins. “I remember you tried making me read her thesis on animal custody in divorce.”

“Yeh, and you kept falling asleep.”

He gets up from his desk and stalks towards her but mindful of leaving a foot between them so as not to crowd her back against the office door.

“I promise I won’t fall asleep this time.”

She does give him the satisfaction of thinking it over a tiny but before she declines him again, leaving him to back away from her.

“Just…think about it. Please?” He presses. “The kids could have a couple of nights with Dan, and I get to spend some time with you.”

“I thought this Chicago thing was a pretty big deal? Won’t you be wanting to schmooze with everyone?”

He purses his lips before smiling at her. “It has to come to an end at some time, right?” He bites his bottom lip in contemplation and regards her again. “That’s one thing I realised today, when she asked if I thought we made a mistake in ending our marriage. I knew instinctively that we hadn’t, it was almost an automatic feeling in me that it was right and that I didn’t regret leaving, but it doesn’t stop me feeling regret for other things I’ve done, or didn’t do. Things that I wanna make right…”

“Andy…”

“Just…a couple of days and then we can figure it all out afterwards.” He placed his hand in hers, hanging by her side. “I promise.”

#chris evans #chris fic #fanfic #andy barber #au #andy barber x original female character #andy barber x oc #case histories #chris evans fic #evans fic #writing is hard

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endusviolence · 1 month

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Rowling isn't denying holocaust. She just pointed out that burning of transgender health books is a lie as that form of cosmetic surgery didn't exist. But of course you knew that already, didn't you?

I was thinking I'd probably see one of you! You're wrong :) Let's review the history a bit, shall we?

In this case, what we're talking about is the Institut für Sexualwissenschaft, or in English, The Institute of Sexology. This Institute was founded and headed by a gay Jewish sexologist named Magnus Hirschfeld. It was founded in July of 1919 as the first sexology research clinic in the world, and was run as a private, non-profit clinic. Hirschfeld and the researchers who worked there would give out consultations, medical advice, and even treatments for free to their poorer clientele, as well as give thousands of lectures and build a unique library full of books on gender, sexuality, and eroticism. Of course, being a gay man, Hirschfeld focused a lot on the gay community and proving that homosexuality was natural and could not be "cured".

Hirschfeld was unique in his time because he believed that nobody's gender was either one or the other. Rather, he contended that everyone is a mixture of both male and female, with every individual having their own unique mix of traits.

This leads into the Institute's work with transgender patients. Hirschfeld was actually the one to coin the term "transsexual" in 1923, though this word didn't become popular phrasing until 30 years later when Harry Benjamin began expanding his research (I'll just be shortening it to trans for this brief overview.) For the Institute, their revolutionary work with gay men eventually began to attract other members of the LGBTA+, including of course trans people.

Contrary to what Anon says, sex reassignment surgery was first tested in 1912. It'd already being used on humans throughout Europe during the 1920's by the time a doctor at the Institute named Ludwig Levy-Lenz began performing it on patients in 1931. Hirschfeld was at first opposed, but he came around quickly because it lowered the rate of suicide among their trans patients. Not only was reassignment performed at the Institute, but both facial feminization and facial masculization surgery were also done.

The Institute employed some of these patients, gave them therapy to help with other issues, even gave some of the mentioned surgeries for free to this who could not afford it! They spoke out on their behalf to the public, even getting Berlin police to help them create "transvestite passes" to allow people to dress however they wanted without the threat of being arrested. They worked together to fight the law, including trying to strike down Paragraph 175, which made it illegal to be homosexual. The picture below is from their holiday party, Magnus Hirschfeld being the gentleman on the right with the fabulous mustache. Many of the other people in this photo are transgender.

[Image ID: A black and white photo of a group of people. Some are smiling at the camera, others have serious expressions. Either way, they all seem to be happy. On the right side, an older gentleman in glasses- Magnus Hirschfeld- is sitting. He has short hair and a bushy mustache. He is resting one hand on the shoulder of the person in front of him. His other hand is being held by a person to his left. Another person to his right is holding his shoulder.]

There was always push back against the Institute, especially from conservatives who saw all of this as a bad thing. But conservatism can't stop progress without destroying it. They weren't willing to go that far for a good while. It all ended in March of 1933, when a new Chancellor was elected. The Nazis did not like homosexuals for several reasons. Chief among them, we break the boundaries of "normal" society. Shortly after the election, on May 6th, the book burnings began. The Jewish, gay, and obviously liberal Magnus Hirschfeld and his library of boundary-breaking literature was one of the very first targets. Thankfully, Hirschfeld was spared by virtue of being in Paris at the time (he would die in 1935, before the Nazis were able to invade France). His library wasn't so lucky.

This famous picture of the book burnings was taken after the Institute of Sexology had been raided. That's their books. Literature on so much about sexuality, eroticism, and gender, yes including their new work on trans people. This is the trans community's Alexandria. We're incredibly lucky that enough of it survived for Harry Benjamin and everyone who came after him was able to build on the Institute's work.

[Image ID: A black and white photo of the May Nazi book burning of the Institute of Sexology's library. A soldier, back facing the camera, is throwing a stack of books into the fire. In the background of the right side, a crowd is watching.]

As the Holocaust went on, the homosexuals of Germany became a targeted group. This did include transgender people, no matter what you say. To deny this reality is Holocaust denial. JK Rowling and everyone else who tries to pretend like this isn't reality is participating in that evil. You're agreeing with the Nazis.

But of course, you knew that already, didn't you?

Edit: Added image IDs. I apologize to those using screen readers for forgetting them. Please reblog this version instead.

#transgender #trans history #transsexual #transphobia #Magnus Hirschfeld #holocaust #holocaust denial #book burning #j.k. rowling #jk rowling #just in case you missed what i mean by all this: go fuck yourself anon :)#trans people have always existed #and we will always exist #if you really wanna pick a fight with me over well-documented history then you better bring in some sources to back your shit #queer history #queer #lgbt+#lgbta+#lgbt #lgbt history #edit: i finally got around to those damn image IDs. i am so very sorry for totally forgetting that's my bimbo moment of the month #also real quick i thought about adding an image of the actual building but the only one i can find has a Nazi parade in front of it #it was taken the day of the book burning raid and honestly if i were to include it then i'd add it to the first few paragraphs #and i think the story's better told when you uphold the hope Magnus Hirschfeld and all the researchers he worked with had #also keeps being brought up: yes Hirschfeld was a eugenicist. it was a popular belief set that was only discredited after WW2 #Hirschfeld died in 1935. he literally didn't live long enough to see science turn against those beliefs and practices #considering how he changed his mind on transitions i like to think he would've changed his mind on eugenics too if he'd lived

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