#cashton fic

[littledrummeraussie]

I hope you’re still accepting blurbs, could I have a comfort one with poly!cashton? 🥺 been feeling blue lately and that no one cares about me and I need some of your fluff. Thank you thank you sweet Angie💕💗

Dear Hailey 💗  this one is angsty and full of feelings, but I do hope you find some comfort in it as well! 💗

This little blurb also takes place in the All The Things We Dream About universe.

masterlist. | want to be added to my taglist? | Christmas Blurb Fest 2022

I’ll hold you until we are whole again. [a poly!Cashton comfort blurb]

warnings: poly!relationship. mentions of a small non-descriptive, unnamed accident. time spent apart. struggles in a relationship. lots of angst and tears. a small shiny ray of hope and love at the end. aka Ashton needs to travel back home, and Calum and Y/N have to manage their lives without their boyfriend.

word count: 2326

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“Hey, how was your flight? Did you arrive safely?”

“I need a shower, I smell like plane,” Ashton groaned on the other side of the line, probably rubbing his face tiredly. “Lauren is picking me up in ten then she’ll take me to Mom.”

“How are they doing?” Calum asked next to you, the phone strategically placed between the two of you on the table so both of you could speak to Ashton.

“They manage, but I think it will be better now that I’m here,” Ash continued, his voice sounding a bit strained and quiet. “I’ll take care of them until we figure everything out.”

You exchanged a look with Calum, both of you thinking of the same thing – how Ashton always took it upon himself to make sure everyone was okay, that they were fed and showered and slept at least 6 hours, taking medications and looking after their mental health. Not just the two of you, but Michael and Luke as well, their friends as well, and his whole family back in Australia.

That’s where he was currently, halfway across the world, waiting for his sister to pick him up so he could help Lauren and Harry take care of their Mom who had a small accident which left her bedridden. It only took him a day to arrange everything and before you knew it he was out of the door, already heading home to help where he could. Both of you wished that you could join him, but your workplace wouldn’t have let you go on such short notice for more than a few days, and Cal needed to overtake some of the band stuff Ashton left behind. You also had a feeling that they agreed to Calum staying so you wouldn’t be alone while Ash was helping his family.

“I already miss you, though,” Ashton confessed, murmuring his words into the speaker. “Do you think we could schedule a video call tomorrow? And maybe by then I’ll know more that I can share too…”

“Yeah, of course. I’ll see when we’re both available and let you know, okay?” Cal nodded like Ashton was able to see him, so used to having him by his side. “You just go and take care of Anne Marie. And get some sleep too, you sound tired.”

“I am,” he sighed, and you wanted more than anything to reach out and hug him, let him cuddle close to you and fall asleep. “I gotta go, Lauren is here.”

“Just… call us if you need anything, okay? Doesn’t matter what’s the time,” you added, hoping that Ash will remember it – he tended to forget about his own needs when he put others first.

“I love you, both of you,” Ashton finally said, and you could hear how much he meant it, how much he really appreciated you and Cal being so supportive and being there for him.

“We love you too, Ash,” Calum replied, and you hummed in agreement, whispering a quiet ‘love you’ as well.

“Alright, I’ll talk to you tomorrow. Now go to sleep, you stayed up way too late because of me,” a laugh slipped out of him, and you were sure his cheeks were tinted pink. “Sorry about that.”

“Wouldn’t be the first time…” your other boyfriend made another comment, and after catching another quick laugh from Ashton the call was disconnected.

Calum reached for you and grabbed your waist, pulling you from your chair and into his lap, wrapping his arms around you. Yours settled around his neck, fingers diving into his soft dark locks, eyes trained on each other.

“Let’s get you into bed, okay?,” he finally said, and pressed his lips against your cheek. “You look tired.”

“Is it okay if I say that I already miss Ashton from our bed?” the confession left you before you could stop yourself, burrowing closer to Calum.

“Of course. I miss him too,” he rubbed your back soothingly, whispering against your ear. “I also sleep best when both of you are next to me. But for now we have each other, so let’s take care of us until our grumpy boyfriend is back home, okay?”

“Okay,” you mumbled, a smile pulling at your lips at Calum’s not-so-secret nickname for Ashton.

Calum tilted your chin up towards him and kissed you, taking a little bit of extra time with it to make up for Ashton’s absence. You let him carry you upstairs and into the bedroom, Duke curled up against your stomach in bed as Calum held you from behind, whispering softly to help you fall asleep, and promising that your boyfriend will be back soon, you won’t even notice that he was gone.

You desperately wished that that was true.

.

You tried your best, you really did – but it was hard to stay positive when Ashton told you a few days later that he definitely needed to stay for two weeks, maybe even more, and with that Calum started to spend more and more time on his phone and laptop, discussing band things with their management, or arranging meetings with the others to talk over whatever idea or info Ashton has sent them. You also did your best to focus on your own job, hoping it will distract you enough that you don’t think about missing your boys, but most of the time it was futile.

Both of you were tired by the time you came back home, only having enough energy to send a message to Ashton and hope he was available for a quick chat, then after dinner you usually found yourselves in bed, Calum falling asleep before his head hit the pillow. But you found that your sleep was restless, even with your boyfriend holding you close, soft breaths tickling your ear as he slumbered. You knew you were overreacting it all: Ashton needed to take care of his Mom, and Calum had to take over his tasks to make the band run smoothly.

And you – well, you felt like you worried too much about Ashton and expected too much from Calum, and that was driving you crazy. You knew Ash was well capable of taking care of himself and his family at the same time, that he didn’t need you to worry about his well-being or mental health, that if he needed something from the two of you he would just tell you. And yet you felt like you were letting him down, that you should do more than this, make his life easier while he was back in Australia, not just feeling sorry for him and yourself from the distance.

And then there was Calum, who suddenly didn’t have that much time on his hands because he was working for the two of them so the band did not fall behind on their schedule, who was trying to keep everything running smoothly while still making sure you were okay too. He was doing his best and tried to give you as much attention as they usually would together with Ashton, but you felt like it was too much energy for one and that you might have been too needy. He deserved a break too, and you wanted to give it to him, to them, not wanting to burden any of your boys with your own made up problems.

.

“Hey, sweets? Are you okay?”

You didn’t realize Calum stopped speaking, or that there were tears streaming down your face. Frustratedly you wipe at your eyes, hoping he did not see them, quickly shaking your head.

“I’m fine…”

“You don’t seem fine,” he pursed his lips, crouching down next to you. “You wanna talk about it?”

The words in your throat desperately wanted to escape, and you gripped the hem of Ashton’s hoodie you stole from his closet to swallow them down. Because you were not okay, you were ready to fall apart. Ashton’s been away for almost three weeks, with no news about his arrival back home while Calum’s been trying to juggle two separate roles at the same time, and it made you feel selfish that he needed to focus on your bad mood now too. You curled up in a ball in front of the couch, knees pulled up to your chest as you hid your face, doing your best to hold yourself together.

“Y/N? Baby, what happened?”

“I’m fine, I’m just…” you hiccupped, voice muffled as you choked on your words. “I’m okay, don’t– don’t worry about me…”

“To hell with that!” Calum scoffed loudly, settling down next to you and pulling you into his arms, at which more sobs bubbled up from your chest. “Tell me love, please? Let me help you. I’m always here, you know that, right?”

It was like the floodgates opened at his words, because it was true, and you hated yourself for it – because of course he was always there, that was one of the problems. You cannot expect him to tire himself out looking after you. You hated yourself for being so needy with Calum, for worrying so much about Ash, for missing him this much even though this wasn’t the first time he was away for long weeks. You felt like you didn’t appreciate Calum enough, that you took his love for granted. You felt like your head’s going to explode, along with your heart.

“…and I miss Ashton too, I do,” Calum whispered against your ear as he cradled your head to his chest, his own voice teary, and you realized that you just said it all out loud, and that Calum was currently responding to all your feelings you’ve been bottling up since Ash left. “It’s really hard without him, I know. I’m so used to him being here with us, I don’t think I’ve spent more than a few days apart from him in the last 10 years. And I know you do this all the time while we are on tour, and I can imagine it does not get easier.”

“Cal, I–”

“And I promise you you’re not taking my love for you granted, and I’m sure Ashton would say the same. Because we both love you very much, and it’s not a burden, you’re not a burden. We take care of you because we love you, and we want you to tell us when you’re struggling and feeling low. Don’t bottle these feelings up, we want to know what is going on with you. You are our girlfriend and you always come first.”

“I really don’t deserve your love,” you gathered all your strength to move into his lap, arms hugging his neck and burrowing into him, crying against his shoulder.

“Don’t say that,” Cal mumbled against your ear, warm hand caressing your back up and down to sooth you while he also swallowed back tears. “I love you. You gotta accept that.”

“I love you too, Cal,” you snuggled close, trying to quieten the last of your sobs.

.

“I really wish Ashton was here…”

It’s been long minutes since you calmed down a little, a few quiet sobs still bubbling up every now and then, and Calum tried to help you talk through all your feelings you’ve been avoiding for weeks now.

“I know, baby, me too,” he kissed the top of your head, using the sleeve of his sweater to wipe away his own tears. “We gotta get our shit together before we speak to him, don’t you think?”

“I would rather you just tell me…” the voice came from the direction of the door, and both Calum and you looked that way, finding Ashton standing there with his luggage next to him.

He looked weary and like he needed a shower and a proper hug, curls hanging over his forehead and his glasses, dark circles under his eyes. Before you knew it he shrugged off his jacket, letting it fall to the floor while quickly kicking off his shoes, letting them land in a heap behind the couch before rounding it and dropping down next to you, his arms curling around the both of you.

“Hey honeys, I’m home,” Ash hooked his chin over your shoulder, a long sigh leaving his lips. “I fucking missed you too.”

“You didn’t tell us you were coming,” Cal murmured, no heat in his voice as his forehead knocked against Ashton’s. “Would have picked you up.”

“I wanted to surprise you,” Ash said, manoeuvring his body around yours until he was able to pull you to his chest while settling against Calum’s side, all three of you cuddled up in a pile. “Guess I was the one who got surprised… Hey, it’s okay, shhh baby! I’m here!”

You sobbed into his neck, suddenly feeling overwhelmed from your confession to Calum and the fact that Ashton came back home, holding both of you tightly against his body. You heard Cal sniffle above you, and Ash also took off his glasses to wipe at his eyes, his voice a little weak when he spoke again.

“I guess we all just need to hold each other a little tighter tonight.”

“It was a long three weeks without you,” Calum let his head rest on top of his, and Ash nodded, adjusting you in his lap as you started calming down again.

“I just wanna be with you two,” Ashton confessed, kissing your cheek and then Calum’s as well, his body slowly going lax. “Just want to be us again. Want to feel whole again.”

You quietly mumbled your love for them against his shirt as you found your words, voice still a little teary, but full of love, and they whispered their confessions right back to you, the three of you in a pile on the floor, trying to mend the pieces of your hearts which were not broken, but definitely needed some tender loving care from each other to properly heal – to be whole again.

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@mymindwide @fuckyeah5sostakemehome @suchalonelysunflower @talkfastromance4 @ashtonsunflower @in-superbloom @wiiildflowerrr @lovelywordsblog @heyitskelseaj @whentherosesbl00m

#ashton irwin #calum hood #ashton irwin x reader #calum hood x reader #cashton x reader #poly!cashton x reader #poly!cashton #cashton fic #fiction time #afic: all the things #series: all the things #christmas blurb fest 2022

[basslinecal]

Cashton, emotional hurt/comfort, 5.3k words, content warning: depression

He knows what this is. He's no stranger to a depressive episode, especially after a tour. Ashton says that it's because of the change of momentum, or the lack of focus, or something or other. Ashton would say it's okay to feel this way, to breathe through it and let it pass. Fighting against it will only make it worse. Calum calls Ashton during a depressive episode, with a nod to their unspoken rule: if you need me, just call.

✩ Read it on Ao3, here ✩

#5 seconds of summer #5sos #ashton irwin #calum hood #cashton #cashton fic #ngl i feel so nervous posting this #but whatever life is short #mine

[calumsash]

fic moodboard inspired by tiger stripes by @daydadahlias

The sun makes its orange fur look golden, hot. If Calum were to touch it, he’s sure it would burn him like fire. Not that Calum has ever had any problem with flames. But he doesn’t particularly care for them attached to an animal like this.

He’s never seen a tiger in person.

#oh wow would you look at that another cashton mb who would have believed it from me????? #this was on the reread list and i haven't read it since it was posted so this was nice #what a little slice of life fic <3 just painful enough and just full of hope enough!!! #i will be loosing my mind over ashton's past in this fic even tho we only got the tiniest glimps of it #and same goes for calum #ok anyways to the the mb itself!! i actually combined the stars and the quote pic so i can fit them both in the 9 pics limit #it turned out pretty i think #we got honeybee and snoopy (snow pea) the cutest tigers around #we got the bumpy train and the circus #calum looking around and ashton just being himself #and i knew i was gonna put the stretch marks but i also wanted to represent ashton's freckles #cause they did get a mention in the fic #it's about the contrast 😌 #jess i hope you like this and also monse i hope you like this cause jess wrote this for u #please accept my humble gift to you two #fic moodboard #cashton fic

[tirednotflirting]

this could be heaven (if heaven was an actual place)

hello there! it’s time for the 2022 5SOS Song Fic Fest ( @5sos-fic-fest )! it’s here! we did it!

firstly! many many thanks to @allsassnoclass​ for organizing this event! this was so fun and i’m very very appreciative for your support and for keeping all of us organized lol.

this fic is inspired by the song Mona Lisa, Mona Lisa by FINNEAS. (it’s a good one! go listen!)

special thanks go out to @reveriesofawriter for reading like three different versions of this silly little story and also convincing me at least a few times that i was indeed capable or writing this. meghna ilysm, idk how i got so lucky to know you. also many thanks to @kaleidoscopeminds <3 somehow the moment i was questioning whether or not i should participate in this event, meg showed up in my dms to encourage me to sign up. she’s got super powers i stg. meg ily your support in all things means more than i could ever express. also - shout out to my roommate who let me read bits of this out loud to her to check for flow. she’ll never read this but bless her.

here this is on ao3 if that’s more your jam

happy reading :)

Michael is still getting used to not waking up alone.

Before, when he was off tour, he’d wake around 9. Though all of the health Tiktoks he’d get on his For You page (and his mother) would advise against it, he typically would immediately pick up his phone and scroll through the notifications that had gathered while he slept. Usually dumb things on Twitter and Instagram, late night DMs of dog videos from Calum, emails also from Calum related to something the PR team needs Michael to do. Eventually, he would climb out of bed and shuffle into the kitchen to wake up his coffee maker. 

While the coffee brewed, he would feed the dogs and turn on a podcast likely suggested to him by Ashton (he was big on podcasts for a while). He would let the dogs out to the backyard before sitting at the island with his coffee to continue listening to the podcast. His second cup would be accompanied by a scroll through his news app to check up on what was going on in the world. After he felt caught up, he would retreat back to his room, get dressed, and text Calum or whoever he was writing with or his manager, all depending on what was to be done that day. He didn’t spend all that much time with his mornings; there was always something to be done and he didn’t want to get behind on things.

But still, it was a mindless routine. His mother or Ashton would shake up the routine every once in awhile by sharing some tip they had heard or read somewhere that would have Michael adding in a glass of lemon water before the coffee or a gummy multivitamin that he kept on his nightstand to make sure he didn’t forget to take them. But ultimately the routine stuck to the same general pattern until Michael went on tour and would have to relearn the whole thing upon returning to LA so many months later.

That all changed after Luke became a part of Michael’s world.

It depended on the day of the week. He taught early morning labs on some weekdays and it made more sense for him to stay at his place closer to campus to get to those since sweetheart, I love you but rockstars live too far from the campus. This particular morning was a Tuesday, which meant Luke wasn’t due on campus until a meeting with his advisor at 3PM. That meant they could sleep in. That was the first change to Michael’s routine: rising a bit later in the morning. But the purple painted below Luke’s baby blue eyes worried him more than he would ever let him know, so they slept in a bit.

The ridiculous sleep schedule was one of the first things Michael learned about Luke. Though it had taken a week for him to respond to Michael’s first messages to him after being set up by Calum and Ashton (It’s not my fault they decided to set me up with their hot musician friend the week before my qualifying exams, okay?), Luke’s initial suggestion that they meet for dinner at 10PM was the first of an endless number of times he would make Michael laugh. It was the lack of predictability of their schedules that made their amateur match-making friends first think that they might make a good pair. Six months since their first date at the diner across the street from campus and everyday Michael thanks his lucky stars that his best friends love getting in the middle of his business.

On this Tuesday, something stirs Michael closer to around 9:30. They’ve managed to remember to close the curtains for once so the room isn’t too bright and Michael is grateful to not wake up to the blinding mid-morning sun. He hears a scratch at the door (the dogs are still getting used to routines a bit later than they like). Michael turns his gaze to Luke, worried that the sudden noise will wake him. 

Luke faces toward Michael, his chest pressed against the mattress and the blanket and sheets pushed down to the dip of his lower back. Michael’s eyes catch the constellation of freckles dotted along his back and shoulders that’s grown from summer afternoons at the beach with the dogs. If Luke were awake, Michael would probably trace a fingertip between them but again, his brilliant boy needs the rest. Blonde curls are splayed out on the pillow and half covering Luke’s face in a way that should look messy but somehow still looks like a piece of art. How Luke manages to look so angelic while unconscious is a mystery Michael thinks he could spend the rest of his life trying to solve and still come up with nothing. 

Chapped lips puff against the pillow at a slow tempo and Michael figures there’s no way Luke is close to waking. He gently slides off the mattress to keep the beat steady and shuffles across the carpet to the door. He hears a quiet whine behind him and turns. Luke has lifted his head just slightly from the pillow. His eyes are hidden behind the hair that’s fallen in his eyes and his bottom lip is pouted in Michael’s direction. Michael laughs quietly and walks back toward the bed. 

“Sleep for a few more minutes,” he mumbles through a kiss pressed to the top of Luke’s head and the tip of his scrunched up nose. “I’ll have coffee waiting on the patio.” Luke hums something that sounds like agreement to the plan (he rarely gets any argument from Luke when the promise of coffee has been made) and drops his head back to the pillow. Michael waits in the doorway for a moment, smiling at the scene of this boy he’s fallen so hard for even after just six months tangled up in his sheets. He pulls his eyes away and gently closes the door behind him, only just barely fighting against the temptation to crawl back into bed and let the whole day slip away from them under the cover of bright white blankets and sheets.

Michael shuffles down the hall and through a morning-sun soaked living room. The kitchen is lit up from the big windows over the sink, the light bouncing off of a flower vase sitting in the window sill painting the countertops with a pink glow. Michael starts brewing a pot of coffee, the dogs’ nails clicking against the kitchen floor behind him. Moose spends the whole thirty seconds it takes for him to dump a cup of food in her bowl whining and looking up at him with pleading eyes. He laughs quietly to himself and pets the top of her head before he returns to the coffee pot. Michael has taken a pause on the morning podcasts; he’s found that starting his days with quiet is more effective in lifting his mood. He likes not having to pause something when Luke eventually comes out to join him. 

He is comforted by the sound of the dogs eating their breakfast and the coffee dripping into the carafe. He remembers the first time he felt that, how he got so worried that he was settling into some kind of domesticity too young. When he raised the concern with his mom, she only laughed, saying she had felt the same thing at his age. He thinks about how his parents have spent their mornings for the last thirty years. 

He reaches into the cabinet above the coffee machine for a couple mugs (his, from a radio station in Cleveland, and Luke’s, bright red and reads Trust me! I’m an engineer.). He pours them each a mug (adding a couple spoonfuls of sugar to his own) before heading out the sliding glass door onto the patio. He’s found that the fresh air wakes him up probably even more than the coffee, if he’s being honest. It’s late September and living in LA means the tile under his feet is still warm despite autumn arriving a few days before. The dogs run around his feet before chasing each other into the grass and around the pool. Michael smiles, squinting against the light and takes a seat on the couch after setting the mugs safely on the coffee table. 

As he drinks his coffee, he finds himself trying to somehow savor the moment more than he normally does (he’s gotten a lot better at being present just in general, his therapist would be proud of him). He leaves for a short tour in a couple days and as much as he loves being on the road, he finds he misses the mornings most when on a bus for weeks at a time.

When he was away in June and July for a summer tour, he was reminded for the first time in a while of why he had spent so long guarding his heart from something like what he had with Luke. It was a tour with six bands Michael had spent the end of his teen years traveling across the country with during Warped Tour. It was like traveling with family, and yet Michael found himself missing someone other than his mom on tour for the first time pretty much ever. When he talked to Calum and Ashton about it one night in the parking lot before bus call and asked if they thought he was too into Luke and I don’t know guys, maybe this isn’t good for me, maybe we need to take a break. Calum had only rolled his eyes but Ashton smiled kindly and patted him on the back to tell him it was the exact way he had felt about Calum out on his first tour and then handed Michael his phone already dialing Luke.

Realizing his heart didn’t belong entirely to himself anymore was an adjustment but after six weeks of almost nightly phone calls (sometimes Facetimes when Michael found himself missing Luke’s too big smile and California skies and eyes to match it) and the trip Luke made to the Chicago stop (Michael, I want to visit the Bean), he thinks he knows how to go about things this time around. (It’s another thing his therapist would probably be proud of him for.)

It’s the Chicago trip that Michael is thinking about when he hears the back door slide open and a moment later, a pair of lips pressing against the bedhead he’s yet to bother taming. Luke joins him on the couch, immediately moving to fold his long legs up under him and settle under the arm Michael holds out. His hair is tied back in a tiny bun and he’s wearing one of Michael’s old stretched out t-shirts that’s threatening to fall from his shoulder. Luke looks so good in the mornings, it should be criminal. He takes a sip of his coffee and hums to himself, delighted at the taste.

“Good morning,” Luke says in a voice still gravelly from sleep, a lazy smile pulling at his lips. He presses another kiss against Michael’s jaw and drops his head against his shoulder. Michael lets his fingers tangle into the curls at the back of Luke’s neck while taking another sip of his coffee.

“Sleep alright?” Michael asks with a laugh when he hears Luke yawn. Out in the yard, South settles in for a nap in the sun. Moose continues to run in circles around the smaller dog.

Luke leans forward to set his mug on the coffee table. “Like a baby,” he replies, and leans back into the couch. “I’m going to come over here and steal all your fancy pillows while you’re out on the road. Costco pillows are like bricks to me now.”

Michael laughs. “You could just stay here while I’m gone, you know? Calum is going to be here to watch the dogs but I don’t think he’d mind the company.”

“Oh, don’t worry,” Luke says with a wave of his hand. “We’ve already planned slumber parties so we can gossip about you and Ashton while you’re on the other side of the country.”

“As long as Moose gets her special treats, the place is all yours.”

“Thank you, honey.”

They sit in the silence for a while, the jingle of the dogs’ collar tags and the windchime around on the front porch a delicate soundtrack as they finish their coffee. Luke moves to stretch out along the couch when Michael gets up to leave their mugs in the sink and grab his journal. 

The remainder of their morning routine continues from there. Michael does some journaling, scribbling down some lyrics in the margins until he finishes up the prompt he had been working on. After a few minutes, Luke stands and wanders into the yard. He stretches and runs around with the dogs for a while (his bright laughter when the dogs run between his feet the music to go along with Michael’s doodled lyrics). Eventually, he returns to the patio and drops back onto the couch, his head dropping to the pillow on the opposite end of the couch from Michael.

Michael pauses in his writing and turns to look at Luke. He’s lost the hair elastic that had been holding the bun at some point and his hair looks something like a tiny lion’s mane the way it fans out against the pillow he’s resting on. His fingers are pulling at the bottom hem of the t-shirt he’s wearing in a way that just after they met earlier in the year, Michael has always interpreted as a nervous habit. He remembers being worried he was making Luke nervous somehow only to find out it’s just what Luke did when he was working through some puzzle or idea in his mind. Michael studies his face now, the way his nose will scrunch up just the slightest bit, the small lines forming between his eyebrows. Luke’s eyes don’t stray from their gaze up at the ceiling as he reaches a hand up to scratch at the pale stubble on his jaw. It’s like he’s tracing out invisible constellations on the ceiling of Michael’s back patio. 

Michael lifts a hand and gently pats at Luke’s ankle, a silent back in a minute with more coffee. As he heads for the door, he can’t be certain if the quiet buzzing he hears in between the windchime is the hummingbird visiting the feeder outside the kitchen window or the racing of Luke’s mind. He settles on the possibility of both and opens the sliding door. 

He leans against the island as the coffee maker whirs back to life and looks back out to the patio. Luke has sat up in preparation for more coffee and even from the far side of the kitchen, Michael just catches Luke’s dimple as he lets the dogs climb all over him on the couch. 

He thinks back to his parents again, about one particular picture that’s hanging in the dining room back home in Sydney. It’s the two of them, probably about the same age Michael is now, Michael’s dad laughing at something and his mom smiling fondly behind her mug. Growing up, his mom had always told him that that’s what love should be; someone who never stops bringing you joy, who never stops making you laugh. Michael spent a very long time thinking that it would be okay if he never found that romantically, that it wasn’t something he needed.

He thinks about the lockscreen image on his phone, a picture Calum had taken when the four of them had gone out for brunch in Chicago before Luke and Calum had needed to head for the airport. In the picture, Michael is wearing one of Luke’s hoodies and has an arm around the back of Luke’s chair. Luke’s eyes are closed in laughter and Michael is smiling as he reaches for his coffee with his free hand. 

Michael never intended to share his heart with someone else. But as he fills the coffee mugs again to head back outside, he finds himself making a mental note to print some pictures for the frames in his dining room.

+++

It’s their last night in Paris.

They had started the day ambitious, intent on trying the fancy place a couple blocks from the hotel for dinner but after a day of sight-seeing, they both knew that they were lacking the patience and energy required to get changed and be in public any longer. Michael had been trying to think of a way to make the suggestion to stay in to Luke in the back of their Uber when Luke lifted his head from Michael’s shoulder to shyly suggest that they chill that bottle of sparkling wine they had picked up the day before and order room service instead. Over three years together and it still sometimes surprises Michael how in sync they often are.

They pass a couple of the guys from Michael’s band and crew in the lobby (Ashton and Calum missing because there was something Ashton had needed to ask Calum at the bistro where they had their first date on Michael’s 2016 European tour). Michael waves to them while Luke asks for the ice machine location at the front desk. As they wait for the elevator, Michael intertwines his fingers with Luke’s, smiling at the way Luke never fails to squeeze their palms together every single time Michael holds his hand. It gives him butterflies that he was certain had all flown away when he was still a dumb teenager traveling across the country in cramped vans and kissing boys in the alleys behind shitty bars that had barely even let a teenage punk take the stage. He lifts their joined hands up to his lips as the elevator chimes its arrival. 

Their room is golden from the light pouring in through the open curtains as the sun starts its fall toward the horizon in between the buildings they can see from their balcony. They tend to be messy travelers (it makes Ashton anxious whenever he has to stop by for an allergy pill or Michael's Switch charger) and this trip is no exception, their clothes all mixed together between two open suitcases in front of the bed. It's not often they're allowed so much time in one spot but between some additional promo for the new single and actual begging with his booking agent, the band and crew (and partners with airline miles burning a hole in their pockets) got four whole days in Paris. Michael's been highly reflective for a number of reasons on this trip and thinking about how far he's come in his career, to be able to have that flexibility in his touring schedule, isn't lost on him. 

Luke doesn't wait for Michael to follow him before continuing through the entryway and launching himself onto the bed. Michael leans against the wall, a smile pulling at his lips at the sight of Luke wiggling out of a cardigan Michael is pretty sure was pulled from his own suitcase. He's been grateful to have Luke out on the road, though he's especially happy it was this week he was able to make it out rather than a week of back to back dates. As much as he loves being able to see his boyfriend standing side stage night after night, he felt that Luke needed the rest. It's been a long semester for him, finally nearing the end of his studies. Michael knows Luke loves the work (he has a habit of reminding him even in his sleep on his most restless nights) but he sent his advisor a last, final draft of his dissertation for edits a couple hours before boarding the flight to France and the weight off his shoulders is almost physically obvious. 

Michael tosses his hoodie toward the couch and grabs the room service menu before taking a spot beside Luke, Michael’s head dropping to rest against his shoulder. As the sun continues its daily descent, the sky painting their room in shades of orange and pink and purple as it goes, they call out anything that catches their eye to each other until Michael grabs the phone from the nightstand and dials for the room service line. Luke shuffles around and settles his head against Michael's lap and whispers last minute additions to their order as Michael smiles in between items to the person on the other end of the line. Luke doesn't move once Michael hangs up so he spends a few minutes running his fingers through Luke's hair fluffing up the curls that spent most of the day squashed by a beanie. He senses that the action is likely putting Luke to sleep so he asks him to lift his head back to the pillow, announcing that he needs to shower before food shows up. 

Luke sits up for a moment and presses a kiss against Michael's jaw before dropping his head back to the pillow. He mumbles a promise to not sleep through the food being delivered as he reaches for his phone to set an alarm. Michael laughs but by the time he reaches the other side of the room and turns back toward the bed, Luke is already asleep again. He leans against the wall beside the bathroom again and smiles at the scene before him. Their somehow lived-in hotel room is bathed in indigo as the last moments of the day fade from the Parisian sky with Luke nestled into the center of it. The whole scene is a combination of so many things that Michael loves: music, touring, this gorgeous city, the person he so head over heels for that he gets to share all of it with.  

He sometimes wonders if he should be worried, doing the long distance thing for as long as they have. Maybe he shouldn't be as comforted as he is by how well they work with Michael on the road and Luke as busy as he is with school but somehow it works for them. It's not something he's ever experienced with any other relationship in his life that exists outside of others in the industry. Up against everything that should make it all fall apart, they stand steady. He's never been religious, barely even spiritual if he's being honest with himself. But something about the view his eyes are taking in right now, Luke and their life and the skyline just beyond the balcony, feels like Heaven. Or whatever Heaven is meant to be.

-

A few hours later, Luke is twisting off the wire cage from the bottle of wine they had picked up. They're out on the balcony and the air is just on the cool side of a late summer night, perfectly comfortable with a hoodie tossed on. Michael doesn't bother closing the door when he comes back to join Luke with a couple of flutes he found hiding beside the mini-fridge. He smiles at the concentration shown on Luke's face when he carefully drops the cage on the table between them and starts twisting the cork. Michael places the flutes on the table a safe distance from where Luke is sitting right as the cork pops! into a potted plant next to Michael. Luke's laughter fills the air around them and he reaches for one of the glasses.

Michael watches Luke gently filling the glasses and finds his chest filled with an emotion he's been feeling every few hours since he woke up that morning. He's still doing a pretty good job at being present but he can't help the way he allows his heart to start longing for the boy across from him even before he's left to get back to the lab and the hallways of the university building Luke pretty much lives in when he's not with Michael. It's like there's a weight of something dropped onto his chest the moment Luke steps onto another flight away from him. It's a feeling Michael has had described to him from just about every person he's met on a tour who has a partner back home they’re waiting to get back to. It's a feeling Michael was hesitant to believe he'd ever experience himself. Now he's filled two albums just trying to describe it.

Luke leans across the table and sets a glass in front of Michael. He sits up for a moment himself and presses his lips to the corner of Luke’s mouth in thanks. As he settles back in his chair, his mind is pulled back to where they are right now: together, on a balcony in one of his favorite places in the world, in love, drinking horribly expensive bubbles. Beneath the table, Michael taps a slow beat against Luke's ankle with his foot. He feels floaty, like he's drunk on the moment before he's even sipped from the glass in front of him.

They talk about their plans for the week in the same kind of way that they would while making Sunday dinner back in LA. (In their kitchen, a title the space received about six months ago once Michael finally got the guts to ask Luke to move in. At that point, Luke had taken over a third of Michael’s closet, his entire bathroom counter, and was on a first name basis with every mail person that stopped by the house. Luke found the formality cute though and made a big show of changing his address in the university records when his lease ended the following month.) Michael and the band are headed onwards to Germany the following evening. Ashton had preemptively conspired some sort of reason to convince Calum to continue on with them to the Berlin show so they can be disgustingly in love and engaged for a solid 36 hours before Calum follows Luke home to LA. Luke has some meetings at the end of the week and needs to schedule a conference room for his defense at the end of October. Michael reminds him that the dogs have their checkup at the vet Friday afternoon and Luke runs inside for a moment for his phone to add that to his calendar because he had in fact forgotten. He returns with a quilt from bed and the slice of chocolate cake they had ordered earlier.

Michael shifts his chair closer to Luke so they can share both. It doesn’t get much better than this, he thinks, as Luke steals a kiss in between a bite of cake and a sip of wine. But then, he supposes, the city reads his mind somehow and the Eiffel Tower starts sparkling between buildings in the distance just behind Luke. 

Yeah, Michael thinks when Luke turns to see what Michael is looking at and gasps, pretty close to Heaven.

+++

They have three hours until Michael needs to be back at the bus and four until Luke needs to be checked in at the airport. But the previous night, drunk on chocolate cake and sparkling wine and each other, they decided they needed to visit the Louvre. Michael had bought the tickets online and texted his tour manager the plan with Luke kissing down his neck and laughing in bed.

They had to be strategic in their plan for this visit, knowing they were limited on time. Luckily for them, it’s gorgeous outside, meaning that the museum is a touch less busy than it might be on a rainier day. 

Luke decides they should finish their visit with the Mona Lisa since it’s likely to be one of the busier galleries and because he thinks it’ll be a cinematic way to finish off the trip. His labmates had been insistent that he tell them everything about his trip upon his return home, going so far as to schedule an additional meeting just before their lab meeting that week to catch up. He smiles to himself as he lets Michael lead him to the next gallery on their list, thinking about the chocolates in his suitcase he’s brought to share with Ellie and Jacob in their lab’s tiny break room.

Before he knows it, Luke is looking up and there’s a small crowd gathered around the center of the last room on their self-guided tour. They take a spin around the room first, admiring the other pieces gracing the space. Luke loves a museum day, but even more than that, he loves a museum day with Michael. He loves watching the way Michael will drop Luke’s hand to lift it to rest his chin in, his eyes slowly panning over a piece and then reading the card beside the frame, his fingers adorned with chipped black polish scratching at his beard. Luke loves art but there’s something about watching an artist love art that fills his chest up with a feeling he can’t even describe.

Finally they make their way to the room’s centerpiece, Michael’s eyes wide and maybe a touch watery as they take in the view. He’s been quiet in this room compared to most of the others. He reaches his hand back down for Luke’s, his eyes not leaving the piece in front of him. Luke keeps looking between the painting and Michael looking at the painting. He’s struck speechless, whether from the art or Michael, he’s not sure. He’s looking up at the piece again when Michael squeezes his fingers to get his attention.

“Not to be a dork but can you take a picture?” Michael asks shyly.

Luke smiles. “Of course,” he says, pulling out his phone. “Also you took like 60 of me with the Eiffel Tower, you are not a dork.”

He snaps a couple shots of Michael smiling just to the left of where the piece hangs several feet behind him, his cheeks pink and hair almost falling in his eyes.

Michael plucks the phone from Luke’s fingers as they step away, letting the people behind them take their turn in front of the painting. “How do they look?” Michael asks as he navigates to Luke’s photo app.

“Perfect,” Luke says. He reaches for Michael’s free hand as they head for the hall that will take them back toward the museum lobby. “Though she’s got nothing on you, honestly.”

Michael laughs brightly as they reach the stairs back to the Pyramid. “Now who’s the dork?” he laughs and lifts their joined hands to his lips. “Thank you for coming with me. Love you.”

“Love you too,” Luke echoes, and they step out into the light.

*

#5sossongficfest2022 #muke fic #5sos fic #michael fic #luke fic #cashton fic #hesitant to put that one but i'm proud of that side cashton alright? #they're fucking cute #songfic #also sorry i've never been to paris i was guessing for that entire section <3

[clumsyclifford]

faith in a stolen car

pairings: calum hood/ashton irwin rating: T word count: 1.6k important tags: crime, driving, complicated relationships, implied sexual content, springsteen references

“You only need to get caught once,” Ashton said.

Calum smiled. “Then I won’t get caught once.”

fic #2 written for @5sos-fic-fest and based on jean jacket by the summer set!

#calum hood #ashton irwin #cashton #cashton fic #5sos #5sos fic #fic #my fic #5sossongficfest2022 #fic mb #my mb #cashton felt right for this #even though as soon as i had decided on cashton i realized i chose the two members of 5sos who have worn jean jackets the least often #not sexy of me for moodboard reasons but i think i made it work #this one is arguably much better than the jet lag one #weird given it was made at about 4am last night lmao but sometimes that's how it is #oddly enough this is the second fic ive ever written that was rife with springsteen references. the other one isnt rpf #but still. if i had a nickel etc etc it's weird that it happened twice! #although in my defense bld is like springsteen devoted slave number one he made the bed and then forced me to lie in it #i'm pretty sure writing fic is exclusively responsible for how much springsteen ive listened to and come to love this past year #ive listened to born in the usa (the album) like.....MANY times! a lot of times! #shoutout to meghna mostly for this fic being what it is #like. not really but also very much yes #it excites me that this fic is very different on all levels from my other one

[crossedwiress]

and when i'm back in chicago, i feel it

#this is for jess!!!! #bc all my cashton moodboards are lets be real #but this one is inspired by the beautiful fic ~made in magnolia~ which i can proudly say i've read in it's entirety now #so yeah anyways #here's a moodboard! #love u lots jess i hope u vibe w this #cashton #moodboard #e*creations #calum #ashton

[csashton]

Lost - DR3 x Reader

Summary: reader loses their kid in the paddock, quick little blurb

Pairing: Daniel Ricciardo / Reader

Warnings: little angsty & fluffy, kid fic

Word count: 764

my master list 🖤 A/N: come be my friend and say hi, or - if you have a request of any type, send it over 🖤

In the blink of an eye, she was gone. Panic gripped your stomach as you frantically checked every open room near you. To your left was a group of mechanics chatting, “I’m so sorry to interrupt, have you seen a little girl around? About yay high-” you put your hand by your thigh. “Curly hair, brown eyes, and wearing an orange dress?” 

Your heart drops even further when they shake their heads, one of them patting you on the back. “I’m sure she couldn’t have gone far, her little legs can only go so fast.” You nod as you walk into the next room - you look insane with how wildly you’re running through each room. 

Eventually, you made it to the outdoor seating area where some of the team was sitting. Charlotte met your eye after a moment, “Everything alright?” Your chest clenches.  “No, Rosie is missing.” you whisper, and the reality sets in. 

If she made it outside, she was lost in the paddock, or even worse, someone took her. Charlotte’s eyebrows pull together as she looks at you, “What do you mean Rosie is missing?” Your wide eyes meet hers and your brain runs through all the horrible things that could be happening to her right now. “She was right next to me while I was upstairs editing photos, and now she’s gone!” your voice raises, arms thrown out to gesture around you. 

A surprised laugh comes out of Charlotte, which makes your anger spike. “She’s not missing, she’s right over there.” You follow her hand to where she’s pointing, a shady spot in the back of the outdoor area. Lo and behold, there she was - perched on Daniel’s lap. “Oh my god.” you breathe out, your hand clutching over your heart as you take a deep breath in before walking over to her. 

“Rosie, you cannot run off like that!” you scold, moving to pull her from Daniel’s lap. She leans back against him with a smile, “Mommy and Daddy!” Daniel laughs, wrapping his arms around her. “Don’t worry, Rosie. I’ll protect you from Mommy’s wrath!” You put your hands on your hips, you’re sure he can feel the anger radiating off of you. “Baby, you cannot run away from Mommy like that. What if you got lost forever? What if someone stole you?” you ask, frustrated. 

Her little voice took on an incredulous tone, “I go Daddy!” She grabs onto his hands. You narrow your eyes at him, huffing out a laugh. “You didn’t think to tell me you stole my child, Daniel?” you raise your eyebrow at him. “Baby, I thought you saw me take her. Plus, she batted her eyelashes. How can I say no to my favorite girl?” he pouts, batting his eyelashes at you. “Also, last time I checked I helped make her so I’m pretty sure she’s our child..” his joke gets a laugh from a few of the team sitting around. “Rosie, apologize to Mommy. You can’t run off on her, we need to make sure you’re safe.” his voice is soft, “And Daddy is sorry for not telling you that I took her, but she’s safe and that’s what matters, right?” 

When she turns back to face you, she has her best puppy dog eyes on. "Mommy I sorry.” you smile back at her as you crouch down, kissing her forehead. “Thank you, baby. No running off without telling mommy, okay?” you confirm before sliding your eyes up to meet Daniel’s. “And you, are in SO much trouble.” His eyes go wide and he opens his mouth to speak but shuts it at your glare. “You have a phone, Charlotte has a phone, all these people around you have a phone and you didn’t think to text me?” you raise an eyebrow, putting your hands back on your hips.

“Daddy time out.” you hear Rosie cheer from his lap, breaking the tension between the two of you as everyone around you laughs. “That’s right, baby. Daddy time out.” you grin, “Come on honey, it’s time to go get lunch and Daddy has to work.” You pull her off his lap, leaning down to give him a quick kiss. She leans her head on your shoulder, hugging you. “I’ll see you later, Danny. Be safe, I love you.” Rosie lifts her head, “Love daddy!” her tiny voice calls out as she waves to him while you walk away. “Love you girls!” you hear him yell out as you reach the hospitality doors. One day the two of them would be the death of you. 

#formula 1 x reader #formula 1 fanfic #formula 1 blurb #formula 1 prompt #daniel ricciardo #daniel ricciardo x reader #daniel ricciardo blurb #csashtonwrites #cashton #kid fic #f1

[vasattope]

Moodboard for Rory's (@1loulu5) cashton soulmate AU, as requested ✨

#i struggled with the colours A LOT with this one #i hope you like it Rory! #thanks for trusting me with a moodboard for your fics again 💜 #5sos #5 seconds of summer #cashton #calum hood #ashton irwin #5sos moodboard #moodboard #my moodboard

[daydadahlias]

What I love about Ashton getting a cat (I'm assuming the cat is his), is that people can start writing his cat into fanfics!!🐱 The first cat in the 5SOS group!!!

that is not his cat

#pigeon #anon #that is his girlfriend's cat #i was saying this to crystal but if i was dating a famous guy #and he posted a photo of him w/ my cat #and people thought the cat was his #i would have a psychotic break #and then the people that kNOW it's his girlfriend's are BULLYING THE CAT???? #leave my man frankie alone rn before i start throwing punches #also show my man Nugget some respect here anon !!!! #more fics featuring Nugget and Frankie please and thank you #thank u cashton for dating cat ladies i appreciate u both

[littledrummeraussie]

Dad!SOS poly Cashton??? I’m in a baby mood. Making the baby, being pregnant, having a tiny infant, I’m not picky! Any of it!

This little blurb takes place in the All The Things We Dream About universe, somewhere in the future.

masterlist. | want to be added to my taglist? | Christmas Blurb Fest 2022 / I want a blurb too!

heart to heart. [poly!Cashton discussing becoming parents]

warnings: poly!relationship. discussion of having kids. a slightest bit of angst of not getting accepted being in this relationship.

word count: 1098

----------

“Hey, Cal… are you still up?”

You felt Ashton move next to you where you were cuddled into his side, trying not to jolt you awake as he faced your other boyfriend (husband, you reminded yourself – they were both your husbands now, even if legally it was not something you were able to do). Calum hummed behind your back, sitting on the edge of the mattress as he tossed his shirt into the hamper, pulling his legs up to slip under the covers. He settled against your back, arm curling around your waist to be close as well, head fitting above yours and resting on his pillow.

You let out a soft sound at finally being held by both of them, letting your body adjust to theirs on both sides of you, and was ready to fall back to sleep when Ashton spoke again.

“Everything’s okay?”

“Yeah, just… long conversation with my Mom,” Calum rubbed his eyes before looking back at Ashton. “Just the usual.”

“She’s still not letting go of the whole thing, eh?” Ash pushed himself up on his elbow, searching Calum’s features in the semi-darkness of the room.

“No, it’s… it’s not Y/N. Well, not entirely. It’s complicated.”

“Try me, I’m good at complicated things,” Ashton replied, motioning towards you and Calum then at himself, indicating the three-way relationship you were in for years now.

“She asked me about kids,” Cal finally answered, and you could feel both of their arms tightening around you for a second.

“What about kids?” Ashton asked again, his voice curious and maybe a bit unsure.

This was a topic that you did not touch on yet. Sure, you knew that along the way it would come up and you will need to discuss the fine details on how you want to approach the whole parenting thing, if you wanted kids at all, but all of you were still basking in the second honeymoon stage that came right after your so-called wedding at which all three of you promised forever to each other, even though for the outside world you were still considered as three people being in a consensual relationship with each other, nothing more. But kids – that would change a lot of things for sure.

“She asked me if we would ever consider becoming parents, and how we think it would work out. Wouldn’t it damage the kids for life, having two dads? Would they know who’s their dad? Who’s the impostor? What would happen if Y/N got pregnant by only one of us? How would the other feel? Or how would we know who’s the dad?”

“Would it really matter?”

Ashton’s voice was soft and that made Calum stop in his ramble. You could imagine him blinking rapidly as his best-friend-turned-lover-turned-husband, and you heard him let out a breath he was holding in, slumping back against the pillow again.

“Dunno. What do you think?” his fingers tangled with Ashton’s over your waist, squeezing each other’s hand.

“Do you want to have kids?” Ashton asked instead, his thumb caressing Calum’s hand.

“Eventually… but not right fucking now,” he sighed, some of his words getting muffled against the sheets. “I don’t feel ready. I’m still too young.”

“And how would it make you feel if I wanted to try for a baby with Y/N?”

You tried to stay as quiet and motionless as possible, waiting for Calum and Ashton to continue their discussion. Ashton’s words were playing over and over in your mind, and you were not alone with your fixation on what he’d said.

“I’ve thought you didn’t want kids, at all,” Calum questioned him, eyebrow probably cocked at the other man and it was Ashton’s turn to sigh, but it wasn’t his usual frustrated huff of breath, but more like a soft exhale that paired with love and affection as he continued to speak.

“It’s different with her. Different with you. I love you both and I feel secure in this relationship. I know we could provide all the love and attention and care a child would need. I want to have a family with the two of you, whenever and however it happens,” he added before moving closer to Calum, maneuvering around your sleeping form until he could press his lips against his forehead. “We’re not in a rush. If it needs to happen, it will happen. We don’t even know how Y/N feels about the whole thing.”

“She would be a great mom. And you would be a great dad, Ash. I would love that for you, more than anything,” Calum’s whispers were tickling your ear, their hands still squeezing each other.

“So you–”

“I wouldn’t mind you and Y/N trying for a baby if that’s what she wants too. I’m fine with wearing a condom and all, just to be sure. And who knows, maybe being Papa to a little one would make me want to have my own kid too,” Cal finally settled down again, his body slowly losing the tension it was holding.

“That means I would be Daddy?” Ashton snickered, and you could imagine Calum rolling his eyes at him, his little huffing laugh giving him away.

“You are already Daddy, you know that.”

They exchanged a few more words and a sweet little goodnight, both of them finding their own place next to you as they cuddled close. Calum’s light snores soon let you know that he fell asleep, but as you tried to follow his lead you felt Ashton pressing a kiss on your forehead, humming lightly as he traced the tip of his nose against yours.

“I know you’re not sleeping, Y/N,” he mumbled against your cheek, a smile pulling at the corner of his mouth as you blinked up at him, looking a little guilty. “Were you eavesdropping?”

“You weren’t quite subtle and quiet,” you squeezed your arm around his waist, pushing your face against the soft skin of his neck, inhaling his scent. “But I liked listening to you, I’m not gonna lie. I love how you love Calum and how you talked him through all of this.”

“And how do you feel about it all?” his fingers dived into your hair, playing with the strands, his voice once again turning soft and maybe a bit self-conscious. “About the whole kids thing?”

“That it’s definitely a discussion for when we’re all awake, officially,” you pressed your lips against the underside of his jaw, a smile in your voice. “But I do agree. You would be a great Daddy, and Calum would be the best Papa.”

----------

@mymindwide @fuckyeah5sostakemehome @suchalonelysunflower @talkfastromance4 @ashtonsunflower @in-superbloom @wiiildflowerrr @lovelywordsblog @heyitskelseaj

#ashton irwin #calum hood #ashton irwin x reader #calum hood x reader #cashton x reader #poly!cashton x reader #poly!cashton #cashton fic #fiction time #afic: all the things #series: all the things #christmas blurb fest 2022

[basslinecal]

"Can you come pick me up, please?"

a moodboard for my own fic, empty wallets

emotional hurt comfort + cashton

Calum loses his wallet amidst a stressful shopping trip, and has noone left to call except Ashton, the man he had only met for a few dates.

#5 seconds of summer #cashton #calum hood #ashton irwin #cashton fic #cashton hurt/comfort #moodboard #5sos edit #5sos moodboard #5sos aesthetic #ive run out of tags #and yes i made a mb for my own fic teehee #mine

[wildfl0wer-meg]

Tonight’s About You, Baby Boy - poly!cashton

i made a similar fic to this a while ago called “Secrets” and it’s poly!cake. I also wrote this months ago and it's just sat in my drafts. Anyway....

warnings: oral (male giving/ male receiving, afab receiving), m/m, m/nb. cursing, semi-public sexual situations, unprotected sex in a relationship, light power dynamics, nicotine use, mentions of smoking weed.

Calum Hood x Ashton Irwin x nb!OC

word count: 2.6k

————

Ashton’s eyes flash over to Calum for what seems like the thousandth time. Calum was lying back on the couch, his bass in hand as he lazily attempts to come up with his part for their newest WIP.

Ashton just couldn’t seem to focus on his work today. He wasn’t sure what it was but Calum was stealing all of his attention.

“Cal,” he calls over finally, his boyfriend looks at him questioningly, as does Luke and Michael. Ashton swallows trying to find what to say. “Uh— do you think you could help me with something real quick?” he asks, mouth going dry, and Calum raises an eyebrow, a playful smirk appearing on his lips.

“Sure,” Calum chuckles and sits up. Everyone looks at Ashton questioningly and he’s quick to figure himself out.

“It’s not related to the song, I just need to figure out what I’m doing for Eve for our anniversary coming up…” he says, “I have a couple ideas but can you help me real quick?”

Calum holds back a laugh, Ashton already had figured out what he was doing for his and Eve’s anniversary, him and Calum had stayed up all night a few weeks ago planning a short trip to the mountains, just the three of them, and they’d even went as far as to plan a fake trip for Calum so it wasn’t suspicious to anyone.

“Yeah but let’s not bother them,” Calum says and stands up, stretching his arms over his head and Ashton’s eyes flash to the section of Calum’s stomach and hip that’s revealed when his shirt rises.

Ashton leads the way out of the studio, Luke and Michael both awkwardly laughing in confusion as the two leave, and as soon as their out Calum turns to his boyfriend, eyes crinkling as he smiles.

“You’re so full of shit, you know that?“ he asks and leads them into the family bathroom, locking the door behind them.

“Im sorry but you just look so good today,” Ashton smirks, his hands gluing themselves to Calum’s arms that are exposed by his ripped muscle tee. Calum bites his lip and leans against the sink as Ashton pushes into him and connects their lips.

Their relationship had been official for almost a year. It started as a hookup, Ashton and his partner Eve had invited Calum over to hang out one night, as they did many times. After one too many drinks and some heavy flirting from the couple who (little to Calum’s knowledge) had discussed a threesome with Calum many times, Calum found himself in their bed, making out with both of them.

It took four more hookups for them to decide that they liked each other more than just friends with benefits and so their relationship began.

Calum’s hands sneak under Ashton’s shirt, holding onto his sides as he deepens the kiss and he lightly grinds up against his boyfriend who pulls away and smirks.

“How long do you think we have before they look for us?” Ashton asks, glancing at the closed door and Calum smiles, slowly sinking to his knees in front of him.

“Long enough for me to blow you,” he says, and Ashton lets out a shaky breath and switches their places so he can grip onto the sink for stability as Calum unzips his pants and pulls him out.

Calum quickly gets to work. His mouth wrapping around Ashton as he bobs his head and sucks lightly. He opens his eyes and looks up at the man who groans when he sees him.

Ashton reaches down to softly run his fingers through Calum’s hair, and when the man on his knees relaxes his throat to get Ashton down as far as he can, Ashton’s grip tightens as he lightly pulls and Calum moans, the vibrations rushing up Ashton.

“Cal–“ he moans, “I’m gonna…” He cuts himself off with a soft groan when Calum speeds up, wrapping his hand around the base of his older man’s cock as he focuses on the tip.

Ashton’s grip tightens once again when he releases, Head falling back and a groan leaving his mouth. Calum swallows his load and sits back his legs to catch his breath. Ashton does the same while leaning against the sink and when he finally recovers he reaches down to fix his boyfriend’s hair and help him up.

“You okay?” he asks, while pulling him in for a hug. Calum nods, leaning his head on Ashton’s shoulder for a moment before pulling away.

Ashton looks between them at Calum cock straining against his jeans and chuckles. “Want me to help?” he asks and Calum shakes his head,

“We need to get back in there,” he says, “Maybe you’ll be able to focus on the song now,” his teasing grin makes Ashton roll his eyes.

“I’ll make it up to you tonight, okay?” he cups Calum’s face and Calum smiles and nods, he knows Ashton means it, and he also knows that means Eve will be there as well.

Ashton goes back first. “Calum stopped at the restroom,” he says and sits back down.

“Did you figure out the present?” Luke asks and Ashton nods,

“Yeah, I think i’m taking them on a trip,” Ashton says, “Now i just need to figure out when,”

Calum walks back in, sending Ashton a teasing grin before he sits down,

“Cal said he’s planning on going on a small trip the week of our anniversary so we might go then so that’s only a week we’re not all together,”

Luke and Michael both nod in agreement and the room goes back to silence, the only noise being their instruments and Luke’s occasional hum.

——

Calum walks into the house first. He rubs his face as he enters, a smile filling his face when Duke runs over to him. “hey bubba,” he smiles and falls to his knees to pet his dog.

Eve hears the door open and hurries down the stairs to find their boyfriends. “hey!” they smile and Calum stands up to catch them in a hug.

“You have a long day today?” Eve asks and Calum nods with a small chuckle.

“Ask our boyfriend what we did today,” he says and as if on cue, Ashton walks in. Eve looks at their other boyfriend who raises an eyebrow,

“What?” he asks, eyes flashing to Calum, and Calum smirks.

“What did you guys do today?” Eve asks, completely lost as their boyfriends exchange a look and the tension in the room builds.

“Ash was being horny all day,” Calum chuckles, “made up an excuse for us to leave the studio so i could blow him,”

Eve laughs, looking at Ashton who just smiles at the acquisition and surrenders his hands in the air.

“I mean look at him,” he motions to Calum, “how am i supposed to focus on my work when this fucking god is sitting next to me,”

Calum blushes, and Eve just giggles. “So did you return the favor, Ash?” they ask and Ashton smirks,

“No, i was wanting some help with that,” he walks past his partners and into the kitchen where he gets a cup of water. Caulk steps back to admire Eve.

They were only wearing one of Calum’s oversized shirts, and he would bet on them not wearing shorts under it, they never were. His hand find their waist and they take a breath.

“You’re gonna be good for me?” he asks but it’s more of a command, Eve nods, eyes wide and innocent. Ashton watches them, and finally speaks up when they just stare at each other for a moment too long.

“What do you want, Cal?” he asks from across the room, and the man swallows as he processes the question in his head. His eyes flash to Ashton as he licks his lips.

“I wanna go to our room,” he says and Ashton nods, motioning for him to go, which he does after grabbing Eve’s hand to drag them along.

Ashton’s always in charge, even if he’s not actively taking part in the moment. Calum doesn’t always admit it, matter of fact it’s one of the biggest things him and Ashton tease each other over, but when it comes down to it, Calum needs Ashton to lead him and Ashton is happy to do it.

Ashton follows them upstairs and smiles when he sees Calum with Eve pinned under him. His lips are on their neck and their eyes are closed as Calum leaves a few marks.

Ashton watches them as he sheds his shirt and climbs onto the bed. He sits up on his knees and lets his hand wander under Calum’s shirt. he gently scrapes his nails on the man’s hot skin and Calum slowly sits up, letting Ashton take off his shirt before connecting their lips.

Eve opens their eyes to watch their boyfriends slowly make out. Ashton’s hand goes down Calum’s pants and gropes him, making the younger man moan into his mouth.

“Tonight’s all about you, baby boy,” Ashton says as he pulls away. Calum would normally pretend to hate the pet name, but he doesn’t fight it as he turns back to Eve and tug at their shirt before helping them sit up and take it off.

His eyes fall to look at the skinny silver bars going through their nipples, he bites his lips, that’s one thing he’ll never get tired of seeing.

His hands slowly trail down their body until they reach the band of their panties and he slowly takes them off, sliding them down their legs before getting between them. He smirks up at them after kissing their thighs, lips ghosting over where they need him the most.

Calum’s knows he’s good with his mouth. No matter what he knows that he can never let anyone down with head, and it’s just a bonus that he enjoys it.

Ashton sits back to watch as Calum dives in. Eve’s head rolls back and they moan out, hand shooting to the man’s hair.

After a moment they open their eyes and they make contact with Ashton who palms himself through his pants. “Tell Calum that he’s making you feel good,” Ashton demands, and Calum looks up at Eve as he slows.

“Fuck Cal,” Eve moans, “You feel so good, i’m gonna cum,”

Calum smirks as pulls up for just long enough to mumble, “want you to come on my tongue,” and he goes back in.

It’s not long before they are. They let out a loud moan of Calum’s name as they cum, eyes squeezing shut and toes curling. Calum continues to eat them out, waiting until they’re flinching at his touch before pulling away.

He sits up, out of breath and Ashton connects their lips again. He moans at the taste of Eve in Calum’s lips and reaches down to slowly stroke Calum.

“How do you want to get off?” he asks, and Calum glances at Eve.

“Can you handle me fucking you, baby?” he asks, and Eve nods quickly, eyes desperate.

“Please,” they beg and Calum turns to Ashton.

“Can i help you out?” he asks and Ashton rolls his eyes,

“Stop worrying about me,” he chuckles, “i what to see you cum in them,”

Ashton doesn’t have to ask twice and Calum is stripping off his pants and lining himself up with Eve, slowly pushing in.

Ashton takes off his own pants before stroking himself. He paces himself at Calum’s speed as he watches.

Calum moans when Eve tightens around him as he bottoms out. He leans forward, keeping himself propped up with his hands on either side of his partner. He connects their lips, taking advantage of their moans to explore they’re mouth. He doesn’t take long to feel his climax nearing and he quickens his pace.

“–gonna,” he’s cut off by his own pants and soon his releasing into Eve. He rests his head on their chest as he stills, breaths heavy as he recovers for a moment before pulling out.

Calum falls to the side just in time to watch Ashton cum into his hand and he smiles goofily.

Eve rolls over to cuddle into their boyfriend and Calum happily pulls them into his chest. Ashton goes into the connected bathroom and come back with a couple wash cloths for them to clean up.

“I need a smoke,” Calum mumbles to his partners after he’s cleaned up and puts on a pair of pajama pants,

He reaches into his jeans from earlier to pull out his pack of cigarettes and lighter. Ashton kisses his forehead as he passes by. “I can start on dinner,” he says and Eve lies in bed watching them.

“I’ll find a movie?” they suggest and Calum smirks,

“Pack a blunt for us?” he asks and they happily nod watching as their boyfriends leave the room.

Calum walks outside to the front porch and sits on the steps before lighting the smoke. He breathes in the nicotine and closes his eyes to enjoy the burn in his lungs.

“Calum?” the voice snaps him out of his head and he opens his eyes to see Michael. The blond haired man looks at him confused.

“Why’re you here?” he asks and Calum stutters,

“Uh– I’m just– Um Ash invited me over to go over a few other things,” he curses himself for the poor excuse as he stares at his friend. He takes a moment to look down at himself. His shirtless chest, and baggy pajamas pants, it’s obvious he’s not just hanging out.

Michael just stares at him, “What?” he asks as if he didn’t hear what he said and the front door opens, Ashton walking out looking in the same condition as Calum.

“Babe–“ Ashton starts but he freezes when he sees Michael and his heart drops.

His eyes flash to his boyfriend who looks like he’s about to cry as his cigarette burns out in his hand.

“What is happening?” Michael asks and Ashton sighs, opening the door wider,

“Just come in,” he says, defeated and Calum stands up as well, putting out his cigarette he barely smoke to follow them inside.

Eve is on the couch, a mango zipzag in hand doing as they were told. Their eyes go wide when they see Michael and quickly grabs the blanket on the back on the couch to make sure they’re covered since they’re only wearing Ashton’s shirt he had on earlier.

“You guys are having a smoke session together?” Michael asks confused and Calum bites his lips trying to figure out if they should lie or not as he glances over at Ashton,

“Maybe we should call Luke?” Ashton suggest and Michael nods his head slowly as he tries to connect the dots.

——

“A year!?” Luke shouts and Calum chuckles awkwardly, “You’ve hid this for a year? Did you think we’d be mad?”

“We didn’t want you to think it’d affect the band,” Ashton tries to explain. Michael’s eyes bounce between the three of them before he shakes his head,

“How did you manage to keep it secret?” he asks finally,

“Lots of make out sessions in bathrooms,” Calum says and Ashton elbows him as the younger man laughs.

Michael raises an eyebrow, “So today….” he trails off and Ashton nods,

“Yeah…” he chuckles awkwardly.

“I wish you would of told us!” Luke sighs, “We’ve been teasing Calum for months when he shows up late with new hickies and sex hair, we would’ve made fun of you too if we knew you were part of that,”

Ashton rolls his eyes and glances at his boyfriend. Michael shakes his head in disbelief. “I’m happy for you,” he finally says and Luke nods in agreement.

They share a laugh before silence falls between them so they can take in the information.

“Wait,” Luke says, “Wildflower about this fucker?” he motions to Ashton and Calum’s cheeks turn red as he looks away.

“Oh my god!” Michael yells and they laugh harder as they continue to connect the dots for their relationship and how they’ve hid it for a year.

————

A/N:

hi, i’m back

i’ve fell back into my 5sos phase for the 5835295th time

anyways send me requests and maybe i’ll get around to them sometime :)

#so queuet #5sos #ashton irwin #cashton #calum hood #bi!cashton #bi!calum #bi!ashton #5sos pride #calum fic #calum hood fic #ashton fic #ashton irwin fic #calum hood x ashton irwin #poly!cashton #nb!character #ashton irwin x nb!character #calum hood x nb!character #wildfl0wer meg writes

[calumsash]

fic moodboard inspired by loaf love by @daydadahlias

Ashton and Calum cat-sit for a weekend.

#as i have over 40 cashton fics now open to reread this means mbs #read this cute little one again and my heart grew three sizes #also!! im in this fic!! my name is in it!!!!! how cool is that!!! #like many times jess indulged me this is one of them and she wrote this fic and i can't thank them enough <3 #so here's my humble mb #searching for pictures of ashton with his shoulder exposed was so difficult how am i supposed to live laugh love in these conditions #up there is calum very fond of seeing chubby kneading ashton he can't believe what he's seeing #got the yummy cinnamon bread and some relevant sappy quotes for them #i also looked at so many pictures of orange tubbies i turned into the 🥺 emoji #well anyway this is a lovely fic that i love and thank u jess for writing it and i hope u like this little thing it's for u <3 #disclaimer: this is not the real chubby these are paid actors i found on pinterest #fic moodboard #cashton fic

[33-81]

#calum hood #calum smut #calum fic #calum 5sos #calum hood x reader #cashton #calum 5sauce #calumthomashood #calum 5 seconds of summer #5sos #5sos smut #5sosfam #ashton 5sos #ashton irwin #luke 5sos #5sos imagine #5sos5 is coming #take my hand tour #complete mess #me myself and i #5 secs of summer #5 seconds of summer #5sos fanfic #5sos x reader #5sos5 #mikey 5sos #micheal clifford #luke hemmings #ashtonirwinplaysthedrums

[burstingsunrise]

so as one of my favorite fic authors, i trust your taste very very much and i have to ask - do you have any fic recs? like, give me your all time favorites. thank you in advance <3

first of all thank you! <3 and also, oooh it's been a minute since i've been asked for recs and i am happy to provide some of my faves! i mainly read cake these days so these are mostly going to be cake, but there's some other stuff sprinkled in too. 

this accidentally kinda became a list of writers since these writers are responsible for most of my favorite fics, but i did try to narrow it down to my absolute favorites to honor your actual question. 

anything by @kaleidoscopeminds (ao3) but especially:

and what if you’d never smiled at me (cake / t / 14.9k)  ​

talk to me, baby (cake / e / 17.8k)

walmart sonata (cake / m / 33.5k)

anything by @daydadahlias (ao3) but especially:

ask for more series (cake / e / 38.8k)

take notes (cake / e / 78.9k)

original orpheus (lashton / e / 14.2k)

anything by @clumsyclifford (ao3) but especially: 

a change of heart and a silver lining (cake / t / 18k)

we’ve got flames in our veins (cake / t / 3.9k)

anything by @lifewasradical (ao3) but especially:

i lied to you like a promise on new year’s day (cake / m / 27.1k)

hiding in the seams (cake / t / 21.2k)

anything by @ashtcnirwin (ao3) but especially:

tidal wave (lashton / e / 127.2k)

anything by @cringeycal (ao3) but especially:

lake effect kids (cake / t / 10.8k)

anything by @calumcest (ao3) but especially:

if these walls could talk (they’ve seen way too many things) (lashton / t / 26.1k)

these two orphaned fics i’m convinced were written by the same person:

take the pieces, build them skywards (cake / e / 24.6k)

when did the diamonds leave your bones (lashton / e / 41.2k)

also, to satisfy my undercover muke stan agenda:

city lights by onlythevoid (muke / e / 79.9k)

over break by @daydadahlias (muke / t / 16.2k)

#there aren't really any older fics on here #largely because there aren't that many that have stuck with me in a meaningful way #and the few that have i wouldn't necessarily consider favorites #largely because i just prefer the vibes of stories based more closely on their current existence and vibes #also i have read sooo little cashton/malum/mashton BUT #several of these writers have fics with those pairings that i'm sure are incredible! #i really hope all these links are correct pls universe help me out here #ask #anon #fic recs #5sos fic #cake fic #lashton fic #muke fic

[csashton]

Does He Know? - LH x (fem)Reader

Summary: reader and lewis had a relationship, she has a baby - he finds out.

Pairing: Lewis Hamilton/(fem)Reader

Warnings: mentions of pregnancy, childbirth, babies

Word count: 2171

my master list 🖤

“Does he know about the baby?”

“Why would he?” You mutter into the phone as you get her bottle ready. “It’s not like he answered any of my phone calls, texts or even emails after I found out I was pregnant.”

A sad sigh answers you,  she had heard this argument throughout your pregnancy. It wasn't any different now that she was born.

“Babe, you need to tell him. She’s five months old already, you can’t avoid it forever.” You can’t stop the eye-roll that follows, plopping down on the couch to feed your baby girl. “The most he’ll do is pay child support, I've got a wonderful job. I don't want or need his money. He doesn’t want a baby, Em. You’ve seen his instagram - he’s out living his life. He’s got another world championship to win.”

“You either tell him, or it’s going to get leaked to the press the first time you go out. Is that how you want him to find out?” She argues, “Look I have to go back to work, but let me know if you need anything. Please talk to him. I love you.”

Before you can even respond, the dial tone meets your ear. “Viv, she doesn’t understand, does she?” you question, tossing your phone to the side as you look down at the sleepy baby in your arms.

Fifteen months ago you’d called off your three-year relationship with Lewis. It was rocky for the last few months until you decided to call it quits. He wanted to focus on racing, you wanted to focus on building your life and family together. It hurt for a while, but you realized that you both were at very different points in your life. You had different priorities. 

It was pretty cliche how you got pregnant. You had spent one last night with him, the night before the movers were scheduled to show up. The shared apartment scattered in boxes full of memories of the last few years. Six weeks later you were frantic, calling your best friend Em saying you hadn’t gotten your period. After many positive tests and mental breakdowns, you were sure you were pregnant, single, and on your own. Em tried back in the early days, every day, to convince you to tell Lewis. It didn’t feel like the right thing to do. You’d sent him a few messages to let him know you needed to talk, but he wasn’t interested. After a few weeks, you gave up, not wanting to distract him from all his preparations for the upcoming season.

The last you heard from him was when he posted an Instagram story, asking everyone to give you privacy during the breakup. It made you going off of social media for the entirety of your pregnancy so much easier. No one questioned you or why you were gone.

Toward the end of your pregnancy, you’d sent Em to pick up groceries or had them delivered. You didn’t want to risk going out in public, your relationship with Lewis had been very public. The last thing you needed was for it to get leaked.

The weather was beautiful in Monaco. Once Vivian had finished her bottle, you strapped her into her wearable carrier. A floppy sun hat and some comfy shoes later - you were stepping out the door to soak in the sunshine. After a few hours of walking around down by the water, and a quick stop at your favorite cafe, you were headed home. As you made your way back inside, you see a thread of texts from Em and a few missed calls.

“WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?”

“SERIOUSLY - ANSWER ME?”

“Oh my god this is such a mess, holy shit. Look at this.”

You lay Vivian on her playmat and click on the link as you sit down next to her. The bold tabloid title of “Lewis Hamilton’s EX  -  Baby Hamilton?” with a picture of you and Viv strapped to your chest down by the water. 

The feeling of your heart dropping to the floor is the first thing you notice, the second is a wave of nausea. You were sure the floppy hat and sunglasses would be enough to deter them. They hadn’t found you when you first moved here, how did they find you now?

“Oh fuck, oh fuck.” your voice cracks as you text her back.

“Em, I was wearing a hat and sunglasses, they’ve not found me before. How’d they find me now? Oh god, I’m SO fucked.”

After a few minutes, which feel like hours, your phone starts to ring with Em’s face popping up. You’ve got tears in your eyes when you answer.

“Oh god, Em. What am I going to do?” You ask as you watch her face morph into sadness, then into a guilty look. “Listen, babe. Please don’t be mad.” Her voice is wobbly as she speaks, and you can see that she’s in the bathroom at work.

“Em, please tell me you didn’t plan this?” Your voice is hoarse as you lean back against the couch, putting your free hand on your forehead. “Oh my god, no. I wouldn’t do that to you. I would never do that to Viv.” Her voice is laced with anger for a moment and you hear her take a deep breath. “Lewis called me, said you still had him blocked. I gave him our address.” She speaks so rapidly that it takes you a minute to realize what she’s said.

“You did what?” The level of your voice startles Vivian, who starts crying. “God, please don’t hate me. He was panicking, and he’s in town. His PR sent him the post. They’re scrambling.” she explains. You groan, tipping your head back onto the couch. “I hate you, Em. So much.” you grumbled, “But I also love you, and I know you’re trying to do what’s best.”

When you look back at the phone, she’s giving you a watery smile. “I love you too, and baby Viv. I’ll see you when I get home, and I’m sorry.” You give her a soft smile before you hang up, tossing your phone onto the couch to pick up Vivian to console her. It takes longer than it should, but you finally get her settled and asleep against your chest. You’re surprised the rapid beating of your heart doesn’t wake her.

Now you’re stuck, waiting for Lewis and probably his whole PR team to show up at your door to tell you how stupid you are. The clock on the wall ticks by slowly, until an hour later when a knock sounds at the door. Vivan shifts against your chest, settling back as you stand to walk to the door.

“Uh, hey.” You whisper as you pull the door open, your eyes trained away from his face as your heart climbs to your throat. “Come in.” you add on when he doesn’t respond, but you can feel the anger radiating off his body. He's pacing the living area when you turn around, his hands on his head.

“Is she mine?” His voice is raw when he speaks, not bothering to look at you. “Yeah, her name is Vivian. She’s five months old.” you answer, cradling her head to your chest with your hand as you rock back and forth to keep her asleep. “You went through a whole pregnancy and birth...” he starts, cutting himself off as he paces again. He's still pacing as you walk by, taking a seat on the couch. “You had a whole pregnancy and birth, and hid it from me?” he asks, eyes shining as he turns to look at you. Your heart breaks in your chest as you stare back at him.

“Only Em knew.” you admit, “Not even my parents until her birth, my mom was with me at the hospital. I stayed off social media, stayed out of the public eye.” You’re not even sure he’s heard you with how quiet you were.

“I’m her father, and you didn’t think to tell me?” his voice raises which causes Vivian to stir.

“Look, Lewis. We’d broken up. You told me you weren’t ready for a family with me, you wanted to focus on winning another title. What was I supposed to do?” you stressed, “I tried calling and texting in the beginning, I told you we needed to talk. You ignored me.” your voice was bitter when you spoke, eyes narrowed. “Then the season started. I wasn’t about to distract you, I know how important your focus was. What were you going to do? Give it all up to come play father?”

You watched as he pressed his lips in a thin line and started pacing again, his hands were shaking at his sides. “I deserved to know. I could’ve helped you, I could’ve been there for you.”

You shrugged, “I’ve been fine on my own. She’s been fine. I can pay my bills and care for her, that’s all I care about. She’s my whole world.” He stops pacing to stare at you for a moment, then moves to sit on the couch with you.

“But you don’t have to do it alone, you shouldn’t have to do it alone.” he breathes out, rubbing his face with his hands. “Why now? Why wait until now to do this?” he asks, resting his face in his hands.

“I didn’t plan this, if that’s what you’re asking.” you bite out at him,

"I went out for a walk today, I figured my sunglasses and hat would be fine. When I moved here no one found me, so I thought I’d be safe.” you explain, leaning back to close your eyes. “But I guess not, and now I’ve fucked up your focus for the season. I’m sure this is a PR nightmare too - I’m so sorry Lewis.”

He sits quietly for a long while, you’re not sure how long but it feels like hours. You hear him let out a breath before he pats his hand on your knee, resting it there. “What’s her name?” he asks, his voice softer than you’d ever heard it. His hand comes up to trace across her back. “Vivian.” you whisper, pulling her off your chest so he can take a look at her. “She’s got your eyes, and nose.”

“She’s beautiful.” His voice is teary, and his hand trembles as he reaches out to touch her cheek. “Do you want to hold her?” you ask, nervous that he’ll avoid it.

His head snaps up to look at you before he looks back down at Viv, who’s squirming in your arms. He nods, leaning back on the couch so you can place her into his arms. She settles with her face resting against his chest, a quick snuffle coming from her before she’s out again. You watch him for a few minutes before you decide to get up and make her next bottle. “Do you want me to take a picture?” you question, he doesn’t even look up from her face as he hands you his phone. After you snap a few pictures, you hand it back and sit on the couch.

“So what does this mean?” Even you can hear the nerves in your voice as you ask, bringing your thumb up to bite at the nail. He sighs, stroking his finger down her cheek as he thinks. “I want to be involved, if that’s what you’re asking. I’ve already missed so much.” You smile sadly at him, nodding.

“I’m sorry, Lewis.” He shrugs gently so as to not disturb her. “I get why you did it, you were doing what’s best for you and Viv. Also what you thought was best for me, even if you were wrong.” The bitter and angry tone left his voice. “I can fly you out when I want to see her, and I’ll help pay for her things. We can work on our relationship, if we’re going to co-parent we need to be able to communicate.”

It took a lot of trial and error, but two months later the two of you were easily communicating and co-parenting. You were getting along better than before, better than the last few months of your relationship even. He’d posted the pictures on instagram about a month after he met her, sending the internet into a frenzy. You’d stayed off social media for your own sanity and according to Em, you’d made the right decision. 

Lewis had been wonderful, it took him a while to come to terms with everything. But after that, he was sending bouquets of flowers weekly for “his girls”. He’d made a statement in one of his post race interviews that he would not be speaking about his family, or his daughter. He was doing his best to protect your privacy, and you were greatly appreciative. It really seemed like things were getting better. 

Maybe someday you’d be together again, but for now, this was perfect. 

#csashtonwrites #cashton #lewis hamilton #lewis hamilton fanfic #f1 fic #f1 blurb #f1 #formula 1 blurb