legit confused with how battinson would hold up with his soon to be extended family. in the dc comics we see his kids constantly clown on him cause they know he can take it. jason constantly waving his death certificate over bruce’s face? no biggie, he signed that himself. dick getting into an argument with him and calling him every scalding name in the book? bruce cursed like a sailor and probably taught him those. cass retreating into a blanket fort and refusing to speak with him? he’ll wait outside until she cools down to apologize.
but battinson? the man is one minor inconvenience away from a total breakdown all the time. his self esteem is in the dirt, he can’t look anyone in the eye, he doesn’t even know what he’s doing. so imagine his kids trying to assure him he’s doing a great job and him just curled up on the ground.
jason: b, it’s okay. sure i died but now i’m even beefier than you and the government won’t try to make me pay taxes :D
bruce: u have ptsd
jason: so does literally everyone else in this family
steph: wow u know i love your hair how is it holding its shape so well
bruce: i haven’t showered in 8 days
damian: father someone at the gala was looking at your behind and making lewd comments so i removed their eyes for you
damian: because i care about you
dick: u know dami maybe some things are better left unsaid
damian: you are absolutely right grayson, how dare i voice my affection verbally. i’m getting soft. father, take these eyeballs and get out of my sight
Broke: Tim Drake is the smartest Batfam member
Woke: everyone says Tim is the smartest because no one can understand what he's saying (not even Cass or Bruce) and once they meet Bernard ("Batman is part of the shadow government") Dowd who CAN understand Tim they realize Tim is just straight up nuts
Since the Batkids being overprotective has been a topic recently, what do you think each Batkids technique for keeping unwelcome attention away from Bruce is?
Dick: Become the focus of all the attention. All the attention.
Jason: Find the little old ladies who Bruce can’t get away from without being rude (they’re all in on it btw)
Cass: Stand there with the sweetest, most innocent look on her face, and any time anyone makes an innuendo ask for a detailed explanation
Tim: Insert himself into the conversation and bring up the most boring topic possible until they go away
Duke: Look suitably horrified anytime anyone flirts with Bruce
Damian: Require his father’s attention and, when Bruce’s face is turned, smile ferally at the other person and let them see he has a sword
bruce at the dining room table drinking coffee out of his “world’s okayest father” mug sitting next to dick drinking coffee out of his “world’s best big brother” mug. both were purchased by the rest of the bat siblings as christmas presents that year. dick is not smug. not at all.
Cass: It's the inside that matters, not outside
Damian: Really? Give me an example
Damian: Makes sense
I’ve just learned of the Cryptid Batman tag and in honor of that I have some thoughts....
Batman intentionally makes himself as cryptidish as possible, he has mechanisms in his suit to allow for this. He enjoys it. He uses it to make more fear. It goes really well for him.
Except then he gets a child, many children. He doesn’t want to scare them! He also doesn’t want to embarrass them! So he just like doesn’t do his whole cryptid persona in front of them. He teaches them how to disappear and such so he doesn’t totally give away his thing, but he only goes Full Cryptid when they aren’t near him. It gets to the point that Gotham truly believes he’s some sort of animal, who only becomes more stable and human like when bound to a Robin (which isn’t far off really).
And like I said, his kids don’t know about it. Gothamites or the Justice League will bring it up and they’re like “Aren’t you being a little extreme?? He’s just a little goth man?” To which everyone else just doesn’t understand how they’re unafraid and all.
He tries to do this with Red Hood. They whole shebang. I’m talking smoke, lengthening claws and jowls from mechanisms in the suit. He’s all ready to put the fear of god in this villain when the man starts wheezing.
Red Hood: *absolutely dying* D-dad what the fuck? Have you been doing this the whole time??
Red Hood: *reveals himself* this makes so much more sense, you actually make yourself a Cryptid? You fucking dramatic theatre goth!
Batman: *embarrassed and surprised* Jason?!?
Red Hood: *still laughing*
Batman: *pouting* it’s not that funny.
Red Hood: I’m still mad that you didn’t kill the joker for me, but I am willing to come home under one condition
Batman: *suspicious but wants him home* what?
Red Hood: I get to be a Cryptid too! I want all the same equipment
Batman: *happy bat noises*
Batman: you’re not gonna tell your siblings this right?
Red Hood: fuck no, I’m not gonna ruin this!
Alfred: How would you like your haircut?
Cassandra: Preferably with scissors, but a sword would be badass.
Batfamily characters for Artbreeder
Personajes de la Batfamily por Artbreeder
Selina Kyle (Sí, la pongo aquí porque para mi ella es la mamá de todos los niños de Bruce y la dueña del corazón de Bruce así que es parte de la Batfamily)
No sé porque pero me causa placer visual ver cómo serían en la vida real.
I don't know why but it gives me visual pleasure to see how they would be in real life.
i think the concept of the batfam being billionaires legit screwed any of the writers who wanted to write any of them as like… ordinary ppl or vigilante formula in the future.....
Tim: Oh, by the way... wait, that's not relevant to you. Why do I say things?
Cass: Sometimes, it's fun to say things.
“I’m not Bruce Wayne” 😭 it’s not like he wouldn’t buy you a new one Dick. And the chicken whizzes 😭
Also this is starting to feel like Z’s second arc but I’m happy the gangs all back together
Cass can get a redraw as a treat :j
Redraw of this
little bit o figure practice with the batkids
Bruce: *messing around at a gala as a child, pushes into an old scary lady*
Lady: *scowling* I hope you get a child exactly like you.
Dick: *stubborn with anger issues*
Bruce: oh no
Jason: I hate you! You’re not my dad
Bruce: *remembering all the times he yelled that at alfred* oh nooo
Tim: *stays up for days obsessing over cases, drinks coffee like it’s disappearing tomorrow*
Bruce: *quietly moved away his files and mugs* oh nooooo
Cass: *charges into a death match to become the best fighter she can*
Bruce: *remembering every training he did before Batman* ....pleaseeee
Damian: I hate school! I don’t need it *gets expelled from every school he goes to*
Bruce: *remembers EXACTLY how many times he got expelled and for why* ....fuck
Bruce: *stared at Duke and Steph*
Cass is too funny
“ You were Batgirl. You suck.”
( Batgirl secret files and origins)
"Oh, hey dude, how's it going?" "Good, good, you?" "Great, I'm good, I'm good" *leaves* "I have no idea who that man is"
"This is my father, my brother, my other brother, my sister, my newest brother, my other brother, and the leech"
"We are friendly acquaintances," "they are best friends"
I really miss how they were teasing the concept of Damian being a Cassandra’s fanboy in pre-N52 (mind you this is 2009‘s Damian, back then he didn’t respect anyone) and how even though he was kinda of brat when he did met her, it mostly came from him thinking he needs to act tough around her to impress her rather than him not liking her
Buckle up besties! It's time for a BatFam info dump!
There is literally 80 years of content, so I'll try to keep this as concise and relevant as I can.
Alfred Pennyworth - certified badass and the unofficial patriarch the glue that holds the family together tbh. In most comics he and Bruce's father were in the military together. He's also usually MI-6 or some other kind of former secret militia and usually the first person to teach Bruce to fight
Bruce Wayne/The Batman - orphaned at a young age (it varies in the comics but typically 8-10). He's usually written as a slightly eccentric, billionaire-playboy-philanthropist who shows up to events for five minutes and then dips. The age that he first becomes Batman varies a lot as well. In Year One he's 25-26, but it's been written as early as 19 and as late as 30.
Richard "Dick" Grayson/Robin #1/Nightwing - The first son. Also orphaned around 8-10 when his parents fell to their deaths during their circus act - The Flying Graysons. Their nets were tampered with by one Tony Zucco. 10-year old Dickie bird swears his vengeance. It's usually about a year into being Bruce's ward that he actually becomes Robin. There's a great line in the Young Justice cartoon where Diana (wonder woman) asks if Bruce took Dick in and trained him so that he'd turn out like him and Bruce says, "No. I did it so that he wouldn't" and I think that says a lot about Bruce as a father (even if its only canon in the YJ universe)
Barbara Gordon/Batgirl/Oracle - daughter of everyone's fave police comish, James Gordon. Certified badass. Kicks ass even after the Joker paralyzes her. She's typically written around Dick's age but there's a timeline we don't talk about where she dates Bruce
Jason Todd/Robin #2/Red Hood - MY PRECIOUS LIL RAGE BABY AND I WILL NEVER FORGIVE THE FANS FROM THE 80S WHO VOTED FOR HIM TO BE KILLED ehem. I have a lot of feelings about Jason Todd. Bruce took him in after he caught the lil bastard trying to jack the wheels from the batmobile. Yes. You did read that correctly. In the 80s comics runs fans literally voted for him to be killed off. He dies at the Joker's hand and is later brought back to life by Thalia Al-Ghul (the worst) using what's called the Lazarus Pit. After he comes back he becomes the Red Hood.
Timothy "Tim" Drake-Wayne/Robin #3/Red Robin - certified genius and youngest ever CEO of Wayne Enterprises. Arguablya better detective than THE BATMAN. Bruce is like, hella depressed and guilty after Jason's death. Tim figures out that Bruce is Batman and convinces him he needs a Robin and to take him on. His bio dad is a criminal and eventually dies and Tim is officially adopted by Bruce!!! I think it's when Damien comes around that he becomes Red Robin but fr I don't remember
Stephanie Brown/Spoiler/Batgirl #2/Robin #4 - She was Robin and then Batgirl and then Spoiler. I think that's the right order? Her dad is Cluemaster (a villain similar to but not Riddler). She refuses to let Bruce adopt her, but she and Tim do date for a while. Both characters recently came out as bi!!! We love representation in this house.
Kate Kane/Batwoman - THIS IS BRUCE'S LITERAL MATERNAL COUSIN AND ALSO SHE IS A BUTCH LESBIAN SHE IS NOT HIS WIFE. Certified badass.
Cassandra Cain/Batgirl #3/Orphan - precious little angel baby. Also arguably the most terrifying person in Gotham who is not the Batman. Her bio mom is THE Lady Shiva. In some comics she's mute and communicates with sign language (again we live for the representation)
Damian Wayne-Al-Ghul/Robin #5 - Demon Spawn. The Robin with a sword. He is actually Bruce's biological child via date [email protected]
by my least favorite ever, Thalia Al-Ghul (she might be the worst and I do love to hate her, but she is actually a decent mother to Dami). Due to spending the first 8-10 years of his life being sheltered by his mother in a literal cult of assassins, he lacks social skills and is kind of a little shit. When Dick serves as Batman, Damian is his Robin.
Lucas "Luke" Fox/Batwing - son of sitting CEO of Wayne Enterprises and long time friend of the Waynes, Lucius Fox. Tbh I don't know much about Batwing.
Duke Thomas/Robin #6(?)/The Signal - I know he's adopted by Bruce but again idk much about him.
I think that's everyone, but if someone is missing PLEASE feel free to add them