He comes to the manor to get patched up and to do laundry
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Batfam Workout Outfits
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Batman #99 (2020)
pencil & ink by Jorge Jiménez
color by Tomeu Morey
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Batman works alone
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The Waynes Carve Pumpkins Pt 2.
Dick, putting newspaper and pumpkins on the table: Okay, now that we’ve learned the dangers of paint brushes we can move on to actually carving pumpkins!
Dick starts laying out carving knives.
Bruce: This is a bad idea.
Dick glaring at Bruce: We are all trained vigilante’s B, it’ll be fine. Now let’s get started!
Everyone sits down in front of a pumpkin, they stare at their pumpkins.
Dick: So, uh, let’s start carving?
Damian: How do we begin?
Jason, rolling his eyes: It’s easy, we just… uh, um, we… What do we do Dickface?
Dick: Um, I, I don’t know? Tim?
Tim, looking shocked: Why are you asking me?! Ask Steph she had parents!
Steph: My mom was always busy at the hospital and my dad was a villain, we didn’t really carve pumpkins? And Tim, you had parents! You should know!
Tim: My parents were horribly neglectful, we didn’t carve pumpkins. Dick? You had loving parents.
Dick: We traveled a lot and didn’t really have a great place to keep a carved pumpkin. Actually, we, uh, we painted ours…
Bruce: I thought you said painting was pumpkins was lame?!
Dick: It’s lame that you don’t trust you children with knives. Now shush, and teach us how to carve pumpkins.
Bruce: I didn’t carve pumpkins as a child.
Dick: …of course you didn’t. Does anyone know how to carve a pumpkin?
Jason: Abusive dad, addict mom, then homeless.
Damian: I was raised by assassins.
Cass, signing: *no childhood, also raised by assassins*
Tim: What about Babs, or Duke? They both had good childhoods. Well Babs had a good childhood and Duke had a decent childhood, until the whole parents driven insane thing.
Dick: Good idea Tim! Babs?
Babs: I am not teaching you guys to carve pumpkins. Also I don’t like touching the inside part. It’s slimy.
Dick, shrugs: Fine, Duke? Wait, where’s Duke?
Bruce: Spending the day with his uncle. We shouldn’t interrupt their bonding for something as menial as pumpkin carving, we…
Bruce looks at his disappointed kids, and sighs.
Bruce: I’ll text him.
<- Part 1 |
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Tim, on the *good stuff* post injury: And… and… Bruce is a DUMB FACE.
Steph: This is the best day of my life.
Jason: Honestly, same.
Jason: Please tell me someone is recording this.
Cass, phone in hand: Duh.
Tim: And Jason is the best and the smartest and I love him.
Steph & Cass: Awwww.
Tim, oblivious to the world around him: And he has a helmet and that makes him the smartest and Alfred said so too.
Steph: Hey Tim? Who’s your favorite?
Tim: I like cats…
Tim: Sometimes I think Damian is a cat.
Tim: Do you think Ra’s knows if Damian is a cat?
Tim: Hang on, I need to text him.
Jason: Oh, I got this Timbo. *smiles with unholy glee*
Steph: Does Bruce know you two text the leader of the League of Assassins on a regular basis?
Tim: Ra’s doesn’t like it when Jason texts him so I keep giving Jason his number.
Tim: Jason is the best.
Cass, amused: So you’ve said.
Tim: I think all of my friends have died.
Steph: Let’s think happy thi-
Tim: Do you think if I tell Ra’s he’s my friend he’ll die too?
Steph: Okay never mind. Continue.
Tim: Steph, you and Jason should date.
Jason: *blanking out*
Tim: I have a PowerPoint all ready to go.
Tim, giggling: But don’t tell them because it’s a secret.
Two hours later:
Steph: Well, at least he’s finally asleep?
Jason: He would have been sooner if you’d’ve just let me-
Cass, flicking Jason’s ear: No drugging our brother.
Jason: But he’s already drugged, I don’t see-
Dick: Hey guys, how’s Tim doing?
Jason & Steph: mild deer in the headlights look
Cass, grinning: Fantastic.
Dick: I can’t believe you made it through the entire thing.
Tim: Oh ye of little faith.
Dick: Too bad they deleted the video. I would have loved watching their reactions to the whole thing.
Cass, pulling up a backup copy of the video footage: Oh ye of little faith.
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from batgirl(2000) #30
submitted by @sporkberries
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Hey there! Here’s an idea that I had!
*At a Spirit Halloween Store*
Dick: Strutting out the dressing room while wearing a sexy cop costume all while Wally is getting a nose bleed.
Jason: Looking for a costume but is distracted cuz he has to stop Roy from fighting with the animatronics.
Tim: Picking out Halloween decor but he turns into a hot mess as he sees Kon in a hot firefighter costume.
Damian: Wishing he was dead cuz he let Jon pick out their costumes and let’s just say Harley would be proud.
Barbara: Chanting I am vengeance I am the knight while Kara records her in her own matching Batman costume.
Stephanie: Terrorizing the little kids as she wears a clown mask and chases them around the store.
Cassandra: In a witch costume sitting in a cauldron eating the candy she found in the trick or treat buckets.
Feel free to reblog/like’
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She’s slowly becoming my favourite batgirl 👀🦇
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Jason picked it up Alfred's accent when he first came to the manor because he spent his free time mostly with him (or studying, reading, or training) he picked it up some words and finally his accent. He slips into a British accent when he is mad ala Annie Parker in the parent trap, so it's really funny when his goons are ??? while the Red Hood goes off about black mask in a British accent.
Alfred banned whipped cream from the manor after the whipped cream incident of 2019. One time after patrolling he made waffles and pancakes for the kids and you know when they're too tired their brain is like half asleep? Yeah, Damian accidentally made the can of whipped cream explode by poking it with a butter knife.
Tim is not allowed in the kitchen without adult supervision. He once tried to make an omelet but the pan caught fire panicked and went full 🧍🏻and the whole kitchen smelled like burnt egg.
Tim likes coffee but in a way that loves all the frappuccinos (do they even count as coffee? who knows) that Starbucks has to offer, the more sugar the better. He is in a constant sugar rush.
Damian is an Oreo connoisseur, they are accidentally Vegan and will eat them for breakfast, lunch, and dinner but he isn't allowed to. He knows if a cookie is missing, will bite the person that took it.
Steph is always singing or humming to a song or a TikTok audio, ALWAYS. One slow night of patrolling annoyed the hell out of Bruce singing the berries and cream song through the comms, at 1:16 am sent her to the manor, he couldn't take it anymore.
Dick and Cass have RuPaul's Drag Race marathons on their free nights. They are currently on season 2.
The swear jar in the bat cave is always spilling (Bruce swears a lot) when they can't fit more money they take turns to donate it to a youth center or somewhere else where it's needed. They are always weekly donations.
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Batfam as strange convos had on my discord server
Jason: Give me the bodies!
Tim: You mean from the Cave?
Jason: Where else would you put a body?
Steph: You could eat it
Jason: Fair point, but yes, I am talking about the bodies in the Cave
Dick: Why do you need bodies?
Jason: To be fair, I only need body parts
Dick: Why do you need body parts?
Dick: WHY DO YOU NEED BODY PARTS JASON?
Duke: What, do you just assume everyone here has self-esteem issues?
*at the same time*
Dick: No? I mean no!
Dick: I thought we were
Jason: Wannabe tall person
Tim: I'll steal your kneecaps on my way to hell
Dick: BABY SHARK
Steph: DOO DOO DOO DOO DOO DOO
Tim: BABY SHARK
Jason: DOO DOO DOO DOO DOO DOO
Cass: BABY SHARK
Duke: DOO DOO DOO DOO DOO DOO
Damian: I will not
Bruce: This is why you're my favourite
Dick: Sure, Jaskn! No problem!
Jason: Ô the betrayal! Ô the pain caused by a brother who does not know my name. Ô the infamy! How could you, brother? I thought you loved me, but how could I still believe that after what you've done, brother? I lay here to die, alone in this world, abandoned, if ever approached, by my peers.
Dick: It was a typo! Im sorry!
Jason: *i do not see it*
*blank during a conversation*
Dick: what the- every time!
Steph: At least we're talking again
*asked about how he did something*
Tim: I have depression
Jason: Me too
Tim: Well, then, I don't know
Bruce: Should I be concerned? Nevermind it's too late for that
Tim: My cucumber is dry :(
Bruce: I'm sorry what?
Steph: Good bye Tim.
Dick: What the fuck
Jason: Oh no, Tim. I understand your pain.
Dick: What the fuck. Explain.
Tim: I had to leave it for a mission, so i put it in the fridge. But it's dry now :(
Tim: How do you feel about beating up children?
Steph: Obviously it's hilarious. Watching them snivelling and begging you to stop it's exhilarating, and when they start crying it's always so funny, how could you resist?
Steph: I'm joking
Steph: Don't tell anyone I said that
Tim: Too late
Tim: It's been recorded and sent to the family groupchat
Jason and Bruce: *having a serious conversation*
Tim: Ooooo there's a cute guy!
Jason and Bruce:
Jason: Go, be attracted!
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Day 21 Bike
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Stephanie: Bruce I'm joining your family one way or another. I'll let you decide if your my father figure or my father-in-law *puts arms around Cass and Tim*
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Incorrect Batfam Quotes
*in the middle of battle, they’re all possibly about to die
Jason: Well I suppose now is the time for me to say something profound.
Jason: …nothing comes to mind. Let’s do it.
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Buzzfeed unsolved but its Tim and Steph fucking around and scaring themselves shitless while Cass laughs at them behind the camera. The first episode would be using a ouji board to contact ‘the ghost of jason todd” whom they claim has no relation to their editor Tason Jodd.
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BatFam in Sims 4
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Cass, Jason, and Tim getting Alfred one of those “proud parent to a few dumbass kids” shirts and him wearing it to the JL’s Christmas party. That’s it.
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16-year-old Helena: *walks into a room where her siblings are chatting, whip in hand, murder in her eyes* I need your help. I can’t tell you what it is, you can never ask me about it later, and…we’re gonna hurt some people.
Duke: Who’s car are we going to take?
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As much as people love the whole batfamily fanon thing I just can't forget how if we're talking about canon a lot of its members don't really care/interact or talk to each other.
Cass wouldn't like Jason cause of her views on killing
Dick hasn't really shown much investment in Cass
DC writers forget that Cass and Steph are characters, I've got no problem with fanon but honestly it ain't gonna work out lol
Hello there Anon!
I think that the Bat Fandom is (loosely) divided in two groups, the ones that know and are aware that fanon only works in fandom and the ones that strongly believe that their version of batfamily is better and can easily replace the “batfamily” dynamic in comics.
Like sure, fandom’s version of batfamily is cute and fluffy but I don’t think for a second that it is better written or a good replacement for the mess that we have in canon.
One of my biggest pet peeves is when people say that fandom’s version of these bat-related characters are better written. Like, I am sorry but no. These are all the same character template with one distinctive characteristic that is exaggerated enormously. It is a good thing to have as a fanon thing to enjoy and make headcanons about but we cannot lie to ourselves either, fanon characterizations are also bland but like in the opposite direction of canon.
I absolutely agree about Cass and Jason. Cass would not like Jason at all and I don’t think that she would be willing to work with him. In Jason’s case, I think that he wouldn’t care about Cass’s existence but it would piss him off that there is someone so much like Bruce in terms of the “no killing rule”.
About Dick and Cass, well, things are more complicated there. Dick used to have a solid relationship back in the day, before the New 52, and like many things when it comes to Dick, it was taken away and completely erased. Dick’s only interactions with Cass happened in Batman & Robin Eternal, which was a complete reboot of her character introduction and then a few Nightwing issues ago she appeared in the “batfamily” chat after Dick gave his charity speech. So, yeah, Dick isn’t present in Cass’s life but that just a new DC take, he used to have a nice relationship with her before. She even had a wonderful relationship with Tim that now doesn’t exist but at least she gets along well enough with Duke.
“DC writers forget that Cass and Steph are characters, I've got no problem with fanon but honestly it ain't gonna work out lol”
Oh yeah, this is where the big problem is at, and if I may I will rant about this a little bit because Cass and Steph being side-lined or forgotten has to do with the fact that DC wants Barbara Gordon to be their forever Batgirl.
Cass and Steph had a very nice place in the “batfamily” back in the day, they were solid characters that had lots of fans and they actually developed into being Batgirls with the help of Barbara as Oracle (as well as Dick and Tim). Back in those days the batfamily made sense and felt closer, they were less people in the family and DC actually spent time developing these dynamics and relationships.
Those characters also had other relationships and dynamics outside of Bruce/Batman. The most important one was Barbara’s relationship with the Birds of Prey, she had moved forward in her real and vigilante life. She was an adult woman who used a wheelchair and had grown out of the mantle of BatGIRL, she had a team of women by her side and she had decided to train to girls to take over Batgirl.
It was perfect, and it worked. But one day DC decided that Barbara should be younger and able-bodied. And because they did that, they made her Batgirl again (a massive downgrade), by giving her Batgirl back they did two other things, they made Cass and Steph’s existence a complicated thing AND they slowly erased the true concept of the Birds of Prey.
So, we were left with a Barbara Gordon that was aged down to Dick’s age, so DC could profit even more from the ship wars and they trapped adult and disabled Babs inside a teenager version of her that had completely devolved.
Batgirl Barbara is an absolute for DC, they love to pretend that she was the original Batgirl and that she has been the only one to wear the mantle. They also love to make her able-bodied because DC has always been ableist.
The only reasons why DC teases Cass and Steph in Batgirl costumes like they did in Future State is because they know it hypes people up and it sells books.
Right now, we are having a completely unnecessary event where Barbra is Batgirl AND Oracle and she fighting an evil version of Oracle. Yeah, because that’s another thing DC loves to do, villainizing Oracle, so people grow more distant to that Barbara characterization.
And the fact that Barbara is nowadays both Batgirl and Oracle (and able-bodied) is a huge insult to Cass and Steph’s characters who need to be brought up again into the spotlight because we are lacking solid female characters in the beloved “batfamily”, Barbara isn’t only horribly characterized but she had her own book taken away, so now she is the annoyingly ever present character that appears in Nightwing because DC loves to cater their books to shippers that don’t see characters beyond the relationships that they like.
Well, I really got carried away there but yeah, fanon’s batfamily will never work in canon and it only works in fanon in a superficial way because their versions of these characters are completely different from the characters as we actually know them.
As a Jason person I can honestly say that fanon Jason is nowhere near as interesting as canon Jason, and fanon Jason is as bland and dumb as Lobdell’s Jason and I will die on that hill.
Anyway Anon, thank you for sending me your ask and I hope you have an amazing day!
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