Cassian: I am a soft idiot, a sappy motherfucker, a sentimental bastard if you will.
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i really love how rhysand, azriel and cassian are all so open to how much they love family. even in the face of outsiders, other high lords, they wont act aloof and like they dont care about one another, its the opposite. they’ll come close to killing someone for looking at their family the wrong way. they’ll face enemies to save a family member. they’ll fight in wars even when injured just for a mere chance at saving their family. im glad sjm didnt do the whole “men dont show emotion, men cold” thing. im glad we get to see these old, powerful, feared men show anyone and everyone their absolute love for family and own it. its like they’re another version of dom toretto lmao
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Lack of observation skills [Cassian (Acotar) x Reader]
Cassian portray by Dominique Wesson [Tumblr] & [Instagram]
Title: Lack of observation skills
Pairing: Cassian (Acotar) x Reader
Word count: 3.7k
Published: 25 October 2021
Author: Heloise Daphne Brightmore
Warning: One or two swear words
Notes: This is my first A Court of Thorns and Roses fic so go easy on me pretty please :D
Summary: [x] You thought you've been subtle about forgetting your eyes on the General, but apparently you haven't. It's not enough that Mor questions your feelings for the Illyrian warrior, Cassian also seems to be plotting against you.
A Court of Thorns and Roses Masterlist | Masterlists
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Loud grunting and suppressed cursing filled the training area situated on top of the House of Wind. Azriel let out a silent chuckle as his sword slowly overpowered Cassian’s defence, earning another set of swear words from the former. Even though Cass seemed to be struggling against his training partner, he didn’t let it get to him. He was never one to give up after all. Taking a step forward with a loud grunt he pushed Azriel’s sword back, sending his friend tumbling backwards before he quickly adjusted his stance.
You were seated on a bench watching the two of them train as one of the priestesses requested, hoping to learn more from watching the two Illyrian males going head-to-head against each other. A part of you tried to convince yourself that you were there only to learn from them and maybe pick up some new techniques on the way, but it was just a lame excuse and even you had to admit that you couldn’t fool yourself.
Gazing towards the pair, your eyes wandered towards Cassian. His dark hair was pulled back, revealing the utter determination and concentration spreading across his face. His body moved in a brutal, lethal warrior-like dance that made you stare at every move he made, completely forgetting about your surroundings. Sweat trickled down his face and lower arm, enhancing his muscles. He was stunning whether he was in a fight, or simply walking down the streets of Velaris. Though you never dared to admit it out loud, you were attracted to the male and however hard it was to come to terms with your feelings, throughout the last year or so your feelings only grew deeper for him.
“If you are trying to be subtle, it’s not working out for you,” Mor chuckled beside you, her unexpected voice making you jump in your place. For a moment you focused on arranging your breathing before you collected yourself again.
“I’m not sure what you are talking about,” you offered her the most innocent look you could muster. Eyes wide open, lips pursed, face sprinkled with a hint of dumbness.
“It might work for you against them,” she nodded towards the two males still in the midst of their fight, “but it doesn’t work with me, so remove that silly look from your face. We both know acting has never been your strongest skill,” she snorted at the thought, earning herself a grimace from you.
“Whatever,” you huffed, folding your arms over your chest, leaning against the wall behind the bench.
“Sulking won’t get you your male,” she grinned with a knowing look in her eyes.
“What are we even talking about?” You asked, keeping up your act, not wanting to dwell in your feelings longer than it was necessary.
Mor offered you a sceptical look, before a loud sigh left her lungs, earning your attention once again. “Do you really think I’m that daft? That I can’t see the way you are looking at him? That none of us can see the way you are looking at him? You may be able to fool yourself and possibly him, but certainly not your friends,” she huffed incredulously as if the thought of you trying to hide your feelings was beyond ridiculous.
For a mere moment you went through different scenarios, each ending with you looking like a fool indeed. “Why are you so curious about it?” You asked at last.
“Because I’m tired of watching you drooling over a male? Also, it might be because you are really easy to read with your love-sick gaze,” she smirked as she wrapped an arm around your shoulder and focused her attention on the two boys who seemed to be in an endless fight, though their precise movements started lacking.
“What do you want me to say?” A heavy sigh left your lungs as you gazed at Cassian wearing his usual cocky grin, seemingly enjoying his training session with Az.
“That you’ll stop acting like a fool and tell him how you feel,” she said bluntly as if it was obvious, but it only earned her a scoff from you.
“As if I could ever do that. I’m just a mere friend, a simple healer. Nothing beyond that,” you shrugged nonchalantly, knowing you’ve accepted your unrequited love long ago.
“Are we talking about the same person? Cassian adores you and dare I say loves you,” Mor squeezed your shoulder reassuringly, but it didn’t help the bitter laughter that erupted from your lungs.
“Oh, you almost got me,” you said, still chuckling as you finally found your voice. But as you looked up at Mor, her face fell serious as if to prove she wasn’t joking around. “Oh, come on, Mor. I know you have known him longer than I have, but I think I’d realise if the person I like returned the same feelings. I might not be good at pretending, but I can assure you, my observation skills are not at all rusty. Cassian looks at me the same way he looks at you, Amren or even Feyre. It is nothing but platonic feelings if any,” you added, not only trying to convince Mor, but yourself.
“I wonder how well those observation skills are helping, because they might not be rusty, but they are certainly non-existent,” she furrowed as if to say she was slowly losing her patience.
“Mor, I’d appreciate it if we could just drop the subject. I find it useless anyway,” you said in a firm tone as you leaned forward and placed your elbows on your knees, letting her arm fall behind you, indicating that the conversation was over with.
“You really are a fool,” she huffed, shaking her head disapprovingly.
“I’d rather be a fool than rejected,” you whispered more to yourself, but it didn’t miss Mor’s ears as she let out another frustrated sigh and rubbed the bridge of her nose.
“Oblivious fool,” she mumbled under her breath, but she didn’t seem to want to continue the conversation either.
Cassian and Azriel went on for another hour, before Mor got bored of it and stood up to declare the fight a tie. Cassian huffed out an annoyed curse, seemingly more frustrated with the outcome than Az who simply shook it off and headed to grab some water.
You couldn’t suppress the giggle that threatened to erupt from you and as it escaped, Cassian turned to you with a handsome smile that started your heart off at a dangerous pace. Oh, you wished to wake up to that radiant smile every morning only to find yourself alone in your room with nothing but a lonely pillow staring back at you.
“What seems to be so amusing?” He asked as he walked over to the bench and plopped down beside you, his smile growing wider.
“You are a sore loser,” you said, happily returning his expression.
“I did not lose!” He exclaimed as if you offended him.
“Well, you didn’t win either, did you?” You teased him, attempting to ignore the way he trapped his bottom lip between his teeth, biting down on it gently. Oh, how many times you’ve imagined your lips being bitten by this mighty male that seemed to occupy most of your thoughts, only to come to the realisation that they were only hopeless dreams.
“I’ll have you know, if it was a real fight, I would have won. I went easy on Az,” he said as if he was trying to convince himself more than you.
“Right, still you didn’t win though,” you shrugged with a playful grin across your face, even his mere presence making you feel like a love-sick dumb puppy.
“If you are so sure of me being a loser, why don’t you show me how to do it then? If you can win, I’ll do whatever you ask of me for a week, but if I win, you’ll do as I say,” he offered, his gaze holding a certain fire you haven’t seen before with a tinge of excitement.
“You want to bet with me?” Though you were surprised, you couldn’t deny how excited his words made you.
“Sure. But no backing down if you lose,” he added with a gentle warning.
Though a part of you wanted to protest, knowing you weren’t near as powerful as the Illyrian warrior seated next to you, another part of you felt excited. Regardless of the win or lose situation, you knew it would mean spending more time with him and you craved that extra attention even if only platonic.
“You know what? Why not,” you replied with determination filling your voice. Standing up from the bench, you adjusted your tunic and walked over to the centre of the training area. “Are you coming or am I supposed to take it as a flightless win?” Cassian let out an incredulous snort and walked over to you with a smug grin. You were so focused on the cocky expression across his face, you missed to realise that everyone seemed to disappear from the training yard, leaving only the two of you present.
“I never fought a healer before. I’m kind of excited,” he chuckled.
“Well, you will get your ass kicked by one, so you better get used to it,” you said with a mocking grin, earning a heartfelt laugh from him, giving you just enough time to take the opportunity and attack. However, your bold – or cowardly - move seemed to be fruitless as Cassian simply stepped aside as if to say you’ll need to try harder, sweetheart.
“Oh, so that’s how we play, huh?” He mumbled with his cocky grin across his face. “Don’t you want to play fair and square?” He asked with an arched brow, stepping away from another attack you started, fist meeting with nothing but air.
“When was it a play to begin with? I’m taking it very seriously,” you replied as you punched in the air once again, seemingly close to meeting Cassian’s face, but he only stepped aside again as if taunting you. “Will you attack or is it just me actually fighting here?” You huffed in an irritated tone.
“You look too adorable trying. Who am I to stop you?” He chuckled, earning him a grimace from you.
“Just wait until I actually punch you and remove that smug grin from your face,” you said breathing heavier by the second.
“Why would you want to remove it, I thought you liked it,” he said with ease, momentarily making you freeze before you collected yourself again and attempted another attack only to meet nothing.
“I don’t know what you are talking about,” you hissed, slightly frustrated.
“Oh, don’t you now?” He smirked and managed to get behind you, grabbing both your arms and crossing them in front of your chest, caging you against his chest. “Then why do you always stare at me if you don’t like what you see?” He asked as you struggled against his hold, but your strength seemed to leave you as his lips brushed against your ear, sending a shiver down your spine.
“You need to improve your observation skills, General,” you huffed as you stepped on his foot and pushed yourself away.
“I think my observation skills are perfectly fine. It’s your subtlety that needs some training,” he chuckled as he launched towards you. Ducking under his arm, you kicked his shin, earning a hissing sound from him. You knew none of you would fight seriously, not daring to hurt the other, but Cassian needed some humbling.
“I need no subtlety if I have nothing to hide,” you said as you ducked once again, avoiding another incoming attack.
“Oh, so you are openly staring at me,” he snorted humorously, clearly enjoying the conversation more than you and your heavily flushed cheeks.
“You are mistaken! I was merely observing your techniques,” you attempted to correct him, but he didn’t seem to budge.
“I’m not only talking about today,” he said as he managed to duck before your fist met his handsome face and he kicked your leg out from under you. With a loud huff you fell on the mattress and within seconds Cassian crawled over you to pin your hands above your head and your legs against the mattress. “What about all the other times you forgot your eyes on me?” He asked with a taunting tone, his eyes studying you intently.
You squirmed against his hold, trying to break free, but he was a block of muscle that didn’t seem to want to let you go just yet. “I have no idea what you are on about Cassian. And I would appreciate it if you’d let me go,” you huffed, still struggling against his hands, your breathing more uneven than in the midst of your fight. It was hard trying to get away from him, or at least pretend to, when in fact you couldn’t take your eyes off his face that barely left any space between the two of you, his breathing brushing against your cheeks.
“Accept that I won, and I’ll let you go,” he said, earning a frustrated sigh from you. Though your pride fought against it, you were afraid of giving away more than you wished.
“Fine, you’ve won. Now let me go,” you urged him, but he didn’t budge.
“Hmm, now that you mention it, I changed my mind. Since you have to do whatever I tell you to for the next week, my first wish is to stay like this,” he offered you a cheeky wink, his smug grin growing wider.
“You said you’d let me go,” you cursed as you pulled on your arm without success.
“You said you’d do whatever I asked of you,” he grinned proudly as if to say he had won once again earning himself another set of curses from you. “You have a dirty little mouth, don’t you?” He arched a brow, leaning even closer to you. “I like that,” he whispered in your ear, his lips brushing against your earlobe, sending a sudden shiver through your body, making your tummy flip in excitement. A part of you wanted to deny the feeling, but you knew Cassian could sense the change in your scent.
His breath hitched for a moment and pulled himself away just enough to be able to look at you, his smug grin nowhere to be found. He stared into your eyes with an unknown fire alighting them, his gaze darkening as if he was pulled under an invisible spell. You tried to turn away, feeling embarrassed under his heavy stare, but he gently grabbed your chin and turned you back to him, searching for your eyes. “Look at me,” he whispered, though it was stern, there was a certain gentleness in his tone. As if it was an order, you looked at him and met his gaze, dozens of emotions swirling in those hazel eyes. His gaze wandered down to your mouth, and you couldn’t miss the way he licked across his luscious lips, completely capturing your attention, breathing growing heavier as your heart raced in a pace that could’ve made you worried.
“I want to kiss you,” he breathed in a barely audible tone. For a moment you thought you heard it wrong, but his intense gaze attached to your lips reassured you that your hearing was just fine. Though you wanted to deny him and tell him it was a bad idea, you couldn’t possibly say no when you’ve been dreaming about his lips meeting yours in a sensuous kiss for as long as you could remember.
“I— I want you to kiss me,” you whispered against his lips, his eyes growing wide as he realised you’ve given him permission. Though he was stunned, it only lasted for a second before his lips pressed against yours, their warmth eliciting a pleased moan from you. He let your hands go and cupped your cheeks, pulling you even closer and you dug your fingers into his hair, gently scraping his head with your nails, earning yourself a groan from him.
The kiss was heated and nothing like you imagined. Cassian had always joked around and other than training, missions, and wars, he was barely ever serious. You thought he’d be playful and teasing, but oh how wrong you were. Cassian was kissing you with a feverish passion that made you feel like your whole body was on fire. His hand moved down to your hip, leaving a trail of tingling feeling to spread through each and every nerve of yours. His tongue seemed to know exactly how to get you worked up and before you even realised, his name escaped your lips in a moan.
Cassian pulled away just enough to give both of you space to breath and heaved a heavy sigh, searching for your eyes which he soon found still in a trance. “Why have you been denying me that all this time?” He asked, still out of breath.
“What?” You breathed between gulping down air.
“You heard me. Why have you been denying me that?” He repeated as you requested. “I knew you liked me, you made it quite obvious if you ask me,” he let out a silent chuckle and you felt your cheeks heat up, spreading to your ears. “I thought I’d give you time to understand your feelings, to open up to me, but every time we were together, you happened to find something to do as soon as we were done. You’ve been escaping every single opportunity we had to get closer to each other,” he shook his head as if scolding you, but you could only stare at him in shock. “I honestly didn’t know what else to do because you seemed to be running away. And don’t you dare deny it,” he said as you opened your mouth to interrupt him.
“I have asked you to eat dinner with me, to join us on summer solstice, to even help me out at the war camp. They were all excuses to spend time with you, but each time I was rejected,” he shook his head and you felt like digging your own grave. You could recall each moment he listed as if it was yesterday. But you thought he was only being friendly, and you felt if you accepted it, it would further get your hopes up only to let you fall in the end.
“I thought you were just being nice,” you finally spoke with a deep frown, though your voice seemed less stern than you wished it to be. Cassian snorted at your words as if to say you were a fool.
“For a shallow month, I went to see you at work every day, sweetheart,” he scoffed incredulously. “I have liked you before you even learned my name. I have tried to get close to you, but I couldn’t. I saw your feelings written on your face, yet each time I attempted to get closer to you beyond a friendship, you simply pushed me away. You were driving me insane,” he huffed as he finally pulled away from you and dropped on the mattress beside you. You stared up at the darkening sky, the sun nowhere to be found, but its light still followed over the horizon.
“So, you like me, huh?” You asked, which only earned you a loud groan from Cass, who placed his lower arm in front of his eyes as if to say he had given up with this useless conversation because you clearly didn’t understand what he was saying. You did though, but it was hard to believe after all.
With a cheeky grin across your face, you crawled over to him and straddled him, making him squirm for a second, his eyes widening as he realised you were seated on him. But then a smug grin spread across his face, and he folded his arms under his head to support his neck. “That’s quite a bold move. Seconds ago, you didn’t even understand what I was talking about,” he scoffed, but his smile didn’t falter.
“I did. It was just hard to believe. It’s still hard to believe,” you said with as much honesty as you could. “Yes, I have liked you for a long time, but I honestly didn’t notice that you had any interest in me. I thought you were being friendly because— well, because we worked together. It never even crossed my mind that you’d look at me— as me, not just a friend or another healer working for Rhys,” you cleared your throat awkwardly as your gaze fell to your lap and you fidgeted with your hands nervously. “I just didn’t let myself think that a male— a male like you would be interested in me,” your words hurt you, but you wanted to be honest with him. As you met his gaze once again, a heavy frown spread across his forehead.
“What was that last part?” He asked as if he heard you wrong.
“I didn’t think someone like you would be interested in me,” you whispered with a guilty feeling bubbling up inside you at the stern look Cassian was giving you. A loud squeaking sound left your lungs as Cassian sat up and wrapped an arm around your waist to keep you close, not letting you escape this time. His breath brushed your lips as he spoke again.
“For the record, a male like me would be fucking lucky to have you,” he said in a firm tone. “Do you even realise how gorgeous you are or how smart that little head of yours is? Do you not see how adorable you are with that little pout when you are sulking? How can you not see the affects you have on me? I’m like a love-sick puppy following you around,” he shook his head as if he couldn’t understand how you were unable to see the way he looked at you. “I like you more than you can comprehend.” A small smile started forming across your lips as your cheeks flushed and a happy knot formed in the pit of your stomach.
“Well,” you started as you lifted your hands and fidgeted with the collar of his Illyrian fighting leather. “I do like you too,” you said with a playful smirk. As your eyes met and you saw the playful grin across his face widen, you mirrored his expression.
“You better,” he chuckled before he pulled you against him and pressed his lips to yours, inviting you for another feverish kiss that you couldn’t possibly get enough of nor did you want to have enough of.
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what was nesta’s turning point in wanting cassian?
because miss girl went out of her way to ignore and avoid him for two years and SJM is seriously trying to tell me that by like the second week she was locked up in the house of wind they were like fucking around with each other ALREADY?
because there is no way i’m ever going to believe that nesta archeron, who runs from her feelings and avoids emotion, is the romantic, emotional, vulnerable one between the two of them. that she sees cassian being so emotionally unavailable and distant with her and she still puts her heart out there for him.
i just don’t believe that after the solstice scene where nesta confesses her entire heart out to cassian and he stands there like a mute that nesta doesn’t feel insecure of question whether he feels the same for her.
and after the solstice scene, when cassian just runs away for like a week, nesta doesn’t regret speaking about her feelings to him or wanting to take back what she said because literally HE DIPPED and disappeared right after she opened up to him?
and the fact that nesta didn’t wallow over cassian saying he felt shackled to her is something i don’t believe. IT’S NESTA. she’s literally going to want to die over that comment, and the fact that it’s never even brought up again. unbelievable 😭😭
i feel like nesta is always going to be insecure in their relationship because cassian seems like the hardest person to be emotionally available with. he’s just standing there all the time🧍like can he say something? i know “his love language is touch 🥺” but surely he is still able to open his mouth and communicate with nesta?
i’m just like … how could sarah janet have made such a colosal, monumental, gigantic mistake in writing nessian??
she literally set their story up for herself perfectly. the backstories, the angst, the pining and yearning and connection to each other. it was literal perfection 🤌🤌🤌🤌
the execution should’ve been the easiest part considering she’s written about 20 love stories. i’m so confused and SAD 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
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Cassian: Doesn’t count when you use your hands to do most of the work.
Nesta: I bet that isn’t what you’ve been telling yourself at night.
Cassian: Is that what those smutty books teach you? That it’s only at night? It could be anytime—dawn’s first light, or when I’m bathing, or even after a long, hard day of practice.
Nesta: Sounds like you have a lot of time on your hands, Cassian.
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ACOTAR characters as random tumblr posts
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Azriel: Did something happen that I, as your chaperone should know about?
Cassian after making out with Nesta:
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complete on tt @/archivenessian
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I was just in need of reading some sentimental stuff with Azriel x fem!reader, where they are just holding each other, talking about insecurities. Reader loves to hold his hands, Az won't admit it but he loves it to. Maybe reader (who is shorter than him) is sitting on his lap and they're reading a book and she falls asleep on him and before he can take her to bed someone from the Inner Circle comes in and is surprised cause no one knew about his relationship with reader, but then won't stop teasing Az about how soft he looks.. something like that, but feel free to change whatever you'd like. I really love your other Azriel works, so I trust you completely to write it as you wish.
And I wanted to know who are your favorite acotar characters? To read and write about.
and if you write for poly relationship?
Thank you for your time, love :)
She Makes You Soft
Azriel (ACOTAR) x F!Reader
Word Count: 600~
A/N: hi anon! i didn't stick to the exact rubric and didn't go too in detail with the insecurity bit, i hope you don't mind ;-; as for your first question, my favorite characters are tamlin, azriel, cassian, and lucien! both for reading and writing. and yes, although i don't have any experience writing poly relationships, i'd be more than happy to give it a go :) thank you for the request!
You take his hand gently and guide it to your lap, running your thumb along every scar that is slashed there. His shadows are there, too, winding around your fingers and tickling you softly. The first time you took his hands like this and traced over every unique mark, there was a deep frown on his face, but now, he shows the slightest hint of a smile. It's barely there, but it's enough to make your heart swell with joy. The day he stops looking at these hands with hatred and disgust will be the happiest of your life.
"Why do you love them so much?" Azriel murmurs, his chin propped on the top of your head and his arms wound around you from the back. You merely hum, bringing his large hand up to your lips to kiss it.
"Because I love you, every part of you."
He doesn't respond, but you feel his flesh grow hot against yours, likely blushing from the praise. Having such a strong, capable warrior blushing for you is quite the ego boost, to say the least.
"Have you even read a word?" he teases, his unoccupied hand still holding up the novel you both had decided on. You admittedly hadn't paid it any attention, finding Azriel himself much more entertaining, but you know how much he likes to read with you, so you humored him.
"No," you admit, tilting your head back to get a good look at him. There's a playful smile on his lips, his brows lifted in amusement.
"Naughty. Come on, read with me."
To tell the complete truth, you couldn't be bothered with the book, but you don't protest. Being in his arms is a rare treat, seeing as your relationship has not been made public. You weren't going to disturb the comfort over some silly book. No, you'd pretend to read it and likely fall asleep in his arms, as you so often do.
Sure enough, every soft turn of the page and motion of his fingers lulls you to sleep even more, your eyes fluttering shut and your form slumping against him. He sighs but makes no move to wake you, merely pressing a kiss to the side of your neck and reading the rest of the chapter.
Yet another interruption comes from the door, much to his chagrin, a grinning Cassian meeting his gaze.
"Oh?" the slightly bigger man says, eyes roaming over you and Azriel's entangled bodies. "Am I interrupting?"
"No, but keep it down," Azriel murmurs, noticing you beginning to stir. "She's asleep."
Cassian takes a moment to respond, his smile softening when he sees how tenderly Azriel holds you, how much affection glimmers in his eyes. The man sits down on the couch parallel to the both of you, tilting his head a little.
"You've gone soft," he pokes, although his expression is genuine. He may say it like an insult, but both men know what a treasure it is to be able to let their walls down around someone. With the rest of the world being what it is, having someone to be able to truly soften around is a wonderful thing. And it's something Azriel has only very recently been able to claim for himself.
"Perhaps," Azriel whispers, sure not to wake your sleeping form. It's then that he stands, effortlessly scooping you into his arms and pressing a sweet kiss to your forehead. Cassian's eyes twinkle at the scene, glad that his brother has finally found peace.
"How long?" he asks before Azriel walks away with you.
"I don't know. A few months, maybe?"
"Do you love her?"
In the past, Azriel may have hesitated. Even when it's just you and him, Azriel avoids saying it, afraid that saying the words out loud will make you slip through his fingers, cursed to always be alone. How could someone as good as you stay in his life for so long? How could he be worthy of love like yours?
He smiles, though, finally allowing the words to leave his lips, completely unaware that you're only really half asleep and can hear his every word.
"Of course I do."
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In which to soothe Nesta’s fear of being a bad mother, without directly calling it out, Cassian reassures her. Most commonly in the form of calling her “Momma.”
Because @frecklesandfiction is having a tough week and @thecrispypotatochip asked
She’s a little embarrassed when she’s the first one of them to bring it up, but after summoning some courage, four decades after being mated, Nesta finally asks him.
In the most roundabout way…
“I… I’m ready.”
Cassian raises his brows from his seat on the sofa. Nesta is curled up on the rug by the library fire, a book in her hand.
“Me too,” he replies apprehensively. “But what for?” Cassian adds with a smirk.
Nesta can’t bring herself to meet his eyes so she stares into the hearth. “For a baby.”
And he’s silent. She still can’t make herself look at him. Gods after so many years she’s finally rendered the male speechless.
But he finally interrupts her in the softest of voices: “You’re… you’re sure?”
Nesta’s head whips in his direction, her expression carefully blank. “Yes.”
And he smiles wider than she’s ever seen him smile before. And it sets her heart on fire.
And Nesta thinks that the worst is over. She’s breeched the topic. Now all they have to do is conceive.
And that’s the fun part, right?
Cassian can tell that Nesta is relieved. He can tell because the tense line of her shoulders has relaxed and because she unconsciously releases a heavy exhale.
And while making the baby is the fun part… he is prepared for what will certainly prove to be the most difficult aspect of this pregnancy.
The doubts that will arise in Nesta.
He knows they will surface because they’ve already surfaced for him.
He had an irrational fear that he would suddenly develop the urge to abandon his family. Like father like son, right?
No. Rhysand had helped him disperse of that fear quickly.
Whenever Cassian had watched over Nyx, his brother would casually remark: “Keep being so good with him and he may assume that you’re his father.”
Or even going so far as to say: “You’ll make a fine father some day, brother.”
And over and over and over again he said such things to Cassian till Cassian realized that all his preconceived fears of being a poor father were foolish.
After all, what sort of a poor father consciously promised to ensure his children never felt unloved or unwanted?
“Should we… get started?” Nesta asks apprehensively, bringing him back to the present.
Unable to wipe the smile from his face Cassian replies: “Oh yes. Right away.”
They get lucky. It only take a few months before Nesta is pregnant. Cassian scents it one morning when Nesta is exiting their bathing chambers.
She’s drying her hair with a towel when the scent hits him like a freight train.
Nesta meets his eyes and his face splits into a smile before he starts laughing.
“Really?” Nesta says, stilling before him.
Cassian nods and tosses aside the reports he had been reading, clambering out of bed to embrace his mate.
As he holds her he feels the bond between them tremble. She’s nervous. It hurts his heart.
So he presses a kiss into her hair and whispers fondly. “Congratulations, Momma.”
And then the bond is humming and glowing and he smiles to himself, self-satisfied.
He places a calloused palm over her flat stomach, and murmurs a word of thanks in her ear.
And makes a silent promise that he’ll call her “Momma” every time he feels the bond waver with insecurity. He’ll reaffirm her every chance he gets.
“Good morning, Momma,” he says when she joins him for breakfast.
“Sorry, Momma,” he says as she wretches into the basin and he holds back her hair.
“Here you go, Momma,” he croons, handing her a cup of ginger root tea for her nausea.
“Rest, Momma,” he whispers as she lays down for a nap.
“Look at you, Momma,” he grins when he catches her looking down at the lump between her hips.
“Aw, Momma,” he murmurs, when she cries over the soup she spilled.
“Come here, Momma,” he smiles admiring her noticeably larger breasts.
“Looking good, Momma,” he remarks, watching her decorate the nursery — because there’s something very beautiful about her folding that baby blanket.
“What’s this, Momma?” he whistles when he discovers her examining her now noticeable bump in the mirror.
“What’s wrong, Momma?” he asks softly, drying the tears she can’t explain.
“Feel that, Momma?” he chuckles when they feel the baby kick.
“Hey, give me that, Momma,” he grumbles, grabbing the heavy jug of water she is trying to carry.
“Lift your legs, Momma,” he commands, prompting her to place her swollen ankles in his lap so that he can massage them.
“Are you ready, Momma?” he asks the night before the baby is due.
“Great job, Momma,” he half laughs half cries as she finishes pushing.
“She’s perfect, Momma,” he sniffs, cradling his daughter.
“Here you go, Momma,” he says handing her their baby.
“You both are beautiful, Momma,” he smiles as she nurses the baby in their home.
And when his daughter’s first word is “momma” Cassian couldn’t be happier.
Because Nesta’s eyes are immediately tearing up and she’s applauding her daughter, and telling her that she’s right.
But then Nesta turns to Cassian and points, her daughter follows her mother’s finger and she meets her father’s eyes.
Nesta inclines her head and says “Now can you say: Papa?”
And Cassian chuckles gruffly, because he knows it will be a little while longer before her vocabulary expand—
“Paw-puh,” his daughter says.
And Cassian smiles.
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Wicked Game - Azriel x Reader (Part 1/2)
Synopsis - Watching Azriel happy in another relationship, while knowing your mates, tugged a fine line.
Word Count - 1,326
Warnings - Drinking, yelling, light angst
Note - Part Two will be up soon! Sorry it's short but the next part will be longer! Also this is a lot of me projecting into this SO there is more internal thought than I normally put into my fics... :/
Azriel is falling in love with Gwyn.
The sight was clear enough that it wasn’t up for debate, more a guessing game (and prime betting opportunity) for the inner circle of when the bond would finally snap into place. Certainty lied in Mor's smile as she drawled out her bet, “It will happen this winter. The two of you will be out doing whatever it is you do when you’re alone, and it will fall into place.” Azriel, whose face was an unreadable mask, sat at the end of the table scowling at the words. If anyone else noticed the insecurity and discomfort that seemed to pulse from Azriel and into you, they didn't show it.
"Why must you all place your bets so far from now? Who knows, the bond could have already snapped into place, and Azriel's too blind to recognize it," Cassian countered. All eyes snapped towards the end of the table, then back towards the long-haired brute. Cassian has always been bold, and Azriel was no exception to said boldness, but the brash comment was tugging a fine line. Azriel raised an eyebrow, his face carefully still, but whatever response was going to fall from his lips never came as Rhys asked, "What about you (Y/n)? Care to place a bet."
All eyes slid to you. Silence, other than the scrapes of cutlery against plates and the obnoxiously loud hammering of your own heart, filled the room. You sighed, forcing a lazy smile to daunt your features, "I barely have time to worry about my future. What makes you think I have the time to consider Az's?" Laughter bubbled across the table, a faint smile gracing the shadowsinger's features, though his shoulders stayed tense regardless. The conversation drifted then to lighter topics. Feyre's remodel of the townhouse and the new group of soldiers Cassian has to train. Azriel slipped away when the group seemed drunk enough, they likely would not notice. Of course, he was assuming that you had been drinking the same as the others, but you started training with Cassian tomorrow, and thus, had been cut off from drinking until further notice. When Cassian had told you the order this morning, you had agreed with little complaint, but now being the only sober one at the table, you slipped away as well.
Finding Azriel, when he did not to be found, was always hard, but never impossible. Tonight he was walking along the river, hands hidden in his pockets, wings tucked in tight. Moonlight danced across his features, playing with his shadows like a fire in the wind. The bond seemed to trace itself around you. The silk elegance of its touch, vicious as it ghosted through you with a phantom wind. If only you could tell him, the blind-sided male who is yours to call mate. Perhaps you would, one day in the future get to call him mate to his face, but you had seen the way he looked at her. Had seen the way his shadows seemed to accept her in a way they never had with you. Azriel was happy with her, and who were you to take that away from him?
"Are you going to stand in the shadows all night? Or are you going to come and join me?" The words were light, playful almost, but coming from Az they sounded heavy. He hadn't turned around, but his shadows seemed to beckon you forward, as you stepped out from behind the stone wall you had been using for cover.
"What gave me away?" You asked, watching how his face softened as he turned to face you. How have you not noticed the bond?
Azriel grinned with ease, "A spymaster's secret." The use of his title so carelessly was rare enough to turn the fake grin on your face into a real one. Az was not one to joke about his title or his place in the court, but these days Az seemed to do a lot of things differently.
You feigned shock, "You can't even tell me?" Azriel shook his head. "If I ask you to train me, would you tell me?" Though you were joking, the words were more hopeful than you meant, something Azriel was sure to have not missed.
Azriel smirked, his eyebrows raised as he asked, "Are you just trying to escape training with Cassian? Because coming to me would be a grave mistake." It was no secret that Azriel was a hard trainer. After hearing what Feyre had to say about his flying instruction, you thought you'd have to be half mad to seek out training from the shadowsinger. Then again, his methods of instruction were a little more straightforward than most, and perhaps that could be seen as more fun, but you'd still have to be half mad to see it that way.
You through him an innocent smile, "No, I'm asking because every spymaster needs an apprentice." Azriel had spies, though none good enough to replace him.
Azriel leaned forward, his breath fanning your face, "Oh? And you think that would be you?" His hair grazed your forehead, his breath sweet-smelling from the honeyed wine from dinner. He was too close, and yet none of this meant anything to him, beyond a friend taunting another friend. Didn't he realize the effect he had on you?
You stepped back, with a shaky breath and said, "Well, yes, at first, and then naturally I would become the master." Azriel tipped his head back and let out an ethereal laugh at the words. He grinned then before stepping back as well and turning, once again, to face the river. The river rushed on, the sound of its rushing water nearly drowning out the sound of the echoing laughter that emerged from the house. Azriel's face was once again stone, the unreadable mask settling back into his skin. It was a shame Azriel's joy never seemed to last long.
"Can I ask you something?" His voice was steady as the sea, though his tone carried the weight of a thousand men. You nodded, tugging at the hem of your shirt, keeping your eyes on the rushing water. "Why...why won't you voice your opinion on Gwyn and I?" The question, unexpected as it was, stabbed at you, rubbing salt into an endless wound.
"I don't know what you mean," You whispered carefully. Gwyn and Azriel, what was there to think beyond the fact that they were together? That he was happy and you had to stand by and watch. Did it matter what you thought if nothing was going to change? Or if telling him how you felt would only lead to rejection? And even if you did tell him, wouldn't it be selfish? To take away this happiness from him knowing he's already been stripped of so much.
"Yes, you do." Azriel's voice cut through your thoughts with no hesitation. His gaze was fixed on you, and though anger simmered under his skin, the careful mask stayed in place.
You looked up, tearing your gaze to the moon. "No, I don't" Of course you knew, but it was too late to take it back. The words were already out there.
Azriel sucked in a breath, turned away from you, and then turned back exhaling, "I think you know exactly what I mean. Don't get me wrong you're careful, but not careful enough. You don't think I notice how it's always you who changes the conversation? Or how you always get unbearably silent when Gwyn is brought up when normally no one can get you to stop talking? What's so awful you can't bear to say it to me?"
You opened your mouth to respond, to argue his point but words failed you. It wasn't until Azriel's laughter, cold and vicious seeped into your skin that you found the words, "We're mates." Wrong choice of words. Azriel was gone before you could get anything else out.
Taglist - @lovelywxxb @katiebellf @tastedlikedamnation @azriel-mate @carlotinhajujuba @gcfty @gliteryunicorns @famousbasementpainter @starlightorstarfire @imperishableblade @notsuzegomes @paulis0499 @Furiousperfectioncupcake @thehighladyofday @moony-is-bae @mari-highladyof-feels @ladysara @daisyturtles @animeoverdosee @siren05 @boxofsilentwords @animeoverdosee @sheridans-dynamos @glaciuswduo
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Nessian Headcanon’s PT. 4
The Nessian’s are starving right now so here are some mated life hc’s:
heads-up: if you don't like trauma jokes, this ain't the hc for you. Come back next time.
Nesta laughs a lot more these days.
No one expects it from her, but Nesta is the queen of dry, dark humor.
Rhys, shivering in the snow mutters, "I have never been this cold in my life."
Nesta, without missing a damn beat, says "Drowning in the Cauldron was colder."
Azriel is nodding in the corner and hollering.
It's the heat of summer and Azriel is shaking his shirt, sweating. "Gods, it's so fucking hot."
Nesta, without missing a beat, "Hotter than when your hands got barbequed?"
Rhys and Cassian: *slaps hands over mouths*
Azriel and Nesta making trauma jokes 🤝 and Cassian is just 😟
Cassian always wakes up first. It's cheesy, but he just watches Nesta sleeping, usually in one of his shirts, and he can feel his heart try to beat right out of his chest. He didn't think love would feel this...painful. It's a constant knot in his chest, always twisting and twisting and he doesn't want it to stop.
Nesta loves brushing Cassian's hair, and it calms him down. There's a battle and Cassian is worried that his battle plans won't work well. He's afraid that he won't be beside Nesta even though he knows the Valkyries can take care of themselves. The morning of the battle, Nesta brushes his hair and knots a braid into the side of his head–a Valkryie custom for valor.
"Go kick ass, General," she says as she looks fiercely into his eyes.
He kisses her long and hard. "Go kick ass, General," he repeats, because Nesta is General of the Valkyries.
"Lower." Nesta looks up at Cassian, panting. His eyes are more green than hazel today, and he's watching her with an unyielding gaze. His brows rise at her. "Lower, Nes."
Her legs are shaking and her body is spent. She really doesn't think she can keep going. She screws her eyes shut, moans, and...
does the one last squat.
She collapses on the ground, catching her breath. The roof of the House is especially hot today, and even the sports bra she'd been working out in is too much. She turns her head towards Cassian and is about to ask him to fly them to the beach, but he's looking intently–and none too discreetly–across the way.
At Gwyn and Azriel.
Nesta sits up–none too discreetly–and sees how Azriel is leaning his arms back on the railing, a soft smile twitching at his mouth as Gwyn talks animatedly with her hands. But, it's his shadows that have Nesta's rapt attention; they are swirling through Gwyn's hair and she doesn't seem to mind or even notice.
Cassian shoots Nesta a look. She blinks at him. He sits down next to her, his leg pressed against hers, and they take a moment to study their respective brother and sister. Cassian opens his mouth and Nesta already knows what he's going to say.
"Fifty says it happens within the year," she beats him to the punch.
"A hundred says they go to Starfall together," he counters.
They shake on it, but they don't let go. Cassian brings her bruised knuckles from sparring with Emerie to his lips, and the gentle kiss sends her heart tumbling. He stands and brings her up with him. He scoops her into his arms and says, "Let's go to the beach."
The way he intrinsically knows her has Nesta falling in love all over again. It's thrilling.
"You're not going to win."
Rhysand is leaning heavily on the table, his cards clutched tightly in his hands. Nesta's eyes flick pointedly to the bead of sweat on his temple that she knows he feels. The irreverent look just makes Rhysand angrier.
"Fine. You want to play like this? I'll fucking play." He shoves the rest of his poker chips to the center of the table. Cassian had long left the game and is grinning at the both of them, his eyes darting from Rhysand to his mate. Azriel is watching intently, his leg bouncing.
"What's your move, sister?" Rhys tries to goad. Nesta just blinks at him. He spits out a curse and runs a frantic hand through his hair. "Fuck it." He slams his cards on the table and anxiously looks at her.
Nesta meets his violet eyes. He thinks he's won. It's not a bad hand, but...
She gently lays her cards down. A royal flush.
Cassian erupts into laughter and Azriel's chin dips to his chest in shock. Grinning, Nesta gathers the chips. It was one of her best games.
And Rhysand...He's screaming, a vein in his neck bulging. The chair he'd been sitting on the edge of is on its side and he's pacing.
"Denial looks spectacular on you, Rhysand," she says matter of factly.
His hair is wild from his hands running through them. "I thought I had you. I was convinced I had you."
Nesta nods solemnly.
Rhysand shakes his head. "That..."
"Was the best game of poker I've ever seen," Azriel finishes, nodding appraisingly to her.
Cassian's hand squeezes her knee under the table.
"Perhaps I'll buy you a therapist with all this money I just swindled from you," she says to Rhysand. Azriel nearly falls back from his chair he laughs so hard.
Rhysand's violet eyes dance with feral amusement. "Make sure they're a family therapist, sister."
When Nesta laughs, she doesn't try to swallow it down.
Nesta quite likes her scary reputation and uses it as a weapon, but a person can only take so much fear and gawking. There are times when she doesn't want to be called Lady Death, but just Nesta. When they're in public/formal court gatherings Nesta's cue to Cassian that she's feeling bad and needs to leave or just needs his support is to hold his hand and hold his bicep with the other. To the outside, it looks like a casual touch between mates. For Nesta, she's clinging to the one person who understands her, the one place she has comfort.
Cassian, who has always been an expert buffer, takes over as courtier and deflects all questions towards Nesta, and takes them himself. When their home and alone, Cassian drapes a wing over her, entangles their legs, and holds her to him; his touch reminds her she's a person, that she's more than what she seems–that she is Nesta before she is anything else.
Nesta and Cassian are kneeling behind a bush at the River House, watching Gwyn and Azriel talk beneath a willow tree. They're peaking through the holes in the shrubbery, doing their best to stay hidden.
"Can you hear them?" Nesta whispers to Cassian.
"I can barely see them through all these damn flowers," He says in a strained whisper, scratching at his chest. "Elain is overdoing herself on the garden."
His eyes begin to squint and before he can give them away, Nesta quickly pinches his nose and covers his mouth. He sneezes right into her hand and at this point in their mating, there is really nothing that can gross her out. "This is why we're not spies."
"No, we're just courtier assholes who run their mouths," he says and Nesta has to bite the inside of her cheek to keep from cackling.
Cassian points and she sees Azriel lean his head back and laugh so loudly the sound reaches them across the large lawn.
Cassian's eyes are wide. "He never laughs."
"He does, just not at your jokes."
Cassian glares at her. "I'm funny."
Nesta purses her lips and gives him a pointed look then jerks her chin towards Gwyn. "Apparently not as funny as her."
But Cassian's jaw is slowly dropping as he watches Azriel. "Holy shit, he's gonna do it."
Nesta leans forward, eagerly peering her eyes. "Do what?"
"His tick." Before Nesta can ask what he means by that, Cassian continues. "He has a tick he does when he's flirting. He puts a hand on the back of his neck and smirks." Cassian points. "And the smooth motherfucker is about to do it."
Sure enough, Gwyn is talking with her hands, a shadow twirling around her fingers and there is Azriel, lifting his hand and resting it on his neck. Nesta almost gasps as Gwyn bites her lip, but Cassian returns the favor and clamps his hand over her mouth. His chin grazes Nesta's bare shoulder. It's prickly and unshaved, making her shiver deliciously. He notices and winks. They promptly leave so that chin of his can scratch at very specific places, leaving Gwyn and Azriel to do whatever...whatever they're up to these days.
"Nesta." She says seriously, eyes narrowed at a small set of blue-grey ones so identical to her own. "Nes-ta." Nyx just babbles happily, his chubby baby hands grasping her cheeks. "Aunt Nesta," she repeats seriously. "Say it with me." Her beloved nephew just pulls her lip.
"Absolutely not," she hears behind her, and Rhysand is coming around and taking his son into his arms. He lifts Nyx so that father and son are eye to eye, their faces so similar save for the Archeron eyes. "Dada," Rhysand tells Nyx. "Dada." Nyx just laughs. "This is serious, son," but a smile spreads across his face. Nyx mumbles something wordless.
Nesta shoves her shoulder against Rhysand's and takes Nyx back. "Aunt Nesta." She presses her nose to his tiny one. "Listen, kid, I'll settle for Aunt."
His baby shriek is music to her ears and Nesta can't help but blow the biggest raspberry on his cheek, making him squeal. She doesn't miss the soft look on Rhysand's face as he watches her with Nyx.
The next day a three-tier chocolate hazelnut cake from her favorite bakery is waiting for her. There's no note, but it doesn't need one.
Nesta, Cassian, Azriel, and Gwyn are having a beach day. When Nesta and Cassian arrive to already find Gwyn and Azriel clinking their cups in silent cheers, they look at each other and grin.
"Would you look at that," Cassian says under his breath so that only Nesta could hear him.
Nesta's eyes drift to Azriel's bare chest and stomach. "Is he flexing?"
Cassian's grin is near feral. "For damn sure." Then he asks, "Is Gwyn blushing?"
Nesta's grin matches her mate's. "For damn sure."
Azriel, Cassian, and Nesta are on a covert mission in the Autumn Court. Nesta and Cassian were here on official business, but no one knew Azriel was with them. He'd been spying in the shadows until Eris nearly caught him. Nesta, coming to the rescue as she does, shoves Azriel into a closet but it's tighter than she thought it would be with two bulking Illyrians.
"This is why you two aren't spies," Azriel mutters.
Cassian shoves Azriel as best he can in the tight space. "Big talk coming from the person who nearly got found."
Nesta, her ear pressed to the door, says, "It's way too tight in here. I can barely breathe."
Azriel, not missing a beat, says, "Can't possibly be tighter than the Caldron."
Cassian smacks the back of Azriel's head but Nesta's knees are buckling with the force of trying to smother down her laughter. In the end, they have to abandon the mission and Azriel winnows them away. When they land at The House, Nesta laughs herself hoarse and Azriel laughs with her.
The Valkyries are training on the roof with Cassian and Azriel, and Nesta realizes that this is her happiest place: this roof and these people. She walks up to Azriel, a chilled wind ruffling his hair, and she says, "If it's permission you're waiting for you don't need it."
He raises a brow at her. Nesta only pointedly looks at Gwyn who is slicing two white ribbons at once with perfect form. Nesta has never seen and never expected to see Azriel blush, but here he is, pink-cheeked and shuffling on his feet.
She bumps shoulders with him. "The only permission you need is hers, but you do have my blessing."
She expects him to respond with a quip about the all mighty Nesta bestowing her approval upon him, but a clear and relived look passes over his eyes. He gives her a grateful nod and Nesta knows when to not push a person anymore because Azriel looks like he's going to combust if she keeps talking about Gwyn to him.
She leaves him with this, "Believe me, Az, when I say that you have her permission." She doesn't miss his shadows dancing around him exuberantly.
Nesta didn't tell anyone she was coming here. She honestly didn't even know she was going to come here until her feet somehow found their way at the smooth gravestone. She'd never come alone. The two times she visited her father's grave–a stone really since his body was turned to ash–was once with her sisters, and the other with Cassian. She didn't know why she'd come today, but here she was yanking at the green grass. Maybe it was a call in her blood; like calls to like and all that Caldron bullshit. Maybe it was nothing at all and Nesta was alone talking to an empty stone.
Lazy, unhurried footsteps padded on the grass behind her. She knew those steps. Turning, she scowled and said, "What the fuck are you doing here?" she didn't mean for the question to sound so malicious, but her incredulous curiosity held an edge, a sharp bite.
Rhysand took it with a grain of salt. He shrugged, his hands ever in his pockets, and gracefully sat on the grass beside her. A safe distance apart. "I visit every once in a while."
Nesta was shocked. "Seriously?"
"Why? You didn't know him."
Rhysand took a moment to answer. "To try and understand him. Our stories begin with our parents, and understanding yours helps me understand my mate, and you, and Elain." He swallowed. "And understanding you three helps me take better care of you all. I like to tell him that his daughters are loved and cared for." Nesta was about to snipe at him for that, but he gave her a knowing look. "This is not me trying to be an overbearing asshole. But, I take care of my family. Like it or not, you and I are family Nesta. I didn't start off right with you, and I will never be sorry enough. But I want you to know that there is nothing I wouldn't do for you."
His words pierce her. He means every single word. They are words, she realizes, that she wanted her father to say. Promises she knows Rhysand will go to the mat to keep, but promises that were empty when coming from her own father.
Rhysand is everything their father was not. He went to every corner of the world in the hopes of finding something that would save Feyre and Nyx. There was no one he would not kneel before if it meant saving them. And that alone won Nesta's respect. She keeps his gaze and says, "You would have hated him."
They are silent as they look at the gravestone until Rhysand–a contemplative but resolved frown on his face–finally says, "I think you're right."
"You deserve Feyre and Nyx," she tells him softly. "And they deserve you."
Nesta laughs at Rhysand as he brushes a tear away.
Cassian shoves his shoulder against hers. "You be cool."
She shoves him back, her dress clinking with the movement. Her Starfall dress was a gift from Rhysand and she has to admit, the male has fantastic taste.
"If Gwyn and Azriel do show up together it doesn't mean anything."
Cassian scoffs. "Oh, it will definitely mean something."
Nesta tightens her fingers around his. "We can't make a big deal of it."
"Can I make a big deal of winning the bet?" Cassian smirks.
Nesta rolls her eyes. "You might not win."
Again, he scoffs. "Nes, babe, I am most definitely winning."
Again, Nesta rolls her eyes, but she can't help the bubble of excitement for her friend, her sister. Gwyn deserves this happiness. So did Azriel, who'd become her dearest friend outside of Gwyn and Emerie.
"Hold on," Cassian's voice is rough. He stops them before they go through the doors where Starfall is in full swing, tugging on her hand. Before she knows what's happening, Cassian has her in a closet. He shoves her roughly against the wall and a wicked thrill warms down her spine. His nose grazes the column of her throat and his voice is damn near gravel as he says, "I need a few moments before everyone starts battling each other for the first dance with you."
"You won't be fighting for that honor?" She's breathless, her head falling back to give him more access.
His lips hover over hers in the faintest of touches, and she's about to reach up and claim his mouth but he leans just out of her reach. His hand goes to her thigh, down her leg, bunching the silver jeweled dress. He wraps her leg around his waist and presses her harder against the door. "I don't need it. Everyone out there already knows who you're mated to. They're grasping at air." He squeezes her sides so tightly she gasps. "I'm not."
She doesn't even suck down a breath before his mouth is ravishing hers. The kiss is hard and bruising, his lips moving over hers in a patient roughness. He kisses her like he has thousands of years to do it, but refuses to wait. His tongue is languid yet fierce, sweeping over her own. She moans utterly indecently into his mouth, her hands fisting into his silken hair. His teeth graze her bottom lip and then he's biting down, taking it into his mouth. Nesta is about to tell him to just skip Starfall all together, but then the closet door is being opened.
Rhysand, his hand over the eyes of Nyx on his hip, is scowling incredulously at them. Nesta and Cassian have yet to fix their stance.
"Learn to knock, Rhys," Cassian growls.
"It's a fucking coat closet! You horny teenagers!"
Nyx laughs in his father's arms. He reaches his hands out for Nesta, and then what happens next ruins Rhysand's whole entire night.
Nyx’s very first word.
Rhysand's head whips down to look at his son, who is clapping and reaching for his aunt. "No." Rhysand is shaking his head. "This is my nightmare."
Nesta drops her leg from around Cassian, smoothes her dress, and does not fight the tears warming her eyes. They don't spill over, but they're there all the same. It started as a joke, trying to get her nephew to say her name first. It was all just to piss off Rhysand, but nothing could have prepared her for the overwhelming swell of love that would come from hearing her name come from her nephew. He doesn't know how much fear that name instills. He doesn't know how it is cursed and sneered and spat on. He only knows it's her name, his aunt who talks to him like an adult but tickles his sides. His aunt who always gives him an extra kiss. His aunt who he has no idea saved his life.
Nesta takes him into her arms, kisses his cheek, and she remembers how small he was when he was born, how he didn't cry. Whatever power is left in her, she calls on it. She doesn't know how it worked then and she doesn't know how it works now, but she doesn't give a damn. She will force it to bend to her will–all to bless the child in her arms. She kisses the center of his forehead and murmurs a demand. Not a prayer–a demand. "Be with him. Do not leave him. Protect him. Guide him."
Cassian is still as he watches and Rhysand has tears in his eyes.
Nesta just hoists Nyx on her hip and nods to the doors. "Are we going to this party or not?"
It's her favorite Starfall yet.
Feyre, when Rhysand told her of what happened, brought her into a bone-crushing hug. She forgets how much stronger her sister is.
Cassian and Nesta hover in a corner with the best advantage to spot when Azriel and Gwyn come. They try to look inconspicuous, laughing occasionally. Cassian mutters under his breath taunting things, and Nesta makes sure to give him a good view of her backside whenever she turns.
And then he's swatting eagerly at her arm. "Looklooklooklookloook."
Gwyn and Azriel, a much too causal distance apart, enter together. Azriel's hands are in his pockets, his eyes on Gwyn. The look on Gwyn's face takes Nesta's breath away. Her sister looks resplendent in a cobalt blue shimmering dress. Her face is lit with joy and the teal in her eyes has never been more vibrant.
With both their eyes trained on Azriel and Gwyn, Nesta wordlessly hands Cassian his money.
There was indeed a brewing fight for the honor to have Nesta's first dance of the night, but Azriel won with a simple death glare in his eyes. No one was as good as Eris, but Azriel is a very close second. He knows when to spin, when and where to step, and he's just plain fun to dance with. He is her friend, probably her best friend if she has to pick. Gwyn and Emerie don't count as friends to her–they are sisters.
Rhysand even cuts in for a dance. "I want to see what all the fuss is about," he says for an explanation. At the end of their dance, he's a little breathless and gives her a nod. "Yeah, okay. I get it."
She dances with Gwyn and they laugh until their lungs feel like bursting.
She dances with Feyre and Nyx, and Nesta can feel the healing between them.
When the stars fall, she is surrounded by family. Cassian's arm is around her, her head resting on his chest. In the corner of her eye, Gwyn and Azriel are standing much closer than they have all night.
At the end of the night, when the party nears its end, Nesta moves easily through the crowd. She's ready to disappear into her house and rip that three-piece suit off Cassian. He's shaking hands with someone she doesn't recognize and saying goodbye, so he doesn't hear her over the music as she creeps up behind him, her arms wrapping around his middle and hands running up his chest.
"You're wearing the hell out of this suit," she says onto his back and smiles as she feels his laugh and deep breath.
She nods, her fingers dipping past a few buttons and onto the skin beneath his shirt. "Your ass is spectacular."
He laughs and moves to look down into her eyes, a devilish glint in his hazel eyes. He turns her so that her back is to him. "My turn."
A guttural sound of approval and his mouth is ghosting the shell of her ear. "Yours is better." His hand drifts down her back, over the slope of her ass, and right as he's giving her a hard squeeze that promises what's to come, he's stepping around her.
His rough, calloused hands are gentle even in their light yet firm grip of her neck and face. His thumbs smooth under her eyes and the look in his eyes is intoxicating. It's knee-bending and breath-shuddering. "I love you."
Nesta grips his hands and kisses each of his palms.
And once was apparently not enough because he's leaning his brow against hers, breathing the same air. "I love you."
She smiles at him. A secret smile just for him. "Take me to bed."
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Credits: @jessdraw.s (instagram)
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People really be out there saying Azriel is the caring one and Cassian the wild one when Cassian spent all his early mornings slowly training Feyre to combat and Azriel straight up pushed her off a rock when she asked him to teach her how to fly
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all i’m saying is that i better see cassian being ✨obsessed✨ with his sexy bitch wife miss nesta archeron in the next book
or else 🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪
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Nesta: “You’re an arrogant bastard.”
Cassian: “And you’re a haughty witch. We’re evenly matched.”
The Cauldron, fully aware why they’re mates:
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Azriel : I am darkness. I am power. I am your worst nightmare. I could kill a man in more ways than you can imagine. I am the night. I am fury, I am a weapon, I am-
Nesta: An undercover sweetheart.
Cassian: My sweet cinnamon roll.
Gwyn: The love of my life.
Azriel: ...Stop it.
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stressing Cassian out
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Lounging Cassian pt.2
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That’s it. That’s the post.
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