POV: you're me in the morning.
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My cat: What are you eating? I want some! Give me!
What I’m eating: Literally deadly poison
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Dear cats: your water would stay cleaner and fresher longer if you drank from the FRONT of the fountain instead of the back, allowing your entire neck ruff to dangle in the water and thus clogging up the filter with your fur.
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What a diverse group on my nightstand. The spray bottle is for making sure that Ella knows how much of a bad idea it is to knock shit off by shelves in the wee hours because she wants food NOW.
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I mAdE A MisTaaKE--
I went home real quick during my lunch break and leaned on the bed to check my phone before my hour was over,,
SHE'S LITERALLY LAYING ON TOP OF ME-
I have to be back in like 10 minutes but I've been blessed by cat--
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
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“God gave you two hands so you can pet two cats at the same time”
I chant to myself over and over again as my 2 cats get more demanding and creative with their pets, and suddenly I need 7 hands
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Remembering that one time I went to a play with my family and I slow-blinked at the usher to indicate that I was not a threat.
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While snuggling my cat:
Me: *sniffing* why do you smell like coffee? I don’t even own any coffee….
Spud: mrow
Me: what, are you a wizard? Do you secretly turn into a man and go into coffeeshops when I’m not home?
Spud: *stares at me with his eye wide (he only has one)*
Me: …
Spud: *squirms out of my arms rapidly*
Me: 0.0
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Okay, you know what's my most favourite ship of all time? The OTP-iest of OTPs?
my cat x realisation that after living with her for 10 years, I'm really, really not trying to starve her.
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Me, casually singing metal songs around the house: 👿An old man grabbed me, clad in a velveteen cloak and hood...💀
*Sees my cat*
Me: ....😍Screaming fear and weeping blood..☺
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