« Atsushi's Past »
fandom ; bungo stray dogs, mention of shera: princesses of power
content ; analysis
includes ; atsushi & his past, akutagawa, the headmaster, dazai stereotyping, my thoughts about it
warnings ; manga spoilers, trauma?, abuse, ptsd
note ; feel free to give your thoughts about this topic, this randomly popped up in my mind while I was rewatching the series so yeah I might be wrong but hear me out, pls don't get offended!
So I have seen many people mainly stereotype him as a crybaby or some who never forgets about his past – as in those flashbacks that we get, of course, if you have read the manga then we see him improve quite a lot (hopefully) as soon as we see the headmaster's face soon getting replaced by Dazai, someone who he looks upon to as a role model. Even so, it pisses me off to no end when someone says that Atsushi getting those PTSD flashbacks are annoying like oh I am sorry, when you’re told that you’re no good and that those words keep hovering over your head, I don’t think all that abuse will be easy to forget?? It really never is. it's fortunate to see him improve but he's still insecure, even when he knows he's worthy of living now. It's slow but I am glad we see it.
I took 2 screenshots and it's a scene I quite think about a lot:
Yes, I watched a bit from Netflix and honestly, even though he is often known as a 'crybaby', I am glad he's able to express his emotions now.
In the Beast AU, we see him as a rather expressionless guy in my opinion – just as Fitzergald said, he's similar to Akutagawa. Now don't get offended here, I usually compare PM Dazai to the headmaster. I know Dazai used to be a bad person and so was the headmaster, but I feel like it was more of an "I am giving you the worst now so you get used to it and you get to know how to survive in hard circumstances" – a trick that wouldn't work either way because Akutagawa turned into a stoic man who pushes people away and doesn't feel remorse nor guilt, almost making him unhuman since humans are mainly known to be social animals and feel remorse right about when they're about to die or anything. Atsushi on the other hand meets someone 'nice' who saves him, the same person who saved Akutagawa but trained him for the worse, he does the opposite for Atsushi and trains him for the best knowing that ADA is a good place to start for an orphan like him.
And so, Atsushi learns that just what the headmaster said – was right, almost. Saving people was a good thing to do, the headmaster was quite right about that yet he also thought him how to survive for the worst and told him harsh things which messed up his mental state without meaning to. The headmaster knew he was wrong yet he didn't know how he could show it, and so he says, "Hate me all you like but never hate yourself" - he was right in the end after all.
But even so, after all the physical abuse and the negative words which were meant to be 'nice' got stuck in his head and kept replaying until he proved them right – that he was able to help others.
But till then, all those years he suppressed his emotions just like Atsushi – it's visible how he tried his best not to cry, it also showed when he made an angry face at the headmaster while he quoted the same thing above, almost like Akutagawa who mainly gets angry or remains emotionless. Not showing any 'vulnerability.
Another hint to this is from another show, she-ra/spop, where shadow weaver – someone like PM Dazai or the Headmaster says:
Because all of them thought it was for the best. They had managed to survive on their own, manage themselves and prepare themselves for the worst yet at the same time they gave them lessons which would stick with them like a curse until or unless they proved them wrong. This results to Atsushi giving away his life (no he's not dead) just so he can get liked by people or get accepted, to have a right to 'live' - which he already has/is yet he takes so much time to accept that. I mean it's understandable from his background but still.
In conclusion, Atsushi has come a long way through all that emotional, mental and physical abuse/manipulation and I am proud of him for that. I wanted to rant more but this is hella long and I forgot what I was gonna say so... I guess I will make a part two (sorry) if I remember anything and YEAHHH congrats for making it through this random rant. I just love him so much and he deserves the world.
The fact he's still 'normal'/'stable' and not always depressed or suicidal – even though Dazai gave him a rough lesson in s2, I think it was worth it – too much self-pity can cause the things I just listened and that's from experience. But still, it's really surprising but I am proud of him!
reblogs, comments and likes are appreciated! i hope you all stay safe and take care <3 // writing belongs to me! please do not plagiarize! the reblog button is always there for you to share :)
28 notes · View notes
I want to start by saying that I’m sorry for the long absence and the lack of activity! I wish I had an better reason to give you guys for this, but I simply don’t. I guess it’s just that I’ve moved on from spop critical stuff, spop shipping and spop as a whole. However, that doesn’t mean I’m done with this blog quite yet! At times, I get this sudden spark of inspiration to reblog more SPOP related things. So I’ll come back here from time to time.
Will I answer my remaining questions in my inbox?
Yes, but very slowly.
Will I still talk about anti Catradora, Glimmadora etc. related stuff?
Yes, but again at my own pace.
Will I create more SPOP NG content? Do memes etc.?
Maybe, but it really depends on my motivation, mood, etc.
How often will I come back to this blog?
Probably not often, but I will.
Can I still send you asks/opinions/memes etc.?
Of course you can! Send away!
Again, sorry about the absence you guys! My intentions for this blog was to not only get stuff off my chest, but for others to do the same, to have a voice. So seeing so many people still hurt about SPOP’s ending, it hurts me that I’m not even interested in a blog that helps them vent/rant anymore :( But I guess that’s the way it is sometimes? Maybe one day, I’ll start making more positive posts of other ships (including Glimmadora) other than negative post all the time like I used to? With that said, thank you to the people to stood around as long as you did as far as this blog goes!
I hope I can be motivated again soon!
22 notes · View notes