#cause I would genuinely be interested

[icewindandboringhorror]

I know this is just a silly bad quality random screencap of a screencap that I found on facebook lol, BUT it's a succinct enough image to easily describe the concept in a quick/accessible way hopefully :

-

(and of course, feel free to elaborate in tags, etc.! (especially elaborating about other senses as well.. can you "hear" in your mind just as well as you can "see"? taste? etc.) It's an interesting topic to me, as someone who's like a 4.5 at MOST lol. I'm curious what option will be the most common :0c )

#tumblr polls #hrmm... a little poll perhaps.. about a subject I find interesting.. since this image came across my facebook today #still really not feeling that well. no longer shaking violently and such but I still feel weird and weak much more than usual #They did say my markers for like infection or inflammation were elevated but that they werent sure of the cause so hopefully #it's nothing too serious. they did also say a lot of different things can cause that thing to be higher than normal but didn't go into spec #fics of what. maybe some of them are relatively benign or something. I still havent felt much back to normal since #I got really sick that one time though. I feel fine on and off but then little bouts of feeling weird and sick happen. hrmmm #ANYWAY.. looking for small ways to be productive. such as little doodles on evil ipad or editing game videos #or posting polls or cat pictures or some other like not very labor intensive things #I WISH I COULD FOCUS on writing HHRGGhh... I need to finish my game.. it would be so freeing.. a project that's been looming #over my head for like 5 years even though througouht that 5yrs I've probably spent a total of 3 months working on it lo.. ANYWAY #I still partially really cannot beleive that people CAN see stuff in their heads. There's always part of me that's thinking like. well mayb #e everyone DOES see the same exact thing but we just describe/conceptualize it so differently that we think we're talking about #different things when we're really not. But I have been assured by people I've talked to about it that they can GENUINELY really see #stuff in their heads like as vivid as an actual picture in real life or something. And the other senses are neat too. Like for exmaple I #can hear in my head much better than I can see imagery. I still CANNOT hear vividly like as if I were listening to actual music out loud.. #but I think it's developed more than my sight. AND interesting how this varies the creative process. a friend I was talking to on the phone #said they write by literally just watching stuff play before them like a movie. where my process is COMPLETELY different. AND that affects #the content/what details we focus on as well as our individual styles of writing have differences that can be traced back to that.. hrmm

[thefirstknife]

New article with more details (from Jason Schreier who first broke the story). If you can't see it, I'll copy the whole text under read more.

About 100 employees were laid off in total (8%) and one of the main reasons listed is "underperformance," "sharp drop in popularity" and "poor reception of Lightfall."

So you know when for the last year and a half content creators have been shitting and pissing on the game as a full-time job and the amount of negativity and ragebait content became the only thing to make content about for them? Well they certainly won't take the blame, but I will let it be known. These people either don't understand the influence they have or they do and they're doing it on purpose, and I don't know which of these two options is worse, but I am 100% confident that their campaign of rage and hate contributed to this.

You don't base your entire community around constantly hating everything about the only game you play (despite clearly not enjoying it anymore) and somehow avoid galvanising thousands and thousands of people into perceiving the game negatively. Imagine being employees who have barely worked there for 2 years and the only community reception they've seen is 24/7 hate train for their work and then they get fired because of "poor reception" and "drop in popularity." How can they not take that personally? I am absolutely devastated for these people who delievered a banger product and who were met with an unrelenting barrage of toxic gamer children which ended up having more sway over their boss than them.

Which brings me to the next bit and that's FUCK THE CEO. He is now my mortal enemy #1. I am projecting psychic blasts directly into his brain. What an absolute spineless coward who is more willing to bow down to fucking gamers than to protect his own employees. This is absolutely rage inducing because this has happened before. From the article from 2021 about the toxic culture at Bungie:

Reading this shit from the new article absolutely fucking sent me into blind rage because I immediately remembered this. Another instance of employees suffering because of comments on reddit. And because of toxic players. And proof that leadership is not protecting employees and is instead siding with players.

Match made in heaven. Asshole gamer content creators and asshole CEOs, all of whom sit at home on piles of money made from someone else's labour. I hope they all explode. None of the people that worked on this game deserve this.

Another article with an infuriating comment from the CEO:

In an internal town hall meeting addressing a Monday round of layoffs that impacted multiple departments, Bungie CEO Pete Parsons allegedly told remaining employees that the company had kept “the right people” to continue work on Destiny 2.

"Kept the right people." Really. Veteran composers weren't the right people? Die!

Bloomberg article in full:

Bungie’s decision to cut an estimated 100 jobs from its staff of about 1,200 followed dire management warnings earlier this month of a sharp drop in the popularity of its flagship video game Destiny 2. Just two weeks ago, executives at the Sony-owned game developer told employees that revenue was running 45% below projections for the year, according to people who attended the meeting. Chief Executive Officer Pete Parsons pinned the big miss on weak player retention for Destiny 2, which has faced a poor reception since the release of its latest expansion, Lightfall. The next expansion, The Final Shape, was getting good — not great feedback — and management told those present that they planned to push back the release to June 2024 from February, according the people, who asked not to be identified because they weren’t authorized to speak publicly. The additional time would give developers a chance to improve the product. In the meantime, Parsons told staff Bungie would be cutting costs, such as for travel, as well as implementing salary and hiring freezes, the people said. Everyone would have to work together to weather the storm, he said, leaving employees feeling determined to do whatever was needed to get revenue back up. But on Monday morning the news got worse: Dozens of staffers woke up to mysterious 15-minute meetings that had been placed on their calendars, which they soon learned were part of a mass layoff. Bungie laid off around 8% of its employees, according to documentation reviewed by Bloomberg. Bungie didn’t respond to requests for comment. Employees who were let go will receive at least three months of severance and three months of Bungie-paid COBRA health insurance, although other benefits, such as expense reimbursements, ended Monday, sending some staff racing to submit their receipts. Laid-off staffers will also receive prorated bonuses, although those who were on a vesting schedule following Sony Group Corp.’s acquisition of Bungie in January 2022 will lose any shares that weren’t vested as of next month. The layoffs are part of a larger money-saving initiative at Sony’s PlayStation unit, which has also cut employees at studios such as Naughty Dog, Media Molecule and its San Mateo office. TD Cowen analyst Doug Creutz wrote in a report Monday that “events over the last few days lead us to believe that PlayStation is undergoing a restructuring.” PlayStation president Jim Ryan announced last month that he plans to resign. Many of the layoffs at Bungie affected the company’s support departments, such as community management and publishing. Remaining Bungie staff were informed that some of those areas will be outsourced moving forward.

#destiny 2 #bungie #long post #and like i don't care what's anyone's opinion on lightfall. it doesn't matter #the expansion is fine. there's some bad shit in there as there is in every expansion #literally nothing on this earth was so bad to deserve the amount of vitriol that lightfall got #it was purely motivated by hate and rage from people who have clearly lost their interest in the game a long time ago #no one else normal enough would respond even to a weaker expansion this way. and lightfall wasn't even weaker #literally nothing ever released in destiny deserves to have comments bad enough to end up affecting employees #there's been some bad expansions/dlcs/seasons. whatever. none of them were like... gollum level. not even close #people genuinely treated lightfall like it personally killed their dog. it was insane. the reaction to it was insane. #it stemmed from people who should have stopped playing a long time ago and stopped being content creators for one game #i can't even properly explain just how long and tireless the ragebait content campaign for destiny has been #opening youtube and seeing 10 videos in a row of just complaining and bitching #opening twitter and seeing thousands upon thousands of posts and comments dedicated solely to hating the game #imagine being an employee trying to maintain some communication with the community #hippy was relentlessly bullied by people I've seen suddenly lamenting that she was fired. you caused this #they will never accept even a miniscule portion of the blame for this ofc. they will just keep claiming they don't have that influence #but they do. it's been proven years ago. in the same way #community comments DO reach devs and community comments DO influence what happens to them and the game #'the event is bad' 'meta is bad' 'pvp is bad' 'raid is bad' 'story is bad' stop playing. no longer asking. #it's a video game. if you hate it stop playing. you don't have to justify it to hundreds of thousands of people and take them with you #especially when it leads to employees taking the fall #so to all content creators who are appalled and baffled after spending 2 years hating the game: you did this. #and to the ceo even more: explode into dust and be forgotten

[caiabresebun]

3mos of trying to draw this guy 😔

#atsv #miguel ohara #spiderman 2099 #spiderverse #fanart #illustration #genuinely spending like all my free time poring over anatomy refs LOL. MUSCLES #sorry i have other interests too but miguel on da brain 24/7 #they really made a character specifically to kill me. like they knew the psychic damage it would cause #artists on tumblr

[bluehairperson]

Sometimes I see posts about how "I, Strahd" Tatyana has the personality of a cardboard but I don't think I agree honestly.

We only see her in very few scenes (all from Strahd's POV) and she's always very gentle and soft spoken.

Which makes completely sense since she was a lowborn orphan trying to make a good impression on her future brother in law, who is not only the ruler of the valley but also a feared war criminal. Of course she would try to be as nice as possible in front of him.

I also think that Strahd was extremely genuine in thinking he was in love with Tatyana, it's just that he never really knew her the way Sergei did. He only knew a facet.

#she went customer service mode #Strahd mentions that in the months she stays at Ravenloft he finds new reasons to fall in love with her day after day #so even if his attraction to her was absolutely superficial at first I do think he really liked her going on #he's so difficult to please I think he would have just tried to fish for other reasons to dislike her if his attraction wasn't genuine #especially because he really wanted to hate her before meeting her #also being just kind and gentle is a completely valid personality honestly #I don't think she's any less interesting or well rounded just because we're mainly shown that side of her #plus I say she's soft spoken but she also curses the gods when Sergei dies and immediately thinks of looking for Lady Ilona to bring himbac #so we could say she's also resolute and very quick thinking #also I was thinking of Tatyana as a general concept at first but then I remembered they completely changed her in 5e #so her dyamic with Strahd is obviously different cause they also knew eachother before Sergei arrived #because god fucking forbid 5e Strahd to fall in love with a peasant I guess #in the beautiful world in my mind I often forget I Strahd isn't the 5e canon oof #this post was brought to you by the Taty Appreciators Gang #not art #curse of strahd #strahd von zarovich #ravenloft

[finncakes]

barking and screaming and crying i cannot believe i have to wait like three weeks to see bells hells again

#critical role #cr #cr3 #chetney pock o'pea #orym of the air ashari #orym #ashton greymoore #fearne calloway #ashrym #you bet your ass i am sitting here thinking abt them and nodding to myself like 'yes exactly i was so right he WOULD say that.' #exactly as tender as my brain hoped...fuck yeah babey !!!!!! #also lotsa chet to make up for how little i've drawn him. #now that i figured him out i want to draw him more cause genuinely he's great and i find him really interesting #SUUUPER excited for these trials #i want to watch chetney go through the master sw ord trials and die #idk why i am convinced this will be like bo/tw master sw ord trials but look #go through 13 layers of hell chetney. do it now. #<- said with all the affection in the world #still sick but i finally have energy to scribble #cr spoilers #FUCK I FORGOT THAT TAG SO SORRY #ep doodles

[moongothic]

Do wanna say, I am actually really curious how Iva-chan would feel if the Dragodile Divorce went REAL BAD

'Cause they didn't know the two were in a relationship at all, right. (Otherwise, like, if Iva-chan knows about Crocodile having a kid then surely they'd realize that would've also been Dragon's kid and like. Understands that's Luffy etc) So as far as Iva-chan understands the situation, Crocodile may have been secretly slightly involved with the Revolutionaries for a period of time, had a kid out of the blue, transitioned, and either immidiately broke ties with the Revs entirely and fucked off to Alabasta, or kept on assisting the Revs in secret (possibly monetarily, being a sugar daddy and all 💰🐊💰) for however long in secret, only to pretty much betray them out of nowhere by attempting to take over Alabasta 17 years later Either way, surely Ivankov would've been deeply confused by this turn of events, right? Like what happened to him, why would Crocodile do any of this?

But if the straw that broke the camel's back and shattered Crocodile's psyche was the Dragodile Divorce going really bad, either from Dragon not being that accepting OR due to things going violent over a miscommunication... How would Ivankov feel about that?

Keep in mind, we've only ever heard Iva-chan talk about Dragon with nothing but adoration and respect. They sincerely hold Dragon in such high regard, can you imagine how badly either revelation could change how Iva-chan's views Dragon? 'Cause like, sure if Dragon's straight then that's one thing, but lashing out at his loved one? When he came out? At what might've been the most emotionally vunerable time of Crocodile's life (between the transing and the baby and having to leave his son forever. Y'know. Heavy shit)? Yeah, frankly speaking, Iva-chan would be completely justified in slapping the shit out of Dragon and giving him some choise words. Perhaps even some 💉 Karmic Punishment 💉 to teach a lesson Feeling disappointed in Dragon would be an understatement. But even if The Divorce happened due to a tragic accident (of Dragon attacking the strange man he has never seen before out of instinct when going to see his wife and child), it's been nearly two whole decades. Have the two even spoken since then? Like presumably not considdering Crocodile didn't even know who Luffy was. So if they haven't spoken at all-- did Dragon ever apologize? Or was he that much of a coward he couldn't face Croc and take responsibility for what he did? If so, that is absolutely pathetic and frankly irresponsible considdering the feelings he would've left Crocodile festering with.

Like either way, I'm deeply facinated how Iva-chan would take the news. How that could impact their relationship with Dragon, as well as how they've viewed Crocoboy for the past few years as well.

Because suddenly Crocoboy didn't just go bonkers out of nowhere, abandon and betray the Revolutionaries to try to do something monstrous for selfish gain. Suddenly, it was Dragon who abandoned Crocodile and left him all alone for nearly two decades, believing obtaining an Ancient Weapon was the only way to take down the World Government. Countless innocent lives that perhaps could've been spared in Alabasta had Dragon just fucking talked to his ex--

Yeah. I'm curious how Iva-chan would feel

#Moon posting #OP Meta #Sorry my brain is soup I can't form a coherent thought rn #Something about the mental image of Iva-chan getting fucking furious at Dragon on Crocodile's behalf #Just #I'm not crying shut up #Like if there is a scenario where Dragon genuinely needs to apologize to Crocodile for however the hell he fucked up #I think Iva-chan taking Crocodile's side and telling Dragon that he fucked up and needs to take responsibility would be like. Important #'Cause I think Iva-chan might be the only person in the world who could get Dragon to apologize (considdering how long they've been friends #Especially because Iva-chan might be the person who genuinely understands Crocodile's feelings the best #(Depending on how his egg got cracked and whether or not Iva-chan needed to help with that etc etc) #All of this to say; the Dragodile Divorce really would be more interesting if it went Real Bad. It would impact so many more characters #Another familiar question: What would Kuma have thought of it? How about Sabo and Koala? #But yes Iva-chan's reaction is the one I'd be the most interested in. Especially considdering like. IDK I kind of thought they'd have... #...a bigger role in Kuma's backstory but they actually kind of didn't. Like their friendship was not that important in the end #And a part of me deeply feels like Iva-chan should have a bigger role somehow in the story. Like they should impact things more #And yes if Crocodad Real then that alone would add to Iva-chan's role a whole bunch. But that would be like in past tense. #How about how things are going to go down from here on out? Yeah

[caus34concern]

christine liked jeremy ever since i love play rehearsal. i will not elaborate.

#be more chill #bmc #stagedorks #actually i will elaborate if anyone is interested #also i'm not saying this just because i like stagedorks #i genuinely have this whole thing mapped in my head about why christine would go out with jake #i feel like people ignore the squip saying “i assure you it is! only her fears and insecurities have been removed” #during the play when christine “confessed” #like is that not. an indirect way of saying she would've gone out with him if she wasn't so scared #just realized they removed that line in the bway version WHY. #cause for rambles

[akkivee]

once again thinking about my ideal 3rd drb match up and how it’d stack up with plot beats and so far all i got is

🔴💥⚪️: true hypnosis mic opponents, maybe jakurai ends up on a side for further development to save yotsutsuji and that’s against ichiro’s current goal

🔵💥🟠: haven’t quite figured out why, but rei vs samatoki is the angle i’m thinking about

🟡💥🟣: all plot stakes division vs no stakes division lol idk really but i’m leaning towards a bonds angle or if hypmic wants to be real freaky, the side effects angle 🤔

#this is vee speaking #i still think a new format could happen but idk lol there’s so many unknowns rn #like what’s next specifically lmao #i personally feel it would be a waste not to have jakurai working to finalise development for this potential other true hypnosis mic lol #like they teased him joining chuuoku but then didn’t commit?????? huh?????? #what about his struggle with causing more harm vs saving that one?????? like come on now?? #so here’s me trying to put him back on that track lol #why not sasara vs samatoki you might ask lol and my answer is that’s the poster fight but the real fight is between rei and samatoki lol #samatoki was weirdly interested in rei watching bb vs dh and there’s a panel in showdown battle where samatoki looks…… #he’s very hard to read actually while listening to ichiro #samatoki and rei are paralleling in the block party as individuals moved by ichiro’s ideals #so while i’m not sure if ichiro would be the reason to fight (🎋hahahaha🎋) i think there’s potential for strife #*sighs at bat* why doesn’t kr want to do anything with y’all lmao #if they went the side effects angle it’d be cool to have ramuda the guy whose clones die using the true hypnosis mic #vs kuukou who might be suffering from side effects (and against the guy that caused them tho he’s forgiven ramuda lol) #jyushi’s hypnosis ability to ‘recover’ is genuinely interesting because what is he recovering???? and why haven’t we seen it yet????? #maybe they’re lying in wait lol (delusional) #bonds angle is me grasping at straws lol but here’s how i can get my ideal match ups—

[skitskatdacat63]

I have to write a relatively long German paper, and man its just so difficult for me. The pro side is that I can pick any topic I want, so of course I picked Charles VI. But I've literally not written any German in months, and I'm almost 100% sure our prof doesn't actually read them. I should just write and submit boy king fic....

#i wish it was in English #bcs i would be very happy about it #but i have lost so much capacity for any German writing #bcs he sucks so much as a prof and has dropped the ball on actual language learning imo #how am i supposed to suddenly write a 7-8 pg paper after youve spent all our class time just lecturing at us #and giving us no real opportunity to really learn or test our skills #i shall.. probably just cheat. #LIKE i want to learn german so badly #but what the fuck is the point of even trying when i know im not going to get actual feedback on my writing #why should i even try at that point. put that much effort in and know that he doesnt really care at all #it just sucks so much bcs i genuinely love and am so fascinated w the topic #but the idea that id put so much work into translating it only for him not to read it really kills me #again. just submit boy king fic and see if he notices sjfkgllblb #but do you know what i mean? like im sure ill write a good version in english that i think is actual good content #but translating it is such a lost cause bcs all the effort is reallt for nothing #like atp im jusy interested in the history more than making an effort w the language #ugh i wish i wasnt this way but yknow lack of stimulation anf feedback really kills my enjoyment and interest #like see i can convince myself that thr eng version of teh paper is my typical personal research #<- i mean im making a fucking family tree for funsies so this isnt that far off #but the translation part is so difficult bcs my german has been eroding a bit SOB SOB #lol anyways i say this bcs i was plotting a boy king fic in my head as i was goong to bed #and was like oh i shoulf write it out tmr! and then remembered I HAVE AN ESSAY UGH #well yeah. suffering. we'll see how i feel abt i write the original copy and if i have the capacity to germanify it #i just feel so guilty about it. cheating. I dont want to and it feels so low effort and terrible #but why would i force myself thru all that for a guy who barely reads it #catie.rambling.txt

[perenlop]

this is gonna sound so backhanded but after 3 letdowns in a row from pokemon (followed by a game which isnt terrible but i dislike because of how much it fucked up the plot of sm), then a game that i genuinely really love and want more in the style of and largely because of how it deviates from the main series, im genuinely so shocked that i love scarlet and violet as much as i do. like when i was going through that tutorial i was just cautious and waiting for the other show to drop and be bored at best, but like, graphic glitches aside, it never came. it stayed really fun and charming

#like is it acceptable that it came out so glitchy when its a $60 console release? absolutely not #i think the game has a lot of issues and i dont blame people for not being happy with it #but i think what makes this better than swsh to me is like. swsh sorta feels like it was made out of obligation sometimes #like. tpci and gamefreak treated galar like a kid would treat an art project in a medium they werent interested in #but they were being harassed for that good grade so they powered through and hated the result #and sorta just tried to hide it when they got home from school that day #not that there isn’t anything to like about galar or it has no substance whatsoever but when i played it i couldnt shake the feeling #that gamefreak was embarassed of it. like they did not want to linger too much on this game #i think the anime switching format was a good idea in the end cause just putting ash in another gauntlet after he won the alola league would #would have been weird but its veryyyy telling to me that they changed the format so drastically #that we didnt even spend all our time in galar. their home base wasnt even in galar #and in the game they emphasize that kantos got better pokemon and everyone loves them better and theres not a whole lot to do #and there was always just this feeling of insecurity and dissatisfaction with it #and for all its faults- i cant say the same thing about scvi. this game oozes with charm and care #the writing feels like someone genuinely cared about these characters and wanted the best for them and the story #the gameplay feels more involved and confident. they got more experimental with the format #idk it feels like people LIKED working on this game to a degree and wanted the player to have fun #echoed voice

[warlordfelwinter]

there is just So Much worldbuilding going on in palia

#i am genuinely really enjoying this game #i still wish it wasnt online cause it just makes it run so janky when theres like. anyone else online #but im having enough fun that it balances out #and it being free helps me overlook jankiness #the story seems very intriguing and the npcs are all so developed with their own personalities and stuff #the art style and gameplay are delightful #i think narratively it would be more interesting solo bc then we'd be the Only human but #ive just learned magic is illegal and im going to go talk to a cat man in the black market #this is a farming sim #fel's palia

[fairmerthefarmer]

Dryads

#in my head narnian dryads would generally present as feminine most of the time but their concept of gender would be very fluid #this was mostly just a way to practice drawing various body types #also #part of the reason I really didn’t catch on to me being not straight #is because as someone who loves to draw and loved art I genuinely think most bodies are aesthetically pleasing #I just didn’t realize I was also attracted to them #so I didn’t get flustered about it like I did with men cause I didn’t even think it an option #ALSO being bisexual but also an artist helps SO much with my body self image #especially since gaining weight while on meds #cause I’ll see a woman my size or larger and be in love #and realize that if I find someone like that attractive someone probably will see me this way #but people are people and they’re just so so interesting to look at to me #I get a lot of joy in seeing the diversity in bodies #ANYWAY #my art <3 #artists on tumblr #forest dryad #character sketches #character design #narnia #sketchbook #queer artist #lgbtq #fairmerthefarmer art

[sea-jello]

errm uhh augh how have you guys been long time no see. annotated young morro design be upon ye

without the bg cause you can see the sequins better with the bg but you can also see the words better without the bg

#after prophecy to leaving he would either obsess over being clean even in the middle of training #cause it’s ‘unfitting for the green ninja to look anything other than perfect’ or whatever #and being dirty shows he wasn’t good enough cause someone got a hit on him or something #or he would just either forget or not care about basic needs like showering and sleeping cause he’s too obsessed with the prophecy #cant really decide #after leaving/ghost morro will be out. maybe soon #morro tag is DEAD by the way is anyone still here #i’m one to talk i havent posted anything either #it’s cause i’m back in my 2020 purpled bedwars era #he was my fav long before las nevadas 🤞🤞 #and las nevadas purpled is INTERESTING genuinely #i was never one for lore streams but now that i learned how to have patience and how to kill cringe i’ve been watching his #i dont actually really know what the deal is with las nevadas i’m just watching purpleds bits #i’m halfway through but i know what happened but also don’t tell me anything #if anyone here even knows what i’m talking about #i can’t really call myself a dsmp kid cause i started watching before all the stuff started i think even before wilbur joined #and didn’t really watch the lmanberg streams just sorta generally knew what was happening #then completely dropped watching it when they started politics #i watched the content creators INDIVIDUALLY but not the dsmp lore itself #there’s too much it’s too much of a hassle #if anyone calls me cringe you literally cannot talk this is a season 5 lego ninjago character #and also it was covid it’s like a rite of passage to be into mcyt during covid #i know there’s a pipeline from mcyt to kids shows. i know there’s one out there #there’s definitely one from mcyt to musicals what with hamilton and all #ninjago #lego ninjago #morro ninjago #ninjago morro #morro wu #jellos scribbles

[shakestheclown]

y'all who actually have partners,, what is a text ice breaker to start conversation? im really bad at it 😭

it feels important to note that when we do talk, the conversation flows great we have a nice rapport and complimentary senses of humors it's just starting the conversation that is the problem i think we are both just painfully shy 😔 (and maybe traumatized .)

#all my friends have offered is 'send a meme' which just gets me a heart react which is nice and all but i wanna SPEAK TO THEM. #and ive also done ~little random updates of my day~ which also works but on my days off i dont DO anything so i cant be like . #hey i rotted in bed all day what did you do #i feel like he's interested but shy ?? i guess ?? or maybe unsure if i feel the same way so he doesnt rly initiate #he did the other day just send me a photo of him working as a little life update which i took as a good sign :) and it sparked a short conv #i just dont know what to talk about or rather i wanna talk about literally everything but i dont wanna be annoyingggg #i dont know whats annoying and what isnt i guess is the main issue #he just got back from a 2 week work trip thing like working nonstop and normally we'd both be free tuesdays (tmrw) but since he JUST got #back today i figured it would be rude and/or seem desperate or clingy of me to ask if he wanted to hang this week #am i just crazy ?? oftentimes yes #it's also 10pm on a monday so i couldnt ask now anyway BUT I WOULD STILL LIKE TO JUST TALK #BUT I DONT WANNA BE ANNOYING all ive ever done in the past is annoy ppl or come off too 'weird' by just trying to get to know them #AND I DONT WANNA MESS UP THIS TIME CAUSE I THINK I DO GENUINELY LIKE THIS GUY IVE JUST NEVER BEEN IN THIS POSITIONNNNN #ITS NEVER FELT REAL #OK BYE

[simarcana]

I'm considering whether to continue posting Arcana Mundi or not so if you see the posts disappear don't ask questions

#VERY IMPORTANT: It's not a pick me post it's all very genuine im just a weird person #i like arcana mundi but the second and third post barely hit 20 notes #And it's not a “big numbers!!” thing i just want to share something my mutuals would be interest in!! Cause i like to chat abt it #maybe i should stick on photosets and lookbook? #arcana rambles

[chrisbangs]

hello... (and bye ig 👋)

#👋😭 hi... #i haven't come on in about a month and i didn't realize a month passed by like that... i've kinda stopped using any apps on my phone #i barely even talk to my friends anymore lol 😭 #i just saw my follower count this morning and realized i hit 13k and i was like 🥸 huh... #uhhhhhhh 😭 idk i wanted to say thank you i guess 🫂 #i'm done with stayblr and tumblr in general 😭 this much has been obvious for a while now... i tried to fit myself back in during 5star but #i think i realized i've outgrown the vibes here and in online spaces in general... i don't really enjoy it anymore 😭 which is weird cause #i've used tumblr since i was in middle school so 🫡 end of an era some would say... #i think it sucks because i don't have the same feelings about this place or skz or anything in my life right now... i tried to ignore it bu #it's so obvious now that the entirety of december passed without me really talking to a single person / without me using social media / #without me really doing much except for like homework and assignments lmao #i think genuinely i've stopped enjoying everything i used to like and i don't know why 😭 it hit me the other day bc i don't even enjoy #pc collecting anymore which is CRAZY considering how much time and money i've put into that hobby so 👋🥸 who knows what goes on #i haven't consumed any skz content since rockstar dropped 😭 and that also feels weird to me... idk... i would say maybe i'm going through a #depressive episode but i don't really feel how i do then... i think i'm just tired like i always am and that's just how i am now .. i think #i'm just not really interested in things anymore? weird but .. yeah idk😭 if i knew what was wrong i would Fix It sndjdndkd mostly i'm just #sad because i haven't been talking to friends... i keep ignoring everyone and not replying to any texts from anyone because ???? #i tell myself i will do it later but i know i won't ... idk i genuinely don't know why i'm struggling to talk to ppl anymore 😭 i've become #even more of a reclusive hermit than i already was 💀 and the worst part is i feel normal abt it #i don't feel /bad/ i just feel guilty that i'm not replying to ppl bc i don't want to hurt ppls feelings... on my end i feel Normal abt it #like i ??? is it weird that i'm so detached from everything that not even a month ago made me so happy..? that's weird right 😭 like idgi #i don't feel (as) depressed (as i usually do) but clearly ?? smth is wrong ?? like ik i'm not a clingy sentimental person but ? it kinda #makes me sad wondering if i really don't care abt ppl anymore ... but i think 😭 it's also the object permanence issues that come with adhd #not seeing or talking to the ppl i love . not doing my hobbies or seeing the groups i care abt . makes it easy to not care or forget what #they make me feel etc etc ... i get it... but idk 😭 if that's what this is . well wow it sucks ASS.. cause i feel guilty for not feeling #anything at all ... 😭 idk how to explain that HENSKDNISJS anywayyyy 💀 #i came on cause i wanted to say thank you for 13k followers 😭‼️ and that i probably will not be online anymore unless i really want to say #this was a really long winded way to say i feel bad but i'm done with stayblr fr 👋🥸 i tried so hard for the last 2 years to make it feel #like home again but it stopped ages ago so 🥹 that's ok.. i still cherish my memories here 🫂 anyway thanku and sjsjsksksks bye i guess 😭 #who knows maybe i'll enjoy it one day again and come back :') never know what the future holds 🫡