#cause he has a lot of things to be upset about

[sergle]

Every time YouTube nonsense happens I'm always like "I can't wait to see what Sergle says about this" because you're the only person I follow that talks about YouTube nonsense.

Please take this is an invitation for you to talk about the Watcher's apology video lol

I am a filthy youtube enjoyer so you can absolutely count on me and GODDDDDDDDDDD... I mean the apology is not NEARLY as funny as the blunder, so it hasn't kept my attention as much but like the obligatory upfront thing is that, like, it is good that they posted it, they apologized for being insensitive and whatever, they're not scraping their channel clean or going forward with their old plan to only post their shows on their own platform, and these are technically good and correct things, because they could have pretended not to notice all the negative feedback. So like, responding is good. BUT LIKE I HAVE QUESTIONS NOW... Because they took SO LONG to film and upload a video that basically is just "we fucked up, we're sorry, we're not gonna do that anymore", which doesn't exactly take a writer's room several days to cook, but I DIGRESS... They were quiet for long enough for everyone to LOOK REALLY CLOSE. After the initial reaction, people had time to do some pretty comprehensive cost breakdowns for their stuff, and for what they have to be pulling in from adsense, sponsored segments, patreon, merch, and touring Like, they'd need to be really mismanaging their finances, because they're doing very well for themselves, making good, stable money, and the vids they make are super duper advertiser friendly. SO... you take long enough without putting out a holder statement or a quick heel-turn apology or anything, it gives people more time to get comfortable with not liking you, and also to dig around and google things about you, or scrape up info/trivia about you to corroborate their new opinion of you. It gets personal, is what I mean. So pulling this move has still, at BEST, caused some permanent damage to their relationships with fans, in both directions. They all got a huge flood of negative feedback, and even a perfect, emotionally mature, non-entitled person would have a negative reaction to people being upset with them at such a high volume. But now they're gonna remember the things that people have said about them, and there's no way that at the very least, Steven isn't gonna feel spiteful about this. People TOTALLY unloaded on him (funny) (valid) about his evangelical christian conservative leaning tesla privileged out of touch boy gold flaked ice cream eating ways. He definitely is going to remember that ppl said they never liked him in the first place. As for Ryan and Shane, people didn't have any dirt on them, but they definitely still received a lot of angry messages from people, most of which will have been reasonable, but they're gonna remember the really really mean and intense ones. Anyway, they made a booboo dumb enough for jack to want to make a skit about it, so for that I'm very grateful, because I thought it was really really fucking funny

#it's no big deal and it's whatevs because it's Low Risk youtube scandal which is why I like it so much #but it still never fails to amaze me how much this didn't need to happen #like this would have been a totally preventable blunder. I can think of a million different ways to increase profit before trying this move #personally I think it's funny to mess up this badly because the Second Messup would be to respond REALLY quickly #You see it trending and you immediately need to act bc it will only get worse the longer you stay quiet #sergle answers #long post

[avonne-writes]

Hey! I've been loving all of your MOTA posts lately, especially your insights into Gale and his unhappy childhood. Do you think there are any specific ways that the trauma from that bleeds into his domestic life with Bucky? Any nerves that sometimes get struck on without Bucky realising that's what they are?

Thank you so much! Yes, my headcanon is that this happens sometimes. I came up with a few examples, but there could be more.

In a post-war canon AU:

Gale is shit at expressing his emotions because he learned to suppress them. Post-war, this causes a lot of problems. The silent treatment is not a constructive way of solving disagreements.

If he wants to talk to Bucky / it's dinner time or similar situation and Bucky doesn’t pay attention to him because there's a sports event on the radio, Gale flips out. Unreasonably so.

Interestingly, he doesn’t have a problem with drunk Bucky initiating sex with him but only if he does it in the bedroom or bathroom. Drunken advances in the kitchen, the hall or the living room make his stomach roil. It’s very specific, and given Gale’s communication issues, Bucky is thoroughly confused why he’s so roughly turned down sometimes while Gale is on board on other nights.

This isn’t a negative thing, but Gale is obsessed with soft beds and blankets. He isn’t very picky about furnishing their place but the bed has to be perfect. After so many nights spent on hard surfaces both as a child and as an adult, he craves this comfort. He’s all smiley and cuddly when he’s in that bed.

In my HS AU, when they move in together during college:

Gale jumps at every loud crashing sound, especially glass shattering. He’s withdrawn for hours if someone accidentally breaks a glass or a plate.

Once, Bucky comes home drunk from a party in the middle of the night, and it scares him. He’s instantly on high alert and won't sleep much after. Actually, he moves to the couch that night. When Bucky realizes what happened, he’s very apologetic, but it's not the last time he goes to a party without Gale. But from then on, he stays out all night, sleeping at friends' places. It really upsets Gale but he only tells Bucky this months later, when everything comes to a head. After that, Bucky doesn’t do this anymore.

Gale is triggered by the sight of empty booze bottles. Full ones he doesn’t mind, but empty ones make him anxious.

Gale doesn’t know how to decorate and make a space welcoming so he doesn’t understand why Bucky grouches about their apartment being too sparsely decorated in the first few months. Then, when he finally starts to get more into homemaking, he’s nervous to share any ideas, even small ones - e.g. he spends long minutes staring at souvenir magnets because he doesn’t know which one works best or he agonizes over choosing a frame for a photo.

#mota #buck x bucky #clegan #gale cleven #john egan #hs au #anon #gale's childhood

[blackbirdi]

One-Sided pt. II

If you haven't read the first part already, the link to part 1 is here

I'm so sorry this took so long, guys, I was struggling with ideas. Anyways, enjoy :)

Brief Description: Sirius begins to notice how suddenly you're around him a lot less than usual. What could he have done to make you want to avoid him at all costs? And why does your avoidance hurt him this much?

Point of View: 3rd Person

Word Count: 2181

Character: Sirius Black x Reader

House: Gryffindor

Year: Sixth Year

Two weeks. It had been two weeks since Sirius has talked to Y/n last, and it's driving him up the wall. The only other time where he doesn't talk to her for that long is during the summer, but at least they owl back and forth non-stop, and now suddenly he hasn't heard her sweet voice in two damn weeks.

And it's not as though he hasn't tried to talk to her. Hell, he's been going out of his way to run into her just to ask what was up with her, but every time she sees him, she runs away. And now she's changed the time of her daily activities (going to the library to read/study, walk in the courtyard, visit Hagrid, etc.) – not that he knew the times she was going by heart before she changed them – so now he can't even run into her then.

Two weeks. Two damn weeks. And he's not going any longer without her.

It was Saturday and the Marauders were all hanging out in their dormitory, and Sirius was itching to find Y/n and beg ask her to forgive him for whatever he must have done to have her ignore him like this.

"Remus," Sirius calls, breaking the silence.

"Hm?" Remus hums, not even bothering to look up from the book he was reading, which only caused Sirius to grow more frustrated.

He closes his eyes before he snaps at Remus, taking a deep breath to calm himself. The only thing that does is cause his eyes to well up with tears. 

Godric, what was up with him? Was Y/n really causing him to get this upset?

When he speaks next, his voice breaks, which causes all the other Marauders to lift their heads and look at Sirius with concern.

"Why won't Y/n talk to me?"

The other three Marauders share a few glances at one another before looking back at Sirius. The pity in their eyes as they look at him causes Sirius to grow frustrated once again.

His eyes, which were previously filled with tears, harden as he wipes them away. His lips pull back into a thin line as he glares down at his own hands.

"She keeps avoiding me! I haven't said anything to her in weeks!" he cries angrily. "And even when I do say something to her, she just ignores me and runs off! Did I do something to make her mad at me?"

"I'm sure you didn't do anything, Padfoot," James tries to comfort him. "Maybe Y/n just needs space for a while."

"Space from what?" Sirius snaps. "What did I do that would've wanted her to space herself from me? And only me! I haven't seen her ignoring you three, or anyone else for that matter! What did I do!?"

“Pads –” Remus starts, but is quickly interrupted.

“Why do you care so much anyway?” James asks. “It’s just Y/n.”

Sirius, Remus, and Peter all shoot James a glare, all three of them knowing that was not the right thing to ask.

“Yeah, Y/n, my friend,” Sirius sneers. “I care because Y/n is one of my closest friends and now suddenly she’s ignoring me! Do you have any idea how much that hurts? Because it does, a lot.”

“We know, Padfoot,” Peter replies, trying to make his voice sound comforting, although to Sirius it sounded more like pity. “I think James was trying to ask why you’re so … no quiet over dramatic about it … but more upset than you normally would be about something like this.”

“Yeah,” James agrees. “That’s exactly what I was trying to ask, thank you, Pete.”

Sirius glares at the both of them, his teeth gritting together as he tries to hold back from snapping at the two of them.

Why was he upset? Really? One of his best friends just straight up ditched him! Of course he was fucking upset!

“How do you twats not understand that I am upset my friend has fucking abandoned me!” Sirius snarls, his voice wavering as he tries to control his anger.

The others share another, worried glance, which drives Sirius even more insane.

Of course, Remus, James, and Peter quickly caught on that Y/n was avoiding Sirius, and were even quicker to catch on why. It wasn’t that hard to see that Y/n had finally had enough of her silly little crush on Sirius and was trying to stomp it out by avoiding him. And of course, Moony, Prongs, and Wormtail knew that avoiding Sirius at all costs wasn’t going to get rid of Y/n’s feelings for Sirius. And of course, Lupin, Potter, and Pettigrew knew that Sirius’s own feelings towards Y/n were developing beyond friendship.

“I can talk to her if you want me to,” Remus offers.

The usual stormy grey of Sirius’s eyes had darkened considerably in anger, his eyes narrowing at Remus in a glare.

“You’ve done quite a lot of talking to her,” he hisses. “A lot more than I have in Merlin knows how long. Do you know how frustrating that is, Remus? To see that Y/n, who suddenly hates me, is still all buddy-buddy with the three of you? Do you know how shitty it makes me feel when I see her talking to you and then she immediately runs away whenever she sees me? Do you?”

“No,” Remus replies, his voice squeaky at the anger in Sirius’s tone.

"That's what I thought," Sirius snarls, standing up from his bed abruptly.

With quick strides Sirius finds himself at the dormitory door, the door opened an inch before Peter asks curiously, "Where are you going?"

"To fucking find her!" Sirius snaps, turning around and facing his friends. "I can't keep going like this, without her. I - I need her, okay? I need her because ... because I love her. I love her. Holy shit, I love Y/n. I'll be back guys, but I need to find Y/n, even if that means searching every nook and cranny of this godforsaken castle."

He's out the door in another split second, the door slamming closed behind him.

Silence settles over the other three as they share glances, confused evident on each of their faces.

"Well," Remus finally mutters, breaking the silence. "He handled that a lot better than Y/n did when she realized she was in love with Sirius."

–––––––––––

To Sirius's surprise it didn't take him that long to find her. She was sitting in the courtyard, leaning against the truck of a tree with a book on her lap.

Sirius was careful to approach her quietly, not wanting her to spot him and jump up and run away (like she had been doing for two weeks straight).

When Y/n finally looked up from her book, the first thing she saw was Sirius looming in front of her. Her eyes widened as they made eye contact, scrambling to pick up her book and getting to her feet.

"Y/n, wait," Sirius snaps, grabbing onto her wrist with a vice-like grip before she could run away. "Please, don't run again, please."

Y/n sighs, trying to tug her wrist out of Sirius’s grip before she turns and faces him for the first time since the Quidditch game. Her struggling ceases as she sees the pain behind Sirius’s eyes, the pain that she would’ve caused every single time she ignored him or ran away.

“Please, Y/n/n,” he begs in a whisper, pulling her closer to him. “Please, don’t leave me again. I miss you so much. And I am so, so sorry if I did something to hurt you, or did something that made you want to avoid me. I never meant to, I don’t think I have done anything, but if I did just say the word and I will hold myself responsible for it and I will do anything I can to get back in your good graces because I miss you. So, so much. I hate that I haven’t seen you in two weeks, I hate that I haven’t talked to you in two weeks, I hate that I haven’t heard your voice in two weeks, and I hate that you’ve been avoiding me. I’m not blaming you because obviously it must have been something I did, but please Y/n, please, please, please stop avoiding me. I miss you.”

A wave of guilt washes over Y/n as she listens to Sirius, watching tears well in his eyes as it gets increasingly harder for him to talk without choking on his words. However, she can't help the little flutter her heart gives at his words.

Sirius takes a breath, trying to collect himself as he finally says everything he was feeling.

"And-and I hate how much it hurts that you've been doing this. I shouldn't care, I really shouldn't, but I do. I care so goddamn much, Y/n. It's been two weeks, two fucking weeks! I shouldn't be this effected, but I am. I've missed you more in two weeks more than I've missed anything else in my life, more than I miss the Marauders during the holidays, more than I miss Hogwarts during the summer, more than I miss the heat of the summer during the winter, more than I miss the sun in a rainstorm. I missed you, Y/n, and it's only been two weeks. So please, please, please, please, tell me what I did wrong so I can right it and we can go back to how we were before whatever I did."

A pause, a heartbeat before Sirius adds in a trembling voice, "Please."

Y/n takes a shaky breath, trying to stop the heat from rising in her cheeks and giving her away.

"Sirius," she says slowly.

"Please," he interrupts her, his voice breaking. "Please, Y/n. I don't know what I did, but whatever it must have been, I am so sorry. Please, please, please forgive me."

"Sirius," Y/n repeats, "you didn't do anything. I just... I realized something and I shut myself away from you. If anything, I should be saying sorry to you. I never meant to hurt you like this."

Sirius stares at her, confusion bubbling up within him as he listens to her explain.

"I-I don't understand," he admits in a quiet voice. Her stares up at her helplessly. "Why would you avoid me like you have if I didn't do anything? You haven't avoided the others, just me."

Y/n sighs, her heart thudding in her chest as she looks away from Sirius and finally admits in a small voice, "I'm in love with you."

The world stops, for the both of them.

Y/n can't breathe, why would she admit that!? Everything, everything, has been ruined. She ruined their friendship! Why would she do that!?

Sirius can't breathe, did she mean it!? Everything, everything, is going to change, for the better. She felt the same! But why did she avoid him if she loved him?

After what felt like hours of silence, Sirius responds, "I love you, too."

Sirius's heart pounds against his ribcage. Even though she said it first, it's still so hard to admit it.

Y/n's heart pounds against her ribcage. There is no way in hell that he actually feels the same.

"I – w-what?” she stutters, mouth dry.

“I love you too,” Sirius repeats, dropping her wrist. His hands come up to cup her jaw, holding her face in his hands as he smiles down at her. “I-I was thinking about how much I missed you, everything about you – not just your presence – and I guess that led me to realize that I would never feel this way about someone I thought of as my friend. Y/n/n, I realized that I’m in love with you.”

Y/n mirrors Sirius’s smile, relief flooding through her body as her cheeks flush with pink.

“I-I’m glad,” she whispers. “I was scared that you didn’t feel the same; that’s why I started avoiding you. I thought that if I was around you less my feelings would go away, which obviously didn’t work. But I was scared to say something in case I made things awkward between us.”

Sirius chuckles, pressing his forehead against hers, asking in a soft voice, “How could I not be in love with you? You, Y/n L/n, are the most kind, thoughtful, caring, smart, funny, beautiful woman in the whole world; I don’t know how I didn’t realize my feelings for you sooner. I love you.”

“I love you too, Sirius,” Y/n murmurs back. She closes her eyes, relishing in the feeling of Sirius being this close to her.

A comfortable silence fell over the two as they soak in each other’s presence, two hearts beating as one.

Two minutes. It has been two minutes since Sirius has admitted his feelings for Y/n, and it’s making him feel like he’s on top of the world.

Taglist: @littleshadow17 (who asked for a part 2 a month ago. I hope it was up to your standards lol). And @rosieandthethorns (who didn't asked to be tagged but I figured I should let you know so you can stop foaming at the mouth and writhing on the floor lmao)

#i'm sorry i took so long in getting this out guys #my writing brain wasn't writing #sirius black #sirius black x reader #sirius black x y/n #sirius black x you #sirius black fanfiction #sirius black imagine #marauders era #padfoot #requited love

[tiredfox64]

🔆 you’re popping off. your writing rocks brah.

I was hoping maybe you could do Raiden and Kung Lao fighting over readers (fem/afab) attention. Like back and forth jabs. And like Kung Lao trying to show off, kinda talks down on raiden in front of her. where as Raiden takes a more gentle approach with helping the reader with their training, helping her with her form he’ll glance at Kung Lao knowingly. It builds a small wedge between them, so reader decides to invite both over one night. And like you know that movie challengers? Like the zendaya scene where she’s got the two guys kissing her? Like THAT. LIKE THAT. If you can do this. I’ll piss rainbows. 🌈

Are You Challenging Me?

Prior notes: I had only the trailer to work off of so I hope I got things right. Also what a statement from you at the end. It’s not bad it’s unique and I like it.

Pairings: Kung Lao x Afab reader x Raiden

Warnings ‼️: Suggestive at the end

Even those who have been friends for so long can end up fighting over something. That something could be a girl. That girl would be you.

No one has ever seen Raiden and Kung Lao turn a friendly competition into a serious one. Constant bickering and jabs at each other that turn to hisses from nasty remarks. You would only see this kind of tension from middle school boys or some cheesy teen movie from the 2000s. Ah but boys will be boys. Who can blame them?

You are the prettiest girl they’ve ever seen. Not just that but you are tough and always willing to learn more. That’s why you train with them so much. Well, it used to be training. Things have changed since you came around. Mostly their attitude and their closeness.

You knew Kung Lao was cocky and boastful, even for a Shaolin monk. The things he did in front of you made the other monks groan in frustration and caused Raiden to shake his head in disapproval. He was always calling for your attention.

“Hey! Hey! Look! I can spin as fast as a tornado!” “Check this out! I can beat up five guys at once!” “I bet Raiden can’t strike as fast as I can! What do you think?”

That was the usual stuff you would hear. Though comparing himself to Raiden was mostly common. He would put Raiden down the moment he had the chance. It would go beyond fighting and go into ridiculous stuff.

He can eat more than Raiden. He can jump higher than Raiden. He can stay up later than Raiden. Everything Raiden could do, Kung Lao could do better. He’ll prove it again right now.

Kung Lao ran up to you and Raiden, almost crashing right into him.

“Hey Raiden, how about another fight? Whoever loses has to pay the next time we visit Madame Bo’s.” Kung Lao was hoping he would say yes just so he could beat Raiden up.

“I can’t, Kung Lao. Can’t you see we are busy?”

“Oh I see. You’re afraid of losing again. Bet you’re afraid of embarrass yourself in front of her. Don’t worry, I get it.” He patted Raiden on the back before letting out a laugh like he successfully humiliated him.

“That’s not it,” he rolls his eyes before speaking, “I’m helping her with training right now. We can fight soon just let me finish up here.”

Raiden loved to help you and you were grateful for that. Though it always seemed like you needed adjusting when it came to your form or help when stretching. Even if you are a centimeter off he had to correct you. Guess he is a perfectionist. Or maybe he is sneaky.

Raiden came behind you and placed his hands on your waist. His foot tapped yours to make it move to the side more. You didn’t notice but he gave a light squeeze to your waist. He wished he could wrap his arms around you but now is not the time. Though it would upset Kung Lao a lot.

His hands traced up your arms till they were at your head. Your face was so soft he wanted to kiss it. But all he can do now is adjust it. Raiden glanced at Kung Lao and saw he was almost seething with rage. For once he decided to be a little cruel to his dear friend.

He went down till his face was inches away from your thigh. His hands grabbed at the tantalizing piece of flesh before him and turned it slightly. Now your form was perfect.

Kung Lao couldn’t believe what he was seeing. Though Raiden’s straw hat was concealing his eyes it could not conceal that smirk on his face. He knows exactly what he was doing. He’s just too good at hiding his devilish intentions behind a sweet, kissable face.

It seems that no matter how many time Kung Lao shows off, Raiden will always be the winner here. He’s the one who gets to touch you.

══💤══╡°˖✧🦊✧˖°╞══💤══

You’re not dense you can feel that something is wrong. There is tension in the air and it only appears when Kung Lao and Raiden are in the same vicinity.

You have been keeping a close eye on their relationship. They have been drifting apart for some time now. Everyone can see that. What you didn’t get was why. You were missing the signs. You missed the glances Raiden would give to Kung Lao. You missed the fact that Kung Lao would only call for your attention, not anyone else’s.

You had to do something about this. It would be a shame if their friendship crumbled over something silly. Whatever that silly thing was.

Inviting them over to your place was a great start. Though they might be shocked when they see each other at your place. You might have left that out on purpose.

══💤══╡°˖✧🦊✧˖°╞══💤══

“What the—what are you doing here, Raiden?”

“What am I doing here? I should be asking you the same thing, Kung Lao.”

They both stared at each other with mouths agape. They were confused as if the possible reason was outlandish. It’s not like there is a universal rule that you can only invite one person to your place.

“What are you two standing there for? Come inside, you’ll catch your deaths out there.” You called for them.

They didn’t even realize you opened the door. But now that they do they were racing to get it. Kung Lao pushed Raiden out of the way, leaving him with a disappointed expression.

Your place was well decorated and well kept. It’s only you living in this small house. That doesn’t make it any less of a home. Your house expresses you which the boys really like. They followed you closely but realize you were heading in the direction of your room. There was hesitation, especially from Raiden. Why not just stay in the living room? What gives?

You don’t have time for this stupidity. You grabbed their hands and dragged them into your room. They always imagined being in your room , of course that fantasy always involved you on the bed and the other one not being there. Clearly none of that good stuff will happen, right?

“Alright, sit down, I need to ask you guys something.” You plopped down on your bed.

The bed is off limits in their minds. The chairs? No. The bean bag? No. The floor? Probably a safe bet.

They sat in front of you, looking up at you like loving puppies waiting to be loved by their master. That’s not the first order of business tonight. Don’t be fooled by their eyes. There is still a wedge between them.

“Mind telling me what’s got you two so bothered. Don’t act like I haven’t noticed your strange behavior recently. I’m concerned about you guys.”

They can tell that you really care just by the tone of your voice. But a silence still hung in the air. Kung Lao nor Raiden wanted to speak the truth. It’s awkward, especially with your bro there. Kung Lao’s cockiness got to him though, reminding him of who he is. He shouldn’t be afraid so he’ll say it.

“I want you to be my girlfriend.” He declared.

Well that was a shock. You know what else shocked you? Raiden.

“I want you to be my girlfriend.” He said as well.

They glared at each other after saying that. They don’t even acknowledge the fact that you were sitting there with a confused expression. It’s not usual for two men to ask you out at the same time, in the same way. It was at least straight forward. You snapped your fingers at them to bring their attention back to you. Like the good boys they are they obey.

“How often does this happen? Going after the same girl?” You asked.

“Not as often as you think.” Raiden responded.

“We usually have different types.” Kung Lao chimed in.

This is weird. Somehow you were the connection between them when it came to types yet at the same time being the wedge between them.

“So…are you saying I should be flattered?”

“Aren’t you everybody’s type?” Kung Lao said it so innocently that it was smooth. He does good when he’s not trying too hard.

Think about this for yourself now. It’s no lie that you like them both. They have their own quirk that draws you in. You love Raiden’s kindness yet ability to be brutal while in battle. He works hard and is willing to guide others to try hard as well. Kung Lao’s cockiness can be annoying to others but it enriches you. It gives him confidence and the ability to think of new ideas. That razor-rimmed hat didn’t come out of thin air. There is so much you can say and love about them. But which one do you choose?

Alright, you have an idea. A weird one but it’s an idea.

“Come here.” You motioned for them to join you on your bed.

“Which one of us?” Kung Lao asked but Raiden was already up and running to your bed. Kung Lao got there just as quick as he did.

Nothing else was said from you. You only had actions. You leaned into Raiden first, bringing his head closer to yours. Your lips captured his in a passionate kiss. It was just like everything he imagined. Your lips were soft and had the slightest hint of vanilla that came from your favorite lip balm. He was practically melting in the palm of your hands as he wished this could last forever. But you pulled away, you have someone else to get to.

When you turned towards Kung Lao he has an upset expression on his face. It turned to shock the moment he felt your lips against his. That softness and the taste of vanilla enchanted him. He almost turned the passionate kiss into a whole make out session. That desperation to have you and touch you himself was building up for quite a while. He doesn’t want to hold himself back. But just like with Raiden you pulled away.

From the kisses you gave to them you came to the conclusion that you like them both equally. You don’t want to break either one of their hearts since it will break yours as well. So why not have both men. This can do good in bringing their friendship together again. It might even make it stronger. Yeah, this can work out. And you would have told them but they came to a similar conclusion as well. That will be discussed later.

For now you are more focused on their lips that are leaving kisses all over your neck. It makes your body heat rise up and causes a stir between your legs. Their hands are all over you. Kung Lao’s reaches for your neck to hold it still while Raiden’s reaches for your chest. You whimper at the sensation of their tongues lightly licking your skin. Kung Lao thinks it best to stay leaving hickeys on you. It will show everyone who you belong to. Raiden should do the same so that all know that you belong to them.

They lightly push you back against your bed. There is a hunger in their eyes. One that has built up for days. Raiden just can’t wait to hold you close as Kung Lao goes to town on you.

There is no shame is wanting this as well. Don’t hide that devious smirk from them. It will let them know to keep going.

You know what they say. Sharing is caring. And they care for you a lot.

After notes: If you’re gonna piss rainbows do it in the ditch I dug. If a skittle don’t fall out imma be disappointed. I have a sneaking suspicion that imma be asked of more from this. I didn’t want to push it beyond anything I’m sorry if you wanted more. Now I must finish eating before I mentally prepare myself for my class tonight. Adiós!

#mortal kombat #mk1 #mortal kombat 1 #mortal kombat1 #mortal kombat x reader #mortal kombat x you #mk x reader #mk x you #mk fanfic #raiden #raiden x reader #raiden x you #kung lao #kung lao x reader #kung lao x you #kung lao mk1 #mk kung lao #kung lao mortal kombat #raiden mk1 #raiden mortal kombat #mk raiden

[tls12lessthan3]

in my head yoo jonghyuk and han sooyoung did not hook up until the epilogue at earliest because theyve both got wayyyyy too many other things to worry about and still have a lot of issues with each other. but also. i have an orv au where they have secret hookups in those periods after kim dokja dies but before he comes back.

the earliest one happens post demon king death and its got a lot of anger and regret behind it. also some jealousy where han sooyoung is intimately aware of yoo jonghyuk's importance to kim dokja (<- has not processed why this upsets her or that she wants it to be her, just gets pissed off at the thought) and yoo jonghyuk is vaguely aware that kim dokja trusts han sooyoung with information and in a way that he doesn't trust yoo jonghyuk (<- tells himself its just anger at kim dokja and distrust of han sooyoung that causes it).

the next few ones happen in the 3 years where he disappears to the 1863rd turn where theyre both. coping. lots of trying to find him in each other. but also this is the period where they start to feel genuinely closer to the other person (at this point they have exchanged denial about liking kim dokja with denial about liking each other). han sooyoung feels vaguely guilty about sleeping with yoo jonghyuk for multiple reasons (she knows about wos and knows hed be really upset about her keeping it from him, kinda feels like shes stepping on dokjas toes, etc) but supresses that and keeps doing it anyway. bad coping mechanisms for the win.

finally we have the biggest development in these hookups when it comes to the epilogue, where it takes on a very bittersweet tinge. they understand their relationship with each other a lot better know, and have lost that mistrust and guilt. they actually let themselves like each other, but are very aware of the missing piece between them, which brings a new type of guilt and longing.

#orv #yoohan #yoohankim #minors dni

[seventhcallisto]

bags ( Kang Yeosang )

Yeosang loves you.

You're more than everything in his eyes. He might be a secret romantic - only for you. He'll wake you with his gaze in the morning and grow flush when you catch him. He'll deny it, then own up to it with a shy smile. Kiss your cheek and lips- then he'll part for the morning to let you sleep in, tucking the blanket into his side as he goes.

Yeosang will hear songs that remind him of you. You'll work yourself into his daily routine, and he won't be upset about it at all. Even during a variety show, when one of the other contestants compliment him- he'll only think of what you said about him earlier.

"Your eyes are so pretty yeosang." You caress the side of his face as you lay in his lap, and he'll let you. Humming gently, then closing his eyes with content when you stroke your thumb over them.

Yeosang could say the same to you, but he's shy in that way, especially if he has so many things to compliment you for. Your smile, your personality, your laugh, how you listen, the way you look at him, how pretty you are, how you're amazing- and caring, and kind.

It's all sappy and sticky, and yeosang doesn't want to fight the way it sticks to his skin like honey if it means he'll get to have moments like this with you forever.

Where you're both together. Comfortably laying on the couch and curled up with a dozen blankets, you've fallen asleep, but that's okay cause yeosang is content with holding your warm body onto his. Your leg slipped over his hip and your head on his chest. He can hear your soft snoring- it's endearing. You'll call him a fibber later for mentioning the noise.

"I don't snore"

Yeosangs fingers lace into yours, a piece that immediately calms his nerves. Sometimes, your head will fall against his shoulder, and he'll stiffen just so his breathing doesn't make you want to move.

It could be one of your many loves. But you'll always be yeosangs young love, his first love, and his forever love.

"I love you," he whispers in the cool air of the night, sat side by side on the porch with you.

You smile sadly.

"I wish you had said that a lot sooner." You whisper back as you turn to leave.

Yeosang will be one of your many loves. But you'll always be his only love.

#kang yeosang #angst #fluff #fluff and then angst bc im crazy. #im so sorry yall. #yeosang x reader #x reader #yeosang angst #yeosang fluff

[princess-of-the-corner]

I'm surprised Adrien or Kagami didn't get akumatized more (not counting Zoe cause at least I don't like her and most she confuse's me....and Felix doesn't count? It all muddled...) I mean they have a lot if not more issue's then Chloe... And Chloe does have a butt load of issue's... I just wish we saw more drama hurt rich kids

Adrien's lack of being Akumatized is pretty weird because Gabe so rarely tries it even though it would be so easy to just do some shit to bother him and then yeet a butterfly. And it's not like he has issues against Akumatizing Adrien as both Chat Blanc and Ephemeral happened, and also he has no issues otherwise using Adrien as a tool for his own goals(hell that was the purpose Adrien was made for after all).

Kagami is also on the same list of how easy it'd be to have Tomoe upset her to be Akuma fodder. Makes more sense than her falling for Lila's lies three times in a row. But then again Tomoe's involvement wasn't written in until Season 5 so she only had chances recently.

Zoé is just 'Chloé but perfect' and a plot device so she doesn't count.

Felix is miserable enough for Gabe to try, but 1.) he's not in Paris often until Season 5 and 2.) He knows about the whole situation and really doesn't want Gabe to get his hooks into him so he pulls back hard on that sort of thing.

Chloé they at least take the opportunity of both her being in an abusive situation causing her enough misery to be Akumatized /and/ Gabe manipulating her into feeling even worse to make her an Akuma. But it's entirely negated by later insisting 'Oh she's not abused at all her life is perfect she just actively chose to be Akumatized because she's an evil little brat".

[boogywoogies]

I'm starting to see a pattern here with seasons 1 2 & 3

Season 1. Luther is an asshat. He locks Viktor up and continues to ignore the apocalypse and is more concerned about how Reginald dies, and when he needs to confront the apocalypse, instead of confronting the bomb and trying to defuse it. He puts the bomb in the safe and walks away hoping that itd help.

Season 2. Diego is an asshat. Hes obsessed with trying to save JFK, to the point of being put in a mental hospital. But he still wants to save him, when hes out of it he doesnt care about the nucular war in a few days cause he still has to save him, he even knows the consequences of doing so and how much it could fuck up the timeline. But he doesnt care, after ben talks to Viktor and Viktor stops almost ending the world. He doesnt care to check up on anyone in the room and instead goes down to try and save the president only for it to not work.

Season 3. Allison is an asshat. Allison's was more explained on why she was an asshat but never the less she was still an asshat. Her obsession was getting Claire and Ray back. I'm going to start off with something that no one is going to give accountability for and that is sexually assaulting Luther. She was upset that the two things that were keeping her together had disappeared and she will never get them back. So what does she do? She confesses that she hses Lither as a distraction, and she rumours him to stay and want her which leads to being pinned on a pool table. Atleast she told him to stop, but it is still sexual assault never the less. She acted as an angstier version of sparrow Ben.

Now what do all of these have in common?

Luther diego and Allison are numbers 1 2 & 3, and were asshats in their respected numbered seasons.

They were obsessed with something that could ruin everything.

So this only means one thing, perhaps an antagonistic Klaus in season 4?

#the umbrella academy #the umbrella academy s3 #tua s3 spoilers #umbrella academy season 3 #the umbrella academy spoilers #umbrella academy #spoilers #season 3 #umbrella academy spoilers #hargreeves family #Honestly not sure if this made any sense lol #but i dont know if I should be excited or not about asshat klaus #I mean i kinda get why he might be an asshat this season #cause he has a lot of things to be upset about

[boltgunkiller-archive]

i find it damn near impossible to get mad at santana’s behavior in 3x06 and 3x07 because i genuinely do think she had the right to be lashing out at everybody. sue me idk

#idgaf if she was mean to kurt and blaine when they were “trying to help” in IKAG #they were the first performance & santana was put under the spotlight by the guy who fully outed her to the ENTIRE STATE OF OHIO & now she #-was expected to be just happy and jolly about some bullshit lady music week to celebrate women as if that has anything to do with wtf just #-happened to her by finn’s hands & of course she was upset because she was only back in the new directions because finn basically #-blackmailed her into rejoining like hello!!! so of course she was snippy with them… and tbh i don’t even think she was being that mean. #i think she’d have reason to be even MEANER actually. that reaction of hers was completely reasonable. and honestly it must’ve hurt seeing #-two people who are meant to Get what it’s like.. participate in that? especially when the last thing she wants is her sexuality that she’s #-still very insecure with Being broadcasted. to the whole damn club. it’s already about to be shown to all of ohio with names addresses #-details about her whole personal life etc like she really didn’t need that spotlight right then she needed to have space and love and #-support… none of which she got. #also the glee writers tend to make a character do a bad thing and then have another character do an INFINITELY WORSE THING #and then they’re like “oh but. the first character was being so mean. this absolutely deplorable and wayyyy too far reaction is definitely #-justified now because that was just so mean of the first character ugh!” and basically spins what happened into showing the first characte #-as the most evil person alive??? as if that’s even remotely true.??? and yes this is about santana cause they do this w her #and quinn. a LOTTTT. like a LOT. rn i’m talking ab santana though so i won’t cover quinn sorry fabrayers… one day! #like yes santana was being mean sure whatever. but finn didn’t have an excuse IDGAF what the hell anybody says about the body shaming stuff #it was mean. yes that’s true. but i don’t think you understand how different those two things are #they’re both bad but the outing is infinitely more despicable and personal and filled with malice and it’s so much more endangering in a wa #-that can’t even be compared to the dangers of body shaming you know. like they’re completely different and the outing thing is just too #-personal and Wrong like. idk. just get that through ur head they’re both so different and finn went way too far and personal. he could’ve #-just mocked her looks if he really wanted to get back at her. mocked ANYTHING else. but he chose the worst thing you could do to somebody #who is scared and in the closet and hurting #also yes santana’s written to be rude a lot of the time but her degree of rudeness in those episodes was Overplayed and def not in characte #like it didn’t feel much like santana’s brand of meanness it was 100% the writers trying to justify finn more because they continued to #-paint finn as the good guy who chose the high road… when that couldn’t be further from the truth thanks. he didn’t choose the high road he #-completely blackmailed santana and used her to make him look good basically. so you can’t change my mind on that Def being a writer issue #and just them Hating Women. especially santana. thanks. #also this is all coming from somebody who loves finn. so. 🤣 #i fuckingggg hate seeing people say santana was mean and had no right to be doing all of that in those eps.. BITCH YES SHE DID #like in other eps sure (<- nuanced topic/take) but this one? No. she was justified IDGAF. should’ve been meaner

[databent]

why the fuck is it that some people cant seem to acknowledge that people can just... be disabled. not through any fault of their own, not because something "happened" to them, just because, you know, sometimes people have disabilities. like, come on

#.pdf #rd #kd #just a warning these tags are long. like. really incredibly long. i had thoughts. #sorry for the vague ass post i'm just upset about some stupid shit my dad said yesterday. #namely: outright telling me that he doesn't believe i have non-24 (circadian rhythm disorder). #and that even if i do he doesn't believe it's possible for it to actually be a lifelong and disabling condition. #*also: this post isn't meant to imply that disabilities that did have some inciting incident are more accepted or anything. #it's just that i'm frustrated with the “you're disabled? why? what happened?” sentiment a lot of people seem to have. #nothing happened to cause my disability. i'm just like this. no i can't change it. what the fuck do you want me to tell you? #i'd guess it probably has to do with society's focus on work and productivity and career-mindedness above all else. #and when someone comes along that doesn't fit in with the way things are structured it just doesn't compute. #because the idea of people who can't dedicate their entire lives to working is so fundamentally contradictory to their view of... i don't- #-know. meaning in life? fulfillment? that they feel a need to reject the possibility altogether. #this is mainly when dealing with invisible disabilities from what i've seen. because i think there's a tendency to view visibly disabled- #-people as belonging to a different category altogether. which of course is its own issue but i'm not visibly disabled so i don't feel- #-like it's necessarily my place to speak on that. #anyway. i just want my struggles to be acknowledged as real. because they are. and i need people to understand that I Have A Disability. #albeit one many people don't even believe could be real because there's a sort of belief that circadian rhythms are purely a product of- #-external forces like sunlight so “you can't possibly have yours be different and have you tried just going outside more?” sigh. #sorry i also just remembered my dad telling me he doesn't believe i can have something so rare because the chances of having it are too low. #which is some ridiculous logic to me. rare doesn't mean it's impossible. some amount of people have to wind up with it regardless. #i just lucked out i guess. #n24 tag

[monty-glasses-roxy]

I have two thoughts that are bouncing around in my head right now

1. The problem with me inventing horsies is that I want them all to have feathers but that's fucking boring but I the feathers are neat but it's boring but-

2. Oh my god. Oh my god. There is not a single fundamental fact Roxy has believed that has been right. Not a single fucking thing. Her life is a god damn lie. Tries to clear up one identity problem and ends up with another two. She feels like this is the identity crisis hydra. Is there a way to win here? Is there anything else that's been a lie this whole time? Is she even still Roxy anymore? She's going through some things...

But at least her horsie has feathers I guess

#lmao her horsie does have feathers a lot of them do #it fits her horsie very well though #roxy finding this horsie and fucking screaming at her for answers she's going through it so bad #fucking 'roxy... im sorry im so so sorry-' like fucking 'sorry? you're sorry?! i dont know who i am anymore and you're SORRY?!' #MY GUYS SHE'S STRUGGLIN #everyone scrambling to tell her the truth before she finds out and freddy trying to buy time by asking cassie to keep her busy... #and THAT'S how she fucking finds out cause the pair of them found the truth themselves #when they wouldn't have if they weren't all trying to buy time #like!!! yike!!! zoinks even!!! what a fucking situation!!! #the only ones exempt are the minis and dj even chica who was built AFTER all of this fucking knows #hell on earth for roxy man... i don't even know how to resolve this yet but god damn #she's so upset and so angry and so confused and she keeps thinking things will get better the more she knows #but now she feels fucking ROBBED and more confused than ever #she needs a hug okay??? so badly #she finds the horsies and they're just as confused btw. so is barney the duck... and the minis... #horsies make her smile though. they're just so fucking weird and she feels like the whole herd has collectively decided to dote on her #and be goofy little shits for her. she's struggling to learn their names and literally anything but #she made a joke to poppet the mini about teaching them to roll over and freddy's appeared out of nowhere to roll over for her like :D #i made base ideas for freddy and monty's horsies last night btw #of the two i like freddy's the most for one specific thing he does that makes me laugh lmao #he's like a forklift :)

[gifti3]

Im cursing [REDACTED] right NOW

#god i better never have contact with this guy again or i might flip out on him #im about to ramble about my past “dating" adventures (we were casual but sheesh cant even be friends with this guy tbh) #im realizing months later how much this guy i used to talk to sucked #like DUDE be a better or stay single FOREVER (ΘдΘ) #and by that i mean learn how to better handle approaching others feelings! #god the way he would just shutdown others ppls feelings and it was just an endless loop of “that doesnt make sense” or “thats dumb” #sure emotions can be irrational but if someone is desperately TRYING to explain why they feel a way (even if theyre struggling to be clear) #maybe dont be so dismissive #like literally one time i was annoyed cause talking to him was grating on my nerves #and i was like ik it doesnt make sense so let me step away cause im annoyed #and hes like trying to logic me out of my annoyance??? #like worstie im literally walking away so i can cool off #leave it be! #god looking back on all this.... #i hope to god whoever hes talking to (if hes talking to anyone) isnt dealing with similar things #ppl can change so ill just hope for that #or maybe he'll meet his match #someone who reflects the same energy he has! #tho im not sure if hed like that haha #the guy seemed to have a lot of relationship problems in general (romantic and platonic) and i wanted to have the benefit of the doubt #but now im thinking maybe his personality was also just clashing with everyone elses #which isnt necessarily a bad thing on its own #gotta get context for everything u know #but in this case....naur #like im a pretty anxious person so how ppl i care about will react to what im doing or saying is constantly at the back of my mind! #so ppl who just come off as flippant about my fee fees annoy me fr #im like “ahh what if i upset so and so” constantly #trying to make sure not to make things harder for them #and they cant even spare me a single thought before doing something and dismiss me when i get upset #but also they wanna come to me when theyre feeling sad about something???

[arklay]

RESIDENT EVIL → DIANA & ALBERT WESKER

"You live inside me, the same way I live inside you. A moebius strip, a snake always swallowing its own tail. Mutually assured destruction, maybe, or mutual deification. Mutual consumption. I will be the house that holds every part of you." — Becca De La Rosa and Mabel Martin, Mabel: Matryoshka [Episode 28]

[template]

#that's the best photo we will get of stinky cause i don't have a fc for him <3 i made charts for them ages ago so of course special interest #had to do them for this template heheh also was just looking for birthdays based on their big 3 and somehow the other placements fit pretty #well... i have so many thoughts about this. like rip to elliot who had to hear me analyse the report it gave for blond man back when i did #it cause so much of it was weirdly accurate. anyways. hi hello i did a thing :) #made little rambling in the tags post about his moon because like many thoughts there considering it's a fire sign when he has a lot of #earth energy but i am my reasons hehe also them both having stelliums is so hot and for what?? i feel like the affectionate metres may be a #little too high? but also like idk they are very affectionate in their own ways. my brain knows. sorry i can’t telepathically transfer all #my thoughts 😭 OH also. apologises first... idk. when something happens they both just apologise when they have noticed they've upset the #other then they move on and don't make a big deal of it so ??? but i think diana is a bit more stubborn 🤷🏼 #oc: diana #pair: ewskers #mine.

[todayisafridaynight]

LISTEN I KNOW HOW IT SOUNDS BUT I SWEAR HE WAS DISTINCT FROM RGGJO STILL 😭😭😭 HIS DESIGN WAS LOUD IN A DIFFERENT WAY 😭😭😭😭😭 though As A Whole it was probably the result of someone saying he should go full RGGJo in 8 several months prior to when I had the dream, so not wrong. But it would be fun to see a shift from "Nothing in life matters...😞" to "Nothing in life matters! 😎" would it not...

I've always thought Drink Link was meant to evoke Social Link? Because in Japan it was called #DRAMA. I was never the biggest fan because it's one of many "translations" in Y7 that are just changing something that was already in English and doesn't require cultural context to understand. Like IMO whether it's seen as an improvement or not, it's just not the localizers' job to "improve on" the original; let them be cringe and let them be free...

And also it gave ammunition to Persona fans who refuse to experience anything but P5 and decided to go "wow! it's just like P5!" at every little thing Y7 did from the VERY FIRST trailers onward (including BE AN RPG) And That Shit Got Old Fast </3 Sorry </3 But I do think this one's very much on purpose, localization-wise. So I forgive you :)

RANTING ASIDE. OR. SEGUEING INTO MORE RANTING. Literally like I don't even care if it's as part of the Kasugang or Kiryu's Geezer Squad... Give Jo five minutes with Tendo or hand him over to me so I can make sure he's enriched and well-nourished... these are my demands... that man is my everything......

Because it would be SO funny both ways. We don't know who all will be in each party, so either he's stuck with Adachi (Definitely A Character) (Affectionate) (Also Has Already Told Him He'd Rather Kill Him Than Send Him To Jail So. Awkward) or maybe with Kiryu's he'd have more people around his agw, But if not, The Inherent Comedy of two bitches called Jo and Joryu who have almost the same haircut 💀💀

Exactly though, nobody in the Arakawa Family is neurotypical and I FULLY believe Jo would be at his best when put into Situations, like Mine is. It's something I reeeally miss from RGGO because of the pre-finale scene with RGGJo and Mitsu having a drink at their favorite bar... they haven't been there in a while, and RGGJo doesn't wanna spoil the mood, so he's not hostile in the slightest... and when he gets up to leave he says he "forgot his wallet" and makes Mitsu foot the bill (ICONIC for completely different reasons depending on whether he's telling the truth or not)... whereas in Y7 I DON'T EVEN KNOW IF THE ARAKAWAS HAVE A FAVORITE BAR

it could be funny- whiplash inducing, but that'd undoubtedly be why it'd be funny wouldn't it ♪(´▽｀) he could've been some sacred third thing- just more RGGJo influence injected in Y7Jo mayhaps..

anyhow it dont sound like you forgive me when you just got mad at persona players for makin comparisons and here ive gone and done such a thing LMAO（；´д｀）（；´д｀）in any case, i know how you feel about translations so i wont press the topic: if it aint broke etc etc, i understand how you feel so it's ok (❁´◡`❁;;)

double 'jo' def woulda been funny, if not has always been a small thing worth jokin bout that ive had in the back of my mind (though ive already said that: i have a broken record of a brain at this point, if not that it just points out how silly i find the idea) LMAO. i've always enjoyed antag-turned-party member anyhow, so it wouldve been fun to me regardless of what it brought ♪(´▽｀)

#long post #snap chats #i say unnecessary things a lot so its easy for me to say something upsetting oops (´▽｀;;;) #its a habit im trying to break- to speak concisely instead of without aim. though if im realistic im not sure i can do that #i can only ask please be patient with me for saying annoying things in the future (❁´◡`❁) #im sure it'll happen a lot by accident and has already happened (❁´◡`❁ ;; ) so ill make sure to remember whats most bothersome (❁´◡`❁) #before my organs shut down on me let me move on OWOWOW #i remember the bit in rggo where jo forgot his wallet i truly couldnt stop myself from sayin My Guy Cmon 😭 ☠️☠️ #in the case of rggjo its fun to imagine his forgetfulness as ambiguous cause Truly Did He Mean To Forget Or 🤨 #in the case of y7jo its harder to believe hed do it on purpose so in the case where he does its just ☠️☠️ #bros Truly losin it.... his mind AND his wallet... i know ichi gon make a joke 😔 #aside from that though maybe jo would benefit from having friends his age <- saying this as if he's in grade school ☠️☠️ #in the case of the arakawas having a personal favorite bar tho... i couldnt say #ive already made an assessment of jo's sociability through his office so i wanna make a half-confident bet he doesnt like to get out much #lest it's required for Whatever Reason- but what about arakawa then ? much to consider.. #i honestly couldnt wager what he'd prefer.. i dont know what atmosphere he'd like... he's too mysterious for me (´▽｀;;) #for some reason i can only ever imagine him drinking at home or at quaint restaurants... #idk cant explain it... thats just the vibe... very likely im wrong though.. #my organs truly hurt now- i think i gave myself a headache by mistake so ill have to stop my pondering before i explode (´▽｀;;)

[this-doesnt-endd]

why is everybody taking mike saying his life began when he found el to mean that he just straight up hates will like? its like all im seeing but like idk i just dont think thats what he meant like he was trying to get el to fight also this like whole thing were people are like mike is the fucking worst person alive he just shoulda died cause his character is gone like idk i feel like this is mike and the way him and will are these days doesnt seem that like abnormal to me like they have been best friends since they were young and theres never a time where theyre like we arent friends anymore, idk mike just has never seemed the person to pour his heart out, also like theyre in the worst growing pains of friendship. highschool, one has a girlfriend, one is figuring out who they are, one moved away, like i dont think mike doesnt care about will, will cares more outwardly cause thats just how he's been, also like personally i feel like its setting up for season 5 like this all started with will and i think in some sense its gonna end with will and theyre gonna be able to bridge them back together to be as close as they were in season one, like theres always been this thread of friendship and love being what save them and i feel like theyre working towards that and are gonna bring it full circle in the end

#also like i get why people are upset about will not coming out #cause they did say it would be addressed and it kinda was kinda wasnt #but i feel like s5 will very much be about will and i think they want to unfold everything with will slowly #but i saw no point where byler was happening #like i did not ever see it happening that will comes out to mike and mike is like i feel completely the same i love you and theyre a thing #like i think theyre going to have the situation of will coming out and like telling mike that but i think its going to be about will #learning that his family and friends still love him completely and like unconditionally #like i see them having mike make a speech about how will is friend always and forever like after everything #they will always be friends nothing will ever change that and he will always be there for them #i want them to bring them back to this s1 level of friendship #and i think thats like another thing that will worries about cause throughout the season we see will fixated on the idea #of him and all his friends staying how they were playing dnd and just being kids cause like after every trauma will went through #he knew thats what he was coming back to his friends and they're games and them just having this simple happy time together #and theyre still friends but lots has changed so quickly and like it makes total sense for will to want to stay where he his but he cant #and i think all of that ontop of how he feels and worrying about if thats okay and if he can truly be who he is and this fear #or losing that losing his friends completely for being himself is just horrific to him and eats him alive #and theres going to need to be this big changing like make or break moment where will know without a shadown of a doubt #his friends are here for him and love him and will fight for him and go looking for him #and thats obvi gotta come from mike cause theyve been together and been best friends since day one

[vadlings]

Represention of Autistic Frustration in Laios Dungeon Meshi

Like many other autistic people, I related strongly to Laios Touden while reading Dungeon Meshi. This post isn't going to spend time disputing whether he displays autistic traits or not—while I could do that, I want to focus on why specifically his portrayal struck a chord with me in a way the writing of most other autistic-coded characters has not.

Disclaimer: as the above suggests, this post is strongly informed by my own experiences as an autistic person, as well as the experiences of my neurodivergent friends with whom I have spoken about this subject. I want to clarify that in no way am I asserting my personal experience to be some Universal Autistic Experience. This post is about why Laios' character feels distinct and significant to me in regard to autistic representation, and while I'm at it, I do feel that I have interesting things to say about autistic representation in media generally. This also got a bit long, so I'm sticking it under a read more. Spoilers for up to the end of chapter 88 below.

The thing that stands out most to me in regard to Laios' characterisation is the open anger he displays when someone points out his inability to read other people. This comes up prominently in his interactions with "Shuro" (Toshiro Nakamoto):

The frustration pictured above (Laios continuing to physically tussle with Toshiro, using crude language toward him) becomes even more notable when you remember that this is Laios, who, outside of these interactions, is not easily fazed and often exists as a lighthearted contrast to the rest of the cast. Then we get to Laios' nightmare.

In Falin's words: "Nightmares love emotional wounds. Wounds you hold in your heart. Things that give you stress, or things that were traumatic for you. They aggravate memories like that and cause the dreamer to have terrible dreams." (chapter 42, page 10.) (damn. i'm properly citing for this post and everything.)

Thus, Laios' nightmare establishes an important fact: even if he is unable to recognise social blunders while he's making them, he's at least subconsciously aware that other people operate on a different wavelength to him, and that he's an outsider in many of his social circles (both past and present). His dream-father's disparaging words stress the impact this has had upon his ability to live up to the expectations set out for him, and we also get a panel of kids who smirk at him (presumably former bullies to some degree). Toshiro's appearance only hammers home how much Laios is still both humiliated and angered by his misunderstanding of their relationship.

I've thought a lot about anger as concomitant to the autistic experience. When autistic representation portrays ostracization, it's generally from an angle of the autistic character being upset at how conforming to neurotypical norms doesn't come easily to them; as a result, they express a desire to 'get better' at meeting neurotypical standards, a desire to become more 'normal' (whether the writing implies this is a good thing or not). In contrast, not once does Laios go, "I need to perform better in my social interactions, and try to care less about monsters, because that's what other people find weird." His frustration is directed outward rather than inward, and as a result, it's the people around him who are framed as nonsensical.

The Winged Lion starts delineating Laios' anger, and Laios' reaction is to think to himself, "It can sense all my thoughts, huh?" (chapter 88, page 16.) This is the scene that really resonated with me. I'm not saying I have never felt the desire to conform to neurotypical norms that is borne from insecurity, but primarily, I know that I don't want to work toward becoming 'normal'—I don't want to change myself for people who follow rules I find nonsensical. It's the difference between, "Oh god, why can't I get it," and, "WHY CAN'T YOU GET IT?" (phrasing here courtesy of my friend Miles @dogwoodbite). And for me personally, Dungeon Meshi is the first time I've seen this frustration and the resultant voluntary isolation from other people portrayed in media so candidly. Laios' anger is not downplayed or written to be easily palatable, either.

The culmination of Laios' frustrations in this scene wherein we learn that Laios has fantasised about "a pack of monsters attacking a village" drives home just how alienated he really feels. I need not go into his wish to become a monster himself, redolent of how many autistic people identify/have identified with non-humans to some degree as a result of a percieved disconnect from society (when I was younger, I wanted to be a robot. I still kind of do.)

Obviously, wishing death upon other people is a weighty thing, but the unfiltered nature of this page is what deeply resonated with me. The Winged Lion is laying Laios' deepest and most transgressive desires bare, and they are desires that are a product of lifelong ostracization by others (whether intentional or unintentional). This is the brand of anger I'm familiar with, and that my neurodivergent friends express being familiar with, but that I haven't seen portrayed in writing so explicitly before—in fact, it surprised me because most well-meaning autistic representation I've experienced veers toward infantilisation in trying make the autistic character's struggles easy for neurotypicals to sympathise with.

Let's also not neglect the symbolism inherent to Laios' daydream. "A pack of monsters attacking a village". Functionally, monsters are Laios' special interest—he percieves everything first and foremost through his passion for monsters. His daydream of monsters attacking—killing—humans, is fundamentally a daydream of the world he understands (monsters) overthrowing the world that is so illogical to him, that has repeatedly shunned him (other people). I joked to my friends that it's an autistic power fantasy, and it actually sort of is. And in it, his identity is aligned with that of the monsters, while his anger manifests in a palpable dissociation from the rest of humanity. This is one manga page. It's brief. It's also very, very raw to me. I think about it often.

To conclude, I love Laios Dungeon Meshi. This portrayal of open frustration in an autistic character meant a lot to me, and I hope I've sufficiently outlined why. Also, feel free to recommend media with autistic representation in the notes if you've read this far—I would really like to see if there is more of this nature. Thank you for reading. I'm very tired and should probably sleep now.

#dungeon meshi #dunmeshi #laios touden #shuro #toshiro nakamoto #the winged lion #autistic #autism #clay writes #i GUESS #this was so spur of the moment. im so busy right now i dont have time to be analysing laios touden #i wuont angry autistic rep..