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dirtytransmasc · 8 months

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Are yyou team green or black? And why?

team green, though I'm not in support of every green character (namely Otto though my opinion of him is complicated. I also have opinions on Aegon and his characterization that makes it even more complicated)

[I have only read bits and pieces of the book, so my opinion is based almost solely on the show. keep this in mind]

I'm team green for 3 big reasons. they're more complex, thought not perfect by any means, more morally "right", and are simply more my vibe when it comes to characters. now this is very simplified and not at all nuanced, so stick with me for a minute.

Firstly, they're more complex. the greens have very deep, detailed, and nuanced lives and stories that lead to them being very complex characters that can't be put into a box. Alicent was a child bride who had lost her mother young became a mother young and suffered at the hands of power and men all her life. her children were affected by this and the world they were forced to grow up in throughout their lives. even individually her kids are drastically different; aegon the child who was forced into a life he did not want and suffered due to his father neglect and mother pain. Helaena who was never understood and grew up treated like an oddity. Aemond who was never seen to his full potential, always ignored or looked over, angry throughout his life. each of them has strengths and weaknesses, flaws and benefits, they're imperfect but never completely horrid. they're also never simplified (not entirely, even when the plot and writers seek to simplify them) to the point that they put on a moral pedestal or made straight evil (i'd even argue that the attempts of the writer to oversimplify them as evil and in the wrong makes them 10x more fascinating). I find TB characters tended to miss the mark on that, always put in the moral light, not even allowed a moment to reflect on their actions, lives, or positions in any nuanced or meaningful way, so they always just feel dull. they're also out on a moral highground that they can never be budged from, which makes them harder to like and honestly, really boring. they get away with everything instead of being emotionally and morally nuanced.

secondly, they're more morally "right". I will never say that any of the greens are perfect, they are far from it (with the exception of Helaena and her kids, who have done literally nothing to anyone, but I digress). what I will say, 9/10 times there is some level of reasoning that has some level of reasoning. Alicent always tries to do whats best for everyone, all throughout the series she tried to do best by the court, the king, her children, the realm, and Rhaenyra. did she always succeed? no, but she always tried and her mistakes were almost always honest. I will say she held resentment towards Rhaenya, but honestly, I can't blame her. Rhaenyra's lies and behavior hurt Alicent over and over again so for her to be angry is expected.when it came to succession, Alicent backed Rhaenyra until it was made clear she and Daemon would be a threat to her children's lives and even than she held mercy for Rhaenyra. Aegon's drinking can be blamed on the abuse and neglect he suffered at Viserys, Otto, and Alicent's (though the abuse and neglect from his mother is insanely different and nuanced. she perpetuated her pain onto him because she couldn't heal herself. so I hesitate to call it abuse, cause its so much more complicated than that) hands. though nothing will justify his rape of Dyana, I personally think it was a bad add in on the writers part, and leave it at that. Aemonds rage after years of being ignored doesn't entirely justify what he did to luke, but he had reason for his cruelty after years of Luke (and jace tbh) being cruel just because they could. TB characters tend to do terrible things in response to either A. nothing B. their own terrible things. Daemon kills who he wants when he feels like it, even for stating facts. Rhaneyra will lie and hurt those around her to protect her bastard children. both of them conspire to protect themselves and allow themselves to be wed, really just cause. while there are times they have their reasons, its a lot less of the time, and typically the backing to their actions, is they were trying to unbury themselves from within their own graves. (to preface, I don't care about rhaenyra sleeping around, it doesn't bother me, but its the fact that she will hurt everyone around her to protect her lies, allowing a child to be maimed and people to be murdered)

thirdly, they're my vibe. I like morally complex character, who are, to be frank, pathetic. I like characters with complex trauma's and issues, who aren't perfect people but its not entirely their fault. I would much rather watch a whole show about alicent, a child bride who tries so hard to be a good wife, queen, and mother while not prepared for any such role. Aegon who is a boy with severe mommy and daddy issues, a drinking problem, a flawed past, and constantly wet eyes. Helaena an ignored girl who has suffered for no better reason then her family. and Aemond, a boy who was tormented, bullied, maimed, and made stronger by it at the cost of his compassion and emotional stability - over a nepo baby who was coddled by her father, her murderous husband with a knack for unneeded violence, and her similarly coddled children (the show boiled them down to this, in my opinion). one is simply more up my alley than the other. I want character that need to be dissected, who have suffered, who hurt me to look at.

also, team black created almost all of their own problems. seeing as the main source of contention had to do with Rhaenyra's kids being bastards, which was Rhaenyra's problem, which she caused, and kept digging and digging that grave (faking Laenors death just so she could marry daemon, turning the blame on aemond when luke maimed him furthering the divide amongst the house, trying to wed Helaena to Jace putting her in danger, trying to take the driftmark throne and killing Vaemond for a claim her sons did not have, etc,) till viserys's death, earns her a lot less pity from me. at the end of the day, her being a woman was only a needle in a haystack worth of problems she caused herself that hurt her claim. if she had just strived to create to connection with ancient and her kids, and didn't make herself look like a threat to everyone who lessened her claim (which alicents kids would be the first people to be taken out) alicent would have backed like she had all season and there would have been no war, maybe conflict, but no war.

theres also the effect of the fans on my opinion. I have faced more cruelty, terrible media analysis, and outright ableism/misogny/(blood and sexual based) purist ideology/etc. from the TB fans then I have ever witness by TG fans. TB fans have ruined almost all of the TB characters for me in more ways than I can count, so I will say I am very biased.

thats why I'm team green. as a whole they are simply more appealing, their stories are more interesting, demand more attention to detail and emotional understanding, and from my point of view were the "right" side to be on in the war (the war was wrong on both sides, but my chips lie in the favour of the greens).

#THESE ARE ALL MY OPINIONS IF YOU DONT LIKE IT IGNORE THIS POST. MY ACCOUNT. MY EXISTENCE AS A WHOLE.#BETTER YET. IF YOU REALLY DONT LIKE MY OPINION. BLOCK ME.#I dont want drama. so dont bother me if you disagree #and to clarify discourse and conversation (even if we disagree) =/= arguing. name calling. harassment #if you can be constructive and respectful even while disagreeing your fine to stay #(the fact I have to clarify this in this fandom is embarrassing...)#defintly could have gone more in depth and better explained some things #but I'm tired and know if I don't answer this now I won't ever cause I'm a chronic procrastinator #so this is the best y'all are getting #the pity I have for all of them compared to any of the TB fans is honest to god my entire reasoning #but so many people don't understand them at all so I can't just say that #and I say this as someone who on my first watch was swayed by the intentional moral framing to hate the Greens and support the Blacks #with my whole chest. but I've grown and reflected and rewatched the show and realized I was wrong.#so I've been on both sides of the argument #I know what I'm taking about #pro team green #pro alicent hightower #I'm damn near anti TB/Rhaenyra #but I say lukewarm feelings on them to be more accurate #alicent hightower #aegon ii targaryen #aegon targaryen #aemond targaryen #helaena targaryen #rhaenyra targaryen #daemon targeryan #luke velaryon #jace velaryon #not tagging TB I like my life and sanity #they're so mean all the time and in the last week I've been harassed by them multiple times

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swinging-stars-from-satellites · 8 months

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anyone else ever get struck with a sudden feeling of distaste or being tired of someone who you usually really like/are friends with for literally no reason whatsoever? or is that just me

#like this has been happening with various people all summer #I'll be like... the thought of this person causes negative emotions that are literally directed at nothing #it isn't anything the person has done I just. feel like I don't care and don't really want to put in the effort with whatever friend #which is really weird bc I KNOW if I DO just put in the effort and ignore that random feeling I'll have fun and enjoy myself!!#bc I DO still like my friends actually!!! I just sometimes feel like I Don't and idk why #Lu rambles #this is especially odd when it's the sound guy bc like. not only have I been massively crushing on him all summer #but he's also one of the few people I genuinely have clicked with here. like we get along. it's cool. I've been slightly in love with him #so why do I now have this weird feeling like I want nothing to do with him/don't care #actually I feel extremely ambivalent about just about everyone right now but for some reason especially him #wait maybe it's PMS actually.... the Leave Me Alone Don't Talk To Me Don't Look At Me Don't Make Me Show Up hormones have hit :/#...that would actually explain several things from the last couple days. I should start tracking it #ok sorry I'm done externally processing my emotions on Tumblr dot com. bye

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sskk-manifesto · 29 days

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Atsushi's back in the game!!! ۶( ˆ o ˆ )

#And Kouyou!!!!#Also. I can say Steinbeck is kinda 👀👀👀#King of the specific category of “I forget I like him until he's on screen”#I'm seriously unlocking memories with this rewatch. Like I haven't thought about it in two years–#but I just know when I was watching the anime for the first time I was being like #“Of COURSE the villains need to spend several minutes each episode explaining in detail how their own superpowers work so that the–#protagonists can get a perfect idea of how to best counter them. Why are villains made so freaking stupid in this show” aljhvwslchvqliyqwb #But. Eh. I guess that's just bsd to you.#Alsoooooo random thought of the day: I don't really favour how Tanizaki's ability was adapted in the anime.#I very well understand they were going for this green Matrix-like illusion effect‚ but every time someone says “... Snow?”#I'm like please explain where do you live that has snow glowing green.#Aamsjgvfaskjhfv sorry this is me being very. Cranky and nitpicky and having terrible audience etiquette in refusing to–#engage in suspension of disbelief. It just bugs me akvakcvqkyb I just feel like... Green is such a non-snow color–#that quite of completely disrupts the Light Snow / Sasame Yuki aesthetic. I would have liked it much better light blue or simply white.#What else. The way the Guild just goes on at stereotypes still troubles me a lot. The “usamericans can't be touched by laws–#because they use money to corrupt anyone” “foreign criminal organization come in our country to corrupt our pure and untouched soil”#Idk. Maybe all of it is true. Can it still be deemed a stereotype when it's objectively something that's happened before–#and will probably keep happening?#I suppose I'm just not a fan of the constant hostility against any foreigner. Idk.#This situation besides is extremely ironical. If you meet me irl it probably won't take long to see me being very outspoken about–#how much I despise usa cultural colonization of all other countries. It's something that really bothers me‚ how rooted and pervasive–#their influence is. So in a lot of ways I can relate to the author's sentiment #I just feel that. If you start treating them as stereotypes and ignore the complexity of a country and the wide spectrum of causes–#that contribute to its attitude in international relations. You end up practicing precisely what you're trying to criticize.#Okay this is the last time I'm getting into the politics of the Guild arc lol #random rambles #This time I took watching the episode slow I feel a little late

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thedanceronthestreets · 1 year

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I genuinely don't think straight people can even begin to grasp how upsetting the homophobia in the ted lasso fandom is starting to become. It's coming from all sides: casual viewers i speak to in real life who laugh in my face when i mention the possibility of any of the main characters being queer ("there's more than enough gay stuff with colin being there", "you're making the keeley stuff up she's obviously straight cause she's with roy"), people on the internet saying "who even is this colin guy?" after him being on the show for 3 seasons or "baz doesn't need to be gay as well, stop making everybody gay". And this is about the show that's all about be true to yourself! Be curious not judgemental! Be kind! This show managed to curate that kind of audience. It all just feels so fucking impossible sometimes.

#i honestly think ted lasso is gonna fail the vito russo test #cause the potential queer characters they seem to have set up for a queer storyline (excluding keeley cause she'll end up with roy/jamie)#are all minor side characters #and people will be able to skip their isolated 2 minute scenes and just watch the rest of the show uninterrupted #and if the shwo does pass the test then the situation in the fandom is gonna get really fucking nasty #which is fine cause queer people are used to that #i know i say this with ⅔ of the season still ahead of us but then again that means i've seen 7/9 of the whole show #and i don't seem the earnestly turning this thing around in a meaningful way #and as i said even if they do against all odds then the fandom will turn into fight club #meaning queer fans are gonna be the target of hate either way #ted lasso spoilers #just realised how many typos there are in the tags so please ignore that i was Ranting <3

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not-souleaterpost · 15 days

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Does anybody know if that Warhammer 40k thing was popular in japan in the late 90s / early 2000s?

Like I admit I allways feel some kind of antipathy when I hear fans of it talk about it out of nowhere, I dont jive with it, so I am too tired to go read some silly lore books just for a hunch.

But just reading some random wiki page after somebody mentioned it in a random video, I suddenly started having one of my famous delusions of seeing connections:

Like the 'God" of the world being stuck in one place after killing his son who fell for madness?

The setting supposedly having "witches" who are described as using their madness-gotten magic powers to cause chaos without care?

The whole struggle between order and chaos thing?

Ancient evil gods whose presence drive people insane and to their side?

Like as I said, I dont care enough to get deep into it but still it feels like there is something there. One or two of these things I could just say "eh its common themes", but all of the listed ones...

So yeah, thats why the initial question - the Lovecraft connection with Ohkubo is an easy one because some Cthulu boardgame was and is popular during that time but with this idunno it could go eiter way🤷‍♂️ (yet on his weird blog he would mention both his obsession with games and the olympics, so if he was one of those "I paint miniatures 🤓" geeks, he must be one of the kind that are self aware enough to hide it😂)

#soul eater #atsushi ohkubo #warhammer 40k #connection #conspiracy #maybe I should start taking other meds besides my heart medication lol #but come on #or maybe this just shows how ignorant I am of common story tropes and set ups with this whole thing just being common in myths and shit #like I think somebody said it was in an arthurian legend #so if that is the easy answet #yeah...sorry #soul eater iceberg #the only reason I didn't just save it for that is cause I really dont want to get into this series lol but if somebody gives a good answer #I can credit you or some shit idk

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poorlittlevampire · 3 months

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im not gonna watch stranger things 5 anyways but the fact that they cut argyle from jt completely is soooo?????? he’s literally in hawkins the season ended with him IN HAWKINS what is the plan there. pretend he never existed???

#like he shouldve had a goodbye scene at the very least if they werent keeping the character around #i know they brought eddie back but this is the 2nd time theyve written out a character without really addressing it #cause they fully were gonna keep eddie dead and the only character we see on screen mourn him in ANY WAY is dustin #and they absolutely only kept him for season 5 bc of the fan response that dude was fully dead #stranger things sucks bc it had suuuuch a good strong first season and then #every season after just got worse and worse and the show is unwatchable at this point #like season 4 was unbearable to sit thru i barely finished it #👎👎👎#and thats ignoring everything with noah schnapp and someone else whose name i cannot remember rn #wasnt gonna watch anyways but goddamn #also apparently they didnt even call the actor to tell him hey ur not gonna be in season 5 just fyi #like girl!!!!!!!!! resept ur fucking actors its sooo simple

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engagemythrusters · 1 year

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Okay. Watching The Bad Batch for the first time and I’ve only gotten 2/3rds of the way thru the first season thus far, but I feel I now understand the characters well enough to start making conjectures.

So here’s what I’ve got so far:

Due to the inherent Muchness of heightened senses, I wouldn’t doubt a sensory processing disorder for Hunter. It’s clear that he’s gotten a handle on it (aka learned to adapt to, compensate for, and understand it) by the time TBB appears in The Clone Wars, but I bet it was hard to deal with when he was younger.

Wrecker appears to have a developmental/learning/intellectual disability of some sort, compounded by a TBI. He struggles with bigger words and is impulsive, along with other notable markers. This could have stemmed from the accident that left the facial scar and blinded his eye, but it seems that, based on how the other three original bad batch clones act around him, that this has always been a thing. A TBI likely added to this, because he seriously just keeps getting smacked in the head, the poor guy. He’s just a walking headache.

That being said, he likely gets lots of migraines. Seriously, that much head-smacking can’t result in a fun, happy time up in his head, pain-wise. I suspect the other four get them, too. Hunter has to process a lot of information from all senses, and Crosshair from his sight. That’s a lot to deal with, and I know I get headaches from a lot less. Tech… he’s staring at screens all day. Blue-light headaches much? And Echo… he’s literally got so much going on up there, technology wise, that it’s undoubtedly the cause of many a migraine. He’s one bad interface connection from a seizure, practically.

Crosshair has some attachment issues, I think. Like I believe all the clones would, had they not been programmed otherwise. They never got held by a caring individual, for gods sake. Maybe later generations had older brothers to hold them every so often, but that’s not enough. They never got one-on-one care. And, since his programming never kicked in correctly, Crosshair has all of that just shoved into his twig body. So, RAD, due to his obviously avoidant nature.

Tech is autistic and I don’t think that’s debatable, really. Like that textbook autism (which leads to a discussion about his savant nature being paired with a highly autistic-coded character and the harmful impact that could create for us autistic people in real life. The same harm of Wrecker’s disability vs how he’s treated as an ‘it’ in the show (said explicitly by Cid) and how Crosshair, with evident attachment issues, is demonised as the villain. BUT THATS ITS OWN ESSAY TO WRITE.)

Omega has ADHD and that one’s not heavily coded like the rest, but I think it fits!

None of them have true favourite siblings, but each are easier to go to for different things. Hunter, for leadership and emotional advice. Crosshair, for silent understanding (pre-chip activation). Wrecker, for emotional understanding and grounding. Tech, for intellectual advice and rationality. Echo, for interpersonal advice. Omega, for intrapersonal advice and a fresh, new perspective on everything.

I truly believe, in my heart of hearts, that Hunter would have the highest, shrillest scream. It doesn’t make sense, but it just seems right (to me personally).

Tech and Echo spend a lot of time on Echo’s implants and prostheses. Echo clearly isn’t using them for their original intent—some not even used at all—so they have to be updated, modified, or taken out. (As evidenced by the—I’m assuming what is a—neural interface he now wears and the lack of other implants he used to have in TCW.)

Echo has chronic pain, due to phantom limbs. That, and it must take a lot out of him for those prostheses. They're melded to him in a way that seems... not user-friendly. Techno Union wasn't doing it because they wanted him to live a fulfilling life. They did it because they needed him. They wouldn't care about his pain. It's unlikely that he doesn't feel constant pain. I'm guessing his everyday average pain level it's equivalent to what normal people (i.e.: people who aren't me or other chronic pain-havers) would consider a 4 out of 10.

I have a feeling that most of them know the basics of swimming, but likely aren’t good at it—Wrecker especially. And, with all that armour, it probably wouldn’t matter if they could swim or not. That shit will absolutely sink them. Omega, once taught, would LOVE IT, though.

Crosshair would let a tooka adopt him. As in, he would let the cat follow him around. Whether or not he’d do anything for or about the tooka… I don’t know. But he’d allow it. (Wrecker would dote on the thing if it followed him. Lula and said tooka would be his best buds. He may like explosions, but he’s a sweet guy at heart!)

Echo and Crosshair have absolutely held staring contests. Asserting dominance. (Somehow, despite not having been involved in the first place, Wrecker has won at least two of them.)

Hunter has a taste for meilooruns. Tech does not.

All of them snore. Echo’s even has an electronic buzzing to it. Tech is absolutely the loudest. Omega has wished to smother them all in their sleep.

#and they’re all Māori xoxo I’m not taking the fucking whitewashing #anyway that and also I really need to do a LONG WINDED ANALYSIS on the affects of handling disability in this show #it’s got a few good things #but mostly bad #(side note: please do not feel the need to agree with all these things! these are personal. if yku reblog you can say which—#—are the ones you do agree with and ignore the rest!)#(and another side note: maybe things like the swimming one will be proved wrong—that’s okay! this is based on the data I currently have #which isn’t much bc we currently only have one full season and two eps of the next as of this point)#(so overall: take with a small grain of salt! these are my headcanons based on current information!)#star wars: the bad batch #the bad batch #tbb #tbb omega #tbb crosshair #tbb wrecker #tbb hunter #tbb echo #tbb tech #god I have to tag a bunch of shit don’t I cause I don’t know What Is The Right Tags To Use #the bad batch omega #the bad batch hunter #the bad batch wrecker #the bad batch tech #the bad batch crosshair #the bad batch echo #clone trooper hunter #clone trooper crosshair #clone trooper wrecker #clone trooper tech #arc trooper echo

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fromtheseventhhell · 5 months

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what do you think about the affc 2003 old script release? sansa fans are claiming because it says “take north” it means actually retake the north instead of heading north

It's interesting to look at George's notes and try to line them up with the plotlines we already have, but it's hard to make predictions on future ones because of how fragmented they are. The only reason it's being used as proof is because Stansas have already decided that's how her story will play out; It's just confirmation bias.

Regarding Sansa's portion, I think it lines up with what we've already gotten from her AFFC + TWOW chapters. Her final AFFC chapter includes LF outlining his "plan", which is supposed to culminate in her revealing her identity, gaining the support of the Vale, and retaking the North...hence the "take the north" in the outline. The fact that it predates the Tourney on the list, introduced afterward in her TWOW sample, seems to line up. LF's "prizes" of returning her identity and Winterfell give us her motivations + reasoning for why she is, for now, willing to follow his plan. The only actual new point seems to be "Kill the Mouse".

It's hard to theorize on any of these because they could all be subject to change/revision but to me, this outline shows that George has an entire arc in the Vale planned out of her. The Tourney hasn't even begun yet, we have Myranda potentially realizing Sansa's identity, Sansa hasn't even begun allying with the knights of the Vale, an engagement to Harry hasn't been secured, SW's health is up in the air, I doubt that the Mad Mouse will be killed off anytime soon, etc. She has a lot of story left to play out where she is and nothing actually indicates that she will be physically heading North anytime soon. The issue is that people keep trying to align her book arc with the show. Ultimately we won't ever really know until George releases TWOW, but it is funny to me that this is taken as ultimate proof when there's so much from George that they ignore. They'll rally around a few fragmented thoughts from 10 years ago, but then they ignore it when he outright says he has no idea what D&D are doing with Sansa and that things will be very different in the books 🤷🏾‍♀️

#ask #anon #anti sansa stans #just in case #George has said several times that the books and the show are different but somehow that's always ignored/debated #but I'm supposed to take a bunch of fragmented scribbles as absolute proof...asoiaf fandom logic in a nutshell 😭#also not to be a party-pooper but that transcription is debatable given how sloppy George's writing is (he's just like me fr)#looking at George's notes makes me realize why we don't have TWOW yet 💀#wished he didn't cross out some of those points cause they could've been really interesting...maybe he'll circle back #it would also be very interesting if Sansa was the one to ultimately kill the Mad Mouse considering he's targeting her #like if he does kidnap her but she kills him before they reach her destination #I doubt it will play out like that but it's fun to think about

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peony-pearl · 11 months

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Zuko mentions to Ursa he would like for his little siblings to come to the Fire Nation to enjoy the summer festival.

By saying ‘siblings’ she knows he’s talking about Chiyo and Katsu - Ozai’s children.

Ursa, Noren and Kiyi have taken residence at the Fire Nation palace for years now, ever since Ursa was discovered on the outskirts of Hira’a. Once Zuko got the information out of Ozai just over ten years ago where his mother had taken up residence, he was escorted there by Aang to reunite with her. Ursa did not hesitate to return to her children once Zuko lifted her banishment, and she was a key figure in Azula’s recovery.

When Ozai broke out of prison, Ursa was a driving force in trying to find him after he threatened Azula’s life. Knowing he was out there, free, for the past decade has haunted her.

And then, just two years ago, Zuko and Azula received news of his whereabouts... and they found him with the help of Aang, Katara and June.

And they let him keep his freedom.

Zuko’s explanation of the events sounded like a bad dream. Ursa listened to her boy, whom Ozai had savagely scarred as a child, defend his decision after seeing Ozai happy out in some Earth Kingdom farm with a new family.

She was speechless. Zuko had left children in the midst of this monster.

Azula was the one who was more critical of her father’s new life. She vented to Ursa about the pain of seeing him so happy with this naive, sheltered woman who decided to stay with Ozai even after learning about his past. Regardless, Azula would eventually begin receiving letters from both the woman, Niwa, and from her younger sister, Chiyo.

And then Zuko dropped the bombshell.

Chiyo was an Airbender.

Ursa spoke to Aang upon his return with Zuko and Azula. He seemed over the moon, to not only learn there was another Airbender in the world, but she was the descendant of one of Aang’s fellow Southern Air Temple residents, and this revelation gave him hope that there could be more Airbenders in waiting out in the world.

And yet, despite all of this... Ursa could only remember the man who who began denying her as a wife when his lust for the crown became stronger; the man who planted the seeds of lies to his daughter of her being a monster, seeds that blossomed into a beautiful, deadly flower. A flower that he ripped out of it’s garden bed and crushed under his boot when she was no longer useful. And Zuko, the son that he turned against and berated and scolded when all he ever did was his best, until the day he finally tried to step into more assertive shoes earned him a permanently damaged eye.

“So...” Zuko begins to speak. “I’ve thought about inviting dad and Niwa and the kids. I’ll make sure he doesn’t come around you, or Noren or Kiyi. But... he’s kept his end of his promise so far. I’ve thought it was only fair to extend a hand back to him.”

Ursa knew the promise: to write to Zuko and Azula, and to maintain a form of communication on a regular basis.

Zuko also regularly received letters from Niwa and Chiyo, and each one ensured truth to Ozai’s words. Even Azula, who often worried that Ozai was telling Chiyo what to write, would read her little sister’s letters that contained questions and thoughts only a seven year old could ask.

Ursa sighs as Zuko makes his case; he stumbles as he sees his mother’s unhappiness. “I-I can have them stay on the other side of the palace,” he says. Azula sits next to Ursa; Aang sits next to her.

Azula squeezes her mother’s hand. “Or we don’t have to invite him.”

Zuko nods, albeit reluctantly, to his sister’s suggestion. Azula becomes miffed.

“Why are you so adamant to see him here?”

“I’m not! I just-”

“You’ve asked every year since we found him if he can visit.”

“That’s only two years, Azula,” Zuko sighs. “Uncle’s been asking about him too.”

“Well, Uncle’s senile,” Azula crossed her arms.

“Azula,” Ursa gently admonished her daughter, who turned her gaze away as she pouted.

Aang touched Azula’s knee, but remained focused on Zuko. “Maybe just invite the kids?”

Zuko shook his head. “Katsu is only two, and to give up her kids so suddenly for a week may not be easy for Niwa.”

Aang grinned at Azula. “It would be good practice though.”

“Get your head out of those clouds; no kids until those vows are said,” Azula smirked.

“You keep declining my engagement!”

“This is a talk for another time,” Azula hissed quietly.

Ursa, having maintained her silence, wrings her hands together. “... Zuko, in the end, you are the Fire Lord. And this is your home.”

Zuko shakes his head. “Yeah, but-”

Ursa holds up her hand. “I admit. I am not keen on seeing him again. Ever again. But... I know this is something you’ve felt strongly about. Ultimately, the decision is yours to make. I simply ask that you inform me of the decision so I can... make arrangements.”

Azula grinned. “Poison arrangements?” She asked, nudging her mother’s ribs. Ursa chuckled.

“If only I could be so lucky.”

“Guys,” Zuko said in exasperation. “Look... I’ll just invite them next y-”

“No, stop it.” Azula rolled her eyes. “Just tell them to come. Spirits, you’re such a downer, Zuzu.”

“Yeah, Zuzu,” Aang echoed his fiancee. Zuko shot him a tired look.

“I agree,” Ursa said. “Invite them. Besides; should anything go wrong, we have you three to keep him in his place; and Kiyi is becoming more proficient in her own bending.”

“Yeah; if he pulled anything we could take him!” Aang agreed.

Ursa could see the look on Zuko’s face though; but still, he nodded and watched as Aang and Azula decided to retire to bed. Ursa lingered, waiting to talk to her son in private.

“Zuko,” she said, reaching out to touch his shoulder. “You don’t owe him any-”

“This isn’t about owing him. I know where I stand on what dad did to me; to us.”

“And yet you’re so hopeful to see him again.”

“Is it wrong to hope for a new path? I found mine, mom. Outside of the Fire Nation. Away from him. I found my life, my meaning. And so has he. I saw it. I saw him experience a life he’d become fully invested in. I saw two happy kids; a beautiful home... And...”

“... And?” Ursa asked.

Zuko swallowed.

“... And I was so mad he found it without us. But you know what? I also found my path without Azula. And... she’ll always have that in her mind. But she’s forgiven me.”

“She could not control the struggles you faced.”

“As I couldn’t control hers; and I’ll always have dad’s favoritism to remember. We’ve all been subjected to lives we didn’t want. Dad was one of them. So were you.”

Ursa folded her arms in front of her, looking much like her daughter. Zuko pleaded to her, still not quite over the fact that he was so much taller, and yet he still spoke to her like she towered over him.

“Mom... The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But there’s a part of me that wants to see this through. He’s my father. And I’ve hated him, and part of me still hates him. But after everything I’ve learned... if Aang can forgive me for everything I allowed to happen to him and his friends... if Uncle can forgive me for turning away from him, I want to know I can reciprocate that.”

“You don’t have to forgive him.”

“Mom, I haven’t. I will never forgive him for what he did to me, or Azula, or you. But I feel like I have an obligation, as the Fire Lord, to make sure he’s not causing trouble. I called off the searches once I saw how much he’s changed. Others have done the same for me. Time goes on. He... He looked out for me back when we were looking for Chiyo. I was hurt and he stayed with me.”

Ursa’s eyes widened as Zuko recalled the event to her for the first time.

“When I told him we would find Chiyo he was thankful for me. I... Sometimes I think maybe now... Maybe now I could get to know my dad-”

“Zuko you don’t have to.”

“I know I don’t. But it’s my decision. I respect every bit of advice I get from you but this is something... something I need to do for myself. If Azula never wants to see him again after this, I will never invite him again.”

Ursa reached out to hold her son’s hand.

“And you’re not scared?” She asked. Zuko laughed.

“Mom, I’m terrified.”

Ursa’s face became one of determination.

“Then I will be right here with you.”

“I’m not scared that he’ll hurt me,” Zuko insisted. “Like you said, we can handle him if he were to become a threat.”

Ursa clasped Zuko’s hand tightly with both of hers. “But you’re still scared,” she said. “And I won’t let you be scared alone; not after I missed so many years.”

#atla #a continuation even though I haven't even started on the official fic for Homestead lmao #I've already done the ship swap for Aang so now he's romancing it up with Azula XD #also I ignore Ursa's origins from the comic but I do keep Noren and Kiyi #but the face change doesn't happen so Noren is just Noren #I'm also really invested in Zuko's interest in seeing how a visit with his old man will go #like #if Ozai can see himself in Zuko #the thought of Zuko remembering how hard it is to prove to people he's changed and seeing his dad invested in proving himself?#idk it gives me feels that Zuko could show such leadership by leading by this huge example #besides so long as his dad isn't causing trouble then that's a good thing right?#But it's such a sore spot because Ozai was such a crap dad #but Zuko sees Ozai being a great dad to Chiyo and Katsu #and Zuko wants to foster better childhoods for his siblings #Zuko and Ozai being reverse mirrors of each other will always give me brainworms #my writing

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