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solangelover · 5 years

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Considerations and Steps

A/N: Do I express my feelings through Nico? Almost always. Am I Nico di Angelo? Yet to be seen.

Read on AO3 or FF.Net or Wattpad

“I think I made a bad decision.”

“Nico, you’re being unreasonable.”

“Hazel, this is literally me being the most reasonable being, ever.”

Nico was currently pacing the Hades cabin as Hazel sat cross-legged on her bed. He had just realized he had feelings for Will and was freaking out, just a little.

“Nico, literally nothing has even happened yet. You haven’t done anything except nervously pace for the past hour.” Hazel rolled her eyes at her brother, feeling her patience wear thin.

“Yeah, but like, I like him.” He stopped and turned towards his sister, eyes wide. “I like Will. Will Solace!” Nico threw his hands up in the air and resumed his pacing.

“Yes,” Hazel drew out, “We established that. An hour ago.”

“Sooo, what I’m saying is that I made the decision to like him. I somehow thought that was okay. And now that I’ve admitted it, and told someone,” he vaguely gestured in her direction, “I can’t take it back. That, right there, is the bad decision. What I should have done was keep it out of my mind and proceeded about life like normal, because now I can’t.” Nico’s hands were now bunched up in his hair, and Hazel was worried he was on the verge of ripping it all out.

“Nico,” she said sternly, causing Nico to look at her as she meaningfully patted the empty space beside her. “Sit down and listen before you either go bald or full white.”

Nico stalked over and plopped down beside his sister, all slumped and pitiful-like. Hazel had to stifle a laugh and re-channel her legionnaire-command voice. “Have you ever considered that this is a good thing? Or that maybe you’re overreacting?” Nico frowned up at her through his bangs, but before he could respond, she forged ahead. “You like Will. Okay, that is duly noted. Next step is to ask him out? Or tell him somehow? Because you’re currently freaking out about the fact that you like him, which will really never change until you do something about it.”

Nico was glaring a hole into the floorboards of their cabin. Well, at least the rambling stopped, Hazel thought to herself.

“But—” Nevermind. “I think you’re forgetting the in-between consideration of if Will likes me back. Or even the step before that of whether or not Will even likes guys. But before that—” Hazel groaned loudly, throwing her head back, but Nico was determined to say his piece. “I think it just makes more sense for me to not do anything. I think we can just let this realization blow over and just, forget about it.” He shrugged, trying to emphasize how unimportant this was. “It’ll be fine, nothing will change, and—”

“And,” Hazel continued for him, “you can let this eat you alive every time you see Will, which is very often, mind you, until you go insane.” She raised an unconvinced eyebrow at him. “Tell me why, exactly, this is a ‘bad decision’?”

Nico squinted his eyes at her. “First off, I can control myself, Hazel. Second, it’s a bad decision for many reasons.” He stood up and began pacing again, to which Hazel promptly fell back on the bed with an even louder groan than before. “One,” he ticked off on his fingers, “Will might not like guys, so that would just be utterly embarrassing for me.” Nico cringed at the thought of seeing Will look disgustingly at him. He knows Will would be better than that, but still. He couldn’t imagine living through the humiliation of liking a hot, straight guy twice in his lifetime. “Two, if Will does like guys, he might not like me since I’m a weird, dark, creepy son of Hades, which is the literal opposite of him. He’s all sunshine and happiness and healing and wonderful and…” Nico realized he would’ve kept going if he didn’t literally snap his mouth shut. He glanced over at Hazel, who had rolled over and propped her head up on her hand, looking up at Nico with a smirk. His face heated up.

“Can I just say—”

“No,” Nico stopped Hazel before she could interrupt. “Let me finish my list, then you can say whatever.”

Hazel looked at him incredulously. “How long is this list??”

Nico ignored her question and continued. “Third, even if Will did like me, I’m sure I can’t be what he needs. I have no idea what to do in a relationship, I hate physical touch, I can barely—no, I can’t hold a conversation, and I don’t know what else because I haven’t been in a relationship, but I’m sure I can’t do it.” Nico frowned in thought. Maybe he wanted to hold Will’s hand, but in front of others? No way. But if Will wanted that, who was Nico to stand in the way? Will should get to express his feelings how he wants, and he should get all the perks of being in a relationship. Nico couldn’t promise him anything close to that.

Nico shook his head. “Fourth, even if we did date, I am 100% sure I’d ruin it.” At this, Hazel sat up, a protest on her lips, but Nico quickly kept going. “I would, it’s not like it would be his fault. If anyone would mess up, it would be me. I’m not meant for happiness like that. I have so much schist in my life, there is no way I am tainting William ‘Literal Sunshine’ Solace. He deserves to be happy and I can’t be selfish and take that away. I’ll say something wrong and it’ll hurt him, I’ll run off randomly and worry him, I’ll do something and Will will get the negative effects.” Nico had stopped pacing at this point, staring dejectedly down at his feet. He knew all of this in his head, but saying it out loud, Nico knew he couldn’t let his crush grow to anything more than that. He couldn’t, wouldn’t bring Will down with him. He was basically a bad luck charm – looking back on his life, that wasn’t hard to believe, especially in the love department. Death and destruction followed him. He would hurt Will. “I just know it,” Nico whispered.

Suddenly, strong arms wrapped themselves around his torso and brown curls filled his vision. “Oh, Nico,” Hazel whispered into his chest. She looked up at him, her expression concerned but understanding. And then, “You’re so dumb.”

Nico was taken aback. “W-What?” he stammered.

Hazel sighed, pulling him to sit back on the bed. She brought her legs up and fully faced him, holding on to both of his hands. “Nico di Angelo, you are an amazing person, and don’t you forget it.” Nico’s eyebrows creased in confusion and opened his mouth to speak, but Hazel put a finger to his lips. “Na-ah! My turn now,” she smirked, then sobered up once more and continued. “You are a hero. You fought in two wars. You saved countless lives. You rescued me,” she smiled fondly at him. “You went through so much to help Percy and defeat Gaea. You, dear brother, single-handedly transported the Athena Parthenos and two passengers across the Atlantic. You almost died saving the world, several times probably. You,” she poked him in the chest for emphasis, “are so incredible and awe-inspiring. You just need to see it. Don’t you dare think that you are anything less.”

Nico was at a loss for words. He expected a few things from this conversation, but not this. He didn’t know how to handle being praised so highly. It didn’t make sense to him.

Luckily, he was spared from responding as Hazel moved forward. “Now, I wasn’t going to tell you this because I thought you should find out on your own, but I now see how hopeless you are.” Nico squawked indignantly as Hazel rolled her eyes. “You are. Anyways,” she flicked her hair back and looked Nico directly in the eyes. “Will is definitely into guys, and he’s definitely into you.”

Hazel waited for that to sink in. She would have to wait for an eternity, because that was not processing at all in Nico’s brain. Will is into guys? Will is gay? But he could’ve sworn he heard something about an ex-girlfriend. Can he like both? Is that a thing? Wait, wait, back on track… wait, Will is into Nico? That’s not possible… wait, “How do you even know that?” Nico voiced. Hazel doesn’t go to this camp, there’s no way she could pick up on that in the few times she and Will have interacted.

“Nico, I know all things.” Nico gave her a deadpan look, and Hazel gave it up immediately. “Okay, okay, so Piper has told me things. But also,” she held up a finger defensively. “I can tell by the stories you tell me about you and Will.” She smiled, remembering how every Iris message they had involved the healer somehow. “You guys hang out all the time! So, obviously, he doesn’t not like you. So, you can cross that one off your list.” She motioned sweepingly, as if throwing out the list completely. Nico frowned, not appreciating his list being dismissed so easily. “Will totally likes you, Nico, or he wouldn’t nag you about your health,” now she was the one ticking things off on her fingers, “insist on you sitting at the Apollo table, ask you to help in the infirmary, sit by you at the campfire, stay up late talking outside your cabin until the harpies begin to swarm—”

“Okay, okay, enough. I get it,” Nico cut her off before he could become more embarrassed. In this context, it did sound like Will paid more attention to Nico than a normal friend would. But— “Will is a nice guy, though,” Nico protested. Why am I protesting when I want this to happen? Oh right, because— “That doesn’t change the fact that I don’t know what I’m doing and I’ll mess up somehow, and then my friendship with Will will be gone too, and I can’t…” Can’t live without him, Nico realized, and that scared him even more than the crush.

Hazel put a sympathetic hand on his shoulder. “No one knows what they’re doing in relationships, Nico. It’s something you figure out together. That’s the beauty of it,” she threaded her fingers together with Nico’s, “you get someone to walk alongside you, to figure out life together. It’s not always easy, and it’s rarely ever simple, but it’s real as long as you’re real. And honest. And the most honest thing you can do right now is tell Will how you feel.” Nico took a breath, ready to object, that no that still seems… scary, but Hazel already knew what he was going to say. “It’s scary, terrifying really, but it’s the most real thing you can do. I can’t make you any real promises,” though Hazel very much wanted to, “but I am confident that you won’t regret it. You can’t have this weigh down on you forever.”

Nico deflated, all fight leaving his body. He couldn’t say much to that. The thought of getting it out in the open sounded… freeing, but also paralyzing. But his sister seemed really sure on the Will liking him part, and he trusted her, wanted her to be right.

He still felt like running away, like burying his feelings would make them go away, but he knew better than that. And, as paranoid as he was, this felt different from Percy. He was an infatuation from the start. But Nico had been friends with Will for months now, he didn’t have any grand illusions about him. They knew each other, and somehow, their relationship didn’t seem as impossible as Nico had thought pre-rant.

For the first time, Nico actually felt hopeful.

He turned and hugged his sister tightly. “Thank you,” he said softly into her hair. He felt her smile against his shoulder and squeeze just a little tighter.

She glanced up at him suddenly, a teasing smirk on her lips. “William ‘Literal Sunshine’ Solace, huh?”

Nico pushed her away and rolled his eyes, feeling the blush in his cheeks betray him. “Shut up.”

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littlemisssquiggles · 5 years

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How does rooster teeth get the message of criticisms... cause I just really want them to know I was thoroughly disappointed with Oscar’s character this volume... he was on the front of the poster for God’s sakes. Sorry I just needed to rant 😅😇 and hopefully they act on it in volume 7 and make him one of the focal characters next volume.

To be honest I’m not sure anon-chan. The closest thing Icould think of is that the RT CRWBY staffs probably watch all the critique contentfrom RWBY Youtubers on YouTube and browse through fancomments on Twitter and Reddit. I also heard that Miles and Kerry sometimes frequent the RWBY Official Reddit page and then there is the RWBY fan base on the RoosterTeeth website.

I’m not sure about much the CRWBY check out Tumblrthough. I know there is a RoosterTeeth Tumblr page but that hasn’t been updatedin a while, I believe. Regarding Oscar,well I’ve already voiced my piece on that several times over. I will say thisanon. Don’t think of V6 as being a let-down in terms of Oscar’s promiseddevelopment but rather the first legit chapter in his arc.

Despite this volume’s shortcomings, one positive Oscar-worthy thing that I liked about this season is that the CRWBY actually used Oscar a lotmore during V6. We didn’t learn moreabout him as a character or his past at all this season but at least we got tosee Oscarcontribute more to the team.

There wasn’t a single episode of V6 where Oscar didn’t have screen timeor at least one moment where he contributed to the plot in some shape or form. Bruh,that was a welcomed changed compared to his underutilization in V5 where hispresence was constantly interrupted by Ozpin; short of the infamous dojo scenewith Ruby.

While I am disappointed that Oscar is still prettymuch a blankcanvas as he was between V4 and V5with V6 providing nothing new to his character than what was already introducedabout him in previous seasons, nevertheless, I’m hopeful for the Atlas Arc.

I have a feeling that come V7 going more into the full arc trilogy, theCRWBY Writers will start to bring Oscar more to the forefront again.I know Atlas is supposed to focus on Weiss’ side of story. I have no doubtthat Weiss is going to be the frontrunner for the Atlas Arc, particularly V7which I believe will focus on her family affairs and the crimes of the SDC withthe Faunus Abuse.

However I also have a feeling that Atlas will beOscar’s time in the spotlight aswell. I do feel wemay learn more about Oscar going forward in Atlas. At least that’swhat I’m hoping for; fingers crossed. I understand your pain. As a Pinehead,I too have grown a bit weary of the Writers lack of fleshing Oscar out more.

It took them, what…five seasons for us to finally learn more about Ozpin and hispast—well kind of since Jinn’s story didn’t touch on the lifetimes Ozma spentas the Hermit,the King of Vale and lastly Headmaster of Beacon. I’d like to thinkthere was valid reason for omitting these three lives particularly because Ifeel the Hermitand the King of Vale especially helped shape Ozpin into the man hewas.

I feel like we’ll see more of Ozpin’s story andmemories for the Atlas Arc as well which in turn is wrapped up in Oscar’sstory. I’m hopeful for Oscar getting more focus in Atlas since he’s on his own.While Ozpin and Oscar are on good terms since Oz did return to help Oscarmomentarily, Oz is still gone.

Since Oz has locked himself deep inside Oscar’smind, I’m praying this is a sign that at some point Oscar is going to jump into his mind to findOzpin. I’ve always wanted to see a visual representation of Oscar’s mind—howit looks from within since he shares it with Ozpin.

And since it’s Oscar’s mind—this is a way for us asthe audience to live through Oscar’s memories and learn more about him and his pastfrom the cherished childhood memories within his mind. Since we will never goback to Oscar’s home on the farm, physically in the show, the best way now is throughhis memories.

I hope the Writers have something good and concreteplanned for Oscar’s arc down the line. I kind of lost faith in them a bit in V6 C9but…I’m giving them a chance again since they are the ones who made Oscar.

They are the ones who created Oscar and are writinghis story. So I want to believe they have something good planned for him thatthey are slowly taking their good ass time to build up to. That’s the mind-setI’m approaching this with. If the Ozpinheads had towait for their boy to get some development and depth, we Pineheads gotta be patienttoo. Our boy’s time iscoming. We just have to wait out the storm and look out for the bright rainbow onthe other side.

To close off my answer post, I’m going to concludewith a small squigglescript. It’s a small rewrite of theairship scene from the V6 finale from the point where Ruby Rose becamea Pinehead a la five minutes to make the others appreciateOscar.

As much as my Rosegardening Pinehead heart loved thatmoment to bits the first time I saw it…if the Writers really wanted to sell uson the group showing appreciation for Oscar, they shouldn’t have let Ruby pointit out.

I mean I love thatRuby was sweet enough to direct everyone’s attention to Oscar but…when I lookback on that scene, it feels kind of…cheap, for lack of a better word. In the sensethat, before that, everyone genuinely acknowledged Ruby’s greatness (becauseof course, she’s our protagonist who did some recklessly badass shit for thefinale) but needed Ruby to spell out Oscar’s appreciation like “LOOK! LOOK ATHIM! APPRECIATE THE GOOD FARM BOY FOR HE IS GOOD!”

Don’t get me wrong. I still adore that sceneespecially for Oscar’s reaction to Ruby’s over exaggerated attempt to make theothers appreciate him. I mean it works as the perfect relatable meme it is becausethat is literally the epitome of me as a Pinehead havingto explain to other fans why I love Oscar so much, why he’s my favourite RWBYCharacter and why he’s so good as a character in general. However, if the CRWBY’sintention was to make the others appreciate Oscar, it could have been done alittle better.

That being said, I took a crack at rewriting thisscene. Again, this is just my interpretation. This is also NOT me trying to harpon the CRWBY Writers. Just a little what if scene that I wanted to take a shot at depicting. So let’s go:

RWBY SquiggleScript #013: Oscar-worthy Appreciation

Picture it: What if … the airship scenefrom the V6 finale episode was extendedto highlight the whole team acknowledging Oscar and showering him with moreappreciation and love before he spills the beans about Ozpin.

Ruby: *awkwardly*… Hey stop it!

Ren: You petrified aLeviathan after diving down the barrel of a canon!

Ruby: *awkwardly*…Uhh…ha…don’t act like you all haven’t done crazy stuff before. I—Imean… *points atJaune* Jaune! Jaune jumped in front of a giant mechahand to save Nora!

Alleyes fall on Jaune now.

Weiss: *frankly* Thatis true.

Nora: That was pretty crazy.

Ruby: *smirking cockily* Ha!

Jaune: What! Hey! W–Well…thatwas only because…*pointsat Nora* Nora startedfiring missiles at Cordo like a mad woman!

Nora: Well that’s onlybecause Ren…*points in Ren’sdirection* jumped onto Cordo’s backto take out her shields!

Ren: *flatly* Yeah,I did do that. You got me. Well…Blake finallytook down her abusive ex.

Blake: Yeah with Yang’s help and only after she hit him with her motorcycle!

Yang: Rest in pieces my beautifulbike. But…didn’t you guys say that Weiss summoned agiant Wasp?

Weiss: *incredulously* To save your crazy sister who jumped on the face of a giant robot!

Ruby: Heeey!

Alleyes returned to Ruby again and she’s sulks. Qrow chuckles from the passengerseat.

Qrow: *amusedly*Back to you it seems kiddo.

Ruby: Oh don’t you start withme Mr. Disappeared for several hours and ends up passed out in front of Jaune’ssister’s house.

Qrow: Hey I thought we wereswapping crazy things we’ve done stories.

Ruby: That was crazy!

Maria: She’s right. You were amess.

Qrow: Well at least I’m notthe one who annoyed Cordovin by eating cashews and then flew the airshipstraight into her canon.

Mariaopened her mouth to retort but quickly shut it afterwards; resorting toshrugging instead with an amused smirk.

Maria: *admittedly* Well… you got me there!

Mariathen playfully punches Qrow’s arm, chuckling lightly. Her laughter is soonjoined in by everyone else on the ship. Through her giggles, Ruby spots Oscar,whose laughing face locks eyes with her. Her flashes her a small smile and Rubyreturns it with a sudden cheeky grin.

Ruby: Heyyy…aren’t weforgetting someone? *unsubtly nodding in Oscar’s direction*

Fortunately,the others had the same idea.

Jaune: You are right aboutthat.

Noweveryone’s attention was on Oscar and the former farm boy shrinks a bit as he noticedall eyes suddenly on him.

Oscar: *awkwardly*…Wh—Why is everyonelooking at me? *handsflaying* I don’t have any crazy stories?

Ruby: Nope but you do havesome good farmboy stories.

Nora: You forgave Jaune afterhe acted like a total butt which to me shows maturity.

Ren: Way more maturity thanJaune.

Jaune: Hey! Aren’t you supposedto be my friends? *coughs* But…um…they areright. You’ve done great for us, Oscar.

Oscar: *scratches the back of his head awkwardly* … I…didn’t really do much, really.

Ruby: *perkily* Sure you did!

Weiss: You stood up to Dudleyfrom the Argus and warned us about the tunnel.

Yang: You stood up to Ozpinand told us about Jinn.

Blake: We wouldn’t have beenable to make it out of Brunswick Farms alive if you hadn’t fixed the tire forus to get away.

Jaune: And Ruby wouldn’t haveknown to go for the canon if it wasn’t for your brilliant observation about themissile launcher. You got good eyes, kid.

Ruby: *smiling at Oscar* You’ve come a long way, farm boy.

Oscar: *cheeks turning red* Uh…thanks, I think?

Nora: *cooing* Aww are you blushing?

Oscar: *embarrassedly; trying to cover his flushedcheeks with the collar of his jacket*N—NoI’m not!

Yang: He is! *grinningmischievously; pointing a metal finger at Oscar’s reddened face*

Oscar: *defiantly*No I’m not! *looks up at Ruby* Ruby…help .

Ruby: Alright guys, quitteasing him. *clapshand smiling broadly* Besides you’reforgetting the best part.

Ruby: *animatedly* Oscar, made a successful crash landing! He’s a fourteen year oldfarmhand.

Ruby makes the same exaggerated gestures to draw more attention to Oscar as shedid in the episode.

Oscar: *groaning* I said help me.

Ruby: *smirking at Oscar with a small wink* Shut up and let us love you.

Jaune: That was…seriouslyimpressive

Blake: We’d have been strandedwithout you.

Oscar: I…thanks but…I’ve beenmeaning to tell you guys. I didn’t land the ship on my own.

Andthe rest of the scene plays out as it did the canon episode.

~LittleMissSquiggles (2019)

#squiggles answers: rwby #oscar pine #ruby rose #rwby theories #rwby v6 spoilers #rwby v7 theories #squiggles scripts: rwby #Anonymous

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xottzot · 7 years

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2017-4(APR)-27-Thursday--(later)--crime--please contact me Fliss, Felicity Anne Carthew of News South Wales Australia.

PLEASE contact me Fliss. It is urgent.

------------------------------------------------------------------------

Years ago, when dear Fliss and I were happily together, Fliss got herself involved with a woman named Jane F.

That woman Jane had small family, a young daughter and a young son, and a husband who was an alcoholic. To what extent he was an alcoholic I have no idea nor was I ever told at all, or how it was affecting anything.

But dear Fliss took it upon herself to convince Jane to extricate the husband out of the family home of theirs and then banish him. Which the woman subsequently did. And then, armed with seemingly newfound power, this woman began all manner of things, and which involved dear Fliss doing a lot of lomg hard work and making money available to her. (Fliss refused to tell me to what extent and how much, but it was astronomical, especially as dear Fliss and I were struggling so desperatly ourselves financially. But one day dear Fliss slipped up and revealed to me just how much....and it REALLY WAS A HUGE AMOUNT FOR US.

That created a lot of friction, but I forgave dear Fliss and comforted dear Fliss to reinforce the fact that I was not angry with her.

There weer MANY other instances where this woman Jane USED Fliss to Fliss's own detriment. Fliss always kept silent about it all, to me and to this woman who she was always supposedly 'helping'. -- This is what lead to Fliss having a nervous breakdown in the coming time.

What also contributed to dear Fliss's mental state was that by by now we had diassociated ourselves completely from Jane, and Fliss was very much in a terrible delicate state of mind mentally.

What had made things worse was that Jane ws supopsedly leaving the state of Western Australia here to go off to the other side of Australia in Queensland to hook up with a man she had met online. (sound familiar?)

Jane was going to leave her entire life behind and restart in Queensland with this man.

Before this however, (in West Australia) Janes parents had stepped in after the husband had been thrown out of the marriage by her, and the parents actually purchased the house they had been living in and were going to renovate it. Jane was more than set for life now. No debts at all. But she was intent on going to Queensland. -- (All this is what Fliss told me by the way.)

But before Jane left, somehow she ensnared my brother, the ONLY person alive I have as a relation (but more on this later), and the two of them had a not-so-secret short affair. (his first)

Dear Fliss and I both agred that Jane had only done this to 'get back' at Fliss and I.

And then Jane just dumped my brother and tossed him away on his ear. He could not understand it, or why. He crashed physically and also mentally and was sobbing. Dear Fliss saw all this herself. - My brother is completely estranged from me. I cannot EVER try to talk to him about any of him and Jane. It has resulted in physical harm being done to me by him and for me to seek medical attention. To this very day, I still have terrible pain from the injury I sustained. (as if I didn't have enough terrible pain)

Dear Fliss and I sought out one of my brothers closest friends, (Craig) and we tried to explain (IN PERSON) what was happening to my brother. But this friend would NOT BELIEVE WHAT WAS GOING ON and this friend of my brothers invented some crazy idea that he grabbed onto and refused to listen to dear Fliss and I trying to explain anything. We just could NOT get him to listen to dear Fliss and I. -- And so dear Fliss and I left his house and returned here to this hovel. WIth a sense of faluire at having even tried alll that.

But Fliss's mental and emotional state was torn to pieces and she was never right again. And it became worse and worse and worse.

Dear Fliss sought private 'counselling' but only from one person whom she had grown to trust. Dear Fliss has had very terrible experiences in the past with mental health experts during her time after her terrible ordeals in being attacked first by her Australian Army comrades, and then attacked by very vicious thugs on a public train when she was on her way back home from the Army on leave. (all this happened long before I met dear Fliss), but Fliss was severely physicaly attacked which affected her for the rest of her life.

Fliss's parents, her Mother and Father seem to have now stepped in and taken full control over Fliss. I can never be ceratai unless I can voice talk with Fliss herself that ANYTHING us true. And to arranage such a telephone call its being preveneted each time I to for reconciliation.

As such, dear Fliss was always trying to avoid ANY emotional conflicts.

And later inlife, we she and I had got together and dear Fliss and moved to West Australia to live with me, I was always cognicant and careful to protect dear Fliss from any conflucts as bets I could, but there were MANY conflicts where she herself was involved with that I had nohting to do with, but which I had to help patch Fliss back together again, and again, and again.....

And so, when the entitre 'Jane' affair blew up abnd destroyed my brother, he somehow came to blame Fliss despite Fliss not EVER being cause to blame at all!

That lead to my brother and I becoming estranged. And he deteriorated very badly indeed. He talks to himself constantly, has arguments with himself, entire conversations, and when if I ever tried to tell him that he was doing this, it resulted in fierce argyments from him with him threatening physical violence upon me. And which one time actually occurred, to which I was severely injured (I did not fight back) and I had to seek medical attention for injuries sustained. It also involved the Police being called to this hovel to try to talk to him and stop him flying into such violent rages. Which he is still VERY wont to to do at any moment.

dear Fliss unfairly blamed HERSELF for everything. Dear Fliss was NEVER to blame for ANY of it!

But it activated massive turmoil within her. She sought medial help. They couldn't. She sought mental help and was successful in finding a person (a woman named "Madelaine") who dear Fliss attached herself to.

I have written about this before I think, but I wondered what (if any) help or progress was being made with dear Fliss because dear Fliss was becoming worse.

She was being fired from job after job after job that she was very good at, which even the employers and fellow employees agreed, but they always kept finding excuses to fire her. And all this added more terrible turmoil to dear Fliss.

Thinsg became do bad for Fliss within herself, that she fled from me here in this hovel, and fled back to New South Wales to be with her parents.

I have no idea what was told. Fliss herself never told me.

I contacted a friend of hers in Queensland (Cath W.), a writer, a housewife, and who had her own problems with life and so on. Cath was absolutely SHOCKED when I told her everything. She said she had never knonw ANYTHING about ANY of it concerning dear Fliss depsite them being close friends and is one of Fliss's closest friend whom she trusts. But dear Fliss NEVER EVER told Cath anything.

The terrible turmoil at that time was as nothing as it is now.

Fliss spent some time with Cath at Cath's home in Queensland. And dear Fliss returned to me and I was overjoyed and crying. (Fliss hardly ever cries and sees it as a sign of 'weakness', a vestige of her time in the Australian military and her own truly terrible ordeals outside of it).

I thought that things with FLiss and I were going to get better.

But they didn't. NOT because of me. But because of the terrible things that were continually happening to dear Fliss, including medical, which also affected her mentally though she was always loath to ever accept that.

Dear Fliss had Thyroid problems, (thyroiditis) but MUCH worse than that, together with her other physical ailments which I was well aware of and had always been well aware of and which I always helped her through with in life.

Whenever I told Fliss that she was 'acting weird' in some way, Fliss would just brush it off, but later (so MANY times) she would tell me that she had later taken medical tests done (it was a terrible ongoing ordeal), and they found that YES, her 'balances' were out. And I can clearly rememeber many times dear Fliss would say to me, "Yeah, my balances were out, and they needed to be fixed, but they were really small...how could you tell?"

And I answered her truthfully as I always did, "Because I know you Fliss. I am the ONLY one who knows you so closely. Everyone else you lie to. You KNOW that."

And Fliss would hug me, and profess our love, and she would quickly try to make me froget all about it with mundane matters that needed atatending to, which is a tactic she uses so much with others.

Dea Fliss is on a LIFETIME daily ritual of injesting medications without fail. There can NOT be any 'playing around' with it, nor 'forgetting' to do it. To do so not only harms her physically, and mentally, but can lead to her very life at terminal risk. - (these are the facts that she kept hidden from everyone, including her friends, including her parents, everyone me to some extent.)

But dear Fliss would often be crying and I would be trying to console her, and dear Fliss would sob, "I'm going to go mad, then die......nothing anyone can do can fix me. I'm on the inside, nobody else!"

And I always told Fliss I loved her, but Fliss didn't like me saying that and would state, "How can you love ME!?"

And I would always truthfully state, "Because I DO love you Fliss, much more than you ever know or admit to."

And that would elicit more crying and hugs from both of us.

So you can imagine how I felt when after dear Fliss came back to me from being in New South Wales with her parents, then Queensland with her close friend Cath W. -- I tried to make dear Fliss's life more easier than before, but I was always being swept aside by Fliss in her manic attempts to try to forever 'prove' herself that she was just as capable and normal and was even moreso than everyone else.

I didn't know it then, but Fliss was spiralling down, and crashing even WORSE than before. I carried on in life as normal, but Fliss was leading a triple life, secret from me and everyone else.

Dear Fliss was online on the internet and lying to everyone as she always did before, except now she was actually blaming ME for so much that ws going on in her life that was bad, when that was NEVER the case.

Dear Fliss was being pressured GREATLY (NOT by me!) by employment issues and dire financial issues of hers. All of which she not only kept secret from me and all others, but actively was secretly stealing money and medications to throw down herself to try to keep her mind under control.

I since found out that dear Fliss had been lying to everyone that I was a very bad person, (which I am most certainly NOT and have never been), and that Fliss was planning an 'escape'.

There was countless times when bills would be due to be paid, and I would give Fliss the cash money to pay for them (as is my way), I trusted Fliss implicitly and had no reason not to. The bills would appear to be paid and I thought nothing of it all. There WAS some instances of utility companies and so on sending threatening letters because of non-payment and it would anger me. I would confront dear Fliss and she would get very flustered and literally snatch bills from my hands and declare that she would 'fix things'.

Because of my own medical issue giving me great physical pain, Fliss had our car and used it to travel to work. That was as normal. But because Fliss had been forced into taking a job that made her do it, or suffer incredibel financial penalties, she often would take out car and use it for her work. It was an intolerable situation. The car we had was becoming very old and run-down, (it was a struggle to even have THAT), but we owned it completely.

The car was egtting SO bad, that it was becoming impossibel for it to run. More impossible than Fliss or ANYONE ever knew! - It was about to completely fail and NOT even be abel to be started unless a very obscure hidden component in the fuel tank (of all places) was replaced, becaue EVERYTIME the car was operating a device there was wearing out and could NOT be just 'replaced easily or even detected that it was failing. - Because the car had stayed at home whilst I was struggling trying to figure out what teh hell was causing it not to even start, Fliss was taking the public bus to her work place. Against this was leading up to apoint that Fliss had planned long in advance for her to 'escape' as she would put it.

The place that dear Fliss now (then) worked at was something I agred with. It was a low cost food and goods place for underprivileged people and struggling people.

But I don't know wehther the place itself (or dear Fliss herself) was responsible for all the things that was happening to dear Fliss there.

Dear Fliss demanded that she would ONLY work in the stockroom and handle the unloading of trucks and such to their storeroom(s). She did NOT want to work with ANY people. - The charity place was willing to comply and so they let dear Fliss struggle mightily. - And of course all of this was unknown to me. And dear Fliss herself never told me of course.

Fliss would come home from her work, fithy, dirty, and literally covered in bruises from all her very hard physcial labour handling good from trucks and all sorts of transport that continuously brought food and good everyday there. LOTS of material. Pallette-loads of material. That all had to be unloaded then repacked by hand.

Fliss was so bad and in such a state all the time, and continually getting more and MORE bruises upom herself that it made me angry and I demanded that she do something. But dear Fliss just would always laugh and brush away my concerns, and declared I was making something out of nothing, and besides...she would state, if she doesn't do it then nobody else will, so it has to be done.

I want people to register this in their heads and to pass it on to others. Fliss herself was being injured in her work place and sustaining all sorts of accumulating injuries, added onto the medical and mental maladies she was suffering from. And still suffers from. All of which Fliss kept SECRET from everyone! - I HAVE tried to speak of this to others and they REFUSE to believe me!

But dear Fliss was leading a secret life, one was the normal one she lived with me and which I kept things as normal as possible so as not to add any stress to her, and a secret one where she was making me out as some sort of 'monster' despite the fact I was most certainly not, and to her friends in person (vry very few), and her online friends Judith, Cecy, and Cath W., dear Fliss lied to telling them what they wanted to hear. And Fliss would indulge herself in inane trivial things, always exhausted physically and mentally.

Any time I objected, I was told by Fliss that I was just being 'silly', and that she'd sort it out.

Bills I gave her cash to pay, were continually being demanded with threatening letters. I just could NOT understand what the hell was going on! - Fliss blamed any number of things and always asured me that she would take care of it. I would give her more cash money to pay for 'penalty' payments the bill comnpanies smashed against us, which I have NEVER ever let get to that stage ever in my life. - But Fliss kept taking the cash I gave her and suposedly dealing with all the bills.

I staretd to DEAMAND any and ALL receipts of bill paid that Fliss had dealings with, not because I blamed Fliss, but I wanted records of it all. And then dear Fliss became even more surreptitious.

Bills were getting paid, no more DEMAND notices were screaming back at us, and I once more thought things were back to normal. But they were NOT.

Fliss had troubel sleeping. It's a long problem solved long ago herein this hellhole. Fliss always slept soundly (like a brick) but she was always refreshed and normal when she woke up.

But dear Fliss later started to declare to me, "I'm of work for x days this weekend, and I want nothing and nobody to wake me up...understand!?"

I ALWAYS let dear Fliss sleep as much as she wanted and never woke her anyway, I couldn't understand her vehemence and anger. But our two dear dogs Sam & Max who are our guard dogs, they ofte would wake her up by accident and dear Fliss would blame me. It would only be later long after when she had fully woken up that she would be apologetic and contrite about it all.

All of this was rising. All of this were things I tried Fliss to talk about with Fliss's counsellor woman 'Madelaine". Fliss assured me that all was well.

But unbeknownst to myself, 'Madelaine' was ceasing her career as a counselor and would no longer be able to see Fliss. Previulsy over the years I had also tried to get 'Madelaine' to address issues with Fliss but Fliss has been so much involved with counsellors and medicos that Fliss has learnt to lie and conceal any and everything she wants. And dear Fliss has a fear, a literal terror, or medicos, saying that, "They just want to get inside my head. Nobody knows me best than ME!"

And so dear Fliss kept stringing "Madelaine' along as a matter of self-preservation because of Fliss's very terrible past that she endured (and still suffered from), from in her Australian Army days after her terrible physical and mental ordeals she sustained in the train attack upon her by thugs. All of which happened long before I ever met dear Fliss.

And so Fliss was lying to everyone. Bills ere NOT getting paid wit the money I gave her to do exactly that. What instead was happening was that secretly Fliss was using the cash for her own secret means such as purchasing sleeping pills (A LOT OF SLEEPING PILLS), and other things she was squirrelling away the cash money with. And she was using a CREDIT CARD to pay the bills with to keep me from ever knowing.

I want you to read and get that into your heads. She was putting aside the CASH money I had given her to specifically pay bills with, and using her CREDIT CARD to pay the bills instead. - Then she would use the CASH MONEY to buy sleeping bills and other stuff, and kept some aside somewhere secret for a future event of using it for 'escape money' where she would only use cash and nobody would be the wiser. - Least of all me. The person who loved dear Fliss, Thr person who protected dear Fliss. The person who was so depsrately trying to help dear Fliss deal with her problems and ours and for us to have a good and proper life.

I STILL have the bank statemnts of hers to prove what I'm saying. Make no mistake, It is proof of what I'm saying.

One night in late September 2014, I was in severe terrible pain, I went to bed early. I contacted dear Fliss by telephone to let her know. And I asked her to keep quiet so I could sleep (maybe). - Dear Fliss replied by phone message saying she'd be bringing home something to eat as was her normal way (but she did NOT). -- I always feared not being awake when Fliss ws about to go to bed becaue she by biw had assunmed a VERY bad TERRIBLE habit of secretly overdosing on sleeping pills (Stilnox) togethr with other pills in combination. And so I was always making sure that she only took minimum doseages of anything that she neded whilst I was awake.

But Fliss took advantage of me being asleep solid and she dosed-herself up with sleping pills (much more than one) and whatever else she took in addition I do not know.

I awoke sometime early in the morning darkness in great pain. Fliss was in a coma. And snoring a helluva lot. He face was buried in pllows face-first. I got up, pulled teh pillows out from under her, made her stir awake, had a conversation with her but Fliss (was still asleep!) explaining that I knew she'd been overdosing, and I went to the kitchen to get more painikillers for myself since mine had worn off. I watched somthing inane on TV until they begane c=slowly working, and then when I went to go back to bed, dear Sam & Max had nestled all around Fliss on the bed and I couldn't get in.

I roused Fliss awake and groaned I needed to get to bed and sleep because I was in so much pain.

She began rolling around on the bed on her back not konwing what was going on. - Sam & Max thought that dear Flis was playing and that she would soon feed them, so they jumped all over her as she struggled in bed. That was a habit Fliss had taught them and which I never agreed to. They are VERY big heavy dogs. -- Fliss kept struggling, they kept jumping all over, until I sent thm away to another room (they thought they were going to be fed) and I tried to help Fliss to her feet by puling on her arm. But she just wobbled all about and as soon as her feet touched the floor, dear Fliss began urinating heaviy all over the floor. And she let doing so.

I exploded agahst saying, "What the HELL have you swllowed!? You're SO doped up that you're pissing yorself as you're getting out of bed!"

Deasr Fliss staggered out of the bedroom, into the hallway, then into the toilet leaving huge trails of her pee all over the floors. I was in so much agony that I laid down and kept verbally berating her.

Fliss returned into the bedroom and with a toilet roll begane cleaing up her mess muttering with extreme sadness, "I'm Sorry! I'm Sorry!, I'm Sorry!!"

I helped her clean up.

And then as we where standing there together, Fliss suddenly lunged at me with on hand at my throat which she grippd hard, whilst her otherhand was at the back of my neck beind me. And she was now trying to bend me over HARD.

I screamed out to FLISS that she was causing GREAT PAIN.

But Fliss had a very srange scary 'glazed look' uopn her face, showing no emotion. I could see that dear Fliss was having a psychotic episode brought on by all thos damen Stillnox pils and stuff she'd takem.

Shekept hold of me tight and kept bnindg me over. (dear GOD!, writing this now makes me wishe that I could have jut walked away from all this then, then our lives in love wouldn't have been destroyed with me seriously considering completed suicide for myself)

But I warned dear Fliss, "Let go of me or I'll have to hit you to make you let go!". - There was NO ANSWER FROM FLISS, JUST THAT DAZED FAZE OF HERS. - And so I firmly punched her cheek I think. I certainly didn't want to hurt the true one I love, but just shock her into releasing me. I mihght have even punched her shoulder. We ere both struggllingback and forth over a pikle of stuff she's knocked over onto teh floor, two tall elextric floor fans, and a solid box containaing a brand new sewing machine that was a gift from me to Fliss.

Both FLiss and I crashed to the debris and I rolled aside so I wouldn't land on dear Flsis and crush her. I Love Fliss.

I got up, her grips aupon me had stoped, and she sat there stunned and cradling her left arm. She said without lookig at me, "Now YOU"VE done it!"

"DOne what!?", I replied, "It was YOU whomade all this happen. C'mon let me help yu up....."

Dear Fliss slapped my hand sawy, I tried aagain, she slapped my hand away a secondn time.

I reached aroud and took my phone camera and started takeing photos as I decalared, "I'm taking photo because NOBODY will believe all this"

And I did so. - As I was doing that, Dear Fliss began grabbing a bag and shoving things into it. I said, "I dunno what you're doing but youre NOT going anywhere in the state you're in. GO back to bed. I'll sleep soemehere else. We'll talk about everything when we both feel more up to it and your not so xonked out of your mind with pills."

I responsibly grabbed the car kes from her and hid them. She would have killed herself and anyone else too in her currebt state. (as it turned out, the dmned car couldnt start at all anyway. NOT AT ALL)

But unbeknownst to myself, Fliss had gone outside taken lengths of string, and fashioend thenm into ad-hoc dog leads. Fliss ws going to lead Sam & Max outside wit her using string!? - This was crazy, so I grabbed the distressed dogs and pulled them inside.

Next comes the part which goves me TERRIBKLE TERRIBLE NIGHNARES FLISS! - I closed the house basck door and locked it. - I Wanted you Fliss to just go and sit on the cane lounge until we both coold down and could kiss and cuddle and made ammend as we have always done. I went back to be to rest any back in agony.

But I was only there for a short while because I was deetermind to find you and help you. I walke out an search teh stets but could not fin you dear Fliss! - I walked 3 different streets trying to find you in teh darkness and faiked. -- AND thr damend car would NOT START AT ALL. so I couldn't even use that.

Fliss lied to people via the internet. (I cannot to this day contact them, they REFUSE to communicate with me. And that includes Judith, Cecy, Cath W., all of whom are Fliss's dear friends to her. The first two live in the USA and have their own personal problems and medical ones, which was one reason why they were so close.

I have tried contacting Judith, and she NOT only REFUSED contact with me, but cut off communications avenues to even try.

Cath W. (who lives in Queensland), I also tried more than once to contact. Dear Cath had been instrumental in getting dear Fliss and I back together after dear Fliss's first terrible episode. - But THIS time, dear Cath assailed me with accusation after accusation and then refused to communicate with me!

Fliss has sent Cath photos of all her bruises, most of them coming from Fliss's physical manual labouring which I had always been aghasts at her doing!. - And now it was being presented that it was ME who had done it all!?!? - BULLSHIT!!!!

There WAS one mark upon Fliss's face that is of the event when both of us fell down uopn the boxes of stuff in the narrow bedroom you can see it on her chin. It's the corner of the sewing-machine box, or the fan leg itself.

I have been attacked for that mark and when I replied, "How on earth could I possibly make a mark like THAT?", the other person will quickly jumop to another markm then another and anther mark which I have any NO idea of because dear Fliss constatly got them working with boxes and crates in her workplace by herese.

At this poimt I then get branded as being a liar!

WHY doeen EVERYOE wnat to believe BULLSHIT when teh truth is righ here me saying it!?

Whata about the bruising from poor Sam & Maz our big heaxy rotteiler dogs? They are like the dear children of dear Fliss and muself. They greive termendoudsly at not being with Fliss!!!!

AND.......all these photos of injuruies ands such has been before several West Australuan Police Force officers (male and female), and I was asked about all of them. --- The and result was thet they stated thet Fliss and i should see a marraiage counsellor which hearing that made me stnd up saying and cried out, That's the exeact same things I'm been trying to get Fliss and myself do toegether for ages now!

I do NOT now who is it, but sombodies been AT dear Fliss and has made her more hostile to me when dear FLiss would never be normallly like that to me ever, - Is dear Fliss being brainwashed yet aagin?

Dear, sweet Fliss.....Let us GET BACK TOGETHER AGAIN! If I am away from here with you I will no longer suffer the terrible stresses I have to deal as you well know. -- YOU KNOW I CAN BECOME WHAT YOU WANT ME TO BECOME.

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P.@21:37--------P--Fliss Felcity Annne Carthew: contact me on 0406742629

Anyone else reading this and know Fliss Anne Carthew. Tell dear Fliss the number to call. For Flis I will ask her a prviate qustion only he knosw the answr to, that wil confirm it is her for us both, - No time wasters.

OR........CATH W. can also telephne me. (please)

Or Judidh or Cecy can also tekephone me from USA, (PLEASE)

Cath.........I could help you buid and sustain your aquacukture dreams in your porperty.....just as long as Flissy was with us to.....

I am waiting phone calls whilst Im SERIOUSLY contemplating suicode. No phonecalls wil rsult in my suicided comeletions.

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