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#cazzone
popolodipekino · 1 year
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svista
diceva "canone azzerato" ma ho letto "cazzone annerato" (aka minchione abbronzato)
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sonego · 24 days
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in case anyone wanted to know who italian players would invite to dinner
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kiss-this · 11 months
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deeonisia · 1 year
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🧁✨💘🐈‍⬛
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utente-null · 1 year
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crying perché su zalando ho beccato delle nike stra belle iperscontate e ci sta pure il mio numero ma non mi starebbero mai bene vista la mia bassa statura e contemporanea chiattezza quindi se le prenderà qualcun altro
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violeblanche · 1 year
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E PERCHÈ SUCCEDE STA ROBA?
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killiandestroy · 1 year
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in questi giorni ho sviluppato una teoria che stasera ha trovato conferma ovvero che il tizio dei colla zio quelli roscio con capelli un po' più lunghi ecco lui uno per cui io ci cascherei malissimo
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thebearer · 25 days
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willow attempting to scare richie but when tho she poorly hid herself and he could see her he still acts like she’s the scariest
he's so good at it too.
fak actually might be better because he really goes there.
so one time, when teddy was a teeny toddler, she was going through a 'scaring' phase. she wasn't very good at it, thankfully, but she loved to 'scare' people.
she'd run ahead and hide around corners, and pop out at you or carmen or whoever, then die of laughter lol. it was honestly cute, and so you and carmen just let it happen bc it's cute? and she's little? and she's not hurting anyone- everyone knows when she's 'hiding' she's not very good at it lol.
anyways, so one day, at the restaurant she's helping richie and fak 'set up' and decides she's going to 'scare' them. she hides behind a booth, and richie's like grinning, looks at fak, "watch this." he mutters. "aye, neil, you see teddy anywhere?" real loud and dramatic, and they can hear her giggling.
fak blinks like ??? "yeah, richie, she-she's right ther-"
"-hey, don't be a jagoff, alright? what's the matter with you?" richie hisses, rolling his eyes. "neil, do me a favor and, uh, will you check behind that booth? make sure the tables good?" loud and dramatic again.
neil is so confused but walks over, right as he's turning, teddy jumps out with a "boo!" giggling and excited. richie gives a loud "oh! you gto me! you scared me, kid, where were you?" because he's richie. he's silly and a little dramatic.
neil on the other hand... he just blinks at her. "the tables fine, richie."
teddy's little face falls and she's pouty and it's no longer fun in there, so she goes to find carmen or you or tina or someone fun.
"the fucks the matter with you?" richie throws a hand up. "you tryna be a jerkoff? huh? you know that's cousin's kid? what? you got a problem with him? with her? because you know, neil geoff, that's my god daughter right there, and if we've got an issue you-"
"-no, no, no, no. what? richie? no." neil's backed up away from a furious richie.
"then why are you bein' a dickwad right now? why would you do that, huh?"
"i'm not being a dickwad!"
"you're definitely bein' a dickwad. teddy pretends to scare you, and you- you what? you're not gonna pretend to be scared? for a kid? your cousin's kid? c'mon you-"
"-richie, i could see her." fak scoffs. "she didn't scare me. i could see her the whole time."
richie just blinks at him because honestly he is at a loss for words. "you... you're a fucking moron."
"hey! you can't call me that-"
"-no i can and i will. what's the matter with you? of course you can see her. you think i couldn't? you pretend to be scared, you cazzone. play it up." richie huffs.
and neil takes that personally.
the next time teddy does it, neil wants to make up for the fact that he didn't give such a big reaction.
she hides, and when she jumps out, neil screams. like a final girl, horror movie kind of scream.
"teddy! you scared me! oh my god, oh my god! you scared the shi- i mean, you scared me!"
and he really thinks he's done a good job, and in a way he has.
except it scared the shit out of teddy this time.
she freezes, face falls in fear because he screamed really loud and scared her. everyone's there in a matter of seconds, scared by the scream.
"what? what's the matter? what happened?" carmen is panicking, even more so when teddy is sobbing towards him. "what's wrong? you alright? you alright? richie, what the- what happened?"
"you're a fucking moron." richie snarls, walking over to carmen.
"what? what did i do now? you told me to play it up! richie!" fak follows him, feeling guiltier than before.
he has a lot of time to practice. by the time willow comes around, he's perfected the in between of being realistically scared... to a toddler's standards lol. fak's actually pretty good at it by then, can really play it up to get her giggling and happy.
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marqueesaa · 2 months
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L'amore complicato
fandom - Baby (Netflix)
warnings - smut
[ You are the sister of Niccolò & Camilla Rossi Govender. Nobody knows that you have been involved with your brother's best friend, Brando de Santis, for a long time ]
a/n - this is my first scenario and I’m really nervous to post this. I tried my best and I hope you guys will like it. :)
in this scenario, your name is aleeza
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"are you going to chiara today, ale?" Niccolo asked me as he sat down next to me on the couch and put his arm around me.
"I don't know, she's been acting weird lately. I think I'll stay here today, why?"
Niccolo nodded and licked his mouth. "Nothing important. Brando is coming round tonight and staying with us. Mum and Dad aren't here, so we have to make the most of it, don't we?"
He starts to laugh and I laugh with him. If only he knew that I've had feelings for Brando for a long time. Just the thought of him gets me down.
I squeeze my legs together and cross my arms in front of my chest. "So are we going to have a film night?"
I looked at him and he smiled at me. "Of course."
"Film night? I'll be there. What time is he coming?" Cami was leaning against the doorframe and had been listening to us. We looked at her as niccolo sat up straight. "I think around 20:00?"
"Vabbè (okay) "
I got out of the shower and put on my pyjamas. Well, actually it's just a tank top and shorts, it's hot here in Rome and I sweat quickly. I dried my hair and used hair oil. I took my favourite perfume and sprayed it all over me, I want to smell good for me, not for Brando...
*PIEP*
shit, he's already here.
"Aleeza open the door, it's Brando."
Niccolo shouted from his room and I rolled my eyes. I always have to open the door even though his room is right next to the door, plus it's his friend. Niccolo really has problems.
"I'm in the bathroom, come on you open it."
I shouted back and got upset. There's never any peace and quiet here. "Aleeza, open the fucking door, it's Brando, you know him."
I opened the bathroom door aggressively and closed it behind me so that it banged. "cornuto. (asshole)" I muttered to myself and ran to the door.
I opened the door and saw a curly-haired handsome boy, clearly Brando. He looks so cute but still so sexy. I don't know when I started talking about him so sexually, but every day it got worse.
"Ciao, bella."
He said to me and gave me a quick hug. I smiled and looked down, I was definitely blushing. 'Bella' is what he's calling me my whole life. It was just an insider name at first but by now everyone knows it's just a nickname for me.
Niccolo was never really happy with the nickname, it was a no-go. But he totally exaggerates. Even before I started raving about brando, it wasn't a problem for me. I always thought it was special, to be honest.
"How are you, tutto apposto?" He said to me, looking down at me. He's definitely a lot taller than me.
"Sí, Brando. How are you? Everything okay with you and your parents?" I asked him. Whenever he spends the night with us, there's always a problem with his parents. That's why I ask him. "Yeah everything's fine no worries." He smiled and you could see his cute braces.
I stroked his shoulder with my hand and smiled slightly at him.
"oh go away aleeza. Ciao brando, all good man?" Niccolo came up behind me and aggressively pushed me away. I banged on his door and rolled my eyes. Niccolo can be such a fucking arse.
"Come on, don't push your sister around like that." Brando said and smiled at me. He gave my brother a handshake.
"Since when do you pay attention to aleeza Cazzone?" Niccolo said and gave him a light slap.
"Since I will become your new daddy if I keep doing it with your mum." There he is, the old brando. A disgusting arsehole. But there's something about him that drives me crazy.
"Dai stronzo (come on, asshole) , put your things on my bed." Niccolo gave him a slap on the back of his neck as Brando glided towards Niccolo's room.
-
It's been a while since we all sat on the couch and watched Friday the 13th. Me, nic and brando are really into horror films. Cami isn't, so for the first 30 minutes she just looked at her mobile phone and covered her ears when she heard screaming, and then at some point she went to sleep.
You couldn't tell that Niccolo was incredibly tired. He was with Virginia today and did God knows what. As broken as he was lying on that couch, it could only be something brutal.
And I was sitting next to Brando. Well, I had my legs in my hands and Brando was lying quite wide, but he was still next to me.
God, what would he think if he knew how I thought up all the scenarios with him every day. I was always just the innocent child without a boyfriend and without a first kiss.
Yes, I am a virgin. But I don't mind, I always wanted it to be Brando. In my dream he was, but in reality - it's probably not going to happen.
I heard Brando yawning next to me and niccolo snoring on the other side. "God, what has he done today?" Brando whispered to me and had to giggle with me.
"He was with Virginia today. I don't know what she did with him." I told him and he started laughing quietly. "Hang on." He said and sat up straight.
I played with my fingers in nervousness because I didn't know what was coming next. "How do you know they're having sex?" He asked me with a questioning look.
Are you serious? I'm 16 and not 2. I know what that means and I know how it works, who does he think he is?
"Brando, seriously? Every normal relationship has that." Hoping I don't say the wrong thing, Brando licked his lips.
"Yeah just relationships... so you know how it goes ale?" He raised his eyebrows.
I started to stutter. "I said relationships. I've never been in one." Brando noticed me getting shy. He smiled slightly and played with the band of his sweatpants. "And you?" I asked quietly so niccolo wouldn't hear.
He ran his tongue over his teeth and looked at me deeply. "I've done it before." Ouch. So the asshole can do it.
"Cool?" I said somewhat dubiously and had to laugh quietly.
"I can show you." He said quietly and I started to sweat. What? He can show me? In front of niccolo? "What do you mean ?" I said quietly with a stutter
He started to laugh. "Have you ever touched yourself, aleeza?" He looked me straight in the eye. And I thought I was going to die. I've touched myself before, but it wasn't anything serious. I didn't do anything and I didn't feel anything.
"yes." I thought I looked cool when I said that after exposing myself to him. "So?" He said and touched my knee with his big hand. He came closer with his face and whispered in my ear "did you come?"
I gasped and automatically covered my mouth. "Brando not here." I whispered back and pointed at niccolo. He looked at niccolo and then back at me. He looked me up and down.
"Did you wear that especially for me?" He pulled on my shorts a little and looked at my tank top. I sat up straight and looked at him. "No..." I breathed in and out deeply
"Mhm definitely." He moved his lips towards my neck. I turned my head to the side to give him more space. But he didn't kiss. He didn't do anything. He just breathed. I leaned back and realized how impatient I was getting.
I moved my lips to his neck this time and started to give short kisses. He held my head with his hand while he leaned his head back. Niccolo was still fast asleep.
My kisses started to get more impatient and wet and I moved my legs to my rhythm. He held my hips tightly and moved with me. He moaned slightly and from then on it was over. I felt something irresistible inside me that could not be interrupted under any circumstances.
I moved my leg slightly over to his lap and felt something in his pants. I smiled as I continued to suck on his neck. I moved uncontrollably onto his lap and moaned at only light contact with his part. Brando had enough. He took my neck with his hand and looked at me with wide eyes.
"Are you sure, ale?" He said almost out of breath as I continued to move onto his lap slow like it was an addiction. "Please." I whispered as I wrapped my hand around the back of his neck.
He moaned softly and picked me up from the sofa. He took my hand and walked to my room. I looked back but niccolo was still fast asleep. He opened the door and laid me on the bed. He closed the door and walked towards me.
He was on top of me and started kissing along my neck. I rolled my eyes when I felt his tongue. Fuck I can't take any more. He sucked on my neck and moved up to my face. He looked deep into my eyes and leaned forward. He kissed me hard, needy and like he could never stop. He kissed with tongue as I accepted it and the romantic kiss became a dirty kiss.
He kissed me and ran his hand along my breast. He squeezed it lightly as I moaned into his mouth. He pressed his mouth harder against mine and I felt his thick between my legs.
I whimpered as he continued to massage my boobs, pushing his part harder and harder against me. I bit his lips and I could have sworn I bit them bloody. And I could swear my thong became a swimming pool. He stopped kissing me and quickly pulled away from my lips as they stuck together. He moved down a little and slowly removed my tank top.
I watched him as his eyes got even bigger and the bulge in his sweatpants got more impatient. I bit my lips when he noticed that I wasn't wearing a bra. I felt a little uncomfortable but when he immediately sucked on them and massaged them with his other hand, the feeling went away. I moaned and squeezed the pillow next to me so hard.
"Brando, please." I whimpered and looked over at him. "What baby? What do you want I'll do anything." He whispered and wiped his mouth with his Hand.
"Please eat me out" I whispered and took his face in my hands. He made a soft noise and rolled his eyes. "You're incredible." He said as he ran his tongue along my stomach. "bellissima aleeza." I smiled slightly at the compliment and gasped as I felt his mouth and nose on me. He pressed them against it as he slowly removed my pants
When he took them off, he saw a big stain on my underpants. He smiled and laughed slightly. I panicked and looked down. Omg, I was really wet. That's not just a saying, that really happens? Holy fuck. "Brando I'm sorry I-" I stuttered as he put his finger to my mouth and asked me to be quiet. "That's a compliment mamí. You're ready." He said quietly and took off the white thong.
He bit his lips as he held it in front of him. He was so ready to be a part of my life forever. He leaned on the bed and kissed along my thighs. I rolled my eyes and picked up the pillow and pressed it against my face. I don't want to embarrass myself in any way.
But he took the pillow and threw it at the door. "I want to hear you." He said, and I felt his words on the excited part of my body. "But nicc-" I whimpered when I felt his lips and I gasped. I went up with my hips as he pushed them back down. "Fuck brando." I said softly, stuttering as I kept going up because this feeling is so different.
He licked and sucked on my clit as I opened my mouth without anything coming out. I was petrified. I took my hand and held Brando's hair. I squeezed harder to make the feeling less intense but he squeezed harder.
Tears formed on my face as I felt something in my stomach. He used a lot of spit as he returned to my thighs to give me a little break. I breathed heavily and loudly as he pressed in again and sucked the brains out of me.
There's no way I'm going to look at brando normally after the situation here
I had the feeling that I urgently needed to go to the toilet when I tried to push Brando away. "Brando please..." I whispered with tears in my eyes. "Brando stop I have to go to the toilet." I whimpered and he looked at me with a smile. "You don't have to go to the bathroom, you're coming." He pushed his tongue in further as I squeezed my mouth shut with my hand to reduce my cries.
I rode his face like it was my last day. I moved in sync with his tongue as a liberating feeling came and I exhaled loudly. I breathed quickly and looked at brando who was smearing his face away with his finger. Omg, did I piss on him ?
I went through my hair, this can't be happening. "Congratulations, Bella." He came up to me and kissed me.I was out of breath when his finger came towards his mouth. I looked at him with wide eyes as he sucked on his finger. "Brando..." I moaned and lay back down with my head in the bed. I touched my chest, my neck, everything he had touched. He watched me and licked his lips.
"That was -"
"Brando?!"
Oh fuck, niccolo is still here.
"Brando are you in here?" Niccolo knocked hard and fast on my door as I started to panic and howl. Brando bit his lips in exasperation and pressed his hand against my mouth. "shh, be quiet baby." He said quietly, thinking as he looked around.
Niccolo knocked harder and louder. "Aleeza?!" He shouted and continued knocking. I kept crying and breathing very fast, very unhealthy. "I'm scared brando" I whimpered and touched his hair.
"I know ale, you have to be quiet now." He said and I just nodded with teary eyes. "Why are you yelling?" I heard Camilla say to niccolo as I panicked even more. I'm definitely going to keel over.
"Shit." Mumbled brando as we continued to listen. "I'm looking for Brando and Aleeza won't open the door," niccolo said aggressively and continued banging on the door. "Relax nic, Brando's probably already gone. You know this has happened several times. Let Ale sleep."
Camilla said a little anxiously as I continued to squeeze my eyes shut.
"Get dressed." Brando whispered to me as he handed me my underpants and bra. "I'm leaving through the window." He whispered and gave me a kiss on the forehead. "Be strong."
I put on my bra and underpants as I got up from the bed and helped brando open the window quietly.
"Brando are you sure?" I said quietly and howled as it suddenly became quiet outside the door. He nodded and gave me a kiss. "We'll talk tomorrow"
"Brando..." I said and hugged him. "Pretend you were asleep and left before me. I'll find an excuse tomorrow at school. Aleeza please don't say anything or we won't make it." I nodded slightly and swallowed. He climbed through windows and jumped down. I looked down and saw him running away. He looked back and smiled at me. I smiled back and wiped my eyes dry.
"Aleeza I'm coming in now I have your key." Niccolo said as I stood in front of the window in my bra and underpants.
Oh shit.
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psiqotic · 4 months
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su threads sono un cazzone, su tumblr un depressone, su instagram misterioso e su twitter un gamer. split
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kon-igi · 8 months
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DIVIETO DI CERVO
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Attenzione, questo post parlerà di responsabilità genitoriale ma in un modo leggero e, soprattutto, coinvolgente anche chi genitore non è.
Non che ci fosse bisogno di specificarlo ma io sono tendenzialmente una persona scherzosa che trova motivo per sorridere di tutto ciò che ha attorno.
Esiste, però, un vulnus profondo che il genitore non si rende conto di infliggere alla propria prole, la quale si porterà dentro cicatrici profonde per il resto della propria vita... e per vulnus intendo le cazzate raccontate ai propri figli spacciandole per vere.
Il fatto è che il genitore cazzone (me compreso) sottovaluta la capacità di dirimere la veridicità dei propri racconti da parte dei figli, i quali, giocoforza, ripongono un'incrollabile fiducia epistemica nei pilastri che li hanno messi al mondo.
Per esempio, quando da giovane mi allenavo con la katana o a lanciare coltelli e shuriken, alla domanda delle mie figlie sul perché fossi così bravo, io rispondevo sempre - Perché da bambino i nonni mi hanno mandato al Tempio del Dragone Dorato per l'addestramento da monaco Shaolin.
Idem quando insegnavo loro a sbucciare l'arancia con il Qiúrén Jiǔ Rèn (囚人九刃) cioè la Sacra Tecnica delle Nove Lame del Recluso.
Tutto bene, finché alla mensa della materna figlia piccola non ha comiciato a urlare che voleva un coltello per insegnare questa tecnica ai suoi amici e quando le maestre l'hanno sgridata, figlia grande (la mensa era unica per materna ed elementari) si è alzata e ha detto che era una cosa che il loro papà aveva imparato in un monastero di monaci guerrieri shaolin.
Non capisco perché una volta cresciute non siano venute a pugnalarmi nel sonno.
Comunque io sono sicuro che ognun* di voi abbia una balla traumatica conficcata nel proprio cuore da raccontare qua su tumblr e per quanto possa valere, io ho passato i mesi antecedenti all'esame di teoria per la patente a ripetere ogni giorno alle mie figlie -
Vi prego! Quel cartello non vuole dire che è vietato fare il verso del cervo! Dimenticate quello che vi ho detto, VI PREGO!
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popandfilms · 3 months
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Enzo Rimenez & Angel Tyessen in movie "Pizza Cazzone" by Cazzofilms
My IG : https://www.instagram.com/popandfilms/
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gelataisa · 5 days
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Your last reblog about things being wrong in fics because the writers don’t know the language gets me curious. What are some actual Italian swear words? If you’re comfortable sharing some :3
Dude, worry not!!
This will be a short and random compilation. Italian has MANY swear words. Regions have their own swear words.
This post is btw aided by this site i found, which is exactly parolacce.org
Cause: in italian swear words are called parolacce, which is exactly the word parola (= word), but in its dispregiative form (suffix - accia). Another much more formal and refined word is turpiloquio (coming from some latin im not gonna search, but it meand bad word basically)
Now, random list of italian swear words:
Cazzo and minchia. They both mean "dick". Used as an exclamation, like in english you would say fuck. Minchia is slightly more sicilian btw. Told you every region has their own
Cazzata (but also minchiata). Derivative from cazzo. Used to indicate a very stupid thing. "Hai fatto una cazzata!" = "Ah, you fucked up!"
Cazzone. Guess where it comes from. Literally big dick. May indicate a literal big dick, but usually used to refer to a person that is a big idiot.
Cazzaro, dicker (?). Someone that abitually says cazzate.
Testa di cazzo. dickhead. Used to refer to a person that is a big idiot
Scassacazzi, breaker of dicks. Used to indicate a person that sistematically disturbs others, usually by making messes
Cagacazzo, shitter of dicks. Used to indicate a person that sistematically disturbs others, usually by being too precise when it comes to tasks or syindacating in other peoples lives
And i shall end it here for now cause i like this focus on cazzo tbh. Prob gonna make other focuses like this one on other families of swear words
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nicolinocolino · 2 years
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NICCOLÒ FARES in SKAM Italia Season 5 Anch'io sono un cazzone che si è fatto bocciare!
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