Destiel Chronicles
Vol. XCVI
It was a love story from the very beginning.
And You are not here... (Part IV)
(13x05)
Hello my friends! How are you? We arrived to the episode in which Castiel comes back. Yay!
Okay, Dean will be particularly suicidal in this one, and we will have a lot of foreshadows for the incoming possesion.
So, let's talk about this...
Dr. Meadows and The Open Door
The ghost of Dr. Meadows was a blatant foreshadow of AU!Michael. They wore the same apron, experimented with people and monsters and also, the doctor made lobectomies and literally, git inside the patients' heads. Is a symbolism for what Michael will do with Dean.
Look at the doctor...
(gif credit @aborddelimpala)
Yep, the same apron and he burns... Just like Michael will do.
Also this scene...
(gif credit @celestialsonata7 )
The masks, different mask the crazy doc wore, are a symbolism of the different faces Michael will take through season 14.
Another clue of how the season 14 will go, is this tiny dialogue between the two boys at the beginning of the episode, before trying to get inside the Dr. A Meadows Mental Health Center.
Evan: I told you it’d be unlocked.
Shawn: Why would they leave it open?
Leaving the door open, will be seen again in episode 14x02, and it plays a symbolic foreshadow for what will happen with Dean, Michael will leave him but then, he will possesse him again in 14x09. "Leaving the open door for the second possession."
So, if we follow this same statement, we can say Shawn is Dean here. He represents Dean after being possesed, the PTSD.
Penny: Shawn, he….won’t talk. He can’t.
Sam: What do you mean?
Penny: The doctors say…he’s okay physically, that it’s psychological. You know, trauma, like he…he…saw some – saw something so…awful. God I don’t even know what he was doing out that late.
This is a representation of how Dean will be trying to face all the whirlwind of feelings and trauma after Michael leaves him. The kid is muted, just like Dean will avoid talking about the possession. And Shawn draws obssesively, the doc's masks, as Dean will be obssesed in kill Michael after being possesed. (14x03).
Then...
Penny: And, uh, Evan, he’s still missing. Uh… He, Shawn, and their friend Mike Ramos, they’re inseparable.
This is how TFW will be separated because of Michael.
We have another visual narrative clue in Shawn's room, when his mother gets in because he was having a nightmare.
There's a pic on his wall, and is a foreshadow of this scene from 14x04...
The picture shows a red background and a terrifying silhouette of a person. The entire room is Dean's mind. The red color talks about his toxicity. The monster is Michael/John Winchester and his own fears, guilts and toxic behavior, like violence.
The mother is wearing green, as a reminder of Dean Winchester's innocence, usually Scooby Doo represents that too.
The monster doc appears inside of his dreams (head) and also in his own room, as a foreshadow of Michael looking though Dean's eyes, and his possesion.
Dr. Meadows appears in his room, literally possesse the kid, he grabs the mask and put it on his face! Is a blatant symbolism of AUMichael!Dean! and they leave the house. Just like Michael will do with Dean at the end of the season. And also, the meaning of Shawn that escapes the first time but not the second one, is talking about the dynamics of season 14: Michael will leave, Dean will be free just for a few days, before being possesed again, more strongly than before, in season 9.
Suicidal Dean and Sam trying to cheer him up.
If we recall the previous episode, Sam was very shocked because his brother confessed to him he didn't have faith anymore.
At the beginning of the episode we had this dialogue between Sam and Dean...
Sam: Hey
Dean: Hey
Sam: PB&J for breakfast? Strong work.
Dean: Yep.
Well, we all know who was the one telling us that PB&J sandwich was his favorite, right? So... This is not a new observation, but that little clue over there is screaming DEAN MISSES CAS.
So we will have a very cheerful Sammy, giving Dean beer in the morning, pushing him to go to a strip house, and literally, trying to give his brother every usual item he runs into when he is depressed for losing people. He even let Dean being under the number of Agent Page. Their fav.
When Dean sees this, he faves his brother, asking him why he's been so nice to him.
Dean: Okay. Look, I-I’ve been down this road before and I fought my way back. I will fight my way back again.
Sam: How?
Dean: Same way I always do – bullets, bacon, and booze. [Rings front desk bell] A lotta booze.
This is very important, because Billie will refute it in this same episode...
So Dean eats a lot of bacon and stuffs, he drinks a lot, and he even goes to the strip house. But all is fake.
They had their first encout er with Dr. Meadows... And this alarming scene is showed to us...
(Gif credit @smartiespn )
Dean wanted to die here. He wasn't fighting back. He was accepting his death. Why? Is he so affected by Castiel's death and Mary that he wants to die? But why because of Mary, he had lost parents before, John, Bobby, and his convo of bullets, booze and sex worked back then. But why isn't working now? Because the variable her is CASTIEL. He lost the love of his life and nothing will be fine again. SO DEAN WANTS TO DIE BECAUSE CAS DIED. The convo would work with Mary but not with Castiel.
Then, Dean plans a suicidal way out to save the ghosts. He does it so quick, Sam can't react to it. Dean literally kills himself in front of Sam.
The dialogue between Billie and Dean shows again that Dean is in so bad shape, he doesn't want to live, he changed after Castiel's dead. He won't recover of losing the love of his life, his faith. He knows Sam can move on from him. He is able to keep going. But Dean wants to stop. Because Castiel is dead.
Dean: So… am I dead?
Billie: You killed yourself.
Billie is pointing at Dean's suicidal behavior with that plan, because this time is different.
Dean: No. Are you keeping me dead?
Billie: Now that depends on you.
Billie is saying this because she is supecting Dean is different. Dean wanted this. So she tastes waters.
After this there's a negotiation, because Billie wants to know about the AU, because is very important to balance. And the Winchesters just keep bringing chaos.
But Dean exchanges the freedom of the ghosts from the Meadows House for information, the ghosts are released but the deal caught Billie's attention that when she asked for WHAT DEAN REALLY WANTED, Dean choose the ghost and not come back to life.
Billie: Because I do. Because…this whole multi-versal quantum construct we live in, it’s like a house of cards. And the last thing I need is some big, dumb Winchester knocking it all down.
This is important because we do know now Billie hated Dean for this.
Then, the truth is revealed...
Billie: You’ve changed. When you bargained with me just now, you could’ve asked to go back, to live.
Dean: Well, I figured with you in charge, there’s no getting back for me.
Billies faces him with her suspicions, but Dean lies.
Billie: That doesn’t sound like the Dean Winchester I know and love. The man who has been dead so many times but it never seems to stick. Maybe you’re not that guy anymore, they guy who saves the world, the guy who always thinks he’ll win no matter what. You have changed. And you tell people it’s not a big deal. You tell people you’ll work through it but you know you won’t, you can’t and that scares the hell out of you. Or… am I wrong?
(Gif set credit @justjensenanddean )
Dean's silence confirms Billies suspicions. Dean's silence is affirming she just read his mind. He won't be okay, never again. Because this time is different, this time Castiel is dead, forever dead, and he really believe Cas won't come back. Life lost its meaning to him.
Dean: What do you want me to say? Doesn’t matter. I don’t matter.
Billie: Don’t you?
Dean really want to stay dead. He is so sad and lost, he doesn't want to live anymore. Nothing matters if Castiel is gone.
Dean: I couldn’t save Mom. I couldn’t save Cas. I can’t even save a scared little kid. Sam keeps trying to fix it, but I just keep dragging him down. So I’m not going to beg. Okay, if it’s my time, it’s my time.
Dean even is feeling guilty because Sam had lost his faith in the previous episode, and because now he is very worried about him.
Billie: You really believe that. [Dean shakes his head yes] You wanna die. Dean…every notebook on this particular shelf tells a version of how you die. You specifically, heart attack, burned by a red-haired witch, stabbed by a ghoul in a graveyard, and on and on. But which one’s right? That depends on you, on the choices you make.
Dean: Well, I guess I made my choice.
Here people, here! Billie makes the diagnosis and confirms his suspicious. Dean wants to be dead. And then she gave a him again the opportunity of come back to life, but Dean doesn't want to come back. He wants to remain dead! He's sure about it! He confirms it again when he says I GUESS I MADE MY CHOICE.
Billie: But…unfortunately none of these books say you die today.
The word unfortunately is not just for her but for him too. Because Dean really wants to be dead.
After this revealing and scaring dialogue, we were shown how deep Dean was into his depression for losing Castiel.
Then, another sad dialogue with his brother...
Sam: You okay?
Dean: No. Sam, I’m not okay. I’m pretty far from okay. You know, my whole life, I always believed that what we do was important. No matter what the cost, no matter who we lost, whether it was Dad or – or Bobby or –. And I would take the hit. But I kept on fighting because I believed that we were making the world a better place. And now Mom and Cas… And I – I don’t know. I don’t know.
Sam: So now you don’t believe anymore.
Dean: I just need a win. I just need a damn win.
Dean is tired, and now he has to live, without Cas, in the real world, and he's tired.
But then... And because "Cas wanted to come back to him with a win" and Dean had just asked for win, Castiel comes back to him. Castiel is his win.
The face Dean puts when he receives Castiel's call is priceless. He is in shock, he can't reply, he can't talk. Is a mix of feelings. He can't believe Cas is alive.
Then the encounter, adorned as if it was a wedding, or how some people described, a parallel to Romeo and Juliet encounter, with the Sam cross as the witness, and the song playing in the background, exhaustively analyzed, "It's not too late to start all over again."
(Gif set credit @codestielckles )
To Conclude:
This episode was magnificently written by Yockey, it was full of symbolism that pointed out to foreshadows to season 14, Michael and Dean's possesion.
But it also showed us how deep was Dean's depression, and which was the real cause of it: CASTIEL PERMANENT DEAD, the idea of not getting him back made Dean's life to lose its meaning. He didn't want to be alive in a world where Cas wasn't there.
Hope you like this meta. See you in the next one!
Tagging @magnificent-winged-beast @emblue-sparks @weird-dorky-little-d @michyribeiro @whyjm @legendary-destiel @a-bit-of-influence @thatwitchydestielfan @misha-moose-dean-burger-lover @lykanyouko @evvvissticante @savannadarkbaby @dea-stiel @poorreputation @bre95611 @thewolfathedoor @charlottemanchmal @neii3n @deathswaywardson @followyourenergy @dean-is-bi-till-i-die @hekatelilith-blog @avidbkwrm @anarchiana @dickpuncher365 @vampyrosa @authorsararayne @mybonsai1976 @love-neve-dies @dustythewind @wayward-winchester67 @angelwithashotgunandtrenchcoat @trashblackrainbow @deeutdutdutdoh @destiel-shipper-11 @larrem88 @charmedbycastiel @ran-savant @little-crazy-misha-minion @samoosetheshipper
@shadows-and-padlocked-hearts @mishtho @dancingtuesdaymorning @nerditoutwithbooks @mikennacac73 @justmeand-myinsight @idontwantpeopletoknowmyname @teddybeardoctor @pepevons @helevetica @isthisdestiel @dizzypinwheel @jawnlockwinchester @horsez2 @qanelyytha
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If you want to be added or removed from this list just let me know.
If you wanna read my previous metas from season 13 here you have the links:
Vol. XCIII, XCIV, XCV
Buenos Aires, January 10th 2021 1:03 PM
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If I may send in some for the Ask meme: 001 + Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D., and 003 + Leo Fitz.
ogents of shield
favourite character: leo fitz
least favourite character: aida
five favourite ships (canon or non-canon): fitz x jemma, daisy x deke, coulson x may, daisy x ward, daisy x jemma
character i find most attractive: probably fitz
character i would marry: honestly none of them
character i would be best friends with: fitz & jemma, pre-season 5 daisy
a random thought: i’m hoping daisy gets back to how she was before in season 6, don’t get me wrong i love her no matter what, but i just feel like she’s lost her fun side and it’s sad to see. hopefully deke can help bring that out of her again!
an unpopular opinion: i don’t really see much of the fandom so idk what’s unpopular or not, but i didn’t really like lincoln and his relationship with daisy much
my canon otp: fitz x jemma of course!
my non-canon otp: daisy x deke
most badass character: daisy
most epic villain: hive
pairing i am not a fan of: daisy x lincoln
character i feel the writers screwed up (in one way or another): none of them, they’ve all progressed naturally and stayed true to who they are
favourite friendship: daisy x coulson
character i most identify with: fitz
character i wish i could be: daisy
leo fitz
how i feel about this character: i love him so much!! he’s my favourite character from the show and i just love him as a person and how much he’s grown
any/all the people i ship romantically with this character: jemma simmons
my favourite non-romantic relationship for this character: i love his friendships with daisy and mack, i miss seeing him with them more
my unpopular opinion about this character: idk if this is necessarily unpopular but i haven’t seen anything about it so, he’s 100% autistic, no question about it
one thing i wish would happen/had happened with this character in canon: i really want him to be super apologetic to daisy when he finds out what fitz 2.0 did to her and also i’d like for him to propose to jemma before/without being told that they got married before
favourite friendship for this character: i mean his friendship with jemma is the best of all, but apart from her i’ll say daisy
my crossover ship: fitz as the doctor’s companion though.... i seriously want that show, it would be absolutely incredible
send me a fandom, ship, or character!
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