The Oath | Ch. 13 “Breaking Point”
a/n: wow! the last chapter got A LOT of response, it was very interesting to read everyone’s take on the “spanking vs. non-spanking” debacle. sorry it was a rough one, the next three chapters will make up for it (i hope)
Ch. 1 | Ch. 2 | Ch. 3 | Ch. 4 | Ch. 5 | Ch. 6 | Ch. 7 | Ch. 8 | Ch. 9 | Ch. 10 | Ch. 11 | Ch. 12
September 22nd, 2019
It had been nearly a month and a half since Jamie had dropped off Claire after their fateful weekend at Lallybroch. They had exchanged a few brief messages and had met once for dinner nearly a week later, but things were on thin ice.
Claire didn’t want to fight — she didn’t want to feel this way about Jamie. She had just been allowing herself to feel something for him and then their conversation about how to raise their daughter wrecked it all.
It didn’t matter to her that Jamie had been beaten as a child by his own father — that was not going to happen to her daughter. The thought of anyone laying a hand on her child made her furious and it only hurt her thinking that Jamie was perfectly fine with it.
She knew it was ridiculous to keep fighting about this for so long, especially since Jamie had already missed out on the first five months of the pregnancy. Also, Claire missed Jamie dearly. She missed texting him when she felt the baby kick, or calling him after work to hear about his day. It was during this time of separation, that Claire realized how much she needed him after all.
After she had come back from Lallybroch, Geillis had asked her all about her weekend getaway.
“How did it go with his family? Were they nice?”
“They were lovely,” Claire smiled. “I met his sister and brother-in-law, their kids and then Murtagh, Jamie’s godfather.”
“Aye, what else?” Geillis leaned forward on the couch, sipping her cup of chamomile tea.
“It started out well…” Claire looked down, her fingers worrying a stain on her jeans.
“Did it no end well then?”
“No,” Claire sniffed. “We had a fight. Jamie and I.”
“Oh, Claire,” Geillis reached out her hand, laying it over Claire’s. “I’m sure ye’ll be just fine. Ye two havena fought yet, it was bound to happen.”
“Yes, but this isn’t something either of us is likely to get over.”
“Och, ye canna just leave it there, spill it lass!”
Claire ran her hand over her forehead, pushing her curls back from her face. Perhaps if she just said it all out loud, it would sound ridiculous and then Claire could move on and call Jamie.
“I had a really lovely conversation with his sister, Jenny about Jamie’s feelings toward me and mine towards him. That was fine — gave me plenty to think about. But then later that evening, Jamie and I got to talking about our daughter and how we would raise her.” Geillis nodded, a sign for her to continue. “He said that she would be the prettiest girl and that she would be a great nurse or teacher — all jobs that women normally do.”
“Aye, and men.”
“Yes and men!” Claire laughed. “Well, I told him how men do those jobs as well and if he would let our daughter do a job a man normally does. He said he would, but he wouldn’t prefer it. That wasn’t the issue… the issue,” Claire took a breath, “Is that he sees no problem with spanking our child if she misbehaves. I’ll have no part in that!”
“Jamie would hit the lass?”
“If she was acting up or crying, he said he would give her a tap on the bum,” Claire rolled her eyes. “He went on and on about how as a lad he was hit by his own father. And I know he wasn’t saying he would beat our child black and blue, but it’s just the thought…”
“Well, tis a bit different wi’ the lassies. I’m sure his father didna spank his sister as hard as he spanked Jamie.”
“You think Jamie’s father would have hit Jenny as well?” Claire gasped a bit at that.
“Aye, I do. I wasna hit by my own parents, they were too much of hippies to be doin’ that,” Geillis smiled. “But I wouldna doubt it.”
“Hmmm,” Claire sighed. “I’m sure I’m blowing this way out of proportion…”
“Maybe ye should call Jamie’s sister and find out what she thinks. Maybe tis just Jamie’s way of thinkin’, but maybe tis a Fraser was of thinkin’…”
“Perhaps,” Claire said and took a long sip of her tea, mulling over the weekends conversations yet again.
It was Jenny’s number that Claire was dialing now. She should have called earlier, but as usual, life got in the way and Claire seemed to be a professional procrastinator. Jenny answered after the third ring.
“Hello?” Came the soft Scottish lilt.
“Hi, Jenny. This is Claire… Beauchamp.”
“Claire! ’Tis good to hear from ye, I was just thinkin’ of ye the other day in fact.”
“I’m sorry I didn’t call sooner or that I haven’t been back to see you and the children,” Claire said sadly.
“Aye, tis alright lass,” Jenny said. “Jamie told me that ye two got into a fight, but he didna say what about. I take it that is what yer calling about now?”
“Yes it is. It’s a bit of an awkward subject though.”
“Shoot. I’m an open book,” Jenny said.
Claire checked her watch, she still had an hour before she needed to be at work, one of her last shifts before she went on maternity leave. She wasn’t really doing a lot of work these days, mostly just checking patients files and doing busy work — anything to keep her mind occupied.
“Jamie and I got into a disagreement about how to raise our daughter. About… whether or not we should punish our child physically.”
“Ah, so he told ye how Da used to spank him?”
“Yes, and I can’t agree with it at all. I was hoping for your insight on the matter.”
“Jamie was a troublesome lad, him and Ian both got into fights with the neighbor lads. Those two were thick as thieves, still are,” Jenny chuckled on the other end. “When they got into too much trouble, then my Da would take the strap to both of them, ten whacks each on the bum.”
“Did he ever hit you?”
“Only when I was verra young, Claire. And never like he did wi’ Jamie — my Da was a sensitive man and I kent it pained him to have to even hit Jamie.”
“But then why did he do it?” Claire asked, trying to understand.
Jenny was silent a moment on the other end and then spoke, “I think he felt it was the only way Jamie would learn. I also ken that my Da said that it should hurt him too, to have to punish Jamie in such a way. Our Da didna beat us black and blue if that’s what yer askin’, Claire. He was a just man, but a kind one too.”
Claire sighed, knowing that Jamie had never said he would beat their daughter, but only a smack on the bum every now and then. It still didn’t sit well with her, however.
“May I ask what all Jamie said to ye exactly?”
“He said that if she was misbehaving or crying, then he wouldn’t hesitate to give her a wee pat on the bum,” Claire smiled, recalling the sound of his voice — she missed him, even if he had been a bit of a dick to her.
“It sounds to me that Jamie willna take a strap to the lass, only use his hand when he sees fit. No one uses a strap anymore anyways and Claire…” Jenny said. “Sometimes tis all ye want to do when they’re screamin’ at the top o’ their lungs. When tis just ye and them, a face off and ye want so badly to just smack ‘em. Ye love them of course, no doubt. But can ye maybe see where Jamie is coming from? Tis just how he was raised.”
Claire nodded and then remembered that Jenny couldn’t see her, “Yes. I think I do. At least I’m beginning to.” She hadn’t changed her mind, she didn’t want her daughter to be hit — ever, but perhaps her and Jamie could now have a more civilized conversation about this. Too much time had passed and she didn’t want to waste another moment. “Thank you, Jenny. There was, however one other thing Jamie said…”
“Aye, what now?” Claire could hear the smirk in her voice.
“Well I think he’s upset that — that I slept with someone else, he called me a loose woman and said how I shouldn’t be making decisions since I wasn’t wise about that,” Claire rushed out. “I mean, I did also say the baby was mine, Christ, Jenny…”
“Sounds like two stubborn people that said a bunch of things that they didna mean,” Jenny sighed. “Ian and I have said a fair share of things in the heat of the moment that were none so kind, even if we did maybe feel they were true.”
“Right!” Claire ran her hand back through her curls, starting to feel a bit better about things. “I know Jamie didn’t mean it, at least I hope he didn’t, because I didn’t mean what I said… we’re still just getting to know each other and I wish more than anything I could just be open, as open as he’s been with me.”
“Claire, ye two are in a tricky situation. I ken my brother and I ken that he’s as stubborn as a bull and we get into fights of our own from time to time. And I also know that he’s probably beating himself up about what he said to ye,” Jenny said.
“I know I am,” Claire took a deep breath. “Well, thank you, Jenny. You’ve given me a lot to think about, I appreciate you taking the time to talk with me about this.”
“Anytime, Claire. I mean it, yer part of the family now whether ye like it or not.”
“I’ll let you go then,” Claire smiled. “I think I need to call Jamie and sort some things out.”
“Aye, sounds like ye do. Goodbye, Claire. Hopefully we’ll see ye and the wee bairn soon!”
Claire hung up the phone and let out a deep sigh. Just past the eight month mark, Claire was growing tired of being pregnant. She was impatient to meet her daughter and also so physically uncomfortable — it was nearly impossible to find any position that didn’t hurt her back.
Too tired to move, and with too many thoughts racing in her head, Claire shut her eyes and dozed off, only waking hours later to the sound of Geillis coming home.
“I see yer playin’ hooky now,” Geillis said softly as she stood over Claire whose eyes were opening slowly.
“Oh Christ!” Claire tried to sit up, but her belly was making that rather hard to do. “I overslept! What time is it?”
“It’s just past five pm, lass. When ye didna show up after twenty minutes, we all assumed ye’d fallen asleep,” Geillis laughed. “No one’s mad at ye, dinna fast about it.”
“Thank God,” Claire relaxed once again back into the chair, then the baby started pushing on her bladder. “Can you help me up, Geillis? I need a wee.”
“Aye,” Geillis came over to her, holding out both hands.
As Claire stood up from the couch, a wetness came from between her legs. “What the bloody hell? Have I wet myself or…”
“Did yer water just break?!” Geillis looked down between them at the puddle on the floor.
“Jesus H. Roosevelt Christ! It did!”
++++++
Jamie had been going mad thinking about Claire and his daughter. Were they alright? Did they need anything? He had been keeping in touch with Geillis for updates over the past month or so since he knew Claire wouldn’t want to speak with him.
He knew what he had said to Claire in the car was wrong, he’d just been so angry and had held in so many feelings about the pregnancy. Before he even knew what he was saying, the words just came flying out and he regretted them immediately.
Work had been slow and he had managed to accomplish next to nothing with worry over Claire and the baby. It was nearly 5pm, time to head home for the day.
His phone started buzzing in his pocket and he hoped it was Claire, he desperately wanted to see her. When he saw the caller I.D. his heart panicked a little — Geillis.
“Hello?”
“Jamie? It’s me Geillis.”
“I ken tis ye, Geillis,” Jamie chuckled. “Why are ye callin’? Is everything alright?”
“It’s Claire,” the woman said and Jamie nearly dropped the phone. “She’s gone into labor and well, ye ken the babe wasna due for another few weeks. I’ve just driven her to the hospital, this is the first chance I’ve found to call ye.”
“She’s already at the hospital?” Jamie said and rose from his chair, looking around for his keys.
“Aye, the same we work at, ye’ll ken where it is then?”
“Yes, I do. Geillis, tell Claire I’m on my way! I’ll be there as soon as I can,” Jamie said quickly into the phone and then flew out the door, shouting about Claire having the baby as he passed an odd faced Murtagh.
It was too early. Several weeks early.
Just wait, Sassenach. I’m coming.
Chapter 14: Together
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The Winner
Chapter 4.
Special thanks to my beta @sassenachbydesign for all she does.
"Where are you taking me?” Brianna laughed, tugging at Roger's hands that covered her eyes. She twisted, hoping to dislodge him and jumped when she felt his teeth nip at her ear.
“Shhh. I don't want ye to spoil the surprise early.” She shivered at the feel of his breath, warm against her neck, and the solid heat of him as he pressed her back against his chest.
“Besides, I haven't been able to see ye all day.” He said, placing a kiss under her ear. “we've both been so busy, planning this wedding, I thought it would be nice for just to just have a moment to ourselves. I feel like I've hardly seen you since we made it here.”
“I know. Between the guests and helping Mama, I feel like I haven't sat down all day except..”
“Except what?” Roger said softly, as he dropped his chin to rest on her shoulder.
“It's nothing. Honestly.” Brianna replied as her features smoothed back into the mask she wore when she wanted to hide. Roger had seen the shift in her expression countless times already, and he knew that whatever it was would have to wait. She wouldn't speak of it just yet.
“Bree. I know this wedding thing has been crazy, and that neither of us much cared how large the event was going to be..”
“Roger, it's okay.” She turned suddenly in his arms, her hands rising to cup his jaw between them. The bright, gem-like shade of his eyes met her own vivid blue, and she felt herself relax, just slightly.
“I'm just exhausted. It has been a long few weeks. But we're finally here. We are getting married in two days, and I can't wait to call you my husband.” Brianna smiled, leaning in to brush her lips against his. She felt his arms wrap snugly around her, pulling her closer as the heat of his breath met hers.
They held each other that way for what felt like hours, sharing in each other. Gentle kisses, seeking warmth in each other from the cool air. There was no music. They moved together, swaying with the breeze that rolled in from the waves below. Moving in time to a song only they could hear, the steady thrum of his heartbeat did wonders to soothe her nervous energy. Burrowing her face deeper into the warmth of his chest, she felt herself relax.
Strong arms pulled her tighter, one large hand running down the center of her back as a peace settled over them while their heartbeats found their rhythm.
“Hush now. I'm here.”
“You know I love you, don't you?” She laughed, her voice slightly muffled.
His lips lifted into a grin. “You better.”
* * * * * * * * *
“...JAMIE??”
Claire stood there, dumbstruck, her eyes wide, “What the BLOODY HELL are you doing here?”
The sharpness of her tone sliced through him. He felt so exposed, standing bare under her gaze as though she could see all his secrets.
“I dinna mean to startle ye, Claire. He spoke softly, though his words came quick. “ I was just taking a walk around, ye ken? I only happened to see ye as I was on my way back to where I'm staying is all.”
He spoke to her as if she was one of his prized mares. Wild and fierce her eyes blazed as she stared him down, the ocean breeze catching in the dark drown tangles of her hair. Her cheeks were red, the flush rising along her neck. She was still the most beautiful creature he had ever seen.
Claire, snorted, tipping her chin high to meet his gaze. Her shoulders were tense, preparing herself for battle.
“Yes.” She hissed. “But you didn't answer my question...WHY are you here.”
“For the wedding..” He said immediately, watching in mild amusement as her entire demeanor changed. Clearly Brianna had not spoken to her yet. He frowned, taking a small step towards her. “I thought the lass would have..”
“The lass..? You mean Bree? How do you...! I never told you about Bree.”
“There's a lot of things not said between us, Sassenach. It's been 20 years since we last met.”
“I know how long it's been, you..you Bloody Scot!” Claire huffed, skirting around him. “I just didn't think.. .” she took a deep breath, trying to steady her racing heart. “I just never thought I'd see you again.”
The pain reflected in her eyes felt like a bolt to his heart. He reached out towards her, one large hand hovering over her shoulder.
“Claire, I..”
Before he could finish, a bell rang out through the air with a sharp note, interrupting him.
“Not right now.” Claire whispered, blinking fiercely. “I… I have to go.”
Then, she fled, trying desperately to keep the sudden rush of feelings and tears at bay.
* * * * * * * * * *
“Supper will be at 7:30. I'll leave to you freshen up.”
“Thank you.”
The maid smiled, giving him a quick bob of her head. “No trouble at all sir. “Ms. Claire said I was to make sure all your needs were seen to.”
“Again, I thank you. “
With one last nod, the maid disappeared, leaving him alone. Turning, he surveyed the room, noting the open french doors, leading to a private terrace. Stepping further inside, he dropped his suitcase at the foot of the large bed, removing his shoes near the door of the room. Dinner, was at least an hour off still, plenty of time for him to change, and maybe find his host before hand.
He wondered how Claire had been since he last saw her. It had been several years, though they had kept in touch. They had a lot of catching up to do, and he couldn't wait to tell he about the new project he had been overseeing. With luck, he might could convince her to return to London, but only time would tell.
But first, he needed to shower, and have a shave.
A.N. // Again I apologize for the wait, and the long post. I'm primarily mobile so I can't do read mores properly. Feel free to let me know what you think! Enjoy!
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