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#ch: caleb widogast
s0ftpining · 10 months
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memorializing this
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mouseinthecastle · 1 year
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@ivelostmyspectacles writes the best cuddles and I must draw them over and over
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spottedenchants · 2 years
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WIP Wednesday! What have we here? 👀
(cw blood)
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A jostle, rasps sting. Ears ring, eyes blind, and Essek can once again see.
Gravity bends itself backwards, is upside down, tugging at his back as he floats, looks down upon Caleb’s bloodied form clutching him just as close. Red hair swaying with unintelligible gasps, a ragged curtain around Essek’s face.
Unsure, afraid, a knife through his heart, Essek flutters his hands from his own clumped furs, ghosts them, grasps air.
What- what can he do-? How can he help- what can he possibly-?
Fingers disobeying, brushing, feeble, he smears crimson over a pale cheek.
Tears drip quick silverpearl runnels through red, fall up, plip plip, plip- no, down. Onto his very own face.
Ah, the blood isn’t-. It’s not-.
The world rights from its tizzy.
Caleb is safe, is here, is alright.
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critterfloozy · 9 months
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Random Critical Role Reclist, part 1
I had the idea that I would use a version of the reclist tool for a personal reclist, posting everything I liked once a month. Only I'm also contributing to two other weekly reclists, and most of my fic reading has been related to those two. So it's taken me two months to get my first reclist out.
I still think it's a good idea, though! The general idea is that you write the rec right after reading (and presumably commenting), while it's still fresh in your mind. Then, at some point, you run the script and it spits out a formatted reclist for you. (there's more of an explanation here)
So here's the first part - Critical Role fics I've liked - some Shadowgast, some Laudna, a meeting with Aldreda and Kingsley, and more.
the same twist in your heart as mine by Hanap (6000,Teen) Pairing/Characters: Kingley Tealeaf & Aldreda Tavelle Seriblo Warnings: None
In which Kingsley discovers that the last occupant of his body had a younger sister. Recced because: I love complicated family dynamics and questions about identity, so this is a pairing I love. Hanap's prose is so evocative on top of this.
both my broken hands are true by quothhh (1805,Teen) Pairing/Characters: Nott the Brave & Caleb Widogast Warnings: None
The woman who runs the apothecary seems nice. It’s a shame Bren has to rob her. Recced because: It's a fun AU that's well characterized and has some killer lines in it
patterns in our skies by 2manyboys (4752,General) Pairing/Characters: Shadowgast Warnings: none
Ch 1 It's a beautiful day in Nicodranas and Luc Brenatto is going to win at hide-and-seek. Ch 2 Essek wonders if the death of his pride is worth a bowl of soup. Recced because: It's a very soft shadowgast AU, and it just feels incredibly comforting.
What To Make Of Me When I'm Gone by Angel Ascending (angel_in_ink) (1959,Teen) Pairing/Characters: Bells Hells Warnings: None
A Bells Hells Conversation around the campfire, mostly dealing with bones and after-death plans. Recced because: It feels like something that could have happened in an episode, with pitch-perfect dialogue. Sweet and a little morbid.
when i saw your teeth i got scared (well, excited and scared) by pigflight (2131,Teen) Pairing/Characters: Laudna & Imogen Warnings: canon-typical body horror
The first time Imogen sees Laudna's Form of Dread. Recced because: It's sweet, creepy, and both body horror and a little monster-fuckery, so it's perfect for Imogen and Laudna
a body in absentia by nonwal (34849,Explicit) Pairing/Characters: Essek Thelyss/Caleb Widogast Warnings: atypical modes of consent, boundary negotiations that are sometimes preceded by unintended boundary crossing
A scourger AU where Bren sets out to seduce Essek but only succeeds through all the ways he's not trying. Recced because: It's a great exploration of different types of intimacy, and allows Bren and Essek to have very complicated relationships to morality, sexuality, and their own bodies. Bren especially is capable of doing horrible things within this AU, but is still a likable and deep character.
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atlasarcana · 1 year
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partitions - echo bren fic 4 ch 3
Two years ago, Caleb promised himself. Essek, as of today, has yet to propose. That is fine. They have hardly broached the question, even if Essek never takes the promise earring off.
He certainly hasn’t taken it off now, reclined nude and obscured by soap suds in the bath. Caleb knows because he has not stopped staring at it.
— Essek and Caleb go to Nicodranas and have the vacation of a lifetime. (And Bren is also there, and problems are had and resolved.)
Rating: E Fandom: Critical Role Ship: Essek Thelyss/Caleb Widogast Word Count: 32,951 Tags: Post-Canon, Relationship Study, Resonant Echo, Slice of Life, Summer Vacation, Syrupy and Sweet, Courting Rituals, Carriage Sex, (...) Chapter: 3/3 Fic: 4 out of 5+ fics.
Content warnings for the fic are described in the tags and elaborated in the Ending Author’s Note.
⋆ read on ao3 ⋆
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malaismere · 1 year
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I am the wildemount job's biggest stan but I think I'll ask for director's commentary on the wedding ceremony in ch 6 of Tower of Shattered Glass, either from "Lord Caleb Widogast, archmage of antiquity" to "Essek wishes that could give him comfort." or the passage right after that until "Best not to dwell on it. In unison, they both step forward, down the center aisle, the line of people trailing after them." Whatever you think is interesting!
honestly, probably for the best, im not sure how much commentary for the wildemount job I’d have beyond “i thought it was funny” (that’s only half a joke, I did put thought into that fic)
I’m doing both because I like rambling, and may as well cover the full wedding. Below the cut!
Lord Caleb Widogast, archmage of antiquity. He’s dressed in crimson red, the trademark of the Assembly, and his bright blue eyes stare back at Essek with a gaze that feels like it could set something on fire, make a lesser man crumble beneath it.
So, the biggest inspiration for this fic is Reputations (as is only fitting for an arranged marriage, volstrucker!caleb fic). In it, Caleb sets his hair on fire as a nervous tic, which everyone (especially husband to be Molly) thinks is intimidating/a sign of anger. Didn’t steal it exactly, but I think volstrucker!Caleb has real rating murder face.
And every time I describe him in the early chapters, I think it’s very important that he looks clean cut, imposing. This isn’t truly Caleb, after all - it’s closer to Bren. Although, he’s not usually in Assembly/blood red, it’s more a public appearance/formal thing. Read into that how much metaphor you want.
Essek matches it, unflinching, keeping the blank, congenial smile on his face.
Of course, resting murder face or not, Essek was raised in courts. I like to imagine that the dens are very much the great houses with all the ruthlessness and only somewhat less murder; you won’t last long in high echelon politics if you can’t handle yourself and your emotions, much less Shadowhand. Essek is very good at not letting anyone know what he’s feeling, especially to not seem intimidated.
The priest begins to read out the sermon - a generic, inoffensive thing, the wording of which had been argued over for hours. It speaks of the strength of unity, the power of alliances, alluding to both the marriage and the peace.
I did not want to write wedding vows.
Although I think it’s important that this isn’t actually vows; neither speak here, it isn’t really about them. This also emphasizes how political - and therefore - how dull - most of the planning was.
“Let Erathis bless this union, and all those that follow,” the priest finishes, and steps back, as the Dusk Captain moves forward to take the place, and, behind Widogast, the third archmage, Wulfric Kirchoff, pulls out the beacon from the case it had been held in.
Erathis chosen as the least offensive deity to the Dynasty and also patron of political marriages and treaties.
Eodwulf is holding the beacon. Our trio of archmages won’t let anyone else even see it without one of them present. Paranoid motherfuckers, aren’t they? Rightfully so, of course.
Wulfric Kirchoff is my excuse to have Caleb Widogast - Wulfric to keep Wulf, Kirchoff comes from Church for his worship of the Raven Queen. Astrid is Isolde Siegrun, for ‘Isa’/‘Asa’ and Siegrun meaning Rune of Victory. Caleb only refers to them by the nicknames when alone, so going forward I want to shift towards that to make it less confusing, but Essek/M9 only know the aliases....yeah this was maybe too much thought. What can I say. I like my canon compliance.
Kirchoff hands it over to Widogast, who holds it aloft, and Essek reaches up to grab the handles, grasping it between them.
This is the core ritual of the wedding and the peace. I wanted to parallel the iconic Caleb throne room scene. But he’s got more power, here, they’re equals - if anything, Essek’s got the lower status, because he’s being shoved into the game.
The last time he held this beacon, he had stolen it, whisked it away to enemy lands to experiment on it, sparked a bloody war, cost the lives of agents and soldiers and civilians on both sides.
Emphasizing that, even without Caleb, this is an Essek who made his heel-face turn.
“The Light shines upon you,” the Dusk Captain says, “as on us all - may it guide us from the dark, unto the truth.”
Counterpoint to the Erathis bit; one to the Empire, one to the Dynasty. They don’t need a king speech about peace and marriage - they don’t really do weddings, after all - they just need the beacon.
Also, to highlight that Quana - and everyone in the Dynasty - is completely unaware of Essek’s treason. It isn’t a jab at his lies. It feels like one anyways.
It would be the easiest thing in the world, to teleport away, right now. At the highest level, the chances of the Assembly counterspelling were low. He could run, run from it all, find some forgotten corner of the world to complete the research.
Essek may be a face, but it’s tempting. Nothing like willingly being handed the thing you conspired to steal. Of course, this plan would likely end in his execution, but realism can’t break the fantasy.
He hands the beacon over to Verin, to place in the case once more, and hopes whatever lapse, whatever hesitation, passes off as mere religious fervor.
A deliberate Eodwulf-Caleb-Essek-Verin chain/parallel here.
If Widogast notices - if he has any hesitation, watching the second, final beacon vanish from his grasp - he shows no signs of it. Essek wishes that could give him comfort.
This line is the core of the fic. I have thought about it, but really...I don’t think I can show Caleb’s POV, not for a while at least, because the question is...who is he? what are the blumentrio really up to? why turn on Ikithon, why hand over the beacon, why end the war? Goodness of their hearts, or another plan up their sleeves?
And, what Essek is most concerned with: do they know his role? Do they suspect? Or is Vess de Rohan the only one who still knows.
The priest steps back to the center, and, with only half a second delay, Essek raises his hands to meet Widogast’s, to hold them. The sensation of skin against his is like a shock - and he’s grateful that his exposure to the Mighty Nine has weaned him of that, that he has no reaction.
Essek is touch starved.
He keeps his eyes on Widogast, as the priest begins to read out the marriage requirements, hands resting over theirs clasped. It’s an inane, mostly symbolic list, but the most important, most binding one, comes last.
“-til death do you part?”
Exandrian vows probably aren’t the same as American. But there’s nothing more dramatic than swearing to the death.
They both have a very simple (well, simple, not easy) way out.
“I do,” Essek says, and it’s no small effort to force his voice to match the volume of the priests, to not catch in his throat.
He repeats the same for Widogast, who answers just as cleanly, an echoing, “I do.”
First words either say. Again, happening to them, not by them.
By force of will, Essek is making sure no one sees any signs he’s nervous or uncertain. Caleb is the same.
“Then, by the powers vested in me, by god, king, and country, I pronounce you - wed!”
Roman pietas was in my head for god/king/country.
Below, the crowds rise, not quite cheery excitement, but the sound of applause filling the chapel. He turns to the side, facing the crowd and looking out at them in full for the first time, bracing himself on the sight of the Mighty Nine, risen and whooping from the front row.
Standing on the dais, it’s just him, Caleb, Wulf, Verin, the priest, and the Dusk Captain. Enough to forget theirs a whole crowd - tight angle, this is just the two of them.
But they aren’t alone, it’s a show. And a successful one at that.
He’s still holding Caleb’s hand - no, Widogast is holding his hand - not gripping it, not tightly, but not letting go, either. It wasn’t one of the things brought up, in the highly detailed description of how the ceremony would take place - maybe a slip, the Empire forgetting that they didn’t do weddings, much less ones of this style - maybe a last-minute choice, trying to better signify unity before the crowds - maybe a personal decision, not wanting to let go for whatever reason.
Neither is quite ready to let go just yet. It’s easier to have someone to brace yourself against, even if you don’t trust them. Not wanting to admit it, Essek justifies. Clearly this is either a Dwendalian tradition they forgot to mention or Caleb making a political move.
Best not to dwell on it. In unison, they both step forward, down the center aisle, the line of people trailing after them.
Or, maybe not. But Essek isn’t going to let himself think about romance. He doesn’t need to like Caleb. He just needs to survive.
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jochamon · 3 years
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Happy Thursday, everyone!! 
Welcome to another episode of "This Was Meant To Be A Quick Practice Sketch, What Are You Doing"! When will I be free of this ginger wizard?
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florallychaotic · 2 years
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I'm just saying in context of a Hadestown AU, Jester is Orpheus and Caleb is Eurydice but also Bren is Hades and High Priestess Lavorre is Persephone so that's cool for me to imagine
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galedekarios · 3 years
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i’ve lost control of my life
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s0ftpining · 3 years
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remembering how to draw them
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vecna · 5 years
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I’ve been thinking about Caleb’s ~endgame~ lately, and even though I rarely write meta, I figured I’d share some of those thoughts.
Every time there’s a new bout of push-and-pull between Caleb and Fjord, and their (vastly different) drives for power, inevitably I see a resurgence of galaxy brain hot takes about how Caleb is going to follow his goals to the extreme end, and become the campaign’s lawful evil Big Bad. A lot of people more eloquent than me have talked about why that’s a boring take, and I agree with them. But honestly, I think it just shows a vast misunderstanding of his character, and what his goal actually is.
Now, as a disclaimer, I’m not going to sit here and say that Caleb is just a poor misunderstood woobie who has done no wrong. He’s done plenty of wrong -- sometimes against his will, sometimes not -- and will absolutely continue to do wrong in pursuit of what he wants.
But I really don’t think that what Caleb wants is power for the sake of power. He’s not an Avantika. He doesn’t want to be another Trent Ikithon. And I firmly believe he doesn’t want reality-altering abilities so he can become some all-powerful Thanos entity, going around snapping his fingers to bend the world to his will.
Some people have edged close to what I think he wants -- there’s been a lot of posts about how he intends to bring his parents back to life, or alter history so they never died. But even that is missing the mark a bit, I think. If all he meant was to resurrect them, he could have gathered their bones and then tried to amass a dragon hoard of money so he could pay for them to be brought back by a cleric. That doesn’t require reality-altering powers.
What I really think is that people are grossly underestimating exactly how deep Caleb’s self-loathing is. Honestly, we’ve seen peeks of it all throughout the show in his behavior -- in how he undervalues himself and puts himself down, and dodges compliments or concern from other party members in a way that shows he doesn’t agree with them. He tells himself he needs to not get attached to people because they’ll be in the way of his pursuit for power, but it’s clear to me he also thinks he doesn’t deserve to have friends. He said himself that he thinks he’s an awful human being with no hope of forgiveness. And, probably the most important to this post -- when Matt said Caleb’s readings showed him that people who mess with time magic blink themselves out of existence, Caleb was totally unbothered.
So, what I fervently believe, even though it wrecks me:
As he is right now, if Caleb got access to a Wish spell or something, I don’t think he would just Wish his parents back to life. I think he would Wish himself out of existence. Not just currently -- I think he’d alter history so he’d never been born at all, and just vanish from being and memory entirely. This way, not only would his parents never have died, but all the (self-perceived) evil he’d done would be undone. No one would remember what he’d done because it never happened. He could never hurt anyone again because he would be gone. Problem solved. The end.
Now, obviously this is going to change over the campaign as it plays out. It’s already starting to change, IMO. So, we’ll see.
But idk, I think all these people who are super eager to throw Caleb under the bus and cast him as this power-hungry fiend who wants Unlimited Power are just kinda... missing a really crucial part of him that (in my opinion) reveals more of his plans than this little power feuds with Fjord.
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spottedenchants · 8 months
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Relationship: Essek Thelyss ~ Caleb Widogast
Tags: Established Relationship, POV Essek, Dissociation, Panic Attacks, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Non-Verbal Communication, Non-Sexual Kink, Body Worship, Non-Sexual Intimacy, Post-Campaign 2, Domestic Fluff
Summary:
The ghost floats close, existing to the left of his own hollow skin. He is rude, interrupting Caleb’s work. He can’t bring enough of himself to care; what use are future plans if the present is unsurvived.
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Ch 1: A Humble Embrace, a Vulnerable Place - In which Caleb has a body where Essek has none
Ch 2: A Humble Embrace, a Venerable Place - In which the wizards wander their way back to a form of normalcy
Read on AO3
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chaddicus · 6 years
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y’know not to sound bitter or anything but I rly wish that, instead of so many ppl assuming caleb was in love with astrid alone & completely forgetting that there was... also eodwulf.... and I don’t fuckin remember caleb saying he was only in love with one person specifically..... like I’m pretty sure he was very vague and only said “I fell in love” and very SPECIFICALLY didn’t offer anything more when beau/nott pressed him for who it was... I wish some folks would look at all this evidence and go ‘oh yeah he was definitely in love with both of them wasn’t he’
and like. sure he’s only mentioned astrid so far in that one single drunk line, but that doesn’t actually say shit??? it confirms that, if nothing else, he used to dance with astrid. based on his previous statements, we infer that this means he was in love with her. sure! probably! that’s a vaild conclusion to draw at this point! but that’s not, imo, a line that would have gone differently either way, w caleb being in love with eodwulf as well or not
and anyway even if it comes up later that yeah okay, he was only in love with astrid and eodwulf was a friend or maybe a friendly rival or maybe some sort of shitty love triangle idk,,, 90% of the point of shipping isn’t just??? for canon??? and I don’t get y no one is hopping on the caleb/astrid/eodwulf train??? like. why
I know it’s not bc the fandom’s suddenly super str8 and against the prospect of caleb with a dude bc we still have widomauk for like, #1 campaign 2 ship or something (tho u could argue for lesbophobia there since beauyasha has had... way more development and outright shit in the show and yet,,,), so I mean the only thing I can think of is that, despite the prevalence of polymachina last time around, which actually WASN’T as prevalent as it felt like, but simply more so than poly in other fandoms, despite that, people can’t imagine a poly relationship unless they’ve decided they like the individual pairings involved and don’t want to choose,, and canon would have to punch them in the face for them to accept a poly relationship they weren’t actively seeking out, and just
ppl ignore poly stuff so often. it’s not like. it’s not like homophobia or biphobia or whatever it’s not on that scale I’m not complaining about it like that but it bothers me so much tbh. like. poly ships are so good, I feel them so deeply, and I have only ever seen ONE instance of a canon poly relationship, and that’s in a movie about real actual people who really actually had that relationship (and it was such a good movie, professor marston and the wonder women, go find it y’all missed out) so the possibility, here, that maybe liam wrote it into caleb’s backstory, that maybe, after the heartbreaking shit with vax and keyleth and gilmore, he might have decided to put caleb in a poly relationship of similar makeup (f/m/m), the idea of that has me feeling almost overwhelmed! and honestly I feel like I’m not entirely speculating based off bullshit! I feel like there is some actual basis for my feelings outside of just my feelings! but I’ve only seen like. ONE other person even acknowledge the idea
it’s not even that I like the characters and want this specific relationship. we know nothing about eodwulf and astrid except that they did the same horrible stuff caleb did and caleb had to flee on his own, so they probably kept doing it. but it’s like. people are hopping onto the assumption of caleb/astrid with no trouble! they might not be actively shipping it (or they might! idk!) but they’re sorting it into their assumptions of canon. & They’re completely ignoring the prospect of the poly alternative. like why??would liam include eodwulf and astrid both if caleb just fell in love with astrid and said nothing else?? why would he be so vague and dodgy about specifying who he fell in love with when pressed??? why would he avoid just saying ‘I fell in love with astrid’???? what’s the fucking point of skipping that specific detail??? why would he be happy to say he fell in love but not say he fell in love with astrid????? if it’s a poly relationship that vagueness makes a lot more sense & I can understand why caleb wouldn’t want to talk about it!!!!! but honestly I can’t imagine him being so mysterious about it if he was just in a normal ordinary plain str8 m/f relationship (not to imply that m/f relationships are inherently str8 it’s just the principle here, that people are so quick to jump on this m/f ship over the m/m and f/m/m in this specific case, that the concept of a bi/pan/polysexual caleb being in love with both astrid and eodwulf is just so beyond what they can believe, that they don’t even think of it)
and I’m emotional right now and not rational so whatever but I’ve been feeling bad and okay maybe I am a little bitter but mostly I’m just sad
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microcosmtoxin · 3 years
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ooh how about Caleb for the stimboard?
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caleb widogast stimboard - gifs from pinterest
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temult · 3 years
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AU where Caleb’s disintegrate reflects off of Vokodo and kills Jester. Angst follows. Hope you like it <3
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ThreeGremlinsInATrenchcoat | Shadowgast Week 2021 Masterlist
(cause why not) Day #1: Gravity & Attraction | “Except Gravity, I could Control”, rated M
A follow-up oneshot to “Attraction is just a form of Gravity”, mostly soft and romantic. Potentially with an upcoming spicy Chapter 2, but it works as a standalone. (10302 Words)
Day #2: Future & Fate | “The Potential of Us”, rated T
Essek has to face the consequences of his actions and Caleb doesn’t want him to. A conversation-heavy fic about Essek’s wants and regrets. (6178 Words)
Day #3: Pearls & Amber | “Pearls are a Wizard’s Best Friend”, rated G
Some very light fluff about Essek and Calb buying components and magic items. Set sometime after the campaign with Essek as a temporary or permanent part of the Mighty Nein. (5215 Words)
Day #4: Stars & Second Chances | "Facts and Emotion in the Quiet of Night”, rated M
Honestly, I wondered a T rating might suffice but there’s that saying about safety. Caleb takes Essek on what could potentially be called a date. They talk about what getting a second chance means. (5711 Words)
Day #5: Ashes & Artifacts | "Mishap”, rated T
While fleeing, Caleb and Essek accidentally Teleport to a place that is a bit too much for Caleb. He needs to keep it together while Essek learns a thing or two about the Empire and about Caleb’s past. The only entry that is truly unfinished and awaiting a second chapter. (7116 Words, before ch.2)
Day #6: Time & Transformation | "This Path I walk on Looks Good Beneath Your Feet”, rated T
Caleb and Essek return to Aeor to trade some theories. However, temptation sits in the room with them and Caleb pressures Essek to tell him his plans. The plot is very much limited to / driven by the conversation. (8397 Words)
Day #7: Bread & Soup | "Widogast 201: Applications for Bread”, rated T
A sequel to “Widogast 101: Introduction to Bread”. Shameless, silly fluff. Essek is excited about having dinner with Caleb, but something else gets in the way. Caleb isn’t content to let the evening pass without making it up to him. (6342 Words)
It’s been very fun and also a bit tiring to participate! I’ve never done anything like this before. If you decide to read any of these, always mind the tags as I haven’t listed them here and have fun! @shadowgastweek
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