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#ch: keith
almdragonrend · 3 months
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I have somthing I really need to say, I don't get how FL could be popular, I mean if you think for a moment about it even OG Katarina is morally superior to the Heroine in Maria and all The Capture Targets in the story, I mean nothing against an Evil protagonist or a good antagonist, but than don't portray Katarina as a Villain and Maria as a hero ! That's wrong! Katarina leaves Maria completely alone in both the Nicole and Alan route, meaning she only opposed Maria when she's trying to seduce HER fiancée or mess with her family or do both in the Harem route!
Than the fact that she's accused of bullying those bellow her station is bulls* she only bullied Maria who I just said why she did it and Keith whose arrival at HER HOME turned HER PARENTS against eachother when she was a Child! That doesn't make it right but she couldn't know that this wasn't his fault, and his own original family wanted to kill him! Luigi saved his life and that's how he thanked him ?
than Geordo she gave almost half her life up to that point in complete support and devotion to that mother fu* and swore an Oath to marry her! I don't think many people get how bad a possible future king breaking an Oath is especially considering Geordo's Grandpa's actions,
further more Katarina actually don't mistreated dose below her status, first her Maid Anne who despite being related to Nobility is herself a Commoner just like Maria and Katarina even in FL verse treats her like a Sister more than a servant!
Next there's Sianna, she's the bottom of the barrel of Nobility and still Katarina cherished her more than anyone else! This makes the claim of her bullying people for their status down right nonsensicaly!
Especially when she's the only one who never partake in bullying everyone's favorite Target Sophia Ascart, since we see in VOD is never once mentioned that she did so when Sophia joined her book club, that would have had to be brought up than ! Meaning is the only Noble Girl who didn't bully Sophia! (Except Marry) and it's even implied she discouraged others from bullying Sophia!
When Bakarina in verge of doom just assumed OG Katarina bullied more people and wanted to apologize during VoD judgment event no one spoke up! And that Is most likely because she never bullied anyone other than the Girl who tried to steal her fiancée and/or shame her family!
Also, it's said that Katarina's bullying was only on the very of Criminal, meaning she never really committed a crime, the one attacking Maria with fire was Noelia, who acted on her own accord!
Keith and/or Geordo basically rigged the Trial to get Katarina stripped of her status and exiled which is a way to hard punishment anyway! When she comes back with dark magic she didn't even kill someone for it! She just had it !
And that idiots in the development team must have believe that this made her appear more evil since she's just born with the "bad magic" but instead it just means she didn't kill anybody for it ! Right OG Katarina a murderer and the idiots of the FL development believed Katarina being NOT a murderer makes her more evil, what does that say about their Character ?
I heard a lot about people saying something for a Original Katarina redemption arc and I really hope she gets an happy ending, she deserves it but what people need to understand is Original Katarina dosen't need an redemption arc because she has not done anything so bad that she deserved getting to that point anyway, instead she deserved a pretty apology from Geordo, Keith and Maria
Given her a redemption arc basically means recognizing Maria, Geordo and Keith, Cheating, betraying,Oath breaking and manipulate a Chords to commit prejudice as a good thing, Original Katarina shouldn't have to them! They should have to apologize to her! Even when something like that calls for ways more than an apology! And first of all her entire sentence should be revoked !!!! + there has to be compensation for everything she had to go trough!!!
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They all sort of… paired off, after the war. Not, like, exact pairs — maybe more like groups. Shiro reunited with Adam. The two of them bought a house far the fuck away from the Garrison and everything associated with it. Hunk and Pidge paired off, both pursuing their doctorates like the smartypants they were and are. Allura, Coran, and Romelle stayed on Earth for a bit, but all three of them ached for the comfort of home, and returned to New Altea eventually.
That left Lance and Keith.
Well, not really. Originally Lance assumed it meant he was left alone to try and reconnect with the family he’d grown away from — a family he loved and still loves with every fibre of his being, but the family that he couldn’t quite… click with, anymore. He’s changed, they’d changed, and he wasn’t sure where he fit. He’d been scared, although he wouldn’t admit it.
Keith had been the one to approach him, actually. Asked Lance if he’d want to move in with him.
“You’re not moving in with Shiro and Adam?”
Keith snorted. “Absolutely not. They have retired into a little home on the prairies, or whatever. I have some respect for my ears and so I will not be moving in to the constant background noise of my brother having regular honeymoon sex, or whatever.”
It was a joke. He’d meant for Lance to laugh. But the shock was still ringing through his head; laughter was the furthest thing from his mind.
“With the Alteans, then, to New Altea?”
“Nope.”
“The Blades, with your mother?”
“I’ve had enough of the Blade of Marmora, I think. I liked it there, but I don’t really want to do it for the rest of my life. Besides, I actually missed Earth. I didn’t realise how pretty it was here ‘til I left.”
“…Oh.”
And it has been fine, for the first few days. Awkward, but fine. It had been like having a roommate, really — not that Lance knew what that was like, but he could wager a guess. They made schedules, divvied up chores, occasionally hung out on the couch.
It came out of nowhere, Lance’s hurt. Well, not really nowhere. It had to come out sometime. But it had seemed so random, then. Lance had pushed the hurt down so far for so long it was almost unrecognisable, but then there it was: for the first time in as long as he could remember, Lance wanted everyone else to ache as badly as he did. To writhe, to suffer. He wanted Pidge to feel stupid. He wanted Hunk to feel abandoned. He wanted Shiro to feel small, for Allura to feel dismissed and second-rate. He wanted them to hurt for every pain they’d made him feel. He’d wanted Keith, especially, to feel hated. He’d wanted Keith to feel like he was lesser and a burden and unloved and forgotten.
Lance wanted to be cruel. But he couldn’t bring himself to say the words, so he went silent.
Keith noticed, because of course he did. They didn’t talk to many other people, the two of them. He’d left it, at first. Lance didn’t know what Keith assumed was going on, but he’d smiled at Lance more and left it at that. After a week of Lance’s silence, though, he’d started to get a little pushy.
“Hey, you okay? We haven’t talked in a while.”
Lance kept his eyes on the task in front of him, scrubbing the plate a little harder.
“Which is weird,” Keith continued, “because we literally live together. Super weird, actually. Unlikely, even.”
The plate cracked in Lance’s hand, porcelain shatters embedding themselves into his palm. The water turned pink.
“Jesus, Lance, what happened?” Keith rushed forward, grabbing a clean dishtowel and reaching for Lance’s arm.
Lance flinched.
Keith froze.
“…Lance?”
Lance swallowed. He drained the soiled water, carefully scooping out the broken pieces to discard, but a pale hand reached over again, slowly this time. Hesitantly. Lance forced himself to stay still, even as he felt bile rising up his throat. Forced himself to keep his fists from clenching, so the shards didn’t get any deeper. Forced himself to breath.
“Let me get it,” Keith said softly.
He didn’t want to. He didn’t want Keith’s help, Keith’s gentleness. He didn’t need it anymore. He had needed it, then, needed Keith’s gentleness and care and love and smile and embrace but he didn’t fucking get it, then, not when he needed it, not when he was gasping and drowning for it, so why the fuck would he take it now? Why would he take Keith’s offered hand, now, when his heart had moved on?
His jaw ached, strained with the need to yell the words. To spit them in Keith’s face.
Where were you? He wanted to yell. Where were you when I was suffering? When I was dying? When I was begging the sun to shine and it rained on me as I lay drowning? Where was your hand, then? Your saving grace?
But he couldn’t bring himself to say the words. So he dried his hands, swallowed the lump in his throat, and walked away.
———
It would have been one thing if he was declining calls. But it really ached that his phone was drier than the desert. Now that he wasn’t calling, wasn’t reaching out to the people that were supposed to be one with him, they’d dropped him. Were they even thinking of him? Was he even on their radar? Did they talk to each other, and was Lance the odd one out?
He hoped they still thought about him, even occasionally. It was too painful to think otherwise. It was stupid to feel the pain, anyway, to wish they called even though Lance knows damn well he wouldn’t answer. He’s still furious with each and every one of them, although the hurt is starting to overcome to anger.
Part of the ache is that he doesn’t really… do much. They’re not allowed to accept jobs, not for another four months. They had psych evals, after that final battle, all of ‘em. Apparently they each had PTSD, and until they were ‘appropriately settled into a civilian life’, it was ‘unfair to both them and their employer to expect regular labour’. Why they weren’t allowed to do some freelance stuff or whatever, Lance didn’t know, but it meant a lot of time wasting away in his room. He’d tried helping the relief effort, and he’d done that for a while, but he’d had a couple… episodes. Maybe he was a little affected by the war, the Omega Shield in particular. Whatever. What he does know is that he’d become very well-acquainted with the insides of his eyelids. He can’t remember the last time he was awake for longer than six consecutive hours.
There’s a knock at the door. Lance doesn’t even bother taking the pillow off his head.
“Lance?” Keith calls.
Lance doesn’t acknowledge him. Even if he had the energy, he hasn’t talked to Keith in five months. He hasn’t talked to anyone in five months, not even his mamá. He doubts his voice even works, anymore.
Keith sighs heavily. “I’m going to see your mother,” he says. “She invited us both for dinner again. She’s worried about you. So am I. You coming? She’s making garlic knots.” The last sentence is coaxing, singsong. Lance wonders when Keith’s patience is going to give out. He’s surprised he’s even lasted this long. He wonders what he’s gonna do when Keith finally quits. Breaks the lease, packs his bags. Leaves Lance again.
Maybe it’s not fair for Lance to be angry at Keith for something he’s not even done, yet. But Lance is tired. Too tired for nuance.
Keith leaves without him.
———
The most action Lance gets, any day of the week, is timing when Keith is out of the house, because then he can go eat. (Does he eat every day? Probably. Maybe. Honestly, he’s not sure. Time kind of blurs. He eats when he’s so hungry he can’t sleep, and showers when he convinces himself he should.) He’s gotten pretty good at it, actually. He’s so tuned in to Keith’s footsteps that they actually wake him up, because his body knows that it’s the only time it’s moving.
(Lance does know, objectively, that he’s killing himself. He knows it. He feels it in the frailty of his bones, the bags under his eyes even though he does nothing but sleep. In the way his mouth always feels gross because he rarely makes himself brush his teeth. In the way he’s running out of things he cares about, reasons to stay alive.)
That’s probably why he perks up now, hearing the footsteps approach his door. He’s a little angry at himself for the perking up in question, but whatever. Who cares. Keith is going to talk to him vaguely through the door and give up, and then Lance can go back to sleep, and then Lance can stop thinking about it.
Keith’s not talking to him through the door. He’s also not leaving. In fact, the only sound Lance hears is the jiggling of the handle.
Lance blinks. He sits up. Every joint cracks, because he hasn’t moved in a very long time.
Oh no.
The door swings open, revealing Keith in all his glory, holding a pillow and a blanket and looking very, very determined. He walks over to Lance’s bed and shoves him a little, albeit gently. Lance bites back an incredulous ‘what the fuck do you think you’re doing’. Keith either does not notice or care, throwing his pillow beside Lance’s and crawling on the bed. He fluffs the blanket over both of them, and Lance tells himself that he does not care.
“We’re watching a movie,” Keith says firmly, “like we did when we first moved in. And we are perhaps going to even chat, but no pressure. Mostly you’re going to do something that isn’t being unconscious, and we’re going to do it together.”
Lance takes a moment to process that. Mostly he feels nothing. Whatever. Keith can do what he wants. Lance will just wait until Keith gets bored and then go back to sleep.
But another part of him reminds him of the pain Keith caused. The hurt he felt.
Not now, Lance.
I just don’t want to spend eternity with Lance.
The rage lights the fire back into his heart. The molten lava of his pain spreads throughout his veins, and he tenses. The words crawl up his throat. He shoves them down.
“We’re watching Barbie Pegasus, because you love that movie.”
Lance shoves the words down.
“And then you’re going to call your mother.”
He shoves them down.
“And then we’re going to do a face mask.”
Down.
“I was gonna bring snacks, but we don’t have any of that pink-coated popcorn you like and I haven’t gone grocery shopping in a while, actually, so the fridge is kind of barren.”
Down.
“Uh, that’s it for plans. I’ll be honest, I kind of stormed in here with very little forethought.”
“Why do you care now?”
The words burst out of him. He can do nothing to stop them, nor can he stop the tears.
Keith startles. “You talked,” he breathes. He sounds awed. “Like, really. With your mouth and vocal chords.”
Lance ignores him. “You said you didn’t want me,” he says. He tastes salt and acid. “You said you wanted to be away from me eternity. You think I am annoying. You only want to live with me because you have no other options. You don’t love me. The rest of the team stopped loving me months ago. My family mourned me, they don’t need me anymore. I don’t — I don’t know why you’re here. Why are you still here? Why — I don’t know. I don’t understand! I want to hate you! You hurt me, you hurt every part of me! You broke my fucking heart, Keith, and you don’t seem sorry and I don’t know what to do with the pieces, now.”
Lance doesn’t look at Keith. He can’t. He clenches the blanket Keith brought in his fists, watching the grey of the fabric get blurrier and blurrier as the tears build and drop from his eyes.
“Lance.”
Lance swallows.
“Lance, look at me.”
Keith sounds like he’s begging. Lance sobs.
“I’m so lost, Keith. I’m so — lost.”
“Oh, Lance.” Keith reaches out for him. Lance doesn’t move. He doesn’t flinch, he doesn’t reach back. He sits there. Keith doesn’t seem to mind. He wraps a solid arm around Lance’s waist, dragging him closer. He turns Lance around once he’s close enough, pressing his face into his neck. This time, Lance goes willingly.
He’s still mad. He’s still hurt. His heart still aches and he doesn’t know how to feel.
But it’s been so long since he’s been held. Weeks. Months. (Years, really. It stopped in space, the affection. Everyone got busy, and then got tired. He doesn’t even remember if he hugged his sisters, when they got back, or if there was too much to worry about.)
“I’m sorry. I didn’t know,” Keith whispers. His hands run gently through Lance’s probably gross hair. “I didn’t realize. I didn’t think about how much I was hurting you, how much you were already hurt. I was scared. Everything was changing for me, I was stressed, I was supposed to lead people I didn’t know had to lead.” He sighs. He presses a kiss to Lance’s head. “I failed you, Lance. I’m sorry.”
Lance sobs again. It’s been… so long, since someone apologized. Since someone cared about his pain. It’s — soothing. Cold water running over his skin, cooling the burns. He clutches Keith tighter.
Maybe things will be okay.
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corpiote · 4 months
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keith drama ch 24 slight spoilers below
yves being himself🥰
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irl, I am liam. however, this scene is fluffy and humorous, so I'll let it slide
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corruptedplaylist · 2 months
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ch 17 update
highlight reel includes: garrison trio grocery shopping, keith and krolia meet for the first time (lots of angst), the author projects very heavily onto this chapter, sweet moment in the end where keith realizes he's loved, that little fucker
excerpt:
“This is my order,” he says, dumbly. He looks at Lance because of course it’s Lance. “You remember my order? We’ve been to that place, like, twice.” 
“Um, duh. It’s like, weirdly specific. How could I not?” Lance makes a tsk sound and suddenly avoids his gaze, picking at his shoelaces.
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ambrosiallkiss · 5 months
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That hyphen of censorship 😅☺️
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venulus · 10 months
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It's official. Rio is one of my IkePri faves. And as soon as I have time, I'll write a fluffy lil fic featuring him *sighs dreamily*
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shysheeperz · 2 years
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scribare-archive · 6 months
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been raining heavy all day & it reminds him of home. always raining in london and the weather is pretty much this, all the time. only, it's a little warmer here. at least right now, not quite fall yet. so instead of grabbing bag from the back of car and rush inside : he walks around the car and there's a small smile tugging at the corner of lips when coming face to face with her. maybe she will complain about it. that her hair or clothes are getting ruined or that she'll get sick out here, soaked through within minutes in this weather. but he really really really can't bring himself to care right now. want to enjoy there moments with her. because they have them. they fought for it, it hadn't been easy & now they can just enjoy it. arm wrap around her waist and pull her close : already feeling the rain dripping down features as nose brush against hers, gaze finding hers. leaning in and lips find hers, warm against hers, despite the rain and temperature, pulling her in closer as kiss deepens.
@moiraied + sharing a kiss in a heavy downpour of rain.
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BACCANO! 1935(-B) ARC SPOILER!
Hm.... Did I ever think to include the Carlotta groupies' "Kill Melvi, Frame Him as a Gandor Spy, Pin Murder on Claire" plan on my 1935 plot points compilation list? I'd better do that if I didn't.
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Chapters: 5/? Fandom: Voltron: Legendary Defender Rating: Explicit Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings Relationships: Keith/Lance (Voltron), Keith & Lance (Voltron), Keith & Shiro (Voltron), Allura & Keith (Voltron), Allura & Coran & Hunk & Keith & Lance & Pidge | Katie Holt & Shiro, Allura & Lance (Voltron), Hunk & Lance (Voltron) Characters: Keith (Voltron), Lance (Voltron), Shiro (Voltron), Allura (Voltron), Pidge | Katie Holt, Hunk (Voltron), Coran (Voltron) Additional Tags: oh boyyy here we go, Sexual Content, Implied Sexual Content, Explicit Sexual Content, Alien Biology, Half-Galra Keith (Voltron), Demisexual Keith (Voltron), Mpreg, Pregnancy, Unplanned Pregnancy, Didn't Know I Could Get Pregnant, Ft: a Very Stressed Out Lance, and a Bizarrely Calm Keith, all things considered, Lance (Voltron) is a Good Friend, Lance (Voltron) is Stressed, How is that not a tag, it is now a tag, Supportive Lance (Voltron), Supportive Shiro (Voltron), Shiro is also Stressed, Shiro (Voltron) is a Good Sibling, Allura & Keith (Voltron) Friendship, more like, Allura & Keith (Voltron) are BESTIES, I will go down with this best friend ship, Team as Family, Slow Burn, Falling In Love, it's that when-you-accidentally-knock-up-your-teammate-then-fall-in-love trope, That's a trope right, why am i writing this, i cannot believe i'm writing this, No A/B/O Dynamics, let me disclose that i'm not sure if this constitutes as smut, like...there's sex??, but so far it's not very Sexy Times if you know what i mean, in fact it's pretty angsty, Mildly Dubious Consent, on both keith anD lance's parts, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, tag updates:, Vomiting, Morning Sickness, Crying, Emotional Conversations, Keith (Voltron) is Emotional, Lance (Voltron) is Emotional, Everyone (Voltron) is Probably Emotional, Author is emotional, Smut, this now definitely has smut, Sex, Friends With Benefits, i guess that applies lol, Enthusiastic Consent, Sexy Times, Fluff and Smut, Pregnant Keith (Voltron) Summary:
Things are grim. But they’ve been worse, he reminds himself. Keith is tougher than them all—tougher than Lance, definitely. Keith will be fine. Knowing him, he’s probably somewhere across the base blowing it up by now. He’ll probably bust himself and Lance out of here before the others can even get here.
“Yeah,” Lance nods to himself, trying to convince his heart of the same thing. “Yeah. Everything . . . It’s going to be fine.”
Things are grim, indeed—but they’ve been worse. Until he has a reason to panic, Lance decides, he’s going to keep his cool and not panic.
-
or,
A mission gone wrong lands Lance and Keith in a panic-worthy situation.
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litearra · 2 days
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[ CHOKE ]: sender grabs receiver by the throat
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breath hitches in the back of her throat, the calloused fingertips and cold metal of his rings dig into her delicate skin.     ❝ mmm, rockstar ❞     taunting tone, almost as if she is daring @literare to squeeze harder. stilettos nearly eliminating the slight difference in height between them. pupils dilating as she meets his gaze, thrill coursing through her body. a slight shift of her hips, desperate for some friction to ease the ache between her thighs.
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brainrottingg · 5 months
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Tags
Campaigns
- c: Wonderland
- c: Witchlight
Characters
- ch: Scarlet “Queenie” Fyre
- ch: Alastair Kingsleigh
- ch: “Jekyll”
- npc: Ivory Kingsleigh
- npc: Monica “Moni” Cardiff
- npc: Clifford “Clif” Cardiff
- npc: Alice Kingsleigh
- npc: Matty Hatter
- npc: Harry March
- npc: Indsma Ire
- npc: Dorian Potter
- npc: Death
- ch: Avas Galle
- ch: Jackal
- ch: Simon Kieth
- ch: Lady Lada
- ch: Jex
- ch: Laurel Kieth
- ch: Valin Sars
- ch: Grell Hammond
- ch: Bronwyn Galligan
- ch: Lycorin Galligan
- ch: Sekhara Metteeva
- ch: Svira Galligan
- ch: Svari Galligan
- ch: Sara Galligan
- ch: Sevisa Ijikiev
- ch: Carris Avedran
- ch: Vesper Severna
- ch: Helga Severna
- ch: Ian Myran
- ch: Belun Myran
- ch: Twyla Haim
- ch: Per Haim
- ch: Bassil Tettyr
- ch: Mat Tettyr
- ch: Cecilia Tettyr
- ch: Alyzter Pallis
- ch: Peter Pallis
- ch: Barris Avedran
- ch: Chimera
(Will add to this as I need to)
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a mother’s love: ch 1
It has been so long since the team has had even half a second to breathe to themselves, let alone take a break. That’s the thing about fighting a relentless empire of space Nazis  – there is ten thousand years worth of shit to fix. They are seven people. Breaks are a pipe dream if not a total fantasy.
But they are, quite simply, seven people. Seven people who cannot function every second of every day with no time to step back, gather themselves. Whether or not they have time for a break is irrelevant; they either schedule one or one will be scheduled for them. So they do, reasoning one single day at the beach would be well worth the sand that would be invariably tracked into the castle, to remain for eternity.
Of course Allura and Coran had been ready to go immediately, having all their clothes and belongings on the castle, but the rest of the team hadn’t thought to pack a swimsuit when they went to check out the weird vives Keith felt int he desert. And there’s a kind of unspoken rule about many things in the castle, as haunted as it is – no one really wants to dig through rooms with old ghosts to find something that might fit them. It feels wrong.
Luckily for everyone, Lance’s needle-threading abilities aren’t limited to flying. He’s pretty good with his hands, too, and after securing some material from Coran, he gets right on it.
For Pidge, he creates what is vocally convinced is the ugliest set of swim shorts to ever see the light of day. He’d been inspired the very second he saw the neon yellow fabric with patches of barf green-brown, littered with pictures of weblums posed in such ways that could only be described as grotesque. He complains the entire time that simply looking at the fabric makes him physically ill, but Pidge is ecstatic. She doesn’t even mind when Lance refuses to continue working with the material, instead making her a swim tee out of plain black. 
Hunk, much more used to being Lance’s model, is happy with a pair of orange trunks that match his headband exactly. Shiro gets a pair in his favourite colour – a dusky pink – and bites back tears, because he is the dweebiest most emotional dork of all time. (Lance was originally going to do the same for Keith; make him a pair in his regular emo colours. Maybe even something that matched his nerdy go-go boots, as abhorrent as the swim-shorts and boots combo would be. But at the last minute he was struck with the divine urge to be a dick, and decided instead to make Keith a pair of plain maroon shorts, and then embroidered ‘dorkass’ into the waistband of the shorts with the same colour. He finds great joy in knowing that Keith will be wearing around a pair of shorts calling him a dorkass. He looks forward to telling him, after Keith wears them for a couple hours and has to live with it.)
On the day they finally get to go, the excitement in the air is palpable.
“Do you have to wear those shorts?” Allura asks for what is probably the fifteenth time in as many minutes.
Pidge sniffs obnoxiously. “Lance poured his heart and soul into making me these wonderful shorts and all you’ve done is shit on them. I should tell him you have no appreciation for his art.”
“It might improve them if I actually defecate on those abominations,” Allura mutters darkly. She glares at them as if they are specifically responsible for Zarkon himself.
Tired of listening to the same argument for fifteen minutes, Keith groans loudly. “For fuck’s sake, we’ve been waiting here for, like, two hours! How long does it take Lance to throw on a pair of shorts and get –”
“Throw on a pair of shorts?! Mullet, please. We are going to a public beach . I am looking like a babe or I am not going.”
Six heads swivel to the source of the sound, revealing Lance in all his glory.
Clearly, Lance has taken the creative opportunity to treat himself. Instead of just making a pair of trunks and throwing on a t-shirt, like everyone else (except for, of course, Allura, who looks absolutely ethereal in an elegant white one-pieces that matches her hair, and a sheer sparkly cover-up that reminds everyone that she is, in fact, royalty), he has taken the time to craft himself a calf-length yellow sundress. He has also somehow fashioned himself what absolutely must be be universe’s largest floppy sunhat, and –
“Are those mom sandals?” Hunk asks, aghast. “Jesus Christ, Lance.”
Pidge bursts out laughing. “If by babe you mean MILF,” she chokes out, because she has zero shame.
Shiro goes scarlet.
“Pidge!” he scolds. “You don’t just call people MILFs!”
“What’s a ‘milf’? Allura asks, frowning curiously.
“I swear to God if any of you tell her what MILF means  – “
Shiro doesn’t have to worry about the rest of the paladins corrupting Allura’s brain (not that his efforts will matter, because she and Hunk have an agreement, as the resident gossips – any and all garnered information will be shared at a later date to be analysed and recorded) because they’re all laughing to hard to get any words out. Except for Lance, of course, who does his very best to appear offended but can’t quite manage. 
At least being called a MILF is still kind of a compliment, no matter how teasingly Pidge had meant it. And he can concede to the point that he has seen his sister in law wear a nearly identical outfit, now that he’s thinking about it, and she’s actually a mom, so. Pidge may have a point.
“Whatever,” Lance says rolling his eyes. He bites his lip to tamp down his smile, shaking his head at the paladins, then lights up. “Wait, if I look like a MILF, I’ll attract all the DILFs! Score!”
Pidge, Hunk, and Keith sober up immediately, laughter disappearing from their faces at the thought of Lance’s flirting. Shiro sighs.
“How come you always ruin all my good jokes?” Pidge whines.
Lance smirks at her. “Not my fault I’m funnier than you are.”
“You are not – ”
“Are too!”
Coran, sensing an impending argument and possible wrestling match, speaks up. “Perhaps we should make our way to the beach while there’s still sunshine, hm?”
Everyone makes various noises of agreement, making their way to the exit. Hunk shifts the pail and shovel he has in his hands. Keith adjusts his utlity belt, which looks absolutely ridiculous paired with his swimsuit – not that he cares. Shiro takes a deep breath, closing his eyes.
God. He cannot wait to sit under the sun and sleep the whole time, leader duties be damned. Someone else can watch the troublemakers that are is teammates. Hopefully no one would drown, because Shiro is not monitoring that shit. He is tired. He needs a break. He is going to nap for six straight hours, and no one is going to stop him. The entire Empire could descend with every single ship they have and Shiro will simply say no. Not happening.
“Not a single fucking one of you is leaving this castle until I watch you put on sunscreen.”
The pure conviction in Lance’s voice makes everyone pause and turn to look at him. After a moment, Pidge breaks the tension with a dry laugh.
“Alright, Mom, sure,” she says sarcastically. She sticks her tongue out at him before turning back around.
Lance wastes no time entertaining her scathing wit. He pulls out a bottle of SPF 80 from what appears to be actual thin air, waving it emphatically at the paladins.
“Since all of you refuse to care for yourselves,” he says, pausing to look pointedly at each of them in turn, “I suppose it will fall onto me.” He gestures in front of him. “In line, children, hold out your hands. You must put it on your face and ears and neck and any exposed skin. No exceptions.”
No one moves. Lance claps his hands sharply, startling them.
“Chop chop! Form a line!”
The paladins just blink at him, gobsmacked. 
Keith speaks up first. “Where did you even get a bottle of Hawaiian Tropic? We’ve been in space for a whole-ass year!”
“Yeah, and why are you only being anal about it now?” Pidge adds.
Lance glares at them, hands on his hips. “I am responsible about my health, and had a bottle in my backpack when we were abducted.”
Four pairs of eyes roll in tandem. Lance insists on saying they were ‘abducted by aliens’ when they left in Blue, because he’s extra, as if it wasn’t him who boarded Blue first. As if he did not see the glowing blue wormhole and immediately suggest they go through it. ‘Abducted by aliens’ yeah right – he boarded their ship and asked them to take him to their leader, more like it. 
It’s a pointless argument to convince him otherwise, though. The paladins have tried dozens of times to no avail.
“Anyway,” Lance continues. “I used the fabricator to make more bottles when we first got here, along with shampoo and conditioner and stuff, all of which I delivered to your rooms. I have been under the impression that you have been dutifully using your protection from actual skin cancer like rational people, but it has recently come to my attention –” he looks pointedly at Pidge, who had been burned so badly on the last planet that the skin on her face peeled off in one go like one of Lance’s face masks, a comparison he did not find nearly as funny and thought-provoking as she did – “that the four of you cannot be trusted to apply protection like grown-ups, and so you will be treated like my niece and nephew, who are the only ones in my family who still complain about, once again, actual protection from literal cancer. So.” He looks at all of them individually, eyebrows raised and jaw set. “Again: line up, children.”
The paladins begrudgingly form a line, sensing from Lance’s tone that although he’s making jokes and speaking lightly, he’s one-hundred percent serious. He shakes his head and tuts at them every time he squeezes a dollop of white goop onto each of their hands.
Allura and Coran, recovering from their shock, exchange horrified looks.
“Human skin has not yet evolved protection from radiation?”
“And you complain about the only protection you have?”
“I’ll remind you that humans are only two hundred thousand years old,” Lance says to the Alteans. “So no, we haven’t really evolved superpowers yet. As for Allura’s point – ” he raises an eyebrow at the other humans, who are finally beginning to look slightly chastised – “some people are just plan stubborn.”
“Okay, okay, you’ve made your point, mother, we are wearing the sun protection,” Pidge says impatiently. “Can we go to the beach now?”
Lance nods. “As soon as I grab some water and snacks.”
“And you complain about the only protection you have?”
This time, it’s Keith who groans. “Come on, Lance, I’m sure there’s water and shit on the beach, and I don’t want to wait the billion years you’re foing to take to pack or whatever. Can we please just go.”
Lances raises a judgmental eyebrow again, and picks up a bag no one had seen from a few feet down the hall. 
‘Bag’, frankly, may not be the right word for it. It is approximately the size of Pidge, it’s so massive.
“What do you even have in there?” Pidge asks incredulously.
“I think you can actually fit the Green Lion in that bag,” he agrees observationally. 
“We’re literally only going to be gone for, like, ten hours,” Keith adds.
Shiro only sighs. Every moment of nonsense is one less minute of his tropical nap – minutes he mourns deeply.
Despite the complaining, Lances haughty eyebrow does not lower. “I notice that none of you have a bag.”
“...So?”
“What are you planning on drying off with? Sand? Especially you, Shiro – aren’t you napping? As for all the alleged water and snacks on the beach, Keith, I don’t see you packing any GAC. And you’re the most accident prone person I’ve ever met, Pidge, did you bother to bring a first aid kit?” He pauses, looking at Hunk’s shovel. “You nailed it, Hunk. No criticism for you.”
Hunk beams. Lance smiles back, then turns a very knowing and prim expression to the rest of the paladins.
The ensuing silence has Lance dripping smugness.
“That’s what I thought. None of you dorks ever plan ahead, yeesh. You’re welcome. Now, come on – we’re losing sunlight! Let’s go!”
chapter 2
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feathersontheclyde · 6 months
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club577 · 1 year
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13: One of your favorite 80’s songs
oooh this ones a tough one since i dont generally vibe w 80s music in general lmfao (yes i couldnt stand the pompeii 80s remix </3)
spotify has informed me that i have exactly 7 songs in my 1.5k song library that were released in the 80s, a number which is in fact a wild overestimate as it lists one of them as being killer queen (released 1974) and another as being "pennsylvania 6-5000" (released...1940)
out of the remaining 5, my current favorite is definitely Why Can't I Be You? - The Cure for entirely un-hannibal-hyperfixation reasons (<- lying)
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shysheeperz · 2 years
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