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biffhofosho · 1 year

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Prisoner to Temptation | Chapter Twelve

Word Count: 8.9k

A/N: This chapter was inspired almost in its entirety by two songs. “Wicked Game” by Chris Isaak is the first, and the other shall present itself...

Cvr | 01 | 02 | 03 | 04 | 05 | 06 | 07 | 08 | 09 | 10 | 11 | 12

Hyungwon was not at breakfast again, and when Naran inquired, she was told that he had gone out for the day with no indication of when he’d be back. Her ankle had reasonably recovered, and so, with nothing else to do nor anything else to occupy her thoughts other than the prince himself, she took to circling the gardens.

Since the weather had cleared, the ground had hardened, and the princess was able to venture to places she could not before. The gardens were much smaller here than they were in Changdeokgung, and most of the leafy things in them had been rendered brittle skeletons by the heavy rains. There were, however, pretty ornaments to add enough interest—a pavilion, a pond, several benches, and statues. Still, it was times like these that Naran wished she had any respectable accomplishments rather than the “unladylike” hobbies she’d picked up in Moghulikhan. As it were, she had nothing left to pass the time, so she headed up to the servant house.

There, she found a grim-faced, middle-aged man with deep-set eyes and thin lips who looked on her as though she were a fly buzzing around his head.

“Excuse me, sir,” she said, “can you tell me where the stables are?”

The man raised a heavily-calloused hand and gestured toward the opposite end of the yard, but his dialect was heavy, and Naran had a hard time understanding him. Luckily, Hansol poked his head out a window and proclaimed, “I will take you there, Your Highness.”

Relief washed through her at the prospect of a friendly escort. She welcomed the valet at her side, and, together, the pair set off toward the gates.

“Thank you,” she said. “I was about to wander aimlessly through this place in yet another circle.”

Hansol smiled. “The language is definitely regional in many pockets here. I imagine it would be very hard for Your Highness to make out anything he was saying.”

“It’s a good thing you showed up when you did then because I might have found myself following his directions right over a cliff.”

“Now, I could never allow that, Your Highness,” he said with a grin. “I’m glad I caught you anyway. I just came from the stables as it is. I have everything in order for you.”

“You do?”

There was that wide, boyish smile of his. “Of course. It would be awfully unfair to come to such beautiful country and not see any of it.”

“This is exactly what I needed. You know me well. Thank you, Hansol.”

At this, the servant scratched the back of his head with a bit of redness highlighting his cheeks. “In truth, Your Grace, you always give me credit too liberally. It was His Highness who suggested I take you on a ride.”

“Why would the prince— With you?”

Hansol cocked his head to the side as he tried to puzzle out the princess’s meaning. “Your Grace?”

“Just talking to myself, do not mind me. Did you…” Naran began carefully, “did you see the Prince this morning?”

“I did, Your Highness.”

“Is he— Um, how did he seem to you?”

The valet sighed. “His ill humor continues, but it is much improved from yesterday morning, I can at least report. I think the hot springs may have helped lighten his mind. After all, His Highness has been overwhelmed of late. Between the wedding and the holidays and all the unannounced guests at the palace, he must be very stressed because, in all our years together, I have never seen him so burdened. It weighs on my heart.”

“Oh…” she said as her eyes drifted to the pathway.

Hansol bowed then, his face redder than before. “I am so sorry, Your Highness! I should not have said those things. It is not my place.”

“No, no, I don’t mind. You know the prince better than most anyone, I should think. I am relieved to know he has you looking out for him.”

“Besides Her Highness, of course,” the servant amended with a gentle smile.

“Yes, well, I’m glad to hear his mood is improving,” replied Naran, though she could hear how distant her voice sounded as she processed Hansol’s thoughts. “I hope it continues so. Please look after him well, Hansol.”

“Always, Your Grace.”

“And, um, I’m a little embarrassed to admit this, but I don’t actually know where he is today.”

“To be honest, neither do I. His Highness only told me he would be going out on business and that I should look after you. It is a shame he should plan such a beautiful getaway and then not even be able to enjoy it. Honestly, I wasn’t expecting you to arrive for another week or so, too, so his business must be urgent.”

Naran just hummed, her mind instantly reeling to thoughts of another secret meeting with another potential consort. Perhaps the last time she’d pushed him away, she’d pushed him straight into another woman’s arms, one would end his loneliness without retreating.

At length, the pair reached the stables at the back of the property. Again, these weren’t anywhere near as grand as the ones back in the capital, but the horses were treated no less royally. The stalls were clean and the beasts’ eyes were bright as they perked at the presence of potential riders. Naran missed her own stallion, but she did like the look of the proud gray mare at the head of the stable, which bobbed its head almost in its own little bow.

“May I take this one?” asked the princess, and Hansol beamed his toothiest grin.

“By all means. She’s already been fed and watered, and I’m sure she’s itching for a ride.”

“Very well, show me to the saddles and let’s head out.”

After careful selection, Naran saddled her horse and packed a bow and a quiver of arrows. What her life lacked these days was focus, and there was nothing more focusing in the world to her than archery. By the time they returned to the villa, she had hopes that she would have a renewed sense of purpose.

The princess mounted her horse and waited in the courtyard for Hansol. He followed a few minutes later, looking more like a man than his usual formal servant self. He did not cut anywhere near as dashing a figure on the horse as the prince did, but all the same, Naran did not think she’d ever seen Hansol so handsome. He was bright and alert and good-natured with an openness that, at any other time, she might have pursued. He was safe. He was simple. He was exactly the kind of string-free relationship she had always wanted.

“Where would you like to go, Your Highness?” asked the valet.

“I’d like to do a bit of target practice. Is there somewhere wide and open where we can get some speed?”

“I think I know just the place.”

Hansol guided them through the gate and down the mountain as the morning ticked by quickly. The roads were narrow and unkempt, with many potholes and washed-out sections, so progress was slower than the princess was accustomed, but once things began to level out, she noticed she was still riding alone.

“When I asked you to ride with me, Hansol, I did not mean as a shadow,” Naran admonished.

“With all due respect, Your Highness, it is my job to look after you and protect you, and I can do that much better from back here.”

She was about to joke that it was probably for the best since he could never keep up, but then she heard her husband in her head.

That is our thing.

The princess stuffed away the jibe, and as she did, a bolt of epiphany struck her. If this was how the prince endured every trip or excursion or ride his entire life, it was no wonder he felt so alone. Even surrounded by those closest to him, everyone was out of reach. Hyungwon did not have a Saran to tease and chase and confide in. He did not have a Jigme to encourage and embrace and debate. Even his would-be Magda kept him at arm’s length. Naran was comfortable on her own because she knew she could always return home to them when she needed them.

The prince only had his princess.

This is so much worse…

Naran’s palms were throbbing, and when she looked down, she realized she been wringing the reins in her grip until the leather had cut off her circulation.

“How much farther?” she called back.

Hansol gauged their surroundings and answered, “Not much, Your Grace. Maybe another ten minutes?”

Not much was a relative term, it seemed. If it was a mere ten minutes, it felt like a lifetime, but at last, they arrived at a long stretch of meadow along the river winding through the foothills. The valet wasn’t keen that they were so close to the main road that ran parallel, but Naran assured him that at least this way, they could see anyone coming. With a clear line of sight and a bow in her hand, that was one thing about which the princess never had to second-guess herself.

The grasses were still bright green here and lush from the river access, and thanks to the sturdy winds that funneled through the canyon, it kept the hoppers and flies low to the grass line. Nothing worse than a bug in the mouth when trying to square up a shot, the princess mused with a wry smile. This would do nicely enough.

Naran had Hansol select a few targets at random—fallen logs, knots in trees, and her personal favorite, a hole in an overturned old boat—and, once she’d memorized them, she did a few test runs back and forth across the meadow. There was nothing quite like the muffled clop of hooves in grass, and with the wind in her face and her eyes closed, she could almost believe she was back in Moghulikhan. The only thing she needed was her eagle on her arm.

Once Naran had leaned completely into her muscle memory, she drove her horse forward. Her bow string was pulled taut, the arrow already nocked. The first target came up quickly—a termite hole in an old tree—and she released the arrow. It just missed the hole, plunging instead into the fragile wood surrounding, but she didn’t have time to berate herself. The next target was upon her.

This time when she loosed the arrow, it flew true, right into the heart of the rotting log near the riverbank. Dimly, she heard Hansol applauding, but he stopped abruptly a second later when her next arrow plunged into the old boat to his left. She almost missed that one as well, the arrowhead clattering against the lip of the hole to send it ping-ponging into the shadows beneath the hull, but with practice, she made the next two, and when she came upon the last target—an amputated tree limb still dangling from its mother tree—Naran sank the shot confidently.

“Very well done, Your Grace!” championed Hansol as he jogged over to grab the reins.

Naran leapt down from the saddle and wiped the sweat from her brow as she doubled-over, hands on her knees.

“Are you all right?”

“Indeed. It has just been a while since I have been able to practice my archery. I fear I am rustier than I thought.”

“I have never seen a lady wield a weapon before, let alone so skillfully. I should be afraid to see you well-practiced. No wonder you were not concerned with bandits.”

Naran exhaled slowly as she stood back up on sore legs. “Ah, well, I suppose since I don't know when we will return to the palace, at least I may have plenty of time for practice.”

“They shall have to enlist you in your own Royal Guard,” Hansol joked. “Shall you ride again, Your Highness?”

“My horse needs water first,” she said as she grabbed the reins. “How about we walk to the river?”

Hansol agreed, and together, they wandered along the shoreline until they found a gently sloping bank from which the animals could drink. The princess’s ankle panged from squeezing the horse’s side for so long, but when she dipped her finger in the water, she found it far too icy to soak. Tomorrow, she would have to see about another trip to the hot springs.

With a pleasant sort of emptiness easing her soul, Naran crouched at the shoreline and stared out across the ravine. The river was as stunning as Hyungwon had painted it in her mind. Though it was late in the season, the light still frolicked across its back in white-gold flashes like a swarm of mischievous nymphs. The current shush-shush-shushed along the banks with the consistent rhythm of a metronome while a stick spun in a nearby eddy, hypnotic and languid.

It was so simple here, so peaceful, a balm to Naran’s weary heart. But one thought stormed through her mind with the destructive force of an army.

Hyungwon wanted to show me this.

The pang from her ankle was now in her chest as she considered the man she was here with instead. Hansol did not say much beside her. He observed their horses dutifully, as stalwart a servant as there ever was one.

“You are a very good sort of man, Hansol,” the princess said suddenly, and he straightened to full attention immediately.

“I live to be of service, Your Grace,” he said though he could not help his twitch of a proud smile.

“I’m not talking about your work,” Naran clarified. “I mean to say that you are a good man besides your position.”

The valet looked dumbfounded and most definitely embarrassed. “Th-thank you, Your Highness.”

“Is there a lady in your life?”

This question shocked him even further. It took him a moment to answer almost as though he had to translate it into another language, though he was fluent in both Goryeon and English. “There is not, Your Grace.”

“We keep you too busy, I suppose?”

“It’s not that…” he said gently.

“Do you get lonely, Hansol?” It was more a rhetorical question, Naran supposed. She wasn’t even sure exactly why she was asking it. No doubt, it crossed some lines, but her own desperate feelings seemed to be slipping the iron bonds of her usual self-control.

For his part, the man quietly considered her question. His lips pressed together as firmly as a seal on a vault, but when the princess did not change the subject, his duty to answer outweighed his reticence.

“Yes, sometimes. It is hard to make friends when you are the personal valet to a royal officer. His Grace is a very kind master though, as are you, Your Highness. If I may be so bold, our empire is much brighter since you became a part of it.”

Hansol’s words were very pretty and sincerely meant, but Naran felt a disconnect. In this unspoiled moment, she had everything she had ever wanted. She was independent. She was free of her royal tethers. She was in a real-life landscape painting with a handsome man at her side. She could take off in any direction if the whim struck her, and no one would be able to catch her.

And none of it felt like what she truly wanted.

“Do you like me, Hansol?”

The princess’s words were barely louder than the river current, but they seemed to echo in the canyon.

Again, the servant looked surprised, but he remained amiable as always. “Of course, Your Highness.”

“No, I mean, do you find me beautiful?”

“Of course, Your Highness,” he continued in his persistently servile tone.

Naran groaned. “I’m being serious, Hansol. You need not speak as a servant here, but as a man, and no matter what, I will not hold your answer against you. I just need to hear it? I can’t explain why.”

His eyes drifted up the princess’s frame until they met hers. This time, there was no trace of formality in his voice, and his tone had a much harder edge to it than the princess had ever experienced from him. “You are one of the most beautiful women I have ever seen.”

His praise did not make Naran feel as she thought it would—in fact, it did not make her feel much of anything at all except a flash of shame.

“Say my name,” she blurted then.

Hansol gaped at her. “What?”

“I want you to speak not my title but my name. Do you know it?”

“I—yes, Your Highness.”

“You will not get in trouble, I swear to it.”

He gaped at her as though he was already surrounded by a dozen guards all waiting for him to dare to cross such an important royal line, but the princess could not back down. She gazed at him pleadingly, and, finally, Hansol wet his lips.

Color rushed up his neck and face, and though he could not look in her eyes as he said it, he whispered shakily, “Naran…”

This time, the only thing she felt was how very wrong her name sounded on someone else’s lips. Before, when others she trusted said it, it was pleasant or comforting, yet now, somehow, it felt like it didn’t belong to her anymore. It had become a precious thing, locked away, and only very few people held the key.

Swiftly, her mind flipped the page to another name, and just as strangely, this one felt like it belonged to her.

Hyungwon.

All Naran could think about now was that the prince was out there somewhere all alone, and she needed to get back to him as soon as she could. What if he’d come back to the villa and she wasn’t there? It wasn’t right. An overwhelming sort of panic surged through her veins.

“We must go back to the villa at once,” the princess said as she whipped back toward her horse.

“I—” stuttered a frantic Hansol. A moment later, he was bent in half for a bow as he practically shouted, “Your Highness, please forgive me.”

His words rang through the mountains, and Naran was furious with herself for making the man suffer so.

“Hansol, please. Please rise,” she said. Slowly, the valet rose, terror etched in his face, and once she caught his gaze, she bowed to him. His eyes widened further as he took in the princess lowering to a servant. “I’m sorry to have unnerved you. It was my mistake, and I should not have imposed upon you like that. You have absolutely nothing to apologize for. We need never speak of this again, for it is already forgotten so long as you can forgive me.”

“Of course, Your Highness,” he said with his hand over his heart, and things felt in their order again. “But is everything all right then if we must hurry from here?”

“I can’t explain it, but we must get back as soon as we can. I need to be there.”

Hansol looked to the well-watered horses and nodded. “Then there is no better timing. We can head straight back.”

Gratefully, Naran mounted her horse as the valet did his, and they headed back to the road at a sturdy gallop. Things felt so much longer on the ride back. Every second the princess remained away intensified the sickly dread inside, that if she didn’t beat her husband back, something might break that could never be repaired. The longer everything took up the mountain, the deeper the putrescent claws dug into her gut. Her horse was doing all the work, but Naran was the one who felt like gasping for air through teary eyes.

They made it back to the villa by early afternoon, and when she found that the prince had not yet returned, her relief almost immediately transformed into worry. Because she didn’t know where he had gone, she also didn’t know when he’d be back, which meant she didn’t know if something worse had happened. Hansol did not seem concerned as of yet, but she wondered if the servant’s well-trained expression belied how he also felt as he worked the yard in front of the staff house. Still, she’d asked too much of him today to further upset him, so she kept her anxieties mostly to herself. She could not, however, conceal her pacing.

All evening, Naran waited in the courtyard, zipping back and forth until her ankle had begun to throb, but she couldn’t risk leaving. At some point, one of the servants had brought her some food, and though she ate to keep from feeling hunger nerves, she had no appetite.

At last, as twilight blackened the forest canopy, the gates opened, and Naran straightened her robe and unwound the tie in her hair to feather her tresses over her shoulders. In rode Hyungwon on the back of a white horse, looking every bit the great lord he was. She rocked on her heels at the edge of the courtyard, but if the prince saw her, he made no acknowledgement.

Once he’d handed off his horse to Hansol, the prince headed straight for the men’s quarters, and the princess hissed. By now, her ankle felt almost twice its size, and running felt impossible though she forced it anyway. She couldn’t risk another lockout.

“My prince!” she shouted as she shuffled behind him. “My prince! Ah!”

Naran wobbled and caught the wall to stabilize herself, but at least it grabbed Hyungwon’s attention. He turned at last to face her with a look of bewilderment and maybe, she hoped, concern on his face.

“What are you doing out here, Princess? Your face is flushed, and you look ill. You should go back to your room and lie down.”

She shook her head. “I can’t. I need to speak with you.”

The prince stared at her, his elegant face completely blank.

“I did not see you come back with an escort,” she blurted.

Hyungwon was just as blunt in his answer. “That would be because I did not take one.”

“What do you mean riding about without a guard?” Naran scolded. “If there are bandits in the northern mountains, surely, there must be some here. You could have been hurt! Where did you have to go that was so important that you would risk your safety?”

“I know these mountains very well, Princess. I’ve been playing in them my whole life,” he assured as he breezed past her toward his room.

“Wait a minute!” she protested as she stumbled after his strong gait. “I was worried! You were gone so long and then you came back alone, and yet you still tell me nothing. Can you not at least tell me where you went?”

“Away.”

The lone word bit into her heart like a cobra.

Naran blinked, stunned, and it took her a moment to collect herself. “That’s hardly an answer, sir. If you were just going on a ride, I could have joined you.”

At this, Hyungwon pulled up to a sudden stop, his back straight as an arrow. He did not look back at her as he said, “Then that would have defeated the point.”

“Which is?”

But he did not answer nor did he turn to her.

Naran stumbled along the wall, out of breath and in pain as she worked hard to stay close to her husband. Her hand clutched her chest as she steadied her breath. “Will you do this again tomorrow?”

“Perhaps.”

“And the day after? And the day after?”

“I can’t answer that.”

They reached the prince’s room then, and he blew inside, his hanbok snapping behind him. Hyungwon did not close the door in her face though it felt like he had, and Naran slumped against the frame. He lit a candle, and the butterscotch flame warmed the shadows. His room looked nearly identical to hers—definitely more upscale than the others in the wing yet still cozy and humble but, most of all, intimate. It was so inviting, yet she could feel invisible hands trying to shove her from it.

“I don’t want to play the stud horse tonight, Princess,” griped the prince as he tossed his belt across the room.

“I’m not here about heirs.” Naran could feel the tremor in her throat that always preceded her tears, and when her voice escaped again, it was a near whimper. “Why did you make me come here if you were just going to leave me all alone?”

Hyungwon turned then, and his face was as cold as the moon yet just as luminous. “It’s what you wanted. And I did not leave you alone. Hansol is here. Did he not keep you company today?”

“We went out for a ride, yes.”

“I’m glad he was here to look after you then,” the prince said stiffly.

“He told me you arranged it,” she ventured, and at once, a look of frustration crossed her husband’s face.

“That disobedient—”

“Don’t be cross with him, please? He only wanted to give you credit for your consideration of me.”

Hyungwon sighed and deflated all at once. “As the lady wishes.”

“Why would you do that?” Naran whispered. “Why would you push Hansol and I together?”

“You said you were comfortable with him.”

“I am. He’s a loyal friend, and I value him. That’s all, my prince, I swear it, yet you keep insinuating I like him as more than that. Why?”

Hyungwon held his breath, his chest high and tight as he looked far, far away from her. Softly, he said, “Because if I have to lose you to anybody, it may as well be someone I trust.”

Naran took a step into his room. Then, another and another. She closed the door behind her, and at its soft swish into place, her husband looked to her at last. This time when their eyes met, she felt it—the thing she’d been missing in the meadow today, the very same thing she’d been missing with everyone else since she’d arrived in Goryeo.

Naran felt a connection.

“I don’t want to lose you at all,” she confessed.

“You can’t just say things like that and expect me to take them seriously, Naran. You’re hot, you’re cold. You like me, you never want to see me again. I can’t trust anything you say to me.”

“That was before.”

“Before what? Before Champa? Before you had another reason to never forgive me for this marriage?”

“I know I said that, but something’s changed. I’ve changed.”

Hyungwon rolled his eyes. “One trip to some hot springs doesn’t change a heart bound and determined to turn against another.”

Naran hung her head. Her throat felt like it was closing up. Panic spiked her heart and flooded her mind as everything fell apart around her.

“I hate how much my fear and resentment has hurt you, but I’m not bitter anymore,” she said, “and I’m not scared of anything but being without you. I know my heart now, and it’s open if you’ll have it.”

“Until someone else fills it…” grumbled Hyungwon.

“My prince—”

“You cut me, Naran. You cut me to the bone. I’m hemorrhaging beside you, and still, I try to hide the bloodshed so I don’t look more pathetic in your eyes than I already do.”

He swallowed hard and took a step toward her.

“If you ever risked getting close enough, you would see the way my heart beats for you,” he continued raggedly. Hyungwon yanked aside the collar of his hanbok and bared his throat. He tapped the side of his neck and snarled, “See? Pathetic.”

There, Naran could see it plain even in the candlelight—the throb of pale flesh above the red river of longing coursing through him.

She kissed him there suddenly. His skin was hot and peppered with salt. It was intoxicating, so she placed a second kiss beside her first and then several more to trace the wake of her destruction all the way to his mouth.

Hyungwon stared at her tawny lips, transfixed. His own were throbbing, too, as they flushed fuller than she’d ever seen on any man. Under her scrutiny, they quivered and then blotted themselves against each other as the pale fled from the fresh deluge of rose that flooded them now.

Her eyes flicked to his.

Another breath.

Two.

“Hyungwon,” she murmured.

His lips parted in surprise. Naran molded her body to his, and on reflex, his hands rested at her hips, feather light and ready to flee at her slightest flinch.

But, this time, the princess held fast to her prince.

“Kiss me.”

In a split second, the space between them evaporated. Frantically, her husband’s fists knotted in the folds of her silks as he crushed her hips to his, but as their gazes entwined, his fingers unwound to knead tenderly at her back.

Hyungwon’s face loomed over hers, his features dark except for the brightness of his eyes. In a voice trembling with barely restrained hope, he begged, “Don’t leave me.”

“Don’t let me go,” she returned, and then Naran pushed up on her toes and brushed her mouth over his.

Hyungwon went rigid, almost as though he assumed the whole thing was a mistake or a mirage, so Naran pressed more urgently against him. She bathed his lips in little kisses, every corner, every swell, every recess. It was only when her tongue risked a taste of that caramel freckle on his bottom lip that the prince roared to life.

He kissed her fiercely, the kind of kiss that made her feel like kindling at the mercy of the first strike of a match. One hand wound her long hair twice around his fist. He tugged once, and needles of pleasure and pain pricked along her scalp.

“Say it again,” he commanded.

Even if he hadn’t asked, his name would have come tumbling from her lips, for Naran could never hold it back again.

“Hyungwon…”

This time, his lips clashed with hers as he drove them back, back, back until she slammed into the wall with an “oomph” devoured by his mouth. Something clattered to the floor beside them.

“I dream of you,” he rasped into her ear as he rocked his strengthening hardness against her thigh. “Every night. How do I know I’m not dreaming now?”

He placed a kiss under the overhang of her jaw as his breath fanned fire across her skin, and her nails scratched across his scalp in hopes that if he felt her, he would believe her.

“I’m here, Hyungwon. I’m with you.”

“Ah,” he groaned as his brow, then his eyes, met hers, “that’s doing such funny things to my head. It sounds so good on your lips. It’s all I’ve ever wanted. You, Naran. You’re all I’ve wanted. Every day. Always.”

The princess brought her hands up to frame her husband’s face. She stroked the tender skin at his cheeks and smiled. “I want you, too, Hyungwon.”

A snarl curled those beautiful lips, and the hands at her back shifted to the back of her thighs as he lifted her up and pinioned her against the wall. Naran’s legs wrapped around him as another reminder that this wasn’t a dream, and yet, they held on to one another like it was. While she had a stranglehold around his waist, his body ground almost painfully against hers, so hard that the wall creaked behind them. Even being this close did not feel close enough. There wasn’t a swath of skin her hands didn’t paw, not a feature of his body her eyes didn’t commit to memory. She needed all of him as quickly as she could have him. Soft could come later. For now, they were desperate for one another.

Their mouths still connected, they exchanged heavy breaths as their desire ramped up exponentially. His tongue grazed hers, and sparks showered behind her eyes. Her fingers raked through his hair as her own tongue risked a taste of his mouth next. Naran was unprepared for the way her husband’s moan vibrated through their new intimate connection, and it made her aware of just how empty other parts of her were now.

“Hyungwon, I—ah, I need you right now.”

His grunt was the only warning she got. It was a quick pivot from the wall to his bed, and the next thing Naran knew, she’d been dropped on it.

“Everything off this time,” he ordered. “I want to see all of you.”

Thanks to the humble country wardrobe, the princess shed her clothes in record time, and as she laid there prone and totally bare, she was treated to the sight of Hyungwon removing the last barrier between them. He whisked his undershirt over his head, and time seemed to stop. This was different than seeing his body at the hot springs. There, they still had pretenses between them, but no longer. This time, when Naran took in her husband’s body, she saw it as hers.

Knotted shoulders supported sturdy biceps and veiny forearms. His chest was smooth and taut where it transitioned into sinewy abs and, finally, robust thighs she had the urge to bite. Beautiful as Hyungwon was, it was hard to look at anything other than his rigid manhood as he slowly stroked himself to the sight of his wife splayed for him on his bed.

Naran sat up on her elbows as she watched him keenly, borderline hypnotized by the way his tip glistened in the candlelight. She wet her lips and forced her eyes up to his.

“Please, Hyungwon, fill me.”

“Open your legs all the way, darling,” he asked.

Her knees parted eagerly to expose her center, and the prince sighed.

“So pretty…”

He was frozen in his admiration of her, so Naran took hold of his manhood and led him to her core. A drunken smile painted across the prince’s face as he watched his wife nestle his cockhead in her greedy entrance.

They looked up at the same time. Their eyes locked and then their lips. As Hyungwon’s tongue pushed into her mouth, his shaft pushed into her heat, and they sucked in each other’s blissful sighs.

Naran drove both hands into her husband’s hair and fastened him to her as she kissed him through his first shallow thrusts. Every time with him had been something new and special, but this was altogether different. It wasn’t just their bodies that had joined but their hearts. She felt so much more than the acute ripples of euphoria in her veins. She felt cherished, worshipped—special.

“Oh, Hyungwon…” Naran whined as her head tipped back. Her mouth hung open, spilling incoherent nonsense with every stroke as one hand gripped her shoulder to still her against his every eager penetration.

Her husband’s voice was thick and gravelly, drenched in sin as he confessed, “I missed this. I missed you, darling. I missed the way you take me just like this. So right.”

“So… right…” Naran huffed between thrusts.

“I could do this all night.”

“Mmm,” she purred as words became harder and harder to form.

“But you want to come undone for me, don’t you, my darling?”

“Yes Hyungwon, yes!”

“Why?” he pressed, and all of a sudden, his hips stilled as his arms wrapped around her sagging shoulders.

Naran’s eyes opened at once, her wild gaze trained solely on the prince. Her panicked voice cut the thick air. “You stopped! Don’t stop, please!”

She clawed at his biceps as she tried to jerk her hips to meet his instead, but she had no leverage—Hyungwon saw to that. She was helpless in her husband’s arms.

“Tell me why I should give in to you again, Naran.”

The princess whined as her core begged, and even though she felt his manhood twitching anxiously within her, the prince was resolute.

She found what was left of her voice to answer, “Because I want only you, Hyungwon. I need only you!”

With a ragged exhale, he kissed her briefly before taking her bottom lip between his teeth to suckle it. He drove faster into her fluttering walls then, and Naran’s hand braced once more against the bed to keep upright. Gluttonous moans heralded the first inklings of the princess’s downfall, which prompted the prince’s thumb to her stiffening pearl. Her every nerve responded to his will. It was laughable how little control she had over anything when it came to her husband, let alone her own body. It was his. She was his. How could she have ever convinced herself otherwise?

Every thrust stirred something in the depths of her belly that threatened to be so cataclysmic that it scared her, but even if she wanted to run from such a powerful ending, she couldn’t. With his hand at the back of her neck, Hyungwon pushed in so deeply their foreheads touched. Hot, racing breaths collided in a supernova of passion that showered like stardust over her sweaty skin. There were words on their lips, but their mouths were too slack from panting to form them, so their eyes spoke instead.

Want you.

Need you.

Let go.

Naran shook from head to toe as her release hurtled through her. Her eyes winched so tightly shut that she saw white. When everything unclenched, she collapsed to the bed, and her husband followed on top of her. Hyungwon engulfed her with his lanky frame though she was still too foggy-headed from her climax to see him clearly.

His hands clasped her face as his chest flattened against hers in a sticky kiss. He kept his thrusts shallow and slow, but it was just as the princess needed. She was overwhelmed by him already, especially the pendulous way he brushed his lips across hers in between each tangle of their tongues. It was as if he feared once he pulled away, he might never get the chance to kiss her again, but Naran would never let that happen now. She was too addicted, too hopeless.

Gradually, sensation came back to her body, starting with the intense shiver of her overstimulated core around Hyungwon’s member. He sighed against her neck, kissed her, and then marked her fresh. Naran whimpered as everything within her felt the need to pull back from another relentless onslaught of pleasure. When her squirming got the best of her usually patient husband, his hands cuffed her wrists above her head as his lips captured hers.

“Going somewhere?” he teased between kisses.

“Feels too good. I can’t take it.”

“Of course you can, princess.”

Her hands jerked in his grip, but Hyungwon held firm. His mouth remained tender just as his strokes remained fluid. His consumption of her was so sweet and sensual that Naran felt a tear escape down her cheek, but her husband didn’t seem to notice. His lips were too busy bathing her jaw and neck and mouth in more kisses.

“Why did I ever think I could share you?” he murmured. “I can't. I'm too greedy. Be mine. Only be mine. Don’t look at anyone else the way you look at me. Let only me inside you. Crave only my love.”

“Yes, I’m yours,” Naran moaned out. “Only yours, Hyungwon. Only want me, too.”

“I do,” he whispered, “I do.”

The prince savored his wife's walls with languid thrusts that left no part of her unexplored. Whenever she would jolt or arch, he would make note of it and return the very next stroke with dutiful intention. Slowly but surely though, he was falling apart.

Naran knew her husband’s tells now. It wasn’t just the way his pace quickened or his grip tightened. It was the way his voice rasped a little higher and a little more ragged, the seductive song of a desperate man. Hyungwon's needs stoked hers, and the sweatier their bodies became, the easier it was to slip his bonds and wrap him up in her own restraints.

The princess clung to him, his face in her hands and her knees clasping his waist before her ankles locked into the small of his back. Naran kissed him sloppily now, unfocused and far too breathy to convey any emotion other than lust, but she couldn't bear any part of her not touching him.

Still, primal urges outweighed the need for extra intimacy, and Hyungwon pressed her thighs flat against the mattress so he had unrestricted access to rut into her. He thrust animalistically now, the friction sending her head digging back into the mattress while a silent scream ripped from her chest when his cock shifted just right inside of her heat.

His arms gave out with the effort, his body crashing against her as he grunted and whined. Even more enticingly, his lips had found a home at her ear, so his pathetic whimpering came through with mesmerizing clarity. Naran didn’t think she’d ever again hear a sound so beautiful.

As if to prove her wrong, a second later, Hyungwon unleashed into her walls with a hiccuping sob of pleasure that brought gooseflesh to the princess’s skin. He wrapped her in his arms and buried his face in her throat as he poured his essence into her with emphatic thumps of his hips against hers, each one alluring in its waning desperation to fill her to her brim. Her hand gripped his sweaty hair and crushed his face to her neck as she lost control of her body. Drowned in her husband, Naran followed his climax with a shuddering one of her own that milked him of the last of his strength.

Minutes passed. Hyungwon deflated completely atop her, his body smothering her though it was welcome. With nothing left inside her now but her husband’s cock and the rawest emotions, the princess hummed.

“I’m so happy right now,” the prince whispered. If his mouth hadn’t been by her ear, she might not have heard him.

Naran answered him with a soothing, idle scratch of his back as she breathed a newer, somehow sweeter air.

They laid like that for some time, sticky and glued to one another since both were too reluctant to let go. Eventually, Hyungwon kissed her cheek.

“Did I make you feel good, princess?” he asked.

“You made me feel beautiful,” Naran mewled as he suddenly pushed in, and though his length was softening now, it felt deeper than she’d ever had him. She scraped little hills down his back, but he stayed there, secured to her so intimately that it plumbed shimmering beads from the depths of her heart down her cheeks.

Hyungwon lifted at last and dried her tears with his thumbs. “You are beautiful. There is no one more beautiful, my Naran. There never will be.”

This time when she heard such words, it was like she felt everything the world had to offer all at once. It was overpowering yet perfect. She had so many things she wanted to say, but they were gummed up within her. Even when she tried to force them out, all that came was a tragic, empty puff of breath, but instead of beating herself up for it, she forgave herself. There was time enough to put a label to the cocktail of intense feelings that swirled within her. For now, the princess cupped her husband’s face and guided his gaze to hers. His cheeks filled her hands, round and warm and soft as fresh dough, and her thumbs were only too happy to stroke their breadth.

Hyungwon looked at her so adoringly that something in the princess’s chest twisted. He pecked the tip of her nose then before he lowered his mouth back to hers and kissed her with just a little brush of his tongue for reassurance. This kiss wasn’t about urgent passion anymore but about uniting two otherwise lost souls.

When the prince pulled out at last, the couple unleashed guttural groans in tandem, Naran’s growing more intense as the rush of Hyungwon’s arousal forced her legs to clamp shut. He was quick to grab the first piece of clothing on the floor and mop it up as she murmured a thank you. When he was done, he tucked a pillow under her head, covered them with a blanket, and settled back in beside her.

Naran laid there looking up, her hands stacked over her heart as her whole body floated. She felt lighter than air, but so, too, was there a heavy lump in her chest, not bitter cold like iron but brilliant and conductive like pure gold. She was incandescent. She was happy. Tears slipped once more from the corners of her eyes and splattered on her pillow. She wasn’t even sure where they were coming from considering the only thing she could feel right now was joy, but she also couldn’t stop them.

She thought of Saran then, how the girl had worried about ending up with someone who could not kiss with passion or skill, and Naran understood how wise her sister could truly be. In Hyungwon’s kiss, there was desire, there was desperation. In Hyungwon’s kiss, there was their entire future.

“What are you thinking about?” he asked suddenly.

“My sister,” the princess laughed sheepishly.

Hyungwon rolled onto his side and propped his head on his arm so he could gape at her. “Really? After all that, you’re thinking of your sister?”

Naran laughed again. “Just that she tried to tell me to trust my feelings for you, and I brushed it aside figuring it for a foolish girl’s teenage fantasy, but that girl is perhaps much cleverer than I. She will make one hell of a mighty queen one day.”

The prince hummed with an odd little smile on his face. “I knew I loved Saran for a reason. She has always been on my side.”

“That she has.”

“I shall write her a very long thank you one of these days.”

“We have all the free time in the world at the moment, you know.”

“So you think.” It was her husband’s turn to laugh. “I shall be keeping you very busy this week.”

A smile slowly lit up Naran’s face as she eyed the naked man next to her. “Is that so?”

“It is very so.”

The princess exhaled contentedly and flopped over so she could drape an arm across Hyungwon’s waist and tuck her head onto his shoulder. She skated her fingers along his skin while he returned the favor, each one teasing prickles from the other.

“Thank you,” Naran said suddenly, and Hyungwon’s hand stilled on her back.

“For what?”

“For bringing us here.”

The subtle warmth of his hand penetrated her back straight to her heart. She felt his cheek on the crown of her head while the boom of his heart echoed strongly under her ear.

“You asked me once if I would sing for you,” Hyungwon started slowly.

“Mm,” she murmured, “yes. Something you wrote.”

“I—”

Naran felt his chest flare with a captured breath, and she opened her eyes to peer up at him. The prince was staring at the ceiling, his eyes sweeping the darkness for something—permission, maybe, or courage. When at last he exhaled, his whole body seemed to sink into the mattress.

“I wrote something for you today.”

“Is that where you went?”

Hyungwon nodded. “I’ve been upside-down since we left Namgyeong, and I thought if I pushed you away, I could get my feet back under me, but after yesterday—after spending that time with you at the hot springs—I was coming undone all over again. Writing helps me make sense of things, so I went to the river and put words to the page, but I wonder if I should share it now. I don’t think I ever intended you to hear it.”

“Of course, I want to hear it,” she insisted.

“I fear it might make you uncomfortable.”

“Hyungwon?” said Naran firmly. “I want to hear it, no matter what. No more keeping things from each other. Please?”

She hugged him tighter as she propped her chin against his chest to give him her keen attention. Her husband ran a big hand through her hair, and with a spasm in her heart as she read his shifting gaze, she felt all his vulnerability.

“Please share it with me,” she urged.

“Very well.”

Hyungwon settled back into his pillow, but his tenacious grip around her belied his calm appearance. He cleared his throat, hummed a little to find his range, and Naran felt her body rise as he filled his lungs with breath.

His gravelly voice cascaded over her, torrid and throaty and strained with visceral emotion.

When her husband had finished, Naran realized she was crying in earnest through embarrassing sniffles. Fat tears puddled on his chest, and she hurried to wipe them away as she mumbled apology after apology.

“Misty night

The half-clouded breath fills my lungs and

I'm still alone

Our breathing dims more and more

I uncontrol it every day

I cross this crimson-tinged river

I change my clothes, my hair, my face, my name

I'm begging you for mercy

Please let me out of this place

Mercy

At the end of darkness, I pray

I want your mercy.”

Hyungwon grabbed her hand and tugged enough to draw her attention back to his face. “Don’t cry, little star.”

“How can I not? The way I’ve made you feel— I’m so ashamed, and I’m so sorry. After all you’ve done to show yourself to me—”

But as he interlaced their fingers, he shook his head emphatically. “I could have just told you, too, instead of leaving you to interpret me.”

“I wouldn’t have believed you anyway. I wasn’t ready to. Please forgive me.”

“I’ll forgive you if you forgive me, and that way, we can start our marriage as it should have rightfully started.”

Naran sniffled again as she caught her breath once more. “No more contracts?”

“I never want to hear the word ever again,” Hyungwon said disdainfully.

They exchanged smiles and another soft kiss, which was a silent contract of its own, though neither wanted to point that out. Instead, Naran settled back against his chest and let her eyes shutter.

Hyungwon hummed as his hands resumed caressing her back. “You asked me once what I desire. Do you remember?”

In an instant, the princess was warped back to the gardens at Sygnak where she had stood beside her soon-to-be-husband though her heart had been leagues away.

“I do. You told me you wanted peace.”

“This, yes. Exactly this. You are my peace, little star. It's what I feel here,” he said taking her hand and putting it over his heart, “when I'm with you. So if you don’t mind, I’d like to stay with you. Always.”

“Always…”

Hyungwon pulled back so he could study her face. He stroked his thumb over her eyebrow, and Naran melted into his caress.

“So, what is it you want, my darling?”

The princess felt her eyes growing misty again as her answer welled in her chest. “I want to deserve you.”

Hyungwon looked at her, stunned. “What are you talking about? Of course you do.”

“I don’t know,” the princess mumbled, feeling shyer than ever. “I just— I’ve hurt you so—”

He kissed her then, this time with a soul-shifting thoroughness that left her feeling more naked than she already was, but when he came up for air, he draped his body over hers in a possessive cuddle that made her feel like she was swaddled in a dozen blankets. He was so warm and encompassing and present that the last of her worries faded away.

“I don’t care about any of that anymore. It was all worth it because we deserve one another,” he said with finality.

Naran had nothing more to say, she was so overcome. Instead, she pushed up, and though his lips puckered in anticipation, she kissed his eyelids and then the corner of his eyes, too, before nuzzling her cheek against his.

“So you’re staying tonight?” asked Hyungwon.

“Mm-hm,” she answered. “I’d rather not be apart from you either.”

“I can't promise I'll keep my hands to myself all night.”

“I hope you don't,” she returned with a lip bite.

“Hey,” Hyungwon chided as he used his thumb to pry it free from her teeth. “That’s my lip. I’m the only one allowed to bite it.”

Sparing but a few moments to freshen up for bed, they were back in each other’s arms under the blankets as the autumn chill pressed in through the villa walls. The prince’s body conformed to the princess’s like a royal seal. She felt the tickle of his fingers over her belly as he drew her deeper into his embrace so their bare skin melded together warm and inviting while their eyelids drooped. With her last conscious thought, Naran realized that, for all her relentless running, she’d ended up exactly where she was always meant to be.

A/N: In all honesty, I would sell what’s left of my soul to hear Hyungwon sing “Mercy” to me in his bed, that way I’d have a taste of heaven before I went straight to hell lol. Final full chap bursting with delicious denouement next week, beloveds. <3

#monsta x smut #multichapter #hyungwon smut #royal au #arranged marriage #romance #slow burn #bodice ripper #prisoner to temptation

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hxtwasabi · 1 year

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How Can I Not Love You - Príncipe Jaeun/Hyun + OC

Maria Clara na sua era estou apaixonada pelo Nam Yoonsu wjkrjkeljrk pra quem viu o Rei de Porcelana espero que gostem e pra quem não viu há spoilers, então leiam com cuidado! E, sim, minha oc é a belíssima da Arin! Boa leitura a todos!

Música-título e inspiração: How Can I Not Love You da Joy Enriquez.

Soojin acompanhava os passos da princesa Yuri enquanto a mesma se encaminha para o chá da tarde com o Rei Lee Hwi. Estava naquele lugar a tanto tempo que ficava mais lá do que sua própria casa. Casa. Desde que seu pai se foi aquele lugar se tornou tão solitário e frio, mesmo que não estivesse sozinha por boa parte do tempo. Sempre tinha a princesa e o príncipe Taeyang como seus amigos. Mas era diferente. Sua mãe morreu em seu parto e seu pai perdeu a vida numa batalha de dois anos atrás. O palácio de Changdeokgung não era só apenas a casa de verão da família real, havia também outra família real morando lá, mas, por ter apenas o príncipe como homem, era meio que desvalorizado e olhares tortos, mesmo que disfarçados, já que ninguém gostaria de fazer isso na frente da outra família real. Mas havia alguém que fazia tudo valer a pena, mas ela sabia que nunca teria ele. Além dele gostar de outra pessoa, ela era uma simples dama de companhia que teve a sorte de ser filha do antigo general chefe da nobreza. Antigamente ela não via Jaeun dessa forma, nunca nem pensou em se apaixonar por ele em um segundo de sua vida. Mas, assim que começou sua adolescência, tudo mudou. Ele chegou para falar com Vossa Alteza e assim que ele chegou no lugar sorriu para ela e ela pode sentir seu coração bater com tanta frequência que ela pensou que poderia desmaiar naquele exato momento. Como ele ficou tão bonito? E porque ele era tão educado? Deveria ser só uma paixão efêmera, certo? Era isso, devia ser isso. Afinal como que alguém em sua posição, mesmo sendo filha do ex general, poderia ter alguém como ele? Era apenas a fase da adolescência. Iria passar. Foi isso que prometeu. Mas Yuri, não só como princesa, mas também como sua amiga percebeu isso. Lembrava-se quando eram crianças e gostavam de treinar juntos, ela, Taeyang, Hwi, Jaeun e Soojin juntos, mesmo não sendo uma pessoa da realeza. Lembrava-se que ela e o Lee ficavam competindo um com o outro para apenas implicar, ela sabia que cedo ou tarde algo iria mudar. Assim que a princesa falou que ela parecia diferente ao redor do príncipe soltou um suspiro.

— Ele nunca irá saber, unnie. Eu quero que seja algo momentâneo, mas eu sei que não é, esse sentimento é forte demais para ser algo fugaz. Além dele estar interessado em outra, eu também não posso estar ao lado dele, mesmo se ele sentisse o mesmo. Eu sou apenas uma dama de companhia, eu nunca poderia chegar ao trono. Então é melhor amar em segredo.

E por mais que quisesse ajudá-la, a princesa Kim sabia que ela não estava mentindo quanto a isso. Sabia que para você ter uma alta posição você teria que ser da realeza. Mas ela era como uma irmã mais nova pra ela, mesmo sendo uma dama de companhia, e sabia que ela não era qualquer dama de companhia. Ela era uma grande guerreira graças ao treinamento de seu pai. Ela queria ajudá-la, mas estava de mãos atadas quanto a isso. Assim que chegou para tomar um chá com o Rei o cumprimentou, mas ele pediu para ela também se sentar junto. Realmente ela não era uma dama de companhia qualquer.

— Então, você tem algum príncipe em mente? — o Rei perguntou para Yuri que ficou envergonhada pela pergunta

— Ah, ainda não, mas vovó quer fazer uma seleção. Eu quero me casar por amor, não por simplesmente ter que me casar com alguém. Eu quero ter um amor de verdade — ela confessou para o Rei

— É claro. O verdadeiro amor é importante para um casamento e devemos casar com quem ama a gente. Não concorda, dama de companhia Kang? — a pergunta do rei para si fez ela arregalar seus olhos pela surpresa e o Rei sorriu de leve — Mesmo que às vezes não seja recíproco, não devemos deixar tudo isso dentro de nós. Às vezes sentimentos demais pode nos sufocar por dentro

— Eu acho que você tem razão, Vossa Majestade. Muitos sentimentos dentro de nós podem nos sufocar. Ter algo tão grande dentro de si é algo gigante e ao mesmo tempo até mesmo sofrível. Por mais que seja difícil às vezes, é melhor deixar isso ir embora — a resposta surpreendente de Soojin foi recebida com um sorriso de leve pelo Rei Hwi que assentiu na aprovação. Aquele sentimento implacável e dolorido se fazia presente. E como se não fosse melhorar logo viu o "culpado" por tudo isso se curvar e ficar parado em frente a Vossa Majestade. Sentiu seu coração bater fortemente e desviou seu olhar, mesmo sabendo que as duas pessoas ao seu lado sabiam dos seus sentimentos por ele, ainda era embaraçoso.

— Vossa Majestade, desculpa pela demora — se desculpou

— Hyun. Não há nenhum problema quanto a isso. Por favor, sente-se, estávamos falando sobre o possível futuro noivo para a Yuri aqui — o hierárquico falou

— Ah, eu tenho certeza que a Princesa escolherá muito bem e sabiamente seu futuro rei — ele respondeu enquanto a dama ficava confusa do porque ele estava lá se seria um chá com apenas eles. Será que ele tinha feito de propósito? Depois de um tempo agradeceram o Rei pelo chá e iam voltar para seu próprio palácio.

— Dama de companhia Kang, posso falar com você? — ouviu a voz do Príncipe Jaeun atrás de si e ela o olhou surpresa, mas assentiu

— Claro, Vossa Alteza — ela respondeu e assim o seguiu para um local mais afastado, assim que chegaram lá ela decidiu perguntar — O que você quer falar comigo, Príncipe Hyun?

— Príncipe Hyun? — ele soltou uma risada sem humor nenhum — Você era uma das minhas melhores amigas, você nunca foi só uma dama de companhia. O que aconteceu? Você me trata como se eu nem existisse, não conversa mais comigo, você nem me olha. Eu fiz alguma coisa? Me diz — a súplica em sua voz era perceptível e ela sentiu um aperto em seu coração com isso. Ela não podia falar que tinha se apaixonado por ele. Ele não poderia saber. Ele jamais poderia saber.

— Príncipe Jaeun, eu sinto muito. Você começou a ter mais trabalhos conforme ia crescendo e eu não queria te atrapalhar ou te incomodar — ela falou para ele

— Isso é comum, Soojin. Eu não parei de falar com Vossa Majestade só porque ele é o Rei — ele falou como se fosse óbvio

— Hyun eu também tenho um segredo e por mais que eu entenda que você está magoado eu não posso te contar, por favor — ela falou quase implorando para parar as perguntas. Seus sentimentos ainda eram muito fortes e talvez nunca consiga esquecer o príncipe, mas não queria magoá-lo e não queria se magoar

— Você realmente quer isso? — ele perguntou

— Eu sinto muito ter te ignorado ou simplesmente fingindo que você não existia, eu realmente não fiz de propósito — bem, isso não era verdade, mas ouvir aquelas palavras fez o peso da culpa se afundar em seu coração

— Então não me deixe no escuro nunca mais. Você é importante pra mim e se estiver passando por alguma coisa saiba que eu estou aqui para você, eu sempre estive — ele falou e ela assentiu com um leve sorriso. Estava se sentindo menos péssima e feliz que tinha ele de volta em sua vida. Por mais que aqueles sentimentos profundos ainda estivessem lá era bom ter ele de volta, mesmo que como amigo.

Soojin estava alheia à situação, mas Hyun observava seus traços e a forma como ela ria, nunca tinha parado para perceber na mulher que ela tinha se tornado. Ela era uma mulher bonita, sempre foi, mas era belíssima. Sua inteligência, carisma e bravura estava lá ainda. Ela realmente não era só uma dama de companhia, ela nunca foi. Por muito tempo ficou encantado pelo Rei Hwi, ou Dami, mas sabia que seu coração sempre pertenceu a Jiwoon e sempre pertencerá. Então decidiu deixá-la ir, afinal o que eles tinham era um amor verdadeiro. Então quando resolveu deixar isso ir começou a pensar em Kang Soojin, sua melhor amiga de infância e que acabou se afastando dele. Nesse tempo todo ele sentiu falta dela, ela era uma das pessoas que mais conhecia sobre ele, mas assim que foram amadurecendo ela simplesmente se afastou. Havia algo nele que dizia que era meio óbvio por ela ter se afastado, ele inclusive fez isso após contar para o Rei o que sentia, será que Soojin?... Mas antes que falasse mais alguma coisa, viu o Eunuco Hong se aproximar.

— Dama de companhia Kang alguém pediu para te entregar isso — ele disse estendendo uma caixa de madeira bonita

— Para mim? — ela perguntou ficando sem entender

— Às vezes você tem algum pretendente já que a caixa é bem cara — o Eunuco falou e ela assentiu agradecendo, apesar da vergonha por conta das palavras dele. Jaeun sentiu um desconforto quanto a isso. Bem, Soojin era bonita, é claro que isso iria acontecer alguma hora. Mas porque ele estava tão incomodado? A pedido do rei, Eunuco Hong ficou para ver o que era, já que não era comum mandarem algo para uma dama de companhia e porque a Kang era uma pessoa próxima também. Com duas mãos delicadas ela abriu a caixa para ver um grampo de cabelo rosa e dourado com adereços chiques ao redor. E quando pegou viu duas letras atrás.

— O que foi? — Jaeun perguntou vendo a expressão de confusão no rosto da mais nova

— Duas iniciais: A e N. Esse não é meu nome — ela falou fazendo os três se encararam confusos

— Srta. Kang, olha! Tem um papel ali — o Eunuco apontou e ela reparou uma carta escondida no canto

— "Suas respostas serão respondidas em breve, mas tome cuidado: algumas perguntas podem ter sérias consequências"

— Alguém está te alertando sobre alguma coisa, mas às vezes pode não ser sobre você, talvez a família real ou o palácio em si — Hyun sugeriu

— Não, alguém mandou para mim. Eu não tenho inimigos, mas meu pai era o general do antigo rei. Mas porquê respostas? — ela falou mais para si mesma

— Pode ser algo relacionado ao seu pai, sim. Eu vou informar ao Rei sobre isso, ele saberá o que fazer — o Eunuco disse e ela assentiu agradecendo e então decidiu ficar com o grampo. Precisava investigar isso.

— Soojin eu vou deixar as tropas em alerta caso alguém venha te entregar mais alguma coisa, estaremos em alerta — Jaeun disse para acalmar a garota

— Eu agradeço. Mas, primeiro de tudo, eu preciso saber quem é A.N. — ela falou

— Você não leu a carta? Você está em perigo, Soojin! Eu sei que você está confusa e com mais perguntas do que respostas, mas você não pode fazer isso sozinha — ele falou quase desesperado e ela sorriu de leve percebendo a preocupação do príncipe

— Eu sei disso, mas se for sobre o meu pai eu preciso saber, Jaeun, você sabe muito bem disso. Eu ainda desconfio sobre a morte dele — ela confessou e ele suspirou. Ela podia ser teimosa, mas tinha um ponto quanto a isso. Se fosse sobre sua família ele também iria querer saber.

— Tudo bem, mas me deixe ir junto com você. Talvez com duas pessoas seja arriscado demais, mas eu sei que eu posso te proteger — ele falou e ela assentiu, algo em seu coração se aquecendo, percebendo que ele se importava com sua segurança. Prometeram que iam se encontrar na frente do palácio. Ela contou para a princesa sobre o pedido estranho e que precisaria investigar essa noite, no qual ela disse que iria arranjar uma desculpa para a audiência dela, mas que ela poderia ir, já que parecia ser importante e temia pela dama de companhia que via como uma irmã. Ela agradeceu a princesa e foi para o seu aposento.

Depois pegou novamente o grampo que tinha guardado. Ela o observou e então logo seus olhos arregalaram e ela procurou o pergaminho que tinha guardado. E lá estava. A lenda da Princesa PyeongGang, onde uma princesa tinha se apaixonado pelo general. Quem possui esse grampo poderia ter boa sorte e fortuna na vida. O que isso tem haver com o que recebeu? Enfim, não tinha tempo para pensar nisso, por mais que fosse curioso, mas Jaeum a estava esperando no palácio. Pegou uma máscara que seu pai usava e saiu para encontrar o príncipe. Claro que ela levou sua própria espada. Afinal, uma filha de um general sabia se defender.

— Hyun — chamou o jovem príncipe

— Soojin — ele se virou a cumprimentando e se não fosse pela situação ela estaria suspirando de amores pelo garoto

— Precisamos ir para o registro do palácio e ver se tem alguém com as iniciais A.N. — ela orientou

— Então devemos ser mais espertos ainda — ele falou concordando e então fizeram seus passos até a sala de registros de nomes para descobrir o que estava acontecendo. Assim que achou a letra A, logo foi tentando achar as siglas. E então havia algo lá. Ahn Nayoung, uma garota que estava na seleção para serem candidatas as rainhas. Não iria perguntar a rainha sobre isso, afinal, que mulher gostaria que perguntassem sobre outras mulheres que competiram pelo mesmo homem?

— Ahn Nayoung era o nome dela. Ela foi candidata a seleção para a próxima rainha na época do antigo rei — ela contou para o amigo

— E o que isso tem haver com ela? — ele perguntou sem entender

— Eu também não sei, mas algo me diz que ela está viva. Temos que ir atrás dela — ela falou e ele assentiu. Quando chegaram lá fora viram guardas a postos e empunhando suas espadas a eles fazendo eles tirarem as suas também

— Vocês não deviam estar aqui — inspetor Jung falou

— Viemos procurar nome de uma pessoa: Ahn Nayoung, conheceu? — ele perguntou e percebeu o olhar do inspetor meio hesitante

— Vocês deviam sair daqui agora mesmo — ele falou e então uma luta de espadas começou, ambos lutando como se suas vidas dependessem disso, Jaeun nem ficou surpresa quanto a habilidade de guerreira dela, seu pai era um dos melhores espadachins do palácio, não é a toa que era general. Conseguiram desviar dos soldados e o inspetor Jung deixou eles irem e disse que não ia comentar sobre isso. Mas assim que Jaeun se virou percebeu que Soojin estava ajoelhada e apoiando a mão em seu abdômen, ela tinha sido ferida.

— Soojin! — ele gritou e pegou ela em seus braços — Não desmaie, por favor, fica com os olhos abertos — ele suplicou e assim que estava saindo viu o Príncipe Kim — Taeyang! — gritou o nome do príncipe que se virou e saiu correndo ao ver a garota em seus braços

— O que aconteceu? — ele perguntou

— Depois eu conto, peça um médico por favor! — ele pediu para o outro príncipe que assentiu e pediu para seu Eunuco chamar o médico real.

— Jaeum está tudo bem, eu vou ficar bem — ela falou, mas ele podia sentir o sangue em sua mão. Logo Taeyang chegou com a sua irmã e o Rei Hwi ao encalço dele. Seus olhos ficaram pesados enquanto ele segurava sua mão e ela não conseguiu ficar com eles por muito tempo e desmaiou

— Não! Não desmaie! Soojin! — ele gritou seu nome e logo o médico pediu licença para ajudá-la. Contou para eles o que tinha acontecido e por algum motivo o rei achava que seu avô, Lorde Sangheon, ainda mais quando Hyun contou que o Inspetor Jung parecia ter hesitado quando perguntaram sobre o nome da mulher. Que segredo era esse que envolvia Soojin? O médico avisou que ela tinha perdido muito sangue, então iria ser algo de emergência. Por ele não ser médico e pela cirurgia ser delicada ele precisou se afastar. Então, uma lembrança veio à sua mente.

— Eu não entendo. Porque vocês sempre me chamam para as coisas? Isso não é errado? — uma jovem adolescente Soojin perguntou. Realmente não entendia porque uma simples dama de companhia como ela era sempre chamada para os acompanhar e deixarem ela ficar

— Porque você não é só uma dama de companhia, srta. Kang. Você é nossa irmãzinha mais nova — o Rei, naquela época príncipe, falou com um sorriso em seus lábios

— Você sempre será especial para nós, Soojin. Você não é só uma empregada da família real, como disse Vossa Alteza, você é como se fosse um membro da nossa família — Jaeun falou colocando uma mão em cima da sua e quando seus olhos se encontraram com ele seu coração parecia bater forte e também se sentia leve pela palavra de ambos

— Exatamente. Você não é só a filha do general Kang, você é a alma desse grupo, Soojin, sempre será — Yuri falou para sua dama de companhia também com um sorriso

Bem, algo veio à sua mente: nunca que Lorde Sangheon iria atacar alguém sem algum motivo, ainda mais se tratando de uma dama de companhia. Para ele a vida das pessoas era insignificante, mas para o inspetor Jung hesitar ao ouvir aquele nome e os soldados quase matar eles por conta disso. Assim foi até onde o Rei estava com Yuri e Taeyang para compartilhar as informações que havia prometido que iria falar. E até mesmo a Rainha do segundo palácio parecia incentivar ela a falar com os outros da nobreza. Seus olhos se arregalaram, se ela era alguém da nobreza, então seria um risco, ainda mais com o chefe de estado no palácio.

— A mamãe participou da seleção da futura rainha da época, ela pode saber de algo sobre essa tal Nayoung — a princesa de Changdeokgung falou sua ideia

— Você não precisa ir tão longe, querida — uma voz familiar falou-se e a rainha mãe, avó do Rei e dos príncipes Jaeun e Wonsan, entrou no local — Ahn Nayoung é o nome de solteira da sua mãe — ela revelou sorrindo de leve

— Tá bom. Mas porque mandaram um grampo de cabelo para a Soo com esse nome se era da mamãe? — Taeyang falou sem entender

— Eu queria que ela finalmente soubesse a verdade que apenas eu, a Rainha Jooyoung e a dama de companhia Lee compartilhamos. Mas eu creio que alguém contou para o Lorde Sangheon — a mais velha revelou e então o Rei juntou as peças do quebra-cabeça. As coisas no palácio já estavam agitadas esses dias e mais isso para abalar a realeza.

— Dama de companhia Kang é filha da Rainha de Changdeokgung — ele falou e todo mundo parecia chocado naquele momento

— O rei Choi nunca iria aceitar uma filha bastarda e adivinha quem o orientava naquela época? — Rainha Mãe falou

— Meu avô — o Rei falou entredentes

— Mas quem ficou sabendo disso? O general Kang tem algum familiar vivo? — Hyun perguntou

— A irmã dele. Mas não faz sentido ela querer machucar a Soojin — o príncipe Taeyang falou sabendo o quão a tia dela era preocupada com ela

— E não queria, mas com certeza meu avô foi atrás dela — o Rei balançando a cabeça soltando um suspiro — Ele não se cansa de machucar as pessoas

Enquanto isso a cirurgia ainda ocorria, estavam tentando parar a hemorragia. Soojin respirava pesado enquanto os médicos faziam seu trabalho árduo para salvá-la, seus sonhos trabalhavam em sua mente.

— Vossa Alteza! Vossa Alteza! O príncipe Hyun já está esperando você para os preparativos do casamento! — o Eunuco Yun falou e ela sorriu de leve para ele enquanto ajeitava o adereço na sua cabeça

— Já estamos atrasados, você não precisa enfeitar mais nada, Srta! — sua dama de companhia falou enquanto esperava impaciente

— Já estou indo! Taeyang e Yuri já estão lá? — ela perguntou enquanto se levantava e ia na frente

— Só falta a noiva — ela avisou enquanto iam atrás dela

— Eu pensei que você tinha desistido — ouviu assim que chegou no jardim e então ambos sorriram um para o outro

— E porque eu desistiria de você? Eu não desisti depois de todos esses tempos — ela falou feliz que finalmente se casaria com o homem que sempre amou

— Bem estamos aqui para celebrar o casamento entre a Princesa Kang Soojin e o príncipe Lee Hyun, obrigado aos convidados por virem — o cerimonialista falou com um sorriso nos lábios

— Eu não poderia querer isso com mais nenhuma pessoa — ele revelou para ela e então foi aí que ela percebeu que aquilo só poderia ser um sonho. Ela como uma princesa e se casando com o Hyun? Isso só poderia ser sua imaginação. Isso nunca seria real. Ela não era uma princesa e ele não sentia o mesmo e nem poderia ter nada por alguém que não tinha sangue real. Era tudo mentira.

— Você nunca poderia amar uma dama de companhia, não é Hyun? — o príncipe do sonho tombou sua cabeça para o lado — Não que você se importasse comigo antes, mas pelo menos aqui você pode saber que eu sempre amei você, Hyun. Como eu não poderia te amar? O que eu direi para meu coração? Todos os dias eu quero você nos meus braços. Eu simplesmente não posso te tirar das minhas memórias. E eu não quero. Eu sempre amei e amarei você, por isso estou te deixando ir, você merece alguém que te faça feliz e não a filha do general que sente um amor unilateral. Mas eu amo você, Jaeun, eu sempre amei

Os olhos do príncipe se arregalaram tanto pelas palavras finais que ela balbuciou quando dormia quanto pela garota que estava desacordada estar bem. Ele logo correu para seu lado aliviado por saber que ela está bem e que quando ela se recuperasse ele ia contar tudo o que estava sentindo recentemente por ela. Contaria tudo. Inclusive que ela era uma princesa. Ela não parecia entender o que estava acontecendo e então lembrou-se de seu ferimento.

— Por quanto tempo eu fiquei desacordada? — ela logo perguntou

— 2 dias e bastante coisa aconteceu, Vossa Alteza. Lorde Sangheon morreu, você não precisa se preocupar com ele, e o Rei abdicou do trono. Ele era uma mulher esse tempo todo — ele falou

— Isso iria acontecer de qualquer maneira, nós sabíamos disso. E… Espera, do que você me chamou? — ela falou sem entender, será que ela tinha falado enquanto dormia? Ela iria querer se enfiar no buraco se esse fosse o caso. Mas Jaeun apenas sorriu.

— Enquanto você estava desacordada a Rainha Mãe veio e nos contou que a Rainha de Changdeokgung, a Rainha Jooyoung, é a sua mãe. Por isso ela sempre também te tratou como uma filha, você é a filha dela de verdade. Vocês tem que conversar primeiro, eu sei disso — ela arregalou seus olhos. Agora faz todo sentido porque ela sempre foi tratada diferente de qualquer dama de companhia e porque a Rainha fazia questão dela participar das atividades das outras realezas. O Rei não iria querer por perto por ser fruto de uma traição e Lorde Sangheon fez tudo aquilo com a própria neta mal poderia imaginar o que faria com ela. Bem, ela já sofreu isso. Sua cabeça doía — Não se esforce tanto. Descanse — ele ofereceu tentando tranquiliza-la

— Você me jogou essa bomba e quer que eu fique calma? Como eu posso ficar calma? — ela falou ainda na flor da pele nem percebendo que estava quase gritando com ele — Me desculpa, Hyun, é muita informação

— Enquanto você ainda estava sonhando você falou que me amava, isso é verdade? — ele perguntou e então ela arregalou os olhos e os piscou lentamente

— O q-que? Eu f-falei i-isso enquanto eu d-dormia? — ela gaguejou desesperada e pode sentir suas bochechas ficarem vermelhas e ela queria morrer agora mesmo, ainda mais que ele riu de leve

— Eu acho que precisava só dessa informação para confirmar. Eu tive os mesmos sentimentos por outra pessoa não há muito tempo, mas nunca pensei que você tinha se afastado por isso. Eu pensei muito em você até mesmo antes de você sofrer o ferimento, fiquei muito preocupado que talvez o pior poderia acontecer. Eu só conseguia pensar em você todos esses dias que nos reaproximamos — ele revelou e ela segurou sua respiração não esperando essa confissão

— Hyun — ela o chamou sem saber muito o que dizer

— Eu sinto muito por estar te falando isso, sei que não é o momento certo e vou esperar você falar com sua mãe. Mas, assim que tudo isso se resolver e você tiver sua coroação, eu quero que você venha falar comigo no palácio — ele falou e ela ficou um pouco confusa

— No palácio? No seu? — ela perguntou meio confusa e ele sorriu de leve com sua reação

— Soojin, eu sou o novo rei — ele revelou para ela que quase caiu naquele instante, só não caiu porque já estava sentada

— Mas e o seu irmão? — ela perguntou ainda confusa e curiosa

— Ele tentou matar o rei anterior e foi deposto desse título. O meio-irmão do rei precedente faleceu no confronto contra o exército do Lorde Sangheon, que também foi liderado pelo meu irmão — ele suspirou meio triste e ela deu um meio sorriso pra ele, mesmo que não gostasse tanto do outro, ainda era o irmão de Jaeun

— Eu sinto muito, Hyun. Bem, eu preciso falar com minha… Mãe primeiro — era estranho falar essa palavra, mas ao mesmo tempo Rainha Jooyoung sempre foi muito boa e uma mãe pra ela mesmo sem saber que ela era sua mãe verdadeira. Ela assentiu de leve enquanto ficava de pé, mas antes de ir ele pegou em sua mão e acariciou fazendo a garota ficar surpresa com o gesto.

— Eu sei que vai ser uma grande princesa, Soojin — aquelas palavras fizeram seu coração bater freneticamente, Hyun também gostava dela e só isso era o que importava. Bem, eles finalmente poderiam ficar juntos e ele gostava dela. Enquanto caminhava para o segundo palácio não conseguiu esconder o sorriso que formava em seus lábios naquele momento. Pensaria o que ele queria falar com ela depois

Assim que viu o grande palácio sentiu a bile subir e descer, não sabendo exatamente como Taeyang e Yuri reagiriam e muito menos como a própria Rainha Jooyoung iria reagir. Estava nervosa, com mil e uma perguntas e sentimentos mais confusos que todos. Logo depois algumas damas de companhias a ajudaram e pareciam alegres que uma antiga colega de trabalho era uma princesa e logo a acompanharam para aquele palácio, a dama de companhia Lee anunciou seu nome alegremente e assim que aquelas portas se abriram três olhares se voltaram para ela.

— Princesa Soojin — a Rainha, sua mãe, a cumprimentou e logo ela saiu do seu trono e então sentiu os braços calorosos da mais velha e então ela abraçou-a de volta e então sentiu mais braços calorosos a envolverem — Eu sinto muito — ela ouviu a voz chorosa de sua mãe

— Está tudo bem, eu vivi neste palácio o suficiente pra saber o quão podia ser cruel, ainda mais o falecido chefe de estado. Está realmente tudo bem, eu entendi porque o papai mentiu pra mim, eu não te culpo — ela respondeu para a mulher que parecia mais aliviada

— Você é nossa irmãzinha e a gente sempre vai te proteger — o príncipe Kim falou e a princesa concordou

— E se você precisar de ajuda você sempre pode falar com sua irmã mais velha para dicas, nós sempre sabemos — Yuri falou e Taeyang soltou uma risada de deboche recebendo um tapa na cabeça da mais velha e Soojin não pode deixar de soltar uma risada, feliz que eles eram seus irmãos

— Além do que eu tenho certeza que ela irá querer ser a futura rainha, não é? — seu irmão zombou e ela corou com isso

— O que? Como assim? — e então explicou os seus sentimentos por Jaeun e como ela gostava dele e que ele confessou que pensou nela quando retomaram a amizade. Ela ficou animada e que com certeza ela apoiaria a filha mais nova nisso. Ela também explicou o que aconteceu entre ela e seu pai e pode entender todo seu lado. Não imaginava como era a sensação de ter uma filha tão perto e não poder falar nada. Ela não poderia culpá-la mesmo que quisesse. A coroação estaria marcada para o dia seguinte, nunca pensou que um dia seria a princesa, como o mundo é pequeno. Depois da conversa que teve com sua família decidiu visitar Sua Majestade. Eunuco Hong parecia mais animado do que nunca e esperou a dama de companhia Kim anunciar seu nome. Assim que as portas se abriram se curvou ao Rei Hyun.

— Vossa Majestade você pediu para eu vir conversar com você assim que terminasse de falar com minha mãe — até parecia irreal falar essas palavras, mas tinha gostado como soava. Mãe. Ela tem uma mãe.

— Sim, Soojin. Eu pedi para que você viesse. Amanhã será sua coroação, eu providencia tudo junto com sua mãe e seus irmãos. Amanhã será um grande dia para você, você tem uma nova posição aqui — ele falou e ela assentiu

— Sim, ainda parece surreal pra mim, mas eu aceitarei de bom grado aprender com os meus irmãos, por mais que eu fui dama de companhia ser princesa é algo bem diferente — ela falou e ele assentiu

— Isso é verdade. É uma grande responsabilidade ser uma princesa, imagina então para um rei. Mas eu sei que se sairá bem e eu não vim falar disso com você — seus olhos castanhos ficaram meio confusos, ainda mais que o novo Rei parecia querer esconder um sorriso, mas deixou ele continuar — Daqui alguns dias eu irei ter que escolher a futura Rainha, quer dizer, a Rainha Mãe vai me ajudar com isso também

— Bem, eu acho que isso faz sentido, não é mesmo? — o tom de decepção e tristeza em sua voz era perceptível, mesmo não abaixando sua cabeça para isso, mas ele sabia que ela possivelmente iria chorar, então logo se apressou

— Eu falei para ela que não precisaria de mais nenhuma candidata, eu sei muito bem quem eu quero que seja minha futura rainha — agora ela ficou curiosa, a única pessoa que ela sabia que ele gostava nunca mais poderia pisar os pés no palácio e vivia sua vida com o seu grande amor

— E quem seria essa pessoa? — ela perguntou e alguns minutos depois o Rei sorriu e viu ele se levantar e pegar alguma coisa que não tinha reparado no que era e então ele voltou-se a virar-se pra ela com um anel azul claro e uma rosa no meio

— Eu comprei esse anel para dar para uma pessoa e claro que nunca iria dar certo, então prometi que talvez alguém especial iria aparecer, mas quando eu deixei esse antigo sentimento ir eu percebi que essa pessoa especial estava bem debaixo do meu nariz esse tempo todo. Foi então que eu percebi porque o Rei precedente sempre falava algo subentendido. Foi então que eu percebi que você me olhava diferente e por conta dessa realização eu também comecei a te olhar diferente. Eu não vejo ninguém além de você sendo a minha rainha, Soojin — os olhos dela se arregalaram e ela prendeu a respiração. Ela sendo rainha? Rainha do homem que ela ama por todo esse tempo? E o melhor que não é por negócios e sim por amor? Se beliscou para ver se era um outro sonho e ele riu com isso — O que você tá fazendo?

— Só pra garantir que isso é real — ela falou — Você realmente me quer como Rainha, Jaeun?

— E porque eu não iria querer? É você quem eu quero e é você quem eu amo, Soojin. Você não está sonhando — ele falou sentando na frente dela e colocando sua mão em sua bochecha e ela pode sentir seu coração bater quase que em seu pulso

— É que eu nunca pensei que você poderia me olhar assim e eu também não… — antes que ela falasse mais alguma coisa ele tomou seus lábios em um beijo fazendo ela arregalar os olhos por um momento, mas depois se acostumou e o beijou de volta. Isso era melhor que qualquer sonho que tinha tido. Ambos ansiavam por aquele beijo, era perceptível que ele também queria, o que deixou a princesa Soojin feliz.

— Você ainda duvida que eu amo você? Você é a minha Rainha e sempre será. É você com quem eu quero dividir esse reinado e esse matrimônio, se você aceitar, claro — ele se levantou e ofereceu sua mão para que a mais nova se levantasse — Princesa Kim Soojin você aceita ser a minha futura rainha? — ele perguntou e então ela não se segurou e explodiu em lágrimas de felicidade

— Sim! É claro que sim! Eu sempre amei você, Hyun! Eu quero ser sua esposa e sua rainha — ela falou alegre e assim que ele terminou de colocar o anel no dedo da garota ambos se abraçaram felizes com isso. O homem que sempre amou finalmente estava a amando e iria se casar com ele. Parecia que finalmente havia achado o final feliz que sempre sonhou.

— Desculpa por nunca ter retornado seus sentimentos antes, eu prometo que irei compensar por todos esses anos — ele falou quando se afastaram, mas ele ainda segurava sua cintura

— Isso não importa mais e sim, eu sei que você vai — ela respondeu, ambos sorrindo um para o outro e foi a sua vez de beijá-lo. Ambos finalmente com o coração calmo e acalentado, pois finalmente tinham um ao outro. E sempre teriam.

E de repente, você é aquele que eu tenho esperado

Rei do meu coração, corpo e alma

FIM

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