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#character: zhang yan
heymeowmao · 9 months
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我的人间烟火 | Fireworks of My Heart E8 ° Wherever you go, whatever decision you make, you will always be my closest comrade and my best friend.
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movielosophy · 9 months
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An Ancient Love Song | Shangsi Festival
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first day as a early-third-century general and my lame loser of a liege lord has just suffered an overwhelming defeat at the hands of his rival warlord because he refused to abandon the refugees who were slowing him down.
this is our darkest hour. the coalition has been utterly crushed, my sworn-brother is presumed dead and our best general was last seen defecting to the enemy. it's up to me to cover our retreat. i scrape together twenty men and prepare to take a final stand. i am going to save the man i love--this stupid, loyal, big-hearted loser--or die trying.
i hide my men in the nearby woods and order them to tie branches to their horses tails to stir up dust to make it look like there's a lot of us, and then I ride out alone to face the Rival Warlord's army, screaming and raving like a lunatic.
my deranged, suicidal improvisation ends up being an OVERWHELMING SUCESS because the Rival Warlord is a neurotic over-thinker and he believes there's a huge force in the woods, waiting to ambush him. Rival Warlord calls for a retreat and i use this moment to change my pants.
suddenly, a man comes riding towards us with a baby strapped to his back. IT'S OUR BEST GENERAL!!! He hadn't betrayed us after all! he was behind enemy lines, rescuing the Loser Leige Lord's son and wife! we hug, kiss and shed manly tears. the wife gets a fist-bump. don't ask what happens to the baby later, it's not important.
my actions today have single-handedly changed the course of history. we have earned the undying love and support of the people and my Loser Liege Lord will live to fight another day. by the time Rival Warlord has figured out the ruse and orders a second attack, my sworn-brother has arrived with reinforcements and this time we ambush him for real.
as we make sail for the southern lands, i can't help but feel hopeful in spite of the lingering pain in my heart. although we have suffered unimaginable losses, i still have my sworn-brothers by my side. as long as the three of us are togather, there is nothing in the world i cannot endure. if anyone cares to remember my story after i am dead and gone, let it be known that i am but a coarse, common man with more flaws than strengths. if i have become a hero, then it was in spite of myself and all for the people that i loved.
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xinyuehui · 2 years
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I am Sun Sanniang first and Fu Zifang's mother second...I do not need your permission. Did you forget? Your father divorced me long ago. Nobody in this world have the right to control my marriage, even if you're my son, you do not have the power...I finally understand now, a mother could be kind, but the son may not be filial...If I want the phoenix coronet and official robe, I will earn it myself I will not rely on you.
梦华录|A Dream of Splendor
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blossom-blur · 5 months
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Here's Yan. She's Lian's rival and bully, and Yan and Lian always try to get a customer to like which of their foods is better.
Name: Zhang Yan Gender: Female Age: 15 Species: Human Height: 3'4 Hair: Violet Eyes: Black Skin: Fair Occupations: Cook / Owner of her Asian/Chinese food stand / Bully to Lian Alignment: Social Impure Personality: Mean, Arrogant, Serious a little, and Ruthless Likes: Bragging about her cooking skills, Bullying Lian, Cooking, and Being better than everyone Dislikes: Lian and Sweets Powers/Abilities: Great Cooking Skills / Martial Arts Skills / Speed / Strength Facts:
She is Asian and can speak Chinese and English
Her favorite food is Peking duck
Her favorite drink is oolong tea
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Chapters: 5/? Fandom: 老九门 | Old Nine Gates (TV), 盗墓笔记 - 南派三叔 | The Grave Robbers' Chronicles - Xu Lei Rating: Not Rated Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Yan Sanxing & Er Yue Hong, Yan Sanxing & Zhang Qishan, Yan Sanxing and Zhang Rishan, others may apply later Characters: Yan Sanxing, Zhang Qishan, Zhang Rishan, Er Yue Hong Additional Tags: Canon Divergent AU, Earn Your Happy Ending, redemption fic, Shifter!Verse, spiritual beasts and shifters are known but uncommon, fox shifters, weird science, and magic, cultivation exists as well, the Liu Chang Fox agenda Series: Part 1 of Shifter!Verse Summary:
When Er Yue Hong flees the knowledge of his father's sins, he leaves behind a seemingly dead body. One not quite as dead as one might expect.
In which Yan Sanxing survives.
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apollo-cackling · 1 month
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Zheng Jiang's faction is surprisingly busted at collecting unique characters. Bandits innately come with a bunch of spy positions, and after you've gotten a few tributes settled and basically don't need money anymore, you can flip all the county buildings to Preparatory Camps (which give +1 cover per turn), and after a while you can have each spy do Discredit Faction, Discredit Character and have points to spare. fulfulling my pokemon dreams <3
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fixaidea · 7 months
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So here's the thing: I don't usually engage with or care about top/bottom discourse EXCEPT when I think it's funny, sooo...
Let's do some Science and examine Pingxie in a Very Serious Manner.
To do this, first let's take a look at some data gathered from all the danmei novels and shows I know (relevant for calibration you know, since they have actual canon top/bottom dynamics.)
SVSSS
Shen Qingqiu - Since his cause of death wasn't starvation we can assume - well, at least hope - that he can make instant noodles, if nothing else, but he will absolutely avoid having to cook if he can help it.
Luo Binghe - As the Protagonist he of course has to be The Bestest at everything (...except sex, apparently) and it's mentioned that both Bingge and Bingmei use their culinary skills to woo the people they want to sleep with. He's also the top, even though everyone involved would be better off if he wasn't.
MDZS
Lan Wangji - Becomes a pretty decent cook, as per the extras. Prefers to top.
Wei Wuxian - It's not like he's incompetent, he doesn't burn or undercook the food, it's just that his taste is so extreme that his dishes are basically inedible to anyone else.
TGCF
Hua Cheng - No special talent for cooking, but at least he's not actively dangerous. There's no on-page sex scene in the novel, but it's made obvious that he tops.
Xie Lian - Biohazard. Weapons-grade culinary anti-talent. Gastronomy's answer to Vogon poetry.
Golden Stage
Ulike in most of the other novels on the list, food doesn't really have much symbolic meaning and not much is said about either Fu Shen's or Yan Xiaohan's cooking skills, exept for a brief mention of Fu Shen pickling eggs to pass the time. This is a rare couple that canonically switches.
Guardian
Zhao Yunlan - This man considers instant noodles cooked with coffee an okay way to surprise a boyfriend. He really wouldn't mind topping, which he keeps lamenting throughout the book, but he's paired with Shen Wei who might just have the strongest set preference out of everyone on this list.
Shen Wei - Likes to dote on Zhao Yunlan by cooking for him and is genuinely very good at it.
Word of Honor (mind, I have only watched the show here)
Zhou Zishou - Can keep himself alive, but left to his own devices would probably make due with charred-and-yet-undercooked fish or something.
Wen Kexing - A competent cook. While obviously not detailed in the drama I looked it up (or asked someone, I can't remember) and he's the top here.
Erha
Chu Wanning - Perfected exactly one (1) dish, is rather... unfortunate otherwise. You could not pay this man to top.
Mo Ran - Excellent cook. Actually worked in a kitchen at one point in his life, giving and receiving food is basically his main love-language.
Now that we have examined these canon couples and have drawn all the relevant conclusions, let's apply what we learned to our non-danmei, might-as-well-be-canon-but-isn't ship.
Wu Xie - Can cook just fine both in the novel and the drama-verse even if it doesn't come up too often. In the first season he cooks up a pretty decent feast for his friends and in the Yucun books he helps come up with the dishes they would serve in their restaurant.
Zhang Qiling - The entire Thing of this poor sod as a character is that he knows how to survive but not how to live. Taking the time to prepare nice meals or cook anything beyond basic sustenance just... doesn't fit that picture.
So.
I rest my case.
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tomorrowsdrama · 5 months
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What I find fascinating about the Story of Kunning Palace is that the large events and relationships from life 1 generally remain the same in life 2 (e.g. Ning’er runs into the princess and gains her affections, Yan Lin’s home gets raided on his coming of age ceremony, Yan Lin and his dad getting exiled, etc.), but the outcomes and feelings towards Ning’er are different due to her changed motivations/actions.
The most significant differences in this life are her relationship with Yan Lin and Yan Lin in general. Yes, I’d argue even more significant than the changes with Xie Wei. To me, aside from making sure she stays alive in this life, Ning’er’s greatest motivation is to save Yan Lin’s life and his soul/goodness. As we can see in life 2, Yan Lin is a puppy! Literal sunshine! And he treats Ning’er well above everything else.
I feel like it’s this desire for repentance and to preserve Yan Lin’s goodness that drives the bulk of her changes. Yeah she’s also trying to live up to her promise to Zhang Zhe to be a good person in life 1, but I wonder if that would have just remained surface level (like when she tried to convince herself that she can learn to love antique jade restoration in an effort to get closer to Zhang Zhe 😂) without also her desire to save Yan Lin.
Like @dangermousie discussed at length already, Yan Lin represents everything good in Ning’er. Just as his soul got corrupted in life 1, so did Ning’er’s. In life 2, because Ning’er did not betray him, his goodness and love for Ning’er remains intact and in the process. Ning’er also regains some of the goodness and warmth that she originally had when she first arrived at the capital. I mean, imagine how much more sinister Yan Lin’s “if you don’t get married by the time I return, I’ll snatch you back myself” would sound coming from life 1 Yan Lin? Shudder. Whereas it would sound like a threat from life 1 Yan Lin, it is a sweet joke from life 2 Yan Lin meant to alleviate any guilt Ning’er might feel from not reciprocating his romantic feelings.
Speaking of that, I am so, so happy to see a second male lead (or is it third?) that respects the FL’s feelings and is not annoyingly clingy. Yan Lin never changed how he felt or treated Ning’er even after learning that she did not love him romantically. He also never got jealous even after realizing she liked Zhang Zhe, nor did he try to guilt her into loving him. It’s just so refreshing and makes me love him even more.
Another interesting shift in relationship dynamics is the one between Ning’er and the guard. Again, it’s similar but different from life 1. In life 1 he was her muscle and did all her dirty work. In life 2, he his again her muscle and arguably is still doing her dirty work. However, in life 2, her purpose is different. Whereas in life 1 she used him to become empress and gain/retain power, in life 2 she uses him to try to save Yan Lin and his family. I’m not saying that the guard is a good person in life 2. I trust the man as far as I can throw him. But maybe he is a bit less evil? Or at the very least, because he’s using his violence for a less evil purpose, his corruption/descent into evil is cut off early and he doesn’t become an irredeemable character.
Last but not least, our emo professor shape qin otaku, Xie Wei. It would require me to write another short novel to go over how his character has changed in life 2 due to Ning'er and I feel like so many others have already discussed it better than I could. But I do want to discuss the potential collateral changes in Xie Wei. For example, Yan Lin. Because Yan Lin did not become hardened and “evil” in life 2, perhaps Xie Wei won’t end up becoming the bloodthirsty ruthless Xie Wei we saw in life 1. I imagine it might be a bit difficult to go on a murderous bloodbath when your cousin is a lovable ball of sunshine who just wants to protect the world (I mean, how precious 🥹. He’s like those young boys you see in anime who say they want to be a hero when they grow up). Also, in this life, his beloved uncle is still alive, so he and Yan Lin are not as desperate/left with nothing to lose in the world as they were in life 2. So maybe there is a chance that the bad ending of life 1 can be avoided for Xie Wei too. He was without a doubt the victor in life 1, but at a very high personal cost.
And that’s kind of the amazing thing about this drama. It’s not just a redemption story for Jiang Xuening. It’s also a redemption story for all these other characters with her change acting as the catalyst. Just as her actions sent them down their respective paths in life 1, her actions in life 2 are also slowly but surely changing their fates in life 2. If it wasn’t clear that she was the main character of this drama already, it sure is now!
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romchat · 5 months
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Story of Kunning Palace Ep. 18: Observing you observing me
When you've always seen yourself as the villain, is it harder to accept kindness or accept that others see kindness within you?
Hands down my favorite parts of Episode 18 were these two back-to-back scenes with You Fangyin, Jiang Xuening, and Xie Wei. For our two deeply scarred leads, the ability to find someone who truly sees them for who they are and what they could be feels unattainable, and yet in this episode they both find that.
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The day after being attacked by a delirious Xie Wei, Xuening goes to visit You Fangyin in prison. Feeling guilty about not being able to stop Yan Lin from being exiled, Xuening also expresses guilt about keeping Fangyin in "another prison" to protect her from her family. Like Xie Wei with Yan Lin, she believes her scheming has shackled Fangyin to an even worse fate.
But Fangyin just smiles and gently corrects her, arguing that Xuening has actually made her life better. She also notes that while "death is the end of everyone's life, the process could have thousands of possibilities." The conversation is a good reminder for Xuening that not only is Yan Lin's disastrous fate not locked into place, but also that perhaps Xie Wei's actions, like her own towards Fangyin, might not be as nefarious as she had originally assumed.
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I think that's why when Xie Wei confronts her outside the prison, she's angry but it's more from feeling betrayed than anything else.
Side Note #1: This woman though. Xuening literally saw Xie Wei murder a man and almost gets stabbed/strangled herself, but she's more upset that he kept his plan to protect Yan Lin a secret from her. She might idolize and be attracted to Zhang Zhe's virtuousness but she and Xie Wei are two peas in a pod when it comes to embracing the idea that sometimes the ends justify the (bloody) means.
Side Note #2: I love how Xie Wei is wary enough of Xuening's reaction that he keeps his distance but the moment his guard, Qing Feng, starts criticizing her he moves to her side.
Side Note #3: Zhang Linghe's profile is magnificent. That jawline is sharper than the dagger Xie Wei used to kill Gongyi Cheng.
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Xie Wei is an excellent people reader, and when she accepts his invitation back to his home, he knows she's angry. So it takes him aback when she extends a bit of kindness despite that.
The beginning of this scene has such lovely subtle acting by Zhang Linghe. Xuening sees Xie Wei struggle with setting down the qin because of his injured hand so she reaches over and gently places it on the table for him. That cautious lift of Xie Wei's head and the wonderous look on his face like he can't believe she'd offer care after witnessing his violence...that broke me. It says so much about his character and the low expectations he has for the people around him to care.
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But when it comes to Xuening, Xie Wei doesn't want her to have those same low expectations of him. He tells her not to trust him, that he's not a good person, and yet he
Risked his life to take pills that would treat his delirium enough that he could approach her the morning after he attacked her;
Is willing to risk his revenge plan by explaining parts of his strategy to someone with links to the Ministry of Justice just so that she doesn't turn away from him;
Gets visibly frustrated when she assumes he just wants to shut her up about the murder rather than explain about Yan Li.
And he tucks it away in his heart that she admits to observing him like he observes her. Although his identity is an illusion, it is enough for him that he is an illusion she truly sees and can be kind to.
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Look at that boyish smile.
How she is so oblivious about his feelings at this point is beyond me but Minister of Justice and Cheekbones is pretty distracting so I guess I get it.
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respectthepetty · 10 months
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ALERT ALERT!!! TAIWAN REQUEST ASK INCOMING!!!
Please can you recommend to me your top 5 Taiwan BLs? I saw you posting about a few and wanted to know when you would recommend please?! is it always enemies to lovers?
Thank you in advance colour genius!
WHY ARE THESE ASKS ONLY GETTING HARDER?! First, y'all wanted my Top GMMTV actors, then it was Top GMMTV pairs, and now you are coming for my heart and soul with my
Top Five Taiwanese BLs!
That's like making me decide who is my favorite Backstreet Boy (it's Kevin) or telling me to choose my favorite child. I don't have kids, but I feel this is very similar. I love all of them equally for different reasons. Taiwanese BLs are my favorites because they have the best parents, high heat, some (but not all) enemies-to-lovers, and serve domestic bliss, so forcing me to pick between them is painful.
But I'll do it!
However, I'm gonna finesse my way into having more than five, yet still only technically giving you five.
The Ones That Couldn't Be Considered:
First, I will not count HIStory 4: Close to You in this list because it is my favorite BL. Period. It is not fair to these other BLs that they can't be a strategic hot ass mess with the gusto that my beloved HIS 4 had.
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Next, Oh No! Here Comes Trouble isn't a BL, so I can't count it, but it was queer to me. I watched it for Your Name Engraved Herein's Tseng Ching-hua, but when Guang Yan said "This comic is not only about my high school life, but also about my heart," their love became canon for me, and I knew I wasn't moving past this show. When I write my book If You Just Don't Wanna Admit It's Queer, That's On You, the masses will see exactly what was there all along.
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I can't include Red Balloon because, quite simply, I don't remember it well enough since I watched it when it was released in 2017, but I still feel it in my heart, you know? Edward Chen, the opposite lead in Your Name Engraved Herein, and Jason Tauh of HIStory 5: Love in the Future were the younger leads, so if Gagaoolala brings it back, I'll watch it again to see how they have both evolved.
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I can't put my finger on why I won't include DNA Says I Love You, but I think it's because I don't classify it as a BL, yet I don't know why I don't classify it as a BL because it is a BL. It is! But . . . I don't know bruv. Either way, it's slow but good!
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See You After Quarantine?'s entire runtime is a little over an hour. That's one episode of a Thai BL! It's cute, quick, and creative, but I cannot use up a spot on an eighty-minute series even though it was good. I'm sorry boys, I'll see you after my Hot Tops!
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The Ones That Made the List:
#5 - About Youth
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I hate singing, but the songs (and singing) in this series were GOOD, so much so that I still listen to the theme song. The characters (except Ye Guang's shitty parents) were also good, but Ray was my favorite. It was just serious enough to not seem trivial but was still light and enjoyable, and Xu Qi Zhang's mom and pink Converse deserve some appreciation.
#4 - Be Loved in House: I Do
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That argument in the street that spilled over into the office the next day is one of my top five fights! In case you haven't watched it, Real got upset because he believed everyone was hiding a relationship from him, so Shi Lei called him out on his hypocrisy since they were basically in a relationship yet hiding it. Real misunderstood, but that made Shi Lei more upset which lead to him screaming at Real in the office asking if he even thought about them as a couple. Then Shi Lei's mother and that coming out scene! AND THE FLOOR SCENE! So many amazing scenes. So little space.
#3 - We Best Love
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Although I prefer No. 1 For You, it goes hand-in-hand with Fighting Mr. 2nd, so I'm counting them as one for this list. The second part gave us the office slap heard around the world, and that superb drunken confession, but the first portion really delivered a cohesive story about pseudo enemies-to-lovers that had satisfying pacing and great side characters. The show also had color coding, so if it weren't for the promise of a third season that has yet to be delivered, that time jump and the reasoning for the separation, it would have been No. 1 For Me.
#2 - My Tooth, Your Love
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As soon as Jin Xun An said he knew a good therapist, it was over for these other BLs. Jin Xun An is such an adult and does not have time for tomfoolery, which pushed Bai Lang to grow. A majority of BLs openly express that one of the leads is a mess from trauma, yet gives the message that the other person should and will love them regardless. Not this BL! Jin Xun An said he would love Bai Lang through it, but he didn't allow Bai Lang to treat him like poo or make excuses for his behavior while kindly pushing Bai Lang to treat himself as seriously and as gently as Jin Xun An did. Oh, and the side couple was intriguing as well.
#1 - HIStory 3: Trapped & HIStory ?: Freed
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You notice how all the other couples on this list are right next to each other, probably holding each other likely in bed? NOT THESE TWO! Mis tóxicos fell in love in the woods while handcuffed to each other after running away from their kidnappers while Kinn was still dating Tawan and Porsche was sexing up customers behind the bar (KinnPorsche). Mis tóxicos were not trusting each other, yet willing to fuck while Dr. Bun was still in the big city and Tan wasn't even on his radar (Manner of Death). I'm not making a comparison; I'm making a statement that this show changed me and what I now crave from other shows. If a man isn't willing to kill for his guy AND possibly kill his guy too, then is it really love? I have demanded for FOUR YEARS that my boy Tang Yi be released, and one of these days, Taiwan will deliver us what we all deserve -
HIStory 15: Freed WHEN?
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heymeowmao · 9 months
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我的人间烟火 | Fireworks of My Heart E8 ° I was thinking I could spend another year with you. But now it seems like I have to choice but to go.
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movielosophy · 9 months
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An Ancient Love Song | Riding horse is not as easy as I thought
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misspermitted · 5 months
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Really long ramble ahead: I really enjoy the quote that the main similarity between Xie Wei and Ning is that they’re loyal. Because on one hand, their main similarity is that they’re both ruthlessly manipulative and have serious trust issues and identity problems, but on the other hand, comic relief business guy is right. They’re both extremely loyal and motivated by their loyalty.
Ning is trying to save all of her friends no matter what because no matter the terrible things they did, like Yan Lin, in life 1, she is still loyal to them. She is motivated by her loyalty to Zhang Zhe and the promise she made to him. Xie Wei is motivated by a loyalty to his family, to avenge them, to betray everyone and Lord Pinging to do so, to the risk of death.
Not only this, but as demonstrated by their relationship, neither expects loyalty from others, ever. Xie Wei is loyal to her, his saviour, he does not kill her and tries to protect her out of loyalty to their connection and friendship (among other things), and Ning is completely unaware of this. She trusts he has the same goals as her, and is loyal towards the Yan family: she does not trust he would ever be loyal to her, they simply share a goal.
Ning is loyal to Xie Wei in a more intrinsic sense; that being she could easily sell him out to Zhang Zhe, or set him up, or any of that, and be rid of the main cause of the rebellion and life 1, but she never even considers it. She clearly is not averse to setting people up and does it many times, but still she helps him instead. Her whole “im not interested in your secrets” speech exemplifies this, because by all rights, she should be interested, he is behind the rebels, he slaughtered countless people in life 1, she believes he is capable of killing people again, but she isn’t. She threatens to reveal his secrets but it’s entirely half hearted and Xie Wei knows it. Still, he does not realise this is loyalty: she is scared of him, it is fear (except she hasn’t been scared of him for a while now but still). Or it is trust in his loyalty and that they have the same motivations (which it also isn’t).
Neither expects loyalty from others I believe because their loyalty was hard won. Xie Wei is loyal exclusively to people from his childhood, before his walls were built. Ning is loyal to the people she betrayed, they won her loyalty and appreciation through her acts of disloyalty and cruelty. Ning is only loyal to people she saw before her walls went up, before everyone who ever loved her betrayed her, before she was consumed by guilt. So the budding loyalty between Ning and Xie Wei is unexpected and unacknowledged by either party.
But, given their conflicting goals, I have this feeling their mutual loyalty is gonna be an issue in the future. As is exemplified by ZZ and XW’s enemy/rivalry thing, XW’s actions are progressively going more and more against Nings goal of a good ending, and she is going to have to deal with that at some point.
TLDR: Ning and Xie Wei’s loyalty underpins their motivations and their budding loyalty to each other is big for both characters, who so far are mainly just loyal to people they met before their walls went up, but this mutual loyalty will become a plot issue as both of their motivations begin to diverge.
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bl-is-totes-my-jam · 8 days
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Huang Junjie Bromances
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Zhe Yan (Chen Chuhe) and Bai Zhen (Huang Junjie) from Eternal Love of Dream.
I have not seen this show but from what I've read about it, these two characters goals in life is basically to hang out with each other and drink wine. I dunno about you but that feels a bit gay to me xD
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Zhang Qiling (Huang Junjie) and Wu Xie (Zhu Yilong) from Reunion Sound of the Providence.
Do I even need to say anything. The people who know Pingxie will understand me
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Lin Quishi (Huang Junjie) and Ruan Nanzhu (Xia Zhiguang) from The Spirealm.
So many heart eyes. Pulled from the site after two hours and it's kinda clear why. The sparks were flying!
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silviakundera · 4 months
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I'm gonna need kunning palace to give me a lot of the main otp in the last episodes, we have 8 left (this is why I don't f*ck with this 40 ep rule because now that we're getting the main relationship the show is over and everything that came before was also necessary). I'm gonna need to see how deep JXN's love for him becomes, I know people are obsessed with dedicated ML but I enjoy otps where it's more equal and I love seeing a female lead protect and support her otp the way he does her, even if it takes a while like in ming lan she had completely reasonable issues and took a while to warm up to him but when she did she was 1000% in and showed just how much she loved him, I personally don't appreciate unbalanced relationships where it's just one party sacrificing and being a lot more dedicated no matter the genders.
SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS WARNING MAJOR SPOILERS
Hard to say, depends on how close they stay to the book. They've been quite faithful to the novel so far but at the point we are now is where I feel fairly confident that we're gonna diverge. Because in the novel the otp gets VERY dark before they get better. There's a reason why Xie Wei has been holding himself back & restraining his emotions. He's a whole mess of anxiety & PTSD and he has to work through his traumas. Both these characters have been a burningdog.gif meme and saying everything is just fiiiiiiiine but in the novel when they finally get alone on center stage together things get REAL because it's masks off. And underneath they are a whole mess.
imo the key to this pairing, and why we don't get a love confession from her until the very end, is what she thinks when she finally publically claims him (fittingly, she doesn't claim the lauded scholar but the unhinged figure that the public now finds monstrous):
Shen Zhiyi asked: "Ning Ning, do you know what kind of person he is?”
Jiang Xuening said, "I know."
This person forced her to kill in his previous life; even in this life, he still thought about taking her to die with him. He is definitely not a good person. How could she not know?
It can even be said that she knows better than anyone else. Because she has seen his truest and craziest side.
Shen Zhiyi asked again: "Do you like him?"
Jiang Xuening thought for a while and said, "I like him."
At this moment, Xie Wei's palm trembled slightly, but there seemed to be thousands of lights and shadows passing by in his mind, and finally there was nothing left, just staring at her blankly.
Yan Lin stood too far away, no one could see his blurred expression clearly.
Shen Zhiyi also didn't speak for a long time.
She didn't fully agree, she was afraid that her Ning Ning would be sad because of the wrong choice, but she couldn't stop her, and all her worries finally turned into one sentence: "Then you really know what you are doing now?"
Jiang Xuening smiled at her: "I understand."
And not only know what to do now, but also what to do in the future.
So calmly: "I want to marry him."
"..."
That night, he asked her once, but she didn't answer, so he never dared to ask again.
But now she says she wants to marry him. Xie Wei suddenly couldn't tell whether this was real or a dream: didn't she want to leave him and go find Zhang Zhe?
Jiang Xuening also saw that he didn't comprehend. "You are really, extremely smart, but you just don't like people."
Talking about love, this person is stupid to death.
I am too afraid of losing what I have, and I seem to think that what I have will eventually be lost, so I am paranoid, extreme, and I refuse to show weakness to others and say all those words.
Jiang Xuening felt that this person was too similar to her previous self.
There are some things that I don't understand, so I bash my head against it.
She blinked, with tears in her eyes, but took his hand, tiptoed to kiss his cool thin lips."
//
Part of the reason she feels so deeply for him is their deep down similarity, but the novel is Jiang Xuening's journey to love & accept herself, letting go of the pain & shame from the past. She doesn't reach this point until the end, where she recognizes and accepts her own darkness and thus his, and also believes it doesn't need to define their future. Everyone now thinks she is the saint and he's the sinner but she knows they are both.
The novel epilogue shows they are finding a peaceful life together, the urge to fight and claw at life and each other has finally passed. But though in the last 30% of the novel we get tons of couple-time, all the gestures of devotion are coming from him. She's not ready. I frankly have no idea how much the drama will change the last 30%, and it won't land the same cause I'm sure they have to tone down how scary the ML gets...but regardless I do think we won't get a confession until the last act.
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