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#charles kinsey
theexodvs · 5 months
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Denying Alfred Kinsey was a child molester because he did not himself touch minors inappropriately to gather his data makes as much sense as denying Charles Manson was a murderer because he was not present for any of the murders for he would eventually be found guilty.
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hourcat · 3 months
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*pierre voice* ohhhhh noooo i wonder why the link isn’t working…. that’s just a shame isn’t it. anyway. face down ass up charlo :)
pt!pierre is a yoga enthusiast for this alone. "we'll start in downward dog" aka their favorite morning stretch. charles forgets about the fake article altogether by the second finger
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tfc2211 · 2 years
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01 - Ray Charles And His Orchestra - What'd I Say (Part I & II) 02 - The Jimi Hendrix Experience - All Along The Watchtower 03 - The Doors - Roadhouse Blues 04 - Stevie Ray Vaughan & Double Trouble - Love Struck Baby 05 - The Allman Brothers Band - Southbound 06 - Eric Burdon & War - Tobacco Road 07 - Buddy Guy - Forty Days And Forty Nights 08 - Jeff Healey - Shake, Rattle And Roll 09 - George Thorogood & The Destroyers – Bad To The Bone 10 - Buddy Guy - Every Time I Sing The Blues 11 - Duke Robillard – Don't Get Me Shook Up 12 - Buddy Guy - Lyin' Like A Dog 13 - Buddy Guy With G E Smith & The Saturday Night Live Band - Let Me Love You Baby 14 - John Lee Hooker – One Bourbon, One Scotch, One Beer 15 - Bobby Herb - Sunny  16 - Johnny Winter - Shame Shame Shame 17 - Larry McCray - Me And My Baby 18 - The Kinsey Report - Too Early To Tell 19 - J.B. Hutto & The New Hawks - Somebody Loan Me A Dime
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A Cartoon Guide to the Kinsey Report, Avon, 1953.
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theconcealedweapon · 28 days
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A police officer shot Charles Kinsey and used "I was aiming for the autistic person" as an excuse.
A police officer shot Philando Castile after giving him unclear orders that he misinterpreted.
Police officers also regularly play mind games that involve intimidating people into "consenting" to a search or confessing to crimes they didn't commit.
So you can take your "autism awareness" and shove it up your ass. You're the biggest threat to autistic people.
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I usually have Arthur as a solid 5.5 on the Kinsey behavioural scale, but I love Belgium/England from the 17th century. Purely on the basis that Charles I spent over a decade wooing Anthony van Dyke and spending SO much money on him that it contributed in part to the financial issues that preceded his beheading. Like yeah, girl, squeeze that simp for all he's worth. And then he gets cuckolded by his sons and his daughter in a few hundred years.
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honeytothebee · 8 months
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https://nypost.com/2023/07/11/parents-slam-the-cost-of-prince-william-and-kates-new-playground/#nypost-openweb-conversation
Do you know about this playground that is being attributed to William & Kate? It seems really odd. It’s managed by Windsor Great Park which is being managed by the Crown Estate I think? I dismissed it as clickbait the first time I saw it but then I saw that wannabe royal reporter Kinsey Schofield discussed it in her podcast. And Kinsey usually is pro-William and Kate so it seems odd that she didn’t fact-check this time. I don’t really know if William & Kate really has anything to do with this playground but it doesn’t seem like, it so idk why it’s being attributed to them.
NY Post is being irresponsible.
“When reached by The Post for comment, palace reps said “the park is run by Windsor Great Park and isn’t in anyway managed or run by The Prince and Princess.”
That’s the truth.
Here’s the scoop on who is in charge of Windsor Great Park:
There is a model Charles uses with every estate he takes over, and charging to park and play is part of it. Here’s a very interesting story from his favorite Rebecca English regarding his new love for Windsor and the way he’s “putting his stamp” on the estate:
Here’s an article about how he took charge of the Sandringham estate and turned it into his new Highgrove, including moving some cows in next to Anmer Hall:
He has installed a playground at Sandringham as well, and one at Dumfries House:
It’s a lot of reading, but the articles about his changes at Windsor and Sandringham contain a good bit of intriguing information related to topics I discuss on this blog, including his “nomadic lifestyle” and the way he conducted himself as heir.
I think Kinsey Schofield is based in LA and claims to look at royals “through the lens of pop culture.” I think that says all we need to know.
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the-empress-7 · 2 months
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Look at this Empress - so he actually came over because he didn’t want to go straight to the NFL as he’ll be called all sorts of names so he dashed back just for PR. I like how Kinsey called him a ruthless idiot. All that money spent for self promotion and his reputation still goes down the drain.. 
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pookiestheone · 2 years
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Charles "Tex" Smutney and Charles "Buddy" Stanley by George Platt Lynes (1907-1955)
Apr 24 George [Platt Lynes] once told me that Alfred Kinsey expressed some surprise at the fact that Tex Smutney and Buddy Stanley never got erections while posing for him, despite the warmth of the lights, and the proximities, and the voluptuous atmosphere.
But here - about half a dozen photographs with sand pile in a studio, intended for some assignment of bathing suits and beach fashion - Buddy has an erection. The erotic effect is very poignant and odd.
A Heaven of Words: Last Journals, 1956-1984 By Glenway Wescott (Wescott was Lynes's lover)
Three of these, and the Wescott quote, I've posted before
Uncensored version
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fairy-crocodile · 3 months
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I think Kinsey misread that article. Kay says that Charles did invite both of them to the walk.
Friends of the King insist he did not invite his brother to the public element of the Sandringham festivities — the walk to church for the Christmas service — blindly. 'It would have been easier to have asked him to stay away,' said one. 'But if the message of Christmas is anything, it is about family and togetherness. That's also why he extended the invitation to Fergie as well.'
This is even worse than Kinsey's version. At least in her version Charles was trying to do the right thing.
Which one do we prefer - a weak King or a King who is pushing "unity and forgiveness" with an alleged pedophile?
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saintmeghanmarkle · 5 months
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Kinsey Schofield and Enty Lawyer Part 1 (a few nuggets paraphrased by me) by u/daisybeach23
Kinsey Schofield and Enty Lawyer Part 1 (a few nuggets paraphrased by me) Thinks Meghan is trying to “luck” into something like Jessica Alba with Honest and Kim Kardashian with Skims. Both Harry and Meghan known for lack of work ethic. They are desperate for connections. Recall, their original plan was to earn money doing speaking engagements for Big Business. People are interested in people with actual work experience, like Whitney Wolf (co-founder of Tinder)Audible rumor not true. Meghan was manifesting.The “from the behind” photo pic of Harry and Meghan on Halloween is their trademark. They did the same on Netflix show. Agrees with CDAN post that the photo was staged. They are obsessed with security.Enty says Meghan and Harry did not get a standing ovation Katy Perry concert.Kardashian collab is a possibility. Kim K. Does not need help with Skims but she is curious if Meghan can help with click through rate. Enty Lawyer thinks Skims would have same results with many other people who are as popular or more than Meghan.Kinsey says Princess Diana, if alive today, would never have gone on Kardashian show. She did strategically upstage Charles by allowing paparazzi to photograph her. Diana would have attended a Katy Perry or Beyonce concert.Enty Lawyer knows Bill Simmons and Harry utterly failed at Spotify. Couldn’t produce any content at all. Not even a series about veterans, military life. Thinks Harry only wants to eat edibles and mushrooms all day.Meet me at The Lake is not going to make any money for Meghan and Harry because Netflix owns the rights. Netflix is trying to get something from Meghan and Harry. They weren’t coming up with anything good, Meghan wants to be known as a producer. She dreams of being an Oscar nominee. The book isn’t as popular as originally believed. It was a bestseller for two weeks only - vs a Killers of the Flower Moon bestseller over 100 weeks. If this movie is made, it may not even be a hit. Meghan and Harry have no good ideas. The only content they have produced for Netflix that succeeded was their docuseries.Meghan’s brand is failing. The Family Guy skit showed Meghan as a parody. Agrees with Lady Glenconnor that Meghan did not understand what being Royal means. Thought it was another form of celebrity. Thinks Harry just wants to be left alone. Thought he looked miserable at the most recent San Diego event. This event is in his wheelhouse. Thinks it’s ridiculous Meghan changed her clothes at this event. Her wardrobe looked bad and thinks her clothes must be on consignment. The photos at the event looked grainy and terrible.This is part 1 of her talk with Enty Lawyer. Here is link to videohttps://youtu.be/w9Co0IYp5jE?si=6-AWB42BiF4PGucxToodles Sinners! post link: https://ift.tt/J3FNqHn author: daisybeach23 submitted: November 12, 2023 at 09:52PM via SaintMeghanMarkle on Reddit
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Ace!Charles Fic List 🖤🤍💜
Hello yes, I would like all of you to know that I have written multiple permutations of ace and/or aro!Charles.
Dedicated especially to @blue-ravens and @genderqueer-klinger
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X Marks the Spot (ace) - Charles gets ahold of the Kinsey Scale in a canon missing scene.
Those Who Came Before (ace) - Charles sees the ace flag for the first time.
Solidarity (ace!Charles, demi!BJ) - Charles and BJ have a little chat where they both get acquainted a little better.
Safe h-AVEN (ace!Charles) - Modern AU where Charles and Hawk are in college together, and Hawk introduces Charles to AVEN.
AO3
swifter than the arrow (aro/ace) - Charles and Potter have a chat (549 words)
shizukana yoi ni, hikario tomoshi (in the quiet of the night, let our candle always burn) (bi-ace, sex-repulsed ace) - Modern AU, Spies, Fake Dating, Charles/Donna (75,850 words)
The Home Universe (biromantic demi/gray-ace) - various, Charles starts off in the universe ace and stays that way; Charles/Donna (also BJ/Peg/Hawk in most stories), go from engaged to married 💜
+ Other stories tagged with "Ace!Charles" where it's not a specific plot point:
Not on Your Life (ace) - those missing few days in Mr and Mrs Who, where Charles and Donna get to know each other (19,410 words)
younger in october (than in all the months of spring) (ace) - Charles/Hawk, sad autumn boys post-war (14,739 words)
Electric (ace) - AU, where Charles in 1947 meets Hawkeye, who is an actor (2,587 words)
Open to Interpretation (ace) - tag to Foreign Affairs, vaguely CharlesHawk (632 words)
holy (demisexual) - Charles/Donna, descriptive smut (555 words)
something permanent (ace!Charles) - Charles wants to propose to Hawkeye, with a little help from his friends (2,547 words)
all's well that mends well (ace) - Charles and Donna relax after a long day (1,391 words)
that which is precious (demi!Charles, trans!Charles) - Charles and Donna make love (2,710 words)
Thank you! I hope you enjoy them 🥰
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Alfred Kinsey may have come up with the concept of a sexuality spectrumback in 1948, but it’s only been the last few years that we’ve come to accept this, with a recent YouGov studyfinding 1 in 2 young British people now identify as not completely heterosexual, a huge leap from even just a few decades ago.
But the history of bisexuality extends way beyond the last few years.
In Ancient Greece, bisexuality was often encouraged between free men, with older men engaging in sexual relationships with younger men, meant to give them wisdom and experience. This wouldn’t stop them from marrying women later in life either.
Many Greek fables contained bisexual heroes. In Homer’s IlliadAchilles has relationships with both women and his friend and sparring partner Patroclus. While Alexander the Great and Roman Emperor Hadrian both openly had wives and male lovers. Zeus even had a male lover, Ganymede, when he wasn’t romancing women.
In Ancient Japan, bisexuality was common amongst the Samurai warriors, with older warriors taking on younger warriors as lovers – similar to the Greeks. Although it was expected that they would cease their romantic relationship once the younger man came of age. This special relationship was called “shudo”.
Bisexuality was viewed as more preferably to homosexuality. In Ancient Japan, there were three genders: adult man, woman (joro), and attractive young man (wakashu). Adult men were not allowed to be attracted to each other, but could form a relationship with both a joro and wakashu.
There is even some evidence to suggest Native Americans supported bisexuality in the form of the “Two Spirit” people. “Two Spirit” people were members of the tribe who took on both male and female roles and were considered sacred. They would often have both heterosexual and homosexual relationships.
The word bisexuality wasn’t coined until 1892, by Charles Gilbert Chaddock, who was translating Kraft-Ebing’s PsychopathiaSexualis. During this time, however, homosexual acts were strictly forbidden, with England enforcing anti-sodomy laws which didn’t change in the UK until 1967.
"In Ancient Greece, bisexuality was often encouraged between free men."
Often, bisexuality was considered a mental disorder, much like homosexuality. Castration, medication, electric shock therapy and hypnosis were often used as “treatments”.This only changed in the 1970s when many psychiatric institutions around the Western world reformed.
In the 1920s, Sigmund Freud theorisedthat bisexuality came about from trauma inflicted upon a person while they were still in the womb. He argued that in this developmental phase babies were not one gender or another and that any form of homosexuality was caused from babies not developing “normally” from this stage.
Alfred Kinseywas the first to arguethat human sexuality was more than just binaries and instead lay on a scale ranging from heterosexual to homosexual. His research even showed that bisexuality was much more prevalent than anyone at the time thought.
In the 1960s, bisexuals were an important part of the gay rights movement. Bisexual Brenda Howard played a major role in organising the first gay pride march in 1969, and Donny the Punk made the first on-campus LGBT+ student group in 1966.
Today, with more and more celebrities coming out as sexually fluid, the term “bisexual” is going out of vogue. Evan Rachel Wood told Marie Claire in 2011, “I can’t say I’m one way or the other because I’ve honestly fallen in love with a man and I’ve honestly fallen in love with a woman. I don’t know how you label that, it’s just how it is.”
A recent study from The Advocate revealed that many Americans didn’t identify with the word “bisexual”, but did identify as not completely straight: “Reliable data has only emerged in recent years, but there are now several studies that have found that 10 to 14 percent of American women describe themselves as mostly, but not completely heterosexual, and 6 to 9 percent of American men who self-identify the same way ... And the term bisexuality “doesn’t quite capture a lot of what the young people were feeling,” [one researcher] says. For instance, he encountered young men who might say, “I’m really attracted to women, but I wouldn’t rule out the possibility of a guy,” he notes.”
We are only now just understanding and accepting the complexities of human sexuality, and whether you call it bisexuality or not, we’re embracing the idea that anybody can love whoever they want.
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bookgeekgrrl · 1 year
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My media this week (12-18 Feb 2023)
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📚 STUFF I READ 📚
😊 "List of People Who Disappeared Mysteriously at Sea" (Jen Myers) - nicely eerie short story
😊 In The Market For Murder (Lady Hardcastle Mysteries #2) (T.E. Kinsey, author; Elizabeth Knowelden, narrator) - again, I'm a fan of the breezy 'not-super-serious-about-historical-accuracy-in-the-small-details' tone; I really like that Flo & Lady H have this backstory/history that we only find small bits about here and there
😍 Same As It Ever Was (QuokkaFoxtrot) - 62K, Steddie - EXCELLENT time-loop fixit AU
🥰 Cabin Pressure - Series 1: Abu Dhabi to Fitton (John Finnemore, author; Stephanie Cole/Roger Allam/Benedict Cumberbatch/John Finnemore, voice cast) - entertained again by the crew of MJN Airlines
😍 Matchmaker, Matchmaker, Make Steve a Match (BlueSimplicity) - 209K, shrunkyclunks - omegaverse (but fairly nontrad, no mpreg) - the slow burn tag is not inappropriate but also it kind of doesn't FEEL that slow! deep worldbuilding, excellent epistolary component, incredible OC's, the differences/subversions of trad omegaverse tropes gave me clowfish AU vibes, which I loved
😍 Will Wonders Never Cease (PorcupineGirl) - 56K, zimbits AU, You've Got Mail/She Loves Me fusion - magic's real, Bitty's a tech witch with a very cute familiar - read this in one sitting and my face hurt when I was done from smiling so much
🥰 Luke and Billy Finally Get a Clue (Cat Sebastian) - novella, set in 1953; to paraphrase the official description: two best friend pro ball players finally figure their shit out, featuring: inclement weather, only one (real) bed and some hurt/comfort. Technically this is set in the Cabot Universe but there are zero Cabots in this one. Cat continues to score home runs on vibes alone. I love her books so, so much!
💖💖 +189K of shorter fic so shout out to these I really loved 💖💖
I Want You to Find Me (PorcupineGirl) - Check Please!: zimbits, 23K - canon-divergent AU where Bitty's a camboy that catches Jack's attention (while also still being his former teammate and all)
Ruin me (rainbow_nerds) - Stranger Things: steddie, 11K - absolutely cannot get enough of a reunion/2nd chance fic!!!!! fluffy AF!
Critical Feline Mass (Kryptaria, zooeyscigar) - MCU: stucky, 39K - no-powers AU where they're both retired military, Steve rents an apt to a still-struggling-to-reintegrate Bucky & sparks (and feelings) fly. also there are a lot of adorable kittens.
📺 STUFF I WATCHED 📺
Tom Scott & Gavin Free - "We tried the Hot Ones sauces. It was painful."
Queer Historical Romance panel with KJ Charles, AL Lester & Lex Croucher presented by The Portal Bookshop
Poker Face - s1, e5-7
Our Flag Means Death - s1, e8-10
🎧 PODCASTS 🎧
⭐ Vibe Check - NFL = National Fenty League
Digital Folklore - Monsters and Mental Healthcare - Vivian Asimos & Kathleen Hale
The Sporkful - Alan And Arlene Alda Bonded Over A Fallen Rum Cake
The Atlas Obscura Podcast - The Henry Miller Memorial Library
You Must Remember This - 1984: "Vioporn," Body Double and Crimes of Passion (Erotic 80s Part 7)
Switched on Pop - “Flowers” and the art of the response song
Digital Folklore - Hidden Meanings (Haunted Videogames, ARGs, & Folk Groups)
Strange Customs - Katie Lowes and Adam Shapiro—The Rock
It's Been a Minute - Unlocking desire through smut; plus, the gospel of bell hooks
⭐ Vibe Check - There’s Dog Years, and Then There’s Queer Years
ICYMI Plus - The Internet’s Black Emo Renaissance
99% Invisible #525 - The Chinatown Punk Wars
⭐ Fated Mates - S05.22: Trailblazer K.J. Charles
The Atlas Obscura Podcast - Pushkin’s Duel
Welcome to Night Vale #222 - Makarov the Magical
Shedunnit - Bonus: Tana French on Josephine Tey
Fated Mates - S05.14: Band Sinister by KJ Charles
Writing Excuses - 18.07: Deep Dive into THE SPARE MAN
The Atlas Obscura Podcast - Cactoblastis Memorial Cairn
Writing Excuses - 18.05: An Interview with Mary Robinette Kowal
Ologies - Melaninology (SKIN/HAIR PIGMENT) with Tina Lasisi
You Must Remember This - 1985: Fear Sex. Jagged Edge & AIDS (Erotic 80s Part 8)
Endless Thread - The Journeys of Two Russian Anti-War YouTubers
Strong Songs - From Bach to Miles Davis, with Emily Reese
You're Dead To Me - Early Medieval Papacy
It's Been a Minute - Kelela's guide for breaking up with men
Dear Prudence - My Partner Might Be in Conversion Therapy. Help!
🎶 MUSIC 🎶
Rihanna
The Celtic Spirit
my 'Thumbs Up' playlist
Tropical Dance Pop
Hi-Scores
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emiliasilverova · 2 years
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Queering the Bond characters, part 2: the classic people
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After the Bonds, now on to a bunch of people from the classic Bond flicks...
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Dr. Julius No: aromantic asexual People are temporary, science is eternal.
Rosa Klebb: homoromantic homosexual As per canon.
Ernst Stavro Blofeld (all versions except Diamonds are Forever): aromantic asexual Evil so pure it has no need for earthly pleasures. Is it to preserve this that they made him Bond’s brother in the Craig era? Like, for fear Bond would actually want to bed him?
Ali Kerim Bey: biromantic bisexual This man LOVES beautiful people. All of them.
Pussy Galore: homoromantic homosexual Or at least, that’s what she, the original lesbian extraordinaire, should have been. But because Bond can somehow still win her over, let’s give her a 5 on the Kinsey scale, shall we? And let's not talk about her treatment in GoldenEye Rogue Agent... as much as I love this game, there are things I can't accept.
Diamonds are Forever!Blofeld: homoromantic homosexual I guess? I mean he’s the Blofeld who dressed in drag, plus there’s this weird tension between him and Bond and his total disinterest in Tiffany.
Albert Wint & Charles Kidd: homoromantic homosexual Like with Klebb, a good reminder that they canonly are. Sweet creepy couple.
Francisco Scaramanga: homoromantic pansexual Canon says he’s a closeted gay, but I think that the movie version (at least) is more or less self-aware and still is attracted to women. Pan because he seems more attracted to the idea of Bond being an equal than a (hot) man.
May Day: biromantic bisexual She loves Zorin, she loves her girlfriends, she doesn’t mind playing with Bond, she always kicks ass. Simple as that.
Franz Sanchez: biromantic heterosexual I mean, this man just pampers Bond, perhaps even more than Lupe. He’d probably cuddle with him and/or Dario if he could. I don’t exclude a 1 or 2 on the Kinsey scale because of this, by the way.
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lothiriel84 · 10 months
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Not Handsome Enough to Tempt Me
To say that Mr Fitzwilliam Darcy was in a foul mood the night of the Meryton assembly might have been the understatement of the century.
A Pride and Prejudice ficlet. Bisexual!Darcy, implied bisexual!Wickham and biromantic!Elizabeth.
Author’s note: This is my attempt to adapt the "Two kinsey 5s making it work" Tumblr post about Beatrice and Benedick for the Pride and Prejudice fandom. Proceed with care.
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To say that Mr Fitzwilliam Darcy was in a foul mood the night of the Meryton assembly might have been the understatement of the century. Not only was he still reeling from everything that had transpired at Ramsgate – his own feelings of betrayal over George’s deplorable conduct only making it more apparent how badly he had failed his beloved sister – but he was also forced to bear the painful sight of his particular friend exchanging smiles with one that was widely regarded as the handsomest girl in the room. He could have cursed his own ill luck when Charles took it into his mind to prompt him to dance with Miss Bennet’s sister; after all, he didn’t even need to look at her to know she couldn’t possibly be handsome enough to tempt him.
If only he had known how wrong such an assessment would turn out to be, he might have at least considered holding his tongue; as it was, he thought no more of it, until fate decided to throw him and Miss Elizabeth together once more.
No sooner had the entire party quitted Netherfield that Mr Darcy was able to breathe freely once more. It was bad enough having to vie for Charles’ affections, such as they were, with a country nobody of uncertain feelings and a completely embarrassing family to boast; his sanity had been sorely taxed by the necessity of being constantly on his guard, lest a chance meeting risked stirring the tangle of conflicting emotions he had been striving to suppress with regards to a most unwelcome addition to Meryton’s society. As for Miss Elizabeth Bennet, he hardly knew himself anymore, but as he could scarcely credit his family to approve such a connection, he had therefore resolved to think of her fine eyes and pert conversation no more.
As it happened, fate entertained completely different ideas on the subject, as he would soon find out.
.
He was, without a doubt, the most foolish and despicable man on earth. Elizabeth had been entirely in the right in rejecting his farce of a proposal, and he could blame no one but himself on that count. With sudden clarity, he knew he could never marry, not after this. In all his eight and twenty years, not once had he looked upon a woman with anything but a sense of discomfort, and the disdain of one used to being subjected to the most artful schemes by the ladies in his society; Elizabeth was his one exception, and he had been inconsiderate enough to destroy her regard forever with his pride and his unpardonable conduct.
His previous resolve to seek out an eligible bride to bear him an heir for his estate had dissolved under the same rain he had ridden into after paying his ill-conceived addresses to the one woman he could ever see as the companion of his future life. And if he could not hope to restore himself in her regard, the very least he owed both to her and to himself was to disclose his full motives for his past conduct, and beg for her forgiveness.
After that, he would sequester himself to Pemberley, and devote his full attention to the happiness of his sister. She was now to be his heir, and her future children after her.
There had been a moment, before that fateful letter came, when he had been convinced that, should he pay his addresses again, they would not be so ill received as they had been on a previous occasion. Unfortunately, he was never to find out, as Miss Elizabeth and the Gardiners were now on their way back to Hertfordshire, and he knew he would never see her again. Oh, he planned to find the scoundrel, and give him a piece of his mind before forcing him to do the honourable thing and marry the girl; as much as the thought of securing Wickham’s marriage to a girl of fifteen turned his stomach, he saw no other alternative, and it would at least make it more difficult for George to continue ruining the reputation of unmarried young ladies.
He felt sure that, had he been more careful in concealing his preference for Miss Elizabeth, neither she nor her family would have found themselves in their current predicament. In George Wickham’s eyes, targeting the youngest Miss Bennet had been nothing but retribution for Darcy’s past conduct in his regard, in the same way persuading innocent, sweet Georgiana into an elopement had been.
That the same youthful indiscretion should come back to haunt him for the whole of his natural life, he was now bitterly sure of. Not that he deserved any less, he was convinced, and wouldn’t so much mind the misery he had brought upon himself, if only he could spare those he loved the same fate.
To his credit, Charles Bingley had listened to his friend’s detailed confession of his past misdeeds with an equanimity Darcy had not previously suspected the younger man to possess; even his momentary discomfort at being informed of the full extent of Darcy’s previous regard for him was quickly dismissed, and it was fair to say their longstanding friendship withstood such a trial with an ease and grace that could scarcely fail to surprise – and delight – both parties.
As his mind drifted towards the mutual bitterness of his and George’s parting, both after his father’s death and more recently in London, he congratulated himself on his good fortune in finding such a friend, and assured Bingley of his most heartfelt approval of his intentions to renew his suit of Miss Jane Bennet.
As for Elizabeth Bennet, he wished her every happiness, and prayed to God that she would one day find a husband who might endeavour to deserve her. He knew he did not, and he would regret this unfortunate circumstance for the rest of his life.
In his determination to do everything within his power to ensure his friend’s happiness, Mr Darcy forgot to consider whether his own feelings were under good enough regulation to face the day with the composure required of a gentleman standing up with the bridegroom. He knew that Elizabeth would be in attendance, of course, and that it was entirely possible that she would stand up with her sister; as for the Wickhams, he had dared to hope they would not brave the journey from Newcastle, as news had reached him that Mrs Wickham was expecting. And while he bore no ill will whatsoever to Charles for his happiness in entering the married state, having to bear witness to George parading Lydia around as if she were a prize mare proved to be too much for his already frazzled nerves.
He was halfway towards working himself into a state, hidden away as he was in a prettish kind of little wilderness to the side of Longbourn, when someone approached him, and shortly after a small, ungloved hand came to rest on his forearm.
“I am exceedingly pained to see you suffer thus, Sir,” Elizabeth murmured, sympathetically. “If only there was some small way for me to offer you comfort, you have but to name it.”
Darcy barked out a humourless laugh at that, and subsequently found himself unable to hold back the tears that had been threatening to escape since the morning. “You are too kind, Madam. My pain is of my own doing, as you are entirely aware, and so I must suffer it.”
He didn’t realise she was offering him her handkerchief until he felt it pressed into his own hand. “Mr Darcy, I have thought long enough on the contents of the letter you have been kind enough to give me, and I find I cannot be silent any longer. You expressed your feelings of shame and guilt for forming such a peculiar sort of attachment as society could be never prevailed upon to acknowledge, let alone accept – and yet I cannot find fault in you for simply loving your friends. I know how painful it is to have your particular friend removed from your society upon their marrying, and while Charlotte and I have never discussed our previous attachment, I can assure you it was most grievous for me to see her loyalties, if not her affections, transferred to her husband.”
“I – am not entirely sure we are speaking of the same sort of attachment, Miss Elizabeth. And while I must once again beg your forgiveness for my role in separating my friend from your sister, I knew from the start there could never be anything beyond friendship between myself and a respectable man such as Charles is.”
“I cannot possibly relate the minute details of my previous acquaintance with the former Miss Lucas, Sir, but you must at least trust me with the use of my own understanding and heart. And I wasn’t speaking of my new brother only, as you well know.”
He swallowed and faced away from her, as he surreptitiously made use of the proffered handkerchief. “I am exceedingly sorry that my mere presence in Hertfordshire spurred George to choose your family as the target of his nefarious designs. As I believe I mentioned in my letter, he has every right to consider himself ill-used on at least one count, but even after his shocking attempt to revenge himself upon me through Georgiana, I wouldn’t have thought so low of him as to think him capable of imposing upon a girl so entirely unconnected to myself.”
“Not so entirely unconnected, if my aunt and uncle are to be believed,” she smiled, the warmth in her eyes so palpable he felt his heart leap in his chest. “Which reminds me, I am still to thank you for your invaluable service in rescuing my sister, and securing the continued respectability of my family. It’s not a match I would have wished for any of my sisters, but as Lydia assures me she is far from disappointed in her choice of a husband, my only regret is that it should have come at such a personal cost for yourself.”
A most bittersweet smile coloured his features, and he promptly shook his head. “I have made my choice when I rejected George’s affections, all those years ago. And while I won’t go so far as to claim I do not regret the circumstances of our parting, his subsequent conduct has long destroyed the better part of my regard for him. Securing your sister’s future was the least I could do, when I was the indirect cause of the ruination of all her prospects.”
“You are too generous, Sir,” Elizabeth claimed, her hand impulsively covering his own. “As for myself, I can but heartily pray that your good deeds are rewarded in kind, and that you find the happiness you deserve.”
“I can assure you, Madam, I have as much happiness as I shall ever deserve,” he forced himself to speak around the tightness in his throat, as he sternly reminded himself that she would never be his, no matter how desperately he wished it.
“Mr Darcy, that will not do at all,” she cried, throwing her hands up in frustration. “I know I can scarcely hope for a renewal of your addresses, but is it so wrong of me to wish for all misunderstandings between us to cease once and for all?”
His head spun, and he wondered just how much wine he had had at the wedding breakfast. “Scarcely hope? Elizabeth, you must know – surely you will understand – after everything I disclosed to you in my letter, my honour as a gentleman prevents me from even suggesting a union between a respectable young woman such as yourself, and a – a reprobate, such as myself.”
“How dare you speak ill of the man I love most dearly?” she exclaimed with the force of her conviction, and in a moment of boldness took hold of both of his hands. “I do not care who you loved in the past, so long as you promise to be true in your affections from this day on.”
“Elizabeth,” he whispered her name like a prayer, and all but fell to his knees in front of her. “Is this possible?”
“It is indeed, Fitzwilliam,” she laughed, and when her lips touched his, he was left to wonder whether it was in fact possible to die of happiness.
4 notes · View notes