#charlie? easy. takes me 5 mins.
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The golden trio Pt 5
Lando Norris x female!reader
Carlos Sainz x female!reader
Max Verstappen & Female!reader & Charles Leclerc
Summary - Being bestfriends with two famous formula one drivers is never easy, but what will happen when you get involved with yet another formula one driver??
Warning - a cringy pick up line, cheating, slight argument and swearing
A/n - I’ve been ill all weekend so I have just been getting some things done so you are getting loads this weekend
There is also kind of a time skip half way through, but you’ll know when 🤍
How is everyone feeling about todays Grand Prix?? 🥹
The golden trio
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Text (White: Reader) (Orange: Lando)
Hey, are you lighting cause I make you McQueen 😉
Lando Norris are you trying to use a pick up line on me?? 😳
Of course darling, just trying to shoot my shot
Well in that case if you want to shoot your shot, take me on a date
Tomorrow 6pm I pick you up
Do I get to know where we’re going Mr Norris??
Nope. I’ll see you then 😘
See you tomorrow 6 pm 🤍
yourusername has posted a story
Gossip Groupchat (White: Reader) (Red: Charles) (Blue: Max)
Hey Bee, me and Charlie have found a new film wanna do a movie night tonight??
Yeah! It looks like a great film, we think you’ll like it 😁
Oh I’m sorry guys, I have a date tonight…
A date?!
With who!??
Um…Lando 🤭
Wait what?? Has finally come to his senses and remembered that night?!
Idk, he sent me a very cringy pick up line to shoot his shot
Yeah and then what??
I then said if he wanted to shoot his shot he should take me on a date so yeah he’s picking me up at 6
Ohhhh so that’s why you were busy all day
Yep, I was getting my nails done and doing some last minute pieces
Well we’ll probably see you just before you leave so I won’t give you the talk just yet 😇
Now I’m considering sneaking out 😅
Don’t you dare young lady!!
lando.jpg
Shooting my shot for her 😍
Tagged: yourusername
Liked by maxverstappen1 and 63,935 others
username I want dates like this 😩
username Lando taking photos of their date is just to make us jealous 😤
= username Well it worked 🫤
charles_leclerc Don’t forget about her curfew
= lando.jpg Of course, don’t want to get on the big brothers bad sides 😳
= username Overprotective brothers!!!
Texts (White: Reader) (Orange: Lando)
I had a great time last night, thank you 🥰
Of course, I had to win you over and I hope I’ve done that 🤞🏻
You were successful in winning me over
Yayyy!! Wanna do it again some time?
I’d be a fool to turn that down 😅
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yourusername
Monthly dump 😚
Liked by carlossainz55 and 63,826 others
username Not Y/n posting Lando’s back like we don’t know who she’s dating like girl we know, it’s okay 😂
username The food is making me HUNGRY!!
username She’s just like us, posting the ‘worst’ photos of her bestfriends lol
landonorris Who’s that in the McLaren hoodie?? 😏
= yourusername Idk but he uses some cringy pick up lines 😃
username Not Max being an iPad kid 🫣
f1gossip
Spotted: Lando Norris sharing a kiss with another girl whilst Y/n L/n is seen shopping on the other side of Monte Carlo
Liked username and 2,383 others
username Isn’t Lando and Y/n a thing??
= username Yeah…
= username That means he’s cheating on her 🫢
= username Yeah…
username Why?? Lando why??!
username No I can’t, I just can’t today no!!
username He continues to fuck up my ship! FUCK!
Texts (White: Reader) (Orange: Lando)
Baby I’m so sorry!
No you can’t go ‘baby’ me. No not after you go and kiss another girl Lando.
It’s not what it looks like, please let me explain
Go on then explain why you were passionately kissing another girl in your car
Seen 4 mins ago
I can’t, I’m so sorry darling
Please it didn’t mean anything to me honestly
Baby? Y/n??
I love you sweetheart
Twitter
username Lando Norris you are gonna need to hide from Max and Charles once they see what you’ve done mate 😳
username He has fucked up so much!
username I bet she’s devastated, poor girl 🥺
username Every thing is okay, everything is okay, everything is okay… we’re fucked
Text (Blue: Max V) (Orange: Lando)
Look I’ve tried to talk to Y/n but I’ve just fucked it all up I’m sorry
Yeah you can say that again. Mate if you’ve come here trying to get cut of any slack you might want to think again
I know, I just wish I didn’t do it
Yk that girl LOVES you, she has been the happiest she has ever been since she started getting hate but you fucked that up
Yeah
Charlie and I have tried to get her out of her bedroom but nothing so you gotta think of something and fast
I will, I’m sorry
I know you’re sorry, please don’t think that me and Charlie hate you because we don’t
Thank you, she’s lucky to have you guys
We’re just abit annoyed that she has been hurt once again
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Tag list: @eviethetheatrefreak @janeholt3 @raizelchrysanderoctavius @namelesssav @amalialeclerc @eugene-emt-roe @skepvids @ravisinghs-wife
#formula one#formula one x reader#charles leclerc#lando norris#max verstappen#daniel ricciardo#carlos sainz#charles leclerc x reader#lando norris x reader#max verstappen x reader#charles lechair#lando norris imagine#lando norris fanfic#lando norris x you#lando norris x y/n#lando norris fic#red bull formula 1#forza ferrari#mclaren racing
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Orion and the Dark (2024) review
Woah, Jacob Tremblay under went some plastic surgery or something, as he looks mega-different! Was watching an interview with him and Paul Walter Hauser talking about this film, and the kid has hit puberty big time. Now looks like an annoying moody teen. If they reboot Twilight, we’ve found Edward.
Plot: The thing Orion fears the most is the dark. When the embodiment of his worst fear pays a visit, Dark whisks Orion away on a roller-coaster ride around the world to prove there is nothing to be afraid of at night.
What starts as a pretty basic by-the-numbers animated film about how every aspect of life can be scary quickly morphs into something that celebrates the unpredictability of it whilst exploring how balance is essential. The main kid Orion - he’s basically Beau Is Afraid for kids. He gets freaked out by everything, and honestly he was just really sad to watch, and Tremblay is almost too good at portraying the character’s inner fear, making me wonder how much of the real Tremblay is present within Orion. We are treated to an amusing scrapbook montage of Orion’s imagined worst case scenarios, after which the film briskly jumps straight into the nightly events where Dark comes knocking, featuring a delightfully narrated introduction by Werner Herzog. Paul Walter Hauser makes Dark so loveable, turning a concept that is scary for some into a gentle giant with his own doubts and insecurities. The interactions between Orion and Dark are entertaining and amusing, if a bit inconsistent, as every time you think they’re becoming friends, Orion goes back to his fears. It’s all easy digestible family friendly entertainment, even if there were a couple of surprisingly dark, pardon the pun, jokes included throughout.
However it is in the last 20 minutes when the movie does a mad 360 degree turn and switches genres into this crazy multi-generational escapade, as such in the last 10 mins me and my fiancée were questioning momentarily what just happened. Look, as a collective package Orion and the Dark is a basic animation that takes a lot from other movies of its kind, but those last moments or so jarringly mad and out-there that we were shook. That is until I saw who has a screenplay credit and then all made sense. That’s right, one of the writers of this film is Charlie Kaufman. As you may know, Charlie Kaufman’s films scratch at your head and mess with your mind, as his writing fundamentally deconstructs the ways in which it plays with and incorporates narrative structure of the story itself. In a nutshell, his films are surreal and weird, hence why Orion and the Dark’s ending makes all the more sense.
The animation style itself is fun, somewhat similar to Mitchell vs the Machines’ 2D to 3D blend, and a pleasing colour palette with the dark blue and purple environments, however you can tell this is a cheaper budget from DreamWorks, as many times the backgrounds looked too plain and simple, and even the character designs of the nightly entities were not that original or creative. In fact aside from Dark, all the other night sprits were really bland and unmemorable, and one of them was voiced by acting legend Angela Bassett, so that’s saying something.
Overall Orion and the Dark is enjoyable for what it is, but doesn’t really make a strong impression aside from its last mind-bending 10 minutes, and knowing now of Kaufman’s involvement I feel like this movie had the potential of going weirder from the start, but instead is really by-the-numbers and forgettable, and will not be seen as the cure to nyctophobia.
Overall score: 5/10
#orion and the dark#netflix#dreamworks animation#movie#film#movie reviews#film reviews#comedy#adventure#animation#charlie kaufman#jacob tremblay#paul walter hauser#streaming#Orion and the dark review#surreal#angela bassett#2024#2024 films#2024 in film#werner herzog#rob delaney#colin hanks#Sean charmatz#family#fantasy#nyctophobia#fear of the dark
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Where are you?
Rewrite
Chapter 5: escape attempt
Aristotle pov
I’ve got to find a way out of here and fast I’m pretty sure my parents are starting to worry about me they probably think that I’m dead somewhere in a hole or someone kidnapped me I sure hope Jackson and Zachary are ok and alive I need to find a way out of this room they put me in
No one pov
All of a sudden the alarms go off and Aristotle containment cell door opens and Aristotle immediately grabbed their spear and runs out to look for a exit gate but then notices two people that look like Zachary and Jackson Aristotle runs towards the two
Aristotle: Jackson, Zachary is that you two?!
Jackson: Aristotle!!
Zachary and Jackson both hug and Aristotle starts to kiss them
Aristotle: we missed you both so much me and Charlie were looking everywhere for you!
Zachary: we missed you too we thought we would never see you again! 
Aristotle starts kissing Zachary and Jackson then max walks into the hallway they were in
Max: I KNEW IT!!
Jackson:* pushes Aristotle off of itself and blushing* GET OUT
Max: im telling mom and dad
Jackson: mom and dad already know that I’m dating them
Max: fine I guess I’ll leave 
Max leaves the hallway 
Zachary:* starts laughing* that was funny
Jackson: it kind of was, but my brother is annoying 
Aristotle: that’s ok we probably should run so we don’t get caught
Jackson: yea we need to get out of this place
Zachary, Jackson and Aristotle start running
Jackson: I think there is an exit up north where we can escape
Aristotle: ok should we find somewhere to hide? I think I hear somebody.
Zachary: quick get behind something
Jackson, Zachary and Aristotle hide behind some boxes
A few guards go into the room and then leave and Aristotle, Zachary and Jackson come out form hiding
Zachary; how did you get captured Aristotle? 
Aristotle: I was running around and looking for you then somebody just grabbed me and put me in a truck
Jackson: is your Sister or your parents here?
Aristotle: no I don’t think so I haven’t seen them anywhere
Zachary: well hopefully these psychopath didnt catch them because they got my sister and Jackson’s parents, brother and sister 
Jackson: don’t worry they are ok
All of a sudden they hear gun shots and Aristotle covers Zachary and Jackson with their wings
Jackson: Aristotle what are you doing?!
Aristotle: protecting the both of you!!
Zachary: but your probably going to die!
Aristotle: I’m dead anyway I’ll be fine
All of a sudden a mtf guard knocks them all out
Jackson pov
I don’t have any idea what is going on I can’t move I can’t feel anything i know that they are going to take me back to my room or they are performing a experiment on me while I’m sleeping maybe they are hurting Aristotle and Zachary I really hope not
Meanwhile, with lavender
Lavender pov
I know this is a bad idea but I going to go look for Aristotle but I’m getting really worried about them I don’t want them to die I love my older sibling I hope I don’t get captured to my mom and dad said that I shouldn’t go outside because I might get caught
A few hours later lavender sits down on a bench and falls asleep
Agent yui: well this is going to be easy
Agent vittorio:* gets out the truck* well now we need to get the plague doctor and the possessive mask and then we can finally not worry about this
Agent Yui; well their is one more
Agent vittorio: what? 
Agent yui: well SCP 682 and SCP 079 had or I guess built a kid
Agent Vittorio: I know but that f**ker is very sneaky Every time we try to find him he always disappears.
Agent yui: I know but we still need to catch him
Agent vittorio:* picks up lavender and puts her in the back of the truck* well let’s go after him then
Agent yui: after we drop off this kid at the foundation 
A few hours later lavender wakes up in a cell
Lavender:* rubbing her eyes* where am I? 
Dr Feng min: you are in a containment cell
Lavender: I can see that but what building am I in?
Dr Feng min: you are in a special facility that keeps monsters like you form hurting humanity
Lavender: what?! I would never hurt anyone!
Dr Feng min: don’t you dare try your manipulation tactics on me it’s not gonna work!
Lavender: fine
Lavender pov
I don’t know what happened but it was sleeping on a bench and now I’m here trapped in a room with metal walls and I still don’t know where Aristotle is I’m pretty sure they are dead in a hole somewhere I need to get out of here and fast
End of chapter

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Ain't that the truth! I almost became a teacher only to switch majors in college because my aunt (who was a kindergarden teacher until she retired) told me that all of the stuff you learn in the classes to become a teacher never gets used afterwards.
Lol oh very true! Though I gotta give Zac props on building his singing voice to go from having to be dubbed by Drew Seeley to being considered good enough to duet with Hugh Freaking Jackman!
Well Zac and Charlie are the same height (5'8") so the table would be needed! 🤣 And yeah, Julie is the sole exception to Luke's love of music because as he said, no music's worth playing if it's not with her.
Ah yeah I saw that on Twitter. Don't know how I feel with them not requiring testing or masks since cases are on the rise in Europe but hopefully people will use good judgement.
So the queue is like the seating arrangements when they said you could email to sit by friends (higher passes could sit in the lower zones but the lower passes couldn't sit in the higher zones).
Why...why wouldn't you want the poster signed?
Good to know about the public transport but I'll likely be taking a cab anyway (I got a hotel about 30 mins away from the convention center because I got a good deal on it through my job).
Fingers crossed we'll get something about discounts though my wallet is definitely happy for the break lol.
Oh did you see the tweet from the person raising money for the Cameron Boyce foundation? I hope they make their goal (they said it was $800 this year because they raised $600 last year) but they're closing it soon and they were at $500 last I checked. Though they've got 5 days to go so hopefully they can get that extra $300 to make their goal :D
Oh wow! You're going to be doing a lot of travel!
I have a cousin who is about to become a teacher (for high school, I think), and yeah, I don't envy her. Although, she'll make more money than Mr. Bolton. The minimum wage for newbies (who have passed the exam) on the job is 50,000€. (Still not enough money cause some schools are warzones.)
Yeah, sure, it's an achievement for him. On the other hand, the problem with Zac in the first movie was that his singing voice didn't work with the songs. (The songs were probably already written when the casting happened, so they couldn't make any adjustments.) With the later movies, they could write songs that suited his voice.
(Oh gosh, they are so tiny. And Madi and Vanessa are even smaller. I'm still very concerned about the photos with them.😅)
Yeah, I'm also not sure. On the one hand, it's nice that you don't have to worry about what happens if you are positive. On the other hand, it's risky. But their hands are probably tied since there are no Covid regulations in France anymore. 🫤
Yeah, exactly like the seating. Well, enhances your chances of getting everything done. 🤞
Because I have to do a lot of traveling after the con and a poster is so unhandy and easy to damage. Also, I already have a few autographs, and they are photo-sized, so the poster wouldn't fit in. But I'll decide later.
Ok, when your hotel is that far away. Mine's within walking distance. However, because of this, I just checked the way from the airport to the city, and there's a disruption too. 😑 So either bus or taxi. (I hate buses, I hate taxis.😅)
🤞🤞🤞
Yeah, I did. And I already donated. I hope they can raise the money. But with inflation going on … it won't be easy. Would be nice if they got $600 at least. 🤞 Kenny looked so happy when he was informed about it.
Yup. Lot of travel. However, once I'm home, I have an entire weekend to recharge (with the new Pokemon game🤩).
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imma keep it real with you the real reason i havent posted any heartstopper art since 2017 is because i have no idea how to draw nick
#i just.. cannot. i cant. i dont know how#and trust me i have TRIED i post like maybe 5% of the art i make lol#it doesnt matter what i do it either doesnt look like nick or it does somewhat look like nick but it's UGLIE#charlie? easy. takes me 5 mins.#nick? 3 hours and 14 photo references later i am crying and i still do not know who this man is#personal
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January Learning Journal - 1
2021′s Theme: Perfection
Part 1 - From My Daily Reflections Journal
Psychology - Dealing with Others:
1. Be more patient with others - How do I do that? A blog post suggested that I 1) make myself wait; 2) stop doing things that are less important; 3) be mindful of the things making you impatient; 4) take a deep breath >> Maybe these tips work, but I’ve noticed that diverting my attention also works - because I do not realize that I am waiting for something anymore.
2. Do not argue or fight with others - Most of the time, you can’t change somebody else’s opinions. Even if you do, why does it matter that this person is smarter? He/she won’t even appreciate you for it. It’s completely a waste of your own time.
3. Do not stay with a person if you don’t want to - This is very obvious from another person’s perspective, but it was not clear to me at all when I was dating Frank. Our relationship was like hell - we fought all the time. Living with him brought a lot of conflict. >> Moving out takes courage, but it’s worth it - peace saves your time. >> This time, going back to Shanghai, I need to 1. mail things back home; 2. stay in Nanjing for a while; 3. look for a new Airbnb to live when coming back; 4. stay out in a café/library as long as possible; You are everything you need.
4. Do not believe that you know how the other person thinks - Honestly, you aren’t even sure what you think half of the time. Do not just guess what the other person meant based on his or her behavior. Ask, communicate, smile. Do not be afraid.
Psychology - Habits:
1. Risk-taking behavior - I chose to take on a ranked game on Jan. 1st, when I could’ve chosen a matched game, which I could exit at any point. As a result, I became very dizzy because of playing the game on the taxi. It’s bizarre that I made such a choice when I knew it was not going to end well. >> Therefore, I need to make “a man of caution” a habit. >> What does that mean? Think about possible risks and things that could go wrong before planning your day, week, or even month. Be honest with yourself.
2. Play less game/social medias, Read more news - It’s fairly easy for me to give up games when I started interning - a change of environment is important - it’s like going to a rehab. >> Therefore, set up an environment where I could absorb news better - playing the news as background music when I eat + read more successful people’s habits (Warren Buffett’s daily habit of reading five newspaper)
3. Be flexible with your habits - yes, you have 30+ habits to complete each day, but you don’t have to do all of it in full length; remember to be flexible with your plans - the point is to repeat!
4. Do not ignore the things you don’t understand - if you don’t understand something, take some notes; you need to remember what you don’t know and try to solve it later; if you keep ignoring, you will never grow.
5. Do not own an opinion before you have the majority of facts - Like Charlie Munger said, if you can’t answer possible oppositions, you can’t really defend your own opinions; practice reverse thinking, what would a person who’s against my opinion say? Don’t jump into conclusion just to show off your intellect.
Psychology - Personal Finances:
1. If you’re buying a lot of things (more than 3), ask yourself if you really need that many items - Sometimes you may need them for an upgrade, but most of the time you’re just in consumerism’s trap. Ask yourself if it’s really necessary.
Physiology - Health:
1. Do not indulge myself in sleep - sometimes sleeping more feels more horrible than sleeping less or feeling sleepy >> Do something energizing to wake myself up - jump up and down, exercising, drink some water, read some celebrities news, watch videos - the last two are more addicting than energizing.
2. Stomach Sickness - Do not eat raw food in China (cook it longer in the hotpot); Do not eat food that’s very spicy; Do not eat too much (Eating less is better than eating more); Do not drink too much alcohol - maybe just pretend drinking alcohol.
3. UTI - I’ve gotten UTI multiple times in the past. I’ve finally cured it this time - taking the medicine up to ten days really cleared the things up; remember to always wash yourself and the person who you’re sleeping with - before and after sex; drink a lot of water everyday
Work-Related:
1. Set up some routines at your workplace - Do not just work, work, work - you’re not Rihanna. For example, when you arrive at the office, fill up your water bottle; after lunch, go to the bathroom to put more lipstick on, have some eye drop; rest and get up to walk a bit every hour or two.
2. Focus on your task wastes less energy than browsing on the internet - this is a hard lesson to learn - when I actually focus and try to enjoy my work, I feel less tired at the end of the day.
3. Do no complain about anyone or any work - 1. the person would probably know; 2. you don’t know the full story. If you do have to complain, complain to your friends, or your mother, do not complain to your coworkers.
4. Always triple-check things before you submit - if you feel that you’re rushing towards the finish line, please calm down and check everything; try to divert your attention before checking so that you’re more calm.
5. Do not let laziness (browsing the internet) become a habit - It’s easy to escape from what we really want to accomplish, but it’s not what we desire in the long-term. Remember why you came to work/intern in the first place; take a hard look on yourself to see if you’ve really grown.
6. Do not go the hard way, go the smart way - Your boss does not care how much time you spend on each task; he or she only cares about the results >> therefore, you should be proud that you spend minimal time on a task instead of maximal time.
7. Keep your habits even if it seems like a waste of time - When you’re really tired of work, and you’re in emotional distress, restore your habits to retrieve some balance and sanity in your life. It may sound like a waste of time in your head, but that’s what brings back energy (You can always do the 2-min version of your habits).
Love, Natalie
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Legend of the Crystal Skull Review:
SPOILERS AHEAD!!!!!!
Atmosphere/Layout:
I loved this game so much! The Nancy Drew games are always stellar at placing you in the world of the game. I have yet to play a series that really roots you in its atmosphere. CRY delivered that at another level. I’ve been to New Orleans, and this game took me back to that trip. I loved how everything in the house was slightly crooked to reflect the kookiness of Bruno Bolet, as well as make things more eerie. I remember how the intro to the game scared me as a kid, yes, I got scared of the Skeleton man as a kid. Imagine freaking out to the skeleton man attack and then cutting to Renee’s creepy eyes as a kid! Even as an adult, Renee’s eyes creep me out, and no way was I ever going to drink that concoction! This game has a lot of odd things that you can eat: mysterious beverage that may or may not kill you, chocolate that definitely will, and expired bubble gum that surprisingly does not kill you. Okay, back to atmosphere. The ambience of the game was consistent, even when you played Bess’s portions which was supposed to take you away from the eeriness of the Bolet house for a bit. The rain effect and the semi-dark state of the house because of the electricity outage definitely amped up the fear and creepiness. You definitely took cautious steps in and out of the house. The graveyard. THE GRAVEYARD. THE GRAVEYARD. I think the exploration of the graveyard might be my favourite exploration spots of all the games. I love how you can see Nancy’s silhouette and hear her shoes as she traversed the grave. It was big enough to pique curiosity, but not so big that you would get lost. I also appreciated how every grave section had its own design as it made things more memorable. I know some people didn’t like the graveyard scavenger hunt, but I relished it! The earlier games (1-5) had this slight ruthlessness to the game play. There was a slight edge that kept the reader hooked and just a touch fearful, and this game maintained that edge. I really appreciated that, especially since it would pater out a bit in later games.
Music:
This game has one of the best tracks: “Legend”. That alone should put it as a game with an amazing music score, but no, they had to add other titles like “Chatter” and “Bruno”. As someone who loves Jazz, I digged this score. So often I would stop and just listen to the music, and could feel myself get pumped whenever “Legend” would play. Honestly, why hasn’t someone created a Nancy Drew Ambience record yet? The jazz music was a nice contrast to the shadowy layout which added to the “everything is slightly unhinged” element of the game. But man, when the danger music would play, I would get chills. Especially when you’re in Renee’s room or in Bruno’s secret room. Surprisingly those two rooms creeped me more then the graveyard!
I also loved the little noises like the sound of rain, or the way the rain hit the windows. Nancy’s heels as she walked through the graves. The skeletal hand for Charlie’s puzzle. The sound Henry’s chair makes when he moves. Etc. etc.
Characters:
Nancy was amazing as usual. It surprises me how she remains unfazed by everything, but I love that side of her. Bess felt a bit out of character with her resistance to participating in snooping. Usually she’s dying to know what’s up, or help Nancy out, but she wasn’t this time. Still, got to had it too her. Not many friends would sneak into a private meeting and demand her rights despite being surrounded by creepy skeletal men. Some of you might scoff, but y’all would be crapping your pants if you were in the same situation.
So since you technically didn’t know there would be a mystery, it made sense that there were only 3 suspects. I like how Nancy doesn’t start out with an investigation. She mostly wants to figure out who the skeletal man was and why he attacked her, and how that simple curiosity leads her to the crystal skull. It’s a nice progression of plot.
Henry: Henry Bolet is handsome. I know some people might not like the arm sleeve thing or painted nails, but it’s 2020, it’s called aesthetic! Her Interactive over here creating male characters who want to paint their nails way before popular culture accepted it/picked up on it. Haters be jealous. I’m kidding. But still, I loved how much depth they put into this character. How with so little, you understood his character. When he complains about how Bruno sent him away as a child, it revealed that Henry is someone who really needs family. He’s aware his emotional needs are higher than the average person, not because he lost his parents, but just who he is by nature. It also makes his attachment to Summer make more sense. We can easily surmise that Summer was probably the first person to give Henry the emotional security he needed, but that it was clearly done for her own selfish desires. Henry’s inability/or refusal to see it also makes more sense. That being said, the moment we learn about Summer, it takes Henry off the suspect list. Up till then, the game does a good job at making him seem suspicious do to his dealings with Lamont. It’s not a bad thing, but since we only have 3 suspects, his removal immediately makes the culprit an easy 50-50 guess. Not to mention the fact that after blackmailing him (which was kind of mean of Nancy to do to someone who is already being emotionally abused by his girlfriend) he gets sidelined for the rest of the game despite there being a good chunk left to play.
Renee: Classic sweet but deadly suspect. Love how the game kept her super suspicious from the way she acted to the way she would emphasize things. For example, I found it so odd that she remembered the exact percentage of who would receive what in the will, like she had been mulling over that. And the way she ends with mentioning that she was to receive 10% compared to the others getting 30%, so subtle a remark yet it catches the ear of any good detective. And of course, the room and her interest in the occult made the suspicion grow. Unfortunately, I found the whole part about authenticating the skull a bit lackluster and kind of gives the culprit away. I mean Renee said “I wanted to find the skull” when Nancy confronts her about hiding information. After such a confession, wouldn’t the obvious follow up question be “why?”. I can only guess they included this to hype up the “chase” for the skull since we know the Dr. Buford is also looking for it, but the game didn’t really deliver on the urgency so this felt like a lackluster confession. It also came close to the end of the game, so when Renee appeared at the end it wasn’t surprising. Nancy’s faith in Renee was odd, and the fact that she just tossed up the skull—face slap! Nancy, she literally confessed 10 min ago, did you forget!? The ending was nice. I liked how she “forgot” to tell Nancy about Bernie (so malicious!), but then actually forgot that Bernie was in the water.
Dr. Buford: He was interesting. Seems nice and charming, but the more we learn about Bruno’s death, the suspicious he becomes. Love how Bess worries about Buford coming back to take the skull. I still don’t understand what exactly the skeletal society does, other then being pirate fans, but I liked the costumes.
Puzzles:
I love a healthy balance between puzzles and dialogue and this game delivered on that. The dialogue was nicely spaced out throughout the game and added to the characters. Each character had their own way of talking and phrases that stayed true to their character. The one exception is Henry’s “I’ve been naughty but I’ll be nice now” line which threw me off so hard. HELLO?? WHY IS NO ONE TALKING ABOUT THIS! It’s so random for a college/uni person to say this. Actually, who says this?? I’ll be honest, my mind went a bit dark and wondered just how bad was Summer abusing him for such a dialogue to come out of him……. poor Henry.
But back to the puzzles. I honestly loved most of the puzzles. I know the bowling ball machine (the one where you have to roll all eyes) annoys people, but I enjoyed it. I also know the graveyard scavenger hunt bored people, but I love puns, and l loved the layout of the house and graveyard so much that running back and forth was so much fun. Solving the clock puzzle and teeth puzzle was also fun, and they made me feel like a genius. The first part of the buzzard puzzle wasn’t bad, it was just annoying to have to turn back and see what affect each gargoyle bird did. The book mentioned that the sounds the gargoyle’s made was important, but I didn’t catch anything. I also liked how the final puzzle was a puzzle that built throughout the game. You didn’t know the eye puzzle would be the final big puzzle, but every little puzzle played a role in being a part of the final puzzle. I just thought that was cool, I like interconnected stuff.
There were three puzzles I did not like. The first was with Bess and the box she had to open. The clue was Hamlet and some numbers. I thought that you had to call Nancy and have her check the library for Hamlet and look up those reference numbers. What was the point of writing Hamlet? Nowhere in the letter did it mention that you have to associate the letter to the number and type out what it spells. Also, it did not mention that you had to restart the counting every time! I had to go online for help with this puzzle. The second puzzle was the second part of the buzzard puzzle. After getting the key, which you don’t get a good look at, you’re supposed to use them on the gargoyles. But I didn’t get that, plus the emblem on each gargoyle was just a feather with notches, so how do you know that the key goes there??? Finally, I hated the wasp puzzle. It was annoying and I don’t know why Nancy didn’t take a handful of loquats at once!
Graphics:
They really hold up despite being 13 years old. Sure, it’s a bit weird around the eyes and mouth, but the rest is stellar. Also, I love how they added in certain quirks that matched each character’s personality. Like Henry kicking his legs up to show he’s someone who doesn’t care about bending the rules, little rebellious. But then the fact that he sits proper when talking shows that he’s not so rebellious and is actually trying to be professional. Also shows the contesting sides of his emotional needs and the military training he would have received. Renee’s position over her pots show that she’s someone tricks you into thinking that she loves to work with her hands (lol, end game “this girl just handed me the skull”. I told you I love puns). It also shows that she prioritizes the small things, and the fact that she’s potting despite being recently laid off (she’s the only character still working despite Bruno’s death) makes her a bit unnerving. Dr. Buford at the French quarters show that he’s someone of charm. Etc. etc.
Plot:
Like I said, loved the slow buildup of plot—how one thing led to another. Don’t know why Ned sent Nancy to do his work, but okay…
The Summer plotline felt like it got accidentally dropped. Like the writers forgot to finish it. Even if it’s just Nancy telling Henry that what he has isn’t healthy/good, or something in the end credits where he finally broke up with her. For all we know, they could still be together.
The introduction of the magical qualities of the skull and Bruno’s death was weird. I like how Bruno’s death became questioned, but while his desire for the skull kind of made sense, it didn’t make sense why Buford or Renee wanted it. It still wasn’t clear at the endgame either. I guess there’s the financial prospect, but that subplot kind of pattered out in favour for the magical plot. It also didn’t make sense that Bruno wanted it for Henry, because let’s be real, he wasn’t a good guardian. It really did seem like Bruno didn’t care for Henry. I mean, why give your nephew a skull instead of what he really wanted/needed, a friend. You can take this a bit darker when you realize that Bruno was giving Henry monetary comfort over emotional comfort and that Henry by end game has come to associate monetary gift to be equivalent to emotional gifts, which just makes his relationship with Summer get even darker.
Overall, this was a great game. 10/10. One of my favourites and would play again and again. That’s why I bought it, lol!
~Dare to Snoop
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college crash course #3: deadlines and daily tasks, aka getting shit done on time
I hate online courses. I just do. Everyone else in my life loves them and scrambles for the chance to stay home in their pjs as they do their work. My brain, however, cannot for the life of me remember to complete tasks with no outside input, and so every single class I’ve gotten a low grade on in my college career has been an online class, without fail. I need structure to thrive, as do most adhd people (especially those in college) and so
What’s the solution here? What works best?
I have a couple strategies for this that work in tandem, so here they are
Strategy 1: Daily Task Sheets
on my desk I have at least 12 different types of sticky notes for different uses. Nothing so intense as color coding or organizing that way, I mean one for little positivity reminders and a smaller one for words I like and want to include in my writing and another larger one for little sketches to do as I work, etc etc.
One of these stacks of sticky notes is large and neon and used specifically for daily task lists. I have an app for larger scale lists and things that need to be done in general, but every day before I start working I sit down at my desk, pull off one of my big sticky notes, and write down a checklist of everything I need to do today (or, on the weekends, everything that needs doing before Monday).
I break these tasks down to chunks that are palatable for me, ie right now I have one task that reads “300-400p Existence” aka my quick notation for having to read 100 pages of a novel for class, and another separate task that says “400-500p Existence” because seeing 300-500 would make it Too Big and my brain would throw a tantrum and not do it.
I also put down tasks that will literally take me three seconds, like checking to see if I have unexpected homework for a class that rarely has actual work to do, or replying to an email from someone. Any task that needs doing goes on the list.
(I do this for a couple reasons, actually. One is because if I don’t write it down, I won’t remember it and it won’t get done, but the more important reason is that the more items I see checked off, the more I’ve gotten done and the better my brain will cooperate because see? we’re being productive! and my brain responds with that sweet sweet dopamine.)
When I’m checking stuff off (and this is the important part) I don’t just put a checkmark and move on. At a quick glance, then, it looks like nothing is done, because the boxes are all still mostly empty. I completely fill in each box, and sometimes when it’s going really slow I liberally cross off every item as I finish them so I can’t see the words anymore at all so I know I did stuff. The easier it is to see and process how much I’ve done, the better.
(it’s also important that it’s a sticky note, as well, because regular pieces of paper are Extra Things that will get lost, sticky notes can move and stay with me if i have to go somewhere else to go print something, for example. I can just peel it off my desk, stick it on my laptop, and go)
Strategy 2: Storing and Collecting Tasks
so Charlie, you might ask, how the heck do you know what needs to be done each day? How do you remember these tasks to do? Well this strategy is actually thanks to Ryan, my guy in student disability services. He showed me this app that I’m about to show y’all to make your lives a million times easier.
but first, let me explain. When making my daily task sticky notes, there’s no way I’d be able to remember everything I have to do on the top of my head, right? So really when I first sit down I open my laptop, check on my phone real quick how many emails I need to respond to (but don’t respond yet) and open up my college’s online system Canvas to make sure I don’t have any new announcements, not checking anything else yet. Then I grab my phone and open up my shiny new app: IKE
its a productivity app based on the Eisenhower model of task orientation, splitting up tasks into four categories: Important and Urgent, Important but Not Urgent, Urgent but Not Important, and Not Important or Urgent. You can rename these categories as you choose (they choose to name them, in order, Focus, Goals, Fit In, and Backburner, but I’ve changed them to Do Now, Soonish, 5 Min Tasks, and kept Backburner, but you do you)
Now you can choose to completely forego the IKE model and just use it as four different lists of things, but IKE also has a solution for that which is different lists as well as different categories within these lists. So the four categories above apply to all the different lists, which it displays in a cute four square style that tells you how many tasks are there, but doesn’t tell you what they are until you open the category, and has a quick task adding feature where you drag a circle from the center of the four corners into whichever list you’re going for and make the task right then. But for the lists they’re all separate and can all be different colors depending on what they’re for, that’s all up to you.
Now how does this seemingly complex system work for you, Charlie, who’s brain has the max processing power of a four year old on speed most days? you may ask
well it actually makes it super easy to put everything in, and if I put a task in the wrong spot I can move it easily, plus I can add due dates if I want, or a million reminders at all times of day if I want, but the main deal is that it’s a holding place for everything I need to do. When writing my daily list, I check my Do Now category first in all my lists (I have one for Uni, one for my student org I run, and one for any extra tasks that need done) and write all those in. Then I go to the 5 Min Tasks category of only the Uni and Extra tasks lists and add those in, and then I’m good for the day and I can start it all
As for getting the tasks in there, I paid the extra one time 99cent charge to get the widget for my home screen on my phone, and whenever I hear someone ask me to do something, I shove the task in there. My mom asks me off handedly to do the dishes? I throw it in with a reminder every half hour until I complete it. Someone asks me to send some emails? throw them in the 5 min category and tell it to remind me when I get to my computer (because it can do that, too, location based reminders for when you arrive or leave somewhere, which is great for reminding myself to pick something up on my way home from uni)
Strategy 3: Accountability
I don’t live alone, I never have, so part of my strategy as well is to have people I live with hold me accountable. Not in like a “you’re my minder now, hover over my desk to make sure I work” kind of way, but in a way that I tell someone who will be around what I have to do that day in a casual way - me and my roommates used to run through everything after we were all home from class, me and my mom tell our days to each other each morning since we both have trouble keeping on task - then when someone sees me doing something not on my list they ask me about it, which reminds me of what I need to be doing.
for example, if I mention to my sister that I need to read, send emails, and write a paper today, then if she sees me watching tv or on my phone she’ll ask me what’s up, did I finish my shit yet? which then spurs my brain into ��fuck, I got off track, time to jump back in” mode.
If you live alone, the best way to do this is to make a post about being busy or texting someone that you have a lot of stuff to do, then if they see you on social media or if you get stuck in a conversation with them, they’ll call you out.
ADHD brains need constant call outs because we can’t tell when we’ve gone off track and followed tangents because our brain just wants dopamine and doesn’t care where it comes from, so it won’t question it once it gets what it wants, whereever that comes from.
so - tl;dr I shove any task I get into an app (if you’re not an app person, just make notes on your phone or put it in your calendar or voice recordings or whatever works best for your brain that you’ll remember to check) and unload all the tasks onto a smaller more streamlined daily task list that I write and check off each day, and make sure there’s someone that knows what I’m not supposed to be doing so they’ll call me out when I get off task for too long.
Now go forth and get shit accomplished! I believe in you!
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a note about women’s month 💘
thank you to everyone who voted in the fave female panelists poll this year! last year was a blast and this year was even better! we’ve seen more woman on tv this year — and some improved, though grossly insufficient, diversity within that — and i love celebrating that with you everyday!
last year, i wrote this:
the lack of diversity in british comedy is an alarming issue that has only recently become headline news. statistics presented by this study, based on 50 years of panel shows and over 4,700 individual episodes, are beyond disappointing for women (here is an easy-to-read graph by series & by year); similar disappointment stems from the lineups at popular comedy festivals, like edinburgh. in 2014, the head of tv at the bbc promised to end all-male comedy shows, a “step in the right direction” that hasn’t been without fear of tokenism, fair criticism as well as some naysayers. women, people of colour, lgbt peoples, those differently-abled and those all of the above and in between are just as funny as cis-identifying white men and deserve a place on our screens. watch their standup, buy their books, stream their videos, listen to their podcasts, comment on and like their content, follow their social media. this support can directly help women become more visible in british comedy.
in the last year, have you been actively conscious of supporting women in comedy? i’d like to take a moment to talk about some ways you can do that :)
➡ from feminist discourse to tales of humans & their dogs to ghost stories, these women are providing some of the most touching, stimulating, and funny reading coming out of comedy:
How to be Champion: My Autobiography by Sarah Millican
Animal: The Autobiography of a Female Body by Sara Pascoe
The Guilty Feminist: From our noble goals to our worst hypocrisies by Deborah Frances-White
The Actual One: How I Tried, and Failed, to Avoid Adulthood Forever by Isy Suttie
Cheer Up Love: Adventures in Depression with the Crab of Hate by Susan Calman
The More You Ignore Me by Jo Brand
Can't Stand Up for Sitting Down: A Memoir by Jo Brand
Look Back in Hunger: The Autobiography by Jo Brand
Born Lippy: How to Do Female by Jo Brand
Is It Just Me? by Miranda Hart
Peggy & Me by Miranda Hart
Nina Is Not OK by Shappi Khorsandi
A Beginner's Guide to Acting English: A Memoir by Shappi Khorsandi
Spectacles: A Memoir by Sue Perkins
East of Croydon: Blunderings through India and South East Asia by Sue Perkins
Once More, with Feeling: How We Tried to Make the Greatest Porn Film Ever by Victoria Coren Mitchell and Charlie Skelton
For Richer, For Poorer: A Love Affair with Poker by Victoria Coren Mitchell
Dead Funny: Horror Stories by Comedians featuring Sara Pascoe, Katy Brand, and Danielle Ward
...and that’s just to name a handful! my fingers would need a 5 min power nap if i tried typing out all of susie dent’s books 💪
➡ this is a list of a lot relevant active podcasts coming out of britain right now (though it is missing, most notably, off menu). for example, if you liked alice levine on taskmaster, why not listen to her podcast? or watch/listen her on rhlstp? this is such a fun way to get more deeply involved in the comedy of some of your favourite ladies! might i recommend isy suttie’s the things we do for love, anneka harry’s brown bread, or box set go! with nicola stephenson (the newest ep features rebecca front!)? most of these are free, or they can be found/requested at /r/notapanelshow
p.s. suzi ruffell, rosie jones, tiff stevenson and more are scheduled to appear on rhlstp this season 😍
➡ here is a list of some radio programmes currently on the air. while it does look stacked with men (because it is), women do feature on so many of these series and absolutely smash it! did you know sandi toksvig hosted the news quiz for almost ten years, and its regular panelists include susan calman, rebecca front, zoe lyons, and more? or that victoria coren mitchell has hosted heresy since 2006 (because there’s nothing she can’t do)? or that sarah millican, jo brand, and sally phillips have each hosted series of the museum of curiosity? these are all on the masterpost! 👏
p.s. you can always search for and/or request more radio shows at /r/panelshow or, if they’re not panel radio shows, /r/notapanelshow :)
➡ social 👏 media 👏 determines 👏 relevancy 👏 do i agree with this system? no. is this the system entertainers are currently slaves to? yes. do you follow your favourite women on twitter, instagram, youtube, etc? one click. one like. one retweet. one reblog. here is a list of some of the comedians i follow on twitter to get you started — all of your faves are on there! when you like something they are on, tweet about it! tag them, the network, the channel, use the hashtags, post pictures! tell channels like dave or people like richard osman who your faves are, who deserves more exposure, who you want to see in the future! we’re already obsessing over how much we like these ladies anyways, so why not make that obsession even more visibile?
➡ we have a really sweet, modest community here of at least 10,000 people. this is not something i’ve ever talked about because i don’t want what i’m going to say to be misconstrued as begging for notes — that is not my concern. but you may have heard people on this site talk about something called the like/reblog ratio. a lot of creators are concerned that, apart from tumblr’s ever-evolving ludicrous algorithms murdering their visibility, people are so obsessed with their blog aesthetics that they’re not actually reblogging everything they like. here’s a couple of my gifset details, one from a nicher post and one from a more popular post:
while i appreciate any notes, numbers likes these aren’t always encouraging. i’m not here to tell you how to enjoy your spare time and interests, or to criticise people who enjoy aesthetic. i just want to point out that if you want someone to be successful, you play a direct part in promoting them and spreading their art. as the years pass, this becomes more and more true. i know how much you all love these ladies — i get messages about them every single day — but it’s a simple fact that a gifset of james acaster or noel fielding or richard ayoade or david mitchell is going to get more notes than a post about any of the women who placed in the top 5 of this poll. i am not bringing this up to this make anyone feel guilty about what they enjoy; i only hope my mentioning this encourages you to be conscientious when participating on social media, especially when your interest lies in the products of a grossly unjust industry that is taking a lot fucking time to get itself on the right track. more followers on a comedian’s twitter = more work for that comedian, because that’s simply the direction the film & tv industry is going. if your follow yields that much power, why not use it for good?
please support women. if you buy one of their books, please message me and tell me which one! if you think one of them is shining on a radio programme and we’re sleeping on her, please let me know (timestamps appreciated!)! if one starts a gofundme or patreon to start a podcast or a tour, please donate 50p and then send me the link! there is always more we can be doing and we are always underestimating what even smallest amount of support means for their bigger picture. i don’t have all the answers, but i love the feeling i get when i believe society is evolving in the right direction. rose matafeo won the edinburgh comedy award in 2018, and sarah keyworth and kiri pritchard-mclean took the top awards at the 2019 chortle awards. women are here to stay and they’re fucking killing it. because duh ❣️
if you took the time to read this, i appreciate you x
#female top 5#p#p.s. will post the top 5 results tomorrow and then it's back to our regularly scheduled programming...!
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Binging with Babish: Squash and Beef from It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia [source]
“This week, the gang is squashing their beefs, a turn of phrase that Charlie takes too literally, leaving the door wide open for me to recreate it. It's almost too easy. Can we squash our beefs while enjoying some slightly more refined squash and beef? Probably, yeah!” [5 min 2 sec]
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Glossy remake of ‘me’!
For those who don’t know me, I am a world famous comedian. I have done stand up in every country on this planet. Its your fault you never made it to any of my shows.
I have just returned from Dubai. Lived there for 2 years. Everything you think or know about this city is true. It is a terrible place to be. Absolutely scary for women. It’s true. You’ve been right all this time. Women have no rights in Dubai. At all. It’s tough. Men on the other hand, have a tremendous life. Especially, if you are a straight brown man. I will give you an example. If you go to any starbucks in Dubai, prove that you are a man - you get free coffee. If you are able to grow a beard, like I have, you get 50% discount in alcohol purchases. If you pray 5 times a day, you get a playboy delivered to your homes. It is awesome! Women, unfortunately, they don’t even get read a playboy. Because, Dubai women can’t read.
I am not married. I intend to someday. Go through this beautiful process of self indulgence to inevitable gloom and death. Yeah, I wanna sign up for that! I am not married but I do have a girlfriend. It’s funny, in Dubai men can have upto 4 wives. Can you believe it? 4 Wives?! I would rather be a neo-Nazi. Okay. Okay. You may think this is a joke in bad taste but believe me, it’s not. it’s not a joke. I would actually get a skin pigment alteration, get a bunch of tattoos, chant anti-semitic slogans and all those “White is right” catch phrases, than have 4 wives; which by the way, so dumb some of them, seriously. They need a creative marketing team to join them. For realz! My girlfriend has a Marketing degree. I keep telling her, babe, you have this incredible opportunity to do some really creative work for them. You’re smart, matching qualifications, a boyfriend who is an aspiring neo-nazi and the biggest skillset of all.. YOU ARE WHITE. She slapped me, took my cat and left me all by myself in Dubai. Can you believe it? I was just trying to look after her. I mean, there is nothing called good companionship anymore.
Okay. I am not an aspiring neo-Nazi but also I don’t want 4 wives. I mean, there are some technical concerns; the top one being, I do not belong to the Islamic faith. I was born a HinJew - I mean, Hindu. For the lay men, Hindu is the shorter version of Hinduism. Like Buddy for Buddhism. Did you know that? Or Sex for Sexism. Did you know that either? I doubt it. Don’t pretend you did.
Hinduism, folks believe a marriage is between any two creatures or objects. I am serious. Hinduism is, for a lack of better word, DOPE. There are ancient manuscripts of homosexual conduct in Hindu mythology from 3000 years ago. One of the 33 million Gods in Hinduism is transgender. Manuscripts reading suggestions around practice anal sex in certain Hindu kingdoms. On top of that, marriage is not just between a man and a woman (or multiple women in some cases). You can get married to a dog or a tree or a book. Even in this day and age, people do that, CAN YOU BELIEVE IT? You have ceremonial Alcohol. You have ceremonial weed. WTF! I am so not making full use of my religion in any shape or form. Jesus Christ!
Yeah, so when I arrived in the Middle East, I was curious, what would it be for men who are not married. Can they have 4 girlfriends instead? Turns out you can. In Dubai, you need a NOC from your employer, obviously. Keep your employers in the loop. In rest of the world, you can have 4 girlfriends. But you have to be smart. I was not. I got the NOC. And guess what, I have 4 girlfriends. Obviously, it goes without saying, I have the most racially and culturally balanced relationship(s). But due to economic conditions, I had to let one go, with a pretty hefty redundancy package.
Yeah, I am not a good guy, you might think. But I am not a bad guy either. Reason I say that so boldly is that I have a particular problem, which makes me believe that. I can’t say NO. Let me tell you a story. My very first house party in Dubai, I was completely smashed. Remember the 50% discount? Yeah. And so was my buddy, Moh, offered me a ride home. I had met him in the party. He is a good guy. Egyptian, beautiful hair, amazing accent, <mimicking Russian accent>”My name is Mohm. Osama Kassab”. A bit Russian. Yeah, that is his name. Moh. Osama, Kassab. Let me dissect that for you. In reverse order. Kassab was the Pakistani terrorist who was responsible for 26/11, who attacked Mumbai. Osama, is bit of a celebrity in America. 9/11, #neverforget. And Mohm., who’s birthday in 2019 is supposed to be on 9/11 (November 9th). Wow. Did I just add a new conspiracy theory? Baseline, 11? Never mind, so this chap, M.O.K was wasted like Charlie Sheen was while he was contracting HIV. This guy was so wasted, I could actually see Earth’s gravity failing to keep him on the ground. Yeah, of course, I forgot, if your name has Mohm. in Middle East, you get free shipping on your 1st 20 oz. order of Cocaine. So yeah. And this fella, my best friend for the night, offered me a ride home, “<Russian accent> Shakya, I will drop you home my friend. I will drop you home in my Porsche 911.” And as I told you earlier. I can’t say NO. In this occasion, I should have. But I literally couldn’t. Unbearable. No wonder I have 4 girlfriends. Anyway. I told him, YES. I will follow you to the gates of hell. Then he said, “<Russian accent> You might think I am very intoxicated right now. Right? Trust me, I have a test. That is 100% foolproof. If I pass that test, I can confidently say, I will not die while driving.” While, he said all that, I had already started to piss myself. “<Russian accent> If I don’t find my Porsche 911 in next 15 mins, It means, I am not fit to drive tonight.”
For those you don’t know. In Dubai, Parking is super easy but finding where you parked - it’s fundamentally a living nightmare. People lose their family finding which sub section of which gate on which floor they had parked. For the 10% of the people, who take note of the parking details, it takes them 25 mins to find their car. Remaining, 90% are just confident they will. Just like my friend here Mohm.
“<Russian accent> Time starts now. Go Go Go.”
And here I am, volunteering to step into the rabbit hole with my soulmate. The only thought I was having at that time, is the silver lining of this all, would be the headline in the next day’s newspaper. “Inebriated M crashed his 911 into a limousine heading to a major Dubai strip club.” That, ironically would show this city in the most progressive light IMAGINABLE.
“<Russian accent> 14 mins and 45 seconds. Not bad, eh? Yalla. Come on, let me take you home.”
“Sure.”
“<Russian accent> What is that? Did you piss yourself? I can’t have your piss on my 911. F-off. Get a taxi.”
“Sure!”
And somehow me pissing my trousers, saved my life. I say that, because I haven’t heard from him ever since. I am not saying he is dead, just saying, we are not in touch. Why would you assume he died that night? Jesus!
Now F-off. Get a taxi. Go home.
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How to Photograph The Taj Mahal – Best Instagram Locations India, Jaipur
For those of you who have visited Rajasthan in India, you’ll know that literally everywhere you look makes for a beautiful insta photo, it is quite simply the most colourful and photogenic place, I think, in the world.
But if you’re travelling through India on a tight schedule, that isn’t very helpful, so I’ve compiled a list of my favourite including the most iconic sights to visit, particularly if you’re looking for those pretty, picture perfect instagram shots. This is by no means an exhaustive list but just my personal favourites. It’s more of a bucket list or tick list of the most goals insta locations in Rajasthan.
Pictured above: Me at the Taj Mahal and below the Blue room at the City Palace, Jaipur
If you have limited time in India, are on a strict itinerary and want to use those trending hashtags to full effect, here are TheStyleTraveller recommendations for the Top 10 Instagram locations in Rajasthan and on the golden triangle route.
I haven’t even factored in Delhi here because I didn’t have time on my latest trip. But if you want to add your own locations, think I’ve missed some out, or want to share your tips too, then please let me know in the comments below, I’d love to hear from you.
1 The Taj Mahal
Quite simply one of the most spectacular wonders of the world. It is the most famous symbol of love on the planet, a mausoleum of a kings undying love for his queen. It is the most loved and most photographed building in the world. Which in turn means it’s really hard to get a decent photo of it without a huge crowd in your shot.
Tip 1 – Buy a ticket online so you can skip the queues. Check opening days, it’s currently closed every Friday for conservation (article written in April 2019).
Tip 2 – Gates open at sunrise (usually around 6.30am dependent on season) this is when I arrived and crowds were minimal compared to an hour or two later.
Tip 3 – On arrival don’t dawdle in the gardens, head straight to the Taj Mahal itself and to either of the two burnt sienna coloured mosques which stand either side of the main white mausoleum building. From inside the arches of the mosque you get a beautiful arch framed shot of the Taj Mahal like in the opening shot of this blog.
– For the photo above taken from the water gardens we waited in a small queue of people (about 5 mins) let each of them take their shots then we got our time. It’s pretty easy if you’re patient.
– Shot below is taken inside the mosque next to the Taj Mahal.
– I would also recommend going on a week day, not a weekend or a public holiday if you can, it’s much quieter.
Jaipur Old Town – The Pink City
Set aside a good few hours to discover Jaipur old town, aka the pink city. In this area you will find Hawa Mahal (the wind palace pictured below), City Palace and Jantar Mantar (the Royal Obseravtory) all in close proximity, but they are different buildings each with separate (but minimal) entry fee payments.
We loved it here so much we stayed the whole day, I packed a few different outfits to shoot. We went shopping in the gorgeous handicraft stores afterwards, the markets are also a fab backdrop for photos.
2. Hawa Mahal, Jaipur
Tip 1 – In order to get the shot with the full front facade of the iconic building, arrive at the main gate, cross the road in the opposite direction and head to the rooftop cafes on the other side of the street.
It’s polite to buy a drink or a snack and if you ask nicely they should let you get on the roof to take a pic. Be careful though, this is india so there’s no rails, you’re basically on private property, if you injure yourself or act stupidly there’s no one to sue or blame here.
3 City Palace – The Blue Room, Jaipur View Rooftop & Peacock Gate
The city palace is filled with treasures. From the spectacular Peacock Gate (below), to the incredible Blue Room (above) and also hundreds of other shoot locations with no name. I highly recommend a guide, it’s big and not so obvious where to go.
To get to the private quarters of the king (where the blue room is and also the rooftop view) you have to pay an extra fee. It’s expensive by Indian standards, around £35 GBP per person. But it is so worth it. If you get a good guide ours was called Vijay (in house guide at the Jai Mahal Palace) he’ll show you all the best insta spots, give you a history lesson and also politely ask other tourists in Hindi to wait till you get your shot! Now that’s priceless!!
Above: Peacock Gate, Below: the rooftop view from the King’s private quarters at The City Palace.
4 Patricka Gate, Jaipur
Around a 15-25 min drive out of town (dependant on traffic), away from the Pink city is the insta heaven of Patrika Gate. It’s free to get in, there’s literally nothing else here apart from the gate itself in the middle of a huge round about. Get a taxi or private car, get your shot, head home. Job done!
5 Amer stepwell, Jaipur
There are several stepwells in Rajasthan, I know this because we drove to so many. But not all of them let you actually stand on the steps to get a photo. At the moment the Amer stepwell, which is a 20 minute drive North of Jaipur, does let you stand on the steps, but it’s worth checking with your hotel if they are allowing photography at the time of your visit.Amer stepwell: hadynyah/Getty Images
6 Jantar Mantar, Royal Observatory, Jaipur
This place is simply incredible. Filled with ginormous astrological instruments like huge graphic architectural statues it is one of the the most incredible insta locations I’ve seen. Get the tour guide to walk you through the astrological charts and find out more about what your future holds!
7 Jodhpur & Mehrangarh Fort
The immense castle like structure over looking Jodphur and the Blue City is Mehrangarh Fort (pictured below). Not only for the views of the incredible sea of sky blue houses below, but also the structure and intricate architecture inside, it is a must visit location.
Afterwards head down into the city and wander around the beautiful blue buildings. It’s such a calming and visually stunning city. (pictured above)
8 Umaid Bhawan Palace, Jodhpur
Umaid Bhawan Palace is the residence of the King of Jodhpur but also doubles up as one the best hotels in the world. If you’re not lucky enough to get to stay there, head to the museum on site. It’s totally worth a visit just to take in its awesome facade which was where the film The Viceroy’s House was shot and also the spectacular wedding venue of Priyanka Chopra and Nick Jonas. Here’s a link to my you tube video all about staying there!
Me posing outside the incredible architecture with my Avis India chauffeur driven rental car.
9 Taj Lake Palace, Udaipur
The film location for James Bonds 1983 film Octopussy, if you’re not staying at the Lake Palace itself fear not, Udaipur is filled with beautiful marble buildings and the views over the lake from City Palace Museum are stunning too.
Hide in the many arches and alcoves that frame the lake and try and capture the peace and tranquility of this beautiful city. See my full blog about the Taj Lake Palace here and my youtube video here.
10 Monkey temple, between Jaipur and Agra
This was Charlie’s favourite site on our Rajasthan tour. I loved the disused, discarded ghostly architecture of the city and Charlie loved the monkeys! Watch them bathe and play in the uninhabited ancient streets. The monkeys colonised the city when the monks moved out, they are free, happy and have enough food and their new home is a fabulous playground!!For more on Bonnie’s India Road trip click here for the ultimate luxury itinerary and here for the Taj Lake Palace.
That’s all from India for now, next stop The Maldives.
Bon voyage xx
Don’t forget to check out out my You Tube video at the Lake Palace.
The post How to Photograph The Taj Mahal – Best Instagram Locations India, Jaipur appeared first on The Style Traveller.
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Neil’s Reflections
One day Peter and John were going up to the temple at the time of prayer – at three in the afternoon. 2 Now a man who was lame from birth was being carried to the temple gate called Beautiful, where he was put every day to beg from those going into the temple courts. 3 When he saw Peter and John about to enter, he asked them for money. 4 Peter looked straight at him, as did John. Then Peter said, ‘Look at us!’ 5 So the man gave them his attention, expecting to get something from them. …
Acts 3
I’d been like this all my life.
40 years of being excluded.
40 years of people wondering whose fault it was that I was like this.
40 years of shame, knowing that I was reliant on handouts.
40 years of watching the worshippers go into the temple, never being able to go in myself.
40 years of wondering what it would feel like to dance.
And then they looked at me.
It was just another day, like every other one. I’d been helped to my usual spot, just outside the temple gate. I could never go in, it wasn’t allowed. I guess they thought I would somehow infect the worship areas. And anyway I wouldn’t fit in. I couldn’t stand or kneel to pray. So I just sat outside waiting.
But not now.
On that day, I danced my way into the temple. It wasn’t pretty, but it was joyful. These guys had noticed me, had given me their full attention and had welcomed me into a new life. My healing was more than being about able to walk. It was about entering into everything: into God’s presence, into community, into life.
So I danced.
They could have ignored me. Or worse, they could have given me what I wanted. I asked for money. They gave me life.
And, after the dancing, I held on to Peter’s arm to keep my new-found balance while he explained that what had happened to me was because of Jesus. And what had happened to me was an example of what Jesus would do for a world. It would make anyone dance.
But just one last thing. There’s a whole load of people like me. They sit and watch on while you go about your busy business. They watch you as you go and worship. They would love to dance.
Can you give them what you have received? Will you let them lean on you as you explain about Jesus? Will you give them your attention? Will you help them to dance?
Interview
This week’s interview is with Steve Christmas. Steve’s worked in the area of immunology all his life, so this is a really good time to hear from him. He’s a scientist with a strong faith in Jesus and he’s part of our church.
News
Photo by Adi Goldstein on Unsplash
1. Governing Body Changes
As you might remember, three of the present members of the Governing Body will step down in the summer. They are Gill Oldham, Pearl King and Frank Walsh. They have served the church really well by supporting those employed by the church and helping us become the church that we believe God is calling us to be.
We have already agreed that Judith Thompson and Charlie Blundell will replace them, but as we said at the time there was another space to be filled.
We are delighted to be able to tell you that Jumi Isobor has agreed to be proposed as part of the team. If you want to know more about Jumi you can see her here being interviewed with Emmanuel…
As is our custom we give you 14 days to get back to Neil or any of the Governing Body if you have any concerns that you think are really significant. I’d like to thank Jumi for being willing to allow us to put her forward to you. We think Jumi is the right person for the team. She is younger than the rest of us (!), comes from a different ethnic background, loves the church, asks great questions and has a heart for the growth of the Kingdom of God.
2. Our Gatherings
Sunday Gathering
The link to this Sunday’s Gathering is here:
Join our Sunday Zoom meeting
https://us04web.zoom.us/j/836810848
Meeting ID: 836 810 848
Small Groups
A chance to reflect on life and scripture together. We are using this resource at the moment. We are in the third week.
Thursdays at 7.45pm is the time to log on.
Join our small group Zoom meeting
https://us04web.zoom.us/j/998857193?pwd=Ni9ZY2pSSWdQcWRvellMWXJYbG5rZz09
Meeting ID: 998 857 193
Inviting Others
During these strange days, we want to stay growing as church. You might have friends and family who might be interested in staying in touch with us as a church. Ask them to fill out the form on our church website and we will add them to our mailing list.
Sign up for updates from Salford Elim Church
This may be an easy time to invite friends and family to our Gatherings, after all they can be with us from the safety of their own homes. You have nothing to lose, they have a lot to gain!
3. You’re not alone
If you need prayer, or need to talk, don’t hesitate to contact folks in your WhatsApp group, or Neil – his number is 07771 558058.
4. Hardship fund
We set aside some of church’s money so that we can respond to needs that we become aware of in church. You might want to give to that fund, if so, let Bev Walsh know, or you might be in need yourself. If you would need help, don’t be embarrassed to talk with Charlie Blundell. We want to help.
Links and Resources
1. A rather good film you saw half of!
This is the Psalm 23 film that I stopped on Sunday!
Sorry!
2. Neil on Purpose!
Last year I was part of a research project looking at what helped people grow as disciples of Jesus. I presented some of the findings as part of Elim’s Leadership Summit last week. If you’d like to watch it, it’s here:
The findings about purpose were particularly interesting and I intend to lead some sessions on discovering your own purpose in the near future. There are other sessions that you might find helpful. Malcolm Duncan preached a powerful sermon on grief that you might find helpful (Malcolm starts speaking at around 27 mins.):
3. Children’s Resources
Morag and Ian have out together a couple of films for children at different ages. Having said that, whatever your age you might want to take a look!
But if you have children that fall into these groups, I know that they will really value your feedback.
You can watch them here:
This week’s Kids Resources
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Umpteenth day of social isolation: time for a new chapter in Charlie the beagles story.
Hoping to keep our doggie safe for the public, that we arent going out into unless its work or groceries, we had a vet appointment.
Now, we had this already scheduled since last March. We forgot about it or we would have delayed until it was safer to be in public. They called us to remind us it was time so we made plans.
They called later last week to explain their new process for the unforeseeable future. We would arrive, call them from the parking lot, and they would come to get him from our car and take him alone into the building. He would get his check up, shots, and they would call with results and if there were questions. Then they would process the bill over the phone, and bring him out again. Easy peasy.
So we showed up. On the way he almost jumped out at a red light because, squirrel. He was scrambling to get out an 8 inch space though so fortunately mr loudmouth was stuck barking like a mad dog. Finally pulling into the parking lot, he sees his favorite human, Jeff, who was meeting us there.
Now a bit about Charlie, he is stubborn. As a mule. Once its in his head to do, its very hard to dissuade him. So I have Jeff come to every vet appointment because Charlie can be a bit much to handle, and frankly, I dont want to be dragged through the parking lot on my face. Ive had trouble controlling him in the past, as has Tori, so Jeffs presence is necessary. (For example of Charlies strength, please refer to the time he pulled me off my front porch, or pulked a fridge a foot from the wall when it was blocked by a table and chairs... Not fun.)
So as I was saying, he sees Jeff. Now this dog just had the lesson he could not fit through the window, but does that deter him? No. No it does not. He still tries to wriggle through barking and carrying on like only a beagle or a hound dog can. Jeff calls the receptionist, climbs out of his truck and thinks that rubbing Charlie's head will calm him down. Lol, silly man.
Eventually, he takes his royal pain in the tush out of the car. And he stands in the grassy berm in front of our car so Charley can do his business. During the process, leaves blow. Yes, there was wind. Of course, this distracts Charlie. He immediately goes into alert. He just knows theres a squirrel nearby. And then the baying starts. I sat there laughing as I watch this relatively speaking smallish dog literally pulling Jeff towards the road. Thank goodness for harnesses. If it had not been on, we would have been chasing him down as he has perfected getting out of his collar. It takes Jeff a few minutes to wrestle Charlie back to our car, which was when the vet tech came to get him. Jeff grabbed his drink and sat about 2 minutes with us.
Jeff was about to run to the gas station for a moment, and decided to climb back into his truck. Before he could get out of the lot, they called him. And Charlie was brought back. Shortest vet visit EVER. Maybe 5 min? Yet it cost us over $200 for shots and check up. (Hmmmm... thinking they might over charge for their services. Thinking we may need to start shopping around for new vet.)
So our little pain is healthy. He has his shots. His teeth are ground down from trying to chew his way out of everything. Yes, he did finally escape the pens at doggie day care as I predicted. It did not take a month like I thought, but I digress. What was of interest was he was up to date on all his shots, and rabies wont be needed until next year. "He is a perfect gentleman." Says the tech. Obviously shes new. Lol. 😂
But our beagle mix, all 71 lbs* (❗😲) of him, will be around to pepper my feed with stories, and his instagram with pictures of his antics another year. (What? You havent followed him over there yet? You can find him at https://instagram.com/charlemagnethebeagle?igshid=he2cdxq335cr 😁)
*PSA: we do know hes plump. He is also larger (taller) than a normal beagle (18-30 lbs). He has most likely been mixed with an English Foxhound (65-70 lbs at healthy weight) or an English Coonhound (65 - 80 lbs at healthy weight), which are also taller and possibly stronger than Charlie. But we do realise his weight needs to be watched...we arent abusing him with food. And he could probably lose a few pounds, but his weight has always been around 60-65 since we got him and that has not been an issue according to our vet due to his height. And we take care not to over feed him too much. Though he does get a few table bits, they generally are pieces of veggies or meat tidbits. But a diet change may be looming ahead in the future if he continues to tick up the lbs. I promise we love him. ❤
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Best System Bets Review – Does It Really Work?
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Best System Bets is a reliable steed auto racing system steed that supplies the most effective wagering pointers that completely assure you high earnings. It mostly make certain that you capture the ideal probabilities at the correct time. This is since it has best methods as well as tricks that you will certainly not locate anywhere else.
Usually it is a cutting edge brand-new solution in the marketplace that targets at signaling you using e-mail each and every single day over ranked probabilities that will certainly bring you high revenues. It is extremely unique and also includes just the very best.
Betting is one challenging revenue getting task. Sometimes you make losses as well as you can also make extremely high earnings by simply positioning a solitary wager. Did you understand that you can excellent it by embracing an ideal program that will lead you with?
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Regarding the Writer, Charlie Kemp.
Charlie Kemp is the guy behind this program. He is an experience equine wagering punter that has actually created rather a good luck from equine wagering. His major function on this program is to reveal you exactly how you can make even more loan from wagering.
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There is a great deal to learn and also attain when you purchase this system. It offers you just the very best as well as right here are a variety of points that you reach anticipate with this system.
Best System Bets will certainly outfit you with needed abilities as well as methods that will certainly assist you anticipate the victor based upon previous race efficiency.
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Tips got in provides you top quality recommendations to enable you to comply with equine auto racing without any requirement to do any kind of challenging job.
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That Is This Program For?
Truthfully I would certainly advise this system for any person that agrees as well as able to buy wagering. As I earlier stated, you do not require to have any type of previous understanding to take care of the system. That indicates that it appropriates for both the novices and also expert punters.
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The majority of evaluations available will certainly suggest this rip-off cost-free program given that it deserves relying on. Normally, with this overview you can produce earnings within the quickest time feasible given that its chances are real as well as efficient.
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– It concentrates on steed auto racing, an area that has in fact not been well discovered by casino players making it an unique mission making the possibility of you winning greater.
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Cons
– You need to take care sufficient when putting your wagers because a solitary done error, you might wind up shedding the whole wager.
– You require to have an excellent working web link for you to accessibility this program.
Summary
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The post Best System Bets Review – Does It Really Work? appeared first on Does It Really Work?.
#DoesItReallyWork, #review #reviews
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Bad Girls Know: Orenda Chats With MIMI
You may have seen her at Splendour in the Grass, Listen Out, Falls Festival, Beyond the Valley and Secret Garden. She’s supported TLC, Alison Wonderland, Steve Aoki, WhatSoNot, Post Malone, Peking Duk and George Maple. Now, Melbourne’s best party-starter has released her debut single, Bad Girls Know, promising that the party with MIMI is just getting started. Darcy Rock sat down with MIMI to chat Spice Girls, her creative process and WTFFFFF moments.
Tell us three things about yourself?
I love seeing people being happy and that my 'job' helps contribute to peoples happiness.
I wish I could travel back in time and be in my 20s in the 1970s for a little while and party at STUDIO 54 and dance on SOUL TRAIN and be a Go-Go dancer.
Growing up I was Posh Spice but now I am a combo of Scary and Ginger Spice.
What was your inspiration behind ‘Bad Girls Know’?
I like songs that put you in the type of mood where you feel like a million dollars. It can be any genre, and style and any tempo. But the feeling of feeling good about yourself is what I wanted to capture. Being a 'bad girl' isn't about being 'evil' — it's about a Rihanna state-of-mind and a positive and gutsy attitude to loving yourself so fiercely. For me to get into that mood, it can be a faux-fur coat, diamontes, dancing in the mirror, having a sing-a-long, having fun with wigs. That's what makes me happiest so my debut track is about those things which make me ready to take on the world. It was written in the car on the drive home from the session with the producer in about 30 minutes and there's also references about cars and driving in your own lane and having the drive to create the life you want to live and things you wanna achieve. It's about being unapologetically fabulous. Bad Girls Know how to have a good time.
You directed the music video for ‘Bad Girls Know’ - what was your favourite part about doing that?
The best part is that everything you see on screen (the energy, the good vibes) that was all real and happening when the camera WASN'T rolling. Even better - the girls in the clip didn't know each other and within 5 minutes of trying on each other's clothes, putting on wigs and opening a bottle of champagne - the connection was just incredible. Everyone was feeling themselves and giving me 200% so giving direction was so easy - I felt so supported! I love having creative control over my vision and being in the Director and Editors seat. A dream come true is MTV playing the clip!
What is your creative process like for songwriting, mixing and producing?
A lot of the time I find driving in the car to instrumental demos singing along (the way BAD GIRLS KNOW was written) works well for me. I come from a background as a musician with a jazz degree, so I'm very musical. I don't have major skills on the computer/production side of things but I'll work with producers who make my ideas come to life. I usually come in with very strong musical direction, references and have lyrics, melody, chord progressions everything ready to go and the technical side of things I work with a producer but am very hands-on with.
Can you tell us about a ‘wow’ moment in your career so far?
There have been so many incredible artists I've been able to open for including TLC, Alison Wonderland, Katy Perry, Bruno Mars afterparties, Peking Duk - it's always so nice when someone will come up and say they have listened to your song / your mixes etc. and positively impacted someone's life. This week in particular, has been a huge WOW moment as I found out I'll be touring the country with Nicki Minaj on the FOMO Festival line up. I definitely used WTFFFFF instead of WOW when I found out hahaha. also having my song played 4 times on Triple J this week was a really huge moment for me as a self-managed artist.
What do you do pre-show to amp up?
It doesn't really take me much to get amped up - I'm very much an ON person a lot of the time. I also have a lot of clothing which puts me in that mood and it can be as simple as putting on a cowboy hat and dancing around for 5 mins before leaving the house that can do it instantly.
What is on your Bad Girls playlist?
Too many to name but it would include Spice Girls, Rihanna, Charli XCX, M.I.A, Nicki Minaj, Beyonce, Kylie, Madonna, Missy Elliot, Gwen Stefani.
What is the rest of 2018 looking like for MIMI?
I'm currently working on my live show which I hope to be like a huge arena spectacular in a small capacity room. The type of party where you're having way too much fun to be scrolling on your phone. I also have lots of music I'm working on and have a lot of film clips concepts in mind and look forward to editing and directing them too. The Party with Mimi is just getting started.
Download/listen to Bad Girls Know or follow MIMI on Facebook
Interviewed by Darcy Rock.
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